Discord settled down to sleep.
Oh, not in the manner most NORMAL ponies or princesses would, of course, but in his own unique way, with his bathrobe and bunny slippers worn and a nice warm glass of chocolate milk at his bedside, his blankets and teddy bear at the ready, and his bed nine feet off the floor on a floating banana.
After another long but productive day of minor chaos-induced pranks, tea parties and service to the realm concluded, it was now time to retreat into the realm of dreams. After casting a quick warding spell, that was—it wouldn’t do to have a certain nosy Princess of the Night barging in on his dreams of unhindered chaos and frolicking through the ice-cream fields of Minotoa... again. With that out of the way, he snuggles up under his sheets, claps off his firefly lantern and closes his eyes, allowing his body to settle and mind to wander as his dreams start to form. For even if he had to do some things like others would, he would always made the effort to make sure they were done with style!
As usual, the dream of his desires starts forming as everything started coming into being. “Woo-HOO!” With a shout of joy amongst the sounds of his imagined world he turns the downhill dirt path into a slick marble floor. With a quick snap of his claws he materializes mismatched socks on his mismatched legs and with a push he glides along like a Equestria Games figure skater, showing off considerable skill that few ponies could ever hope to accomplish, leading him to wonder if perhaps he shouldn’t enter the next games himself.
As he moved along he noticed something different off in the distance, a door made out of some sort of metal and a button in an inlaid panel just off to the right of it. It was just hanging in mid-air; there was nothing to indicate that it was part of the environment. Yet when he floated closer to look behind it, he saw nothing there; it could only be seen from the one side and even then only when he was in JUST the right spot in the world to see it.
Ignoring the strange phenomena for the time being he continues on his merry way. But in the back of his mind his thoughts kept returning to the oddity he had witnessed. It wasn’t something he’d ever seen before, maybe his brilliantly chaotic mind had something new in store for him to see and use later on! The thought made him chuckle as he summoned some ballerina buffalo and flying beavers to start populating the dream he was in, anything for that little extra bit of classy chaos to make it more enjoyable of course.
Several dreams away, Luna Nocturn, Princess of the Night and Keeper of Dreams, was once again prowling the dreamscape looking for ponies or other favored beings to see if there were any nightmares of pressing concern to bring to her attention. She regularly patrolled the dreamscape as was her nightly duties and responsibility. A monumental task to be sure, but the immortal alicorn wouldn’t have it any other way. With each nightmare vanquished and pony helped, more and more of her little ponies had started to appreciate her wonderful night. She even occasionally had visitors at her Night Court now and then, petitioners for redress of various grievances, or well-wishers trying to show her just how appreciated she truly was now.
It was a vast change from centuries before, before her downfall from grace and descent into madness, and a very welcome one at that. Passing by a floating door marked with an upside-down umbrella filled with chocolate milk, she noted once again that Discord had made it nearly impossible to enter his dreams… and after the last time she mistakenly visited them, she wasn’t about to try. In any event, Discord of all beings would hardly need her help, so sensing a distressed foal experiencing a vivid nightmare, she went to her aid and didn’t give the chaos lord’s dream door another thought.
Back within his dream world Discord was finally unable to resist temptation any longer. He returned to the door with the recessed button beside it and gives it a push. With a soft ‘ding!’ noise the doors parted to reveal a rather expensive looking elevator interior and not much else except for a single potted plant in the corner. Stepping inside, he finds only one button to push, and not giving up its secrets to his inquiring stare, he finally presses it and waits. With another soft ‘ding!’ the draconequus is subtly shut into the elevator before he feels the sensation of moving for several moments as a catchy tune plays over the small speaker in the ceiling, making him make a mental note to magically change all elevator music in Equestria to something more… stimulating as a prank the next day.
After the song ends the elevator comes to a soft and barely perceptible stop. The doors open once again with a final ‘ding!’ to reveal what seems to be a office of some sort, in a style that he’s never seen before. A chair at a wide desk moves about somewhat and some sort of odd paw moves in a gesture he isn’t entirely sure of, its unknown occupant facing away from him. “Ah, you’re finally here. Come and take a seat Discord, I thought we would have a nice little chat this evening,” a deep and strangely cultured male voice speaks.
Though somewhat befuddled—an odd sensation for the chaos god—Discord moves to take the proffered seat while speaking in return. “Certainly. And just who are you, my fine and friendly creature?”
The being in the chair seems to sound displeased at that. “For starters, I am not a creature, nor your friend. And secondly this meeting is not about me… but about you, mister self-titled ‘Lord of Chaos’.” A wave of the mystery limb, whose species was indeterminate, stopped any potential response the disconcerted draconequus could’ve given as he spoke up again up and continued.
“About me?” Discord was surprised to feel a sense of increasing unease.
“Of course about you. I have to confess, Discord, that I have found myself… very disappointed with your recent performance.” As he speaks, a movie screen materializes above the mystery chair-bound figure, showing surprisingly the events where he had first gotten loose from his stone prison on the castle grounds. The chocolate rain, the taunting and teasing of Celestia and her subjects, the vague hints on where he hid the Elements, and finally his actions within the maze to divide and conquer the element bearers themselves. It was a highlight reel that ended on a decidedly low note as the movie montage concluded with him holding a target conveniently against himself before the harmony blast hits him and turns him back to stone, at which point the images cease and the screen again goes dark.
He half-expected the seated figure to spin around to face him, but he remained stubbornly hidden, continuing to look away as the movie screen replayed the sequence again. “I regret to say I find your efforts unworthy at best, Discord. Now, while it may, from their perspective seem to be quite chaotic in its own right, from where I and many others sit, it was anything but.” Discord raises a claw at this, about to make a rebuttal of epic proportions, maybe even induce a little chaos magic to make his point. But the figure again somehow silences him with a disdainful wave of his limb and continues once again. “Do you know what you are, Discord? The same as any other being who came into that elevator and hit that button. The same as any other being who stayed up too late sipping chocolate milk and suffers not just indigestion as the consequences. I am here to review your performance, and I’m sorry to say that I find it quite… wanting.”
Discord remained silent, his sense of unease growing further, slowly turning into outright fear. He couldn’t understand why he suddenly felt so cowed, like a child being told he’d disappointed his parents and was an unworthy heir to their throne.
As if aware of his thoughts, the being seems to wait a moment, letting his words sink in before continuing. “You’re far too predictable, so-called chaos god. How very orderly of you to be so easy to figure out. As I watch this debacle unfold, I can only think that a child could’ve done better at being unpredictable. But you? Overconfident, overwrought, and ineffective. You’re supposed to be the best there is but if this is your best? Then the chaos legacy is in poor paws indeed…” As the words strike home the self-titled lord of chaos seems to become smaller, a shadow of his former self. They were just words, but they hit him right where it hurt the most, and the worst part of it all was that he couldn’t say anything in rebuttal. He tried frantically to come up with some way to bring the conversation into a more favorable stance for himself, but he could not, for as he listened to the other figure’s performance appraisal, he knew in his heart that every word was true.
He started to sweat and shake with increasing intensity. He dimly recognized them as signs of an impending breakdown if the mystery being kept going, and there was little sign of him ending anytime soon. The Equestrian language seemed to have many words and phrases meaning similar things and this being was making sure most of them were uttered to him right now, reinforcing and adding to the long litany of his captive’s missteps and failures with each new sentence.
It was then in a moment of clarity that Discord decided to get out of the dream—this had to be a dream right?—before he suffered any further mental trauma. He tried to wake up, to end it with a snap of his fingers, wanting more chocolate milk or the presence of Fluttershy to bring some reassurance or peace of mind, only to find himself trapped, forced to listen to the other being systematically dismantle him. In the real world his body moves about as if in distress, occasionally a small frightened noise could be heard over his quickened breathing, but he was alone; nopony heard him or came to his aid.
With that, the mysterious figure stamped a scroll, rolled it up and passed it to him. “Our business in concluded then, Chaos God. Your evaluation is complete, and is very unsatisfactory. If you do not show improvement in the next two months, I cannot guarantee our continued support or indulgence.”
With that, the mysterious figure snaps his fingers and Discord wakes up with a start, finding himself in a cold sweat and tangled in his sheets. Without even thinking he snaps his claws and appears next to Princess Luna’s seemingly prone form, before rapidly shaking her back to the realm of the awake and alert.
“DISCORD! HOW DARE THEE! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THY INTRUSION UPON OUR SACRED DUTIES OF THE NIGHT?” She stops after this however seeing the look upon his face, one of utter fear, despondence and dejection. A look she’s never even remotely seen on his face before. “WHAT IS… uhm… hmmhrmm... what is wrong with you, Discord?” her voice drops and anger vanishes as she recognizes his distress.
Discord looks at Luna in the eyes briefly before looking down and seemingly mumbling something.
Luna looks at him somewhat sternly. “If thou wishes for our assistance, thou wilt speak clearly.”
Discord finally looks back at her once more and finally speaks up in a somewhat subdued and shaky voice.
“I had a nightmare…”
Author's Note
Thank-you all for taking the time to give this piece a look! I would like to thank Firesight (For hitting me upside the head and telling me that Run-On sentences are evil, EVIL demons that needed to be exorcised with fire), and AJ Afficionado for reinforcing the earlier and then reminding me that there's still there's other things to fix too.
