Sweets, Why Did it Have to be Sweets?
Daring Do, the khaki-colored adventurer-archeologist, found herself waist deep in chocolate, a massive and unstable swamp full of chocolate pudding. She was making no progress in her struggle to get out, partly because the sticky brown slime was pulling her down, but mostly because she couldn't stop eating it.
"So dangerous, but so delicious!" she remarked in-between gulps.
"C'mon kid, we've got to get out of here!" shouted a tall, rugged human in a tan shirt and brown fedora.
"I'm trying! *gulp*" Daring Do replied, "It just tastes so good! *munch*"
"Yeah, and it's all going straight to your thighs." Indiana Jones commented as he struggled to push the fat mare forward through the swamp.
"Dr. Jones, you don't have to be so rude." Daring said with a wink, "Even if it is true."
"If we can just make it to the temple we'll be fine!" Indy shouted in his useless attempt to drive the chubby pony forward.
"It's a temple of cake up ahead!" Daring shouted in glee, managing to pull one hoof out of the choco-mud and point at the massive structure in the distance.
The Temple of Cake was layered like a large stone ziggurat but was made entirely out of yellow cake with strawberry filling.
"Strawberry! My favorite!" Daring squealed, "No time to lose, Dr. Jones!"
The adventurous mare tried to break into the gallop, but merely waddled along through the swamp, taking another bite of pudding every few steps. It took her nearly an hour to reach the base of the temple, where Indy had been waiting for her for some time.
"Let's get a move on, kid!" he scolded, "The Cheesecake of Chamba won't find itself!"
"Cheesecake!" Daring recalled, "That's what we're here for! We've not a moment to lose!"
The portly mare managed to place her two front hooves on the base cake layer but she couldn't pull herself up. Indy yanked on her hooves with all his strength and she flew out of the chocolate pit, right on top of Indy, who yelped in pain.
"Dr. Jones, are you alright?" Daring asked while licking the pudding from his face.
"Just a few broken ribs, nothing to worry about." Indy jibed.
"Don't say such things if you're not actually hurt." Daring scolded.
"You're still sitting on my lungs." Indy complained.
"Terribly sorry." Daring Do said, blushing, "Or am I?"
"Let's just get a move on, okay?" Indy replied.
The pony and her human companion only managed to make it halfway down the first corridor when Daring Do decided to rest. She plopped her belly down on the squishy cake floor and soon drifted off to sleep. Indy scoffed but decided not to wake her. Instead he sat down beside the mare and started to rub her soft, furry belly.
"You're not half bad, Daring Do." Indy said affectionately.
Indy stroked Daring's black mane and scratched her ears. Daring started to giggle but then resumed snoozing away. Indy almost laughed himself when he realized how much Daring looked like Marion, his old flame. It wasn't long before exhaustion took Dr. Jones and he fell asleep. He embraced Ms. Do and rested his head on her body like a giant pillow.
"Take that, Ahuizotl!" Daring yelled in her sleep, punching Indy right in the nose with her hoof.
Blood gushed from Indy's nostrils as he screamed awake in pain.
"My nose!!" he shouted, "You broke my nose!!"
"Indy! I'm sorry! I was dreaming!" Daring fretted, "How bad is it?"
"I think it's really broken." Indy said in a nasally voice, still clutching his nose with his hands.
"I don't know what to say...I'm sorry..." Daring murmured in shame, her ears drooping as she scrapped up some cake with her hoof.
To make matters worse, Indy could hear the all too familiar sound of a snake slithering down the wall behind him.
"There's a snake right behind me, isn't there?" Indy concluded.
"Jelly snake!" Daring shouted as the gelatinous, rainbow-colored snake hissed and bared its fangs.
The snake's fangs, despite having no sharpness, still dug into Indy's wrist. The venom however actually dulled the pain of his broken nose and allowed him to speak normally.
"Hey! I think I'm actually getting better!" Indy realized, "It makes about as much sense as anything else in this stupid story."
"Are you going to eat that jelly snake?" Daring asked.
"Knock yourself out." Indy said, pun-intended.
The snake snarled in surprise as Daring chowed down, jelly running down her mouth.
"Don't ever do that again." Indy requested.
"Why not?" Daring asked.
"Because it's freaking me out." Indy explained.
"Suit yourself." Daring said.
The duo continued to make their way into the temple but their jaws soon dropped in disappointed horror as a fat brown stallion with an arrogant smirk trotted toward them.
"Dr. Caballeron! How did you find this place?!" Daring demanded.
"Once again, Ms. Do, we find that there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away." Calleberon tauned, motioning toward the satchel on his back that carried a petrified pastry.
"The Cheesecake of Chamba!" Indy and Daring said in unison.
Caballeron gave a wicked laugh as he tore off a piece of cake wall and ate it. His female human companion knelt down and scratched his back. Indy's eyes widened in shock and anger as he realized the woman was none other than Marion Ravenwood.
"Marion!" he gasped.
"Indy! Is that really you?" Marion asked, "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here...with him?" Indy demanded.
"Caballeron wanted to find this cheesecake and I just wanted to rub it in your face." Marion answered, "Admit it, I beat you at your own game."
"Yeah, you and Belloq over there." Indy commented.
"I see you dug up a fat pony friend of your own." Marion said, pointing at Daring Do.
"BUUUURRRPPP!!" Daring replied, covering her mouth with her hoof.
"Excuse me..." she added with a blush, "Too much cake."
"Now that we have the artifact, let us toast our success." Caballeron announced, producing a bottle of champagne from his satchel.
The chubby stallion pulled the cork out with his teeth and drank the sparkling wine straight from the bottle. Marion did the same until both pony and human were giggling and cuddling.
"It's my family label." Caballeron commented, "I grew up with this stuff."
"Not bad." Marion remarked as she scratched the stallion's belly.
Caballeron swooped in for a kiss and Marion let him, to Indy's disgust.
"Marion, what are you doing?!" Indy decried, "He's a pony?!"
"You've got your pony friend and I've got mine." Marion said.
"She has a point there, Dr. Jones." Daring said, batting her eyelids.
"Point taken." Indy said as he and Daring kissed.
**************************************
"I really think we need to stop right there." Daring Do, in her usual size and weight, advised, while reading the story in her study.
"Aw, but it was just getting good!" Rainbow Dash, the blue pegasus, and also Daring's self-professed biggest fan, complained.
"This is utter tripe." Daring critiqued, "Dr. Jones and I have a strictly professional relationship and I would never my physique go like that."
"You've got problems, kid." Indy said to Rainbow, "You've got problems."
