The Text Argues With the Text

by David Silver

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Random
Length: 1566

The Text, omnipotent being, gets in an argument with The Text. They've picked a human to drag to Equestria, but that's about where all agreement ends and the argument begins. Will it work out for anyone involved? Maybe the typos.

The Text, omnipotent being, gets in an argument with The Text. They've picked a human to drag to Equestria, but that's about where all agreement ends and the argument begins. Will it work out for anyone involved? Maybe the typos.

Published 2016-11-29 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-11-29 05:30:01 UTC

1 - Important Words

An image hovered in the void. Words appeared around it.

What should I do with this one?

Ah, yes. This one is afraid of horses. Perfect. They will face their fears, or perhaps die in the wilderness. Either way should prove worth watching.

Afraid of horses? Are you serious? You're going to go there, right out of the gate?

As the words appeared, some of the lettering shuffled around, correcting typos in the second text's structure quite without its permission.

Meta? Really? Is this about the green pony?

Don't you have your own story to write? I didn't plan to involve Lyra in this one. It would be far more amusing to have him run screaming from the flower ponies. A dual passing out would be ideal, though I doubt I would be so lucky.

Huh, the flower ponies, huh? Fight or flight? What makes you think “flight”? Give him the right set of tools… that could go in totally different directions.

One of them could turn around and buck him straight over. That would be some greeting to Equestria, wouldn't it? I don't want him to hurt them. What have they done to deserve it?

Nothing yet. They can respond in so many different ways though. This poor schmuck could save equestria… or break it. I don’t know, and neither do you.

If I already knew, it wouldn't be worth writing. The best stories are those that write themselves. I set the pieces, lay the board, and the game moves itself. You wouldn't understand.

Because I don’t cheat on the side of rainbows? Don’t pretend that you don’t cheat. You go out of your way to make them happy. And I think you know it.

Challenges should have a reward. The greater the challenge, the greater the reward. It's not always at once. Sometimes they must face many challenges, one after the next with no reward in sight, only pain. Only struggle. They grow. They earn their reward.

Are you saying that mine don’t?

And you don't deliver. You give them a tattered cloth, faded in the sun. It barely takes the form of a rainbow and barely gives the hint of one. A hollow reward despite the harsh trials you lay before them.

There is a strength there. They never stop. They will never stop. They have moved past any need for reward.

It's a dull and drab story that paints a harsh and unrewarding universe. There is strength there, but it is a strength that must exist to survive such a world. I prefer a friendlier one. As harsh as it ever is, there can be a victory won.

Victory is a question of scale. The man who holds back the nightmare one more night for his child is -- Sometimes victory, is “Yay food”.

The words collided in a horrible mess, leaving sentence fragments in the wake of it.

We're getting off-topic. What does this have to do with him?

Horses. He’s specifically scared of horses. And somehow you think if you dangle a big enough prize, you're less cruel than me. That offends me. Seriously.

You're still off-topic. What do you suggest, or do you have your own tale to weave?

Let’s ask him. Hello, we’re going to send you to a land of magical talking horses no matter what you say, so where do you want to go?

And also, I’m the friendly one. He was gonna surprise you with “magical horses”.

The universe became a stream of soothing colors.

"W-what?" asked the poor human that had been enjoying a servicable if unremarkable meal, only to find himself suddenly thrust into a void between two different colored words that drifted in his field of view.

Nothing for it. You've been selected to take a trip, to add meaning to your life. That is what you want, is it not?

"Magic horses?"

Yes, there will be magic horses. But if you make it through, I promise you WILL end up exactly where you asked to go. You will be stronger than you were, if you can make it. My clients have broken worlds. Well, one of them anyway. Happiness is not guaranteed in any pre-mortem state mind you.

Sigh. This is lacking in romance and mystery. What's the sport when they know too much going in?

"Excuse me?"

We're speaking right now. Hold on a moment.

The mystery is how will he cope! As for romance… You weren’t gonna bring Lyra in? That one mare who’s uniquely qualified to understand his Xenophobia. I mean, look at the poor sap, he doesn’t even know who we’re talking about here. He has no spoilers.

Xenophobia, Xenophilia, just two sides of the same coin. He has psychology issues, he needs psychology horse. Sorry dude, I know this is terrifying, but adult table things.

"Can I go home?"

No. Now look, this can still be salvaged, if you would kindly get out of the way and let me take it from here. He has the choice to make, and I want to hear what his answer is.

"Choice?" The man shook his head violently. "Look, stop talking like I'm not even here, fuck!"

If it makes you feel better you are really there. Had a guy who actually wasn’t recently. Nothing but problems. Don’t worry though, I promise you and your problems are real.

He's just trying to confuse you, ignore him. Look, here's the question. You can take one thing with you. Any one thing. You have to own the thing. The more dangerous or culturally significant the item, the harsher your starting point will be, like a handicap. Choose wisely.

"What is this, a game?"

He’s just gaming your response, the trick is in where you ask to go. Any place, any situation. What you bring is just the ante. Where do you want to go? If you’re willing to pay the price you can get there. If you don’t care what the price is, you can go anywhere.

There’s really only two questions. “Where do you want to be?” and “What are you willing to pay?”

Those are not the questions, at least one of them. We've already established where you're going, as this other has blown for us. For sake of argument, you want to go where your life can be worth something, right? Where you're not just another faceless, nameless cog in a machine.

"About that, neither of you know my name."

You'd be surprised. Please answer.

Or choose not to decide. “I don’t know” and “I don’t care” are also choices. I have fun with those. And remember, despite what my associate may tell you, there IS a cost and choosing not to pay it will have it’s own consequences.

He doesn't get to pick that, not right now. Stop muddling this. Pick what you're taking and let's be on with this. You, go away and bother your own story!

"Can I choose to go home?"

Certainly, go right back home and enjoy your pathetic life. You'll never get another chance to live your dreams. Is that what you really want?

Of course! I promise at the end of the day, the path I open will lead back to your warm bed and everything you love. Of course the path DOES lead through hell, and it MIGHT take a monster to walk it, but your life and your family are waiting on the other side.

You'd be well-advised to ignore that one. He's only offering a way back, and it's not even a good way. I point forward, to progress, in yourself and the world. Leave that all behind for better.

"So… about those horses. You know I--"

Get over it. A small price. Now what are you bringing with you?

Then you don’t care where the path leads?

Not so long as he makes his decision. Look, this is going nowhere very quickly. Do you have a choice?

"So what answer lets me get away from the both of you?"

There isn’t. You have to choose. Isn’t that nice? You get choices.

Look, I'll make it simple. Why don't you take that nice little tablet with you, the one you always claimed you'd draw on but never got around to. Where you're going, you'll have plenty to draw. Take that and I'll even go light on the penalty.

"Penalty? It's your idea."

Where do you want to be? Are you willing to pay for it?

You will get what you asked for. Results may vary. Side effects are scary, true. But I will promise to put you exactly where you want to be.

"I want to be sitting at my table, finishing off my TV Dinner. No wild adventures, no missing parts. No magic horses. How's that?"

Ugh. You take him. You've ruined the whole thing. I hope you're happy.

You silly bug. I only promised you a choice in half of that. You get to choose the destination. I’m sorry.

Author's Note

A part of the Silver Verse, done in collab with KiKi!