My life in Wood

by LazyPone

Struggles

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A few howls sound off in the distance. My hunters found game.

I let out a powerful howl. Letting my hunters know I’m on my way. I leave my den and my bitches, and spare a few looks to my pups. I have to look proud, I need to look strong in front of them. I didn’t become alpha for nothing.

I don’t think it helps that we’ve been running low on food lately.

I howl one more time before I left my den. I bulldoze through the thick, dark foliage that makes up my territory. Even though there were trees as thick as monster truck tires, vines that hung like thick curtains, and grass and bushes so thick it makes it nearly impossible to navigate. Despite all the obstacles, I easily and nimbly made my way to the hunters of my pack.

I make to them in no time and set my sights on their catch.

You have got to be kidding me…

A low growl leaves my wooden throat. They’ve cornered those ponies, again.

How many fucking times do I have to tell them not to go after fucking ponies!?

“Idiots!” I growl out. “I’ve told you, no fucking ponies!” I bark. My hunters wilt under my fiery gaze. “Go look for actual food!” I snap, my hunters turn tail and bolt off. I sigh and turn to the ponies. One is a yellow regular pony, one’s a orange pegasus, and one’s a white unicorn. And they looked they were young. “Come, I will take you three home.” It’s also really sad this isn’t the first time these specific three in the forest. Do they really want to stop living, or are they really that stupid?

“Why do you three keep coming to this forest?” I asked. “This isn’t the first time my hunters have found you three.” I turn to them.

Oh fuck me. I forgot they never heard me talk.

“Ya can talk!?” The yellow pony gawked. The other two just stared in silent shock.

“Yes, I can talk.” I said, a little annoyed.

“But, yer a timberwolf!” She shouted. I grunted and shot a snort her way.

“And that means?” I snapped back, they shut up. “Ugh, ponies.” I sigh and turn my attention back to the path I started walking on, still mumbling obscenities about ponies. I didn’t bother to look behind me to see if the ponies were following. I’ve escorted these three and many others out my part of the forest many times before, this time being different since I spoke to them. They know they’re literally out of their elements when they have a being like me leading them out of the fucking place.

And if those three ponies aren’t following me… Ugh… god have mercy on them.

I hear hoofsteps behind me, good. They’re at least that smart.

“... Why are ya helpin’ us?” Lemon asked.

“I don’t eat ponies. Too much trouble.” Came my emotionless response.

“Hey! What do you mean ‘too much trouble’?!” Orange asked in that little annoying scratching voice of hers. I’ve learned I can distinguish between genders just buy looking for eyelashes. Or their muzzles, either make a good distinguishing trait.

“I mean if I or either one of my pack eat any of you. Your kind will lose their fucking minds and start a hunt to wipe us out.” I said. God, I hope that shuts them up. “Just be fucking happy I didn’t let my hunters take you three in.” I gripe. “My pack’s already in enough trouble on our own.” I grumbled.

Just a little longer and they’ll be gone for a little while.

I thought to myself. Them being gone for any period of time will do wonders for my grating sanity. I already have enough on my plate as it is.

“Fuckin’ ponies...” I grumble.

“Hey...” I find my wooden head swiveling to the white one. “Why do you say that? We’re not all troublesome.” She meekly retreated.

“I’m going to assume you three are pretty young. And that your parents haven’t told you much of the real world.” I turn my head back around. If there was anything I would not have on my list things to do. It would be telling three young ponies that the world I woke up too, was as a shit-hole, a giant shitstain on the piece of dirt I call home.

“What was that supposed to mean?” Yellow asked.

“There are things kids like you shouldn't know yet.” I said without looking back at them.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Orange asked in a challenging tone.

“Like I can easily chomp down all three of necks like biting into licorice.”

The three of them gulped audibly.

“Again. Be fucking happy I’m taking you out of my forest.” I reiterated.

I walked in silence for a what felt like hours, but at some point I got to the edge of my territory. Which just so happened to face the little settlement these three lived in.

I end up here way too often. I don’t like being close to any of these pony settlements.

“Alright, we’re here.” I droned. “You three can go back home now.” I nodded towards the buildings. “And please, for your sake. Stay out of this fucking place.” I turned around and started walking back to a more comfortable distance from the edge of my forest. I was already looking for prey when I heard one of them call out.

“Thank you!” It was Marshmallow. And I didn’t bother to respond. That better be the last time I see them, or any ponies, in my territory. They better spread the word.

But, whatever, if some pony comes wandering into my territory, it’s literally their funeral at this point; I have mouths to feed...

Ugh, knowing my luck, they’re going after me after those three tell others what happened to them.


“Ya what!?”

“Applejack please! Listen!”

“No! What did Ah tell ya ‘bout goin’ in the Everfree!? Ya’ll could’ve gotten yerselves killed out there!”

“But-”

“No! I ain’t havin’ none of your excuses! Big Mac!”

“Yup?”

“Keen n’ eye on these fillies while Ah get Rarity n’ Rainbow. They’re in a heaping load o’ trouble.”

“Alright.”


“What is wrong with them fillies…” Applejack muttered to herself. She'd been making her way towards Rarity’s when she began talking to herself. “N’ all the nonsense ‘bout some talkin’ timber wolf. What a bunch o’ hooey.” She spat.

“Ah know they wanna get their cutie marks. But the things they do… Goin’ in the Everfree is jus’ goin’ too far. Just wait ‘till Rarity n’ Rd hear ‘bout this…” She fell silent, continuing her walk to the well-known boutique. It's carousel design wasn't hard to miss.

Applejack knocked on the front door a few times when she got there.

“Coming~!” A delicate voice called from within. The apple mare heard a few hoofsteps before the door swung open. Revealing the snow-white coated mare. Her mane bounced from some gust of air the door probably created.

“Applejack darling!” The fashionista greeted. “How have you been?”

“Ah’ve been fine Rares.” The rustic pony answered. “But Ah I need to tell ya somethin’.”

“Really? Well, please, come in.” Rarity said while stepping to the side to allow entrance. Applejack walked in and waited until the door closed. “Now, what is it that you need to tell me darling?” She asked. Applejack sighed before she answered.

“Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, n’ Scootaloo went in the Everfree again.” Rarity gasped in shock.

“Oh Celestia! Are they alright!?”

“They’re fine.” Applejack said with a dismissive wave of a hoof. “They tried tellin’ me that some talkin’ Timber Wolf lead them out cursed place.” Rarity’s face would’ve paled if her face wasn't already white.

“Wait…” She said. She had to force herself from panicking. It wasn't needed since her little sister is in no danger, anymore, at least. “Did you say, a ‘talking’, Timber Wolf?” Applejack nodded. “How could they come up with something like that? That seems hardly believable.”

“Glad ya think the same way. Th’ little rascals tried puttin’ that nonsense in mah head.”

“But… I can't help but think where they could have come with something like that. It seems a little odd to me that they chose a Timber Wolf of all things to use…”

“Well…” Thought about it for second. “It is kinda weird. But Ah think they were jus’ pullin’ them words out their flanks. Rarity hummed thoughtfully.

“Maybe we could interrogate them? I am willing to bet they will tell the truth of we pressure them enough. Why, we could even have Twilight come with us and use a lie detection spell. Oh~ It would be just like one of my detective novels!” Rarity squealed. Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Typical Rarity.” She muttered under her breath. “C’mon. Rainbow needs to know ‘bout the girls too.”

“Oh! Right!” Rarity snapped herself out of her fantasies, and headed out with her apple orientated friend in tow.


“N’ now we're here.” Applejack said, she just finished telling her bookworm of a friend of today's happenings about the C.M.C.

“Hmmm…” Twilight mulled Applejack’s earlier request over. “It does seem a little far fetched that a Timber Wolf could talk… But, you're right. The girls had to have gotten that from somewhere… Alright, I'll come along. I've been meaning to practice the Lie Detector spell anyway.” Rainbow smiled.

“Awesome! C’mon! Let’s go!” She said a split-second before she zoomed out the nearest window. Her gathered friends smiled and rolled their eyes; Typical Rainbow.


“Finally, good food.” I mutter. “Good work you three. Let’s get this back to the den.” My hunters barked in unison and we hoisted our catch onto our backs. Gugh, this big lion thing is heavier than it looks. But at least this’ll last us a week. “Remember, bitches and pups eat first.” My hunters grunt at me. We then begin our haul back to the den. I was thankful we weren’t attacked from other predators. That may be due to the fact that we took down a damned lion with wings and a scorpion tail. But, I digress, I’ll take some fuckin’ luck wherever and whenever I can.

We made it to the den in no time. If I still believed in god. I’d be thanking him.

My pups and bitches noticed our arrival and started yipping excitedly. I smiled, as best I could with a wooden face, it’s those little moments that keep me going honestly.

My pack surrounds me and my hunters when we hefted the mutated lion into the moderately-sized cave. The three of us backed off from our latest catch, the pup and others feeding first. It didn’t take long for them to eat their fill, the pups literally tearing into the carcass. Good; they need the meat to grown big and strong. The six of them managed to get into the belly a bit. They backed away, signalling our turn.

While the den wolves ate greedily. Me and my hunters tore into the meat with a starved appetite. Not eating for a couple days can do that into a wolf. Luckily for us though, the legs of the thing where plenty filling. Only a leg of each of us was enough.

With our bellies full. The three of us walked over to plant our haunches down at the mouth of the cave. We spent the rest of the day guarding the entrance while the others rested, or in the pup’s case, play. Until they tire at least. It brought a smile to my muzzle to hear my pups play. My smile widened when I remember I can finally start to expand my pack. After all, only one of my bitches had a litter of three pups. Now that we have a solid food source for the next week. I can at least get another one full of pups. She may even have more if we catch more food like that lion.

Yes, things seems to be looking good for us. And soon enough we’ll have enough to take the rest of the forest. I’m very thankful that we’re the only Timber Wolf pack in this forest. SO much land to cover. So much food to catch… Mmmm…


“Are you kidding me!?” Rainbow shouted, right into Twilight’s ear. She’d been looking over the scholar’s shoulder when Twilight physically displayed the results of the lie detector spell; it was a simple grid with a vertical line in the center, it cascading downwards. Understanding it was simple; the line shot to the left of right when the pony, or ponies, who had the cast on them lied. The one before the mares looked much like a seismograph.

In this case however, the line remained completely straight. The only way anypony could tell if it was working was by the grid surrounding it.

“Well, the spell isn't lying, no pun intended.” Twilight said. “I checked the spell matrix three times already, nothing was out of the ordinary. The girls are telling the truth.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders beamed at this.

“Ya see sis!? I wasn’t lyin’!” Applebloom exclaimed.

“Yeah, Ah know.” Applejack turned to her little sister. “But that still don’t excuse you from walkin’ in the Everfree!”

“Yes, I have to agree with Applejack.” Rarity agreeingly said.

“Yeah! What the hay were you three doing in the forest anyway!?” Rainbow angrilly asked. The three crusaders wilted under their heated gazes.

“We were gonna do some potion making with Zecora...” Applebloom admitted.

“Well that's just just dandy.” Applejack said with heavy sarcasm.

That sarcasm, however, flew right over the fillies little heads. The older apple mare spotted their increasingly smiling faces and nipped it in the butt.

“But next time ask us to take ya there consarnit!” Applejack yelled. She made sure her voice wasn't too loud, but she also made sure to be loud enough to get her point across. The three filly’s ears flattened against their skulls at the berating.

“We're sorry…” They muttered simultaneously.

“Beg ya pardon? Sorry ain't gonna cut this time!”

“Yes, we have told you three countless times not to venture into that awful forest.” Rarity said. Sure, she did exaggerate a bit. But the point still stands; the Everfree Forest is no place for foals to be running about.

“For this point on, ya’ll are forbidden ta talk ta one another!” Applejack said in a near yell. “On top o’ that. You ain’t gonna go nowhere without any o’ us!” The ponies responsible for the fillies nodded with the older apple mare.

“You three are to never, ever leave our sights again. At least, until you earn our trust again.” Rarity said.

“Ch’ yeah. Like that’s gonna happen anytime soon.” Rainbow said while crossing her foreleggs. The Crusaders wilted further than ever. Their spirits severely wounded.

Meanwhile, Twilight had been brainstorming about certain developments.

*Talking Timber Wolves…* She thought. *How is this possible? How could nothing but an amalgamation of dead tree limbs and magic attain conscious thought and speech?* Her face hardened. *I have to get to the bottom of this…*

Twilight realized that, if she wanted to sate her mental hunger, she would have to venture into the Everfree Forest.

Of course, she wouldn’t dare set hoof in there. She would have her friends come with her. Maybe even one of the princesses, just to be extra safe. Maybe she can have some guards with them if they’re too busy. With herself being a princess and all.

*Hm. Looks like I have a solid plan!* Twilight thought happily to herself.

“Spike!” She called out to number one, and only, assistant. The little drake stood at attention at the mention of his name. “Take a letter please.” He nodded and readied a quill and scroll. “Dear Princess Celestia...”


Author's Note

Hi! Once again another idea that wouldn't leave y head until I wrote it down. I don't know I'f I'll continue this one though. I don't have a particular ending for this one.

And another thing. I am still writting my other fics. So no need to worry about that. I've been mentally exhausted with college finals. But I will get back into the groove of things when this semester ends.

Anyway, like, comment, and follow me if ya want. I could use some criticism on my fics. It'd be very much appreciated.

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