Every day for these two witless Ponyta stallions consisted of grazing, plowing, feeding, and going to the stable for each night. Sometimes, their irresponsible Master would just leave them there for a few days, stocked and crammed with hay, fruit, and chew toys, so that he can go out and catch wild Pokemon.
In one of those evenings, the two frustrated Ponytas, "Snob" and "Slob", burned down their dilapidated stable, and ran into the forest just next door. Even though they already had fire on their manes and tails to light their path, they still relied on moonlight to guide their way through the undergrowth, hopefully to avoid predators -- even though their light might lure some towards them.
Being the clumsy buffoon he is, Snob tripped and fell down a slope. His absent-minded friend chortled, "Wait for me!" and jumped. Slob's adamant hooves broke through the ground. Its impact was strong enough to throw his friend through several trees, and cause the topsoil to collapse.
"Snob! Snob!" he barked to his miserable friend, which got himself up. He found Slob to be in the middle of a big hole. "LOOK AT ALL THIS CANDY!" Slob bit on a lump of the "candy" lodged on the wall. He struggled to pluck it out of the wall, but to no avail.
"Candy in wall is rock, Slob," Snob answered. "Is always too hard to pull out, boy." Slob let go of the "Candy" and followed Snob out of the mine. Their eyes got fixated at a blinking light at the distance, just beyond the bushes, but they were drawn by its sugary smell. As they galloped towards the light they sound several Rare Catcherons, wrapped in glistening blue foil. Their eyes swelled, and their mouths drooled, from such a delectable sight before them.
"CANDY!!!" both Ponytas bellowed. They greedily wolfed down every single sweet.
===
Dang-dong-dang-don, dong-dang-deng-don.
They heard something like bells chiming around them. They were dragged forward by their jaws by some unseen force, and it realeased of them as it coalesced into a tall, slender fairy. Clad in purple and black, in their eyes she is much more terrible than the night and its threats around them: from her corvid wings, to her hair of dark flames, her clothes, and her skin. When the light around her faded, the Ponytas' fires, and those shooting out and around the being's eyes, horn, and the tips of her legs, were the only lights remaining. Her broad eyes glared down at them. The two equine Pokemon slowly backed away, frightened by her magnificent terror.
"I want to know much about Pokemon, and of Ponytas, like you two," she cackled. "Both of you two will come with me, to be my newest test subjects."
As fearful as he is now, Slob turned his head sideways, fascinated by her strange appearance. "Why you is have horn," he asked. "You is Rapidash become human? And why is you not yellow like Rapidash?" Meanwhile, Snob was munching some grass.
"That's what I always look like," the fairy replied. "Terrible as I am to others, that is just what I am!"
Snob looked up. "And why you is live in candy?" the Ponyta spluttered and grinned. "Candy fairy, you is give many candy to make us grow into Rapidash? Also, can I try your wings? Do they look delicious?" The fairy grew more irritated than an overheated kettle by his ridiculous questions -- she wanted to commence her plans now, as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Slob slowly tried to take a bite at one of her shoes, mistaking it for some more Candy.
"FOOLISH BRUTES!" she furiously boomed. Her figure burst into blue flames, searing into Slob's otherwise-immune skin. This, and her sudden disappearance, scared the two Ponytas into fleeing into the forest. Both of them started arguing over each other's poor choices.
"Slob! You is make big mistake, expecting Candy in wild forest, when is bad human fairy use Candy to catch us there!"
"Then why is you go to forest? We is should go to mountains, because there is less human at night. Better is Zubat flock, instead of go to wild forest for short way out of humans!"
Just when they thought that they were safe from her, and any predator or human ...
"BOO!"
She appeared in front of them out of thin air in a flash of blue and black. Her wings grew into a jet-black barrier, and surrounded them, closing up any available avenue of their escape. Amid her seemingly endless laughter ringing through their ears, Snob and Slob had to stand their ground against the dreadful being before them.
===
"You think I could let you go so easily? Not a chance."
"You is let us have no choice, but fight you, monster!" Snob neighed.
"Bring it on." the fairy smirked. "What are you two against all my powers, anyway?"
Snob and Slob tried with each move to kick, bite, bash into, or burn the monstrous being before them, but she kept dodging every one of their clumsy moves. Amused by this, she burst into another fit of laughter, rolling around and banging her fist on an imaginary floor on mid-air.
"Again," she chuckled, wiping tears from her eyes, "what chance do you two clowns have against me?"
They ignited their manes and leaped towards her. The fairy shoved her hands and froze them in mid-air. She flicked her right hand, and the Ponytas continued their screaming, until they realized that they cannot move. The barrier that surrounded them receded back into wings.
"Let me go, fairy!" Slob cried. "I is want get out!"
"Me?" she asked. "I am no ordinary fairy. I am, however, Schwannhilde Midnight Sparkle!" Her appearance and her voice became more terrible as she continued. "I am Queen of the Fairies, Empress of Equestria, the Master of a Million Forms of Magic!" Her face grew a round snout as that of a teddy-horse, and her ears struck up into two lavender petals. She closed her two hands into fists, which melted into something like hooves, and reached out to the two Ponytas like a predator leaping towards her prey.
Just as she was about to touch their heads, they released a strong blast at her face, before she could even have a second to think of a spell to protect herself from their flames. She wailed in pain from the searing burns, and covered her melting face. From the deep sockets of her exposed skull, two raging red embers quickly scowled at Slob and his friend.
"I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU TWO!" she shrieked, as she pointed at them. "I'LL BE BACK!" The fairy vanished, and the two Ponytas landed on the dirt.
Slob looked up at where the fairy once flew. "Get close, and you is burn some more!" he taunted.
Author's Note
Pokemon Go and this picture inspired this nonsense. Also, the "Midnight" in "Midnight Sparkle" makes me think of the chimes of the Big Ben.
Take me out to the ball game
"Slob, you is need run now," Snob suggested. "If we is stay here, human or monster is come find and catch us, or big candy fairy is come back catch us. We need move, now!"
"But I is tired, Snob," Slob replied. "We is sleep here?"
"No, Slob, fool!" Snob angrily whinnied. "You is follow me if you want live, or you is be clumsy and let monster fairy catch you." He went off without his happy-go-lucky friend, before the latter changed his plans and followed him.
"Can I is race with you, Snob? Yes?"
Snob let out a disappointed snort.
As the two Ponytas galloped into the woods, they rushed so quickly and carelessly, that tails and manes occasionally burned overgrowth, causing several forest fires. They grew more tired from their sprint, that they rested at an abandoned mansion, where they dozed off into the morning. They spent the next day grazing, munching at fruit and berries, and bathing by the streams.
What an unfortunate day it was for them, as everywhere they went, they would be pestered by the local Pokemon: Spearows and Ursarings at the wooded paths, Krabbys and Magikarps by the river, and Geodudes and Wobbuffets along the paths. And they tried their best to avoid any trainers wandering about, so they will not get hunted down by the trainers' Pokemon, get captured and separated, and be subjected to possible abuse. Even when these two battered Pokemon returned to the mansion to rest for the night, they had to navigate their way through the hundreds of Zubats flooding and screeching in the halls.
===
In spite of this, they have managed to find a room for themselves. It was a vast hall, though not as large as the Zubat colony by the entrance, but still large enough for the Ponytas' manes to reveal the paintings on the ceiling and walls. In the middle of the hall was a long table, draped in a faded white cloth and studded with cups, plates, and candles. Before them is a long window looking out to the wooded hills. To the two equines' left is a table filled with various works of art: many ornate clocks, in a quiet chorus of tick-tocks, surrounded by cracking, crumbling busts, under the watchful eyes of an oil painting of an Entei in his majestic wrath. To their right, and beyond the other end of the table, is a fireplace, which shone under the pale, cold moonlight. Snob began to sniff at the stuffy air.
"What you smell, Snob?" Slob, being clumsy as usual, just knocked himself against the Table of Clocks, causing two busts to tumble down and crash.
Snob slowly walked towards the table. "Muffins, sandwiches, apples ... " he muttered, " ... all food is there, right in front of my eyes." The closer Snob was to the "food", the more real they appeared before his eyes. And one by one, the candles on the table are being lit, with every inch nearer to the table.
"Well, I is go try the food," Slob mused to himself. "Table looks empty." He gave a snort of amusement, and ran to the table. He quickly saw a glimpse of the same table, decked with food and having many of its candles lit, before he knocked it over and overturned it, spilling its metallic utensils throughout the floor.
Snob was upset. "Where is food?!" he roared.
===
Dun-ding-dun-dun, dun-ding-dun-dun. As foolish and forgetful they may be, the two Ponytas recognized that sound coming from one of the clocks. That was the same noise that preceded the Candy Fairy's presence: she might be coming, or she might be here already. They tried to run for the doors, but they suddenly slammed shut right in front of their noses. They tried to burn the door like they previously did to the Fairy, but it stood there. It was blackened by the Ponyta's hasty blasts, but it remained intact.
"Midnight Sparkle is here!" cried out a voice behind them. One by one, all the other clocks joined the lone clock as well, including every other clock in the hall. Their chimes were drowned in a cascade that morphed into something like a woman's laughter.
The two Ponytas were then drawn in by their manes, and were turned towards the window, where the Candy Fairy floated in front of it. This time she appeared as a purple unicorn, with the shining horn and black wings of her human form.
"How do you think of my new look?" she asked.
"You is look fat," blurted Slob, who grinned afterwards. The annoyed fairy-horse froze him and his friend afterwards.
===
"Now," said the fairy, "I would like to play a game with you two for a while." She dropped the Ponytas, and adjusted them that they stood still on the floor. They had been allowed to move their heads and speak, but they were not able to move their legs.
"What game?" asked Snob.
"I'll grant each of you three wishes." She pointed at Snob. "Since you are the smarter one of the two, you'll start first. What do you honestly want?" Snob paused to think of an idea.
"ANSWER ME, QUICKLY!" the fairy-horse yelled.
"So, I is want eat sandwich!"
The unicorn shot from her horn, and a shower of sandwiches bombarded the Ponyta. Of this deliciously messy cascade Snob can only eat a few, sprinkled with some ashes from the pastries burned by his mane. All around this stained Pokemon is a puddle of mayonnaise, strewn with vegetables and cheese. The fairy grabbed a smartphone from a pocket on her dress, and took a picture of herself.
"It taste bad," he complained. "Food is taste like dust."
"What's your second wish, then?" the fairy-horse asked again. "You better not delay this time."
"I is want jetpack for flying far away -- no, I want be Rapidash!"
"Very well, then." The unicorn shot her horn at Snob, and he was trapped by three jetpacks. She shot again, and the jetpacks formed an arch over him, before she turned them over for his friend to notice what condition he has gotten himself into.
"Look at your friend now, Slob!" the fairy-horse called. "Doesn't he look more handsome now?"
Slob snorted and whinnied into laughter, shooting his burning mane here and there. His friend was irritated.
"What is so funny?" he asked.
"You is a fat little horse with eye like cartoon!" Slob blurted.
"What you say?"
"Look at tray, and you is see for yourself!" The fairy-horse lifted a tray for the Ponyta to see his new appearance.
He looked at his legs: no longer were they slender and fine, but broad and fat, like those the fairy-horse. His hooves were nowhere to be seen, though they might have been merged into the rest of his sandy legs. He looked up at his face: his eyes were big and red, and his snout became as square as a shoebox. Meanwhile, the fairy-horse grabbed her smartphone again to take another picture.
Snob was furious. "Why, you is make me fat and short, yes?!" he angrily asked her.
"You should have thought carefully before making your last two wishes," the fairy-horse replied, "because you've use them up."
"Now I is want become real Rapidash, not fat little horse!" Snob complained. "If you is not turn me to Rapidash I will burn you again!" He shot fiery blasts from his horn and his mane. The fairy-horse kept dodging his shots as they burst through the windows behind her, and set some of the ornaments around them ablaze.
The infuriated Ponyta twisted his head around to aim at the fast fairy-horse. But she became more quicker than him, so quick, that he instead saw a band of purple clouds crackling with pink lightning over his head. He then kept on firing his horn at the band, but it caught his shots, merging them into a larger fireball that raced in circles around him. The fairy-horse stopped and hurled the fireball at the Entei portrait, causing it to collapse into a portal.
"All of this is so good to see!" Slob muttered to himself. "I wish I is have many Candies and tasty food for me and Snob, and for Master to see all of this!" Hearing this the fairy-horse grinned and caused a cascade of food (including some more sweets) to descend unto him. Another shower of food rained upon Snob, smearing his coat again.
She fired another shot at Snob, releasing him. He leaped towards her in a burst of angry rage, only to crash through the window and fall into the dark mountain valley. The fairy-horse shot a beam of pink energy at him and dragged him up. Holding an arm of a broken chair with, she smacked him in the withers to the portal.
"A home run!" she cried.
The Ponytas' owner found himself wildly cheering and calling for his Caterpie just beside his friend, who was busy slurping some cheese on the floor. A few moments ago, he was dueling against one of his old rivals; now he was in an abandoned hall in the middle of nowhere, where he is stuck with one of his Ponytas (who supposedly caused the mess next to him). Flying above him was that fat little purple unicorn who supposedly brought him here.
"Now, what?!" he yelled. "I was just about to tell Charlie to deal the finishing blow!"
"At least you are with one of your best friends," the fairy-horse replied. "Any last wishes, before you're going to join him?"
"Send me back home already!" the human cried out. "I don't know what exactly you are, Pokemon, or alien, but you are creeping me out."
"Then my place will be your new home," the fairy-horse responded. She magically lifted him and Slob in the air, and whacked both of them into the portal.
--
The two equine Pokemon and their human owner later found themselves to be within a dim, crystalline chamber. All of them are being bound to a frame of iron. Before them stood the fairy-horse: no longer does she appear to them as a monster as she previously did, but merely a chubby purple unicorn, with two duck-like wings tucked in her sides. She wore a white lab coat.
"Hi!" she chirped. Her amethyst eyes beamed up to her captives. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. How are you three doing?"
"Get me out of here, you freak of nature!" the Ponytas' owner cried. He struggled and twisted his body as he tried to break free from his iron frame. "I would as well shoot you right now!"
The fairy-horse turned towards the two Ponytas. "And you two?" she asked.
"Why is you so tiny and fat?" Slob asked back. "And where is food and candy?"
"I'll give it to you later, after the experiments are finished," the fairy-horse responded. "Also, I'd like to be a monster sometimes just for the fun of it." As they were speaking the Ponytas' human owner smashed at his frame-cage and cursed at the fairy-horse.
She turned towards the other Ponyta, and asked him, "What about you?" Even though he is angry at the fairy-horse for trapping him into some place as horrid as her chamber, he refused to say anything. He is so tired from his failed fight against the fairy-horse, that he felt like giving up.
"Then I'll brief you three about my experiment," the fairy-horse continued. She took a deep breath. "It will involve many mental tests," she chattered, "that is, the usage of your brains to determine how will they adapt to various situations -- " The fairy-horse got interrupted by the Ponytas' owner spitting at her right eye.
"Well," said the fairy-horse, after nursing her eye, "I'll return the favour, because, love and tolerance." She gave a slice of chocolate cake for the owner to eat, but the owner spat it out.
"If I get out of this prison," he ranted, "I WILL TEAR OFF THOSE CUTESY WINGS OF YOURS, AND FEED YOUR MEAT TO SOME URSARINGS, I WILL! NOW GET ME OUTTA HERE, NOW!"
"Not until you finally behave yourself, Mr. Human!" the fairy-horse shouted back. She shot a beam of energy, and caused the infuriated owner to fall asleep.
"Back to business, shall we?" The fairy-horse smirked. She pressed a lever, causing three helmets studded with little blinking lights that slowly descended upon her three captives. Before the fairy-horse left the room, she presented to them another colourful horse: she also wears a lab coat, but her coat is pink, her mane is a cascade of magenta fluff, and her eyes are two sparkling sapphires. This horse appears to be constantly smiling and sticking her tongue out in mischief. She also has no wings and no horn, so she at least looks more normal than the fairy-horse next to her.
"I'm leaving you three to the care of my assistant, Dr. Pinkamena Diane Pie." the fairy-horse explained. "She's actually more smarter than she looks."
"Excuse me?" the pink horse glared. What her friend said about her might have offended her, as it implies that her part-time career as a scientist is a waste of time, and so might attempt to discourage her from following her dream of bringing some joy to Twilight "guests".
"Sorry." the fairy-horse replied. "I'll be away to have a meeting with my friends. See you later!" With the fairy-horse away, a big, sinister grin grew on the pink horse's face. Her icy eyes are locked on towards the poor Ponytas and their asleep owner.
"Well, well, well," she mused to the three. "Let's play some little party games, shall we?" She began pressing several buttons, switches, and levers, as her mischievous laughter rang throughout the whole chamber.
With the Pink Empress of Parties in control of the experiments, whatever virtual worlds that the three minds would enter into will be more wild, unpredictable, and downright amusingly dreadful. As much as they wondered why do they have to endure all this, she especially enjoyed making them scream from their dreams -- that is, perhaps from the overwhelming entertainment of them all!
