Celestia hummed contentedly to herself as she stirred the batter for her cake. Luna was in the shower. She could finally relax without her persistent sister tugging on her mane every five seconds. Luna always wanted to help her cook, and while her heart was in the right place, she was a bit a bit of a klutz and she didn't really help in the kitchen much.
Celestia pulled the spoon out of the batter to give it a lick and accidentally flicked it all over the counter. "Silly me!" She giggled. She took a cloth from the sink and went to wipe up the mess when something made her freeze suddenly.
A large, hairy, disgusting abomination was already cleaning the counter for her. With a big hairy tongue.
At first, she thought that the one of the palace cats had coughed up an enormous furball and it had rolled into the kitchen by accident. Then she realised it was a spider.
Celestia began to hyperventilate. While it was very thoughtful of the... arachnid to clean the counter for her, Celestia did not like spiders. She hated them. And that was because she suffered from a very severe case of arachnophobia.
She tried to think clearly, but her mind wasn't functioning properly. At all. All she could think was:
Spider spider spider spider spider spider spider spider spider spider spider huge disgusting hairy eight legged hideous gross horrible nasty beastly abhorrent awful dreadful ugly terrible...
This went on for about ten minutes.
After she had run out of disgusting things to say about the spider, Celestia finally thought of something that she could do.
KILL THE ARACHNID!!! KILL THE BEAST AND BE DONE WITH IT!!! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!
There was no time to waste. Celestia levitated an enormous rolling pin out of bottom draw (and made a mental note to apologise to the cook later) and raised it above her head. The spider was still licking up the cake batter from the counter and had no clue at all that he was about to meet his end. She edged closer and closer to the table, the rolling pin shaking as she got nearer to the spider.
KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!
When she was right next to the spider, she had a good view of its large, hairy buttocks. Disgusting. She let out an involuntary yelp.
Bad move.
The spider knew she was there. It turned around, eight large, evil, blood red, eyes looking up at her. Backing away, Celestia lost her grip on the rolling pin dropped the it on the floor.
SMASH
Spooked by the noise, the spider jumped and scuttled closer to Celestia. She let out a horrified screech and shot a laser beam straight at the spider. It missed and blew the bowl of cake mix to smithereens. Cake batter went everywhere. The spider narrowed its eyes and moved closer to Celestia.
"Go away!" She croaked. It ignored her and edged closer. "I-I'm warning you! I am the Princess of th-the Sun!" She raised her hooves into a fighting stance and hoped that she looked threatening. "I do not fear sp-sp-sp-spiders... AHH!"
The spider had leaped heroically off the table and landed next to Celestia's head. It crawled onto her horn and started licking cake mix off her horn.
Celestia passed out.
When she opened her eyes, she had yet another view of the bottom of a spider. Not a very pleasant sight to see after you've fainted.
"AHHH! GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF..." Celestia jumped up and started thrashing her horn around to flick the spider off. She rather hoped it would go flying out of the window.
No such luck.
It clung harder on to her horn and crawled down it. Celestia then realised she had been yelling 'get off' the whole time and was making quite a racket.
"GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF- EWWWW!!! GET OUT OF MY MANE!!!" The disgusting creature was clinging to the end of her mane.
Celestia made the spilt decision that she should have made half an hour ago - she levitated the spider out of her mane and made it explode.
She squeezed her eyes closed, dreading what she would see when she opened them. Finally, she slowly opened her eyes and cringed.
Eight spider legs were in all parts of the room. Celestia wiped spider spit from her hair, quite proud of herself.
"What do you think of that?" She said randomly to one of the spider legs.
It moved.
Celestia didn't hang around to see what would happen next. Screaming, she flew down the hallway and barged in on Luna. She wasn't in the shower.
The room was dripping wet and there were large hairy legs all over the place. Eight. Large. Hairy. Legs.
There was a scream and Celestia was drenched by flood of water from the ceiling. Spluttering and cursing, she made her way out of the stream of water and looked up. Luna was up there holding the shower nozzle.
"Luna!"
"Sorry! I thought you were... Uh..."
"A giant spider?" Celestia raised an eyebrow.
"No, uh... I thought you were going to... OH MY GOODNESS!!!" Luna screamed and flew out of the room.
"What the..." Celestia turned around and screamed as well: the spider legs were walking towards her ON THEIR OWN.
"EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW GROSS DISGUSTING HORRIBLE NASTY ABHORRENT FOUL @&$#!!!!"
Yelling and panicking, Celestia made for the door. She had just reached it when it slammed shut in her face.
"WHAT THE... LET ME OUT!!!"
The disembodied spider legs advanced upon her. One climbed onto her flank. Celestia started screaming to be let out and Luna started screaming to be let in. Discord hid in the walls enjoying the show.
"Oh, it's going to be getting worse in a few minutes my little Princesses," he chuckled, holding up a video recorder. "It's going to get much, much worse..."
Author's Note
Oh my god did I just call Luna a klutz? *starts to hyperventilate* That is not good...
