Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (and Other Hearth's Warming Carols)

by Trick Question

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Thorax, Main 6, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Flurry Heart
Length: 1161

The gaudiest bughorse of them all invites you to sing along to all your favorite "Why, FiM, why?!" moments!

The gaudiest bughorse of them all invites you to sing along to all your favorite "Why, FiM, why?!" moments.

Each song now contains audio!

Published 2016-11-27 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-27 18:00:01 UTC

Let Us Know

(sung to "Let It Snow")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Oh, the anticipation kills us
But Hasbro just won't fulfill us
When will the next season show?
Let us know, let us know, let us know

The writers tease us on Twitter
As our hearts are all a-flitter
Will the movie plot fit the show?
Let us know, let us know, let us know

When the truth is finally known
Yeah, it's usually such a downer
But unless Flurry's on the throne
We promise that we won't drown her

Don't matter if the season's awful
Or if the show's writers waffle
We need our fix from the show
Let us know...
Let us know.....
Let us know........!

Oh Holy Horse

(sung to "Oh Holy Night")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Oh, holy horse, your Sun is brightly shining
Is it strange to worship you, as a god?
Fans of the show (some on the 'spectrum') whining
Cartoon horse altars might be a sign we're odd

It's horse shampoo... is this too far to take things?
I wear a saddle... is that a little weird?

Fall... on your hooves
Oh deer, we've crossed the line now
Oh horse, divine
Oh holy pony mural on my walls
Oh horse, divine...!
Oh horse, what have we done...

And in Her Name, we do dorky things...

We pray for tol'rance, 'cause we need it badly
Say "everypony" in public to strange looks

Celestia, our Sun
Perhaps some day we'll join thee
Oh deer, oh deer
Now it's clear, that we've gone too far
Oh deer, oh deer
Yes it's clear, that this is quite bizarre
Oh deer, oh deeeeeeeeeer!
Although weird, we still adore our star

The EQG Song

(sung to "The Christmas Song", a.k.a. "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Human ponies sound so very neat
Hasbro must have seen our art
But all the characters go to high school?
That... does not seem very smart

Everypony knows...
That marketing calls all the shots
They just want to sell some dolls
With every movie skin gets more Caucasian
We still watch? They've got us by the balls

Oh Sunset Shimmer, please come back...
Why'd they replace you with that pink and purple hack?
Our hope is fading, and we're ignored
I only hope the jerks aren't going to ruin Discord

Strange land where nopony seems to age
E'en the Dazzlings, eons old
Although each new movie's much worse than the last,
Hasbro's rolling... in gold

Oh...!
Although each new movie's much worse than the last,
Hasbro's rolling...
In.....
Gold........!

She's Beginning to Act a Lot Like Twilight

(sung to "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight
Ev'rywhere she goes
OP unicorn with her spells
Heart in which friendship newly dwells
What Hasbro plans for Starlight, noone knows

She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight
The Twi we used to love, like
Season two when she lost her $#!T
And had character flaws that fit
Now Star is Twi, while Twi rules from above

A protege and a student who isn't quite prudent? That's what we already had
Because character growth's not reciting an oath, and wings out of nowhere is sad
And fans retreat to Fimfic street to write stories not half this bad

Oh...!

She's beginning to act a lot like Twilight
Soon she'll have her wings
Then the cycle will start anew
Sunset Shimmer will come back, too
And we'll buy...
more.....
things........!

Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse

(sung to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Thorax the Red-Nosed Bughorse (Bughorse)
Had a very shiny butt (like a mirror)
And if you ever saw him (saw him)
You would even say "Wait, what?" (no, seriously)

All of his brother changelings (changelings)
Used to laugh and call him names (like hsssssssssss)
They wouldn't let poor Thorax (Thorax)
Play in other bughorse games (like murder-rape)

Then, at the end of season six
Chrysalis came to say (MUA HA HA!)
"Traitor, why do you look like that?"
"Lime-sherbet colored Liberace's pet?"

Then all the other changelings (changelings)
Turned to gaudy colors, too (turquoise-orange?!!?!)
Marketing gift from Hasbro: (Hasbro)
"Happy Hearth's Warming, buck you!" (oh, deer)

Flurry Heart Night

(sung to "Silent Night")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Flurry Heart night
What a strange sight
Pony fans
Filled with spite
Retcon infant eyes (AJ's), but then
Guess we won't see the Cake twins again
Rake in piles of cash
Rake in piles of cash

Flurry Heart night
What a strange sight
Alicorn babe
It's not right
E'en Celestia cannot explain
No reason offered why babies should reign
Rake in piles of cash
Rake in piles of cash

Flurry Heart night
What a strange sight
Season six
Not too bright
Show might never explain these things
Just accept it, the baby has wings
Rake in piles of cash
Rake in piles of cash

Shipping Times

(sung to "Jingle Bells")

Sung by me, a capella, in a single take with no audio editing. Don't expect quality.

Ohhhh......!

Dash with Fluttershy,
Or maybe Pinkie Pie,
Or tragic shipping fics,
That make you want to cry (boo hoo hoo)

Belle with Button Mash,
And Rarijack's not bad,
But Twilight dating Flash, you say?
I'll kick your flank, you cad!

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, you can't make us stop
Every verse will get much worse and then we'll partner swap
Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, listen to our song
Unlike Sweetie Belle, we never learned that this was wrong

Twi and Shining? Sure!
Oh isn't incest sweet?
Lunestia is pure,
And MacJack such a treat

Poly pony piles
A Mane 6 orgy? Yes!
What fun is there in making sense?
Ship Discord with the rest

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, limits aren't our thing
There's no guess for who'll be next in pony fiction fling
Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, crackships are the best
We pretend it's irony—but no, we're just repressed

Crackle/Derpy works
Tirek and Cheerilee
While changelings with their holes
Do things noone should see

Zecora with a chair
Sombra and Flurry Heart
Wait, have we gone too far this time?
No, this is just the start!

Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, what is wrong with us
Normal people cringe at horrors we freely discuss
Oh! Shipping times, horse thoughtcrimes, rapid fiction fame
I have found it's easiest when authors have no shame!