Thorax's Origin
Optional Canon
Uh, hi, my name is Thorax. I'm a changeling. Don't ask me, it's the name my parents chose for me. I think it was their idea of a joke. Uh, are you sure you really want to waste time talking to me? I really don't have anything interesting to talk about.
Well... if you insist. Once upon a time, a changeling hatched in the nursery hive. My hatching wasn't anything special, or at least it wasn't supposed to be. Changelings typically lay their eggs at the same time, so we all hatch at about the same time, too. This is so Our Queen will always be the first thing we see. Even after the reformations, our loyalty was supposed to be for Swarm and Hive, not individual families.
Some say that I was born different? Well, they're right. I do owe Queen Chrysalis something; if not for her, I'd have been sentenced to life as a sideshow freak for the crime of being born with slightly different coloring, banned from ever having a family. She's also the reason why I was born with a name, not a number.
I didn't know what I was, or what anything was after I hatched, but I escaped my egg without fear. I was excited at this new world I'd discovered beyond the inside of my tight little egg, eager for what and who I'd meet. But unlike my nest mates, when I saw Her for the first time, I didn't feel the urge to crawl up to her. She smelled wrong. I didn't have words for anything yet, I didn't know what messages faces gave, but she smelled bad. It was like poison... hate, rage, revulsion. If new-hatch nymphs could think in words, mine would've been: 'I wanna go back in the shell now.'
You think because my carapace is a different color than normal, like Queen Chrysalis' carapace is a different color means we're related and we must be related to the ancient zebra alicorn Queen Parabola? Changelings with odd colored carapaces or being slightly different from the template hatching aren't common, but we aren't unheard of.
Can you imagine me as royalty? ... Why are you all grinning like that?
Though Queen Chrysalis did eventually state that she was a descendant of Queen Parabola's bloodline, no changeling ever proved her right or wrong. But it's the least crazy theory I've heard about her.
One theory claimed that she was Luna and Celestia's sister, who rejected having love magic and was cursed to become 'ugly,' and the magic went to Princess Cadenza instead. Another said that she was a clone of Princess Cadenza. Yet another said Discord made her into a monster by granting her wish to be an Alicorn in a sick way. Then there was the one that claimed us changelings were all zombie insects created from a rotten acorn that fell into a slime pit full of pony corpses that grew into a carnivorous plant that ate flies.
My theory is that she spread most of the rumors herself so noling could guess where she really came from.
Thanks to Chrysalis, I knew my parents, they cared about me, they looked after me... and told me I needed to be seen and not heard, with my... 'unique views.'
I watched the arena games, the same as any young changeling; watching criminals having all the love sucked out of them until their empty carapaces fell apart. And yes, I KNOW there's no way you should be able to remember something that happened right after you hatched, but I did all the same. I remembered that feeling of being next to a barrel of toxic waste in changeling form. And I knew I HATED violence, it was ugly and pointless, and I hated taking love. The problem was I was surrounded by young changelings who did love the violence, and bragged to each other about all the love they'd bring back to the hive from the wild cattle and make their parents proud after they enlisted.
I was told that with Queen Chrysalis as our leader, deviants like me weren't treated as inferior anymore, we weren't treated as 'inferior changelings', or 'not really part of the hive.' So why weren't our cattle: the zebra?
Whether they were evolved into changelings or not, weren't they eager and willing to help the hive like the rest of us? This was their home too. Chrysalis had given our cattle more free-range freedom than the previous queen, I was told. Some said too much freedom. I wondered if we'd given enough. Why have them mind controlled at all? Weren't we all one hive? They did their parts to sustain the hive, and so did we. We didn't need to be mind controlled to do what was best for the Swarm, did we? And Chrysalis had eliminated the caste system so every changeling could be what they wished to be... so why not the zebra?
I remember our teacher, Shield Bug, saying:
"We can't feed on each other's love. The cattle are the only ones who can produce love, it's their role, the role only they can fulfill. It's their responsibility to the hive."
Nonetheless, I tried to be friends with the zebra cattle... I really truly did... but I always felt this... distance between us. Like they couldn't see past me as a 'master'. I wanted to make friends with my fellow changelings but... I could be in a Swarm and still alone. I liked what everyling else didn't, and didn't like what everyling else did. What I was disgusted by, noling else battered an eyelash at, and what I thought were common sense questions, they reared back from me in disgust. I cried at what everyling else laughed at, I cringed when everyling else cheered, I smiled at what my classmates couldn't stop talking about how stupid it was. I was a freak worse than any Deviant.
All of us in the Swarm heard how we were going to conquer Equestria, the land of love and honey. It was for their own good after all.
Then I made the mistake of saying what I thought about that.
"Are you saying you don't think we can win?!"
"No... I'm saying it's wrong."
I really shot myself in the leg there, because pacifism like mine is considered a sign of insanity in the Hive. I was already considered odd for trying to be 'too friendly' with the cattle. I had the choices of being 'gotten rid of' to protect the gene pool, being 'cured' by our doctors, or enlisting in the army to prove my loyalty to the Swarm. I cried myself to sleep, and I prepared myself to refuse to enlist or be 'cured' of who I was.
Except someling 'volunteered' me instead. I still don't know who. Maybe one of the Hive Masters thought they were saving my life, or Chrysalis thought I'd make a great propaganda tool at how I'd 'seen the darkness.' I lacked the spine to find out who was behind my 'volunteering' or contradict it in any way, but I also had no heart for fighting. My test results all assigned me the status of 'expendable grunt.'
Why didn't Chrysalis just kill me or cast me out of the Hive? It's bad press to kill or 'correct' a changeling who's 'come to their senses.' Why didn't she kill me or banish me before that? I hadn't spoke out what I thought of her invasion before that. Even she's not insane enough to execute 'potential-potential' traitors...
During the invasion I dragged my hooves through everything; instead of replacing a guard I disguised myself as a training dummy, a poniquin, a statue, a table, and a trash can. The less said about that last one, the better.
You're wondering how I could do that? I'm a deviant. Unlike other changelings, I have a lot fewer limits on what I can shapeshift into. I kept this hidden from everyling. Even my parents didn't know. I knew that Queen Chrysalis really liked to use deviants who showed exceptional gifts as her secret weapons. That would have been my worst nightmare.
Sorry if the stuff I say is out of order. I was kinda stressed, low on sleep, and my memory might've been addled by all that.
Being an expendable grunt, I wasn't told anything. I didn't even KNOW about General Lone Ranger until after the battle was over. I still wonder what Chrysalis pretended to offer him, to make him think she was being fooled by him instead of the other way around. It's not like she went 'I'm going to invade your kingdom', and he pretended to go 'okay'. Could it? Was he that crazy?
The night before I dreamed Sweetie Belle was now the beloved Queen of the changelings,
My dream self was better off, and Queen Sweetie began giving love back to the husk ponies (all of Equestria) and evolving her friends and loved ones into changelings. She'd 'gotten rid of' Princess Pitcher Plant, the heads of Equus' other immortals were on Chrysalis' wall, and Chrysalis was reduced to a bloated love battery.
Then I dreamed the Great Curser took over the world, and we changelings were the few left who could resist him. Chrysalis gave all her love to Cadenza, Pitcher Plant swore her loyalty to her 'whole' Queen, and I became the first changeling for my carapace to turn white with my holes vanishing and gaining butterfly wings with feelings. Me and Pitcher Plant actually became friends, and we both managed to survive to old age fighting his twin purple loonies as our teammates came and went.
I didn't have time to dwell on any of this, because as I said, the next morning the invasion came. I looked the other way, kept to the back of the swarm, did everything I could so I wouldn't have to hurt another thinking being. Some of my 'teammates' called me coward. Yeah, it took so much bravery to slam unarmed aristocrats and terrified castle staff to the ground and suck the love of them!
No I wasn't worried about the Moon Queen or the ponies who got thrown over the horizon by the queen and the brainwashed Captain Shining Armor, I mean, I know pegasi can survive getting through across a city, and we could survive it no problem, so of course they could survive that... right?
I couldn't take this insanity. I hid in the one place that neither Chrysalis nor any of her Swarm would ever give a second look... in a church, and shapeshifted into a statue. Who knew that all of Equestria's free heroes would get the exact same idea?
I had no idea who the white unicorn stallion with the real Cadenza was, I'd never even HEARD of Prince Blueblood until the rebels in the church mentioned his name. I certainly didn't know anypony named Arcane Spell. Maybe I should've paid more attention at orientation?
I'd never known Moth, she spent so much time away from the Hive to begin with, and now I kinda wish that I'd gotten to know her better. I had no idea there were other changelings who thought like me. I was scared out of my wits the whole time. I was an enemy soldier, and I'd seen what Princess Luna had tried to do to Queen Chrysalis. And I saw how trigger happy these ponies were whenever they thought a pony was a changeling or was under mind control. I actually take pride in that when their paranoia got the best of them, I was still able to sustain my shape when they used me as a club.
Thanks to the mysterious power of Sweetie Belle's 'Sweet Music' song, I didn't suffer from hunger during the whole thing, since I wasn't doing much other than holding my stone form.
So I was a witness to everything, a fly on the wall, ironically, staying a statue even while sleeping. I saw them talking, I saw them conflicting over different ideas and working it out. I saw Twilight submitting herself for punishment by turning herself into a nymph so Cadenza could spank her. I saw Moon Dancer say how she believed in Twilight where the others hadn't, but I could smell on them, Moon Dancer's faith had been growing brittle, while the others had warmed up and embraced the true Twilight in the meantime, rather than the Twilight Sparkle that only existed in their heads.
I'd never considered what being under changeling mind control magic was actually like. The zebra always seemed fine, and Applejack, Sweetie Belle, Twilight Sparkle, Moon Dancer, Spike, Shining Armor, that mysterious old unicorn, all the geassed Canterlot ponies, were all happy and loving to me too. Then the herd had to help Moon Dancer through the resulting trauma that I could feel burning on my skin from her.
My mind magic? To be honest... I kinda suck at it. I'd seen it done in school demonstration on zebras... and it always felt creepy to me. How could I be sure anything I'd done was real? The Queen said we didn't do it to fellow changelings, of course, but I never liked it, which only worsened my reputation, and earned me more lectures from my parents on the importance of keeping my opinions to myself.
Lemon Hearts' familiars were just plain freaky to me! Imagine if ROCKS suddenly had blood and were breathing; that's how unsettling it was.
After learning that Fluttershy's split personality filly was the Great Curser's nymph? That almost made me break character and fly screaming from the church. I saw the true strength of earth ponies firsthoof, too.
I was stunned when Bon Bon forgave Moth for giving her false memories. At that time, I wasn't sure if I could even forgive myself for being involved in the invasion at all. I'd heard about changelings who got 'too much' into their role, who 'went crazy' and related more with the cattle than other changelings. But Moth still knew she was a changeling. And Bon Bon insisted that the time they had spent together was real. Even if Lyra wasn't too happy about it, she still accepted it!
And that was saying nothing compared to Fluttershy comforting Moth... what Fluttershy said stunned me too, it was overwhelming, unbelievable, but it was everything I'd ever WANTED to believe about myself and my people! And she'd known about rogue changelings, but had kept it hidden for THEIR sake. We were meant to exist together, not just be predators and prey. I'm not sure if I'd make Fluttershy my new goddess like Moth did, though.
I still can't believe what I heard about Cobweb being Trixie, who was supposed to be dead by now. And Trixie, this glorified birthday magician, managing to stand hoof to hoof against Twilight Sparkle, magic in the shape of a pony herself, and actually last long enough for Princess Cadenza to awaken her... or that Cadenza was able to undo Chrysalis' best geass herself. First rule of the queen, she always had lies within lies, it was her best weapon.
I honestly didn't realize the theater was a trap, I didn't even know she could channel her magic like that! I visited Dustmite after I found out it was her who Chrysalis used as a proxy. I was in awe when I heard Cadenza had healed Dustmite, an enemy.
Me not knowing goes double for the Queen WANTING the ponies to get the Elements back after all her other schemes had fallen apart and she just stopped caring if the changeling held onto Canterlot or not and she just wanted to become an Alicorn or something, but I know that's getting ahead.
I was later shocked by how much that music hall meant to some ponies. The hive is ever changing. Chambers are there one day and gone the next, so there's nothing to get attached to.
I'm not surprised that Chrysalis was able to trick Applejack. Her performances were second to none, of course she could weave a masterfully convincing deception without outright lying. The welcome Applejack got from all her friends and family at the church, it was one of the biggest power boasts I'd ever gotten. Never mind how Applejack, the mare who was supposed to be Honesty itself in the body of a pony, was the one most accepting of Moth, who had become trapped by her own lies, and the most forgiving.
The sight of Applejack sleeping next to Apple Bloom (after Cadenza ordered Applejack to get some sleep) was also a big boost. Love doesn't need to be said with words or objects or even gestures to be expressed.
When they talked about Twilight's fight with Shining Armor, I was on the edge of my seat, Chrysalis' plan to force the siblings to battle to the death was cruel even for her.
When the queen's army was exposed to the Canterlot ponies? From her point of view, I think, all Chrysalis had to do to keep her secret hidden from Canterlot was to let Sweetie Belle die. I'd never heard of her being so addled that she forgot to shape change before...
I saw from Scootaloo that ponies really do make a big deal about getting a picture on your butt. I guess her cutie mark might be an even bigger deal with her being part pony... huh? You didn't know one of her parents was part changeling? I thought it was obvious.
I don't know WHAT she and Twilight Sparkle said to each other so they could trust each other again, but I could FEEL that it was definitely something heartfelt. I saw Rarity reveal her custom armor that would inspire ponies and so much more! These ponies weren't love batteries, and they weren't dumb cattle who needed 'superior' changeling wisdom to protect them from themselves. For the record, I agreed with Silver Tongue that bringing nymphs into this was awful, and they should have just helped from the sidelines.
When Lady Sweetie Belle begged the Queen to just give up and she turned her down? That's the one time I've EVER heard the Queen sound SAD about something!
Since I hid after the Queen made her big move, I didn't see a lot from my own side, I was a faceless pawn, I wasn't exactly privy to private meetings before hoof.
I had no idea what happened to Kabuto, or Digger Wasp, or Hercules Beetle, until after the occupation was over. (I could barely believe ANYLING except the Queen could EVER beat Hercules!) I didn't feel sorry at all for Kabuto being banished to the sun.
Then came the epic battle of Queen Chrysalis with her entire plan exposed and all of the ponies' friends back to themselves, with most of the Swarm now cooped up in Canterlot Castle. And THAT is when I finally sneaked out. I read about the big details of what happened later in the papers. I arrived late to the big showdown, so it was confusion and madness to me. So many ponies fighting the Swarm, so many of my Hives-mates fighting these ponies, I couldn't make head or tails of it, it was bedlam.
I did the only thing I could and kept my head down as the armies crashed against each other. I was confused and bewildered at the strange love bags that were tipping the scales of the battle in the ponies' favor, and why Her Majesty was using Princess Cadenza's form even now. And now Cadenza was challenging Chrysalis for control of the Swarm. Locust and the rest willing to give everything for our queen, and the non-lings doing their best to stop them. Chrysalis and Cadenza's fight took them out of sight!
It amazed me again, these ponies, Chrysalis was their enemy, she wasn't sorry for what she did... and they still felt sorry for her when she...
Eventually, there came the big boom, and I followed it, and I saw Queen Chrysalis die, and a baby zebra alicorn... crawl out of her ashes? Had I been hit in the head? Hallucination or not Queen Cadenza declared the fighting over, and the Swarm obeyed. And you know the rest by now. The wedding to end all weddings.
I heard every word Cadenza and others said about it being a self-fulfilling prophecy with us hiding ourselves and that ponies would fear and not understand us. Yes, I got the nightmares from Princess Luna the same as every other changeling soldier. And I put in my hours to help repair the war damage to Canterlot. And I REALLY got the stink eye along with others from construction worker ponies who felt they were being cheated out of a job just for the sake of teaching us an object lesson. In particular when we'd used many of them for slave labor to build The Rune that would supposedly remake Equestria for the changelings, but never got finished because of four little nymphs and... maybe a dragon, I wasn't there.
I was actually sitting in a bar disguised as a dog, as Captain Death Stalker was talking about Twilight Sparkle. He'd been her personal minion while she'd been brainwashed, and even though they fought during the big battle, Twilight still wanted to be friends afterwards.
Then came Queen Cadenza's public letters, that we misunderstood to thinking it meant we couldn't use our magic at all. And one pony taking the chance to show me exactly what he thought of changelings before the royal guards stopped them.
Later... I began to get news that Queen Chrysalis' adopted heir, Pitcher Plant, back at the Hive had refused to formally acknowledge Queen Cadenza as our new Queen. She said how she was made Chrysalis' heir BEFORE any of this. Declaring herself 'the leader of the true changelings.' She had taken anything of value she could carry, with whatever changelings would follow her, and relocated to some ancient Dark Castle that Trolls apparently once used to rule thousands of years ago that Chrysalis had shown her once or twice. I'd heard... stories about that gloomy, forbidding fortress.
... As for me? I escaped up north the moment the construction project would let me go. Away from Canterlot, away from the war. I'd seen the best of ponies and the worst of ponies. I don't think ponies are bad, ignorant or cruel, I think that changelings like me have left too big a stain for it all to be forgiven and forgotten.
Yes, you heard me right, call me stupid, call me a coward, I don't care. I was walking away from a new changeling queen who promised everything I wanted, and I know she's going to try, and so are Twilight and her friends and all their friends, but... Our new Queen can say that things will be different, but ponies and changelings won't really change, and they won't forgive, not today, maybe not for a long time.
I saw Bon Bon and Lyra Heartstring's nymph, Tootsie Flute, look at us with awe and wonder, not fear and disgust. As long as nymphs like her exist, there's hope. But right here? Right now? Changelings like us? We're minions, we're criminals. It didn't matter that I hadn't harmed a pony in my life. It didn't matter that I'd been conscripted against my will. That I hadn't held a pony prisoner or forcibly fed on one in my life.
I couldn't do it... I couldn't be brave like Moth and the other rebels. I had my chance, and I was the same coward I've always been.
I continue to fly north as the weather turns colder. Even when I was surrounded by my hive, I was alone, and I am alone still. Who could ever believe that a changeling can change?
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Hang in there, young one. You might just be surprised, someday.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Half-Light Dawn): That's right! Thorax can't be sad forever, can he? He'll become friends with Spike, and Spike will get to show what true courage is!)
(Interviewer's Notes (Half-Light Noon): Perhaps... but is there really a need for that here? We don't need to shove in events from the Heart World just because we 'have to'. I mean, the Flutterponies are gonna come back now, and changelings are done living like vampires. I don't mean to sound heartless, but does Thorax NEED to become friends with Spike? Does he NEED to become the first aurora changeling?)
(Interviewer's Notes (Half-Light Dusk): There is one thread that can connect it all together, and allow Thorax to become the savior he is in the Heart World... Cadence may have free changelings to coexist with other ponies... And Apple Bloom brought back the Flutterponies. Thorax will allow changelings to grow BEYOND the Hearts and Hooves curse...)
(Interviewer's Notes (Half-Light Noon): If you ask me, those new forms from the Heart World look like something the northern lights puked on.)
(Interviewer's Notes (Half-Light Dusk): If that is what they chose. Whether changelings choose to exist beyond the curse, or accept it as a part of themselves, that is up to them.)
--
"It is! I mean, I am! It's me, Spike! Spike the Brave and Glorious? I'm sure you've heard of me."
"Nope. But I was raised under an evil queen. I'm Thorax. I can't believe you want to help me."
'I've always been afraid. But maybe... I don't have to be.'
Author's Note
OPTIONAL-CANON!!!
Edited and proof-read by docontra
Proof read and edited by Mtangalion
Edited by Louis Badalament
Been working on this for months, hit a lot of road blocks with this. Basically this is Thorax's tale of how he fits into the Pony POV Universe. Not my strongest work.
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE check out the ton of recursive fanfics of this fanfiction series. A lot of heart went into them! They also answer a lot of unaswered questions. http://mlp-pony-pov-series.deviantart.com/ For heaven sake they rock! Kendell2 and Oracle Mask and Richforce and Ardashir and Jawmax and Persona22 and Dragon of Twilight and ItsFromPeople and all the rest!!! http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/journal/Pony-POV-Series-Fanworks-fanmedia-By-Category-332817406 Seriously, they rock.
JOIN THE PONY POV SERIES GROUP! http://mlp-pony-pov-series.deviantart.com/
Don't forget the trope page. It's REALLY not been updated lately, at all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/PonyPOVSeries
Cover art by siggie740. http://siggie740.deviantart.com/art/Baby-Thorax-629481914
First Chapter: http://alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art/Pony-POV-Series-Fluttershy-FlutterCruel-Pearls-260092460
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