Welcome to the Family (Re-Writ)

I'm gonna be particularly honest with you, when I did wake up after what I'd thought my untimely death; I screamed. I screamed loudly. Reason bein'? I'd been shot in the chest and later sat myself next to a bomb. It went off and I died. Or rather, I was damn sure I did. So, when my eyes opened to clear as blue sky, I screamed at the top of my lungs. My chest didn't hurt no more than it had before I was shot down. And I certainly didn't feel like I suffered through any explosion. I was confused, I was surprised, but most of all... I was excited. After my shout-out to the Heavens above, when I did breathe in that fresh air, I was excited beyond all belief. I was not only dead, but I'd made it to God's gates themselves!

Or, so I'd thought.

After my excitement ceased, it was then I noticed a severe lack of a clouded path. A lack of the golden gates, a lack of Angel's heavenly voices, a lack of... well, anything from what my days in Church had taught me. Now, I wasn't a strong Christian man, far from it to tell ya the truth, but I'd always had a certain expectation for Heaven. And this, certainly did not fit that bill.

I had noticed I was beneath a tree, an apple tree to be exact, and that the birds that were once nested there flew away in fear. I didn't care though, I was busy basking in the shadow of the tree's branches, I was alive! "Yeehaw!" Escaped my lips before I knew what I was going to actually say, my body was acting out on its own. I did a little jig and could very well call myself the happiest person in the world right now. "Ah've  done an' made good with the big man himself!"

My belt jingled, the stun grenades I still had were rattling against each other as I shook my body in an untroubled trance. I could hear my hooves clattering against the dirt, the poncho that lay beneath my neck flowing in the wind. I made to move out of under the tree's immense shadow, my stetson's own keeping the bright sunny day out of my eyes. It was the first step out of under the tree I noticed something wrong. Very wrong.

It was at this sound, this unique feeling, that my pupils shrunk, my very being seemingly froze in place. As I glanced down, all of the joy I had previously felt left me and instead I was filled with fright. H-hooves? I had to think slowly, my mind shutting down almost in the process. My hooves clattered against the dirt... Again, my body acted on its own accord and I found myself reeled back in under the tree, my rear-end smacking against its cold bark. "What in tarnation..." I barely let out, trying to back away from these newfound limbs. Tentatively, I rose my new forehooves to inspect them, my eyes wide and weary for only a second.

My jaw dropped.

"No-no, this can' be? Ah'm-" I felt my voice stop halfway out of my muzzle, my rear end lowering itself down the tree's length as I sat upon my haunches once more. Thoughts raced in and out of my head as I glanced up at the sky and back down to my hooves, hoping that it was merely a trick of the eye. This has t'be some kinda... this is some kinda tom-foolery! Winston's prol'lly gone an' put me under, Ah'm pro'lly lyin' back in one o' his machines again! In my panic induced brain, that was all I could think to reason with myself. Suddenly I cracked a large grin and a slow, dry chuckle escaped my throat. "Monkey man, ya'll can take me out now, y'hear?!" I shout upwards, my eyes looking at the bottom side of the tree's leaves and branches and such.

My hopes of this being some sort of simulation were dashed as I received no response at any given time. My comm device sat lazily in my ear, practically useless now. I was left alone in silence, no voices but my own. I lowered my head back down to my newfound hooves, bringing them up to my face for a closer look. Doing so, I nearly lost my balance, but I heeded no mind. My now hooves were wearing what I'd worn before I'd sat through that horrid explosion. My right hoof was gloved, matching leather from what I'd worn on my hand of the same limb. And my left... still machine and metal. "Ah... Ah'm a horse?" I had to rotate both hooves in order to fully grasp (at the time) the situation. But I didn't exactly accept it. I threw both hooves back downward, dirt moving away from them as they planted into the ground. Through clenched teeth, I nearly screamed. "No! Ah'm not gonna believe this, Winston! Git me outta here, this ain't funny no more! S'bad enough ya had me lose mah team-" I growled out, upwards into the sky. "But t'turn me into a God-damned horse?!"

And I was greeted with continued silence. I began to slowly panic, I could feel my horse ears begin to splay at the sides of my hat which only added to my fright-hype. I pulled my head back quickly, a loud thunk sounding as I cracked my skull against the bark of the tree. I grunted as I felt my stetson throw itself off of my head and onto the ground. "Winston, damn it! Git me outta here, shut it off already!" With each shout, the more my eyes began to sting with the familiar tingle of tears. I'd begun to cry.

"Shut it off, damn you! Please-!"

My voice caught in my throat, my brown mane landing in my face as I heard something off in the distance. Somehow, I felt my horse ear turn in the direction of the sound, as if to amplify it. "Well, howdy doo, Miss Twilight!" A voice, another person's voice! I nearly couldn't believe it, but it was enough, a glimmer of hope that maybe this was all a messed up experiment.

I wiped at my eyes with my gloved hoof as I struggled to get up on my new legs, the four of them feeling like a jumbled mess as I tried to stand like I did when I was a child. Maybe, just maybe, these folks (wherever I am) would help and turn a kind eye. Lord knows I needed it. I tilted my head to my hat, and seeing as how it's part of who I am, knew I couldn't leave it behind. "We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!" Good, because I know I could use one right about now.

With a struggled grunt, I tried using my two front hooves to pick up my hat, I had to lean against the bark of the tree to keep my balance. How would people react to a talking horse? I couldn't help but wonder as I kept glancing back to where I heard the voice. With Winston bein' a talkin' ape an' all... shouldn't be too-come on damn you!I turned my lips into a snarl as I continued to try and pick up my hat, why was this so hard? I could do it with hands-

I stopped myself on that thought with an annoyed sigh. Hooves. I have hooves now. Be it by my Maker or by Winston's damn dirty machine. Either or, I was intent on picking up my God-damned hat and placin' it atop my God-damned head! With a final growl of frustration, it felt like I'd somehow managed a grip on the article of clothing and I'd felt like I'd just won the lottery! It was when I moved to place it on my head-

I dropped the damned thing. "Sonovabitch!"

I'd made several grabs at my stetson, it was the at the fourth I'd managed to get hold of it with both hooves. With a lazy dust off with the front of my leg, I made to place it on my head. A light "feh" made its way from my mouth as I felt my ears pass through the two slits that were cut into it. Figures the monkey would mess with my attire as well, couldn't leave well enough alone could he? I shook my newly topped head and turned to where I'd last heard the female's voice.

For once spending time to look at my surroundings as I started to walk, I've begun to notice there were more than just the one apple tree I was perched under. My eyes glazed over with curiosity as I looked about, why on earth would there be so many Apple Trees all lined up? Maybe Ah'm on an apple farm? I couldn't think of any random landscapes that just had apple tree after apple tree for no reason. Blinking, now on the thought of a farm owning all of these trees, I nearly stumbled on my own hooves. Who in one's right mind would need this many apples? My hooves slowed their pace and I gave a dejected sigh. "Ah, who am Ah kiddin'. Ah'm not in mah right mind either. Ah'm either dreamin' Ah'm a stupid horse or..." With a shudder, I stop speaking. I'd rather not begin to believe I actually am a horse. "Winston... Ah swear on mah Lord an' Savior, if'n you even had a remote hand in this, why Ah'm gonna-" my voice halted itself as I'd just looked forward.

In front of my very muzzle, beyond many a tree, stood horses. A mass of horses of all colors possible danced in front of me. Not a single one stood out from another, n'less of course I counted the one purple horse with the horn, she'd looked mighty outta place. I was left awestruck, more shocked, as thoughts continued their earlier assault on my mind. I was left unable to comprehend all forms of processing as I looked onward.

Ah need a cigar. That was the only thought I could latch onto, my hoof beginning to absentmindedly hover over the belt that held my box of Spice. There was an orange mare, from what I was assuming, that stood next to the horned horse. She looked like she was pointing to others and saying their names, her mouth moving in a way that resembled how I'd usually speak. As she'd stop for just a second, I noticed a horse like her would pop out of nowhere and place a dish on top of the table that sat in front of the two. My ear twitched, as did my eye as I looked on. "Jesse Marston McCree, jus' what have ya'll gone and landed yerself in." My ear twitched again as I mumbled to myself. Maybe... maybe they're highly trained multi-colored horses? That could communicate an' such with each other... an' lay out platters... aw Hell. Who am Ah kiddin'? I've either lost it officially, or this is mah own personal Hell. A sigh escaped me and I found myself sitting on the grass I'd just stood upon, my eyes still lingering on the large group in front of me.

My mind raced and I thought what could Ah do? I was stuck God knows where as a horse and there were other sentient ones standing a good many yards in front of me. Where were the people? Where was Overwatch? Where was I? I tipped my stetson down the bridge of my muzzle in thought, only to look back up as the orange mare wearing a similar stetson glanced around, confused. From what it looked like, she gone and named off some of the other horses, maybe one of them didn't show. What could I know though, I only just got here-

"Ya'll don't look like an Apple." A deep southern voice sounded behind me, the hairs on the back of my neck suddenly standing at attention. I turned my head around and saw the biggest horse I ever did see since I got here (Which wasn't too long ago, so maybe I should've expected to see bigger). His deep red barrel loomed over me a good foot and I had to suppress a gulp. His eyes weren't stern, only inquisitive as he looked down at me behind that oddly colored orange mane of his.

I stood up slowly, unbalanced, to try and match his height only to fall several inches short below him. He was massive. "Ah-Ah ain't no apple now. Y'hear? Ah'm... Ah'm a horse 'pparently." I stuttered out and as soon as I did, I began mentally berating myself. Why was I so scared of this stallion? Maybe it was because I had not a clue where I was. Maybe it was because he truly was intimidating, I did not know. Raising a hoof, I rose my buckled stetson again to meet his eye, and he stood emotionless.

Suddenly, scaring the Hell outta me, he burst out laughing. A snort escaping his nostrils as he shook his head. "Eeyup, Apple family humor runs in ya true. Good t'see ya cuz." He chuckled out to me, placing his ginormous forehoof across my back. Did he not see my cybernetic leg? Did he not see my armored plate? And why did he assume we were cousins? I was more confused than I was afraid moments ago.

"Don't know which branch ya fell from, but Ah'd assume yer from Golden Core's side a' the family, seein' yer facial hair an' all. He sure does love to grow them beards of his out, eeyup." The big red stallion kept talking. Odd, as I'd presumed he'd be more along the lines of being silent. When I didn't respond as fast as his liking, he looked down at me with that questionable gaze yet again.

"Did ya'll go an' join the army? Ah don't recognize the armor an' Ah certainly didn't know they did custom cosmetics fer yer suit." There we go, now he was starting to point out things, though... why has he not mentioned my arm yet? Or... rather, my foreleg? Was he afraid I'd get mad or something? Clearly, I myself did not have the mindset to be answering all of these questions, as I was still questioning my own sanity at the moment. "Well, ain't you a strong silent feller. Kinda like how Ah am. Ah think Applejack's gonna enjoy meetin' ya, eeyup." He droned on, me raising a brow just under my hat as he mentioned being a 'strong silent' fella.

With that final bit said, he starting walking, inadverdently pulling me along with him. As I was too shocked at the current events, I went along without resistance, there being too much going on at once. Just what mess did I land in?

"Hey, there ya are! And this here's Big Macintosh!" The orange mare, now within my hearing limits, said loudly to the purple horned one. She turned to look up at the red stallion that stood next to me, but soon her eyes crossed over to my being, the look on her face contorting to confusion. "Just who the hay is he? Big Mac, ya'll said earlier we got everyone." She asked, the now mentioned Big Mac simply shaking his head in reply.

"Eenope! We had a straggler, looked more confused than Applebloom when she first got 'er her bow." He said, his voice croaking loudly over the mass of other horses. For some reason, the purple one kept starin' at me with a tilted head. I thought it strange, but I was too focused on who was talking so I just kept her in my peripherals

I barely saw it, but her eyes widened.

"Oh? That so, well now! Any family a' Big Mac's is a family o' mine!" My attention was drawn back to the orange mare as she snorted with a chuckle. "Ah'm Applejack, an' Ah'm guessin' ya'll already met Big Mac here. What's yer name, sugarcube?" She questioned me just like Big Mac had, and just as well, assumed we were family.

For whatever the reason, I couldn't form words as the mass group of horses stared at me with expectant eyes. Now, I never labelled myself as shy, but this was all new to me. Generally I had people running away instead of asking questions. With a quiet gulp, I looked around and noticed no one's eyes had left me, only adding to my unease of the situation. "Ah..." I barely let out with a grimace. The urge to lower the rim of my hat surfaced when Applejack had leaned in with a wide smile. "Mah name's Jesse." I finished with a near stutter, I could practically feel my cheeks heat up from under the attention I was getting.

I was talkin' to horses. Let that sink in a bit.

"Jesse, huh? That there's a strange name ya got, but hay! It's yer name, so Ah ain't judgin' an' so is nopony else here. Ain't that right!" She exclaimed in return with a mirthful laugh as she pulled her head back. Soon, all around us there was laughter at my being. Even Big Mac let out a chuckle, everypony was laughing at me. Everypony... except for the violet maned one who still stared slack-jawed at me.

All too suddenly, the world around me grew dizzy as I tried to comprehend the current events. This tough cowboy was starting to feel like one soft compadre as the world spinned. I didn't know what was going on, I found myself being spoken to by ponies for God's sake. I found myself talking to ponies. None of this makes a lick of sense to me, and I really fought to try and click these pieces together. Either I did die, this is my Hell, or I'm in some sorta contraption that Winston's torturing me over. But why did either of them have anything to do with talking ponies?! My eyes glanced all around me, everyone was now chittering softly with one another, a single set of eyes stared back. Though, with how distraught I was, I barely managed to look at the purple mare who stared with wide eyes.

She looked as shocked as I felt. And that's saying something.

"Welp, Jesse! Welcome to the family, we was just here introducin' everypony to Twilight and her lil' dragon, Spike!" Applejack drew my attention again, her green eyes looking between me and said Twilight. Before I really had a chance to respond or anything, Big Macintosh nudged me to the table, and because I really didn't want to cause any trouble (more so than I already felt I was in), I went along with it.

Twilight, the purple horned pony continued to stare at me with shock, her mouth dropped wide open. Was it something on my face? Probably was as I thought about it. I mean, I have a muzzle now for Christ sake!

My ears splayed against the rim of my stetson again, how I knew? I didn't, it was a weird feeling though, as if it were natural. I could only look at the filled table, every item that sat upon plates was apple based, you could tell by the smell. But, to be perfectly honest, I didn't feel like eatin', lest I throw it right back up. Out of the corner of my eye, Twilight leaned down and whispered something into her "dragon's" ear, the little purple thing that sat on her back. I could only make out bits, but it didn't sound anything good, that's for sure.

"It's him, Spike...  just below Nightmare Moon!" While I couldn't make sense of it, I turned my head to her direction regardless. Now, I wasn't fond of keepin' secrets away from people, and I certainly wasn't gonna let them slide by me now that I was a fuckin' horse.

"Now lil' lady, what'd ya'll say about me?" I questioned her, my tone flat as my drawl deepened. Her ears, like mine, splayed to the sides of her head as she gave a nervous chuckle. While I may be new and don't know anything about where I am.

I will not tolerate anyone keepin' anything from me. "Don't make me ask again-"

"Don't be so tissy, Jesse. She's jus' hunkerin' fer some food in her belly is all! You too, by the looks o' thangs." Applejack interrupted me from the side, a good-given smile on her face as she threw my questioning to the side. And surprisingly, just as she finished her sentence, my stomach growled. I would s'ppose it makes sense, seein' as how I hadn't eaten a thing since before my last mission.

Turning my head back to Twilight, I gave a soft glare. She looked down to her empty plate, a fear-stricken look crossing behind her eyes and the little dragon at her side glared back. "Yeah. Ah guess Ah am a hunkerin'." I mumbled off in response, facing downward to look at the newly placed platter sitting in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Twilight fidget nervously, and I clenched my teeth slightly behind pursed lips.

Twilight knew something about me, about my sudden appearance here in this pony world.

And I expected answers the questions I had.

"After this s'done, you an' me have a mighty important talk to git to Ah reckon."