Brunch Time. [applause][plays theme song]
Truly, the Equestrian landscape was picturesque. Fairly, the mansion, just aways from the village, was monolithic with splendor. Vastly, the hallways, rooms, and empty chambers were juxtaposed neatly, painted like an impressionist masterpiece. Slowly, the bright morning blossomed out from the firmament to the hills, trees, bodies of spring and saltwater and woodlands. Purely, like a gradient, the sun, displayed through the glass windowpanes, rose from the east of perfect, pastel valleys, coloring the dust in the air golden-brown. Verbally, the adverbs were killing it in the first paragraph.
From the bedrooms of the mansion, the main six (and Spike) were sleeping cozily in quilted beds and sleeping bags, for they had the day off, and they all had a decent party the night before, concerning with games, movies, pizza, cake, bottled sodas, other delicious foods that make you sick, etc. Plastered purple wallpaper wrapped around each of the dormitories like a dragon. Brass-painted cedar borders, along with ol' fashioned hinges, held the wooden doors in place, and the pillows and blankets were soft as cake. As the sun glimmered and slightly simmered [not really] the windowpanes, the natural alarm clock gladly woke the main characters from their easy-breezy-lemon-squeezy-dreamy-dreezy slumber. One by one, they all opened their tired eyelids to look up at a clear lavender ceiling, and that's it. Just a plain ceiling to look at, that's all.
Cohesively, like clockwork, everypony (and Spike) stretched, yawned, slept in a little, got up, then went back to bed, got up, then went back to bed. You really enjoying this, aren't you? Long scene short, they all got up in their own pace, traversed wherever they went in the mansion, eventually coming to the kitchen. Rainbow Dash was the first, since she had enough energy to fast-walk to the cupboards , and reach for some medium/dark roast packages. With filters under her arm, and the deliciously smelling biddle under the other, she started to brew some coffee of limited kinds, even decaf. Literally. Twilight was second, with a novel disguised as a manual on one hoof, and glasses on her pale, magenta face. Fluttershy and Rarity were next, a tad perked up to make some toasty marshmallow treats. Again, food that makes you si...Pinkie Pie walked in behind them with a party encyclopedia, and drowsily sat down, skimming page after page of historic facts and such. Finally, Applejack (and Spike) appeared, since they were heavy sleepers, apparently. (Just go with it.) Side by side, they both sat in one chair simultaneously, which, as reg'lar physics would have it, Applejack, surprisingly, fell to the floor. Patched, padded blue linoleum greeted her face on impact. Other than that catastrophe, everypony (and Spike) welcomed each other with either a 'Hello', 'Good Morning', 'Oh my goodness', or that hip, rad, fresh-and-new slang of onomatopoeia known as 'Ech!' Perhaps, this morning will turn into a slow-but-surely, not prematurely, not even obscure coffee extravaganza. Abbodanza!
They all had French roast.
When the treats were done cooking, the gang composed themselves and sat together like the Knights at the Round Table, only tired, feeling good (except for Applejack, because, you know, linoleum), feeling so good, and so relaxed. You've done all you can to get in the state of tran...To start off, they gave a blessing, for some reason, and ate. Going in a circle, Rainbow Dash ate her treat, thinking about the day ahead, while Twilight still read her disguised novel in hoof. All the contents she read in the book so far, (learn your pronouns), was notes, a redhead, a few clues, fancy cities to trek, and a subway. She didn't get to the part where the protagonist realizes the antagonist was her first interview. Whatever it was, it was awakening. Fluttershy thought about the animals doing another chorus for the townponies, for some reason, whereas Rarity was still drowsy. So was Pinkie Pie, shockingly almost fast asleep.
In an instance, Spike spoke up, "So, uh, you notice any bands playing in the town recently?"
Rapidly, the main six all looked at him, then looked at each other, then looked at him, then looked at each other. Fo' shizzle. Fluttershy replied, "Oh, you mean all that noise that keeps banging around town, like, 'oo-oo-ooh, hash hash, ooh!'?"
"No, more like 
." Spike retorted.
"Oh, chap-hop! I love chap-hop!" Rarity exclaimed.
"Ha, the only time you listen to that crap was when we all stumbled to that bar in Manehattan while that group played," laughed Rainbow Dash. She leaned over to the slumped dragon. "Just curious, what was the name of the group?"
"Um, Lipizzan Krew?"
"What? Are you serious?" She twirled around her chair, though that's not how she acts. I don't know why I put this in the story. Maybe I shouldn't eat sugar this late at night. What the fre...Rainbow Dash, feeling giddy now, turned to Twilight and remarked, "Do you know any people makin' noise over town?"
Laying down her pseudo-novel, she answered, "Well there's this really weird group called 'W.A.P.C.A.T.C.H.'. What's even more stupid is that it's an acronym for, get this, 'Webcomic Action Ponies Charade Around The Campfire Hierarchy'."
The conversation, like the stock market, it crashed.
As the morning passed by, the gang (and Spike) sipped their hot beverages and enjoyed the aurora and aroma, the flora and the fauna, the cuckoo and the Sousa, and the doo-doo and the Po-Po. It went fantabulous. After a moment, Twilight articulated, "Actually, Fluttershy, that was W.A.P.C.A.T.C.H. you heard just outside the town. Rough bunch, were they?"
"Yes, they were loud. I couldn't hear myself think." She whinnied. Boy, that verb is old. Let's try that again.
"Yes, they were loud. I couldn't hear myself think." She whip-and-neigh-neighed. Boy, that verb is old. Let's try that again.
"Yes, they were loud. I couldn't hear myself think." She replied.
"I tell you what," Spike added. "Another group showed up right after them were called 'Whorsing Around', and they did a version of 'Row Your Boat', but like a hardcore punk version of it. It was awesome!"
"I know, I was there, it was a purty, purty, party, puuuurty, puuuuurty,..." Pinkie Pie yawned, head laying sideways on her book.
Bonafide like a beautiful bug, Applejack got up from the linoleum, because, you know, she was there throughout the whole conversation. Itallically, she leaned over to Spike, eyeing him with a mean, lean glare as she remembered it was him that scooted her out of the chair, that bastard. She pointed her hand at him. They have hands. Their hooves are gone. Now they have hands. We don't make any mistakes. They're happy accidents. Look, no hooves! They have hands now. I am Bob Ross. Does Bob Ross is gay? How many licks does it take to get to the center of Bob Ross? The world may never know.
"So who got shot?" Raindow Bash asked. The camaraderie (and Spike) pondered, wondered, and squandered like a California condor.
"Um, some guy, I don't know." Fluttershy answered. "I think he was new in the neighborhood, and for some reason, he was getting into a nasty argument with some of the ponies only because of the lawn care. He called them, excuse my language, 'Wetbacks?' That's a nasty word. I'm sorry, guys."
"That's alright. I heard him say that, and I didn't like it either." Twilight replied. Now, book marked, she crossed her arms and sat back, because this is totally a normal sentence that should be taught in the English language. Yes, sir-ree, Bob!
Suddenly, like Windows XP start-up music, there was a great trumpet blare, and a roar of thunder colliding outside in the main fields of 'Acoustica'. The main six (and Spike) stood up immediately and simultaneously. For a bunch of ponies (and Spike), that sure was White. They all rushed outside with a look of horror in their big, big, anime eyes. The thunder, and all the co-motion was, are you ready for this, hundreds and thousands and millions and billions and trillions of...BANDS! They all flooded the hills with instruments lying broken in a soft cacophony of notes.
"The musicians are coming! The musicians are coming!" shouted an obnoxious black pony, wearing a rock t-shirt, and black apparel. He then bolted to the left, while yelling, "Am I funny now? Am I cool now? Hey, I'm a pony! Is this real life?"
Oh and DJ Pon-3 was there too. She was chill.
Anyways, WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO STOP THIS MADNESS? WILL THE MULTITUDE OF BANDS CRUSH THEM WITHOUT KNOWING THEY COMMITTED MURDER? WILL THE BRONY COMMUNITY FINALLY SEE THIS STORY AS EITHER A PARODY OR JUST CLASSIC RANDOM POSTING? FIND OUT ON TODAY'S EPISODE OF RANDOM SPAMMING LETTERS ADVENTURES!
And then they all died. The end.
Author's Note
Campy's note: This is literally my first time doing a "story" on this website. This has changed from just a really, really, REALLY stupid story to just a satirical parody of the show. Plus, I might not know a lot about the show because I don't watch it, nor am I a brony. Feedback is much appreciated, and other professional sayings, and so on, and etc. If you want, you could also troll on this page as well.
Try to see if you can spot as many band names in this story. There's about 20 of them so far. Might make a virtual mixtape of all the groups I listed in the story. BOY, DO I LOVE USING SPOILER TEXT!!!! (does fake laugh, but really enjoys just spamming spoiler text in notes.) Sorry, I got carried away right there.