There is an I in Generosity

by TundraStanza

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Rarity, Random, Human
Length: 28756

A guy becomes the Element of Generosity. I know. I'm not funny.

What starts off as my first lucid dream turns into a living nightmare. Everything I thought to know as common sense is thrown out the window. I am now in the body of the white unicorn known as Rarity. How did this happen? Why is this happening?
Of all the worst things that could happen this is… terrible. (I cannot and WILL not use her catchphrase lest I actually become Rarity and lose all sense of myself.)
---

A/N: I'm trying to veer away from self-insert. So if it sounds like this is actually coming from my perspective, it wasn't intentional.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is property of Hasbro studio.
This story is non-profit.
I'm not sure that this can be counted as a "Comedy" because in hindsight, it's not really that funny.

Edit: Well... after giving it a few re-reads and seeing the little bits of positive feedback, I've decided that I'll try to continue this again when I have time and inclination that overlap each other.

Published 2012-07-19 02:44:05 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-06 22:06:15 UTC

Ch. 1: I've never had a lucid dream before

Chapter 1: I've never had a lucid dream before

...

Darkness gave way to faded light. I blinked a couple times. Then, I shook my head in bewilderment.

Did I just space out there for a second? I thought to myself, That was weird. I had completely forgotten what I was doing before my alleged space out. My surroundings didn't look familiar either. The room I was in was mostly dark, save for the small light source shining from above me. I couldn't immediately tell if that was the sun or an incandescent light bulb.

I saw a sort of figure in front of me. It wasn't moving and it had an overly colored fabric covering most of it. The faceless head of the figure kind of reminded me of those pictures depicted as "slender pony". But the fabric was definitely the wrong color if that was the image this figure was going for. Tilting my head in slight confusion at the sight, I reached up a hand to verify this figure's physical existence.

That's when I saw an odd, white sleeve enter the corner of my vision. When I tried to move my hand, the sleeve moved in a sort of mimicry of the motion that I was trying to do. It was starting to annoy me.

Wait a minute, I thought, If this thing moves when I try to move my hand, does that mean it... is my hand? Absentmindedly, I set the "hand" down. This whole situation was weird. I didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Rarity!"

I turned my head to look for the voice. I could have sworn it was Claire Corlett I was hearing. When I did see the speaker, I saw an image that put things in perspective (at the time). It was an image of one of the fillies in a cartoon I always watched.

Sweetie Belle, I thought, Well, that explains it then. I'm dreaming. I've watched one too many episodes and now I'm seeing her in my dreams.

"Rarity, are you almost done?" asked the dream Sweetie Belle. I looked around the dream room in an attempt to find Rarity. Wherever she was, it was kind of rude that she wasn't answering the best Cutie Mark Crusader. Though, she didn't seem to be present. I guessed the dream was taking a few lines I had heard in the show, distorting them, and playing them back like a record player. I recalled an old explanation that dreams sometimes shuffle information like that.

"Rarity, answer me," whined dream Sweetie Belle. While she looked adorable doing that, I couldn't stand to watch a pony cry, even if it was a dream image. I decided to tell her the bad news that Rarity wasn't in the room.

"Sweetie Belle," said Rarity's voice. I looked around trying to figure out where Rarity was. It took me a second before I realized that the sound happened when I tried to say the name 'Sweetie Belle'. I coughed a little and noticed how similar it sounded to Tabitha St. Germain's British accent. I couldn't hold back a giggle. Rarity's voice tickled my throat in more ways than one.

"What's so funny, Rarity?" asked dream Sweetie Belle.

Huh, I thought, That's interesting. The dream's questions actually make sense based on my actions. Usually when I had dreams before, the events never made sense. But here, the person in my dream asked a question that made sense if another person was laughing at something that wasn't funny to anyone else.

Is this perhaps a lucid dream? I thought to myself, I've never had one of those before. I stood there a few seconds thinking before I realized that 'Rarity' had yet to answer the question.

"Erm, nothing," I managed to say with that pretty, Tabitha voice, "Don't worry about it."

"O...kay," dream Sweetie Belle slowly said while raising an eyebrow, "Anyway are you done yet?"

She must be talking about that dress, I thought as I looked back over to the wrongly colored 'slender pony'. Recalling the show, I figured it must actually be one of Rarity's mannequins she keeps in the shop. I wasn't a fashion expert myself, but the outfit looked pretty much done.

"Y-yes," I stammered slightly, "I believe I am."

"Great!" perked up dream Sweetie Belle instantly, "Now you can come play with me!" She ran over to the dream door at the back of the dream room.

"Come on!" she chirped happily.

Ah, why not? I thought, After all, tomorrow night will probably involve a different dream. I might not get another chance like this.

"Right," I confirmed out loud and started walking over to the dream door. As I came in front of that door, I was surprisingly stopped by a motion from dream Sweetie Belle's hoof.

"Uh, Rarity," she put forward, "Aren't you going to take off your work glasses?" I lifted my hand, er my dream hoof, and felt something just beneath my eyes. At the bottom of my vision, I could see a curved red lining. Those must have been the glasses that dream Sweetie Belle was asking about.

"O-of course," I stammered, "Silly me." I turned around and found a dream desk with enough space left to put Rarity's dream glasses on. But then a slight problem occurred to me.

I don't know how her magic works, I thought, and it would kind of look weird for a unicorn to use her hooves to put something as simple as this down. I decided to wing it (not literally) and closed my eyes ever so slightly. I imagined the dream glasses floating gently from my dream face over to the dream desk. To my good fortune, the imagination was a success and a pair of red glasses appeared on the desk. The red curves under my vision were also gone, meaning I did that right and didn't perform some weird summoning spell.

Then, I briefly wondered why it had mattered how I had set the glasses down. It was just a dream after all. I shook my head before turning back around to follow dream Sweetie Belle out the door.

"You promised I'd get to pick the activity today," she said in a sincere, pleased tone.

"I suppose I did," I confirmed not really knowing if 'Rarity' made that promise or not.

"So..." dream Sweetie Belle paused for a dramatic effect, "We're going mud diving!"

The 'mud diving' as dream Sweetie Belle had aptly named it involved exactly what it sounded like. That is to say, it involved her diving into the mud. Said mud splashed all over both of us and she was laughing like she was having the time of her life. I couldn't help laughing at this as well. Poor, dream Rarity was getting soaked by the wet dirt and I didn't care. Her laughter was music to my ears.

Dream Sweetie Belle insisted that I perform the diving part as well. That involved me climbing the same tree branch that she had just jumped from. I briefly wondered how I would go about climbing the tree with hooves. Then I remembered that this was a dream. I would either climb it easily on some unspoken force or fall through the tree to some strange dimension. I was relieved to experience the former.

Unfortunately, since this was a lucid dream, my subconscious mind reflected my conscious mind. My fear of heights in real life translated to a fear of heights as I stood on top of the dream tree branch. I bet I was shaking and shivering on my bed in the real world.

"Come on, Rarity!" called dream Sweetie Belle, "You can do it!" The kid's encouragement snapped me out of my fear-induced trance.

What am I afraid of? I asked myself, This is a dream. I can't die from falling from heights. Still, I ended up letting out Rarity's voice in a scream as my dream hooves left the branch. A splash and a brown wave confirmed my landing. I shook in place a bit before wiping dream mud out of my eyes. Dream Sweetie Belle looked at me with a smile before both of us broke out in laughter. I bet few other lucid dreamers could never say they had such a truly memorable experience with Sweetie Belle.

I was kind of worried when I had to get into the dream shower. Even though I didn't have a bed wetting problem anymore, there were those occasional times where water in my dreams indicated that the sheets were going to be covered with more than sweat in the morning. Though, the feeling of mud covering my body felt more prominent than the other worry. Contrary to sensible thought, I figured that dream Rarity would appreciate it if I kept her body clean and pretty. So, I got in and turned on the hot water.

After letting the pleasantly warm water sufficiently rinse off the dirt, I got out and grabbed a towel. It was fitting that it was a purple towel to dry off Rarity's purple mane. The dream bathroom's mirror wasn't covered in fog like a real mirror, so I could see Rarity's face easily. I half-expected the reflection to perform different expressions than I made. Then again, this was Rarity's image not Pinkie Pie's. I couldn't expect the dream to be too random.

Looking around, I found a hair brush that I assumed was Rarity's. Using a stray thought, I managed to surround the brush with a familiar, light blue aura that moved it in a manner fitting for proper use. In just a couple minutes, the mane in the reflection shined in its pretty, dark purple and practically glittered in the light. I took a moment to stare at her blue eyes in the mirror's reflection. They seemed so life-like for a dream.

Eventually, I left the dream bathroom and started heading up some stairs that I assumed led to Rarity's bedroom. It was strange how time made sense in this dream, moving forward at a continuous pace. It was much darker now than when the dream had started.

"Good night, Rarity!" called dream Sweetie Belle.

"Good night, Sweetie Belle," I replied using Rarity's voice gently. Before the filly ran up the stairs, I leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. I don't know what compelled me to do so, but she smiled at the gesture nonetheless. I took my time walking up the stairs, hardly giving a thought to how I was walking on all fours. I shrugged it off as dream logic.

Once I pushed open the bedroom door, I walked over and climbed in under the covers. Absentmindedly, I looked over and found a sleeping mask on Rarity's night stand. I mentally shrugged as if to say, "Why not?" Another stray thought along with another aura of blue floated the mask over my eyes as I laid my head against the dream pillow.

That was fun, I thought, I wish I could have lucid dreams like this more often. Though, I'd kind of like to dream through the eyes of Twilight or maybe even Fluttershy. I wonder why my subconscious put me in Rarity's place. Oh well. As my eyes shut in this dream, I began to mutter the lines from one of my favorite songs from the show.

"~I'll be the toast of the town, the girl on the go
I'm the type of pony everypony, everypony should know
I'll be the one to watch, the girl in the flow
I'm the type of pony everypony, everypony should know...~"

The next morning, I opened my eyes. At least, I thought I opened my eyes. Yet, something was blocking my vision. I reached up a hand to try and grab whatever cloth was in the way. I managed to move it slightly and light poured in the crack of space to blind me. Slowly, I opened my eyes again to readjust them to the light. Something was definitely wrong with what I was seeing.

I didn't recall having red blankets on my bed. I also distinctly remembered having a standard bed, not a canopy bed. The last time I checked, I didn't have a pony-shaped mannequin in my bedroom. Since when were my bedroom walls light purple?

At this point, my breathing was getting shallower. Nothing was as it should be. I reached up both of my hands to lift the cloth item that was still blocking some of my vision. In doing so, I saw appendages that were clearly not hands. They looked more like... well... those noodle things that kids swim with in the pool.

"What is...? But... huh?" I managed to say. But that wasn't my voice. It was Rarity's voice through and through.

"That wasn't a dream?" I asked aloud to no one.

In Tabitha St. Germain's British accent, I let out a scream.

Ch. 2: The Art of Distress

Chapter 2: The Art of Distress

"Ahhhhhh!" I yelled in the most ladylike fashion. I threw off the blanket and leaped off the bed. Frantically, I searched for any hint that this was a dream, a hallucination, or at least bad vision. I tried slapping myself in the head with my 'hand'. I tried rubbing my eyes. I even went as far as running straight into a wall. No matter what I tried, I wasn't waking up from existing in Rarity's room. I couldn't get rid of the white coat or the purple hair attached to me.

"This can't be real," I said on the verge of hyperventilating, "This can't be real!" But every time I said that, I heard Rarity's voice. I heard her stressed out tone. I could even hear her drama. All physical evidence was pointing to the contrary of what I was trying to convince myself. Breaths were getting shallower. Coherent thoughts were blessings that I didn't have.

A knock from the other side of the door was followed by a voice calling, "Rarity? Are you okay in there? I heard screaming." My heart was beating faster now. What would Sweetie Belle think if she found out a creature that didn't exist in Equestria had taken over her sister's body without any viable explanation as to how, why, or how to fix it? I had to get out. I think the walls were closing in and I wasn't even claustrophobic.

"Rarity?" asked the voice again as the latch on the door started to lift. I looked left. I looked right.

Hide! I thought Find a place to hide or run! Now! I turned around and started running for an opening. As long as it wasn't here, I was just fine with that. It kind of looked like a balcony, but I couldn't be bothered to be sure. I heard the door behind me opening all the way.

"Rarity?" the voice of Sweetie Belle called again. I put my 'hands' on the railing and took a leap of faith.

"Rarity!" shouted the voice behind me. I had to shock myself awake. Nothing conventional was working. This was the only answer. Impact with the ground was my only salvation right now.

My mind fogged over with blackness.

*Beep* *Beep*

I opened my eyes feeling as if I had a migraine. I raised a hand to hold it as I slowly collected my thoughts.

A heart monitor? Am I in a hospital? I internally asked, Did I go insane in the real world and actually try to kill myself? I groaned quietly in pain. I barely noticed how high-pitched that my groan sounded. I let my eyes wander what I presumed was a hospital room. It seemed like the right setup. I was in a simple bed in a simple room with simple sheets and simple curtains to divide the room between two potential patients. It was okay. Now I had some order to hold onto in my mind.

"At least that dream is over," I said before I realized what my voice sounded like.

"No," I said barely above a whisper. But there was no mistaking it. I still sounded like Tabitha St. Germain.

"No," I said again in that feminine, British accent. I looked down at my 'hands' only to see white, soft, and flexible limbs.

"No, no, no, no, no," I repeated starting to increase my volume. This couldn't be. I was still Rarity. But, that was in the dream, wasn't it? How could the shock not have woken me up?

Is it because I really am Rarity? I thought before shaking my head and closing my eyes, No! I can't be Rarity. This isn't possible! All the while, the heart monitor's beeping fluctuated between fast and slow rhythms.

I heard the door opening and opened my eyes to watch. In entered five of the main six characters of the show. Sweetie Belle walked in right behind them. I think my lower jaw fell a few inches.

"Rarity, oh my goodness! Are you all right?" softly exclaimed the shape I recognized as Fluttershy.

"What in the hay were you thinking jumping off the balcony like that?" asked the seven-colored flier I could identify as Rainbow Dash.

"Now, now, hold on, Rainbow," said the thick, southern accent of Applejack, "Give her some breathing room. She's probably confused right now."

Confused? I thought, More like downright flabbergasted! How the heck do you all exist?

"Yeah, she'd have to be really confused not to know that falling from a height of more than two stories really hurts," babbled the pink mess I knew to be Pinkie Pie. She then when on to some tangent about hurting skirts, skirt laces, and glazing cakes. I kind of droned her out after that.

"Rarity, what happened?" asked the unicorn with the highlighted mane. It sounded like Tara Strong so I could assume that was Twilight Sparkle.

"Why did you make that jump?" asked Sweetie Belle. Everything here was too real to be just a lucid dream. I didn't know if I was hallucinating or not, but I had to make some kind of response to what I was experiencing.

"Um... I... uh..." I stammered, not really sure what to say in this situation. What was I supposed to say, that I was a human from the planet Earth and that I've somehow been placed into the body of their friend Rarity for reasons even I didn't know? Yeah, that would go swimmingly. Heavy sarcasm emphasized on that last sentence.

"All right, all right. That's enough every pony," stated a new voice that was entering the room. The coloration of the newcomer looked like the one called Caramel, but this was a unicorn in a white coat.

"Miss Rarity is most likely suffering from head trauma right now," said Dr. Caramel(?), "She needs some more quiet rest to recover." The visitors hesitated a moment before slowly filing out of the room one by one. Then I realized that my chance to possibly explain my situation was fleeting.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, as the last pony was about to leave the room. I didn't like putting myself on the spot. At the same time, however, I felt that this was important.

"Could... Sweetie Belle... stay for just a little longer?" I asked delicately and almost muttered the last word. This seemed to catch the doctor by surprise.

"Well, I suppose I could oblige by the request of a patient," he finally conceded, "I'll let you have a few minutes." He stepped out and let the door shut behind him as the filly scampered over to my bedside.

"Sweetie Belle," I said slowly, trying to figure out how to put what I was about to say in the best light.

"Yeah, sis?" she chirped. To this, I sighed regretfully because I almost wished she was my sister. Then, in a Pinkie Pie-esque fashion, my words all tumbled out in a torrent.

"I'm not Rarity. I'm a person from another universe that somehow ended up in her body and I don't know how or why, but I really need to find a way home so that you can have the real Rarity back, but again I iterate that I don't know how to go about doing that." I had to breathe and pant quite rapidly after that because I forgot to take pauses between phrases. Well, I had unleashed the crap storm. It was only a matter of time before it hit a fan.

Sweetie Belle... laughed. That, I was not expecting. I had expected at least some form of confirmation or tears of anger and hatred. I was not expecting her to laugh.

"Oh ho, Rarity," she said in between smaller chuckles, "You had me worried when you fell. Thanks for helping me know you still have your sense of humor."

What? I thought.

"Well, I'll let you rest now. I'm already late for school," said Sweetie Belle as she headed for the door.

What?

"I'll come back and check on you later," she said, "I love you."

What?!

The door closed. I couldn't believe it. She thought I was joking. She didn't believe me.

My own sister didn't believe me, I thought before shaking my head at my own thought, Wait, my sister? No, she's Rarity's sister. But...

I felt tears being squeezed out of my eyes as I held up one of Rarity's hooves to her heart area.

Why does it hurt like my own family has just stung me?

Ch. 3: Refresh My Memory

Chapter 3: Refresh My Memory

I was released from the hospital on the morning of the next day.

I daresay that my reflection is more fabulous than the dream that wasn't a dream started, I thought as I passed one of the hanging mirrors.

I stopped in place as I realized what I had just thought.

Oh, no! I'm starting to think like her! This is bad. This is very, very bad. It might be THE. WORST. POSSIBLE, I stamped my white hoof to stop that thought before I could finish, No, no, no! I cannot be Rarity, not at all. I have to hang on to something that's me.

Offhand, I remembered a little practice that Katniss Everdeen used when her state of mind was on the verge of collapse. Start with simple truths and then work up to the more complex truths.

I am a male. I am a human. I am over twenty years old. My name is...

But where I had been able to easily fill one blank before, I suddenly found myself with an empty void.

My... my name is... my name... is... my name. What's my name?

Try as I might, I couldn't recall my own name. I knew my parents gave one. I remembered signing papers with it every day. So why was it so hard to conjure up now?

It's as if a wedge has formed between my cranial cells and the nerve impulses that retrieve that information.

My pace slowed a bit as I blinked at my most recent thought.

Okay, that was a bit verbose, I thought, If nothing else, it at least reminds me that my personality as a human was more like Twilight than it was like Rarity. I guess that's a plus.

With the scores of my thoughts good: 1, bad: a lot more, I finally found the exit which graciously slid itself open for me.

I can't solve this ordeal on my own, I decided as I walked, If Sweetie Belle won't believe me, than I must find some pony that will.

Again, I paused at the words in my most recent thought.

I really hope that my use of "some pony" is just a sign of me turning into a brony and not a sign of turning into Rarity.

The one that most ponies in the show went to when they had a problem, conundrum, or otherwise unanswerable question was Twilight Sparkle. It was only the most logical choice. When Princess Celestia was miles away up a mountain, the closest fountain of knowledge could be found in Ponyville's own librarian and master of magic. Even if she didn't have a direct solution, one could at least hope for a nudge in a general direction. Regardless if that first direction was right or not, it was a start.

Regardless if Equestria was a land of television or an author's playground, nothing was ever as easy as it sounded.

"Um, Rarity?" Case in point was the quiet voice that interrupted my quest for answers.

"Yes?" I replied. It may have been a bit too loud, because the familiar yellow and pink Pegasus let out an audible "eep" at my outburst.

"Um, I'm sorry," apologized Fluttershy, "I know you're just getting out of the hospital, but... um."

Oh sweet Celestia, Fluttershy knows I can't resist the adorable face, I thought before immediately berating myself, Wait, no. Fluttershy knows that Rarity can't let her down. She doesn't have a clue who I am.

But the pile of adorableness quickly dissolved any of my previous plans I had right then and there.

"Fluttershy, darling," I said involuntarily dressing up my words, "It's quite all right. Just tell me what it is."

"Um, well," she resumed, "Today is Friday and I was wondering if, um... you were still all right with our usual get together."

"Our usual get together?" I echoed before a flashback of an old episode came to my mind, "Oh! Yes, of course! The spa, correct?"

"But, um," continued Fluttershy, "If you need to reschedule that's okay, I mean if you need to." Anyone with half a brain could tell that she was hoping a rescheduling wasn't necessary. My journey to Twilight could wait for all the time in the world if Fluttershy would be happy.

"Nonsense," I insisted, "We can still make it today."

"Oh, that's wonderful," she perked up before immediately resuming her downward gaze, "I mean, as long as it's okay."

"Not another word," I interrupted, "I won't take no for an answer."

For Fluttershy's sake, I thought, I shall willingly play the role of Rarity for as long as needed.

Ahhh, I mentally sighed, It's like they're dissolving all my troubles away.

Timmy Turner knew what he was talking about. This exquisite treatment felt heavenly. Why had I never gone in for something like this before? Oh... right... I forgot... I never had enough money for this. It almost made me feel guilty for spending what wasn't really mine. I tried arguing internally that Rarity goes out for this sort of thing on a regular basis. Still, the pang of guilt leaned against my heart in the real Rarity's absence.

"See you next week?" asked the world champion of quietness.

"Of course," I answered automatically.

Now, which way is the library from here? I asked myself.

"Just take a right and go straight ahead until you see a giant tree with balconies and windows. You can't miss it."

"Oh, thank you," I said before halting with eyes wide open. I looked around and realized that the voice had come from absolutely no pony nearby.

"Okay, great," I muttered, "Now I'm hearing things."

Nevertheless, I followed the mystery voice's advice and followed the long, straight road. It was right. No pony could miss a tree that tall and out of place in the midst of houses.

It could really use some sprucing up, I thought on tangent, Maybe a bit of trimming and lace... gah! No! No detail clenching. Talk to Twilight and figure out how to get home.

I was becoming more like Rarity with each passing moment. I had to act fast. I had no idea how much time I had left before I could fix this... whatever this was.

It wasn't too hard using Rarity's magic again. Just think about something within an arm's length moving and it moves. Think about turning a door knob and it turns. The door opening happened automatically. This was going to be a really hard habit to break from when I got back to my own life, but them was the breaks.

"Hello!" I called almost in a singing tone, "Any pony home?"

"Rarity, come on in," replied a familiar voice in the poorly lit room, "We've been expecting you."

"We?" I echoed as I slowly walked inside, "As in more than just you, Twilight?"

The door suddenly slammed behind me in a vibrant magenta glow.

"Now!" yelled Twilight in the darkness. I couldn't see a thing, but I could certainly feel a bunch of different nudges.

"What's going on?" I asked, "What are you-? Ow! Don't touch there! What is the meaning of-? Ergh! That's too tight!"

A single lamp turned on and blinded me. When I was finally able to squint and look around, I could see that I was fastened tightly to a fold-up chair. Ropes bound all four of my hooves. Struggling only seemed to make the knots hold tighter.

"What in Equestria is going on here?" I asked. The six friends of Rarity stood around all staring with various degrees of emotion. Spike and Fluttershy looked apologetic. Applejack and Rainbow Dash held expressions of determination. Twilight Sparkle looked concerned yet serious. Pinkie Pie looked like she was having way too much fun with this. Yeah... I wasn't even going to try to understand her.

"Untie me this instant!" I demanded.

"Not until we're sure that you're not going to try offing yourself again!" retorted Rainbow flying in front of my face. She only backed away slightly as Twilight stepped forward.

"Rarity," said the librarian calmly, "I don't know what's going on in your mind right now, but I'm going to try and help sort it out."

As she came closer, her horn started to glow in a slightly paler glow than normal. I opened my eyes wide. I recognized that spell that she was about to cast.

I've already forgotten my name, I thought while starting to panic, I can't lose more of myself in a flood of Rarity's memories!

"Wait, Twilight!" I cried. But it was too late. Her horn was already touching my forehead. My sight was overrun by images of the past.

"How do I put this delicately?" I wondered before telling Spike outright, "You smell like a rotten apple core that's been wrapped in moldy hay and dipped in... dragon perspiration."

He seemed to float on some disturbing-looking hearts while staring at me. So I had to gently nudge him to get going.

---

"Is it..." said Applejack struggling to think of something, "a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shooting stars coming out of his eyes?

"...who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic, sparkling eggs?" I finished. There was an awkward pause.

"That's it!" exclaimed Twilight.

"It is?" Applejack and I said together.

"No," chuckled Twilight, "It's that." She pointed up to... a telescope. Really, a telescope? How would any pony guess that?

---

"Oh thank you, Rainbow Dash," I said safely in the grasp of two Pegasi, "You saved my life."

"Oh yeah," realized Rainbow, "I did that too. Ha! Best day EVER!"

---

"How about a medium amount of dirty, not too little, not too much, just right?" asked Spike.

"Deal!" said Sweetie Belle and I together.

---

I had to catch them. I could not let my precious creations go to waste. But they were falling to the floor so quickly and I was running out of limbs to hold all of them.

"Rarity!"

With a reluctant sigh, I gave in to the call of my friends. I tore my own masterpiece off and followed after them. I just barely heard that changeling laugh as we left the reception hall.

---

Twilight... with that mane-style...

I LOVED it!

I think Spikey-wikey appreciated it as well.

---

"I have to tell you something!" shouted Spike, "Just in case we don't make it. I've always really l-!"

I stopped him with my hoof before he could finish. I already knew and I couldn't help shedding a tear and a smile despite our rapid descent.

---

"Now," I said turning around, "How can I help you? Wah ha ha!"

Good heavens! Was that a rabies-ridden poodle trying to devour this pony's head?

"Oh my stars, darling!" I exclaimed, "Whatever happened to your coiffure?!"

"Oh, you mean my mane?" asked the newcomer, "It's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations and then I'll be out of your hair?"

"Out of my hair?" I echoed disbelievingly, "What about your hair?!"

This was a beautification emergency! Without waiting for a word of protest, I nudged her in the direction of my boutique.

"Wait!" she cried, "Where are we going? Help!"

---

"We've been B.F.F.s forever and we didn't even know it," I realized.

"Hey," said Fluttershy, "How about a song?" The rest of us agreed wholeheartedly, save for one filly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I hung there limply for a while. I didn't really register a certain magical force untying the knots and loosening my proximity with the chair. So many thoughts swam through my head. So many images, so many memories, so many of her memories.

I didn't know what to believe anymore. I knew these weren't my memories. I knew that. So why did they feel so... right?

"Rarity?" asked a voice. But the walls begun spinning at an angle that made me lose any sense of balance.

Strange, I've never been able to faint on command before, was my last thought before darkness took my vision away.

Ch. 4: Intro of Darkness, Then Redness, Then Whiteness

Chapter 4: Intro of Darkness, Then Redness, Then Whiteness

Darkness gave way to redness which then gave way to whiteness. It was like watching one of Tobuscus' unscripted videos. Only what I was watching didn't have his humorous commentary to go with it.

Ugh, what a nightmare, I thought while rubbing my eye, If that's the last lucid dream I ever have, it'll be too soon.

I stretched up my arms as I let out a quiet yawn.

"Oh good," said an equally quiet voice, "You're awake."

My eyes snapped open almost immediately. That had sounded way too similar to Andrea Libman's gentler voice. Slowly, I turned my head toward the source. I was met with the sight of two calming, teal eyes. But the sight of those eyes had the opposite effect on me.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I cried in the same high-pitched scream from my nightmare. I quickly threw of whatever covers restricted me to this reality. I had to get out of here. This wasn't who I was. But before I could reach my window of freedom, a surprisingly strong pair of hooves grabbed around me and slowed down my gallop considerably.

"Rarity!" softly exclaimed Fluttershy, "Please don't jump off the balcony and hit your head again."

Again? echoed my thoughts. Despite my moment of terror, I could somehow think coherently. I remembered how I had tried to end the nightmare the first time and how well that didn't go.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, I recalled one of Einstein's quotes, Attempting suicide didn't wake me up the first time. If I try doing it again, is that the same as admitting that I'm insane?

I sat down willingly. The gripper seemed to release her hold as she realized I was no longer trying to run.

And what better is being insane than being... her? continued my train of thought.

"Rarity?" piped in Fluttershy. I barely even noticed her walk around to face me directly. My vision started to blur and my eyes felt wet.

I fell to the floor lying down and started to bawl extremely loudly. I wasn't sure if it was Rarity's instinct or me that was doing the crying at that moment. I didn't care. I didn't care that my voice was an octave too high. I didn't care that I was in a mare's body. I just felt like crying. What was I supposed to do?

"Shh," whispered Fluttershy as she half-stroked, half-hugged me, "It's all right. Just let it all out."

"Well," I whimpered while somehow stopping my tears midstream, "if you say so. But it might be hard to take." I took a deep breath before letting the horse apples hit the fan.

"I'm not Rarity. I'm a human from an alternate Earth. I don't know how or why I'm in Rarity's body. I don't know where the real Rarity is. The longer I stay here, the more traits and quirks I pick up that are hers. And I don't have a clue how to get back home so that everything can be normal again."

Other than the two quick blinks Fluttershy gave me, the room was deadly silent for the next couple of seconds.

"Wow," she murmured, "I was not expecting that."

"Do you believe me?" I asked almost begging, "Please believe me. Please? Please, please, pleeeeeease!"

"I admit that it's difficult to swallow," started Fluttershy. I hung my head low in defeat. It was hopeless then.

"But I do trust you," she finished.

"You do?" I asked lifting my head.

"Of course," she replied with a smile, "After all, we're friends. Aren't we?" I felt my eyes water again, but this time out of the cup of hope rather than the fountain of despair.

"Thank you, Fluttershy," I told her, "Thank you."

"But, I'm not sure what I can do to help," she admitted, "I've never even heard of alternate dimensions let alone traveling between them."

"Then you've got to help me convince Twilight and the others," I decided, "Surely, she can figure something out. At the very least, she has the best contact with the Princess."

"All right," she agreed quietly, but firmly, "I'll go with you to Twilight."

"You're the best, Fluttershy," I complimented.

"Oh, it's nothing, really," insisted Fluttershy.

She's so cute when she's modest, I thought. On that note, we took the long way to the first floor: the stairs.

I felt really guilty putting off so many clients for one outing, but this was important. The sooner I got back home meant that the real Rarity could get back here and I could get back to my life chasing the cultured life.

...Wait, no. The sooner I could get back to working... in my... passion for... fashion?

This isn't good at all, I thought, I barely have any memory of my own life left. All I've got left for sure is that I am a human. That spell of Twilight's didn't help matters at all. Since when does she just rush in and magic everything into place?

...

Okay, maybe all the time, like that time she tried turning dear Opal into a dog just so she'd get along with Winona that one time.

I performed a double-take to my own thoughts.

I'm... fairly certain that never happened in the show. Oh, no. Did that spell give me Rarity's off screen memories too? I've got to hurry!

My brisk trot soon turned into a gallop as my worries began to rise again.

"Rarity, wait up!" called Fluttershy as loud as she could, which is to say not very loud at all.

"But I'm not Rarity!" I almost shouted back. But I quickly resorted to flatly saying, "I'm not Rarity," to avoid attracting unwanted stares.

I didn't even bother using magic this time and just punched the library door open with my front hoof. Or was it kick since a hoof is technically a type of foot? Oh, forget it!

"Twilight! Are you here?" I called.

"Oh!" exclaimed a certain baby dragon, "Ah-hem, hey there, Rarity." I noticed a couple books in his grasp fell to the floor as he stared at me. He slowly walked in my direction.

"Spikey, listen very closely," I reasonably demanded, "This is an absolute emergency and I need you to get Twilight as soon as possible. My entire existence may depend on it. Do you understand?"

I looked him in the eye. I couldn't be sure, but I could have sworn that my reflection in his eyes was surrounded by a vibrant magenta aura, white glitter, and red valentines.

"Oh, yeah," he breathed as if in a daze, "I'll gladly marry you, my sweet."

I did the pony equivalent of a face palm with a groan. Of course Spike would be too distracted by Rarity's beauty to know what she was saying.

"Never mind," I muttered as I headed up the stairs, "Twilight!"

"What, huh?" I heard Spike mumble as his daydream, romance fantasy ended.

"The probability for any event A is given by the squared length of the complex number called the 'probability amplitude'," read the completely oblivious unicorn.

"Twilight," I said.

"For the motion of the position of particle x, at time t, to x sub 2 at t sub 2," she continued without looking up, "the time sequence can be divided up into n plus 1 segments of fixed duration."

"Twilight!" I called a little louder. I actually levitated the book in a light blue glow hoping to also grab her attention.

"The path integral representation gives the quantum amplitude to go from point x to point y as an integral over all paths," she said. She was still looking at the same spot on her desk.

Good lord! I thought, What did she do? Memorize every single word of that book?

"TWILIGHT!" shouted a third voice. Both of us unicorns in the room jumped at the sudden speaker that I never would have expected to shout unless she was angry or something of that nature.

"Oh, I'm sorry," shrank Fluttershy on the top stair. Good grief, you could have given me a heart attack, girl!

...Kudos.

"Hey, girls," Twilight recovered her composure quite well before asking, "Can I help you?"

"You just might be able to," I answered with the sound of my pounding heart making me feel nervous.

Be that as it may, I let the horse apples hit the fan... again.

"I'm not actually Rarity. I'm just in her body. I don't know how or why. I'm a human from an alternate dimension, world, or something. The longer I stay here, I take in more and more of her personality traits as my own. I need your help to find a way for me to get back home so that you can have the real Rarity back." My attempt at calm, heavy breathing followed my long-winded speech. I say attempt because ragged breaths didn't sound very calm at all.

"Um... what?" asked Twilight with a confused look on her face.

Well, I have to give these ponies credit, I thought to myself, At least their responses are original.

"I'm... not... Rarity," I said between breaths. I admit that the sound of Tabitha St. Germain's voice wasn't exactly convincing. I was starting to have trouble believing the truth myself.

"So, what are you? Some type of magical parasitic organism?" asked Twilight.

"No," I said as I shook my head, "I'm a human."

"I find that ludicrous or at the very least impossible to believe," she responded, "Humans can't just spontaneously cross dimensions and swap minds with ponies."

"There's a first time for everything," pointed out Fluttershy before hiding her eyes behind her mane again.

"Quite right," I agreed with the quiet one, "After all, no pony had truly cast a spell to create such beautiful wings before that Flier's Competition, and you did on your first try."

There was a few seconds of awkward silence.

"If you're not Rarity," prompted Twilight, "How do you remember that?"

"I'm not blaming you, Twilight," I said, "But I think that memory spell you cast may have something to do with why I'm having trouble picking apart the pieces of what belongs to Rarity and what belongs to me."

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" she asked.

"Forgive me, darling, but I was a little too preoccupied by being forcibly tied to a chair," I said with a little more ice in my words than I had intended.

"Oh, right," Twilight said as her ears drooped, "That."

The awkward silence returned. But I decided to walk a little closer and fill that lack of noise.

"Twilight," I said while lifting her chin with a hoof, "I said it before. I don't blame you. At the time, you were thinking about your friend and didn't want her to throw her life away. That's an admirable quality and it shows that you are a good friend. Don't let any pony else tell you otherwise."

That seemed to be the right thing to say. She immediately perked up and smiled with a small nod.

"That said," I said while bringing my hoof back to the floor, "I would really appreciate some help in trying to find a way back home."

"That might be a bit more difficult," admitted Twilight, "None of my books ever talked about traveling between dimensions."

"But your future self knew how to travel back in time," I pointed out.

"Yes, but the space-time continuum is a completely different dimension than a cross-parallel universe, if it even exists," she explained.

"Oh," I said. This time, I felt my ears droop.

"But, I could send a letter to the Princess pertaining to your circumstance," she added.

The hopelessness I had felt slowly retreated as I said, "That would be wonderful. Thank you Twilight."

"No problem, Rarity," she replied, "Oh, er... I mean, uh..."

"Oh, just go ahead and call me 'Rarity'," I dismissed, "It's not like I remember my real name now."

"Won't that be a problem when you get back home?" asked Fluttershy.

"It shouldn't be," I negated, "Once I'm back, I'll just find my I.D. Then I should be able to start remembering the right things."

"Your... I.D.?" asked Twilight.

Really? They don't know what an I.D. is? I thought before shrugging off the obscurity.

"My identification," I clarified, "It's this little card I carried around on my world to prove to others that I am who I say I am."

"Oh, so it's like a business card!" said Twilight with a 'eureka' face.

Close enough, I thought.

"Sure, we'll go with that," I agreed.

"Still, won't it be kind of weird calling you 'Rarity' if you're not Rarity?" asked Fluttershy, "I mean, it's okay if you want to be called that. I was just thinking, you know?"

She did have a fair point. Being called 'Rarity' would only make it more difficult for me to remember that I wasn't her. But, what should I call myself? I didn't remember my name. Then, it hit me. A name from my past readings of fan written works just clicked in my mind. The perfect alias.

"For now," I said, "Call me Diamond Edge."

"Diamond Edge?" echoed Fluttershy.

"Yes," I said smiling at the idea, "That will do quite nicely."

"All right," decided Twilight, "I'll go get started on that letter."

A noisy grumbling sound interrupted our conversation. At the same time, a certain empty feeling made itself known inside me.

"Eh heh heh heh," I chuckled sheepishly.

"But first," said Twilight taking note of my stomach growling, "Why don't we get some lunch?"

"Sounds good to me," I admitted.

There wasn't a whole lot that happened at what felt like my first meal since waking up in Equestria. The restaurant was pretty generic, and Rarity's taste buds helped me keep down my order. Sure, I could talk about how my instinctual mannerisms slowed down my eating pace considerably. I could even go through the number of times I used the word 'lady'. But other than that, lunch was pretty uneventful.

"I hope Rarity's okay," muttered Fluttershy off hand. (hoof?)

"I know you said you didn't know where she was," said Twilight to me, "But do you have any possible ideas?"

"I have... one," I said with a bit of uncertainty.

It was only a theory, but if I was here, then the real Rarity was...

"Oh, no, no, no. This will not do at all. These colors are simply drab."

"How often has this dirty brute cleaned this place? There's a layer of dust everywhere!"

"Excuse me, good sir, please refrain from hitting me like that."

"Oh. It. Is. On! Take that you ruffian!"

"But guard, he assaulted me! It was an act of self-defense. Unshackle me, if you would be so kind."

"Why I never! The colors of this prison room are just so gray!"

"Whining? I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?"

"Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the. Worst. Possible. THING!"

"Please be overactive imagination," I muttered while looking down, "Please be overactive imagination."

"Huh?" Twilight looked at me with confusion.

I returned eye contact before shyly saying, "I... think the worst she'll have to worry about is my poor fashion sense." I added a few chuckles that wouldn't convince any pony that I was telling the whole story.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad," comforted Twilight.

Shirts of plain gray, brown, and yellow might not be enough for the fashionesta to work with, I thought in counter argument.

"Hey guys!" hollered a familiar Ashleigh Ball voice from above. Look to the sky, grasshopper, and you shall see the Rainbow. Look to the ground and you will find the Applejack of your eye.

"Howdy, Rarity," greeted Ashleigh Ball's other accent, "How are you doing today?"

"Yeah," added Rainbow Dash, "Are you past that 'jumping out of a window' phase?"

"Rainbow!" patronized Applejack.

"What?" retorted Rainbow, "It's a fair question."

"You're right, darling," I admitted, "It is a fair question and my answer is this; I will not be jumping from injurious heights anymore."

"Good!" approved Rainbow Dash with a nod, "See that you don't."

"Listen, sugarcube," said Applejack while rubbing the back of her neck, "Sorry about that whole hog-tying the other day. We were just worried about you."

"I understand," I assured her, "But, that leaves one more thing I need to talk to you about."

"What's that?" she asked.

I opened my mouth to draw in a deep breath, but a higher-pitched, hyper energetic, Andrea Libman-esque voice beat me to the punch. (kick?)

"She's not Rarity. She's a human from an alternate Earth. She's now in Rarity's body. But she doesn't know how or why. Now she's trying to find a way back home by asking the Princess. And until she does get home and remembers her name, she's going by Diamond Edge."

I think all five of us blinked in various degrees of confusion as Pinkie Pie hung suspended in midair. In the next second, though, she fell onto the table basically destroying what was left of the empty dishes. I racked up the levitation to her being Pinkie Pie, but one other thing was bothering me right then.

"How did you know what I was going to say?" I asked.

The Pinkazoid popped back up into a happy-faced, standing position as she replied, "Oh, I just read your facial expressions. I can usually tell what some pony's about to say just from that."

"You read my facial expressions?" I echoed with a confused look.

"Yes indeedy!" she said while still showing off those pearly whites.

Why do I keep questioning her? I asked myself, The correct answer is always "She's Pinkie Pie."

"Ooh! I just realized something!" she exclaimed, "You're like a new pony in Ponyville and you know what that means."

"Uh," I stammered. You'd be surprised how hard it is to think when Pinkie's got her face negative one millimeter away from yours. (Yes, it feels like one millimeter of Pinkie Pie's face is inside your own. The thought gave me chills later.)

"A party!" she shouted before zip-lining out of the setting.

"..." was the response from every pony left. I think a I heard a pin drop somewhere.

"That just happened," I stated the obvious.

"What in tarnation did that mean?" asked Applejack with an eyebrow raised.

"So, Diamond Edge, if you were in Rarity's body when you jumped," wondered Rainbow Dash, "Was your action an attempt at suicide or murder?"

Well, that was uncalled for, Rainbow. Still, it marginally beat my idea for an icebreaker. So in the spirit of generous fairness, I answered her.

"Celestia knows I don't know."

Ch. 5: What is Real?

Chapter 5: What is Real?

My name is Diamond Edge, I repeated inside my thoughts, At least, that's what it is for now.

This steady, mental exercise helped me to keep the small portion of my mind intact each new day. Rarity's memories were pretty to reminisce in, but I wasn't her. No matter how appealing, no matter how pleasant, and no matter how emotional the memories were, I could not let them overtake everything that I was. Deep breaths were definitely relieving during this long stay in this world.

If you had told me last month that I was going to end up switching bodies and locations with the bearer of Generosity, I would have looked at you like you were insane. But here I was, in the form of a white unicorn with a styled, purple mane and her three gems for a cutie mark. I was even in her dress shop, practically a landmark in Ponyville. It was the whole package that I didn't order.

Additionally, I was anticipating two upcoming events: the welcome to Ponyville party that I was certain that Pinkie Pie was going to host and word from Princess Celestia about my... 'dilemma'. Normally, I wasn't bothered by the future and I'd try living in today. Of course, what was normal anymore was kind of subjective. Nevertheless, I found myself feeling excessively anxious.

What will happen? I asked myself, Will Celestia have the answers that I'm searching for? Even if she does believe that I'm telling the truth, does she even have a feasible solution? Aren't I technically stealing the life of one of her subjects? What will she do? Sure, she's always been lenient with punishments in the show, but things like this never happened in the show. Oh, heavens! What if she didn't lose her banishing spell after all?

"Um, Rarity?" chirped Sweetie Belle, "Why are you wearing a hole in the ground?"

I stopped my train of internal questions and looked up. What did she mean by that...? Oh. I saw what she meant. Looking down and around my hooves, I saw it. It was a literal hole in the floor. Based on its shape, I could see the path that I had taken was a slightly squished 'infinity' symbol, the one represented by a sideways '8'.

"Huh," I exhaled, "When did I do that?"

"For the past thirty minutes," answered Sweetie, not fully grasping what a rhetorical question was.

For the time being, I decided to just go ahead and live the life of the pony who's body I now had. With her memories still swimming in my mind, it was practically instinctual to make dresses as wonderfully as she could. I could even remember exactly which client wanted what. I was sure Rarity would appreciate that some pony had kept things running the way she wanted them to if... when she returned. So it's no wonder my mouth moved before my brain when the entry bell rang.

"Welcome to Rarity's Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique," ran my high-class accent.

"You really need to stop doing that every time I come in here," responded a sort of grating country gal's accent. I opened up my eyes to see the farmer that got on my nerves.

Gets on my nerves? asked a voice somewhere inside my head, But Applejack is best pony. I didn't quite grasp that voice's meaning or how it could forget to use articles in a grammatically correct manner. I tried to ignore it for the time being.

"Oh. Hello, Applejack," I greeted, "What brings you by today?"

"Pinkie Pie wanted me to give you this," she answered straight to the point. She turned her head to reach into her saddlebags that I hadn't noticed before. Upon lifting her head back out, she was holding a pink envelope of sorts in her teeth. As she released it in front of me, I automatically reached out to it with my magic and floated it over to where I could see the envelope and its contents.

Oh, Applejack, I thought while absentmindedly skimming through Pinkie Pie's infectiously inviting words written cursively on the invitation, Why must you always be so straight to the point? Can't we ever just chat about trivial matters?

"And, uh," interrupted Applejack.

"Hm?" I looked up from the invitation. I was surprised to see Applejack using Fluttershy's facial expression to avoid eye contact.

"I..." she paused as she walked nearer to me. It was a bit uncomfortable watching her move her mouth up closer to where my ear was.

"I love you."

"Beg pardon?" I asked as my lips were suddenly occupied by another mouth. My whole body felt so hot all of a sudden. What was going on? I didn't understand what was happening. But my eyes slowly fluttered close as if I were in some half-sleep trance.

Great stars! Is that really how you feel? I thought with almost returned feelings.

"Your love is tasty," giggled a much more raspy voice.

My eyes snapped open and I pulled away from the kiss. What I had thought was Applejack was now a certain changeling queen with horrid black skin. Her evil green eyes gazed at me longingly and deviously.

"Chrysalis!" I choked out as my lungs had a sudden lack of breath.

"And I know the one you love more than any pony else," she cackled as green flames surrounded her. I tried to backpedal my hooves, but I couldn't move. I had somehow been glued to the spot. The flames around Chrysalis died and in her place stood the bane of my Element of Generosity. It was that... boulder.

I felt a tap on my shoulder as I heard a seductive male ask, "Don't you want to reacquaint yourself with him?"

I chanced a look behind me. I regretted that decision almost immediately. That abomination of biological existence Discord had just... tapped me.

Oh no, I worried with eyes wide open. As I looked at his paw, the part of my coat that he was touching started to fade a shade of gray.

"No... no..." I shook violently, but the draconequus wouldn't let go. I could actually feel my colors leaving me. It was burning and freezing all at once.

"Please... stop," I hoarsely voiced barely able to hear myself. It was no good. My colors faded to dark gray, almost as black as Nightmare Moon herself.

All the while, the laughter of John De Lancie, Tabitha St. Germain, and Kathleen Barr filled my ears. I could actually see myself falling down some bottomless pit. My body was becoming a shadow and my surroundings were becoming a green, spiky cavern. That horrid looking diamond followed me as if begging to crush me at whatever bottom this hole had.

I released a scream that my dry throat was holding back.

"Ahhhhhhh!" I yelled sitting up trying to pull myself out of the clutches of darkness. This proved futile, however, since my vision was still blocked by something. Although as I reached up, the clog was actually a piece of cloth. After a few seconds, I remembered that this was a sleeping mask.

After working with the thing and the sheets that were on top of me, I could see the sunlit room that I was residing in. I felt a bit sweaty and my breathing was fast and heavy.

That nightmare, I thought, It felt so real.

I heard the door creak in.

"Diamond Edge?" asked the filly on the other side, "Are you okay?"

"Diamond Edge?" I briefly looked confused before realizing, "Oh, right! That's who I am right now. Y-yes, Sweetie Belle, I'll be okay. It was just a bad dream. It's nothing you need to worry about."

"Well... all right," resigned Sweetie Belle, "I'll go get breakfast ready."

"Sounds lovely," I responded automatically as she headed downstairs. I was left to my own pondering.

What was that whole dream about anyway? I asked myself, Discord, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon? And what was that whole love triangle with Applejack and... that boulder? Brr! I don't think I'll be ready for that kind of mess for a long time.

It was about then that something surfaced back to my immediate attention. Sweetie Belle had gone downstairs to make breakfast. Sweetie Belle was going to make breakfast. Had I learned nothing from "Sisterhooves Social"?

"Wait! Sweetie Belle!" I yelled. I nearly tripped down the stairs as I galloped along. I could already hear the smoke detector blaring as I ran into the kitchen.

Well, as a silver lining, Sweetie Belle had only burned one side of the pancakes that she had prepared. They were at least somewhat edible in their condition. Though, I needed extra toothpaste to clear the black specks of burned crumbs that littered my otherwise spotless teeth. Still, if that was all the damage that had taken place in the kitchen, then I probably wasn't that bad off.

After I took a painstakingly long time to freshen up the appearance of Rarity's body to satisfactory conditions, I resumed the regular working day of the life I was borrowing. Part of that life required me to refill the stock of gems when the inventory was running low. I put on Rarity's saddlebags and started heading out when the door opened. The bell jingled as a certain friend walked in.

Deja vu, I thought to myself.

"Howdy, Diamond Edge," greeted Applejack.

"Uh, h-hi, Applejack," Rarity's voice shook as I spoke the words. I was starting to feel as nervous as Fluttershy normally feels.

"Hm?" hummed the farmer with a confused look, "Something wrong?"

"Well..." I hesitated. I wasn't sure if I should divulge the awkward familiarity of the scenario that I was in at that moment. Still, being an outsider to this world, the worry of being looked at as 'weird' was pretty easy to overcome. Though, I'm pretty sure my voice was still shaking.

"What I'm seeing now reminds me a lot about the dream I had last night," I admitted.

"Really?" inquired Applejack suddenly more interested, "What was so bad about it?"

"This is the part where that changeling and Discord threw me down a pit," I released the information. Sure, I had skimmed a few details, but that wasn't anything Applejack needed to concern herself with.

"Heh heh," she chuckled, "Well, don't you worry none. Shortly after we came back from Canterlot, Twilight set up some magical detection do-hickeys that'll be able to tell us if the changelings even try showing their ugly faces around here."

"That's... rather convenient," I commented. I was slightly suspicious of the whole thing, but I didn't feel like I had enough grounds to make an accusation of any pony right there. So instead, I watched silently as Applejack retrieved something from her saddlebags that I hadn't noticed before. It looked like an overly pink envelope. I opened the contents with a little magic. Turns out, the card inside was an invitation to Sugarcube Corner for a 'special surprise'.

Gee, I wonder what that could be, I thought sarcastically. Parties were one of the two constants regarding Pinkie Pie: parties and sugar.

"So, what's the plan for today?" asked a deeper woman's voice.

"Hm?" I responded before seeing an overgrown pony in front of me and I exclaimed, "Wah ha ha!"

"Is it too early for some... action?" asked the mare in the moon with her eyelids half opened. The room felt very hot to me at that moment. Nightmare Moon glided over towards me laughing evilly all the way. I wanted to run but my legs wouldn't let me. So there was only one course of practical action.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

I gasped as cucumbers fell off my eyes. I looked around the open area that encompassed my location. It took me a while to remember going in for the usual get-together with Fluttershy. She was in the mud bath over to my left. Looking down, I could see that I was also in a tub of mineral-rich mud. The slight lack of mobility I felt was due to the kelp wrap that the spa sisters had applied to me before.

I sighed from the exhaustion of my double-shot of bad dreams.

"Rarity?" murmured my quietest friend, "Oh, I mean Diamond Edge?"

"Yes, darling?" I responded automatically.

"Um, I was just wondering," she started, "Are you all right?"

"Why of course," I insisted, "I've never felt better."

"Oh, okay," she whispered back, "I just thought you were screaming a couple times so I..."

I don't know how I caught that last bit that Fluttershy said, but I could put context with the situation fairly easily.

"I suppose I may have dozed off a bit and I may have had a nightmare during that time," I admitted.

"Well, do you want to talk about it?" asked Fluttershy, "I mean you don't have to if you don't want to. I was just asking."

"It's fine, Fluttershy," I assured her, "I probably would feel better if I talked about it."

So, I started to convey the details regarding all parts of my dream. Certain details were vague, but I think I managed to give her the gist of what I had experienced. I don't remember when Fluttershy and I moved to standing on hot towels while wearing robes, but there we were. Not a trace of the mud was on either of us.

"Do you think that maybe you..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Do I think what?" I echoed. Again, my ears were met with an unidentifiable utterance.

"Come now, Fluttershy," I insisted, "I can't hear what you are trying to say."

She then rushed over her next words, "Do you have a crush on Applejack?" As soon as she had said it, she cringed in a look of regret.

"What?" I half-asked, half-chuckled, "Where on earth did that come from?"

"I'm sorry," she squeaked, "I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's fine for you to ask," I tried to console her, "I was just surprised that that was the question you'd ask first after all of the other things that happened."

"Well, it's just that," she started, "She seems to be a catalyst at the beginning of each part of your dream."

"Hm," I hummed thoughtfully. Fluttershy did have a point. Each part of my dream basically started rolling when Applejack came into the room giving me an invitation. But, dreams weren't an indicator of true love. They were filled with nonsense and random ideas. Every once in a while, they would predict future events for some ponies. But, a crush?

"Isn't that a bit of a stretch?" I wondered aloud, "I mean, a catalyst being an embodiment of affection?"

"What do you think about Applejack?" asked Fluttershy with a bit of seriousness that seemed dare I say out of character for the shy animal-lover.

"What do I think about Applejack?" I echoed, "Well, I think she's some pony that's dedicated to their work. She cares about her family. She always tries her best to be the most dependable and honest working pony she can be. She's a bit unsanitary at times, but it's usually for a good cause." Before I knew it, I had started rambling about the best pony.

"Yes, you know a lot about her," agreed Fluttershy, "But what do you think about her?"

"She's one of my best friends," I said with a flare of finality, "I have to wonder, why are you so interested in this line of discussion, darling?"

I never got Fluttershy's answer. When I looked over to where she was standing a minute ago, she wasn't there. In her place was one of the armored changelings. With a flash of green fire, the changeling had morphed into a likeness of Applejack and jumped onto me. I could see my energy being drained into this vampire-esque beast through channels of green light. Before I could scream or fight back, my body fell from its perch.

Ohhhhh... my head...

My eyes felt really sore. The lids didn't feel much better as I fought to open them. It felt like some pony had decided to prank me by flipping my horn upside-down so that it would dig into my skull. To whomever did that, that wasn't funny. In fact, I was struggling to sit up straight on some floor. I couldn't exactly remember where I was.

There were a couple punch glasses nearby and a small plate of sorts, but did that mean I had been to some party? Was Pinkie Pie the one that flipped my horn? Then I shook my head lightly against the thought.

No, I thought, Pinkie Pie's random but she isn't cruel. I must have a really bad migraine.

That seemed likely, as a quick reach with my hoof to the upper side of my head confirmed that my horn was still pointing the right direction. Still, my head felt so painful. I almost didn't see the rest of the girls sprawled out along various sections of the room I was in.

Did our drinks get spiked? I asked myself, I didn't think Pinkie Pie ever served ale before. Just out of an old habit I remembered as a human, I tried the breath test. Surprisingly, it still worked, though the resulting odor I detected wasn't very pleasant.

Phew! Yes, that is the stench of rye, I thought, Where did she even get rye?

I looked around the room since there was little chance that I'd fall asleep on the floor while sober. It matched exactly what I thought an after-prom party looked like. Then, I saw something that disturbed me a bit more than it should have.

Applejack was curled up with her head resting on my shoulder.

"And then you jumped up and screamed and every pony told you to be quiet because of their headaches," Ms. Sugar-high rambled, "And then Applejack shuffled away from you before something awkward could happen."

"Yes, Pinkie Pie, I know," I grumbled, "I was there."

"Good times," smiled Ms. Oblivious with a sigh. Meanwhile, I was delicately nibbling some disturbingly rich, sweet items to aid in the removal of my hangover. On the opposite side of the table, Applejack was doing the same only with a bit more haste in her devouring. She paused and looked up at the party pony's most recent statement.

"Pinkie Pie," Applejack deadpanned, "That happened just over an hour ago."

"Yeah, good times," she sighed again.

"Let us never speak of that again," I politely demanded.

"Agreed," affirmed Applejack.

"Okie dokie lokie!" chirped Pinkie Pie as she bounced away, "I'll just leave the new couple alone."

I think I did a good impersonation of Twilight Sparkle spitting out that apple in Episode 1. I didn't see, but I heard Applejack choking to the side.

"Pinkie Pie, you!" I shouted at the pony that had already left.

"Not cool!" shouted Applejack just as flustered. I took a few breaths and looked back at my friend who looked a bit better as far as migraines were concerned. Embarrassment, however, was worse.

I cleared my throat before saying, "Well... I should probably head back home. I need to check on Sweetie Belle anyway."

"Yeah," nodded Applejack while adjusting her hat, "and I'm terribly late for... something. Later, D.E.!" She ran out the door of the sweet shop.

"Right," I nodded once in understanding, "Farewell." I adjusted my mane as best as I could with a single hoof and started strolling out.

What a nightmare, I thought, and here I thought getting back to my world would be the worst of my problems. Could things get any better?

Murphy's law was neutral toward statements that talked about better situations. So I wasn't surprised to see that nothing happened.

Didn't think so, I sighed.

Ch. 6: Mind Crush in Stereo

Chapter 6: Mind Crush in Stereo

"Argh... Ugh... Guh... Agh..." was all my mouth could utter. I thought the hangover was the worst migraine I had ever experienced. What I was experiencing now, however, made that alcohol-induced headache seem like a hot towel treatment. This was just... dreadful. I put my hooves up to try and massage the pain, but I might as well not have.

Ow... I... ergh... think I... guh... understand why... agh... Roxas and... ngh... Ventus had such... urgh... headaches, thought my pain-enduring mind. Who signed me up for this mess?

(Three hours earlier...)

The bell to Carousel Boutique's front door rang.

"Hey, Rarity!" called Spike as he ran in.

"Yes, Spike?" I responded.

"The Princess sent a letter specifically asking for you!" he exclaimed, "Here, look!"

I took a magical hold of the recently opened scroll he was showing to me. As he looked expectantly, I read through the message's context.

Dear Rarity,

I believe I may know something regarding your dilemma that Twilight Sparkle described to me. Please come meet me in Canterlot so that we may discuss further details. Don't worry about packing. You won't need to bring anything with you.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

"What does it mean by dilemma?" asked Spike. He still didn't know. I felt guilty leaving the guy out of the loop but it was too important to take the time that would be necessary to explain all of the details. So instead, I opted to use Rarity's charm. It involved me batting fake eyelashes and using an almost seductive tone. (I'd rather not relive the moment.) The trick was mean, but I convinced myself that it was for a good cause: making sure Spike didn't worry.

After that, I trotted the long way to the Ponyville train station. There were a few other passengers, but the overall atmosphere felt very empty. Even the noise of the train wheels clacking against the tracks didn't seem all that fulfilling. Despite the boredom that should have overcome me, I couldn't fall asleep. My anxiety was keeping my mind occupied with possibilities and hope for a feasible solution to my situation. I didn't know how much of that anxiety was my own and how much of it was Rarity's.

Either way, I was practically shaking in worry as the train arrived at the destination. How could Canterlot look so beautiful and yet so intimidating at the same time?

"Send her in," gently ordered a familiar voice. As the giant double-door opened, I was immediately greeted with the sight of... her majesty. She never ceased to inspire awe when I was in her presence. Every fiber that rode on that holy wind shimmered with reflected sunlight aura. Her tall figure didn't demand respect. It simply asked politely for respect in a way that no pony could ever say "no". But I digress.

"Hello, Princess," I greeted while bowing in respect.

"Please rise, Rarity," requested Princess Celestia. I did so without hesitation.

"Pardon my curtness," I began, "But your letter indicated that you know something about my dilemma. Might you be able to tell me what that something is?"

"Rather than telling you," replied Celestia as she started approaching me, "I think it would be better if I showed you."

"I'm afraid I don't-" but I never got to finish voicing my confusion as a shimmering golden horn made contact with my forehead. I actually felt my pupils dilate as my vision clouded over.

"What have I got to complain about? I've actually got a job, for crying out loud."

"I think you've had enough, buddy. Your tab was due last month and I'm still not seeing it."

"Find your center, clear your mind, and let your tensions go."

"Hyah!"

"Why are you so interested in that show? It's target demographic is little girls."

"Oh, all right. If it'll get you to quit bugging me, I'll take a look at it. But I make no promises."

"W...why am I watching this? Why... do I... like... this?"

"Is that a Star Wars reference? Oh my gosh! That is the Star Wars ending scene."

"Let's see... wow, that's a lot of tips for one night."

"Oh great, another punch-happy customer."

"Wait... what do you mean higher than black belt?"

"Uh, sure. I guess I'll give that training a whirl."

"D'aaaaw. Is there anything Fluttershy can do that isn't cute?"

"I'm telling you, man. There is undeniable proof that Pinkie Pie is best pony! Just look at her in this episode 'Baby Cakes'. She actually learned something beyond her usual crazy antics."

"Tom?! Dude... that's an inanimate object. By your logic I could validly say that Quills & Sofas is best pony. Get serious!"

"Uh... Master Li? What are you doing with that needle?"

"I... am..."

Who signed me up for this mess? All of these... visions... were they memories? Celestia had already stepped back and dimmed her horn but I was still sitting there holding my head like I was trying to prevent an explosion. I groaned and whimpered, but the pain just wouldn't leave me.

"Here," offered Celestia. A glass of water floated into view. I didn't know where she got it from, but my head was pounding too much for me to give drinking a second thought. I carefully held it with both hooves pressed against the glass. I didn't trust my magic due to where the pain was. I kind of forgot my proper manners in the moment and basically chugged the liquid down.

"Ah," I sighed as I finished the last drop. Oddly enough, my headache was alleviated. Now, there was just an annoying sting in that area.

"Desmond Edward," gently spoke Celestia.

Desmond Edward, echoed my thoughts, That...that's my name. It sounds and feels right. That must be my real name.

"How did you...?" I asked, "What did you...?"

"I should have known that this day would come," sighed Celestia sadly, "and yet I kept ignoring the fact."

"What are you talking about?" I inquired more confused than ever.

"I'll try to explain it as best as I can," replied Celestia (heh, funny. I couldn't think of her as "Princess" anymore), "There was an encounter Luna and I had about six months following the first defeat of Discord. This new entity had no name except the wish to be called 'The Oracle'."

"Isn't that the name of a future-seer?" I asked, "Oh, sorry. Please continue."

"'The Oracle' told of a prophecy that there would be a time that the Elements of Harmony would lose their connection to the new princesses. It said that all six would rise again, but not from the birth of new ponies. Instead, they would rise from a split world. An alternate Earth would offer six of its deceased souls and grant them refuge in ours. I didn't realize its meaning at the time being so young. Now, I think I'm beginning to understand."

"I'm afraid I don't follow, Celestia," I voiced my slow uptake.

"Desmond Edward," she spoke solemnly, "This... is your second life. Rarity is your reincarnate."

Needless to say, I raised an eyebrow at that, "Beg pardon?"

"You haven't swapped minds with her," responded Celestia, "You've become her. It's only now after your battle with the Elements' use that you're remembering your past life's experiences."

I think a number of sound effects sputtered from my mouth for the next minute. I couldn't form any coherent sentence. This was just... I don't know... impossible. Did I walk into the limbo world of Inception or something? No, that wasn't possible either. Realizing it's a dream would have woken me up from the dream. Then what was all of this?

"B-but," I stammered, "I watched events of Rarity's life before I even woke up here! How could I have lived through all of that if I wasn't even in that life yet?"

"Watched events of...?" Celestia trailed off before a look of distant realization hit her, "Oracle, you sly spirit."

"Princess-say-what-now?" I stumbled.

"The Oracle was able to send its visions to the people of your past life," smiled Celestia, "albeit subconsciously and somewhat filtered."

"Wait..." I looked at a spot on the wall with spaced out interest, "You mean to tell me... that the television show taking place in Equestria was a foreshadowing of events that had yet to come?"

I looked back at Celestia directly while saying, "And it was all because of this 'Oracle' that they were able to envision it at all?"

"That would be my guess," nodded Celestia.

I'm not entirely sure what happened after that. I vaguely recall grinding my teeth in confused frustration, my face felt like it was burning up, and I quickly opened my eyes wide with a huge disarming smile.

"Excuse me while I lie down for a while, Princess," I politely requested. My head fell backward while I somehow remembered one thought:

Pull up the red sofa.

My sense of the world faded to black.

"Man, Miles. How did you get into this mess?" I shook my head.

I was playing Assassin's Creed: Revelations for the umpteenth time in my life. Right then, I had just gotten through a few parts of the first-person optional story that, while confusing, did explain a lot about the guy other than being a former assassin and a prisoner of Abstergo. I guess I kind of related to him being a bartender like he had chosen to be. Sure, my occupation wasn't to run away from a family history of murders, but somehow... I could understand what it was like. A life destiny was set for you and you had to follow its path willingly and obediently.

It didn't help that my destiny involved watching some guys turning into drunken fools. There were some girls that turned into fools too, but at least most of them still remembered to leave a tip. Happiness was supposed to be its own reward. If that were true, I wouldn't have felt disgusted at the occasional punch-happy guys that had one too many. I was satisfied standing behind the counter while the bouncer took care of the harder yet less frequent work.

But as far as excitement went, Miles definitely had more in his ancestors' lives than my own. He didn't just knock out the guys that were roughing it. He flat out pursued his targets and ran across rooftops for some awe-inspiring, one-stab kills. But it wasn't the killing that excited me about the AC series. That was just a side benefit. The deeper significance beyond their own lives: Altair, Ezio, and Desmond... their roles paved larger paths to the eventual conclusion that still made the player yearn for more.

"Heh," I shook my head again, "My life will never be that exciting."

"Believe it or not, Raven actually had a valid point. Meditation always starts at the center."

My instructor had moments where he mixed abstract thoughts with something from a slightly more comical source. Still, it never hurt me before to learn how to maintain breath control. If taking a quote from a raspy girl of the Teen Titans helped my training, I wasn't about to complain. The art of defense started with finding inner peace after all.

The wushu that my master focused on in his teachings involved several slow, fluid motions. I could practically see real-life waterbending, though these were much more difficult motions to perform before he considered me to be... "adequate". I couldn't immediately see what I was doing wrong, but I did need to practice patience. That much was certain.

"We are done for today," he bowed.

"Thank you, Master Li," I said my farewell and returned the bow.

"You can't be serious."

I stared unamused at my friends as if they had grown extra heads. They were trying to convince me that this new thing that they were interested in was more than just a childish cartoon. What was even more befuddling was the feeling of genuine enthusiasm behind their insistence.

"My little pony?" I asked, "I'm pretty sure that's a just a marketing ploy that targets little girls."

"No, no, no," one insisted, "It's a real breath of fresh air after all the other garbage that TV has forced on us over the years."

"Yeah," agreed the other, "You ought to give it a chance sometime, Edward! It actually puts effort into itself."

"So did the Warner Brothers when they made the Deadly Hallows two parter," I retorted, "That doesn't change the fact that they practically smudged up the vision of the book."

"Come on, Desmond," pleaded the first, "I Pinkie Promise that you'll like it."

"But... you didn't even raise your pinkie," I noticed the lack of finger motion to back up his swear.

"It goes like this," piped in the other, "Cross my heart and hope to fly; stick a cupcake in my eye."

I stared blankly at them before leaving my share for the lunch bill on the table.

"I'm out of here," I fared them well, "Have fun watching your daughters' 30 minute toy commercials."

"My Little Pony, honestly," I muttered as I walked away.

"The party cannon again? AH ha ha ha ha ha!"

I was still guffawing as I watched the main six fight off the montage of changelings. I mean really. When did it become official until just now that the party cannon could be legitimately used as a weapon in combat? Only Pinkie Pie could make that work so well. That... was why she was best pony.

Despite that, she wasn't my favorite. No, there was a distinct difference between my favorite and my best. The best pony was one that encompassed all sorts of incomparable qualities that the rest of the cast just couldn't touch. My favorite on the other hand, was one that I admired. For all the faults she had, she still pulled through when it counted. She even addressed the real life issues of external and internal conflicts.

Yes, my favorite pony could be no one else but Fluttershy.

The memories of Desmond Edward and the memories of Rarity.

This time, it wasn't so much a headache that I was feeling. Now, I just felt like I was swimming through the recollections like they were a fluid. They were from two separate lives, yet both of those lives were mine. I thought I would have felt angry or at least confused as to why this was happening to me. Instead it felt so...

...surreal.

Ch. 7: Wake Me Up Inside

Chapter 7: Wake Me Up Inside

"You may tell them if you wish," she had told me. "However, I imagine it was difficult enough to retrieve your old memories and meld them into your current ones. It will probably be just as difficult for your friends to accept theirs. Perhaps, you could use some... tact."

"Why, Celestia, surely you jest? I am Rarity. If there's anything I know, it's how to be tactful in a conversation."

After returning to Ponyville Station and meeting up in Golden Oaks Library...

"That... could have gone better," I mused with a slight frown.

Twilight was stuttering several unintelligible phrases. Fluttershy was on her back with all four legs straight up in the air. Applejack was distantly staring at her own hoof, while her mouth was opening and closing several times over. Pinkie was the only one I could see that was taking things in stride. Then again, she was laughing on the floor. Maybe she didn't believe me.

"I don't get it." Rainbow shook her head.

"You're positive that the princess said that all six of you guys are reincarnations?" reiterated Spike.

"I heard her loud and clear... well, indoor voice and clear. You get the point," I said.

Rainbow crossed her front legs while flying in place. "No way! When the awesomeness that was me was born, they broke the mold."

Where did she get the sunglasses from? I wondered. "There aren't a bunch of you, Rainbow. There are so few of you that life decided to recycle your soul."

Our favorite unicorn finally stopped her stuttering. She replaced it with an unsettling fit of giggles. There was too much air being pushed out with each laugh for it to be natural. The rest of us stopped whatever we were doing to watch her carefully. Even Pinkie stopped and stared at Twilight with worry.

"You're hilarious, Rarity." Twilight slowly trod across the floor. "Absolutely amusing. Way to pull one over us."

"Twilight, darling..." I reflexively put up a thin, invisible magic barrier in front of myself. "In all the time that I have known you, have I ever once told an elaborate joke at your expense?"

She forced out some more chuckles. "There's a first time for everything." She kept walking forward. "After all, we're not characters stuck in the pages of a book doomed to repeat our exact same behaviors with every read-through. We are real life ponies with actual experiences." Her face pressed up against my transparent defense. "So who knows? Maybe you could have chosen today to be a spring of laughter."

Pinkie Pie rapidly shook her head. "Ewww... Pinkity sounds like a terrible power couple."

I idly tapped one of the curls in my coiffure. "Doubt me if you must, but Princess Celestia herself told me all of this."

"We'll see about that." Twilight nodded to herself as she turned around. "Spike!"

"You don't have to shout when I'm in the same room..." Spike grumbled as he walked up next to her, with quill and paper ready to go.

At some point, Fluttershy had pulled herself back onto her hooves and took a nervous swallow. I couldn't tell if it was a European swallow or an African swallow. Still, she managed to calm it down before releasing it to fly out the open window. She lightly tapped a hoof, and I chuckled sheepishly before releasing the small barrier spell.

"So... um... w-when will we... realize our old selves... like you did?"

That was a good question, Fluttershy. When exactly were the rest of them supposed to gain the memories of their past lives? Judging by my interactions with Sweetie Belle shortly after I "woke up", it had to have been at least some time after our first Sisterhooves Social together. If a bond like that were the key trigger, then we were short a few siblings as far as I knew. Besides, Applejack still didn't know her 'old self' after all this time spent with both of her siblings. Maybe I was on the wrong track of thinking altogether.

"I wish I knew what to tell you, Fluttershy." I shook my head. "But I simply do not know."

It was at this moment that Spike expelled a sealed scroll through his dragon flame mail. He unwrapped the scroll and read its contents out loud. "It is true, my faithful student. I just wasn't sure when you would be ready to hear this information."

Applejack adjusted her hat. "Well, that about sums up the deal. Doesn't it?"

Twilight magically pulled the scroll out of Spike's grasp and frantically read through the page and its contents. Her eye twitched as more and more of the hairs in her mane curled up and out of her preferred style. She teleported in front of the basement door and galloped through the way.

"Twilight!" called Pinkie Pie as she peeked through the open door. "What are you going to do?"

The rest of us chased after her. I slid a bit on the floor as I caught sight of her sitting in front of a full-height mirror and charging a bluish spell. I gasped and instinctively reached out a hoof, even though I was at least a floor away.

"No, don't-!"

Before I could finish, she had fired her magic at the mirror. The spell bounced off in the opposite direction, hitting her square in the forehead. She yelped as she was propelled backwards along the basement floor. Rainbow and Fluttershy flew down toward her while the rest of us took the stairs.

Pinkie popped up around various positions in the basement, with just as many different facial expressions to represent her panic. "Twilight! Are you nuts?! You shouldn't go throwing spells around like that! You'll poke some pony's eye out!"

Applejack leaned her head over the sprawled out pony. "Hey. ... Hey! Snap out of it!"

"Wake up!" insisted Rainbow Dash.

"Please, wake up," pleaded Fluttershy.

I held my hoof in front of my mouth. I was feeling a little too horrified to properly express words. Twilight Sparkle practically attacked herself with magic. I couldn't understand why. I knew she could stress herself over things that didn't matter to the rest of us, but intentional self-harm was unthinkable.

Spike dropped his head against Twilight's chest. "Oh thank Celestia, she still has life." He hugged her tightly.

Her eyes gradually opened. She mumbled something about kittens before sitting up straight and rubbing her face with her front hooves. She looked around and blinked each time her gaze rested on one of us.

"Pinkie Pie?" Her ears were laid flat against her head. "Applejack? Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy? Spike? Rarity?"

"Y-Yes, Twilight." I gave a nod. "Those are all of our names."

"I'm... Twilight?" She slowly turned her eyes to look down at her own limbs. "Huh... I guess that makes some amount of sense."

"What do you mean 'some amount of sense'?" wondered Rainbow. "Did that misfired spell scramble your egghead?"

Twilight's loose mane hairs somehow straightened themselves out. "A spell?" She sighed and put a hoof over her eye. "Of course it was a spell. What else would Twilight Sparkle possibly be doing?"

"Um... Twilight?" Fluttershy moved some of her own mane out of her eyes. "Why are you talking in the third-perspective?"

"Isn't that Trixie's shtick?" added Applejack.

Twilight shook her head. "Sorry, I'm not used to dreaming as one of the ponies. Usually, I'm hanging above and looking in."

Pinkie Pie tilted to one side. "That... doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

Spike snapped his claws near Twilight's ears. "Are you still half-asleep?"

"Wait a minute..." I tapped my chin. "What's the last thing you remember doing before waking up here?"

'Twilight' shrugged her shoulders. "Must have been up late, reading the B-Canon comics. It's what I'd normally do on a work night."

The rest of the group had a mix of reactions. Rainbow Dash flipped upside-down. Applejack lifted her brow. Pinkie Pie's head was somehow mimicking the motion of an analog timer. Spike scratched the scales atop his head. Fluttershy fainted and I had to pull around my fainting couch before her head could make contact with anything else.

"Either she hit her head so hard that she's delusional," I thought aloud, "or her past life's memories are in her head now."

This seemed to bring most of the basement's occupants to attention. Fluttershy was still out of commission, but the rest of my friends were staring in open-mouthed surprise. 'Twilight' was an exception, just looking at me confused.

"Pretty sure reincarnation is just a superstition." The other unicorn stood up. "But you'd already know that, being in my dream and all."

I've read enough fiction to know that telling someone that you're not a dream just vindicates that person's belief that you are a dream. Together, my two lives gave me ways to think around such situations. One thing that could break Twilight, and hopefully her past life's mind, out of her delusion was to present an impossible case.

"Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions?" I held out my hoof for emphasis.

"Sure." She shrugged again.

"Do you pay any attention to sports?"

Rainbow muttered under her breath, "I doubt she does."

"Not especially closely." 'Twilight' shook her head.

"Okay, so if I were in fact a figment of your imagination that you are dreaming, with no knowledge other than what you have..." I smirked. "... how could I possibly know that last year, the Golden State Warriors won the basketball championship?"

Applejack squinted. "Who in the what?"

Twilight's eyes slowly opened wider. "That was... a coherent thought and intelligent question... but..." She pointed her hoof. "Say that again."

"Last year, the Golden State Warriors won the basketball championship," I said with the exact same inflections as before.

"No drastic change from the same input..." 'Twilight' began to shake in place. "This is real?!"

"That's what brings her to her senses?" Rainbow crossed her front hooves. "A made up sports team and a championship?"

"Then again," piped in Pinkie, "we didn't exactly have any other ideas on how to fix her."

Spike clenched his fangs. "Uh, guys? We should probably move this discussion upstairs."

Applejack responded, "Why's that?"

Spike scuttled his little feet. "Because when Twilight stresses out, a magical outburst is inevitable. Trust me and run!"

Following his lead, Applejack galloped after him. Pinkie bounced up the stairs to the ground-level floor. I magically pulled the couch with Fluttershy on it. Rainbow quickly pushed the couch from behind and we made our way through the door to the main entrance. Immediately after, Twilight unleashed a terrified scream and something reddish exploded from behind the door. The entire library shook, causing most of us to rattle off stuttering syllables, save for Rainbow who was still low-flying.

When the shaking stopped, I let out a sigh. "Thank you for the fair warning, Spikey."

Spike twiddled his claws. "Aw, no need to thank me."

"Think it's safe now?" wondered Rainbow.

"Only one way to find out." Applejack adjusted her hat and marched back toward the basement door.

Each of us peeked into the basement. The light was flickering on and off, as if it were a low-budget haunted house. Black dust made up a thin layer on the surfaces of the walls and floor. Rainbow went in first, descending via wing power. Spike was soon to follow along the stairs. Applejack and I took up the rear, because Pinkie had somehow popped out of a hole in the wall ahead of us.

Twilight's horn was illuminating consistently while the overhead light was currently unreliable for continuous sight. She was staring down at her front hooves. Her eyes were unblinking and her mouth line was scrunched up. Curiously, her coiffure survived her magical outburst completely intact in her favored mane style.

"Are you okay?" Spike ran up and put his claw on her shoulder.

"Y-Yeah..." Twilight barely moved even as she spoke. "J-Just needed to...to cast the memory spell... amidst the panicked magical signature surrounding me." She closed her eyes. "Never... better."

"So... what was all that earlier jibber-jabber about?" Pinkie Pie stretched her neck over to bring her eyes no more than two feet away from Twilight.

"I remember everything."

When the rest of Pinkie's body snapped over to join her head, it made exactly the same sound as a pin dropping.

"Remember what?" asked Applejack.

Twilight opened her eyes again. "The piles of bills... my wife... the jumping in and out of the fandom... the long commutes in the rain... everything." She held a hoof up against the side of her head. "I really did have a past life as a human."

I tried to smile in support. "That doesn't sound too bad of a life."

She shook her head. "It's not that. I'm more stressed out that I could have forgotten all of that to begin with. How could I have lived so long as some pony... somebody else and just tossed it aside like that?"

I pressed a hoof into the shoulder opposite of the side Spike was standing on. "Twilight, listen carefully. You did not 'toss it aside'. I doubt you had much choice in the change of life. You were given a new life to start. It's going to be difficult to come to terms with that idea. But if any pony can learn to cope with a duality of minds, it's you darling."

Twilight set her hoof against my own. She chuckled nervously. "Is that Rarity talking or Diamond Edge?"

I kept my serious gaze upon her. "Yes."

Rainbow scoffed. "Feathering smart-flank."

"Heh. Seems safe now." Applejack trotted over and joined in the group hug.

Twilight's chuckle was more genuine this time. Pinkie pulled us all together to complete the group hug, much to the discomfort of Rainbow and Spike. Actually, I couldn't really blame them. This hug felt really tight, though not as tight as some of our other group hugs. There was something a little off about this.

"Hey!" Pinkie chirped. "Some pony should probably go let Fluttershy know everything's okay now."

"Goodness, I left her up there all alone!" I exclaimed while trying to urge us toward the stairs.

"Hold on." Twilight's horn glowed brightly.

In a burst of magenta light, we were instantly in the main area of the library. As I looked around, a yawn caught my attention. There was our calm pegasus slowly getting up from the couch. Then, she promptly fell flat on her face. We all ran over to her. Rainbow flew ahead of us and picked her up and shook with her hooves.

"Fluttershy, quick!" Rainbow dropped down and curled the ends of one wing. "How many feathers am I holding up?"

Fluttershy barely opened her eyes, and chuckled creepily. "You've got a funny-colored wig."

I put my hoof over my muzzle against my head. "Oh sweet Celestia, please don't tell me her past life was a druggie."

Author's Note

Three down, three to go.

Ch. 8: It's Super Effective!

Chapter 8: It's Super Effective!

Twilight lowered her head and fired her spell. Fluttershy's pupils widened and then dilated, before returning to a somewhat normal size. She ceased her petting of Rainbow Dash's mane and held her hoof against her own head. Fluttershy's wings briefly spread out and up in full display. She blinked a few times.

"Oh... my..." Fluttershy looked down at the floor, letting her mane cover one eye.

Rainbow raised her brow. "Feeling okay now?"

"Y-Yes... just..." Fluttershy exhaled. "That's a lot to process."

"I can relate," Twilight and I said at the same time.

"So, what was your past life like?" asked Pinkie Pie in excitement.

"I... um... only recall bits and pieces right now," admitted Fluttershy. "A lot of it is composed of images of blurred color that I know weren't real."

Applejack held up a hoof. "Like what?"

Fluttershy moved her left wing under her muzzle. "Like a toaster oven growing teeth and teaching the store clerk how to juggle chainsaws... or a man and his dog eating a whole bus on their way home."

I groaned and shook my head. "Definitely a druggie."

Nearby, I heard someone breathing heavily. When I turned to look, I saw Twilight sweating several droplets. That poor mare looked like she just finished a marathon. Given how much magic she had cast just that day, I wouldn't have been surprised if that was equal to how much effort she had spent.

"Hang on." Spike ran up to her. "You should probably get some rest. You've had two freakouts in less than two hours. It's more than your metabolism can keep up with."

Twilight shook her head. "Spike, it's not metabolism that produces energy. It's the... mitochondria..."

With that last correction regarding anatomy, our bookworm fell unconscious. This time, however, it was a more natural sleep that came complete with snoring. Spike shrugged his shoulders and picked her up by her front hooves. Well, he didn't really pick her up. It was more of a casual drag.

"You guys should probably avoid trying to force any more lifetime wake-ups for today." He grunted as he moved toward the upstairs. "She's going to be out for a while."

Pinkie Pie whined. "Awww, I wanted to meet the old/new me."

Applejack adjusted her hat. "Reckon it's just as well, sugar cube. I'm not sure I could handle more crazy right now."

Rainbow crossed her front hooves. "Besides, I don't think you can really meet you if you are you."

Pinkie blinked twice. "Wait... so Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy aren't hearing little ponies' voices inside their heads that sound kind of like the people that they used to be?"

Fluttershy folded her wings. "Um, no. I'm not hearing anything like that."

I shook my head. "The thoughts of my two lives are practically the same now. I couldn't tell you where Desmond ends and I begin."

"Huh, well that's too bad," commented Pinkie. "It would have been nice to add a whole new gaggle of friends."

"A gaggle, Pinkie?" Applejack tilted her head.

"I don't know." Pinkie shrugged. "What would you call a group of humans? A pod of humans? A flock?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's called a crowd. What do you call a group of ponies?"

"A groupthink tank!" called Spike from the second floor.

"Oooo." Rainbow wiped an imaginary sweat drop with her wing.

Fluttershy looked to the side. "I guess there's a nugget of truth to that."

Applejack cleared her throat. "In any case, maybe it's best if we break for today and try to reconvene later to figure things out."

"Sounds perfect to me." I smiled and nodded.

"Sure," added Rainbow.

"Mm-hmm." Fluttershy nodded.

"Okay, see you all tomorrow!" Pinkie bounced out of sight around some invisible barrier.

The next d- OW! What the heck?
Sorry, just passing through.
Well, then get going. Good gracious. *ahem*

The next day...

After a quick shower and a short hour with the hairbrush, my mane and I were ready to approach the morning. I just needed a little highlight to bring out my face to its natural state of beauty. I still felt a vague tinge of discomfort regarding all the trouble I was going to for a normal day, and arrived at a last-minute compromise. I did not file my hooves, opting to let the eventual walk outside rub them down for me.

When I arrived downstairs in the kitchen, I was pleasantly surprised at the lack of smoke. Sweetie Belle was at the table, pouring what sounded like a bowl of cereal. I smiled as I trotted closer.

"Good morning, Sweetie Belle."

She had to set the item in her mouth down. "Morning, Diamond Edge."

"Trying something different this morning?" I sat in the chair next to her.

"Yeah, I know you don't like yours too toasted." She pulled the cap off the carton. "So I thought I'd let you decide how long to cook it for."

"Thank you, Sweetie Belle." I levitated the carton and carefully tipped it to pour the contents on top of the bowl. "That was quite considerate." It was about when I put the carton down and lifted my spoon that I looked at the cereal bowl. "Erm... wait... are those... potato chips?" I looked back at the carton. "And... was that the orange juice?"

Sweetie Belle nodded while pouring from the carton into her own bowl. "Yeah! Gotta eat them nice and soggy!"

I smiled sadly and shook my head. These tarnished individual food items deserved a proper burial in the garbage.

Finishing one of my recently saved hard-boiled eggs from the fridge, I headed out for the day. Sweetie decided she wanted to follow me through town.

"Are you sure?" I looked down and back at her. "Won't your friends miss you?"

She shook her head. "Apple Bloom has special chores to do on Saturdays and Scootaloo said she had something she wanted to look into alone. So, I'm on my own if I don't count you."

I hummed and shrugged a shoulder. "Very well then. I can't promise today will be as exciting as your cutie mark adventures."

She chuckled as we trotted along. "That's okay. I could use a break from all the hullabaloo."

I nodded and faced forwards. "Off to Golden Oaks."

Of all our main group's members, Rainbow looked the least enthusiastic about being here. Even though she hovered like usual while continuously flapping her wings, she held her head low against her crossed front hooves. Meanwhile, Fluttershy looked at me with trepidation. I gave her a reassuring smile, despite my current setup and examination, attached to wires with suction cups and a brainwave reading helmet. Twilight was looking through a pile of papers and notes with vigor.

"I'm no expert," started Applejack, "but don't you think that taking readings before she regained her memories would make for better data to compare?"

Twilight peeked up from her paper. "Huh... now that you mention it...." She levitated her papers to one side and helped pull me out of the machine. "Sorry, girls. Half of me is still new to this hybrid of science and magic."

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "Huh? Didn't you study magic pretty much all of your life?"

I cleared my throat. "I... may have just recently learned that the rest of us had previous lives with completely different memories before 'waking up' here in Equestria."

"Wait, what?" Sweetie shook her head and gave an incredulous look.

"Remember how I mentioned that I was once a human?" I held out my hoof to the side.

Sweetie nodded.

"Well, according to Princess Celestia's words, I'm not the only one. Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow are also formerly human. It's just that each of their wake-ups are different."

Sweetie looked around at every pony present. "Wait, how do you know for sure?"

I curled my tail around for emphasis. "Because I have recollections of things only humans would know and applied it to how Twilight and Fluttershy acted when they 'woke up'. We were lucky enough to have Twilight's memory spell to make the merging of minds require fewer trips to the hospital beds."

"But you didn't trip on your way to the hospital bed." Sweetie tapped her head. "You were already out cold."

I sighed. "That isn't the definition of 'trip' I meant, little sister."

"Oh." She lowered her gaze to the floor.

Pinkie patted her on the back. "There, there. Even dictionary writers can get things wrong sometimes."

Sweetie looked at her with a raised brow. "Have you been hanging around Scootaloo when I wasn't looking?"

"Here's a crazy thought." Rainbow hovered low. "What if we don't want to remember who we used to be?"

"Why not, Dashie?" Pinkie looked up at her.

"I'm perfectly happy not knowing everything." Rainbow grunted. "The most stressed out ponies tend to be the eggheads."

Twilight held out a hoof. "But Rainbow, our memories are one of the important aspects that make us who we are. To refuse to accept ownership of what we recall is to deny a central part of ourselves."

Applejack lowered her hat slightly over her eyes. "I have to admit, it's all a might scary. The idea of living one life... losing all of it... living another life... only to reckon all of that first one back and try to make sense of both... makes me shiver."

"See?" Rainbow pointed both her hooves flat-side up at Applejack. "I mean... not that I'm scared... it's just not normal."

Fluttershy moved a hair away from her eyes. "Um... how much of our life can we really say is normal?"

Rainbow looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Fluttershy swiveled her hoof. "Well... how many 'normal' ponies can say that they can fly fast enough to create a Sonic Rainboom? Or store party cannons around Ponyville in case of party cannon emergencies? Or have more than one family member connected to royalty?"

Rainbow's flapping started to slow down as sweat drops appeared behind her ears. "Um... well, I... that's not what... I..."

Applejack adjusted her hat so her green eyes were visible. "If we refuse to learn just because something ain't normal, we might be unable to improvise and adapt the next time life throws us something like a changeling invasion or a king's curse."

Pinkie gasped. "Or something even more chaotic than Discord!"

Rainbow closed her eyes and held her head down. "Could I just... have some time away from all this? I don't think I'm ready yet."

I nodded. "Of course, darling. I'm sure none of us want to force you."

She nodded back and looked at me with solemn magenta irises. "Thanks, Rarity." With that, she flew out of the basement at her slower pace.

Aside from Twilight organizing her equipment back to her style of organization, it became relatively quiet after that. For a while, the rest of us simply looked at the door that Rainbow had left through. That was about when Pinkie grabbed Applejack by the withers.

"Headbutt!"

"Wait, what?!"

As soon as Applejack had voiced her confusion, Pinkie slammed their foreheads against each other. Both earth ponies went wordlessly to the ground. Sweetie Belle covered her mouth with both front hooves. Fluttershy's eyes went wide. Twilight's tail and mane went straight.

"Heavens to Celestia, Pinkie!" I nearly screamed. "If I didn't know you, I would have asked what the hay you were thinking!"

She made no movements. That just worried me even more, considering how much of a tumbling she could usually take without stopping. A dead-silent Pinkie... the world would never be ready for that.

"Spike, wet towels." Twilight urged him. "Quickly!"

Spike saluted and ran. "On it!"

It had been less than one hour since the head injuries took place. Yet, it felt like it had been several hours. At this point, both Applejack and Pinkie Pie had been propped on their backs on Twilight's bed and the guest bed respectively. Spike and Twilight changed the towel every ten minutes or so. The rest of us sat around and waited.

"I spy with my little eye..." Sweetie Belle walked around a bit, turning her head this way and that. "... something beginning with 'R'."

I sighed and looked away. "Reading material."

"You got it." Sweetie nodded and stopped walking.

I wasn't sure when we had started this game, but it was all we could do to try and reduce our states of worry. But... we were running out of things to describe and hint at.

"Um..." Fluttershy glanced around, barely moving her head. "I spy something beginning with the letter... 'C'."

"A cobra?" Sweetie walked close to me. "A cart? Ceiling?"

"Y-yes." Fluttershy idly massaged her tail between her legs. "Ceiling is right... or up, I guess."

Suddenly, a strange voice could be heard from upstairs. "You shan't take me alive! Oof!"

Next thing I knew, I was seeing Applejack tumbling down the stairs. Each impact with a stair was emphasized by her emitting a grunt or some other similar interjection. The three of us on the ground floor galloped over. At the bottom of the staircase, Applejack landed with the underside of her muzzle against the floor. She tried to reach around to what must have been a couple sore spots all over her body.

"Bloody hell, what has happened to me?" She rubbed her front hooves against her eyes. "Have I been... narcotized?"

I gave a quick glance at Sweetie and Fluttershy. They shook their heads and shrugged. I glanced up and saw Twilight and Spike trying to take a more careful approach to descending the staircase. I cleared my throat and faced Applejack.

"This may sound weird but... do you remember who you are?"

'Applejack' took one look at me before shuffling back against the bookshelf wall behind her. "Another strange, talking creature! What do you want from me?"

I kept my voice as calm and quiet as possible. "Just an answer to my question will suffice for now. Do you know... who you are?"

She forced out a nervous chuckle. "Shouldn't that be the kind of question I ask you?" She leaned her back against the shelf wall while trying to stand on just her hind legs. "I would have thought kidnappers such as yourselves would do your research on one of the wealthy victims you take away."

I lightly tapped a curl in my coiffure. "Please, humor me."

"You want a proper introduction after most likely causing me to suffer?" She crossed her front hooves. "Fine. I am..."

A few seconds passed. For a while, no sound was emitted. Her confident smirk slowly dissolved. She looked on the verge of sweating.

"Wh...Why can't I remember my name?" Her forelegs dropped to either side of herself.

"Because that's not all you are anymore, Applejack." Twilight held her horn just in front of Applejack's eyes, and cast her spell.

Applejack went wide-eyed. As soon as the spell's flash of light had started, it ended. She fell to three hooves, using the fourth to massage her temples. She shook her head, then looked around at us.

Spike held out AJ's hat. "How are you feeling?"

"More confused than a sheep trapped in a chicken coop." She grabbed her hat and put it on. "Why did I wake up in Twilight's room and start babbling about some pony else's upbringing?"

I scratched the floor spot immediately under my hoof. "Well... it seems Pinkie Pie decided to test the endurance of your head by slamming it against her own."

"Hmm..." Applejack looked to the side. "It is the fourth Saturday of the month."

"And that other individual's life you now remember so vividly?" I nodded. "That was your past life... your human life."

Applejack blinked twice. "Oh... put my corn in a kettle and pop it." She looked frustrated as she put a hoof over her face. "I can't believe I was that spoiled rotten."

"Trust me." Twilight smiled wryly. "I can understand the disconnect between lives and how they don't quite match up."

Fluttershy nodded. "Mm-hmm. It's going to be a long time before we can fully accept this."

Sweetie Belle looked over at Spike. "Am I the only one that kind of wishes they had a past life to understand what they were talking about?"

Spike chuckled and pointed a claw at himself. "Believe me: I know what's it like to feel left out. Just... try not to force it. The times you can feel included are more special when they're spread apart."

Sweetie tilted her head. "I don't know. Most of my funner times involved forcing my way into situations and seeing what works."

Spike shrugged his arms. "I guess to each his own."

A collective cacophony of gurgling interrupted both of our conversations.

I giggled and felt myself blush. "It seems we were here longer than we thought. Does any pony have any ideas for lunch?"

"Oo! Oo!" Sweetie jumped up and down. "I know a place close by!"

"What do we do about Pinkie Pie?" mentioned Applejack.

"Spike, would you mind looking after Pinkie while we're out?" asked Twilight. "I'll be sure to pick up something and bring it back for you."

Spike exhaled. "Okay, but make it a double helping?"

"Deal." Twilight nodded.

Fluttershy lifted her head. "I can go let the Cakes know about where Pinkie's staying for now and meet up with you in a little while."

I smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

So... Ponyville apparently had a fast food joint. It had burgers and fries, both made from hay. I was kind of surprised that Rarity didn't know any more than Desmond did about this place. Sweetie Belle told me that she had stopped in here a few times with our parents. That was how she had learned about 'The Hayburger'.

I was having trouble reminding myself to take a bite of the food in front of me. What was distracting was the large, messy mouth of ketchup and other crumbs sitting across the table. What was even more distracting was to whom the mouth belonged.

"If it were Applejack, I could understand." I lifted my brow. "I've seen how she eats at a slumber party. But you?"

"Yeah..." Applejack nodded as she stared at the sloppy culprit. "I would have bet on me making the biggest mess too."

Sweetie swallowed. "What's so bad about how she eats?"

Twilight finally looked up from her devouring spree. "Oh. Sorry. Were you guys saying something? I was really hungry."

I slowly nodded. "I can see that, darling. I can see that all over the place."

Applejack took a small bite and chewed it down quietly. "Is that how the princess eats when you're with her?"

Twilight's open mouth immediately shrank to cover a small spot. "Nooo..." She leaned back a little.

Fluttershy giggled as she set her tray down and pulled up a chair. "Sounds like an enjoyable time."

"Fluttershy!" Twilight exclaimed. "Glad you made it! How did the Cakes take the news?"

"Well, they were concerned at first." Fluttershy fiddled with a stray mane hair. "But then, they convinced each other that Pinkie was strong enough to pull through on her own."

"It's good that they're taking it well." I took a small sip from my drink.

Twilight made some kind of affirming noise in between scarfing down some horseshoe-shaped tater tots. I took a quick glance around. It seemed the rest of the patrons of this establishment were busy with their own conversations or meals.

I leaned my head down a little and whispered, "So, Applejack. Do you remember anything else about your past life?"

Applejack snorted and crossed her hooves. "It was really frou-frou. The furniture had so much lace. A butler was constantly dragging me around to various lessons: violin, table manners, horseback riding... which is really creepy given who I am now." She shivered. "Other than that, it was like a chapter right out of the lives of the Riches."

"That doesn't sound too bad," commented Fluttershy before she quietly started eating.

"Are you kidding?" Applejack raised her brow. "Living such a sheltered life, I didn't learn the importance of others at all. I remember feeling entitled to having everything that I didn't already have. Plus... the thought of inheriting my family's fortune through morally questionable actions crossed my mind in the form of possibilities that I actually took time to consider. I think I was borderline psycho."

"Oh..." was the collective group response.

"If I have to learn even one more thing about past me, it'll be too soon." She pulled her hat over her eyes.

Sweetie blinked a couple times. "Well... now you know better, right?"

"Huh?" Applejack lifted her hat a little to look.

Sweetie smiled. "You care about your family now, don't you? I think the fact that you've had a whole lifetime toward selfless support is enough to make up for past mistakes."

Applejack chuckled. "You sure have an interesting way of looking at it, Sweetie."

"I just don't think beating yourself over with what you've already done will do any good." Sweetie took a drink.

Twilight suddenly pulled out of her rampant eating. "So that's where my copy of Philosophers of Utility and Intrinsic Value went."

I held up a light magic barrier just as Sweetie performed a spit take.

"I...I was going to return it." Sweetie blushed. "Honest!"

I shook my head and smiled. "What am I going to do with you, sweet sister?"

Back in the library, a figure's hair fell low against the side of their head. A long tongue slid out of their mouth and they giggled.

"Where are the scissors?"

Author's Note

I may have tried to make too many references in a single chapter, let alone this entire fic.

Ch. 9: Brutal Jill

Chapter 9: Brutal Jill

There was a sudden burst of lightning when we left The Hayburger. After looking around in confusion, I noticed a pegasus hopping on a cloud. Rainbow Dash was giving a stern talking to said pegasus pony. It was something about weather team protocol. I couldn't quite make out the entire conversation from so far away.

In any case, I was sure Rainbow could handle that situation on her own. It was at this point that I felt a strange wiggling sensation on my left hind leg. When I looked back, I noticed Sweetie Belle hugging on for dear life. I gave a gentle massage to her mane to try and calm her down. She chuckled nervously and resumed trotting next to me.

I glanced back. "Twilight, if you eat all of those hay fries now, what will be left for poor little Spike when you get home?"

"Oh, come on. He's not going to miss one or two fries." Twilight munched and muttered, "... or five... ten..."

"Wow..." Fluttershy couldn't stop staring. "Look at her go."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Twilight levitated the bag over. "Here, take this and keep me from eating too much."

"Whatever you say, darling." I magically grabbed hold of the greasy bag and continued trotting along the way.

Sweetie Belle pulled the door of the library open. I thanked her and trotted inside. I noticed it was rather dark in there. As my magic was busy holding Spike's meal, I swatted my hoof at the light switch.

"Spikey-wikey!" I called out at the light came on. "We're ba-AAAH! By Celestia's mane!"

Golden Oaks interior had gone through much redecorating in our absence. Pieces of green electrical tape were holding up rows of misshapen paper dolls. Several books were haphazardly on the floor, while others were hanging by their corners from the ceiling. Some pairs of silver scissors were sticking out of the floor. There was an awful shade of neon pink paint splotched randomly on the shelves.

On the wall just below the top step of the staircase, a few scissors were jammed into the wall. These silver items were holding up a rather familiar baby dragon, with head limply looking down and his eyes closed.

"Rarity, what are you shouting about?" Applejack walked around me before jerking her gaze at the high stair. "Land's sake!"

"This is... I don't even know what..." Sweetie Belle shook her head.

It was about that time that Fluttershy joined the rest of us inside. Her wings snapped shut and she shivered in place.

As for Twilight... oh... Twilight... A heart attack would have been a mild reaction compared to the number of gibberish syllables coming out of her mouth to describe the atrocities within her abode. I didn't blame her. I was fighting to prevent myself from adding to the mess with my still magically held bag. After her little episode, she finally found the nerve to gallop up and magically pull Spike off the wall, careful to avoid the scissors.

She held a hoof against Spike's face. "Spike? Spike... what happened here? Who did this?"

The poor thing fought to keep his eyes open while his back was on the floor. "Too fast... didn't see... until... all over..."

"Wait, is Pinkie okay?" Fluttershy flew up to the bedroom. She poked her head back out. "She's not in the bedroom."

"Spike." I lowered my head. "W-Where is Pinkie Pie?"

Spike took a sharp intake of air. "Th-That... thing... that wears... her body... calls itself... Jakku."

The four of us with previous lives looked at each other. In unison, we asked, "Her human identity?"

Spike slowly shook his head. "Not... human... or pony... monster..."

"I...I've read novels like this." Applejack gulped. "Victims hung by scissors, normal locations twisted from their recognizable state... This is sounding like a serial murder case."

"Serial murder?!" Fluttershy went down to the floor, holding her front hooves over her head and ears.

"N-Now hold on." Twilight turned around. "We don't have all the facts yet. If such a creature exists and it has access to Pinkie's... uniqueness... wouldn't we have seen signs of such destruction before we made it back here?"

I held a hoof to under my mouth. "And every pony we passed was going about their day as usual."

"Right." Twilight nodded and put her hoof forward. "This is no time to panic. We just need to find Pinkie and talk to her long enough to cast the memory spell and bring the two personalities into a more balanced state."

Fluttershy fidgeted with a strand of her mane against her hooves. "But how do we find her? She could be anywhere."

"Rainbow Dash is pretty quick." Applejack turned her hat around. "If we get her help, it'll be easier to search the town."

Twilight pulled out her chalkboard and started scribbling out a list. "Okay. Applejack and Fluttershy, you'll be in charge of finding Rainbow Dash and convincing her to help search via the skies. Meanwhile, Rarity and I will focus on starting the ground search."

I looked over at the poor dragon, who was still lying there in shock. "Ahem, Spike? Would you like to accompany me?"

That seemed to perk him right onto his feet. "Y-Yeah, I mean... if you need me to."

"What about me?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"I suppose you're my escort too," I relented. "Just be careful. On the off chance that Pinkie's other self is violent, I'd rather you didn't get the rest of us or yourself into trouble."

"Got it." Sweetie locked eyes with determination.

A thief quietly stalked the streets somehow, even though it was the middle of the day. She hugged a wall here, turned around a barrel there, and ducked behind boxes whenever a wandering eye came close. Her new forelimbs were hardly an afterthought as she held a pair of scissors in either grip, and even one more pair with her hair. She quietly giggled as she snipped a hair from one pony, hid, and clipped a few strands of a mane off a different pony.

Then, she caught sight of a jackpot: a cute little pony with a brown and white coloration, like some doggie named Spot.

Spike was rather eager to lead the way for us. I was afraid I had overdone my charm this time. Sure, I hadn't really felt much regret in asking small favors from him before. But this was a potentially life-threatening person that had literally left him hanging to dry less than an hour ago. On the other hoof, I didn't have the heart to tell him to curb his enthusiasm.

Instead, I focused on gathering an inquiry about Pinkie Pie's whereabouts or anything stranger than usual. The first few ponies I asked shook their heads. There was a tangent about how one of them noticed that their head felt slightly lighter than usual. At the same time, I quietly took note of their unusual split ends right on one patch of their mane. I was about to ask who their hairdresser was.

"Help!"

Sweetie Belle gasped. "That sounds like Pip!" She galloped in the direction of the voice.

"Sweetie Belle, wait!" I ran after her, picking up Spike as a back passenger in my rush.

As we all rushed around a corner, Sweetie Belle slid to a stop and looked up. When I managed to see what had gotten her attention, I was speechless. Two pairs of silver scissors were lodged into the brick wall. The tools were holding up the front hooves of Pipsqueak from Trottingham. There were also a few splashes of fuchsia paint splattered on the wall around him.

"Pip, hang on!" called Sweetie.

Poor choice of words. I glanced to the side before shaking my head. "Do you think you can hold him steady long enough for me to remove the scissors?"

She gave me a confused look. "Hold him with what?"

With my left hoof, I pretended to tap the air just in front of her horn.

"Oh."

Sweetie looked back up at Pip. Her horn glowed a in a light jade aura and a similar light surrounded the colt's belly. Meanwhile, I focused my magic at the obstructive silver and pulled back. They were kind of stubborn. As I gritted my teeth against the resistance, I wondered who could possibly dig a non-drilling item so far into a brick. I felt Spike's claws pull on my hind legs.

After several seconds, I saw the scissors fling out of the wall. I took a deep breath and let them fall to the ground. I breathed heavily as I tried to recover. Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was breathing at a similar exhaustion as Pip was slowly lowered. Once he was on all fours, she let her magic fade and leaned against me.

"Are...Are you okay?" Sweetie asked between breaths.

"I am now." Pip exhaled. "Thank you."

"How did you get up there?" Spike walked around. "Was it Pinkie Pie?"

"It sure looked like her." Pip tapped a hoof against his mane. One end looked perfectly straight like it was cut recently. "But I can't chalk up hanging me for dear life as her usual self. What's going on with her?"

"That's what we're hoping to find out as soon as we catch her." I pulled out a brush and wiped out the sweat from my mane. "Did you see which way she went?"

"Um..." Pip held a hoof under his mouth. "I think she was muttering something about a house of gingerbread before she ran off."

"Sugarcube Corner!" exclaimed all three of our impromptu search party's members.

"Thanks, Pip." Sweetie Belle galloped ahead while Spike and I followed.

Perhaps my gasping muscles were getting overworked today. I couldn't help it. There was just far too much going on that was... not right. The inside of Sugarcube Corner simply added to my exercise of the gasp. Random squirts of frosting dripped from the ceiling. Cup Cake and Pumpkin Cake were huddled in the corner, covering their heads with their respective hooves. Meanwhile, Carrot Cake and Pound Cake were trapped with scissors lodged in the wall, preventing their limbs from moving.

Every fiber in my body screamed at me to call my fainting couch. However, a quick clenching of my teeth on my hoof brought me back to a state where I could focus. I motioned for Spike to look after the ladies while bringing Sweetie Belle over to help me get the colts down. After they were safely on the ground, I turned my attention to the rest of the place.

If I were Pinkie Pie being controlled by a crazy person, where would I-

A loud crash echoed from the kitchen.

Because of course she'd be there. I sighed and whispered, "Spike, stay here with the Cakes. Sweetie, with me."

Both of them nodded and took up their respective posts. I silently tip-hoofed over to the kitchen and craned my neck to try and look inside. The light was too dim to make anything out. Sweetie tried looking under the swinging door, but the scrunching of her mouth indicated she couldn't see anything concrete either.

Subtlety isn't going to work. This door creaks no matter which way it opens. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I shall have to borrow a page from Applejack and Rainbow Dash's book.

I illuminated my horn and stepped into the kitchen with obvious noise. "Hello~? Mr. or Mrs. Whoever-You-Are? Are you in here?"

Sweetie Belle slowly trotted next to me while muttering, "I'm not scared. I'm not scared," over and over.

From what I could see in my limited light spell, this kitchen was covered in an awful mess. A rolling pin and a whisk were on the floor. A patch of what I could only hope was flour covered the corners of counters. More silver scissors were scattered around the sink of all places. A batch of cupcakes was all set up on forks that were duct taped in a way that they were standing on the ends of their handles. Each pastry had a fuzzy topping that resembled... mane hair.

"I changed my mind. I'm terrified." Sweetie Belle hugged my left leg.

I tried hugging her with the same side's front hoof. "It's going to be okay."

Something pulled my mane and cut right on top of my ear.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Rarity!" called two voices before I blacked out on my couch.

The sudden furniture bumped the thief off balance and they went flying with their newest piece. They collided headfirst with a stack of baking pans. The top pan whacked a lemon down below. The lemon was squeezed and its juice hit a standing fork. The fork fell down into an open bowl, did a one-eighty along the inside curve, and flew upward. This eventually led to the fork popping a giant balloon, resulting in the dim light returning to its normal brightness.

Sweetie Belle yelped upon the sudden increase of light and squeezed her eyes shut. Spike ran in and went straight over to the currently unconscious Rarity, lying back against her fainting couch. He attempted to fan the air over her head, using his right hand. Meanwhile, Sweetie slowly regained her own sight. When she saw a fluff of pink stuck under a couple pans, she ran over to have a look.

"Come on! Wake up already, Rarity!" said the rude Dash. "I know you're not actually hurt when you faint like that."

"Urgh... you certainly speak from the heart, Rainbow darling." I rubbed a hoof against my temple as I pulled myself off the couch to a standing position. "Wait..." I set my hoof down. "What are you doing here?"

"A.J. was filling me in on what happened to Spike, when I heard you scream." She chuckled. "The way Sweetie Belle told what happened after, you made a big sacrifice to save her tail."

"What do you mean by tha-" As I was brushing my mane back to a more presentable state, I caught sight of a straight cut where one of my curls should have been. "Oh..."

"Yeah, well... could you hold off on fainting again?" Rainbow tilted her head. "I think Twilight's about ready to bring Pinkie's thoughts back and I'd hate to have to re-tell you what happened all over again."

I smirked. "Whatever do you take me for, my dear?" I let my mane go back to where it would, save for the missing curl. " 'Tis hair. It will grow back eventually."

"Heh, that's more like it." Rainbow turned around.

We walked over to where the rest of our friends were standing. Aside from Twilight who was in the middle of casting her memory spell, Applejack, Fluttershy, Sweetie Belle, Spike, and the Cakes were standing a few feet away. We watched carefully as our pink friend slowly opened her eyes.

"Oh no." In a heartbeat, Pinkie Pie was hugging me and crying. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to ruin your coiffure! Please, please, please, forgive me!"

"Wow..." Rainbow blinked twice. "I never thought I'd see the day where Pinkie gets more upset over mane hair than Rarity."

I returned the hug more gently to Pinkie. "Water under a bridge, my friend. We know you weren't yourself."

"But that's just it! I was myself. I mean, my past self. I mean... guh!" Pinkie looked around, in hysterics. "And...And Spike, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and the twins... Oh gosh, so many others... I can't be safe to be around. I'm really, really sorry for what I put you through."

"W-Well, it looks like Twilight brought you back to your senses." Carrot Cake gave a reassuring smile. "We forgive you."

"Yes, all's well that ends well," added Cup Cake with a nod.

Pinkie sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I guess so. But it's going to be a long time before I forget all of these older things."

"You seem calmer now at least," Applejack adjusted her hat.

Fluttershy took a step closer. "Do you think you can tell us about your past self, now that you remember them?"

Pinkie Pie nodded while nibbling one of the hairy cupcakes. "Okay... I owe you guys at least that much."

My last memories of that life were as an academy student. It was a school for exceptional individuals. Allegedly, graduating there meant being set for life. Somebody there thought I was the exceptional author. I was a proud girl, so I accepted the offer without a second thought. But then, things started getting weird.

You see, I also had a split personality. I'm not sure when it started, but I noticed the signs like blackouts and people claiming to see me in areas that I was sure I had never been. Normally, the personalities can't remember each other's awareness. But it seems that reincarnating has given me both of them. Unlike the proud girl who would have been satisfied writing stories for a living, the second personality had less than wholesome desires.

As that other personality, I took pleasure in slowly plucking hairs off some... potential victims. It was mostly guys. No, it was always young men. Then, after getting their scent via the hairs, I'd find them again... and use my favorite scissors to hang them by their wrists or their elbows, depending on how long I thought that weight could support them. People couldn't ignore hanged men for very long. So, they gave this second personality of mine a nickname.

"Genocide Jill."

Applejack sat wide-eyed with a hoof over her chest. "That's the same name they gave to the culprit of that serial murder case."

"Now wait a minute," Fluttershy interrupted. "None of your... um... victims here in Equestria died."

Pinkie Pie looked down. "Back then, I... wasn't quite as picky about what happened to the bodies. I often slit wrists and ankles. I heard news that four of Genocide Jill's targets died from blood loss." She looked around slowly. "You still think it's okay for me to walk around freely?"

Rainbow flicked her tail idly. "I don't really get all of it, but... the gist of it is that you were pretty terrible, right?"

Pinkie turned her eyes to the floor in front of her again. "Yes. I was."

"But that was back whenever." Rainbow shrugged her wings. "The way you're talking about it now sounds like you really regret it."

Pinkie slowly nodded her head. "Yeah... I do."

"Then you're fine."

"Wait, what?" Pinkie looked up and blinked. She then spread her front hooves wide. "Are you cray-cray? I just admitted to being a dangerous killer! How is that fine?"

Rainbow smirked. "How many of your targets today did you make bleed to death?"

Pinkie slowly lowered her hooves back to floor level. "N...None."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, hanging ponies to leave for other friends to help out is a bit of a nuisance, but I wouldn't rank it as dangerous and lethal. Besides, it means that there was still some of the same ol' Pinkie Pie in you being her Pinkie Pie self. Taking great care not to hurt other ponies, baking sweets, and having a good laugh about the whole thing."

Pinkie sighed. "I... think I get what you're saying, but... I don't know. It'll take me a while to really... believe that."

"You don't have to believe me right now." Rainbow waved a hoof dismissively. "How about this? If there ever comes a time where you do intentionally destroy some pony's life, I'll sweep in and clobber you." She performed the motions for a silent Pinkie Promise. "Deal?"

Pinkie wiped her eyes again and giggled. "Oh, Dashie... you always know what to say to cheer me up." She leaned over and hugged her.

"Yeah..." Rainbow grunted against what looked like slightly too tight of a hug. "I'm a real riot."

Twilight cracked a smile. "Only Rainbow Dash could cheer someone up by promising reactive violence."

Aside from Pinkie and Rainbow who were busy hugging it out, everyone else started laughing at the nonsensical yet perfectly logical statement that Twilight made. I chuckled into my hoof, trying to contain myself from exaggeration. Failing that, I just cut loose with my guffaw.

Author's Note

Disclaimer: No cupcakes were made with body parts other than hair follicles during the making of this chapter. Any relation to real-time persons sharing names and descriptions are purely coincidental and unintentional.

Ch. 10: Take Your Time

Chapter 10: Take Your Time

The workload seemed to flow smoothly that day. I had restocked the quartz gems and cherry ribbons. Base design dresses were all set for the next two seasons. Two big orders, one small order, and five medium orders were already taken to the post office to be shipped out. Plans to meet with the out-of-town estate agent were made for the next Wednesday.

Non-business essentials were also all set. The kitchen was stocked, including my backup, emergency stash of frozen comfort. Sweetie Belle left with our parents earlier. Opalescence was in her own chambers with the temperature set just so. And I just finished scrubbing and sweeping the floors. After eating a sandwich and drinking some jasmine tea, it was one o'clock and I was suddenly free of both must-dos and probably-should-dos.

"Hmm... what to do..." I muttered to myself. "The Boutique has been fairly empty for customers today. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to head out for the rest of it." I gasped. "Idea! I should see if any pony else is open to a spa day."

I started to pull out a parchment and a pen to write down the emergency numbers, when it occurred to me that I didn't actually have a phone. I had a chuckle, glad that Desmond's instincts were still in me somewhere to add a little unpredictability to my day. My pocket watch went into my invisible inventory somewhere on my person, like it always did whenever I went out.

As it turned out, my usual friends were having some things to sort out in their own lives. Twilight was writing some letters to the wife of her human self. She knew she'd never receive them, but she felt the need to put those thoughts out in writing anyway. I agreed with Spike that he should probably stay with her to make sure she remained in an okay condition. Fluttershy had signed up for a narcotics 'nonymous group to help her old memories come to terms with her current, sober life. I respectfully decided not to ask for more details and wished her well.

Pinkie Pie had taken the day to make paper doll art. She called it a constructive direction for her scissor-happy side. She insisted that would take more time than she could spare. I learned to not question her unique logic a long time ago. Applejack did her best to sound polite as she declined the spa day offer. It seemed she was still mad at herself for even daring to live like a spoiled offspring and wanted to distance herself from that lifestyle as much as possible.

"But you're not that same person anymore, Applejack." I pointed out. "Who you are now is some pony who is proud of the hard work they accomplished through her own work and effort. That's far different than wanting everything handed to you on a platinum plate."

Applejack sighed before opening the pig sty. "I appreciate what you're saying, Rarity. Really, I do."

"Hmm..." I flicked my tail a little. "What if you thought of this not as ordering special treatment, but as a passing exchange for the work you've put in? Obviously, I'm not expecting you to do this every day. Just... once in a couple moons?"

"Maybe..." She finished her pouring task before coming back out of the sty. She turned around and whistled a low note and the pigs suddenly came running over. "Tell you what, let me go tell Granny where I'm going and I'll come right back out."

"Splendid." I smiled. "I just know we'll enjoy ourselves."

Rainbow Dash didn't answer the buzzer attached to her mailbox. I supposed it was a little too much to expect her to publicly show any desire for the delicate things in life. Still, it wasn't a complete loss.

There was a short line for the steam bath when we arrived at the spa. While Applejack held a place, I looked into getting a hooficure and a gentle nudge massage. The Blossom sisters even washed my face and applied fresh makeup free of charge. I hadn't realized that Rarity had come in so often. When I checked back in with the steam bath line, Applejack was toweled up and we were ready to go inside.

I sighed happily and made myself comfortable in the warm steam flow. My eyelids drooped of their own accord.

...

"Say, uh... Rarity?"

"Hmm?" I peeked over with the right eye.

Applejack rubbed her hooves together before holding them in front of the center of the room. "I was just thinking about... uh... hmm..." Her face did a half-frown. "Oh shoot. There's no gentle way to say it, so can I just say it?"

"Of course, Applejack." Both of my eyes were open now. "You've rarely required permission to speak your mind any of the other times we're together."

That got her to smile again. "Eh-heh, true. Have you had any more of those nightmares involving forced special ponies or life partners?"

I blinked. "Which nightmares are we talking about?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I didn't have them. I just thought you had mentioned that the first two involved me in some way. So... uh... are you okay with me being here... in the same room as you... and no pony else?"

"Hmm..." I glanced at the steam source for a couple seconds. Nodding once, I said, "I am. I know the real you isn't going to try something that deceptive. In fact, I'm even more confident in your trustworthiness now than I was before."

"Really?" She adjusted the towel over her mane.

I nodded again. "We've been through a lot of the same circumstances and I've grown to rely on your straightforward attitude, your reassuring presence, and most importantly... that we are friends. I refuse to doubt that for a minute."

She smiled and sat back. "Thank you. That means a lot. I guess I was worried for nothing."

I rubbed the sleeve on my robe for a stray piece of lint. "It's a fair worry to have had. I never did get around to letting you know if that was all okay."

"Maybe my recovered human memories had a part in bringing my worries to the forefront." She held her hoof up and swiveled it. "With twice the brains, I've found myself thinking a lot more about stuff than ever."

"I do partly understand that." I chuckled. "Sometimes I have to mentally tap myself to remember who I currently am."

"In my case, it's more of a mental buck."

This encouraged us to share a laugh. Perhaps the steam was getting to me. I didn't mind.

"I need you to do me a favor. Come at me at full speed."

"Oh! Are you practicing your last-second dodging?"

"Kind of... but not exactly. Listen, if something goes wrong and I don't quite avoid the impact right, promise me something."

"Huh?"

"When I come to, no matter what I say or do, convince me to go with you to see Twilight Sparkle. Tie me to your scooter and drag me if you have to. Just make sure you get me to her."

...

"What?"

"Squirt, please! This is important! Promise me!"

"Wait! If you actually get hurt, wouldn't it make more sense to go to the hospital?"

"Only if you injure my wing, and that's not the area I'm planning on leaving to chance."

"Now I'm really worried."

"I'll take full responsibility for whatever happens."

"Getting in trouble isn't what I'm worried about. I'm worried about you."

"It's a really small chance that you'll actually hurt me. So can you just promise the part about taking me to Twilight?"

"O...Okay... I promise I'll take you to Twilight if something goes wrong."

"Thanks, little buddy. I knew I could count on you."

Author's Note

The alternate chapter title I was considering was "Rarity's Day Off".

Ch. 11: Full Circle

Chapter 11: Full Circle

I found it rather strange in retrospect. Most of the time, our full group only got together during times of celebration or times of land-shaking crises. But ever since Celestia helped me settle the dissonance between the memories of my two lives, our main six plus others had been gathering almost every other day. The reasons were different, but they all revolved around some pony remembering who they used to be.

So it was, we were in Golden Oaks Library again. We were all waiting for the one to regain consciousness. This time, we had a slight change in the filly sitting around. Scootaloo was dragging her front hooves along the floor. The rest of her body was barely lifted off the ground by her frantic wings. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that she would be the most worried about the situation.

Spike had prepared tea and cookies and passed them around. I was amazed that he managed to keep both himself and the snacks from getting run over by the preoccupied Scootaloo going around in circles. Perhaps he was used to maneuvering around Twilight when she had one of her little episodes, no pun intended.

"Do you think we pressured Rainbow too much?" wondered Fluttershy.

"No way!" Pinkie snatched a couple extra cookies and hid them in her mane. "Dashie said she wanted to wait and we agreed that it was okay."

"And we made it clear that she needn't rush into this." I gently blew some of the steam over my cup of tea.

"Still, that doesn't mean she got the full message." Applejack's tail twitched. "I probably could have held back a little on the whole 'part of yourself' speech."

I gasped, faked a spit, clicked my tongue, and shushed in that order. "Please, you call what you told her a speech? Darling, your custom order for the rough draft of your Gala dress was longer than that."

"Wait, you still remember that order?" Applejack scratched the mane under her hat, then stopped to glance to the side. "Oh... I forgot who you were for a second. Forget I asked."

"No worries, darling." I waved a hoof dismissively. "I forgot who I was for at least two days, not including the time my memories were muddled and trying to fight each other for control."

Pinkie blinked. "I don't remember your memories duking it out."

"It's a figure of speech, Ms. Pie." I rolled my eyes. "What I mean is that I was very, very confused for what felt like a long time."

"Ohhhh." Pinkie nodded. "Okay!"

At this time, a door shut from upstairs. Multiple hoof steps clicked and echoed off the wooden walls. Twilight was leading slowly. Next to her was Rainbow Dash, holding a colorful ice-bag against her head. Scootaloo gasped, dropped her hind legs to the floor, and stared with wide eyes.

Fluttershy spoke up first. "How is she?"

"Well, it's a little grazed," said Twilight, "but she isn't bleeding. Once she woke up and gained awareness of her surroundings, I managed to cast the memory spell."

Twilight helped walk Rainbow over to a seat. Rainbow groaned, laid back, and closed her eye closest to the ice bag.

"You alright, Dash?" Spike untied his apron and hung it on one side of the snack cart.

"Yeah, great... never better..." Rainbow sighed. "Ask me again when my head stops pounding."

"What were you expecting to happen, pulling a stunt like that?" Applejack shook her head.

"I know, I know..." Rainbow clenched her teeth briefly. "This just seemed like the quickest way to get us all up to speed."

Pinkie leaned her head over, neck stretched across the whole length of the couch. "So... did it work? Who is past you?"

Rainbow closed her eye and chuckled. "A Blue Angel pilot. Go figure, huh?"

"Truly?" I smiled a little. "If that's the case, you probably have the most synergy between your lives out of all of us."

"I don't know." Rainbow turned to look to her right. "Aren't drug hippies supposed to be animal-lovers?"

"Hey..." Fluttershy mockingly acted offended before she giggled.

Rainbow turned to her left. "And who's to say Twilight can't find some woman to love in the near future?"

"Now hold on!" Twilight blushed as her tail straightened out. "I still don't fully know if that's appropriate! I mean, I'm not looking right now... not that I ever would! I mean, hold on!"

"And I suppose next you'll tell me that making a dress is just like mixing a drink?" I prodded.

"Or once a business person, always a business pony?" Applejack smirked.

"Or that random action runs in the reincarnation?" Pinkie snapped back to normal length and spread her hooves open. Confetti soon followed the edges of her reach.

At this point, all six of us had managed to devolve into laughs. Spike shrugged and chomped down a cookie while observing us. Scootaloo was looking around at us with a confused look on her face.

She leaned over near Spike. "I still don't get what's going on."

"Meh, apparently they're all living their second lives after living as some other creatures in another world and another time." He took a sip of tea. "At this point, I've just learned to roll with it."

Scootaloo shook her head and trotted up. "Rainbow Dash? I'm... really sorry about hurting you."

Rainbow shook her free hoof dismissively. "Nah, I'm over it. It's partially my own fault for insisting so much that you hit me. I should be sorry for making you worry so much. Since we're both apologizing, how about we just call it even?"

The poor filly looked like she was fighting really hard against shedding tears. "O-Okay."

"Aw, get up here." Rainbow opened her wings. "I'm not so cool that I can't accept a little sappiness now and again."

Scootaloo nodded and hopped up. She and her idol hugged it out. The sight was just so precious. I wish I had brought a camera. Then again, I might have gotten chewed out if I had. Rainbow could mistake such a lighthearted gesture as blackmail material to burn. It was all hypothetical anyway.

After a few minutes to calm down, Scootaloo sped home on her scooter. That left us: the six reincarnates and a dragon. It was about as normal as anything ever gets around here. Soon, the small talk turned into little short stories about our human lives. Twilight and I were telling the others about the television series.

"No way! For realsies?" Pinkie asked that before waving her hoof toward any direction she could think of, trying to greet whatever audience existed beyond the invisible fourth wall.

"And does it match up with our lives to a tee?" wondered Applejack.

"Well, there are some discrepancies," admitted Twilight. "I mean, I didn't sing that long about my brother before we went to Canterlot for the wedding."

"And the 'camera' didn't follow every single one of us all the time." I giggled. "That would have been too much to show in the half-hour run time every week."

"Hope it captured our good side, at least." Rainbow lifted the ice bag briefly before setting it back down.

I hummed. "Some good, some bad. I think they were going for a level of balance."

"When done right, a dramatic failure makes the eventual success truly shine." Twilight nodded.

"Kind of makes me want to watch it right now." Fluttershy smiled.

"So, has it ever shown events that are in the future?" wondered Spike.

"I don't know." I contracted my nonexistent lips. "I think someone leaked rough sketches from a fourth season episode, but I don't recall seeing an actual episode after Shining Armor and Princess Cadance got married."

Twilight nodded. "Yeah, the most recent part I ever saw was the first eight minutes of the third season. Something about a lost empire coming back and the princess sending me off to find out what's going on... but I've yet to see anything like that being mentioned in real life."

"Sounds pretty awesome," commented Rainbow. "I'm all for kicking the rear of another super-villain."

Applejack looked at her. "What does a super-villain have to do with a lost empire coming back?"

Rainbow's visible eye rolled. "Have you ever seen Star Wars?"

"Mm." Applejack nodded slowly. "Not a perfect comparison, but point taken."

Hours slipped by. The sun was setting by the time our collective voices calmed down. Applejack moved her hooves in a way that I could hear all of her joints cracking. She smiled and worked her way out of the library. Fluttershy followed soon after. Pinkie Pie threw a dart with her mane, and somehow hung onto that dart with her hoof to carry her out the door.

Twilight used her magic to float some of the dirty dishes. Together with Spike, she went to the kitchen to take care of all of that stuff. I thanked them for their pleasantries and hospitality, and turned to leave.

"Hey, Rarity?"

I looked back at the remaining occupant. "Yes, Rainbow?"

Rainbow pulled the ice pack off and held it next to her. A patch of her mane looked scraggy and down to a cluster of tiny follicles. The eye on that side of the face didn't look too bad, though there was a dark bruise just above that.

"I'm just wondering... when you first remembered you used to be a human... you didn't hit your head then, did you?"

"I... huh..." I slowly shook my head. "No, I suppose I did not. It happened right while I was finishing the touches on an ensemble. Next thing I knew, I sort of had amnesia of ever being Rarity and only knew my human life."

"Isn't that weird?" It looked like she was trying to raise her brow, but the bruise was making that hard to tell. "The rest of us had to hit our heads. I mean, Fluttershy fainted but her head hit the floor. So... that still counts, kind of."

"Our mental situations certainly are peculiar." My tail instinctively swung left once and right once. "And that's saying something, given our more recent history with insanity and/or panic. Panicking in front of a Cloudsdale audience, losing composure due to a slight mishap of a fashion show... that kind of thing."

Rainbow chuckled. "Yeah. I just wonder what made you special, in that you didn't have to whack yourself first."

I shrugged a shoulder. "I don't know, Rainbow Dash. Maybe some pony will tell us someday. Maybe we'll never know."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She groaned and rubbed her head with the pack (which at this point wiggled like only water was left in it). "Ugh... so much egg-head thinking in my brain. I think I was also a nerd in my past life."

"Well, you do need to keep in mind a lot of numbers when flying a plane," I pointed out.

"True..." Rainbow shook her head and sighed. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to ask you."

"Very well then." I continued on my way out the door. "Hopefully, you feel better the next time we meet."

"I will!" She raised the pack like a saggy fist.

Summer was moving into fall. Although the sun felt warm, there was a slight chill on the air. The pegasi must have been bringing in the cross-breezes that they could. I had packed a small, marble blue cloak that was just perfect for the occasional gust. That was what I put on before briskly trotting home.

"Fall is coming soon," I muttered as I walked. "Then winter will follow. That means we will have to start getting ready for Chri-er... Hearth's Warming." I hummed to myself. "I have a few ideas already to stay ahead of the trends, but what about the more personal attire?" I smiled and picked up my pace. "To the drawing board!"

A few more days passed by. One evening after finishing up some major orders, I decided to go out for another of my walks. I was wearing the red scarf and orange tail bow set specifically for today. No reason to go out without my best look, I reasoned. A few buildings were still in the repair stages after that Pinkie Pie clone fiasco. I shuddered to myself just remembering the ceaseless chatter and destruction.

I needed a drink of sorts. Contrary to what some might expect, I didn't remember actually getting to drink much during my past life as a bartender. It had been my job to stay sober enough to serve, tell pretenders that their crayon-drawn birthday cards were not acceptable currency, and to clean up after closing hours.

"Hmm," I muttered out loud. "Do I still have the know-how for that?"

At a calm pace, I trotted my way over to Martinis & Darts. It was an aptly named pub and informed its clients exactly what they could expect. I magically pulled the door open before stepping inside. It wasn't too different from how I remembered a typical Earth bar. Only instead of televisions hanging on the walls, there were three movie projectors depicting some prerecorded sporting events over near the side wall.

There were a few ponies scattered throughout the small establishment. One of them was over by the dartboard area, shaking a lot and tossing darts all around but never inside the circle. Two that were sitting next to each other were blankly watching one of the projections. I made my way over to a seat at the main bar when I spotted a familiar mane.

"Fluttershy?"

She nearly jumped backwards off the chair, barely grabbing the counter with her hooves in time. I held my breath as she struggled to right herself and the chair underneath herself. As soon as she looked stable, I exhaled and pulled up next to her.

Fluttershy pulled the long mane hairs away from her eyes with one hoof. "Oh, Rarity. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I could say the same for you." I idly skimmed through a menu. "Are you alright, darling?"

"Yes, I think so." She smiled in an attempt to be reassuring. "I just thought... maybe... one time at a place like this... might be okay."

"I'm sure it is, but..." I looked around briefly, seeing no one else paying us too terribly mind. "... are you as a whole okay with being here?"

She shook her head. "I'm not going to switch one addiction for another, if that's what you're really asking. I just... want one experience, and then it's back to my safety room for the next foreseeable nights."

I looked her over for a few seconds, then nodded. "Okay. I believe you."

She twiddled her hooves a bit. "So... um... would you happen to have any recommendations? I've never actually had a hard drink before."

"For real?" I opened my eyes wide. "I'm simultaneously shocked and proud of you for staying sober throughout both of your lives so far."

"Th-Thank you?" She scratched her mane in uncertainty.

"Hmm... have you had anything to eat yet this evening?" I wondered.

"Er, yes. I had a meal right after feeding all of my little friends." She tilted her head. "But... what does that have to do with drinks?"

"It's simple, dear Fluttershy." Idly, my tail brushed away a stray fuzz ball on Fluttershy's wing. "Every pony has their own tolerance level before the amount they drink becomes a problem. That tolerance can increase somewhat if you have something else in your stomach that can absorb that drink."

She held a hoof under her muzzle. "So... a starving man wouldn't be able to handle drinking as much as the person who just walked out after a buffet?"

"Exactly!" I gave her a nod and looked through the menu a little more thoroughly. "Since you've eaten, you shouldn't have to worry about limiting the type. Now, the quantity of drinks might still be an issue if you tackle too much on your first outing, but that doesn't mean we can't get creative with the flavors."

After a little insistence, I convinced the bartender to let me construct our beverages from its separated parts. I had to get creative with the proportions because the glasses didn't look like they would hold that much. Still, after a few delicate pours of the individual ingredients and a careful stirring, I managed to get it looking like the familiar color of a Long Island ice tea. One cross-section of a lemon went onto each glass before I floated over a couple bits to manager.

"I didn't know you could make an East Isle tea," they commented.

I chuckled. "Force of habit."

"Cheers/Cheers!" Fluttershy and I toasted before sipping.

"Huh... this is better than I was expecting." Fluttershy looked down at the contents in surprise.

I nodded. "I figured I shouldn't overwhelm a first-timer with something that tastes too heavy with hops or bitter root."

She nodded silently before taking another sip. I practically saw gears turning behind her eye. It wasn't quite the same kind of thought processes as Twilight went through whenever mumbling about something that held her super-focus. With Fluttershy, it was more of an internal thought, sealed away behind a one-way mirror. If you tried to look in, you would only see your reflection. But as much as I wanted to know, I decided to let time decide what she would allow herself to be said openly.

Her hooves pressed together with her glass between them. "Do you miss your old life?"

"Philosophy in a bar." I magically squeezed the lemon over my cup. "Where have I heard that one before?"

"I'm serious." Fluttershy frowned.

"I know you are." I nodded. "I'll admit, there are days where I'd rather deal with less magically created problems and more of the... um... I was going to say mundane, but..."

"Yes, it's hard to remember what mundane is after getting used to our current struggles." Fluttershy looked up at a blank spot on the ceiling.

"But these are still our lives." I poked the ice cube with a gentle magic nudge. "We're here now because our first lives ended."

"Yeah... I guess it was wrong for me to dwell on what isn't there anymore."

"It isn't wrong to remember what happened," I pointed out. "You just have to remember to come back and look at what's happening now."

Fluttershy gave me a wry smile. "Are you sure you were a bartender and not a counselor?"

I chuckled. "I had to wear many hats in my trade. Not all of them had a respective degree to back me up. That's where experience kicks in, and a little bit of luck." I took another sip from my drink. "Anyway, I miss my old life in some ways, but I won't mourn the loss. Desmond isn't dead. He just goes by a different name."

"Huh. That's a good way to look at it." Fluttershy nodded. "Thank you."

"No problem at all, darling."

Author's Note

I could probably keep this going, but I think it's time to move on to other things. This time, I'll use the green "C" rather than the red "C". Thank you all for your positive support and patience.