The Conversion Bureau: Ascend or die

by GrayOnBlue

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure
Length: 4728

Equestria emerges from the Atlantics, consuming Earth. But the catastrophy becoms blessing, as humans received a unique chance to ascend as superior beings of pure magic.

Equestria emerges from the Atlantics, threatening to consume Earth. Unable to stop it, humans decide to tear each other apart before the anomaly leaves no trace of them. Suddenly, the catastrophy becomes blessing, as humans receive a unique chance to ascend as superior beings of pure magic, leaving their primitive lives behind.

But not everypony is ready to accept them with open forelegs.

Published 2016-11-30 04:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-02 21:02:17 UTC

Prologue: Contact

February, 2017
Atlantic Ocean, Earth

It was on all the channels and newspapers.

“The strange anomaly keeps expanding!”

“United States Navy sends additional warships.”

“Scientists claim that the barrier cannot be breached by any tech known to mankind.”

“Atlantic Apocalypse is nigh!”

People were scared. For the first time in its history, humanity has faced something like this. An alien structure, that goes far beyond any comprehension, defies laws of physics and shakes the very foundation of the world.
Numerous scientists tried to research the anomaly, but sooner or later they were forced to admit that even the most primitive attributes of it cannot be understood. Scientific method, that worked without failures for millennia was useless in the Atlantics.

Humans soon found out that nothing material could go through the barrier. The matter was annihilated by unknown energy, as if it never existed at all. Surprisingly, living organisms didn’t seem to be affected in any harmful way. Instead, the expanding anomaly simply let them inside, without causing any damage.

Empirically, researchers found out that humans were the only living organisms that haven’t been able to get through the barrier. Instead, they were pushed away by it.
They also measured that the barrier was expanding with the approximate speed of three hundred and thirty-eight feet per hour to either direction. Calculations showed that it would take around seven years to fully consume the planet’s surface. This meant that humans had a real, one hundred percent chance to extinct, crushed like insects in a jar.
They had to do something.

March 2, 2017
United Nations Headquarters, New York City

The emergency UN session was in full play. Representatives of almost two hundred countries tried to decide what to do with the indestructible, omnicidal wall of forthcoming apocalypse. For them, people who used to deal with mundane wars and massacred, having the slowly approaching, irresistible death was stressful, to say the least.
Delegates lost their tempers in no time, starting to shout at each other, blame other countries, throw insults and venomous questions back and forth. India blamed Pakistan, China blamed Taiwan, South Korea blamed North Korea, United States blamed Russian Federation, The Arab League blamed Israel, Vatican City blamed gays and abortion, African states blamed white colonists…
It was both fascinating and terrifying to watch how usually confident and full of themselves people lost their civilized manners and turned into a bunch of scared, angry kids.

Fascinating, because such drastic changes are very informative and tell a lot about humans’ psychology.

Terrifying, because lives of billions of souls depended on decisions that these furious, clamorous manchilds make.

Events began to go out of control. Deep inside, delegates knew that stopping the anomaly is not in their power. They understood that no country or even a group of countries would be able to make a difference.
The world has so much hatred and so many disagreements that it would rather die than make an attempt to find common ground, assuming it ever existed.
Old and ongoing conflicts erupted again, this time more passionate than ever before. After all, if everyone is going to die anyway, why not settle accounts with old enemies? Who cares about wars or even nuclear warfare when the wall of destruction keeps devouring the world? Some philosophers argued that if it’s the end of humanity, everyone might as well kill each other in wars than be slaughtered like cattle.
But before anything irreparable happened, before wars were declared and any nuclear arsenal was used, an event occurred.

An event, that was even more fundamental, than the Atlantic anomaly.

Suddenly, all of the delegates were almost blinded by the pure-white, shimmering light that appeared out of nowhere. But this was the least of their concerns.
Each of them perceived with the most basic of animalistic instincts the presence of something that could not be. Something alien, beyond cognition and understanding. Something so impossible and unnatural that the human brain refused to grasp it.
When the light was gone and they opened their eyes, they beheld the BEING, standing in the head of the assembly.

A slender, equine-shaped body, taller than a grown up man.

Astonishing white wings.

A long, elegant horn, glowing in soft, golden color.

And the eyes.

Not a single delegate was able to look directly in them, for a reason neither of them could even begin to fathom. The primal ape within each of them refused to do so.
The BEING was literally coursing with unknown energy, so colossal that even the power of a supernova would have paled in comparison.
And then, it talked.

“Greetings, venerable humans. I am Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria and I have come to offer you the gift of ascension.”

Chapter I: Magic

Chapter I: Magic

March 4, 2017
United Nations Headquarters, New York City

Princess Celestia looked upon the audience. There were many humans; not only the delegates from all over the world, but also reporters, journalists and operators. She was barraged with camera flashes. It felt like one photo wasn’t enough for humans, and they needed to make as many as possible.

“Ladies and gentlemen” She spoke softly in a melodic, pleasant voice.
“As I promised, today I shall demonstrate you what a pony body is capable of. For that purpose, I invited three of my friends who kindly agreed to perform a demonstration.”

She gestured towards the trio with a hoof.

A white-coated unicorn with spotless mane and tail and a picture of three gems on both flanks. Rarity.

A yellow pegasus, wearing a shy yet confident smile. Fluttershy.

And an orange earth pony in a hat, who observed the audience with calmness and dignity in her eyes. Applejack.

Celestia cleared her throat and continued.

“All ponies divide into three tribes: unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies. Each of them has unique abilities and physical appearance, but there are many features that every pony possesses.”
“As you should know, there are really good reasons, why only creatures with certain physical traits have an upper hoof in evolution and a chance to become sapient.”

She smiled almost insensibly, hearing annoyed grunts and indignant whispers from some of the humans when she mentioned evolution.

“At first glance, equines have virtually no chance to develop sapience. They are quadrupedal, don’t have flexible fingers and they are also mostly herbivores, to name a few. But obviously, if that was the case, we wouldn’t have been here.
So, what was the advantage that let us reach the pinnacle of evolution? Magic.”

As soon as she pronounced that word, three ponies extended their front hooves almost synchronously for the audience to see.

“Each pony’s front hooves have flexible physiology and innate magical attribute that allows them to change density and hardness, and grasp things with high efficiency. These features allow us to perform feats that are impossible for regular equines, such as using a hoof as a labour tool…”

Gasps of astonishment as the pegasus effortlessly hammered a thick nail in the wood that was brought here for demonstration.

“...performing gentle gestures...”

The hoof that just rivaled a good hammer now was lying in the hand of a volunteer, amazed by its softness and tenderness.

“...or using things without strain...”

Earth pony threaded a needle, then holded a dozen of eggs in her hoof while using the other one to grasp a plate, a spoon, a bottle and a glass, while standing on her hind legs.

“Every pony can easily stand, walk and run on two, four or three limbs with roughly the same efficiency.” Celestia clarified, seeing the audience’s reaction.
“On top of that, each tribe has a unique ability that belongs only to them. Such as limited telekinesis for unicorns, flight for pegasi and physical prowess for earth ponies.”

Fluttershy immediately floated into the air, Applejack lifted a huge boulder that made some humans wonder, why it was there in the first place, and Rarity holded several objects in her telekinetic grip.

Celestia waited a little, letting the audience to calm down from surprise and astonishment and continued.

“After a while, we all agreed that it didn't seem like a fair deal. Having tribes with unique abilities that the others can’t even dream about contradicts the very idea of Equestria. We decided to take control of evolution, accelerate it and guide where we want it to go. We...”

“You decided to play God! How dare...”

Celestia ignored the delegate as the others tried to calm him down. She had better things to do than arguing with primitives.

“After spedingt a lot of time and efforts, we had finally achieved our goal. My little ponies will demonstrate that to you. Observe.”
Fluttershy’s and Applejack’s front hooves glowed in soft, aqua and bright green light respectively. Several objects were floating near them.
“By channeling their passive magic outside, earth ponies and pegasi can manipulate objects just as good as the unicorns.”

Rarity’s horn glowed, and a pair of butterfly-like, shimmering wings appeared on her back. Apllejack’s back had wings now as well, but in a more pegasus-like shape. They were effortlessly hovering in the air.

“A pony’s magic can mimic a pegasus’ wing structure and give the other two tribes an ability to fly just as well.”

Now it was the whole Rarity’s body that glowed brightly. Fluttershy’s wings went limp, but it seemed like something has changed in her body too, because of the soft light radiating from it.
Both girls lifted a huge boulder in turns, and then simultaneously punched it with their front hooves. Granite shattered like glass.

Celestia smiled softly, seeing the audience's reaction.

“I hope I made it crystal clear - nobody will lose anything by becoming a pony. Instead, all of you will receive a huge amounts of perks and benefits, and will save yourselves and your loved ones from the anomaly. Now, if you have any questions, I’d be more than happy to answer them...”

March 10, 2017
The Plaza Hotel, New York City

Princess Celestia was standing in her penthouse suite, looking through the window at the big city below her. Humans have started to build the first Conversion Bureau of many. Celestia watched the building site, wondering, how much time they’d need. Her subjects volunteered to come and help humans, but it was too soon for them to show up on Earth. It was more than enough that Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack helped to demonstrate ponies’ abilities.
Her train of thought was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. She sighed quietly and said:

“You can come in, Honey Bun”.

The door opened, revealing a visitor. It was a dark gray earth pony with black mane and tail, deep blue eyes and a cutie mark as a bun on her flanks.
She was wearing an irritated expression when she looked at Celestia.

“Princess.”

Celestia sighed again and looked back with sad eyes.

“Listen, I understand your irritation, but I had no other choice. If I’d have allowed you to come with me a week ago, I would’ve risked with your well-being. I know how you feel about them and I didn’t want to stress you out.”

The visitor narrowed her eyes.

“Princess, we always followed your orders. Your will is our absolute command. But only because of your immense wisdom and because anypony can demand an answer from you and always receive it.
But you didn’t give any orders about humans. You don’t know what to do about them, so you can only guess. That’s why I came and that’s why I’m...”

“...asking me to stop.” Celestia finished the phrase. She shaked her head slowly.

“Honey, it was the best thing to do anyway. No other solution was that clean and beneficial for humans.”

Earth pony raised her hoof, stopping Princess from adding anything on top of that.

“They do not deserve it, Celestia! They do not deserve to ascend and become ponies, to live in Equestria and be your subjects.”

The Princess kept her silence, as she watched Honey Bun pacing back and forth, obviously annoyed.

“Look what already happened because of them. You have corrupted yourself with a lie, corrupted yourself with calling them 'venerable'… We have corrupted ourselves by arguing right now… and then what? You want to corrupt the whole Equestria by spreading the human disease there? If ponies psychologically wouldn’t have been able to lose their minds, I’d have thought that you are insane! What’s gotten into an infinitely wise and intelligent pony like you?”

“I know that humans are primitive and agressive beasts with an insignificant spark of sapience. But it's just a disease, nothing more.
We will cure that disease, Honey. The ponification serum will help them lose their human nature and become who they need to be to live in Equestria. My little ponies will gladly greet and accept them as equals.”

“This disease must to be purged, not cured. Your Majesty... even a virus has something positive within itself; it’s only trying to survive, after all. Humans are different. They only want to kill, without caring about survival. Whatever things they create, serve the sole purpose - cause devastation.
They are worse than any virus, worse than any disease… they are death and destruction incarnate!
The mere fact that the ruler of Equestria temporarily lives in this garbage hole that should not be called city under any circumstances insults you, Princess. These… things… they are… they are abominations. They violante the very foundation of the universe!
They aren’t even capable of thinking, because most of their thoughts are dictated by instincts, genes and emotions, not by rational mind.
Do you really want to let them live in Equestria?”

Celestia waited until the visitor was done with her emotional rant. She could feel the pain of her subject, could understand her intentions and her opinion. But there was something that Honey Bun forgot about.

Lowering her head, Celestia asked in a low voice:

“You want to tell me that Princess Luna’s idea was wrong?”

That simple question didn’t make the effect Celestia thought it will. But Honey looked like she was stunned for a while. Slowly, she raised her head and looked directly to the Princess’ eyes - a feat impossible to perform by any human.

“I used my judgment, Princess. You may be our ruler and our Goddess, but since you can’t make a clear decision about humans, we are free to act as we think is right.”

Princess raised an eyebrow at this.

“‘We?’”

The earth pony hesitated.

“I...I know some ponies who think that humans should not be allowed to enter Equestria, ponified or not. They agreed with me that humans do not deserve it.”

There was a silence for a while, before Celestia turned away and spoke gently.

“You are free to act as your think, Honey Bun. But I want to warn you - humans are too complicated to make a right decision about them. Please, think twice before using drastic measures.”

She didn’t see the predatory smile appearing on her visitor’s face.

“Don’t worry, Your Majesty. I will think thrice.”

Chapter II: Vengeance

March 11, 2017
The Plaza Hotel, New York City

Princess Celestia smiled encouragingly, looking at the reporters. There were people from a lot of news channels, eager to ask her questions about things that bothered all the humanity. They even gathered a whole press conference, just for her. Well, she appreciated their enthusiasm.

She leaned her head to one of the microphones, standing on the table.

“Testing, testing… can you hear me? Does this thing work? Yes? Alright, here we go.
Welcome, everyone! I am very pleased to see you all at this pleasant day, knowing that you want to learn more about us and our intentions. I’d be glad to answer any of your questions the best way possible.”

Everyone raised their arms, eager to ask the Princess about things that bothered them.

She pointed towards a reporter man, wearing one of those traditional male business outfits. Although a bit stuffy and uncomfortable, it probably made him look more confident or serious. Or maybe it was a tribute to traditions.
He stood up and named himself, but for Celestia it was just a set of random words. She didn’t know about those abbreviations, channels and numbers, because that information was irrelevant for her cause.

“...before, you mentioned several times that humans have to be ponified to go to Equestria and save themselves. But isn’t there a way for us to keep our bodies and still live in your country?”

“I’m afraid the way you’re speaking of does not exist. Humans are unique creatures in more ways than one. Unlike animals and plants, you have advanced psychology that will be burned out the second you enter Equestria. The magic aura within our world is not compatible with your nervous system. Even if we’ll find a way for humans to bypass the barrier, I don’t think any of you will be able to function properly with no highest brain functions.
Next?”

The audience looked seemingly disturbed and upset about her words, making Celestia regret her words. No matter how horrible humans were, she did want to make the transition for them as comfortable as possible.
She shaked her head, ordering inappropriate emotions to vanish.

“...is it even possible for you to integrate and support every single human on Earth? There are around seven billions and a half of us, today.”

“It’s a tough call, I won’t lie. But we didn’t dive recklessly into it. Right now, millions of volunteers making everything they can so the first newfoals will feel themselves comfortable. We build homes, create household items, infrastructure, grow food and do many, many other things. In fact, we have been doing this since the day we found out that we cannot stop Equestria’s expansion.
Yes, I’m participating too. Just because my physical body is here, doesn’t mean I don’t do anything. Right now, I’m channeling the most of my magic power to Equestria, so they will use it for help. It’s… quite exhausting, to be honest, but it’s the main duty of a ruler - helping their subjects in any way possible.
Once newfoals will adapt, I hope they’d participate as well. After all, they will be motivated to help those who are about to join them in Equestria.
And with their increasing numbers, we will make sure that not a single soul will stay behind.”

“But who is going to coordinate all of this? We’re talking about a colossal project that needs billions of people to cooperate and work together.”

“My sister, Princess Luna, had already taken this responsibility. She’s using her vast intelligence and incalculable magic power to coordinate our project and so far, no problems have occurred.”

The audience didn’t fail to notice Celestia’s face falling slightly, as she answered this question.

“What is going to happen with our legacy? Our culture, our inventions, our arts, our history? Are they going to just vanish without a trace?”

“I… I’m afraid yes. As long as your legacy is material, it will vanish, because the barrier consumes every single bit of human craft.”

An exhausted and exasperated woman reported stood up, looking at Celestia intently.

“Some sourcers say that it was a planned invasion operation, so you can take our lands and our people as slaves to work for you. Can you deny these claims?”

Celestia looked back, wearing a stormy expression. The woman instinctively shrunk back, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Forgive my rudeness, by do they really think that I’m an imbecile?
If I needed your lands and you as slaves, I’d have just waited until the barrier swallows your world up to a point when the majority of population would be located densely into a small area. As you probably noticed, it’s nigh-indestructible. That ten megaton nuclear device you used didn’t even scratch it.
In the meantime, I’d have worked on the spell, to cast it on you, so you could enter Equestria as humans.
The outcome?
You don’t have highest nervous functions as the barrier swallows you.
We domesticate you and use as cattle.
Problem solved, humans are slaves, the planet is ours.”

She stopped, observing humans in front of her. They were frightened, shaking and looking at her with wide eyes. For them, it was something alien - hearing a plan about enslaving them and taking their lands, coming from the Solar Goddess. Her voice was cold, informative and artificial. She didn’t threaten, she didn’t brag. She simply shared the information.
And they knew that she was able to do all of this.

Celestia spoke again, this time in her kindest and calming voice.

“I have no intentions to steal your land or enslave you. On the contrary - I want to save you and share the gift of ascension with you all. Nothing more.”

March 15, 2017
Somewhere in Queens, New York City

Anthony Miller was heading home after another rough day of school. He knew what will happen once he gets home: his mom will lecture him for being so late and his father will probably shot at him for being a wimp who can’t even stand up for himself.
Just like every single day.

“Just like every single day.”

He stopped sharply, looking around fearfully. The voice was coming out of nowhere, it seemed.

“No need to worry about me, young Anthony. I am not here to cause you harm of any sort. After all, that’s what humans do, not me.”

“W-who are you?.. Do you know me?..”

The voice laughed.

“It wasn’t that hard, really. Just had to keep my eyes and ears open.”

“Y… you’re a pony, right? From Equestria?”

“Wow, and how did you know that? Probably because of me saying that I’m not a human, huh?”

He hesitated.

“Well… you’re also… different. I… I don’t know how exactly, but… there’s something inhuman in you. Something unearthly...”

He saw a figure, approaching him. It was a quadrupedal creature, wearing a black cape with a hood. The pony removed the hood, revealing her face with deep blue eyes.
“You can feel it, can you not? Because of magic I radiate, perhaps? Or maybe because of my voice that is different from any voices humans posses? Or maybe there’s another reason? Does it matter, anyway?”

He shaked his head slowly, still stunned by her beautifulness. He’s never thought that anything or anyone could possibly be that beautiful.

“I’ll cut to the chase. Have you heard about The Conversion Bureau program?”

Anthony nodded. How could he not hear about that? Every single news channel broadcasted footages of building site in New York, along with Celestia’s interviews and commentaries of scientists and politicians about possible humanity’s fate.

“What do you think about us, ponies?”

He remembered some footages where ponies appeared. They always seemed full of joy and so nice to each other. While human builders argued about something, ponies always kept working, as if they knew how to do things the best way possible. And their eyes always kept such lovely expressions of sincere kindness, honesty and lifeless.

“I think you’re… really nice and good. As far as I can tell, from all those news channels.”

The pony seemed quite pleased, but she suddenly changed the topic.

“You still have some cash with you? They didn’t take it, this time?”

Anthony blinked in surprise, then sighed sadly. He didn’t care anymore about her knowledge. If even magical ponies from some other worlds knew that he’s the biggest loser in the world, then there’s not much to be said.

“They will, tomorrow. And probably beat me up for escaping them today.”

“So this is your life, huh? The life of a game, surrounded by hunters.
You go to school everyday, praying they will finally leave you alone. Sometimes you can even visit some classes without anything bad happening to you. You’re slightly relaxed, hoping that it will last longer… and then, you see them. Heading towards you, with those horrible smiles. You feel that ice-cold fear, that weakens your body and makes your hands shake.
After that, you’re sitting in your place, humiliated and scared beyond measure, surrounded by your classmates. They’ve seen it all, just like always.
Tell a teacher? You tried, once. They dismissed your claim after trusting one of those bastards. He said, it was a friendly prank. You won’t forget that broken rib anytime soon.
Tell parents? Your mother will just ignore it, as if you’re mute and you father will demand you to stay up for yourself. How, I wonder? A single human teen, never exercised, against a pack of four football players? That sounds like the fairest fight, ever.”

She was interrupted by Anthony. He was crying.

“W-why do you tell me… this? To… to gloat?”

She ignored his question, but changed the topic again.

“The Conversion Bureau will be fully operational, soon. After that, all NYC residents will pass through it, turning into ponies. They will live in Equestria, a land of eternal peace, love and harmony. They will become ponies, creatures of kindness, honesty and loyalty.
Does Joshua Allen deserve to be a pony? David Lee? Dylan Hall? Jason Adams?
Do they deserve to become ponies?”

She was taken aback from a sudden scream of pure hatred.

“No, they don’t! Never! Never! Never! Those bastards deserve to die, nothing more!”

Anthony immediately understood what he said and closed his mouth with both hands, staring at the pony with obvious fear in his eyes.
Contrary to his expectations, she wasn’t scared or disgusted. Instead, she smiled.

“You have no idea how right you are, my little Anthony.
You should not be ashamed of your outburst. Even if you think you’ve gone too far, deep inside you know that you are right. You understand that those animals do not deserve to live. Much less, to turn into ponies.”

“But… what if I just… go to Equestria and become a pony? It will be all over and… nobody will have to… die...”

“You’re a year away from majority, kid. Yours parent won’t allow you to go there alone. And even if they would, what’s next? It’d take months for the Bureau to become fully functional.
Do you want to leave now, go home and hear your mother and father shouting at you? Do you want to go to the school tomorrow again, to face them?
Do you, Anthony?”

She nodded, seeing his expression.

“Thought so.”

“But… but what can I do?”
“Take your vengeance.
Make them pay for all humiliations, for all the pain and fear them caused your. You want it, I know. You want it more than anything. And I shall help you.
I can give you my magic temporarily. This will grant you the flight of a pegasus, telekinesis of a unicorn and strength and durability of an earth pony.
You can only use one power at a time, though. But for your vengeance, it’d be more than enough.”

It didn’t take much time to talk him into it. When they were done, Honey Bun felt herself powerless, but she was smiling. She knew that tomorrow, this city will start to burn.

March 16, 2017
Queens, New York City

Honey Bun stood on the roof, grinning like an idiot. She observed the charred carcass of what used to be a school, and many humans, running around. Police, firefighters, paramedics, teacher, grieving parents.
The victim count wasn’t as high as she hoped it would. The human exploded too soon; the school did not collapse, burning to the ground instead. It gave firefighters a chance to save a lot of students and children.
She thought about the kid for a second. Poor bastard, he really hoped to control the power of a pony. Humans are so stupid.
But nonetheless, the pony felt herself like a winner. She looked down at those crying and desperate mothers, fathers and siblings, mourning their loved ones, and enjoyed their sufferings.
“You’re all gonna die. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Ahem”

She froze, slowly turning around and watching Princess Celestia landing on the roof, next to her.

“P-princess...”

“By the power vested in me as a ruler of Equestria, I demand you to give me an answer about your actions, Honey Bun!”