Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (and Other Hearth's Warming Carols)by Trick QuestionChaptersLet Us KnowOh Holy HorseThe EQG SongShe's Beginning to Act a Lot Like TwilightThorax the Red-Nosed BughorseFlurry Heart NightShipping TimesLet Us Know(sung to "Let It Snow") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Oh, the anticipation kills us But Hasbro just won't fulfill us When will the next season show? Let us know, let us know, let us know The writers tease us on Twitter As our hearts are all a-flitter Will the movie plot fit the show? Let us know, let us know, let us know When the truth is finally known Yeah, it's usually such a downer But unless Flurry's on the throne We promise that we won't drown her Don't matter if the season's awful Or if the show's writers waffle We need our fix from the show Let us know... Let us know..... Let us know........! Oh Holy Horse(sung to "Oh Holy Night") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Oh, holy horse, your Sun is brightly shining Is it strange to worship you, as a god? Fans of the show (some on the 'spectrum') whining Cartoon horse altars might be a sign we're odd It's horse shampoo... is this too far to take things? I wear a saddle... is that a little weird? Fall... on your hooves Oh deer, we've crossed the line now Oh horse, divine Oh holy pony mural on my walls Oh horse, divine...! Oh horse, what have we done... And in Her Name, we do dorky things... We pray for tol'rance, 'cause we need it badly Say "everypony" in public to strange looks Celestia, our Sun Perhaps some day we'll join thee Oh deer, oh deer Now it's clear, that we've gone too far Oh deer, oh deer Yes it's clear, that this is quite bizarre Oh deer, oh deeeeeeeeeer! Although weird, we still adore our star The EQG Song(sung to "The Christmas Song", a.k.a. "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Human ponies sound so very neat Hasbro must have seen our art But all the characters go to high school? That... does not seem very smart Everypony knows... That marketing calls all the shots They just want to sell some dolls With every movie skin gets more Caucasian We still watch? They've got us by the balls Oh Sunset Shimmer, please come back... Why'd they replace you with that pink and purple hack? Our hope is fading, and we're ignored I only hope the jerks aren't going to ruin Discord Strange land where nopony seems to age E'en the Dazzlings, eons old Although each new movie's much worse than the last, Hasbro's rolling... in gold Oh...! Although each new movie's much worse than the last, Hasbro's rolling... In..... Gold........! She's Beginning to Act a Lot Like Twilight(sung to "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight Ev'rywhere she goes OP unicorn with her spells Heart in which friendship newly dwells What Hasbro plans for Starlight, noone knows She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight The Twi we used to love, like Season two when she lost her $#!T And had character flaws that fit Now Star is Twi, while Twi rules from above A protege and a student who isn't quite prudent? That's what we already had Because character growth's not reciting an oath, and wings out of nowhere is sad And fans retreat to Fimfic street to write stories not half this bad Oh...! She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight Soon she'll have her wings Then the cycle will start anew Sunset Shimmer will come back, too And we'll buy... more..... things........! Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse(sung to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (Bughorse) Had a very shiny butt (like a mirror) And if you ever saw him (saw him) You would even say "Wait, what?" (no, seriously) All of his brother changelings (changelings) Used to laugh and call him names (like hsssssssssss) They wouldn't let poor Thorax (Thorax) Play in other bughorse games (like murder-rape) Then, at the end of season six Chrysalis came to say (MUA HA HA!) "Traitor, why do you look like that?" "Lime-sherbet colored Liberace's pet?" Then all the other changelings (changelings) Turned to gaudy colors, too (turquoise-orange?!!?!) Marketing gift from Hasbro: (Hasbro) "Happy Hearth's Warming, buck you!" (oh, deer) Flurry Heart Night(sung to "Silent Night") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Flurry Heart night What a strange sight Pony fans Filled with spite Retcon infant eyes (AJ's), but then Guess we won't see the Cake twins again Rake in piles of cash Rake in piles of cash Flurry Heart night What a strange sight Alicorn babe It's not right E'en Celestia cannot explain No reason offered why babies should reign Rake in piles of cash Rake in piles of cash Flurry Heart night What a strange sight Season six Not too bright Show might never explain these things Just accept it, the baby has wings Rake in piles of cash Rake in piles of cash Shipping Times(sung to "Jingle Bells") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Ohhhh......! Dash with Fluttershy, Or maybe Pinkie Pie, Or tragic shipping fics, That make you want to cry (boo hoo hoo) Belle with Button Mash, And Rarijack's not bad, But Twilight dating Flash, you say? I'll kick your flank, you cad! Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, you can't make us stop Every verse will get much worse and then we'll partner swap Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, listen to our song Unlike Sweetie Belle, we never learned that this was wrong Twi and Shining? Sure! Oh isn't incest sweet? Lunestia is pure, And MacJack such a treat Poly pony piles A Mane 6 orgy? Yes! What fun is there in making sense? Ship Discord with the rest Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, limits aren't our thing There's no guess for who'll be next in pony fiction fling Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, crackships are the best We pretend it's irony—but no, we're just repressed Crackle/Derpy works Tirek and Cheerilee While changelings with their holes Do things noone should see Zecora with a chair Sombra and Flurry Heart Wait, have we gone too far this time? No, this is just the start! Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, what is wrong with us Normal people cringe at horrors we freely discuss Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, rapid fiction fame I have found it's easiest when authors have no shame!
Let Us Know(sung to "Let It Snow") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Oh, the anticipation kills us But Hasbro just won't fulfill us When will the next season show? Let us know, let us know, let us know The writers tease us on Twitter As our hearts are all a-flitter Will the movie plot fit the show? Let us know, let us know, let us know When the truth is finally known Yeah, it's usually such a downer But unless Flurry's on the throne We promise that we won't drown her Don't matter if the season's awful Or if the show's writers waffle We need our fix from the show Let us know... Let us know..... Let us know........!
Oh Holy Horse(sung to "Oh Holy Night") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Oh, holy horse, your Sun is brightly shining Is it strange to worship you, as a god? Fans of the show (some on the 'spectrum') whining Cartoon horse altars might be a sign we're odd It's horse shampoo... is this too far to take things? I wear a saddle... is that a little weird? Fall... on your hooves Oh deer, we've crossed the line now Oh horse, divine Oh holy pony mural on my walls Oh horse, divine...! Oh horse, what have we done... And in Her Name, we do dorky things... We pray for tol'rance, 'cause we need it badly Say "everypony" in public to strange looks Celestia, our Sun Perhaps some day we'll join thee Oh deer, oh deer Now it's clear, that we've gone too far Oh deer, oh deer Yes it's clear, that this is quite bizarre Oh deer, oh deeeeeeeeeer! Although weird, we still adore our star
The EQG Song(sung to "The Christmas Song", a.k.a. "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Human ponies sound so very neat Hasbro must have seen our art But all the characters go to high school? That... does not seem very smart Everypony knows... That marketing calls all the shots They just want to sell some dolls With every movie skin gets more Caucasian We still watch? They've got us by the balls Oh Sunset Shimmer, please come back... Why'd they replace you with that pink and purple hack? Our hope is fading, and we're ignored I only hope the jerks aren't going to ruin Discord Strange land where nopony seems to age E'en the Dazzlings, eons old Although each new movie's much worse than the last, Hasbro's rolling... in gold Oh...! Although each new movie's much worse than the last, Hasbro's rolling... In..... Gold........!
She's Beginning to Act a Lot Like Twilight(sung to "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight Ev'rywhere she goes OP unicorn with her spells Heart in which friendship newly dwells What Hasbro plans for Starlight, noone knows She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight The Twi we used to love, like Season two when she lost her $#!T And had character flaws that fit Now Star is Twi, while Twi rules from above A protege and a student who isn't quite prudent? That's what we already had Because character growth's not reciting an oath, and wings out of nowhere is sad And fans retreat to Fimfic street to write stories not half this bad Oh...! She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight Soon she'll have her wings Then the cycle will start anew Sunset Shimmer will come back, too And we'll buy... more..... things........!
Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse(sung to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (Bughorse) Had a very shiny butt (like a mirror) And if you ever saw him (saw him) You would even say "Wait, what?" (no, seriously) All of his brother changelings (changelings) Used to laugh and call him names (like hsssssssssss) They wouldn't let poor Thorax (Thorax) Play in other bughorse games (like murder-rape) Then, at the end of season six Chrysalis came to say (MUA HA HA!) "Traitor, why do you look like that?" "Lime-sherbet colored Liberace's pet?" Then all the other changelings (changelings) Turned to gaudy colors, too (turquoise-orange?!!?!) Marketing gift from Hasbro: (Hasbro) "Happy Hearth's Warming, buck you!" (oh, deer)
Flurry Heart Night(sung to "Silent Night") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Flurry Heart night What a strange sight Pony fans Filled with spite Retcon infant eyes (AJ's), but then Guess we won't see the Cake twins again Rake in piles of cash Rake in piles of cash Flurry Heart night What a strange sight Alicorn babe It's not right E'en Celestia cannot explain No reason offered why babies should reign Rake in piles of cash Rake in piles of cash Flurry Heart night What a strange sight Season six Not too bright Show might never explain these things Just accept it, the baby has wings Rake in piles of cash Rake in piles of cash
Shipping Times(sung to "Jingle Bells") Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality. Ohhhh......! Dash with Fluttershy, Or maybe Pinkie Pie, Or tragic shipping fics, That make you want to cry (boo hoo hoo) Belle with Button Mash, And Rarijack's not bad, But Twilight dating Flash, you say? I'll kick your flank, you cad! Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, you can't make us stop Every verse will get much worse and then we'll partner swap Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, listen to our song Unlike Sweetie Belle, we never learned that this was wrong Twi and Shining? Sure! Oh isn't incest sweet? Lunestia is pure, And MacJack such a treat Poly pony piles A Mane 6 orgy? Yes! What fun is there in making sense? Ship Discord with the rest Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, limits aren't our thing There's no guess for who'll be next in pony fiction fling Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, crackships are the best We pretend it's irony—but no, we're just repressed Crackle/Derpy works Tirek and Cheerilee While changelings with their holes Do things noone should see Zecora with a chair Sombra and Flurry Heart Wait, have we gone too far this time? No, this is just the start! Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, what is wrong with us Normal people cringe at horrors we freely discuss Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, rapid fiction fame I have found it's easiest when authors have no shame!
