"OK, is everypony connected?" asked Twilight.
"my goddamn internet's a piece of shit," said Apple Jack. Everypony was talking through skype and they were trying to join a Dying Night Co-Op session.
"I'm in," said Dash.
"Dash, you're in the sky, of course, you're the first one on,"
"I don't think the internet works like that..." said Twilight.
"Wait, Twilight's hosting?" asked Pinkie.
"Isn't she?" asked Fluttershy.
"Aw... I have all these golden weapons set up,"
"Darling, where on earth did you get golden weapons?" asked Rarity.
"Yeah, you need to be level 25, you just got the game," said Twilight.
"Actually, I've had the game for a few hours and I've been grinding the same quarantine for longer than I can keep track of. Also, there's a lot of players who would be happy to let you a golden weapon or two" said Pinkie.
"Why don't you just deliver DROPs or grind the night?" asked Dash.
"I'm level 3 in agility and drops take a long time," Eventually everypony got connected. Dash had a level 16 hammer, rarity had a level 17 katana, Apple Jack had a level 3 pipe, Pinkie had a level 25 golden dark sickle, Twilight had an SMG, and Fluttershy was unarmed.
"Why're you unarmed?" asked Dash.
"I've been doing mostly agility and story,"
"I thought the story was shit," said A.J.
"It is, but you need to do it to unlock old town," said Twilight.
"How'd you get an SMG?" asked Dash.
"I got The Following Enhanced,"
"ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!?!?" yelled everypony except Twilight and Fluttershy.
"Yep," For like ten minutes so many ponies were talking nopony could understand anypony until...
"YES, FUCKIN' QUAD FEED. IT WAS PEAK!!!" yelled Pinkie, raping everypony's ears.
"Ma'am I'm gonna have to ask you to calm the fuck down," said Rainbow dash, on the floor, blood coming out of her ears.
"Pinkie, ya'll sound like a five-year-old screaming on helium," said A.J.
"Pinkie... why?" asked Fluttershy, painfully.
"OK, let's all agree to turn down our headphone volume when Pinkie's in the party," said Twilight, trying to stay still.
"Wanna do a side quest?" asked Dash, steadying herself.
-Five minutes later-
A pony with a shaved head opened the door, saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy,"
"Do we really have to deal with this dumbass?" asked Dash.
"We put up with you," said A.J. The second he stopped talking, Pinkie bolted away, grabbed the movie and chocolate, did a flip into Gazi's house and smashed through the front door and through the medication Twilight.
"I thought you were level 3," said Dash.
"Not anymore, I ground the fuck out of the game when we were fighting,"
"HOW ABOUT WE GO DO SOME CALL OF CUTIE: ROASTS!?!?!?" asked Twilight angerly. She quit the game before anyone could do anything.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, PINKIE DROPPED A GOLDEN WEAPON," said Dash. They went into a Call of Cutie lobby with a few players they filled up the game to reach 9 players.
"Which one's Create-a-Class?" asked Derpy.
"Oh my god, you cancerous, asshat. IT'S RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU!!!"
"Gilda?" asked Dash.
"You're kidding me... you? Here?"
"It truly is a miracle that ponies still play this horrid game," said Rarity.
"Will you leave Derpy the hell alone?" asked Dash.
"I'm sorry that your friend's dumbass," said Gilda.
"She can't help not being smart!" said Pinkie.
"Pinkie, she just thinks differently," said Dash. When they got into the match, the countdown timer came up as they cocked their firearms. Dash had a class made for running and gunning, Twilight was a sniper, Apple Jack had a shotgun class, Pinkie had a butcher knife, Fluttershy (ironically) had an LMG, and Rarity had an assault class. The map was fog and Pinkie was ready to get her killstreak for the "Michel Meyers" killstreak.
Dash bolted aimlessly into the map, Twilight went into a window, Fluttershy hid behind a rock, fearful as the map was in a scary setting, Apple Jack casually walked, Rarity following behind and Pinkie had already gotten 3 kills and counting.
"What the fuck?" Dash said. She heard a faint beeping and a split second after, an explosion blew her 4 feet away.
"FUCK YOU, TOO YA FUCKIN' DWEEB!!!"
"Yeah and look who's got a rainbow emblem," said Dash.
"Look who's talkin'," said Apple Jack.
"Hey, Dash, why weren't you on for a few weeks?" asked Twilight.
-10 weeks earlier-
"Well, then... uh'm, Rainbow Dash, we have good news and we have- how much did you have to drink last night?" said a doctor, coming into a small room.
"What is it?"
"Well, the good news is you're gonna have a disease named after you,"
"That's awesome!" she said, oblivious to what that meant.
"the bad news is you have that disease. Who the hell did you pick up last night?"
"Is it... is it serious?"
"Only one way to find out," said the doctor, taking out a long, serrated blade.
"You're kidding..."
-The present day-
"I... I don't wanna talk about it," Suddenly the theme from the movie "Halloween" started playing. The map became blurry. and a brief ruffling sound could be heard in the bushes. Suddenly, the one and only Pinkie had her gamer tag changed to "Shadow". She jumped right over Gilda's IED and stabbed her through the head. She came behind Derpy and kicked her into a mineshaft. She was killing players constantly left-to-right, front-to-back.
"How the hell is she doing that?" asked Gilda.
"My dad.. my, my dad. He owns Activision and he's duh-duh-duh owner of Call of Booty and he told me he released Modern Warmare 988,"
"... kid, they haven't made a 4th," said Apple Jack.
"Spike?" asked Twilight.
"N-no, this is FaZe Booce,"
"Spike, know it's you, I can see your gamer tag, it says 'edgy dabs',"
