It's High Moon

by Lack of Tact

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Drama, Alternate Universe, Adventure
Length: 7234

He's been killed for his sins, but reincarnated as something more. Now, as a pony with no idea as to where he is, Jesse McCree arrives in the small town of Ponyville during the Summer Sun Celebration.

[size=1.5em]Rated T for Teletubbies[/size]

[size=0.75em]This was my first 'Featured' story, and I am ultimately proud of that!
11/24/2016[/size]

Running a supposedly easy mission for Overwatch, the revived special operative branch, Jesse McCree dies. It's as simple as that really, the rest of his team is picked off one-by-one until he's all that's left. Now, being on a Payload mission, he's intent on finishing what they'd started, one way or another.

Now? He's waking up in an unknown location with four hooves, a prophecy revolving around his sudden appearance and an anger that's growing inside of him.

And all he wanted to do was go Upstairs.

The reason behind my slow updates is because I'm generally busy, and writing is a hobby I do enjoy. Maybe if I get fired I'll totally start writing and producing things faster :rainbowlaugh:

'Sub' chapters are things I use to 'build the world'. Generally able to be skipped, the ones featured in this story are kind of, but less important than main chapters.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-25 13:47:38 UTC

Chapter 1: Chest Pains (Prologue)

Chest Pains (Prologue)

It was one of them Escort the Payload missions the O.W. hired me to do. It was the usual five other hired guns and me. Sometimes, I'd thought it strange that Mako, Fawkes, hell even Amy (Amélie, seein' as how I can't pronounce her God-given name) would sometimes join our "side" of the battle. But, that's the normal gist of things I s'ppose now. I'd say we'd gotten over the unpleasentries that came alongside working with Reaper's ring of villainous friends. 'Sides, I tend t'think that Mako doesn't mind which side the big-pig is fightin' for. Just like me, I s'ppose we're jus' two feller's lookin' for some good coin.

This time 'round it was Route 66, an old hide-away for my used-to-be cohorts; The Deadlock Gang. I was dressed in my usual get-up that I wore from a time way back when I'd lost my arm. The now metallic limb that replaced it twitched in remembrance as I smirked, ashes from the cigar that was lit in my mouth tumbled down to the cold floor. I remember the day myself, the day I left the ol' crew. I tipped my belted hat, turning away from the empty wall. The red poncho I wore over the left side of my being was gettin' rather annoying, as it caught itself in my new arm, but I wore it out of sentimentality really. My old boss, my old friend was the man who'd given it to me... and taken my gamblin' limb in return. Tch, fair trade I guess.

As I turned away, the glimpse of a blonde angel befell me and I tried my best not to stare. Ziegler, the one person who'd never minded what I originally was, was glancing back and forth between this rag-tag group. It never ceased to amaze me really, the fact she always shared that damnable smile to everyone around her. Even the Ghost of Blackwatch got it from her. Personally, I'd never liked whenever she'd try and look in my eyes, my direction in general. I don't want my sinful past to infect her, nor anyone for the matter.

And I tried making up for it in the way I knew I could. By lettin' myself be hired by O.W., I was lettin' them guide my hand and my barrel in the direction they wanted to pull the trigger. I was their puppet, their weapon to use. I only let them do with me as they wanted; the ugly-mugged ape almost always sending me out with whatever group he so pleases, so that one day I might be a good man again.

That's what had led me here in the first place, Route 66. The "item" we just so happened to be escorting was some form of nuclear weapon. And we had to get it from Point A t'Point B, only problem I see with that? Let me reiterate on that, it's a God-forsaken Nuclear Weapon. Knowin' Reaper, he wanted his sickly, grubby hands on this thing for who-knows-what and wanted it badly enough to hire six other guns. We try and plant it, they try and relieve it from us.

Either way, some of us are going to die tonight. And I accepted that fact easily, one reason being? If I die doin' this, maybe I can be cleansed in the ways of battle, or whatever the giant tanking German was spoutin' about the other week. Maybe, if I die, I can be deemed good enough again to pass through the gates of Heaven and into God's mighty arms. Maybe I-

"Hey, McCree! Get a load of this, got a country-style mash up goin' just for you man." Lucio and his green amp weapon whatevers were blasting a form of sound, they alone wanted me to just rub my temples in annoyance. I'd never liked Lucio, not a racial dislike, no, just that he was rather annoying for my tastes. Always upbeat-

And before I could stop myself, I chuckled at my horrible pun. Lucio seemed to have taken it as appreciation for his disgusting new-age notes. "Aw-yeah, knew you'd like 'em man! Alright! Let's get it done, fellas!" He shouted out again, as he pressed a button on the side of his head-set, a visor rolling down over his eyes. It gleamed as he smirked back at me, a peace-sign thrown my way.

I could only grumble at the boy, surely, one of these days he would fall in this ongoing battle. And I'm going to be the one standing over him.

I blinked away that thought, my face contorting into a grimace. Sure, I've said I'd like to renew myself and free myself of these sins, but that doesn't mean they don't try and corrupt me again. It's just a fact. "Keep it to yerself, par'ner. Can't have the enemy knowin' we're here jus' yet." I growl back to him, my hand lowering to my side to unholster my beauty. My Peacekeeper. "Jus' got a couple minutes now 'till Winston arms the damned thing, then we can git on our merry way." My voice nearly croaked for some reason and one of my brows rose in confusion.

We were sending a Nuclear Weapon through a ghost-town, yet I had this itching feeling in the back of my head there was more to it than that. Usually we were flanked as soon as Winston finished armin' the bomb from wherever he sat on his gorilla ass. I knew somethin' similar was gonna happen as soon as we opened those doors, but I never voiced them thoughts. Instead, what had escaped my mouth was a large tuft of smoke that I'd inhaled from my glimmering cigar.

If I was gonna die, be it my smokin' habits that kill me.

A deeper, more constricted voice sounded to my right; Mako's, otherwise known as Roadhog, as he stood alone. His usually boisterous buddy wasn't seen next to him. "McCree. You take point." He grunted out his order to me, his black-soulless gas-mask gazing into my very being. I felt no need to complain, me generally being the one who goes up front anyhow.

My stetson still lowered, it looked as if I was glaring back at the bigger man as I turned my head to face his. With a single nod, I puff out another ploom of smoke. "You git my back, par'ner. I got yer front." And like that, I was facing the front of the group, the very doors we had yet to force open.

We didn't have to wait long.

A sort of static buzzed in each one o' our ears, mine being dulled out by the past sprays of bullets that had found themselves too close to my skull for my liking. "Listen up, Alpha. The timer is set to detonate in T-Minus Ten, the bomb itself is planted in an unsuspecting Limousine. It should be enough of a disguise so much so that Blackwatch and its troups shouldn't interfere for most of the time that bomb remains active. However, as soon as we breach their final wall, be prepared for a firefight." The very talkative ape's voice sounded in my ears. I could only shake my head as I turned to look back at the group.

"A'right gang, ya'll heard the monkey. Keep it calm an' steady until we hit their BOP." I said, barely catching Angela's gaze. The darker looking female that stood to her right, clad naught but in skin-tight purple leather, was giving me a look as well. Amy.

"And vat are our orders, monsieur?" Her expressionless face questioned me, the large rifle she had in her arms hung lowly as if she were bored.

"Git the job done. Simple as that." I wasn't in the mood for whatever the reason may be and I just wanted to get this over with. Hopefully, if tactical use (or whatever the word is) is brought upon us correctly, we might survive this little excursion. With that little thought in mind, I rose my boot-clad leg and kicked the door open.

Later

Just like Winston said, we saw no trouble escorting this planted vehicle. We passed the sights with ease and the tenseness of the situation drifted away over time. Now, however, with grim looks upon our faces, we stood before the large metallic wall that held the secrets of Blackwatch's impromptu base. I didn't know why, but the feeling of dread washed over me again like it had at the beginning of this lil' mission. Something wasn't right, yes, I know Winston had said there shouldn't be any resistance here, but it was never this quiet on similar escort missions.

I smelled the makings of a trap, but no one else seemed to have noticed. With a shake in my nerves, I turned back to the group again. Angela, Lucio, Amy, Mako and Hanzo (who had been silent all until this point) looked at me with expectations. What did they want me to say, I couldn't reckon I know. Surely, they don't want words of encouragement, mine at the time being only we might die. So why were they looking at me? With a sigh I didn't know was coming, I tilted my the edge of my hat upwards and glanced around them. "Look ya'll. Usually, Ah don't expect missions t'go like this. Bein' damn near battleborn an' all, I thought we might come across some kinda enemy line. With that said, Ah ain't expectin' it t'be silent in there either." I approached the side of the black vehicle and planted a hand on the hood. I was never good with encouraging people, but if that's what they wanted, I'll try my damn best. "But, that shouldn't deter us. The inside is all but unknown and could easily be booby trapped, but Ah trust none of us are gonna get too badly harmed." I was very bad at encouraging folks.

Lucio snickered at my attempt of a motivation speech and gave a nod. Boy, he really irked me, but I never let him know that. "Good one, boss man. It's like saying 'hope ya don't die!' but in a more friendly manner!" He threw his response at me; and like that, I lowered my stetson back down to cover the upper half of my face.

I wouldn't say he is, but if he were, he'd be the main reason why I still smoked.

Suddenly our ear-pieces picked up again, Winston's barely garbled voice sounded over them. "Alright, it's going to open in approximately 30 seconds, 25 seconds." He stopped speaking and I gave a frown, the butt of my cigar slowly becoming the only remaining bit. With that, I spat it out and turned away from the group who looked more-or-less inspired.

"Do not worry, Jesse. I had thought your speech was very motivational!" Came from behind me, the foreign source being none other than Angela. I simply grumbled and ticked the seconds off of the clock, waiting for the large sliding wall to open. I had come to resent the offer Blackwatch had given me back in the day, but I was soon starting to resent working with O.W. as well. Not for the same reasons, no, but for their sake of becoming corrupt like I once was. The medical angel reminded me seemingly every day that was not the case, but I've never believed her.

And I never get the chance to either.

Finally, a large whirring sound blasted us from the front, the giant metal wall rising slowly. Trepedition came over me, a cloud of sand and dust came up from it as it moved and I took several steps back. Finally, as it rose high enough to where we could see to the other side, we were left in shock.

Before anyone could comment, I raised my revolver up, waiting for the possible ambush. But none came, the empty room that lay in front of us was just that; empty. There was no one stationed, no one guarding, no one shooting at us. It was simply just empty. I took the first few steps forward, ushering for the group to stay still if anything were to happen. Passing by the large metallic door, it still pulling upwards, I glanced around. There was no one. Turning back around to face my crew, I took off my stetson with my cybernetic limb and cast a worried gaze to them. "This doesn' seem right, ya'll." I mentioned, walking back to the payload.

Mako was the first to recover, the big baddy held his junk-weapon with both of his large hands tightly. "This spells ambush all over." He stated, a large grunt coming from the pit of his belly. I shook my head in his direction, agreeing with him.

Why were there no one here? Winston himself had said their resistance would be cooped up in this area, but there was no one. That alone worried me, the ever increasing amount of dread began to swell from my stomach to the rest of my body. Turning back to the empty, void of life, room I motioned for the group to follow again. The payload moving on its own, as Winston had earlier installed an automated system within it. "Keep on yer guard, weapons up, no distractions." I said quietly, making sure it was only the group that could hear me. With my free hand, first placing my hat back atop my head, I reached down to my belt and grabbed hold of one of my trusty stun-grenades.

I had a deeply instilled feeling I might need it.

With the group being behind me, I had no way of making sure they did as I'd ordered, but that thought didn't bother me none. I was too busy keeping my own wits in check to care. Even as we moved along the drawn path Winston had set us on, there was no one. Not a single living soul could be seen as us six guarded the rigged vehicle. Why? Surely, Blackwatch was aware of what we were doing. Surely they'd planned against this. Surely, they'd-

"We made it, holy cra-hap! No scratches, nothing, new record us!" Lucio shouted out, just as my foot clanked against the designated placement area. I nearly turned and screamed at him for drawing attention to us, but then I'd remembered.

We were alone.

Biting my cheek so hard, it drew blood, I brought my revolver holding arm to my brow and wiped it. The built up sweat of worry going away. We had, we had made it with no injuries. Why was this mission so easy? There were no traps, no ambushes, nothing. Almost as if it were God's way of saying you're good to go. But it wasn't that easy, nothing is ever that easy, why would it be now? While I still didn't trust the situation, I knew I couldn't help but feel proud that we'd done away with it so soon. Glancing through the window of the limousine, I'd noticed the timer read 2:34 left. It didn't feel like it'd been eight minutes of walking in silence, but it was apparently. I gave a dry chuckle, for once agreeing with the D.J.

I chuckled too soon.

A loud PANG! sounded off in the distance and clipped me directly in the chest, I went flying back into a smooth metal crate. "Aghh!" I shouted out, my revolver landing several feet away from me. My chest was on fire, the gang in front of me turned to wherever the bullet came from. I couldn't breathe, it was so hard to.

"Ambush!" Angela shouted out, turning her attention to me as she raised her healing rod. Quickly, she lept in my direction and was just about to start the usual healing process before-

PANG!

All I saw at that moment was red, the blonde woman looking down to see floods of the color dripping from her neck. Whoever shot at her and me had great aim as I only heard two shots fired. Angela looked down to me in shock, dropping her healing rod as she brought her hands up to her neck. "Angela!" A shout came from our right, Lucio being the one who screamed as he tried to drop behind the vehicle.

When did things go so wrong? Oh, right. The moment we let our guards down in a faux-victory. It was very soon, Angela's body dropped directly in front of mine and all I could do was sit back and watch. Her blood-coated hand reaching out as if I could save her. Why didn't I feel bad? Was it because she was going to meet her maker, as with I? I struggled to breathe, my eyelids feeling very heavy as blood poured from my newly-opened chest. "Don't worry, give me a second. I got this!" A panicked shout came from Lucio, and he got up and started sprinting to me.

A gleam out of the corner of my eye warned me, and I tried to raise my voice to tell him to get down, but all that came out was a bloody garble of nonsense.

PANG!

And soon, his body followed Angela's.

PANG! Hanzo dropped in his position.

PANG! Mako, a large flopping sound as his meaty flesh came in contact with the ground.

PANG! And like the rest, Amy, the Black Widow herself, fell.

Whoever was firing upon us had not missed a single shot, each landing at their targets with brutal accuracy. A voice sounded, buzzing in my ear as I struggled to look up. "McCree?! What's going on?! Your entire teams' heart rates flat-lined. What's going on down there?!" Winston shouting in my ear didn't stop me from bleeding out, I could only grumble as I wheezed. Why hadn't I died yet? Was this a cruel joke from God himself? Or was it the Devil who decided to pay me a visit today?

Finish the mission. Was my only thought as I lazily strolled my eyes to look through the limousine's window.

1:02.

"Winston... Ambush... Team killed..." I couldn't hear myself speak, it sounded like a I was mashing up potatos with whatever came from my mouth. I was sure Winston understood what I meant as I heard the great ape's footsteps through the comm-link we shared. I glanced, some form of newfound invigoration filling me, back at Angela's new corpse and gave a frown. I struggled to move, but I finally did so with much discomfort. Somehow, whoever had gunned us all down hadn't noticed me move. Probably assumed I was already dead and was congratulating themselves.

Slowly, but surely, I pulled myself to the vehicle's door, a line of blood following in my path as my chest continued to pour out the stuff. "Ya'll better have mah seat reserved up there, you bastards." I grumbled angrily at the heavens, pulling myself up with the handle of the car door. In doing so, I pulled it open as well, my gun-arm feeling very weak at the moment.

With one final grunt of pain, I was inside the set-to-blow vehicle. Looking over to the explosive sitting in the driver's seat, I caught sight of a small pass-key required number pad. I shook my head in minor annoyance, a heavy sigh leaving my body as I shut the door. Knowing full well I was going to die just now, I brought my cybernetic arm up to the keypad and pressed the keys in the order I was told if it came down to it. Which it did, as one could clearly see. 1762. Why it had been those numbers in particular, I had no idea and I was never going to find out. I heard muffled footsteps outside of the vehicle, but those were drowned away as an automated voice came from my left. I pulled my hat down and rested it upon my knees as it made way into my ears.

"Automated Self Destruct, T-Minus 5-"

I tried to keep my eyes open, they were struggling to keep me awake. Now, I knew there was only one thing to do. Quickly, ignoring my open chest-wound, I pulled from my belt a small box and produced a cigar.

"Automated Self Destruct, T-Minus 4-"

Pulled up my robotic arm and sparked up my new cigar, soon placing it in my mouth. A bloodied cough came very soon after, but I enjoyed the smoke none the less.

"Automated Self Destruct, T-Minus 3-"

With a large sigh and drag of smoke, I lowered my arm again, now training my eyes on the car's internal clock. It read a certain time and I gave an ironic chuckle.

"Automated Self Destruct, T-Minus 2-"

Feeling there was no better time to say it, the footsteps closing in nearer on my position, I propped open my mouth, a large tuft of smoke leaving my lips-

Automated Self Destruct, T-Minus 1-"

The door had just been pulled open again, a tall black man looking down at me with distaste, but his eyes soon glued themselves to the timer. His blackened eyes widened, looking back to me as I gave a smug look in return.

"It's hiiigh noon."

A blinding flash came up suddenly from my left, searing pain in the entirety of my body filled me. I knew I'd been about to die, but something happened. Something I'd never expected to happen. The pain I'd suddenly felt vanished immediately and I couldn't understand as to why. I'd just been killed-

But then I woke up.

Chapter 2: Welcome to the Family (Re-Written)

Welcome to the Family (Re-Writ)

I'm gonna be particularly honest with you, when I did wake up after what I'd thought my untimely death; I screamed. I screamed loudly. Reason bein'? I'd been shot in the chest and later sat myself next to a bomb. It went off and I died. Or rather, I was damn sure I did. So, when my eyes opened to clear as blue sky, I screamed at the top of my lungs. My chest didn't hurt no more than it had before I was shot down. And I certainly didn't feel like I suffered through any explosion. I was confused, I was surprised, but most of all... I was excited. After my shout-out to the Heavens above, when I did breathe in that fresh air, I was excited beyond all belief. I was not only dead, but I'd made it to God's gates themselves!

Or, so I'd thought.

After my excitement ceased, it was then I noticed a severe lack of a clouded path. A lack of the golden gates, a lack of Angel's heavenly voices, a lack of... well, anything from what my days in Church had taught me. Now, I wasn't a strong Christian man, far from it to tell ya the truth, but I'd always had a certain expectation for Heaven. And this, certainly did not fit that bill.

I had noticed I was beneath a tree, an apple tree to be exact, and that the birds that were once nested there flew away in fear. I didn't care though, I was busy basking in the shadow of the tree's branches, I was alive! "Yeehaw!" Escaped my lips before I knew what I was going to actually say, my body was acting out on its own. I did a little jig and could very well call myself the happiest person in the world right now. "Ah've  done an' made good with the big man himself!"

My belt jingled, the stun grenades I still had were rattling against each other as I shook my body in an untroubled trance. I could hear my hooves clattering against the dirt, the poncho that lay beneath my neck flowing in the wind. I made to move out of under the tree's immense shadow, my stetson's own keeping the bright sunny day out of my eyes. It was the first step out of under the tree I noticed something wrong. Very wrong.

It was at this sound, this unique feeling, that my pupils shrunk, my very being seemingly froze in place. As I glanced down, all of the joy I had previously felt left me and instead I was filled with fright. H-hooves? I had to think slowly, my mind shutting down almost in the process. My hooves clattered against the dirt... Again, my body acted on its own accord and I found myself reeled back in under the tree, my rear-end smacking against its cold bark. "What in tarnation..." I barely let out, trying to back away from these newfound limbs. Tentatively, I rose my new forehooves to inspect them, my eyes wide and weary for only a second.

My jaw dropped.

"No-no, this can' be? Ah'm-" I felt my voice stop halfway out of my muzzle, my rear end lowering itself down the tree's length as I sat upon my haunches once more. Thoughts raced in and out of my head as I glanced up at the sky and back down to my hooves, hoping that it was merely a trick of the eye. This has t'be some kinda... this is some kinda tom-foolery! Winston's prol'lly gone an' put me under, Ah'm pro'lly lyin' back in one o' his machines again! In my panic induced brain, that was all I could think to reason with myself. Suddenly I cracked a large grin and a slow, dry chuckle escaped my throat. "Monkey man, ya'll can take me out now, y'hear?!" I shout upwards, my eyes looking at the bottom side of the tree's leaves and branches and such.

My hopes of this being some sort of simulation were dashed as I received no response at any given time. My comm device sat lazily in my ear, practically useless now. I was left alone in silence, no voices but my own. I lowered my head back down to my newfound hooves, bringing them up to my face for a closer look. Doing so, I nearly lost my balance, but I heeded no mind. My now hooves were wearing what I'd worn before I'd sat through that horrid explosion. My right hoof was gloved, matching leather from what I'd worn on my hand of the same limb. And my left... still machine and metal. "Ah... Ah'm a horse?" I had to rotate both hooves in order to fully grasp (at the time) the situation. But I didn't exactly accept it. I threw both hooves back downward, dirt moving away from them as they planted into the ground. Through clenched teeth, I nearly screamed. "No! Ah'm not gonna believe this, Winston! Git me outta here, this ain't funny no more! S'bad enough ya had me lose mah team-" I growled out, upwards into the sky. "But t'turn me into a God-damned horse?!"

And I was greeted with continued silence. I began to slowly panic, I could feel my horse ears begin to splay at the sides of my hat which only added to my fright-hype. I pulled my head back quickly, a loud thunk sounding as I cracked my skull against the bark of the tree. I grunted as I felt my stetson throw itself off of my head and onto the ground. "Winston, damn it! Git me outta here, shut it off already!" With each shout, the more my eyes began to sting with the familiar tingle of tears. I'd begun to cry.

"Shut it off, damn you! Please-!"

My voice caught in my throat, my brown mane landing in my face as I heard something off in the distance. Somehow, I felt my horse ear turn in the direction of the sound, as if to amplify it. "Well, howdy doo, Miss Twilight!" A voice, another person's voice! I nearly couldn't believe it, but it was enough, a glimmer of hope that maybe this was all a messed up experiment.

I wiped at my eyes with my gloved hoof as I struggled to get up on my new legs, the four of them feeling like a jumbled mess as I tried to stand like I did when I was a child. Maybe, just maybe, these folks (wherever I am) would help and turn a kind eye. Lord knows I needed it. I tilted my head to my hat, and seeing as how it's part of who I am, knew I couldn't leave it behind. "We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin' new friends!" Good, because I know I could use one right about now.

With a struggled grunt, I tried using my two front hooves to pick up my hat, I had to lean against the bark of the tree to keep my balance. How would people react to a talking horse? I couldn't help but wonder as I kept glancing back to where I heard the voice. With Winston bein' a talkin' ape an' all... shouldn't be too-come on damn you!I turned my lips into a snarl as I continued to try and pick up my hat, why was this so hard? I could do it with hands-

I stopped myself on that thought with an annoyed sigh. Hooves. I have hooves now. Be it by my Maker or by Winston's damn dirty machine. Either or, I was intent on picking up my God-damned hat and placin' it atop my God-damned head! With a final growl of frustration, it felt like I'd somehow managed a grip on the article of clothing and I'd felt like I'd just won the lottery! It was when I moved to place it on my head-

I dropped the damned thing. "Sonovabitch!"

I'd made several grabs at my stetson, it was the at the fourth I'd managed to get hold of it with both hooves. With a lazy dust off with the front of my leg, I made to place it on my head. A light "feh" made its way from my mouth as I felt my ears pass through the two slits that were cut into it. Figures the monkey would mess with my attire as well, couldn't leave well enough alone could he? I shook my newly topped head and turned to where I'd last heard the female's voice.

For once spending time to look at my surroundings as I started to walk, I've begun to notice there were more than just the one apple tree I was perched under. My eyes glazed over with curiosity as I looked about, why on earth would there be so many Apple Trees all lined up? Maybe Ah'm on an apple farm? I couldn't think of any random landscapes that just had apple tree after apple tree for no reason. Blinking, now on the thought of a farm owning all of these trees, I nearly stumbled on my own hooves. Who in one's right mind would need this many apples? My hooves slowed their pace and I gave a dejected sigh. "Ah, who am Ah kiddin'. Ah'm not in mah right mind either. Ah'm either dreamin' Ah'm a stupid horse or..." With a shudder, I stop speaking. I'd rather not begin to believe I actually am a horse. "Winston... Ah swear on mah Lord an' Savior, if'n you even had a remote hand in this, why Ah'm gonna-" my voice halted itself as I'd just looked forward.

In front of my very muzzle, beyond many a tree, stood horses. A mass of horses of all colors possible danced in front of me. Not a single one stood out from another, n'less of course I counted the one purple horse with the horn, she'd looked mighty outta place. I was left awestruck, more shocked, as thoughts continued their earlier assault on my mind. I was left unable to comprehend all forms of processing as I looked onward.

Ah need a cigar. That was the only thought I could latch onto, my hoof beginning to absentmindedly hover over the belt that held my box of Spice. There was an orange mare, from what I was assuming, that stood next to the horned horse. She looked like she was pointing to others and saying their names, her mouth moving in a way that resembled how I'd usually speak. As she'd stop for just a second, I noticed a horse like her would pop out of nowhere and place a dish on top of the table that sat in front of the two. My ear twitched, as did my eye as I looked on. "Jesse Marston McCree, jus' what have ya'll gone and landed yerself in." My ear twitched again as I mumbled to myself. Maybe... maybe they're highly trained multi-colored horses? That could communicate an' such with each other... an' lay out platters... aw Hell. Who am Ah kiddin'? I've either lost it officially, or this is mah own personal Hell. A sigh escaped me and I found myself sitting on the grass I'd just stood upon, my eyes still lingering on the large group in front of me.

My mind raced and I thought what could Ah do? I was stuck God knows where as a horse and there were other sentient ones standing a good many yards in front of me. Where were the people? Where was Overwatch? Where was I? I tipped my stetson down the bridge of my muzzle in thought, only to look back up as the orange mare wearing a similar stetson glanced around, confused. From what it looked like, she gone and named off some of the other horses, maybe one of them didn't show. What could I know though, I only just got here-

"Ya'll don't look like an Apple." A deep southern voice sounded behind me, the hairs on the back of my neck suddenly standing at attention. I turned my head around and saw the biggest horse I ever did see since I got here (Which wasn't too long ago, so maybe I should've expected to see bigger). His deep red barrel loomed over me a good foot and I had to suppress a gulp. His eyes weren't stern, only inquisitive as he looked down at me behind that oddly colored orange mane of his.

I stood up slowly, unbalanced, to try and match his height only to fall several inches short below him. He was massive. "Ah-Ah ain't no apple now. Y'hear? Ah'm... Ah'm a horse 'pparently." I stuttered out and as soon as I did, I began mentally berating myself. Why was I so scared of this stallion? Maybe it was because I had not a clue where I was. Maybe it was because he truly was intimidating, I did not know. Raising a hoof, I rose my buckled stetson again to meet his eye, and he stood emotionless.

Suddenly, scaring the Hell outta me, he burst out laughing. A snort escaping his nostrils as he shook his head. "Eeyup, Apple family humor runs in ya true. Good t'see ya cuz." He chuckled out to me, placing his ginormous forehoof across my back. Did he not see my cybernetic leg? Did he not see my armored plate? And why did he assume we were cousins? I was more confused than I was afraid moments ago.

"Don't know which branch ya fell from, but Ah'd assume yer from Golden Core's side a' the family, seein' yer facial hair an' all. He sure does love to grow them beards of his out, eeyup." The big red stallion kept talking. Odd, as I'd presumed he'd be more along the lines of being silent. When I didn't respond as fast as his liking, he looked down at me with that questionable gaze yet again.

"Did ya'll go an' join the army? Ah don't recognize the armor an' Ah certainly didn't know they did custom cosmetics fer yer suit." There we go, now he was starting to point out things, though... why has he not mentioned my arm yet? Or... rather, my foreleg? Was he afraid I'd get mad or something? Clearly, I myself did not have the mindset to be answering all of these questions, as I was still questioning my own sanity at the moment. "Well, ain't you a strong silent feller. Kinda like how Ah am. Ah think Applejack's gonna enjoy meetin' ya, eeyup." He droned on, me raising a brow just under my hat as he mentioned being a 'strong silent' fella.

With that final bit said, he starting walking, inadverdently pulling me along with him. As I was too shocked at the current events, I went along without resistance, there being too much going on at once. Just what mess did I land in?

"Hey, there ya are! And this here's Big Macintosh!" The orange mare, now within my hearing limits, said loudly to the purple horned one. She turned to look up at the red stallion that stood next to me, but soon her eyes crossed over to my being, the look on her face contorting to confusion. "Just who the hay is he? Big Mac, ya'll said earlier we got everyone." She asked, the now mentioned Big Mac simply shaking his head in reply.

"Eenope! We had a straggler, looked more confused than Applebloom when she first got 'er her bow." He said, his voice croaking loudly over the mass of other horses. For some reason, the purple one kept starin' at me with a tilted head. I thought it strange, but I was too focused on who was talking so I just kept her in my peripherals

I barely saw it, but her eyes widened.

"Oh? That so, well now! Any family a' Big Mac's is a family o' mine!" My attention was drawn back to the orange mare as she snorted with a chuckle. "Ah'm Applejack, an' Ah'm guessin' ya'll already met Big Mac here. What's yer name, sugarcube?" She questioned me just like Big Mac had, and just as well, assumed we were family.

For whatever the reason, I couldn't form words as the mass group of horses stared at me with expectant eyes. Now, I never labelled myself as shy, but this was all new to me. Generally I had people running away instead of asking questions. With a quiet gulp, I looked around and noticed no one's eyes had left me, only adding to my unease of the situation. "Ah..." I barely let out with a grimace. The urge to lower the rim of my hat surfaced when Applejack had leaned in with a wide smile. "Mah name's Jesse." I finished with a near stutter, I could practically feel my cheeks heat up from under the attention I was getting.

I was talkin' to horses. Let that sink in a bit.

"Jesse, huh? That there's a strange name ya got, but hay! It's yer name, so Ah ain't judgin' an' so is nopony else here. Ain't that right!" She exclaimed in return with a mirthful laugh as she pulled her head back. Soon, all around us there was laughter at my being. Even Big Mac let out a chuckle, everypony was laughing at me. Everypony... except for the violet maned one who still stared slack-jawed at me.

All too suddenly, the world around me grew dizzy as I tried to comprehend the current events. This tough cowboy was starting to feel like one soft compadre as the world spinned. I didn't know what was going on, I found myself being spoken to by ponies for God's sake. I found myself talking to ponies. None of this makes a lick of sense to me, and I really fought to try and click these pieces together. Either I did die, this is my Hell, or I'm in some sorta contraption that Winston's torturing me over. But why did either of them have anything to do with talking ponies?! My eyes glanced all around me, everyone was now chittering softly with one another, a single set of eyes stared back. Though, with how distraught I was, I barely managed to look at the purple mare who stared with wide eyes.

She looked as shocked as I felt. And that's saying something.

"Welp, Jesse! Welcome to the family, we was just here introducin' everypony to Twilight and her lil' dragon, Spike!" Applejack drew my attention again, her green eyes looking between me and said Twilight. Before I really had a chance to respond or anything, Big Macintosh nudged me to the table, and because I really didn't want to cause any trouble (more so than I already felt I was in), I went along with it.

Twilight, the purple horned pony continued to stare at me with shock, her mouth dropped wide open. Was it something on my face? Probably was as I thought about it. I mean, I have a muzzle now for Christ sake!

My ears splayed against the rim of my stetson again, how I knew? I didn't, it was a weird feeling though, as if it were natural. I could only look at the filled table, every item that sat upon plates was apple based, you could tell by the smell. But, to be perfectly honest, I didn't feel like eatin', lest I throw it right back up. Out of the corner of my eye, Twilight leaned down and whispered something into her "dragon's" ear, the little purple thing that sat on her back. I could only make out bits, but it didn't sound anything good, that's for sure.

"It's him, Spike...  just below Nightmare Moon!" While I couldn't make sense of it, I turned my head to her direction regardless. Now, I wasn't fond of keepin' secrets away from people, and I certainly wasn't gonna let them slide by me now that I was a fuckin' horse.

"Now lil' lady, what'd ya'll say about me?" I questioned her, my tone flat as my drawl deepened. Her ears, like mine, splayed to the sides of her head as she gave a nervous chuckle. While I may be new and don't know anything about where I am.

I will not tolerate anyone keepin' anything from me. "Don't make me ask again-"

"Don't be so tissy, Jesse. She's jus' hunkerin' fer some food in her belly is all! You too, by the looks o' thangs." Applejack interrupted me from the side, a good-given smile on her face as she threw my questioning to the side. And surprisingly, just as she finished her sentence, my stomach growled. I would s'ppose it makes sense, seein' as how I hadn't eaten a thing since before my last mission.

Turning my head back to Twilight, I gave a soft glare. She looked down to her empty plate, a fear-stricken look crossing behind her eyes and the little dragon at her side glared back. "Yeah. Ah guess Ah am a hunkerin'." I mumbled off in response, facing downward to look at the newly placed platter sitting in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Twilight fidget nervously, and I clenched my teeth slightly behind pursed lips.

Twilight knew something about me, about my sudden appearance here in this pony world.

And I expected answers the questions I had.

"After this s'done, you an' me have a mighty important talk to git to Ah reckon."

Sub-Chapter 1: Sam Hill

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Special: Just Your Typical Christmas Story

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