Taming the Wild Horse

by SFaccountant

Chapters

Fillydelphia
Dealing With Rejection (For Fun & Profit)
Trotter's Gulch
Metalleus
Spark
Homecoming
Judgment Deferred
Brave New World
Blood Rite
Hunting the Fallen
Prologue
Heartbreaker, Skullcracker

Fillydelphia

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Chapter 1

Fillydelphia

"All right, Trixie think this should do the trick."

Trixie backed away from Ranma, looking over the stallion with an approving smile. He was now wearing a purple cloak that was the same shade as Trixie's cape and hat, but lacked the star pattern. It was fastened at Ranma's neck by a bejeweled clasp, exactly as Trixie's cape used to be before that gem had been stolen. The MacGuffin Stone gleamed in the early morning light under the stallion's chin, fastened to the brass accessory.

Other than the artifact and coloration, the cloak more resembled the obscuring clothing that Rite and Swan Song had worn to hide their identities from prying eyes. The fabric hugged tightly around Ranma's rear legs and included a hood to cover his unfortunately unique hairstyle (that he absolutely refused to abandon). It perfectly hid his main identifying traits, while also matching Trixie's arcane accessories such that he could easily be dismissed as the magician's hired hoof. Which he was, for a given stretch in the definition of "hired."

Ranma shifted uncomfortably within the cloak. "I know I complain about not having clothes, but this thing is a little tight, Trix. I can't fight in this."

"If you need to fight, feel free to take it off first," Trixie said while she levitated a saddlebag harness onto Ranma's back, "but the point of the disguise is to avoid fights in the first place."

"Not really my strong suit," the martial artist mumbled.

"Trixie is aware of this," she drawled, "but at the very least, this should allow us to pass through towns without being challenged by random guards. Trixie isn't expecting miracles, here."

Ranma raised a hoof and pressed it against the MacGuffin Stone. The gem was slightly warm, and it pulsed gently at his touch. "Fair enough. Why am I taking the MacGuffin Stone, though?"

"Because it's yours," Trixie replied, arching an eyebrow. "Did you forget? You actually agreed to fight an Equestrian Princess on that point."

"I didn't forget, no. But honestly, I wouldn't mind if you took it instead," he admitted. "You can actually use the stupid thing. What good does it do for me to carry it around?"

Trixie continued to stare at him strangely. "It protects it from the various idiots and villains who might take it and abuse its incredible power. Again, you LITERALLY fought an alicorn over this."

"That was different. I trust you, Trix," Ranma scoffed.

Trixie flinched in surprise. This wasn't technically the first time she had heard those words, but before they had always come from a member of her show's audience or some other credulous rube, like those unicorn colts from Ponyville. Incidentally, she had also lied aggressively to all those same ponies in order to earn their trust.

The magician coughed and turned away. "Y-Yes. Well... good! Trixie could surely protect the MacGuffin Stone as easily as you could! But why should Trixie do that? It's your problem!"

Ranma frowned, letting his hoof fall back down. "I guess... but if we're going to carry it around, we should at least use it, right? It would be pretty handy to zap people into it like you did to that bounty hunter yesterday. And couldn't you use it for other stuff too?"

"Yes. Stuff like destroying the world, or messing with the sun. Neither of which Trixie is very keen on," Trixie retorted. "Trixie has had... bad experiences with powerful magic artifacts before. And while the MacGuffin's ability to suck up magic creatures and spit them out at will is interesting, Trixie is very concerned that it's only a small fraction of what the gem is capable of. The notes Trixie took from Blood Rite are incomplete, and serious magic research is not Trixie's specialty. Trixie has little idea what could be unleashed if the MacGuffin Stone was used to its full potential."

Ranma nodded reluctantly. He was disappointed that Trixie didn't want to use the stone as her personal magical weapon, but he was slowly coming around to the idea that most ponies didn't spend their lives trying to find new and better ways to brutalize each other. Yet another way humans were just plain better than equines.

"Instead, Trixie is going to keep the Alchemist's Heart!" Trixie chirped, suddenly floating the ruby out from under her hat. "It's a more conventional artifact, if not still heads and tails better than what Trixie has used before. Like the MacGuffin Stone, Trixie isn't totally sure of all of its powers, but it offers a substantially lower possibility of triggering the apocalypse." She lowered the Alchemist's Heart onto an upturned hoof, staring hard at the gemstone. "The only problem is that this gemstone is a tad conspicuous. It belonged to a famous Equestrian General, after all."

"That Firebrand guy was famous? He didn't seem like that big a deal," Ranma remarked, staring closely at the ruby. It was a teardrop-shaped stone with a set of angular discolorations within its heart, forming a strange, inexplicable shape. Ranma imagined it was some kind of magic symbol, and that immediately set it apart from any ordinary ruby at a glance.

"Well, he was no Princess, but yes. You might have noticed that Equestria isn't drowning in military talent. Firebrand was probably the only unicorn in the army that could take on Swan Song on his own. And Trixie doubts he could have even managed that without the Alchemist's Heart, so he'll want to get it back." Trixie stuffed the gemstone back up into her hat. "Trixie will probably get a new gemstone clasp with a fake facing on the front. The ruby can be attached to the other side to keep it ready while also hiding it from enemies." Trixie paused, taking a moment to appreciate how she now considered being violently assaulted to be a part of her everyday life.

Ranma rubbed his chin with his hoof. "But when you think about it... since that Firebrand guy is one of the few good fighters Equestria has, shouldn't we try to get his gem back to him? I mean, we never did manage to capture Rite or Song, and those guards can't even keep ordinary bandits off the road. Keeping an important magic weapon could seriously hurt the kingdom."

Trixie stared at Ranma. Ranma stared back.

Then, after about ten seconds, both ponies started laughing.

"Oh, Celestia! Trixie thought you were serious for a second there!"

"Yeah, right! I think we both know who he'd be using that thing on as soon as he got it back!"

"Hee hee! C'mon, let's head into town."

Fillydelphia was one of the larger cities in Equestria, with a dense urban look that was much closer to what Ranma was used to cities looking like. Granted, It wasn't much compared to Tokyo. There was a distinct lack of satellite dishes and video screens among the buildings, and the roads were populated by carts instead of motor vehicles. But it was a big change from the rural townships he'd seen so far from pony civilization.

"Ooh! That plaza will be perfect for Trixie's show!" Trixie stood up high upon her cart, smiling as she spotted a large open space among the buildings. "There's no raised platform for a stage, so Trixie will need to build one first..." she continued mumbling to herself and putting together plans for putting on her show while Ranma plodded along down the street.

"Is there anything I could do?" Ranma asked.

"Trixie will have plenty of jobs for you once the supplies are gathered," the magician assured him. "For now, Trixie is concerned mostly about scheduling and local regulations. The larger cities sometimes require permits or some other nonsense in order for hardworking businessponies like Trixie to ply their trade." She snorted, and then tapped one side of the wagon. "Take the next turn. Trixie believes city hall is in that direction."

Ranma took the turn as instructed, but gave the unicorn a worried glance. "Are you sure I should be hanging around city hall?"

"Why, are you planning to blow this one up like in Saddlebrook?"

"Swan Song destroyed the city hall in Saddlebrook, not me!" Ranma protested. "I never blew up any buildings!"

Trixie stared at him expressionlessly.

"I... I never blew up any buildings on PURPOSE," Ranma corrected awkwardly. "Anyway, I was just asking because there's probably going to be a lot of guards and maybe a nearby bounty board."

"Trixie knows. It will be an excellent test of your disguise," Trixie pointed out. "And if it turns out that it doesn't fool anypony, better we get chased out of town now than after Trixie's set up a show."

"Huh. Okay. Good plan," Ranma admitted, "you've adapted really well to this fugitive thing."

"Trixie is a genius," she said smugly. After a few seconds, her preening expression faded slightly. "Also, this technically isn't the first time Trixie has had to step lightly around the law."

"Really? What happened?"

"Trixie will just say that certain regions in Equestria have surprisingly unreasonable fire codes," the magician said, coughing lightly. "It's not important. What is important is that the street seems to be blocked off. What the hay is all this?"

The source of Trixie's ire was a large crowd of ponies that cut across the street and formed a nearly solid wall of mingling equines in front of the T-intersection in front of city hall. Trixie couldn't discern a purpose for the crowd from a distance; there was nothing happening on the street they were blocking, nor were the ponies carrying signs, shouting, or giving any other hint of organized activity. When they got close enough, Trixie saw that the intersection ahead was cordoned off from one side of the street to the other, physically blocking any hoof traffic trying to get through.

A loud whistle came from behind them, and Trixie jumped in surprise. Ranma winced and halted the wagon, looking about for the source of the noise.

The source was, in fact, a mare in a blue police vest and hat. She had a whistle hanging from a neck band and a pair of leg cuffs attached to her flank, and her cutie mark consisted of a police badge. She slowed her approach to a trot alongside Trixie's wagon, and then let the whistle drop from her mouth.

"This intersection is closed! You're going to have to go down Chestnut Street for a detour, depending on where you're trying to get to!" the officer warned.

Trixie frowned. "Trixie is trying to get to city hall," she explained, pointing a hoof toward the building in question.

"Then Trixie will have to wait until tomorrow. There's some official business happening today, and it's closed to visitors."

"What kind of business? Trixie needs to speak to a city clerk!"

"If this 'Trixie' pony wants to know more, they'll have to read the papers or ask somepony else. I'm just here to deal with traffic, all right?" The police officer started to walk away, but her steps faltered when she glanced at Ranma.

Ranma had been staring at the mare in surprised silence, silently wondering why this city had modern-ish police officers while other regions were protected by armored guards with spears. When she returned the scrutiny, however, he quickly turned his head away.

"... Is something the matter, officer?" Trixie asked.

The other mare walked around Ranma's front, staring intently at the face under the hood. Ranma endured her gaze while staring straight forward at nothing, guessing that trying to avoid her would just make him look even more suspicious.

Eventually, the officer smiled. "Nah, there's nothing wrong. I was just thinking... My shift ends in a little bit. If you're free, maybe we can get some coffee together." She raised a foreleg and brushed some dirt off of Ranma's shoulder, fluttering her eyelashes.

Ranma opened his mouth to reply, but Trixie (thankfully) beat him to it.

"I'm afraid we have a lot of work to do, Officer. My assistant here will have to get back to you once we're done if he wants to take you up on that," the magician said.

The police pony shot her an annoyed look, but then frowned and backed off. "Ah, well. Can't be helped, then. Enjoy your stay in Fillydelphia, folks!" She quickly turned around and raced off.

Trixie smirked once the officer was out of earshot. "Well, it seems the disguise works! Well enough to throw off the suspicion of random officers, at least."

Ranma let out a breath he had been holding. "It's something, I guess... what do you want to do about this road block? Do we really have anything else to do if we're not setting up one of your shows?"

Trixie craned her neck to look down the blocked-off street. Her position atop the wagon gave her a view above the crowd's head, and she could see the gleam of Royal Guard armor heading toward the intersection. "Interesting... let's stay here for the moment. Trixie wants to see what's so important that they've shut out everypony for the day."

Ranma didn't see what the point was, but didn't bother to argue. He shrugged off the wagon harness, and then climbed up into the bed order to get a better view himself. Once he had a good line of sight to the street, he could see guards marching down the road in formation. At first he assumed it was a parade, but there seemed to be too little fanfare, no music, and the soldiers looked very much like they didn't want to be here. That suggested a normal deployment, if not a slightly noisier one.

"... Hey, Trix?" Ranma turned to the mare sitting next to him.

"What?" Trixie continued staring down the road.

"This, uh... This might seem like a weird question..."

"Trixie is sure it will be. Your ignorance is anything but normal."

Ranma frowned at the unicorn, but pushed aside his annoyance. "Okay, well, I was just wondering... am I... good-looking, for a stallion?"

This managed to pry Trixie's gaze from the road ahead. She turned to stare at Ranma, her face expressionless aside from a single arched brow.

"What? I don't know, okay?" Ranma said defensively, lowering his voice. "I was pretty hot stuff when I was a human. I can't tell if it's the same when I'm like this. I mean, I'm guessing it is, because of Swan and that mare cop just then. Not that I WANT mares coming on to me, but... uh..."

Trixie waited until Ranma trailed off, and then waited some more. Ranma squirmed uncomfortably, wondering if he had crossed some unspoken line with his traveling companion.

Eventually, Trixie shrugged. "Well, Trixie certainly isn't attracted to you, but Trixie is pretty sure Swan Song didn't fall for your sense of style or poetic soul." She snorted. "As stallions go, yes, you're quite handsome. And you have a pleasing, athletic form, as is to be expected. If you weren't constantly getting into fights, explosions, or weaponized natural disasters, Trixie is sure you'd have a lot more admirers."

"Thought so. I mean, honestly, being this sexy is kind of annoying, but what am I supposed to do?" the pigtailed stallion said with an exaggerated sigh. "... So... you, uh... DON'T think I'm attractive, personally?"

"Ranma, is there something you want to tell Trixie?" she asked, bemused.

"No! No, nothing like that!" Ranma insisted awkwardly. "It's just that, you know, I'm probably going to be a pony for a long time. Or... forever. So I just thought..."

"That you should look into finding a nice mare to settle down with?" Trixie interjected, sounding thoughtful. "Maybe even start a family and breed another generation of super-equine walking disasters? Trixie can only imagine."

Ranma's expression soured further. "That's not what I meant, Trix."

Trixie smirked at him. "Yes, yes, Trixie knows. Settle down, sidekick." This just needled the martial artist further, and he bristled while Trixie continued. "As a matter of fact, Trixie's affections and lack thereof are simply a matter of taste. To put it simply, you're far from Trixie's type of stallion."

"Uh huh..." Ranma wasn't at all surprised that Trixie didn't harbor an attraction to him, given that she knew what he was. He was quite surprised, however, that his actually being a human wasn't the primary reason.

"There's a sort of rugged, roguish, masculine quality to you, certainly. But you're also broke, crude, reckless, and - although Trixie doesn't like to harp on the point - illiterate."

"I am NOT illiterate! I can read and write MY language, just not yours!" Ranma hissed angrily.

"For all the good that does you in Equestria," Trixie mumbled while rolling her eyes. "But fine. Rather than illiterate, you're just utterly ignorant of this world; you can't read the common language of ponies, you insist that our Princess doesn't know how the sun works, and you don't even know the relationship between pegasi and clouds. Not your fault, sure. But still a turn-off." She tapped a hoof against her chin. "And then, of course, there's the fact that your very presence inevitably invites strife and violent conflict. Most marriages find it very hard to survive when one partner is suddenly ambushed and imprisoned."

Ranma dropped down onto his belly, making a disgusted noise. It wasn't as if he thought he would make a great pony boyfriend, or necessarily wanted others to think so. He still didn't like being berated as a clueless barbarian, though.

Then he turned his head up toward the magician again. "You didn't mention my curse. Did you forget that I'm a mare sometimes?" he asked wryly.

"Not at all. Trixie doesn't consider that a negative," the unicorn replied, looking out into the street again.

It took Ranma about twenty seconds to process that statement, and when he finished his first conclusion was that he had heard wrong.

"Wait, did you mean that you just don't care because you're not interested in me like that? Or-"

Trixie gasped. "There it is! That's a royal carriage! Those guards are escorting Prince Blueblood!"

Ranma didn't know who that was or why it mattered, but he was surprised to see Trixie breaking into an excited smile at the sight. He pushed himself up to get a better view and checked the vehicle coming down the street.

The carriage was chased in gold with a tall roof framed by crimson silk curtains. It was hauled by a pair of huge earth ponies, each of which wore a suit of silvery plate mail armor stamped with numerous symbols on the sides. Ranma imagined that one of the symbols was the owner's cutie mark, since his legs were obscured, and another symbol was similar to that of the Equestrian flag.

Within the carriage, atop a large silken pillow, was a white unicorn stallion with a wavy blond mane. He wore a fancy shirt and coat - without any pants, bizarrely enough - and had a cutie mark that resembled a golden compass face. Ranma studied the pony as the convoy advanced, and then moved on to the second vehicle. This was a less ostentatious wagon, with several more ponies dressed in fancy clothes who waved to the spectators. The third and final vehicle carried not ponies, but a half-dozen padlocked treasure chests with as many guards forming a tight escort around it.

"Which one is Prince Blueblood?" Ranma asked, tilting his head to the side.

"The unicorn in the front, obviously," Trixie retorted.

"A unicorn? I thought the Princes were the ponies with horns AND wings."

"No, those are the Princesses. ’Prince' is just a title of nobility."

That seemed weird and vaguely unfair to the martial artist, but he let the matter drop. Trixie was obviously excited to see this stallion, and it was rare to see the magician impressed by another pony.

"Okay, fine. So what's this guy's deal?"

"Prince Blueblood's 'deal' is that he's Princess Celestia's nephew, and a royal envoy," Trixie sniffed, glaring at Ranma. "And since you asked about Trixie's type of stallion, he would be it."

"I didn't ask abou-"

"Classy, cultured, educated, and respected throughout the land!" Trixie continued, talking right over her companion. "A seat of power in the heart of Canterlot! A veritable ocean of wealth at his hoof-tips! The elite of the elite! Basically the polar opposite of you." Her irritation melted away with a dreamy sigh while she stared at the royal convoy.

Ranma stared at Trixie, then back at the procession that was marching down the street. Then he looked back at Trixie. It seemed to him that her fawning gaze was fixated on the third wagon that held boxes of treasure, not the first wagon that carried its owner.

I guess I know why "broke" was the first thing that came to mind when she was complaining about me, Ranma mused to himself.

He didn't especially mind being described as the opposite of the gaudy unicorn in the street though, because he completely agreed with it. Ranma had met his fair share of royalty and elite noblemen. They were, without exception, haughty, whiny, self-absorbed jerks who considered their family's wealth to be a personal achievement. At the very least, however, most of those human royals had been powerful martial artists; somehow Ranma doubted that this Blueblood stallion had ever been in a fight in his life.

"So you like the snobby noble type, eh? Yeah, I could see that," Ranma mumbled to himself. "What's this all about, anyway?"

"What is what about?" Trixie mumbled, her eyes still locked on the wagons.

"Why is the Prince even here? He's bringing along a few dozen guards and a wagon full of money, right? It's got to be a big deal, unless he does this every time he visits a city," Ranma reasoned.

Trixie had to reluctantly concede the point. This did look like an event of official ceremony, rather than a "casual" royal visit. There was also the fact that the Prince was headed to the city hall, rather than the city hillside where the estate mansions were located.

"The police officer said something about the papers. Turn the wagon around and let's find a vendor. Trixie's curiosity is piqued."

Ranma hopped down onto the street and slipped into the harness with practiced ease. With a sharp tug, the wagon lurched into a turn and reversed its direction to head back up the street.

It took some time for Ranma to get them away from city hall, since a steady flow of ponies racing to see a royal convoy meant a great deal of traffic heading the other way and getting in his path. Eventually they reached a news kiosk by a street corner, and Ranma swung in next to the sidewalk.

Trixie's horn glowed, and without uttering a word a single bit floated to the newsstand while a rolled-up newspaper floated past it in the opposite direction. The pony manning the stand barely had time to shout a "Thank you!" before Ranma pulled away into the street again.

"Well, well, well... look at who made headlines. AGAIN," Trixie grumbled, staring at print of Ranma's most current bounty poster. The headline "Equestrian TRAITOR Reaches Historic Bounty: 200,000 Reward!" was printed across the top in huge letters, and at the bottom were several pictures of shattered and burnt-out buildings. "This is why Trixie stopped buying papers regularly. There's no point when Trixie has a front-row seat to the biggest news in Equestria. A member of the royal family is in town today, and you knocked it clean off the front page."

Ranma ducked his head down a little lower, trying to find as much comfort he could in the hood and cloak that obscured him. "Could you lower your voice, Trix? You don't know who could be listening!"

Trixie rolled her eyes and peeled several pages back. "Ah, here we are..."

After several minutes of reading the article, Trixie's eyebrow rose. She turned the page. Several minutes after that, she rolled the paper back up and stuffed it into a corner of the wagon.

"It seems Trixie's luck is as rotten as ever. This isn't good."

Ranma halted the cart, looking alarmed. "What? What is it? Are they here for me?"

"No, for once this has nothing to do with you. Just upper-class politics, is all." Trixie saw Ranma's uncomprehending look, and then elaborated. "The mayor of Fillydelphia is retiring soon. He happened to be a very close friend of the royal family, and so Canterlot has decided to hold a big party to see him off. They also sent Prince Blueblood to attend, as you saw earlier, and he will obviously be very influential in deciding the mayor's successor if they don't decide to just flat-out let the Prince appoint who he wants. This means that everypony who wants the job will be at the ball and clamoring for his attention and favor."

Ranma nodded along silently. "Okay... and why is that bad? What does this have to do with you?"

"It has NOTHING to do with Trixie, which is the problem!" the magician griped. "Trixie was planning to set up a big show and rake it in during this stop, but the ball is tomorrow! Nopony is going to be paying attention to a magic show with a royal party taking place, even if Trixie can set something up without permits or anything!" She dropped onto her belly, fuming. "Trixie was counting on a big city crowd to boost earnings! And it's only a matter of days until you do something to have us driven out of town, so time is at a premium, here!"

Ranma frowned. "So you don't want to set up your show?"

Trixie groaned. "Trixie might as well try, but it would hardly be worth it. Trixie has done these city gigs before. If you're not working with the local guilds - which can take WEEKS - you need to fight for an audience. And if Trixie ends up breaking any rules because city hall isn't open to provide the necessary red tape, things could get ugly fast. Those guild ponies are surprisingly humorless, for thespians."

"I don't really think you have to be worried about being bullied out of town with me around," Ranma pointed out.

"No, Trixie doesn't. Trixie is quite worried about a simple attempt at intimidation snowballing into another military occupation complete with sorcerer duels and the imposition of martial law, though."

Ranma's ears pinned back under his hood. "Ah. Yeah, uh... I guess that could happen. Good call." Then he twisted his head around to look up at his employer. "So if you're not doing your show, do you want to go to the ball?"

Trixie blinked and tilted her head to look at Ranma. "What?"

"You know, the royal party. Wanna go to that? Maybe you can even meet that Blueblood guy. Why not?"

Trixie stared. "... What are you going on about? Trixie can't just show up at a royal function without being invited. That's not how this works!"

Ranma smirked. "What, you're telling me the Great and Powerful Trixie can't get invited to some lame government dance?"

Trixie's face turned as pink as her magic, and she quickly jumped up to her hooves. "Don't you taunt Trixie! This and that are different things! Being as Great and Powerful as Trixie is - to say nothing of Trixie's recent role in rescuing a Princess and saving Equestria - doesn't suggest that Trixie can just waltz into whatever social function she pleases!"

Ranma was honesty surprised by the angry vehemence with which Trixie protested, and he quickly banished the smile from his face. He enjoyed poking fun at Trixie as much as anypony, but now wasn't the time for that. "Okay, fine. But seriously, if you could get in, would you want to go?"

"In a heartbeat," Trixie replied.

"Okay. I'll get us in."

There was a long, awkward silence between the two.

"... Trixie would say you're crazy, but compared to being a monkey-creature from a different world transported here via a world-destroying magic gemstone, this kind of banal foolishness is kind of refreshing," the magician admitted. "How would YOU, an enemy of the state with no grounding in pony society, get invited to a royal ball?"

"Eh, if we absolutely needed to be invited then I could probably work something out, but I don't see the point. I can just sneak us in," Ranma explained.

Trixie recoiled, her eyes wide. "S-Sneak in? To a royal function?"

She honestly seemed shocked at the idea, which Ranma thought was bizarre. "Yeah. So what? You'll lie to guards and police, but lying to a bouncer to get into some party crosses the line?"

"Again, that's different!" the mare hissed. "Trixie does those things out necessity to avoid violent conflict and earn a living! Lying to ponies to get into a party is just..." she trailed off, and her expression cooled a bit. "Well, Trixie doesn't really want to take any unnecessary risks right now, is all."

"And you won't have to! This is all me!" Ranma said with a grin.

Trixie's stare hardened, as if she was trying to read his eyes to see what kind of particular stupidity was brewing in the cursed pony's head. "All you. Really."

"Sure! While we're there, I can even get you some time alone with your crush!" Ranma assured her, winking.

Trixie recoiled again, looking even more scandalized than before. "Crush?! Trixie doesn't have a crush!"

"Really? You were almost drooling over that Blueblood guy before. You don't want to go out with him?"

Trixie spent several seconds sputtering incoherently, and then stopped. She took a deep breath, and then spoke in a cold, firm voice. "Trixie was simply expressing her preferences, since we were on the topic. Trixie was not 'drooling' over Blueblood, nor does Trixie have a 'crush' on him. Yes, he is an example of Trixie's ideal stallion, but Blueblood is a Prince."

"Yeah. So what? You don't like Princes?" Ranma asked. "I mean, I could understand that, actually. I HATE Princes. But you seemed like you were into that."

"That's not the problem," Trixie said with a slight growl. "The Great and Powerful Trixie, as magnificent and beautiful as she is, is not... that is to say, Trixie can't just..."

Ranma saw she was struggling to explain her protest, and he frowned. The stallion shrugged off the wagon harness, and then reared up to lean against the front of the transport.

"Trix, if you're trying to say that you're not good enough for that prissy blond dope because you're not a royal horse, you're just wrong," Ranma said bluntly.

Trixie again flinched back, her eyes wide.

"You're awesome, and anyone that says otherwise is either stupid or jealous. If you ask me, this Blueblood guy isn't good enough to wipe your hooves. But if he's your type of pony, I say go for it. And I can help! Seriously!"

As Ranma's crystal blue eyes bored into hers, Trixie felt her heartbeat surge and a wave of strange, energizing heat rushed from the tip of her horn to the bottom of her hooves. It was a somewhat familiar feeling, similar to the rush she felt during the applause of an audience or the gushing praise of an impressed youngster. This sensation was more intense, somehow, and it made her a bit dizzy as her cheeks heated up.

Ranma saw that Trixie was still gaping at him, and his casual confidence started to weaken. "I really don't know why this sounds so crazy to you, and if you really don't want to do it, that's fine." He reached up with a leg and touched it to Trixie's shin. "But I want to help you out, here. You put up with a lot for my sake, and the least I can do is a little favor like getting you into a party to flirt with a guy you like."

Trixie would have normally followed this comment with an automatic snarky response about "the least he could do," but the sudden surge of bliss banished such ideas from her mind. A goofy grin stretched across her muzzle, and she puffed out her chest before she replied.

"Well, when you put it THAT way, it's not like Trixie has anything better to do!" The magician laughed, her cheeks still flushed. "All right, why not? Let's bag Trixie a Prince!"

"Yes! I won't let you down, Trix!" Ranma said brightly before dropping back down to the street.

Trixie felt like she should be horrified at the prospect of trusting Ranma to assemble the infiltration of a formal event and a romantic interlude, but she was currently too giddy to worry. She also found Ranma's convictions surprisingly infectious. Whether or not he could actually pull this off, he obviously thought that success was all but assured. That didn't make it so, but at the least it meant that the cursed stallion had a good idea of how this would actually work rather than hoping everything simply turned out for the best.

Ranma fit himself back into the harness, and then pulled the wagon forward again. "So we'll need to prepare for this party tonight, then. Do ponies wear clothes for formal dances? I don't think I'll ever understand when it's okay for you guys to be naked or not."

"We do! Unfortunately, Trixie doesn't have a good dress among her things, but the pocket change from those bounty hunters the other day should cover it." She twisted her head around, searching the various shops that lined the streets. "There! There's a dress shop! Trixie will pick something out, and then we can find a shop that can sell us a suit for you!"

"No, that's okay. Take out the canteen. I'll take a dress too."

Trixie's happy grin slowly faded, shrinking as her brow furrowed. She didn't speak again until Ranma had already crossed the street and parked the wagon.

"Wait, we're doing what, now?"

"Now this is what I'm talking about. I think I'll go for the red. Yellow looks good on me too, but I want bolder colors." Ranma pushed a wing between several dresses hanging from a metal beam, separating one from the outfits next to them.

"Oh, definitely! A red matching to your mane will look lovely against your coat, as well!" A unicorn mare with a pair of glasses on her muzzle and a strip of measuring tape wrapped loosely around her neck paced around Ranma, looking her over while the pegasus rummaged through the dresses. "What kind of build are you looking for? Bustle?"

"Bleagh, no thanks. Give me something tighter. Needs to show off a little leg, too."

"Saucy!" the salespony giggled. "Are you trying to catch somepony's attention?"

"Yeah, kind of," Ranma chuckled. "Oh! And make sure the skirt covers my mark, okay?"

"No problem, babe," the seamstress assured her with a wink. Then her eyes briefly darted to the side, and her smile dimmed a bit.

"Uhm... Is your friend here for something too? She, uh... She hasn't moved since she entered the shop."

Indeed, Trixie was standing just inside the entrance to the store. She was staring forward, presumably at Ranma, but her expression was so utterly blank that the salespony had to consider that the other pony might have suffered some kind of aneurism.

Ranma flapped a wing in Trixie's general direction, still scrutinizing the dresses. "Yeah, she's fine. Just give me a minute to sort this out and then she'll pick something up too." She pushed her way to a shining crimson dress with a shroud curling over the bodice. "Okay, I'm liking this... is there a tail hole, or does it go under?"

"That design doesn't have a tail hole, although I often add them for customers who want them." The seamstress levitated her tape measure over Ranma's back. "The wings are also a custom alteration if you want a good fit. It's not a big deal if they're going to be folded all night, but if you actually plan on flying at all, you could tear it otherwise."

"Heh, thanks! You know your stuff!"

"It's not a problem, babe!" the mare chirped, withdrawing her tape measure. "Let me go get my things, and then we can do a fitting. I can get you a towel, too; your mane is really damp."

The salespony trotted off into the back room, leaving her two customers alone. Ranma went back to perusing the dresses, mumbling quietly to herself. Trixie seemed to snap out of her stunned state, and she approached the pigtailed mare at the dress racks.

"Why are you good at this?" Trixie asked suspiciously.

Ranma seemed surprised by the question. "What? Dressing up? Humans wear clothes all the time!" she scoffed. "Seriously, I was relieved you guys even HAVE dress shops! It's gotta be hard to make a living doing this when all your customers spend most of their time naked!"

Trixie's brow furrowed. "And in human society, males wear dresses?"

"For all you know," Ranma replied.

Trixie continued staring.

"Okay, okay, fine. No, guys don't usually wear dresses where I'm from. But I actually turn into a girl, so it's okay," Ranma explained with a roll of her eyes.

"Trixie isn't arguing that it's not okay, Trixie just finds it odd how... pleased you seem while shopping for mare's clothes," the magician said. "Putting aside that you specifically wanted to shop for clothes and attend a social function as a mare at all when you actually have a choice in the matter."

"It's all for The Plan," Ranma assured her, patting the unicorn on the shoulder. "Don't worry so much! Look around and pick out a nice dress! I'm thinking something in silver for you, and really elaborate. Maybe also a different hat? Think about it."

Trixie found she didn't feel nearly as confident putting her faith in Ranma's ideas when his reassurance wasn't accompanied by effusive praise for her. Before she could interrogate her further, however, the salespony emerged from the back room again.

"All ready for you, babe! Try it on, and then we can make the final adjustments! You're going to need those wing holes to get away from all the stallions galloping after you!" the seamstress gushed.

Ranma winked at Trixie. "Browse a bit and find something nice to wear. I've got this." Then she followed the salespony into the dressing room, leaving Trixie alone on the sales floor.

"...... Trixie is beginning to think she's made a terrible mistake."

"Yes, Trixie was correct. This is a terrible mistake."

Ranma and Trixie were seated on opposite ends of the bed in their hotel room. The dresses they had purchased for tomorrow's party were packed in a bag in the corner of the room, while their respective traveling clothes were hung up on hooks by the door.

Ranma quirked an eyebrow. "What? What's wrong with my idea? This'll be easy!"

"There are so many things wrong with it that Trixie struggles to wrap her considerable intellect around all of them," the unicorn retorted sharply. "For starters, you STILL haven't explained how you intend to physically get Trixie into the party!"

Ranma snorted. "Oh, come on. That's nothing. I don't even need to plan that part."

"This is exactly what Trixie means! Trixie does not share your baseless confidence in any of this!" the magician complained. "What makes you think it will be so easy to defeat security? What makes you think nopony will notice we don't belong there? What makes you think you - YOU, of all ponies - will be able to catch Prince Blueblood's attention? Every other crazy thing you just said depends on those things working out!"

Ranma shook her head. "Trix, you're getting caught up on the details. Calm down and leave this to me."

"How can Trixie just leave it to you?! This entire plot is absurd!"

"Is it really any sillier than your plan to have me date a rebel sorcerer and then let her lead me back to her hideout?" Ranma scoffed.

"That was different, obviously. It was Trixie's plan, and the stakes didn't allow for us to back down," the unicorn retorted. "Trixie hasn't exactly been impressed by your strategic wit so far, least of all in the social arena."

Ranma frowned, staring hard at her employer and traveling companion. Trixie stared back defiantly, daring him to argue the point.

"Trix, do you really not want to do this?" she asked with a sigh. "I'm not going to fight with you about it. If you don't want to meet Blueblood, we can find something else to do at the ball."

Trixie's eye twitched. "So we're already presuming that we're definitely going to the dance?" she asked blithely.

"Well, yeah, obviously. I mean, we bought dresses already. Come on." Ranma paused to clear her throat. "But if you're embarrassed to make a move on a Prince, I'm not going to force you. I mean, honestly, I kind of think you can do better than him anyway. But you seemed really gung-ho before we got into the dress store."

Trixie quivered slightly as she felt her ego start to inflate again, but firmly held the feeling down this time. "Trixie did get a bit excited, but is now mainly concerned with you humiliating both of us with your recklessness." Then she paused. "Trixie is also SLIGHTLY perturbed by how happy you are playing dress-up and plotting the seduction of stallions. You couldn't even complete your fake date with Song without breaking down."

"Stop making it sound weird, Trix." The pigtailed pony shifted on the bed to lie down. "So let's say you DID trust that I could get you and Prince Bluey together. Would you do it then?"

Trixie didn't answer right away, glancing around the room and shifting her legs. Normally she would have laughed and confirmed it in a moment. Of course she would claim the Prince as her own, she would say, assuring her bodyguard that Trixie's only concern was how little she faith she had in Ranma's competence, acting, and understanding of her fellow equine.

But she didn't say that.

"Trixie... hasn't thought much about it," the magician admitted. "Trixie was being serious when she said Trixie doesn't have a crush on Prince Blueblood. He is the epitome of fine, upper-class stallionhood, so in theory Trixie could settle for nothing less. But..."

Ranma arched an eyebrow when Trixie trailed off. "But what? You don't know the guy? He could be a total jerk in private? Is that the problem?"

"Trixie would be shocked - disappointed, really - if Prince Blueblood WASN'T a total snob," Trixie said, shaking her head. "It's just... Trixie never seriously considered such a thing."

"Dating a Prince?"

"Dating in general." Trixie's cheeks flushed slightly, and she pursed her lips anxiously. It felt very strange to her to be talking to another pony about this subject. "Trixie has been on the road most of her life, traveling from town to town and making her fortune in fits and starts. Trixie has had plenty of fans, obviously, and the occasional... rendezvous, when the mood strikes her..." she coughed, again avoiding eye contact with the cursed pony beside her. "... But Trixie has never had a special somepony, or even thought about having a special somepony. It's practically never occurred to Trixie."

The magician locked eyes with Ranma again. "And now suddenly we're talking about Trixie dating a PRINCE? Don't misunderstand; Trixie would love to have the sort of fame and wealth that comes from marrying into a royal family. Trixie could only dream of financing the greatest shows Equestria has ever seen and using the esteemed name of the royal family to draw crowds of the rich and famous! And, of course, it would be nice to be able to simply perform without worrying about Trixie's income."

"Wait, you'd still be doing magic shows if you became Mrs. Blueblood?" Ranma asked.

"Trixie would certainly want to, which is a problem." The blue mare sighed and tossed her head to clear her mane from her eyes. "Trixie would enjoy a life of leisure and riches, but Trixie could never be satisfied by it. Trixie's cutie mark calls her to the stage; to enthrall the masses and share her brilliance and glory with the world!" She puffed out her chest and sat taller, as if she was speaking to an audience then and there.

"This whole cutie mark thing sounds like kind of a hassle, honestly," Ranma noted. "You have to do whatever dumb thing shows up on your butt? That's no way to live."

Trixie's expression darkened. "You have one too, you know."

"Well, sure. But mine doesn't mean anything, so I can ignore it." Ranma spread a wing and then lightly slapped the eight-pointed star on her flank.

Trixie sighed, annoyed at the diversion. "Whatever. Shut up. As Trixie was saying, some ponies give up their careers for their love, but Trixie's destiny is too strong for that. Trixie finds Prince Blueblood attractive, and would obviously appreciate never having to struggle for a living ever again, but Trixie fears that to be his special somepony would see her cooped up in a tower in Canterlot like a bird in a cage." She shook her head.

"But what if you actually like him? You're not even really talking about Blueblood, just all the stuff he could do for you," Ranma pointed out.

"Trixie is not what you'd consider the romantic sort," she admitted wryly. "If Trixie wanted to settle down, she would just select a stallion and settle down. But the Great and Powerful Trixie has little time and patience for love. The idea of sneaking into a royal ball and seducing a Prince is the stuff of Trixie's stories."

"So was fighting giant monsters and vanquishing evil villains!" Ranma pointed out.

"Correct. But Trixie isn't especially pleased that you've helped her live the high drama that is part and parcel of her act." Trixie lifted up the MacGuffin Stone with her magic, spinning the gem around in the air over her upraised hoof.

Ranma shrugged her shoulders and rolled over onto her back. "Well, I didn't know all that. That's fine. We can just raid the buffet line or something."

"Trixie is still honestly perplexed that you want to go, but if you can really get us in Trixie could think of worse ways to kill an afternoon." She floated the MacGuffin Stone into a drawer next to the bed, and then closed it.

Then she turned to Ranma with a thoughtful expression. "Say... since we're on the topic of special someponies, what about you?"

Ranma's expression soured. "You had a front-row seat to my only run of horse romance. Bleagh. If I never see Swan Song again, it will be too soon."

"As entertaining as that whole fiasco was, Trixie didn't mean that," Trixie clarified. "Back on your home planet, when you were a human. Do you have a special... uh... somehuman?"

Ranma's expression did not improve. "Yeah. Kind of. I'm engaged."

"Engaged to be married?" Trixie asked, the surprise evident in her voice. "Interesting! Who is the lucky female primate?"

Ranma didn't answer right away. "...... There are a few of them, actually. I was engaged to three girls."

"Oh-HO! You stud, you!" Trixie smirked down at the martial artist. "And here Trixie thought you were a virgin!"

"I am," Ranma said evenly. "I never fooled around with any of them."

Trixie's smirk weakened. "Huh. Still, it must have been nice having your own little herd."

"No, it wasn't."

Trixie's smirk vanished entirely. Another awkward silence ensued. Ranma rolled onto her side, facing away from Trixie.

"... Trixie suspects that your suddenly dour mood doesn't stem from the reminder of being cruelly separated from your distant suitors," Trixie mumbled. "You don't miss them?"

"Well, I... I guess. I miss things ABOUT them, at least," Ranma hedged. "For example, it was a lot easier to get a free meal from them than from you. And it's not like I prefer being chased by local police and soldiers rather than girls."

"That's about as close to true love as Trixie expected from you, honestly."

"It's complicated, all right? Let's just turn in," Ranma grumbled.

The martial artist felt the bed shift under her, and then a furry body dropped onto her side. Trixie was now lying on top of the martial artist, shifting about to use the pegasus as a pony pillow.

"Trixie is deeply interested in your circumstances, but Trixie will let it go for now, out of respect for your feelings," the magician announced while she got comfortable.

"Respect my feelings? There's a first," Ranma grumbled.

"Hush, Calamity. Go to sleep. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow, and as usual you just might get us both killed." She pulled the covers over the both of them with a magical tug. "Good night."

Much of the next day passed in an unmemorable blur.

Ranma had eaten and left early. He didn't say why. He had taken his cloak with him, though, so Trixie was fairly certain the stallion would make an effort to be inconspicuous rather than wrecking anything under the guise of "Havoc." It was literally the least he could do to keep the local authorities from chasing them out of town.

Trixie didn't feel like studying stolen notes or practicing her magic tricks, so she had busied herself with reading the recent newspaper articles. There were a few interesting stories regarding the mayor, but Trixie's main interest were the stories about Twilight Sparkle and the rebellion. Naturally, those stories were also about Ranma, and by extension also about her.

Not that anypony could tell from the articles. The stories contained a surprising level of detail and (mostly inaccurate) speculation about the exploits of "Havoc," Blood Rite, and Swan Song, but they offered nothing but a few obtuse references to Ranma's companion. In most cases where it was noted that "Havoc" traveled with a unicorn mare, the stories confused Trixie for Swan Song. Trixie found it annoying, but she could only get so upset about the lack of attention; surely if she were to be correctly identified and associated with Havoc and the sorcerers she'd be branded as a rebel too. Considering her own fortune relied upon her notoriety, Trixie was sure she was better off being left out of the accounts of Havoc's travels.

Putting aside Trixie's impressively consistent omission, the articles were mostly breathless and hysterical accounts of the trail of destruction Ranma left behind him while Trixie tried to find a good place to host a magic show. Every story seemed to include pictures of scorched ruins or brutalized guards, even when Ranma wasn't directly responsible for the damage. Witness accounts made Havoc out to be a relentless, merciless monster that tore through pony warriors like they were wrapping paper and exploded frequently for no apparent reason. While the latter observation was basically correct, it was hard to square Ranma's reputation for relentless murder with the many accounts of all the not-dead guards that had been left in his path.

The most frustrating thing of all, of course, was the persisting rumor that Havoc had been the one to attack Princess Luna rather than Blood Rite and Swan Song. Granted, Luna apparently thought Ranma and Havoc were different ponies for some reason, so Trixie could understand why she wouldn't particularly care about some rebel scoundrel taking the fall alongside his master. But a more thoughtful Princess might have issued a public correction just for the sake of accuracy, or to spare the ludicrous and rapidly increasing bounty on said criminal's head. One might even consider it prudent for the sole reason that Luna knew somepony who ostensibly looked just like Havoc, but was innocent of fomenting rebellion and anarchy. Alas, no; speculation and rumors ran wild instead, telling tall tales of Havoc and Calamity (sometimes at the same time, which was obviously impossible) thrashing the Princess of the Moon in deadly combat for the sake of bloody revolution.

"Trixie should make a scrapbook," the magician mumbled to herself while several clippings floated around her head. "When Trixie finally writes her memoirs it would be nice to have this readily available to reference when the world started going completely insane around her."

She started piling the newspaper cutouts together, pushing the rest of the papers aside. Then a knock came on the door.

Trixie hopped off the bed and unlocked the door with her magic as she approached. "Good, Trixie's glad you're back. We need to-"

The door flew open, nearly striking Trixie in the muzzle. She recoiled in an instant, and her hat briefly fell over her eyes while she stumbled backward. Hooves pounded across the floor, and then the mare was shoved roughly into the side of the bed.

Trixie's hat fell off in the interim, and as she lay pinned against the bed frame she got her first look at her assailant. A thick-legged pegasus stallion, muscular and hard-bitten with a light blue coat. His wings were spread, ready to lift him off at a moment's notice, and a long dagger was clenched in his teeth and aimed firmly at Trixie's neck.

Behind the stallion, an earth pony mare with dark pink fur and a sword strapped to her flank trotted into the room and kicked the door closed behind her.

"What the hay is this?!" Trixie sputtered, trembling in a perfect mix of terror and rage.

The pegasus squinted his eyes at the unicorn, and then glanced at the other mare in askance.

She clicked her tongue as she looked over the room. "Tch! Looks like we might have a false lead. I don't see our bounty."

Trixie's eyebrow twitched. "MORE bounty hunters? Why do you clods always attack first and identify your target later?"

The other mare halted, regarding Trixie with an arched brow. "More, you say? You run into a lot of hired justice, filly?"

"'Hired justice?' Is that seriously what you thugs call yourself?" Trixie fumed. "You have an innocent mare held at sword point in her own hotel room, and you have the NERVE to associate yourself with justice?! Apologize to Trixie at once!"

The two bounty hunters shared an incredulous look, rather surprised at how agitated the mare was. This wasn't the first time they had jumped an innocent pony, and most of them tended to be more cooperative with a dagger so close to their throat.

"Okay, okay, let's just calm down here," the mare said, wagging a hoof in the air. "We came here on a tip, but it was pretty vague. Wouldn't surprise me at all if it was wrong." Then she smirked. "But of course, we'll have to check the room, you see. It would be pretty boneheaded to leave when our guy could just be under the bed or in the closet or something."

Trixie seemed to calm down considerably. Her trembling ceased, her muscles relaxed, and she glared coldly at the other mare. "It was boneheaded of you to assault the Great and Powerful Trixie, no matter who may be hiding here. Apologize and leave at once, or you'll regret it."

The earth pony furrowed her brow. "Are you seriously threatening me, filly? In your position?"

"That didn't sound like an apology to me," said a voice from behind the bounty hunters.

"Correct," Trixie agreed. "Do what you must."

The mercenary mare reacted immediately to the voice behind her, wasting no time to contemplate how somepony had gotten behind her when she'd closed the door. She kicked out instantly, but her hooves cut through empty air.

Ranma had already dodged away, moving alongside the flank that held the intruder's sword. She swiped at the weapon, striking its crossbar and launching it straight out of its sheath into the stallion pinning Trixie.

With an audible crack, the pommel slammed into the earth pony's jaw. He recoiled, shouting in pain, while his blade tumbled onto the floor at Trixie's hooves.

The magician wasted no time. As soon as she was free she picked up the dagger with her levitation magic and plunged it into the stallion's leg. He yelped again, only to have Trixie's hat fly into his face and block his view.

"You cad!" the female bounty hunter jumped away from Ranma, trying to get some space to draw her back-up weapon. Ranma kept pace easily, matching her speed and predicting her movements. One jab into the mare's cheek staggered her, and then Ranma spun around and bucked the bounty hunter into the wall.

She cried out at the impact, barely able to keep herself from collapsing onto the floor. "You... You're... Calamity!" she gasped, her legs trembling. "What are you doing here, you crook?!"

Ranma groaned. "Oh, whatever. You don't get to act scared and angry at me after busting into some innocent mare's hotel room and shoving a knife in her face."

An agonized wail followed his statement, and Ranma turned her head around. Trixie was on top of the other bounty hunter, who was bleeding from his foreleg and had his face covered by Trixie's hat and magical aura. She stomped on the stallion relentlessly, growling pony profanities while she hammered him underhoof.

"... Well, okay, maybe 'innocent' is a bit too much. But still, you didn't come here for Trix, so don't bother Trix," Ranma insisted as she turned back to her opponent.

The bounty hunter leapt forward, teeth clenched against the pain in her legs. Attached to one forehoof was a thin, curved blade, like a hawk's talon, and it stabbed for Ranma's chest in a desperate last-ditch attack.

Ranma leaned out of the way, bit onto her leg, and then slugged the mare back into the wall. The bounty hunter collapsed in a daze, her eyes spinning in her skull.

"Ow! Ow! Quit it! I give up, already!" the male hunter cried while Trixie pummeled him. His forelegs were shielding his face from the unicorn's hooves while one wing stood straight up in an attempt to surrender.

Trixie raised a foreleg again, her breath heaving. "Apologize for what you did!"

"I'm sorry! Seriously! We didn't know you only had the small bounty with you! We're after that Havoc guy! Please let me go!" the stallion begged.

Trixie clicked her tongue and turned away. "Tch! What a waste of time. Get out of Trixie's room, and take your idiot partner with you!"

Trixie barely took one hoofstep away when the pegasus snapped his wing to the side to draw a hidden blade. She didn't even realize what was wrong, in fact, until a gray and red streak brushed past her.

Ranma struck the stallion like a lightning bolt, sending him spinning across the room. The bounty hunter hit the wall next to the closet, and his hidden knife bounced onto the floor at Trixie's hooves before he slumped into an unconscious heap.

Trixie looked down at the weapon, and then back at the pegasus comatose on the floor. "For a bunch that calls themselves 'hired justice,' they don't act much different from the hired criminals," she sniffed, kicking away the blade. "Put the mare next to the other idiot."

Ranma did so, and Trixie levitated some rope from the bounty hunters' equipment and started binding the two intruders. "It seems we'll be checking out today, since there are bounty hunters moving in on us already. We'll leave these two for the maids to clean up."

"That works. I think the party is already starting at the mayor's place," Ranma said, glancing toward the restroom. "I just need a few minutes to get ready. You have a makeup kit?"

Trixie turned to the martial artist with an expression halfway between incredulous and resigned. "We have bounty hunters breaking down our door to get us, and you STILL want to go goof off with the snobs?"

"Sure! I spent all morning checking the place out. Security's real tight, so there's no way they'll get past the guards to bug us," Ranma reasoned.

"But we will?"

Ranma nodded, a smirk plastered on her face.

Trixie sighed, and then started magically rummaging through her bags. "Fine. Trixie has already neglected her better judgment so far. What's one or two more disasters?" She levitated a small wooden box over to Ranma. "Here's Trixie's stage kit. Let Trixie explain the different kinds of makeup and how to use them, and then..."

She trailed off when Ranma snickered. The redhead stepped up to Trixie and patted a hoof against her cheek.

"You're adorable, Trix." Without any further explanation, Ranma took the box in her mouth and trotted into the bathroom. The door clicked shut behind her.

Trixie stared at the restroom door, utterly perplexed.

A loud creak came from behind the door.

Then a banging noise. Followed by several more banging noises and a sound like cracking tile.

Trixie grew progressively more alarmed as the noise from within the hotel restroom grew in volume and variety. Splashing, grinding, and a curiously rhythmic hammering all competed in her imagination while she tried to imagine what kind of catastrophe was happening on the other side of the entrance.

"Ranma? Are you okay?" Trixie asked, placing a hoof against the door. Her tone of voice wavered, as if she was trying to ask sarcastically but was inhibited by actual concern.

"Yeah! It's a little tough to do all this stuff without hands!" Ranma called back. A thumping noise came from within, followed by an alarmingly loud crash.

"Trixie was offering to help you!" the magician huffed.

"Don't worry! I've got this!" Ranma assured her as the bedlam's violent pitch rose even further.

Then, suddenly, the noise stopped. Trixie backed up from the door, unsure as to what kind of devastation she should expect on the other side. The door opened.

"All done! You can go ahead, Trix," chirped a mysterious pegasus that Trixie had never seen before.

A long, rich mane flowed over one side of the mare, hanging past one wing in large, bouncing curls that never quite touched the floor. The bright red hair was the color of blood, but shined with a finish like polished copper. The pony's fur, normally a plain, ash-like gray, was dusted at the tips with ivory to make it look several shades lighter. The mare's face was a picture of perfection, complete with eyeliner, blush, and ruby-red lipstick stretched over a calm smile. Her wings were threaded with black silk ribbons, and her tail was arched such that it resembled a bouncing red curtain before her rear, again nearly - but not quite - dragging along the floor. That was all on top of the dress, of course.

The pegasus noticed her slack-jawed staring and smirked, pausing in the middle of the room. "You like? I told you I knew what I was doing."

Trixie recoiled suddenly, snapping out of her trance. "R-Ranma? Is that... Is that YOU?"

Ranma laughed, stepping to the side and then turning in a circle. Her mane and tail flowed behind her in an elegant crimson circle with the motion. "Surprised, huh? I knew the dress was a good pick!"

The dress absolutely was, although Trixie wasn't focused on that. She slowly turned to look into the bathroom.

It was in surprisingly good shape. There were a few small puddles of water on the floor, and a few hoofprints hammered into the tile walls here and there, but the damage seemed entirely out of proportion to the noise she had heard. More importantly, there didn't seem to be a tomboy of a pegasus hiding out anywhere inside while somehow generating an illusory image of a veritable equine goddess. Trixie would have been far less shocked if this was the result of some incomprehensible alien witchcraft dressed up as "martial arts." But alas, the gorgeous redheaded mare in the middle of the hotel room was in fact Trixie's bodyguard, Ranma Saotome.

Trixie looked toward Ranma again, her expression deeply suspicious again. "WHY are you good at this?!"

"I have other talents besides just hitting people," Ranma chuckled, spreading a wing. "Besides, if I'm going to be a chick, I at least want to be a hot one, you know?"

"Trixie would have guessed you'd want the exact opposite, actually," the unicorn admitted.

Ranma trotted up to the bed and the pair of bounty hunters that laid next to it. "I'm going to search these guys for valuables and then head out to get us in. You go ahead and get ready. Just wait for me at the front entrance to the Mayor's house and I'll meet you there."

"This is so weird," Trixie mumbled, levitating her dress ahead of her. It was a light, silvery gown that she picked out for the sake of being flashy and eye-catching while still hugging her body in a way that the stallions would surely appreciate. Now it seemed almost reserved. It was more than a little galling. She took a deep breath and closed the door behind her.

Ranma hummed lightly to herself as she trotted down the streets. Her head was held high and her wings were partially spread, as if she was preparing to take off at a moment's notice. It was an extension of her martial arts training - or retraining, as it were - to be ready to vault into the air at a moment's notice. It also had the effect of making the pegasus look like she was posing for a painting. Combined with the dress, she was turning the head of nearly every pony in the streets, and few of the stallions tripped or ran into mail boxes while their eyes were locked on her.

As amusing as it was, however, the cursed equine wasn't here to get attention. Not yet, at any rate. Ranma turned sharply into an alley, slipping into the shadows between two multi-story apartments. Creeping close to the wall, yet being mindful of her dress, she moved to the opposite end of the alley and peeked over a dumpster.

The Mayor's house lay across the street immediately outside the alley, surrounded by a high wall. The wall itself was some ten feet high and easily scalable, with webs of ivy clinging to the side and the occasional tree adjacent. She could see large balloons and thin streams of smoke over the top of it, and violin music was barely audible coming from the other side.

Of course, given that a third of all ponies could fly, including Ranma's current body, the wall was entirely inadequate as a barrier on its own. A ring of armored pegasi flew lazy circuits around the backyard of the residence, constantly scanning the surrounding streets for any sign of suspicious activity. Ranma had already confirmed that morning that the unicorns and earth ponies were all standing guard around the house itself, in the front. This area had the fewest number of eyes watching, but there were still too many for her to get through easily without being spotted.

Ranma searched the ground next to the dumpster, and then spotted a glass bottle on the ground next to it. Biting onto the bottle's neck, and silently ruing the fact that she still hadn't mastered holding things with hooves, the martial artist took aim at a pair of pegasi soldiers flying high over the alley. She snapped her head to the side and let go of the makeshift projectile.

She was rewarded with a direct hit on one of the soldiers, striking him in the side of the head. The pegasus wobbled unsteadily from the blow, and his helmet was knocked off and plummeted to the ground.

"Ow! What the hay?!"

"Did somepony just throw garbage at you? Where did that come from?"

The pegasi turned in the air, and they managed to catch a glimpse of bright red vanishing into the shadows of an alley. Grimacing, they flew over the street and swooped in.

"Who the hay throws trash at ponies? Stupid vagrants..."

"Probably just some colt trying to stir up trouble," mumbled the other one, dropping down a little lower to look behind the dumpster. "Let's stick to our patrol. This isn't-"

His partner let out a yelp as a red blur dropped on top of him out of the air, striking him in his unprotected head. A mid-air kick sent the pegasus guard flailing into an apartment wall, and he bounced off and dropped into the dumpster.

Ranma flipped away from the kick, and then dove right on top of the other guard, landing on his back. The stallion started shouting and flapping his wings desperately, but nonetheless hit the ground before he could steady himself.

"Shhhhhh..." Ranma wrapped her forelegs around the other pony's neck, strategically applying pressure. The guard's panicked cries trailed off into wheezing as his air supply was cut off. "Nothing personal, pal. I just need you to take a nap for me."

After a few more seconds, the guard's wings stopped flapping frantically and his struggles ceased. Ranma let go of the other pegasus and stood up from his unconscious body. A toss of her hoof sent the second guard into the dumpster next to his partner, both of them out of sight.

"All clear," she mumbled, taking a moment to smooth out her dress and shake out her mane. Then she poked her head out and looked back and forth down the street.

Seeing that the only ponies around were scattered pedestrians who weren't paying attention, she bolted toward the wall. In a blur of crimson, Ranma leapt up over it and landed in a tree that hung over the barrier. Her landing barely disturbed the tree's branches, and she paused for a moment to listen for any shouts of surprise or calls for security.

Instead, the only sounds to reach her were the soft cacophony of numerous conversations from the yard below, along with the violin music playing from a stage in the corner.

"I'm in."

Ranma dropped down from her tree and quickly brushed herself off with her wings. "Heh. That was easy. I can't believe Trix seriously thought we couldn't get in. Heck, I'll bet she could bluff her way through the front gate without me." She shook her head, smirking.

She still wasn't sure why Trixie had been so shocked at the idea of infiltrating the ball. While Ranma generally considered herself a law-abiding person, she didn't see anything wrong with a crime so petty as slipping into a party uninvited. There must have been a hundred guests here; what was two more? A free dinner was the least she and Trixie deserved after helping save Equestria with just about zero recognition, as far as Ranma was concerned.

As the redhead made her way through the yard, her eyes inevitably strayed toward the buffet table. While she'd never completely get used to a vegetarian diet, the arrangements of fruits, pastries, and roasted vegetable platters on display almost had her salivating. It was quite a departure from the bulk grain and cheap roots that he and Trixie ate out on the road.

The scent of cooked herbs reached her nostrils, and her stomach growled loudly enough for a pair of stallions nearby to be startled out of their conversation. Initially ready to glare and admonish such a breach of decorum, the well-heeled ponies remained silent once they got an eyeful of the feathered beauty trotting past. One of them released a low whistle, and then paused to adjust his monocle.

Ranma's ear twitched, and she stopped in her tracks. With a tilt of her head, she gave the stallion who whistled a sidelong glance, and he broke out into a nervous sweat. Then she turned and walked toward him. The dapper pony was fully expecting to be subjected to a cutting insult or withering glare, but the redheaded beauty regarded him with a syrupy smile instead.

"Excuse me, but do you think you can help me out?" the pegasus asked with a flutter of eyelashes. "This party is for the Mayor, right? I'm new in town, and came in with a friend. Which pony is the Mayor?"

The stallion cleared his throat and took a moment to adjust his bow tie. "Ah, I see! Old Robber Baron is right over there, speaking to Prince Blueblood!" He pointed a hoof across the yard to a gazebo next to the musician's stage.

Ranma looked over the pair, recognizing the blond unicorn Prince immediately. The pony he was talking to was a tan earth pony with a thick, black mustache and top hat.

"I see him. 'Robber Baron,' huh?" She giggled briefly. "So what's his name?"

"That is his name," the stallion replied, looking slightly confused, "Mayor Robber Baron."

"He prefers to go by Mayor Baron," the other stallion clarified, "for obvious reasons."

Ranma fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Right, I'll keep that in mind... thanks!" She winked and stepped past the stallion, brushing her wing along his side and ruffling his suit jacket. He flushed and started stuttering, but Ranma sped up and rapidly moved out of earshot before he could say anything else.

"What the hay is Trixie even doing here?"

Trixie trudged down the street, her gait and pace more appropriate for a pony headed to a dungeon than a fancy party. She looked resplendent in her silvery ball gown, although she didn't stand out quite as much as she had expected. Numerous other ponies around her were also headed to the Mayor's house, all of them dressed in their finest, most decadent attire.

If asked, Trixie would happily compare herself favorably to any one of them, but seeing a crowd of such ponies trotting past just reminded the magician that she hadn't actually been invited to the event she was headed to. She didn't know any of the ponies that she would presumably be mingling with. She didn't possess their status. She wasn't one of them. Why, if she'd tried to enter the party honestly, she'd be tossed out as a vagrant or fraudster! Which weren't completely inaccurate labels, but still.

Bounty hunters were literally beating Trixie's door down half an hour ago and Ranma wants to sneak into the single largest concentration of guards in the entire city just so he can raid the buffet line, Trixie thought, her ears folding down against her head. Is he TRYING to get Trixie run out of literally every town we visit? Because his record speaks for itself.

Down the street lay the Mayor's house, surrounded by a ring of Royal Guards. The earth ponies formed a wall of equine muscle and glittering steel, while a small squad of unicorns cleared people through the blockade after checking their invitations.

The logical thing would be to turn back, obviously. Maybe even pick up her cart and leave town while Ranma stalked about. It was hardly the first time she'd made this mental calculation and reached that same conclusion. But in the end her choice was always the same.

Trixie stepped into line.

Barely two minutes passed while Trixie waited, her eyes darting from one polished steel spear to another. Each time the pony ahead of her stepped forward she felt her stomach flip, knowing she was one step closer to the front. Her normal showmare's wit, which she had used to push frankly ridiculous lies to perfectly competent guards in the past, was drawing a complete blank. Out of all the plans, strategies, and clever sleights Trixie came up with working with Ranma Saotome, she'd never faced a challenge as harrowing as blindly trusting that he knew what he was doing.

The pony ahead of her trotted forward. Trixie, with her head down, started to follow, but nearly ran into a halberd falling in front of her muzzle.

"Just a moment, please," said a gruff voice on her right. "May I see your invitation, Miss?"

Trixie swallowed, raising her gaze to the armored unicorn. A second passed, and then another. The guard's eyebrow slowly lifted, and his expression changed into an impatient frown.

"Trix! You made it!"

It was difficult to describe the heady mix of emotions that filled Trixie's thoughts as Ranma trotted happily up to the checkpoint. Relief, certainly, and a small amount of surprise that the martial artist really had managed to get into the party without creating any apparent ruckus, all with a mild undercurrent of resentment that she had been left in panicked suspense up until then. The unicorn guard was still frowning at the magician, but his expression swiftly blanked once he glanced over at the mare approaching from the front entrance.

Ranma grinned, waving a wing at her traveling companion. "Glad you could make it! The food looks AMAZING! C'mon in!"

The guard stared at Ranma appreciatively for a few seconds, and then glanced back at Trixie. "Uhm, is she... with you, Miss?"

"Yeah. You can let her through," the pegasus said, her grin shrinking to a satisfied smirk.

The other stallions seemed all too happy to comply, and they smiled broadly at the redheaded mare. The halberd that had blocked Trixie's path swung upward, and the unicorn levitating it offered her a bashful, goofy grin.

The unicorn guard accepting the invitations hesitated, his eyes wandering over Ranma's body longer than was strictly professional. "May I see your invitation? I, uh... I don't mean to be difficult, Miss... but I don't recall seeing you come in." He pursed his lips, clearly unhappy about this fact. "I feel like I would have remembered you."

Trixie fully expected Ranma's ruse to fall apart at this point, and was already preparing her smoke bomb spell when the martial artist chuckled.

"I'll bet you say that to all the mares," she taunted, turning and flicking her other wing at the stallion. "Here you go, big guy." An invitation - tucked firmly under her feathers before now - was released to the air, and the guard eagerly caught it in the grip of his magical aura.

His pleased expression turned to confusion, and he squinted at the paper. "Your name is... Frederick Goldwhinny?"

"Sure. Why not." Ranma turned away, winking to Trixie. "Coming, dear?"

And with that, Trixie was inside.

The unicorn didn't dare speak a word until they had passed through the front door and finally escaped the leering gazes of a dozen stallions fixated on Ranma's flank.

"Trixie isn't going to ask how you got in here and got somepony else's invitation," the magician whispered once she was sure they were out of sight of anypony with weapons, "but Trixie wants to know how many ponies got injured in the process."

"No one got 'injured' Trix," Ranma scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Trixie narrowed her eyes. Ranma tried to pretend she wasn't doing that. This standoff lasted a good four seconds before the pegasus backed down.

"Okay, fine, so one pony took a good blow to the head. Light concussion at WORST," she admitted. "Another guard I got in a sleeper hold. Barely a scratch on him, I swear."

"That's it?" Trixie pressed.

"That's it. I swiped the invitation without hurting anybody. Promise." She swept a wing to her chest and nodded solemnly.

Trixie turned away, her gait visibly relaxing. "Trixie has to admit, she's impressed. Everything is going perfectly and it's just so... subtle and non-destructive. At least, by your standards. Trixie doesn't think it's okay to hurt a Royal Guard just so we can sneak into a party, but still."

"Trust me, when you get a load of the spread you'll agree it was worth it!" Ranma assured her, licking her lips.

The pegasus was quite gratified that this actually got a laugh out of the entertainer. "Trixie's quite sure. What's a few torn feathers when there's cake on offer? Ha!"

"By my Aunt, this is DULL."

Coming from most ponies, the whinging disparagement would have been met with a scornful frown or a condescending roll of the eyes. The tiresome complaints of the noble class, bemoaning the banality of constant luxury and freedom from anything resembling hardship, were hard to take seriously even from their peers. Most considered it a matter of basic grace and dignity to at least suffer the trials of jaded boredom without complaint, if for no other reason than a sneaking suspicion that there were much worse problems for a pony to have.

Alas, Prince Blueblood was not most ponies. Mayor Robber Baron winced while the blond stallion drained a goblet of wine with reckless speed, and he considered his next words carefully.

"If you'd rather retire to your estate, Prince, you needn't stay long. I'd just like you to meet each of the ponies I recommend to succeed me as Mayor, and then you can be on your way."

"UGH," the Prince groaned, eliciting an annoyed twitch from the Mayor. "How many more of the sycophants are there?"

"Ah... you've met with two of seven, Prince."

"UGH," Blueblood repeated, magically launching his goblet over the railing of the gazebo and into the bushes. "Bring me some more wine, and then some more of the hoof-lickers. Preferably in that order."

Once again, Mayor Baron restrained a frustrated groan at Blueblood's behavior. Turning to a nearby mareservant, he whispered in her ear for a few seconds. She gave a calm nod and walked off into the loose crowd of guests.

"Honestly though, I'm not especially looking forward to visiting my estate, either," Blueblood confessed with an aggravated snort. "Nothing much to occupy my time there. I thought maybe some rural scenery would be a pleasant change from the gilded extravagance of Canterlot." He sneered. "I was quite mistaken."

Mayor Baron continued to bite his tongue. Nopony considered Fillydelphia "rural," even compared to a vast urban sprawl like Manehattan or the majestic, if cramped, castles of Canterlot. "Pardon my impertinence, Prince, but is something the matter? You've been..." he chose his next words carefully, "unusually agitated since you arrived."

"Oh? Does it show?" The Prince's voice was rich with sarcasm, causing the Mayor to wince again. The mareservant returned swiftly with a pair of wine goblets balancing on a platter on her back, and as soon as they came within range Blueblood took them - both of them - into the grip of his telekinesis.

"I suppose I should apologize for my unseemly humor," Blueblood groused even as he levitated the wine onto the railing next to him. "Canterlot has been positively intolerable as of late."

"I... see, Prince..." Robber Baron wet his lips briefly. "Is there a particular reason why-"

"TREASON, Mayor. Treason, rebellion, anarchy, and all manner of chaos are wreaking Equestria asunder!" Blueblood declared. Then he paused to take a sip of wine, smacking his lips. "Or at least, that's the impression one would get from spending last week in the castle. All of pony society is in an absolute tizzy over this nonsense revolution."

"Nonsense revolution, Prince?"

"Indeed, for it's both!" Blueblood confirmed. "A revolution orchestrated so incompetently that it turned a grand total of three - at MOST four - ponies against the royal order and was apparently quashed during Princess Sparkle's escape attempt. The rebellion was so magnificently inept that it was undone by its one and only victory." He took another sip of wine. "Yet you'd think they've seized half the countryside to speak to any of the ninnies in the Senate! Everywhere I go, every conversation I dare partake, it's Havoc this, sorcerers that, everypony flee, for our guardians have failed and the sky is falling!"

He tilted the goblet into his gullet, gulping down far more of his drink than was advisable. "Pwah! The rumors are the worst of it. Half the imbeciles in Canterlot think General Firebrand is dead and his fate being covered up. The other half seem to think this is some sort of secret coup by Princess Luna, mostly based on the confusion over which of the rebels assaulted her and when. It's all quite ridiculous, and I'm perfectly tired of it all!"

The Prince finished off the first goblet, and then started scanning the other party guests, still fuming silently. The Mayor considered himself quite grateful for his sudden silence, and quietly beckoned an older earth pony mare over to the gazebo.

"Ah, Sundew Chimes! Over here!" he called, deliberately speaking in the Prince's direction more than the mare's. "I want you to meet someone! I believe you may have heard of him!"

The mare was yet another candidate to succeed him as Mayor, and Robber Baron at least was intent on getting on with the political aspect of the ball. While the Mayor chuckled at his own feeble joke, Sundew trotted up to the gazebo and tilted her head respectfully. Prince Blueblood didn't turn to look at her, his gaze fixed on something in the crowd of guests.

"It's an honor to meet you, Prince Bl-"

"I have one question for you, milady, and if you cannot answer me then I would thank you for wasting no more of my time," Blueblood interrupted. His wine goblet hovered next to him in the grip of his magic, rolling about such that the beverage within swirled within the cup.

Sundew Chimes blinked in surprise, but quickly steeled herself. "Of course, my Prince. What is it you wish to know?" She assumed that the Prince would ask a single important or deceptive political question, or perhaps ask about some esoteric nuance of bureaucracy.

"Tell me: who is that luscious, fiery-maned pegasus?" Prince Blueblood demanded, utterly crushing her expectations.

Both of the other politicians gaped briefly before trying to pick out the pony the Prince had spotted. It wasn't hard. Even among the crowd of dazzling colors and elaborate dresses, the blazing crimson of the mare's hair and outfit stood out with ease. Robber Baron could immediately appreciate the Prince's interest, despite the fact that there were more important affairs to see to. Sundew was more interested in the way that the pegasus was ravenously destroying the buffet line.

"What is she DOING? She's not even using a plate!" the mare gasped, scandalized. "Who gobbles up their food right there at the serving table?!"

"Yes, that's my question," Blueblood said evenly. "WHO?"

"I have no idea who that is," Sundew sniffed. "I wouldn't-"

"You may go now," Prince Blueblood interrupted, no longer interested in hearing her speak. "Mayor, do you know that mare?"

Robber Baron gave Sundew a chastened grimace as she quivered in anger. Then the mare departed, turning sharply away and trotting back toward the house. The Mayor felt for her but could do nothing; he couldn't force Blueblood to care about the mayorship any more than he could force his candidates to care about the Prince's irritations back home.

"No, Prince, I don't," Mayor Baron sighed. "I'm sure I'd recall her if I'd seen her before. Even if she hadn't been wearing such an... enticing outfit at the time." His moustache wiggled from side to side. "Now then-"

"If you don't know her, why is she here?" Blueblood interrupted again.

"I don't know every pony that could get into the ball," Robber Baron admitted. "Some of the guests I barely know and only invited out of courtesy. And everypony invited was allowed to bring a guest or two themselves. At a glance, I'd say I couldn't name some tenth of the ponies in the yard right now."

"I see." Blueblood took another gulp a wine, and then sighed happily before setting it on the gazebo railing. "Well then, since you've failed to give such an exquisite citizen sufficient attention, it seems it falls to me." A flash came from his horn, briefly sweeping his magical aura through his mane.

Robber Baron recoiled. "But Prince Blueblood, we still need to-"

"Say no more, Mayor," Blueblood warned as left the gazebo. "I think I'll take you up on your offer to retire early for today. I think I just found something to do at my estate..."

"Thish wash shuch a gooh ideh!" Ranma said around a mouthful of stuffed bell peppers, nearly drooling bits of food onto the edge of the buffet table. With a hefty gulp she swallowed the mass of garlic-roasted veggies, and then bit into a loaf of bread that was sticking out of a basket in the middle of the table.

"Ranma, would you slow the hay down?" Trixie hissed. "Ponies are STARING."

She herself was picking out items with her telekinesis and moving them onto her plate like any decent, civilized pony would. But Ranma wasn't really any of those things, and she seemed to be eager to prove it. The pegasus shifted from one dish to the next, shoving items directly into her mouth. Sometimes she'd slap a hoof against the end of a plate or a serving spoon, sending food arcing up into the air and snapping it up in her jaws on the way down. It was an impressive display, Trixie had to admit, both as a measure of sheer agility and gastronomic capacity. But Ranma had been attracting enough questionable attention even before she'd started devastating the buffet line.

The redheaded pegasus tilted her head up toward the sky with the loaf of bread still in her jaws, and then it rapidly sunk down into her gullet in a series of scarfing noises. A few gasps came from behind the martial artist, but if she noticed she certainly didn't seem to care. Trixie sighed and kept serving herself.

Ranma scanned the tables for her next target even while she licked crumbs from her lips. There was sushi on the far end of the table, and lasagna on the other. While both dishes were presumably vegetarian, and thus a far cry from the meaty human delicacies they mimicked, she'd been quite impressed by the pony cooking on display here.

As she hesitated in indecision, a stray thought wormed its way into her head. Why would aliens have Earth food, anyway? It was a continual oddity that so many things in Equestria perfectly paralleled human civilization, even when it didn't make sense, while other things were different enough to justify his theory that he was on a completely alien world.

They have pasta. They have sushi. Even the food made out of hay is cooked so that it's like other, better food! How did hayburgers even happen if ponies don't eat beef? She turned her gaze to the dessert table. It's the same over here. They have cake. They have pastries. They have chocolate-dipped strawberries.

And then, just like that, her train of thought instantly jumped tracks.

"THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE-DIPPED STRAWBERRIES." Ranma moved liked a pouncing tiger, dashing around and over numerous ponies that were obliviously standing between her and the dessert table. Those ponies recoiled or stumbled in confusion, having little idea what just happened aside from feeling a sudden wind and seeing a crimson blur.

Ranma screeched to a halt before the dessert table, her eyes sparkling in joy and wonder. A large, multi-tiered tower cake stood in the center, with a variety of lesser desserts clustered around it in groups. The martial artist loomed over a plate of chocolate-covered fruits, holding back only enough to keep herself from drooling on the table.

Her head darted forward, snapping up a strawberry in an instant. The ponies watching couldn't help but note the likeness to a bird pecking at seeds.

"Mmmm! They're so good!" Ranma sighed blissfully, her wings spreading of their own volition. "I take back everything bad I ever said about Equestria. Any country that comes up with chocolate on its own can't be all bad." She snapped up another strawberry, and then another.

Then, suddenly, one of the strawberries dodged.

That a chocolate-covered berry would evade her attempts to eat it was strange enough on its own that Ranma stood stunned for several seconds, her eyes pinned on the insolent dessert. Only when it started levitating off the plate, wrapped in a shimmer of light blue, did she figure out just what was happening.

"I see Mayor Baron outdid himself this time." The strawberry floated over Ranma's head as a rich, haughty voice came from behind her. "Both in terms of the desserts and the company."

Ranma turned her head around, her face stony and inscrutable. Prince Blueblood stood behind her, smiling broadly while his eyes roamed her backside. The strawberry floated just above his nose, quivering in the air.

"My name is Prince Blueblood, my dear. But I'm sure you knew that," the stallion said, tilting his head slightly. Then he took a small bite out of the strawberry. "Mmm! Perfect! And yet, I'll bet that you're even sweeter."

He levitated the half-eaten strawberry toward Ranma, who wrinkled her snout at the fruit hovering in front of her.

"Care for a trade? My treat for your name?" Blueblood grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Pass." Ranma turned her head around. There were still other strawberries left, and she promptly snatched up one of them in her jaws.

Blueblood's smile vanished. For several seconds he watched the pegasus eat in silence, and then glanced at the partially-eaten strawberry. Then he shrugged and finished eating it before stepping up alongside the redhead.

"Perhaps I came on a little strong. Would you tell me your name, milady?" Blueblood said, managing to smile this time without leering.

Ranma hovered over a plate of cupcakes uncertainly, her eyes darting between them and a basket of cookies. "The name is Saotome Ranma," she mumbled.

"Saotome... Ranma?" Blueblood arched an eyebrow. "That's quite exotic. Where are you from?"

"I'm from Japan, on Earth." Ranma stepped to the side, putting more distance between her and the unicorn while she observed her choice of confections.

Blueblood followed her without hesitation. "How odd! I've never heard of such a place!"

"I get that a lot," the pegasus mumbled before flipping an apple tart up into the air with her hoof. She tilted her head back to snap up the treat on the way back down.

Much to her mounting frustration, the tart halted in mid-air just inches from her tongue. Blueblood's levitation magic carried the dessert back to the table, and the stallion tsked lightly.

"As impressive as they are, such crude displays are not fit for the public, Miss Saotome," Blueblood chided. "If you'd like, we could continue this conversation in a more... private setting."

"What conversation?" Ranma asked, her voice thick with irritation. "I'm eating."

"But I simply must know more about this strange place called 'Earth,' and it would be so much easier to speak in a proper sitting room. My estate is merely a quick trot up the hill," Blueblood explained, pointing a hoof off to the side. "I have caterers at my beck and call. I can have an identical selection of desserts delivered to us within the hour if you so desire." Then he paused, looking over the cursed mare's flank again. "Although I can only imagine that a pony with your figure is normally more cautious with your sweets."

Ranma finally turned toward the Prince again, her eyes narrowed to slits. "I can only imagine that a pony with your teeth is normally more cautious with annoying people who are just trying to eat."

Blueblood blinked, turning that comment over in his mind. "I'm... not sure that I follow, Miss Saotome."

Ranma moved closer, placing a hoof on Blueblood's chest while their noses were barely an inch apart. This was more or less the arrangement he had been pursuing with his flirting, but for some reason the Prince felt his heart seize up rather than beat faster like it normally did.

"Leave. Me. Alone," Ranma said slowly, her tone perfectly frigid. Blueblood could swear that even the mare's hoof felt cold against his fur, which made no sense at all without some bizarre magical effect.

The stallion was quite offended by such a flat rejection, but managed to keep his composure. Gritting his teeth, Blueblood forced a smile onto his face as he met the redhead's eyes. "You didn't say the magic word," the Prince taunted.

"Leave me alone, or else," Ranma amended. The pressure against Blueblood's chest increased just enough that it started to hurt.

The royal unicorn was stunned, and his jaw fell open at the mare's words. "Are you... Are you THREATENING me?" Blueblood demanded, his suave calm rapidly crumbling before his anger.

"Are you still bugging me?" the martial artist countered. "I'm giving you fair warning, chump. I will absolutely-"

"All right, that's enough! Break it up, you two!"

Blueblood didn't recognize the voice suddenly shouting, and as such he ignored it. Ranma's reaction could not have been more different. To his surprise, the bizarrely aggressive pegasus immediately flinched away, and her ears flipped down in embarrassment. Her resemblance to a chastened filly was so quick and contrasted so harshly with her earlier stubbornness that Blueblood almost started laughing on the spot.

"Seriously, Trixie cannot leave you alone for ONE MINUTE!" growled a blue unicorn in a lovely silver dress while she stomped up to them. "And out of all the ponies here, you pick a fight with the Prince? What the hay is wrong with you?!"

"But Trix-" Ranma began.

"Don't 'but Trix' Trixie!" the magician snapped, raising a hoof and pointing it to the side. "You don't start fights with royalty! Why is this so hard for you to understand? You're lucky we don't have guards dogpiling us agai-erm, already! Go on! Get!"

Ranma dropped her head low and scurried away, biting her lower lip. Prince Blueblood watched the pegasus leave in stunned disbelief. How had the feisty redhead who had so easily brushed him off been humiliated by a brief scolding?

He finally peeled his eyes from Ranma's rear and began scrutinizing the mare who had stepped in. The unicorn was staring after Ranma with an expression of condescending irritation, which was instantly a point in her favor as far as Blueblood was concerned. She was certainly beautiful in her own right, with a rich blue coat and long curled mane that was a mix of silvery cyan hues. She was not as alluring or her body quite as sensual as the redhead, but the Prince found himself instantly intrigued.

"Trixie is very sorry about that," the mare said, heaving a sigh. "Trixie's bodyguard is a little too comfortable with confrontation." She shook her head. "She's not a bad pony at all, but Trixie would advise trying not to get between her and her food. Trixie hopes you'll excuse this offense."

"Uhm..." was about all Blueblood could manage as she bowed her head.

"You must be very busy. Please excuse Trixie, your highness." The blue unicorn turned away.

Prince Blueblood meant to speak up and stop her, but the words just wouldn't come. He found himself strangely cowed while the mare left, suddenly second-guessing himself and wondering what he should say. It was a strange, bizarre feeling, and before he could come to grips with it the mare in the silver dress had disappeared into the crowd.

"... So... wait, was Trixie the redhead? But, I thought her name was... Or was she..." Blueblood mumbled, feeling slightly lightheaded.

"You are UNBELIEVABLE," Trixie hissed, pushing Ranma along to a fairly secluded part of the yard so she could chastise the pegasus in private. "How do you always manage to pick a fight with the most powerful and important pony around in every situation? It's uncanny!"

"It wasn't my fault! He was coming on to me!" Ranma protested.

"So reject him! But don't THREATEN him!" Trixie snapped back. "And no, they are not the same thing!"

"I was rejecting him! And I wasn't really going to hit the guy, either!" the martial artist groaned. "He's just some lazy royal brat, not a soldier! I don't pick on weaklings, Trix."

"You don't need to hit him to have every guard on the property running us down!" Trixie huffed. Then she took a deep breath, calming herself. "The important thing is that Trixie intervened before you added another royal assault and public brawl to your list of charges. This is fine. Everything has actually been going surprisingly smoothly today."

"Why are you so surprised? I told you could trust me!" Ranma said, smirking.

Trixie shot him a look. "Trixie is still skeptical you can last the entire ball without getting in trouble, but honestly you've already exceeded Trixie's expectations. Just... TRY to keep from bothering anypony important, would you?"

"Okay, okay!" Ranma held up a hoof. "I swear I'll be good, Trix. I won't let us get chased out of the city again."

"Good," Trixie said with a cautious smile.

"So I think I should probably give this back to the Prince, then." Ranma lifted her wing, and a small emblem tumbled out onto the grass.

Trixie glanced down, and her eyes went wide. The emblem was a small golden seal with Blueblood's cutie mark printed on it. "Is that the royal seal?" she mumbled to herself, her breath catching.

"Yeah, I guess." Ranma shrugged.

"YOU STOLE THE-" Trixie coughed suddenly in mid-yell, and then lowered her voice considerably. "You stole the Prince's seal? Why? Why would you do that?"

"I didn't steal it! He dropped it!" Ranma said, her eyes suddenly refusing to meet Trixie's. "I was going to give it back to him! Maybe by shoving it in his mouth to stop him from talking. Or something. I hadn't decided."

"You... He... This... rrrrrrgh!" Trixie trembled in fury for a few seconds, and then she deflated. Her ears flipped down, and her horn started to glow. "Never mind. Trixie doesn't care." She levitated the seal up next to her, and then scanned the crowd for Blueblood. "Just stay here, eat all you want, and for Celestia's sake, do NOT HIT OR ROB ANYPONY ELSE. Is Trixie clear?"

"Crystal," Ranma confirmed, bobbing her head.

The magician's gaze lingered on Ranma suspiciously for a few seconds, but she eventually turned away and trotted off. Ranma watched her go, a smirk slowly spreading across her face.

"All according to plan," she whispered, sitting back and tapping the tips of her front hooves together. "Now it's just up to the royal jackass. If he can't seal the deal with an opening this perfect, then he was never good enough for Trix anyway."

After several seconds waiting in silence, Ranma suddenly frowned. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do now, though. I guess I could spy on them and maybe try to help out, like Trix did for me and Swan, but that seems like a big hassle and I don't really want to see them getting cuddly or anything. I feel like I should just stay out of it from here."

Searching for something to do in the meantime, Ranma looked over the crowd of noble equines. Her gaze, however, eventually fell back on the buffet table, and in particular the section of it dedicated to desserts.

"...... I wonder if I can eat that whole cake."

"Ah, Prince. Back already? I take it you won't be departing early, then."

Mayor Robber Baron tried to keep his voice even, but it was hard not to let his irritation show. For Blueblood this entire event was a tiresome diversion from slightly more tiresome diversions back home. For Baron, the future of his town and his political legacy was at stake in Blueblood making in an informed decision.

The Prince clenched his jaw while he approached the gazebo, his ears pinned to the side of his head. Ordinarily he would have lashed out angrily at Baron for the unnecessary jab, but his heart just wasn't in it right now.

"... No, Mayor Baron. I suppose I won't," Blueblood said tightly, stepping up onto the platform.

"My deepest apologies, Prince," the Mayor drawled. "If you have no other pressing affairs to see to, would you care to meet the rest of the ponies I recommend to be appointed Mayor after my retirement?"

Once again, Blueblood felt his irritation start to simmer, and again it simply fizzled out to nothing. "Fine. Go ahead," he grumbled.

Baron seemed surprised by the Prince's grouchy submission, but he was all too eager to take advantage of the opening. He nodded swiftly and then trotted away.

Blueblood stared up at the gazebo ceiling with a tired sigh. He couldn't really place his sudden sense of melancholy, but it almost certainly had to do with the blue mare that may or may not have saved him from an imminent fight. Her face - lovingly preserved mid-sneer in his mind - kept returning to him, but he pushed the image out of his thoughts. He refused to spend more of his evening dwelling on the matter.

It was hardly beneath Prince Blueblood to sport an interest in a local mare encountered at a party or some royal function. On the contrary, such experiences were so common to him that he treated them as an ordinary luxury of traveling to royal functions, little different from wine or fine food. By the same token, Blueblood didn't get any more attached to a given pony than he did a particular wine bottle. This one hadn't worked out, so he moved on to the next option. Some ponies considered that scandal, but to him it was simple pragmatism.

"... I need a drink," the unicorn stallion mumbled to himself. He was thinking too much, and luckily there was ample remedy for that.

Blueblood turned around to find a mareservant.

He suddenly found himself facing the blue unicorn from before.

Trixie was caught slightly off-guard when Prince Blueblood whirled on her, looking as if he was about to shout something. She recoiled, and Blueblood stuttered incoherently for a few seconds before falling silent in confusion.

She quickly composed herself, ducking her head into a bow. "Prince Blueblood, Trixie is terribly sorry to bother you again. Clearly you've had enough drama for one day, but this matter really couldn't wait. Trixie believes you'll want this back."

At this point Blueblood noticed that Trixie's horn was glowing. His eyes bulged in surprise when his royal seal floated up into the air in front of her.

"My royal seal! What? How? When did-?" He started patting his suit jacket with a hoof, feeling for the familiar press of metal. He kept the seal in an inner pocket precisely so that it would be almost impossible to lose or pickpocket, even with magic. "How did you get that?"

"You... seem to have dropped it," Trixie said, using all of her willpower to keep from rolling her eyes at her own fib.

Blueblood thought that was quite unlikely, but it wasn't much more likely that the unicorn had managed to steal his seal and was now offering it back. After all, the only motive for that was...

"I suppose you'll be wanting a reward for returning this to me," Blueblood said, his eyes narrowing at the mare.

Trixie blinked, looking up at the other unicorn. "What? No, that's not necessary. All Trixie did was pick it up and carry it to you. Here."

To the Prince's astonishment, she levitated the seal onto the gazebo railing next to him and dropped it there. Then she bowed her head again.

"Pardon Trixie's interruption, Prince. Goodbye." She turned around.

Blueblood felt his heart start to race. The exact opposite of its reaction to the pegasus, incidentally. "Wait!"

The mare paused, glancing back at him. Her face expressed no excitement or cunning smirk at a plan come to fruition. She was confused.

"Uh... t-tell me," the Prince began, feeling suddenly lightheaded. "You... You're... Trixie?"

Trixie arched an eyebrow. "Yes."

Prince Blueblood decided that this was progress. At least her sentences made sense to him now. "You speak in the third pony?" he asked. "In casual conversation?" He idly levitated his seal off the railing and slipped it into his suit jacket, once again feeling the slight, familiar pressure against his chest fur.

Trixie frowned, turning around and placing a hoof to her chest. "Of course. The Great and Powerful Trixie finds it essential to impress her status upon ponies."

This time Blueblood arched a brow. "The... 'Great and Powerful' Trixie?"

"That is Trixie's full title, yes. Trixie is a master of the arcane arts beyond any that Equestria has ever seen! A hero of Equestria and entertainer without equal across the kingdom!" she declared brightly, physically restraining herself from rearing up and posing. Then she coughed. "... With one or two exceptions, perhaps."

Prince Blueblood stared. He had never met a pony so blatantly egomaniacal as the mare in front of him. He had an expansive web of associates and contacts, which included some of the most powerful, selfish, and self-important equines in all the world. Yet none of them measured up to the amount of self-centered egotism that Trixie had impressed upon him in one minute of introductory conversation.

He wasn't sure what to think of it. Should he be impressed? Amused? Scornful? It wasn't as if she was even making an effort to impress him in particular; she had come to return his seal, not brag about herself. Trixie explained how great she was with the same casual certainty that he would explain an obscure law or court protocol.

"Prince? Was there something else?" Trixie asked respectfully.

"Yes... Yes, I believe there is," Blueblood mumbled. He found Trixie absolutely fascinating, that much he was certain of. Even more so than her gorgeous pegasus friend. "If I could trouble you for a chat, Miss Trixie?"

At this, the mare seemed uncertain. Her eyes darted to the side, searching the crowd of guests for something. "Uh... Okay. About what, exactly?"

"Prince Blueblood!" Interrupted a stallion's voice from the side. Mayor Robber Baron was approaching quickly, with a bright yellow stallion behind him. "This is my good friend, Kahn Census! I'd like-"

"Excuse me, Mayor," Blueblood interrupted back, glaring at him, "I am quite occupied at the moment."

Robber Baron's mustache bristled. "But... before you said... Prince Blueblood, this is most unseemly! My associates are not show ponies to be shuffled in front of you when the mood strikes! This is important!"

"You forget your station, Mayor," Blueblood hissed, "I will not be talked down to while I am entertaining a guest!"

Trixie chuckled nervously, and started backing away. "Oh, no, that's all right. Trixie was just leaving-"

"Indeed. Excellent idea," Blueblood agreed. "What say we retire to my estate, Miss Trixie? It's just up the hill, and I think you'll find the atmosphere far less hostile." He shot a dirty look toward the Mayor with that last word, causing the earth pony to sputter indignantly.

"That sounds... uhm... nice, but..." Trixie gulped, not quite liking where this was going. She had only just gotten used to the idea of enjoying the party despite her illicit entry. Being alone with Blueblood dramatically increased the chances of her being arrested, especially given that Ranma had already confronted the royal unicorn.

"But... Trixie's friend is still here!" Trixie said suddenly. "You remember Ranma, right? Trixie doesn't really think she'd want to come with us, and Trixie wouldn't dream of simply leaving her!"

Prince Blueblood soured instantly. "Oh. Right. The redheaded wench. What does it really matter? Can she not find her way home on her own?"

"Prince Blueblood, for shame!" Growled Mayor Baron.

"Well... technically, no, she can't get home without Trixie. It's a little complicated, actually..." A bead of sweat rolled down Trixie's head.

"Well, then maybe I can give her another chance," Prince Blueblood suggested, ignoring the Mayor. "She was rude before, obviously, but if she sees that you're coming with me, I'm sure she'll be more cooperative."

"Trixie really, REALLY doubts that," the magician deadpanned.

"Excuse me, but... you mentioned a redheaded mare? That's the friend you're referring to?" asked the pony that had followed Robber Baron. He had remained entirely silent during the arguments, and even now was staring at something off in the distance.

"Yes. A pegasus, I believe," Mayor Baron confirmed. "Why?"

Kahn Census pointed a hoof off to the side. "I do believe she's absconding with the cake."

Numerous pony guests stared in stunned bewilderment as the four-foot tower cake that had previously been the centerpiece of the dessert table slowly made its way through the crowd. The cake rested on a small serving table, which itself sat on the back of a seductively dressed pegasus pony. The cake teetered left and right from the mare's gait, but the table was well-balanced on the back of her wings.

Ranma strode through the crowd without care, her face a mask of cold determination. She paid no heed to the stares or whispers of the party-goers, nor did she spare a glance toward Trixie's fateful encounter with the Royal Prince. She was a mare on a mission, and she was determined to deliver the opponent riding her to its fateful demise.

That duel, she decided, would be too graphic for a public place, though. While she wasn't truly a lady, Ranma did have SOME shame. A generously-sized shed on the edge of the yard provided the perfectly combination of accessibility and privacy, and served as her current destination.

"Excuse me... Miss... uh..." Out of the many perplexed equines giving her a wide berth, one guard stepped in her path. The stallion was clearly nervous; he honestly couldn't tell if what he was doing was a petty affair beneath his pay grade or a colossal mistake that had him way over his head.

Ranma didn't acknowledge the guard, walking straight toward him with her eyes fixed forward.

"Miss, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure you're not with the catering staff," the guard explained. The closer the pegasus got, the greater the sinking feeling that he was a pebble standing in the path of a steamroller. "I'm going to have to ask you to turn around and put the cake back, please."

Ranma did not stop, but her eyes shifted slightly make contact with the guard. His spine suddenly felt like ice.

"M-Miss? Are you listening? I... I d-don't want t-to-"

The soldier's stuttering protest was silenced as the pegasus finally stepped within leg's reach. Ranma calmly placed a hoof up against his jaw and pushed it closed. Her expression didn't change.

"Shhhhhhh," the martial artist whispered while the cake wobbled on her back. "Don't... It's not worth it."

The cake started tilting dangerously due to her standing on three legs, and then Ranma swiftly shifted to the side to re-balance it. She passed by the guard without another word.

The armored stallion stared straight ahead for a few seconds, looking at nothing.

Then he slowly laid down on the ground, curled up into a ball, and started weeping softly.

"......"

Trixie sighed while the other ponies stared at her traveling companion. Then she turned to Blueblood and tapped him on the shoulder. The stallion jumped slightly, as if shocked by the sudden contact.

"Trixie has changed her mind. Ranma will be fine. We can leave whenever you wish."

"Ah! Well... yes. Let's... Let's be off, then," Blueblood mumbled, following Trixie out of the gazebo. He paused only briefly, glancing back at the Mayor. "Good night, Mayor Baron. And... good luck."

He quickly turned around and trotted away, all too happy to flee the party. He much preferred his socializing in more intimate settings, anyhow.

And if the Prince had his way, he and Trixie would be getting very intimate.

Author's Note

So Violet Hearn posted a comment on the last story about how it would be nice to have at least one chapter where nothing horrible happened and Ranma didn't get chased out of town or falsely accused of another crime and actually got to be mostly happy for a chapter. So here it is. I did that. Enjoy it, because it will never happen again.
(Digs in for possible shipping wars in the comments)

Ranma Saotome's official rap sheet: Assaulting a Princess of Equestria (two counts), assaulting a public official, aggravated assault, trespassing, breaking and entering, arson (multiple counts), vandalism (multiple counts), destruction of private property, resisting arrest, assaulting and battery of an Equestrian General, assaulting an officer (multiple counts), assaulting a soldier of Equestria (multiple counts), unlawful appropriation of military equipment, possession of an unregistered magic weapon, defacing a public bounty notice, high treason, refusal of a royal decree, conspiracy to rebellion, more high treason, illegal deforestation, dine & dash.

Dealing With Rejection (For Fun & Profit)

Taming the Wild Horse

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Chapter 2

Dealing With Rejection (For Fun and Profit)

Prince Blueblood's estate was everything that Trixie had imagined it could be, and more.

Built into the side of a mountain overlooking Fillydelphia, the mansion resembled a miniature Canterlot, in a way. A large platform jutted from the mountainside, supported by heavy wooden struts. A multi-story mansion was embedded directly into the face of the mountain, while the rest of the platform was given over to meticulously tended gardens and a balcony littered with statues and fountains. It made the Mayor's house look positively humble and cozy in comparison.

Trixie was not an easy mare to impress, but even she felt slightly humbled when Blueblood's carriage slowed to a stop in front of the silvery gates that fenced off the massive property. The mansion was partially visible from the rest of the town, but contrary to Blueblood's previous assurances the trip was relatively long. A steep, winding path led up the side of the mountain, passing by several lesser villas belonging to the city's richest ponies. Every one of them absolutely paled in comparison to the royal mansion.

"And here we are." Blueblood said, dropping down out of the carriage. He passed by the two Royal Guards that had towed his wagon without a backward glance, stepping up to the gate. "I am most fortunate you returned my seal to me, Miss Trixie. Otherwise, I would be locked out entirely."

The Prince's horn flashed, and his personal seal slipped out of his jacket and floated into the air. He levitated the seal toward a metal box next to the gate, and then pressed it into an indentation on the side. A mechanism within clicked. Seconds later, the gates themselves started to open up.

"The Royal Family has several estates in cities across the countryside. There are less than a dozen ponies in all Equestria who can open these gates, and none but they and their guests can enter this property," Prince Blueblood said with a smirk.

"Unless they have wings," Trixie remarked as she exited the carriage.

Blueblood's smirk vanished. "Well... yes, I suppose that's true."

"Or if they climb the fence. Or put something else, like the carriage, next to the fence and then jumped over it," Trixie continued.

"Yes, fine. I concede the point," Blueblood huffed. "If somepony wished to break into the estate, there would be little to stop them after defeating the fence."

"Plus, there's a side road a hundred feet back that leads to the servants' entrance, so the gardeners and maids can get in when nopony's here," one of the carriage guards added. "No seal required. I'm not even sure they lock it."

Blueblood glared at the soldiers while Trixie walked past him onto the property. "Indeed. THANK YOU, soldier."

Then the Prince cast a quick glance at Trixie, ensuring that she wasn't paying attention. He stepped closer to the guard and whispered into his ear. "You may take the rest of the night off. I don't expect the lady will be needing a ride back into town tonight."

The guards withheld any comments, offering only small nods and knowing smiles before turning the wagon around and heading back down the mountain.

Trixie stood just inside the mansion gate, scanning the landscaping. Numerous magic torches hung from brass poles, each of them trapped in fragile, detachable lanterns. Large marble statues of non-descript alicorns stood over exquisitely trimmed bushes, like dread sentinels. They had large foundations and would make good hiding spots. One such statue loomed over the fence that surrounded the property, and would make an effective ramp to get on the other side in an emergency.

Not that Trixie was expecting an emergency; it had simply become her habit to tactically review new areas. Possible hazards were catalogued, escape routes noted, and, when necessary, she tried to keep track of unicorns that might somehow end up using magic on Ranma. It was routine by now, even on an occasion that was supposed to be romantic.

Trixie flushed slightly, patting down her dress. This was a romantic rendezvous, wasn't it? She had mostly ignored that implication up until now, but she wasn't naive enough not to read the Prince's intentions. Blueblood hadn't separated her from her companion and spirited her away to an extravagant private residence for mere conversation.

She wasn't completely sure how she felt about that. She wasn't repulsed at the thought, but she wasn't remotely excited at the prospect either. It all seemed like a dream. Not in the sense that it was a desperate fantasy of hers to marry a rich royal stallion, but simply in the sense that it was ridiculous and unlikely. It was completely unreal, like something out her puppet shows.

Then again, as Ranma pointed out, reality has been outpacing Trixie's stories in the fantastic drama department, she thought wryly.

"I'm thrilled you were able to join me, Miss Trixie," Blueblood sighed while he strolled down the main walk toward the house. "That sham of a party was wearing on my nerves. Mayor Baron is a dreadfully dull pony."

"Wasn't he introducing you to those others for a reason, though?" Trixie asked. "Trixie read in the papers that you can appoint the next Mayor of Fillydelphia. Are you not going to? Or have you already decided on a candidate?"

Prince Blueblood looked back at the magician, blinking. Then he smiled. "My, my, Miss Trixie! So well-informed and politically astute! What was your profession, again? You spoke very highly of your magical power, but didn't explain your primary trade."

"Trixie is Equestria's greatest and most powerful illusionist." She fluttered her eyelashes and pressed a hoof against her chest. "Trixie travels the kingdom using her mighty magic to awe the equine masses and undertake dangerous adventures!"

Blueblood mulled that over for a few seconds. "I'm quite surprised I hadn't heard of you, then. Surely you must be a pony of great renown."

Trixie snorted. "Trixie's exploits are not always as... well-appreciated as they should be. Trixie also possesses numerous jealous rivals and other assorted malcontents that antagonize her for one reason or another."

"I can only imagine, if you must keep a bodyguard," Prince Blueblood mused. His horn lit up as he reached the main building, and the gilded double-doors swung open on a trail of blue light. "After you, my dear."

Trixie hesitated, and then nodded her head graciously. She entered the mansion, and Prince Blueblood followed her inside.

It came as no surprise that the interior was as luxurious and impressive as the exterior. The entrance led past a row of marble equine statues before opening up into a large sitting room full of plush velvet seats and satin pillows. On one side of the room was an artificial pond fed by a fountain routed through the mouth of a seapony statue, all sitting between two converging staircases. The other side featured large glass doors and windows that offered an expansive view of the approaching sunset against the mountains.

Trixie was rendered briefly speechless while she walked through the entry hall; no small feat, as anypony familiar with her could attest. She'd never witnessed such a display of sheer wealth up close before, and she wasn't QUITE haughty enough not to be impressed. Only when she recognized one of the statues did the magician find her voice again.

"Twilight Sparkle? They're already making statues of Twilight Sparkle? Psh," Trixie shook her head at the last pony in the row, which was made in the shape of a relatively small alicorn bearing a tiara rather than an armored soldier.

"Ugh, don't get me started," Prince Blueblood huffed while he walked by said statue. "While I don't wish to devalue the contributions Princess Sparkle has made to Equestria or her personal heroism, I think it's slightly impertinent to start building tributes already."

He reached a large circular couch, and his horn flashed. The buttons of his jacket came undone in a series of magic pulses, and the stallion sat up briefly. His clothes peeled off of him and into the air, and then flew haphazardly to the side.

"Besides, I imagine our young Princess isn't feeling especially heroic at the moment," Blueblood said before he hopped onto a cushion and laid down. "Being defeated by two half-wits with delusions of glorious revolution must have been quite humbling."

Trixie hesitated only briefly before stripping off her dress in the sitting room. Disrobing in front of a stallion wasn't considered especially titillating given that ponies were often nude, but at the least it suggested that she was going to stay for an extended period of time.

"Trixie has heard about that," she said before climbing into a large velvet-lined chair. "The press has been breathless about her capture. But didn't she escape? Blood Rite's plot has already been foiled."

Blueblood gave his guest a blissful smile. "Professionally independent, politically adept, and quite well-read in current events, too! Miss Trixie, I'm starting to be impressed!"

"What kind of pony wouldn't be?" Trixie asked airily, lounging on her chair.

Blueblood's horn flashed again, and a liquor cabinet nearby opened up. A pair of short glasses levitated into the air, followed by a bottle of amber liquid.

"May I pour you a drink?"

Trixie responded with a tilt of her head and a flash of light from her horn. The blue aura around the glass suddenly turned pink, and Blueblood recoiled slightly at the sensation of having the objects torn from his magical grasp while they hovered over his head. The glasses and bottle started looping through the air in rapid, intertwined orbits, and the bottle's glass stopper dropped out while the container tumbled from side to side, barely staying upright. The stopper landed in Trixie's upraised hoof, and she smirked.

The orbits continued, and the bottle started tilting over further and further, spilling small washes of liquor over its lip. Each splash was intercepted by one of the glasses below, without spilling so much as a drop on the Prince. This continued for a mere five seconds before the orbits broke. The half-filled liquor glasses swooped down to the lounging unicorns, while the bottle dropped down in front of Trixie.

"Apple brandy?" the magician asked after taking a whiff from the bottle. "Not bad, but a surprising choice for the royal family." She plugged the bottle and settled it onto the carpet.

"It's a... personal favorite of Princess Luna," Blueblood said hesitantly. He felt slightly off-balance at the way Trixie casually seized control of the conversation. "She has developed quite a fondness for apple liquors and other apple products, somehow. Aunt Celestia has no apparent preference, so the servants stock the apple goods."

"Interesting," Trixie remarked before sipping from her glass.

"I agree. There are countless finer beverages available, but Princess Luna has grown quite attached to that particular fruit. Bizarre."

"Not that," she retorted. "You refer to Luna as 'Princess' but Celestia as 'Aunt.' They're sisters, aren't they? Wouldn't you be nephew to both of them?"

This left the Prince stunned for a few seconds. "That... is not... QUITE accurate," he hedged, suddenly sounding uncomfortable. "My family's lineage in relation to the royal family is actually very complex." He chuckled a bit nervously. "Aunt Celestia is, after all, over one thousand years old! I am not her nephew in the literal sense."

"Surprising," Trixie mumbled between sips of her drink. She did not sound surprised. "Trixie wouldn't mind hearing about these complex associations, especially since they apparently neglect Princess Luna's blood relations."

"Oh... no, no. It's really quite a tedious matter. A waste of time, really," Blueblood scoffed, pausing to gulp down some brandy.

Probably an embarrassing story behind it, then. Trixie can't imagine that the Prince managed to fool Princess Celestia with fraud. A meaningless, distant connection desperately inflated to seize influence, or a scandalous link the family would rather not publicize even while they benefit? She turned and levitated her brandy to her lips again. But whatever. That's none of Trixie's business.

Blueblood coughed several times after putting his glass down to clear his throat. "I'd actually like to revisit a previous topic, Miss Trixie. You said that Princess Twilight escaped from the sorcerers. That is indeed what was reported, and the royal family has not bothered to correct the narrative. But that is not precisely what happened." He grinned at the other unicorn. "If you wish, I might divulge a few surprising details about that little incident that the castle would rather keep a secret."

"Trixie would be VERY surprised indeed if there were details of Sparkle's escape that Trixie didn't know about," the magician drawled.

Blueblood chuckled. "Not so much 'details' as the entire premise. Princess Twilight Sparkle did not escape. She was rescued."

Trixie arched an eyebrow. Blueblood took this as a sign to continue.

"When our troops found Princess Sparkle, she did not emerge from the portal outside Coltson on her own, as the papers seem to suggest," the Prince said with a smirk. "They paint such an inspiring image, do they not? You can almost see the poor mare staggering from the magic gate, her fur burned and her wings shattered. The battered victor of some desperate, bloody combat! Heh."

He shook his head. "It's not true. She was carried out of the portal by two other ponies while she herself was completely unconscious. They were immediately surrounded by the Equestrian Royal Guard, but somehow escaped regardless. They left Princess Sparkle behind. Presumably they were the ponies who rescued her."

"I take it you don't know who the ponies are?" Trixie asked between sips of her drink.

"I do not. I could find out if I really wanted to, but my interest does not extend that far. This matter has taken on a somewhat bizarre and clandestine turn. There's a reason that Canterlot hasn't corrected the record on the matter of Sparkle's 'escape' and recovery."

"Why would that be?" Trixie asked.

At this question, Blueblood hesitated. He met Trixie's eyes, his expression guarded and calculating. It was a good look for him, she decided.

Then the Prince shrugged. "I don't really know. The ponies who saved her have... something."

"Something?"

"Something important," Blueblood amended. "Something that Aunt Celestia wants, and they seem reluctant to give her. Or maybe they just know where it is, or at least have some relevant information. I'm not completely sure, and neither is the Royal Guard. It's become a bit of a problem."

"You make her sound like a greedy tyrant," Trixie said with a giggle.

"Of course not," Blueblood scoffed," Aunt Celestia wishes no harm upon these ponies, and I'm sure she wants... whatever it is for the sake of the kingdom, not herself. Can you imagine her using Equestria's military to hunt down shiny baubles for some useless artifact collection? The very idea!" He took a gulp from his glass and wet his lips. "To be fair, though, I can't figure out WHAT exactly the palace is doing about this. Why not use the press to more actively publicize their identities?"

"To have them captured so that Canterlot can seize their property, or so that they can lauded as heroes for saving an Equestrian Princess?"

"The former, of course," Blueblood said without hesitation. Trixie looked annoyed at this, so he continued. “Although they're not mutually exclusive. Why, I'd rather enjoy seeing some cold water poured on Princess Sparkle's latest noble victory over the evil that threatens our beloved kingdom! There are even ponies who claim, against all evidence, that she captured or destroyed the rebel sorcerers as well! Ridiculous, even putting aside that the filthy vagrants defeated her once already."

Trixie's ears perked up. "You sound like you don't like Princess Sparkle very much."

Again, Prince Blueblood seemed to stop for a moment, staring at her cautiously while selecting his next words. Trixie enjoyed his moments of reticence. Not only was it a welcome change from his yammering in itself, but it felt good to pry open the Prince's political posturing little by little.

"Princess Sparkle is a hero of Equestria and Aunt Celestia's chosen champion, and she has my utmost respect and gratitude," Blueblood said stiffly. "I simply find some amusing irony in the case that a pony who has defeated Discord and Nightmare Moon and become more powerful than ever was bested by a pair of drop-outs from Aunt Celestia's school."

"Her school? Those two went to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns?" Trixie asked.

"Briefly," Blueblood sniffed, pausing to sip his drink again. "I can't imagine they fit in amongst Equestria's elite, even if they showed some particular proficiency in lighting things ablaze. Why, when I was attending, it was considered a failure in most classes just to..."

Trixie stared into her glass, feeling the steadily rising warmth of the apple brandy. Prince Blueblood continued talking about himself. He seemed to enjoy the topic immensely, but Trixie was getting bored already.

She tilted the glass back, letting a thin stream of the spicy, sweet brandy spill down her throat. So this was the life of a noble pony, was it? Lazing about on cushions, drinking semi-expensive liquor, and listening to a stallion of extraordinary power drone on and relay gossip in a clumsy, transparent attempt to seduce her?

It was supposed to be everything a mare could want. Why, she had been lauding Blueblood's status, behavior, and wealth just yesterday. What lady pony didn't dream of being plucked out of a crowd to play guest to a smitten Prince? She, of anypony, deserved such a fate after what she had endured while saving the kingdom from Blood Rite! After spending most of her life dragging herself from village to village to entertain strangers, it would be an almost poetic conclusion to her travels.

Trixie shook her head and lowered her emptied glass. Now that she was living the experience, Trixie found it... not just underwhelming, but aggravating. She wasn't precisely sure why. Probably because it involved listening to self-absorbed ponies prattling on about silly things much more than she expected. She much preferred to do the prattling herself. She was supposed to be dazzled and entranced, but instead the magician was simply bored.

"... which is why Aunt Celestia uses a proper dean nowadays. Hardly anything else to do, after all that." Blueblood chuckled to himself and used his magic to pour himself another drink.

Trixie noticed the pause in the conversation and decided a change of subject was in order. "Trixie should have invited Ranma along after all. Trixie is getting worried about her."

Prince Blueblood's expression visibly soured. "That thug of a mare? I suppose I could have allowed her to tag along, assuming a proper apology for her impertinence and a promise to be on her best behavior."

Trixie laughed, and Blueblood scowled. "I'm being serious. A crude pony like that could be a threat to royal property. Who knows if she might break something or start a fight on the premises?"

"Trixie knows you're being serious," she said between giggles, "and you're not exactly wrong, either!"

Blueblood seemed even more perplexed at this.

"Ranma is a bit of scoundrel, honestly. He-erm! She is always involved in some kind of trouble." Trixie smiled warmly. "In her defense, it's usually not her fault. And Ranma always has good intentions, at least. But as you saw she's very brash and a bit dim, so Trixie worries what she'll get up to when left alone for the evening."

"Oh, come now. I'm sure she's doing just fine," Blueblood scoffed.

"ATTENTION, MISCREANT!! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!! EXIT THE SHED AND SURRENDER THE CAKE IMMEDIATELY, OR WE WILL ENTER WITH FORCE!!"

All around the garden shed stood a ring of armored pony soldiers with their spears leveled at the small structure. Pegasi hovered overhead, flying in staggered formations to intercept any retreat through the air. A unicorn Sergeant stood atop a buffet table while he yelled into his bullhorn to deliver his ultimatum.

After a few seconds, a tremendous belch came from shed. The walls rattled from the sound, and a few of the ponies on the front line winced.

"I say, isn't this a bit much, Sir?" Mayor Robber Baron stood behind the Sergeant, looking over his garden shed with a sense of exasperation. "Really, the cake is no great loss. This is hardly worth-"

"I appreciate your input on the matter, Mayor, but I am in no position to offer leniency," the Sergeant snarled, cutting off the earth pony. "This sort of conduct may get a pass under your local police, but the Royal Guard doesn't let our guests cause this kind of disturbance!"

The Mayor grimaced. "And you resolve this by creating an even bigger disturbance?"

"Zealotry in the pursuit of justice is no sin, Mayor," the Sergeant sniffed.

Another soldier snorted. "You're just mad because she ate all the chocolate-dipped strawberries."

"THEY'RE MY FAVORITE!!" the Sergeant shouted into the bullhorn, knocking the insolent guard over with its sheer volume. "DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THOSE THINGS ARE IN CANTERLOT?! AND HALF THE TIME THEY'RE STILL SOLD OUT BEFORE MY SHIFT IS OVER!!"

The hapless soldier curled up on the ground and pinned his ears down, completely subdued. The Sergeant turned back toward the shed.

"THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!! EXIT THE SHED AND SURRENDER THE CAKE AT ONCE!! YOUR DESECRATION OF THE DESSERT TABLE WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN!!" A single tear crawled down his cheek, and the soldier fought to restrain a sniffle.

Inside the shed, Ranma sighed in contentment while she lay on her back. Her belly was badly distended, and bits of white frosting and sticky crumbs clung to her dress and exposed spots of fur.

"Damn, that was good," the pegasus moaned. "Horses may be missing out with the vegetarian thing, but man oh man, can they bake!"

The sound of rattling armor came from outside.

"I suppose I should get out of here. They seem really mad, and it's not like I need to stick around since Trix already left with Prince Something-or-Other." Ranma rolled onto her swollen belly, and then stood up. "Lessee... I promised I wouldn't hit anyone, so that means a clean retreat. Lot of bird-horses covering escape routes in the air, and they're probably better flyers than I am. Let's keep it grounded."

Heavy hoofsteps approached the shed door and stopped right outside.

"It's for the best," the redhead murmured, stretching out her legs one by one, "I need to work off all this cake anyway."

"ALL RIGHT, YOU FEATHERED SUGAR BANDIT!! WE'RE COMING IN AFTER YOU!!" boomed the Sergeant's bullhorn.

A grunt and a whinny came from outside, and a moment later two pairs of armored hooves smashed the front door to splinters.

The two massive earth ponies that had bucked the door down didn't even have time to turn around before a streak of crimson and gray flew over them and landed on the opposite side.

"Thanks for the sweets, guys!" Ranma chirped while she skidded across the ground. Several Royal Guards jumped back nervously or started wheeling around, trying to keep track of her. "Yo, Mayor! Nice party! You're way cooler than the Mayor in Hoofington!" She flipped a wing up, waving to Robber Baron as the soldiers started closing in on her.

Mayor Baron only managed to blink in surprise before Ranma bolted. The pegasus dashed straight toward a soldier, kicking the spear out of his hoof before he could react. The spear stabbed into the side of a tree while the armored pony recoiled, and Ranma jumped onto his back before vaulting away.

"GET HER!!" screamed the Sergeant, levitating his spear into position while the redhead galloped away.

"Why?" asked the Mayor as a dozen armored stallions galloped past. "No, seriously! Why are we causing such a scene over a blasted cake? Just shoo her off the grounds if you must!"

Ranma dropped to the ground in mid-dash, narrowing her profile and sliding between the legs of a particularly large earth pony who had been standing in her path. She bounced back to her hooves once on the other side, leapt over a startled unicorn, and crossed the threshold into the Mayor's house.

"GO! GO! GO!" the Sergeant roared.

"Be careful, you louts!" Mayor Baron shouted. "You could break something!"

Ranma bolted past a startled couple standing in the dining hall, and then galloped into the den. She skidded to a stop, glancing down one hall and then another. Several guests and servants stared in bewilderment, vaguely aware of the soldiers shouting outside.

"Hey, you. Does the bathroom have a lock on it?" Ranma asked, pointing a wing at the nearest equine butler. "I want to freshen up a little bit before I go, but I need the door to hold these goons back for a minute or two."

The butler started stuttering a response, only for the redhead to interrupt him immediately.

"No, wait, never mind. New question." She stared across the den toward the roaring fireplace, her eyes fixing on a large bowl sitting nearby on a coffee table. "Are those candied pecans?"

"Y-Yes," the butler replied.

He was nearly bowled over by the wind of Ranma's passage as the martial artist pounced, leaping over an intervening couch and immediately shoving her head into the bowl. A furious series of crunching and scarfing noises ensued, and she wrapped her forelegs around the bowl as if she were afraid somepony might try to separate her from the snacks.

Which may have been a legitimate concern, given that a pair of armored ponies charged in after her wielding spears.

"There you are! Surrender immediately!" barked an earth pony, skidding to a stop at the edge of the den.

The unicorn Sergeant behind him opted for a less subtle approach, sliding past his colleague and levitating his spear into the air.

"FOR JUSTIIIIIIICE!!" he howled, launching his weapon forward with a pulse of kinetic force.

Ranma suddenly reared up, knocking the bowl over and letting the spear pass by her. It flew into the fireplace and struck one of the burning logs, embedding itself deep. Ranma kicked herself around and fled down the hall, her mouth still full of sugar-coated nuts.

"Blast! Missed!" hissed the Sergeant.

"WHOA! What the hay?!" the other soldier shouted, recoiling. "What are you doing, you maniac?! You almost skewered her!"

"Oh, please. She didn't lose so much as a hair," the Sergeant growled, starting to turn away. "Come on, let's-"

"No. Sarge, we gotta talk," the other stallion said firmly, placing a hoof on the unicorn's shoulder guard. "You went totally ballistic on this mare, and I'm pretty sure it's not just because of some strawberries. As far as we know, she hasn't even committed an actual crime. What's up?"

The unicorn scrunched up his snout and looked away. Several other Royal Guards galloped through the halls behind them, but the pair of soldiers paid them no mind.

"I… I've... been feeling a little bored lately, I guess. Bored and frustrated," the Sergeant admitted. "We've been guarding the Prince for MONTHS, Cutlass. Months! And accomplished zilch. Blueblood treats us like any other servants, and we don't arrest or fight anypony EVER. I barely feel like a soldier anymore!"

He shook his head. "I didn't join the Guard to fetch things for a royal pony, you know? And especially now, with all this talk of bandits and evil unicorns attacking Equestria... I really feel like I should be DOING something! Taking on bad guys and fighting injustice! Protecting the common pony! This is the closest thing to action I've seen since the Griffon skirmishes last year!"

Then he sighed and looked back at Cutlass. "But you're right, buddy. It isn't right to take it out on an unruly party guest. The Royal Guard is better than that."

Cutlass nodded somberly, spreading his forelegs. "C'mon, Sarge. Hug it out."

The stallions embraced, and the Sergeant took a deep, calming breath. Cutlass patted him on the back, rubbing his hoof over his superior's withers.

A butler cleared his throat. "Gentlecolts, I don't wish to interrupt this touching moment, but-"

"Sssssssh," Cutlass hushed. "We need a minute."

"Sirs, I really think this-"

"It's fine," Sarge interrupted. "Let the mare go. She doesn't deserve this."

"... The manor is on fire," the butler eventually blurted nervously.

The soldiers finally broke their calming embrace to look over toward the fireplace. The wooden shaft of the Sergeant's spear had been consumed by flame and apparently broken from the steel spearhead. That length of burning wood had fallen beneath a chair, and the blaze around the furniture and carpet was rapidly building.

"......" Cutlass stepped away from his superior, glaring at the other stallion.

The Sergeant stared at the spreading flames, and then tilted his head to the side.

"When you think about it, this is really that mare's fault for resisting arrest, right?"

"You're unbelievable, Sarge."

"Trixie has no doubt Ranma will be just fine. That may not be the case for everypony who happens to be in her path," Trixie mumbled. "As Trixie is sure you're aware..."

Blueblood snorted hotly. "I must ask why such a refined and astute mare such as yourself associates with such a crude and hostile pony. You said she was a bodyguard, correct? What's the point of a guard that causes more trouble than she prevents?"

"Well, that's not quite... Uh... That is, she..." Trixie stumbled over her words, and her brow knit in concentration. "... Just a minute."

She turned away, quietly mumbling to herself while she divided up the various incidents Ranma had rescued her from. "Attacked by bandits, sort of his fault, but not really. Attacked by sorcerers, his fault. Attacked by musicians, not his fault at all. Attacked by Lunar Guard, kind of his fault, but Trixie was never in danger, so whatever. Jumped by sorcerers during his duel with Princess Luna, completely his fault. Stormed by Equestrian troops during Trixie's plan, his fault but only because the ambush was. Infiltrating the sorcerer tower was entirely Trixie's idea, so not his fault. Dragon emerging from nowhere, not his fault..."

Blueblood arched an eyebrow as his guest continued mumbling under her breath, apparently laying out the case he had asserted in her head and doing an item-by-item account. He felt gratified that she was taking his casual condescension seriously, although he felt the mere fact that she had to stop and weigh the matter vindicated him.

Trixie squeezed one eye shut and tilted her head to the side. "And then there was the party... which was Ranma's idea, but was actually kind of nice and didn't turn out to be a complete disaster, if only because of Trixie's quick thinking."

Nodding decisively, the magician turned back to her host. "On balance, Trixie would say that Ranma DOES prevent more harm than she causes. Although Trixie has been exposed to a frankly bizarre amount of unprovoked potential harm lately. It's not quite fair to blame her for random chance being inexplicably hostile recently, but Trixie never used to see more than one major explosion a week."

When she finished, Trixie found that Blueblood was staring at her silently. His expression was slightly glassy, although he quickly brought himself to attention.

"My apologies, my dear. I'm... I'm not used to hearing somepony speak who's more interesting than I am."

Trixie's laughter came on so suddenly and strongly that she was left kicking at the air in her seat. Blueblood recoiled in surprise, but didn't seem offended even as the giggling mare started wiping tears from her eyes.

"Oh, Prince, you have NO idea," Trixie said between chuckles. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has hardly told you anything at all! Trixie's minor debacles getting Ranma out of trouble pale in comparison to Trixie's more impressive feats and daring adventures!"

"I would love to hear more," Blueblood said, pouring himself more brandy.

"Not all of Trixie's stories are suited for royal company," the mare replied with a haughty chuckle. "But... Trixie supposes she could tell you about the time Trixie bested Twilight Sparkle in a magic duel."

Blueblood's glass quivered in the air, his telekinesis briefly weakening from his shock. He quickly put down the bottle and regarded his guest with an arched eyebrow. "You defeated Princess Sparkle? The Element of Magic? At a magic duel?" While Blueblood hadn't spared Trixie any flattery so far, he couldn't contain his skepticism at such a claim.

Trixie smirked, savoring the stallion's reaction. To Blueblood, this evening was probably intended as romantic social ritual: pick out a desirable mare, wine and dine her, and then butter her up for a night of shameless passion, never to see her again. To Trixie, she was simply putting on a show, just with a much smaller and more influential audience than usual.

"It's true. But if you find such a thing too preposterous, we can always talk about something else..."

Blueblood shook his head quickly. "No, no! Please, do go on! How did you come to meet Princess Twilight Sparkle and challenge her to a duel?"

"She wasn't a Princess then. And Trixie had crossed paths with the Element of Magic before that." She paused to take a sip of her drink, quickly considering the best way to minimize that particular incident. "... It hardly bears mentioning, really. Nothing interesting happened. At all." She coughed lightly, putting down her drink. "It all REALLY started when Trixie tracked down an ancient artifact in a shady old backwater shop... the Alicorn Amulet!"

Blueblood recoiled in surprise. Trixie smirked even wider.

"Impossible! The Amulet has been lost for generations!" the Prince gasped.

"So it was. Abandoned after the last war with the Griffon Kingdom, it had long been rumored to be somewhere in the border territories of Equestria. No unicorn that knew of its existence dared to track it down for fear of the curse of its power! Until Trixie, of course."

Blueblood leaned forward on his cushion, paying rapt attention. "I've only heard vague references to the Alicorn Amulet. Supposedly it drives ponies insane even while giving them unrivaled magic strength! Is this true?"

A droplet of sweat trickled down Trixie's head. With a quick swipe of her hoof, she wiped it away.

"Oh, it's true. The curse challenged even Trixie's iron will. But Trixie bravely risked everything in order to teach Twilight Sparkle a much-needed lesson in humility!"

Blueblood blinked. Then he tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. "Really? Why? She wasn't even a Princess at this point, right?"

"Not important. What IS important is that Trixie's greatness and power rose to incredible heights, shattering all previous limits!" The magician jumped up on her seat, posing elegantly while her drink hovered in a magical orbit. "Trixie won't bore you with the details, but with this new power Trixie humiliated Twilight Sparkle right out of town!"

"I think I could stand to hear the details, if you don't mind."

Trixie's grin split her face nearly ear to ear. "Well... if you insist..."

In the heart of Canterlot, on the edge of a balcony jutting out from a towering castle spire, an ancient ritual took place.

The magic spell was one of fantastic power; a weave capable of shackling the very sun to the will of the bearer. Its parameters were tested by the ages, for any great variance could send the planet's star hurtling too close for the surface to endure its heat. Or, if the error happened to favor a different direction, the life-giving sun could be flung into the endless void, condemning the world's inhabitants to the slightly slower fate of freezing. The eventual result if the spell was not cast at all was a hypothesis that had long been discussed but never put to test, for such an experiment could easily be apocalyptic in its consequences.

At the same time, a similar enchantment wrenched the moon into place. The ancient satellite rose above the horizon as the sun sank out of sight. One ritual fed into the other, entwined in a torrent of magic power that could crush an entire continent to dust were it put to less benign purposes.

Yet, to the many citizens of Canterlot, this act of fantastic magical strength was simple routine. The sun went down and the moon went up, every day, over and over, predictably enough to be timed and mapped by clock and calendar. Arcane mastery of mythical scale was reduced to a tedious act of maintenance. Any citizen of Equestria's capital could bear witness to the sight of Princess Celestia and Luna standing on their tower balcony and guiding their respective astral bodies into place, but few of them took notice. Once you'd seen one casting guiding a system star into place, you'd seen them all.

During this particular dusk, however, the sister alicorns were being observed. Beyond the towers of Canterlot Castle, at the peak of the mountain which hosted the ancient city, a pair of gleaming golden eyes watched in fascination...

Princess Celestia released a tired sigh as the golden glow of her horn dimmed. Her shoulders sagged, and even the perpetual flutter of her mane and tail seemed to weaken. The White Princess twisted her head around, offering her sister a tired smile.

"Thank you, Luna. I'll be heading to bed, then," Celestia nodded her head and started to turn around.

"So soon? Sister, you've been going to bed earlier and earlier as of late." Princess Luna's horn also dimmed as her own spell reached completion. "While it is paramount that you get sufficient rest, it doesn't appear to be helping. What is troubling you?"

Celestia heaved a much heavier sigh, and her gaze briefly darted away. Luna recognized the direction in an instant; although the village wasn't quite visible from here without the aid of a telescope, her glance had been in the direction of Ponyville.

"Twilight Sparkle? I thought the doctors concluded she would recover fully," Luna mumbled, arching an eyebrow. "Surely you're not worried about complications at this point."

"No, Luna. That's not it," Celestia mumbled, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. "Twilight is going to be fine. Physically, at least."

Luna's other eyebrow arched. "... Go on."

The White Princess pursed her lips tightly. She clearly didn't want to have this conversation, but at the same time she had bottled up the emotions for long enough that she knew she would only suffer further if she didn't tell somepony. There was no good reason to hide her feelings from Luna, especially after everything she had been through.

"Have you seen the update on the search for Blood Rite?" Celestia asked dryly.

"Aye, Sister. Nothing. Same as yesterday, and the day before that, stretching all the way back to when we established a larger garrison at Coltson. The trail seems cold. What of it?"

Celestia slumped into a sitting position. "What of it, Luna? A madpony is on the loose and we are helpless! Completely blind! Blood Rite could strike at any time, at any place, and what could we do?"

Luna furrowed her brow. "Helpless? The rogue sorcerer was foiled, was he not? And with Sparkle and General Firebrand nearly recovered, our own power has hardly been diminished."

Celestia barked a dry, bitter laugh. "What good is our military might if we cannot find and stop a single unicorn who means to harm us and our subjects? Blood Rite attacks us as he wishes! He ambushed you in the forest, and Twilight outside a major city! He tried to capture you to be used as mere batteries for his insane schemes! And with a force of hundreds of soldiers and our mightiest battle wizard outside of the Elements of Harmony, we could do nothing but rush Twilight to a healer after others had stopped him. Maybe stopped him."

"Had Blood Rite not been stopped, surely we would have been the target of some sort of attack by now. I'm certain his initial plans, at least, have been thwarted," Luna insisted.

"So we hope. Yet we still don't know where the MacGuffin Stone is. Or where Havoc or Saotome Ranma or whoever are. Or even what HAPPENED!" Celestia said, her soft, motherly voicing coming dangerously close to a growl. "All Twilight herself remembered was being told she was being let go, and then Blood Rite left! And then what? 'The floor exploded.' Really? This is crazy, Luna! Blood Rite is still out there, he's still plotting against us, and we can't stop him! And it's all my fault!"

The last line was delivered in a pitch that sounded suspiciously like she was trying to choke down a sobbing wail, and Luna blinked in surprise. Then the Princess of the Night frowned, tapping a hoof to her chin.

"... There are many ponies who might share blame for allowing Blood Rite's efforts to advance as far as they did, including myself. But as far as I'm aware, you are not one of them, Sister."

"As far as you're aware," Celestia repeated glumly.

"If you wish to enlighten me, Sister, I'm willing to listen."

Celestia fell silent, staring at the floor. "... I... I don't know. It's so painful, and it wouldn't change anything."

"If it wouldn't change anything, then you need not tell me," Luna shrugged. "I know better than most the value of leaving the sins and errors of the past in the dust of history. If you feel it would relieve you, then tell me what you know. If you would merely dwell on your failure all the more, then let us concentrate on the present and future. Sometimes we cannot fix our mistakes, but we must at least try to see past them."

Princess Celestia swallowed, her eyes nervously rising to meet those of her little sister. This conversation seemed absurd; that the impetuous alicorn who once led a destructive rebellion against Equestria would stand confidently in front of her and preach about guilt and penance. But surely if Luna could make peace with her past, a mistake that nearly plunged the world into shadow, Celestia could forgive setting one student on the wrong path?

Well, maybe two students. I still don't know what ever happened to Sunset Shimmer, she thought ruefully.

She took a deep breath. "Luna... the truth is, Blood Rite used to be-"

A scream cut through the cool night air.

Celestia jumped in surprise, while Luna snapped her head around with her horn already sparking.

Soon numerous other screams and shouts followed the first one. Oddly enough, most of them were coming from above the tower, rather than below. The only ponies that would be flying over the castle were pegasus guards, and sure enough, a glance upward confirmed that the flying soldiers were scattering through the air in a panic. It didn't take long to figure out why, either.

"By the moon! A dragon attack?!" Luna gasped.

Celestia's reaction was similar at first, but then started to twist into confusion. "Is... Is that...?"

A massive, serpentine form hung in the air over Canterlot, its wings blasting gusts of wind that rattled windows. Covered in thick, armored scales of bright red striped with black, Kamikazan scanned the towers of Canterlot Castle with golden eyes that glowed bright in the gloom. Soldiers screamed and shouted at the sight of the beast, but the Prince of Dragons ignored them as a pony might ignore a scrambling nest of ants.

Kamikazan eyes were fixed on the balcony which hosted the alicorn sisters. His lips curled into a fierce grin.

The dragon hovered forward, only for a magical force field to shimmer into place in front of him. Kamikazan remained unperturbed, tapping a claw against the barrier and feeling the gentle buzz of its repulsing energies.

Then, with a rumbling chuckle, the red dragon turned away. His wings beat faster, carrying him higher into the air and taking him up the mountain above Canterlot.

Luna furrowed her brow as the dragon retreated, her horn still pulsing with power. "What gall! The dragons should know better than to encroach on Equestrian soil, but to assault the capital so brazenly..."

She turned to Celestia as she complained, and her sentence trailed off awkwardly. Celestia had the most bizarre expression on her face while she stared up at the sky; a twisted sneer of simultaneous contempt, disgust, and exasperation. Luna had never seen anything quite like it. And certainly she'd never seen anything from Celestia, who usually took extreme care to maintain her dignified, motherly demeanor whenever she could.

In a moment, Celestia's expression returned to something more neutral. "Kamikazan... how did he get free, I wonder?" Luna could swear she saw her sister's eyebrow twitch, but couldn't be sure.

"Sister, who was that? An enemy?" Luna asked. "Should we launch pursuit?"

Princess Celestia looked away, her mind racing while she fixed her gaze somewhere else. Luna could tell that her sibling was seriously considering the option.

"... No. In fact, you should contact the Guard at once to prevent any panic. Kamikazan is likely no threat to us."

"Likely? So we cannot be sure?" Luna pressed.

"Kamikazan is not a sophisticated creature, Luna. Had he intended us harm he would have ruthlessly battered himself against the barrier until it broke or we repelled him with force. He simply wanted us... wanted ME, really... to know that he was free again."

Celestia started walking back toward the tower entrance. Unlike before, now her expression was carefully schooled in neutrality. So carefully schooled, in fact, that Luna immediately knew her elder sibling was up to something.

"But who is he? Why was he not free before? Why is he here now? And what does he want?"

"The answers to those questions are... complicated," Celestia mumbled on her way out. "See to the guards, Luna. I will have answers for you in due time."

With a pulse of yellow light, Celestia popped into existence high above the mountains that held Canterlot. Her wings spread and caught the air in moments, quickly arresting the imminent fall, and the white alicorn began soaring just below the clouds over her home city. She curved through the air, her eyes scanning the empty night sky. Spotting nothing out of the ordinary, she focused on the peak of the mountain Canterlot was built on. Near the very tip of the mountain was a small cave entrance. It was normally impossible to spot at night, but there was a small bit of light coming from the cave interior, making the entrance stand out in the gloom.

Princess Celestia stopped her approach and hovered in place. "I can't believe I'm actually doing this," she groaned, hanging her head. "Why? Why did he have to show up again? And why NOW, of all times?"

She glanced back down at the castle, thinking about the hot cup of herbal tea and her warm, soft bed waiting for her in her chambers. The temptation of turning away from the cavern, ignoring the dragon, and simply going to sleep felt like an iron ball chained to her leg, physically trying to drag her down toward her precious castle. She had so little to gain by being here, and so many awful things could happen as a result.

"No. No, Celestia. You have to at least talk to him and find out what's going on. IF he's still around," she said through clenched teeth. "Maybe he's not, though. Maybe he left after showing himself, and the light in the cave is from a pair of adventurous lovers meeting in an exotic location! Yes, I think that would be far preferable."

Still mumbling to herself, the Princess of the Sun landed at the entrance to the cave and peeked inside.

Immediately, her hopes that some other pony had created the light were dashed. The source of the light was a small blaze floating out in the open, burning from a sphere of pulsing fire magic. It was not a particularly powerful spell, but it was the sort of thing no unicorn would have used in place of a light cantrip.

"My dear Princesssss..."

A voice from the shadows deeper in the cave emerged, the "s" being drawn out like a serpent's hiss. Celestia felt a chill down her spine, but maintained her composure. Her horn lit up with golden light, and she annihilated the fire sphere with a spark of magic.

"Hello, Kamikazan. Welcome to Equestria," she said flatly before her horn flashed, fully illuminating the cavern. "Next time you drop by, please use the front entrance. Or better yet, don't drop by anymore."

At the far end of the cave was Kamikazan. The Prince of Dragons had taken on a smaller form for this meeting; a roughly hybrid body crafted from pure magic. His scales had turned to bright red fur, and his wings now sported feathers like hers did. He sported a mane and equine tail of jet black, while the massive horns of his dragon body were shortened to a pair of ash-gray spikes jutting out of the back of his head like an antelope. Celestia might have found the form halfway attractive if it weren't for Kamikazan's feet, which retained their lizard-like fingers and claws, and his jaws, which still proudly displayed rows of sharp, vicious teeth along with his fangs.

"Celess, my dear," the dragon cooed, approaching the Princess, "please, don't be so formal. There's nopony around but ussss..." his pointed tongue snaked out between his teeth on the last syllabled, and Celestia felt another chill.

"Have it your way. How did you get free, Kozy?" the alicorn asked blandly.

Much to her growing irritation, the dragon quivered in delight, and a goofy grin stretched across his face. "Oh, Celess! It's been SO long since somepony called me that! Centuries of torment, trapped in that cavern in restless slumber, unable to hear your voice, and you heal me with a word!"

"Then it seems like you're not upset about being imprisoned for some four hundred years," Celestia drawled. "That's... good. I suppose."

"Oh, I was quite angry," Kamikazan said, a growl suddenly rising in his throat. A few tiny embers leaked from his mouth, dripping to the floor like glowing drops of saliva. "You can't possibly know the depths of my rage, Celess. To have my throne denied me, to be spurned by my mate of choice, and then to have that same creature - you - attack me out of nowhere and seal me under-"

"YOU attacked ME, Kozy," Celestia snapped, her lip pulling up into a snarl. "That I managed to escape to an unpopulated region and finish the battle there is hardly 'attacking you out of nowhere.' You were a threat to me and my people, and I dealt with you appropriately. I've shown you far more deference and respect than you've ever offered any of your victims!"

Kamikazan's demeanor changed in an instant, his expression softening and his ears pinning back. "Oh, Celess, please, let's not fight. Such a horrid expression doesn't suit you."

Celestia rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh, but the Dragon Prince instantly brightened at seeing her expression change from mad to merely annoyed.

"It's true, I was mad. My long rest was not a peaceful one. My awakening was not painless." His eyes narrowed. "And I had to deal with the most BRUTISH pony I'd ever met once I tore free of my prison! He hit me in the eye! The EYE! Who even does that?"

"Medium-sized gray stallion? Black mane? Pigtail? Spiked wheel for a cutie mark?" Celestia asked.

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Just a guess," the royal mare sighed. "Never mind. Go on."

"Right. Yes." Kamikazan coughed. "I was not in the best of moods as I explored this world for the first time in centuries. The dragons' power has waned even further in my absence, and those who survive live like beasts rather than kings. My fury burned hotter as I scouted your kingdom, like a stirring volcano; every town, every city, every cottage that lay within what used to be MY LAND was like another coal on the stove of my rage! Even free, my sleep was restless, for every night I dreamt of the vengeance I would wreak upon your feeble capital!"

His eyes darkened, and Celestia fought the urge to step back. A moment later, however, the serpent lifted his head. His eyes were clear and his smile broad.

"And then I saw you, Celess. Shining with the power of this world's most ancient magic, looking every bit as flawless and beautiful as you did four hundred years ago." Kamikazan started walking around Celestia, his golden eyes tracing every curve of her body. "That brilliant, pearly coat. Those magnificent, swan-like wings. The ethereal and weirdly colorful mane! Such grace! Such poise! Undiminished in the slightest by age or the burdens of your station! My anger melted away in moments, the centuries of torment faded to a vague memory, and my loins-"

"Okay! I get it!" Celestia interrupted harshly. Despite herself, her cheeks started to take on a pink tinge. "So you don't want to burn down my kingdom and enslave my little ponies after all. Good. Fantastic, even. I'm glad that love has replaced hatred in your heart and so on and so forth." She coughed lightly and then turned around to face Kamikazan, who now stood between her and the cave entrance. "If that is all, Kozy, I must really get back to my castle."

"Oh, that is very much NOT all, Celess," the dragon grinned. "I want you."

"I noticed," the White Princess said flatly. "But if you think you can trap me in here, then I'm afraid your memory may not have endured the ravages of time quite as well as my body."

Kamikazan snorted, and tiny puffs of flame erupted from his pony-like snout. "You make me sound like such a thug, Celess! I didn't meet with you to force myself upon you! I intend to seduce you!"

"And I intended to leave you buried for long enough that I'd forget you'd ever existed. But we don't always get what we want, Kozy," Celestia said dryly.

"Celess, please," the dragon groaned. "At least give me a chance! Are you really not tired of being alone and unloved after so many centuries?"

Celestia recoiled, looking offended. "Excuse me? Why do you just assume I haven't taken any lovers in 400 years?"

Kamikazan raised an eyebrow. "Have you?"

"Well, I... Maybe I did! Why couldn't I, what with how you go on about how pretty I am? I could... That is... It's none of your business!" the alicorn snapped, rustling her feathers and flushing even deeper.

Kamikazan kept his brow quirked. "I thought so. I doubt I'm the only suitor you've sent packing. I'm probably the only one you had to magically imprison, though."

"Third," Celestia mumbled.

"What? Really? Who else-"

"I've had enough of this!" Celestia suddenly growled, her horn sparking with power. "This rendezvous is over. If you have any sense of decency, you'll get out of my way and spare me the effort of having to teleport past you."

Kamikazan grimaced. "Celess, I just want-"

Celestia vanished in a burst of golden light, and then snapped back into reality behind the transformed dragon.

"That's Princess Celestia to you, Prince Kamikazan," Celestia sniffed, glaring back at him.

"King! I'm a king!" he corrected as he whirled around. "Although if you wanted to take a more formal approach to this, I can work with that too! A royal union? Diplomatic marriage? A treaty negotiation over a romantic dinner, maybe?"

"Good night, Prince," Celestia turned her head away and walked toward the cavern entrance.

Kamikazan snarled, his lips peeling back over his curved, razor-edged teeth. "Don't you turn your back on me, equine! We may be fellow immortals and royals, but we are not equals!"

"That was quite clear after our last altercation," Celestia said blithely.

"I am the King of Dragons! The mightiest creature in all the lands!" Kamikazan shouted, his eyes flashing angrily. "No enemy is beyond my power! No treasure is beyond my grasp! No other creature could offer you, custodian of the sun, such worthy companionship! And yet again and again you spurn me?! WHY?!"

"Ah, yes. Murder, greed, and ego. What mare could resist such charm?" Celestia rolled her eyes as she reached the exit. She spread her wings, and then tensed her legs to jump. "Really, what use would I, of all ponies, have for more treas-"

Kamikazan blinked repeatedly. Celestia had frozen in her takeoff pose, having cut herself off mid-mumble. It was so sudden and strange that the Dragon Prince shifted his vision to check for some sort of magical sabotage. Alas, the White Princess was not stricken by any spell that he could see.

"... Celess? Erm, I mean, Princess Celestia?" he asked, daring to step closer.

The alicorn stood up straight again and folded her wings against her back. Then she cleared her throat while still facing away from her suitor.

"You say you can acquire treasure? Any treasure?" Celestia asked evenly.

Kamikazan felt his heart jump. "Yes! Yes, absolutely! As much as you want!"

"It is not the quantity that I'm interested in." Celestia slowly turned around, her movements stiff and overly deliberate. "I'm asking if you can locate, secure, and give me a specific treasure that I cannot find on my own."

"Oh. Well... that's harder, I suppose, but yes! I can do that!" the dragon nodded enthusiastically, a huge smile stretched across his face. "I'll need SOME sort of lead or description, of course... as well as a promise of a reward..."

"The lead aspect is easy, actually. That 'brute' of a pony you mentioned earlier."

"Saotome Ranma?" Kamikazan asked in surprise. "He has this treasure?"

"Maybe. Or maybe he knows where it is. At the very least, he should know something of the pony who last possessed it: a unicorn by the name of Blood Rite," Celestia explained. "The treasure itself is the legendary MacGuffin Stone."

Kamikazan sat on his haunches and stared up at the ceiling, tapping a claw against his chin. "The MacGuffin Stone... How odd. I've never heard of such an artifact."

"It's power and legend pre-dates even you, mighty Prince," Celestia said with a slight smirk. "But those are my terms. Bring me the MacGuffin Stone, and I will date you. You will have your 'chance' to make me yours as you desire." She strained to keep her smirk despite her stomach churning at the thought, but couldn't help a slight twitch of her cheek.

Kamikazan didn't notice. He jumped upright and spread his wings, baring his teeth in a wide, rapturous grin. "Then it shall be yours, Celess! The Stone shall bless our eternal union, and the pitiful serfs that thought to keep it from you shall be ash upon the wind!"

"What? No! No, I don't want that last part!" Celestia protested. "I don't want you to kill anypony!"

"Oh." Kamikazan's posture slumped slightly, and he folded his wings again. "... What if I want to do that, though?"

"Then you'll find our romantic evenings much less romantic," Celestia drawled. "If I could acquire the Stone without harming anypony at all or seeking any outside help, I would. Unfortunately, that simply may not be possible. But you must NOT kill anypony! Especially Blood Rite! Just take the artifact and return it to me!"

"Ugh, FINE. Whatever. I can settle for a good maiming."

"Kozy..." Celestia warned, her eyes narrowing.

"What? It's the least these thieves deserve for daring to seize your property!" the dragon sauntered toward her, and then lifted a finger to Celestia's chin. "I will spare their lives as you ask, but surely you don't think they should escape penance for their crimes?"

Celestia shuddered ever so slightly at the dragon's touch. "Well, the thing is... they're not actually 'thieves' as far as I know. At no point did the MacGuffin Stone belong to me."

"Oh, Celess... so naïve, even after so long." Kamikazan chuckled and moved past her, eagerly rubbing his flank against hers as he passed. "We are the immortal royals! The rulers of this world! ALL its treasures belong to us, and the peasants scrounging in the soil for shiny objects possess them only so long as we will it."

Celestia sighed in exasperation once the Prince of Dragons wasn't touching her anymore. "I don't believe that, as convenient as the arrangement would be. The MacGuffin Stone is a threat to me and my kingdom. That's why it must be secured, and if possible, destroyed."

"As you wish, my love! I will return soon with the artifact, and then we shall be united!" shouted Kamikazan, vaulting into the cool night air. An aura of swirling flame engulfed him as he soared, burning away at his half-pony hybrid body. A cyclone of smoke obscured him, and then the body of a mighty red dragon erupted from the cloud. The mighty serpent twisted its head back to face the cave, grinned, and then flew away.

Celestia watched him go, feeling a sense of deep unease growing in the pit of her stomach. Kamikazan was powerful and was quite intelligent when it came to certain subjects, particularly magic. But the Prince was also reckless, dull-witted, and short-tempered. If he found Blood Rite, it was hard to imagine any eventuality besides all-out combat and a brutal demise for the loser. Objectively, that was convenient for Celestia; Blood Rite was a devoted enemy and Kamikazan was a dangerous, violently obsessed maniac. Either of them would only cause harm if allowed to roam free. But the thought of either of them dying because she had set them against each other made her feel ill.

"... How have things fallen so far from my control?" the alicorn mumbled sadly. "So much damage has already been done. So many lives have already been ruined. And now..." She shook her head. "I need to get to bed. I doubt I'll be sleeping well tonight as it is."

"... of course, Trixie knew what Sparkle's ploy was, but finally decided that things had gone far enough. Every moment Trixie could feel the Alicorn Amulet's power clawing against her mind, struggling to overcome Trixie's incredible willpower. While Twilight Sparkle showed off her parlor tricks in a hopeless effort to humiliate Trixie, an entire other battle – far greater and desperate than Sparkle could even imagine – took place over Trixie's very SOUL!"

Trixie was standing atop a pegasus statue overlooking the interior pond, her horn sparking and her hooves gesturing wildly with every sentence. A heavy flush darkened her cheeks, undoubtedly related to the half-empty glass of brandy that quivered unsteadily in the air next to her. Sitting on the cushion below, Prince Blueblood watched with rapt attention.

"At last, Trixie had enough and cast off the Alicorn Amulet. REFUSING to sacrifice her sanity for the sake of victory, Trixie conceded defeat to that dumb purp-that is… Twilight Sparkle. Even though Trixie totally, definitely could have defeated her, Trixie would not let her lesson about humility turn around and doom her instead! That would have been ironic." The glass wobbled through the air, and Trixie tilted her head back to gulp it down.

"Incredible! I'd never heard of such a thing! No wonder Princess Sparkle finds herself outwitted by common hoodlums. The sheer hubris of some ponies..." Blueblood said, sounding rather breathless. His cheeks were flushed as well, and his empty glass lay on its side on the floor. The Prince had drunk himself past the point of being able to properly levitate anything, largely thanks to all the alcohol he had imbibed at the Mayor's house.

The stallion's eyes darted to the wall. A towering grandfather clock was set into a stone carving of a unicorn soldier, and the hour hand was ticking toward ten. Sunset had passed, and he and his guest had put a respectable dent in the estate's liquor supply. It was time to close the deal.

"Miss Trixie," Blueblood said, straightening and clearing his throat, "it seems it's getting late, and the drink is beginning to take its toll. It would be my honor and privilege if you would accompany me to my bed chambers."

Trixie didn't respond right away. She stared at her empty liquor glass, spinning it around with her magic and watching the sparks of pink float away. Her disinterest was obvious, but she didn't refuse the request outright.

"... It's too stuffy in here," she said suddenly, placing the glass down on the floor. She hopped down from the statue, managing to only stumble slightly on her landing. "Trixie needs some air."

She trotted past Blueblood - ignoring his slightly dazed expression - and opened the doors that led out to the main balcony. Immediately a rush of cool air rushed past her, and the magician sighed pleasantly. Then she walked outside.

Blueblood didn't wait long before following her out. "I have been all over the kingdom, from the largest cities to the most wretched frontiers, and I've never met a pony like you, Trixie."

Trixie reached the banister and sat down on her haunches. "Surely you say that to all the mares you lure to your manor, Prince."

"Of course," the stallion chuckled. "But I so rarely mean it."

He stepped up next to her and nuzzled her neck. Trixie felt a tingle run up her spine. The contact felt good, and she felt the first stirrings of physical, carnal excitement.

But again, she hesitated.

"Trixie is flattered, Prince Blueblood. But Trixie will have to decline. Trixie just isn't interested in a short, meaningless fling right now," she said firmly.

Blueblood recoiled slightly, but he didn't seem upset. He stepped away and placed a hoof to his chest. "And what if it wasn't a short, meaningless fling?"

One of Trixie's eyebrows slowly climbed into an arch. "... Unless you're proposing to Trixie, Trixie isn't sure where you're going with this."

The royal unicorn laughed. "Ha! No, no! Not yet, surely!" He calmed down and sidled up to Trixie again. "Although I confess I'm somewhat intrigued at the prospect, we needn't move quite THAT fast. I simply want you to stay with me a while. Not just for tonight. Weeks. Months, perhaps. Longer, if we want. And if this spark persists then, maybe, one day..." he let his words trail off, flashing a drunken smile.

"Spark, huh? Trixie is... skeptical," she drawled. "You won't be here for long, will you? What is Trixie supposed to do, follow you back to Canterlot? To live in the city at your beck and call like a mere concubine? Pfeh! Trixie isn't interested."

Blueblood sat down next to the mare, leaning against her and relishing the feel of their fur brushing together. "You need a home of your own? A career? I can supply all of it. Don't like Canterlot? You don't even have to live there. You can live here instead."

Trixie blinked. "Here? What, like in this manor?"

"Yes! Or... Or, if you don't want to..." he stumbled over his words slightly, his snowy white face flushing a deeper shade of pink. "MAYOR! I'll make you Mayor!"

Trixie's eyes widened.

"Yes, that's it! I'll make you the Mayor of Fillydelphia!" Blueblood looked extremely pleased at this decision, puffing himself up and beckoning to the city below. "As the highest royal official present at the time that the mayoralty is vacated, I can appoint Robber Baron's replacement! You can live here, in the Mayor's estate, and run the town as you wish! All I ask of you is a liaison, my dear Trixie. I assure you, you will NOT regret it!"

"You're drunk," Trixie retorted flatly.

"Obviously," Blueblood chuckled, drawing a hoof over her shoulder. "And why should that matter? I assure you, I won't regret a thing either! For a mare like you, a township appointment is nothing!"

Trixie's cheeks were flushed again, and she looked away from the Prince. The compliment seemed heartfelt, and she obviously agreed with it; frankly, she felt stallions SHOULD be constantly flinging themselves at her and desperately begging and bribing for her affection. And yet... she felt unsatisfied. Unimpressed. A little annoyed, even.

"Trixie isn't sure the town would agree it's nothing. This seems like a poor way to make such a decision. Trixie has seen what happens to towns with bad Mayors."

"I am entirely confident that a mare of your class and intellect would make an excellent administrator," Blueblood said solemnly. Then he turned around to face Trixie. "But please, let's dispense with such dishonest tripe. I don't care about the mayorship. I want you, Miss Trixie, and if I can use my power as a scion of the royal family to sway you, I will not hesitate."

He cupped a hoof under Trixie's chin. "Is that not how it should be? The mighty royal lavishing his mate with gifts and privilege? Honor me with your affections, Miss Trixie, and I shall honor you as only the highest of nobility can."

Still Trixie hesitated, looking away and chewing her lip. Blueblood waited several seconds in silence, and then backed away to the railing of the balcony. He pivoted and reared up onto the railing to point a single foreleg down to the web of glittering lights below, twisting his neck such that his eyes never left Trixie's.

"All of this will be your fiefdom, Miss Trixie! And that, that shall be your palace! Whether it be leisure, power, wealth, or the simple freedom to live as you see fit and leave when you wish, you will want for nothing! I can deliver it all to you, for a single night of passion!"

Trixie hesitantly stepped over to the railing, staring down at the place where Blueblood was pointing to. He was gesturing without looking, knowing the exact placement of the property, but it was quite easy for her to spot too despite the nighttime gloom. Mostly due to the many tiny, flickering fires and the column of smoke rising from the property.

"... Trixie's palace seems to be a burnt-out husk," she said flatly.

Blueblood snapped his head around, and his eyes bulged at she stared down at the property in question. "What?! But we were just... Earlier, it was... The Royal Guard! Where was the Royal Guard?! How did this happen?!" he stuttered, his anger slowly overcoming his shock and inebriation.

He leaned further over the railing to get a better look. The small, numerous lights were not from scattered conflagrations, but were in fact being held by the various guards, firefighters, and party guests that were observing the accident. The main blaze had already been defeated, mercifully, although it was clear even from this distance that the Mayor's house had been completely gutted in the meantime.

Once the Prince stopped sputtering in shock, he heard the sound of muffled giggling coming from behind him. He turned around, and then saw Trixie struggling to restrain laughter with a hoof against her mouth.

"Trixie really should have expected this. As if he can be left alone for more than an hour on his own."

She smiled warmly despite her words, and generally seemed far more relaxed than he had a minute ago. Blueblood was more confused than ever, not least because she didn’t seem at all put off by the destruction of the property he was offering her. The mood was completely shattered, and yet his guest seemed... if not pleased, then amused? It made no sense.

"I don't understand. Who's 'he'? Did you have a date to ball? Do you know what happened?" Blueblood asked, swaying slightly.

"Trixie has a theory. But never mind that. It's getting late, after all, and Trixie must really be going. You have Trixie's gratitude for the drink and conversation, Prince Blueblood, but Trixie shall decline your earlier proposition."

"I... that... but..." Blueblood shook his head. "Wait! Hold on! My mayorship offer still stands! The house is nothing; we can have it rebuilt in a few weeks! I'll expense the royal treasury! It's a trifle!"

"Trixie doesn't doubt it," the magician replied, walking toward him, "but Trixie simply has better things to do. Have a lovely night, Prince."

Once she was close enough, she leaned forward and gave the stallion a peck on the nose. Blueblood's ears perked up instantly, and the royal unicorn spent a few seconds in stunned surprise before it occurred to him to lunge forward for a properly passionate kiss. By that time Trixie had already turned around, and he barely stopped himself from blundering right into her backside.

"You... You don't know what you're missing!" Blueblood shouted drunkenly. "To even have a chance at having a royal partner is the opportunity of a lifetime!"

"Meh." Trixie trotted back toward the villa.

"Money and esteem! Power and love! So much could be yours, and so easily!"

"And it surely will someday, because Trixie is great and powerful and deserves those things," Trixie retorted just as she stepped through the sliding glass door, "but thanks anyway, Prince Blueblood. Goodbye." Her horn flashed, and the door slid shut behind her.

Several minutes later Trixie exited the main gate around the royal estate. Her dress was neatly folded and sat on her back. Wearing it would have made for an unpleasant hike down the mountain, and it wasn't as if the sheer, silvery fabric would have made much difference against the late night chill.

Trixie hardly made it a dozen steps down the road before she heard a scraping noise above her and to the side. Her ear twitched, and she stopped walking.

"You know Ranma, you may have embarrassed Trixie, sent Trixie away with a complete sleazeball of a stallion, and even set another building on fire, but Trixie still must admit: tonight went far better than Trixie could have possibly expected. Thank you for making it possible."

"Welcome!" The dark shape perched atop a rock outcropping above the road vanished in a blur, and then Ranma seemed to materialize next to the showmare. Apparently the martial artist had changed back to his stallion form and abandoned his dress in the process. Probably for the best, if the Mayor's party had ended as Trixie imagined it did.

Ranma took a deep breath, as if he was preparing himself for a serious exertion. "So... are you and Princey a thing now? If you are, can I have your wagon? Because I realized after you left that I have no food or money or anything else but the dumb artifact I can't use and everyone wants to kill me for. And the police around here are going to find out that I'm not Frederick Goldwhinny eventually. Kind of in a tough spot, now that I think about it."

Trixie started walking again, and the martial artist followed her. "No, we're not a thing. Trixie finds that a life of easy luxury doesn't agree with her as well as she had anticipated. It feels... too shallow, somehow. All flash and no substance."

Ranma smirked and opened his mouth.

"Shut up, Ranma," Trixie said pre-emptively.

The stallion frowned and closed his mouth.

"Trixie doesn't know where her destiny will lead her, but Trixie is definitely fated for something more meaningful than being a royal mistress. It would be a terrible letdown for Trixie's fans around the world if Trixie were tied down to a Prince's whims, no matter the perks." She paused. "It also doesn't help that you burned down one of those perks before Trixie could hope to benefit."

"Not my fault," Ranma said immediately. "Guard did it."

"Trixie believes you. And yet, this is, what, the sixth burnt-out building you've left behind you? Seventh? More?"

"It depends on whether you count the ones nobody actually lived in. I don't. Property damage doesn't count if no one owns the property! That's a rule. Oh, and Rite's tower also doesn't count because he's a bad guy. I think that keeps me down to six."

"Sure. Let's go with that."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Ranma started chewing his lip anxiously, and then eventually cleared his throat.

"So, uh... Trix? This might seem weird to say after basically setting you up with the Prince back there, but... I'm kind of... glad you two didn't work out."

Trixie tilted her head over so that Ranma could more easily see her arched eyebrow. "Oh? Go on..."

Ranma seemed uncomfortable with this topic, but he forced himself to answer. "Well, I mean... mostly because of the having no food or anywhere to go thing, but also... I really do think you can do better than a guy like that. I could tell he was a creep when he started putting the moves on me at the buffet line. He's a jerk, and he'd probably ditch you as soon as he got bored."

"Undoubtedly. But it seems Trixie got bored with him, first." She smirked. "Perhaps it reflects poorly on Trixie's choice of companions, but boredom is never a problem around you."

"Also, I'm not trying to sleep with you," Ranma pointed out helpfully.

"You'll come around," she replied.

They continued walking down the road in silence. As the minutes passed, Ranma's expression slowly shifted from neutral to thoughtful. Then from thoughtful to confused. Once he completed the transformation to worried, he turned his head toward Trixie again.

"What... What did you mean by... Are you... We're not a... I mean, I don't... uh..."

"Let it go, Ranma. It's late, Trixie is fairly drunk, and we probably need to flee the city before they properly identify 'Frederick Goldwhinny.' The break was nice, but by morning we're back on the lam." She suddenly laughed, picking up the pace down the road. "Trixie must truly be crazy to give up a future of pampered luxury to help you run from the authorities for the rest of your unfortunate life! Hah!"

"Heh. Yeah, thanks..." Ranma chuckled weakly as the unicorn passed him by. He paused only briefly, glancing back over his shoulder at the extravagant royal estate. His ears fell flat against his head, and a frown briefly crossed his face.

Then he shook his head and turned forward again, and quickly joined Trixie on the path back to town.

Author's Note

Not quite happy with this chapter. Besides it taking way too long and still being shorter than usual, I don't think I'm too good at all these "feelings" things. The writing process is just different. Sort of like, "Trixie enters mansion, later she exits mansion, try to find a way to fill the space between those two events with as many words as possible."
Well, it's back to high adventure next chapter!

Trotter's Gulch

Taming the Wild Horse

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Chapter 3

Trotter's Gulch

Twilight emerged from her bed with a groan and a weary sigh.

Her body ached, but the pain was dull and faded. Despite the extensive application of healing magic, she had spent some time with her wings and a leg in casts, and the joints were still weak. Once she was standing in the middle of her bedroom she began to stretch; legs first, one by one, then each wing. Bones popped with nauseating frequency, and fresh pain bloomed within each appendage. When she was done, however, much of it subsided.

She gave her wings a few experimental flaps, nearly lifting herself off the floor. The pain was almost gone, but Twilight still felt it would be better to stick to the ground for now. She opened her bedroom door with a flicker of magic and then descended to the first floor.

"Spike! Good morning!" Twilight chirped. "Thank you for cooking, as always!"

Spike was carrying a plate of toast to their dining table, and paused briefly to give the alicorn a thumbs-up. The table already boasted several plates of waffles, hot tea, and next to Twilight's setting was a thick book for her to read as she ate.

Twilight sat down and then looked over the title. "Beyond Friendship and Chaos, by Friedrich Neightzsche. Excellent choice, although I've read it already."

"It's pretty hard to find a book in here you haven't read," Spike said with a chuckle while taking his seat.

"I suppose so. Being immobile all day certainly boosted my reading progress!" Twilight agreed.

"Barely. I mean, you got through five a day rather than your usual four?"

"That's the mean average, and you know it!" she retorted sharply. "The mode average is far more representative of how I manage my reading time during my everyday life and other responsibilities! Use that when you make subtle criticisms of my social life!"

Spike ignored her and started eating his waffles. Twilight frowned at him, but quickly let the indignity go. She opened her book and levitated some syrup over her plate, settling back into the routine that had been so brutally interrupted by her brief encounter with Ranma Saotome.

It all seemed so bizarre and dreamlike, even though the actual pain from her capture still hadn't completely faded. The brief chase, the sudden ambush, her short talk with Blood Rite, and the explosion that had nearly put her in a coma... it had all happened so fast, and between her magical imprisonment and waking up in Canterlot's hospital she felt like her memory was spotty.

What exactly happened after her capture? She had recounted the events for Celestia during a formalized debriefing in her hospital room, and for numerous other ponies after that, but her recollection was underwhelming. She remembered conversing with Blood Rite, but the words were fuzzy. This was no doubt related to the massive explosion that had swallowed her prison and knocked her out.

She knew Blood Rite had not been captured by Equestria, but had been told little else besides that. Curiosity gnawed at her, but the young Princess had been reluctant to press for details. She was still embarrassed to have encountered Rite at all, considering that Celestia had specifically warned her to avoid him. Celestia hadn't leveled any accusations or chided her over what had happened, but the elder alicorn certainly knew she didn't have to; Twilight felt guilty enough, and the various fractures and concussions were their own punishment besides.

But Blood Rite was only one piece of the puzzle. He was an enigma that had been deliberately and forcefully obscured by Princess Celestia, and while Twilight was almost desperate to know more about him, her trust in her mentor kept that desire in check. The other big piece, however, she knew more about, and yet he seemed all the more mysterious for it.

Just what had happened to Saotome Ranma?

She dwelled on this for some time, her eyes scanning the pages of her book without really digesting the content. Her breakfast gradually disappeared down her throat, piece by piece. Soon the plate was empty, and Spike took it away. Twilight remained in her seat, levitating one page back after another, her mind occupied elsewhere.

A knock came at the door.

"Rainbow Dash! Applejack! Hello!" Twilight was quite pleased to see two of her friends waiting outside. Applejack was wearing a pair of saddlebags with some papers stuffed in it, while Rainbow Dash was hovering overhead with a solemn expression.

"Hiya, Twi! How ya feelin' this mornin'?" Applejack asked.

"Your wings okay? Are you exercising them every day?" Rainbow Dash added, dipping in through the front entrance to get a closer look.

"My wings are recovering just fine," Twilight said wryly. "But I'm going easy on them for now."

"That's no good, Twi! You've gotta work them out!" Rainbow gave a few hard flaps for emphasis, bounding up higher before dropping back down to a low hover. "Trust me on this one! I've had plenty of wing injuries! You have to put a little strain on them if you want to get back in the air again!"

"The difference being that I'm not in a hurry to get back in the air again," Twilight reminded the racer. "I lived most of my life on the ground, and I'm perfectly happy here for now. But thanks, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow made an exasperated face while Applejack chuckled. "Well, it's good t'hear yer comin' along. But we ain't just here fer a social visit."

"Oh? What's going on?"

Applejack and Rainbow shared a glance, the farmer looking up over Twilight's head. Rainbow Dash nodded.

"Okay, so, you remember a few weeks ago when you blew up that drifter pony?" Rainbow asked.

"ON ACCIDENT," Twilight said immediately. Then she cleared her throat and backed up a few steps to let Applejack inside. "Anyway, yes, I remember. What about Saotome Ranma?"

"Looks like Mister Sow-toh-may got himself into a spot o' trouble," Applejack said, her tone grim. "Ah don' know if ya had an inklin' of what kinda varmint ya were dealin' with when ya blasted 'im, but seems that this guy's a real bad apple."

"What? What are you talking about?" Twilight asked, frowning.

"Ah was makin' a delivery outta town and happened t'see this thing while droppin' off mah wares. Take a look." She nosed around in her saddlebag for a moment, and then Applejack turned back toward Twilight with a sheet of parchment clenched in her teeth.

Twilight's eyes went wide. "That's... That's him! On a bounty notice?! Dead or alive?! 20,000 bit reward?!" She was about to move to the section of the poster that detailed his crimes, but she couldn't help but notice that the name was different from what she had expected. "Wait, Havoc? Who's 'Havoc?' His name is Saotome!"

"Maybe that's too hard to spell?" Rainbow ventured.

"Or some kinda code name?" Applejack guessed. "I dunno, but I kinda like the name Havoc. Feels appropriate after what the varmint did to mah orchard."

"The dragonspawn wrecked your orchard, not Ranma!" Twilight protested.

"Havoc. His name is Havoc now," Rainbow Dash said, wagging a hoof at the Princess.

Spike poked his head out of the kitchen.

"No, his name is Saotome Ranma," Twilight said firmly. "This has to be some kind of mistake. It says here that he attacked a Princess! He SAVED Princess Luna's life, he didn't attack her! This must have been what he was talking about when he complained about being framed!"

"Wait, really? He was framed? Or is it that there's a real criminal who just looks like him?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes, maybe that's it." Twilight nodded. "It would explain why they have the wrong name, too. This 'Havoc' must be a completely different pony. Probably with some association with Blood Rite, judging by all the treason and rebellion charges. Ranma has nothing to do with that."

"Nah. It's him."

The three mares did a double-take, and then they whirled around. Spike was standing next to the kitchen entrance while drying a plate with a towel.

"What? What do you mean?" Twilight asked, looking halfway between offended and afraid.

"Ranma and Havoc are the same pony," Spike said bluntly. "Trixie came up with a different name for him because she thought his real name was dumb."

"Trixie? What's that annoyin' grifter got t'do with this?" Applejack asked, her brow furrowing.

"He's traveling with Trixie now. They're like an adventuring team or something. I dunno." Spike shrugged.

"Huh. Well, she has a point. His real name IS dumb," Rainbow agreed solemnly.

"It's a foreign name, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight chided. "It's not 'dumb,' it's just different! Don't be insensitive!"

"Yeah, well, Trixie calls him Havoc and the pegasus version Calamity. And then when something goes wrong, they pin the crimes on Havoc and Calamity and pretend that Ranma is a different pony. That's why the authorities don't have his real name, and are confused about who did what." Spike finished drying the plate and briefly re-entered the kitchen to fetch another one.

"Pegasus 'version?' Whaddya mean by 'version?'" Applejack asked, scratching her head.

"He's talking about Saotome's other body," Twilight said, sounding distracted.

"Other... body? What?"

"He has a magic condition."

"The allergy?"

"Okay, so he has MULTIPLE magic conditions. Anyway, he changes from an earth pony stallion to a pegasus mare with exposure to water of varying temperatures." Twilight tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes in thought.

"He changes bodies?" Applejack looked suspicious. "We sure this varmint ain't a changeling?"

"He isn't a changeling." Spike returned from the kitchen while drying a water glass. "He can only change into a pegasus, nothing else. And it isn't like a deliberate thing." Spike held up the glass to check it for spots. "He sometimes uses it like a changeling to disguise himself, though. He spends a lot of time trying to avoid arrest."

Twilight slumped onto her rear and started rubbing her head.

"Okay, hold on, I'm confused." Rainbow Dash pointed to Spike. "Level with me, here: is Saotome a good guy or a bad guy?"

"Oh, he's definitely a good guy!" Spike said, satisfied that the glass was clean. "Anything that says he was working for Blood Rite is wrong. Mostly."

"Mostly?!" Applejack asked incredulously.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Well, it's complicated. But Dash asked me to level with you, so there you go: he's a good guy who wants to stop Rite from doing whatever mysterious evil thing it is Rite wants to do." He pointed a claw at Twilight. "He was REALLY upset when he found out you were captured. In fact, I'm like ninety percent sure he was the one who rescued you from Blood Rite and brought you back to Coltson where the Princesses found you. That was why he was hanging out with Swan Song back there; it was part of a big plan to trick her into leading us to you." He stopped and scratched the back of his head. "I'm not COMPLETELY sure how that turned out, though, because I kind of screwed up my part of the plan and got swept up by the Royal Guard. Still, I'm positive that the Princesses didn't rescue you, and I seriously doubt it was Trixie."

Twilight's jaw fell open, and her eye started to twitch.

"Holy hailstones! Then this guy is a hero and he's being hunted like a criminal!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah. I mean... mostly." Spike grimaced. "I'm also pretty sure he did do some of the stuff he's accused of. So, you know... Like I said. Complicated."

Spike turned around to return the glass to the kitchen, only to be suddenly surrounded by a purple aura of magic. The glass slipped from his hand and floated onto the table, while the young dragon was spun around to face Twilight.

"Spike, how do you know all this?!" Twilight demanded.

"I know all this because I was there," Spike deadpanned. "Ranma and Trixie looked after me after you were captured and Princess Luna bolted. Mostly Ranma, since Trixie kept trying to ditch me."

Twilight was stunned speechless for a few seconds. "... And WHY haven't you told me any of this before now?!"

"Because when you were finally discharged from the hospital and came home, you told me you didn't want to talk about Coltson or your getting captured," Spike answered calmly.

Twilight's cheeks darkened, and she winced. The magical aura around Spike broke, and the dragon picked up the clean glass again to return it to the kitchen.

Twilight remained silent for a few seconds, her ears pinned and her face burning while Applejack and Rainbow Dash stared.

"I... did actually say that," Twilight admitted with a slight squeak. "In my defense, I spent all of my last week in the hospital being questioning and interviewed about the whole ordeal even though I hardly remembered anything."

"Ah see," Applejack mumbled. She looked down at the bounty poster and chewed her lip. "Well, Ah guess we know better now. That's an awful shame." She started rolling up the poster to put it back in her saddlebag.

"Wait! We have to do something about this!" Twilight insisted, jumping around. "Saotome is being hunted down and-"

Spike suddenly poked his head back out. "Also, just so you know: Ranma is his given name. He introduces himself backwards, for some reason. Maybe it's a human thing." He went back to the dishes.

"... Yes. Right. Ranma is being hunted down and persecuted for several crimes he didn't commit." Twilight shook her head. "Even if some of these accusations have some truth to them, others are an outright fabrication, and yet others may be misunderstandings taken out of context! We have to contact the authorities and explain!"

"Tried that! They didn't believe me!" Spike shouted.

Twilight deflated instantly. "Oh, for pony's sake..."

"Well, we could try again anyway. Maybe they'd believe it coming from a Princess?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"A Princess with little to no information besides the source they already dismissed," Twilight grumbled. Then she magically levitated the bounty poster into the air again and opened it. "But then again... There's no way some of these charges should be valid. Attacking Princess Luna, at the very least, is ridiculous. She was VERY clear that Ranma saved her from the rebels."

She rolled up the poster in the air, and a determined expression crossed her face. "I have to at least try to help fix this."

"Good luck!" Spike shouted from the kitchen. "I'm tired of having soldiers making fun of me, so I'll stay here this time."

"Yes, fine," Twilight grumbled. "Rainbow, Applejack, can you come with me?"

"Sure thing, sugarcube," Applejack said with a grin. "With mah delivery outta the way, Ah've got most of the day free anyhow."

"Count me in!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "I don't know much about this Ranma guy except that he took on the dragon thing and you blew him up that one time, but if Spike vouches for him that's good enough for me!"

"Thanks, girls! Let's catch the late morning train to Canterlot and check with the dispatch office!" Twilight opened the front door again. "Oh, and... Rainbow, could you... not bring up that explosion thing anymore? Please?"

"Ha! No."

Trixie frowned while she pored over several papers laid out under her forelegs. Her quill hovered in the air nearby, and a small pot of ink sat atop a pillow in order to muffle the vibrations underneath it. A sack of bits sat on the other side of the papers, and were given no such protection; the coins inside quivered and freely clinked together as the wagon's wheels rattled them.

Once again, the magician was looking over her accounts. And once again, she was finding herself deeply concerned about her cash flow.

Which wasn't to say that she didn't have enough money. Far from it; Trixie was firmly in the black and still had a decent emergency reserve of funds, even after she and Ranma had splashed out for new dresses in Fillydelphia. Ranma had completely covered for her regular show earnings with his appropriations from enemies that kept attacking them. He apparently even managed to "rescue" (his word) several dishes from the buffet after the mayor's party had turned into a conflagration, which kept him away from her food stocks for a grand total of two whole meals.

And that was more or less the problem Trixie was considering at the moment. All of her recent funds and her savings from "free supplies" had basically come from Ranma. His penchant for attracting unsympathetic scoundrels with money, combined with his talent for beating them to a pulp, had kept the two of them afloat even while it had prevented Trixie from putting on any shows and making any money herself.

This was a problem. Not just because it was a legally dubious source of income, but because it was an unreliable, inconstant source of income that directly interfered with her primary trade. The more trouble Ranma fought off, the more likely it was that they would be driven out of every given town before she could so much as put up a puppet stage. Hopefully Ranma's new disguise would help with that, but Trixie wasn't expecting miracles; not a single pony in Fillydelphia had successfully identified "Havoc" and they still ended up departing in the middle of the night to evade capture.

Besides that, Trixie was concerned that she was starting to get used to making a living primarily through what she had wryly termed "reverse banditry." She caught herself frowning in disappointment sometimes when bounty hunters didn't have much money on them, and she often thought back to Blood Rite's tower and wondered how much treasure and supplies had been wastefully destroyed because of Swan Song's sudden tantrum. It only really occurred to her when she was budgeting her finances how bizarre it was to think of the detonation of somepony else's home as "lost earnings."

Trixie had a solution, though: if she had her old, larger wagon back, which had a built-in stage and living space, then she could easily and instantly set up a show anywhere at any time. Her stage wagon had been excellent at drawing curious crowds and allowed her to forgo arranging presentations and lodging inside the towns she visited. Not to mention the obvious advantages of storage and interior living space.

The problem was, of course, that such a wagon would be very expensive. As extensively talented as she was, Trixie didn't do carpentry or construction. And while Ranma's fighting was surprisingly lucrative, his eating habits and disruption to her shows made it hard to save. Trixie would need a plan to come up with a lot of money quickly.

"Of course, if it were that easy, Trixie wouldn't be worried about money in the first place," the magician grumbled.

The wagon suddenly stopped. "... Trix?"

"Never mind, Ranma. Trixie was just talking to herself," the unicorn answered.

"Not that! Duck!"

Ranma leapt forward, twisting free of the harness that secured him to the wagon. Trixie heeded the stallion's warning, falling flat and covering her head.

A moment later the heavy THUNK of crossbow bolts striking wood shook the wagon. One bolt missed the side and sailed over Trixie, knocking off her star-patterned hat. Shouting came from the side of the road, and Trixie heard the sound of hooves pounding against the ground.

"Give up, Havoc! Your bounty is ours!"

Trixie peeked up over the side of her wagon. There were several armed ponies charging from the trees, plus a minotaur wielding a battleaxe. She touched a hoof to the gemstone clasp securing her cape, and a pulse of heat washed over her chest. Within the fake casing, the Alchemist's Heart started feeding magical energy through Trixie's natural aura, and her horn's glow shifted from bright pink to fiery crimson.

"Well, what do you know?" the magician sniffed. "More income."

Speedy Snaps heard the bell ring on the front door, and her ears perked up.

"Just a minute, please!" she sang, still facing away from the front counter. She was sorting papers with her wings, clutching one memo after another between her primary feathers before slipping them into place among the greater stack. Once all the papers were in place, she pushed the stack under a large stapler and slammed a hoof down onto the top.

"There!" The bounty office's administrator pushed aside the papers, and then rapidly whirled around. "How can I hellllllp... you?"

Her voice trailed off awkwardly as she immediately recognized the three ponies standing just inside her office. Not that she had ever met them before, but there were few ponies in Canterlot who couldn't recognize the Elements of Harmony. Three of the six mares were currently standing in front of her desk, each of them wearing very serious and generally displeased expressions.

"P-Princess Twilight Sparkle! H-Hi!" Speedy said, suddenly overcome with nervousness. She couldn't imagine why the Element of Magic wanted to see her, but she had a feeling the youngest of the alicorn Princesses wasn't here to collect a bounty. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Maybe. I have a problem, and I believe the problem originated here," Twilight said evenly. Ranma's bounty poster was rolled up and levitating over her head in a shroud of purple magic, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack flanked her as if they were trying to keep the administrator from escaping the room.

Speedy glanced up to the paper in the grip of Twilight's telekinesis. "Is that a bounty poster?" She guessed.

"Yes, it is. And I believe it's wrong."

Speedy nodded solemnly. "I see. It's not unheard of for ponies to create fake bounty posters in order to get hunters to target innocent ponies. Let me see it."

"Here." Twilight moved the poster to the desk, and then unrolled it with her magic. "I don't have any reason to believe this isn't official, but it IS incorrect."

Speedy Snaps recognized the poster immediately, and she clicked her tongue. "Ah! I see the problem. This poster is old. Thanks for bringing it in; the guard posts don't always update them regularly when we get new information and issue replacements."

"Ah ha! I knew it!" Twilight sounded triumphant for a moment, and then looked concerned. "But he still has a bounty on his head?"

"Well, of course." Speedy turned the poster around to face her, and then took up her quill between her teeth.

"Spike did say he wasn't completely innocent," Applejack reminded Twilight.

"Let's see what he's still accused of and then work from there," Rainbow Dash suggested.

Speedy dipped her quill in the ink pot at the edge of her desk.

Then she drew an extra zero onto the reward total.

Then she crossed out the "or alive" portion of "dead or alive."

Then she turned it back around and pushed the poster back to Twilight. "There you go. You can put it back up now, or keep it for your own use."

Twilight's jaw fell slack. Rainbow Dash sucked in a breath through her teeth. Applejack whistled.

"200,000 bits! That's some kinda payday, all right!" the farmer mused aloud.

"The-Thi-Tha-" Twilight shook her head to clear it, and then stepped closer to the desk. "No! This is still wrong! This is all a terrible mistake!"

Speedy Snaps arched an eyebrow. "Well, technically I should have added all the other crimes he did at the bottom; that poster only has about a third of the current standing charges against him. But that would take too long, and the bounty hunters don't really care about that part anyway."

"I didn't know bounties that didn't accept live prisoners was a thing," Rainbow mumbled, looking fairly perturbed.

"Neither did I, actually!" Speedy chuckled. "The last few weeks have been full of surprises!"

"Well, hay, now I kinda wanna know what the other crimes were," Applejack said. "What kinda bedlam do ya gotta cause to get a price like that on yer head?"

"You have to attack an Equestrian Princess, assist in the abduction of a DIFFERENT Equestrian Princess, and somewhere along the way beat up and rob an Equestrian General," Speedy chuckled. "As an aside, I'm glad you escaped from the rebels, Princess. Close one!"

"But that's not true!" Twilight blurted. "He didn't do any of those things!"

Speedy Snaps recoiled in surprise. "He didn't beat up General Firebrand?"

"No! He..." Twilight's jaw open and closed wordlessly for a moment, and then she released a frustrated sigh. "Well, I don't actually know about that one. Maybe! But he never attacked Princess Luna and he definitely didn't assist in my capture!"

"Huh... Really?" Speedy rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"I mean, if you want to get ABSOLUTELY TECHNICAL, he did attack Princess Luna," Twilight continued. "But it was a duel, so it absolutely shouldn't count as a case of assault!"

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Ain't duels illegal too?"

"Yes. But she declared it, so..." Twilight trailed off. "... So that might... affect the judgment? I'm not actually familiar with this area of law."

"I am, and it's actually NOT okay to hit a Princess even if she invites you to do it somehow," Speedy interjected with a shrug. "But really, the details would be for the magistrate and barrister to hash out. You know, assuming the hunters delivered the suspect and not the suspect's corpse." She stopped and scrawled down some notes on a piece of paper. "Now, you say that he didn't assist in your capture?"

"He didn't. That I am absolutely sure of. One-hundred percent," the purple mare said firmly.

"Okay. I'll probably need a sta-"

"I mean, he didn't do it DELIBERATELY," Twilight continued. "Arguably you could say that his duel with Princess Luna DID draw all of us apart at a critical-"

Rainbow Dash suddenly slapped her hoof around Twilight's mouth, sealing it closed. "Don't mind her, she babbles sometimes. We'd like to stick with 'One-hundred percent,' please."

Speedy Snaps took a few more notes, and then dropped the quill from her mouth with a sigh. "Look, Princess, I'm not sure what exactly you're trying to accomplish here, but from the sound of things this stallion has a lot to answer for. I can make a case that we should allow for his live capture again, but I'm not seeing much scope for reducing his charges on your say-so."

Twilight's ears drooped in disappointment. Applejack shook her head sadly.

Rainbow Dash scowled. "Ponyfeathers! I figured a Princess could just march in here, tell you to drop the charges, and you'd have to do it."

"Rainbow! That is NOT how being a Princess works!" Twilight grumbled.

"Actually, yes, that's exactly how it works," Speedy corrected. The other three mares stumbled in surprise. "Or, rather, that's how it WOULD work... but this bounty initially came from Princess Luna. Princess seniority is a thing, I'm afraid."

"It IS?" Applejack asked, perplexed.

"I'm learning so much today," Rainbow Dash mumbled.

Twilight shook her head. "That means Princess Luna didn't lift the bounty even after she found out about it! He told her back before their fight! I can't believe everypony was just so panicked by my capture that they completely ignored this!" She felt like bashing her head against a wall. "How did this even happen? The only time he ever hurt her was when SHE started a fight with HIM!"

"Well, that's kind of a funny story, actually," Speedy chuckled. "Initially, he had a minimal bounty seeking live capture just for questioning. That's the bounty that came directly from Princess Luna. Then the Lunar Guard pinned the Princess Assault charges to him; oddly enough, without any sort of statement from the Princesses themselves. After a few days in distribution, suddenly all sorts of crimes started coming in to be added to his suspect profile. We've had to start attaching secondary posters to the main posters just so we can list everything! Like I said, I think it really doesn't matter since the hunters don't care, but that's standard procedure..."

"This is hopeless," Twilight groaned. "This pony doesn't deserve this! He's lost and confused, and he's been attacked constantly since he set foot in Equestria!"

"None of that necessarily makes the criminal charges against him untrue or invalid," Speedy pointed out gingerly.

Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side, and then suddenly brightened. "Well, nothing for it, then! C'mon, let's go." She suddenly pushed Twilight toward the exit, waving her wing toward the administrator. "Thanks for your help! See you later!"

"Wait! Rainbow! We still might-" Twilight started to protest as she stumbled out the door, but Rainbow shushed her before successfully shoving her outside.

Applejack looked suspicious, but gave a brief nod to Speedy Snaps before she too exited the building. The farmer caught the door with her back leg and closed it firmly on her way out.

"Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?" Twilight asked. "We still might be able to help! If we can get a magistrate to accept that there may be extenuating circumstances-"

"Twi, you're thinking about this the wrong way," Rainbow snickered. "The law thinks Ranma is bad. But we KNOW Ranma is good! All these silly posters and lawyers are just muddling the issue!"

"What good does knowin' that do if we can't get the lawpone off his case?" Applejack drawled.

"Yes! Exactly!" Twilight agreed.

"Because a Princess's word is worth more than a lawpone's!" Rainbow said.

"But it's Twi's word against Luna's," Applejack pointed out. "Fer some reason..."

"Okay, wait... I think I see Dash's point." Twilight nodded thoughtfully. "If we speak to Luna, we can get her involved and she can dismiss the charges personally! The ones related to harming me and her, at least!"

"Yeah, we could, but that would take all day. She's not even up right now," Rainbow Dash scoffed. "You need to think bigger. 'Princess seniority' is a thing, remember?"

"You mean... ask Princess Celestia to dispute the charges?"

"Forget 'dispute.' Tell Princess Celestia this guy saved your flank and he's been wrongfully accused, so he should get a full pardon. Just wipe the slate clean!" the pegasus grinned, floating over the other mares and swiping her leg sharply to the side.

"What about all the shady stuff he mighta actually done?" Applejack asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Who cares? He saved Twilight's life!" Rainbow countered.

"Probably," the farmer corrected.

"VERY probably! Ninety percent probably!"

"Ya know Ah ain't callin' Spike a liar, but Ah dunno about this, RD," Applejack said sourly, sitting down. "The only time Ah met Havoc was after he knocked over a dozen apple trees, and just a'fore he led a dragonspawn into my orchard to tear it up. He don't seem like no knight in shining barding t'me."

"But that's exactly the point!" Twilight interjected, setting her jaw. "From your perspective, it seemed like he just tore through your property like a whirlwind! Especially the part where he literally tore through your property with a whirlwind. But he wasn't really to blame for any of that! My spell is what ultimately sent him into your orchard, which is why the dragonspawn was drawn there. And because I screwed up getting him to safety, he had no choice but to fight it using any means necessary!"

The alicorn shook her head. "Rainbow Dash is right. Until we have reliable information to the contrary, we should presume innocence and plead his case on that basis! Let's go see the Princess."

"YES! Loyalty beats Honesty once again!" Rainbow Dash cheered, pumping a foreleg into the air. Applejack scowled up at her, and Twilight winced. "Let's go get that pardon!"

"... Forty-three, forty-four, and that makes forty-five!"

One coin after another dropped into a small sack of golden bits, arcing over the side of the wagon on trails of pink magic. Trixie counted each one, and then a floating quill briefly noted the total amount on the accounting notes she had been perusing before she had been attacked.

The unicorn pouted. "Is that all? This is barely ration money! And none of you even look like you have any gear worth pawning! This is just embarrassing!"

Trixie turned toward a line of six ponies lying on the ground behind her. Every one of them was injured to one degree or another, sporting an array of black eyes, scorched fur, chipped teeth, and swollen lumps on the head. Two of them were simply unconscious, and had been laid down next to the others out of mere convenience. Those that weren't comatose quivered in pain and terror, staring up at the unicorn mare like one would regard a bloodthirsty chimera or enraged dragon.

"What were you idiots thinking? Did you seriously think scrubs like yourselves could take Trixie down so easily? Do you have any idea who we are?!" Trixie shouted, glaring down at the brutalized bounty hunters.

One of the mares sniffled fearfully, and then pointed a trembling hoof off to the side. "We... We, uh... We know who HE is..."

Some distance away from the other ponies, Ranma was inspecting the unconscious minotaur that apparently acted as the bounty hunting squad's shock trooper. The beast's face had been mashed against a tree, and one of his horns was driven deeply enough into the trunk that it held the rest of his body up while Ranma patted down his pockets.

Trixie scowled. "Of course, you're here for the big payout. Trixie supposes that's to be expected, and since Trixie has no bounty - being a loyal and law-abiding citizen of Equestria - you wouldn't recognize just how far in over your heads you were."

One of the stallions tilted his head to the side. "What's a loyal and law-abiding citizen doing traveling with the biggest single criminal bounty in Equestria?"

Trixie remained silent as her horn flashed. The nearby pile of weapons that had been taken from the hunters trembled, and a short sword floated into the air.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I take it back! Forget I said anything!" the stallion wailed, clamping his hooves over his eyes and breaking down into sobs. "Please, don't kill me! I have nothing left after this! Just leave me with my life, I'm begging you!"

"Oh, stop your whining," Trixie snapped. The stallion silenced himself with a squeak. "Trixie isn't going to kill any of you."

The blade hovered in front of her at nose level, and Trixie narrowed her eyes. The sword was cheap iron, poorly tempered, and had chips and rust on its edge. It was a weapon more appropriate for a rogue than a bounty hunter, probably scavenged from a junk pile or a battlefield. The crossbows were in slightly better condition, but had clearly seen heavy use; and judging by the poor aim and reloading proficiency of the ponies in front of Trixie, the heavy use hadn't come from them.

Their cutie marks confirmed Trixie's suspicions. There were flowers, bread, and one even had an iron ingot on their rear, but not a one featured a weapon, shackles, or anything that brought to mind the violent trade of subduing criminals for cash rewards.

"You idiots aren't even bounty hunters, are you?" Trixie asked.

The mare pursed her lips. "Well... we came here with the express purpose of capturing a pony for the goal of redeeming a bounty, so technic-"

The flat of the blade Trixie was levitating smacked against her head, and she yelped in pain before she started crying again.

"Okay! No! We're not really bounty hunters! I'm sorry! Please don't hit me anymore!" the mare wailed, trying to cover her head with her forelegs.

"Trixie thought so. What's a bunch of tradesponies doing trying to ambush bounties? Was the payout just so big that you couldn't resist?" The blade slowly spun in the air as she interrogated the defeated equines, wavering over their heads on a bed of glittering pink.

"N-No, it's not that..."

"Well, it's KIND of like that, in that this bounty was one of the only two that was big enough and had a target that was nearby," another pony admitted. "We're trying to raise money to move away, and this is the only thing we hadn't tried. We had no choice!"

"No choice," Trixie drawled. The sword stopped spinning. "Really."

The ponies before her started whimpering in terror.

"It's the bandits! There's this bandit gang that's been plaguing all the towns in this region! That's why we're doing this!" one of them howled.

"The bandit boss Morning Star practically runs the towns around here by now! They trot through whenever they want and take nearly everything, barely leaving enough for us to survive!"

"They leave our towns destitute, so we have nothing to spare for taxes or protection! Any time anypony tries to hire a fighter or guard or mount any other kind of resistance, the bandits find out and they all swarm the village and... well... make an example of them."

"We can't take it anymore! We want to abandon the town, but we needed some money for the trip and starting over somewhere else! This bounty thing seemed like the only way for us to get lots of money all at once without facing the bandits!"

Ranma approached the group with a small coin sack sitting on his back. "This bandit boss wouldn't happen to be your mayor, would he?" The ponies looked up at him, perplexed.

"No, of course not. Although... for all intents and purposes Morning Star may as well be."

"Our ACTUAL mayor pretty much works for Morning Star. He makes excuses to Canterlot for why the town can't pay taxes and downplays the bandit problem, and Morning Star makes sure the thieves leave his house alone. It's probably the same with all the royal officials around here. Anypony who steps out of line disappears. And not quietly."

"Incidentally, the other bounty we were talking about is for Morning Star," sighed another of the amateur hunters. "But obviously, if we could take on the bandits, we would do so whether or not there was a bounty reward. That minotaur over there - an actual bounty hunter, apparently - got word that a pony fitting Havoc's description was headed this way, and we figured that we could overwhelm you with sheer numbers."

"Seven isn't a very impressive number," Ranma said blithely.

"It seemed a lot more impressive before you lodged the minotaur's head into the tree."

Trixie suddenly stabbed the floating blade into the ground, causing the injured equines to flinch back. "This is terrible!" the magician shouted, her expression enraged.

Ranma nodded solemnly. "Yeah, they look like they've had it pretty bad."

"They've had it SO bad that they barely have enough money to survive on! Which means nobody is going to shell out for a magic show!" Trixie growled. "And you're telling Trixie that this entire REGION is like that? Half a dozen villages with barely a bit to spare between them!? And we came all this way!"

A drop of sweat crawled down Ranma's head. "Uh... yeah. I guess that's a problem too."

"It's more than just a problem! Trixie was heading to this area specifically because of their isolation and poor guard presence! If we turn around we'll be heading straight into the soldiers that are looking for us and all the REAL bounty hunters sniffing around for their big score!" Trixie raged. "But if we press on it could take more than a week before we're out of the valley! And the towns and their citizens are completely destitute?! We'll be lucky enough to be able to be able to scrape together enough supplies for the trip, never mind earn any money!"

"Um... speaking of destitute villagers on their last legs," one of the amateur hunters said cautiously, "the money and weapons you took are literally all we have left aside from bandit-ravaged real estate. Any chance you could... you know... not take it from us?"

Ranma heard a snapping noise, and he sucked in some air through his teeth.

"You... dirty, incompetent, USELESS dregs!" Trixie snarled, her eyes flashing and her horn blazing with power.

Pink magic swarmed over the pile of weapons, and several of the crossbows suddenly jumped into the air and swiveled around to face the prostate ponies. The ones that were conscious yelped and squeezed together in a desperate, terrified embrace.

"A few minutes ago you would have happily taken Trixie's life without a thought, and now, after you've lost, you ask Trixie to spare your POCKETBOOKS?!" the magician snarled. "You should be thanking Trixie for letting you off with a few measely bruises after daring to pick a fight with us! Do you idiots have any idea how easily we could bury you?!"

"Whoa! Hey! Easy, Trix!" Ranma jumped in front of the enraged unicorn, pushing her back and away from the injured ponies. "It's fine! Everything's fine now!"

"It's NOT fine, you dunderhead! Weren't you listening?!" she raged.

Once Ranma was satisfied that Trixie's anger had been diverted to himself, he quickly turned to the would-be bounty hunters. "Take your friends and get out of here! Now!"

The equine villagers scrambled to their hooves, and quickly went about lifting their unconscious comrades onto their backs to carry them. Within seconds they were galloping away, having left their bounty target - and their minotaur "leader" - behind in the dust.

Trixie glared at Ranma, silently fuming. The martial artist stared back at her, braced to receive whatever vented abuse the unicorn had in store for him.

Instead, Trixie released her levitation magic. The weapons dropped back into their pile, and she sighed irritably. Then she turned around and trudged back to the wagon.

Ranma was reasonably surprised to be spared any more complaints or insults. Naturally, his first instinct was to immediately press his luck. "So, what's the plan from here on out?"

Trixie groaned while she climbed up into the wagon bed. "Give Trixie a few minutes, will you? Trixie still hasn't fully absorbed the failure of Trixie's previous plan." She slumped onto the bed of blankets, pillows, and grain sacks in the middle of her other supplies. "Ugh... Trixie will have to consult the maps. There... There might be a shortcut through the area, or... or something."

Ranma started heading to the front of the wagon again, but he hesitated. "... Trix? Are you okay? You're taking this kind of hard. Why does it matter so much if we lose a week or so?"

"Trixie was HOPING to get a head start on saving some money," the magician growled, her ears pinning back against her head. "That would have been hard enough between your eating habits and Trixie being driven out of every town before so much as setting up a puppet show. But now Trixie knows there's hardly a spare bit between here and Creepy Crags! Hay, even if we get attacked by more desperate villagers, the dopes barely have any pocket change for you to take."

Ranma thought it was somewhat unfair for Trixie to speak as if he alone had looted their defeated enemies; he may have come up with the idea between the two of them, but Trixie had taken to the enterprise with fervor and poorly-disguised glee. More to the point, all such loot went directly to Trixie's cash stores via some unspoken and questionable agreement. For all intents and purposes Ranma didn't own a single bit.

He put that objection aside, however, when he saw how despondent Trixie looked. She had been in surprisingly high spirits since Fillydelphia, despite them being attacked and having to leave the city in a hurry as usual. And while she was normally way more concerned about money than Ranma thought was reasonable, she didn't usually let sudden losses bring her down like this.

"Why do you need money all of a sudden? Are we running out?"

Trixie's eyes narrowed at him. There was just a hint of guilt in the stallion's voice.

"... No, although that could change easily enough. What Trixie wanted to do was buy a new wagon."

"Why? Is something wrong with this wagon? Do we need to fix it?"

Trixie shook her head and pushed herself up into a seated position. "It's not that. Trixie used to have a much larger traveling stage wagon. It could be unfolded into a platform from which Trixie could put on a show whenever and wherever she wanted, and had proper living space so Trixie didn't have to sleep on the rocks every night." She sighed wearily. "Such a thing isn't cheap, however, and Trixie doesn't do payment plans. We probably need a good four or five thousand bits to spare for anything of passable quality, and there obviously isn't any money like THAT anywhere in this stupid valley!"

Ranma sat down and rubbed a hoof against his chin. "Well, there's ONE place, obviously. But aside from that, yeah, I guess we'd be lucky just to keep up our food stocks."

Trixie quirked an eyebrow. "One place? What one place?"

"The bandit gang. That's where all the villages' money is headed, isn't it?"

Trixie recoiled. "OHHH NO. We're absolutely NOT getting involved in this bandit problem!"

"I didn't say we should!" Ranma protested.

"But you're thinking about it!" the unicorn accused.

"Well... sure I am!" Ranma admitted. "I mean, you heard the villagers! This Morning Star jerk is keeping the entire region under his thumb!"

"Under his what?"

"That... It's... Never mind!" Ranma rolled his eyes. "Look at it this way, Trix: we need money. The bandits have money. The villagers want the bandits gone. We want the villagers to not try to kill me for cash. It's win-win!"

"Unless Trixie ends up with a stray arrow or dagger in her throat, in which case Trixie definitely LOSES," the magician snapped. "This isn't like fleeing the Equestrian guards, Ranma. Guards have no reason to bother Trixie. You DO remember what happened the last time we encountered a mob of criminals, right?"

Ranma winced. "Well... you got captured and held at knifepoint. Yeah, that was bad. But I'll do better this time! I promise! I won't let them hurt you! Heck, you don't even have to come along! I'll sneak into their base and knock 'em silly on my own!"

"Ah, of course. Trixie will just stay behind in some bandit-infested, desperately impoverished town with her cart full of supplies and bits and no bodyguard. There's no way THAT could end poorly," the magician drawled.

Ranma's ears flipped down. "Oh. Right. So... I guess you should come with me, huh?"

"OR... we can rush through the valley as quickly as possible while minding our own business," Trixie said firmly. "If any bandits mess with us, you feel free to knock them silly, but Trixie would like to limit her death-defying adventures to those that involve the potential destruction of the Equestrian state."

Ranma chewed his lip anxiously. "Maybe there's some other place you can hide out? Some place safe? Or you could-"

"Ranma, what is this about? Why do you WANT to fight these brigands?" Trixie asked, exasperated. "Trixie hasn't seen you chomping at the bit for a fight like this since we lost track of Blood Rite. Trixie knows it isn't because you haven't had enough practice banging skulls around lately, so what is it?"

"Well, it's just... seeing those villager ponies all beaten down like that, whimpering in fear and begging us for their money back..." Ranma hung his head miserably, his ears flipping down. "I just... I just feel sorry for them, you know?"

Trixie stared. "...... You DO remember you're the one who beat them, right?"

"Well, yeah. But it was in self defense! Plus defense of you!"

"Exactly!" Trixie snapped. "These ponies tried to kill us! They would have stabbed you and kicked you over to the authorities without a second thought! They MIGHT have hesitated before slaying Trixie, since Trixie doesn't have a price on her head, but Trixie seriously doubts that first crossbow volley was entirely aimed at you! They probably figured Trixie was a criminal for being around you, so they'd simply kill Trixie as well and take the wagon! If they even bothered to think that far ahead! They're hardly any better than the bandits!"

"And I knocked them silly for that," Ranma said firmly. "But come on! They barely put up a fight! They were already half-starved and exhausted, and now they're penniless and unarmed, too!"

"They. Tried. To. MURDER. Us," Trixie said slowly through clenched teeth.

"If I held a grudge against everyone who ever tried to kill me, I'd hate almost everybody," Ranma scoffed. "So what? It wasn't personal, and they know better now. Let it go."

"Trixie DID let it go! But now you want to HELP them, too?!"

"Yes! But NOT for free!"

"Yes, for free! If Trixie went along with this, then Trixie would lay claim to any treasure we find, and you know it! So you are absolutely helping the ponies who attacked us for free!"

"Huh... Well, okay. You have a point there. I don't really have a problem with that, though."

Trixie slapped a hoof against her face. "WHY?! Why are you like this?! What is it about pathetic and undeserving wretches that suddenly draws your moral compass? One second you're bashing agitated musicians into the pavement or kicking around Equestrian bucking Princesses without a problem, and the next you're coddling dragon children and racing off to rescue third-rate hitponies!"

Ranma puffed himself up, holding his head high again. "It's a martial artist's duty to protect the weak."

"It's a BODYGUARD'S duty to protect the employer," Trixie countered.

"Yeah, I know. I'm trying to square this thing, but you could really meet me halfway on this, Trix."

"RRRRRRRRRRGH!" Trixie made a frustrated noise and reared up in her wagon, kicking the air as if it had offended her. Ranma recoiled slightly, surprised by the bitterness of her resistance, but waited patiently for a more eloquent objection.

Eventually Trixie fell back down, and the unicorn seethed quietly for several seconds while suppressing a string of curses. Then her head snapped toward Ranma, and her eyes narrowed to slits.

"Okay, Ranma. Before Trixie makes a decision on this, Trixie has a question for you," she growled.

"Yes, I do want to eat lunch before I attack the bandits," Ranma replied solemnly.

"THAT IS NOT THE QUESTION!" Trixie snapped. She took a deep breath, and then continued. "Do you SERIOUSLY think this is going to be as simple as you say it will be?"

Ranma frowned.

"I know this isn't your strong point, but actually stop and THINK about what you want to do. Now try to imagine your actions leading to some other result - ANY other result! - than the one you intend." Trixie leaned over the side of her wagon, glaring down at the martial artist. "Consider unexpected interference. Consider abnormally strong resistance. Consider random chance, for Starswirl's sake!" She jabbed a hoof toward the cursed stallion. "Consider that EVERY SINGLE TIME you've intervened or started a fight on this world, no matter what your intentions, it's come right around to bite you in the flank! Consider that maybe, JUST MAYBE, scattering some bandits won't be enough to turn Equestria's most wanted 'rebel' into a hero lauded by these hapless villagers! Consider that Trixie's every instinct and decision since we've met has been thoroughly vindicated, and that your most successful plan ever was sneaking us into a dinner party and waiting for Trixie to leave before setting it all on fire!"

She sat up straight again, her furious gaze still locked onto the stallion's. "Think on that for a few seconds, Ranma. Then tell Trixie whether you still want to charge headlong into a bandit bastion for that dirty mob of pony thugs."

Ranma hung his head again, staring at the ground. His brow furrowed, and his eyes fixed on a single point; a sure sign he was thinking hard, although Trixie had seen the expression few times since they'd met.

Seconds stretched into minutes.

The pigtailed pony finally looked back up at Trixie. "I want to go beat up the bandits. I want to help the townsponies and help you get enough money for the wagon. And I want you to come with me."

Trixie made an exasperated expression. Before she could say anything, however, Ranma continued.

"But I don't want you to come along because I think you'll be safer attacking the bandits than staying on your own for a few hours," the martial artist said, his expression unusually serious. "Trix, you can handle being alone. You survived just fine on your own before I came along, and as long as they couldn't get the jump on you somehow, I know you could handle a few thieves. You'd be fine without me. But..." He trailed off and gnawed on his lip for a few seconds. "I'm... not totally sure I could take on the bandits by myself."

Trixie blinked. Repeatedly.

"Say what? YOU think this Morning Star goon might be a match for you?" Trixie couldn't help but giggle at the idea.

Ranma's ears flipped down, and he sighed. "It's not that... not really. I'm sure I could take on any critter in this weirdo fantasy world in a straight fight. Easy! But... well..." He shook his head. "You asked me to think about all the things that could go wrong, and then I remembered that magic is more common than clothing on this stupid planet, and that literally any spell has a chance of blowing me up or doing some other crazy thing that could cripple me in the middle of a fight. And then there are all sorts of other things about this world that seem insane to me but perfectly normal to you, like solid clouds, cats being combined with other, less terrifying animals, and horses towing the sun or whatever that's about."

He straightened and cleared his throat, looking away from the magician. "So... yeah. I'd feel a lot better if you were with me while attacking the bandits. Not because I think you'll die the moment I'm not around, but because I know I can trust you to back me up. You're smarter than me, you know way more about this world and its weird animal-people, and you're really good in a pinch. I don't know if I can do it without you."

Trixie remained silent, trying and failing to maintain an annoyed, stoic expression. She was experiencing that weird feeling again; the one where she was overcome with intense bliss and radiating warmth from her chest that threatened to smother her stubborn indignation. She really, really liked this feeling, and it was starting to concern her how Ranma kept managing to provoke it whenever he needed her to agree with him.

She couldn't quite keep her goofy grin off her face, but she turned her head away so that at least it was less obvious as she replied. "As if Trixie could just let you run off on your own anyway. Trixie would bet bits to bon bons you'd get turned around somehow and end up razing one of these poor, tortured villages to the ground." She coughed into her hoof, and then laid down. "Very well, then. If you insist on bashing your head against the Heroism Wall yet again, Trixie may as well accompany you. Besides, if Trixie can say anything good about your misadventures, they DO tend to be surprisingly lucrative. Maybe this can be Trixie's big break after all!"

"Yeah! I don't know what this Morning Star guy's bounty is, but it's gotta be pretty close to mine if we were the only payouts big enough to help those villagers, right?" Ranma cheerfully jumped to the front of the wagon and started hooking himself up to the harness again.

"You're... planning on redeeming the bounty?" Trixie asked hesitantly.

"Yeah! It's gotta be enough for your wagon, right?"

"Do you know how one redeems a bounty?" Trixie drawled. "Or what the likely response is when the 'bounty hunter' is a bounty target themselves?"

Ranma halted. "Oh. Oh, right. So... I guess you'd have to do it?"

"Trixie would rather not volunteer to try explain to Canterlot soldiers how she defeated a renowned bandit king. As lovely a tale as it would be, it wouldn't take much investigation to figure out you were involved." She pressed a hoof to her chin. "Instead... we should hand this dope over to the villagers, and let THEM deal with redeeming the bounty reward. We'll take our own reward from the bandit's loot."

Ranma frowned. "Doesn't that stuff belong to the villagers, though?"

"Let's consider it Trixie's service fee for being dragged into this insanity after the miserable mules attacked us," the magician sniffed. "Now, then; we need the location of their base. Head toward the nearest town, Havoc! It seems we're in the vigilante business now!"

"...... So, hold on... I have questions. Many questions..."

Princess Celestia sat in the corner of her study, a pair of gold-rimmed glasses perched upon her muzzle. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack sat in the middle of the room while they made their case to the Princess of the Sun, although Twilight was already visibly nervous.

"We may be right short of answers, Princess," Applejack said with a sigh. "We're mostly piecin' this together from what Spike told us, but he was only with this feller fer a single night."

"Yeah, but he was SUPER sure that Ranma is actually cool!" Rainbow Dash added. "So that makes this whole bounty thing really UNcool. Can you nix it?"

Celestia frowned, looking over the poster that had been laid across her desk. "... You said Ranma. This bounty is for a stallion named Havoc. I was under the impression - as was Luna - that those are two very different ponies, despite their appearance."

Twilight laughed nervously. Very nervously, in fact. "Yes, well! That's... a bit complicated. Uh..."

"It ain't complicated at all," Applejack interjected. "There ain't no Havoc. That's just a name he goes by 'cuz his real name is all fancy."

Twilight's eye twitched.

"And he might have used that name to push some crimes onto a fake identity," Rainbow Dash added, rolling her eyes. "But we're pretty sure the original charges were a bunch of hay anyhow, so whatever."

"I'm afraid Havoc's record is more... serious than that, Rainbow Dash," Celestia murmured grimly. "He was seen aiding the rebel Swan Song directly, and fighting Equestrian soldiers."

"Okay, yeah, but that was a misunderstanding," the pegasus said breezily.

"He beat General Firebrand insensate, and then stole his prized magical artifact."

"Misunderstanding," Rainbow repeated nonchalantly.

Celestia grimaced. "That's a lot to misunderstand, Rainbow Dash."

"Okay, so we can't deny that he's fought against Equestrian guards and soldiers," Twilight admitted, "but he's done so largely because he's been wrongfully hounded by the law ever since he met Princess Luna! And he only appeared to help Blood Rite in order to trick them and save me!" She paused. "Or... at least, that's what Spike says. But I believe him! Don't you?"

Celestia didn't reply. She stared silently at the bounty poster, as if it were a puzzle to be deciphered.

"Hey, on that note, I gotta question mahself," Applejack added. "Spike thinks Ranma saved Twi. We dunno what happened, 'cept that Twi ended up outside Coltson lookin' like an apple what been run through a cider press. How'd she get there? Do ya know?"

Celestia's eyes narrowed, although she was still staring at the poster rather than the mares petitioning her. "We do. More or less. Spike is correct."

The other ponies recoiled in surprise.

"He is? About which part?" Twilight asked frantically.

"As far as I can tell, about everything," the white Princess replied. "I have no reason to doubt a thing he's said, and what you've told me fills many holes in my knowledge of Havoc... of Ranma's exploits. In the forest outside Coltson, he emerged from Rite's portal with you, Twilight, on his back. He immediately surrendered you to us, but then fled before he could be properly debriefed. As he was still maintaining the fiction that he and Havoc were different ponies, he no doubt feared he would be found out and forced to answer for the charges made against him." She furrowed her brow. "There was also... somepony else there with him, if I recall correctly. She was... blue, I think."

Rainbow Dash quickly chortled into her hooves, trying to stifle laughter.

"In any case, there is little doubt in my mind that Ranma Saotome saved you from Blood Rite, and almost certainly foiled Rite's immediate plans against Equestria."

"Th-Then you'll pardon him? You'll nullify the bounty?" Twilight asked, her eyes growing wide.

"I'll have the charges properly revised," Celestia said, levitating the poster up in front of her. "And I'll certainly fix THIS nonsense." She drew a wingtip under the "Dead or alive" part of the poster that had the second and third words crossed out. "The very idea that we would not accept live bounties is despicable, and I thank you for bringing it to my attention. We want Ranma Saotome very much alive."

Silence dominated the study for several seconds.

"... That... uh... doesn't sound like a pardon," Rainbow Dash mumbled uneasily.

"It is not," Celestia sighed. "I must deny that request."

"What? But you just said that he saved Twi's life!" the pegasus protested. "That has to be worth more than some soldier's magic thingy!"

"It's worth far more. More than I could ever repay, in fact," Princess Celestia said grimly. "Were he to come before me and explain himself, I would be quite inclined to grant a full pardon. But I'm afraid your vouching for him is not sufficient."

She levitated a quill from her desk and started crossing things out and making notes on the poster. "While I personally consider Twilight's life and safety of inestimable value, I cannot treat the damage and grief Mister Saotome may have caused to other ponies so callously. Ranma has allegedly committed crimes that have nothing to do with his... particular contempt for my government or his personal spat with the rebel sorcerers. I am willing to forgive these crimes, but first I must insist the stallion answer for them himself and display remorse for any wrongdoing. It is unacceptable to simply wipe away his record based on your plea while he wanders about the countryside doing... well, whatever it is he does when he's not busy assaulting my soldiers or my enemies."

Then she pursed her lips. "There is also another... complication. We haven't heard a thing about Blood Rite or Swan Song since the incident at Coltson. And, as I said, we weren't able to question Ranma Saotome at the scene of Twilight's rescue. We don't know if the sorcerers are dead, or wounded, or still conducting their evil plan much like before. More importantly, we also don't know what happened to the artifact they were using to threaten our kingdom."

Celestia's expression soured considerably. "On the occasion of your rescue, Twilight, I implored Mister Saotome to aid me in recovering this artifact. For the safety of the kingdom, it must be located and secured, and the fate of all of Equestria might hang in the balance." Her muzzle scrunched up. "He said 'no' and then vanished in a burst of smoke."

"So... hold on. What does this hafta do with clearin' the bounty?" Applejack asked. "Yer not saying you won't do it 'cuz he refused to help, are ya?"

"Not precisely, Applejack," Celestia said, shaking her head. "Although I'm... not pleased at his response, I do not wish to punish him for impertinence or anything of the sort. However, the knowledge he likely has of the artifact is too important to simply let go because he doesn't wish to explain the..." she paused to look over the bounty poster, and her eyes widened. "FIVE arson charges?! How does a non-unicorn without so much as a flame cutie mark amass five separate arson charges?!"

"Well, one of 'em is probably Twilight's house," Applejack pointed out.

Celestia recoiled in shock. "He's the one who burnt down your house?!"

"No! No, that is NOT accurate! He was involved, technically, but it definitely wasn't his fault!" Twilight protested, completely mortified. "And I certainly didn't report it as an arson, so none of those are mine!"

"Oh. So he burnt down five other buildin's? And we're s'pposed to assume these're 'misunderstandings' too?"

"C'mon, AJ," Rainbow scoffed, "this guy explodes whenever anypony uses magic on him. How hard would it be for him to burn down five buildings by accident?"

"Huh. Okay, yeah, Ah guess ya got me there."

Celestia stared. Twilight sighed.

"That is... mostly accurate. He does tend to explode when exposed to magic that isn't supposed to make him explode. It's uncanny, actually," grumbled the younger alicorn.

"The more I hear about this stallion, the more convinced I am that he really should be brought to justice and locked up. For his own safety, if nothing else," Celestia said bluntly.

"But what about all the good stuff he's done?" Rainbow Dash asked. "We don't know what would have happened to this Rite guy or Twilight if Ranma hadn't come along!"

"Yes, and that's precisely the problem," the white Princess chided. "We don't know what he did to Rite or how he came upon Twilight, nor what his exact intentions are. I want him to answer these questions. The bounty is a means of securing him so that he might be interrogated. A crude, unpleasant means, certainly, but not the only one I'm exploring."

Twilight hung her head as Celestia rolled up the amended bounty poster. "Yes, Princess. I understand."

"Make no mistake, Twilight; I don't refuse your request lightly," Celestia assured her. "I trust you. I know you would not have asked me for this pardon unless you thought it was the right thing to do. And the information you've given me will be extremely valuable in ensuring that he is SAFELY delivered to Canterlot to answer for his crimes."

She paused, and then glanced back at the poster. "I'll definitely have to have a warning included not to use magic on him under any circumstances. Hmmm... perhaps also fireproof bonds?"

The Princess of the Sun shook her head. "But anyway, there is too much at stake to leave Mister Saotome be. I'm sorry, Twilight."

"Aw, phooey," Rainbow groused, kicking at the ground.

"Rough luck, Ah guess," Applejack said solemnly.

"I'm, uh, a little concerned about something else," Twilight said, fidgeting nervously again. "If you keep the bounty up, more and more ponies are going to go after him to try to violently subdue him. Bounty hunters, soldiers, and probably even random adventurers and mercenaries as well. That... That's a really bad idea."

Celestia arched an eyebrow.

"This pony is POWERFUL. Conventionally powerful, I mean! In terms of physical strength, speed, and resilience! But to an incredible degree that I've never encountered before! Between his personal power and his magic allergy, I'm not sure it's even possible to subdue him with ordinary means! Which means that we're sending dozens, maybe hundreds of ponies into a fight that they can't win! We're just getting decent ponies injured and making Ranma mad!"

Princess Celestia mulled that protest for a few seconds. "... I'm sure they will endure and emerge triumphant. I have faith in the guards and soldiers of Equestria who have been entrusted with our nation's defense," she replied evenly.

"Really? Have you SEEN those guys?" Rainbow quipped.

Celestia ignored her. "That said, I do value your analysis, Twilight. If Mister Saotome cannot be captured via ordinary means, then I do have more... extraordinary means at my disposal. I don't think it will take quite as long as you imagine. But thank you."

"I... I see. Thank you for your time, Princess." Twilight's head drooped in a way that could possibly be mistaken for a nod, and she heaved a miserable sigh before she turned around and headed for the exit. Rainbow Dash and Applejack glanced at each other, frowned, and then followed after their friend a moment later.

"Welp... On the one hoof, we managed to get the Princess to clean up the bounty notice and insist on taking Ranma alive. On the other hoof, we also blew his cover on that whole 'Havoc' identity, and now she seems more intent than ever on bringin' him in," Applejack said with a shrug. "Ah guess that's just about a wash."

Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a plaza outside Canterlot Castle, reflecting upon their recent failure. Applejack seemed to take it in stride, but Twilight was clearly depressed, and Rainbow Dash had a squinty-eyed expression that suggested she was trying to think.

"I understand Princess Celestia's reasoning, but I didn't expect her to be so indifferent to the damage that could be caused while Ranma remains at large and hunted by the authorities!" Twilight complained, her eyes fixed on the ground. "How many ponies will be hospitalized hurling themselves at a stallion who can defeat dragonkin and Equestrian Generals?"

Applejack tilted her head to the side thoughtfully. "That's a good point, Ah guess... but it don't exactly make a good case fer leavin' him alone."

Rainbow Dash suddenly snapped her head up. "I've got it!"

Twilight and Applejack groaned.

"Oh, shut up! This plan is perfect!" the racer protested, jumping into the air and hovering above her friends. "First, we just need to wait until nightfall!"

"Yer not gonna suggest that we ask Princess Luna fer the pardon since Princess Celestia turned us down, are ya?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow Dash remained hovering for several seconds, saying nothing. Then she dropped back to the ground and glared at Applejack. "Okay, smartflank, so what's wrong with that idea?"

"Ah knew it. Ya seem like the type to run to Papa if yer Mama ever told ya 'no,'" the farmer chuckled.

"Still not hearing a reason why it isn't the best plan ever!" Rainbow said.

"Rainbow, even if I don't agree with Princess Celestia's reasoning, I'm not going to undermine her by trying to get Princess Luna to do what I want," Twilight grumbled.

"So... the problem with the plan is that we need to leave you behind." Rainbow Dash scratched at her chin. "Yeah, that's gonna be an issue."

"I just feel so helpless!" Twilight moped. "After everything almost fell apart and Ranma rescued me out of nowhere, is this all I can do for him in return? Get the bounty hunters to stick to non-lethal weapons?"

"Hey, that ain't nothin'," Applejack assured her. "And the Princess said that if he ever DOES get caught, all he's gotta do is apologize an' he's a free pony!"

Rainbow Dash winced. "Yeeaaaah... I was only around Ranma for, like, a minute, but... I definitely got the impression he's not big on apologizing."

"I'd love it if that were the biggest impediment right now. We don't even know where he is," Twilight said miserably. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead under her horn. "I wonder if all this concern about the MacGuffin Stone is mostly based on WHOA WHAT IS THAT."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked alarmed as Twilight snapped her head up and then started searching back and forth.

"What? What's going on?"

"You okay, sugarcube?"

"I... I don't know," Twilight mumbled. "I saw... Back when my eyes were closed, I suddenly saw some kind of... light, I guess? It's not quite right, but..."

"Well, if you're okay, what were you talking about? What's the 'MacGuffin Stone?'" Rainbow asked.

Twilight felt something in the back of her mind. A few errant flickers at the edge of her perception. As she considered Rainbow's question, the flickers became a beacon. A small light among her thoughts pointing the way.

"I... I can see it," the purple alicorn mumbled.

"What? Ya can see what?"

Twilight closed her eyes and slowly turned her head. "The MacGuffin Stone... if I think about it... I can tell where it is! I can sense it! When did this happen?"

"Okay, and that's... good? That's good, right?" Rainbow asked. "I mean, what IS the MacGuffin Stone, anyhow?"

"It's the artifact Princess Celestia is looking for," Twilight explained.

"Yer bein' serious, now? That's what it's called?" Applejack asked incredulously.

"Yes, I know. The name is silly. That's really not important, though!" Twilight kept her eyes squeezed shut, concentrating on the light shining in her thoughts. "It seems to be a directional sense... like a compass! The MacGuffin Stone is this way!" She jabbed a foreleg ahead of her, aimed straight toward the beacon.

"It's in Donut Joe's shop?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight opened her eyes, and she was slightly embarrassed to find herself pointing directly toward the store in question. "Uh... well, it's not... maybe..."

She broke into a gallop, rushing to the other side of the plaza. Then she closed her eyes again.

"No! The direction is the same! South-by-southwest!" Twilight raised her foreleg again to point, this time gesturing past the donut shop. "If I can move and the change in direction is negligible, that suggests it's far away! Which is as expected! There's no way the MacGuffin Stone would be here in Canterlot."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash trotted over to join their friend.

"So, what's the deal? You can sense important treasure now? Is this a new spell or something?" Rainbow asked.

"I don't think that's it. I seem to have formed some kind of... connection, I suppose, with the MacGuffin Stone since I was trapped inside it. Does Ranma have this power too? Maybe even the sorcerers do! It would explain how Ranma and Rite have been able to stay on each other's tails constantly even though nopony else could find them!" Twilight looked stunned, and she stared off into the sky.

"Well, this's neat n'all, but... what're ya gonna to do with it?" Applejack asked, scratching her head under her hat.

Rainbow Dash smacked her front hooves together while grinning. "DUH! We use the MacGuffin Sense to track down the Big Bad and teach him a lesson! We'll stop him once and for all, Princess Celestia can have her dorky artifact, and maybe Ranma can finally get a break once the future of Equestria doesn't hang in the balance."

"Why? Twi can just tell Princess Celestia where it is and the army can handle it," Applejack pointed out.

"What? And leave us behind? No way!" Rainbow protested. "AJ, we have a bad guy threatening all of Equestria with a magical something-or-other, all the authorities have been completely useless, and we have a special power on our side that will let us help. This is TOTALLY our thing!"

"And what happens if Blood Rite doesn't have the MacGuffin Stone?" Twilight said suddenly, her expression grim. "What if Princess Celestia leads an army to find the artifact and finds Ranma along with it?"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash shared a perplexed look.

"Um... Ah dunno. What happens then?" the farmer asked.

"Then Princess Celestia is going to do whatever it takes to get the Stone. And as for Ranma? He doesn't care about alicorns, much less respect us. He brushed off Princess Luna and happily fought her to a standstill, and she wasn't even trying to capture him! If the Equestrian army corners him, never mind Princess Celestia herself, there could be a massacre!"

A heavy silence hung in the air.

"Ya really think... he could take on Princess Celestia?" Applejack asked uneasily.

"The idea is completely ridiculous," Twilight said darkly, "but so is everything else I know about Ranma Saotome. We CAN'T let that confrontation happen." She turned back toward the glimmering light in the back of her thoughts. "If we can find Ranma first, we can talk him down and get him to turn himself in so that he can be pardoned and the Stone can be secured! He'll listen to me! He's really not an unreasonable pony at all!"

"He DID seem surprisingly cool with you blowing him up," Rainbow pointed out.

"... Yes. Exactly," the young Princess agreed through gritted teeth. "THANK YOU, Rainbow Dash."

"Okay, Ah see yer point," Applejack allowed. "But what if it's Blood Rite that has the MacGuffin after all? Last Ah recall, you didn't come out of yer last meetin' with him in very good shape."

"You're right. I didn't. I was being somewhat careless back then, but even in a fair fight I can't guarantee that I could handle him on my own." Twilight turned toward her friends and broke a smile. "So will you come with me?"

"Ha! Are you serious?! Of course I'm coming along!" Rainbow said brightly, suddenly doing an aerial somersault for no reason. "I still can't believe you left me behind the FIRST time! If I'd have been there, Blood Rite wouldn't have laid so much as a hoof on you!"

"Aw, shucks. Looks like Big Mac'll be takin' on extra chores again," Applejack sighed. "But nothin' fer it. Between the crazy cursed pony and crazy Rainbow Dash, somepony's gotta look after y'all."

"Thanks, girls," Twilight beamed. "I'd invite the others too, but we'll need to leave quickly and move fast. We can take the train south until the heading for the MacGuffin Stone starts to shift, and then we'll be hoofing it from there."

"Sounds like a plan! I'll be ready to go in a flash!" Rainbow said, doing a quick somersault in the air.

"Ah might need an hour to get Mac up to speed and pack some things, but Ah'll make the train," Applejack agreed.

The three ponies turned and headed toward the train station. Twilight and Applejack raced through the streets at a gallop, while Rainbow Dash kept pace in the air above them.

Then the pegasus started snickering. "Who else was trying not to laugh when the Princess mentioned 'somepony blue' showing up next to Ranma?"

"Took everythin' Ah had to keep from rollin' around on the floor imaginin' the look on Trixie's face."

"I seriously wonder if she's relieved to be completely overlooked while ponies hunt Ranma down or if it drives her crazy that she doesn't have her own bounty."

"HAH!"

Trixie's ear twitched, and she turned her head around, looking off to the side of the road. There was nothing there, save numerous dry, withered trees jutting out of the cracked and wasted ground. The foliage was so thin that it would have been nearly impossible to hide in ambush, and after a few tense seconds, the magician relaxed.

"Something wrong, Trix?" Ranma asked.

"... No. Trixie must have been imagining things," Trixie replied. "Don't slow down. We're almost to the next town."

Ranma continued down the road, his hooves beating against the increasing hard-packed dirt. The terrain had been getting noticeably worse the deeper into the valley they traveled, and now that they were approaching the first town the earth had very nearly been reduced to wasteland. When they had been ambushed their road had been flanked by scraggly brush and lush trees. Now they were surrounded by cracked rock formations and skeletal deadwood. On the side of the path, the occasional animal skull and unlabeled grave - mounds of dirt with rocks piled conspicuously on top - completed the image of desolation and poverty.

Trixie wasn't an earth pony and didn't have any particular feel for the land, but she could easily tell that this was a troubled region. She had been expecting as much, of course, but seeing the terrain in the state it was suggested that the rot was more than just a criminal element grown out of control. The very air tasted bad. Partially in that it was far too dry and dusty for a non-desert region, but it also carried an ill feeling beyond that.

If Trixie were the melodramatic type, she'd say that ponies' hopes had died here, and were rotting away in the wind.

As they rolled up on the town itself, more evidence of decay and neglect became evident. Large wooden fencing around the settlement was broken in several points. Some of the buildings near the perimeter had been torched, their burnt ruins left alone where they had collapsed. Many of the areas behind buildings were dedicated to growing crops, and interestingly enough these fields looked completely untouched. Despite the obviously poor weather conditions and soil, talented earth ponies could get food to grow almost anywhere, and clearly those skills had been pushed to their limit here.

"I see these bandits are the economic type. The farmland looks completely untouched," Trixie mumbled aloud as they approached the gate.

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked.

"Stupid bandits will ransack the fields directly, damaging the crops. That means that there's less food for them to take later, especially if the farmers starve to death or flee their land. Smarter bandits take the harvested produce only, and leave enough for the farmers to survive on. That way there's a steady supply of goods. This gang must be pretty well-organized."

"Huh... okay, that makes sense. Do you know a lot about thieves?" Ranma asked.

"You're not the only one Trixie has ever worked with."

Ranma jerked to a halt. "Hey! I'm no thief!" he snapped back at the unicorn.

"You're easily the most capable pickpocket and burglar Trixie has ever heard of," she drawled. "There are many ponies Trixie's met whose special talents and careers revolve around swiping objects and Trixie would wager you'd put every one of them to shame."

"Well that's... I mean, sure I would! But I don't do those things!"

"Trixie only knows that you can do those things because she witnessed you doing those things."

"I meant besides those times!"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "You know what? Fine. Have it your way. You're a very good martial artist whose skills happen to ALSO make you incredibly effective at thieving. Is that better?"

"Much better. Thank you," Ranma said with a huff before he again accelerated toward the town.

"ANYWAY, as Trixie was saying, these bandits have clearly been at this for a while. If they've pulled in the local governors as well, then this has crossed the line from simple raiding to criminal business enterprise. Less thugs and roughnecks ransacking villages and more a regular flow of goods and duties, as if they were collecting taxes."

"Is that better or worse?" Ranma asked.

"In Trixie's opinion? Worse. Less violence, obviously, but it's so dull! Corruption and evil, if it has to exist, should at least be exciting and dramatic."

"Well, I'll see what I can do about that..."

There was nopony to greet, warn, or even see them at the town's gate, but as soon as they crossed the threshold Ranma could sense they were being watched. He didn't change his expression or movement, heading steadily down the main road, but without so much as turning his head he pinpointed three individuals watching them from hiding.

Trixie's awareness wasn't quite so developed, but she definitely got a sense of foreboding once they walked among the silent and battered buildings of the settlement. She could see signs of life within the village: buckets of water sitting next to doors, clothes lines drying in the sun, and a few cats fighting on a fence. But not a single pony was out and about on the streets.

Before long, she spotted a tavern. It was worn down and battered, with much of the railing of the front porch chopped and broken. Gouges and divots decorated the wooden exterior, and all of the windows had been shattered and boarded up, giving the distinct impression that it had been exposed to much worse than the usual barroom brawls. Trixie considered, however, that at least this building's owner had bothered to remove the arrows and weapons that had hit it. Several of the other structures showed no such care.

"Okay, this will do," Trixie said, gesturing to the tavern.

Ranma adjusted his course, bringing the wagon into a small empty space next to the porch. Trixie hopped down immediately, and then walked over to her bodyguard while he was removing his harness.

She whispered something in his ear at length. Ranma paused to listen, and then nodded sharply before he finished removing his harness.

Trixie pushed aside the door to the tavern. The hinges creaked painfully, and the door itself shuddered as if it were trying to hold itself together from the contact.

The tavern interior was much like the exterior, with the significant exception of actual equine life. Precisely three ponies occupied the building aside from Trixie: a pegasus mare behind the bar, and a pair of old earth pony stallions sitting at opposite ends of the establishment and huddling over mugs of drink as if they were afraid somepony was going to trot up and swipe them. Which, for all Trixie knew, was a legitimate concern around here.

All three ponies glanced Trixie's way as she entered. The stallions looked surprised, and then nervous, returning to their drinks and looking away anxiously. The pegasus grimaced, and then reared up to put her front hooves on the counter.

"Welcome to Trotter's Gulch, stranger. If you're thirsty take a seat, but I'd advise you to move along as soon as possible."

Trixie approached the bar. "Trotter's Gulch? Huh. Trixie didn't see any signs naming the town."

"Roughnecks took 'em or smashed 'em, and nopony can afford to put up new ones," the bartender grumbled. "And we don't really take a lot of pride in our little corner of Equestria nowadays. Ya seen one dirt pit, ya seen 'em all."

Trixie hopped up onto one of the stools at the counter. "What do you have in the way of ciders?"

"Nothing," the mare grunted. "We have dandelion ale and water. Either one is three bits a mug."

Trixie recoiled, grimacing. "Dandelion ale? Trixie didn't even know that was a thing."

"It's the only thing I bother to stock anymore," the bartender replied, sweeping a wing toward her shelves. The bottles were various shapes and colors, but every one of them had a piece of masking tape slapped over the side with a dandelion drawn on it. "It's dirt cheap to make, and it tastes so vile that nopony even wants to steal it. You want any, or no?"

"Trixie will take water," the magician mumbled, floating a trio of bits onto the counter.

The bartender snatched the money away with her wing, moving so swiftly that Trixie almost jumped in surprise. Then the pegasus looked back and forth, her eyes narrowed, and quickly stashed the money somewhere under the counter rather than in the dusty register on top. Once the money was out of sight she seemed to calm down considerably, and she filled a mug with water from a tap behind the bar.

"So what's your story, Miss?" the pegasus asked before turning around, a filled tankard on her wing. With a deft movement, she swiped the wing over the counter, and the mug of water dropped in front of Trixie along with a stray feather. "Ponies don't stop in this town for no reason. Not anymore."

"Trixie is looking into the local bandit problem to see if she can solve the local bounty hunter problem," Trixie replied before lifting the mug to her lips.

The bartender furrowed her brow. "I'm not familiar with any 'bounty hunter problem,' unless you're referring to 'em all being dead or gone. Sticking up for the law around here is a good way to end up in an unmarked grave before your time, Miss."

Trixie didn't answer right away, drinking her water and looking around. He ears were perked, and she spared a glance toward the entrance expectantly.

"Hmmm... This is taking longer than Trixie expected. The outlaws around here really ARE smarter than usual."

"Pardon?" The bartender asked. "What's taking longer? What did you-"

A loud thump and a cry of pain came from outside, and the pegasus jumped in fright. The two other ponies flinched away, hugging their ale tankards and looking like they were on the verge of sobbing.

"Wh-What? What was that?" the bartender asked. Her voice was on edge and her fur bristled.

"That was Trixie's lead," the magician said, taking another sip of water.

"Lead? What are you talking about? Lead to what?" the pegasus demanded.

The door swung open before Trixie responded, and three ponies were hurled into the building one at a time. Each one landed in a heap and groaned in pain, largely unmoving and clearly injured. They all wore shoulder cloaks to conceal small weapons and their cutie marks - important for one trying to ply an illegal trade - and had belts and pouches strapped to their legs for holding filched goods.

Ranma stood in the doorway, and he looked over to Trixie. "Will this do it?"

"Yes, that's fine. Go guard the wagon. But openly, this time. Trixie doesn't think we'll need to catch more trouble-makers."

The pigtailed stallion bobbed his head and turned around, pulling the door closed behind him. Trixie took a long gulp from her tankard while the bartender gaped. The other tavern patrons looked terrified, but they clearly weren't sure what, exactly, they should be afraid of yet.

"What is this? What are you doing?" the bartender asked, nervousness creeping into her voice.

"Trixie just needs a little information," the magician said, dropping down from her stool. Her mug of water floated along behind her head, carried on a trail of pink magic. "Trixie could just ask you, of course, but you seem like you're not the type to trust strangers."

She stopped in front of the confused and miserable thieves, and one by one they twisted their heads to look up at her.

"Hi! You're all probably wondering what just happened to you. Trixie imagines you saw an apparently unattended wagon piled high with supplies and cash, and naturally sought to help yourselves to a bag or two. And then, the moment you touched the wagon, you suddenly found yourself hurtling through the air or staring at a rapidly approaching hoof. And now here you are!"

She paused to take a sip from her mug. "You should know that you three have tried to steal from the Great and Powerful Trixie, and as such have volunteered to be beaten, humiliated, and then forced to betray your evil crime overlord at incredible risk to yourselves! Any questions so far?"

One of the thieves squinted at Trixie, and his expression turned angry. "Just who the hay do you think you are?!"

"It sounds like you want to go first!" Trixie chirped.

Her mug lowered itself to the floor, and then her magic took hold of the stallion's cloak and threw it to the side. This revealed his cutie mark - a cloth sack with a cut string - and a dagger set in a sheathe on his back leg. Trixie's magic seized on the knife immediately, and the thief's eyes widened as the blade drew itself and then swung around to poke into the back of his neck.

"Let's cut right to the chase. No pun intended. Where does Morning Star live?" Trixie asked.

"Wait, what?" asked another of the thieves. She was a unicorn mare, and her eyes went wide at Trixie's question. "You're after Morning Star?!"

"Trixie is a little busy threatening this other thug right now; if you want to be interrogated at knifepoint yourself, you'll have to wait your turn," the magician explained.

The first thief shook his head. "You're crazy if you want to cross Morning Star. You've clearly got some nerve and some muscle on your side, and if you don't push your luck that'll be enough to get out of Venom Valley in one piece and keep most of your bits. But fighting Morning Star is insane for anypony without an army at their back."

"Trixie is a perfectly sane mare in a desperately insane world," she sighed wearily. "Sadly, that sometimes means Trixie must accommodate the less-sane elements in her life. So here Trixie is, holding dangerous criminals at knife-point in order to track down a bandit king to kick his flank. Go figure."

"Wait, you don't think WE work for Morning Star, do you?" the third pony asked.

"If you have any especially convincing evidence to the contrary, now is the time to present it," Trixie said.

"We don't! And we don't know where Star's hideout is, either!" claimed the unicorn. "We're just local thieves! Morning Star hasn't taken us in, yet!"

Trixie quirked an eyebrow. "Yet?"

The other two ponies glared at the mare sharply, but she kept talking in a panic. "That's right! We pass along information and some of our takings to the Star gang when they show up! They told us that if we do well enough, they'll take us in and make us part of the gang!"

"So this Morning Star even has a recruitment program. Lovely," Trixie murmured.

"It's true," confirmed the bartender. "Once the Star gang showed up, they became the most successful game in town. Not only did a bunch of the younger ponies join up out of fear, greed, or lust, but it also attracted independent thugs and thieves to our villages from all around to try to join up." She sneered at the criminals lying on the floor. "For every decent, hard-working pony that manages to leave, five of these mules show up and start causing trouble trying to impress the big boss."

"That certainly sounds..." Trixie trailed off, her brow furrowing. "Wait, lust? What does lust-"

"Look, we don't know where the Morning Star hideout is, okay? Nopony does unless they're in the gang!" one of the thieves squeaked. "Please let us go! We're sorry for trying to rob you!"

Trixie pushed aside her previous question to address the criminals again. "And Trixie supposes none of you low-lifes know how to get in touch with the gang if you need to?"

"We get to talk to them when they show up! We can't just call them up whenever we want!"

"And you're lucky for that! If we could call down a bandit army on your flanks, we would!"

Trixie didn't respond, thinking quietly while taking another sip of water.

Suddenly, one of the tavern patrons pushed his mug away and dropped down from his chair. He trotted quickly to the exit and left, refusing to make eye contact with any other pony and shaking like a leaf the entire time.

Trixie briefly glanced at the stallion while he left, and then stared down at the injured criminals.

"Well, it seems you're of no use to Trixie after all. A pity."

The levitating dagger started moving higher, and the outlaws quivered in fear and squeezed their eyes shut. The barkeep gulped and took a step back, staring at the scene warily.

The confiscated dagger suddenly stabbed downward. The jingle of coins came a moment later, after one of the thieves' purses dropped onto the floor. The dagger floated upward again, its edge conspicuously free of blood.

"Wh-What? What are you doing?" the thief asked.

"Trixie is relieving you of your ill-gotten spoils, obviously. Perhaps this will teach you that crime doesn't pay," the magician sniffed. The dagger stabbed down toward the next pony, cutting her leg pouch free as well.

"So you're stealing from us? After you beat us up for stealing? Are you going to return those bits to their rightful owners or something?" asked the final thief.

Again the dagger fell, and this time the outlaw yelped in pain as the blade nicked his flank.

"Oops. Sorry about that," Trixie drawled before floating the dagger onto the table next to her. A moment later all three purses hovered up into the air and floated beside her. "Trixie is done with you. Go away."

The thieves didn't hesitate any longer. Stumbling painfully to their hooves, they limped out of the tavern with their heads held low. They paused only briefly once they were outside, staring at the stallion seated next to Trixie's cart and yawning. He didn't look especially intimidating in such a passive moment, especially when wearing a purple star-spangled cloak to match Trixie's outfit. But every one of the would-be bandits remembered how easily the stallion had dropped down from the tavern roof and dispatched them before they'd even figured out what was happening. Despite the bruises still growing over various portions of their bodies, each one of the miscreants felt they had probably gotten off easy in this encounter.

With a fearful shudder, the pony thieves raced off into the alleyways from whence they came.

Back in the tavern, Trixie briefly considered the three floating purses in front of her before magically tossing one in front of the bartender.

"Sorry about the trouble. Trixie didn't want to grill those fools outside and draw more attention," the magician mumbled, "or crossbow bolts."

The pegasus snatched the pouch up with her wing, casting a quick glare at the other patron in the establishment. In an eye blink, the purse had vanished under the fold of her feathers. "I'm glad you show your gratitude with bits rather than just words... But I think you're going to get plenty of attention AND projectiles soon anyway."

"Trixie imagines so," the unicorn replied, slipping the rest of the money under her hat.

The bartender stepped closer to whisper in her ear. "I'm pretty sure that bloke that ran out of here, Sour Grapes, is an informant. Morning Star is going to know all about you before the night is out, I'll bet." She shook her head. "Honestly, I agree with the thugs about you being crazy to take on the Star gang. It cheered my heart to see somepony rough 'em up a little, but you'll want to head on back where you came from before things get ugly."

"Trixie appreciates your concern," the magician said, a smug smile crossing her face. She levitated her mug to her lips, and slurped up the last of her water. "... But things are proceeding perfectly, so it wouldn't make sense for Trixie to give up just yet."

The bartender looked confused, but Trixie regarded her with a smug smile while she walked toward the entrance. "Thanks for the water. If circumstances allow, Trixie will stop by again later. Trixie expects to have a lot more money by then, so see if you can scrounge together something more appetizing than dandelion ale. Goodbye."

Hours later, in a cavern not too far from Trotter's Gulch, a pegasus crept down a torch-lit tunnel.

The pegasus was obviously a bandit. Mangy, scarred, and hardened by a tough life of raiding and internecine skirmishes. He bore a scimitar in mid-chop for a cutie mark, superimposed over a pair of wings, and an actual scimitar was sheathed along his flank.

The tunnel he plodded through had clearly been dug for mining originally, and the old and crumbling infrastructure still served its new owners to an extent. Rusted tracks ran through the tunnels, allowing for stolen goods to be pushed through via cart. The lights above had long since been shattered and lost power, but the electrical rigging had been reused in places. The many shelves and racks among the scaffolding were now piled with treasures, bottles, sacks, and numerous trinkets of dubious value.

Tunnels branched off into small rooms. Food stashes, bedrooms, baths, and various other living amenities were built over depleted ore seams and mining pits. Other bandits crossed the stallion's path or watched him pass, offering grunts of greeting or silent glares.

The pegasus ignored them all, walking up an earthen stairwell to a large, iron set of double-doors near the end of the mine. A pair of unicorn skulls were nailed to the front, with torches set in them such that flames seemed to leak from the eye sockets. They were a melodramatic decoration taken from random skeletons found in the mines, not defeated ponies; Morning Star wasn't one to celebrate combat victories with grisly trophies. Mostly because there was rarely much trophy material left from the losers.

He banged a hoof on the door, and then waited.

It took several minutes before a loud clunking sound came from the other side. The doors slowly opened inward, their hinges squealing. The pegasus quickly slipped inside, and the doors promptly slammed shut behind him.

The bandit boss's room was just about as opulent and over-decorated as a poorly maintained mining cave could be. Plush rugs covered the uneven ground, dirty and torn in places from lack of care and the rough environs. Several bottles of various fancy liquors sat in a barrel filled with magic ice; a frosty collection of small, glassy orbs that constantly radiated cold mist. The empty bottles were scattered around the room, along with a few stacks of dirty plates and less impressive treasures that had been pushed somewhere out of the way. Bits and jewels were everywhere, occasionally piled around the antique urns and chests that were supposed to hold them, and occasionally splashed across the ground as if somepony had just dropped them there and forgotten.

The centerpiece of the room was a gigantic bed covered in expensive silk sheets and pillows. It had clearly seen vigorous and recent use, as evidenced by a lithe, charcoal-black earth pony mare lounging on her side near the headboard. At the edge of the bed was an unusually burly unicorn with muddy-colored fur and scars criss-crossing his flanks.

"Where's the fire, Air Raid?" the unicorn asked with an arched eyebrow. "You look a little tense."

"Yeah, well, we might have a problem. There's trouble in Trotter's Gulch," Raid growled, sitting down in front of the bed. "Earlier today I intercepted a bunch of beat-up villagers limping back home. I figured there wouldn't be much to take from them, since it looked like one of the other guys already roughed them up and shook them down. I was wrong. Apparently these dopes got it in their heads to try to score a bounty reward to drum up some bits. It didn't go over so well."

"Pffft!" the other stallion struggled to contain his laughter. "You serious? They were going to come after us? And they got walloped before we even noticed?"

"No. They didn't come after us. They went after HIM." Raid grimly pointed a wing over to a wall.

The wall was decorated with various purloined art pieces, all arranged haphazardly with many of them hanging crooked. Among them were a few scattered photos and bounty posters, including one that had a place of prominence near the top for boasting the highest reward total.

"These mules actually managed to track down Havoc and went for the kill. Judging by the results, they didn't come close to getting it. He and his partner thrashed them, took everything they had, and let them limp home with their lives."

The mare on the bed stirred, looking up at the poster with a lazy smile. "Oh really? The dreamy one is here? Interesting!" She giggled into her hoof, and the unicorn cast an annoyed glance her way.

"Yeah. Interesting. After that I got flagged down by Sour Grapes in Trotter's Gulch, and he told me something else 'interesting.'" Raid clenched his teeth. "Apparently two ponies arrived in town and started a dust-up with a few thugs. Grapes ID'd one of them as the 'Great and Powerful Trixie,' whoever that's supposed to be, and said the other one was a cloaked stallion who beat up the greenhorns like they were nothing. I'm no detective, but it sounds like Havoc's marching on our turf."

The mare smiled more broadly, her eyes fixed on the poster on the wall. Her tail started flicking, brushing against the stallion next to her.

"And it gets worse," Raid said solemnly. "According to Grapes, this 'Trixie' brat and the big bounty are here for us."

This startled the other ponies out of their contemplation. The unicorn jumped off the bed and narrowed his eyes at the other stallion.

"What? A bounty target is trying to score a bounty reward? How the hay does THAT work!?"

"I don't know if they're after the bounty. The mare said something about clearing up a 'bandit problem' and then tried to pry the location of our hideout from the kids. I guess that's when Grapes bolted to set up the signal."

"So this mule's looking for a fight, eh? We can oblige," the unicorn growled, cracking his neck from side to side. "Hay, maybe WE should turn in HIS bounty! We can have Grapes or some other useful idiot cash him in for us! Turnabout is fair play, right?"

Raid's wings shifted and re-settled, squirming while the pegasus scowled. "I don't like it. This stallion is supposed to be an honest-to-Celestia rebel warrior. Like, he's fought off multiple assaults from the Royal Guard. This isn't a pony to be taken lightly."

"The Royal Guard? Big deal! We've chased them off too!"

"Yeah. With some key bribes and a small ARMY. We're talking two ponies strolling from one hostile territory to the next like it's nothing, leaving demolished buildings and piles of injured guards in their wake."

"You're not getting cold hooves, are you Raid?"

"Are you even listening to me?! You don't know half the crazy rumors surrounding this stallion!"

"If the rumors are crazy, they're probably wrong. Don't believe every half-drunk tirade you hear in town."

"These were in the papers, not the taverns! You're such a-"

"Boys," the mare suddenly interrupted, "stop fighting."

The stallions winced, and their ears pinned back. "Yes, Boss," they mumbled in stereo.

The dark-furred pony slinked out of bed, pausing briefly to run a hoof through her long, bright blond mane. As the sheets of the bed slipped away from her flank, they revealed the cutie mark on her hip: an ornate broadsword pointed down, with a flail wrapped around it.

"I'm surprised that Havoc ended up traveling through here... Surprised, and very happy." She walked up to the wall where the bounty posters were hung, and gazed lovingly at the drawing of a pigtailed stallion rearing up. "Mysterious ponies are so sexy, don't you think? I wonder what he wants. I wonder where he came from. I wonder how his bounty managed to go from three digits to six in a month!" She giggled into a hoof.

The stallions didn't seem nearly so amused, and they glared sourly the poster.

"Chances are he's looking for a fight, Morning Star," Raid growled, "and despite Hammer's 'brilliant' idea for criminals to try to get bounty payouts, I recommend we leave this one alone. We lay low, he doesn't find anything to do in the valley, he moves on. Simple, safe, and easy."

Hammer Time snorted, blasting steam from his nostrils. "Nopony will take us seriously if we back down as soon as anypony with a rep strolls through our territory. This punk has a problem with us, and he has cash he collected from OUR villagers. I say we make an example of him and give his marefriend a good story to tell about what happens to those who cross Morning Star."

Morning Star reared up and snatched the poster off the wall. She held it up and stared at it, grinning.

"No. We're not doing either of those things. I want this stallion." She flicked her hoof to the side, and the poster glided across the room toward her henchponies.

Hammer's horn flashed, freezing the poster in mid-air within an aura of blue magic. "Wait... you want him to join up with the gang?" he asked incredulously.

Morning Star smirked over her shoulder. "If possible. If not, then I'd settle for a brief meeting... alone." She ran her tongue over her lips, and Raid shifted uncomfortably.

"Boss, this isn't just some pretty colt we're talking about," the pegasus warned. "Havoc has a longer rap sheet than you! Even if he doesn't want to fight us, this guy could bring an entire army of guards onto our heads if he's tracked here! He's dangerous!"

"I know," Star said simply. "That's what makes him so interesting." She started sauntering toward Air Raid, her tail swinging provocatively with her hips. "Think about it, Raid: A stallion rumored to have stood up to the Princesses themselves! Not out of petty greed or some personal grudge, but just to be FREE! To challenge the stranglehold of those fussy alicorns living in their gleaming towers half a world away! Wouldn't you like to meet a pony like that?" Her grin stretched even wider. "I would."

"Do we... uh... know that's the reason why he did it?" Hammer asked, narrowing his eyes at the bounty poster.

"No," Star admitted, "but I'd dearly like to find out."

She placed a hoof tenderly against Raid's chest and leaned against him, and the pegasus swallowed deeply. A rich, intoxicating scent crossed his nostrils, and he felt his legs quiver underneath him.

"Take a few others and head to Trotter's Gulch. Make this stallion an offer he can't refuse," Star whispered, her voice unnecessarily husky.

"What..." Raid paused to gulp again. "What should I do if he refuses anyway?"

"You're a clever boy. I'm sure you'll think of something." Morning Star smiled, and then leaned forward to give Raid a peck on the lips. The stallion's legs visibly trembled this time, and his wings started spreading of their own volition.

She turned away. "Hammer Time, you go with him. And stay on your best behavior, do you understand?" Star arched an eyebrow at the unicorn, who was already sulking. "If anything unfortunate happens to Havoc on your watch, you won't be returning to my bed chambers any time soon. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Boss," Hammer grunted miserably. A pulse of his magic rolled up the bounty poster, and he took the identifying document in his teeth.

"I'm a little less worried about one of us taking him down on the sly than I am about him breaking us all in half one by one," Air Raid groused, shaking off his earlier spell of arousal. "This pony is hunting us, and we're not even supposed to defend ourselves?"

"Raid, you would be so much more attractive if you weren't such a pessimist," Morning Star sighed. "This can't be that hard. He's a criminal, like us, not some kind of hero. His crimes are... different, sure. But anypony can be bought. Try to keep an open mind, 'kay?"

Raid's eye twitched. "... Sure. What do you want us to do with the mare, then?"

At this, Star's expression fell flat. "Good question. It would be most convenient if she just quietly tagged along and didn't get in the way..."

"VERY unlikely, from Grapes' description," Raid interjected.

"... Well, she's probably a friend or lover and I don't want to upset the stud too much. Invite her to join us too, I suppose. Who knows; maybe she'll be more susceptible to the promise of some easy bits. But don't kill her unless you know you can get away with it," Morning Star commanded with a shrug.

"Got it, Boss," the stallions said in unison before heading for the exit.

"Good luck, boys," Morning Star blew a kiss toward the bandits while they walked out, and then slipped back into her bed, rolling over onto a satin pillow. "I'll be waiting for you, Havoc. I can't WAIT to see what you're capable of!"

Author's Note

Yeah, I'm definitely back in my groove now :ajsmug:

Ranma Saotome's official rap sheet (Post-revision): Assaulting a public official, aggravated assault, illegal dueling, trespassing, breaking and entering, arson (multiple counts), vandalism (multiple counts), destruction of private property, resisting arrest, unlawful appropriation of military equipment, defacing a public bounty notice, illegal deforestation, dine & dash.
Any and all ponies encountering the pony known as "Havoc" or "Ranma Saotome" are to be advised that this stallion is extremely dangerous, and magic cannot be reliably used against him. Additional compensation has been added to the bounty payoff to reflect the unique difficulty involving his live capture.

Metalleus

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 4
Metalleus

"Is this where they're holed up?"

"Yeah, that's what Grapes said. They just looked for a building with a big enough hole in the side for them to carry the wagon right in and then set up camp inside."

"Weird that they're not keeping a lower profile. Nearly every thief in the Gulch rushed to tell us these ponies were here and that they were causing trouble. You'd think somepony with such a big bounty would be more careful."

"Like I've been TELLING you guys, causing trouble is Havoc's entire MO. The only reason he hasn't been locked up in a Canterlot dungeon is because he thrashes every guard and bounty hunter that finds him, not because he's hard to track down!"

"So how are we supposed to handle him? We're supposed to take him alive, right?"

"Not just alive. We're supposed to bring him in willingly..."

"So we talk him in. And if that doesn't work... Bribes? You brought money."

"I guess, but... I dunno. I have a REALLY bad feeling about this."

Outside a ruined windmill, a dozen armed bandits sat in front of a boarded-up house under the cover of darkness. The area was almost completely unlit, with no torches or lanterns coming from the town in general. The most obvious source of light was coming from within the windmill itself; a fire had apparently been lit within the ruins, and the glow cast a shadow of a fully-loaded traveling cart across the ground outside the gutted structure.

Under normal circumstances, the shadow itself would have been an inviting curiosity to investigate. The setup was practically perfect for a smash-and-grab: surround the building, find some entry points, and then beat down the owners and make off with the wagon. But these were far from normal circumstances, and it was setting the thieves on edge.

"It's like they're inviting us in," Air Raid growled, his eyes narrowed at the gaping hole in the windmill's base. "There's no way that these two are this sloppy. Not after they tangled with local punks as soon as they got into town. This is a trap."

Hammer Time grunted. "What does it matter? We're not here to fight." Despite that questionable assertion, a large iron maul was strapped onto his back, and he had a set of armored greaves on.

"But THEY are," Raid retorted. He aimed a foreleg - and the miniature crossbow strapped to it - toward the light. "How long do you figure they're going to give us to explain ourselves before tearing through us?"

"Luna's tail, you're such a foal!" another stallion snarled, walking past the other bandits. "Unless you're volunteering to explain to Morning Star why we gave up before these saps so much as threw a dirty look at us, stop whinnying and get a move on!"

Air Raid tried to shush the other ponies, but they had apparently tired of waiting. They walked toward the windmill, creeping across the ground with practiced stealth. Hammer Time led the procession, his head held low and his hoofsteps nearly silent.

Something in front of him caught his eye, and he suddenly froze. Every other bandit paused in an instant, their muscles tensing like coiled springs.

"Well, well, well. Look what I found," the unicorn whispered, staring at the ground. His horn started to glow, and a slight glimmer of reflected light ran up a length of twine stretched across his path. He slowly followed the line up to a broken fence, and then up to a pair of empty tin cans pinned to a post. "Classic alarm trap. Aren't they clever?"

One of the other thieves plucked a pouch from their belt, and then blew a bit of chalk dust into the air in front of them. Another length of twine was soon visible after the dust settled, stuck into the ground on one end with a nail and pulled taught to a different noisemaker.

"If they were relying on these things to catch us, then we might just catch these fools unaware," Hammer chuckled as he stepped over the tripwire.

"And that helps us... how?" Air Raid asked.

"Ponies tend to be a lot more... agreeable when they're scared," Hammer explained while he advanced again. He was moving even more slowly now, and testing the ground gingerly with every hoofstep. "What'll they think when they expected to hear us coming, only to wake up with us standing right over them?"

"They'll probably think 'Gee, it was nice of the rotten criminals to announce themselves after evading our alarms rather than killing us in our sleep. We can destroy them now,'" Raid replied bitterly.

"Raid. Seriously. Stop your moaning, will you?" Hammer Time growled as he approached the breach in the wall. He let his horn dim to nothing, satisfied that there were no more obstacles between them and their targets.
Sliding up next to the opening, Hammer carefully leaned in to take a look inside.

Much of the interior was obscured from his angle by the wagon, but he had a decent view of the camp site. A blue unicorn mare wearing a purple hat sat in front of a small, crackling fire. She was looking over several scrolls, and her horn hummed with pink energy while she read. Laying on the ground next to her was their target; he was curled up under some blankets, but was instantly recognizable thanks to his pigtail.

Hammer narrowed his eyes, and then pulled back from the breach.

"Snipes, you seeing this? Looks like the Great and Powerful Nobody is waiting up for us. Havoc is fast asleep," the burly unicorn whispered.

An earth pony with a large crossbow leaned over to get a look, and then nodded silently.

"So the dangerous one isn't awake? Good," Air Raid sighed. "Maybe we can make a deal with her."

"Deal? The hay with that," Hammer Time scoffed. "Snipes, take her out."

Only Raid's professional commitment to stealth kept him from crying out in fear. "What? What are you doing? Don't do that!" he hissed.

The pony designated as "Snipes" glanced from one bandit to another, confused. Then he unslung his crossbow and clamped it onto an aiming brace on his foreleg.

"Morning Star said to take the mare out if we could get away with it. We have the drop on 'em and Havoc is asleep. Looks like an opportunity to me," Hammer explained.

"You're going to kill her right next to her partner? Are you insane? At that proximity he could be woken up by the blood splatter alone! How do you figure we're going to talk our way out of that?"

"Good point. If we're going to do this, we have to do it right," Hammer admitted. "Snipes, make sure she doesn't land on top of our target, okay? Stocks, sneak around the wagon and get ready to move the body the second it hits the ground."

"No. No, don't any of you do any of that!" Raid snapped, barely managing to keep his voice down. "We can't play things this fast and loose! Especially not when we're trying to get on this stallion's good side!"

"Raid, would you stop being such a wimp about this? You just need to come up with something to tell him when he wakes up and sees us instead of his mare."

"Do you think that's easy? What the hay is wrong with you?!"

"What's 'wrong' with me is that I'm actually trying to follow Star's orders, while you're just looking for a way to weasel out of them."

"Getting our skulls kicked in by an enraged super-criminal isn't going to get this stallion into her bedroom, Hammer!"

As Air Raid and Hammer Time whispered to each other, Snipes kept his gaze fixed on his target and his crossbow at the ready. He had a perfect angle on the blue magician already, so he'd be able to execute her at his leisure. The shot was too perfect, almost. It was a bit strange. After they had been ambushed already, announced themselves to the entire town, made themselves easy to find, and even set up traps for the inevitable encounter, had they really arranged themselves so that a single quick arrow or throwing knife could take down their sentry as soon as they dropped their guard? It was common enough to overlook vulnerable firing angles, surely, but the situation just felt off.

The unicorn mare shook her head and then glanced up, spotting the bandit watching her. She froze, staring straight at Snipes, and then blinked.

At that moment, Snipes made his decision and surrendered himself to his special talent. The crossbow snapped up and a hoof gently tapped the release lever. The bolt was launched into the air, and the mare's eyes widened in shock as it darted toward her forehead.

Then the bolt passed straight through the magic mirror, breaking it into a thousand motes of pink light before vanishing entirely. The projectile cracked noisily against the stone wall of the windmill, and then bounced harmlessly onto the ground. The stallion sleeping on the floor, apparently not illusory, suddenly snorted, and his ear twitched.

Raid and Hammer froze, and their heads snapped around toward Snipes. Snipes slowly pulled himself back behind the cover of the wall while droplets of sweat started rolling down his head.

"Snipes? Snipes, what happened? Did you get her?" Hammer Time asked.

"Did you miss? I heard the bolt hit stone all the way from here! You're going to wake up Havoc!" Air Raid complained.

Snipes flipped a fresh bolt into his crossbow from a leg holster, but the motion was automatic; his eyes seemed unfocused and he had a slightly unnerved smile on his face.

"We... might have screwed up, guys," the bandit sniper said with a rueful chuckle.

"How? You DID miss? You never miss!"

"I didn't miss," Snipes whimpered, his ears flipping down. "That... That isn't really the problem..."

The sound of flames igniting came from above, and the bandits started in surprise. Several torches bolted to the side of the windmill ruins suddenly lit up in bursts of pink magic, and light spilled over the criminals covering in the yard. Every one of the bandits recoiled at being suddenly exposed, and then they heard an airy chuckle coming from above.

Their heads turned up toward the fan of the windmill. The silhouette of a laughing unicorn was stretched over one of the blades, but the scattered light sources made it confusing as to where the shadow was cast from. By design, no doubt.

"And you mules must be the 'real' bandits. Morning Star Gang, was it? Trixie is gratified that you were so quick in falling into her trap! Trixie didn't want to lose too much sleep while shutting down your entire criminal operation here!"

"What?!" Hammer Time stepped back, scowling up at the shadow. "You think you're going to shut us down? The Morning Star Gang? Is your horn on straight, filly?"

"I told you! I TOLD you guys!" Air Raid groaned, hanging his head.

"To be honest, even Trixie was doubtful at first about our chances. But after seeing how easily you clods were lured into an obvious setup, Trixie feels she was badly overestimating you before. Would you like to surrender now, or lose some teeth first?"

Snipes' expression went from fearful to furious in an eye blink, and the stallion hopped back before raising his crossbow to aim at the fan. "Big talk from somepony hiding in the shadows! Why don't you step on out and-"

A hefty stone block suddenly flew out of the hole in the windmill and slammed into Snipes. The shooter was thrown into the air by the impact, and he cried out in pain before he skidded into the ground hard and ended up with a mouthful of dirt.

Ranma slowly walked out of the windmill foundation, his gait sluggish and his eyelids half-open. The bandits leapt into action, scrambling away from their cover until they surrounded the martial artist on all sides.

The martial artist paused to sit down once he was out in the open, and his jaw stretched into a gaping yawn.

"... So... This feels like a good time to mention that we're not actually here to hurt you or rob you!" Air Raid said nervously.

Ranma finished yawning and then tilted his head toward the pegasus, looking annoyed.

"Ah, yes. That makes total sense. You snuck past our alarms, surrounded our camp site, and then tried to put a spike through Trixie's face so that we could have a calm, peaceful chat." The torches around the windmill sparked with magic and suddenly burned brighter, causing several of the criminals to flinch. "Do you think Trixie is stupid or something?"

"Mistakes were made! We definitely miss-stepped with that last part!" Raid shouted desperately. "But we're actually here to-"

The sound of weapons being drawn interrupted Air Raid before he managed to finish pleading his case. He turned an incredulous gaze toward Hammer Time, who was now levitating his maul in a combat stance. The other bandits had likewise readied their weapons, and were slowly positioning themselves to pounce on their pigtailed target.

"What... What are you DOING?" Raid asked incredulously. "Did you forget why we're here?"

"We're here for the pigtailed dope," Hammer said grimly. "But they're not going to listen to us. Not when they set up this whole thing to take us out in the first place! Given the circumstances, I think Morning Star wouldn't mind if we carried him in with a broken leg or two. And gave the mare a shallow grave outside town."

"Honesty is refreshing, isn't it?" Trixie chirped. "Now remember, Havoc: we need one of them awake and non-concussed enough to answer questions after this!"

Ranma stood up and nodded sleepily, looking for all the world like he was trying to stay awake in the middle of a ring of blades.

"Cheeky little brats... Get 'em, boys!" Hammer Time shouted.

The first of the bandits launched their attack. One of them fired a leg-mounted crossbow, while another leapt for his flank with dagger bared.

Ranma flipped backward, neatly avoiding both attacks. Once the dagger-wielding pony completed his missed swing the martial artist was already leaping forward again, one hoof chambered to retaliate. He slammed into the bandit's shoulder, sending the rogue skidding across the ground.

Ranma paused only a second to take in the movements of the other ruffians, and his ear twitched. Hammer's maul swung down on an arc of bright blue power, smashing into the ground while its target bounded away. The ground erupted all around the impact, kicking up a hefty spray of cracked dirt and rock in Ranma's wake, but he barely spared the attack a lingering glance.

He closed with another bandit - this one armed with blades strapped to his hooves - then sharply rolled out of the way. The raider reacted with impressive speed, shifting his weight and aiming to slash to the side, but Ranma pumped a kick into the side of his head first, sending him spinning away. Another hop avoided another crossbow bolt, narrowly missing his ankle.

Another bandit was already sprinting to attack from behind, and Hammer's maul was spinning toward him in some sort of strange, magic-powered boomerang-style attack. Ranma darted forward, narrowly evading a short sword swinging for his rear, and then ducked into a slide under the hammer.

"EEYAAAUGH!" the rogue screamed as the flying hammer smashed into him, breaking his short sword and several of his ribs into pieces. The bandit hit the ground in a twitching heap, and Ranma glanced up at the windmill.

"Come ON, you useless mules!" Hammer Time growled. His maul came swinging back to him, and then stopped dead with a pulse of blue magic. "Just pin him down for two seconds and I'll finish... huh?"

A loud whistling came from above, along with strobing colored light that illuminated the battlefield much better than the handful of torches attached to the ruins. The bandits spared a glance upward, and their eyes bulged as several multicolored, flaming rockets arced down toward the lot.

The magic fireworks exploded just above the ground, splashing fans of hot neon sparks over the dirt. The bandits flinched away, either lightly scorched by the explosion itself or at least briefly blinded and deafened by the detonation. Hammer Time reared up and whinnied, kicking his forelegs into the air.

An impact crashed into his chest, striking him off his hooves and knocking the wind out of him. Ranma bounced away while Hammer rolled into the dust, and the floating maul quivered in the air before it too fell into the dirt.

The martial artist landed in a sprint, already darting toward the next criminal while they tried to put out the fires on their tails. The relentless sound of hooves striking flesh and the bandits' howls of pain filled the cool night sky soon afterward. If they had stood any chance before, with their target surrounded, outnumbered, and mildly drowsy, that advantage had been burned away by the firework barrage. Half the raiders still had spots in their eyes and ringing in their ears when they were knocked out by a sudden blow to the jaw.

Trixie snickered to herself while she watched the combat by way of a strategically-placed magic mirror. She didn't think Ranma would have struggled to defeat the bandits in a straight fight after they'd lost the element of surprise, but with a bit of magical support the cursed stallion was unstoppable.

She tilted the mirror slightly and spotted the big unicorn pushing himself to his hooves. That one seemed to be some sort of leader, or at least had a much more impressive attack than the others. Hoisting an iron maul and swinging it capably was far beyond the telekinesis skills of the average unicorn, and even Ranma wouldn't be able to shrug off an impact that could shatter stone. Trixie's magic touched the Alchemist's Heart once again, drawing its elemental energy into a spark at the tip of her horn.

"So that's how you're hiding from us!" shouted a voice from behind, startling the unicorn. A moment later a throwing knife pierced the magic mirror, instantly breaking it apart.

Air Raid landed on the platform behind the mill's fan, one foreleg aiming his mini-crossbow at Trixie. He didn't fold his wings after landing, and Trixie could see the glint of steel among the feathers.

The magician scowled, annoyed that she had lost track of one of the combatants. "If you want to wake up with teeth tomorrow you should probably put that weapon down, featherbrain."

Raid kept the crossbow centered on the unicorn's head. "No. Call off Havoc. Then we can come to an agreement where EVERYPONY gets to go home in one piece. How does that sound?"

"GYAAAAAH!!" a pained scream from below caused the pegasus raider to flinch. It was followed by the sound of cracking stone, and then agonized sobbing.

"Trixie would guess it's a little late for that. Wouldn't you rather surrender instead?" She smirked, raising a hoof. "If you give up and tell us where your hideout is, then we don't even have to beat you! You can wander off and we'll go track down your boss."

Raid's feathers ruffled angrily, to the point that one of the hidden knives slipped loose and fell down. "That's EXACTLY what I've been trying to do, you moron! We're here to bring you to Morning Star!"

Trixie's smirk instantly turned into a scowl. "Good! Then put drop your weapon and lay down!"

"No, YOU call off Havoc and put down that magic jewel!" Raid retorted. "And hurry, before that psycho stallion kills somepony! I'm serious!" He sat back on his hind legs and placed a steadying leg on his hoof crossbow.

Trixie hesitated a moment, and then turned to the side. "Fine, have it your way. HAVOC!! STOP BEATING UP THOSE LOSERS AND GET UP HERE!!"

Air Raid glanced down at the field below. Ranma, who was in the middle of stamping on a bandit's face, paused and then looked up. Their eyes met, and the pegasus felt a chill crawl down his back.

Raid heard a popping noise, and his attention snapped back to Trixie. An expanding cloud of smoke was exploding around the magician, obscuring her from the bandit's view.

The pegasus raider felt a surge of panic, and he fired his crossbow into the shroud.

Ranma raced toward the windmill, scanning the outer wall for cracks and protrusions that could be used to climb up in a hurry.

A feminine shriek came from above, and his heart leapt into his throat. No time for climbing, then.

His speed tripled in an instant, and a haze of fiery blue surrounded the stallion. He vaulted into the air, striking the wall at an angle, and then dashed straight up the side. He passed by the platform in an eye blink, and then pushed off the wall at the same time that Air Raid drew his sword.

The pegasus knew as soon as he heard Trixie's scream that his plan to halt the fight had failed. When he spotted his target dashing up a vertical surface in front of a streak of mysterious cerulean energy, he knew that the fight was surely lost as well. If anything, the rumors he had heard concerning Havoc had been badly understated the danger of fighting him rather than being flighty exaggerations. While they often credited the mysterious stallion with abilities that shouldn't be possible for an earth pony, none of them bothered to mention that he also traveled with a reasonably astute and capable illusionist.

Ranma's hoof struck the floor just after Raid leapt away, smashing straight through the hefty planks and shaking the entire platform. He kicked his leg in Raid's direction, tearing his hoof free of the hole and sending much of the splintered flooring around it scything toward the bandit. Air Raid clenched his teeth hard around the grip of his scimitar, feeling the shrapnel strike his leg armor and stab into his chest and side. A substantial chunk of the flying splinters also tore into his wings, ripping dozens of feathers free and causing his flight to waver.

Ranma leapt. Raid swung his blade to meet him. Ranma's leg lashed out like a scorpion's tail. A ringing impact and a flash of blue briefly stunned the pegasus, and before he knew it his sword was sent spinning away through the air. Ranma landed behind the bandit, facing away, and bunched up his rear legs.

"GYAAAAGH!!" the bone-shattering kick sent Air Raid flying into the ruins of the windmill. He barreled over the stairwell, smashed through the rickety railing, and crashed into the wall opposite the fan. The pegasus whimpered painfully, and then slowly slid down the cracked stone onto the floor.

Ranma hardly spared another glance at the bandit, racing over to Trixie. The magician was lying on her side near the wall, with her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth clenched. The cause was obvious: a small crossbow bolt had pierced her hip, barely missing her cutie mark.

"Oh no, oh god, oh geez!" Ranma stood over the magician protectively, panic starting to overtake him. "Trix! Trix, are you okay?! Speak to me!"

Trixie winced, and then opened her eyes to glare at the martial artist. "Trixie took a sharp object to the leg, Ranma, not an explosion. Trixie isn't deaf. Stop yelling."

"Oh! Oh. Okay," Ranma snapped his head back and forth anxiously. "You need a bandage. I'll get a bandage! We have those in the cart, right? Or should I-"

"RANMA," Trixie interrupted. "Get it together, would you? This thing is practically a splinter. Trixie will be fine. Are all the bandits down?"

The martial artist recoiled. "Uh... I'm not sure. Maybe?" He glanced out toward the mill's fan, frowning.

"Well, Trixie hopes not, because Trixie's plan still requires one of them with enough sense and bits of jaw left to talk." She started to push herself up, gritting her teeth against the pain in her thigh.

"Whoa! Hey! Hold on! You don't need to move! I'll take care of it!" Ranma shouted, dashing around Trixie in a panic and waving his hoof.

"Oh, hush. This wound is barely more than a bee sting," she retorted, standing up fully and lifting her injured leg gingerly. "Look, it's hardly even bleeding! Now get your plot down there and captu-"

A tremendous crash came from below, and the wooden floorboards shook under their hooves. Trixie immediately stumbled from trying to balance on three legs, and Ranma pressed his hoof gently against her side to steady her.

"Wh-What was that? An earthquake? That didn't feel like an earthquake!" Trixie complained, looking around the room. She and Ranma were currently on the second floor of the windmill, which consisted of a ring of rickety wooden planks built around a large central shaft and a stairwell in the back. The floor had several holes already due to wear, lack of maintenance, and whatever incident had ripped open the wall of the structure down at ground level. After the recent tremor - whatever its cause - the floorboards were starting to come apart and collapse entirely.

Another loud impact came from below, followed by the floor shaking again. Ranma, having a great deal of experience in the various sounds of violent demolition, recognized it as a wooden support beam being smashed through.

Sections of the flooring started falling down, and Trixie staggered backward while trying to avoid putting weight on her leg. Ranma felt the boards under his hooves start to tilt, and he made a decision.

"Hold still and stand up straight!" the martial artist ordered. As soon as Trixie stopped trying to back away from the damaged flooring, Ranma ducked underneath her barrel, between her front and back legs. Trixie yelped as he stood up again, now carrying the magician on his back.

Another crack came from below, and the floor fell away underneath them.

Trixie gasped at the sudden feeling of weightlessness, and she clung tightly around Ranma's body as best she could from her position. Ranma kept his eyes down, tracking the debris collapsing around him and locking on to the safest landing spot.

His back leg lashed out, striking a floorboard and pushing him out of the way of several wooden planks splintering against the ground. Turning slightly to keep his passenger balanced, Ranma's hooves touched the ground, landing with a gentle tap. Trixie bounced slightly at the impact and squeaked, pinning her head down under her hooves while pieces of debris still crashed to the floor around them.

"Looks like that mare is pretty important to you..." snarled a nearby voice. "Why don't you give up before something BAD happens to her?"

Hammer Time stood next to the hole in the wall of the windmill, scowling at the two travelers. A thick wooden support beam, formerly lodged at an angle between the wall and the floor above, lay in front of him in two pieces. His maul hovered above the wreckage, floating in a cloud of azure power.

His horn pulsed, and the maul trembled as the magic around it swelled. "Seems like it would be hard to dodge with a pony on your back, huh? Why don't you put her down?" The maul rose higher. "When you do, I'll drop the hammer. If you move, your marefriend is paste. If you don't, you get knocked out, I leave the mare alone, and I'll carry what's left of you to Morning Star."

Trixie felt Ranma's muscles shift under her belly. He was planning to engage the bandit anyway, probably while still carrying her. "Ranma, don't you move a muscle!" she barked.

He stopped immediately, and his muscles relaxed.

"Ranma? What? What's a 'Ranma?'" Hammer asked, arching a brow.

"Me. I'm Ranma. Ranma Saotome," Ranma explained with a sigh.

"You are? I thought your name was Havoc."

"No, Trix just calls me that and everyone else picked up on it. My real name is Ranma Saotome."

"That's a weird name. You should stick with Havoc." Hammer Time nodded solemnly.

"SEE? Trixie told you!" Trixie shouted triumphantly.

"I don't care! My name is Ranma!"

"Everypony but you likes Havoc better! You should just change it."

"I'M NOT CHANGING MY NAME!" Ranma shouted. "Why are we even talking about this? Weren't you about to bash us or something?"

"Right! Yeah!" Hammer Time grinned, and his horn glowed brighter. "If you're not going to drop the mare, then you'll both... wait... HEY!"

A glance up at his maul immediately revealed the problem. Where before the weapon was surrounded by a bright azure aura, now half of the swirling magical energy was a rosy pink. The maul quivered back and forth while the magical energies dueled for control, and droplets of sweat started rolling down Hammer's brow.

"Let go of my hammer, you stupid brat!" Hammer Time commanded, taking a step forward. His horn's magic pulsed, and the blue energy crackled and surged.

"If Trixie is being honest, you're actually quite skilled at this," Trixie admitted through clenched teeth. "But Trixie isn't just skilled! Trixie is the BEST!" Her horn flared as well, and the pink magic surged back against the blue.

Ranma watched the magical struggle silently for several seconds, saying nothing while the unicorns grunted and murmured curses under their breaths. Then he turned his head to look at Trixie.

"Yo, Trix, can I move a muscle now? I don't think he can take a swing at us like that."

"What? Oh, right. Yes, that's fine. Just give Trixie a moment to get down..."

Hammer Time did a double take, and his expression started to turn from frustration and anger to panic and fear as he watched the magician lower herself onto the floor. "H-Hey, wait, this... this isn't fair! You c-can't just-"

As soon as Trixie was standing on her own hooves again, Ranma bolted for the last of the bandit intruders. Hammer threw a hasty kick forward in defense, but the martial artist didn't even bother to dodge. Hooking his leg under Hammer's, Ranma flung the larger stallion across the room, slamming him into a pile of debris.

The magic resisting Trixie's levitation broke, and her pink aura engulfed the raider's maul. Trixie sighed in relief, and then cut off her spell. The massive weapon dropped straight to the floor, making a hefty web of cracks in the stone.

"Now, then..." Trixie turned, her gait slightly awkward on three legs. "Time for Phase 3 of Trixie's plan."

Hammer Time groaned and shifted among the pile of wood and stone underneath him, and then he started to stand.

A hoof touched his back, and then none-too-gently shoved him back down into the debris. The bandit hissed against the pain and looked up nervously. Ranma stood over him, a single foreleg holding him down and his eyes narrowed to slits.

"All right, bandit goon! Spill!" Trixie shouted. "Where is Morning Star's hideout?"

"The old mine off of Metalleus Station!" Hammer Time answered immediately. "About a mile north there are some old, wrecked train tracks. Follow them heading east and you'll find the station! From there just head to the mountain range that makes up the valley wall; there's a series of caverns carved into it where they used to mine silver! Metalleus! That's our hideout!"

Ranma blinked. "Wow. I didn't really expect you to put up much resistance, but still..."

"We only came here to bring you back to the hideout with us, idiot! Why would I try to keep it from you?!" Hammer snapped. "You're the ones who insisted on fighting even after Raid tried to explain!"

"That would be the pegasus lying at the base of the stairs, right?" Trixie asked.

A tortured groan came from that direction, confirming her guess.

"He did say something like that before he shot Trixie, so Trixie is inclined to believe you about where your hideout is." The magician nodded sharply. "So, we have a destination. Ranma, you can knock him out now."

Hammer's eyes widened. "WAIT BUT I TOLD YOU WHAT YOU-" He was cut off with a sharp crack when his head was slammed against a floorboard, and a moment later he slumped into unconsciousness.

Trixie turned around toward her wagon, clicking her tongue when she noticed it was covered in chunks of debris from the floor above. "Blast. These punks really made a mess of this place. Trixie is almost impressed. It's no wonder the local guards couldn't handle them." Her horn glowed, and one by one the various floorboards and hunks of masonry flew away from the cart on streaks of pink light.

"Trix? Do you, uh, want me to help you with your leg now?" Ranma asked.

Trixie paused in her task, looking back at her bodyguard. Ranma's head was lowered, his ears were pinned back, and there was a definite note of anxious fear in his voice. Trixie couldn't help but find his mortification amusing.

"Trixie can take care of it," she assured the stallion, giving a disinterested glance at the crossbow bolt.

"Well, um, yeah, but... I just thought..." Ranma trailed off nervously, and Trixie quickly filled the gap in their conversation.

"Trixie knows exactly what you're thinking," Trixie said smugly. "You're feeling guilty because Trixie got hurt under your protection, and ashamed because Trixie predicted this sort of thing would happen when you decided to take on the bandits to begin with."

She limped over to the wagon, which didn't especially help Ranma's mood. A few blankets and boxes were levitated out of the way, and then she floated a particular pouch into the air.

"But you needn't bother. Trixie was right; so what? You may have noticed that Trixie is ALWAYS right." The pouch dropped in front of the unicorn, and her magic tugged the drawstring loose.

Ranma raised a hoof as if he was about to protest that point, but Trixie kept going. "When Trixie agreed to this goal and concocted this plan, Trixie also predicted and accepted the risk of sharp objects to the flank. That's part of the territory when a pony takes on armed criminals, and Trixie won't be scared off by a little pinprick like this."

A flash of pink surrounded the bolt's fletching, and then the projectile was pulled free. Despite her earlier bravado, Trixie squeaked in pain as the bolt fell to the floor, and her voice shook slightly when she continued.

"R-Really, something like th-this is b-barely even worth a bandage," the magician insisted, blinking away tears while she levitated a gauze patch against the bleeding puncture wound.

"Hey, make sure you disinfect that!" Ranma interrupted. "You're lucky enough it wasn't poisoned, but who knows where these jerks' weapons have been."

"Yes, yes, FINE," Trixie groused, taking a bottle of sanitizer balm and towel from her first aid bag. "While Trixie is doing this, you go around and carry the bandits outside. Drop them in a big heap in the middle of the road."

"Why? What're we doing with them?"

"Let's call it a down payment on the big bounty. Plus, these dolts supposedly like making 'examples' of their victims... Trixie thinks some turnabout is fair play." A wicked smirk crossed the magician's muzzle, and her eyes narrowed at Hammer Time's insensate body.

Then the levitating towel touched her wound, and she squeaked in pain again. "Ow! Ow! Ow! It stingssssss!"

Hammer Time had lived most of his life as a brawler and criminal. He had been in his fair share of fights, and had suffered plenty of brutal injuries, mishaps, and the occasional painful defeat.

None of these experiences prepared him for the bone-wracking misery that assaulted him when he cracked his eye open this particular morning. Light flooded his pupil, surges of pain flooded his brain from every sector of his body, and a wave of nausea rolled over him like a cattle stampede. The only incident that had even come close was a particularly nasty training accident when he'd been practicing a boomerang swing with his maul and failed to stop it in time.

And all that was before he realized he was tied up and surrounded.

The ropes had been strung around the entire gang of bandits, with some strands running between their bodies and some others just pulled taut around all twelve of them. It wasn't an exceptional binding, and any single one of the rogues could have escaped easily, even being disarmed, had they been in any condition to flee. Alas, several of the stallions were still blissfully unconscious, and those who were awake could do little more than groan and whimper.

And then, of course, there were the townsponies.

Possibly the entire population of Trotter's Gulch had formed a ring around the equine raiders. They glared, whispered to each other, and a few of them seemed to be carrying farm implements and improvised weapons. Of course, the remaining population of the town was something like forty ponies, and they were far from intimidating on their own, but being savagely beaten and restrained had a way of changing the balance of power.

"Wh... Wha happened?" Hammer gasped, his voice coming out dry and weak.

Several townsponies stopped speaking to each other and stared down at him, their expressions like stone.

"I warned you," Air Raid moaned, streams of tears slowly dribbling down his cheeks. "I told you we shouldn't have crossed him. Why? Why doesn't anypony listen to me?"

"I really didn't believe it. But maybe I was wrong about those two after all," said a new voice.

The crowd on one side parted, allowing a single pegasus mare to trot down the street. Every citizen and bandit knew her well; she was the only barkeep in Trotter's Gulch who had managed to remain open despite the constant bandit activity.

"You know what happened?" asked a townspony.

"Who did this? Are they coming for us, next?" asked another.

The barkeep had a bottle of dandelion ale wrapped in the feathers of one wing, and she stopped to take a long gulp before meeting Hammer Time's gaze. Her eyes narrowed.

"Naw, they ain't coming for us. They're here to take out the trash, s'all." A smile crossed her lips. "The general bounty on members of the Star gang will fetch a pretty penny. Mighty kind of our Great and Powerful hero to leave you to us."

Hammer Time snorted, and he finally managed to find his voice. "You'd best think again, wench. Even if those idiots managed to get the drop on us, you can't seriously think they'll take down the entire gang, much less Morning Star! Your 'Great and Powerful hero' will be buried in a ditch soon enough!"

The pegasus took another swig from her bottle while the unicorn fumed, and then smacked her lips. "Yeah, probably."

Hammer blinked. "Then you know you can't get away with turning us in, right? You lay a hoof on us, and you'll pay for it tenfold. You'll all pay!"

The other bandits - those that were awake and lucid, at any rate - glared up at the surrounding ponies. Some of the citizens flinched back, feeling unsure, while others silently seethed or kicked angrily at the dirt.

The barkeep tilted her head to the side. "Yeah, that's probably true too." She lifted her bottle to her lips again, guzzling the rest of the ale.

"Cripes mare, it's like an hour after sunrise," Air Raid mumbled.

Hammer Time sighed calmly, trying not to show how relieved he was. "Smart. Now you all just clear off. We'll get out-"

He was suddenly silenced when an ale bottle smashed against his cheek, shattering in the process. The unicorn screamed as the pain of his headache surged, to say nothing of several brand-new lacerations from sharp glass.

After sucking in air through his teeth, he cracked his eyes open to see the town bartender leaning in and glaring, almost nose-to-nose with him.

"No. Not this time, bandit scum," she snarled, pressing a hoof against his aching chest. "You've pushed the ponies around here too hard, and too often. You think we're going to bow down now, with you and your boys beaten and bound in a heap in the streets? You think we're that weak? That broken?"

"Y-You can't do this. You c-can't!" Hammer protested, his voice catching due to the pain flaring in his chest and head. "M-Morning Star is going to t-tear all of you apart! You m-may as well h-hang yourselves!"

"We'll see what kind of shape the big, bad Boss Star is in after those two troublemakers have a go," the bartender sneered, backing away. "Who knows? Maybe this is the kick in the flank we needed to get rid of you varmints once and for all. But you lot are gonna hear about it from behind bars!"

"You... That... It can't-"

The pegasus mare whistled. "Everypony, feel free to take a few swings at these losers. We don't want none running off, so we'll need to soften them up for the ride outta town. I'm gonna go get a cart team together."

"You're crazy!" Hammer Time gasped. His horn started flickering as he fed magic into it through the agony of his headache. "You're going to get everypony kill-"

A hoof slugged him in the side of the head, and his vision went fuzzy.

"W-Wait, I-" another hoof struck him, and he started to black out. All around him, the townsfolk leapt onto the captured and terrified bandits, venting the anger at their oppressors that had so long been held in check.

"Stop it, you-OOF!"

"Please! Please, no, I-GAH!"

"I told you guys! I TOLD you this would happen!" Air Raid wailed. "Why doesn't anypony-GRK!"

"...... Hey, Twilight? Are you asleep?"

Twilight Sparkle jerked slightly, and her eyelids snapped open. "What? No. What's wrong?"

She started looking around in concern. She was in a train car with Spike, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. Spike had a half-eaten gem in his claws while he looked up at her, while the other two mares seemed to be playing cards. She couldn't find anything wrong; the train was still moving at a good clip through the countryside, and the car was otherwise empty.

"Nothing's wrong," Spike admitted, "but you've had your eyes closed for like ten minutes straight. Aren't you going to read?"

Twilight smiled slightly and shook her head. "No, Spike. Not this time. I need to keep checking the direction to the MacGuffin Stone. If the direction starts to shift, it will give a clue as to its distance. If its starts shifting quickly, we'll know we're almost on top of it! With no information to go on except a heading, I can't get distracted for too long."

"Where's it now?" Applejack asked. She was holding her cards out in a fan in front of her, and Rainbow Dash had a wingtip poised over them, peering closely at the farmer's reaction.

Twilight closed her eyes, and then pointed her foreleg. "There." She was aiming toward the front of the train, and just off to the left.

"So... the same direction as when we left the station?" Spike asked.

"Yes. Almost. I'd say there's been a shift of a few degrees since we set out, but very minor." Twilight opened her eyes again. "Which is good! The further we can get while traveling by train, the better! Once the heading is no longer in a similar direction to our path of travel, we'll probably have to head out on hoof."

"Ha! You lose again!" Rainbow Dash's laugh interrupted Twilight's explanation. The pegasus was grinning at Applejack, who was pouting at the sight of her one remaining card: the deck's Joker, which featured a picture of Discord on the face pointing and laughing at the viewer in much the same way Rainbow was.

"That's three rounds in a row! You're the worst at Old Mare!" Rainbow taunted.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Dash," Applejack groused. "Twi, you given any thought as to what yer gonna say when we actually track Ranma down? What if he ain't happy t'see us?"

"What? Why wouldn't he be?" Twilight asked, blinking.

"Well, far as Ah can tell, this cowpone's been hounded as an outlaw since he left Ponyville. Ya think he's just gonna sit down with an Equestrian Princess and Celestia's student and then come back with ya 'cuz ya asked nicely? If Ah were him Ah'd probably be a little upset with y'all."

Twilight frowned, furrowing her brow. Spike shook his head decisively.

"Nah. Ranma doesn't think like that. He doesn't care that Twilight's a Princess. He actually likes her a lot!" the young dragon explained.

"He d-does?" Twilight looked as surprised as the other mares, and her cheeks darkened slightly.

"Really? Didn't she nearly kill him?" Rainbow asked, causing the alicorn to flush even worse.

"Well, yeah, but he doesn't seem to care. Twi was really nice, and I guess that stuck out to him. He was really surprised that we tracked him down because we were worried about what happened to him!" Spike paused, scratching his head. "I... I don't think he had any real friends where he was from. I mean, he complains about Equestria all the time, but when he talked about his own world he didn't seem to really miss much about it. I feel like if he wasn't turned into a pony as soon as he arrived, he'd be pretty happy here."

"Ah reckon it don't help that he has an angry mob after his head here in Equestria, either," Applejack mumbled.

"Well, no, but apparently that was a problem in the other world, too." Spike chuckled awkwardly while the mares stared at him. "He, uh... he gets in a LOT of fights." Then he cleared his throat. "But anyway, I'm just saying, I don't think we have to worry about Ranma being mad at Twi or not trusting us. If we have any problem convincing him to go back with us, it'll probably be trying to separate him from Trixie."

Rainbow and Applejack shared a glance with arched eyebrows. Twilight frowned.

"Well, it's not as if Trixie can't come along as well, but I doubt she'd want to. Why would it even be a problem? He's just her bodyguard, right?" Twilight asked.

"That's what they say, sure. But I'm not buying it," Spike said, his eyes narrowing. "Those two are... well..."

The mares all leaned in slightly while staring at the dragon, hanging on his every word.

"... Well, it reminds me of some of the couples we've met in Canterlot," he said eventually. "Like, the ones that would complain and snipe at each other constantly in public, and you can't figure out why they're even friends with each other if they annoy each other so much, and then somepony tells you they're actually married."

Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked as confused as before, but Applejack chuckled knowingly. "Oh, Ah get it. Yeah, Ah know the type, all right. They say those're the happiest couples behind closed doors, if ya catch mah meaning."

"I don't," Rainbow Dash said, tilting her head to the side. "Are you saying that Ranma and Trixie are special someponies?"

"It sure didn't seem that way when I met with the two of them," Twilight said uncertainly. "Trixie insisted she was Ranma's employer..."

"Yeah, they say they aren't a couple," Spike admitted, crossing his arms over his chest. "But I dunno. There was this... energy between them when I was there. Like I was intruding on something just by being around. And when Trixie got mad and it looked like she was going to leave him, Ranma begged her to let us keep following her! They've gotta be closer than they let on."

Twilight frowned. "So you think he wouldn't come with us? Even to clear his name?"

"I don't know. But if Trixie doesn't want him to leave, you'll probably have to talk her into it rather than him," Spike shrugged. "Anyway, whatever happens when we track him down, I seriously doubt Ranma's going to be mad at you. You haven't done anything wrong."

"Except blow him up," Rainbow added quickly.

"Don't make me regret asking you along, Dash," Twilight grumbled. "I have to admit, an objection from Trixie would be something I hadn't anticipated. But until we find out whether the MacGuffin Stone is with Ranma again and what he hopes to accomplish with it, I can't guess as to why he or Trixie might object to coming back with us."

She closed her eyes and turned her thoughts to the ancient artifact that she sought.

"I'm getting more movement. The direction is shifting a little more quickly now. We'll probably have to disembark in a few stations."

"The faster, the better," Rainbow Dash grinned. Then she slapped her deck of cards. "New game?"

"Yer on!"

Atop a rickety wooden bell tower, a ragged-looking earth pony peered into a telescope and scanned the distant roads for any signs of approach.

Long ago, during a more prosperous time, the tower had been used by the battered train station next to it, announcing imminent arrivals and departures. Now both structures were on their last legs. The station had been looted, gutted, and half of it had been burnt down. The bell tower had been reinforced well enough to keep standing while its timbers slowly rotted away, but its bell had long since been stolen and melted down for scrap.

The station now served as a bandit checkpoint and scouting post, allowing the Morning Star gang to keep watch on some of the traffic between the towns. This particular morning the sentry was keeping watch for his fellow raiders, however. The team that had left the hideout the previous night had been expected back long ago, with or without their objective.

That they hadn't returned yet didn't necessarily mean they'd failed. After all, their prey might have fled Trotter's Gulch or hidden themselves too well to be discovered in a single night of searching. But as the hours passed without any sort of sighting on the main road, the sense that something had gone wrong began to grow.

A knock came from the wall of the tower.

"Boss Star wants an update. What've we got so far?" A pegasus stallion hovered near the back of the tower, his eyes peeking over a bandanna pulled taut over his muzzle.

The earth pony glanced back with a frown. "We've got nothing."

"Nothing? It's almost noon!"

"I noticed. No word from the Gulch. No messages, no signals, no unusual activity."

The pegasus groaned. "Boss Star isn't going to like that. She's been real excited since last night, and you know how much she hates being out of the loop."

"Well, if you want to go check out the town yourself nopony's stopping you. But I've got nothing." The earth pony dropped his telescope and slumped to the floor of the tower with a sigh.

After a short pause, the pegasus stepped into the tower loft and folded his wings. "Hey, do you know what this is even about? Why does Star care so much about some random stallion passing through the area? This isn't like her!"

The other stallion snorted. "It's EXACTLY like her. You think this is the first time she's done this? You're pretty new here and you're not much to look at, so I guess it's not a surprise you don't know Morning Star better." The pegasus glowered, but the earth pony continued regardless. "From time to time she catches a glimpse of some good-looking stallion she's never actually met and then becomes obsessed for a week or so. It happens often enough that some of the guys used to think it was part of her heat or something."

The bandit waved a hoof in the general direction of Trotter's Gulch. "Most of the time it's just some local that caught her eye for one dumb reason or another. She'll have him foalnapped, have her fun with him, and then eventually she'll get bored. After that they're just another one of the gang. Unless they refuse to work as a bandit, in which case..." He drew a hoof across his neck.

"... Most of the time?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it's not so simple, and things get... complicated. We don't operate very well outside of the valley." He grimaced. "One time she insisted she wanted some random stallion nopony had heard of that she'd seen in a Photo Finish gallery. Didn't even know his name! The guys spent almost a month trying to track him down before she let them give up, and she was surly for weeks afterward. This other time she decided she wanted Prince Blueblood. PRINCE BUCKING BLUEBLOOD! In that case he was easy to track down, but we didn't even get to talk to him before somepony got in a scuffle with the Royal Guard. We were lucky everypony managed to get away! Boss Star was furious. She seriously wanted to attack his countryside villa and just take the Royal Guard head-on! Then someone slipped a stolen copy of Cosmare in her bedroom and we never heard about it again."

The pegasus slumped against the wall of the tower, looking annoyed. "Why do you think Star does it? She's got plenty of stallions!"

"For the same reason she keeps stealing even though she's already rich: she enjoys taking things - and stallions - more than she enjoys owning them." The earth pony stood up again and raised his telescope. "I'm just glad that her psycho-crush is actually in the region this time. If you thought she's antsy now, you don't want to see her after pining after a photograph for a few days."

The other bandit mulled that over silently while the sentry went back to his duties.

"Whoa! Hello, there," the sentry said suddenly, fixing his telescope on a certain point in the distance. "Looks like somepony wandered in when I wasn't paying attention."

The pegasus perked up immediately. "Is it one of the guys?"

"No. Looks like... a blue pony in some sort of dumb wizard hat. It's heading for the train station."

"... That sounds kind of like the mare Grapes was talking about. Is it a mare?"

"Uh... maybe. Size looks about right, but I can't get a good look with all the tree cover. I barely caught it thanks to the color."

"Okay, well, is there anypony with her? Havoc is supposed to be with her!"

"Hmm... No. I don't see anypony else. I wonder if-"

He stopped talking when the timbers creaked under his hooves. Then a steady, wooden thumping came from below; the telltale sound of somepony ascending the ladder rapidly.

"Hey! Who goes there?!" the sentry shouted, whirling around. His fellow bandit leapt upright as well, and promptly went to draw his short sword.

He didn't get the chance. Ranma jumped up into the tower, slamming his forehead against the pegasus bandit's nose. He recoiled, surrendering his only possible opportunity to land a blow while the martial artist jumped onto the platform. Ranma sped past the winged raider and struck him in passing, kicking the pony's head into the side of the platform wall. The entire bell tower trembled at the impact, and several ominous creaking noises came from below.

The sentry already had his own blade drawn, but Ranma didn't look terribly worried as he approached. "Hey, I just wanted to check and make sure we were on the right path. The bandit hideout is over there, toward the mountains, right?"

The sentry growled an unintelligible battle cry and leapt forward, swinging his sword for Ranma's neck. Ranma shifted to the side with uncanny speed, and then slammed a hoof into the rogue's cheek and pinned his head against the wall. The sword tumbled onto the floor, bouncing away until it eventually slipped off the platform entirely and plummeted to the ground.

"Look, if you won't tell me, then we'll just have to wait until Trix gets here. If you think she'll go easier on you than I will, you're in for an ugly surprise," Ranma explained.

"Okay! Okay, just... just calm down!" the sentry said, his voice quaking and sweat beading on his forehead. "What are you doing here? Did the others find you?"

Ranma frowned. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be the one asking questions."

"Look, it would help me out a lot if I knew I don't need to lie about anything, okay? Cut me some slack!" the bandit begged. "Morning Star wants you brought in anyway! You don't have to hurt anypony!"

"I don't know what this guy wants with me, and I don't care," Ranma said with a snort. "I'm gonna take all of you down! The villagers can figure out what to do with Morning Star after I'm through knocking him around a little and leave him in the middle of town with the rest of you jerks!"

The bandit blinked repeatedly. "Uh... Morning St-URK!" He yelped in pain when the pressure against his skull increased considerably.

"Bandit hideout! Mountains! Yes or no?" Ranma snapped.

"Yes! Fine! It's definitely in the mountains! No more! Please!" the raider gasped.

Trixie walked alongside the battered train tracks leading to the station, moving with a slightly awkward limp to put minimal pressure on her injured leg. She was obviously vulnerable at the moment - slowed, highly visible, and surrounded by rough terrain that could easily hide a dozen armed ponies from sight - but for now she was unconcerned. The bandits weren't expecting trouble to come crashing through their front door today, for whatever reason. Personally she was far more worried about thieves stumbling on the spot where they had hidden her wagon.

It's very strange that this Morning Star pony wanted to speak to Ranma without necessarily hurting him first. Does he want to recruit him? But that would be a dangerous proposition to make to an alleged rebel. Not all criminals are alike, after all. And Ranma's bounty is higher than Star's!

Trixie didn't really believe the bandits' claim that they had come in peace, but she found the more obvious explanation for their behavior equally questionable. Certainly the fight had resembled a botched diplomatic meeting more than a botched assassination attempt or a botched robbery, and the raiders had been far too eager to give up information.

A wail of terror came from above, and Trixie tilted her head to the side. A second later an unfamiliar earth pony hit the ground in front of her, bouncing off the hard-packed dirt and rolling to a stop just inches from her hooves.

"B... B... Bones..." croaked the stallion, his legs twitching and tears streaming down his face.

"So they did have sentries. These bandits really are disciplined," she mumbled, stepping over the quivering pony. She turned her head up and shouted toward the tower. "RANMA! Make sure there are no ambushes waiting! These thugs have half-decent defenses, and Trixie doesn't want any more bolts in her flank while you're sneaking around ahead!"

Ranma's head poked out of the bell tower. "I didn't find anything other than these two, but I'll check again. That guy next to you said we're on the right track to the hideout, though!"

"H-Help..." the bandit moaned, reaching out one leg toward Trixie.

Trixie didn't slow her pace, walking out of reach of the raider and closer to the train station. Ranma slid down the side of the bell tower and then hopped off near the bottom, immediately dashing off again.

The path up to the mountain range that bordered the valley was properly desolate and lacking any obvious signs of bandit activity. Some gangs might have spruced up the area around their hideout with scary signs, defensive barricades, or morbid examples of unfortunate victims, which generally defeated the entire point of a "hideout" in the first place. This gang, again, played it smart; aside from the sentry, who probably would have hidden if Ranma hadn't gotten to him first, there were no other signs that she was approaching anything other than a dusty, abandoned mine.

Trixie eventually spotted what they were looking for: a rickety-looking set of boards framing a tunnel that had been carved into the mountain. There were tracks outside the mine, but they were rusted and mostly dismantled. A sign was mounted above the frame, but its letters had completely worn off due to weather and damage. Cut into the wooden beam below it was a single word: Metalleus.

She stopped and frowned. "Ranma?"

The stallion suddenly skidded to a stop behind her, seemingly from nowhere. "Yeah? What's wrong? I couldn't find anyone else. It looks like we're clear!" He spotted the entrance in the side of the mountain. "Is that it? We found the base?"

"That's it, yes. Assuming the bandits weren't lying to us both times we cornered them." Trixie raised a hoof to her chin and narrowed her eyes.

"All right, I'll go in first and take out any bad guys," Ranma said, scuffing the ground with his hooves. "You can-"

"Ranma, let Trixie do the strategizing," she interrupted blithely.

"Why? What's wrong with my plan?" Ranma looked halfway between distressed and annoyed.

"'Rush in and beat up the bad guys' is not a plan. Besides, Trixie came along to help you clobber these lowlifes, not just carry away the loot after you're done with them," the unicorn sniffed. "On top of that, look at this arrangement! With an almost undefended entrance, these creeps definitely have something prepared inside for when somepony blunders into their home by accident. We can expect traps, or AT LEAST an alarm. Do you really want to fight off thirty angry ponies on your own, possibly while on fire?"

Ranma grimaced, and his ears flipped down. "Okay, okay, fine. What do you want to do instead?"

"Wellll..." Trixie's eyebrow arched, and then a wicked smile crossed her muzzle.

A loud whistle suddenly echoed through the cavern, piercing the damp, stuffy silence which usually dominated the mining tunnels.

Several bandits jumped in surprise, whipping around with weapons drawn, or woke up in an alarmed stupor at the noise. All were confused. The sound was completely unrecognizable to them; loud, long, and high-pitched. Then a moment later it was followed by a tremendous bang.

This sound was more familiar, as it reminded many of the criminals of explosives. Yet even in this respect the noise was... off. The detonation was loud, but there wasn't any tremor or rumble of settling earth, both of which they had come to expect from explosions within mining tunnels.

"Get up! Get up! Something's going down!" a brutish earth pony shouted, galloping into the main tunnel. "Somepony go get Morning Star! The rest of you, come with me!"

Swords, crossbows, and other instruments of battle were brandished, and the rogues flooded into the passage behind the earth pony. None had any idea what to expect as they followed the mining tracks toward the entrance, but they knew that the sound that had alerted them wasn't the camp's usual alarm. If an intruder, or even an army, had found their way into Metalleus then they would almost certainly get bogged down in the first few tunnels due to the magical and mechanical traps. But if triggering the traps hadn't been the cause of the noise in the first place, what had caused it?

This was the question at the forefront of the raiders' minds when they galloped around a corner and into a long, narrow entrance tunnel. The stallion in the lead skidded to a halt, and his heart leapt into his throat. After a few seconds, his surprise turned to confusion.

At the end of the hallway, past the numerous pressure plates and magic runes, was, well... himself. A big, muscular teal stallion with an axe in his jaws, standing off in the distance and looking confused. It wasn't easy to tell due to the dim light cast by the torches on the wall, but his copy was standing at the end of a very long stretch of rail car tracks considerably longer than the tunnel itself. Obviously an illusion.

As more ponies joined him and stumbled to a halt, they too appeared in the reflection at the end of the tunnel, staring back with confusion. Immediately the lead bandit understood what was happening.

"A mirror? What's a mirror doing here?"

More and more ponies crowded into the tunnel, staring curiously at the reflective panel. None of them could tell, at their current distance, where the boundaries of the mirror ended and the tunnel surface began, or even if it was a physical object. None of them really knew what to do about this, either. They had been expecting to catch an unfortunate wanderer or maybe a group of bounty hunters, not... whatever this was.

One unicorn in a cowl walked over to the wall and placed a hoof against it. His horn pulsed, and a series of large runic symbols cut into the wall flashed and then went dim. The alarms and the magic traps - which didn't easily discriminate between friend and foe - were deactivated.

"All right, everypony spread out a little. But watch your step and stay on the tracks!" barked the lead bandit. "Whatever we're dealing with, nopony gets past this point, okay?"

He began heading down the tunnel, his hooves falling either on the mining tracks or wooden ties that ran along the center of the path. The non-magical traps were installed to either side of the tracks in order to give the bandits a clear line in and out that could be easily navigated in the dark and allow them to use the mining carts to move goods. This necessarily meant that the raiders had to advance two at a time, in a slow-moving line, but half the mob remained in rearguard near the back, forming a veritable wall of furry muscle and weathered steel as a backup force.

While the advance group headed down the tunnel their reflections marched in unison, giving the entire affair a distinctly farcical feel while the disgruntled rogues stared themselves down. Some of the ponies searched for any signs of burns or craters, remembering that the sound that had drawn them sounded very much like a detonation. There was no obvious damage in the tunnel, however, and it was almost impossible to discern more subtle signs of damage with so little light.
The lead stallion stopped, and the entire column halted in an instant. His ear twitched, trying to pick up any sounds beyond the darkness. He tilted his head to the side, watching with increasing irritation as his reflection mimicked his movements at the end of the passage. He heard nothing. He saw nothing. No explosions, no intruders, no apparent damage to the tunnel. Nothing but his own reflection staring back at him in anxious confusion.

"All right, I've had enough of this," he growled. "Somepony take out that mirror! We'll do a sweep outside and then reset the traps. This looks like a waste of time."

A pegasus wordlessly raised his crossbow, and then fired a single bolt into his reflection at the end of the tunnel. The projectile sliced through the illusory mirror pane, instantly breaking it into a shower of glittering pink sparks. Then it embedded itself in the front of a mining cart.

The bandits started in confusion once again. Not that it was odd for mining carts to be in Metalleus; they were pretty much the only means of transportation and cargo carrying within the hideout. It WAS odd to find one hiding behind a magic mirror, though. Also, this one seemed to have some sort of red, rocket-shaped objects secured on the sides.

"Show time," said a voice from around the corner, at the end of the tunnel. A flash of pink briefly illuminated the cart more fully, and then a hissing noise came from the firework rockets attached to it.

"Wha-Hey! Wh-Who goes there?!" barked the lead bandit. He started backing up as his current circumstances dawned on him, only to bump into the other rogues crowded behind him along the tracks.

Teammates behind him, deadly traps on either side of him, and a big metal box in front of him with improvised explosive propulsion.

The fuses on the fireworks burned down to nothing, and the crackling hiss petered out before being replaced by a blazing roar.

The mining cart rocketed down the tunnel, its wheels squealing against the rusted axles and poorly maintained tracks. It smashed into the panicking bandits like a bowling ball, either throwing them aside by force or convincing those with better reflexes to abandon the track by choice.

Those that landed next to the tracks only found further punishment as their own traps were unleashed on them. Darts flew from the walls and ceiling, cutting down the rogues with a flurry of debilitating needles. Bear traps closed on stumbling hooves with jaws of steel. Razor-edged wire slashed through the air, ripping through meager leather armor and soft pony flesh. Cries of pain, shrieking metal, and bone-cracking impacts all mixed with the roar of the firework rockets as the advance guard was decimated. Even the few pegasi who managed to avoid the cart and hover over the ground were not spared, as the defenses had been installed to cripple entire platoons of invaders at once.

The bandits at the end of the tunnel scattered, diving away from the tracks before they were bowled over as well. The tracks curved gradually into a turn that followed the tunnels deeper into the mine, but the rocket-propelled cart was in no state to handle a minor course correction. The wheels wrenched free of the tracks, and the cart was sent spinning into a wall.

Then the fireworks exploded, splashing the tunnel with vibrant colored light and booming thunder.

Some of the rogues broke and ran, completely overwhelmed by the sudden noise and violence. The rest simply stayed put on the ground, hooves over their heads and tails curled around their flanks as they waited for the chaos to end.
And then, after nearly a minute of banging and bursts of neon-colored fire... it did.

"...... Is that... Is that it?" one stallion asked cautiously, his voice a near whimper. He swept his head back and forth, not daring to raise his head out of the dirt.

Groans and desperate sobbing came from further down the tunnel, but those ponies that were still unharmed disregarded it for now. After such a shocking bombardment, the rogues naturally expected some kind of general assault by whomever had done this. Surely no one would set up such a trap and smash through half their fighters only to back off and let them recover.

That was the sensible conclusion, and yet they heard nothing. No hooves stampeding down the tunnel, no roaring fireballs, and - mercifully - no more fireworks. One of the bandits jumped upright, suddenly incensed.

"That's it?! That's all you've got?!" he shouted into the darkness. "Come on! Get up, you tunnel rats! Get moving! Take them down!"

"Question..." mumbled another pony, timidly lifting a hoof. "What if that's not, in fact, all they've got? Who are we even fighting here?"

"Whoever it is, they don't even have the guts to fight us face-to-face!" the first bandit snarled, his teeth sinking into his sword's grip. "So pull yourself together and go-"

A mining cart slammed into the bandit, cutting him off with a pained yelp. It was the same mining cart that rammed through the initial vanguard, which mainly concerned the ponies because last they had seen it had crashed into a wall and collapsed upside-down.

"DAMN that was loud. Did it even work? I couldn't tell what happened what with all the explosions and screaming." Ranma grimaced and rubbed the side of his head.

The bandits stared at him in varying states of confusion and horror. A few of them scrambled to adopt a combat stance, while a few others actually dropped their weapons and fled.

"Oh. I guess we took out all those guys in the tunnel already? Yeah, okay. That worked pretty well, then," Ranma admitted.

A short sword swung toward his flank, and Ranma curved out of the way before lashing out with a hoof. He struck the bandit in the side of the head, knocking his weapon loose and stunning him, before a following back kick sent him flying back through the tunnel.

"Yeah, these guys are no threat anymore. TRIX!! I think we're clear until they come back with reinforcements!" Ranma hopped to the side when a crossbow bolt flew at him, and then dashed forward toward the shooter. A body slam threw the rogue into a rock wall with crushing force, and he slid to the ground with a shriek and a whimper.

He whirled around on another stallion that had been sneaking up on his flank with a pair of curved talons attached to his hoof. The bandit seized up upon being spotted, and then quickly lowered himself onto the ground.

"I'd like to negotiate my surrender, please," the bandit said, his voice a terrified squeak.

"I'm not really the guy to talk to for that," Ranma admitted, "hold on a sec."

He turned around to face the entry tunnel and spotted Trixie gingerly approaching over the mining tracks. She was being careful to only step on the rail ties, while also avoiding the various thugs scattered across the tunnel in varying states of agony.

"Hey, Trix! What should I do with prisoners?!" Ranma shouted.

"Prisoners? Why are you taking prisoners rather than just beating their heads in?" Trixie asked back.

"It wasn't me, this guy just surrendered before I-" A pair of steel hoof-talons arced toward his flank, and Ranma dove to the side, rolling across the dirt.

In an instant the martial artist had bounced upright and was darting toward the shocked and stuttering bandit. A hoof struck the rogue's claws hard enough to tear the weapon off, and then another one hit the stallion's jaw, knocking him to the side. A back kick finished the criminal pony, sending him skidding along the floor of the tunnel and into blissful unconsciousness.

Ranma frowned at the insensate raider, and then turned back to the entry tunnel. "Never mind about the prisoner!"

"TRY to be a little less credulous, would you?" Trixie sighed while stepping over a groaning stallion. "These ponies are cutthroats defending their livelihood, not a bunch of desperate peasants. They're not going to give up so easily."

A dark-furred shape suddenly rose in front of her and the magician recoiled, almost tripping over the tracks. It was the same stallion that had been leading the charge toward the entrance, although he had blood running down his muzzle and one of his legs was trembling badly. Trixie almost called for Ranma's help, but quickly gathered herself after taking stock of the stallion's injuries and deciding they were far worse than her own.

"And what do YOU want? You already helped clear the traps in Trixie's path; Trixie is done with you," she sneered.

"You punks... might think you're... clever..." the bandit's breath was heaving, and his eyes were clearly having trouble focusing on the mare in front of him. "Your tricks... won't work... on... Morning Star..." he spat.

The unicorn shrugged. "Trixie figured as much, actually. We were mostly planning to go the brute force route with the Head Thug. He IS in right now, isn't he?"

"Yeah," the rogue huffed. "He's... what?" His forehead creased, and his pained expression looked slightly dazed. "Morning... Morning Star is-"

"Yes, fine, whatever," Trixie sighed, gently pushing a hoof against the bandit.

He immediately toppled over onto his side, squeaking painfully when he hit the ground. Trixie walked past him without a second thought, speeding her pace slightly to get to Ranma.

"All right, Trixie doubts we'll be able to lay any more ambushes within the bandit's lair at this point. From here on out you're the star of the show, Havoc," Trixie said as she reached her traveling companion.

"Okay, Trix. Just stay close to me. These guys think they're sneaky," Ranma replied, leading them both down the corridor.

"Try not to fall for any more ruses, like ponies 'surrendering,'" the unicorn quipped, prodding her bodyguard with a hoof. "We're in their home, beating up their friends, and basically robbing them. None of these ponies are going to be laying down without a fight. They have too much to lose!"

"What if we corner Morning Star and take him down? Would they give up then? That's how it usually works, in my experience."

"Maybe. Just as often the thieves just wait for a chance to pounce and take over as head honcho," Trixie grumbled. "Let's work under the assumption that you're going to have to break every pony in this mine."

"Can do!" Ranma chirped, trotting faster down the tunnel.

Their path ahead was straightforward, following the cart tracks into the main cavern. In days long past, they constituted the primary staging area for miners working the tunnels and gathering ore to be transported to the surface. Nowadays it served as the bandits' central living space, where the thieves drank, ate, and socialized with each other when not out on missions or sleeping. These tunnels, unlike the entrance, had all the telltale signs of being lived in. Garbage was common, and many of the walls had shelving or were decorated with weapons and shields.

There were several rooms attached to the main tunnel, and Ranma stopped to check each one. Some had no door, others had wooden doors of varying strength, and a few doors were made of hammered iron and locked tight. Their uses tended to be self-evident at a glance; food stores, distilleries, latrines, bedding, or training halls. The locked doors presumably protected loot storage, although Ranma didn't take the time to rip them open; Trixie suspected they might be trapped, and reasoned there was no point in trying to loot the place while many of the occupants were working out a counter-attack. So they continued along the tracks.

What both Ranma and Trixie found odd, and increasingly ominous, is that there were no bandits in any of the rooms where the bandits would normally be sleeping, eating, or otherwise using. To be sure, most if not all of the ponies that lived in the mines would have been alerted to their presence by now, but with each new empty room they became more certain of an ambush awaiting them.

It didn't help that the light got worse deeper into the tunnel as well. The tunnels were mostly lit by mundane torches and oil lamps, along with the occasional magic jewel set in a ceiling cavity or wall fixture to provide illumination without the concern of running out of fuel. The further they advanced, however, the more torches had been put out and lamps stashed away. On purpose, certainly.

Trixie's horn flashed briefly, and then tossed a spark onto one of the extinguished torches on the wall. The resulting illumination didn't cover much of the tunnel ahead, but it stretched far enough to reach a pair of big wooden double doors blocking off the end.

"It looks like that's where the major cavern is. If there's going to be an ambush or a second line of traps, it will be there," Trixie grumbled.

Ranma moved up to the doors, leaning his side against one of them. Then he gently pushed the other open so that he could peek in on what was inside. He was slightly surprised the door wasn't locked, and not surprised at all to find that the space beyond the doorway was almost pitch dark.

"... They're here. Waiting for us in the dark," Ranma said, keeping his voice low. "I can sense them. Not quite as many as we took out near the entrance, but still a lot. You have a plan, or should I just jump in there?"

Trixie frowned, putting a hoof to her chin. "Let Trixie think... obviously it would be poor form to just stumble into an obvious ambush if we can lure them out instead or ruin their ambush. If we broke into their treasure stores, perhaps they-"

Ranma moved just a split second before the door he was leaning on was smashed into splinters. Trixie was tackled mid-sentence, and she screamed while they rolled along the ground just ahead of a spray of wooden shrapnel.

While the magician was too startled and panicked to make any sense of what was happening, Ranma's ears picked up the distinctive sound of rattling chains followed by the sound of steel striking steel. He wasn't entirely sure was to make of the noise absent any other context; a siege engine, maybe? It seemed strange to have such a device deep underground, but such a weapon would be a serious threat to him, at least.

"What the HAY was that?!" Trixie sputtered angrily, whipping her head back and forth.

"Not sure what broke the door," Ranma admitted, standing up. "I'm pretty sure we're not getting the jump on these guys, though."

Trixie was pondering whether she should even risk standing up when a mare's voice shouted out from the darkness.

"Oh, Haaaaavooooooc! Come on in, my dear! We've been waiting for you!" the voice chirped pleasantly.

Ranma was slightly surprised to hear a female among the bandit gang; every pony raider they'd encountered so far had been a stallion. Nonetheless, he set his jaw and marched into the darkness of the cavern. Trixie was left to her own devices, for now; whatever surprises lay in store he could probably weather better than her, and she seemed too stunned to offer any useful advice or orders for the moment.

He passed through the darkness at an easy trot, feeling the uneven rail ties beneath his hooves give way to proper wooden flooring. The ponies surrounding him remained still and silent. He could feel their tension easily; their anger and fear mixed together into an aura as visible as any torch to his martial artist's senses. But they didn't attack. And at the head of the band was... something else.

"Can we get a little light in here, boys? I want to see my sweetie's face!"

At that bizarre command, a pair of unicorn horns flashed.

Multiple torches all around the cavern flickered to life, as well as a few lanterns hanging from the ceiling and a pair of large braziers. Ranma was momentarily blinded, and he leapt backward on reflex, hitting the ground in a roll and then flipping upright in an instant. He landed in a crouch, his legs tense as wound springs.

"Oh, my! You're a jumpy one, aren't you?" giggled the mare.

After a few seconds, Ranma's vision adjusted to the new light. The cavern had been floored with wood and was well-furnished, with numerous benches and tables laid out in the expansive space. As expected, the remaining bandits were waiting behind barricades in a ring surrounding the room; some were purpose-built, with metal shielding and spikes, while others were simply more tables turned onto their sides. Less expected was that the ponies weren't firing at him; all were armed with crossbows or throwing weapons of some sort, but every one of them was waiting nervously rather than trying to capitalize on his brief vulnerability.

At the other end of the cavern was a tall staircase leading up from a raised wooden platform. Upon the platform sat the pair of brass braziers, and standing between them was a mare.

She had charcoal-black fur with a long, shining blond mane that seemed distinctly out of place in a dingy, abandoned cave full of criminals. A cutie mark of a sword, pointed down and wrapped in chain, was displayed prominently on her hip. Her body was quite lithe and feminine, but at the same time she was surprisingly large and muscular compared to most of the other mares he had met. Surely she had to be, considering the set of four huge greaves she had on.

Ranma stared at the armored leggings. They were massive compared to her actual legs, composed of a segmented metal sleeve and knee hinge that were wrapped up in chains. Big, ridged horseshoes almost two inches thick were mounted on the bottom, boosting the mare's height above the various stallions in the room. They had clearly seen actual combat, too; the horseshoes' edges had small dents and divots that he could easily make out from a distance.

His eyes narrowed. Ranma had seen his fair share of weapons and armor, but he couldn't guess what the purpose of the chains on her greaves could possibly be for. He did notice, however, that there was no siege device or heavy weapon in this cavern as he had initially guessed. Curious.

"Like what you see, Havoc?" the mare asked, grinning sweetly. She turned to one side, showing off her flank and cutie mark and flicking her tail. "You'll get more than an eyeful soon enough. But first, I guess we have to sort out all this... other unpleasantness."

She sighed, and her ears drooped. "Considering I haven't heard a thing from the boys I sent to get you and the way you welcomed yourself in like this, I'm guessing you rejected the offer they were supposed to make. I hope you didn't kill the poor saps. Hammer Time was one of my favorites." She pouted, fluttering her long eyelashes at the martial artist.

"They'll live long enough to enjoy a nice, long stay in jail," Ranma said dismissively. He twisted his head to one side, cracking his neck while his eyes scanned his opponents. "So, where are we at, here? Do you wanna go get Morning Star now and let me take him down right away, or is he going to make me beat up all his henchmen first?"

The armored mare blinked, and then furrowed her brow. "'Henchmen'?"

"Fine, I guess you're a henchwoman. Er... or a hench... mare?" Ranma shook his head. "Look, I'm here to beat up your boss, okay? Don't make this complicated. Where's Morning Star?"

"Morning Star is standing in front of you," Morning Star deadpanned.

Ranma was silent for several seconds, staring up at her.

Then he tilted to one side, looking to see if there was another pony behind her.

There was not.

"Oh. So you're Morning Star," Ranma said, his ears flipping down. "Great."

The bandit leader didn't seem especially bothered by his obvious disappointment. "Welcome to Metalleus, Havoc. I promise you: that's the LEAST of the surprises we have in store..."

Author's Note

Boss battle WOOOOOOOOO later though.
I know you guys have been waiting for a long time and this is PROBABLY kind of a let-down but at least the story is still moving, yeah? :twilightblush:

Spark

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 6
Spark

It had taken mere days to locate the artifact lab. It had taken longer to restore it to some level of useful function.

So much had been lost in that crucial, agonizing moment. A flash of pique, a surge of magic, and the tower had been ripped apart. Much in the way of supplies and basic infrastructure, obviously, were annihilated by Swan Song's catastrophic magic attack or ruined in the aftermath. Decades of carefully accumulated knowledge and research, some of it entirely unique the world over, was gone or irretrievably buried. Miraculous feats of magic and critical observations became dust in an eye blink, never to aid ponykind.

The artifact lab, carefully separated into the very top of the tower and protected by special barriers, had fared slightly better. Launched from the rest of the collapsing tower like a rocket, it smashed itself to pieces miles away from the blast. Some of the all-important devices and artifacts within were shielded or hardened thanks to their magical properties. Most were not. Irreplaceable treasures had been reduced to mere debris, barely distinguishable from the bits of stone wall and shattered furniture. Most of the books from that room had survived, however, and were mostly legible after being dug out from the rubble.

It was a small fraction of Blood Rite's research. A great many of his plans and options were gone now, closed off to him thanks to the intervention of a mysterious vengeful warrior, a meddling stage magician, and the boneheaded lust of his very own partner in revolution. The way forward was narrow now, and the future it rewrote would be uglier.
But there was still a way forward.
There could still BE a future.

"... The calculations are correct. The spells are ready. This... This could work. But there is so much more to do."

Blood Rite stood over a small table littered with torn, dirty notes and various glittering jewels. The pony's fur was matted and filthy. He had dark bags under his eyes, and he had lost a considerable amount of weight as well. His cloak, magically reinforced as it was, bore several new burns, stains, and tears. He was visibly exhausted and weakened; a shadow of the stallion he had been on that fateful day that Swan Song had inadvertently crippled his rebellion. But he was not defeated.

Behind the table was a pile of large rocks. Some were boulders larger than a pony, while others were small stones carefully carved into strange shapes. All were sanded smooth and eggshell-colored, with runic inscriptions cut into rings and lines over much of the surface area.

"So much effort and study, and yet even now the greatest weapon I've ever built is still just an inert lump of rubble," Rite groused. "I'll need to deploy it at the right time and place, when Equestria's defenders have their guard down. But before that... I need a power source."

Blood Rite closed his eyes. The MacGuffin Stone was to the southeast. Waiting for him. Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.

The sorcerer felt anger swell in his chest, as it usually did when he stopped his work to detect the artifact. The inexplicable MacGuffin Sense was crucial to his success now more than ever, and yet he could honestly say he hated this ability. To be an eye blink away from seeing the means to his triumph at any time when it lay so far out of reach was a unique and altogether brutal psychological torment.

Even now, after weeks of planning and recovery and rebuilding, Blood Rite didn't know how he might recover the MacGuffin Stone. Havoc, or whatever his name was, was too strong. Too wily. Too unpredictable. He could tell it was the stallion who had the artifact, too; had Celestia recovered the stone, it would have been carried to Canterlot and locked in some arcane vault protected by magic Blood Rite had long ago mastered and guards whom he could overcome with minimal effort.

The martial artist was different. Even after so many battles Rite had witnessed, and having personally felt the crushing strength of his hooves several times, somehow Havoc still remained a wild card. Blood Rite suspected he only had the barest idea of what the stallion was capable of. In truth, the reverse was also true; Rite had hardly unleashed anything close to his full power against the transformed primate. But Blood Rite could only escalate their conflict so far. Although his sheer frustration and lack of better options could eventually lead to an all-out assault against the rogues meddling in his revolution, doing so could permanently cripple him and ruin his ultimate efforts at reforming the Equestrian royal order. And that was if he won.

Blood Rite swept several pages of notes to the side of his desk, and then paused to rub his eyes. He looked around his workspace in a miserable daze. Broken crystals, shimmering lenses, and dirty laboratory equipment was stacked on bookcases salvaged and hammered together with wooden debris. To the other side, huge wheels and misshapen chunks of enchanted metal lay against the wall. Behind him, cheap sacks of grain doubled as both food and bedding. All of it packed tight into an ebony cave smaller than the bedchambers of his last residence.

"To think, there was a time in which I considered my exile from Canterlot to be the nadir of my life and the highest possible humiliation," Rite groused. "I'll need to make my move soon. Everything hinges on the MacGuffin, now more than ever. And just as before, that accursed ape stands in my way... Havoc..."

Trixie hummed happily to herself while her wagon trundled down the road, her magic wrapped around the stem of a feather quill.

For the first time in weeks her mood was cheerful and her outlook impenetrably sunny. She had done it. The Great and Powerful Trixie had actually passed through a region without causing a tremendous mess and stirring up a new batch of bounty hunters and guards, and she had done so at a tremendous personal profit. The Morning Star gang was shattered, the citizens of Venom Valley had funds to rebuild, and the raiders' ill-gotten loot would be put to much better use as a personal investment for Trixie's convenience. Ranma had (as usual) recovered from being beaten half to death with a single night's rest and was towing the cart again. The bandits she had been using as temporary labor had slinked off without incident the moment they were no longer needed. Her plan had worked. A complete, unqualified success.

Trixie levitated a coin pouch into the air, and her eyes gleamed as a trail of shining gold bits spilled from one bag into another. The clinking of bits was musical, and the numbers she was writing down in her personal records made her feel giddy. So many problems had been crushed beneath the swift tactical application of muscle and explosives! And to think; the loot that she had scavenged from Morning Star's room was merely a chunk of the gang's total wealth, most of it abandoned due to the limited carrying capacity of her travel wagon! And even the gang's collective possessions were probably worth less than the combined bounties of all the thugs she had left in various states of injury and humiliation. She almost envied the bounty hunters' trade! Such generous rewards for defeating such cowardly and feeble-minded targets could easily be a pony's ticket to early retirement.

Then again, those same bounty hunters were also tasked with hunting down Ranma Saotome and bringing him to justice, a job she wouldn't envy even with an army behind her and every bit in the world for reward. The revisions made to the bounty on her bodyguard made the task less deadly, at least; insisting that Ranma be taken alive and including a warning that magic was ineffective would warn off the less experienced or less discriminating hunters. But the jump in the reward total made it clear that Canterlot wasn't even close to giving up on securing the martial artist even as they revised the list of crimes down to something more reasonable (and more difficult for him to deny).

Trixie sighed happily and rolled onto her back, levitating her papers to hover over her. In a way, it would be disappointing to finally purchase her new wagon and get back to putting on magic shows for random townsfolk. Her time as a for-profit adventurer had been lucrative, and her illusionist skills had proven quite useful in duping random villains. Combined with Ranma's brawn and his penchant for stumbling upon enemies, they'd made quite a team.

She shook her head, snickering at her own foolishness. As exciting and profitable as fighting evil could be, Trixie preferred mortal danger to be confined to the stories she lavished upon her adoring audience. As great as it felt to break the back of a criminal operation, she could also feel the faint echo of pain from taking a hoof crossbow bolt to the hip. It was the most minor of combat wounds, literally the least she should expect for taking a stand against a small army of bandits. It was also a reminder that when facing hardened criminals she was often a single muscle twitch away from losing a leg. Or an eye. Or, as almost happened against Morning Star, her entire head. Trixie didn't hesitate to play the part of the haughty, invincible wizard when the situation called for it, but constant mortal danger just wasn't what she was looking for in a career.

The cart stopped. "Trix?"

Trixie instantly steeled herself, and a dozen spells flitted through her mind that may or may not be useful depending on whatever hazard was in front of them. Was it bounty hunters? Guards? Brigands? Monsters? Traps? Rough terrain? Outwardly she didn't flinch or start searching her surroundings, but casually shifted her position atop the wagon to make herself a smaller target for any incoming projectiles. "Yes? Is something wrong?"

"Looks like the next town's up ahead. Is this where we're headed?"

Trixie deflated, shaking her head while she pushed herself up. She always felt slightly silly nowadays when she caught herself on edge over nothing. She wasn't worried about becoming paranoid, as half the time she really WAS attacked by villains or weathering random explosions, but overreacting was bad for her image of casual superiority.

Standing up, Trixie saw that they had reached a split in the road. A signpost was planted at the crux of the intersection, listing the nearby settlements and regions and pointing in their general direction.

"Let's see, that way is where we came from on the way to the valley, so that sign must say 'Fillydelphia,'" Ranma mumbled, squinting at the proper arrow. Then he tilted his head to see the other sign. "Uhm... Luh... La? Lam? Lamb-something? Is this a sheep city?"

"It says 'Lancanter,' Ranma," Trixie said with a sigh. "Really, we have to get you some school textbooks or something. To be unable to read at your age is just embarrassing."

"I CAN read! I'm not illiterate!" Ranma bristled angrily, rounding on the unicorn. "You can't blame me for not being able to read and write a foreign language! It was ridiculously convenient enough that you all speak English! I can't even tell if you guys are writing English too, or write it the way humans do, or... or whatever!"

"Okay, okay. Give it a rest," Trixie grumbled. "Anyway, we're going to Lancanter. It's a trade town, so they must have wagon carpenters."

Ranma turned onto the correct path and picked up speed again, still sulking. "Is there anything I should do while we're there?"

"Yes. Stay quiet and stay out of trouble," Trixie drawled. "Trixie may have to commission the wagon rather than simply picking one out of a lot. Meaning we may have to stay here for weeks, so Trixie can't afford to get driven out of town."
Ranma groaned, and his ears flipped down. "C'mon Trix, you know I'm not TRYING to get into trouble in town..."

"Trixie knows, and that's why Trixie trusts you to come along rather than setting up a camp here in the woods and making you wait until it's all done," the magician said in a tone usually reserved for mothers chiding troublesome colts. "With all this treasure in the wagon it will be a prime target for thieves, but try NOT to start any fights! Are we clear?"

"Yes. Clear," Ranma mumbled.

"Good." Trixie nodded sharply. "Things are actually looking up after taking on the Morning Star gang, so Trixie hopes our good fortune lasts at least through our next stop. With much of this money spent and a decent place to sleep that isn't patrolled by guards, we might actually avoid a lot of scrapes in the future, too."

Ranma didn't respond while he trotted down the road. Trixie went back to studying her earnings, but the martial artist's thoughts were equally preoccupied.

Am I losing track of what I'm doing here? I'm trying to get home, right? But how? What am I even supposed to be doing now? Hunting down Blood Rite, maybe? Would that even help?

It was a topic that often came to mind recently when he was between harrowing battles and random labors. Ranma was, ultimately, a human lost on an unfamiliar world. In theory, this was a temporary arrangement. He had the MacGuffin Stone, which is what sent him to Equestria in the first place, so now it was just a matter of finding out how it could be used to send him back. That's how these things worked.

In theory.

I don't know where Blood Rite is, but if I did manage to catch him, could he even help me get back? Does anyone else know anything about the MacGuffin Stone? I feel like I'm wandering totally blind, here. And Trixie is...

His expression darkened. Ranma couldn't tell when he had started taking it for granted that he would be traveling with Trixie indefinitely. Trixie, for her part, seemed to have reached the same unspoken conclusion; she now planned their travels around their food stores and the concentration of local guards and mercenaries, and considered every stop in terms of how long they could stay before they were forced to retreat from town.

The food stores that he ate through at thrice the pace that she did. The guards and mercenaries that he attracted with his outrageous bounty. The retreats that were necessary because he would get into fights, or be discovered by the law, or explode, or be subject to some other completely random act of fate that nonetheless would never had happened had Trixie been on her own.

Ranma felt guilty about it. It was an unusual reaction, for him. He was used to freeloading and occasionally flat-out stealing to get by. Trixie made him work for his keep, which meant this arrangement was far closer to a real job than he'd ever had in the past. Even causing constant grief and property damage for his host was a time-honored Saotome tradition that had never bothered him before. Yet somehow, it felt... different this time.

Maybe it was because Trixie had initially volunteered her aid out of reluctant empathy and benevolence. Maybe it was the way that helping him had rapidly escalated from giving him food to conspiring against her country's laws and soldiers. Maybe it was her increasingly common brushes with injury and death. Maybe it was how Trixie complained about all those things frequently to remind him of her burdens, even while she kept helping him.

Ranma had started ruminating on this topic regularly since fleeing Fillydelphia, ever since Trixie had walked away from a stallion who she'd once described as her ideal mate. Trixie had rejected Blueblood and, as far as Ranma could tell, had completely forgotten about the Prince who only days ago had offered her a life of luxury and royal companionship. This was enormously convenient for him, and Trixie herself had shrugged off the entire incident as a meaningless whim, but it kept gnawing at Ranma regardless. What did it mean that she had turned down Blueblood but seemed committed to making her living with him? Trixie no longer acted as if their partnership was a temporary arrangement of (in)convenience. Was it something more now? Was their relationship still a strictly professional arrangement? Did she expect anything more of him? Would she still let him pursue a way to go home if he got a lead somehow?

Did he even want to go home anymore?

The question made him distinctly uncomfortable. Ranma wasn't the introspective sort, as anyone who had spent more than a day in his presence could attest, but this issue gnawed at him. He felt like he could easily settle into his current circumstances: lost on another world, being supported by a snarky, egotistical magician, getting into fights, and being persecuted by a very annoying but frankly ineffective royal order. Pony form aside, it didn't even compare unfavorably to his life on Earth, honestly. He rather preferred to have explosive pain delivered upon him as unintentional happenstance from a magic allergy rather than the willful misunderstanding and vengeful anger of his fiancée.

But that wasn't right. He couldn't just give up on his home world and his home family because he'd made a friend here in Equestria. It wasn't fair to his parents. It wasn't fair to his fiancées. And it definitely wasn't fair to Trixie.

Then again, I don't know if everyone back home would even want me back like this. Ranma grimaced to himself, staring down at his hooves. I mean, they should, since a bunch of the idiots back home turn into animals anyway, but I'm pretty sure Pops would sell me to a racetrack or something. Maybe turning back to human should be priority one? Not that I have any more clue how to do that than get home.

"Ranma, is something wrong? You've been making that 'trying hard to think and failing' face for a while now. Trixie is worried you'll walk us into a ditch if you're not paying attention."

The martial artist flinched, surprised at the interruption to his thoughts. "N-No... I, uh... I'm just... hungry! Yeah. I could really go for a snack right now! I barely had anything for lunch!"

"That was an hour ago, and you ate every last scrap of food that we took from the bandit den," Trixie deadpanned. "Trixie realizes it must take a lot of calories to recover overnight from being beaten within an inch of your life, but surely you can wait until we reach town."

Ranma shrugged, jostling the harness over his withers. "Okay, sure. Is this Lancanter place a fort town, or another one of those little border villages full of criminals?"

"Neither," Trixie replied curtly. "This region isn't part of the far-flung frontier or adjacent to any dangerous forests, so it's pretty big and normal. Low crime, not too many guards, and lots of money. Just as Trixie likes it!"

Her horn glowed, and she levitated Ranma's cape out of her wagon. "It might be as full of bounty hunters as any other town, though, so keep a low profile. You're still as valuable as ever to any stray vigilantes looking for an early retirement."

Ranma stretched his neck up as the cape and hood settled over him. A thread of glowing pink light straightened the fabric over his back, and then fixed the clasp under his neck. The MacGuffin Stone, still mounted on the fabric clasp, gleamed in the early afternoon sun.

"Thanks, Trix."

"You're welcome, Havoc."

Ranma cringed. "Trix, you don't have to call me that anymore. Even the bounty posters are using my real name, now."

"Which is why we need it more than ever!" Trixie explained firmly. "How many other 'Ranma Saotomes' do you think there are in Equestria? Nopony's going to forget a name like that! There's no point in disguising you if we're just going to give away your extremely conspicuous name to anypony in earshot. They'd track you down in hours! As long as you're wanted, you still need a second identity!"

The stallion groaned. "Why do we have to use Havoc, though? I can come up with a new name! Like... uh... Swift Fist! Or Rocket Punch! Yeah, I like Rocket Punch!"

"Ew, no. We're sticking with Havoc," Trixie insisted. "It's short, unremarkable, punchy - no pun intended - and highly descriptive. Some of Trixie's best work!"

"I hate it, though!"

"Lots of ponies hate their names, Havoc. But our names are a part of us." Trixie's tone shifted as she lectured him, sounding like a tour operator showing off an exhibit. "Pony names aren't just idle, arbitrary identifiers, like they are among, say, the griffons. They're a piece of our destiny just like our cutie marks! You noted yourself that ponies have names that seem to be connected to our skills and careers. Wagon Thief, Blueblood, Morning Star, and even Twilight Sparkle herself are all very clear examples!"

"I don't get the Twilight Sparkle thing," Ranma admitted.

Trixie paused, frowning. Then she suddenly perked up and smirked. "Twilight is the period connecting day and night, and so our fair Princess united the Princess of the Sun, Celestia, with her long lost sister and Princess of the Night, Luna. As for Sparkle, it no doubt refers to her being Equestria's glimmer of hope during the onset of dark and troubled times. Or maybe she really likes glitter or something. One of those."

"Huh... I don't really know what you're talking about with the sisters, but I guess it sounds right..."

Trixie nodded happily. "No doubt you're also wondering about Trixie's name! Well-"

"No, I'm not. I get it. It's really obvious," Ranma interrupted, much to Trixie's annoyance. "But anyway, I don't see what any of that has to do with me! I wasn't born as Havoc or Calamity, it's something you started calling me because you thought my real name was weird!"

"And it fits," Trixie insisted. "That's the key. I mean, your actual name doesn't even mean anything."

"In my language it does!" Ranma retorted. "It means 'untamed horse'!"

Trixie blinked repeatedly in surprise. Ranma huffed irritably and picked up his pace as he spotted buildings down the road.

"......... Well, that's a little TOO on-the-nose," Trixie mumbled. "Besides, nopony but you even speaks your crazy human language. We'll stick with Havoc."

"English is a human language too," Ranma grumbled.

"Pipe down Havoc, the town's just ahead."

In comparison to the other towns Ranma had visited and explored, Lancanter seemed an idyllic, untroubled place. Small garden fences seemed to mark the town's border rather than heavy wooden walls. The roads were worn but well-maintained cobblestone and the buildings ranged from straw-thatched cottages to multi-story buildings as one got closer to the town center. Ponies were everywhere, either going about their daily business or socializing in the public spaces. The place was alive with the sounds of equine civilization, from the clatter of busy hooves and barking dogs to the bells attached to various carts and trolleys.

The atmosphere was palpably different from the other large pony towns Ranma had visited, to say nothing of the bandit-infested villages they'd been forced to cross through. The air seemed alive and energized, and Ranma's martial senses seemed to relax for the first time in what felt like weeks. Everything about the town exuded safety and a gentle peace.

"There. That's perfect!" Trixie announced suddenly. "Havoc, take a left."

Ranma did as instructed at the next intersection, and he soon saw what Trixie was referring to. A sheet metal warehouse occupied an entire block on its own, and scattered in front of it were numerous large wooden furniture pieces of various shapes. A fenced yard sat to the side, and Ranma could see the roofs of small structures within.

"Stop here and guard the wagon," Trixie ordered once Ranma rolled up next to the entrance. "Trixie has no reason to expect thieves in a place like this, but it would be just Trixie's luck to lose our funds right outside the store." She started climbing down the side of the wagon.

"Hey Trix, what's that?" Ranma asked, pointing a hoof down the street.

Trixie paused, checking his line of sight. Further down the road was a huge striped tent surrounded by small shacks, stalls, and crowds of ponies. Balloons swayed in the mid-afternoon wind, and she could hear the faint sound of peppy music.

"That's called a circus, Havoc. It's like Trixie's show, but much larger and tackier. Did they not have circuses in humanland?" Trixie explained.

"Yes, I know that's a circus," Ranma clarified. "I was asking about the cages."

A block up from the circus were several large iron cages built into wheeled carriages. Within the cages, as one might expect, were various dangerous animals. There was a timberwolf, an enormous Venus flytrap, a crocodile that appeared to be made out of rocks, and a saber-toothed tiger with fur of icy frost or something (Ranma was trying not to focus on that particular beast).

"That's the menagerie. You know, exotic and terrible creatures that are forced to do tricks for our amusement? Is there something odd about that?" Trixie asked impatiently.

"Animals made out of wood and rocks are pretty odd, yeah. Is that safe?" he wondered aloud.

"Those cages look sturdy enough to Trixie, but don't go banging on them," Trixie warned. "In fact, you probably shouldn't go near those things at all. Just sit here and keep watch, okay?"

"I wasn't going to go mess with them or anything," Ranma protested.

"Trixie is sure you weren't, but you're not always a willful participant in catastrophe," the magician retorted. Then she smirked and pressed a hoof against his nose. "Stay here and be good, Havoc. If you manage to last this whole evening without getting in a fight, Trixie will treat you to dinner!"

Ranma thought it was odd for Trixie to speak as if she didn't buy all of the food he ate anyway, but at the mention of dinner he perked up and his bubbling irritation evaporated. He nodded curtly, and Trixie winked at him before trotting up to the warehouse.

"... We really have gotten close, haven't we?" Ranma sat down next to the wagon and sighed after the door shut behind Trixie. "Would it really be so bad, even if I had a choice? To just... keep doing this, day in and day out? This place sucks, but it... isn't really any worse than Nerima. Hmmm..."

Down the street, next to the iron cages containing the various circus animals, a pony dressed up as a clown was pulling a cart stacked high with slabs of meat before a crowd of wide-eyed spectators. A metal ring bounced against his hip while he walked, the attached keys jingling just loudly enough to be heard over the rumbling growls of the trapped predators.

The ponies watching generally backed away to give the circus worker space, but one stallion wearing a long robe and obscuring hood did not. Once the clown set his cart, he stopped to look around and noticed the hooded figure standing apart from the rest of the ponies.

"Pardon me, Sir! Please back up a few paces! It's feeding time, and it could get a bit messy!" The clown chuckled, grinning widely and slapping a hoof against the bright red steaks stacked up next to him.

The hooded pony hesitated, and then slowly did as requested, backing away into the group of mostly younger equines. "Are those real steaks? From what source?"

"Nah, they aren't real." The clown pony squeezed his hoof against one of the meat slabs, demonstrating the lack of blood or fatty residue. "It's all soy-based meat substitute. Otherwise we'd rack up quite a body count trying to keep these guys fed! Ha!"

The hooded stallion tilted his head to the side. "Meat substitute? The animals don't mind that?"

"Well, I can't say they wouldn't prefer the real thing, but we try to avoid that for obvious reasons! I assure you they're all quite healthy, though!" The clown wagged a leg at the spectator. "The important thing is that they're nice and full by the time the shows start! Don't want them snacking on the ringmaster! Or the audience! Ha ha!"

"Ah, I see. That would be quite unfortunate, yes." The slightest glimmer of light seemed to come from beneath the stallion's hood. "Still, I'm surprised that such vicious beasts could be controlled. Especially if held on a vegetarian diet."

"Eh, these guys are all instinct. Learn their moods and they're honestly less trouble than most customers!" The clown leaned forward with a wink. "Lemme tell ya, I've met plenty of colts that would be well served by an hour or two in a cage."

He chuckled to himself for a few seconds, but then a nervous yelp interrupted him.

"M-Mister! The c-cage!" one of the other ponies was staring forward, slack-jawed, with a foreleg rigidly pointed toward the cragodile cage. Several others were either frozen in abject horror or slowly backing away.

The clown blinked in confusion, and then twisted his head around. Both his eyebrows jumped when he saw his key ring floating in the air next to the heavy iron lock of the cragodile's cage, surrounded by glittering white magic. His ears pinned back to his head when one of the keys plunged into the lock, settling into place with a sharp click.

"Um... th-this isn't how we f-feed the..."

The key twisted. The door opened. The screams started.

"... but the feature in particular that Trixie is looking for is a hinged siding. It needs to open to the wagon interior, and rest over the ground to form a raised platform. Ideally it folds twice, for a larger platform; Trixie could use the extra room."
Inside the warehouse, Trixie floated several drawings in front of an earth pony mare with a hacksaw for a cutie mark. All around her were stacks and conglomerations of carved wood and small pools of sawdust, and the air smelled persistently of varnish.

"So what are you looking for as far as dimensions? Is fifteen feet long enough?" the carpenter asked, speaking around a nail clenched in her jaw like a toothpick.

"Fifteen is probably enough, so long as it contains a decent bed. Trixie has a very capable wagon colt, but she doesn't want it to be too heavy to move without him in case he's knocked out or explodes or something," the magician mused, rubbing her chin with her hoof.

"Knocked out... or explodes? Pardon?" the carpenter mumbled, her brow furrowing.

"It's nothing. But on that note, if there's any kind of extra frame reinforcement or fire-proofing that Trixie can buy as an extra feature Trixie would love to hear about it," the unicorn said, rolling up her papers.

"Well, there is a special magic varnish we can use to fire-proof it, but it's mighty pricey."

"Magic varnish? Is it magic-reactive, or is the spellwork only involved in the product mixing?"

A droplet of sweat rolled down the carpenter's head. "Uhh... I, um..."

"Trixie's sorry to get so technical, but it's likely a matter of life and death," Trixie continued. "If you don't know, then we'd better not risk it. It would be quite a hazard to have a wagon he couldn't touch."

"He?" the carpenter asked. "Your wagon colt?"

"Yes."

"I don't get it, but okay. If there are two of you, are you going to need room for an extra bed?"

"No. One bed is enough."

The other mare's lips pulled into a smirk. "Aaah... so that's why you're looking for some extra frame reinforcement."

"Hah hah," Trixie drawled, rolling her eyes. "It's nothing like that, not that it's any of your business. Trixie just doesn't want to have to pay for redundant living space. Trixie already has to carry around ten times the amount of food stocks thanks to him."

The carpenter mare chuckled for a few more seconds, and then rolled the nail between her teeth to the other side of her jaw. "Well Miss Trixie, I think we have what you're looking for. A few of our craft wagons open up on the side for additional working space; we have a few in stock right now, although they might not be quite what you're looking for. If they don't meet your needs, then we can whip up a custom order."

A series of muffled shouts came from outside, followed by a crash.

The carpenter's ears perked up immediately. "What was that? Did you hear something?"

"Oh, for Celestia's sake," Trixie hissed under her breath. Then she quickly cleared her throat. "Why don't we look at those wagons now? Trixie would prefer not having to order a custom item."

"What? Oh, sure," the other mare was staring at the door, along with the other employees in the room. "You did hear that, though, right? I thought-" A pink glow suddenly pushed against her rear, and the carpenter squeaked as she was shoved toward the display yard.

"Trixie is a very busy pony and doesn't have time to deal with random adjacent catastrophes," the magician insisted firmly. "Hurry! Hurry!"

Trixie threw a pair of double doors open at the end of the warehouse, leading the carpenter out into the yard. There were several projects out on display, from carts to sheds to elaborate cigar store bison carvings. There was also a considerable amount of panicked yelling audible from the other side of the fence that separated the yard from the street.

"These are your travel wagons, right?" Trixie quickly turned toward the corner, spotting several large, enclosed wagons parked in a wide semi-circle. "How heavy is that big one? Is it too much for a single pony to pull?"

"What the blazes is going on out there?" Despite Trixie's efforts, the carpenter was quite distracted by the ruckus. "It sounds like somepony's in danger! I should call the police!"

"Before you do that, could you at least demonstrate the platform feature you mentioned before?" Trixie's tone shifted from anxious and demanding to almost pleading. "This is important!"

A hefty thump came from the street, followed by a feral snarl.

"Get offa me, you ugly rock pile!"

Trixie firmly suppressed a scream when she heard Ranma's angry shout, followed by another impact. The carpenter pony narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Do you know something about this, Miss Trixie?"

"Nothing but errant speculation, Trixie assures you!" Trixie shouted. Her protests sounded awkward and unconvincing even to her, in no small part because she had to shout over the noise. "But surely somepony else has contacted the authorities by now and they're already on their way to resolve whatever it is going on out there so there's no serious impediment to conducting business as usual and selling-"

"HI-YAAH!!"

The shout startled Trixie out of her breathless rant, and she winced when she heard a heavy impact from the street. Her ears pinned back when the fence on the yard perimeter shattered and an angry cragodile tumbled across the ground. Then she slapped a hoof into her face while the injured beast rolled over several display objects, ranging from sheds to outdoor furniture, crushing them to splinters. Her teeth clenched after the carpenter screamed and began scrambling away in terror.

The cragodile skidded to a stop on its back, and then thrashed about wildly for several seconds. Its tail whipped back and forth, demolishing several other woodworks, and then it finally managed to flip itself upright. It swiftly turned its body around to face the new hole in the fence, and Trixie barely ducked before its huge, stone-covered tail whipped over her head, swatting off her hat.

The reflex came easily enough that she wasn't especially panicked by a gigantic, rocky tendril nearly smearing her across the ground like an obnoxious insect. She was absolutely livid, however, when the tail clipped the side of the wagon she had been looking at and smashed in part of the paneling. The entire structure shook from the blow and rocked back and forth, and Trixie detected several ominous cracking noises from its wheels and axles.

"HEY!" Ranma appeared outside the hole in the fence, looking somewhat ragged and sporting a few gashes on one leg. "Get away from her!"

The cragodile snarled and lunged, crossing the yard with terrifying speed and snapping at the stallion with jaws larger than Ranma's entire body.

Ranma jumped, letting the circus animal's maw snap shut underneath him. He twisted into a kick, striking the cragodile's back hard enough to break through the rock layer, and the maybe-reptile growled in pain.

"HAVOC!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

Ranma couldn't help but wince at the scream, but he didn't let up his offensive. "Little busy, Trix! Yell at me later!" He started slamming his back legs into the back of the cragodile's head even as it angrily thrashed about.

"Trixie can't take you ANYWHERE!" the magician shouted, shaking her hoof at the scuffle. "Trixie told you not to go near the animals!"

"It broke out of its cage and started chasing people! What was I supposed to do?!" the martial artist retorted.

The cragodile, irritated and increasingly dizzy from the multiple serious blows to the head, suddenly rolled over onto its back. Ranma shifted with the motion immediately, running along the moving body of flesh and stone to stay on top of it, and soon he was standing on the beast's belly. A shed that had been so far unscathed in the battle was destroyed when the cragodile's tail crashed into it, but neither combatant seemed to notice.

"Its belly! Of course! That's gotta be a weak spot!" Ranma decided. Really, the smooth, dark plates of stone under his hooves didn't seem any softer or more vulnerable than the rest of it, but so far much of this world seemed to operate on video game logic and he didn't see any reason for it to stop now.

"Havoc, wait! First lead it out of-"

Trixie's shouted advice went unheard, and Ranma flipped into the air before slamming both hind legs down into the cragodile's stomach. A loud crack issued from the animal's abdominal plates, and its eyes bulged.

Then it went into an absolute frenzy, rolling and thrashing wildly from the pain. Ranma leapt off before he could get trampled, landing a safe distance away while the cragodile lashed out blindly.

"Ha! Bet you felt THAT!" Ranma taunted. "Want to head back to your cage now?!"

The cragodile, predictably, didn't answer, and instead plowed into a small clubhouse built on stilts. The wooden legs shattered, and the entire structure tumbled down into a splintered mess before the beast moved on to bash its head against a collection of rocking chairs.

"... Wow. He really did feel that," Ranma mumbled, a droplet of sweat rolling down his head.

"Don't just stand there!" Trixie barked. "Finish it off! If you don't knock it out it's going to tear this entire place apart!"

"Erm, okay. Just, uh, let me think for a sec," the martial artist grumbled, lightly kicking out his legs. "Hitting that thing hurts, you know? And even at full strength it just seems to make it mad."

The cragodile stumbled into a pile of logs, knocking it over and scattering them underfoot. Its tail flipped one up into the air, sending it spinning toward the nearby ponies. Trixie flinched, but Ranma brightened.

"Idea!" the martial artist jumped straight toward the log, and landed on the end while still in mid-air. Taking a moment to aim, he then kicked it back toward the escaped circus animal.

The log flew like an arrow, smashing into the beast's head in a spray of gravel and wooden shrapnel. The cragodile was bowled over, its eyes spinning in its head; it listed drunkenly to one side, and then slumped onto the ground in a daze. The damaged log bounced off and rolled over several sets of lawn furniture, reducing them to scraps. The fence beyond the furniture display finally stopped it, but not before the wayward timber smashed a hole in the barrier.

Ranma watched his handiwork with a smirk, and then perked up when several ponies wearing clown makeup and extravagant suits rushed into the yard. "Looks like the circus guys are here to pick up their animal! Better late than never, right? Hah!"

He turned around, and found himself nose-to-nose with Trixie's furious - if blessedly silent - glare. Behind the performer, the terrified carpenter pony slowly stumbled out of her hiding spot, still quivering.

"Okay, look, before anyone says anything, this is NOT my fault," Ranma said, pressing a hoof to his chest. "I swear, I was just minding my own business when the screaming started, and before I knew it that rock alligator-"

"Cragodile," Trixie corrected, her voice perfectly icy.

"Yeah, that. It was going to eat some guy, so all I did was kick a mail box at it! You know, to distract it long enough for the ponies to get away! And then it went berserk! I had to fight it!"

"M-My yard..." the carpenter pony whimpered, staring at the damage with a forlorn look. Her rear dropped to the ground with a thump. "It's all gone..."

"No! No, it isn't all gone! There's still plenty of stuff we didn't wreck!" Ranma replied, flailing a leg at the largely untouched area behind her. "We barely hit the wagons! Didn't you say we were here for a wagon, Trix? The wagons are still intact!"

Trixie's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"... Anyway, I think we're moving a little off-topic here," Ranma coughed. "The POINT is that none of this is my fault."

"Excuse me!" Much to Ranma's relief, one of the circus ponies rushed up to them and quickly bowed his head. The stallion was an earth pony with a large handlebar mustache and a bright red suit and top hat, and after bowing he removed said hat and held it against his chest.

"My name is Ringlin, Ma'am. May I assume you're the owner of this enterprise?" he zeroed in on the carpenter, casting a brief but wary glance at the other two ponies.

"I... I am. You can call me Nails," she replied, still obviously dazed.

"Huh. Okay, I get 'Nails,' but 'Ringlin?'" Ranma mumbled to himself, scratching his chin.

"I cannot apologize enough for what's happened! We're not sure how he got free! And I've never seen Rockjaws in such a foul mood! This is an absolute nightmare!" He sighed deeply, his ears drooping. "I will, of course, pay for all the damaged property! Nopony was hurt, were they?"

Ranma raised a foreleg.

The ringleader recoiled in alarm when he noticed the gashes on it. "By Celestia! He bit you?! You're lucky to be alive!"

"Huh? Oh, this? Nah, this is from when he hit me with his tail. Lucky shot, but some of those scales are really sharp." Ranma put his leg down. "I was just wondering if you had a last name."

"My... last name?" Ringlin blinked. "Barnem. Ringlin Barnem. Why?"

"Ohhhh, NOW I get it!" Ranma laughed, much to the other ponies' confusion.

"... Right. Good," the ringleader mumbled, slowly turning to Nails again. "Anyway, if you can produce a list of the damaged inventory, I'll have you compensated immediately!"

"Trixie doesn't suppose she can order her wagon, first?" Trixie interjected. "Trixie realizes this has been quite a harrowing and stressful day for everypony here, but Trixie REALLY needs to be back on the road as soon as possible!"

"Huh? Oh, uh..." the carpenter pony looked over at the wagon in question. The cragodile had swiped it with its tail early during the fight, tearing open the wooden siding. The greater part of the structure was undamaged, but the drop-down platform - the very feature Trixie had insisted upon - was useless in its current state. "It will take a day to do the repairs if you want that model. And if you want any modifications-"

"No modifications necessary! No repairs is fine too! Trixie will take it as is, please! Immediately!" the magician said anxiously. "Well fix it ourselves! In fact, we'll take a stack of lumber, too!" Her hat floated off, hovering in the air within an aura of pink magic.

"Now, just hold up," Nails said with a frown. "There's something fishy about all this. Besides, I can't just let you trot out of here with a damaged wagon! You could get hurt! That's a liability issue!"

Trixie's hat swelled, and then four big sacks of bits fell out. One after another, the heavy bags fell onto the ground with a muted jingle of metal, and a few coins spilled out the top.

Ringlin quirked an eyebrow. Nails recoiled slightly in surprise.

"I, uh... well, that... would certainly cover the wagon and lumber," the carpenter said, stumbling over her words slightly, "but-"

A fifth sack dropped out of the hat, striking the ground on its side and spilling its golden contents across the dirt.
"That much should cover the 'liability issue,' right?" Trixie asked, setting her hat back on her head.

"...... They DO say that the customer is always right!" Nails chirped, her mood visibly improved from a mere twenty seconds ago. "So do you need a receipt or-"

A clunking noise came from behind her, and she whirled around to see Ranma already pulling the damaged wagon toward the hole in the fence.

"Thank you for your business so sorry about all the violence Trixie will just be on her way now please keep your giant monsters better secured in the future thaaaaaanks!" Trixie followed Ranma at speed, levitating a stack of wooden boards above her.

The traveling ponies rushed through the cragodile-sized exit and turned onto the street, leaving behind a dozen confused ponies and one severely concussed reptile.

Trixie's magic swirled around a length of rope, curling and twisting it around a metal hook on the rear of her new wagon. On the other end was her old wagon, tied securely between the traces of its travel harness. Trixie finished the knot and bit onto the end of the rope, giving it a firm tug with her teeth. Once she was satisfied, she jumped into the back door and into the cabin.

"All right, it's ready! Go! Go! Go!" the magician barked, rushing to the front and pushing open the front window.
Ranma surged into action, and both wagons jumped forward from his sudden acceleration. Trixie was actually a bit startled at how easily the martial artist moved to galloping speed despite carrying along something like three times the weight he was used to, and she nearly lost her footing before she sat down properly.

A few seconds passed while Ranma raced down the street, and then the stallion spoke. "Hey, Trix?"

"What?"

"Why are we running, exactly?"

Trixie glared down at the back of his head. "Why do you THINK?"

"I guess it's because of that rock-lizard thing tearing up the place, right? But the circus pony said he'd pay for that! So we're in the clear! ... Right?"

Trixie's expression grew more irritated. "In the clear? Do you really think the only problem was who was going to cover the damage you caused?!"

"Hey! The cragodile caused the damage, not me!" Ranma protested.

"And who moved the fight into the carpenter's yard in the first place?!" Trixie snapped.

"Look, I had to get it away from the crowd, but it-"

"That's not the point, Havoc!" the unicorn seethed. "We can't afford the kind of attention you keep bringing, whether or not Trixie has to directly cover the costs of clean-up! You're supposed to be keeping a LOW PROFILE. Do you think there's a single pony in all of Lancanter that isn't going to know about the stallion that walloped an escaped circus monster by tomorrow evening?"

"Oh. Right," Ranma hung his head, and his pace slackened slightly. "Dammit, this time I was saving people, too. I hope all the good stuff I'm doing is canceling out at least some of the bad stuff I'm accused of doing."

"That's not how laws work, Havoc! Take the next right." Trixie braced herself as the wagon rumbled into a turn, worried that their speed would unbalance them. To her satisfaction it handled quite well, and once they were on a straight road heading out of town Trixie leaned out of the window to berate her companion further. "Trixie warned you about reckless heroics! Nopony with your luck should be tempting fate!"

"So what am I supposed to do? Just let the monsters eat everyone?" Ranma grumbled.

"Ugh... No, Trixie supposes you can't just sit and watch a massacre because it's troublesome to stop it," she relented. "But if you're going to intervene and cause a spectacle then you have to plan for a swift exit afterward! Also, you really could put a little more effort into keeping the collateral damage down. Trixie is probably going to spend all day fixing this wagon, and it's brand new!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry..." Ranma sighed, approaching the city limits.

"Apology accepted," Trixie said with a huff. "Now trot up a mile or so into the woods and find a clearing where we can park this thing. Trixie is going to see how bad the break is."

The magician ducked into her new abode, and Ranma trotted down the path in silence. He got the occasional impressed stare from random townsponies just due to the sight of him hauling two wagons behind him without obviously straining, but the trip out of Lancanter was uneventful.

After perhaps ten minutes of travel, Ranma spotted an area where enough trees had been cut down to form a clearing. It was small, but easily large enough for a few wagons, and a circle made of scorched rocks suggested that others had stopped here and used it as a camp site.

"Hey, Trix! This space looks pretty good! Are we far enough out from town?"

Trixie moved back to the window and poked her head out again, looking over the area. "Yes, that will do. Stop over there."

Ranma broke sharply to the side to head into the aforementioned space, but to Trixie's confusion he didn't slow down. After a moment she gasped, and her eyes widened.

"NO WAIT SLOW DOWN BEFORE-"

Ranma's hooves dug into the ground, and the travel wagon jumped slightly from suddenly braking. It landed lightly enough, which was testament to its construction and perhaps suggested that Ranma wasn't just being reckless with Trixie's new vehicle.

Either way, it didn't stop Trixie's old wagon being towed along behind it, which promptly crashed into the new wagon ahead of it. Ranma's ears twitched at the sound of splintering wood and falling objects, and his fur paled to a lighter shade before his ears flipped down against his head.

"...... Oops," he whispered, cringing.

Ranma didn't dare look behind him, but he clearly heard Trixie's none-too-gentle hoofsteps as she stomped through the travel wagon and opened the back door.

"Well. It seems Trixie won't be selling the old wagon. What a shame."

Her voice was flat and quite matter-of-fact, but each word was like an icy needle into Ranma's back. He heard her drop down to the ground and double back toward him, stopping at the base of the harness that secured him to the travel wagon.

Trixie stared at the martial artist, who had his head tucked to the side with his eyes squeezed shut. A single foreleg was propped up on his head as well, as if to shield it.

"... What are you doing?" the magician asked, one eyebrow arched.

"Um... bracing?" Ranma hesitated. "Are you... gonna hit me?"

Trixie tilted her head to one side. Then she looked away, scratching her chin with a hoof. Clearly she was considering the prospect now, if she hadn't been before.

"... No," she said after several seconds, dropping her hoof. "Trixie is hardly above meting out a good swat on the head to those who deserve it, but you already look plenty chastised. Seriously, the bandits back at Metalleus weren't so cowed." She snorted. "Besides, corporal punishment would be wasted on somepony who fights off wilderness monsters like it's an aggravating chore. If Trixie really wanted to punish you, Trixie would just withhold your dinner."

Ranma's fur, which had been slowly returning to its ordinary shade of gray, instantly whitened again. "You wouldn't dare!" he gasped, finally turning to stare at the unicorn with wide, terrified eyes.

"Shape up or you'll find out for sure," the magician said sharply, turning around again. She began heading down the road, back toward Lancanter. "Most of the supplies are fine, although you spilled one of the oat sacks. Whatever. Trixie was going to go back to town anyway to buy nails and glue for the repairs. May as well make a full shopping trip out of it." Her horn flashed, and her saddlebags floated from the wagon and dropped onto her back.

"Okay, sure!" Relieved that he wasn't going to suffer immediate retribution, Ranma started wiggling out of his towing harness. "But we should make sure to-"

"WE aren't doing anything, because WE are not going back to town," Trixie interrupted. "Trixie is heading back. You're staying here."

"What? Why?" Ranma asked, sounding surprised and somewhat hurt. "Trix, it's dangerous around here! We were barely in town for ten minutes before we were attacked by a giant monster!"

Trixie halted and twisted her head around, her eyes narrowed to slits.

Ranma paused, and then his ears pinned back again. "Okay, fine, so we weren't really attacked directly, but still-"

"But still NOTHING. Trixie told you to stay out of trouble and you couldn't do that, so now you're staying here where you can't break anything important," Trixie said firmly, stamping a hoof on the ground. "While Trixie's gone, you can make yourself useful by moving the supplies into the new wagon. After that, you may as well break the old one into firewood."

Ranma groped for something else to say in protest, but Trixie turned away again and trotted down the road. After a few seconds he sighed and hung his head. He thought she was overreacting, but he couldn't really claim she was wrong. He DID tend to find himself in some sort of conflict every time he was on his own, and often even when he wasn't. Ranma thought nothing of it and rose to every challenge; Trixie had done her best to avoid catastrophe and defuse potential chaos.

Her approach was probably better.

He trotted behind the new travel wagon and winced at the wreckage of the old one. One of the wheels had come apart, and the siding had cracked open and spilled Trixie's illusionist knick-knacks over the ground. It wouldn't take long to clean up and move, but Ranma considered himself lucky that the one thing he'd totally destroyed in the accident was something Trixie had already replaced.

Trix will be fine. Give her a few hours to blow off steam and think without crazy monsters causing a ruckus and she'll be in a better mood and we'll be on our way. She'll love her new wagon! I can even get lunch started for us while she's out!

Ranma started tossing objects from the old wagon into the new, starting with the large, less breakable things. Rugs, blankets, chests, books, and sacks flew into the travel wagon's back door, forming a neat pile within the more spacious vehicle. Once he was out of "chuckable" items, Ranma took up the more sensitive things: lamps, fuel and water casks, and a few things that weren't easily identifiable but looked too brittle to risk throwing.

He was in the process of transferring the firework rockets - not sensitive to damage, as far as he knew, but still worth handling carefully - when he noticed something in the distance, flying far above the treetops. He paused and squinted, peering through the sparse branch cover obscuring that angle of view.

"...... Huh. Guess they have dragons just flying around out in the open around here. Wild," he mumbled to himself before returning to work. "Crazy pony planet..."

Blood Rite lounged on a bench, sulking quietly to himself while slowly eating through a bag of roasted peanuts. Young ponies laughed and played around him and equine couples trotted past the gloomy hooded figure without notice. No magic hid the sorcerer from their attention; any pony that took the time to memorize major bounties could have picked him out if they glanced at him from a good angle. But none did.

It was almost galling. Almost.

Rite levitated a peanut from the sack next to him, crushed the shell within his magic aura, and then popped it into his mouth.

In retrospect Rite didn't know what he was expecting from his improvised plot to unleash a cragodile on the town. Things had gone perfectly according to plan, with Havoc or whatever the ape's name was being alerted immediately and intervening before any innocents were harmed. Blood Rite had been able to slip away to a safe observational distance without anyone suspecting him of causing the incident. The fighter had engaged the menagerie escapee with gusto, hamstrung by a responsibility to keep random bystanders safe from harm.

And then Havoc thrashed the beast and left, because OF COURSE HE DID.

Rite levitated a peanut from the sack next to him, crushed the shell within his magic aura, and then popped it into his mouth.

He didn't know what to do. He came up with little ploys and under-hoofed diversions, and the accursed stallion disposed of them with infuriating ease. The ponies hadn't even bothered to investigate the escape after the fact, just accepting that for some reason a vicious circus animal had gotten loose at the precise moment they were there to stop it. They'd fled the city, true; but that was neither Rite's intention, nor was it even because they feared for their lives.

What was he supposed to do? Lie back and wait for a stupidly convenient opportunity to seize his prize with minimal resistance? He really couldn't see any other option. All his previous plans had fallen apart on contact with Havoc and Trixie. The only other time he'd managed to steal the MacGuffin Stone was when circumstances had contrived to get the pigtailed nuisance to surrender it ahead of time. Would such a circumstance ever arise again? Could he afford to tag along and pester Havoc until it did?

Rite levitated a peanut from the sack next to him, crushed the shell within his magic aura, and then dropped it onto the ground in shock when he spotted a blue unicorn with a wizard's hat walking down the sidewalk across the street.
The mare looked annoyed, which could be the result of any number of circumstances, but more importantly she was alone. Trixie hadn't spotted him, and in fact didn't seem to be carefully observing her surroundings at all.

That last detail bothered Rite somewhat. He still felt like his targets should have their guard up after fighting off a cragodile. Whatever. He calmly stashed his peanuts and hopped off the bench, looking deliberately unhurried. Then he headed down the street at a casual pace, his eyes locked onto the magician from under his hood.

A plan began to form in Blood Rite's mind. He didn't really understand the relationship between Trixie and Havoc, but the nigh-unstoppable primate seemed to have a frankly bizarre level of respect and deference to the stage magician. He also seemed interested in the MacGuffin Stone mainly as a means to spite the ponies who had polymorphed and ditched him rather than the object of inestimable power it was. Would Havoc surrender the artifact to save Trixie's life? Probably. Of course, if that wasn't the case, then a hostage situation was perhaps the worst strategy he could devise. And even if it worked he'd have to have a perfect exit strategy to escape retribution. His current workshop wasn't shielded against the strange MacGuffin sense as his tower had been. Havoc would hunt him down within days, depending on just how angry he was.

Blood Rite could work with a window of a few days. But he wasn't ready to take the plunge just yet.

He continued following Trixie at a distance, letting his gaze wander frequently to check for any other suspicious ponies. He was mostly watching for Havoc, of course, in case the two travelers had merely been separated briefly and he was rushing to her side. Thanks to his abundance of caution, however, Rite spotted someone just as interesting zeroing in on his prey.

"... Princess?" Blood Rite mumbled under his breath, stumbling to a halt.

He blinked, almost unable to believe his eyes. Princess Twilight Sparkle, along with two more of the Elements of Harmony and her attendant dragon, were walking down the street at a brisk, determined pace. They were much further behind Trixie than he was, having no doubt spotted her distinctive hat at a distance, but there was no question as to their intention. The pegasus, Rainbow Dash, hovered over the others at speed and pointed a hoof at Trixie. She was asking a question, apparently, because Twilight shook her head and then gestured for the other mare to come down to street level. All three ponies were trotting quickly through the scattered pedestrians, positioned to overtake the unsuspecting magician.

Trixie, for her part, turned toward a general store and pushed through the front door, apparently oblivious to the ponies tailing her.

Blood Rite clicked his tongue irritably. He had overcome Twilight Sparkle before, but he didn't take it for granted that he could dispatch her again even if he had the element of surprise. He didn't consider any of the other ponies a serious threat, but with Twilight Sparkle nearby and Havoc... somewhere to the West, the risk was far beyond tolerable.

The sorcerer turned into an alley and settled in to watch. The appearance of more foes was unfortunate, but the last time this had happened it had also generated a crucial opportunity. Rite's enemies were many, and they were powerful, but they were not united.

"Let's see where this leads..."

Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all paused outside the general store. Steely-eyed glances were shared. Determined smiles cracked. Atop Twilight's back, Spike leaned forward and braced himself as if he was charging into a combat.

The ponies opened the front door and entered, with Twilight as their spearhead. The interior was fairly small, with shelving dividing the limited floor space into aisles and a checkout counter at the back of the building.

"Howdy, Miss!" chirped a stallion next to the register. "Can I help you find something today?"

"I'm not looking for a thing, no," Twilight quipped, stepping deeper into the shop. Applejack and Rainbow moved in tandem at her flanks. Their eyes scanned the aisles one by one, and their expressions wilted when they found each one decisively empty. "What? Where did she...?"

"Looking for somepony, then?" asked a voice from behind them.

Twilight's heart leapt into her throat, and Rainbow Dash jumped high enough that she almost took flight again. They whirled around to face the entrance, and then watched as Trixie Lulamoon gently pushed the door closed behind them. Apparently the unicorn had been hiding behind the door as it swung open, although it escaped Twilight's immediate understanding why she would do so if she was just going to announce her presence anyway.

"If you're going to be stalking ponies in the streets, you should try to be a little less conspicuous about it," Trixie continued as soon as it looked like Twilight was about to speak. "Trixie spotted you three blocks ago. Could have lost you, too, but Trixie is actually halfway interested in what you're here for. Well?"

Twilight gulped. This was... not how she had anticipated this encounter unfolding. Applejack and Rainbow Dash also seemed perturbed, but their reactions were less cautious.

"As if you could lose me! Who do you think you're talking to?" Rainbow Dash laughed, jumping up to hover just under the ceiling.

"And whaddya mean, stalkin'? We ain't stalkin' nopony! We just need to talk to ya," Applejack said, her voice cool and firm.

Trixie glanced at each of them briefly. "Sure," she drawled, dismissing them with a word. "So what did you want? Trixie is in the middle of shopping and has a lot of chores to do."

"Y-Yes! Right! Sorry," Twilight stuttered. "Um... we're looking for Ranma Saotome."

"Lots of ponies are," Trixie replied with a shrug, "and a fair share of less friendly creatures, too."

The store fell silent for a few seconds as the magician failed to elaborate. Twilight was getting more and more confused.

"Okay... can you... help us with that?" Twilight asked.

"Trixie would rather not. Surely you're aware that he's not on the best terms with Canterlot right now. It's probably best for Ranma - and DEFINITELY best for Equestria - if he doesn't cross paths with any more Princesses for a while."

Twilight gaped, but Spike quickly piped up. "You've got it all wrong! We want to find Ranma so that we can clear his name and keep Equestrian guards from fighting him! His bounty keeps going up and Princess Celestia is trying to hunt him down to figure out what happened to Blood Rite and the MacGuffin Stone! If we don't clear things up he's going to end up cornered and somepony is going to get seriously hurt!"

"See, where our points of view differ is that you think bringing Ranma in to explain himself will avoid that outcome, whereas Trixie believes it will make it a certainty," the unicorn drawled. "But feel free to convince Trixie otherwise."

"Aw, c'mon! He saved Twilight's life, didn't he? That's basically a ticket to a free pardon right there! Princess Celestia said so!" Rainbow protested. "All we need to do is actually bring him to Princess Celestia and apologize for all the arson and beating up our soldiers and stuff."

"Also if he's got the magic thingamajigger he'll hafta give that up," Applejack noted. "The Princess wants to make sure it ain't gonna be used fer evil."

"You could plausibly get an apology out of Ranma, MAYBE, so long as he has some scrap of respect for the pony demanding it. But the last Princess that tried to get the MacGuffin Stone from him ended up tearing up half a forest fighting him. And STILL didn't win," Trixie deadpanned.

Twilight's ears perked. "So then he DOES have the MacGuffin Stone?"

Trixie's attention again focused on Twilight, although she didn't answer. Her expression was bored and dispassionate, as if she didn't care in the least about any of this. But Twilight was beginning to suspect she cared a great deal. Still, this whole encounter felt strangely twisted about. What had started as a race to corner and question Trixie to get her to give up vital information now seemed like an ambush where they begged her for clues.

"Princess Celestia told me that you and Ranma were found outside of Coltson and surrendered me to Equestrian forces. You saved me from Blood Rite, didn't you?" the alicorn pressed.

Trixie smirked. "Well, apparently it's become some sort of state secret, so Trixie isn't totally sure it's okay to tell you... but yes! Trixie DID foil Blood Rite and save your life!" She brushed a hoof against her chest. "You're welcome, by the way."

"I thought so." Twilight took a deep breath and stepped forward, her head bowed. "Thank you. But that's why I need to do this, Trixie."

Trixie's smirk vanished, and she arched an eyebrow. "Pardon? Do what?"

"I need to clear the record between Ranma and Canterlot. Things can't stay as they are," she pressed, staring hard into the magician's eyes. "If we let this escalate further it can only end with some kind of showdown. Either Equestria will corner Ranma, or..." she gulped. "Ranma... will corner Equestria. So to speak."

Trixie furrowed her brow. "Trixie isn't sure what you mean..."

"I mean he's been the target of Lunar Guard assassins before, and he's not nearly as hard to find as a wanted fugitive from justice should be," the alicorn explained. "In addition, from his perspective... If he wants to stop Equestria from hounding him, there aren't many plausible means to do so other than stopping Princess Celestia. If he decides on his own to confront her..."

"Don't be ridiculous! Trixie wouldn't allow it!" snorted Trixie. Her reaction was dismissive, but with an undercurrent of genuine agitation. Her lofty facade was starting to crack.

"Why would it be up ta you?" Applejack asked.

Trixie sat back on her haunches and brushed her mane aside with a hoof. "Ranma works for Trixie, of course. He's a bumbling, violent alien who reacts explosively to magic exposure and can barely read. Ranma wouldn't get anywhere without Trixie, and he knows it!"

Twilight gently placed a hoof on Trixie's shoulder, much to the unicorn's discomfort. "I believe you, Trixie. You wouldn't let Ranma do something so foolish. But what if something happened to you?"

Trixie's eyes narrowed. "Something? Something like what?" she asked suspiciously.

"With all these dangerous creatures and sorcerers and entire armies hunting for him, you're in danger too, aren't you? What if you get hurt? Or what if you just get so sick of living on the run from the authorities that you abandon him? Do you plan on staying by Ranma's side forever?" Twilight asked.

Trixie recoiled at this question, her eyes widening slightly. Then she coughed and quickly returned to her earlier annoyed expression. "That's none of your business, Sparkle. Trixie will handle Ranma and keep him from going on any catastrophic regicide quests. Is that all? Trixie really does have other things to be doing right now."

Twilight restrained a frustrated groan. Trixie was closing herself off again, and Twilight wasn't sure how to get through to the unicorn. This was a vastly different engagement than the last time she and Trixie had conversed, where the wandering magician was nervous and seemed acutely aware of her limited authority. Now Trixie talked down to her like she was doing an Equestrian Princess a favor by hearing her out. It was like she was dealing with a completely different pony.

"Trixie, you can't possibly think it's safe or wise for Ranma to remain on the lam forever! What do you think is going to happen? Do you think Canterlot will just decide the cost of bringing him in is too great and give up? He's carrying an artifact that could very well decide the very survival of the entire royal order!" Twilight protested.

"Trixie doesn't think that. Trixie merely thinks it's preferable to bringing him to Canterlot, which can only end in explosions and tragedy," the unicorn drawled. "It doesn't help to avoid a disaster by precipitating an even greater one."

"I want to save Ranma!" Twilight shouted, her voice getting heated. "And Celestia does too!"

"Ranma Saotome doesn't need 'saving.' He just needs a level head to guide him and enough food to supply a medium-sized caravan," Trixie countered, rolling her eyes. "While Princess Celestia could surely provide the latter, Ranma doesn't trust the Princesses - present company excluded, for some reason - and at this point Trixie honestly can't blame him."

Twilight's frustration jumped several notches at the suggestion that Celestia wasn't trustworthy, and she started sputtering incoherently again.

Then someone cleared his throat nervously from behind the Ponyville residents. The mares turned to look and found the cashier pony standing in the aisle directly behind them.

"Hi! Uh... not to interrupt... I'm really not clear on the context of this conversation at all and it seems SUPER IMPORTANT and everything, but..." he chewed his lip for several seconds before finishing, "are you ladies going to be buying anything? Because you're blocking the entrance..."

The Ponyville mares had the grace to look embarrassed, while Trixie just smirked.

"Yes, Trixie will be buying. Terribly sorry about the disruption." She didn't seem very sorry as she brushed past Twilight and started peering at the goods on display.

Twilight Sparkle grit her teeth, fighting a desperate internal battle not to continue arguing with the magician. After a few seconds, her expression relaxed and she headed toward the exit. "Sorry. We'll be going now." She didn't look back at Trixie as she left, nor did Applejack or Rainbow Dash as they followed.

"Well, shucks. That didn't go well. Now what're we gonna do?" Applejack asked as soon as they were clear of the store entrance.

Rainbow Dash gave her a look. "What do you mean? We're going to go find Havoc and take him back to Ponyville, of course!"

Applejack seemed surprised at this, for some reason. "But Trixie just said-"

"Yeah, yeah, but who cares?" Rainbow waved a hoof and snorted. "Trixie's his boss, not his mom. Besides, it's not like we need her help to find him. Twi's got that covered! We even confirmed that Ranma still has the MacGuffin Stone and saved Twilight's life!"

"Yeah, but... I dunno," Spike interjected, wringing his hands. "If Trixie is against this, then convincing Ranma is going to be HARD. He takes her seriously. Way more seriously than he should."

"It doesn't matter," Twilight said firmly. Her voice and eyes were frosty, staring at a point of light in the distance only she could see. "I wish Trixie was more helpful. But she doesn't want to be and I'm not going to force her. That doesn't change what we have to do here." Her eyes narrowed. "Ranma Saotome has to have his name cleared. He has to let us secure the MacGuffin Stone. We can't let this disaster continue, no matter what. Too much is at stake."

"Okay, that's all true. But... y'all don't think Trixie might have a point?" Applejack said uneasily. When she had the others' attention, she continued. "This feller destroyed yer home, mah barn, and a good chunk o' mah orchard in the couple o' hours he was in Ponyville. Ever since he's been runnin' around the country leavin' scorched buildin's and beaten guards behind him. Trixie's had a front row seat to all o' this bedlam, so maybe she ain't just puttin' us on when she says we're bringin' a lit match to a powder keg."

"Pff! If just being around Havoc is that bad, then why does she bother? Trixie would have left him in the dust long ago!" Rainbow Dash countered.

"Well, judgin' by what Spike said, Ah'm guessin' she's sweet on 'im," the farmer replied, shrugging. "But that ain't really the point."

"You're right, Applejack. It's not the point. The point is that if we leave things be, they're guaranteed to get worse," Twilight said firmly. "Ranma needs my help, no matter what Trixie says. He deserves forgiveness, no matter what Celestia says. And I can't be afraid of simple proximity to him, no matter what... well... everypony says."

"Yeah! That's the attitude!" Rainbow Dash cheered, pumping a foreleg.

"Also, we still need to warn him about the dragon trying to hunt him down," Spike said, while staring up into the sky.

"Yes! Definitely! He..." Twilight trailed off when several nearby ponies gasped and shouted in surprise, and then slowly tilted her head up. "... Oh. Oh dear."

Kamikazan flew over the forest just outside of town, swooping over the forest in long, soaring dives while scanning the ground. The dragon prince was still far away from Lancanter, and wasn't heading in the direction of the town, but the very appearance of such a large dragon within spotting distance was unusual and frightening enough that the town's citizens started to scatter and rush to their homes.

"Ya see? This is what Ah'm talkin' about," Applejack groaned. "Soon as we start catchin' up to Sow-toh-may, BOOM, dragons. This won't end well."

"Oh, come on! You can't pretend like this just came out of nowhere! We knew this dragon was coming for Havoc, remember?" Rainbow protested.

Applejack squinted into the distance, watching the flying serpent dive again. "Ya sure that's the same one? Ah can't tell from here, and the fortune teller lady said the varmint was s'pposed to be headin' to the wrong place."

"I can't really tell either, but it's the right size and the right color. What are the odds that two red dragons are after the poor guy at the same time?" Rainbow asked. Then, after a few seconds, she turned to Twilight. "Seriously, what are the odds? This IS the same dragon, right?"

"Girls, I think we'd better hurry up and intervene," Twilight said grimly, speeding into a gallop. "That's definitely Kamikazan. And he's definitely headed right for the MacGuffin Stone!"

It didn't take very long at all to find his target.

Even Kamikazan was somewhat suspicious about how well his hunt had gone. He was hardly surprised to find that the mysterious gray chaos pony was no longer at Metalleus after Kamikazan had been directed there, but his prey left quite a trail behind him. Physical tracks interspersed with badly wounded, terrified bandits who were none too happy with the mystery stallion made for easy tracking. Oddly, they all referred to the stallion as "Havoc," but a basic physical description, plus a description of his fighting prowess, made his identity clear.

Soon enough Kamikazan was searching the roads outside Lancanter, checking every camp and wagon for his target. There were a fair number of them - Lancanter was a busy hub town, and the forest was full of loggers - and most of the time they screamed and fled in panic. Which was fine; Kamikazan preferred such a reaction. The lack of terrified compliance was one of the things that bothered him about Ranma Saotome in the first place.

"Hey, do I know you? You look sort of familiar."

Case in point: the pigtailed stallion staring up at him next to a big pile of broken wood.

Kamikazan didn't land right away, stopping in the air to stare hard at the pony. Ranma looked exactly as he remembered, although he was wearing some kind of ridiculous-looking cape now. He didn't see any other ponies around, either. The circumstances were perfect.

"You don't remember me, pest? Our encounter may have been fleeting, but you stand before one of the immortal rulers of his world!" Kamikazan snarled. He hovered in place over the camp site, his wings shaking the branches underneath with every beat. Glittering sparks floated from his jaws while he spoke, turning every word into a subtle promise of blazing annihilation.

Ranma suddenly looked exasperated. "Oh, right. Now I remember you. That guy from Rite's tower. Kamikazan, was it?" He had a broken wheel on his back, and he walked over to the firewood before tilting over to let it fall onto the pile. "How's your eye?"

Kamikazan suddenly lurched to the side, moving over the empty road before lowering himself onto the ground. This area was cramped for a creature of his size, but he refused to change to a smaller body; this stallion already had the gall to defy him in his natural visage. It wouldn't do to address such insolent rabble without at least towering over them.

"My eye is fine, vermin. No others have been so crass as to lay hoof or claw upon me since our previous meeting," Kamikazan growled.

Ranma started walking back toward the wrecked wagon, not bothering to keep eye contact with the dragon prince. "Neat. So what do you want now?"

"Straight to business, then." Kamikazan folded his wings up and stuck out his chest. "I've located you as a mere means to an end, Ranma Saotome."

"Mm hmm," Ranma said noncommittally, flipping some more broken planks onto his back.

"Yes, that's right. I know your name now, equine. You've made some powerful enemies, and though none of them equal myself in power or majesty, one of them happened to have... other assets that interest me." Kamikazan grinned, his tongue flicking out of his mouth like a snake tasting the air. "Count yourself lucky, scum. Your cooperation may yet spare you of my wrath!"

Ranma walked by the dragon and then tilted to the side, spilling the wood onto the pile. "Uh huh."

Kamikazan's grin soured. "The female I have chosen to be my mate has demanded a certain treasure before she would be mine..."

"Ah. Engagement problems, huh? Yeah, I've been there," Ranma interrupted, walking back to the wreck. "You want my advice, all these 'reach the goal and marry the princess' quests are never worth it. Even if you really like her, it never works out just because you managed to be the first one to get the treasure or whatever."

Kamikazan scowled. "I did NOT want your advice. Tell me where the MacGuffin Stone is, Ranma Saotome, or I shall reduce you to smoldering ruin here and now!"

Ranma flipped some more wood onto his back. "You see, this is just what I'm talking about." He started strolling back across the clearing again. "This chick sent you to get the MacGuffin? No way is she worth it. Is she going to send you on doomed chores after you're married, too?"

"Watch your tongue, equine!" Kamikazan snarled, slamming a giant claw down in Ranma's path. "You dare slander my beloved Princess Celestia?!"

Ranma blinked up at the dragon. "Princess Celestia? ... Wait... isn't she the one that's supposed to raise the sun or something? She's out to get me too? What's HER problem?"

Kamikazan grimaced, glancing to the side. Giving away Celestia as his source had been imprudent. Not that it really mattered, but he didn't owe the stallion any explanations and there was no reason to pin this affair on the Equestrian diarch.

"Also, isn't she supposed to be a horse? I don't think you're her type," Ranma continued.

Kamikazan's claw rose and fell, aiming to squash the pigtailed pony flat. Ranma hit the ground and rolled under it. The plank he was carrying fell off, crushed to splinters under the gigantic dragon hand, but Ranma cleared the danger zone and calmly hopped back upright.

"SILENCE, PEST!!" Kamikazan snarled.

"Don't kill the messenger, buddy! I'm just saying: your relationship is going to be hard enough if she sends you on these dumb fetch quests. What's the point if you can't even cuddle without flattening her?"

The dragon's claws bit into the dirt and then raked across the ground toward Ranma. He leapt away, vanishing into a gray blur before landing out of the serpent's immediate reach.

"WHERE. IS. THE. MACGUFFIN STONE?" Kamikazan hissed, flames puffing from between his teeth.

"Not telling," Ranma said simply. He idly touched the jewel attached to his cape's clasp.

Luckily, Kamikazan didn't seem aware of such subtle body language. "Then where is the Sorcerer Blood Rite?!" he demanded.

"Dunno," Ranma said with a shrug.

Kamikazan trembled, and the leaves on the nearest branches started to wilt from proximity to the rapidly rising heat.

"If you will not tell me, then your life is forfeit!" the dragon prince roared.

"Yeah, I kind of get the feeling you were going to do that anyway," the martial artist said. He walked away from the wagon, keeping his facing toward the dragon prince without taking up any sort of clear combat stance. "Come on, let's get this over with. I don't want Trix to come back and find that I've attracted ANOTHER scaly freak less than an hour after the last one."

Kamikazan reared his head back and spread his wings, taking up a classic draconic combat pose. Flame licked the edges of his jaws, and magic power sang within his veins with every heartbeat.

And yet, the dragon prince hesitated. Those parts of his brain not drowning in rage - particularly the aspects concerned with his potential future nuptials - couldn't help but consider that murdering the infuriating stallion would be murdering his only real lead to the MacGuffin Stone. In theory, of course, he could hunt the treasure himself by interrogating various creatures and demanding the service of more scryers, but that approach was scattershot and tedious. The pony before him clearly knew where his objective was. All he had to do was find the right key to force the information.

But what was that key? A loved one? He didn't know anything about Ranma Saotome aside from his slightly impressive combat skills and stubborn defiance of his betters. A bribe? Kamikazan couldn't imagine he had anything the stallion would want, even if he'd lower himself to such a thing. Threats were his favorite tactic, but one he had already tried repeatedly. What more could he do to convince the equine that his life was in danger?

Then, an epiphany: Ranma Saotome may well believe that he could weather the wrath of a serpent king, but others were far more vulnerable. Threatening his loved ones would have required learning who and where those equines were - Kamikazan vaguely remembered some blue pony being with the pest at the site of his awakening - but he could easily try less discriminating methods. Ponies were soft-hearted and weak-willed; how much devastation would Ranma allow just to protect a magic rock?

"This is your last chance, scum," the red dragon growled. "Tell me where the MacGuffin Stone is, or witness retribution beyond your darkest nightmares."

"Nah, I'm good." Ranma reached the road, almost opposite the direction of Trixie's new travel wagon. "Come at me when you're ready." He stopped and sat down on the bare ground.

It enraged Kamikazan for the stallion to speak so confidently, as if a combat between them was some kind of chore. But he clamped down on his fury and slowly turned his head away.

"Come at you? Why? What good does it do me to reduce you to cinders now?" His lips twitched up into a smile as he faced away from the stallion. "No, vermin. It won't be you that bears the toll of my fury. Not YET, at any rate."

Ranma blinked, surprised and increasingly concerned. "Wait, what do you-"

Kamikazan tilted his head down, toward the wagon parked by the side of the road. Then he vomited a searing red fireball at it. The projectile smashed the roof in before it exploded, completely consuming the vehicle within a swirling inferno. Chunks of burning wood were flung into the air, leaving streaks of dark smoke in their wake. A second later the fireworks within the wagon exploded, briefly overwhelming the initial blast with bright, vibrant bursts of colorful sparks. A few rockets even shot out of the devastated vehicle, whistling into the air before popping into flowers and glittering stars.

Ranma's fur paled several shades while he watched the display, and his jaw dropped open. "You..."

"I hope there was somepony in there," Kamikazan mused with a smile. "If not, that's okay. I spotted many other equines on my search for you just here in this forest. I think I'll start with them before I move on to the town."

Ranma's body trembled, his eyes still bugging out. "You..."

"I won't raze it entirely. Celess wouldn't like that. But surely a few ponies wouldn't be missed in the pursuit of a beloved treasure. Maybe a school? Oh! Or a hospital! If anything it would help the kingdom to be relieved of some of their sick weaklings." The dragon turned toward his target. "Or... you can tell me where the MacGuffin Stone is. Tell me, equine: how many lives are worth protecting this treasure?"

Ranma's aura exploded, blasting a shallow crater in the dirt around him. The ghostly, pale blue light quickly retracted to a more subdued level, but was still entirely visible as the martial artist clenched his teeth. He glared up at the dragon, and the aura pulsed. "YOU..."

Kamikazan blinked. Something about the stallion's gaze made him feel substantially less angry than before as new, uncomfortable feelings crept into his thoughts. "What? What's wrong? Wait, was there somepony in that wagon after all?"

At the mere mention of the wagon, a vein popped up on Ranma's head.

"Look, all you have to do to save all these ponies is tell me where the-"

Ranma's body became a cyan blur across the ground, and then Kamikazan knew pain.

The first impact struck Kamikazan in the arm, causing him to flinch back. Then a kick to his opposite elbow unsteadied his stance, dropping his chest and head lower to the ground. A brilliant arc of blue light and angry pony flipped up in a jump and impacted the side of his head a moment later, smashing the dragon's face into a tree.

"OW! BRIMSTONE!" Kamikazan cursed, spitting up a puff of fire.

Ranma dropped under the serpent's chest, facing away, and then started slamming his back hooves into Kamikazan's more vulnerable underside in rapid sequence. Every kick felt like a ballistae bolt into the dragon's ribs, and his current awkward footing forced him to lean into the attacks.

"Knock it OFF, pest!" Kamikazan roared, using his wings to recoil from the stallion. He swiped a claw across the road, but Ranma back flipped over it, and then leapt into the air again. Kamikazan went for a bite, only for a hoof to smash into his jaw, knocking his head aside and fracturing a tooth. Ranma landed on his neck and kicked off, striking with strength and precision enough to crack a scale in his departure.

"Flames alive, what's wrong with you?!" Kamikazan tried to back away, but found his wings striking against the surrounding branches. Ranma, on the other hand, bounced off and between the trees and branches with impossible ease and terrifying speed. The dragon prince was only able to track him thanks to the inexplicable blue glow that stuck to his form and trailed along behind him. "Why are you so mad?! What did I do?!"

Ranma actually relented in his assault, landing on the side of a tree trunk and sliding down the side toward the ground. "You torched Trixie's wagon, you stupid lizard!" he snapped, still trembling with anger.

Kamikazan waited for the stallion to get to the part that upset him. After a few seconds of silence, the serpent blinked. "I... torched the wagon? That's it? There was no one inside it? No irreplaceable treasures? You're beside yourself with fury because I burned down some crude, fragile transport?"

Ranma's aura pulsed again, and the dragon flinched back. "YES, I'm mad about the wagon, you idiot! Do you have any idea how hard we worked to get that thing?! Do you know what Trixie is going to do to me when she gets back and sees you destroyed it?!"

Kamikazan was flabbergasted to actually see a tear visibly crawl down the stallion's cheek during his angry shouting. "I... uh... no?"

"She's going to KILL ME!!" Ranma screamed, slamming a back hoof into the tree behind him. The entire tree shook from the impact, and a scattered shower of leaves was blasted aside by another pulse of the martial artist's aura.

Kamikazan frowned and scratched his lip. "I'm not sure I understand, but... What if I agreed to kill this 'Trixie' before she finds you? THEN would you tell me where the MacGuffin Stone is?"

Surprisingly, this extremely reasonable offer only seemed to make Ranma angrier.

Kamikazan lurched back after a bright blue comet slammed into his chest. "Agh! All right, I have had ENOUGH of th-OW!" He started to flap his wings to get airborne after taking another sharp hit to his elbow. "Let's see how you-GAH!" His head pitched to the side from another kick. "You won't be able to-OOF!" He wobbled in the air from a strike to his wing socket before Ranma bounced away again.

"STOP IT!! STOP HITTING ME!!" the dragon prince screeched. He launched himself further upward, and then blasted a jet of flame down across the road. Then he twisted around in the air and spat a fireball into the forest.

Ranma wasn't even in the path of the attacks; Kamikazan was simply so enraged and desperate that he was beginning to spit fire everywhere. Checking his approach path, Ranma leapt from one tree and landed hard on a thick branch underneath the dragon, using it to vault up onto his tail.

Kamikazan noticed immediately when something was crawling on him, and start whipping his tail to try and fling the pony away. "No! Get off me, insect!" he roared, twisting and thrashing every which way.

Ranma dashed up his tail regardless, keeping a steady pace until he could jump up onto the dragon's back. Kamikazan roared and flew higher, trying to spin around fast enough to dislodge the pony.

Ranma was all but undisturbed; the dragon prince's rough, iron-hard scales made for excellent footing, and the crested spines along his back gave the martial artist something to push and pull against to counter the motions. Once the serpent was upright again, he dashed up to his shoulders and then bit onto a wing, clamping his jaws firmly around the fleshy membrane that stretched between the bones.

Then he started kicking the joint that connected the wing to the shoulder, slamming a hoof into it again and again.

"OW! AH! ACK! URK!" Kamikazan's flight wobbled again as his right-hand wing became increasingly painful to move. "Stop it! Stop that at once! ARGH!"

Predictably, Ranma didn't stop, so after a few more seconds of agony the dragon prince began to concentrate. Magic flowed freely from the serpent's body, manifesting in a series of floating, glittering embers that washed up over him and then coalesced to form solid lines of hot, glowing light. The lines stretched and met other lines at sharp angles, circling, spinning, and bending in on themselves to form an arcane pattern in the air. A six-pointed star, ringed by torch-like flames and stamped over a single, indecipherable rune of power.

The magic circle flashed, and Kamikazan exploded. His scales evaporated, his flesh turned to fire, and the entire form blasted outward in all directions like a massive dynamite stick. Ranma went flying with a surprised yelp, thrown through the air on a scorching wave without the benefit of wings. The martial artist flailed about within the flames and landed gracelessly within the forest, slamming through several branches before he finally landed amongst the trees.

Up in the air, a swirling morass of bright crimson broke from the fiery blast, pulling back to its origin point. The energy seeped together into a sphere, and then inflated rapidly, expanding back to the form of the mighty red dragon. Within seconds Kamikazan flew once more above the forest of Lancanter, this time without his unwanted passenger.

"Now, then. Time to end this," snarled the serpent. More magic coalesced around him in motes of angry red, drifting in an invisible wind to be collected in front of his nose. The magic grew into a swirling orb. Barely the size of a basketball, the boiling sphere yet contained enough explosive force to pulverize a city block and enough raw heat to engulf the blocks adjacent in a merciless inferno. It was a laughably wasteful attack to use on a single pony-sized target, but the dragon prince was enraged beyond the point of restraint.

"MY CLOAK!! YOU SCALY BASTARD!! YOU BURNT MY CLOAK!!"

Kamikazan paused mid-spell, leaving the sphere of power hovering in the air above him, just so he could stare incredulously at the ground below. Ranma was glaring up at him, absolutely livid, with the scorched scraps of his purple cloak and hood still tied around his neck. The stallion's fur was burned as well, but he hardly seemed to notice. In his upraised hoof the stallion held the gemstone clasp that had held the cloak in place.

"Are you even listening to yourself?" the serpent asked, exasperated. "Yelping like a wounded animal over that hideous scrap of cloth..."

Ranma's aura pulsed again. He shifted the leg holding the clasp, putting it... somewhere. It wasn't clear where the accessory went, but Kamikazan didn't really care.

"But no matter. If you wish to spend your final breath wailing inanities to your betters, I can grant you that small favor." Kamikazan moved upward behind the quivering fire orb, and clutched it gently within his talons. "Be grateful, wretch!" He flung the magic bomb down into the forest, directly at the pigtailed stallion.

Ranma didn't move as the projectile plummeted toward him, silently working out its course and analyzing the various angles in his head.

Then, once it was merely ten feet away, he launched himself at it with a jumping somersault. One hoof lashed out, impacting the flaming bomb with a flash of crystalline blue light. Then the bomb rocketed back up toward its source, trailing brilliant red and blue sparks behind it.

"Wait, what," Kamikazan mumbled as the screaming crimson orb sailed up at him.

The serpent squeaked and lurched out the way, barely making room for the magic explosive to shoot past his neck and upward to a safe distance. The sphere quivered and started to glow white as the spell containing it slowly unraveled, and then exploded several seconds later. A hollow roar washed over the forest in all directions, shaking the treetops and sending flocks of birds scattering even before the shock wave of hot air buffeted them from above.

Kamikazan himself flapped harder to remain stable as the pressure wave struck, and he twisted around to watch as the blazing nova from his spell expanded and then rapidly collapsed into a small shower of embers. It was a fairly unique sight; he had never seen that attack detonate in the air, absent a solid combustible to consume. Given that he had just watched a pony kick it back at him like a hoofball, it occurred to him that he might want to pay closer attention to the unique mechanics of his magic attacks in the future.

With that observation troubling him, and still slightly stunned at what just happened, the dragon prince turned his attention back onto the ground.

"... Huh? Where did he go?" Kamikazan's eyes narrowed. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised at losing track of the stallion amongst the tree cover, but he was quite surprised that Ranma had run away. Certainly the insolent pony had ample reason to do so, but retreating at this point, after attacking in an enraged frenzy and driving him into the sky, was quite a reversal of tactics. Was the stallion trying to lure him back down?

The trees directly underneath Kamikazan shook, and the dragon heard the curious sound of hooves striking wood with great speed.

"YEEP!" Kamikazan yelped and jerked upward when Ranma shot up out of the forest as if he had been launched by a catapult. The serpent's wings beat furiously, trying to eke out a few more feet of altitude in a panicked frenzy, and he curled up his legs and tail as close as possible to keep them out of reach.

Ranma's ascent slowed, reaching the apex of his incredible leap mere feet from the terrified dragon. The martial artist swiped his forelegs above him repeatedly, kicking at the air and growling incoherently for one tense, terrifying moment. Then he fell back down.

Kamikazan rapidly ascended some more, putting an additional fifty feet or so between him and the ground. Heart thundering in his ears, he started nervously scanning the forest again for his target. This time it was less to find a bombardment point and more to keep track of the pest in case he tried something else. Kamikazan had never met a creature so tenacious as the pigtailed pony before; what kind of monster had Celestia sent him to hunt down?

After several seconds the dragon prince failed to find his target, but also started to feel reassured that he was out of the stallion's reach. The tree cover meant that finding a single pony that didn't want to be found was nearly impossible if he wasn't willing to venture within kicking distance, but it also created an offensive opportunity for someone with fire magic.

"Beams only though," Kamikazan muttered to himself, "no magic missiles."

He began gathering his magic, and swirls of crimson sparks gathered in front of him. Sparks became lines, lines became shapes, and shapes became runes. Ancient magic thrummed through the dragon's veins, giving life to his will and powering destruction far beyond that of a simple breath weapon. The magic circles multiplied, spreading and tilting outward to aim at different parts of the forest.

Scorched Earth it is, then. We'll see if a few decimated forests calms the pest down. A high-pitched whine filled the air, and motes of bright crimson energy gathered in the circles' centers.

Then a ray of purple light slashed across the magic circles. Three of them collapsed instantly, and the others destabilized when Kamikazan whirled around in a panic.

"That's enough!" Twilight slowed her flight through the air, making sure to stay well out of arm's reach when addressing the fire-breathing serpent. "I don't know what you're trying to do here, but you're going to hurt somepony at this rate!"

It took a few seconds for Kamikazan to swallow his relief that Ranma Saotome hadn't somehow grown wings and snuck up on him. Once he was properly composed, the dragon prince sneered. "That's precisely the point, lesser Princess. Don't interfere, or you'll become one of those 'someponies.'"

"Lesser Princess? The hay is that?" asked a voice behind him.

Kamikazan screeched, snapping to the side and quickly whipping his entire body around. Rainbow Dash, who had descended behind him, blinked repeatedly as the serpent took up a defensive aerial posture, only to suddenly recover and relax. Clearly the dragon was terrified, and she had no idea what to make of it.

"The ascended mare is a lesser Princess, given the gifts of the alicorn race out of favor or pity rather than birthright," Kamikazan explained calmly, as if he hadn't just shrieked like a decade-old wyrm from an animal one hundredth his size. "But you waste my time! Begone, mares! This does not concern you!"

"A dragon bombarding the forests outside an Equestrian town DOES concern me," Twilight said grimly. "Why are you here? What do you want?"

Kamikazan began to growl and consider the best spells for incinerating aerial opponents. Then he reconsidered. He still had no reliable means for getting the location of his objective out of Ranma Saotome. But maybe these mares did? He knew nothing of these ponies, but his current strategy of threats and violence had so far been largely ineffective on this particular quest.

"What I want is the MacGuffin Stone!" Kamikazan boomed, surging higher so that he could properly look down on the winged ponies. "I demanded that Ranma Saotome reveal its location or face judgment. He chose judgment." The dragon prince paused. "That judgment has been... delayed, somewhat. But if the gray pest will not accept a compromise, then his fate is sealed."

"REEEEEEALLY," Rainbow Dash drawled, looking unconvinced.

Twilight pursed her lips. "You're looking for the MacGuffin Stone? Why?"

Kamikazan snapped his jaws angrily, causing the alicorn to flinch back. "When a Dragon King demands treasure, mare, you do not ask 'why.' The artifact will be mine. It's up to you equines how many bodies are left in the funeral pyre by the time I find it."

"That's... not much of a compromise," Twilight admitted.

"It is testament to my restraint and comportment that any of you ponies may yet leave this place alive," Kamikazan snorted. "Now find the pigtailed fool and locate my treasure, lesser Princess!"

"Damn it! I can't believe I missed! TWICE!!"

Ranma paced back and forth along the ground beneath the treetops, seething angrily to himself. Every few seconds he passed under a break in the forest canopy, and he glanced up at the distant red blur in the sky.

On this particular pace, there was a little purple blur next to it, and a light blue blur as well. He stopped, his jaw hanging open.

"What is that? Is that... Sparks? What's she doing here?" From here he couldn't make out anything other than the color and size, and really he imagined there were plenty of other winged purple ponies in Equestria, but he figured it was a strong guess. Apparently Twilight had been searching for him for some reason, and the alicorn was considered a heroine of Equestria. What other pony was going to fly up to a dragon and start a conversation in the middle of a rampage?

"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it..." Ranma's pacing increased in speed. "Can Sparks take on a dragon? What if she tries to talk him down but can't because I made him mad? DAMN IT I can't believe I MISSED!"

"There ya are! Hey, Sow-toh-may! Over here!"

"Sssssh! Can everypony just stop shouting, please? Dragons have pretty good hearing!"

Ranma whipped around on the spot, and he was reasonably surprised to see Applejack peeking around a tree with Spike on her back. The young dragon had a claw to his lips, and was nervously glancing upward.

"Spike? And, you're... Applejack, right? From that orchard? What's going on? Why are you here?" the martial artist asked, feeling some of the tension draining from him.

"It's kind of a long story, but fer now we're here to get you away from that scaly varmint up there," Applejack tilted her hat back and gestured to the side. "Dash and Twi're distractin' him right now. How 'bout we skedaddle?"

Ranma's eyes hardened, and in an instant the tension was back. "No way. I'm not running. Not this time," the stallion hissed. "I owe that lizard freak way more than I've dished out already! Besides, he said he'd start torching the place if he couldn't get me!"

"Aw crud, really?" Spike groaned, hanging his head. "Man, why do all the other dragons have to be jerks?"

"Well that is a problem, ain't it?" Applejack mumbled. "Maybe we can lure him away from here?"

"I don't want him to LEAVE, I want him to come CLOSER so I can hit him some more!" Ranma complained, stamping a hoof on the ground.

"All right, cowpony, just calm down," the farmer said sternly. "Ah know yer not shy about fightin' the bigg'uns, but ya ain't gettin' to him without wings. Cool yer apples and let Twi do her thing."

Ranma blinked repeatedly. Then his eyes locked onto Applejack's saddlebags. "Hey, do you have a canteen on you?"

"Huh? Yeah, Ah do. But we should-"

Before Applejack even finished the sentence, Ranma was next to her and digging through her bag. By the time she recoiled in surprise, he had the canteen clasped between his hooves and was unscrewing the cap with his teeth.

"Whoa! Wait! Ranma, you don't have to fight him!" Spike exclaimed, his eyes bulging. Applejack just looked confused, but Spike had figured out the martial artist's plan immediately. "Let Twi talk to him first! We might be able to work this out!"

"Sorry, Spike." Ranma tilted the canteen over, draining the water over his face. Brilliant red flooded over his mane, from the roots all the way to the tips of his braid, and a pair of gray wings sprouted from his back with a soft popping noise. "Sparks can't work this out. Not this time."

Applejack's jaw was hanging open in shock. It had been mentioned before that the martial artist could change bodies, but amongst everything else she had honestly forgotten all about it. Seeing that the mare was stunned, Ranma tossed the empty canteen to the young dragon on her back instead.

"Thanks for the water." Ranma vaulted up at an angle, kicking off the side of a tree. Then she spread her wings and took off into the sky.

"Okay, fine, we'll find Ranma Saotome," Twilight said, setting her jaw. "But what if he doesn't have the MacGuffin or know where it is? Are you going to start burning down the countryside anyway? For that matter, do you promise to leave without hurting anypony if you get what you want?"

"Don't test me, lesser Princess," Kamikazan hissed. "The pigtailed vermin had the opportunity to surrender and avoid my wrath. He chose to defy me instead."

"Is that why you're so beat up?" Rainbow Dash asked, peering closely at a patch of broken scales on his neck.

Kamikazan whirled on the pegasus, teeth bared angrily. "SILENCE!" he roared, knocking her back with a wave of hot (and frankly, vile-smelling) breath. "He dared to raise a hoof against me, and he will suffer for that!"

A deep growl came from the dragon, and then at once his anger seemed to recede. "However... it is in my immediate interest to spill as little equine blood as possible. Ranma Saotome is quite willing to let innocent ponies perish to protect the artifact, it seems." His lips curled into a toothy smile. "Are you?"

Twilight grimaced. Rainbow Dash smirked.

"You mean he kicked your tail rather than letting you hurt anypony for your dumb treasure! If you want the MacGuffin so bad, why aren't you on the ground fighting him for it?" Rainbow taunted.

A jet of flame swept through the air, and Rainbow casually dipped under it to dodge out of the danger area.

"I said BE SILENT!" Kamikazan snarled. "Would that I could FIND the wretch, I would teach him his place! But he fled into the woods after taking a cheap shot at me!" Another growl issued from the dragon prince, accompanied by a plume of dark smoke from the edges of his mouth. "... Not that I can question his wisdom in doing so. I assure you that his skill at retreat is the ONLY reason that equine worm doesn't lay below us in a pile of glowing cinders!"

"HEY!" shouted another mare's voice from behind the serpent. "I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!"

Kamikazan, having already twice met flying mares with embarrassing panic, merely groaned this time and slowly turned to see what new annoyance deigned to demand his attention.

He was reasonably surprised to be met with a screaming gray blur that slammed directly into his left eye.

"AAAAAH!! ARRRGH!! MY EYE!! BURNING BRIMSTONE, MY EYE!!" Kamikazan lurched back, clutching one side of his face with a claw.

Twilight's eyes bugged out in shock. Rainbow Dash snickered at the sight of the massive creature's wailing, and then glanced over at his attacker.

"Wait... gray coat... braided mane and tail... arrow-wheel-thing cutie mark..." Rainbow mumbled.

Kamikazan overheard her musing through his own agonized seething, and his good eye widened.

"Ah-ha! Twi said you could turn into a pegasus! Nice!" Rainbow laughed. She would have flown over and given the martial artist a high-hoof, but the way Ranma was staring at Kamikazan and seemed to be glowing an icy blue dissuaded her from any movement that could accidentally place her between the two.

"Turn into... a pegasus...?" Kamikazan said, his voice cracking slightly. The gray pony bore an unmistakable resemblance to the stallion that had been kicking him around before; at the very least he'd guess they were siblings. The livid death glare, however, from the pony he had never otherwise seen before seemed to be conclusive evidence. This was Ranma Saotome. With wings.

His eyes darted back to the other mares hovering around him, and then back to the furious shape-shifter. "Y-You..." his voice cracked again, and he paused to clear his throat. "You've appeared at last to face me, Saotome! Good! Now-"

Ranma launched forward suddenly, smashing her front hooves into the dragon's throat. A cloud of ash blasted from his maw, and he started coughing painfully.

Ranma bounced away to avoid a swipe from the dragon's claw, and then back flipped under Kamikazan's chin, slamming a hoof into his jaw. The dragon recoiled, but this simply gave his assailant extra room to accelerate before ramming into his stomach.

"STOP!! STOP IT!!" the dragon prince howled, flailing.

"YOU TORCHED TRIXIE'S WAGON, YOU SCALY FREAK!!" Ranma shouted back. She flipped away yet again, and then dove into another kick the moment her flight stabilized. “NO MERCY!!”

Twilight watched the battle in dumbfounded silence. Her first instinct was to call for an end to the fighting, but she couldn't really come up with a good argument for NOT attacking a malevolent dragon that was threatening pony lives if he didn't get what he wanted. She had originally hoped to intervene to save Ranma, but from here it looked like the cursed pony was holding her own just fine.

"Whoa, he is MAD," Rainbow Dash observed, floating up next to the alicorn. "Or she? He's a she now, right? Whatever. I remember how he was fighting the other dragon and it was nothing like this!"

A beam of light and fire blasted from Kamikazan, sweeping across the sky aimlessly. Twilight grimaced and flinched away, despite it coming nowhere near her.

"What was she saying about Trixie's wagon?" Twilight asked.

Rainbow Dash spun in the air and raised a hoof to her brow, scanning the ground below. "I'm guessing she's talking about that big pile of burnt wood down in the clearing? That looks like the remains of lumber, not trees." She rubbed her chin with a hoof. "It also doesn't look like Kami-whatsit set the general area on fire, so yeah, if that used to be a wagon it looks like he burnt it down specifically. What a jerk."

Twilight furrowed her brow. Ranma kept landing hits on Kamikazan by diving at vulnerable points at top speed, and then kicking off into flips or leaps to evade retribution. She made as little use of her wings as was possible in an aerial battle, letting gravity lend extra strength to her attacks and using pure leg power to evade attacks and accelerate into flight. Twilight would almost say Ranma fought like an earth pony, except she'd never seen a pony of any species or profession fight like Ranma Saotome.

Kamikazan, for his part, was at a complete loss trying to defend himself. His sheer size, normally quite an asset for a dragon wishing to annihilate upstart ponies, gave Ranma dozens of possible angles of attack and ensured he couldn't turn or accelerate easily. His wings worked hard just to keep him aloft, but were also very large, vulnerable points that acted as convenient platforms for the equine hopping around the serpent's back. And of course the dragon prince was still clutching at his left eye.

"I guess this is what that fortune-teller meant when she said that we would have to save Kamikazan rather than Ranma," Twilight mumbled.

"Yeah, except the hay with that: I wanna see her knock this guy out!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin. Then she flew up higher and cupped her hooves around her muzzle.

"C'MON HAVOC!! TEACH THAT UPPITY ROYAL JERK A LESSON!!"

Ranma deflected off of the back of Kamikazan's head with a two-legged buck, somersaulting through the air and then stopping suddenly in a hover.

Then she turned to the winged ponies watching the altercation, looking exasperated. "Aww, not you too! You KNOW my name is Ranma!" she complained.

"See? I told you!" Twilight admonished her rainbow-maned friend. "Nopony wants to be called 'Havoc!' It's just rude!"

"But Havoc is a great name! You're a pony outlaw fighting off evil dragons and hiding the world's most powerful magic thingy! It's perfect!" Rainbow Dash protested.

"But it's NOT MY NAME!" the martial artist retorted firmly. "You can't just YIKES!"

A blast of flame struck Ranma in the air, and the pigtailed pony started flailing and plummeting after his wings caught fire. Kamikazan grinned from the sudden reversal of fortune, and then started building altitude again.

"Ranma! Oh no!" Twilight's horn started to glow, but the alicorn hesitated to actually cast a spell. "I can't use magic on her! I could just make things worse!"

"I got her!" Rainbow Dash was already in motion, dipping down to intercept the cursed equine.

Ranma had actually done a fair job of putting out the fire herself, suppressing the flames with her aura and thrashing hard enough to blow out the remaining embers. She still was still falling though, and the martial artist still hadn't gotten enough flying practice in to recover from a tailspin.

"Careful! Stop panicking!"

Ranma suddenly stopped spinning when something grabbed onto her, and then she realized her descent was slowing. Rainbow Dash had her forelegs wrapped around one of her rear legs, and was falling along with her. The other pegasus didn't seem worried, though, and she grinned as soon as she had the martial artist's attention.

"Don't worry, we've got you!"

A burst of purple light flashed below them, and before Ranma knew what was happening Twilight had taken hold of one of her front legs. The other mares started flapping their wings hard, slowing her descent from dizzying to merely concerning.

"Erm, th-thanks," Ranma mumbled, her cheeks flushing. "I'm not really that great at flying yet."

"It's a little dangerous to be fighting dragons under any circumstances, but much more so if you can't recover from a dive," Twilight admonished.

"Uh... yeah, about that..." Rainbow Dash gulped. "We might want to make a break for it, girls."

Kamikazan was hovering above, runic circles blazing in front of him with the promise of incendiary annihilation. His maw opened, aimed down toward the ponies, and a brilliant glint of crimson started expanding from the circles.

Twilight gulped. "I'll try to make a shield!"

Rainbow shook her head. "Forget a shield! Fly away!"

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "Throw me at him."

"What?!" asked the other mares incredulously.

Ranma's aura started to build again, and the other ponies felt a cold chill where they held the cursed equine. "Colorful pony, just hurl me straight up. Sparks, blast me from behind to give me a boost."

"But-"

"How can-"

Kamikazan fired his spell, launching a beam of fiery destruction down at the mares.

"NOW! DO IT!"

Rainbow Dash didn't know what was happening or how likely she was to live through it, but the speedster reacted anyway. She flapped her wings hard, yanked Ranma out of Twilight's grip, and then spun around in a circle before flinging Ranma straight into the oncoming spell.

Twilight wanted to hesitate and think this through. She really did. But in the rush of panic she pushed aside her fears and simply did as requested. A ball of purple force shot up out of her horn and smashed into Ranma's flank, pushing her up further.

Ranma's aura expanded as the fire beam approached, generating icy blue contrails at the tips on her wings. With a sharp flap she barrel-rolled through the air, generating a cold spiral radiating out from the tip of her nose.

"HIRYUU SHOUTEN HAAAA!!" Ranma screamed, punching forward into the stream of flames.

Kamikazan had been expecting any number of counters to his assault. A flying dodge had been likely, and probably would have worked. Ranma also could have just fallen the rest of the way and avoided a direct hit; Kamikazan seriously doubted a fall of any height could kill the monstrous equine. The Princess might have even tried a magical counter, like an ice spell or teleport.

The absolute last thing he expected was for the interlopers to launch the insolent, shape-changing pest at him like a furry gray missile.

Or rather, not at him; he was too far away for such meager propulsion to get Ranma so far so quickly. More bizarrely, they had launched her directly into his concentrated beam of magical fire.

And now he was shouting something and glowing blue again.

"Wh... What's h-happening?" Kamikazan mumbled aloud, his voice carrying a slight tinge of fear.

Pegasus collided with fire beam, and to his growing concern the fire beam did not wash over her and scour the pony to the bone with cleansing flame. The head of the beam stopped and unraveled, and then the loose whips of bright red started spinning into a vortex.

Kamikazan wasn't at all sure what happened after that, but within seconds his fire beam was gone and there was a huge cyclone rushing up at him around a core of thundering blue energy.

"All I wanted was a date," the dragon prince protested miserably as the mouth of the vortex reached him. The initial impact felt like he was hit by a catapult boulder - an experience he was unlucky enough to have suffered before - and then the serpent was completely swallowed by the wind. He spun chaotically, completely at the mercy of the inexplicable cyclone, and after a few agonizing seconds it started to diffuse.

"Kachuu tenshin amaguriken!"

Kamikazan could hardly make out the foreign gibberish over the howling winds and his own dizziness, but the advance warning wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. Ranma shot through the center of the vortex like a bullet, smashing into the dragon's side. That impact became a hundred, hooves striking in a furious, impossibly fast blur against the steel-hard scales.

Ranma's cyclone finished unraveling, releasing pony and dragon to calm skies, but it was no reprieve; blissful unconsciousness claimed Kamikazan as his pain finally passed the critical threshold. Released to the tender mercy of gravity, he plummeted to the forest below.

"... Right, right. Havoc can make tornadoes. Or... Or whatever that was, exactly." Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side, frowning, while she watched the dragon plummet.

"Wait, where's Ranma? The cyclone's gone but I don't see her!" Twilight was flitting about in a panic, staring up at the sky for any signs of the gray pony.

"I think I saw him, I mean, her hit King Scaly Jerk over there before the twister broke," Rainbow said, still watching the serpent fall.

The dragon fell below the treetops, and then a sizeable cloud of dust and leaves jumped up into the air. Nearby trees shook from the impact, and at least two of them slowly teetered over and collapsed.

"What? A fall like that could be lethal!" Twilight fretted, staring with wide eyes at the distant crash site.

"To Havoc, or Kamikazan?" Rainbow wondered.

"Either! BOTH!! Go get Applejack and meet me there!"

Twilight vanished in a burst of purple light. Rainbow Dash shrugged, and then flipped backward in the air before diving down toward the scorched camp site below.

"Ranma? Ranma! Are you okay?!" Twilight called while she glided toward the crash site.

Long before she got a good look past the tree cover, her ears picked up the sound of a heavy, rhythmic thumping noise. It reminded Twilight immediately of the sound Applejack made when she harvested apples from trees. Yet this noise was sharper, and more regular. Drawing from her comparison of Applejack's harvest, it was probably the sound Applejack would make if she were trying to tear down the tree rather than shake the fruit loose.

Gulping, the young Princess swooped down into the forest.

In the middle of a fairly large impact crater lay Kamikazan, utterly comatose. The dragon prince was a complete mess, bearing numerous torn patches of scales, dirt everywhere, and what looked like a possibly broken wing. A humiliating and pitiful state for a dragon to be in, certainly, but it seemed like the serpent was obviously alive.

And then there was Ranma. She was standing next to the dragon's head, bucking it in the cranium. Repeatedly. As if the pigtailed pony was trying to crack it open.

"Don't think I'm done with you yet!" Buck. "You just fly up and start burning stuff down!" Buck. "Who do you think you are?!" Buck. "Dragon King my furry, tattooed ass!" Buck. "Damn it, wake up you bastard!" Buck. "One measly tornado and you pass out?!" Buck. "How am I supposed to explain that I lost the wagon to this?!" Double buck.

Twilight slowly landed at the edge of the crater, feeling extremely awkward but determined to intervene. "Uhm-"

Ranma almost jumped at the sound, quickly turning her head away and rubbing a leg against her face. Then she turned toward Twilight. "Oh, hey Sparks. Thanks for the help back there. I could have taken him on my own, but y'know. Saved me from a nasty fall, at least."

The martial artist's voice was casual, in an obviously forced way. Her eyes never quite met Twilight's, and her legs anxiously scuffed at the ground one by one. Ranma was very nervous, very upset, and possibly even... scared? That didn't seem right.

Twilight took a cautious step forward. "Are you okay?"

"I wasn't crying!" Ranma sputtered, unprompted. "All of the leaves and dust and stuff just got into my eyes, okay?! I'm fine!"

Twilight recoiled slightly, her eyes wide. "I... uh... I meant physically. You must have fallen at least four hundred feet."

"Oh. Oh, yeah," Ranma heaved a sigh, letting her ears droop. "Yeah, I'm good. This jerk took the impact." She lashed out with another back kick, and the dragon's entire body shuddered. "Never better. Hmph."

Applejack, Spike, and Rainbow Dash finally reached the area, each of them stopping short at the sight of the decimated serpent.

Applejack whistled. "Sam Apple's ghost! Yer a right terror, aincha Havoc? This varmint's even bigger'n the one ya dropped on mah barn!"

Ranma pouted, hanging her head at the nickname. "Yeah, well, the scaly freaks keep tracking me down and tearing up the place. What am I supposed to do?" Then she frowned. "Also, what are you all doing here, anyway? You headed somewhere?"

"Nah! We've been looking for you!" Rainbow said, swooping down in front of the martial artist. Then she extended a hoof. "By the way, I don't think we've been introduced! I'm Rainbow Dash!"

Ranma stared at the hoof, and then awkwardly raised her leg to “shake” it. "I'm Saotome Ranma," she said in reply.

"Havoc. Your name is Havoc," Rainbow Dash corrected.

"Oh, COME ON!" Ranma groaned, hanging her head. "You all know my real name! Even the dumb bounty posters are using my real name!"

"But Havoc is an awesome name!" the other pegasus countered, clearly unwilling to give up on the matter.

"It makes me sound like some kind of cartoon villain!"

"Sure, but an AWESOME cartoon villain!"

Ranma groaned again. "Ugh, fine. Call me whatever you want. I don't even care anymore."

"Ha ha! YES! Havoc it is!" Rainbow Dash thrust a hoof into the air victoriously, much to the exasperation of the other mares.

"ANYWAY... I'm sure you're wondering why we're here to see you," Twilight interjected.

"I'm guessing it's for the MacGuffin Stone, right?" Ranma asked, sitting down. "That's what you were looking for the last time you tracked me down." She shook her head. "And the answer is still no. I'm sorry Sparks, but I'm not giving up the MacGuffin Stone. Even to you."

Twilight set her jaw. "I understand, Ranma. But I'm not just here for the artifact. I'm here for you. I want you to come back to Ponyville with me."

The redhead arched an eyebrow, and then she cringed back slightly. "This... wouldn't happen to involve a promise from my pop, would it?"

"What? No. Didn't you say you were from another planet? How would that even work?"

"Just checking. Never mind. Go ahead." She sighed in relief.

Twilight was actually very tempted to explore the bizarre question, but pressed on regardless. "Ranma, I've seen the posters. I've spoken to the bounty office. I've negotiated with Princess Celestia. I can help you clear your name, and I think it's critical that you do so."

The cursed pegasus immediately looked skeptical, but Twilight held out a hoof.

"Please, just hear me out. Princess Celestia is very important to me, as a teacher and a friend, and I take the safety of Equestria very seriously. Which is why I want you on OUR side, rather than pushed away over a misunderstanding!" She raised a wing to gesture toward Spike. "I don't know you very well, but I do know that both Spike and Zecora, whom I would trust with my life, have defended you. And, just as importantly, I know that when I was in danger, you risked everything to help me."

Twilight chewed her lip for a moment. "That... well... it's hard to overstate how moving that was. You saved my life. Yet you didn't tell the newspapers that. Or tell the guards chasing you that. Or even tell ME that! You never asked for any reward or even an acknowledgement, even though it exposed you to danger and brought you into direct conflict with more soldiers. You didn't just challenge Blood Rite to bring me home safe, but every single Equestrian guard that might have stood in your way as well! If the Princesses themselves had tried to stop you, there's not a doubt in my mind that you would have fought them too."

Applejack's brow furrowed. "Wait, how's that a good thing?"

"It's really not, which is my point," Twilight explained with a sigh. "Ranma, I believe you'll always try to do the right thing, or at least what you THINK is the right thing, no matter who tries to get in your way. You already fought Princess Luna to try to keep the MacGuffin Stone out of her hooves, and the panic in Canterlot has only gotten worse since then. If we don't put a stop to this bounty hunt, clear your name, and find a way to secure the Stone in a way that everypony can agree on, then eventually it's going to escalate into a showdown, and a lot of good ponies are going to get hurt." She gently lifted a hoof and placed it on Ranma's shoulder, staring deeply into her sapphire-blue eyes. "I'll do anything to prevent that. Please. PLEASE come back with me. Plead your case before Princess Celestia. I know we can get you a formal pardon and reprieve. It's hardly equivalent to the way you rescued me, but at least let me try to help you this much."

Twilight finished speaking, and Ranma slowly gulped. That had been... surprisingly heartfelt and persuasive. Way more so than Princess Luna's lofty commands, or even Trixie's. She was drawing a complete blank in trying to come up with a reply, but the fact remained: she didn't want to. Ranma didn't want to go back to Ponyville. Ranma didn't want grovel in front of some uptight royal lunatic - who definitely didn't control the sun, no matter what the ponies said about her - for forgiveness. And most of all, Ranma didn't want to have to leave Trixie's side to go resolve the stupid criminal record which wasn't even his fault to begin with. Mostly.

"Aw, geez Sparks... I... I dunno..." Ranma mumbled, her ears pinning back. It was a pathetic refusal, and she knew it.

"Don't be like that, dude! It'll be fun!" Rainbow Dash said, flapping up higher into the air. "Hey, while you're in Ponyville I can give you flying lessons! We’ll have you recovering from death dives in no time!" she chuckled into a hoof.

"Ah guess while yer in town mah family could give ya a room," Applejack mused. She didn't look thrilled at the idea, but felt compelled to help this matter along. "Long as yer willin' to do a few chores to pay yer way. And try not to get mah orchard wrecked by angry critters again."

"It's the least we can do after what you did for Twilight!" Spike added. "And, well... between us, I think you can use a little vacation from this bodyguard thing you're doing for Trixie."

Ranma perked up instantly. "Wait! That's right! My job! I can't just leave! I have a job to do!"

Twilight grimaced, wishing Spike hadn't tried to help. She didn't understand why Ranma and Trixie traveled together or why they wouldn't gladly split if the opportunity arose, but it seems her assistant had been right about the main leg of resistance to bringing Ranma to Ponyville. She'd already tried to talk Trixie into it and been dismissed. If she couldn't even get Ranma to agree, then she didn't know what she'd do.

"We're not asking you to move into Ponyville permanently. Resolving your record shouldn't take more than a week, at the most. If you want to leave after that, you're of course free to do so," the Princess explained patiently.

"A week? Trixie's supposed to be on her own for a week?!" Ranma asked, looking shocked.

"It's, uh, been a while since we last saw her, but didn't she travel on her own all the time?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah, she did. Back before she was getting into fights with bandits and bounty hunters and sorcerers and zombie ponies. It's just not safe to travel around here alone anymore," Ranma insisted. "So I'm real sorry that you came all this way to find me, but I just can't-"

"RAAAAAAAANMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Everypony jumped as a howl of rage and loss erupted from the forest.

"WHOA. Was that Trixie?" Rainbow Dash asked, whipping around in the air.

"She sounds madder'n a timberwolf on fire!" Applejack noted.

"What's she angry about NOW?" Spike griped.

Twilight Sparkle didn't offer her own commentary, because she was watching Ranma. The pigtailed pony had turned almost solid white, and the last scraps of her casual confidence were completely gone now. Her jaw hung open, her eyes bulged, and her legs quivered. It was a perfectly absurd expression while she was standing next to the unconscious dragon she had blown out of the sky, but somehow Twilight didn't feel like laughing. Ranma was terrified.

The martial artist seemed to fight some brief, internal battle, staring up at the sky as if she was imploring the gods themselves. Then she closed her eyes, bracing herself, and bolted off toward the burnt campground.

"... Well, shucks. Maybe Trixie ain't gonna be a problem after all," Applejack mumbled, slowly following after her.

"I don't get it," Rainbow said flatly. "What's she screaming about? What'd Ranma do?"

"Ranma was talking about that wagon before… Do you think…?" Twilight muttered, levitating Spike onto her back. "Let's go!"

The scene was exactly what Ranma expected.

Trixie was sitting on the ground before a mound of scorched debris. The debris that had been her brand-new (if slightly damaged) travel wagon. The magician had her head bowed, and she was breathing heavily through clenched teeth. A small cart, barely as big as she was, sat abandoned on the side of the road nearby, containing some groceries, nails, and Trixie's saddlebags.

Ranma stopped at the edge of the clearing, trying to work out what to say. She hadn't deliberately made any noise to alert Trixie to her, and had even been extra quiet on the approach.

So it was quite an unpleasant surprise when Trixie suddenly whirled to face her, nearly incandescent with rage.

"RANMA..." Trixie hissed.

Her horn, and then her entire body, was swallowed by what appeared to be pink flame. It was an interesting reflection of Ranma’s own battle aura that she would have been quite excited to observe in very different circumstances. The martial artist froze stiff, and then started stuttering.

"N-Now Trixie, j-just... lemme explain! P-Please! I swear! Th-This isn't my f-fault!" Ranma begged.

Trixie started stomping forward, her eyes twin mirrors of angry crimson. "THE WAGON... IS GONE."

"Y-Yes. Yes it is," Ranma agreed, whimpering slightly. "And I am really, REALLY sorry about that! But it wasn't my fault! A dragon did it!"

"A DRAGON," Trixie sneered.

"Yes! A dragon! And not just any dragon! You remember when we went to Rite's tower, and then it blew up, and then a dragon just appeared out of nowhere and started bugging me and then you shouted at it and it left? It was THAT dragon!" She paused. "I, uh, don't know if that helps or not."

"IT DOESN'T," Trixie assured him.

The others arrived on the scene behind Ranma, rapidly slowing to a stop just beyond the trees. The mares seemed fairly alarmed at the sight of the furious unicorn staring down Ranma, although Spike just groaned wearily.

"Wait! Look! They can vouch for me! They saw the dragon! They helped me beat him!" Ranma said desperately, flailing a foreleg toward the Ponyville residents.

"Yes! That's true! We all saw Kamikazan!" Twilight agreed.

"Plus, y'know, he's still here. He's lying in a heap like half a mile behind us," Rainbow Dash added.

"Ah mean, we didn' see him burn down yer wagon, 'zactly, but it sure looks like a dragon attack t'me," Applejack said with a nod.

"See? See? There really was a dragon! He did it! You have to believe me!" Ranma said, standing up a little straighter than before.

"OF COURSE I BELIEVE YOU!" Trixie shouted. In an instant, Ranma's legs turned to rubber and she shrunk back onto the ground. "EVEN I SAW THE DRAGON! EVERYPONY IN THE WHOLE HAYBLOWN CITY SAW THE DRAGON! THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM, YOU FEATHERBRAIN!"

Somehow it stuck out to Ranma that Trixie was so angry she had reverted to using proper first-person pronouns. That had never happened before, and somehow it leant this encounter a degree of seriousness and gravity that deeply disturbed her.

"THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE WAS A DRAGON IN THE FIRST PLACE! THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE DRAGON IS THE LATEST IN A LONG, LONG LINE OF MONSTERS, VILLAINS, AND ASSORTED THUGS THAT HAVE ATTACKED ME AND MY PROPERTY BECAUSE OF YOU! THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE ONE - AND ONLY ONE - THING I ASKED OF YOU WAS TO KEEP OUT OF TROUBLE FOR A DAY SO THAT WE COULD BUY A NEW WAGON TO MAKE OUR TRAVELS A LITTLE BIT EASIER! AND LOOK AT US NOW!!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Ranma pleaded, hugging the ground in front of the screaming unicorn.

"SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH!" Trixie boomed, causing the others to flinch. "THIS ISN'T A LITTLE SCRATCH ON THE SIDING, OR A CROSSBOW BOLT IN MY FLANK, OR THE UNNECESSARY DESTRUCTION OF SOME RANDOM BUILDING! ALL OUR POSSESSIONS WERE IN THAT WAGON! EVERYTHING WE EARNED IN METALLEUS! OUR BOOKS! OUR FIREWORKS! OUR PROPS! OUR NOTES! OUR FOOD! OUR MONEY! OUR THINGS! WE WERE ON EASY STREET THIS MORNING AND NOW WE HAVE NOTHING!!"

Applejack frowned and took a step forward. "Hey now, ya still got yer groceries, at least. Let's jus' calm-" Her hat promptly lifted up off her head in a cloud of pink and then covered her face, muffling her.

Trixie hadn't even looked up, her wrathful gaze still burning into the cursed pegasus on the ground beneath her. "TELL ME, CALAMITY, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP US FED WHEN EVERYTHING WE OWN VANISHES IN A PUFF OF DRAGON BREATH? HOW LONG DO YOU THINK WE CAN LAST BY LOOTING RANDOM BANDITS AND ANGRY ASSASSINS FOR A LIVING WHEN IT JUST ATTRACTS MORE OF THEM? WHY SHOULD I EVEN KEEP YOU AROUND AS A BODYGUARD IF YOU CAN'T PROTECT ANYTHING?! WHAT GOOD ARE ALL YOUR STUPID MARTIAL ARTS IF-"

"All right, that's enough!" Twilight shouted, interrupting the magician. Her horn flickered, and Trixie's attention finally broke away from the pigtailed equine on the ground.

Ranma was balled up on the ground, quivering, and pale as a sheet. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her forelegs curled up over her head, as if shielding herself from blows that never came. It was honestly hard to imagine that this was the same pony who had beaten a great red dragon halfway to death only minutes before, now shaking and choking back sobs before the anger of a mere stage magician.

"Ranma already fought Kamikazan to avenge your wagon, and screaming isn't going to bring it back," Twilight insisted, stepping up next to the cursed pegasus. "Although if you'd like to cut down on the number of bounty hunter attacks in the future, I can help with that..."

Trixie's glare bored into the Princess, but Twilight didn't flinch. Eventually her angry stare returned to Ranma, who yelped and covered herself again.

Then Trixie turned around and started stomping away.

"Trixie? Where are you going?" Twilight asked.

"Away," Trixie snapped, still walking toward the woods.

Rainbow Dash started to float after her. "But, what about-"

"Shut up," Trixie snapped again, passing between the trees. “Trixie needs some time to herself right now.”

She kept walking, and nopony else said anything to stop her. Within minutes, the unicorn had disappeared within the forest.

Nobody quite knew what to say after that. Ranma had stopped shaking on the ground, at least, but now stared forlornly in the direction that Trixie had wandered off. The small cart that contained Trixie's recent purchases and apparently the last of her money still sat by the side of the road next to the great heap of cinders. Minutes passed, broken up by the occasional clearing of a throat or awkward shuffle of hooves.

Finally, the redheaded pony stood up from the ground. With great reluctance, and no small amount of heartache, she turned around to face the various Ponyville residents.

"Hey... Spike? Can you write a letter for me?"

"Well, well, well. Isn't this a sight?"

A young griffon swooped down from the branches of a tree, whistling to himself at the sight next to the road. Piles of scorched wood lay within a blackened crater. Streams of dark smoke stretched upward into the sky. Huge furrows had been clawed into the dirt. Trees sat at unusual angles, with their roots partially torn from the ground and portions of their branches burned, shredded, or broken. It looked every bit the battlefield, which isn't all that surprising given that a dragon had passed by very recently.

And bizarrely, in the middle of all of it, was a little wooden cart loaded down with food and supplies.

The griffon crouched low, his eyes scanning for danger and his talons on his dagger's hilt while he dashed across the ground. He generally tried to avoid thievery around Lancanter; the economy was good enough that he could easily earn an honest living. But a single untouched trove of goods in the middle of a wasted battlefield was just too weird and too good to pass up. Surely if he didn't take advantage, the next random passer-by would. The cart's owner was almost assuredly ash and dust by now anyway.

He reached the cart, took a last look around, and then started sifting through the contents. It was mostly filled with sacks of grain and vegetables, although there were other items piled on top. Blankets, an empty canteen, a box of nails, and most conspicuously, a small sack with a rolled-up piece of paper tied to it.

"Finders, keepers!" Scooping up the sack generated the delightful sound of jingling coins. The griffon didn't spare much thought about the scroll attached to it, and started digging through the cart further. There was an awful lot here, and if there was anything completely worthless he'd rather ditch it right away than lug the cart around only to dump it later. Near the bottom of the supplies he found a pony's saddlebags, and he started pulling it up to the top of the pile so that he could check inside.

About at the same time, a gentle pink glow wrapped around the hilt of the dagger secured at his belt. It started to slide free of its sheathe, and the griffon froze.

"Hm? What was thAAAAAAH!!" the thief screamed as his own blade stabbed into his thigh, and he sprung into the air in a desperate panic. The coin bag dropped to the ground during his flight, landing upon a thin splash of blood across the dirt.

Whirling around, he immediately noticed a blue unicorn plodding toward the cart. Her head was hanging down, obscuring her face under a big, star-spangled wizard's hat, but a residual pink glow revealed the source of the sudden assault.

"HEY! What do you think you're doing?! Are you trying to kill me?!" he snarled, pulling his blade free of his leg.

Trixie stopped. Then she tilted her head up to stare at the griffon. Her expression was pure, icy contempt; she may as well have been staring at a rodent rather than an armed outlaw.

"Useless," the unicorn snorted. "Keeping petty thieves away from Trixie's things USED to be the one thing he was still good for. Where is that lazy weirdo?"

The griffon didn't understand most of that, but he did understand that this mare was apparently claiming the cart for herself. He might have backed off under normal circumstances, but wasn't feeling too charitable with his leg bleeding.

"This is your cart? Prove it! I found it sitting here after that dragon attack! For all I know the owner died and you're just trying to snatch it from right under my beak!"

A vein popped up on Trixie's head. Rather than responding, she pushed her hat up slightly higher, fully exposing the pink glow of her horn.

From the nearby pile of burnt-out wreckage, several smoldering chunks of wood levitated into the air. Most of them were thin and narrow, forming crudely pointed sticks and planks that all turned to point at the hovering griffon. Dozens of improvised projectiles spread across the road, each one pulsing with levitation magic.

The thief quickly decided that perhaps the charitable response was warranted after all. "Okay, you know what? Why don't we call this a wash? Not my stuff, not my problem. You can have it."

Trixie's eyes narrowed. "You have a purse. Leave it."

"Wh-What?" The griffon's eyes bugged out. "Wait, are you ROBBING me?"

"You tried to rob Trixie first," the unicorn snarled. "Consider this a penalty fee."

The thief rolled his eyes and started to turn away. "Yeah, whatever. Get bent, you nutty unico-"

The clasp around Trixie's neck flashed, and then her magic turned from pink to furious crimson. Flames burst around the tips of all of the wood pieces, turning each one of them into a fiery missile.

"OKAY! OKAY! I get it! Here! I'm sorry!" the griffon swiftly cut his own purse off of his belt in a panic, letting it fall onto the road. "Take it! Just let me go! Please!"

Trixie's horn dimmed, and the flames at the ends of the wood planks fizzled. The griffon took this as an agreement to his terms, and he immediately whirled around and zipped up into the air.

Trixie shuffled miserably toward her supply cart. It was a tiny, pitiful thing, smaller than a wheelbarrow and boasting four little wheels that struggled to navigate anything rougher than paved roads. She had bought it with the intent of transporting it within the travel wagon, perhaps using it to help Ranma run some errands. Now its contents were everything she owned aside from her hat and cape.

As she approached the cart, however, she noticed something odd. There seemed to be a few things there that she didn't remember buying or bringing with her. Had the thief started adding his own possessions to hers with the intention of transporting all of them?

Trixie noticed a small coin sack and scroll sitting in the road, and levitated it into the cart. With a grimace, she then pulled the scroll open and floated it in front of her.

"Dear Trix," she began aloud. Instantly Trixie felt a sense of unease welling up in her stomach. "By the time you read this, I'll be on my way to Ponyville with Sparks. After everything that's happened I figured it was the only real option left. I begged Sparks and the others for the supplies and money they brought with them, and left them in your cart. I'll work it off when I get back to Ponyville, but I know it doesn't come close to replacing everything I've cost you."

Trixie paused to rub at her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I know you're tired of hearing me apologize, and it's not really my fault anyway, so instead of saying sorry again I'll just say thank you. You saved my life and taught me a lot, but all I've done for you is put you in danger. Maybe with Spark's help I can at least get this stupid bounty off my head and things will settle down. Maybe I can find a way to make it up to you, earn enough to pay my keep, and meet up with you again in the future. B-But..." Trixie's voice started to break, and the magic holding the paper in the air started to waver. "But until then I'm not going to burden you anymore. Thanks for being a friend, Trix. Signed... uh..."

The parchment slowly floated to the ground. Trixie's gaze followed it, staring down at the indecipherable symbols at the bottom of the page. They were written in a wobbly scrawl, like a young colt's scribblings when they were first learning to write with a pen in their mouth, as opposed to the crisp, practiced script of the rest of the letter. Trixie could only guess that the bizarre sketches were supposed to mean "Ranma Saotome" in his native alien language. Frankly, they made her more skeptical than ever that the martial artist was literate.

After several seconds, Trixie's horn lit up again. The parchment rolled back up and then floated into the cart.

Without another word, the unicorn hitched herself up to the cart and wheeled it onto the road.

Then she started walking down the path. The heaps of burnt wood soon disappeared behind the trees, abandoned at the end of a trail of wheel tracks and wet spots in the dirt from falling droplets.

But there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

"...... What a completely bizarre conclusion. These ponies are absolute lunatics."

Blood Rite sat behind a large tree, idly crunching on a peanut. Hovering in front of him was a hazy image of the devastated camp site, now finally abandoned by everypony involved. He had been observing the area from a distance ever since he saw the mid-air cyclone that swatted Kamikazan from the sky, waiting to see if any opportunities arose to intervene.

No such opportunity arose, sadly. Merely some sort of extended drama that finally pried Havoc from the haughty blue unicorn that considered herself his master. Unfortunately that separation ended with the MacGuffin Stone being escorted by three of the Elements of Harmony as well as the mystery stallion, which hardly made his task any easier.

Rite briefly considered approaching Trixie, but decided against it. He couldn't gauge the mare very well and she had proven obnoxiously clever in the past. Even if he could convince her to replace Swan Song and help him steal the artifact, he'd constantly have to be on the lookout for betrayal and subversion. Bad idea.

There was another potential ally left behind by this mess, however...

Closing the scrying mirror, Rite wiped his mouth and stepped over the pile of discarded peanut shells. Then he trotted up through the forest toward the site of a catastrophic dragon crash.

Kamikazan was an odd creature. Mercurial, yet uncomplicated. Intelligent, yet short-tempered. Violent, yet mostly beholden to less destructive passions. Rite had mainly learned about him as the source of the residual magic energy in Flamehearst, and then as a potential means of unlocking the MacGuffin Stone's true power. In the past he'd considered at length the possible ramifications of awakening the dragon prince, and how it might affect the greater balance of power across the world.

Seeing the great red serpent now, in a broken heap curled up in an impact crater, made the whole thing seem kind of silly, though.

"Time to wake up, Prince," Rite said, his horn flickering white. "You've been through enough, but there's so much more to do..."

Rite's magic reached out to the dragon, carefully administering a jolt of energy directly into Kamikazan's nervous system. The shock would have been intensely painful to a pony, but to the massive serpent it qualified as a gentle nudge.

"Uuuhmm... Urgh... Uhhn?" Kamikazan twitched, his arms curling and his body shifting on the ground. His eyes fluttered open, but then instantly squeezed shut again under the pounding within his skull. He tried to stretch his wings out and fold them into a resting state, but the tremors of agony it sent up his spine rendered him instantly immobile.

"Everything hurrrrrts," the dragon prince moaned. A tear as big as Rite's head welled up behind a swollen red eye, and then slowly rolled down his cheek.

Blood Rite was honestly embarrassed for the creature, although he was very glad the serpent had lost. He had only witnessed the parts of the battle easily visible from a safe distance, but it seemed clear that Kamikazan had intended some degree of collateral damage. While Rite obviously wished to recover the MacGuffin Stone, ideally from atop a pile of Havoc's smoldering ashes, such an outcome was only worth so many innocent pony lives.

For now, though... "Hello, Prince Kamikazan. Please forgive my presumption in waking you, but we have some things to discuss, I believe."

Kamikazan turned his head the very minimum degree possible so that he could squint at Rite through the pain. "Who...?"

"My name is Rite," the sorcerer said, bowing his head. "No need to introduce yourself, Prince; I know who you are. I won't bore you with my life story, but in a nutshell I've been tailing that obnoxiously agile shapeshifter that knocked you down here."

"K-King," Kamikazan stuttered. "I'm a KING... not prince."

Rite diplomatically avoided rolling his eyes. "Why don't I simply call you 'your Majesty' and dispense with any confusion as to your precise royal claim? You seem to be in a tough spot, Majesty."

Kamikazan shifted his body slightly closer to an upright position. "Ac-c-cursed... pest!" he stuttered. "H-How... dare he! ... She? Dare she? I... I don't know!"

"Yes, well... the precise gender of our mutual enemy is questionable, although I first encountered him as a male. The more important thing, however, is that he or she has triumphed. You are broken, and the Equestrians may even now be preparing to attack and detain you." Rite started walking along the floor of the crater, staring up at the sky in thought. "I too have felt Havoc's wrath, although he's never attacked me with quite so much fury. It may be that as a fighter, Havoc is beyond any single creature to defeat." He reached the upper lip of the crater and then turned around, pacing back across.

Kamikazan shifted again, though he dared not lift his head from its current resting place. "Havoc... No. His name... is Ranma. Ranma Saotome. And I would have HAD him... if not for those blasted mares!"

Rite continued pacing. "That may well be. But hindsight does not serve you well from down here, your Majesty. I'm not certain why you wish Havoc, or Ranma, or whatever the ape's name is, dead. But I'm certain I can help."

"I don't want him dead," Kamikazan grumbled. "Not really. All I want is..." The dragon prince hesitated, and then his eyes narrowed. "Wait. Your name. What was it?"

Rite grimaced while he continued his pacing. He had assumed that the dragon wouldn't care about his identity, but he decided to be honest. If there was some conflict he'd rather be aware of it now while it was still easy to flee. "My name is Rite, your Majesty."

"Rite? Blood Rite?" Kamikazan pressed.

Blast. The fool has heard of me. Better prep a teleport... "Yes, your Majesty. The same," Rite confirmed.

"Then YOU are my target!" Kamikazan bellowed, lifting his head from the dirt. "Surrender the... the... urgh..."

His cheeks swelling as if he was choking back vomit, Kamikazan collapsed back onto the ground. It wasn't much of a fall, as the dragon had barely budged from his previous position. It was still an utterly humiliating sight, however, and Rite hadn't even slowed in his pacing across the crater.

"... Yes? Surrender what, exactly?" Rite asked, eyebrow arched. "Why are you looking for me? And if you are, how did you manage to end up fighting Havoc, of all ponies? We're not on good terms."

Kamikazan coughed, spitting a cloud of embers from his maw. "Ugh... The MacGuffin Stone. I... I demand the MacGuffin Stone."

Rite stopped in his tracks. In his mind, several puzzle pieces clicked into place. New questions and scenarios arose. "Hmmm... I see. Then we have a problem."

"Do not think... you can escape..." the dragon prince wheezed. "Even if I cannot... stand right now... I have your scent. You will not escape me for long."

"Yes, yes. Very intimidating when you're not beaten and gasping in a big dragon-shaped hole, I'm sure." Blood Rite started his pacing again. "The problem I was referring to is that you're mistaken. I'm not your target. Because I don't have the MacGuffin Stone."

Kamikazan growled, although even that agitated noise sounded weak and unintimidating. "Then who DOES?"

"Why, our little friend Havoc-slash-Calamity-slash-Ranma does, of course," Rite clicked his tongue. "Really, that much should be obvious. He was wearing the blasted thing right out in the open. You didn't notice?"

Kamikazan blinked. "Wearing it? But... all he was wearing was... wait... that clasp? That was the MacGuffin Stone?"

"You came all this way, challenged a cursed ape, and nearly burnt down a forest all for this gemstone and you didn't even know what it looked like?" Rite was trying not to talk down to the prideful serpent, but it was impossible to keep all the scorn out of his voice.

"I didn't think... he would wear such a thing like... like some petty amulet!" Kamikazan snarled back. Then he calmed, and a puff of smoke blasted from his nostrils. "But no matter... I will recover my strength, then I will lay WASTE to that insolent equine. And then... at last... I will have the key to Celestia's heart... and she... will... be... MINE!"

Again, Blood Rite stopped in his pacing as more questions were suddenly answered. "Celestia? You're... seeking the MacGuffin Stone for Princess Celestia?"

"I am," Kamikazan growled. "And I will let NOTHING stand in my way!"

The great red dragon surged to his feet, lifting himself off the ground and into a proper sitting position.

Then he whimpered, coughed up some more sparks, and slowly lowered himself back down onto his belly.

"... That is, nothing will stand in my way once I've had time to properly recover from this setback," the dragon prince amended, settling into his current position. At least it was more comfortable than his previous pose, if nothing else.

"Ah. Yes. About that," Rite mumbled. "You mentioned those 'blasted mares?' I presume you're referring to Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends? They're with Havoc now. Do you know why they're here?"

Kamikazan arched a brow. "No... why?"

"They're here for Havoc. Specifically, they're here for Havoc for the same reason you and I were here for Havoc," Rite explained.

"The artifact..." the dragon prince hissed.

"Yes. And since they had the foresight not to try to kill him for it, it seems they succeeded, too."

"It matters not," Kamikazan spat. "However many ponies must become dust and ash, none will stand between me and my goal! For now, that is the MacGuffin Stone, but it is but a means to secure my precious mate! I will destroy these usurpers, and return the artifact to Princess Celestia!"

"Uh huh..." Rite sighed. "Your Majesty, do you know WHY Princess Twilight sought the MacGuffin Stone to begin with? Do you know where she's taking it?"

"... No. Why does that matter?"

"We have much to discuss, then. Things are not so simple as either of us had hoped." Motes of light gathered at the tip of Rite's horn, spinning into a small magic circle. "But if your Majesty could find the strength to transform into a less... imposing body, I think I may have a safer, more comfortable setting in which you could recover."

Kamikazan tilted his head as much as he could without causing lightning bolts of pain to shoot into his skull. "It is good that you know your place and serve your betters, equine. However... I am curious. What were you talking about? What do we have to discuss?"

"I think we can help each other, your Majesty." The sorcerer smiled, and his horn pulsed. "But first... let's see to that wing, yes?"

Author's Note

Really should have sprung for the fire-proofing, Trix.

I really didn't intend for this one to be so long. I just kind of thought "well shucks there's no reason to leave the dragon fight out of this." Then I thought "no way can I just leave the aftermath for the next chapter. That's an agonizing cliffhanger for something that would be very easy to explain." Finally it was "well I guess I should explain what happened to the giant monster lying in a huge hole right outside of a major city, at least in the short term" and then it was all huge and here we are.

Update: Formatting improved :trixieshiftleft:

Homecoming

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 7
Homecoming

"You're telling me... that the lesser Princess is on a quest to recover the MacGuffin Stone... on Celestia's behalf?"

"Correct, your Majesty. There's no other reason for Twilight Sparkle to acquire the artifact."

"UNACCEPTABLE!! I was to return the Stone to Celestia! The reward for its return was to be MINE!!"

"Correct again, your Majesty. Sort of. It is Canterlot's prerogative to secure the artifact by any means necessary, after all."

"And what of MY prerogative?! How am I supposed to get my reward for the MacGuffin Stone if that pretender to immortality gives it to Celestia first?!"

"I'm sure our friends in Canterlot would find the plea unpersuasive, especially given that you already tried to secure it and failed. On top of that, I can only imagine Princess Celestia would be MOST uncooperative were you to slaughter her favored subjects just so you can present the MacGuffin Stone to her before they do."

"But that's not FAIR! I can't show up to Canterlot Castle injured and empty-taloned! I'd look pathetic!"

"Indeed, your Majesty. Very pathetic. On that all can agree."

Blood Rite sat atop a flat-topped boulder, perusing the contents of a spiral-bound notebook. Laying below him, on a bed of black sand, was Kamikazan.

The dragon prince was in visibly better shape than he was only hours ago, when he was knocked unconscious in a crater outside of Lancanter. Broken scales were in the process of being shed. Broken teeth were being pushed out by fresh ones. The swelling over his left eye had receded. And most importantly, his fractured wing had set itself to aid its repair.

Dragons, though mighty creatures made functionally immortal by their natural magic, did not typically recover from injuries with great speed or regenerate things like lost teeth. Rite couldn't tell whether Kamikazan's superior healing was a function of learned magic or some inborn trait from his vaunted lineage, but it was fairly unique among the great serpents and uniquely useful after being dragged away from a brutal defeat. He imagined that the dragon would be "combat ready" again within a few days and completely recovered within a week.

Remarkable time to repair such extensive damage to so much flesh and bone. And yet probably not quickly enough to still intervene in a simple drop-off between Twilight and Celestia.

The great red serpent glared up at Rite, smoke puffing from his nostrils. "If you brought me here to mock me, equine..."

"Not at all, your majesty," Rite assured him. "I brought you here because our goals converge toward a common interest: recovering the MacGuffin Stone from a certain uncooperative pony."

"It doesn't surprise me that such a bumbling thug has made numerous enemies. However..." Kamikazan's eyes narrowed. "Once the pigtailed one is crushed, I imagine our goals diverge considerably. I will NOT let you escape with the artifact, equine."

"Hmm..." Rite flipped the page of his notebook. "I suppose they do, at that... But I think perhaps you're missing the forest for the trees, Majesty."

The dragon frowned. "What do you mean?"

"The MacGuffin Stone is merely a means to an end: You don't necessarily want to complete Celestia's chore for her, you want Princess Celestia herself. That is not incompatible with my own aims. Once I'm done with her, the Princess will be removed from power and no longer necessary to maintain the crucial cycle of day and night. Such a Princess would be, if anything, much more receptive to the prospect of settling down with a nice mate for the rest of eternity, don't you think?"

"A delightful prospect," Kamikazan said dryly, "but why should I believe you? You are Celestia's enemy, and I know nothing about you or your so-called 'aims.' Why should I lend my power to the cause of tearing down the mare that I love?"

"Well, there's one very obvious reason: your recent failure and imminent humiliation," Rite noted, flipping the page of his notebook again. "You cannot possibly stop Twilight Sparkle from giving the MacGuffin over to Princess Celestia in your current state. I can."

"How?" Kamikazan demanded.

"I have many options, although considering who we're dealing with I'm leaning toward subterfuge and deceit," Rite admitted, scratching his chin. "Both parties - Canterlot and Havoc - mistrust each other greatly, and it would take little effort to spark a confrontation. The problem is swooping in at the correct time when the artifact is vulnerable..."

"Let us assume all that works and you recover this jewel," Kamikazan grumbled, "what then do you need my assistance for? Do you simply wish me to stay my wrath while you go about your plans?"

"Oh, no your Majesty. I will need slightly more than that..." Rite's lips twitched up into a smirk. "You see, the MacGuffin Stone has many properties that are crucial to me. One such ability is to absorb the magic power of Princess Celestia directly, such that I may alter the course of the very sun."

"Madness," Kamikazan scoffed. "A mere mortal sorcerer like yourself cannot toy with powers so far beyond your ken."

"Perhaps. And if so, then my rebellion will fail, Celestia shall retain her throne, and you are no worse off."

"Fair enough. But you still haven't gotten to the part you need my assistance for," the dragon rumbled.

"It may simply come to the point that we need to assault Havoc in order to recover the artifact for ourselves, and in that instance it would obviously be advantageous to combine our strength against him. But by and large it's less that I need your assistance with my ultimate plan and more that I need your... permission." Rite's smirk stretched further into a grin. "You see, in order to seize Princess Celestia's power, I have developed a weapon to neutralize her. In order to use the weapon, I require a power source. The MacGuffin Stone is the only plausible power source, but even it is merely a tool to harness the power of some other creature."

"So you need the power of Princess Celestia in order to power the weapon you need to capture the power of Princess Celestia," Kamikazan mused. "I believe that's what you equines call a 'catch-22.'"

"Oh, no. I don't need the Sun Princess in particular to power the weapon," Rite explained. "I could make do with one of the second-tier Princesses. Or an ancient demonic power. Or, say, a particularly powerful dragon..."

In an instant the dragon prince was on his guard. He shifted his body to face the unicorn and took up a crouched, defensive pose.

"You DARE?" Kamikazan snarled. "You think I would surrender my magic to the likes of you?!"

"Oh, no no no," Rite chuckled. "I wouldn't drain your magic away. I would trap you within the MacGuffin Stone - temporarily! - to power it directly. The difference is rather technical, but the gist is that you imprison creatures for a generic mana source, and you drain their magic in order to-"

"SILENCE!!" Kamikazan boomed. "You think to trap me within some bauble to power your creations?! Unacceptable! I should devour you for the suggestion!"

"As I said, it is but a temporary arrangement, your Majesty. Having spoken to multiple subjects who have been through the process, it is quite painless... if not a little confusing," Rite said. Despite the dragon's refusal, his voice was still light and cheerful, and he didn't seem at all threatened by the rejection.

"UNACCEPTABLE," Kamikazan hissed again through clenched teeth. "I will not put my fate in your hooves, sorcerer!

"I see. Ah, well. It was worth a shot." Blood Rite levitated his notebook up off the ground, and then stood up himself. "So, what will you do when you've recovered and Celestia has the artifact, then? Regardless of what happens after that it’s sure to be quite a humiliation."

Kamikazan started. "Wh-What? The artifact? But you said you were going to take it!"

"Well, yes. If you were going to cooperate in my plans. But you're not." Rite shrugged. "That's fine. I believe it will be slightly more vulnerable in Canterlot than being attached to the pigtailed scoundrel, so I'll just wait until it's been transferred. If you won't allow yourself to be used to power the artifact, then there's no reason to assist each other. I'll find some other way."

"You demand too steep a price, sorcerer! What's even the point of seizing the MacGuffin Stone from the lesser Princess if I still can't complete my quest?! How is this plot of yours any less a humiliation and betrayal?" the dragon demanded, slamming a fist onto the ground.

"Because my plan is the only means by which you will EVER lay with Princess Celestia," Rite said bluntly. The subtle mirth was gone from his voice now, replaced by a cutting, deadly serious tone. "Do you really think she was going to be yours if you recovered the MacGuffin? The idea is laughable. But even that distant possibility is closed to you now." He rose his head, staring down his nose at the red serpent. "Aid me, and I will give you the Princess. She will be stripped of her power, both magical and political. Helpless and alone. What happens to her after that is completely irrelevant to me."

Kamikazan gulped, an enormous lump rolling down his long, serpentine throat.

"But this prize requires a sacrifice. A matter of days within the gem. A paltry price, but if your pride cannot tolerate that, well..."

"Why does it have to be your weapon? If you think to defeat the Princess to seize her power, I can aid you directly in combat!" the dragon prince insisted.

"Your Majesty. Please." Rite shook his head. "We both know you could not truly bring your full might to bear against Celestia. One time you tried, and you spent the next few centuries trapped under an obsidian wasteland for your trouble. "

Then the sorcerer's expression changed further. He became bitter and downcast as he uttered his next words. "Besides, I could defeat Celestia on my own. Probably. But that is not the objective. I plan to break the bonds of destiny, not submit to them."

"You... what? Destiny? What are you blathering on about?" Kamikazan demanded.

Rite set his jaw. "Time is short, your Majesty. Choose. We can part here, and you can do what you'd like. But Princess Celestia will never be yours. Sparkle will give her the MacGuffin Stone, you will be scorned as an inept, malicious buffoon who couldn't even be trusted to seize some pony's treasure, and then some time later the royal Canterlot line will fall in a largely unrelated incident. OR... you agree to aid me. I will seize the artifact, use it on you, and by the time you're released Canterlot will be in ruins. Celestia will be powerless, and be given over to your... protection. If all goes well she won't even know of your complicity, although at that point it would hardly matter."

He had to spit the last word out through his teeth, as the prospect honestly made Rite feel ill. He had no illusions as to what he was doing; he was selling a mare - a Princess, at that! - like a piece of livestock. It was revolting, and wrong, and dozens of alternate plans and possibilities flitted through his thoughts. Part of him really hoped the dragon would think it too much and turn him down, but he knew he had to make the offer. Solving one of the main problems with his plan - the lack of a power source with which to attack Celestia - while also swaying a potential obstacle to his side was too great an opportunity not to try.

Kamikazan grimaced, turning his head away. Seconds passed while the serpent agonized over the bargain. The tense silence stretched into minutes. It was a frightening prospect, to leash his fate to that of some pony he had just met hours prior. So much could go wrong. Blood Rite could fail. Or he may succeed, but end up killing Celestia in the process. Or he might succeed and decide not to release his collaborator after all. Kamikazan could see no way to guarantee the stallion would hold up his part of the bargain entirely.

But Blood Rite was surely correct in his analysis. Celestia had given him a chance and he had failed her. In the past she had despised him for his cruelty and selfishness, but at least she respected his fearsome strength. But now? After he had been thrashed by a lowly equine rogue? This was the only way he could see to secure his prize.

Perhaps, though, he could secure a little more.

"I have one condition," Kamikazan finally said, his tongue snaking out between his teeth. "One other pony must be laid low during your little rebellion, should it actually succeed. If you help end him, then I will submit to be this artifact's... power source."

Rite arched an eyebrow.

"We must find and kill Ranma Saotome," Kamikazan snarled. "Whether by tooth and flame, or the machinations of your sorcery, I care not. The equine known as Havoc must die."

"...... I think that can be arranged," Rite replied, his lips curling into a smirk again.

Twilight Sparkle cracked a deep yawn and leaned backward, stretching out her wings. Little pains shot up her back, causing her to grimace and squeeze her eyes shut. The book she was levitating in front of her quivered in the air, slightly disturbed by her wavering concentration.

"Wings hurt, huh? I told you should have been working them earlier," Rainbow Dash admonished with a smirk. "Then again, I guess you didn't think you'd be fighting a dragon so soon after getting away from Blood Rite, did you?"

Twilight shot an unreadable expression at the pegasus. Rainbow was standing near the back of the train car, holding a toothbrush with her wingtips. Her mouth was currently full of toothpaste lather, and the cyan mare briefly stepped back into the tiny restroom stall to spit it out into the sink.

Then she wiped her mouth with a leg and stepped back into the main compartment of the train's sleeper car. "Where's Havoc? Still in the caboose?"

Twilight closed her eyes, and with a thought a flashing beacon appeared in her mind.

"Yes. He's still in the caboose," Twilight sighed. "I hope he's okay. He's taking this really hard."

"You mean she's taking this really hard, don't you?" Rainbow asked.

"No, Ranma asked me for some hot water a few hours ago. Presumably he's a stallion again." Then she tilted her head to the side. "Also, if he's not actually present to refer to, then 'he' is probably the best pronoun given that it's his real gender."

"Hmmm... I dunno. I kinda think Havoc is cooler as a pegasus. Or Calamity? Isn't that what Trixie called him before she stormed off? That's a cool name too!" Rainbow Dash mused.

"Dash, you've already bullied him into accepting a fake name because you like it better. Please don't do the same with his sex," Twilight deadpanned.

Rainbow chuckled and slid onto the seat opposite Twilight's. Applejack and Spike were already asleep, laid out on the slab-like beds built into the walls of the train's sleeper car. It was well past time that all the ponies should have been asleep, but some were more restless about the current state of affairs than others.

"Okay, okay. I hope HE snaps out of his funk soon, though. I have so many questions to ask him! That fight against Kamikazan was AWESOME! It made his battle against the dragonspawn look like a mid-evening cloud plow!"

Twilight had only a vague idea of what a cloud plow was and its relative difficulty/quality of spectacle, but she got the point. "Awesome in the technical sense, I suppose. There was nothing good about that battle."

"Well... okay, yeah. The way Trixie went off on him was less awesome. But he'll get over it," Rainbow said, stretching out her own wings. "He's gonna love Ponyville! As long as you don't blow him up again."

Twilight slapped her book closed and carefully dropped it onto the table, all the while glaring at her friend. "Yes. I'm sure he will. But we can't just brush aside what happened between them, as convenient as that would be. They were obviously very close."

"They didn't look that close from where I was flying," Rainbow murmured. "I mean, I get why she was upset, but who just unloads like that on a friend? Over a wagon?! And after he beat up a dragon over that same wagon!" Her face darkened, and she leaned in closer to Twilight. "Did you see the way he was shaking on the ground? I thought the poor guy was going to break into tears! What the hay happened to make him so afraid of her?"

Twilight sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. I'd like to ask, but... well, Ranma's been through a lot, and that seems like a... sensitive subject. I just want to help him clear his name and recover the MacGuffin Stone, and for that I really need him to trust me. One thing at a time."

"Yeeeeeah, about that..." Rainbow made a face, glancing over to the rear of the compartment. "I'm still not clear on how we're going to get him to give up the magic thingy. Didn't he already refuse?"

"He did. And I don't think it's going to be easy to change his mind, either." Twilight slumped in her seat. "If he won't surrender the MacGuffin Stone, then it’s going to be a lot more awkward asking Princess Celestia for a pardon. But I'm not going to try to steal it from him or trick him into giving it to me. It’s possible that this all turns into a stalemate, with Ranma keeping the artifact out of stubbornness and Equestria trying to trap him out of fear."

Then her expression hardened and she pushed herself up. "But it doesn't have to be like that. Ranma is a good pony! He's already helped us a lot by saving me and tracking down Blood Rite! He's fought dragons to stop their rampages even though he could have easily escaped himself! He could do so much good if we can just clear up this absurd misunderstanding! I want to be his friend!"

"Definitely!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Just gotta stop blowing him up!"

"I only did it once!" Twilight growled, her voice a near-shout. "Why won't you let it go?!"

"Because it's still hilarious," Rainbow giggled behind a hoof. "I mean, you completely demolished your house and blasted him all the way to AJ's place, and everypony just laughed it off as an accident. How many ponies would have even survived that?"

Twilight crossed her forelegs, glaring at the pegasus silently.

"Oh, fine. Be a stick in the mud." Rainbow hopped down from the bench and stretched out her wings again. "I think I'm gonna turn in. Probably going to have to work a double shift again for the Weather Team to make up for my Save the World days."

"Good idea," Twilight mumbled, stepping down from her own seat and slipping her book back into a saddlebag. "It is pretty late."

Rainbow Dash trotted over to her bunk - top row, of course, right over Applejack - and made a high jump right under the covers. She rolled about for a moment, wrapping the sheet around her, and then collapsed onto the pillow with a contented sigh.

Twilight moved next to her bunk and slipped her bag under it. Rather than climbing in, however, her eyes wandered to the door in the back of the train.

She closed her eyes, and the beacon in her mind's eye blazed as bright as any lighthouse.

Twilight opened her eyes again to stare at the door.

Then the young Princess headed for the back of the train.

"Hey, Sparks."

Twilight felt her heart jump slightly when Ranma greeted her without turning his head.

The stallion was at the rear platform of the caboose of the train, reared up against the railing that separated the train car from the open track behind it. He stared out at the land left behind, his pigtail fluttering in the wind. An empty water cup sat on the floor at his hooves.

Twilight shouldn't have been surprised that she hadn't snuck up on Ranma. She wasn't trying to, for one, and the sound of the caboose entrance opening was anything but silent. But somehow the mare suddenly felt like she had intruded upon something by coming here.

After several more seconds Ranma still hadn't turned to face her, and she considered turning away in embarrassment. She couldn’t decide what to say. The cursed pony's past still loomed large in her thoughts; both his immediate past of dragon-dueling and leaving Trixie's side and his supposed long-term past as a different creature from a different world where unicorns were some kind of novelty. How could she connect with somepony like him? Ranma seemed friendly enough to her, but she didn't kid herself that he considered her a friend he could trust. She could never forget that her first attempt to help Ranma ended with her electrocuting him and her second blew him up (as much as she wished other ponies would).

It made Twilight wonder: What had Trixie done that she and Ranma had become so close? Trixie was a self-absorbed liar and traveling showpony. It seemed strange to Twilight that Ranma could come to rely on somepony so selfish and vindictive. It didn't surprise her that their friendship had ended with Trixie screaming at him over random collateral damage until he left, only that it hadn't happened long before now. And yet... Ranma's final act as Trixie's companion was to ask Twilight and her friends to donate everything they could spare to help Trixie recover. He obviously didn't feel a shred of resentment over her behavior; only guilt.

"Do you miss her that much?" The words spilled out of Twilight's mouth before she could think better of it, suddenly breaking the wistful silence.

Ranma ducked his head, embarrassed. "I, uh... I guess. Sorry," he mumbled, slumping against the railing. "It’s been hours since we left and I'm just moping around."

"N-No! I didn't mean it like that!" Twilight stuttered. "You obviously have good reason to be sad! I don't know what you and Trixie have been through, but your letter made it really obvious you were close!"

The memory of Ranma, red-faced and stuttering, dictating his goodbye letter to Spike was burned into the Princess's mind as firmly as the sight of his launching tornadoes and cowering before Trixie's shouting. He apparently couldn't write himself, and he obviously found it humiliating to pour his heart out like that in front of mares he barely knew. But he had done it anyway.

Twilight wondered how Trixie had reacted when she saw the letter. Was she shocked? Angry? Sad? Elated? Or did she shrug it off with breezy indifference and rejoice in recovering some essential supplies and funds? The prospect fascinated her. Ranma was very easy to read - if still very strange and mysterious in other ways - but Trixie had become better than ever at fast-talk and manipulating a conversation. If Twilight took Trixie's words at face value, she would have guessed that the magician thought of Ranma as a useless, aggravating burden unfairly foisted upon her by cruel, unrelenting fate. Yet Spike's nagging doubts had become her own. There was clearly something there besides the professional relationship of a bodyguard and his long-suffering employer.

"How long do you think this will take? A pardon, I mean."

Ranma's question snapped Twilight out of her thoughts. "Well, that... depends. Surely you understand that it's very, very important to Princess Celestia that she recovers the MacGuffin Stone."

In an instant, Ranma's demeanor changed. He snorted irritably and turned so that he was leaning his elbow against the railing. "I already told you, Sparks. It isn't happening. The MacGuffin Stone is mine."

"Yes, I understand," Twilight said with a gentle nod of her head. "I want to change your mind."

Ranma wanted to retort with a stubborn jab to emphasize his defiance, but his heart just wasn't in it. He found Twilight's earnestness rather disarming, and he couldn't say that he was relishing ownership of the ancient artifact right now.

With a swipe of his foreleg, the MacGuffin Stone flipped up into the air, and then landed on his upraised hoof. He'd gotten much better and handling things without fingers, although he still hadn't mastered whatever absurd pony magic allowed them to grab or adhere onto things with their hooves.

"So much trouble over this dumb rock," Ranma growled. "Jealous cultists, evil sorcerers, dragons, and even pony Princesses. And what's it ever done for me?! The stupid thing won't even give me back my clothes! MAYBE it could change me back to a human and MAYBE it could send me home again, but nobody knows how to use it except that jerk Rite!"

Twilight stared at the artifact, blinking at her reflection in its prismatic surface. "Okay, um... I kind of brushed this off before, but where ARE you keeping the Stone when you're not visibly carrying it?"

Ranma didn't seem to be listening. "Every time I pin that guy down, he manages to escape somehow! But even if I did manage to trap him, what then? Does he know how to change me back or send me home? What if he doesn't? Or what if he does but it doesn't matter because of my magic allergy? What the heck am I supposed to do?! I feel like I'm running around in circles!"

Ranma stood up straight, glaring at the gem, and Twilight's heart skipped a beat. For a moment, it looked like he was preparing to fling it into the wilderness.

Instead, though, he tucked the MacGuffin Stone... away. Somewhere. It was gone now.

"I'd toss it or bury it if the stupid thing didn't attract everyone straight to it like some kind of jerk magnet." Ranma groused. Then he turned to look at Twilight, his ears pinned back. "No offense."

"None taken!" Twilight said with an awkward chuckle. "But this is also something we can help you with!"

Ranma's ears perked up instantly.

"Er... maybe," the purple mare added weakly.

His ears dropped again.

"I'd certainly want to study the MacGuffin Stone if it were released to Canterlot's control! Aside from helping you return to your birth species and home world, an artifact that powerful could potentially do enormous good for Equestria in the right hooves!" She smiled hopefully and fluttered her eyelashes. "As could its owner!"

Ranma didn't look very flattered, staring out at the tracks again. Twilight's expression turned serious again and she cleared her throat.

"I know you've been through a lot, Ranma, and you don't have much reason to trust me. Frankly, you're being very understanding and tolerant considering how Equestria has treated you and given that you know I want something from you. But I'm doing this to help you. Not just because you saved my life and I owe you something, but because you deserve it. You've worked too hard and risked too much to be chased out of Equestria over an escalating misunderstanding."

Twilight placed a hoof against Ranma's shoulders, and the martial artist blushed despite himself. He still didn't care for her plan of begging a pardon from Celestia or handing over the MacGuffin Stone; in fact, Twilight's record for helping him in general was rather questionable so far. But she was honestly trying and regretted her mistakes. That counted for a lot in Ranma's book.

"Th-Thanks," the pigtailed pony muttered, still facing away with his cheeks flushed. "If you guys hadn't shown up when you did, I don't know what I would have done. I mean, obviously I still would have beaten Kamikazan! Obviously. But, y'know... after that..."

Twilight smiled back, and then pointed a hoof toward the door. "We won't reach Ponyville station until morning. We should get some rest now." She turned around and headed toward the exit.

"... Yeah. That sounds good," Ranma mumbled, casting a final, regretful glance at the tracks behind him.

Twilight pushed the door open to the sleeper car, noting that the lights were off. She fed a little power to the tip of her horn to create more light, and then walked quietly up to her bunk.

"Good night Ranma," Twilight whispered, lifting the sheet up with her magic and then sliding under it. She slumped onto her side, facing the wall.

"G'night, Sparks," Ranma replied, dropping onto the bunk next to her.

The magic aura holding the sheet up faltered, dropping it over Ranma's side. He snuggled closer against Twilight's back, shifting about until he got comfortable. Then he sighed pleasantly and closed his eyes.

Twilight remained absolutely still, her eyes quite open and as wide as saucers. Her horn flickered intermittently, the magic still flowing despite the break in her concentration.

Several seconds passed, but the alicorn dared not move. Twilight had no idea what was happening or why. Her thoughts were a confused whirlwind, and sweat started to collect and roll down her brow.

Is this some sort of bizarre human thing? Did I make a mistake? Should I have pointed out the empty bunk? Was there some cue I missed during our conversation? Should I do something? Am I facing the wrong way? Maybe if clear my throat? I can teleport, right? Would that be rude? Why am I worried about being rude to a stallion who just climbed into my bed without permission? Should I scream? Would that help? Is he trying to tell me something? Could I give him a little shock as a hint? Does his magic allergy translate the specific effect of a spell at random, or does it also randomize the approximate quantity of magical energy used in manifesting the intended effect? Would he be mad if I blew him up again? Would I survive that at this close range? Is this what he wants in order to give up the MacGuffin Stone? If it is, shouldn't he say something? Where DID he put that thing? Is this all some kind of-

A soft snore snapped Twilight out of her silent panic. Ranma was asleep.

"Next stop, Ponyville station! Please take a moment to check your seating area for any personal objects you may have left behind! Thank you for riding with us, and we hope to see from you soon, everypony!"

A foghorn heralded the train's arrival, and the vehicle squealed to a stop next to the embarking platform. Station workers unlocked the car doors, and the few passengers disembarking at Ponyville began to exit the train.

"Well shucks, fights with dragon royalty aside, that wasn't so bad," Applejack cracked her neck as she stepped onto the platform, and then cast a glance back at the others. "Brought back yer stallion and made good time, too!"

"Hay, even the fight with Kamikazan was pretty great!" Rainbow Dash laughed while exiting behind the farmer. Then she launched herself into the air to hover above the platform. "That'll teach him to get sniffy with us! Pony power!"

Ranma exited next, but he wasn't really paying attention to the mares ahead of him. He was staring worriedly at Twilight Sparkle, who was stumbling toward the entrance behind him. The purple Princess looked exhausted, with her mane in disarray and bags under her eyes. When he'd woken up that morning Twilight had already left the bunk, and he'd found her sitting in one of the booth seats reading. Clearly she had gotten up too early, but when he'd tried to ask about it she just blushed and pretended not to hear him.

Spike was trailing behind the alicorn, and the young dragon seemed just as concerned. "Are you sure you don't want me to carry your bags, Twi? You look like you're about to fall over."

"N-No. No. Fine. I'm fine," she retorted, eye lids twitching. "Jus... Let's jus' get home..." She noticed Ranma's concerned stare and quickly turned her head away again, cheeks burning.

"Well, unless ya wanna give Havoc another pitch to hoof over the shiny thang, Ah think we better git a move on," Applejack noted.

Twilight's eyes glanced over to Ranma's. Then they darted away again, and she scurried past him with her head down. "L-Later," she mumbled, gaze pinned to the dirt.

"Well, all right. Ah'll see ya later, then," Applejack said with a shrug. "Bye, Dash. Havoc, yer with me. Ah reckon ya may not remember the way t'the farm, seein' how ya mostly traveled by bein' blasted through the air last time."

"Ha! True!" Ranma laughed. Then he sobered quickly. "Uh, sorry again about your trees and stuff. Not my fault."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Hey y'all! Ah'm back! And Ah brought back some help, too!"

Applejack let out a happy sigh as she crossed the threshold to her home, and then beckoned for the stallion behind her to follow. Ranma walked into the farmhouse uncertainly, looking around at the home interior.

Before long, three other ponies entered the living room: a tiny yellow filly with a red mane and a bow, an old, wrinkled, lime-colored mare, and a large crimson stallion with a harness around his neck.

"Hey everypony! This here's Havoc, some troublemaker that Twi tracked down 'round Lancanter." Applejack nudged her head toward the pigtailed stallion.

"My name is ACTUALLY Ranma," Ranma grumbled, rolling his eyes, "but I guess you can call me Havoc if you want. Everyone else does except Sparks."

"If ya wanna know why, ya'll might remember that tornado that ripped through the orchard 'bout a month ago and tossed a dragon critter into our barn. That was his doin'," Applejack said blithely. "Anywho, this here is Granny Smith. The squirt is Apple Bloom, mah sister. And the big 'un is Big Macintosh, mah older brother."

Big Mac gave a simple nod of acknowledgement and a small smile. The others were more suspicious, eyeing the gray stallion with narrowed eyes.

"Hey, Ah think Ah know you..." Apple Bloom mused, tilting her head to the side. "Miss Cheerliee told us to read a newspaper and explain the story fer class! Yer the one that attacked Princess Luna!"

"I didn't ATTACK her, it was a duel!" Ranma protested. "A duel that SHE started! What was I supposed to do?!"

"Couldn't ya have just said no?" Applejack asked.

"It was a matter of honor, okay? If you challenge me, then I have to accept. That's the rules."

Apple Bloom scratched her chin. "Didn't ya also beat up General Firebrand fer a rebellion to overthrow Canterlot's rule? That was in Silver Spoon's newspaper report."

"Well... Okay, fine, I did do that. That wasn't a rule thing. I guess that was kind of bad," Ranma said. "But I was only pretending to be an evil rebel at the time, and I couldn't figure out any other way to ditch him."

"Look, there ain't no question that Havoc here has made some mistakes," Applejack interjected, "that's part o' why he came to Ponyville. Ah'm not a hunnerd percent on 'im mahself - no offense, sugarcube - but he saved Twilight's life and she pulled out all the stops to bring him here so he could make amends and clear his name. If Twilight vouches fer him, then as far as Ah'm concerned, mah home is his home." She paused to pat the stallion on the shoulder. "Also, he owes me at least a week's hard labor fer the supplies Ah gave to Trixie."

Ranma offered an annoyed grunt, but made no further protest. Granny Smith hobbled forward and looked the martial artist over, squinting her eyes.

"Well, troublemaker he might be, but he looks like the sturdy sort. Good catch, Applejack! Ah'm right proud of ya! 'Bout time ya found yerself a beau."

"It ain't like that," Applejack said flatly. "Again, no offense Havoc, but yer not really mah type."

"None taken," Ranma agreed. "Besides, it would never work out. I'm a human!"

"Now, now. Ah know we come off as old-fashioned, but this is a progressive household," Granny assured him. "Yer kooky, made-up religions are all welcome here!"

"Can I get to work?" Ranma asked Applejack, his voice exasperated.

"Absolutely. Big Mac, you can take 'im from here. Ah'll get the guest room ready, an' then check on the farm chores."

The other stallion wordlessly walked toward the front door, and Ranma turned to follow him outside. They plodded toward the barn - freshly built and painted after Ranma's last visit to town - and then Big Mac stopped near the corner and turned.

The crimson farmer pointed a hoof toward a large wagon. It was stacked full of hay bales, and there were many more bales piled into small towers behind it.

"Move the hay inta the barn, please," Big Mac rumbled. "To the back."

Ranma actually jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. "Oh! R-Right. No problem."

The martial artist walked up to one such hay bale, dug a hoof underneath the edge, and then flipped it up in the air. The bale spun around, flinging hay scraps about, and then landed firmly on Ranma's back.

If Big Mac was impressed by the casual feat of strength, he didn't show it. The crimson pony watched silently while Ranma carried the bale into the barn and dropped it off next to a much smaller pile of hay bales in the far corner.

Ranma glanced back at the farmer. Big Mac smiled slightly and nodded his head. Then, without another word, the crimson stallion turned away and plodded off.

With no criticism forthcoming of his hay-moving technique, Ranma proceeded to the task ahead. It was dull, laborious work, and he didn't like it, but at least it was simple muscle labor that he was unlikely to screw up.

Upon his fifth trip to the hay wagon, he flipped three bales onto his back, one at a time, to create a small, uneven tower on top of him.

"This is gonna be a miserable week, but I have to do it," Ranma mumbled to himself while headed into the barn. "Can't screw up, and can't start any fights. If I can't pay everyone back and end up getting kicked out of this place, then I've got nowhere left to go. These are the only ponies other than Trixie who have ever tried to even give me a chance." He reached the back and then tilted to the side, letting the bales fall into place one by one. "Well, them and Swan Song, I guess."

Ranma shuddered.

Then he shuddered even more while a rumbling emanated from his belly. Ranma sat back on his haunches and pressed his hooves against his stomach. He had been given a few meager travel pastries for dinner the previous night and for breakfast on the train, which was basically all he had eaten in the past twenty hours. While he didn’t want to complain about the free food he was getting, they were far from the generous portions he was used to in Trixie's employ. After the fight against Kamikazan he was particularly hungry, and he was still looking at a full day's hard labor ahead of him.

He stared down at his stomach, and then looked up at the hay bales.

Hay was easily his least favorite horse food, clocking in just below plain grass, but it WAS food. Looking around, the barn also held piles of apples and crates of other crops. Unsurprising, of course, since he was on a farm. But surely those were higher-value products than a heap of straw.

I'm sure they don't want me eating any of the good crops, but they wouldn't miss a hay bale, would they? They have a ton of this garbage! I won't even eat a full bale. Just half. Well, no, if I leave a bunch of half-eaten straw that might raise questions. Full bale. Can't leave any evidence. Gotta be fast, and then back to work!

He glanced right, and then left. Ranma's ears perked, his heartbeat slowed, and he stretched his senses to their maximum, searching for any sign of intrusion or observation. A slight blue aura wrapped around his fur as he focused.

"...... Wait a minute." Ranma frowned and turned toward a stack of apple barrels on the side of the barn. One such barrel had a hole in the side and seemed to have apples piled around it, rather than inside of it.

He walked up to the barrel and glared at it. "So what's your deal? How long have you even been here? Are you like, barn security or something?"

A dart suddenly shot out of the hole in the barrel. Ranma jumped to the side with a yelp, barely avoiding the gleaming needle tip before it stabbed into a wooden support beam.

A moment later the top of the barrel flipped up and flew at Ranma, and a batpony in a black cloak leapt out in a dark blur.
Ranma caught the barrel lid on a hoof and held it in place, and was rewarded with the repeated thunks of several steel blades sinking into the wood. Flinging the improvised shield away, he flipped backward just before a pair of curved hoof talons sliced through the air toward him.

"Die, thief!" shouted the assailant, his voice a shrill hiss through his dark blue face mask.

"I didn't eat any hay! Leave me alone!" Ranma cried, landing on the side of a support beam and preparing to jump off to a good attack angle.

Before he could, a second batpony leapt down from the barn loft, stabbing her hoof talons for Ranma's head. He twisted quickly enough to avoid the blades, but his moment of hesitation let the assassin tackle him off the side of the beam and onto the ground.

"Goddamn ninja!" Ranma shouted, rolling backward while still entangled with the new pony. "Get offa me!"

He kicked her away at the end of his roll, sliding to a stop on his back while she was sent spinning into a wall. The mare failed to react quickly enough and impacted muzzle-first, bouncing off the newly constructed sideboard with a pained yelp.
Another pair of talons flew toward his exposed belly, but Ranma struck them with a hoof to knock the blades off-course. Then he flipped upright again, striking his other assailant in the nose while he did so.

"Get sent to some alien planet full of cuddly colored talking animals and I still have pajama-wearing lunatics trying to kill me!" the martial artist complained while the assassins quickly stumbled back into ready combat stances. "How are you guys even up right now? Aren't bats supposed to be sleeping during the day?"

"Mere daylight will not stay the blades of the Lunar Guard," hissed one of the assassins through his mask.

"Although we're pretty lucky you were assigned to work in the barn; it's cool and dim in here, which is SUPER convenient for our ambushes," confessed the mare.

One of the hay bales behind Ranma suddenly burst apart, and a third thestral jumped for the cursed equine's back.

Ranma's reflexes were faster than the soldier, however, and his surprise attack earned him a buck to the chest. The third batpony was sent careening backward through the air, although he received a mercifully soft landing among the stacked hay.

"Aw, are you kidding me?! Now I'm down a hay bale anyway, and I didn't even get to eat it!" Ranma shouted angrily.

The other ponies blink-blinked. "... What?"

Ranma leapt into action rather than explain himself, and soon the barn was given over to the sound of screeching battle cries and shouts of pain.

"Hey, Applejack! Applejack! Do you know where Havoc is?"

Rainbow Dash shouted excitedly and swooped into a dive when she spotted the farmer in the fields below. Applejack had to restrain a frustrated sigh at being interrupted while watering her crops; hardly any time had passed since Rainbow Dash had left at the train station, and she had a minor backlog of chores to get to now that she had gotten back to work.

"Ah think Mac has him workin' in the barn, but Ah'd rather ya didn't bother him right now. He just got here an' Ah wanna get as much work outta him as Ah can 'fore Twi drags him off to Canterlot."

"Barn, got it," Rainbow Dash said. "Don't worry, this won't take long. I just wanted to introduce the rest of the girls. I told them all about the dragon fight!"

Applejack glanced down the road and spotted Rarity and Pinkie Pie approaching at a brisk pace with Fluttershy trailing close behind them. "Well, ya know Ah don't mind entertainin' company, but like Ah said Ah'd prefer he not be distracted right now," Applejack drawled. "Aside from his chores, he's still sulkin' a bit over what all happened back in Lancanter. An' we're still tryin' to get on his good side so he'll give Twi the MacGuffin. Ah think y’all should give 'im some space."

"Sulking?! Well that's no good!"

Applejack cursed internally when Pinkie Pie accelerated to a gallop and raced over to join them. She hadn't meant for the other mares to overhear.

"I know what'll cheer him right up!" the pink pony shifted from a gallop into a bounce, jumping around Applejack and Rainbow Dash in a wide circle. "Let's throw him a Welcome to Ponyville party!"

"This is the same fellow that insists he's an alien come to this world through uncertain means and transformed into a pony, right?" Rarity asked once she reached a comfortable speaking distance.

"Uhm, I think that's the same one," Fluttershy confirmed hesitantly. "And the last time he was here a dragonspawn followed him from the Everfree and he shot it into the air with a tornado." She paused. "Along with himself."

"Yeah, that's the guy!" Rainbow said with a self-satisfied nod.

"Oh, dear... IS he an alien after all?" Rarity asked, grimacing slightly.

"Could be. Looks like a pony t'me, but Ah don't know of any other pony that can grow wings by addin' water or turn fire into a twister." Applejack shrugged, tipping her hat to the side. "Havoc don't strike me as the mysterious type, but there's an awful lot we don't know 'bout him."

"But what we DO know is pure awesome!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "He's some kind of cursed outlaw warrior who explodes when you use magic on him, throws tornadoes, fights duels of honor, turns into a pegasus, and carries a secret Artifact of Doom!"

"And this... dangerous-sounding fellow... is going to be staying on Applejack's farm performing rote manual labor?" Rarity asked with an arched eyebrow.

Applejack turned around and started leading the other mares toward the barn, deciding that there was no stopping them at this point. "Well, the way Ah see it, he's mainly good fer muscle work and huntin' dragons. And Ah don't need no dragons taken down."

"Yet," Rainbow added ominously.

Applejack shot her a harsh look. "Now you quit that. Ah'm takin' a risk havin' Havoc on mah property and livin' with mah family. If we start getting beasties roamin' the orchard lookin' fer his magic rock, then it's yer turn to put 'im up."

"Okay, deal!" Rainbow said with a smirk. The barn was just ahead now, although she couldn't spot Ranma anywhere. "But if there any battles here, make sure to let me know! I wanna watch!"

"What'd Ah just say?! Don't jinx me, Dash! Ah ain't aimin' to have no fights on mah farm!" Applejack snapped.

A loud crash came from inside the barn, followed by an agonized, high-pitched screech.

"... Aw, consarn it," Applejack groaned before doubling her pace.

The deep, meaty sound of a steel blade stabbing into wood.

The bang of something striking a wall, followed by a brief tremor shaking the wooden slats.

The crack of hoof and bone, impacting with horrific force and gruesome effect.

Applejack slowed her approach toward the barn entrance, unable to see what was happening inside. A cloud of dust and hay blasted out of the front of the building, followed by another shriek of agony.

She stopped and took a deep breath. "Havoc? What's goin' on in there?!" Applejack demanded.

For a moment, all was still and silent.

Then three unconscious bodies were flung out of the barn, one after another, landing in a heap on the path.

Fluttershy gasped and Rainbow Dash whistled. Applejack's eyes nearly popped out of her head. Pinkie Pie made an "Ooooooooh" noise, leaning way forward toward the pony pile.

"Those are... Luna's guard ponies, aren't they?" Rarity asked, her face darkening.

"Wh-What are they doing here?" Fluttershy asked, creeping closer behind Rarity and shrinking behind her.

"Getting their clocks cleaned, by the look of it," Rainbow mumbled.

Ranma stepped out of the barn entrance.

He walked over to the pile of hay bales, paying no particular attention to the mares watching him. He flipped a bale onto his back, turned around, and then marched back into the barn with his head down and his expression inscrutable.

After several seconds, Ranma emerged again without the hay bale, once again trudging past the pile of thestrals on the ground.

"Hey, ya wanna take five and explain what just happened?" Applejack growled.

Ranma stopped in his tracks, finally acknowledging the farmer. He frowned, stared down at the thestrals, scratched his head with a hoof, and then looked up again.

"Not really, no."

"Why're ya fightin' Lunar Guard in mah barn, Havoc?" Applejack demanded.

"Well what am I supposed to do when ninja ponies ambush me?" Ranma complained. "Look, I'm still doing my job, okay? I didn't break anything, and I'll have your hay moved in a little bit. Unless more of them show up, I guess." He paused to punch a hoof into a random hay bale, waited a few seconds for a reaction, and then nodded in satisfaction. Then he flipped it up onto his back.

"Aw, fer Sam Apple's sake," Applejack slumped onto her haunches, rubbing her forehead. "Ya just got here and already we have brawls breakin' out on mah property."

"Okay, but this doesn't count toward what you said earlier, right?" Rainbow Dash mused aloud. "You said you'd kick him out if 'beasties' started attacking, and I don't think batponies count."

This was enough to startle Ranma, and his current load slipped off of his back. "Wh-What? Kick me out?! But I didn’t start the fight! They attacked me out of nowhere!"

Applejack groaned into her hoof. "Yeah, Ah s'ppose they did. Not that it makes a lick 'o difference."

"Please don't kick me out! I already blew up Spark’s house the first time I was here and I don't want to bother Zee again!" Ranma begged, clapping his front hooves together. "I can't start bouncing from place to place already! I'll never be able to stay in Ponyville long enough to pay you back if I do!"

"Awww, poor thing!"

Ranma blinked, suddenly finding a teary-eyed mare nose-to-nose with him. Her fur, mane, and tail were all bubblegum pink, and she had somehow crossed the distance between them without his noticing.

"Don't worry! If you get chased out of Sweet Apple Acres then you can room with me!" Pinkie Pie suddenly lunged forward for a hug.

Ranma dodged backward, letting the mare bounce onto the pile of batponies. A pained squeak came from the thestrals, followed by quiet weeping.

"So... who are you, again?" Ranma took a few additional steps back from the extremely friendly pink pony.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" she hopped back upright, not obviously bothered by having her attempt at a hug evaded. She was also still standing on the battered Lunar Guard, but again, nopony seemed to care. "I'm so happy to meet you! We're gonna be best friends!"

"Oh. Uh, okay," Ranma cleared his throat and straightened. "My name is Saotome Ranma."

"Nope!" Pinkie chirped. "Your name is Havoc!"

"Dammit, Rainbow Dash!" Ranma complained, glaring at the pegasus above him.

She just laughed, flipping around and landing next to the martial artist before patting his withers with her wing. "What did I tell you, dude? It's the better name!" Then she brightened further. "And Trixie called you Calamity, right? That's your name for your pegasus form? That's even more awesome! You have a secret identity!"

Ranma groaned and looked away.

"Well, I for one think Saotome Ranma is a fine name." Rarity approached the stallion with an appraising look. "It's so... exotic. A remnant of a long-lost, faraway world. And perhaps the only scrap of it left, other than this so-called MacGuffin Stone."

Before Ranma could come up with a response to that, the unicorn inclined her head. "Ah, but I'm being rude. My name is Rarity. Please, if there's anything I can do to make your stay in Ponyville more comfortable, do let me know."

"Can I have some food, please?" he asked immediately.

"Hey, you'll get yer lunch break after yer chores're done," Applejack interjected.

Ranma's stomach lodged its objection in lieu of words, growling with such ferocity that Fluttershy jumped in fright. Pinkie and Rainbow snickered at the sound, while Rarity flushed and gasped.

"Oh dear, the poor stallion is famished!" she exclaimed. "Applejack, you simply must let us take him to lunch immediately! Between the fighting for his very life and the brute labor, he's likely to collapse!"

Applejack narrowed her eyes at Ranma. He blinked back innocently. His stomach rumbled again less loudly, like the weakened aftershock in the wake of an earthquake.

"Aww, do whatcha want," the farmer huffed, turning around and heading back to her crops. "Ah s'ppose that hay ain't goin' nowhere. Just be sure ya come back and get'r done, y'hear?"

"Yes, ma'am, Apple ma'am!" Ranma said, snapping one leg up in salute.

"Just follow me, darling," Rarity said, trotting in the direction of Ponyville. "We'll give you a welcoming feast fit for a Princess!"

"Uhm..." Fluttershy squirmed slightly, her eyes darting back to the batponies on the ground. "So... are we just... leaving the Lunar Guard here? Because... well..."

"Oh, right." Rarity paused. "Saotome Ranma, this is Fluttershy. She's a bit on the quiet side, you may have noticed." Then she started trotting out again.

"Yeah, I remember you. You're the dragon translator, right?" Ranma asked while walking past, causing Fluttershy to flinch back.

"Er, so, the uh... the batpo-"

"OOH! OOH! Let's eat at Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie Pie shouted, bouncing over Fluttershy.

"Pinkie, dear, I think doughnuts for lunch is a bit... unseemly."

"I don't think that at all," Ranma said, licking his lips.

"All right! Sugarcube Corner it is!" Rainbow Dash laughed, swooping over the other ponies.

Fluttershy sighed and sped up to follow the others.

"Sun and moon, a menagerie break-out and a dragon attack in the same day? Things are getting wild down South."

A unicorn guard sipped coffee on a bench while looking over the morning newspaper. A pair of earth ponies lounged across from him; one of them polishing his helmet while the other tried, and mostly failed, to pen a letter with a quill clenched between his teeth.

"What? Where was this?" asked the first stallion, putting down his helmet.

"Lancanter. Just out of Phillydelphia," the unicorn replied, pausing to sip more coffee.

"That's where that bandit clan collapsed just the other day, right? We had to transfer regional funds just so that they could pay out all the bounties! I've never seen anything like it!"

"It's close. Sure does seem like something's stirring up trouble in that area. Not that I'm going to complain about the bounty hunters earning their keep, for once. Celestia knows how many spend their careers chasing down alley thieves."

"Still bad for our budget, though."

A hoof knocked against the door.

The unicorn put his coffee down and slipped on his helmet. "Just a moment!"

With a pulse of magic, the long iron bar locking the reinforced front door slid out of place, and he pushed the door open.

The unicorn soldier stopped in front of the entrance, setting his spear butt-down on the floor next to him as he addressed their guest. "Welcome to Vanilla Peak outpost, citizen. Can I help you?"

Standing outside, at the end of the windy, rocky path that led up to the guard tower, was a single unicorn. He was wearing a voluminous cloak and hood, such that the soldier couldn't make much out as far as his features, but enough of the visitor's muzzle and legs were exposed that he could see it was a red-furred stallion.

"Thank goodness you're here. I have critical information for Canterlot," the visitor said. "I saw the rogue Havoc traveling with Twilight Sparkle outside of Lancanter. They're on their way to Canterlot!"

The guard blinked. "Uh... wh-what?"

In a flurry of magic, papers were levitated and unrolled in front of the soldier. "Listen to me! This is the rebel Havoc, a degenerate monster seeking to overthrow Princess Celestia!" One of the papers, a bounty poster with Ranma's image, bobbed up and down in the air. "My contact in Fillydelphia was tracking him down for bounty purposes. But after an incident outside of Lancanter, it seems he's heading toward the capital! He possesses a magic weapon and the means to use it, and he MUST be stopped!"

The other guards walked over to the entrance, confused and alarmed.

"Wait, hold on. You said Princess Twilight Sparkle was with this guy?" asked one of the earth ponies, frowning. "Are you trying to tell us that she's turned traitor?"

"Highly unlikely," the hooded stallion admitted. "I believe she's being coerced. Her magic may have been drained by the magic weapon, or perhaps Havoc is controlling or threatening her through other means. My contact was unable to get too close for fear of being discovered." His hoof pawed at the ground anxiously. "What I know is that he's on his way toward Ponyville, and eventually to Canterlot, and nopony else knows! If he isn't stopped before he reaches Canterlot, there's no telling what kind of damage he can do!"

The earth ponies shared pensive glance, and the unicorn soldier grimaced.

"I see. We'd better get a report ready, then. I'll need your name, as well as the name of your source. I have to verify this for command."

An impatient snort came from the visitor. "There's no time for that! We may have but hours to stop this madstallion! At least forward my warning to Canterlot so that they'll know he's coming!"

"I will, but it's going to take at least half a day by pegasus courier," the unicorn soldier said grimly. "So if our doom is as imminent as you say, there's nothing we can do about it all the way out here." He backed up a few steps, creating space for the hooded pony to enter. "I'll write up a dispatch and get it sent, and then we can work out the details and who this contact is. Is it someone in the Fillydelphia Bounty Hunter's guild?"

The other unicorn didn't enter. "You won't send it by air mail. In the basement of this outpost, there's a secret magic transmission system that can instantly wire documents to Canterlot's military command halls."

All of the soldiers seemed startled, and one of them glanced between his fellow guards. "Wait, really? We have that? I thought the basement was just used to store supplies and stuff."

The unicorn guard's expression hardened, and he shifted back to once again block entry into the outpost. "How do you know about that?! Who are you?!"

"I know about that because I helped design it," Blood Rite said, flipping back his hood behind his horn.

One of the guards' eyes bulged. "W-Wait! You're-"

"This could have gone so much easier..." Rite's horn pulsed, and every one of the soldiers felt a cold chill crawl up their legs.

The unicorn was the first to act, and the first to fall. His spear bobbed up into a stabbing position, and then a cloud of silvery light swept over the polearm. With a thought, the weapon snapped into three pieces, and all of them promptly shot toward its owner. The pieces of the wooden shaft bounced off the unicorn's armor, but the spearhead stabbed deeply into his shin. With a howl of pain, the stallion collapsed.

One of the earth ponies tried to charge as his companion fell, but a bolt of searing red lashed out from Rite's horn the instant he crossed the threshold. His spear bounced across the ground at the sorcerer's hooves, and the second guard collapsed in a gasping heap.

"There's no need for any of you to die here," Blood Rite said calmly, stepping past the twitching stallions toward the third one. That pony started backing up nervously, and his spear clattered onto the flagstones uselessly. "I merely have need of the construct I made so many years ago... then I'll take my leave."

The unicorn guard stood up, wincing at the pain and sweating profusely. "Soldier! Don't give up! We can-" a buck to his jaw slammed his head into the wall. His helmet popped off and bounced out the doorway, and then he slumped back onto the floor.

"Tch... useless." Rite cast a contemptuous glance behind him at the unconscious stallion. "Not that I ever took particular pride in Equestria's military or cared for its efficacy, but it's yet another institution rotting under Celestia's hapless rule."

The unharmed guard edged away toward the stairs that led up to the scout tower roof. His eyes were wide and he was sweating nervously, but he hadn't said anything yet and seemed to be clearing the way between Rite and the basement door.

Blood Rite considered the pony at length, and then made a judgment call. "Sorry. I can't afford to let you escape just yet."

His horn flashed, and a magic missile slammed into the final guard and threw him hard against the wall. The stallion promptly burst into green flame, which caused Rite to recoil and whinny in shock. A moment later, a changeling drone slumped to the floor, its eyes spinning.

"A changeling? That... That was a spy?"

Rite stared at the creature, dumbfounded. He'd heard of the changelings and their infiltration of Equestria, of course, as well as their brief attempt at conquest. But beyond that, they were merely one of several species and factions that lived at the margins of Equestrian civilization, siphoning off what prosperity they could from its porous borders and welcoming civil society. Having discovered one in hiding, he wasn't sure what to do about it. It wasn't as if he could turn it in to the guards.

"Well... I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to complain about you undermining the Equestrian state, but I am a pony first and revolutionary second," Rite declared, his horn lighting up again. "Whatever you were up to, equine-kind will be better off without-"

A clunking noise interrupted his monologue, and heavy wooden hatch leading to the basement cracked open.

"Hey, what was that noise?" A unicorn mare wearing a cloak poked her head up out of the stairwell leading down.

Her eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she saw an unfamiliar stallion whirling toward her, and she didn't get to see much else. Rite's telekinesis took hold of the entry hatch and slammed it down, striking her on the head. With a squeak of pain the mare tumbled back down the stairs and out of sight, screaming the entire way.

Biting back a curse, Rite flung the hatch open again and raced into the basement, hoping he hadn't just inadvertently broken the mare's neck. Not that he would be devastated by the death of an Equestrian soldier at his hooves, precisely, but the outpost's mage was rather crucial to his plans.

He found her groaning and trying to push herself up at the bottom of the steps amid a worrying - but thankfully thin - splash of blood across the floor. A pulse of magic from his horn promptly pressed her down firmly onto the floor again, and another sent the combat wand at her hip spinning away behind a stack of crates.

"Now, now, don't aggravate your injuries, dear. You likely have a slight concussion at least, and I need you awake for this next part," the sorcerer chided.

"Y... You... What do you..." she hissed painfully, curling up as best she could under the pressure of his telekinesis. Her vision was spinning, and one of her legs ached badly from her fall.

"Ssssh. This won't take long." Rite looked around the basement store room. A small, crowded space, full of supply crates and what passed for this mare's study: a writing desk and a small bookcase.

He raised an eyebrow at the bookcase, and walked past the mare to observe it. "You still keep the transmitters in hidden rooms? When Firebrand recommended such extensive security I thought it was mostly a waste of effort and resources." He chuckled. "It looks like Firebrand was right. But he didn't go far enough. He never does."

His horn flashed on and off, like a flickering lighting bulb. One book after another tilted back all across the top row, each one pushing back into its resting position with on an arc of white light. Then his magic crossed the second row in the same fashion, pulling every book at the top of its spine before pushing it back into place.

It was on the third row that a particular book offered a little more resistance, and when he pulled it back it settled into place with a click. A creak came from a hidden mechanism, and the entire bookcase started sliding across the floor to expose a hidden doorway.

His telekinesis wrapped around the mare on the ground to lift her up, and she yelped in pain at the pressure on her legs. "Pardon me, Miss. I'd prefer to be gentler, but I'm quite pressed for time. Enter the transmission room."

"Wh-What are you d-doing?" she gasped, limping into the next room under the pressure of the telekinetic force shoving her forward. "Why are y-you here?"

"I'm here to send a warning, obviously. Your friends upstairs were being difficult about it, but YOU'LL cooperate, won't you?" Rite sent an extra surge of energy into his telekinesis, shoving the mage forward onto the floor in the middle of the room.

The transmission altar was small, with a large stone slab centered in front of a runic obelisk just about the size of a pony's head. To the side was a desk, outfitted with vials of magic ink and vellum. All of these components were required in order to use the altar, and the mare at Rite's hooves was the only one in the outpost that knew the magic encryption to activate it. Anypony less knowledgeable about the process than he was would likely screw it up and obliviously watch their message disintegrate into nothing rather than being teleported to Equestria's highest command.

"That scaly lug had better keep up his end of the bargain after all this," Rite grunted, levitating a quill into the ink vial and unrolling some paper. "So much strife just to spare him some well-earned embarrassment."

He began to write, and then sensed a flicker of magic energy manifesting behind him. "Don't make me restrain you, please. This whole affair has been trying enough as it is."

The magic intensified rather than diminishing, and Rite grunted in exasperation. He turned and zapped the mare with a red beam, eliciting another pained scream and causing her magic spell to fizzle. The mage writhed on the floor in agony, kicking her legs and twitching.

"Such an ugly business, the Royal Guard," Rite mused aloud while he continued composing his missive. "You all suffer so much needless pain. So many pointless risks. And for what? What do you hope to preserve? Why do you sacrifice so much for your useless masters in Canterlot? Is it just what your cutie marks demand? Is this simply another asinine facet of our tortured destiny?"

The mare on the ground grit her teeth as the fire racing through her nerves began to ebb. "To stop... m-monsters... like you..."

Rite paused briefly in his writing. "... I'd like to say I'm not the monster in this story. That it will all be okay. That I'll deliver you peace in the end, or perhaps even paradise." He snorted, and then finished his letter with a jab of the quill. "But how hollow and absurd would that sound to you? Attacked out of nowhere for reasons unknown, hurled down a flight of stairs and then tormented into pacification at my whim... I won't insult you with claims of benevolence, young mage."

He floated the message onto the altar, and a few runes of the obelisk glittered slightly. "Perhaps this has already gone too far. Perhaps my sense of reason has already been consumed by my quest. Perhaps I am the monster after all."

Then he turned his gaze to the mare behind him, his horn and eyes shining brightly with power. "But I will NOT be stopped, little one. Not by hapless pawns like you. Now get up."

His levitation magic helped her to her hooves, and then shoved her toward the altar.

"Cast the spell. Send the message. And don't get it wrong. I'll know if the transmission was completed or not," Rite commanded.

The unicorn mare stared at him for a few seconds before her eyes wavered and she hung her head. Her horn began to glow a crackling, dark pink, and the mage mumbled a few words that made no sense to Blood Rite.

The obelisk glowed in sympathy, and its magic aura expanded to cover the entire altar. A few seconds later, arcs of power lashed across the rolled-up paper, and it vanished in a puff of smoke.

The mare cut off the magic to her horn, still hanging her head. A lone tear ran down her cheek, and then dripped onto the floor. "There... it's sent. I did as you asked."

Rite stared at the altar for a long moment, and then turned his icy gaze on the other unicorn. "I suppose you hoped I was bluffing about being able to tell whether the transmission worked or not. You just vaporized my message."

The mare's heart seized up, and she lurched away from Blood Rite with her eyes wide.

"The tear was a nice touch. But I'm afraid my time is more precious than your safety. And you've cost me too much of it..." Rite's horn started glowing again, the soft white aura flickering with sparks of glimmering crimson. "This next spell will search your memories directly and pick them apart in search of the information I need. The process is painful. Exceptionally so. Now... let's begin."

His magic slithered around her horn like an entangling whip, and she screamed in pain and terror.

She didn't stop for quite a while.

Rite emerged from the basement of the outpost almost half an hour later. His breathing was heavy, and sweat rolled steadily down his head. His task was complete. The message had been sent, and the altar destroyed to prevent any other messages leaving or arriving any time soon. His plans were set in motion once more and things were developing more or less as hoped. And frankly, he wanted to throw up.

The image of the unicorn mare writhing on the floor flashed before his eyes and her screams echoed in her ears, burned into his thoughts alongside the spell pattern he had sought. She had fallen comatose several minutes ago, but was still alive. The mage would probably even make a full recovery, so long as that concussion was treated properly. Her unwilling betrayal of her duties, meanwhile, would come to serve a greater, more worthy cause than her tiresome vigil and ineffective service to Canterlot's throne.

Such were the moral platitudes that Blood Rite whispered to himself as he departed his crime scene. The same as he had done a dozen times before.

They weren't working anymore.

He started trotting toward the exit, taking note of the other ponies he had pushed aside to accomplish this latest task. Unicorn Sergeant and Watchmaster, check. Earth pony rookie, check. Changeling... changeling? Right. There had been a changeling.

Rite honestly felt embarrassed that he had completely forgotten about having uncovered an enemy shape-shifter by accident. It was largely irrelevant to his plans, and he supposed he couldn't have just left the mage to her own devices while he took care of the spy, but even so it was quite a shocking development for him to have discarded.

More importantly, the changeling wasn't here anymore. Alone among his victims, it seems to have already fled.

"Well, that one will have quite a story to tell its queen, I suppose," Blood Rite mumbled with a grimace. "But enough of this. I still have more work to do."

He sighed wearily as he stepped out of the outpost and onto the path winding down the mountain. "Always, more work to do. But I can't stop now. I can never stop. Not until it's all over..."

"The hay is this? Havoc, in Ponyville? With Princess Sparkle?!"

General Wrath held a smoldering sheet of parchment in her wing, her jaw hanging open. Several pony captains were huddled behind her, and at the other end of a map table sat General Granite with his brow furrowed deeply.

"This is insane! It says they have verified information that suggests he's coercing Princess Sparkle into helping him get into Canterlot! He's planning to attack Princess Celestia!" Wrath said breathlessly, her eyes narrowing with each line.

"Princess Sparkle's been captured? Again?" mumbled one of the captains. "Is this just a Princess thing? I don't remember her having these problems as a unicorn."

"Shut it, soldier!" Granite barked. The lesser officers flinched, reflexively straightening and falling silent. "Wrath, you said this information is verified? By whom?"

"Doesn't say," the pegasus growled, slapping the missive onto the table with her wing. "It's not signed by the outpost head officer, either. That's a breach of security protocol."

"True. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. The instant-dispatch system isn't used very often. They may have forgotten in their haste. Or it might be a subordinate that sent it because the officer wasn't available and the information couldn't wait. You remember the Siren Swamps incident; in an emergency ponies panic and procedure gets swept aside." Granite's expression hardened. "This information seems... odd, but if there's even a scrap of truth to it, it's CRITICAL. These rebels are on our doorstep and we didn't even notice. We must respond."

"First things first; every access point to Canterlot needs to have its guard tripled. All entrants are subject to magic and mundane screening. I don't care if they enter the city riding on a Princess's back; they get checked twice before they even get a glimpse of the castle." Wrath announced, pointing a long feather of one wing at the captains like a finger. "I want quick-response teams ready and on a razor's edge. If this lunatic reaches Canterlot, we'll probably only have one chance to put him down before the Princesses get involved."

"That's good defense," Granite said approvingly. "Now... as for offense..."

Here General Wrath hesitated, looking down at the message. "I want more information. Something about this message... it's off. It feels wrong."

"You think the transmission system was compromised?" the earth pony asked with an eyebrow arched.

"... No. Although I really wish Firebrand were back from medical leave so that I could question him on the topic," Wrath admitted. "But there are other ways to spread disinformation. I just don't want to march an army to Ponyville without making sure this thug is actually there."

"Hey, uh, speaking of 'this thug'..." one of the captains interjected, hesitantly raising a wing into the air.

The generals glanced at him silently, allowing him to continue.

"... Is 'this thug' Havoc, the pony who joined up with a bunch of rebels to try to assassinate the Princesses? Or is he Ranma Saotome, the pony who looks exactly like him and is apparently worth a bigger bounty for some reason but only has like half as many crimes attributed to him and they're mostly arson?"

Neither of the generals responded, staring at the captain with blank expressions.

"Okay, so... lemme explain. This guy Havoc, he has literally the biggest bounty on our contract board, so a bunch of us are tracking his price, right?" the captain continued nervously.

"There's an office pool if you guys want to get in on it! I'm betting he hits 500k before he gets nabbed," another soldier volunteered needlessly.

"ANYWAY, so we're all snatching up the latest bounty posters for this guy, and this poster they released the other day suddenly features the same stallion, but with a different name," the first captain explained. "Also, this new guy, or the old guy with a new name, or whatever, has all the treasony rebellion stuff scrubbed from his list of crimes, but somehow got the same Equestrian-Enemy-Number-One-level bounty without any Equestrian-Enemy-Number-One-level charges. And it's not like the bounty office discloses the particular reason for these changes with every new posting, so... yeah. Little confused, here."

Granite and Wrath shared an inscrutable glance. Neither of them had kept up-to-date on the rebels' bounties beyond making sure that they hadn't been caught yet. They didn't know what to make of this new information, much less have any particular insight on the matter.

"Well, judging from our warning letter, this is definitely more of a treasonous Havoc pony than a miscreant Ranma pony," Granite reasoned. "Also, incidentally, I like the name Havoc much better as a name for a violent fugitive from justice. I definitely prefer approaching this from the Havoc angle."

"Names aside, I still don't trust the letter," Wrath said firmly. "I think something else is going on here, and the nebulous nature of this pony's criminal record isn't helping things. I'm going to prepare a response for the Vanilla Peak outpost to confirm their findings." She turned around fully to address the captains. "In the meantime, dispatch a scout team to Ponyville immediately. Assuming they don't find themselves flying into a storm of bedlam and carnage, they should ask around a little and try to get confirmation of Havoc's presence."

"So we're definitely going with Havoc, then?" the captain asked.

"They can ask about his name too, if they wish," Wrath drawled. "Advise the team to survey Twilight Sparkle's home for any signs of this crook, but they should not attempt to contact her directly. If she is compromised, this would put her and the team in unnecessary danger."

The pegasus captain saluted with a wing and promptly galloped out of the hall.

Another captain stepped forward as soon as the first was gone. "How should we brief Princess Celestia on this matter, General?"

"NOT AT ALL," the two generals said simultaneously. The lesser officers flinched under their hard stares.

"If this fool really is the rebel scoundrel we think he is, then Rite can't be far behind," Granite hissed. "NONE of this is to reach Princess Celestia's ears. If any of you are questioned about the increase in security, say only that we received a tip about a likely attack and that we're investigating."

The captains looked uncertain.

"I realize it is highly unusual, but we have good reasons to believe that this criminal is a unique threat to the Princesses. The more involved they become, the greater the risk," Wrath said coolly. "Now, go. You have your orders."

"Sir!" the soldiers barked, bowing their heads.

"So then it turns out that this Morning Star pony is a chick! I had no idea! But okay, whatever; girl or not, she's still an evil bandit, right? But then she starts hitting on me! Right there in the bandit lair, as I was getting ready to fight her! It was so weird! She seriously offered to pay to get Trix to leave so that she and I could just drop everything and make out. Ugh."

Ranma recounted his harrowing tale of heroics from behind a massive pile of doughnuts, all the while working diligently on making it less massive. Rarity and Fluttershy seemed somewhat unimpressed, or at least skeptical, of his tales of violence and seduction, but they seemed perfectly stunned at his ability to shovel sweets down his throat while he told them.

"Was she pretty cute?" Rainbow Dash asked, munching on a doughnut herself.

"She was... fine, I guess? I dunno. I'm not attracted to ponies," Ranma replied, pausing ever-so-briefly in eating to gulp down some milk.

"Aw, don't be like that! I'm sure you just haven't met the right pony yet!" Pinkie Pie said with a wink and a hug.

Or at least, an attempt at a hug. Ranma threw his chair back onto the floor to evade, tripping up the pink mare and letting her land on his other side. Then he kicked his chair back up and went back to eating.

"Seriously though: I'm a human. I'm just not into horses," Ranma affirmed with a slight flush.

"Well, regardless of your species preference, you do cut a rather dashing figure if I do say so myself," Rarity admitted from the other side of the table. "Surprisingly so, if you always eat like this... When was the last time you had an actual meal, Ranma darling?"

Ranma couldn't help but squirm at the form of address, memories of a crazed, rose-obsessed gymnast coming unbidden to his mind. "Erm... like, a meal this big? That would be before I had to fight the crocodile made of rocks. I was going to eat after that, but then the stupid dragon jackass found me."

In an instant his mood darkened visibly; his posture slumped in his seat, his hair covered his eyes, and even his pigtail seemed to go limp. Ranma didn't stop eating, though.

"Beating up dragons is hungry work," Rainbow Dash agreed solemnly, nodding and snatching up another doughnut. "Speaking of which, how do you make your tornadoes? Because I've seen you do that twice now, and it looks like you make them by punching fireballs, and I wanted to clear up how this works because if I try that and I'm wrong I don't think I'll get to try again."

"Ancient Chinese secret," Ranma mumbled before guzzling down more milk. "Don't try it at home."

"Ooh! You've been to Chineigh?" Pinkie asked brightly, popping up next to Rarity.

"I've been to CHINA," Ranma corrected. "It's a country in my world full of magic, warriors, and most of my life's regrets."

"Tell us more about this world of yours," Rarity said, leaning forward with her chin propped up on her forelegs. "What is your home planet like?"

"It's..." Ranma grimaced, pausing in his doughnut consumption. "It's a lot like this one, I guess. Earth has forests, and villages, and farms, and cities. We even have dragons and monsters." He leaned back in his seat and wiped the crumbs from his muzzle. "But instead of everything being run by ponies with magic, it's run by humans with technology."

"Do humans not have magic?" Rarity pressed.

"We... might? I dunno. I ran into plenty of magic on Earth, but all of it sucked," the martial artist groused. "Here in Equestria, magic... well, it still sucks for me, but all of you guys seem to do fine."

"Hey! Speaking of magic!" Rainbow suddenly stood up excitedly, grinning at Ranma. "Let's show them your mare body!"

A sweatdrop rolled down Ranma's head. "Could we not? I'd really like to just fill up and go back to work."

"Unacceptable," Rarity said firmly, her eyes gleaming despite her utterly serious expression. "We definitely need to confirm that personally."

Before Ranma could protest further, a glass of cold water was dumped over his head from behind. She yelped and jumped in her seat, and then spun around to find Pinkie Pie staring at her with wide, starry eyes.

"HOW do you keep doing that?" Ranma asked, unnerved. It wasn't quite accurate to say that the pink mare kept sneaking up on her, but rather that she kept losing track of Pinkie's movements inexplicably. She’d never seen anything like it. And technically she still hadn’t, since she couldn’t seem to catch Pinkie in the middle of whatever she did.

Nopony seemed interested in Ranma’s question, though. Before she knew it Rarity was at her side, a hoof gently grazing her wing and an expression of exaggerated horror on the unicorn’s face. Pinkie Pie was making "ooh" noises and circling her at high speed, and even Fluttershy was leaning in slightly to get a better look, utterly fascinated.

"Oh, no, no, no! This simply won't do!" Rarity gasped. "Ranma, darling, your wings are a MESS! Honestly, even Rainbow Dash keeps hers in better condition!"

"Heh. Yeah, that's true," Rainbow chuckled. Then she frowned. "Hey."

"I get that a lot," Ranma grumbled, tossing another doughnut into her mouth. "I'm not really up to speed on wing care. I don't need to be, either, since I just have to dunk my head in hot water to get rid of them."

Rarity's expression hardened. "Believe me, darling, the neglect shows. Your coat is FAR too lovely to be treated like this. We need a spa treatment, stat!"

"Pass," Ranma grunted before gulping down the last of her milk.

"Hey, don't knock it before you try it," Rainbow Dash interjected, surprising everypony else. "The hooficure treatment is a bit much, but good feather grooming goes a long way. I go every once in a while and it's really helped my air speed."

Ranma hesitated at the mention of "air speed," and her ears perked. This was more than enough of a signal for Rarity to take as complete agreement.

"It's agreed, then! I'll make an appointment for tomorrow! On me, of course!" Rarity clapped her hooves together, smiling brightly.

"Yay! Can I come? I wanna come!" Pinkie Pie said eagerly, bouncing up and down next to her.

"Of course, darling! We should all make a day out of it," the snow-white unicorn said with a grin.

Ranma didn't respond right away, staring expressionlessly at the last few doughnuts on the bed of crumbs and sugar on the table in front of her.

"I'll... think about it," she mumbled, dropping down from her chair. "Thanks a lot for the food, but I've really gotta go back to work."

"Okaaaaay!" Pinkie Pie called out while Ranma walked off. "It was super-duper nice to meet you, Calamity! I can't wait to see you again tomorrow, okay?"

Pinkie darted forward to hug Ranma goodbye. Ranma back-flipped over her lunge, and Pinkie skidded to a stop before spinning around. The two mares circled each other briefly, eyeing each other for weaknesses, and then Pinkie Pie blasted forward again.

The other ponies in the bakery watched the affair in befuddled silence. Ranma ducked, weaved, and jumped while Pinkie tried to hug her, all without saying a word. Every dodge brought her closer to the exit, until Pinkie feinted a lunge and hopped into the doorway to block the martial artist's path instead. Ranma veered away and jumped up to a window, threw it open, and then escaped that way rather than opting to go through her.

"Goodbyyyyyye!" Pinkie Pie chirped, waving to the departing pegasus.

"Pinkie... why do you keep trying to, uhm, grab her like that?" Fluttershy asked, her brow creasing. "I don't think she likes it."

"For the love of the game, Fluttershy," Pinkie said with a calculating grin, tapping the tips of her hooves together. "Love. Of. The. Game."

Twilight Sparkle awoke with a kick and a snort.

Her eyes fluttered open, and her wings twitched and resettled. She was in her bed, at home, in her freshly-rebuilt library. Her sheets were underneath her, as if she simply jumped into bed and instantly fell asleep.

"... Spike?!" she shouted, rubbing her bleary eyes. "Spike! Are you here?!"

After a few seconds, the bedroom door creaked open. Spike leaned his head in, regarding Twilight with a concerned expression.

"Twi? You okay? As soon as we got home you stumbled into your bedroom and collapsed," Spike said. "Was it that hard for you to sleep on the train? I don't remember you having trouble with that before."

Twilight didn't answer, her eyes narrowing. Then she shook her head violently, further fraying her bed mane.

"Where's Ranma?" the purple Princess asked, standing up. "I've lost enough time already. We have a lot of Friendship to get to."

"He's staying with Applejack, remember? Since most of the stuff we gave Trixie was hers, he's working it off."

Twilight frowned. "Yes, right... I didn't think about it before, but that's... less than ideal. It's going to be harder to spend time with him in-between farm chores. Hmmm..." She rubbed a hoof against her chin. "Maybe once he's done enough to pay her back, he could stay with us instea-"

Twilight stopped mid-sentence, her cheeks burning. Suddenly she envisioned herself curled up in her bed, spooning with the pigtailed stallion and snuggling into his chest.

Spike waited several seconds into the sudden silence, his eyebrow slowly rising. "Uh... yeah? You want him to stay here?"

Twilight recoiled, sputtering incoherently and looking scandalized.

"I d-didn't mean it like that!" she protested in a panic. "Just here in the library! N-Not here in m-my room! That would be weird! We barely qualify as friends yet! I'm not ready!"

"... What?" Spike asked, tilting his head to the side. "Twi, do you need to rest some more? You look like you're hyperventilating."

The alicorn sat down and slapped her hooves lightly against her cheeks repeatedly. "I'm... fine. Yes. This is okay. Everything is... good!" She offered Spike a ridiculously forced smile. "I need to talk to Ranma, though. For friendly, completely platonic reasons involving no physical contact."

"Oh... kay..." Spike moved out of the doorway so Twilight could trot through. "Are you sure? Because it's his first day in actual pony civilization and you seem a little out of it. I think you could wait a day if you're feeling rattled."

Twilight's stride became ever more determined as she approached the front door. "No, I need to start now." She pulled open the front door with her telekinesis. "The sooner we can get Ranma to Princess Celestia, the better. Putting aside his own timetable, the longer we keep him here the greater the chance of some disaster happening due to his presence. It would be a big problem if the Royal Guard found him, certainly, so we should hurry."

A thumping noise came from above, on the roof. Twilight paused, and then glanced up. She couldn't see anything unusual, but she could faintly make out the sound of pegasus wings.

Had a pony been resting on her roof? That seemed odd, but wasn't a problem. She hoped she hadn't startled whoever it was.

"Anyway, it's almost evening already. You can get started on dinner, but I don't know how long this will take. I'll see you later, Spike!"

"See ya, Twi!"

"Yes, that's what I said! Princess Sparkle has DEFINITELY been compromised! She's in on the plan! They're coming for Celestia!"

General Wrath and General Granite stared at the magical projection, their jaws agape. A unicorn soldier stood in front of them, her eyes squeezed shut in concentration and her horn pulsing to maintain the magical link. Below her was a hazy magical projection of a panicked-looking pegasus.

"I heard her say herself that she needed to get Ranma to Princess Celestia as soon as possible, and that it would be a problem for her if we found out about it! We have to stop them!"

"That... sounds pretty bad," Granite said grimly. "Did you confirm the target's presence?"

Another pegasus shifted into the image focus, briefly saluting with a wing. "Sir! We did indeed! First we contacted a citizen who was able to confirm the presence of the rebel Havoc! She described him perfectly to us with minimal prompting, and was able to provide further information as to his current location, known associates, recent activity, and favorite type of doughnut, Sir!"

Wrath raised an eyebrow. "So is this pony named Havoc or is he named Ranma?"

"Ah... actually, she called him Calamity, for some reason."

"You're kidding me. Another alias?!"

"Yes, well... after that, we met a Lunar Guard Sergeant at our rendezvous point!" the pegasus exclaimed. "He was one of the members of a reconnaissance task force, and the rebel ambushed them! Wiped out the entire squad! He said they never stood a chance!"

"Ambushed the Lunar Guard? Really?" Wrath asked, frowning. The batponies were well-known as the best stealth operatives in the kingdom.

"That's what he told us, General, and he had the bone fractures to prove it! He left before giving additional details - like, say, the target's name - but between our findings, whoever we're looking for is definitely here!" A pause. "Also, this may come across as an odd request, but if we're to launch an assault operation into Ponyville I would greatly prefer it to happen before or after 4 to 7 PM tomorrow afternoon, as that's when our civilian contact is throwing me and Sky Ranger a welcome party, apparently."

"That won't be a problem," Wrath said darkly. "We'll be moving out immediately. Thank you for your report. Remain at the rendezvous point until reinforcements arrive."

The pegasi on the other end of the projection saluted again with their wings, and then the image dissipated.

"... Twilight Sparkle. Working with the rebels. I can't believe it," Granite breathed. "Firebrand was right."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We don't know what happened. She could be under a spell or something, or perhaps she's being tricked," Wrath pointed out. "If she really has gone rogue, then we'll have the opportunity to stop her in her tracks as well... but I dearly hope that's not the case."

Granite sighed, and his ears pinned back. "If she has, Princess Celestia will be devastated. BOTH of the Princesses. ALL of them! Egads, Princess Cadance is her blasted sister-in-law, too!"

"By the sun, this is a disaster," Wrath groaned. "Even if we achieve a crushing victory, we could STILL end up with the royal order pruned. I keep telling the assembly, this is why we need nepotism laws!"

"Not the time, Wrath. We have planning to do," Granite set his jaw. "Lightly populated rural area, single target, weather team has medium cloud cover set. Low chance of enemy reinforcements, but multiple exfiltration vectors. We can't get cocky because this is one pony, unless we want to join Firebrand in the Fillypinnes on recovery leave."

"Encirclement followed by magic stunner web," Wrath shrugged. "I'll have the aerial battalion form an interception ring in case he tries to sprout wings and fly away. If Princess Sparkle stands with him, we can take her down in the same move. Strong, safe, fast."

Then a cough interrupted their strategizing.

"So... you're trying to capture Ranma Saotome-slash-Havoc with magic?" asked the unicorn who had been serving as their communications link. "You probably don't want to do that."

"And why not?" Granite asked, arching an eyebrow. "Is there something else you all know about this ruffian that we don't? Does he have an anti-magic field?"

"Well... not precisely, but..." the unicorn trailed off for a moment. ”… The new bounty poster specifically says 'magic cannot be reliably used against him' in advising the capture."

"What? Why?" Wrath demanded.

The mage shrugged. "It doesn't say. I've read a few news articles on this guy, and he's supposed to have a bunch of nutty powers, but nothing explains exactly what happens to him if you use magic. But it seemed pretty important if you're counting on a spell to stun him."

"This stallion supposedly fought Princess Luna to a standstill through raw speed and strength alone, and we're supposed to take him down without magic?" Wrath asked incredulously.

"If it's a matter of strength and speed, then we have sufficient force," Granite retorted. "Such a battle won't be as... clean, of course. We may not be able to take him alive. But victory is still all but certain." He grimaced. "We'll keep the mages in the rear ranks as back-up. Hopefully their spells will have SOME effect if Havoc manages to break the front line."

Then he looked up at Wrath. "I'll take to the field as well. You should stay here."

She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because there's still a possibility this is a ruse to draw soldiers out of Canterlot and expose the Princesses. One of us should stay. You have the better nose for spies, while I have a better record for avoiding widespread collateral damage. This IS an Equestrian village we're talking about, not some lonely wizard tower in the middle of nowhere."

Wrath pouted. "Tch. You're always using that excuse to leave me behind!"

"Well, you're always setting roofs on fire, so it keeps coming up," Granite drawled. "Shore up our defenses and remain vigilant, Wrath. Whether we crush this lackey or not, we haven't reached the final hour yet. Blood Rite is out there, and he MUST be stopped."

"Of course, General Granite." The pegasus General stood up straighter and saluted her peer. "Blessings of the sun be upon you."

Finding Ranma had taken longer than Twilight expected.

Not because he was hiding or in some place where he wasn't supposed to be, but simply because he was working so far from the farmhouse. Twilight had initially scouted the orchard from above, only to fail to find the cursed stallion. Puzzled, she had questioned Applejack, and learned that Ranma had already had an altercation in Ponyville and a big lunch with the other Elements of Harmony. In consideration of the former, and perhaps also the latter - Applejack didn't appreciate procrastination when it came to farm chores - his second job after moving hay bales was chopping firewood at a faraway site at the edge of the orchard. The simple logic being that if Ranma was going to get into fights, the best place to do it was far away from the farm and surrounded by the least valuable resources the Apple family possessed. Twilight was honestly relieved Applejack hadn't ordered him to sleep out there, too.

Twilight spotted the martial artist in a clearing surrounded by piles of chopped and sawed wood logs. Some of it was chopped into quarters for firewood, while the rest was in bisected logs awaiting being chopped into firewood. Ranma was standing before a large tree trunk that had been cut close to the ground, facilitating the conversion from the latter into the former.

A wood axe was lodged firmly in a second, smaller tree trunk off to the side, and clearly hadn't been budged from the spot in months. Ranma certainly hadn't contemplated using it. He stood a log onto the chopping block and then stared at it briefly, his expression the very image of steely concentration. Then he let out a shout and struck the log. It broke apart into quarters, and each piece bounced away over the tree trunk and rolled into the surrounding piles of ready firewood.

"Hey, Sparks."

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat, and she landed next to the firewood pile. "Ranma! Hi! Keeping busy, I see! Applejack isn't working you too hard?"

"Nah." Ranma put another log into place, stared at it, and then slammed a hoof into the top. It split apart as before, the pieces bouncing away to join the others. Then his eyes darted over to Twilight. "Did you want something?"

"I just wanted to talk!" Twilight said in what she hoped was a cheery, carefree tone. "We have so much to discuss, but you spent most of the train ride alone!"

Ranma frowned, rubbing a hoof against his neck. "This is about the MacGuffin Stone, isn't it?"

Twilight's smile, already looking rather forced and awkward, dimmed somewhat. "Well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't important. But that's not ALL I want to talk about..."

Ranma turned away for a moment, and then turned back and tossed something. It landed on the ground in front of Twilight, and she recoiled in surprise and just a little bit of genuine fright. After all, the last time this artifact had been flung at her it had instantly sealed her defeat in a critical battle.

The MacGuffin Stone gleamed up at her. Uninhabited, the gemstone wasn't obviously different from any other jewel. Twilight couldn't even sense much ambient magic around it. Such an unassuming thing, and yet...

The alicorn looked up at Ranma in shock, the question written all over her face.

"I'm not giving that to you or anything, but if you want to look it over and poke at it a little, go right ahead." Ranma placed another log on the stump. "Trix swiped some notes from Rite that let her figure out how to capture people inside and shoot them back out. She didn't manage to do much more than that, though. I kind of got the sense that she's scared of really powerful magic items."

"That... would make sense," Twilight said absently, walking up to the artifact. She was expecting Ranma to be more protective of the Stone, and now her mind was awhirl with possibilities. "Can... Can I take this back to my lab at home?"

"No," Ranma said, splitting the next log. Twilight's ears pinned back in disappointment, but the martial artist was adamant. "Sorry Sparks, but I'm not letting that thing out of my sight again. I just know that the moment I do, Rite is going to swoop in and blast whoever I gave it to." He turned to get another log. "I don't want that to happen to you because he could hurt you. I don't want that to happen to Princess Celestasia because then Rite will have the MacGuffin and I'll have to steal it back. Again."

Twilight frowned. "It's Princess Celestia."

"Yeah. Her." Ranma split the next log.

Twilight levitated the MacGuffin Stone next to her, but her focus remained on the pigtailed stallion. "Do you... have a problem with Celestia? Did she do something to offend you when you met her outside Coltson?"

Ranma paused, holding the next log between his hooves. The martial artist grimaced. "Not back then, no."

"Then what's your problem with her?" Twilight pressed. "Princess Celestia has watched over and protected Equestria for millennia. But more than just being our leader, she is my teacher. I consider her family. That doesn't mean you have to like her, obviously, but I will defend her."

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "You don't really think she moves the sun, do you?"

"What? Why wouldn't I?" Twilight asked, somewhat stunned. "How else would it move?"

Ranma sighed as he dropped the log in place. "Okay, look; maybe you're right. I don't know this Princess or what she has to go through to keep the kingdom together. Maybe she really can't do anything about the corrupt mayors and the bandit gangs. Maybe all this business about the bounties was a genuine mistake and she made the best decision with what she knew. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, space around this wacky planet doesn't work like it does on Earth, like the clouds, and she really does magically... lift the sun or whatever. All of that could be true."

His hoof slammed into the firewood log like a thunderbolt, and Twilight flinched in surprise. Rather than being split into quarters, this time the log was reduced to splinters and irregular wood chunks all around the chopping block.

Ranma's eyes burned as he stared hard at Twilight. "BUT... she still sent that jackass dragon after me to get the MacGuffin, which led to Kamikazan burning down Trixie's wagon. So that would be what she did to offend me."

"She... you... WHAT?!" Twilight almost stumbled in shock. "She sent Kamikazan? That's ridiculous! What even makes you think that?!"

"Because he told me." Ranma looked down at the stump with mild regret for having destroyed good firewood, and then placed another log. "Before he torched the wagon and forced me to kick his ass, Kamikazan said that he needed the MacGuffin Stone because Celestia wanted it."

"Th-That... That doesn't mean she sent him after you!" Twilight protested. "He might have figured out that she wanted the MacGuffin and set out to get it on his own!"

"Yeah, I guess..." Ranma paused. "But Kamikazan knew that I had the Stone. He never touched the thing before, so it's not like he used the MacGuffin Sense to find me. Who else would have told him?"

"How do you know he's never touched it before?" Twilight demanded.

"Because I was wearing the thing out in the open the whole time while he was demanding I tell him where it was."

Twilight's cheeks puffed up angrily, but she didn't have an immediate response to that. Her wings ruffled and the MacGuffin Stone spun around in the air, as if Twilight was preparing to fling it away in a huff.

"Well... maybe he was lying! Why should we trust that self-absorbed marauder to give away his real intentions?!"

Ranma paused to think again. "I dunno, he seemed pretty honest to me. Dumb, evil, and vicious too, but still honest." He chopped the next wooden log. "Anyway, I'm not telling you that your Princess is some kind of evil mastermind trying to make my life harder or something. But from what I've heard and seen, she's not the kind of pony I trust with a world-destroying magic gem."

Ranma fell silent and went back to chopping wood. Twilight remained equally silent, quietly fuming and staring at the MacGuffin Stone.

It can't be true. Kamikazan was lying. Or Ranma made a mistake. Or there's a piece of information missing! Princess Celestia would never send a malevolent clod like that on such an important mission! Especially when innocent ponies could get hurt! She'd send me, first!

Twilight snorted and nodded firmly to herself. This was definitely a misunderstanding and one more issue that would need to be cleared between Ranma and the throne. Celestia probably didn't even know the dragon existed.

Nonetheless, knowing what she did about the situation, it was very hard to fault Ranma for his stubbornness. He may have even had a point about possession of the artifact, ultimately. Twilight couldn't say with complete honesty and confidence that the MacGuffin Stone was safer with Celestia than it was with Ranma. But could she convince Princess Celestia of that?

The young Princess groaned and rubbed her head with a hoof. She was under no illusions that this reconciliation was going to be easy, but this was an entirely new wrinkle.

"Okay, let's forget about the MacGuffin Stone for now," Twilight said, floating the artifact back to Ranma. "It's yours. I accept that. In time, I hope you can trust us enough to protect and research it so that we can try to fix what's happened to you, but I won't make promises that I can't keep."

Ranma paused in his work, slightly overwhelmed as he took the MacGuffin Stone back between his hooves.

Twilight brushed away the firewood atop the stump and sat down in front of the stallion, almost nose-to-nose. "I need to know, though: if I take you to Canterlot and you stand before Princess Celestia, can you give an honest accounting of what you've done? Can you ask for forgiveness rather than giving in to resentment and sparking a conflict?"

Ranma's ears pinned back and he averted eye contact uncomfortably. "Oh, c'mon! I didn't do anything wrong!" he complained, storing the MacGuffin away in that inexplicable way of his.

"Really? Nothing at all?" Twilight pressed, leaning over to look him in the eyes again.

"Er... well... not ON PURPOSE..."

Twilight shook her head. "Ranma, ponies make mistakes. Sometimes other ponies suffer for them. If you can stand before Princess Celestia and explain yourself, I believe you'll be forgiven and your bounty neutralized." She frowned slightly. "I'm sure Princess Celestia isn't going to be happy that you're keeping the MacGuffin Stone. I honestly don't know how we're going to resolve something like that. But if you come with me to Canterlot, then I'm sure we can clear your name." She held out a hoof toward the martial artist. "Do you trust me?"

Ranma stared her hoof, and then sighed and placed his own against it. "Yeah. I guess I do. Thanks, Sparks."

"You're welcome, Ranma. Now let's go back to the farm; I'm sure you've chopped enough firewood for today." She smiled brightly, and Ranma couldn't help but smile back.

"You know Sparks, you're pretty cool for a Princess," he said with a chuckle, kicking some stray wood pieces toward the main pile.

Twilight blinked repeatedly. She wasn't used to that particular compliment. "I'm 'cool?' R-Really?" Her brow furrowed. "And I'm cool despite being a Princess, not because of it? Is that what you're implying?"

"Yeah. I can't stand royalty," Ranma confessed, "but you're different." He started heading toward the farmstead, and Twilight rushed to catch up and match his walking distance.

"Can you elaborate on that?" Twilight asked, her expression utterly serious. "How am I different? And if, in fact, these differences reflect positively upon me, are you sure the other Princesses lack these traits and aren't a product of your uniquely complicated interactions with them?"

Ranma just laughed, and Twilight pouted.

"But I'm being serious..." she grumbled.

"I know. It's really cute," the martial artist replied, chuckling.

Twilight flushed deeply and fell into silence while they walked through the orchard. Her thoughts were awhirl, one topic after another flitting through her mind. There was still so much she wanted to know about Ranma: what his real species was like, what his world was like, what his travels around Equestria was like. She wanted to know how he learned to fight and what type of metaphysical mechanism created the cyclones he used to rid himself of uppity dragons. She wanted to know about what happened on that day she had been rescued from Blood Rite, and whether Ranma had any special insight to the sorcerer’s plans that may have eluded Equestrian agents.

All this and more bubbled just below the surface, but once again Twilight Sparkle couldn't decide on the right words to bring about a new topic. She found her eyes drawn to the sunset instead, and the golden light washing through the leaves and branches of the orchard.

"Man, it's going to be awful getting to sleep tonight," Ranma complained out of nowhere. "Jack wants me up super early, and I haven't slept alone in a long time."

And so it was that Twilight decided what she wanted to talk about. "SPEAKING OF WHICH."

Ranma seemed startled by the sudden interjection, and Twilight's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously.

"Would you care to explain why you slept in my bunk last night?" Twilight asked, her voice hovering between righteous judgment and anxious curiosity.

Ranma blinked. "Er... why? I dunno." His ears flattened against his head. "I mean, was that weird? I'm sorry. Trix never seemed to care, so I didn't even think about it."

Twilight kept staring at him. "You slept with Trixie?"

"Yeah."

"In the strictly technical sense of sharing a bedspread?"

"Yeah."

"So when you climbed into my bunk without permission or warning you had no other intentions and it never occurred to you that I might object?"

"Er... y-yeah..."

Twilight held eye contact with Ranma for several seconds while he grimaced under her scrutiny. Then her expression relaxed and she turned away.

"I see. Well, I'm glad that it was simply a strange, harmless presumption on your part. I was... somewhat anxious about it," Twilight admitted.

Ranma froze in place, and his ears twitched.

"Although I don't object to platonic cuddling in and of itself, there are obviously certain norms in conduct between mares and stallions that you should be aware of, even if you've only been a pony for a matter of months now." Twilight continued on ahead while she lectured, not noticing that the martial artist had stopped. "In general, you have to learn to respect other ponies' personal space, especially in a setting as intimate as sleeEEEEP!!"

Twilight shrieked in surprised when Ranma slipped under her belly between her front and rear legs and then stood up to carry her on his back at high speed. She flailed in panic, but the shock and sudden acceleration stopped her from doing much else.

"THIS!! This is what I'm talking about! Stop doing things like this!" Twilight shouted.

"Above! We're under attack!" Ranma retorted.

A steel wire net fell over the clearing between the trees that they had abandoned, stretching nearly twenty feet across the ground and weighted at the edges with small iron blocks. Twilight gasped and then glanced upward, only barely catching a glint of polished armor before it was obscured by the branches of apple trees.

"Th-That... That was a pegasus soldier! The Royal Guard is here already?!"

Ranma started to slow his gallop through the orchard. "Royal Guard? So that was your military? Not some bounty hunter? Aw, crud," he groaned. "I can't head back to the farm with soldiers on my tail! DAMN IT, it's almost dinner time, too! This sucks!"

Twilight flapped her wings to move off of Ranma's back, and then hovered higher to see if she could spot the pursuers. "Well, I was really hoping I could get you a pardon before this happened, but I suppose I can't say Trixie didn't warn me." She pursed her lips while she considered her options. "Okay, let me try to talk them down. I think I can get them to send a message to Princess Celestia rather than pressing the attack. Ugh... I really should have had Spike send something earlier. I just thought we had more time!"

"Should I make a break for it while you're distracting them?" Ranma asked, his eyes fixed on something off to the side.

"No! Just... Just stay with me and please, PLEASE don't attack anypony!" Twilight couldn't spot any pegasi above them, and she lowered herself back to the ground. "We have to find the unit officer! The pony in charge will be able to tell the others to stand down!"

"It's probably that guy up ahead."

Twilight whipped around to see who Ranma was referring to, but she couldn't see anypony ahead of them. "Who? There's nopony there."

"You don't feel that?" Ranma asked, a shudder rolling down his spine. "It's like the dirt is burning up under my feet. I've never felt anything like it."

Twilight didn't feel a thing from the ground, and wanted to question him further, but then she heard it: the rattle of armor links, coming from the same direction Ranma was watching.

Walking through the orchard, a stallion slowly walked into view. Larger than Big Macintosh, with a fur coat of mottled gray and mane of charcoal black, the pony was a relatively imposing figure on his own without taking into account any armament. He wore a massive suit of elaborate plate mail that covered everything but his head and tail. The suit was covered in medals, seals, and sashes with all manner of symbols and iconography, such that Ranma couldn't tell which, if any, of them were supposed to be his cutie mark. The stallion didn't seem to be armed, but he exuded a sense of grave, silent menace that had the martial artist on edge.

"G-General Granite!" Twilight stuttered as he approached. "I need to speak with you! This is a misunderstanding! Ranma Saotome isn't our enemy! Please, call off the soldiers!"

General Granite stopped. His gaze shifted from Twilight to Ranma, sizing up the pigtailed stallion. "Not our enemy? I think the battered ponies lying in his wake would disagree. But I'm quite interested in why you don't, Princess."

"Well, that's... kind of a long and complicated story!" Twilight hedged. "But yes, we can talk this over! There's no need for violence, please!"

"Not if you surrender, there isn't," Granite said, much to the mare's confusion. "Princess Twilight Sparkle and the rebel thug Ranma Saotome, more popularly known as 'Havoc,' I have been sent to arrest both of you. Lay down at once and submit so we may restrain you."

Twilight's eyes bugged out. "Arrest both of us?! Arrest ME?! But why?!"

"That will be one of many subjects we'll discuss after I've secured your surrender and begun your interrogation, Princess."

Ranma scowled. "Yeah? You and what army?"

A loud, resonant whine filled the air as soon as the words left Ranma's mouth. Several magic circles appeared at seemingly random points in the orchard around them, forming intricate patterns of gold, pink, and purple that expanded and then spun over the ground.

Armored ponies surrounding a single robed unicorn flashed into place within the circles, appearing in clusters of eight to ten equines. Dozens of them appeared in seconds and then spread out, taking up pre-planned formations while the mages backed up to offer fire support.

The furious beat of wings came from above as pegasi swooped down from the clouds where they had been awaiting deployment. Some of the winged troopers carried crossbows attached to a foreleg or a spear gripped in their jaws, while others carried nets, chains, or shackles hanging from loops at their flanks. It wasn't possible to spot all of the descending soldiers given the tree cover, but there were enough to form a containment ring in the sky and cut off any aerial line of escape.

Unnoticed by most, several dark shapes emerged from behind bushes or dropped from the thick webs of branches in the trees above to back up the ground formation. The batponies brandished hoofblades and throwing knives, prowling a third perimeter behind their less stealthy cousins. Some of the other soldiers seemed surprised to see them, shifting their formation so that they could keep an eye on the Lunar Guard soldiers as well as their target.

"... Okay, that's a decent army," Ranma admitted as a sweatdrop rolled down his head.

"This is the end of your reign of terror across our lands, Havoc, and the last gasp of Blood Rite's pathetic little rebellion," Granite growled. "In the name of Equestria and Princess Celestia! Seize the traitors!"

Author's Note

This one was a little awkward because I didn't want to go full rom-com anime hijinks or MLP WAFF-attack but I think I struck the right balance and still got some good, healthy pony violence and everything definitely ended up worse than when we started so MISSION ACCOMPLISHED see ya next time.

Judgment Deferred

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 8
Judgment Deferred

Blood Rite appeared near the edge of the town’s border in a flash of white light, his teleportation flare casting long shadows behind the clusters of trees. He quickly ducked under the brush, searching the surroundings for any witnesses.

Nothing. There were no ponies gathered at this particular corner of the town at this particular hour. Which was to be expected; the sun was setting down and most of the townsfolk would be at home eating dinner. But he couldn’t take his security for granted. Not here.

Another flash of light consumed him, and Rite re-appeared atop the nearest house. With a few indecipherable whispers and a glimmer around his horn, a sphere of silvery magic coalesced into the air barely a foot above the roof. It was about the size of a tennis ball, and inscribed with a runic symbol on one side and a dark spot on the other, like the iris of an eye.

Even doing this much was a substantial risk; Ponyville was often subjected to strange magic effects, was the home of the Element of Magic, and also visited semi-frequently by Equestrian royalty. There was no telling how long his scryer sentries would last, and what would happen after they were discovered. Canterlot was still as nervous as ever about his movements and activities, and they were desperate for any lead they could get to corner him.

But there was simply no way he could miss the pandemonium that he had just unleashed within this sleepy pony village.

“By Faust, they really dispatched the army here, all to hunt down that pigtailed pest,” Rite whispered to himself.

In the distance he could see the pegasi above the trees, glittering from the reflection of the twilight against their polished armor. Beams of light flared up into the sky within a tight cluster in the orchard: group teleports, of the sort used to deploy Equestrian vanguards. How many ponies were facing down the accursed ape right now? Dozens? Hundreds? A thousand or more?

Rite had to tamp down his own excitement. He was sure that this deployment was so big in part because they thought - or rather, hoped - that he might show up to interfere. He still didn’t understand quite how Ranma Saotome, the single largest thorn in his side, had been branded as his ally and fellow rebel, but it was a fortunate thing that most of his enemies hated each other. It had already neutralized Kamikazan – an incidental obstacle, to be sure, but still a serious threat – and it may yet remove Havoc from the board as well.

Or the entire Equestrian military. Whichever.

He teleported to another roof, and began setting up another sentry. “I would give my left legs to be able to see and hear what’s happening in that orchard right now,” the sorcerer said to himself. “But I’ll have to set these here and hope the battle or its aftermath is visible from… hmm?”

Rite spotted a speedy blue blur arcing through the air above, and he fell flat onto the roof. With a flicker of magic, his cloak changed color to match the shingles, like the scales of a chameleon. The pegasus whipped past obliviously, zooming across town without slowing down.

“Careful… Careful…” Rite hissed, slowly standing up again. “I can’t get caught here just yet. Nopony must know how far my reach extends.”

He teleported to another rooftop, making sure to check the surrounding airspace extensively and keep his cloak in its camouflage mode. “One more, then it’s back to the gateway.” His lips twitched into a smirk. “I hope you put on a good performance for me, Havoc…”

“This is a mistake. This is all a mistake! You don’t realize what you’re doing!”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes darted around as she pleaded to the armored earth pony in front of her. Everywhere she looked there were ponies tensed for violence. Armored earth ponies, unicorns draped in magic robes, batponies with blades and masks, pegasi with swords and crossbows… and Ranma Saotome, standing before the mob.

“It may indeed be a mistake, Princess, but I’ll determine that for myself after you and your… friend are safely in custody.” General Granite’s eyes narrowed. “Stand down.”

“Get bent,” Ranma retorted flatly.

The entire military formation took a step forward, and Twilight’s hackles rose.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing! Ranma isn’t a rebel! He’s fighting AGAINST Blood Rite!” Twilight insisted.

“I will take your words under consideration during interrogation,” Granite replied. “Stand. Down.”

With a frustrated growl, Twilight slowly lowered herself onto the ground. “Ranma, please, just surrender. There’s no need to fight.”

“You can’t be serious,” the martial artist scoffed at her.

“I can fix this!” Twilight insisted desperately. “If I had just spoken earlier with Princess Celestia, this wouldn’t have even happened! I’ll get a message to her! We can sort all this out, but I need you to trust me!”

“I trust you just fine.” Ranma nudged his head toward General Granite. “It’s this chump I don’t trust.”

“You wound me,” Granite drawled.

“Not yet, I haven’t.”

“No! Stop! Don’t hurt anypony!” Twilight hissed.

“I must concur with the Princess. You’ve caused quite enough devastation already, Havoc. Surrender your weapon and lie down, and there might just be a chance things work out as Princess Sparkle hopes,” Granite said.

Ranma quirked an eyebrow. “Weapon? What weapon?”

“Don’t play coy with me, brigand,” Granite snapped. “You possess an artifact with which to harm the Princesses. A magical jewel belonging to your master, Blood Rite.” His nose scrunched up. “I won’t spoil the dramatic tension by naming the object in question, but we’re obviously not going to let you hold onto it in prison, or leave it to sit in some household drawer, unguarded. Where is it?”

A vein popped up on Ranma’s head, and Twilight at last accepted that there would be no peaceful resolution to this stand-off. After all she had done to bring Ranma to Ponyville for his own protection and benefit, she couldn’t possibly ask him to surrender his artifact under threat of force, and he wouldn’t comply if she did. If General Granite took the MacGuffin Stone then Ranma would likely never see it again. Everypony here knew that. While Twilight didn’t object to that arrangement in theory, having it play out like this was agonizing.

The realization sickened Twilight. Was she to blame for this? If she had been more cautious, or more forthcoming, or more aggressive, or more humble, could some part of this catastrophe have been avoided? Or was this inevitable the moment Ranma had stepped into Ponyville? Was there any hope of salvaging his future as a free stallion anymore? Was Trixie right after all, that there was no avoiding the collision course between Ranma Saotome and Equestria, only accelerating it?

“Sparks…” Ranma leaned closer to whisper into Twilight’s ear, interrupting her grim contemplation. “Can you teleport out of here?”

Twilight pushed away everything else from her thoughts and considered the question. “No. They planted a magic field obstructing me. Four unicorns are keeping the field in place.” She gulped. “If… If two of them broke their spell, then the field would collapse and I could leave.”

“Got it,” Ranma breathed, stepping away from the alicorn.

“Stop mumbling to yourselves and get on the ground,” Granite said, increasingly agitated. “Princess Twilight has done her best to protect you, but you’ve spurned her advice as well as my orders. This is the last time I’m going to demand your surrender. The only way you’re leaving this town is in shackles.”

A bitter, regretful laugh came from Twilight, slightly surprising the soldiers.

“I’m sorry, General. I wasn’t trying to protect him,” Twilight said with a sigh. “I was trying to protect you.”

The fight quite literally started before the Royal Guard realized it; a particular embarrassment for an army that had completely surrounded their target three times over.

Ranma rapidly scuffed the dirt with his back hooves while Twilight spoke, as if testing his footing. A stone was unearthed with his pawing, and it vanished into a dirt-colored blur through the air. A heartbeat later, a sharp cracking sound issued from the rear ranks of the formation, where the mages stood.

A shriek of pain came from a single unicorn – incidentally, the only one of the group whose horn was actively glowing – and he collapsed onto his side as a lump formed under his hood.

“SEIZE HIM!!” General Granite bellowed.

“Good luck with that,” Ranma snorted.

The martial artist launched himself toward the general, his aura blooming and trailing behind him like the flames of a rocket engine. General Granite didn’t flinch, leaning forward to take the blow directly.

Ranma leapt straight over him, revealing his feint. He landed within stabbing distance of the nearest soldier directly behind the officer, who spent only a moment stumbling in shock before darting forward with his spear. As expected.

Ranma dodged and bit onto the spear haft, and then slammed a hoof into the side of the soldier’s head, taking out the spear owner. The sound of crossbows firing and formation orders came from all around, and the martial artist did a cautionary backflip before hurling his newly acquired polearm.

“YEEK!!” One of the other mages with her horn aglow recoiled in shock when the spear stabbed into the ground between her front hooves, grazing her chest. Her magic flickered with the break in concentration, and that was the only opening Twilight needed.

With a flash of purple light and a distracted apology, Twilight Sparkle vanished from Sweet Apple Acres.

“That treacherous little…” General Granite bit his tongue and turned toward the pigtailed pony. It was far too early in this mission to start bemoaning failure. Twilight Sparkle was arguably the more dangerous of the two alleged traitors, but the pigtailed rebel wouldn’t be able to slip away so easily. Probably.

Ranma landed and rolled, jumping up into a sprint as soon as he got his footing. Crossbow bolts zipped past, stabbing into the orchard grounds in an uneven trail behind him, and spears lunged forward only to slice through empty air. It wasn’t clear where Ranma was going; he seemed to be galloping about at random. But a few of the soldiers bearing spears came close enough that they started to break ranks and pursue the martial artist.

“Hold formation! He’s trying to break you up!” snapped General Granite. “Move forward together! Choke off his maneuvering space!”

Ranma changed tactics immediately, turning on one heel and then bolting toward the General. Granite barely had time to blink before the gray blur struck him in the jaw, impacting with such force that the ground kicked up around him. The various soldiers firing on Ranma halted their volleys, and for a few seconds the battlefield fell silent.

Ranma blinked in surprise, his hoof still pressed against Granite’s cheek. The larger stallion had barely budged from the hit, and was glaring down at him. Such a kick should have been enough to unsettle a tree, but the armored pony merely seemed annoyed.

“That actually stings a little,” Granite growled, swatting away Ranma’s hoof. “Perhaps there really is something to all the wild talk about your power. But it will take much more than that to put down the Royal Guard of Canterlot.”

“Lemme guess: magic armor?” Ranma muttered, backing away.

“I decline to explain my abilities to you. Firebrand and Wrath may delight in showing off, but I prefer to complete my missions.” Granite thrust a hoof forward. “Advance! Subdue this criminal!”

The soldiers on the ground march in lockstep, their clanking armor striking a cold, steady beat through the orchard. Together the units formed staggered rings of spears four ponies deep, slowly moving inward toward their target. With the mages and batponies forming a back-up formation behind them, Ranma didn’t like his chances of going over or pushing through the grounded ponies directly; a few spells cast in a frightened panic could blast another massive hole in Applejack’s orchard, to say nothing of what it might do to him. Never mind that he didn’t have a good measure of Granite’s abilities, either. The larger stallion was waiting patiently for now, declining to attack, but Ranma didn’t imagine that would last much longer.

Besides, the Saotome style of Anything-Goes always recommended aerial combat anyway.

“Look out below!” bellowed a pegasus Sergeant before releasing his iron-weighted nets. Three other pegasi did the same, swooping down in long, shallow dives to drop their own.

“Look out above!” came a panicked shout from the ground.

The confused pegasi slowed and turned, and were treated to the sight of a nearby tree shaking violently, as if something were moving about the branches with great speed and force. Then a gray blur erupted from the tree top in a burst of leaves and apples, heading straight for the Sergeant.

A punishing kick sent the Sergeant flailing; his helmet plummeted to the ground with a sizeable dent, while the pony followed after it while flapping his wings in a blind panic. Ranma bounced away from his first victim, leaping onto the next-closest flyer and slamming both hooves into his back. He arced through the air toward another one, kicking off of her side before she could evade. He made his way over the treetops like this, bouncing from pegasus to pegasus in a series of lightning-fast kicks and acrobatic somersaults. Most of the soldiers tried to scatter, but enough of the flying ponies were so stunned at the sight that they missed their chance to dart out of range.

Ranma landed on the back of another soldier and kicked off, finally reaching the point in which he could see no more ponies in the air ahead of him. He plummeted back down into the orchard, landed heavily on an outstretched branch, and then used it as a springboard to leap to another tree.

A throwing blade grazed his shoulder, embedding itself in the tree ahead of him, but Ranma barely paid the weapon any mind. For now he simply took note that the batponies were apparently the soldiers closest behind him during his escape. That was a problem, as the thestrals were pretty much impossible for him to hide from. Echolocation wasn’t a sense that Ranma had any experience in evading.

“Whatever, guess I’ll just outrun all of them,” the martial artist grumbled, hopping from tree branch to tree branch. “Better lead them out of the orchard, though. If they start throwing fireballs or something in here, Jack is gonna be really mad.” Ranma had to imagine that the farmer was going to be upset about an army charging through her property no matter what, but if he could somehow ditch his pursuers without further damage at least she might not hold it against him for the rest of his stay in Ponyville.

His stay in Ponyville to clear his name and get the Equestrian army to stop hunting him.

“This sucks so much,” Ranma complained, ducking under a pair of crossbow bolts.

“He’s moving East!” shouted a soldier from above. “Pegasi, stay ahead of him while the ground troops catch up! And for Celestia’s sake, stay high!”

Ranma looked up, and he grimaced at the sheer number of ponies soaring overhead. Most of them struggled to match his sprinting speed, but staying ahead of them long enough to lose the entire army seemed unlikely. Also, most of them were armed with ranged weapons of one sort or another. Ranma could dispatch any individual soldier easily, and a whole squad with some difficulty, but once he was facing down actual armies it was time to look for other solutions.

A batpony in a black mask dropped down in front of him, and Ranma ducked under a gleaming knife edge slashing through the twilight. Twisting sharply, he smashed a hoof into the pony’s wing and launched himself away just ahead of a pair of crossbow bolts whipping through the air after him. The Lunar Guard shrieked in pain and anger, and the pigtailed stallion galloped away without slowing.

“At least Sparks made it out okay,” he grumbled as he dashed through the trees. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but it would really suck if she gets put in pony jail or whatever because she tried to help me.”

A loud whining noise snapped him out of his thoughts, and a column of magical light erupted in front of him. Another squad of armored ponies materialized within the halo, and the magic pillar shrunk to a string-thin beam of light before fizzling in the center of the formation.

“Halt, vill-“ the squad leader didn’t get any further in his demand before he was tackled by a furry gray blur, sending his helmet spinning away and smacking into another soldier. The stallion was thrown to the ground and then flung into a tree, shattering the rest of his armor and fully removing him from the rest of the battle.

Ranma jumped onto another soldier’s back and then leapt away from the squad, moving just inches ahead of stabbing spears and metal-shod hooves. The moment he touched the ground he was off like a bullet, speeding between the trees with the rumble of iron-clad hooves racing behind him.

The azure glow of Rarity’s magic surrounded her teapot, gently lifting it from the stove. With a push to its underside, the pot tilted to pour into a series of small porcelain teacups, steam wafting from the amber liquid. After a moment it stood upright again, and then sank back onto the burner.

“I’m so glad you could make the time to stop by to chat now that you’re back, Rainbow Dash. We were rather alarmed to learn that Twilight had suddenly departed without telling anypony where she was going. Again, I mean.” Rarity trotted to her living room, the tea cups following on disks of soft blue energy. “I invited Twilight as well, but Spike said she was out.”

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash lounged on a couch, with the latter laying on the arm in a pose that could only be described as “unlady-like.” As soon as the teacups were set down, Rainbow bounced up and landed at the edge of the coffee table, scooping it up in her hooves.

“It was pretty cool! We didn’t get to run into any sorcerers or rebels, but teaming up against a dragon was neat!” She paused to take a long sip of her tea. “Kamikazan is kind of an odd cookie. WAY angrier than the other dragons we’ve met. I also don’t get the whole dragon royalty thing. I’m guessing he’s a ‘king’ the same way Sombra was.”

“Why did you fight him?” Fluttershy asked.

“Because of the MacGuffin Stone, of course. I guess it isn’t just ponies that want that thing.” Rainbow put her tea down. “Which is no big deal on its own, but if he didn’t get the rock, Kamikazan was going to just start burning stuff to punish us. NOT cool.”

“I can’t help but be relieved that Spike was raised in a proper pony household away from others of his kind,” Rarity grumbled. “Then again, I suppose those unicorns also spilled pony blood to get the artifact as well. Such wanton cruelty, all over a gemstone.” She grimaced, floating a cup of tea to her lips.

“Yeah, I dunno what the big deal is, really. Havoc didn’t even bother to use it when he was fighting King Scaly. But hey, if Princess Celestia says it’s important, then it’s important.” She gulped down some more tea.

Fluttershy’s ears suddenly perked during the lull in conversation. “Hmm?”

“And how is Twilight, really? You said earlier that she didn’t get much rest last night, and I haven’t seen her since before she left,” Rarity asked, looking concerned. “She didn’t get hurt during the battle, did she?”

“Nah. Twi did great.” Rainbow paused to gulp down the rest of her tea, and then put the cup back down. “Things got a little dicey whenever we ran into Kamikazan, but AJ and I had her back! And then Havoc had her back too, and that was pretty much that.” She chuckled. “She didn’t get a scratch!”

“But she was the only one who couldn’t rest on the way back home?” Rarity asked, one eyebrow delicately curving upward.

“Yeah…” Rainbow Dash frowned, placing a hoof to her chin. “She did get to bed later than I did, I guess. When I turned in she and Havoc were the only ones up.”

Rarity’s other eyebrow jumped up. “Reeeally…”

“He was still sad about Trixie dumping him, I guess, and Twilight felt really bad for him.” Rainbow Dash shrugged, oblivious to the glint in Rarity’s eye. “I mean, I feel bad for him too, but I also think he’s way better off without Trixie leading him around the country and using him as a pack mule. Twi thinks there’s more to it than that.”

“Trixie dumped Havoc, you say?” Rarity pressed, leaning forward with a grin on her face.

“Boy, did she ever! I thought she was going to pop a blood vessel!” Rainbow Dash snorted and leaned back into a slouch. “I’ve never seen somepony so mad over a little collateral damage! She didn’t even care that he had just beat up a dragon!”

Rarity leaned closer. “And then, last night, Havoc and Twilight were alone together while everypony else was asleep? And then she went home flustered and exhausted this morning?”

Rainbow blinked. “Uh… yeah. So?”

Before Rarity could reply, Fluttershy timidly raised a wing and coughed. “Uhm, does anypony else hear that?”

“Hear what?” Rainbow Dash asked, sitting up straight again.

Almost immediately she could hear it too; a crashing noise and angry shouting, muffled by distance and the walls of Rarity’s boutique.

“Oh, what now?” Rarity asked, her mood instantly souring. “We were just getting to the good part!” She slid off her seat and approached the window.

“Aw hay, I hope that isn’t Havoc,” Rainbow Dash groaned, slapping a wing across her face.

“Well, um, I hope so too, but…” Fluttershy fidgeted with her hooves for a moment. “Well, he did hurt those Lunar Guards right?”

“They started it!” Rainbow protested.

“Er… does that matter?” the other pegasus wondered.

Rarity reached the window and tilted her head to one side, trying to get a good look. “What is going on out there?” she grumbled. “It’s like there’s some kind of mob running around.”

A series of thumping noises came from the walls. Alarmed, Rainbow Dash jumped up on all fours and Fluttershy yelped and hid behind the couch. Rarity looked over, trying to guess where the impacts were coming from, and then she took an uncertain step away from the window.

“Is somepony on the roof? Where did-“

A pair of bodies suddenly crashed through the window, and Rarity shrieked and flung herself away from the flying shards of glass.

Ranma rolled across the floor, his legs entangled with the thestral snarling and snapping his jaws at him. Once they hit a piece of furniture the martial artist flipped up and slammed his opponent’s head into the base, embedding the pony’s helmet into the table and shattering the teacups on top of it.

He jumped into a backflip, leaping over several throwing knives that stuck into the table surface. Landing next to another Lunar Guard, Ranma spin-kicked a hoofblade that was flying for his neck, and then body-slammed the thestral after she stumbled. The mare was smashed against the wall, and she screeched painfully before slumping onto the floor, her eyes spinning in her head.

“PONY ASSASSINS!!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“I KNOW!!” Ranma shouted back. A spear zipped by his shoulder, shaving off a few dozen hairs before stabbing into the floor.

The martial artist bolted across the room as a pair of pegasus soldiers dropped in through the window. Rarity gaped at the scene in horror, while Fluttershy covered her head with a couch cushion.

“What in the name of Celestia is going on here?!” the unicorn demanded, her shock and terror quickly making way for anger.

“The same thing that’s been going on for months, mostly!” Ranma explained while he raced for another window. “Sorry about this!”

That window shattered inward, and another pegasus landed in the living room with a sword in his jaw. Ranma attacked immediately, and a spinning kick sent the blade flying to the side and the soldier dropping to the floor. The sword thankfully went nowhere near the other ponies, but it did end up decapitating a helpless pony mannequin before sticking itself in a cupboard.

Another soldier swooped in through the window to block his exit, and Ranma glanced back at the two others who were sprinting across the floor. “I’m really sorry Rarity!” He ducked under a spear stab and then pivoted around on one leg, seizing the pegasus trooper’s neck between his back hooves. “I didn’t know this was your place!” He flung the soldier pony across the room, striking another one and sending them both flailing into a side table. A vase crashed down on top of them second later, breaking into dozens of heavy shards against their heads.

“If I don’t die or end up in jail I’ll make it up to you! Bye!” He jumped over another spear thrust, and then kicked off of the last soldier’s side. Ranma went out the window, while the armored pegasus was thrown across the room and slid across the coffee table, demolishing the tea pot in his passing.

“Woohoo! Go get ‘em, Havoc!” Rainbow Dash cheered, swinging one hoof in the air excitedly.

“Rainbow Dash, stop that!” Rarity admonished, scowling. “Look at what they did to my boutique! What is even going on out there?! How much damage have they already done?” Then she gasped. “Wasn’t he staying at Applejack’s home? Is she okay?! Did he wreck her barn again?!”

“Okay, okay, I get the picture. Let’s see if we can put a stop to this,” Rainbow Dash sighed, trotting up to the window. “But still, at least Havoc apologized.”

“Element of Loyalty my plot,” grumbled one of the injured troopers.

Rainbow stuck out her tongue at the stallion and then spread her wings, darting out the window.

It was dark out by now, with most of the town illuminated by scattered street lamps. In-between the lamps, unicorn soldiers led ranks of armored ponies with their horns aglow, casting about enough light for the troops spread through Ponyville to converge on their target. Not that they necessarily needed to see, as the sound of crashing timbers, banging metal, and agonized cries of pain were easy enough to follow. A trail of groaning equines in battered armor created a path straight to the harried martial artist, and dozens of soldiers galloped along the path to meet a similar fate.

“Yeesh, what did he do to deserve all this?” Rainbow wondered aloud. A wing of batponies whipped past of her head, their wings beating furiously against the air and blades clenched tightly in their teeth. “I feel like if we used this kind of force against every threat to Equestria, I’d have a lot more free time.”

A formation of pegasi dove from the clouds above Ponyville, the lights glinting off their armor and battle cries echoing through the night. Ranma leapt up into the formation before they could complete their dive, shocking the squad leader before he was sent spinning into the ground. The martial artist bounced from pony to pony with a series of bone-shattering kicks and the pegasi soldiers immediately became a hapless mess, with half the unit trying to flee like frightened pigeons while the other half attempted to engage in proper aerial combat as per their training. Their dire situation wasn’t helped at all by their unicorn comrades, who kept shining blinding beams of light into the fray to try to track Ranma in his flight.

Within seconds the pigtailed pony smashed a hoof into the back of the last soldier that had sought to stay and fight, and then he somersaulted away to the ground. Ranma took off immediately once he landed, galloping back around Rarity’s boutique. More soldiers thundered after him, their path parting around the various ponies laying on the road in twitching heaps.

“Okay, I take it back. What did the soldiers do to deserve this?” Rainbow Dash mumbled. Then she flipped around, searching the ranks of the Equestrian soldiers for somepony that seemed significant.

It didn’t take long to find such a pony. A massive stallion - by pony standards, at any rate - marched down the main road with a phalanx of unicorns lighting his path and two wings of pegasi escorting him from above. Ponyville residents peeked out of windows and partially opened doors, staring in awe at the veritable mountain of metal-clad equine marching past. Few knew who the stallion was at a glance, but the combination of heraldry and sheer strength of presence kept any of them from protesting at the bedlam rocking their hometown.

Even Rainbow Dash felt slightly overwhelmed at first, but the speedster quickly shook it off and swooped down toward the heart of the army. The pegasi soldiers flinched at her approach, but they didn’t try to stop her as she dropped down right in front of the hefty earth pony to hover at eye level.

“Hey, what the hay’s going on here?! Are you trying to get somepony killed?!” Rainbow shouted, causing the entire group to halt.

General Granite stopped and spent a moment sizing up the blue pony. “Return to your home, citizen. It’s not safe right now. We’re in the process of apprehending a pair of dangerous fugitives, and-“

“My name isn’t ‘citizen,’ it’s Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow interrupted with a snort. “I’m pretty sure you guys have heard of me! Now do you wanna explain why you’re tearing up the town trying to pin down Havoc? I thought Twilight was going to sort this thing out!”

Granite pursed his lips, hesitating in response. “I’m uncertain as to how Princess Sparkle might ‘sort out’ the arrest of a dangerous criminal and rebel against the Equestrian royal order. What was she prepared to do?”

Rainbow just groaned. “Again with the criminal stuff! Look, I get it: Havoc kicked around your buddy, and you’re mad about that. I understand. Hay, I kinda respect it! But we were already on track to take care of this rebel thing, and you’re going to wreck half of Ponyville and way more than half of the army trying to force him into submission.”

Granite’s brow furrowed. “You were ‘on track to take care of this rebel thing?’ Take care of a rebellion? What do you-“

“Now see here!” a shrill voice shouted from the side of the street. “This has gone far enough! You ponies have the gall to call yourself protectors of the peace?!” Rarity was approaching now, looking fairly enraged and with Fluttershy in tow behind her. “What is the meaning of this, General Granite? Are you so desperate for some blasted bounty that you’re willing to raze Ponyville to get it?”

Granite stared at Rarity, and then looked back to Rainbow Dash. “So am I to understand that you KNEW of the presence of a rebel warrior hiding in your village and you said nothing? What were you waiting for?”

“We were waiting for Twilight to resolve this horrid mess!” Rarity sniffed. “What emergency was so dire that it required a mass assault at Dusk to subdue a single pony?”

General Granite glowered at the mares, but he didn’t respond immediately. His first thought was that all the Elements, rather than just the Element of Magic, had somehow become ensnared in the rebel plot, but that didn’t quite make sense. He simply wasn’t prepared to order all the Elements of Harmony be restrained and imprisoned for interrogation. Having to take in Twilight Sparkle was galling enough.

“General! General Granite!”

A young earth pony raced up the road, near-exhausted. Her helmet was dented against her temple and her unit commander was slumped over her back, unconscious, but she managed to reach the General and salute before slumping onto the ground.

“Units Delta Gumdrop, Sunshine Alpha, and all Summer squads have fallen back and require medical attention!” the soldier gasped. “The enemy isn’t attacking our wounded, but having to constantly move them out of the engagement area is slowing our maneuvers!”

Granite grimaced. “I ordered our forces to surround him before attempting to engage!”

“We tried, General,” the soldier moaned. “The target keeps sprinting back and forth and around the buildings, and eventually draws out one squad ahead of the others! Then he suddenly jumps in and decimates them and runs off by the time the rest of us can help!” She gulped. “Also, the flyers don’t seem to realize how easy it is for him to reach them, especially with all the buildings around. Once he gets up in the middle of them he just bounces from pony to pony until they’ve all hit the ground. We can’t help them in mid-air!”

“General,” interjected a pegasus Captain, “I recommend we keep a tighter formation with our pegasi. Let me take them and a few batponies to the roofs, and we can ambush the target from above as soon as he assaults one of the ground squads chasing him.”

“What? You’re using my soldiers as bait?!” an earth pony Captain asked, looking offended.

“Well they haven’t done a stellar job of fighting, have they?”

“Neither have the pegasi! Weren’t you listening?!”

“Weren’t ANY of you listening?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “This is all a mistake! Back off, already!”

“Why would the Element of Loyalty be telling Equestrian soldiers to stop chasing a rebel?” a different officer asked suspiciously.

“He’s not even a rebel! It just seems like it because he keeps beating up our guards and soldiers,” Rainbow explained.

“I’m pretty sure that’s considered substantial evidence of rebellion,” the first officer drawled.

“Oh, for pony’s sake,” Rarity groaned, slapping a hoof against her face. “This isn’t going to end until a house gets knocked down, will it? No wonder the poor stallion’s held responsible for destroying so many buildings.”

“Buildings? We’re trying to dispense JUSTICE, here!” a soldier retorted.

“So far you’ve done a sterling job punishing my coffee table. With some minor renovations I could declare my living room to be a museum showcasing the breadth of the Equestrian military’s arsenal,” Rarity sniffed.

General Granite lifted a hoof, and then slammed it onto the ground.

Every grounded pony within a hundred feet bounced as a shock wave pulsed through the dirt under them, and Rarity almost fell over where she stood. Rainbow Dash felt nothing in the air, of course, but she couldn’t miss the brief rumble of moving earth or the rattling of the nearby windows as their foundations shook.

“Stop arguing,” the General commanded. Then he glanced to the side, at a unicorn officer. “Voice amplification spell. Now.”

The unicorn’s horn flashed, and a translucent bullhorn of sparkling green energy appeared before the well-armored earth pony. Rarity and Rainbow Dash quickly scrambled away, their ears pinning to the sides of their heads. Fluttershy hit the ground immediately, slapping her hooves over her ears.

“ALL UNITS, THIS IS GENERAL GRANITE!! CEASE PURSUIT AT ONCE AND FALL BACK TO THE VILLAGE PERIMETER!!” Granite barked, his voice booming over Ponyville. “I REPEAT, ALL UNITS ARE TO DISENGAGE AT ONCE AND FALL BACK!! SECURE AND ASSIST YOUR WOUNDED FOR TREATMENT AS NECESSARY!!”

Granite fell silent, and the bullhorn started to fade away along with the glow around the unicorn’s horn.

“I’m not done yet,” he said calmly. In an instant the unicorn straightened and cast the spell again, waiting for the General’s next move.

All around them, the soldiers of the Equestrian army made a mad dash back and forth across the streets of Ponyville. Many were carrying or dragging other ponies, or collecting dropped weapons as best they could while the unicorns lit their path. All were nervously glancing around at the shadows, terrified that the stallion they had set out to capture would suddenly emerge from the darkness to finish them off.

Within minutes, though, the majority of the Equestrian soldiers had cleared out of the village. The clatter of steel-clad hooves faded into the night, leaving only the General Granite and his entourage in the village square. Ponyville’s citizens watched in tense, confused silence from their homes and doorways and clustered by the side of the road; those that hadn’t already been drawn from their evening routine by the sound of combat had been drawn by Granite’s shouting. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash stared impatiently at the remaining officer ponies to turn tail themselves, assuming that was the next step after they had seen their troops to relative safety.

They were wrong.

Granite sucked in a breath.

“I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR THIS, HAVOC!!” Granite boomed, his magically amplified voice causing windows to tremble. “I’M DONE CHASING YOU IN THE DARK! I WON’T TEAR THIS VILLAGE APART OVER SCUM LIKE YOU! YOU MAY DESERVE IT, BUT THESE TOWNSFOLK DO NOT!”

Rainbow Dash frowned and glanced over at Fluttershy. The other pegasus shrugged, smiling hopefully.

“I WAGERED A SHOW OF MASSIVE FORCE WOULD BE ENOUGH TO STOP YOU! I WAS WRONG, AND THAT IS TO YOUR CREDIT! SO I PROPOSE WE SETTLE THIS PERSONALLY! ONE-ON-ONE! COME FACE ME, HAVOC! SHOW ME THE PONY THAT BROKE GENERAL FIREBRAND!”

Fluttershy cocked her head to the side, and then leaned over to Rarity. “Wait, why would Havoc agree to that after the General already said he wasn’t going to chase him anymore? Doesn’t that mean Havoc won? We don’t even know where he is.”

“Of course. This is ridiculous,” Rarity sighed.

“Totally gonna work, though,” Rainbow Dash said.

“I’VE HEARD A LOT OF NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU, HAVOC! CRIMINAL! REBEL! SAVAGE! MONSTER! THIEF! BUT NOPONY HAS LABELED YOU A COWARD! LET’S SEE WHAT YOU’RE MADE OF!”

He turned back to the unicorn Captain and nodded. The magical bullhorn vanished in a burst of magic sparks, leaving only the sound of hushed whispers from Ponyville’s spectators.

“You don’t really think he’s going to show, do you?” Rarity asked in exasperation.

Rainbow Dash smirked. “Three… Two… One…”

A dull crack and a batpony’s shriek of pain came from behind Roseluck’s house.

The Lunar Guard flailed wildly as he spun through the air, his helmet bouncing across the ground below. He hit the dirt hard and then rolled into a fence post, and several small blades fell loose from their holding straps and scattered themselves into the adjacent rose garden.

Ranma Saotome trotted out behind the thestral, his pace unhurried and a throwing knife clenched between his teeth. The martial artist had several small gashes and abrasions on his legs, and a streak of bloody, matted fur crossed his cheek. Still, his breath was even and he didn’t look nearly as close to exhaustion as Granite thought he should be.

“Called it,” Rainbow said smugly.

“Ugh. Stallions,” Rarity groaned. “Oh, whatever. At least they’re not tracking dirt and weapons through my boutique.”

“Hmmm. I didn’t really think that would work…” General Granite mumbled as the pigtailed pony walked up to him. “If I’d known I’d probably have done this to begin with.”

“Yeah? Well when you wake up make sure to tell your buddies. I’m tired of having to kick around your goons every time Trixie’s not around to trip them up first,” the martial artist grumbled, stopping some twenty feet away.

“Soldiers, fall back to a safe distance.” The officers around General Granite started backing away, leaving him and Ranma alone in the middle of the road. “As ridiculous as this state of affairs is, I intend to make good on my offer; you will leave this scoundrel to me. However this encounter ends, you are ordered to withdraw from Ponyville with the others.”

“But don’t leave yet, I still need you guys to carry this armor horse off, too,” Ranma warned.

“You know, this sort of cavalier attitude toward harming Equestria’s soldiers is probably what led to this fracas in the first place,” Rarity said. “Can’t you two just calm down and discuss this like adult ponies?”

“I have nothing to discuss with an enemy of the royal family except the location of his peers,” Granite declared, scuffing the ground with his hooves, “and I’d prefer that Havoc be wearing chains for that conversation.”

“I’m not an enemy of any royal family! Or at least, I wouldn’t be if they didn’t set up bounties for me for no reason!” Ranma complained.

“You can tell me about it at length during your interrogation. Let’s hurry and finish this.” He lowered his head, and his armor seemed to gleam even brighter in the moonlight. “I still need to see to the care of my injured troops.”

Ranma spat the throwing knife in his mouth into the ground. “Fine by me! I don’t want to stay up too late beating your head into the ground!”

Then he smacked his lips and frowned at the numb feeling in his tongue. “Also I’m pretty sure some of the blades that nicked me were poisoned, so I figure I have maybe ten minutes before I pass out anyway.”

Granite didn’t waste any more words, surging forward into a gallop. His boots pounded against the earth with unnatural force for such movements, causing small shockwaves and deep horseshoe imprints in the ground.

Ranma waited while the other stallion closed the distance, and then launched forward like a bullet. A streak of shining blue light followed his hoof as it struck Granite in the jaw, pitching his head to the side. Ranma planted his other foreleg and pivoted, bringing his rear legs to bear before the General could hope to react. A flurry of heavy kicks hammered the armored pony, and the sound of hooves ringing against steel echoed through Ponyville.

Granite slammed his hoof down rather than trying to hit Ranma with it, which initially confused the martial artist. Then the ground underneath him exploded, and a jagged spike of stone emerged and hurled the pigtailed equine into the air.

“WHOA! Okay, I didn’t see that coming!” Ranma admitted, back flipping away.

Granite slammed another hoof down, and another stone spike promptly burst up from Ranma’s intended landing point. Ranma kicked off the side of the spike and onto the ground, and then quickly leapt away as another rock immediately tried to skewer him.

“I do hope you’re as tough as you seem,” General Granite said, pausing to brush a leg against his muzzle. “I want to take you alive, but I can hardly afford to hold back. Any normal pony would be torn apart from a single hit by my Gaia blade.”

“Gaia blade, huh? Okay, I admit it. That’s pretty cool,” Ranma mumbled. A pair of new, bloody abrasions matted the fur on his right legs, but the pigtailed pony seemed unperturbed. “Of course, you’ll never get a real hit on me with something like that, but neat trick!”

Granite frowned, and then pounded a hoof against the ground. Ranma hopped to the side, avoiding another eruption of jagged rock. Another one burst from the opposite side at an opposing angle, but it went right over the martial artist rather than coming from beneath him. Two more hooves struck the ground, and two more spikes blasted upward ahead of and behind Ranma, rising high enough to tower over him but failing to actually touch him.

“Hey, are you getting tired already? Your aim is off!” Ranma taunted, kicking one of the stalagmites around him. “Or are you trying to pen me in or something? C’mon man, you can’t really think this is going to work!”

Granite sat back on his haunches, raised his forelegs, and then tapped his front hooves together.

All of the stone spikes across the battlefield immediately crumbled to pieces and fell to the ground. Ranma only had time to yelp in surprise before the downpour of stone buried him alive under a ton of rocks, and a great cloud of dust billowed out around the pile of rubble from the impact.

“And that is that,” Granite said darkly, gesturing over to where his officers were watching in awestruck silence. “Get a team with nets over here. Just put them over the whole pile and drag it off toward the rendezvous point. We still need to regroup and do sweeps for our… other target.”

“Other target? Who would that be?” Rarity asked, furrowing her brow. “Rainbow, who else did you bring back with you?”

“We didn’t bring anypony else with us! But that’s not the point!” Rainbow Dash announced, pointing a hoof at Granite. “You don’t seriously think this fight is over, already do you?”

“I hope not! I just got here!”

The other mares were quite startled to find Pinkie Pie sitting next to them wearing a pair of 3-D glasses and holding a bucket of buttered popcorn. The battle had attracted even more townsfolk by now, although most of them hung back much further than the Elements of Harmony. Including Applejack, who galloped into the middle of the square and made her presence known just after Pinkie.

“What in tarnation is goin’ on here?!” the apple farmer demanded, jumping up and down. “Ah got spears lodged in mah trees, some bat pony spooked the animals, and some thick-headed galoot is movin’ injured soldiers into mah barn!”

With a tired sigh, General Granite turned around to address the new arrival. “Surely you’re not going to evict the Royal Guard from your premises when we’re simply trying to tend to our wounded, Miss Applejack.”

“What Ah wanna know is why Ah have wounded ponies on mah farm ta begin with!” Applejack fumed.

“Take a wild guess,” Rainbow Dash drawled.

“Ah knew it. Ah just knew it,” the farmer groaned. “Yer all here fer Havoc. Dagnabbit, Ah thought Twilight was gonna sort this out!”

“Nah, he’s here to arrest her, too,” Ranma interjected.

The other ponies jumped in shock, in part from the revelation and in part from the martial artist casually joining the conversation after he had been buried. Ranma was now standing atop the pile of stone rubble, looking much dirtier than before but not particularly worse for wear.

“Blast! The scoundrel dug himself out while you were all annoying me!” Granite complained.

“Whoa, hey, what was that about you being here for Twilight, too?” Rainbow Dash demanded.

“Not cool! Very un-awesome!” Pinkie shouted, bits of popcorn falling from her mouth.

“Aiding a fugitive from the law is also against the law! This isn’t complicated!” the General said. “I’m only here for this scum, but I have no qualms against detaining and interrogating anypony who stands in my way! Unfortunately, Princess Twilight Sparkle is one of those ponies.”

“The only thing standing between you and me is my fists, chump!” Ranma retorted. Then he looked down at his legs forlornly. “Well, hooves, I guess. Geez, I really miss having hands...”

With another heavy stomp, another stone spike erupted from the ground, aiming to skewer the martial artist. Ranma leapt up above the earthen lance, its jagged edge rushing past just inches from his hooves. The shattered remains of the previous gaia blades were launched into the air around him as well, and once Ranma reached the apex of his jump he kicked one them back down.

The stone slammed into Granite’s forehead, causing the larger stallion to flinch. It didn’t do much more than that, failing to even dent his helm, but it was enough that Ranma landed on the side of the newest spike and kicked two more stones over. They crashed into his chest and leg, cracking apart on impact, and the General stumbled slightly.

“Bah! You think you can overcome me with pebbles?” Granite growled, standing up straight again.

“Good point,” Ranma admitted. He slammed a hoof into the gaia blade he was perched on, creating a deep crack across the circumference of the spike. Then he flipped up and over the spike’s tip and smashed both rear legs into it.

Granite only had time to yelp in surprise before a spiky boulder nearly twice his size struck him like a comet, knocking him clean off his hooves. He hit the ground on his side, his plate mail digging deep furrows in the dirt before he skidded to a stop.

He began to stand up, but Ranma was on him immediately, laying a flurry of kicks into his flank. Plate metal started to buckle under the steady beat of hooves, and Granite started to feel the full impact of the blows as his magic defenses weakened.

“What, are you done already? C’mon, your unicorn buddy put up way more of a fight than this!” Ranma taunted before diverting a back kick into the General’s head. Granite’s helmet rang against the impact and then went flying off his head, bouncing away to land at Pinkie’s hooves.

“That’s enough, out of you villain!” the royal officer shouted, shifting just enough to pound his hoof into the dirt below him.

The ground suddenly exploded all around Granite, kicking up a great deal of dirt and knocking Ranma away. The pigtailed pony landed upright, but the dust blinded him for a few critical seconds while Granite got his bearings. The stallion soldier charged Ranma like a bull, smashing his unprotected forehead into his opponent’s.

Ranma slid backward from the impact, but retaliated before Granite could. A hoof slammed into the larger stallion’s jaw, and a flip-kick sent him staggering back.

Granite sent a spray of rock shards exploding from the ground in return, peppering Ranma with shrapnel and forcing him to shield his face briefly. That was all the opening the General needed charge again, tackling Ranma onto the ground and sending both of them rolling across the dirt.

“WOOO!! YEAH!! C’mon Havoc, get ‘im!” Rainbow Dash whooped, swinging her hooves as if she was throwing punches. “Do that rock kick thing again, that was cool!”

“Rainbow Dash, I’m not sure you should be QUITE this enthusiastic about our guest fighting our army,” Rarity grumbled. “Shouldn’t we stop them? This is getting out of control!”

“It’s fine! Nopony’s going to die or anything, probably,” Rainbow replied. More stone spikes erupted from the ground ahead of them, and scattered bits of rock and dirt fell from the sky. “Besides, now that I know he’s here for Twilight too, I’m pretty sure the Loyal thing to do is back Havoc up.”

“Use a super move!” Pinkie Pie called out, now wearing General Granite’s helmet for no apparent reason. “Quarter-circle forward plus half-circle back plus punch!”

“Okay, this is definitely out of control. We JUST talked these ponies down from tearing apart the village over this!” Rarity complained.

Applejack walked over to join the others, giving the combat a wide berth. “Not sure whatcha aim t’do ‘bout it, Rares. Ah don’t think we can stop ‘em.”

“Do you think Twilight can stop them?” Fluttershy asked, surprising the other mares.

“Twilight? Maybe. Didn’t Havoc say she was in trouble too? Ah don’t think it would be a good idea to pull her back into all this, though,” Applejack admitted.

When Applejack glanced over at Fluttershy, the pegasus wasn’t watching the fight like the others but staring at something up on a roof nearby. “I, uhm, think you’ll have to tell her that.”

General Granite hit the ground on his side, teeth clenched against the throbbing pain in his head and jaw. Impacts thumped against his plate mail like a jackhammer, much reduced by the armor’s magical shielding and mundane protection but not entirely muted. One of his greaves lashed out, scoring a glancing hit on his opponent and forcing the martial artist back. Then the soldier lurched upright again, ready for the next assault.

“You will not prevail, Havoc! I’ll take you to Canterlot whether it be in chains or a coffin!” Granite growled.

Ranma paused to wipe some dirt off of his face before he replied. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’ve come to expect from Equestrian hospitality. Is there a first class option? Like maybe a cage with no chains?”

With a wordless shout, Granite surged forward into a charge.

Then a purple beam flashed between the two stallions, slicing a furrow into the ground and halting both of them.

“Who just… Twilight Sparkle?” It was still dark, of course, and the source of the beam was standing on a rooftop out of the light, but the purple glow of her horn was just enough for Granite to make out the form of an alicorn with something small riding on her back. Presumably her assistant, Spike.

Ranma frowned when he too spotted the source of the interruption. “Sparks, I told you to escape! Don’t worry, I’ve got this guy!”

“And escape you did,” Granite said solemnly. “So are you here to aid this criminal further, or have you come to your senses?”

Twilight’s horn glowed brighter, fully illuminating her and Spike, who was indeed sitting on her back. “I’m here to put an end to this before any more ponies get hurt,” she said firmly.

“Ah! Any MORE ponies, is it? I suppose that’s just poor luck for the dozens of soldiers already carted out on stretchers thanks to this savage.” Granite’s eyes narrowed. “You’ll have to wait your turn though, Princess. One way or another, there’s one more pony who needs to be ‘hurt’ here.”

“No. This duel is over. Withdraw,” the purple Princess commanded.

The General recoiled slightly, genuinely surprised. “Pardon? Putting aside your complicity in this affair, you don’t give me orders, Twilight Sparkle.”

A lightning bolt suddenly lanced down from the otherwise calm skies, punching a hole in the cloud cover and striking the ground with a crash. Ranma leapt away in shock, his pigtail standing on end. Granite barely flinched, thinking that the energy blast was some sort of warning shot Twilight was trying to frighten him with. When the dust cleared, however, the General’s stoic expression melted away before the glares of Princess Celestia and Luna, standing side by side within a swirling aura of gold and blue light.

“P-Princess! What are you-?” Granite took a step back in surprise, and then his eyes darted to Ranma in alarm and fear. “No! Please, you must withdraw! It’s too dangerous! This rebel has the MacGuffin Stone!”

Princess Celestia turned her head slightly, her eyes meeting Ranma’s. Ranma blinked, clearly confused as to what was happening. “Hm. Is this true, Havoc?”

“No, I’m Ranma,” the martial artist replied, waving a hoof. “Havoc is the other guy.”

“We know you’re the same pony,” Celestia drawled, “that diversion won’t work again, Havoc.”

Ranma had the grace to look embarrassed, and his ears flipped down as he sighed. “Okay, fine. Yeah, I have the MacGuffin Stone. So what? I’m not a rebel, though.”

“You’re fighting Equestrian soldiers in direct defiance of our authority!” Granite growled. “What is that if not rebellion?!”

“Oh, SHUT UP,” the pigtailed stallion groaned. “You morons jumped on top of me as soon as I got here, and I’m not supposed to defend myself?”

“Not to take their side in the greater context of our conflict here, which has been quite unfair to you in general, but that IS how arrests generally work, darling,” Rarity interjected. Ranma pouted and turned his head away.

Luna’s expression was unusually controlled, and unlike her sister she avoided meeting Ranma’s eyes directly. “General Granite, we’ve been briefed on the situation. Twilight Sparkle has told us everything. Take your troops and withdraw.”

“Twilight Sparkle?! But she was-“ the officer started, only to be cut off with a flash from Luna’s horn.

“That was a direct order, General. Or are you going to defy our authority in order to assert your own?” Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Th-This is… With ALL due respect, Princess, I must object!” he shouted. “This stallion is a dangerous outlaw carrying an artifact of incredible power who has shown NOTHING but violent opposition to us! He and Blood Rite have cut a fiery swathe of destruction through a quarter of Equestria! And-“

“Okay, NO! Right there! Wrong!” Ranma interrupted, shaking a hoof at the other stallion. “I am NOT with Blood Rite! That was MY fiery swathe of destruction, not his!” Noticing Celestia’s frown, he stopped and cleared his throat. “I mean, ‘destruction’ is a bit much. It’s true I burned some stuff, I guess. By accident! But the point is, I hate him and his stupid green lackey! Especially the green lackey! She changed me into a pony and keeps hitting on me!”

“If you’d like to explain yourself you may do so IN FULL while shackled to a wall in a proper dungeon,” Granite growled at the martial artist. “I’ll not hold your trial here, in the middle of a village while they’re still carting my injured soldiers off the field!”

“Oh, SPARE ME the constant ‘he hurt my poor troops’ whining!” Ranma snapped back, stepping toward the larger stallion. “I was just trying to do some honest farm work and you jerks surrounded and attacked me! What the hell did you think was going to happen?!”

The two stallions edged closer to each other, looking as if they were ready to come to blows again. Then a clear, magically-enhanced voice cut through their building anger.

“I’ve heard enough,” Celestia said, spreading her wings.

Her gaze rose, encompassing the other ponies who were gathered in the streets to watch. As if suddenly remembering themselves, the citizens of Ponyville all stooped over into a bow. The Elements and Royal Guard followed suit, and eventually, after a moment of silent resignation, so did General Granite. Aside from the Royal Sisters, the only ponies still standing were Ranma and Twilight. The former watched the display with unease, while the latter slowly descended from the rooftop to land next to Celestia.

“Havoc,” the white Princess said, settling her gaze once more on the pigtailed pony. “So much grief and destruction has followed you since you set hoof into Equestria. The injured by now surely rank in the hundreds, to say nothing of the damage and petty crimes endured by your passing. Havoc may not be your true name, but surely you can see why the moniker comes so easily to us.”

“Okay, FIRST OF ALL-“ Ranma started to say, only for Twilight to firmly shake her head.

Celestia halted, slightly surprised at being interrupted. Twilight and Ranma seemed to share a brief, silent battle of wills hashed out through silent glares and gestures. After a few seconds the non-verbal argument concluded, and Ranma fell back onto his haunches while fuming quietly.

“… As I was saying,” Celestia continued, “this is merely the surface of the matter, however. You have also performed great deeds in aid of Equestria. You rescued my sister, and then later, my student. You have foiled Blood Rite on multiple occasions. And despite the great power of the MacGuffin Stone and the threat it poses, I’m not aware of you using its power for your own ends. You have the spirit of a hero, Havoc, even if it’s hidden beneath the countenance of a rogue.”

“In addition,” Luna interjected, “my own actions have… complicated this matter greatly. I have neglected my responsibilities, and I believe inviting a duel was quite reckless of me even if my intentions were honorable.”

Celestia shook her head. “It is hardly your fault, Luna. Pride and misunderstanding have constantly escalated this needless conflict, and I too have failed. Twilight came to me to explain and resolve this matter at length, and I demurred. My reasoning was fair and just, perhaps, but it is quite apparent now that only she and her friends appreciated the importance and potential danger of this feud. So now I will put an end to it once and for all.”

“Y-Your Highness? What do you intend to do?” Granite asked, his voice cracking slightly. “Surely you don’t intend to let this villain go free?”

“If I were to study the situation at length then I would likely agree with you, General, but the last time I rendered such a judgment it precipitated this very confrontation, including the charge of my most faithful student as a rebel conspirator,” Celestia said wryly. “If I’m to learn anything from my mistakes, surely it should be to put greater faith in my student’s advice. So I will grant her request and bring this sorry grudge to an end.”

The white alicorn folded her wings again and then turned her gaze back to Ranma, nodding her head slightly. “Havoc. Ranma Saotome. I, Princess Celestia of Equestria, hereby grant you and any other alias that I may not have mentioned a full, unconditional pardon. I release you from the judgment of our arbiters for any and all crimes and misdemeanors that are alleged to this day, no matter their urgency or severity.”

“Calamity,” Ranma interjected as soon as she stopped speaking. “Calamity is another alias. For my pegasus form. I think it’s dumb but Trixie insisted, so… you know.”

“You might have noticed there’s kind of a theme with his pony names,” Spike muttered.

“Yes. Well…” Celestia cleared her throat. “I need you to understand that I am taking this step against my better judgment, on the advice of my faithful student, Twilight. There are many important matters you have yet to answer for, but she has convinced me this is the only way to put an end to the bedlam and misery that’s followed your travels within our lands. This is a second chance, Havoc. Don’t waste it.”

“Sure, okay.” Then Ranma raised a hoof toward Twilight. “Thanks, Sparks!” The purple alicorn flushed slightly in embarrassment, but otherwise kept her attention focused on her mentor.

Princess Celestia finally turned her head to address General Granite. “General, I understand the decisions you’ve made, and I thank you for your efforts to protect Equestria and its ponies. I’m sure you have much to say. I ask that you reserve your arguments until the morning, so that you may tend to our soldiers and let your frustrations cool.”

The armored stallion said nothing for several seconds, and then ducked his head. “As you wish, Princess Celestia.” Without casting so much as a glance at Ranma, the General turned around and trotted away.

The other officers of the Royal Guard also dispersed, leaving to join the units that waited outside Ponyville. The crowd of Ponyville spectators parted to allow the soldiers through, and then they themselves started to leave as they decided there would be no further excitement that night. Only the Elements of Harmony remained to watch as the Princesses approached Ranma to speak to him in a less public fashion.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Princess!” Twilight said brightly. Her tone was light and gleeful, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her heart. “I know that this wasn’t an easy decision and you’re still unsure about him, but I promise you won’t regret this!”

“Okay, just so everybody’s clear, we all know I had him on the ropes, right? That fight was mine.” Ranma insisted. “Not saying that I still want to beat him up or anything, but I absolutely could have if the pardon thing didn’t happen. I’m counting that as a win.”

Twilight’s eyebrow twitched. “You won’t… regret it very much, at least!” she revised, her smile looking slightly strained.

“I have little doubt you would have prevailed, yes. I’ve faced your tenacity personally and our generals, mighty as they are, are little match,” Luna said. Her expression seemed slightly forced, as if she was still pretending she was addressing a crowd like before. “But we have topics of greater import to discuss now that Twilight Sparkle has brought you to us, Mister Ranma.”

“Like what? I already got the pardon. That’s what I came here for,” Ranma said.

“The most obvious item, of course, would be the MacGuffin Stone,” Celestia said delicately. “May I ask where it is?”

“I have it here,” Ranma replied evenly, “and I’m still not giving it to you.”

Celestia said nothing for several seconds, and then craned her neck to one side to look him over from another angle. “Where, exactly is…?”

“It’s on ‘im, Princess. Take it from us,” Applejack grunted. “Don’t worry ‘bout the details, ‘cuz Havoc ain’t much fer explainin’.”

“I… I see. It’s unfortunate you still doubt our intentions, Havoc. We only wish to safeguard our kingdom and our ponies from harm,” Celestia sighed.

“It’s not that I doubt your intentions, I doubt-“ Ranma begin, only for Twilight to interrupt.

“Ranma, be NICE please,” the young Princess requested through clenched teeth, still smiling widely. “We’re all friends here, aren’t we? Everything is FINE.”

“And what of the sorcerer Blood Rite?” Luna asked. “We have heard nothing of him since his capture of Princess Twilight and the artifact.”

“Not sure,” Ranma admitted, touching a hoof to his chin. “The last I saw of the unicorn goons was in Flamehearst.”

“Flamehearst?” Celestia asked, her voice catching. The others noticed her surprise, but none of them knew what Ranma was referring to.

“Yeah, that’s where they set up shop, apparently. Had a big evil wizard tower and everything.” Ranma sighed regretfully. “I managed to get the MacGuffin back, but I didn’t really get a showdown with Blood Rite. Swan Song tried to wipe everybody out at once, and then Rite ran off when your scaly red buddy dug his way out. I don’t know where either of them are now.”

“Scaly red buddy?” Rainbow Dash asked, furrowing her brow.

“Ranma, what did I tell you?” Twilight fumed, finally breaking her forced smile. “Don’t bring that up again! Princess Celestia absolutely was NOT working with Kamikazan!”

Celestia gulped. Loudly. This was not lost on the other mares.

“You… weren’t. Right?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I didn’t… That is… It wasn’t really…” Celestia looked quite distressed, not least by the slack-jawed expression Twilight was giving her. “… What did he do?” she finally asked, cringing.

“Oh dear,” Rarity sighed.

Ranma’s expression shifted briefly to anger, but the stallion deflated after a few seconds. He could hold a grudge as well as anybody, but he mainly blamed Kamikazan, not Celestia, for the destruction of Trixie’s wagon and the subsequent chewing-out that had driven him to Ponyville. He had already paid the dragon back in spades, while Celestia had finally ordered her troops to leave him alone; for someone who was used to his personal vendettas constantly escalating without resolution, this was really as good a conclusion as he could imagine.

“Eh, he didn’t do much that I know of. He was hunting me down for the magic rock and mentioned you, that’s all,” Ranma said. “He didn’t get it, though, so if you were making plans for when he got back to you, don’t worry about it.”

“P-Princess, you… you sent KAMIKAZAN after Ranma?” Twilight asked, still gaping. “How? Why?”

“Is this not the dragon that appeared over Canterlot last week?” Luna asked. “Given your description of the lout, I’d not thought you would strike a bargain with such a creature.”

Celestia winced, pressing a wingtip to her temple in frustration. “I… I did,” she admitted, hanging her head. “Evasion or dishonesty will get me nowhere. With no leads on Havoc and no idea what happened to the MacGuffin Stone, Kamikazan claimed he could find it. I requested he do so. It was a foolhardy, opportunistic bargain, and I regret it.” Then her head snapped up again. “I also EXPLICITLY demanded he not kill anypony! That was part of the deal!”

“And he didn’t,” Ranma said with a shrug. “Not for lack of trying, though.” Celestia looked mortified at the admission, but he didn’t press the matter. “Anyway, it doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I left him in a big hole outside Lancanter. He might still be there, I guess. I don’t know how fast dragon bones knit. Was there anything else because it’s way past dinner time and I am STARVING.”

Celestia had quite a few other questions for the pigtailed pony, but none of them were as important as those already covered and she could still feel Twilight’s incredulous stare on her like it was burrowing into her skin. “I have more to say, but surely we can arrange a meeting under less… stressed circumstances,” she coughed gently and nodded her head. “You are dismissed, Havoc.”

“FINALLY! Jack, let’s go!” Ranma leapt into a rapid trot in the farm’s general direction, and Applejack sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, Ah’m right behind ya,” she mumbled, following her house guest down the road. “Me and the others already ate, but Ah’m sure Granny can whip up… uh… Havoc? Somethin’ wrong?” While the stallion had raced off at first, now he was slowing to a sluggish walk and wobbling back and forth.

“… Right, right. The poison. Forgot about that,” Ranma Saotome mumbled, frowning. Then his legs buckled, and he fell down into the dirt.

“Is… Is he going to be okay?” Celestia asked, glancing around at the other mares. None of them seemed particularly worried.

“Aye. The Lunar Guard uses a paralytic agent to slow down their targets, but the venom is far less dangerous than the blades used to deliver them. If his wounds are not severe, then Mister Ranma is in no danger,” Luna explained. “Applejack, allow me to escort you.” Her magic encircled the stallion and lifted him up into the air.

“Mighty kind of ya, Princess,” Applejack said, trotting under the levitating pony. “Just let ‘im down easy, and Ah’ll… uh…”

Applejack watched, perplexed, as Luna floated Ranma away from her and then walked under his levitating body much as she had. Then the Princess gently lowered him onto her back, settling her wings on either side of the stallion.

“Lead the way, please,” the dusky alicorn requested, looking curiously happy. “Sister, you may return without me. I’ll be along shortly.”

Celestia looked like she wanted to say something while Luna and Applejack departed, but she thought better of it and shook her head. “I need to get back to the castle. I think I understand why General Wrath was ordering around guard formations now.”

“Princess? I…” Twilight started to speak but then shrunk back, thinking hard on what she had heard.

“Twilight, I’m sure you’re quite disappointed in me. I’m quite disappointed in myself, as well,” Celestia admitted. “Not only did I put many ponies in unnecessary danger by entertaining Kamikazan’s bargain, but manipulating him as I did in order to solve my problems was quite distasteful and, ultimately, useless.” She shook her head. “This was a quest that I did not entrust you with, out of fear for your safety. That was another error, if not one made with better intentions. It was tremendously fortunate that you thought to seek Havoc out on your own, even if that too almost ended in disaster. Once again, Equestria owes you a debt.”

Despite her earlier shock, Twilight couldn’t help but feel her heart swell at the compliment. She’d taken on the quest on a wild hunch and out of an obligation to Ranma, but everything had - eventually - turned out as well as she’d hoped.

Celestia turned around and started walking away from the battle-scarred yard. Twilight followed her, head craned up to listen attentively. “I feel like we’re close to bringing this ugly chapter of Equestria to an end. Kamikazan’s involvement was… regretful, but it was brief and it sounds like it was ended decisively. I don’t expect he’ll be showing up to report his failure to me.”

That sounded kind of dismissive to Twilight, but before she could find an appropriately deferential way to ask about it Celestia ducked her head down to hers so she could whisper.

“That said, be careful around that stallion, Twilight. He is a strange one, and I cannot read his intentions. So long as he possesses the MacGuffin Stone, he is no ally of Equestria.”

Twilight felt her earlier proud elation drain away. After everything Ranma had been through, Celestia still thought he was an enemy? What did she think his “intentions” should be after being chased across half the country and surrounded by soldiers?

“I can hardly second-guess your judgment now, after you brought him here safely and managed to stop this debacle, but, well… What you’ve said about Havoc, in terms of… everything, frankly, doesn’t fill me with confidence. He opposes Blood Rite for personal reasons, not because he wishes to defend harmony or preserve our kingdom. If he were to dwell on his grudges against Equestria, I have no reason to think he would not turn against us on a whim. We cannot trust him.”

Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat. “But… he trusts me,” she protested weakly. “When… When General Granite had us surrounded and demanded both of us surrender, the first thing he did was help me get to safety. He didn’t even know I had a way to get help!”

Celestia paused in her walk, staring at her student inscrutably.

“He’s… He’s done a lot for me, actually! And he never had to! Until just now, when you pardoned him, I’d say I’ve never done much to deserve it, either! In fact, the first thing I did when we met was call him crazy and blow him up! That second part was an accident, though.” Twilight felt like she was babbling now, but pressed on anyway. “We’ve done so much to him, for so little reason! Just because of a miscommunication! But he came with me to Ponyville anyway! Even knowing he might be attacked and imprisoned! Which is what happened! Except for the imprisoned part! We have to stop treating him like some kind of animal!”

The young Princess stopped to catch her breath, anxiously awaiting Celestia’s response. Celestia continued staring thoughtfully, her expression completely unreadable.

“… I see. I’ll leave it to you, then. Please disregard what I said earlier,” the white Princess finally replied with a small sigh. “Your instincts have served you well, Twilight. Better than my own, at least. Do what you can, but do not hesitate to ask me for support or share more information.” Celestia stretched a wing over to pat Twilight on the head, and the smaller alicorn flushed. “I must go now. I’ll think on your advice, and if I decide to confront Havoc again, I’ll forewarn you first.”

“Okay, yes, good. Also, like I said earlier, his real name is Ranma Saotome,” Twilight said quickly. “I know lots of ponies call him Havoc and he’s pretty much given up on stopping them but he REALLY prefers his actual name!”

Celestia chuckled and backed away, a tired smile on her face. “Good night, Twilight. And thank you.”

A golden flash consumed the white Princess, and then she was gone.

“Here’s the guest room, Princess. Ah had Mac get it ready before supper. Just drop ‘im on the bed there.”

Applejack pushed open the door and stepped to the side. Princess Luna walked past her, with Ranma still nestled on her back. A soft snore came from the martial artist, and he nuzzled his face against Luna’s wing.

“Did he fall asleep? Guess he might as well if he can’t move anyhow.”

Luna smirked. “Mister Saotome surrendered to his dreams almost immediately after falling to the road. Had we left him, he’d no doubt have slumbered in the dirt until morning. Such an odd pony, is he not?”

“That’s a bit of an understatement, Princess,” Applejack huffed. “Still, thanks fer comin’ down and puttin’ this bounty nonsense to rest. I’ll be sleepin’ easier too, knowin’ there’s one less angry mob liable to knock mah door down to get ‘im.”

The dark Princess stopped next to the bed, and then spread her wings half-way. She tilted one of them down and the other up, and Ranma slowly rolled down onto the mattress.

“Indeed! It is most fortuitous that Twilight Sparkle rushed a letter to us to call for our aid! And although I wish circumstances had not grown so dire, the danger pressed Sister to allow for a full pardon and demand that our soldiers stand down.” Her horn pulsed softly, and the bed’s blanket moved to tuck in the pigtailed pony. “I have also dictated similar demands to my Lunar Guard. Any thestral that lays hoof or blade upon Mister Ranma from here on out, for any reason, will be cast back to the caves on my order.”

Applejack tilted her head to the side. “That sounds… a little different from what Celestia said.”

“It was a necessary measure, as my warriors can be an undisciplined lot. They act out of hope of my favor more than concern for law and country.” Luna snorted. “But no matter. They will trouble you no longer. Those who laid ambush within your groves will be chastised appropriately.”

Applejack nodded solemnly. “Yeah, and Ah’m right thankful. Bad enough we could have evil sorcerers and angry dragons knockin’ on the barn door, but Ah don’t want no trouble from the ponies who’re supposed to protect us from them, too.”

“Dragons!” Luna said suddenly, laughing. “Did he not say he vanquished the great red drake Kamikazan?”

“That he did, Princess. I saw it with mah own eyes.” Applejack sounded somewhat exasperated rather than awed by the recollection. “Ah’m mighty surprised Princess Celestia had her hoof in that, though Ah kinda feel like the varmint woulda been on Havoc’s tail anyhow. He always seems t’be in the wrong place at the right time.”

“Indeed he does,” Luna said softly. One of her wings spread over the bed and brushed the tips of her feathers across Ranma’s sleeping face. He twitched in his sleep and rolled over. “He has endured a great deal, has he not? I am… pleased I could ease this burden, and rather embarrassed to have been the cause of some portion of it.”

“……” A long, slightly awkward silence hung in the room after that. Luna remained standing next to the bed, one wing extended over the blanket. Applejack remained in the doorway, waiting.

Then Luna cleared her throat. “You needn’t tarry any longer. I can see myself out, and I’m certain you have other matters to attend to.”

“Ah can stand here all night, Princess, don’t you worry,” the farmer replied evenly.

Luna’s expression soured, and she folded her wing with a huff. “I suppose I too must get back to work. I expect I’ll return soon enough, once circumstances are less heated.” She trotted up to the doorway, and Applejack let her pass.

“And Sweet Apple Acres will always welcome ya, Princess. G’night now,” Applejack offered before closing the bedroom door.

The next day begin with surprising, almost deceptive normalcy considering that Equestrian troops had charged through Ponyville the previous evening.

Those ponies who could afford to sleep late, did. This did not include the Apple family, for whom waking at the very crack of dawn was vital to their livelihood, nor did they spare their houseguest, even though he had been the focal point of last night’s commotion. Ranma Saotome was dragged out of bed for a big, early breakfast (for which he was delighted) and then given the task of retracing his steps through the orchard and removing any weapons or other objects that had been dropped on the ground or lodged in the trees (for which he was less delighted).

In Ponyville proper, Twilight Sparkle also awoke earlier than she really would have liked. In her case, however, it was due to a persisting insomnia rather than the demands of the day’s labors. She had spent much of the night tossing and turning, or staring intently at the ceiling while her thoughts raced.

Part of this was simply an anxious, comprehensive review of the last couple days. After things had nearly come so close to coming apart, with Equestrian soldiers marching on Ponyville and attempting to arrest her, Twilight couldn’t help but think she had done something wrong. All of her actions had been taken in good faith and made sense at the time, so what had she neglected? She simply couldn’t accept that simple miscommunication or bad luck had led to such a catastrophe. Something more must have gone wrong!

Another part of her concern was what was going to happen next. Ranma had been pardoned, which was their main objective in coming to Ponyville. He was a free pony, and could finally maintain that freedom without further violence. So now what?

Twilight hadn’t been especially worried about this point before, given the importance of the pardon itself, but now that it had happened things got fuzzy. Celestia still wanted the MacGuffin Stone, and considered its possession to be vital to Equestria’s survival. Ranma was apparently determined to pay Twilight and her friends back for the things they donated to Trixie (an offer that Twilight had no intention of redeeming, as the expense was trifling to her), so his immediate future looked to be consumed by farm chores, of all things. Luna was ostensibly of the same mind as Celestia, primarily concerned about Equestria’s fate, but Twilight suspected that the Princess of the Night had other intentions. Speaking of Trixie, who had been left behind during a moment of emotional and financial turmoil, where was she? Was she really done with the cursed pony, after they had spent months traveling together being hounded by guards and sorcerers?

And what about Twilight Sparkle herself?

“Pancakes are ready!”

Twilight started slightly at the sound of Spike’s voice, realizing that she had been staring blankly at the wall for several minutes. The plate containing her breakfast dropped in front of her, its aroma giving a pleasant shock to her senses. The alicorn’s horn flickered, and her fork and knife, as well as a syrup pitcher, all descended on her meal.

Spike dropped a plate of opals on the opposite end of the table from the mare (also drenched in syrup), and then sat down. “So, what’s on the agenda for today? Are we going to follow Ranma around the farm while he works? Invite him to dinner? Should I set up a sleeping space for him? You were talking about inviting him to stay here yesterday, before things kinda got out of control.”

Twilight gulped down the first mouthful of pancakes before she replied. “That… That’s probably unnecessary. The sleeping here part, I mean. Now that he’s been pardoned, there’s a lot less pressure to make sure he stays out of trouble.”

“Ah, okay.” Spike paused to eat one of his gems, and then delicately dabbed his mouth with a napkin. “What about the MacGuffin Stone, though? I thought you needed to spend more time with him to convince him to hand it over. You think it’s better to give him a little space?”

Twilight didn’t answer right away, slowly working through her breakfast. After several minutes, she took a long gulp of milk and then looked up at Spike. “What if… What if trust isn’t the issue?”

“Huh? What do you mean? The issue for what?”

“The MacGuffin Stone. I mean… what if Ranma and I are already friends, and there’s no hypothetical higher state of friendship that would get him to give me the MacGuffin? What if…” Twilight trailed off uncertainly, staring at some indistinct point above Spike’s head.

Spike checked to make sure there was nothing behind him, and after he was confident that Twilight had simply zoned out he cleared his throat. “So what are you saying? That he’s never giving you the gem, so you should give up?”

Twilight snapped out of her thoughtful daze and slouched in her chair. “No! Well… kind of. Not really, but…” She frowned, furrowing her brow and tapping a hoof irritably against the table. “It’s more like… what if the correct course of friendship here doesn’t lead to Ranma giving me the MacGuffin Stone, but to me letting him keep it?”

Spike arched an eyebrow. “Ah. Okay. And Princess Celestia would be… okay with that?”

Twilight groaned, and took a minute to shovel more food into her mouth. After guzzling the rest of her milk, she sighed in contentment and leaned back in her seat, staring at the ceiling.

“Would it… really be so bad? Just letting him have it? Can’t we trust Ranma?” Twilight asked.

“Well… I trust Ranma, sure. But that’s because Ranma stood up for me when Trixie tried to abandon me on the side of the road and put everything on the line to rescue you,” Spike mumbled, scratching his head. “I don’t think Princess Celestia can trust Ranma, though, because he keeps beating up her soldiers and committing arson.”

“The crimes were pardoned, Spike,” Twilight said firmly.

“Well, yeah, because if they weren’t he was just going to keep beating up soldiers,” Spike shrugged. “But I don’t think the Princess ever really thought that Ranma might not have done that stuff or that he deserved forgiveness. So…”

Twilight grimaced.

Then she heard a gentle rapping on the front door.

Twilight jumped out of her chair, rather relieved to have a distraction. “I’ll be right there!” she called out, her magic reaching for the door lock.

With a spark of telekinesis, the door swung open. Fluttershy sat in front of the threshold, and she smiled cautiously as Twilight approached.

“Oh, good morning Twilight! I, uhm, hope I’m not disturbing you…”

“No, no! Not at all!” the alicorn insisted. “Did you want to come in?”

“I’m, er, fine, that’s okay,” the meek pegasus replied. “Rarity just wanted me to stop by and ask if you wanted to join the rest of us at the spa today.”

“You’re going to the spa?” Twilight asked.

“Why yes, we are!” interrupted a third voice.

Twilight’s expression darkened somewhat when Discord suddenly leaned in so that he was visible through the doorway. The draconequus was wearing a towel cap already, and had a plastic bowl with several bottles and a rubber duck in it.

“Ah. Discord. So you’ll be joining us, huh?” Twilight asked, her tone flat.

“Oh yes, I will! I couldn’t pass up the chance to meet everypony’s newest acquaintance, Havoc!” Discord giggled just saying the name, his grin stretching from ear to ear. “I just KNOW we’ll be the best of friends!”

This actually surprised Twilight, and her ears perked up immediately. “What? He’s going too?”

Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. “Y-Yes. Rarity actually planned it for him, because… well, I don’t want to say because I think it was a little mean, honestly, but, uhm…” She stopped to clear her throat. “We don’t have an exact time yet, because Rarity needs to ask Applejack when Havoc will be available.”

“Okay, well I should be able to go too,” Twilight assured her.

“Lovely!” Discord cheered. “Oh, by the way: I found this little trinket of yours floating around outside.”

He ducked through the doorway, and then tossed an object to Twilight while walking past her. The young Princess recoiled, and her horn flashed purple to immobilize the object in the air.

“What? A ball?” Twilight asked, squinting at the silvery orb. “This isn’t mine.”

“Oh reeeeeeeally…” Discord flopped onto a seat, clasping his hands behind his head. “How interesting! I wonder who else would be spying on your neighbors?”

“Spying?!” Twilight’s eyes bugged out, and she pulled the object closer for inspection. Fluttershy gasped, covering her mouth with a wing. “You’re right! This is some kind of magic sentry! Where did you find this?”

“It was floating over Miss Lyra’s house,” Discord said, shrugging. “It would have been easy to miss - by design, of course - but I was busy constructing my own prank and it got in the way.” Then he started scratching at his beard. “I thought it was yours, as you’re the only pony who might have a legitimate reason to be planting spy constructs around town. But perhaps it was not so legitimate…”

Twilight grimaced. “This could be bad. I’ve seen magical sentries before when I was in school, but none of them were so… advanced. Whoever planted these really knows what they’re doing.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Do you think it was Blood Rite?”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe. But my first guess was the Royal Guard.”

Discord laughed. Twilight took a moment to glare at him, but then floated the sentry orb over to her saddlebags and placed it inside.

“I may have to confront the Generals about this, but first I want to run it by Ranma. Chances are that this has something to do with him, so he might have an idea where they came from. At the very least I should tell him about them.”

Discord stopped laughing, his eyes blinking rapidly. “Run it by… who?”

“She wants to show it to Havoc,” Fluttershy explained.

“Okay, but she said Ranma,” Discord said.

“Yes. Ranma is Havoc.” Twilight put on her saddlebags, and then shouted back toward the kitchen. “Spike, I’m going to Sweet Apple Acres! I should be back for lunch!”

The draconequus glanced between Twilight and Fluttershy. “Wait. Hold on. Time out.” He suddenly stood up from his seat. “We’re talking about a pony, right? A stallion named Havoc?”

“He’s not actually named Havoc,” Twilight said with a sigh. “And, well, technically he’s not actually a pony, either. But when you meet him you’ll be meeting a stallion who everypony calls Havoc, so whatever.”

She headed for the door, only for Discord to suddenly slide in front of her to block her path. “What does any of that mean?” he demanded.

Twilight frowned up at the draconequus, annoyed but also increasingly confused. Discord sounded oddly… serious about this. The smug, teasing tone he had employed when he’d first arrived was gone, replaced by genuine bafflement and… apprehension?

“Look, it’s a REALLY long story, and I don’t know all of the story because back when he first tried to explain it to me I assumed it was a bunch of insane lies or delusions. But the short version is that Ranma Saotome is from another world, which was apparently dominated by something called ‘hyoo-muhns.’ He ended up in this world thanks to the MacGuffin Stone, and then got turned into a pony by accident. Then Trixie started calling him Havoc and the name stuck. Can you move now? This sentry construct could be really important!”

Discord didn’t move. Instead, his jaw fell open, plummeting all the way to the floor.

Twilight stared. “So… do you happen to know anything about this, Discord?”

The Spirit of Chaos reached down and picked up his chin, pulling it up and setting it back into place. “Maybe.”

“That… didn’t really seem like a ‘maybe’ reaction,” Fluttershy mumbled, looking away.

“Look, either tell me what the problem is or I’ll be on my way,” Twilight huffed.

“The problem is… difficult to explain,” Discord admitted. “But suffice to say, if this not-really-pony is who you say he is, we should probably cancel the spa day.”

“What? Why?” Fluttershy asked, her ears flattening against her head. “Rarity and Pinkie Pie were really looking forward to it!”

“I’m sure they were, but bath time with Ranma Saotome has a way of ending with horrible violence,” Discord mumbled. “One way or another…”

“Are you saying he’s going to hurt us?” Twilight asked, a slightly angry edge to her voice.

“I don’t know, to be honest,” Discord admitted. “I haven’t heard the name Ranma Saotome in three-tenths of an eternity. And it’s not as if I’ve ever met him personally.” Then his own eyes narrowed down at Twilight. “But I can assure you that if what you say is true, then you truly have no idea who you’re dealing with, my little pony.”

“Ranma Saotome is eighteen years old. He was born as a male human in a place called Japan, on planet Earth. He is a pre-eminent martial artist on his world, claiming to be the best warrior there is. Although that statement is obviously subjective and warrants skepticism, I’ve witnessed him performing feats of nigh impossible strength and speed, and on two occasions he created a tornado as a melee weapon. He’s earnest and surprisingly credulous, but remains inexplicably suspicious about Princess Celestia raising and lowering the sun. He turns into a mare when exposed to cold water, and claims this is the result of some manner of curse inflicted on him in his own world, although it was somehow modified by the transmutation magic that turned him into a pony.” Twilight continued listing facts while she sat down in front of Discord, like she was reading bullet points off a list. “He’s a bit of glutton, generally relaxed about severe threats to his life, and is only fluent in the spoken - not written - form of Equish because it’s so close to something called ‘English’ from his own planet. He does not like cats. Finally, he ended up on our world due to some catastrophe in which he was trapped in the MacGuffin Stone by a doomsday cult, although he doesn’t know what happened after the trap was sprung. He hates Blood Rite and Swan Song because they were responsible for his transformation, and seeks to defeat them so that they can use the MacGuffin Stone to restore his body and, if possible, return him to his homeworld. He's otherwise fairly uninterested in the MacGuffin Stone, but at this point doesn't trust anypony else with it, a state of affairs that I'm rapidly warming up to. Especially given that he can somehow carry it without it being visible or using pockets. I don't think we're ever going to figure out how he does that.”

Discord didn’t respond at first, staring down at the alicorn blankly. “Okay, fine, so you have about ninety percent of an idea who you’re dealing with,” he admitted. “But still.”

“But still WHAT? What’s the problem, Discord?!” Twilight shouted, surprising the others with her intensity. “Getting this sort of reaction from Princess Celestia is one thing, but I’m not going to take any suspicions from you seriously without a clear and valid reason! Ranma Saotome is a friend! He saved my life! We fought a dragon together!” She stamped a hoof down on the floor, and Discord actually flinched slightly. “Either explain to me RIGHT NOW what you know and why it should matter to me, or get out of my way!”

The draconequus hesitated only a second, and then bowed his head. “As you wish, Princess.” Then he stepped out of her path.

Twilight snorted and trotted past him and out the door. “Honestly, I was hoping for you to explain what you knew about him, but this is fine too. Honestly, what is everypony’s problem with Ranma?”

“Well, if this Ranma is indeed the same as this Havoc fellow, I think a big part of the problem is how he keeps demolishing buildings,” Discord replied. “Isn’t that how you lost your tree?”

“It was an accident!” Twilight snapped. “Not only that, but it was MY accident! Ranma’s only complicity in that case was accepting my assistance and being subject to a magical condition he didn’t understand!”

“Okay, fair enough. What about all the other buildings?”

“Applejack’s barn was complete random chance! When you launch a draconic creature into the sky with an inexplicable cyclone, its descent arc is completely at the mercy of local wind currents! I don’t believe for a second that Ranma did that deliberately, and he was working to protect us in the first place!” Twilight continued.

“Uh huh…”

“Obviously, I can’t account for the other buildings that have allegedly been damaged during Ranma’s travels, but two structures were completely demolished within a single hour the first time he came to Ponyville. It’s hardly unreasonable to suspect that those demolitions were also accidents, or even deliberate acts of destruction on the part of his enemies. Ranma doesn’t just knock down buildings for fun,” the Princess continued lecturing while she walked.

“I’m not sure that’s any great comfort to their owners,” Discord mused.

“Like I said, I can’t speak for-“

Twilight suddenly froze, and then her head whipped around to glare at the Spirit of Chaos. “Why are you following me?” It hadn’t occurred to her until now, but she had left the doorway of her home a few minutes ago and yet Discord had been keeping pace with her all this time.

“Me? To meet Havoc, of course!” Discord laughed at the question. “You’ve said so many interesting things about him! How could I not?”

“I, uhm, would like to go too, if it’s not too much trouble,” Fluttershy added, peeking out from behind the draconequus. “Not that I need to meet Havoc, but, um, that’s where Rarity is anyway.”

Twilight frowned, her focus still on Discord. “And what are you going to do when you meet him? I still think you know something and you’re hiding it!”

“Well, DUH.” Discord rolled his eyes, hands clasped behind his back.

The young Princess honestly considered marching back home and sitting in her library until Discord left, but eventually discarded the idea as pointless. It wasn’t as if Ranma would be difficult to find without her help; if Discord wanted to meet the martial artist it was only a matter of whether he did so under Twilight’s supervision or not.

Besides, there’s a good chance Ranma might give him a swift kick upside the jaw. I wouldn’t want to miss that, she thought as she started walking down the road again.

Author's Note

Hey, look who came back to the exciting conclusion of the big-ish showdown! And then got a surprise deus ex machina! Ha! Bet you weren't expecting that!
Honestly, it probably seems like an anti-climax, but there's plot things afoot. BIG plot things!
See you next time!

Brave New World

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 9
Brave New World

“Did I really beat up this many soldiers last night? I feel like I didn’t!”

Ranma’s complaints went unheard as he trudged across the orchard. A medium-sized cart bounced along behind him, the interior rattling with a collection of spears, helmets, arrows, knives, and assorted pieces of scrap metal that were not obviously of civilian farmer origin. He had already searched the path he remembered taking through the orchard to escape the previous night, but a little bit of searching revealed that such discarded equipment was scattered to some extent throughout most of the orchard. Ranma wasn’t sure if this was simply because his escape had been more erratic and fiercely resisted than he remembered or if other circumstances of battle had caused them to abandon their gear in the middle of a farm, but either way the martial artist resented that they had left so much of their weaponry and armor behind.

He spotted another spear lodged into an apple tree, and a frustrated sigh emerged. “Look at this! Where the heck was this guy aiming? I was never this far from the farmhouse! Did they just start hurling spears at every shadow or what?”

Honestly, he couldn’t totally blame them if they had. Pursuing an agile, stealthy, and extremely dangerous opponent through the woods at dusk leant itself to a certain amount of paranoid terror. He COULD blame them for not picking up after themselves, though. He unhitched himself from the work wagon and walked up to the tree.

Ranma jumped up and landed on the haft of the spear, dislodging it from the bark of the apple tree. The polearm bounced after landing below him, and with a swipe of his leg Ranma tossed it atop the rest of the military detritus.

He hitched himself to the wagon again and started to leave, but then paused mid-step. Ranma glanced back at the tree, his eyes narrowed.

Then he relaxed and started heading out again. “Hi Rainbow Dash. I don’t suppose you saw any nets caught in the trees as you were headed over here, did you? Those things were pretty heavy, so I figure if any of them got caught in the branches or something the goons just left them behind.”

After a few seconds a rustling noise came from the tree. Rainbow Dash poked her head out and spat out some leaves before she addressed the martial artist with a pout. “Dang. What gave me away?”

“Nothing in particular. I’m actually kind of impressed I didn’t notice you right away. It’s not like you blend in.” Ranma caught a glint of metal and sighed, winding his wagon around toward the next blade that was scattered amongst the leaves. “Do you do martial arts?”

“Hay yeah, I do!” Rainbow bragged, swooping down and perching on the edge of the wagon. “Me and my friends get into plenty of scrapes of our own, ya know. Somepony has to protect them!” She reared up on her hind legs and did a few practice jabs with her forelegs, followed by a right hook with her wing.

Ranma watched out of one eye, fascinated. “That’s pretty neat. I don’t know much about the martial arts here in ponyland. I’ve fought lots of ponies, but, well… you guys don’t seem very good at it.”

“Most ponies don’t really LIKE fighting, obviously. And the ponies that do usually rely on magical stuff.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “But not me! I can handle myself just fine!”

Ranma smirked. There was a crossbow bolt on the ground in front of him, and he carefully placed a hoof under its edge while keeping one eye on the pegasus. “I’m sure you can take care of yourself… THINK FAST!”

A red blur streaked toward Rainbow Dash, and she reacted instantly, jumping and twisting in the air. “HIYAH!” Her hoof struck the object like she was spiking a volleyball, and bits of wet pulp splattered across her chest fur from the impact.

Rainbow Dash blinked, staring at the partially crushed fruit lying atop the pile of weapons. “What the… did you just throw an apple at me?”

“Well, yeah. I wasn’t going to throw an actual weapon. Come on,” Ranma scoffed, tossing the discarded crossbow bolt into the wagon. “Good reflexes, though!”

“Pff! I told you I can hold my own! I’ll bet I could even teach you a thing or two!” Rainbow smirked. “Especially when it comes to flying! Because - and I’m gonna go a little Element of Honesty here - your technique SUUUUUUUUCKS.”

Ranma hitched himself back to the wagon without saying anything, and then paused to rub his chin with a hoof. “Rainbow Dash. Rainbow. Rainchan? No… Rainbon? Meh…”

Rainbow perched on the wagon again and tilted her head to the side. “What are you doing?”

“Deciding on a nickname. Maybe Rainy? Nah...” He squinted at the pegasus, as if he was weighing her in his mind.

“Just call me Dash,” Rainbow said, waving a hoof at the stallion.

“Hmm… Okay. Dasshu it is.” Ranma turned back around.

“What? I said Dash,” Rainbow repeated.

“Yeah, so did I.”

“No you didn’t! You said it all weird!”

“Don’t sweat the small stuff, Dasshu.” Ranma smirked and started moving the cart through the orchard again.

“Is this your way of getting back at me for calling you Havoc?” Rainbow asked, pouting again.

“Nah. It’s not like you came up with the name,” the martial artist replied. “Although if it annoys you and it seems like I don’t care, THAT might be because you call me Havoc.”

Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry at Ranma, who kept smirking and walking through the orchard. There was a long pause in conversation as he sought out more arms and ammunition, and Rainbow watched him chuck a few more short swords into the wagon before she cracked a yawn.

“Hey, when are you gonna be done with this? It isn’t even a farm chore, really. Just trash collection,” Rainbow mumbled.

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t have a choice,” Ranma grumbled as he pressed on. “I’m pretty sure Jack is looking to get rid of me at the first excuse she gets, so I have to take this seriously!”

“Well, not at the first excuse, no. She had PLENTY of excuses before now. It took you, what, an hour to get into a fight in her barn?”

“Not helping, Dasshu.”

The pegasus slapped a hoof on the edge of the cart, stirring the pile of sharpened steel inside. “What say we take a break and get in some Calamity time?” she asked, grinning. “Give your wings a workout before Rarity drags us off to the spa!”

“Can’t. Working,” the martial artist replied curtly.

“Come onnnnnnn. It’ll be fun!” Rainbow pressed.

“It sounds like it. But I’m working,” Ranma said again.

“You really need to improve your flying if you’re going to be getting in any more aerial fights,” Rainbow mused, her lip quirking into a smirk. “You’d be a pegasus pancake if it weren’t for me and Twi, you know. Or maybe you’d rather just have us follow you around, in case you need saving? Does that work better for you?”

A vein popped up on Ranma’s head. He jerked his body suddenly to the left, and the wagon bounced sharply on one side, tossing Rainbow Dash into the air.

She rolled in a clean, graceful arc, clearing the wagon’s cargo bed and landing cat-like on the opposite edge. Rainbow Dash didn’t look disturbed in the slightest, and she took a moment to buff her hoof against her chest. “So that’s still a no, huh?”

“It’s still a no,” Ranma grumbled.

This reply annoyed Rainbow Dash far more than the attempt to bounce her onto the ground did. “I’ll bet you’re just sour at a mare being better at flying than you are! I can take it easy on you if you’re embarrassed!”

The vein throbbed harder, but Ranma just ducked his head down and kept going. “I have a JOB to do, Dasshu. I owe Jack, okay? I have to do this!”

“Don’t you also owe me?” Rainbow Dash huffed. “I left all my spare cash for Trixie because you begged us to!”

“Yeah. So if you have work for me later, then I’ll do that,” Ranma said, pausing to toss a crossbow into the wagon bed. “But right now I’m busy. I don’t want Jack mad at me before I’ve even cleaned up the garbage from last night.”

Rainbow Dash mulled over that statement for several minutes, laying on the edge of the wagon as Ranma patrolled the orchard.

Then, suddenly, inspiration struck.

“Hey, Havoc!” Rainbow barked, jumping up into the air. “I challenge you to a duel of honor!”

Ranma almost fell over out of sheer shock. Once he recovered from his double-take, he stared back at the pegasus incredulously. “You… want to fight ME?” he asked.

Ranma didn’t mean to suggest that Rainbow Dash was some kind of weakling that had no serious chance against him. After all, more than one equine had surprised him in a fight with their magical shenanigans, clever ploys, or sheer luck since he’d begun wandering Equestria. But every pony he’d fought so far had also overwhelmingly deserved a solid kick upside the head, or at least pressed Ranma to the point where he had little choice. He REALLY didn’t want to start getting into fights with the local ponies when he’d just been handed a pardon, especially one of the mares that he tentatively considered a friend.

Rainbow Dash, for her part, seemed to chew over his shocked reply for a few seconds. “Well… I guess it doesn’t have to be a FIGHTING duel. You ARE really good at kicking things. Taking you on like that would be like… if I challenged you to a race. It would just be unfair!”

Ranma blinked. “Me racing you wouldn’t be unfair. Well, not to me, at least.”

“Oh REEEEEEALLY?” Rainbow’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Then I guess a racing duel it is!”

“Dasshu, gimme a break!” Ranma complained, hanging his head. “I can’t turn down a challenge!”

“Well, yeah. I know. That’s why I did it,” Rainbow replied. Seeing his sulking expression, she got another idea. “I’ll tell you what: let’s make it interesting. If you beat me, then that debt of yours? It’s a wash. Whaddya say?”

The pigtailed stallion seemed surprised at the offer. “R-Really? And what if you win? I mean, you won’t, but… what if you did?”

“Then you… still have to pay me back, I guess.” Rainbow shrugged. “No fur off my nose.”

“I… wow. Really? I get something if I win, but nothing bad happens if I lose?” Ranma mumbled. “Usually it’s the other way around.”

“I mean, I guess I could make you bet the MacGuffin Stone on it…” Rainbow mused aloud, tapping a hoof against her chin. Ranma flinched, and then she grinned. “But who needs all that hassle? I just wanna see how good you really are if you push yourself.”

“Well… okay, fine.” Ranma shoved aside the wagon harness. “But just a quick race, all right? I don’t want to get in trouble over this!”

“Would you stop worrying? It’s gonna take me like a minute to embarrass you, and then you can go right back to collecting trash,” Rainbow taunted, stretching her wings straight up. “There’s a pond a little further to the West. Go get changed and come back!”

“Change? Why?” Ranma hopped a few times to limber up. “I’m not flying this race.”

“What? Seriously?” Rainbow asked. “You know I am, right? I’m not going to run grounded just to make it more fair.” She found this new development rather disappointing. While she was interested in a race for its own sake, the pegasus had been hoping to better gauge Ranma’s flight technique. Also, it was going to be much harder to show off when her opponent was separated by the tree cover.

“Why would I try to outfly you? We both know you’re better at it than I am,” Ranma admitted. “For now, anyway.” Then he looked back and forth. “So where’s the finish line?”

“Let’s use that pond I mentioned as a checkpoint!” Rainbow said, pointing in the indicated direction. “First one to touch the water and then make it back to the wagon wins!”

Ranma nodded sharply, and then stepped up next to Rainbow Dash. She lowered her profile, crouching low to the ground, and then spread her wings high.

“Ready? Three! Two! One… GO!!”

Ranma bolted forward like a loosed arrow, his hooves leaving divots in the earth. The trees of the orchard sped past in a blur, and the lowest-hanging branches quivered from the wind of his passing.

Up above the trees a rainbow streak cut through the air, unsettling the topmost leaves in equal measure. Rainbow Dash’s wings pumped furiously to propel her forward, and she briefly glanced up, working out in her head how many precious seconds she would lose ascending and then later descending to reach a more comfortable soaring altitude.

Briefly scanning the orchard below revealed a glimpse of gray between the branches. Ranma was, evidently, keeping pace with her over the ground. That much was impressive, but not surprising; Rainbow hadn’t hit her sub-rainboom top speed, and didn’t want to exhaust herself before the home stretch anyway. It did mean that she probably couldn’t give up any time for the sake of convenience, though.

The pegasus veered out of the way of an unusually tall apple tree, rolling in the air and tearing a few stray apples free in her passing. With that obstruction clear, the apple trees gave way to open grass plain underneath her, and Rainbow Dash spotted the pond ahead. Ranma burst from the trees right behind her, and then glanced up to judge his progress.

The ponies’ eyes met.

Rainbow Dash exulted in her slight lead, and then decided to risk it for a bit of showmareship. With a mighty flap of her wings she surged forward, and then pulled her wings and legs tight, arcing into a shallow dive. A risky move, considering how low and fast she was flying, to say nothing of the fact that she didn’t quite remember how deep the pond’s water was.

Just before she touched the surface, Rainbow suddenly rolled sharply, and the pegasus touched the water while spinning like a drill head. The pond split around her, creating a tremendous splash around a swirling cyclone of color, and incidentally scattering a family of ducks that had been swimming too close to her approach vector.

Rainbow Dash bounced up again near the edge of the water and shot into the air, spreading her wings in preparation for the return flight. She gave her head a quick shake to get the wet mane out of her eyes, and then looked down to check on her competitor.

Ranma reached the pond, and then his body was consumed by a blue flash. Rather than touching the water and veering away he ran straight into it at a mad gallop.

Or rather, right over it.

Ranma sped across the surface of the pond as surely as if it were dirt, leaving a trail of sparkling blue flares and mild ripples behind. He didn’t even splash enough water on himself to activate his curse, and in the blink of an eye the martial artist was on the other side. Then he kept running, leaping up toward a tree in the middle of the clearing and landing on it near the top. The entire tree shook from the force, and the trunk bent over with an ominous creak.

Rainbow Dash decided to stop watching and start flying again.

The tree snapped back, launching Ranma across the clearing like a catapult. He zipped past Rainbow - who was still accelerating after her brief pause - and then struck an apple tree at the edge of the clearing. Another blue flare of light bloomed from the impact, and the tree’s apples quivered and promptly rained to the ground. Ranma kicked off the tree and launched himself into another one, and then kicked off of that one as well.

The martial artist became a whistling, zig-zagging blue streak through the orchard, bouncing from one tree to another like a pinball striking a series of bumpers. Leaves and bark blasted from each impact like shrapnel, and apples tumbled to the dirt in his wake.

Finally, Ranma spotted his abandoned wagon ahead. With a wordless shout, the stallion landed on the ground in a full sprint, his aura still pulsing around him and after-images trailing a jet stream of leaves and upturned dust.

He shifted his path alongside the wagon, and his hoof lashed out to tap the side even as he dug his hooves into the ground. Ranma’s aura winked out and he screeched to a stop, digging a short furrow through the dirt that carried him past the finish line.

Then he whirled around, a wide grin on his face. “Ha! Made it! I win!” he shouted into the sky, searching for any sign of his colorful opponent.

He found none. Granted, the trees were dense enough here to obscure much of the sky, and his senses were still a bit off-kilter from ricochet-kicking his way back, but he was pretty sure that Rainbow Dash should only be a few seconds behind him.

“Did she… get lost? Or… strain a wing, maybe? Can that happen? Is she okay?” He walked past the wagon again, his eyes still scanning the sky above. “HEY!! DASSHU!! WHAT’S WRONG?!” He shouted, cupping his hooves around his muzzle. “DID YOU RUN INTO A TREE OR SOMETHING?!”

Then he felt a feather-tip brush over his back. “Havoc! You made it!”

Ranma yelped, jumping up high enough to turn completely around by the time he landed. Rainbow Dash was leaning over the edge of the wagon bed, giggling into a hoof.

“Where did… How are… When did you…” Ranma stumbled over his words, pointing a foreleg at the pegasus accusingly.

“Did you miss me on your way in? Sorry about that. Got tired of waiting for you and laid down for a nap,” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk. “Good try, though!”

It was hard to take her taunts seriously. Her casual tone was spoiled from being completely out of breath. Her chest heaved, her mane was stuck to her neck and forehead with sweat, and her wings were extended and slowly moving to keep the muscles from cramping. Obviously she had made it to the finish line before he had, but she looked like she'd pushed herself to her limit to do so. Ranma felt could have run the entire circuit again and probably matched his first time.

That was some comfort to the martial artist, but not much. He fumed silently while Rainbow smirked at him, and then sat down in a huff. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. That’s what I get for taking it easy on you.”

“I’m sure you say that to all the mares who beat you,” Rainbow teased, gingerly stepping out of the wagon and dropping to the ground. She had been joking about taking a nap, of course; even landing on a pile full of weapons had been quite uncomfortable, and she almost cut herself trying to hide and set up this entertaining ruse. “But hey! You did good! I almost had to hit rainboom speed back there to make it ahead of you! Not just anypony can say that!”

“Yes, FINE. I get it,” the pigtailed stallion groused. “Whatever. You won’t win next time.”

“Next time?” Rainbow asked, her ears perking up. “You already planning a rematch, Havoc?”

“What, you didn’t think I was just going to take a loss and then scurry away with my tail between my legs, did you?” Ranma asked. He stepped closer, and his expression finally broke into a smile. “You DID challenge me to a duel of honor, after all. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“I don’t think it’s going to be great for your reputation to lose to me over and over again, but I like your attitude!” Rainbow taunted, stepping forward so that they were almost nose-to-nose. “Any time, any place, Havoc. That’s a promise!”

“Havin’ fun on yer break, Ah see.”

Ranma and Rainbow recoiled at the sound of Applejack’s voice, and then quickly whirled around. The farmer was standing several feet away with a very displeased expression and a vein bulging on the side of her head. Behind her stood Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight, who were watching the encounter with intense interest.

“Jack! Hi! Uh… Look! Look at all the weapons I cleaned up!” Ranma said, sweating slightly and gesturing to the wagon bed. “I think that’s all of them! I retraced my tracks from last night three time already!”

Applejack approached wordlessly, and then stopped to size up the pile of blades, polearms, nets, and dented helmets. “That’s quite a heap o’ scrap.”

“I know! There was a lot! I didn’t think I took out this many ponies last night!” Ranma stopped and coughed self-consciously. “Er… sorry again about getting your farm invaded.”

Applejack didn’t reply immediately, rearing up against the side of the wagon to get a better view of the bed and its contents. “So which of these things put all them holes in mah trees?”

“Holes? What holes?” Ranma asked, tilting his head to the side.

Applejack dropped back down, and then wordlessly pointed a foreleg up over Ranma’s head.

Ranma turned around, and then sucked in a breath through his teeth. The stretch of orchard he and Rainbow Dash had been using for their race track was a mess, with a trail of churned earth and fallen apples scattered on the ground. The apples would have been bad enough, certainly, as the crops weren’t ripe enough to be harvested, but that was not all: as Applejack had said, several of the trees had shallow divots carved into their trunks within patches of stripped bark, obviously as a result of Ranma kicking off of them at maximum speed. Calling them “holes” was disputable, but Ranma didn’t really want to argue about the extent of the damage.

Rainbow Dash groaned at the sight of the trees, and then clenched her jaw when she saw Ranma’s ears flip down. “Aw, geez. Sorry about that,” she interjected. “That was my bad.”

Ranma flinched in surprise. Applejack turned a hesitant glare on the pegasus.

“YOU did that? How?” the farmer asked suspiciously.

Ranma started to speak, but Rainbow talked right over him. “Not sure! I didn’t quite go Rainboom back there because I was flying too low. Guess I came a little too close though, huh? Heh!” She chuckled and knocked her head with her hoof. “Anyway, it was definitely me who damaged your trees. And it was me who challenged Havoc to a race in the first place. Oops!”

Applejack scowled. “Well Ah guess there ain’t nothin’ fer it now, but keep yer shenanigans outside mah property, y’hear?! Ah don’t want Havoc slackin’ off on the job, an’ Ah don’t want ya tearing up mah crops! That clear?”

“Crystal!” Rainbow said brightly, briefly turning to Ranma and winking at him.

The martial artist found himself at a loss for words, and not just because it was convenient and pertinent to remain silent. He shuffled his hooves nervously as the mares’ attention shifted to him fully.

“Well, Ah ain’t here just to check up on ya. Rares and Flutters wanted to know when ya were free to have yer spa treatment,” Applejack said. “If yer done with the weapons, then ya can clean up those fallen apples and then head out.”

Ranma frowned. “Oh, okay… So what’s Sparks and the weird monster here for, then?”

“Weird monster?! Why, I NEVER!”

Rainbow Dash jumped in surprise at the voice, having failed to spot Discord before he joined the conversation. The draconequus approached her and Ranma from behind, hands clasped behind his back. Ranma glanced over at him, but then turned back to Applejack and the other ponies.

Twilight couldn’t help but smirk. “Ranma Saotome, this is Discord. Discord, this is Ranma Saotome, more commonly known as ‘Havoc’ and less commonly known as ‘Calamity.’ Discord is the Spirit of Chaos, and an ancient tyrant that we… well, convinced to be less tyrannical. Ranma is a human trapped in a pony’s body who was the most wanted criminal in all of Equestria up until last night.”

“Fascinating,” Discord said, walking a circuit around Ranma.

“So am I supposed to beat this thing up, or what?” Ranma asked, narrowing his eyes at Discord.

“Beat him up? Why?” Rarity asked.

“I dunno, that’s why I’m asking,” the martial artist said. “I’m getting a real bad ‘end boss’ vibe here, but I want to be sure.”

“Yes, well… Discord can be difficult, but he isn’t evil, so there’s no need for violence. Yet.” Twilight gave Discord a warning glare. “However, I believe he knows something about your world.”

“What?! Really?” Ranma whirled toward the ancient creature, his expression filling with hope. “You can help me go home?!”

“Ha ha ha ha ha! No!” Discord said, guffawing and slapping his knee.

Ranma’s ears immediately flipped down. “Oh. So what do you know about my world, then?”

“Oh, this and that. I’m a big fan of humanity, actually! They were such FUN!” Discord said, still observing Ranma closely.

Discord circled around to stand in front of the martial artist, and then carefully took hold of Ranma’s jaw and pulled it open, peering at his teeth. Ranma found the inspection unsettling and more than a little demeaning, but he waited patiently until the draconequus let go of him.

“Remarkable. He really is a pony. On the outside, at least.” Discord stood up straight, his lips stretching into an even bigger grin. “But under the surface you’re far more than that, aren’t you?”

Ranma didn’t really know what to say to that, but Twilight trotted up to him, placing herself between him and Discord. “Yes, we know. He’s a human. We went over this.”

“I’m not talking about something as simple as his animal heritage,” Discord mused. “Don’t you see it? This creature BLEEDS magic, yet he couldn’t so much as light a candle with it! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“Is that bad? That sounds bad,” Fluttershy fretted.

“It’s certainly not good,” Discord shrugged. “But aside from the casual offers of violence, he seems perfectly sane. I’m impressed! He’s nothing like I expected!”

“What did you expect?” Rarity asked. “Didn’t you just hear about Ranma today?”

“I expected a monster, of course. A creature tortured by curses and haunted by the fate of his fallen people. A being that had ended the old world, and had been unleashed to ravage the new one. You know: someone like me, but without a sense of humor.” Discord laughed. “He turned out to be far more interesting, though! To think, the Ancient Shapers spoke in terrified whispers of this! A hapless wanderer suffering from one too many curses and trapped in the wrong body! HA!”

All the ponies were more confused than ever by now, but none more so than Ranma himself. “Whoa, wait, what are you even talking about? What ‘old world?’ Are you talking about Earth?”

“Of course! Didn’t you know why you were trapped in the MacGuffin Stone to begin with? What did you THINK happened after that?” Discord giggled.

“You know what happened to his world and how he got here? Really?” Twilight asked skeptically. “This isn’t just a long and elaborate joke?”

Discord rolled his eyes. “It can be both.”

Ranma’s face was twisted into an expression of confusion and dread. He understood the implications of what Discord had said, but he wanted to hear it straight. “What happened to Earth, then? And how did I end up on this planet?”

“I COULD tell you… or I can simply SHOW you!” Discord raised his lion-arm over his head and snapped his fingers.

“Here we arrrrre!” Discord sang after he appeared in a flash of light.

Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash stumbled in surprise at the sudden change in location and quickly looked around. They had arrived on a beach somewhere, with a great expanse of ocean on one side and a short cliff face opposite the water.

“What is this? Where are we?” Twilight asked. There were certainly no signs of civilization on the beach itself, and the space above the cliff was overrun with jungle. There was, however, something else further down the water line, and while she didn’t know what it was it certainly didn’t look natural. “What is THAT?”

Discord snickered while the mares stared. They were still some way away, but the object looked to be the top of some long-buried statue. It was difficult to make out any more than that, as it had been covered over with layers of dirt and stone and punctured at multiple points by the elements. What was probably the head seemed to be wearing some kind of crown with large, triangle-shaped spikes, and another section of the construct stretched up into the air above it, holding something aloft.

“It’s quite a mysterious artifact, isn’t it?” Discord asked, grinning with his arms crossed over his chest. “Shall we get a little closer for a better look, Havoc?”

Ranma didn’t answer.

Discord waited a few more seconds, and then turned around. “What, you don’t answer to that anymore? It’s a little late now, buddy.” He scanned the confused ponies, and then his expression fell. “Huh. Where’d he go?”

The mares looked about some more in confusion, and then suddenly Twilight’s eyes went wide. “WAIT!! Did you just try to teleport him?!”

Discord blinked. “… Yes? So? Why, does he get conjuration sickness?”

The other ponies gasped. Applejack’s jaw fell open, and Rainbow Dash slapped a hoof against her face.

“Oh dear. Uhm, Discord, you see, Havoc has this condition…” Fluttershy mumbled, her ears folding against her head.

“So he DOES have conjuration sickness? Because I literally made that up just now.”

“Not quite,” Rarity sighed. “The poor dear has a magic allergy.”

Discord tilted his head sharply to the side. “That’s hardly any different from the thing I just made up, which is not actually a thing, because - and I stress this point - I was being facetious.”

“Stop yappin’ and send us back!” Applejack shouted. “He could be in trouble!”

The draconequus didn’t really understand the concern, but with a shrug he raised his hand into the air again. “Too bad. This reveal would have been HILARIOUS.”

He snapped his fingers, and again they vanished in a flash.

Again, the ponies glanced about in distress and confusion as Discord’s teleport deposited them in unfamiliar territory. Unlike before, they quickly ascertained exactly where they were. They were on Sweet Apple Acres, in the middle of Applejack’s orchard. Discord had, evidently, returned them to the exact respective locations from whence they had left.

The confusion was due to the face that a considerable expanse of the apple orchard immediately below and around them had been replaced by a massive, blackened crater.

“Okay, so somepony’s going to have to explain this to me because I am stumped,” Discord confessed, twisting his head around to look at the devastation. Even the trees that hadn’t been completely demolished by the explosion were badly scorched on the sides exposed to the epicenter, with their branches stripped free of leaves and fruit.

Applejack’s legs wobbled, and she slumped to the ground with an expression of horror on her face. Rainbow Dash gave a low whistle. Twilight shouted something unintelligible and started looking around in a panic while Fluttershy quietly scanned the sky above. As all her friends seemed occupied, Rarity sighed and answered Discord’s question.

“As I said, he has a magic allergy. Magic spells don’t affect him the way they should. Well, most of them, at least. Teleport being a prime example,” the snow-white unicorn explained sadly.

Discord blinked. Then he looked around at the crater. Then he scratched his head. “Did I just kill Ranma Saotome?” he wondered aloud.

“Nah. He’ll be fine. The guy’s practically indestructible,” Rainbow Dash assured him. Then she beckoned to Applejack. “I’m off the hook for the damage to the apple trees now, right? I mean the dumb race hardly matters with a giant hole punched in your orchard.”

“DASH!!” Twilight and Applejack snapped simultaneously, glaring at the cyan pony.

“What? The last time he stopped by he blew up your home AND got chased through the farm by a monster AND got flung into the air by a tornado. I’m telling you guys, you’re stressing out for nothing,” Rainbow scoffed.

“I don’t know about that. This blast crater is… quite a bit bigger than Twilight’s former domicile,” Rarity mumbled anxiously. “And if Ranma DID survive, where is he?”

“Incoming,” Fluttershy mumbled.

Ranma hit the ground at a slight angle, striking behind the others and digging a furrow through the ground with his head. Black puffs of smoke trailed after him, marking his travel arc through the air and leaving an ashen shroud around his landing point.

“Ow,” the martial artist volunteered.

“TOLD YOU,” Rainbow Dash said smugly.

Twilight bit her tongue, electing to rush to the stallion’s side rather than snapping at Rainbow again. Discord followed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully while observing the curled-up equine body.

“He looks quite healthy for someone who…” Discord paused to glance around, “who endured whatever exactly happened here. Did he explode?”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” Ranma grunted weakly, his rear leg twitching. “I think I’ll stay here for a few minutes, if that’s okay…”

Twilight grimaced as she circled the martial artist, looking more pained than he did. She hated feeling this helpless, with a dozen normally useful spells on the tip of her horn but held back under the infuriating knowledge that every one of them was likely to make things worse. “We don’t actually know the precise physics behind his allergy detonations. Obviously the explosion origin isn’t inside him, or necessarily on a consistent point of contact. But anyway the important point is DO NOT USE MAGIC ON RANMA, as it will generate a randomized arcane result instead of the intended effect!” She sat down suddenly, rubbing her head with her hoof. “Of course I PROBABLY should have mentioned that earlier, when I was going over all the things I knew about him. Perhaps this could have been avoided.”

“Oh, no, there’s no chance of that,” Discord assured her. “I would have tried to magic him anyway just to see what would happen.” As the mares glared at him, he looked up at the sky thoughtfully. “What do you think would happen if I used a spell to make him explode?”

“I’m pretty sure that would create the effect where I kick you in the head over and over,” Ranma grumbled.

“Discord, if you’re not going to help, just leave Ranma alone!” Twilight snapped. “He’s been through enough already!”

“Why so prickly, Princess? This is incredible!” Discord laughed, clapping his hands. “A fragment of a lost world, a legendary warrior, is hurled to us through time! Plots and counter-plots and the odd sex-starved dragon are all ruined for having crossed paths with it! And to round it out this wonderful anomaly can twist the most timid or powerful of magics alike into absolute CHAOS! Aren’t you excited? I’m excited!”

“Ah ain’t EXCITED at havin’ mah orchard torched acre by acre fer yer amusement,” Applejack seethed.

“Oh, fine. You’re such a bore. HAVE your silly little trees.”

Discord casually snapped his fingers, and in a flash of light the ponies found themselves surrounded by Sweet Apple Acres’ bountiful orchard once more. The crater was gone, and the ground under their hooves was once more firm, undisturbed ground. The trees surrounding them were free of any apparent damage, including the gouges that Rainbow Dash had allegedly caused. The only disturbance that still remained, in fact, was Ranma himself, and the long gouge through the dirt he had made on impact with the ground.

Applejack was stunned, her expression slowly turning into a hopeful smile. “Yah… Yah fixed it? Really?”

“Really. No harm, no foul!” the draconequus said with a toothy grin.

Big Macintosh bolted into action, a frightened squeak escaping his seldom-used lips. A quick and hopefully-not-too-rough shove of his hoof sent Winona rolling into the barn, yelping in surprise. He reached down and bit onto Apple Bloom’s bow, snatching her off the ground and prompting a noise not unlike that from the family pet.

He barely made it into the barn before the first spear plunged into the ground right behind him, fully embedding its lethally sharp head into the dirt. The second spear embedded itself into the barn wall, the third and fourth hit the ceiling, and then a firm, rhythmic patter, like the sound of heavy raindrops, started falling against the structure. It was accompanied by the sight of shuriken blades and throwing knives slicing halfway through the wooden wall to poke their gleaming edges into the barn interior.

Swords, halberds, crossbow bolts, arrows, daggers, damaged helmets and maces battered the barn walls while Big Mac protectively shielded his sister and their dog, waiting for the deadly storm to end. And soon enough it did; but not before a familiar wagon smashed into the ground immediately in front of the barn entrance, breaking apart in an explosion of shattered timbers and twisted nails.

"Yes! Nopony at all was hurt! Except for Havoc, technically!"

Ranma slowly pushed himself off the ground, feeling his bones creak from the effort. Twilight fretted wordlessly, darting back and forth and looking like she wanted to help push him up but was afraid that even the lightest touch could hurt him. It was adorable, really.

“So ANYWAY,” the martial artist grumbled, turning to glare up at Discord again. “What were you going on about before? Do you know what happened to Earth or not?”

“Yes, I do. Although I really hate to divulge it outside of a humorous reference. It’s not that funny on its own,” Discord sighed.

“I don’t care! Just spill it! What happened to my planet?!” Ranma demanded.

“Exactly what you’d expect happened to it. It was destroyed,” Discord said with a resigned shrug. “A whacky death cult trapped you within the all-powerful artifact, went about their ritual, and obliterated human civilization.”

Ranma stared at the draconequus, his expression frozen; not disbelieving, nor resigned or disturbed. Discord snapped his fingers, and suddenly a series of scribbly colored circles appeared in the air, as if someone had drawn over reality with crayons.

“This is the solar system as you no doubt remember it,” Discord said, gesturing to the big, yellow circle with a spiked fringe. It was in the middle of all the other circles, which were all slowly floating around it. “All the planets swinging merrily through space at high speed around the sun as they had for billions of years! But with a little black magic, powered by the world’s most dangerous curse magnet…”

He snapped his fingers again, and the sun started shaking and then swinging back and forth. The closest shape - a bright orange circle that no doubt represented Mercury - collided with the star and was completely consumed, vanishing in a puff of disturbingly real smoke. Pluto, a blue dot orbiting at the outer edge of the image, wobbled and then flew off-course, vanishing among the apple trees. Soon the entire system was a mess, with planets being pulled closer or breaking away farther while the sun zig-zagged across space.

“Some random cult did THIS?” Twilight gasped.

“Well, yes. You shouldn’t be so surprised; your teacher uses the same magic every day.” Seeing the startled gasp from the mares, Discord chuckled. “What? Did you really think that the spell to raise and lower the sun was some grand act of long-range levitation? It’s an ancient and terrible incantation, developed to nurture or end life as we know it. We’re fortunate enough that our benevolent Princess firmly prefers the former, but she was not the first to possess this magic, and if certain ponies have their way she won’t be the last, either.”

The strange projection suddenly zoomed in on Earth as the sun flew by alarmingly close, and then the crudely-drawn circle of aqua suddenly burst into flames. Real flames, at that; the ponies flinched away from the sudden heat, and their expressions turned to horror at the smell of burning wax.

“And so ended Earth,” Discord said sadly, staring down at the flames with his arms clasped behind his back. “At least, so ended Earth as you knew it. Eventually the orbit came to be controlled and the world was slowly restored to some semblance of its former, vibrant glory. I won’t bore you with the details, but it just so happens that the reference materials used in the rebuilding effort was less Encyclopedia Britannica and more 2nd Edition Monster Manual.”

“Wait, wait, wait! You’re saying… our planet… is actually HIS planet?” Rainbow asked, pointing a hoof at Ranma and gaping.

“Well how did you THINK the MacGuffin Stone ended up here?” Discord asked. “Scooped up by hidden space aliens escaping Armageddon and then discarded on some random backwater planet with the rest of the trash? No,” he snorted. “They mostly just made off with the comics and pornography. Although to be fair, most of it WAS from Japan.”

He snapped his fingers again, and the magic projection winked out of sight, leaving the ponies with only the smell of fire and the disturbed, unsettled feeling that comes from watching someone illustrate planetary genocide like a foal’s bedtime story.

Ranma sat down heavily, his eyes unfocused and staring at nothing. Twilight considered the martial artist very easy to read, but at the moment she could only guess at what he was feeling.

“If… If all that is… true,” Ranma said, his words coming uncertainly to his lips. “Then that… means…”

“Yes,” Discord nodded somberly. “All of your loved ones are gone.”

“… BOTH of them?” Ranma asked, his voice cracking in distress.

All the mares gave him curious looks at that, but only Applejack proved tactless enough to ask what they were all wondering. “Ya only had two loved ones?”

“Yes!” Ranma paused, glancing at the ground. “Well… okay, more like one and a half.”

“Did you not get along with one of your parents?” Fluttershy asked tenderly.

Ranma looked confused. “What do my parents have to do with anything?”

Discord laughed and slapped his knee, which earned him more annoyed and disgusted glares from the ponies. Then he suddenly straightened up and coughed into his fist. “And that, unfortunately, is the story of your home planet, Havoc. You’re already here, so you cannot return there. It is extremely unlikely you will ever see a human being again, and to the extent the possibility exists it mostly involves you finding a way to shake off this polymorph deal and using a mirror.”

“Discord!” Twilight hissed through her teeth. “Could you TRY to be a little more sensitive and quit cracking jokes?!”

“I could, yes, but I doubt it would work,” the ancient spirit admitted.

Ranma didn’t seem to be listening, staring off into nothing again. Most of the other ponies didn’t know what to say, but Applejack calmly approached the pigtailed stallion and placed a hoof on his shoulder.

“Hey, why doncha take five fer now? Head back to the house fer a little while. Maybe take a nap. Ah’ll come get ya when Ah need somethin’ important done,” the farmer said firmly.

Ranma’s stare finally focused, meeting Applejack’s eyes. “Uh… yeah. Okay. That sounds good,” he mumbled, slowly turning around. “… Thanks.”

“Yer welcome. Just take yer time and get yer head straight,” Applejack said while he slowly walked away.

Rarity waited until Ranma’s backside was well outside of earshot before she sighed. “Well, so much for spa day. I’m glad I didn’t make the appointment yesterday after all. The poor dear could use a little tender care and pampering, honestly, but I doubt he’s in the mood.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Discord scoffed. “You don’t get to be a font of chaos and destruction on that scale without learning to walk off the odd massacre and expedite the grieving process a little.”

“You’re a jerk, you know that?” Rainbow grumbled. “You should have told us, and let US break it to him!”

“Naw, as much as Ah hate to admit it, Ah think Havoc was better off gettin’ it straight from the source with no sugarcoatin’,” Applejack said, her expression grim. “Havin’ some experience mahself with sudden loss of family…” She took a moment to adjust her hat. “’Course, me’n Mac had a farm to deal with at the time. Ah don’t know what Havoc aims t’do now that he knows he ain’t gettin’ back home.”

“Well, I imagine you don’t want him as a permanent houseguest,” Rarity said wryly.

“I doubt you’d even want him as a permanent Equestrian, honestly,” Discord murmured.

This got him another round of hostile and/or baffled looks.

“Why wouldn’t we? What’s wrong with Havoc?” Rainbow asked.

“Didn’t you just say that he WASN’T the sort of destructive monster you expected?” Twilight demanded.

“I did say that. And he isn’t! At least, not on purpose.” Discord chuckled, leaning over and patting Twilight on the head condescendingly.

“And what’s THAT supposed to mean?” the Princess snapped.

Discord seemed amused at the question. “Did you miss the part where he demolished an impressive slice of the farm by accident? Don’t get me wrong; I thought it was hilarious! But it seems like the sort of thing you’d try to keep to a minimum in the interest of harmony and friendship and whatnot.”

“That was YER fault!” Applejack complained.

“I certainly played a decisive role in that little blunder, yes. Which is why I fixed it,” Discord admitted. “But if I remember correctly there were a great many other explosive incidents our long-lost friend has been involved in, and surprisingly few of them involve me.”

“Would you stop teasing us and get to the point?” Rainbow growled, hovering before the draconequus and jabbing a hoof at him. “What are you trying to say?! Is Havoc secretly evil? Is the MacGuffin Stone going to destroy the world again if we don’t get it from him? WHAT?! Because if you’re just going to tell us that Havoc is bad luck or that having him around will lead to him destroying Canterlot or something, Trixie already tried it and we already proved her wrong!”

Discord didn’t answer right away, looking up at the sky thoughtfully and scratching at his goatee. Applejack and Rainbow Dash got tired of waiting after several seconds and turned away, ready to depart without waiting for the Spirit of Chaos.

“If I had to put it in laypony’s terms…” Discord said, stopping the mares short. “He’s not going to harm you directly, no. He won’t even harm your property, necessarily. But he will absolutely destroy your destiny.”

“Mah what now?” Applejack asked, exasperated.

Rainbow Dash just laughed. “Our destiny? Really? What a bunch of hay!” Twilight and Rarity seemed less sure, giving the draconequus a scrutinizing stare.

“It’s true. While Ranma Saotome can, obviously, reduce a pony’s future to a brief stint in the local Intensive Care Unit if he so chose, he tends not to do that. He even seems, on balance, generally benevolent in his application of brute force! But wild brawls are hardly his only contribution to disrupting Equestria’s general order and welfare. He never sought to harm Canterlot, much less overthrow Celestia’s rule. Yet his acts of interference soon eclipsed the efforts of those ponies who did! Isn’t that HYSTERICAL?!”

The draconequus started laughing, although none of the mares joined him. Twilight looked perturbed, while Applejack, Rarity, and particularly Rainbow Dash looked annoyed and skeptical. Fluttershy simply paid polite attention.

“Applejack,” Discord said suddenly, pointing both his hands at the farmer, “tell me: have you ever lost so many trees in so little time as when Havoc was in town?”

“… No, Ah don’t think so,” Applejack said, furrowing her brow. “But ya brought the last batch back, so it ain’t so bad. And Ah lose plenty o’ apples in other ways. We get by,” she said firmly, nodding.

“Yes, you do. Barely. Budgeting a farm and a family is difficult work, isn’t it?” Discord shook his head sadly. “How much harder would it be with the occasional explosion gutting a section of your farm? Could you make up the shortfall? Do you think the harvesting season could survive another invasion of your land by the Equestrian Army? What about a roving gang of criminals seeking revenge? Or perhaps a firestorm rushing through your precious trees to serve the arcane plot of an angry sorcerer…”

Applejack scowled. “Yeah, fine. That’d be bad. Real bad. Ah’d have to sell the farm then. So what?”

Discord stepped over next to her, bending down so that his long, serpentine body was folded over. “SO give him another week or two as a houseguest, and where do you think you’ll be? You’ll still be alive, surely. You’ll still have your family. I imagine Havoc would go to tremendous lengths to ensure it, in fact. You might not even collapse into total, abject poverty! But I hardly think you’ll still have your farm. Your legacy, your future wrought into the fur of your rear end by the claws of fate, will be dust and ash in his wake. What would you do then, Applejack? I’m sure Havoc would have some ideas, if you don’t!”

Discord stood up and cackled some more, while Applejack huffed and turned away.

“Yes, Discord. Tumultuous events often disrupt ponies’ lives, and higher-magnitude events tend to happen around Ranma. Including explosions. Basic causality. Fine. That hardly proves that he destroys ponies’ destiny.” Twilight said wearily.

“Well, of course it doesn’t. How could I prove something like that? It’s not even deliberate! It’s rather insidious that way, don’t you think?” Discord chuckled, sliding up to the alicorn and hanging an arm over her withers. “I snap my fingers to turn a few ponies into twisted, hateful mirrors of their true selves, and you imprisoned me in stone for it! Havoc leads a trail of destruction across the countryside for months and you turned against the Royal Guard to protect him! I love it!”

“I’ve heard enough of this,” Rainbow Dash groused. “See you guys later.” Without waiting for a farewell, she zipped away into the air, leaving a shimmering trail of rainbows behind her.

“Yeah, Ah’m with Dash,” Applejack said, walking away toward the farmhouse. “Ah was more worried than anypony else ‘bout takin’ him in, but just ‘cause Havoc tends to get into trouble don’t mean he’s some ‘font of chaos’ or whatnot. Hogwash.”

Discord stood up and waved to the departing farmer. “I’m glad you’re all taking this so well! I was a bit worried when you told me that Ranma Saotome had not only been delivered to this era, but to this very village! But so far this has been DELIGHTFUL!”

Twilight grimaced. “I can’t claim it’s been easy or… harmonious, certainly. But I believe that I’ve done the right thing, and so far so has he. Mostly.”

“And with every step you take on that fitful path of conscience, fate unravels a little further,” Discord mused, his voice suddenly somber. Then he giggled and rubbed his hands together, instantly ruining the foreboding effect of his words. “Ooh, I have SO MANY ideas! Fluttershy, let’s go to the spa anyway! I need to look my best tonight!” He turned directly toward Ponyville and started strolling away, his long, serpentine tail happily swishing back and forth.

“Oh, uh, okay,” the pegasus mumbled, giving Rarity and Twilight a questioning look while she started after the draconequus.

“Go ahead, darling. I’m not quite in the mood for more small talk with our resident chaos spirit. Next time,” Rarity said wryly. Fluttershy nodded anxiously and then picked up the pace, rushing after Discord and out of earshot.

“… Well, I suppose I should get home too. I’m very skeptical of this anti-destiny theory, but maybe I have a book on the subject that can help contextualize the claim,” Twilight mumbled. She turned around and started heading in the direction of the farmhouse.

Rarity moved to join her, although the seamstress was still staring in the direction Discord and Fluttershy had gone.

“Do you really think it’s that absurd?” the unicorn finally asked.

“What? That Applejack might not be a farmer if her farm is destroyed? Of course it’s not. But that’s not the case Discord was making,” Twilight said. “Not to mention that his example was hypothetical; Applejack’s farm - despite suffering considerable damage recently - has not been destroyed, and she has not stopped being a farmer. Ranma has not yet managed to ruin her foreseeable future simply from living with her. And to my knowledge, the only pony who that HAS happened to is Trixie!”

Rarity blinked repeatedly while following next to Twilight. “Oh? What do you mean? I heard they were traveling together and had a sudden falling out, but I didn’t hear the details…”

“Trixie has…” Twilight trailed off, her expression turning frustrated. “… Changed,” she murmured after a long pause to think. “I can’t articulate exactly how she’s changed or why, but it was obvious enough to me that I noticed immediately while talking to her only briefly after I tracked down her and Ranma.”

“Changed in personality?”

“Yes. Well… kind of? Trixie’s always been temperamental and overconfident, but in Lancanter it simply felt more… REAL.” Twilight lowered her head, grimacing. “She argued with me and talked over me like I was nopony special and what I had to say didn’t really matter. Not to say I AM somepony special and everypony needs to submit to my requests, but it WAS objectively important, at least! And then, after she found the ruins of her wagon… she…”

The young Princess trailed off once again, staring off into space. Dried leaves and sticks cracked gently underhoof as she trekked through the orchard, and Rarity patiently followed in silence waiting for her to continue.

Eventually, Twilight shook her head. “Maybe I’m imagining things. It’s not like I know Trixie all that well. But I never would have guessed the unicorn I saw in Lancanter was a stage magician. So if that’s the best example we have, then I don’t think there’s anything to Discord’s theory at all.”

“Well, I don’t know if it’s a better example than Trixie, but there’s also you,” Rarity said.

Twilight nearly tripped over her own hooves in surprise. “M-Me? What? How?!” She didn’t mean to sound quite so defensive, and Rarity recoiled at her tone.

“You don’t think you’ve changed?” Rarity asked cautiously. “What with your library destroyed and the covert journeys across Equestria in pursuit of a troublesome stallion?”

Twilight didn’t know what to say. The idea hadn’t even occurred to her. “What… What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”

“No! Well… Not really,” Rarity hedged. “But I was more than a little surprised to hear that you ventured out into the Equestrian countryside just after Princess Celestia warned you about a new dire threat seeking to capture a Princess. And then asked Celestia to pardon a wanted criminal. And then went to bring the criminal back to Ponyville when she refused. And then, well, helped the criminal against the ponies trying to capture him.”

“What’s wrong with any of that?” Twilight asked, sounding distressed. "Under the circumstances it was the right thing to do, wasn't it?"

“Well I’m not going to say that you shouldn’t follow your conscience even if it leads to a direct conflict with authority, but it’s not something I expected of you, darling,” Rarity admitted. “I simply wonder if your time in Mr. Saotome’s company has given you a bit of a… rebellious streak, is all.”

Twilight flinched like Rarity had slapped her. The unicorn blinked, wondering if she had crossed some unspoken line.

“You know what? Perhaps we’re just taking Discord too seriously,” Rarity said, sighing and trotting ahead of the young Princess. “He says bizarre things all the time. He’s probably just trying to get in our heads or something. Forget about it.”

Twilight followed along silently as they emerged from the orchard. Rarity promptly turned toward the road heading back to town, glancing back when she noticed that the alicorn mare wasn’t following.

Rarity contemplated calling out, but eventually shrugged it off and moved on. Twilight was staring off into space again and their conversation had concluded. She trotted down the road, leaving the alicorn and the farm behind.

Twilight stood in front of the Apple farmstead for some time, her eyes furtively darting over to the departing seamstress and searching for any other pony that could witness her.

Once she decided the coast was clear Twilight spread her wings, and then jumped into the air.

The purple Princess slowly approached the window to the Apples’ guest room, checking below and behind her to make sure there were no ponies within her line of sight.

Had she been asked, Twilight probably couldn’t have explained why, exactly, she didn’t want anypony else to know she was checking in on Ranma before she went home. Certainly flying up to the guest room and peeking into the window dramatically increased the likelihood of suspicion and misunderstandings, if nothing else. But nonetheless she found the idea of asking Applejack permission to speak to the martial artist hopelessly embarrassing.

Hovering close enough to touch the glass, Twilight moved to brace herself against the frame so that she could get a good look inside.

The window suddenly slid open instead, and Twilight’s heart leapt into her throat when she found herself staring into Ranma’s eyes.

The martial artist didn’t seem surprised or displeased. He stuck his head out to check if there were any other flying ponies nearby, and then backed into the room to clear the window. “Hey Sparks. Did you wanna come in?”

Twilight didn’t know what to say at first, a deep flush covering her cheeks. “I… uh, I… sure?” She meekly flew into the Apples’ guest room and dropped gently to the floor, making sure to touch down as lightly as possible. Despite being invited in, she still felt like she was intruding, somehow.

Ranma backed up and sat down, leaning against the bed that he was using during his stay. “So, did you want to talk to me?”

Twilight took a moment to study the martial artist. “Well… um… are you... okay? About the... uh... end of the world?” She stumbled over the question awkwardly, feeling like an idiot.

“Yeah,” Ranma replied, his eyes darting away quickly. “It’s just… yeah. I’m fine.” He hopped upright again, his ears perking up. “I think I’ll just do some kata to blow off steam for a little while, and then see what Jack has for me to do next. Probably prying all the weapons out of the barn.”

“You don’t have to rush back to work, Ranma. We understand if you need some time to yourself,” Twilight assured him.

“I DON’T need time to myself! I need to get this damn debt cleared!” Ranma snapped.

Twilight recoiled, and a second later Ranma did too. His ears flipped down, and he held up his front hooves.

“Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to yell! I, uh, I just… I’m kinda restless and, err… what Discord said really bothered, well not BOTHERED me, but, I mean, I can’t say it didn’t, right? Who wouldn’t be bothered? But it was a long time ago, except it kinda wasn’t, but, uhm-” he started babbling, and his eyes darted back and forth as if seeking an escape.

Twilight felt something click in her head, and she shook off the saddlebags that hung over her back. Without interrupting Ranma, she walked up next to him and turned to face the same direction. His legs tensed, as if he was preparing to leap to safety, but the stallion didn’t flee even when Twilight finally laid her side against his and rested her head against his shoulder.

Ranma stopped talking and heaved a deep, shuddering sigh. Twilight kept leaning against him, and then gently raised a wing to stroke his back.

“It’s okay, you know,” the Princess whispered. “You don’t have to prove anything to us. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Nopony is going to be let down because you’re distressed over the annihilation of everything you knew and loved.”

Ranma gulped. “I… I do still owe you guys, though,” he mumbled. The feel of Twilight’s fur and feathers against him was extremely soothing; so much so that he almost felt like he had to stay extra alert.

“You owe Applejack and Dash a certain amount of money to cover what they gave up, true. But you certainly don’t owe ME anything,” Twilight insisted. “You saved my life. I stopped the Equestrian state from frequently inconveniencing you and donated a blanket. I hardly think the debts are balanced in my favor.”

“It’s… It’s more than that,” Ranma admitted, his shoulders slumping. “You guys came for me when I really needed it. You stuck with me when you were facing down your own soldiers. You didn’t leave me behind when I said I wasn’t going to give you what you wanted.” He allowed himself to relax ever-so-slightly, leaning some of his weight on the mare next to him. “I just crashed into your lives, and probably made them a lot worse in some ways, but you still tried to help me. Hell, you didn’t just try, you did it! While facing down an army! You could have just left me to beat General Rock-Name into the ground and run off, but you MADE your Queen or Princess or whatever come down and pardon me then and there!”

“And I’d drag her down here all over again if you needed it,” Twilight said firmly. “Because I’m your friend. And because you’re far too powerful and dangerous to alienate. But mostly because I’m your friend!”

Ranma chuckled slightly. “I guess I’m still not used to it. And after Trixie… uh…”

Twilight quickly interjected after he trailed off. “I don’t know what you intend to do now that you’ve discovered what happened to your planet, but I want you to know that I’ll be here for you. And for pony’s sake, you don’t have to decide now! I mean, yesterday you thought you were on a grand quest to return to your family on your home planet, and today it’s suddenly dumped on you that it doesn’t even exist anymore! I can’t imagine what a shock that must have been!”

“It wasn’t,” Ranma mumbled sadly. “I already knew.”

Twilight tried and failed to come up with a coherent response to that, her mouth opening and closing repeatedly while emitting a strained “whaaaa” sound.

“I mean… I didn’t know for sure. But I’ve thought for a while that this whole ‘alien planet’ idea didn’t really add up.” He sighed forlornly. “Not that Discord’s story makes perfect sense either, but there was just… too much in common between this place and Earth. The way you speak English, the way horse towns look bizarrely similar to human towns, the horse foods based on human foods, and all the monsters that seem like they’re from Earth stories. Little things like that. And I never really had any theory for how I got here if I wasn’t on my own planet.”

Ranma leaned more heavily on the alicorn next to him, shifting his position so that her head was resting on his chest. “All this time everyone was gone, but because I couldn’t know for sure I ignored it and kept going. I thought maybe if I just held out long enough and kept winning that somehow everything would turn out okay. Now I know for sure. It’s not gonna be okay.”

Twilight blinked away a tear. Where the previous topic had her practically glowing, now she felt a deep, cold pit in her stomach. “I’m so sorry, Ranma.” She squeezed her eyes shut, pressing her cheek against his chest. “To think, when you first came to me I wrote off your past as a hallucination! You had been dumped into the Everfree millennia after everything you knew was burned away to nothing, all alone, and I… I-!”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Ranma scoffed. “Zee just dropped an exploding martial artist in your lap one day and you’ve been trying to help me out ever since. It means a lot to me, Sparks. In fact…”

Twilight felt Ranma’s body shift against hers, and her heart started racing. She didn’t intend for the physical contact to be anything more than a comforting cuddle; she’d gotten the idea from the way Ranma had casually and platonically slipped into her bunk on the train ride to Ponyville. There was something undeniably thrilling about rubbing up against the muscular stallion, though, and the Princess was having trouble keeping her thoughts focused whenever she felt him rub against her.

All naughty impulses vanished into a fog of confusion and a little fear when the MacGuffin Stone dropped onto the floor in front of her.

“If I’m not going home, then I don’t have a use for this thing anymore. Swan Song already admitted she didn’t know how to change me back to human, and it’s not like Blood Rite would help me even if I knew where the jackass was. Take it. It’s yours,” Ranma said.

“M… Mine?” Twilight squeaked.

“Sure. Or Princess Celestia’s, if you want to give it to her. I don’t care. I’ll be glad to be rid of the thing.” He sighed and reached a foreleg over her back, gently hugging the mare closer. “… Let me know if you ever figure out where my clothes went, though. I still want my clothes back.”

Twilight hesitantly reached over with a leg, her hoof hovering inches from the gem’s surface. She was nervous about even touching the gem, although mostly she was just shocked that it had suddenly been given to her. This was the outcome she had been working toward ever since she’d left Canterlot to bring Ranma back: Ranma’s record was clear. He had befriended the Elements of Harmony. He had uncovered the secrets of his origin. And now she had obtained the final objective. The MacGuffin Stone had been recovered. Everything Twilight had worked for had come to fruition.

And yet…

“Ranma… are… are you SURE?” Twilight asked. “You know how dangerous this is. Do you… Do you really think it’s better off with Canterlot?”

Ranma blinked. “Don’t you?”

“I… uh…” Twilight gulped. “Y-Yes… Yes! I mean, definitely!” The alicorn did not sound confident in her reply. “But you just… seemed VERY sure before that you weren’t going to give it to us! Have you made sure to re-examine that case? You made some very good points!”

Ranma frowned, and then pulled away far enough that he could look Twilight in the eyes. “So, do you… not want the gem now?”

Twilight’s heart started racing again. Her chest was brushing against Ranma’s, and she was suddenly very conscious of the strong, gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. “I… I don’t…”

The door creaked open, and Applejack poked her head in. “Hey sugarcube, we’re ‘bout to have lunch so… Ah…”

The farmer’s voice trailed off while she stared at the ponies hugging each other next to the guest bed. Ranma and Twilight stared back. The former’s expression was brightened at hearing the word “lunch.” The latter looked like she had been caught swiping produce from the barn.

Applejack’s ears pinned back and she grimaced. “Twi, if yer gonna try and cheer him up the old-fashioned way Ah ain’t gonna judge, but y’all are gonna have to take it to yer place. Whether it’s you or Princess Luna, Ah don’t want no funny business in the guest room! Rules’r rules!”

Ranma blinked. “Princess Luna? What? What funny business?”

Twilight’s fur had transitioned to a bright burgundy, with her face reaching a hue of hot pink. She honestly contemplated teleporting away then and there, abandoning the MacGuffin Stone, Ranma, and perhaps her entire life up until now. “Applejack, this is NOT what it looks like, I swear!”

“It isn’t? What does this look like?” Ranma asked, perplexed.

“It doesn’t matter what it looks like, because that’s not what it was!” Twilight shouted, squirming free of Ranma’s leg and jumping out of reach. “Ranma, thank you for talking to me, and thank you SO MUCH for the MacGuffin Stone!” She stuffed the artifact in her saddlebags, and then flung it over her back with her magic. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later! PLATONICALLY! Goodbye!”

She leapt out the window, flapping her wings frantically get airborne and nearly knocking off her saddlebags in the process. Within seconds the alicorn was gone, speeding away toward town.

Applejack frowned at the open window, and then turned a scrutinizing gaze back on Ranma. “So were you two gettin’ frisky in here or not?”

“What? No,” the stallion said flatly, looking annoyed.

“Okay, fair ‘nuff.” Applejack turned back into the hall. “You feelin’ up fer lunch, Havoc?”

“YES,” Ranma answered, racing after the orange mare.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

All across Ponyville, the residents glanced up into the air upon hearing a loud, indistinct wailing sound. After spotting the purple shape in the air making a beeline for the center of town, most of them shook their heads and went about their normal business. It wasn’t exactly every day that Twilight Sparkle raced through Ponyville in the middle of a nervous breakdown, but it happened often enough that everypony knew to give the library some extra space and just go about their day.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” Twilight suddenly made a sharp descent, aiming straight from her front door. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” her dive accelerated to unsafe speeds, and as she rapidly approached her home her horn started to glow. “AAAAAAAAAAAAA-“

Twilight vanished, winking away into a cloud of purple magic just before impact.

Twilight Sparkle reappeared inside and dropped onto the floor, her previous momentum safely neutralized. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” She finished screaming, and then started heaving for breath.

Spike poked his head out of the kitchen. “You’re home early. Something happen at the spa?”

Twilight spent a few more seconds catching her breath, and then shook her head. “No, I didn’t go. There was a race, an explosion, a story about the death of the planet’s previous pre-eminent civilization, and Ranma and I had a deep heart-to-heart talk AND NOTHING ELSE so we got a little sidetracked.”

Spike grimaced. “And Fluttershy wonders why we don’t seem to like spending time around Discord. Are you okay?”

“Yes, actually! Screaming during the entire flight home was surprisingly calming. Thank you, though.” Twilight’s horn flashed, and the fold of her saddlebag flipped open. “And look! Ranma actually gave this to me!”

She pulled the MacGuffin Stone out of the bag with her magic, accidentally spilling a few other things in the process. A quill pen and some papers fell onto the floor, along with a small sphere that started rolling across the room behind her.

Neither Twilight or Spike noticed. Spike’s jaw dropped open, and he pointed at the artifact breathlessly. Twilight beheld the gem with a calm smile, and then gently lowered it onto an upraised hoof.

“He… He actually gave it to you? But how? Why?” Spike asked, stepping away from the kitchen for a closer look.

“Because he’s my friend and he trusts me, Spike,” Twilight explained solemnly. “Granted, after we went through his past, it was clear that the Stone isn’t much use to him at all. But still. Trust and friendship.”

“Should we deliver it to Princess Celestia or send a letter to ask her to come here?” Spike asked.

At this question Twilight’s triumphant expression faltered. Instead of responding, she stared hard at the gem.

“…… Uh, Twilight? We are going to give her the gem, right?” the young dragon asked.

“I…” Twilight faltered immediately, failing to find the words to explain herself. She brought the artifact closer, inspecting her reflection in its gleaming surface.

Her horn sparked, grazing the jewel with its charge. The reaction was paltry; the artifact glowed faintly in reaction, then dimmed immediately. Currents of energy ran underneath the surface, hinting at a vast web of magical potential locked away beneath the inert, multi-colored shell of glimmering stone. To the uninitiated the gem would have barely registered as a magic item, much less an artifact of great power.

Twilight had been very well initiated, however.

“Maybe I should run some experiments first,” Twilight mumbled. “We know a few things that the MacGuffin is capable of: magic draining, extra-dimensional imprisonment, and, uh, destabilizing major orbital rings, apparently.” She scratched at her head with her free hoof. “What if there’s more? Couldn’t its power be used for good?”

Spike looked stunned. “Used for good? Like what?”

“I won’t know if I don’t even run a few tests! Maybe I could make a trap for Blood Rite and stop him once and for all! Or safely imprison other deadly, antagonistic enemies! Maybe I could even cure Ranma’s magic allergy or his gender-switching curse!”

Spike looked down at the gem, and then back up at Twilight. “What about the spell that turned him into a pony? I think he’d want that cured more than anything.”

Twilight didn’t seem to be listening. Her telekinesis was already pulling books from her shelves, piling them into a stack next to one of the reading chairs. “There’s so much potential here! We should at least TRY to use it to help somepony before throwing it into a big vault where it will never be seen again!”

“Okay, yeah, I see your point,” Spike said nervously, tapping his fingers together, “but would Princess Celestia be okay with you taking a few… what, days? Weeks, maybe, to study this thing without letting her know about it?”

Twilight faltered, and the next book leaned out of its row on the shelves, frozen in place while wrapped in a shroud of purple. She didn’t turn toward Spike, her thoughts racing while she stared across the room at nothing.

“Princess Celestia said she trusts my judgment,” she said calmly.

“Well, yeah. She does. And she should! We all do!” Spike assured her. “It’s just that, well, this new judgment sounds a little different from yesterday’s judgment, and I’m a little confused. And, er… it’s not always a good sign when somepony gets a powerful magic artifact and their priorities suddenly change, so… I just wanted to make sure…”

A tense silence settled over the room. Then, after several seconds, Twilight sighed and her ears drooped.

“Thank you, Spike. I think I forgot why I was doing this for a minute.” The book frozen in place shifted back into its row. “Even if it could help Equestria, if I were to research the artifact here, on my own, I’d have to do it in secret, hiding it away from my friends and the Princesses. Aside from whether it’s wrong or not, I couldn't even keep it under wraps for long. Applejack already knows, and she’s not exactly great at keeping secrets!”

The alicorn shook her head, looking even more resolute than before. “Obviously I should turn it over to Princess Celestia directly and ask to research it in Canterlot. If she says no, then she says no. There’s too much at stake for me to take such a ridiculous risk!” She turned away from her books and levitated a small pouch from a different shelf. “We’ll leave on the next train to Canterlot!” She slung the pouch’s strap over her head, leaving it hanging over her chest.

“You got it, Twilight!” Spike agreed. “You should probably wash the MacGuffin Stone before you give it the Princess, though.”

Twilight grimaced. “Spike, there’s no evidence that Ranma keeps the artifact in a bodily orifice. Stop being gross.”

Spike just raised an eyebrow. Twilight stared back, her eyes shifting repeatedly from her draconic assistant to the gemstone in her hoof and back again.

“… Then again, there’s no reason NOT to clean it first,” Twilight admitted, walking into the kitchen at a slightly hurried pace.

“Use soap!” Spike advised, walking in the opposite direction to clean up the floor.

Spike gathered up the dropped papers, and then noticed a small silver orb resting next to the couch. He placed the paper back into Twilight’s saddlebags, and then picked up the sphere.

“What is this thing?” He squinted, staring at the intricate lines cut into the gleaming surface. Many of them were arranged in strange, unfamiliar glyphs, while slightly thicker ones spread across the sphere from a fixed point in straight lines and sharp ninety-degree angles. The orb had a strangely utilitarian aesthetic, but was beautiful nonetheless; he’d never seen anything like it before.

He took a bite. “Hmmm… kinda tangy,” Spike mumbled, chewing slowly. He couldn't tell if the orb was a gem, a stone, or some kind of metal, but he found it surprisingly appetizing.

“Spike! Are you ready to go?” Twilight raced past him, heading for the door. The pouch around her neck bounced as she ran, weighed down by the gemstone within.

“Yeah, right behind you!” Spike flicked the other half of the orb into his mouth and then rushed after Twilight, closing the door behind them.

“Well… so much for that sentry.”

Blood Rite stood in front of a magic mirror, the surface displaying a constant series of meaningless ripples and color distortions. He wasn’t really surprised or frustrated that his spy construct had been destroyed, although he wouldn’t have imagined they’d make good dragon snacks. If anything, he was giddy that it had been carried along with Twilight Sparkle for so long, evidently forgotten among Discord’s hijinks.

The story Discord told of the world’s origins, of entire civilizations instantly burnt to cinders due to the calamitous whim of some random lunatic, was extremely interesting on its own merits, if not mostly irrelevant to Rite’s own mission. For the moment its only importance was explaining Havoc’s - or Ranma’s or whoever’s - presence in the MacGuffin Stone when he had found it. Blood Rite’s study of the artifact had neglected its origins in the middle of the rotting, burnt-out ruins of an ancient city, and now that he knew something of its past he almost regretted making the jewel the centerpiece of his master plan.

But there was nothing for it now. The gem was the best way forward, and more importantly, it was vulnerable. Learning about the dreadful fate of his family and species ultimately hadn’t been a great shock to Havoc, but at the very least it removed any lingering desire to protect the MacGuffin Stone from those who wanted to actually use it. Twilight Sparkle had her own designs on the artifact, petty as they were, but ultimately intended to hand it off to Princess Celestia, as expected. There would probably never be a better time to strike.

Blood Rite trotted out of his cave and into the blasted wastes outside his new home. Immediately outside the entrance was a spire of carved obsidian, riddled with runic symbols and scraps of parchment. A gateway node, albeit more crudely developed than the ones he had built and hidden across the Equestrian countryside.

Off to the side, next to the spire, was a wide, deep pit burned into the sands and lined with coals. Kamikazan laid within the cavernous pit, smoke rising from around his scaly, armored bulk. A pile of jewels and gemstones was scattered across the smoldering ground; the remains of his lunch, apparently. Rite didn’t know where the dragon prince had gotten the treasure, but he was just relieved that he didn’t have to feed the serpent himself.

“Good news, your Highness. The MacGuffin Stone has been separated from its protector,” Rite said, leaning his head over the edge of the pit. “Twilight Sparkle is heading to Canterlot with the artifact even as we speak. This is an ideal window of opportunity, and I intend to take advantage of it. When I return with the stone, we can begin the next phase of the plan.”

Kamikazan twisted his head so that one golden eye glared up at the unicorn. “Didn’t you say you could seize it even after Canterlot recovered it? Why attack now?”

“I could if I had to, yes. But such an operation would be quite dangerous. Probably not as dangerous as trying to assault Havoc while the Elements of Harmony are nearby, but far more dangerous than assaulting Princess Twilight Sparkle and some random train passengers. I wasn’t expecting such a perfect opportunity to appear like this, and it would be foolish to wait for a better one. It’s also generally better for everyone if we keep the artifact out of Celestia’s hooves entirely. She’s hardly above using magic weapons to defeat her enemies, after all.” He turned around and started walking away. “I’ll be back, your Highness.”

“Halt,” the dragon commanded.

Rite stopped, and then he heard the sound of the great dragon’s wings flapping, blasting a wave of hot and dirty air over him.

Kamikazan landed next to his pit, and then a shroud of crimson magic started washing over him. “I will join you. I don’t intend to lay here like a docile PET until you return with the means to imprison me.” His voice was a resentful growl, although it lost much of its rumble when he fully converted to his hybrid equine form.

Rite blinked. “You’re… coming with me? Why? To do what?”

“To help,” the dragon grumbled, glaring at the stallion. “You said you intended to attack a train, was it? I can aid with that.” He raised one of his lizard-like hands, and embers flickered around his fingers and then fizzled away.

Rite gulped. Having the power of a dragon on his side substantially increased the chances of success, but changed his plan of attack substantially. He wasn’t sure he liked the idea of letting the reckless fire-breathing monster loose on a vehicle full of innocent ponies, either.

“The thing about that is… I thought we were trying to keep your involvement secret?” Rite asked cautiously. “There’s no reason Equestria has to know that you’re working with me. It would certainly make your eventual dominance over Princess Celestia much easier, don’t you think?”

“No, I do not,” Kamikazan snarled, walking past Blood Rite. “You already explained how I would acquire Celess: by force, after you depose her. Fine. I assent to these terms.” His golden eyes flashed, and a series of hot sparks jumped from his horns. “But I don’t care for deceit. If I’m to take what is rightfully mine, I will do so openly, so that all of Canterlot knows its new king!” His tongue flicked from within his mouth, dripping a rope of saliva onto the ground. It sizzled when it touched the sand, and acrid-smelling smoke puffed into the air.

“Huh… That’s… Okay, sure.” Rite was singularly unimpressed by the dragon’s reckless pride, but he, at least, was comfortable enough with deceit not to say so.

“In addition… you mentioned that the lesser Princess has the artifact? We are seizing it from her?” Kamikazan asked.

“Lesser Princess? You mean Twilight Sparkle?”

“That is her name, yes,” Kamikazan snorted. “That one bothers me. I wish to end her.”

Rite winced. “That… isn’t particularly helpful to our cause, your Highness.”

“And why not?” the dragon demanded, twisting his neck about to glare at the unicorn. “The lesser Princess stands with Canterlot against this plan of yours, does she not? If she is an enemy, and I am no longer bound by Celestia’s request not to incinerate her citizens, then let us be rid of her.”

“My plan is not a brutal takeover of the Equestrian throne, Prince!” Blood Rite snapped. “This isn’t about petty conquest! My aims are greater than that!”

Kamikazan rounded on the sorcerer, his eyes blazing gold. “I am a KING, equine!” he snarled. The local air temperature jumped several degrees, and burning cracks started appearing under the dragon’s feet. “But that aside… Your plan is a fool’s errand that I tolerate because it may yet succeed far enough to complete our bargain. You say it is not about petty conquest? HA!! If you lack even this much conviction, then you may as well throw yourself on Equestria’s spears.”

Rite wasn’t deterred by the dragon’s ferocity, meeting Kamikazan glare for glare. “I seek to uplift all of equine-kind, your Highness. Deposing a Princess is merely a means to an end. That end-“

“Is beyond you,” Kamikazan interrupted flippantly. “You’re a marauder with delusions of grandeur, sorcerer. You think yourself nobler than that - BETTER than that - but I can see through your façade. Your heart seethes with spite and jealousy, not hope and love.”

Kamikazan turned again and rested a claw against the obsidian spire. “However… you’re at least capable and wise enough to aid me in my own purposes, and for that I will show lenience. The lesser Princess doesn’t have to die today, if you insist.” He jerked his head to the side, gesturing to the spire. “Are we going, or not?”

Blood Rite was silent for several seconds, glaring at the dragon prince coldly. Then he finally approached, his horn pulsing with magic. “Thank you for your cooperation, your Highness,” he said, his voice cool and flat. “Let us depart.”

Rite’s magic lit up the monolith, and the various symbols blazed with power. He set it to a particular teleport node, and then his eyes glowed. “To the end, and then the beginning.”

Kamikazan snorted as the password was accepted and a portal opened up. “Drama queen.”

Author's Note

Everyone gets so worked up over innocent pony cuddles. Embarrassing.

Anyway, that was the dramatic reveal of the Earth's uncomfortably grim and painful demise! I hope the reaction was just grave enough not to make Ranma look like a flippant jerk, because I don't plan on having him do a lot of obsessing over his past from here on out!

See you next time!

Blood Rite

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 10
Blood Rite

“So what do YOU think of Havoc, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy was surprised by the sudden question, and she pushed the damp towel out of her eyes to look across the room at Discord. The draconequus was on his belly, his long, serpentine body stretched over two massage tables and a series of stools and chairs placed in a row between them. Aloe was hopping up and down on his back, grumbling through clenched teeth while she did her best to massage the spirit of chaos.

After a few seconds, Discord smirked and beckoned to the pegasus with a finger. “Come on, now. You haven’t been around him as much as the others, I don’t think, but surely you have an opinion at least. Do you like him? Fear him? Feel sorry for him? Think he should go away?”

Fluttershy fidgeted for a few seconds, thinking of a response. “I suppose I’m just… confused?”

“Confused? About what?”

“Er… Everything?” Fluttershy grimaced and slouched against her seat. Lotus Blossom trotted up with a nail file in her teeth and started on the yellow mare’s hooficure. “I don’t understand what happened to Havoc, or what Rite is trying to accomplish, or why they seem to be fighting each other, or why Canterlot is fighting them, or… anything, really.” She sighed. “I understand the, um, stone and what it does, I think. I just don’t see the point of everypony fighting over it.”

“There is no change without conflict. Conflict drives animosity and violence, which begets suffering and hatred, demanding justice and change. And so the cycle continues,” Discord intoned, grunting when Aloe landed on a soft spot. “A locus of chaos such as this can’t be properly understood through simple cause and effect, unfortunately. It simply IS, and as others are forced to react, agitation escalates and the bonds of fate begin to dissolve.”

“Oh dear. If that’s the case I certainly hope Princess Celestia seals up the MacGuffin Stone for good,” Fluttershy said.

“I was talking about Havoc. Although I suppose you could easily reach the same conclusion in regards to him,” Discord said wryly. “The MacGuffin Stone also tends to drive conflict, but in traditional, predictable ways: big important artifact does X and Y, allowing for Z. Defeat A to obtain artifact and use it subvert B and overcome C. Z accomplished, kingdom is saved and/or conquered, end game, roll credits. Entertaining, but still bog-standard ancient artifact stuff.” Aloe landed her back hooves right between his shoulders, and he heaved a pleasant sigh.

Fluttershy grimaced again. “It’s still confusing. Havoc isn’t bad, is he?”

“I hardly think I’m in any position to tell YOU who’s good or bad, Fluttershy,” Discord chuckled. “You should feel free to judge Havoc as you would any other pony. The others do, mostly.”

“But… what you said about him and our destiny…” Fluttershy mumbled. “It… sounds pretty bad… I think?”

“If you’re particularly attached to the fate you’ve been handed, I’m sure it’s terrifying,” Discord admitted. “How awful would it be for you to lose your home? For your animals to be scattered to the bloody mercy of the wilds? To leave the familiar comforts of your life in Ponyville behind for an unknown and unpredictable future?” He watched the pegasus squirm uncomfortably at the thought. “Loss, opportunity, and the violence of a life unmoored to home and hearth isn’t for everypony.”

Fluttershy nodded anxiously. “So should we… stay away from Havoc, then?”

“You might want to, personally. But the others?” Discord snorted. “Sparkle could benefit a great deal by having her world turned upside-down. And I’m sure Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie wouldn’t care in the least if their destinies were subverted by abject disaster so long as it was sufficiently entertaining.” Then he pursed his lips. “Applejack really should consider moving him out, though. As much fun as it is, he’s an extraordinary liability to somepony with so much flammable property.”

“It’s kind of sad, don’t you think?” Fluttershy mumbled, her ears flipping down.

“Hm? No, I don’t think so at all. What do you mean?”

“You said it’s not really his fault, right? That, um, destiny… thing?”

“Of course it isn’t. That’s why it’s so much fun! If he had moral culpability you’d just turn the poor sap to stone or something!” Discord laughed.

“I think Spike said he did get turned to stone, actually. By accident. It didn’t stop him for very long,” Fluttershy said. “But I just think it’s sad that there’s so much strife around Havoc and he can’t do anything about it except fight… which just, uh… causes more strife. Anypony who tries to help him or doesn’t manage to avoid him will get caught up in it, no matter what he does. Can’t he ever find peace?”

Discord craned his neck to look Fluttershy in the eyes, gauging if the pegasus was serious. “You mean well, I’m sure, but there’s little point in pitying Ranma Saotome,” he explained. “He fancies himself a hero, I believe. What use does a hero have for peace? Even surrounded by ruin, obliviously dashing the hopes, dreams, and expensive property of those he encounters, Havoc looks only to victory and righting the next wrong.”

Fluttershy didn’t look especially happy with that answer. “I still don’t understand… I wish there was something I could do.”

“As befitting of the Element of Kindness,” Discord snickered. “But you needn’t worry about him. Havoc has friends now. It’s rather cute, actually.” Aloe landed on another sensitive spot, and Discord paused to wheeze painfully for a few seconds. Then he cleared his throat. “It’s those friends you should be worried about. Some of them are your friends too, after all…”

Twilight Sparkle exhaled a happy sigh as she laid back in her seat, a book floating open in front of her and a cup of tea resting on a small table in front of her. Spike bounced up next to her, settling himself as the train let out a loud whistle and the engine rumbled into action.

“So do you think Princess Celestia will let you study the Stone after all?” Spike asked.

“I think so, yes,” Twilight answered. “We don’t know a lot about the artifact. We don’t even know what Rite intends to do with it! I think some study is warranted, no matter how dangerous it is.”

“Okay, but… Discord said it was used to destroy the world, right?”

“It was, yes. Supposedly using the same kind of magic Princess Celestia uses to raise the sun. But there’s no way I’d believe that without at least asking her first,” Twilight said with a grimace. “What we’ve seen personally from the artifact is that it can act as some sort of extra-dimensional prison, capturing individuals and drawing on their latent magical energy. There’s a LOT of questions within that premise, though.”

“I’d think that Princess Celestia would want to have it sealed away anyway. At least until Blood Rite is captured. You know, just in case,” Spike pointed out.

“That’s… probably going to be a sticking point, yes. But I’ve got to try. There are so many possibilities!” Twilight confessed. “Ranma spent MILLENNIA within the gem, protected from a global firestorm that apparently wiped out mortal life on his planet, only to be safely delivered to Equestria! Think of what we could do with this sort of capability!”

Spike frowned. “… I guess we could trap a bad guy in there? Like you did to Discord, except he’d actually be useful for more than decoration?”

Twilight’s excitement cooled at the idea. “Well… yes, I suppose we COULD just use it as a new type of magical prison, but hopefully we can come up with a better use than THAT.” She snorted and took a sip of her tea. “Besides, Princess Celestia isn’t short of means to lock away her enemies for a few centuries when she wants to.”

There was a lull in the conversation while Twilight skimmed her book and Spike fell into contemplative silence. After a few minutes, the young dragon piped up again.

“You ever wonder… if maybe the MacGuffin Stone isn’t the only magic gem that works like that?”

“That works like what?”

“By imprisoning powerful creatures inside it,” Spike explained, scratching his head. “I mean, I don’t really understand the principle behind magic rocks to begin with, but all that magic has to come from somewhere, doesn’t it?”

“It depends greatly on the artifact type and whether the enhancement variance is sub-construct or mid-cantation,” Twilight said, instantly losing her assistant with magic jargon. “Just from the analysis of the enchantment mechanics I can guarantee you that the Elements of Harmony, for example, definitely didn’t have anything alive locked inside of them.” She paused to flip the page of her book. “The Alicorn Amulet probably did, though.”

“Probably?” Spike asked, grimacing.

“I’d place the likelihood greater than seventy percent. I doubt there was any way to get the source creature out, though.” She took a sip of tea, her eyes still on her book. “Magic can be a morbid craft, sometimes.”

Spike nodded silently in agreement, staring at the leather pouch hanging from Twilight’s neck.

“But it’s not that different from any other kind of power. We need to make sure it’s used for the right reasons, and the first step to control is knowledge,” the alicorn continued. “In theory, that is. The first step in this case was a violent struggle to seize the artifact, followed by an extended effort to acquire it from the pony doing the seizing. But my point is that knowledge is important, and right now we don’t have enough of it! I don’t think we even have a complete list of individuals with this ‘MacGuffin sense’ yet, do we?”

Spike poked her in the side before he leaned in and spoke again, this time lowering his voice. “Hey, don’t look, but I think the mare the next seat over is watching us.”

Twilight blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in the conversation. “Ah… is that a problem?” she asked. “A lot of tourists take this route into Canterlot, Spike. A lot of them have probably never seen an alicorn or a baby dragon before.”

Spike seemed uncertain. “I don’t know… I just get a bad feeling. Like… Like something really bad is about to happen.”

This prediction got Twilight’s attention, and her horn briefly flashed with magic. A small circle of silvery light formed in front of her, giving her a mirror that she could pretend she was using to check on her mane.

It was immediately obvious why Spike was suspicious; the mare - a yellow unicorn similar in figure and coloration to Fluttershy - was sitting up in her seat, ramrod straight, with her head completely obscured by a levitating newspaper. A hole had been cut in the newspaper, and Twilight could see the mare’s eye peering at them through the tear.

“Okay, yeah, we should probably change cars,” Twilight grumbled, closing up her book and dropping onto the floor. “I’m not completely ready to rule out ‘nosy tourist,’ but that’s just weird.”

Spike hopped down and followed her toward the connection exit door. “It wouldn’t really matter most of the time but since you’re carrying you-know-what we should probably be extra-“

A fiery roar suddenly erupted from outside the train, and the entire car jolted sharply. Twilight stumbled, spreading her wings to help balance, while Spike tripped flat on his face. Several other passengers shouted in surprise, bracing themselves against the sudden shock.

“What was that?!”

“Did we run over something? It felt like the train jumped!”

“I thought I saw a light! Out the window!”

“Does anypony else smell something burning?”

Twilight looked out the side window, noting a trail of smoke blowing past from the front of the car. After a few seconds she noticed something else: the car was slowing down. Clenching her teeth, she raced to the door and threw it open.

The scene was exactly what she had feared and anticipated. The walkway between train cars was badly scorched, while the connector that kept the passenger cars attached to each other had been melted through. Black smoke billowed all around the door, obstructing much of her view, but Twilight could still make out the rear of the next car pulling away through the flames.

“Hey! HEY! The engine is leaving without us!” Spike shouted, pointing across the tracks. Several other passengers started panicking in response, jumping out of their seats and searching wildly for any path of escape.

“What’s going on?! Was it an accident? A bomb?”

“Are we slowing down? They’ll come back for us eventually, right?”

Twilight considered teleporting her and Spike to the next car before it sped out of range, but quickly discarded the idea. She had a good idea what the purpose of this attack was, and jumping from car to car would just put more innocent ponies in danger. “Spike, get on my back! We’re leaving!”

Her loyal assistant started clambering up her side, only to fall off when another jolt shook the train car.

“That came from the rear! Did they break off the other side, too?”

“What’s happening?! Who’s doing this?!”

Spike finally got onto Twilight’s back, and then the Princess spread her wings in preparation for takeoff.

Once again the train car moved before she did, tilting sharply to the side. Ponies screamed as they were flung from their seats or slammed into the windows, and Twilight herself struck a wall before she could stabilize herself. Then the car swung back and forth, like it was hanging in the air by its roof.

“COME OUT AND PLAY, PONIES,” growled a voice from above. “YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ME.”

Staggering upright, Twilight already had a good guess as to who their assailant was and what, precisely, he was doing, but a glance outside the window confirmed it. A thick, reptilian tail armored in red and black scales whipped back and forth through the air, and the heavy beat of enormous wings was barely audible over the panicked shouts of the passengers. On top of that, she could see the train tracks and the mountainside as well; the car had been plucked from its track and was being carried through the air. That complicated things.

“Kamikazan…” the young Princess hissed. Turning around, she addressed the other passengers. “Everypony brace yourselves against something! After we land I’ll draw him off and you can make a break for it!”

The train car jolted again, and one stallion yelped as he was thrown against the window hard enough to leave cracks through the glass. Suitcases and random loose objects bounced across the floor while the equines struggled to cling to their seats. The car’s frame groaned under the stress, the metal creaking under the claws digging into it.

Eventually the car lurched again, free-falling some twenty feet before slamming into the ground and then tipping over onto its side. The passenger car’s windows finally shattered under the impact, and many more screams bombarded Twilight’s ears that were hopefully simple expressions of shock and fear rather than relating to grievous injury. A magic telekinesis field served to stabilize Twilight herself, and she spread it out as much as she could to protect the passengers from falling glass.

Once the impact had settled, however, the Princess was acutely aware of the large, golden eye peering through the car’s windows above her. Kamikazan reared back his claws, apparently intending to tear the compartment open.

Twilight broke and ran instead, with Spike still clinging desperately to her back. She leapt up to the car exit - now positioned sideways relative to the ground with a step up composed of secured luggage - and then spread her wings before emerging outside. Taking quickly to the air, the purple Princess had to dodge a series of trees almost immediately to get to open sky; apparently the train car had been dropped off into a wooded area, which meant they had been carried down the mountainside.

She heard Kamikazan’s pursuit long before she dared look behind her, spurred on by the beat of massive, scaly wings against the air and the soft whimper of Spike as he hugged her neck. Once she got sufficient altitude she spun around, slowing to a hover while her horn sparked with magic.

Kamikazan flew up to meet her and then flew a little higher, ensuring that he had a properly steep angle with which to glare down at the little pony. “I think you can guess what I’m here for, mare. How much do you wish to suffer for it?”

“Mare? Don’t you mean ‘lesser Princess?’” Twilight said with a scowl. “Come on, I thought you of all dragons would be a stickler for titles!”

Kamikazan’s lips curled to show off his sword-like teeth. “I’ve no need to recognize your filthy lineage, mare. But if you surrender the MacGuffin Stone, I need not end it here. There are too many ponies who want you to live for me to remove you so lightly from this mortal coil.”

“That’s… kind of comforting, actually.” Twilight briefly glanced down at the train car in the forest below. The other passengers were fleeing the scene as she’d instructed, scattering into the forest in small groups. “By the way… you DO know that I’m on my way to give the stone to Princess Celestia, right? Do you think she’s going to be happy that you ripped apart a train and took it from me so that you could give it to her yourself?”

“I need not explain myself to you, equine!” the dragon Prince snarled. ”Will you surrender the jewel, or your life?”

I should stall him a little longer, to make sure everypony else has time to escape. Then I can make a break for it myself, Twilight decided. “What, you can’t even give me a good reason? If it’s just going to make its way to Celestia anyway then I really don’t mind, but why did you have to attack a train for this?”

Twilight was surprised when this question made the dragon visibly upset. An angry grimace cross the dragon’s features, and his tail whipped back and forth irritably.

“I am not Celestia’s errand boy!” Kamikazan announced, his voice roaring a protest over the forest. “I am her conqueror! And soon her little pets like yourself shall bend knee to the Lord of Serpents, as it should be! The weak will tremble in the shadows and pay tribute to the mighty, and the ancient order of this world will be restored!”

Twilight gaped silently for a few seconds, surprised by the grand ambition proposed in the midst of what was otherwise a glorified mugging. “… Didn’t it turn out pretty badly for you the last time you picked a fight with a pony?” she asked.

A hot snort came from the dragon’s nostrils. “That bothersome gray pest isn’t here this time. Equestria hides behind its heroes… or whatever Havoc is, exactly… but there’s nowhere left to hide, mare.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I’m one of those heroes, you know.”

“A worthless title and a shiny new horn does not a champion make,” Kamikazan growled, “now drop the jewel, little mare, or face the full wrath of a serpent king!”

Twilight again glanced down at the displaced train car, and was gratified to see that it looked to be fully abandoned. “I’ll have you know it’s the wings that are new, not my horn!” Said horn started to glow, and Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Unfortunately for you.”

In a flash of purple magic, Twilight and Spike vanished.

The young Princess reappeared behind a tree, carefully touching down on the forest floor and folding her wings. She kept close to the trunk, not daring to peek out through the canopy cover above.

“Well, this was unexpected. I imagined that we might get attacked after the MacGuffin Stone was out of Ranma’s hooves, but this was a little TOO quick,” Twilight grumbled.

“What’re we gonna do?” Spike asked nervously, peering straight upward. “Should you just make a break through the air for Canterlot? He can’t chase us into the city, right?”

“I think we should play this one slow, actually,” Twilight mused, creeping away from the tree she was using for cover. “Kamikazan doesn’t have a MacGuffin sense. He doesn’t have much of a trail, either, and we’re too close to Canterlot for him to search very far or very long. I think we can sneak away on the ground, or at least wait this out.”

“Okay, yeah. Good plan!” Spike said, nodding. Then he paused. “But… if he can’t track the MacGuffin like you can, how’d he even find us? He dropped right onto our train car out of nowhere!”

Twilight frowned. “That… is a pretty good question,” she admitted nervously. “Ranma seemed pretty sure he didn’t have it, but maybe he was wrong? Or does he have some other way of tracking me?”

A sharp whistling noise came from deeper in the forest, and Twilight snapped her head up. A bright crimson light was rocketing into the air, sailing over the forest while sparking loudly.

“Aw, ponyfeathers,” Twilight moaned before the explosions started.

A beam of flame rushed down from above, sweeping across the forest and trailing detonations behind it. Birds scattered into the air, trees collapsed into burning splinters, and a wave of smoke billowed up above the canopy. Twilight anxiously watched the destruction from behind a magic barrier, mercifully spared from the direct impact of the spell but unsure how to proceed from here.

If I try to fly to Canterlot, Kamikazan can see and attack me, but I could probably evade him in the sky and Canterlot can probably fend him off. If I try to run on the ground he might bombard the forest until he either gets a lucky hit or torches the entire forest. Not great options!

“Twilight, what was that? That red thing?” Spike asked.

“Kamikazan isn’t alone,” the young alicorn growled. “I think I can guess who’s helping him, too.” She turned away from the burning swathe of forest and galloped lightly through the trees.

“Wait… Rite? You think Rite and Kami-whoever teamed up?” Spike asked, his breath catching in his throat.

“Yes, I do. That’s going to make this difficult…” Twilight stopped and glanced back and forth, her eyes narrowing. “Although even with a dragon on his side, I see Blood Rite isn’t willing to face me head-on.”

Another explosion boomed through the forest, and light bled through the trees. This fireball didn’t land close enough for them to see the detonation itself, but Kamikazan seemed to at least have a sense of which direction they were going. Birds leapt into the air while screeching in terror, and Twilight spied a few woodland animals fleeing in a panic.

“… Twilight, do you think you can get away while carrying me?” Spike asked nervously.

“Spike, not now,” the alicorn hissed, still galloping in the direction of the capital.

“I’m serious! You don’t need to carry me! I can get off and hide! Hay, even if Kamikazan hits me with a fireball I’ll be okay! Probably.”

“Spike, I’m not-“ Twilight’s refusal was cut off when a screaming beam of flames sliced across the ground ahead of her. Jets of fire erupted from the ground in its passing, igniting the dried leaves and twigs scattered across the ground. By the time the attack stopped there was a wall of flame in front of Twilight’s path, already too tall to jump over and growing rapidly.

With a snort and a burst of magic, Twilight teleported herself and Spike to the other side of the obstruction. “I’m NOT leaving you behind, Spike,” she admonished once she got moving again. “Aside from the obvious Friendship implications, do you think Rite and Kamikazan would hesitate to use you as a hostage if they got ahold of you?”

Spike groaned, his grip tightening on Twilight’s shoulders as another explosion came from behind them. “Then what are we gonna do? Kamikazan is tearing this whole forest apart! And if it is Blood Rite helping him, we still don’t even know where he is!”

Twilight began to reply, but was cut off as another thunderous boom echoed through the trees. She skidded to a halt, and her ears perked up.

“That… That sounded like a lightning strike, not a detonation.” She turned her head up, squinting and peering through the gaps between the branches in the tree canopy. “What’s going on up there?”

“Gah! Brimstone, what WAS that?!”

Kamikazan’s wings flapped hard against the air to keep his flight steady above the forest. He wasn’t totally sure what had happened, but something had struck his back with considerable force and deafening noise. The pain was muted, thanks to his thick scales, but he also felt an alarming numb sensation where he had been hit. His first thought was that he’d been struck by a lightning bolt, but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky right now.

Whirling around in the air, Kamikazan immediately spotted several figures in gleaming light armor circling around him at a higher altitude. His eyes narrowed; perhaps his original guess hadn’t been far off after all.

“Are you lost, lizard? If you need directions back to your nest you can always ask the Equestrian military for a helping hoof, rather than accosting random commuters on our railroads or lighting signal fires across our forests.”

The formation of pegasi was led by a dark blue mare in gleaming silver half-plate. An open-face helmet that extended over her brow in the shape of a hawk’s beak and boasted a bright red crest in its back sat on her head, and thin steel rims were strapped to her wings as shields. She also wore greaves, which were decorated with jagged runes and continually sparked with arcs of electricity. Kamikazan presumed those were the source of the attack.

“Hmph. I suppose even the Equestrian military has too much pride to let an enemy wreak havoc on the doorstep of their capital,” Kamikazan growled. “Yet not enough sense to send a worthy force to stop it! It’s no wonder Celess turned to me to secure her artifact!”

Wrath quirked an eyebrow. “I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about, but if you think we can’t stop you feel free to keep torching the forests. You’ll learn quickly enough.” She nudged her head slightly, and all the other pegasi - twenty of them aside from the officer - started loading crossbows with their front hooves.

Kamikazan snorted, and a stream of sparks blasted from his nose. “Do you truly think to throw your lives away so cheaply? Do you even know what you’re meddling in?”

“Take aim!” Wrath barked, ignoring the dragon’s questions entirely. The other ponies spread out, holding up their crossbows and readying multiple lanes of fire.

Wrath herself banged her front hooves together, and they suddenly came alive with electrical energy. Arcs of plasma whipped around and between her greaves amidst a loud hum, and she raised one leg above her head. With a sharp crack, the magical energies stabilized into a lance of shuddering lightning as long as the mare herself.

Kamikazan snarled and started gaining altitude, recognizing that the pegasi weren’t going to back off under his threats. Flames leaked from his mouth and claws, and his eyes glowed fiercely with ancient magic.

“ATTACK!!” Wrath bellowed, hurling her lightning bolt at the dragon. “FOR EQUESTRIA AND CANTERLOT!!”

“… Huh. Wasn’t expecting that,” Spike admitted, holding a hand to his forehead and staring into the sky.

“They must have noticed the attack on the train and deployed an attack force!” Twilight said, gaping at the sight. “Come to think of it we are a little too close to Canterlot for an enormous flying creature to go unnoticed, but I’m surprised they’re actually willing to go up against him!”

“Uh, yeah… about that…” Spike winced as an explosion burst in the sky, knocking away a trio of pegasi. “Are they, um… going to survive this?” Another peal of thunder cracked through the air as a magic lightning bolt found its mark.

“The General should know whether she’s in over her head or not. OUR job is to get this artifact to Canterlot,” Twilight said, spreading her wings. “As long as Kamikazan is distracted, we-“

“LOOK OUT!” Spike shouted, ducking his head down.

A volley of bright white magic bolts flew from behind the trees, and Twilight’s focus shifted in an instant. A barrier of shimmering purple blocked the projectiles, and then she sensed a burst of magic from behind her, opposite the direction of the attack.

She swung around, her horn already crackling, and a magic beam lashed out to sear across the trunk of a tree. A hooded pony ducked away from the ray, scrambling for cover while his own horn pulsed.

“There you are! Not so tough when I’m the one with the MacGuffin, are you?!” Twilight shouted, firing another magic beam at Blood Rite.

Rite’s horn fired its own bolt, striking the purple beam with a crackling stream of glowing white power. The energy feeds pushed against one another, and the ground beneath their point of contact started to crack apart from proximity.

“I may indeed have gotten a bit cocky after the last time we faced each other, Miss Sparkle,” Rite grunted while magic surged around his horn, pushing ever more energy into the struggle of wills. “But I think you’ll find I’m still plenty tough.”

His magic suddenly turned from silvery white to bright red, and Twilight yelped as her spell was swiftly overpowered. She leapt away, flapping her wings frantically, and the bolt of screaming crimson blasted apart a nearby tree and sent the top half plummeting to the forest floor.

“You’re good, Princess. Very good. But I will not be stopped so easily.” Blood Rite fired a series of small magic bolts, like crimson arrows, after the alicorn, chasing her into the air.

Twilight evaded the first one, and the brought up another barrier, causing the rest of the volley to splash harmlessly against the wall of light. Rite charged up a more powerful attack, but this time when he let the bolt loose Twilight teleported away instead, letting the screaming orb demolish another tree.

Rite whirled around to face the Princess again, and caught a magic missile in the chest for his trouble. The sorcerer staggered backward, and barely managed to react fast enough to deflect another blast with his own magic.

Twilight panted heavily, her vision a bit dizzy from the rapid relocation and shifting magic flows. Her horn flickered weakly, briefly spent while her magic energy recovered from the exertion. Spike simply held on for dear life, wondering why he had bothered to come along.

“Ha ha ha… this… this feels right, doesn’t it?” Rite asked, chuckling. His horn flashed, launching a sphere-shaped projectile at Twilight.

Twilight deflected the attack with a magic screen, sending it careening into the air. “What are you talking about? There’s nothing right about this!” she complained, launching her own spell.

Vines exploded from beneath Rite’s body, wrapping around his legs and trying to ensnare his entire body. In a flash of white light he disappeared, reappearing to stand in front of some piles of burning twigs. A series of thunderclaps rolled across the skies immediately afterward, followed by a draconic roar of pain and anger.

“You don’t think so? I do,” Rite said, his voice heavy. Magic swirled around his horn, shifting from white to red and back again. “If I should have to overcome some grim trial to fulfill my goals, it should be this, right here. Not smothering hapless soldiers or chasing after lunatic magicians. The guards are but pawns, and Havoc and the Dragon Prince are incidental obstacles who care nothing for Equestria but are simply too powerful to ignore. But you…”

He had to stop speaking in order to neutralize another fireball hurled his way. Twilight raced through the trees in a circle around him, waiting for an opening in his defenses. “What about me? What makes me so special to you?!”

“You are special because you, like myself, are a student and heir to Princess Celestia herself, of course.”

Twilight paused at that revelation, but only briefly. Another teleport took her out of sight, and Rite quickly charged up a new spell.

A crimson orb streaked toward the treetops and then burst in the air, shredding nearby branches and tearing leaves from branches by the hundreds. Twilight, who had been attempting to take to the air behind the cover of the trees, barely managed to land on her hooves after the shock wave knocked her out of the air and cut into her wings.

“Look at you, Sparkle! Ascendant alicorn! Hero of Canterlot! Fighting off the scourges of Equestria and uniting our ponies under Celestia’s benevolent will!” Rite trotted over to the Princess, his horn still sparking. “Given how little she’s told you about me, I’m sure you have no idea how close I was to being in your very horseshoes right now.” The sorcerer laughed bitterly while another thunderclap boomed overhead. “That’s why you remind me of myself and why I’m glad, in a way, that it’s come to this. You represent a part of my life that I still pine for, even now. It’s time to defeat it.”

Twilight had plenty of time to recover from her landing as he spoke, but she hesitated before launching her next attack, staring at the stallion. Rite’s robes were dirty and torn, and he looked haggard and exhausted compared to when she had seen him last. There was real resignation in his voice, but it was buried under layers of misery and resentment.

“But why? What are you trying to accomplish?” Twilight demanded.

“I’m trying to overthrow the royal order, and set the pony race free from the asinine ‘true destinies’ that dictate our future,” Rite said firmly.

“That still doesn’t make any sense! Why would you do that?!” Twilight asked.

“Because it’s what my cutie mark is telling me,” Rite spat coldly, suddenly flinging aside his robe.

Twilight gaped in shock and Spike’s eyes bugged out. The symbol on Rite’s flank was one that was instantly recognizable to every pony in Equestria. Countless flags, banners, paintings, statues, and even the odd shrine or temple boasted imagery very similar to Rite’s cutie mark. The mark of the sun was, after all, the cutie mark of the Princess Celestia herself, and the symbol was practically synonymous with the kingdom of Equestria.

Rite’s hip boasted an identical symbol, but with a startling, soul-chilling difference: a crooked slash of bright red, like a jagged wound, tearing the image in two.

At its most literal, the image invoked the smiting of a star; an act of destruction beyond belief in its execution and scale. Twilight certainly considered the possibility, if briefly. But to any Equestrian that saw the symbol it inevitably invoked the royal order, and a tragic fate awaiting its most beloved matriarch. Did Rite’s true destiny guide him toward her usurpation, as he intended? The seizure of her power and the end of her dominance of the sun? Or…

Rite’s horn flashed, jarring Twilight out of her stunned contemplation. She stumbled into motion as another magic orb was launched in her direction, and her own horn pulsed.

Before she could decide on a choice of countermeasure, however, the orb exploded in the air some ten feet in front of her. Twilight was caught off guard and knocked off her hooves from the shock wave, and Spike was flung off her back and into a tree.

The string around Twilight’s neck snapped apart, and the pouch containing the MacGuffin Stone bounced away onto the ground.

“Right flank, scatter! Get some altitude, ponies! Do you want to go home as heroes or as barbeque?!”

Thunder rolled through the air yet again as Wrath launched her magic attack, spearing Kamikazan in the wing. The dragon flinched from the lightning bolt, but neglected to roar angrily this time; either he was tired of wasting his breath snarling, or he was starting to become physically numb to the repeated electric shocks.

A stream of flames swept across the sky, and Wrath turned into a corkscrew spin, evading the blast. A glance behind her showed the dragon in furious pursuit, which elicited little more than an annoyed snort from the pegasus general. She doubled her speed in a few seconds, rapidly zipping out of range of Kamikazan’s most reliable attacks.

Smoke blasted angrily from Kamikazan’s snout before he once again broke off pursuit, wheeling his mighty wings toward the ponies that kept peppering his flank with crossbow bolts. They promptly turned away and sped up in different directions, splitting their formation to force the dragon prince to chase a single pony to the exclusion of all his other attackers.

It was a maddening tactic, frankly, although it was mainly just good for buying time. The crossbow bolts rarely broke through the protective layers of his scales to pierce his skin, and even the lightning bolts weren’t especially painful to a dragon (although still uniquely annoying). But it didn’t escape him that he had completely lost track of his original goal and was struggling to pin down the equine defenders.

This is ridiculous! I’ve only managed to knock three of the pests out of the sky so far, and that big one is thrice as fast as the others! What a waste of time!

The prince knew that the Equestrians were just trying to exhaust him and drive him off rather than make a serious attempt to slay him; this was hardly the first time he’d been on the wrong side of a pony phalanx and he knew when he wasn’t being taken seriously. But they’d successfully drawn him away from the magic duel happening on the ground, and the prize that lay so tantalizingly close. What’s more, if the ponies found Rite squaring off with the lesser Princess he doubted the sorcerer would fare nearly as well in the petty crossfire.

How absurd that I should have to suffer these fools to buy time for that stallion wretch. What’s taking him so long?!

Kamikazan started to scan the forest below, only to hear the crack of thunder above him. A tremendous crash filled his ears and blinding light stole his vision as a lightning bolt struck the dragon prince directly in the forehead, stunning him.

“You’ve torched enough of our woodlands, lizard,” Wrath proclaimed, hovering in the sky over the dragon. “You think you can ignore Equestria’s warriors? Eyes up here.”

Kamikazan didn’t put his eyes anywhere in particular, as he was still blinking away the overwhelming light and sound of the last attack. He couldn’t hear Wrath’s taunts, either, given the ringing in his ears.

When his vision did recover, though, he happened to be facing the mountain and the section of the train tracks running along its side. The same tracks where half of the train’s passenger cars still stood, disconnected from the engine. Dozens, perhaps hundreds of ponies still waited inside, helpless and vulnerable.

Their fate didn’t interest Kamikazan; that’s why he’d left them to begin with. But they probably mattered to the soldiers a great deal.

“General Wrath, was it?” Kamikazan snarled through bared teeth, finally turning his gaze up toward the officer. “I came here today with the intention to let your ponies escape with their lives. If you depart right now, I might yet still do so.”

“Asinine,” Wrath drawled. She tapped the tips of her greaves together, and more lightning surged between them. The other soldiers started moving to flank, flying a wide circuit around the dragon’s sides.

“Have it your way,” Kamikazan said darkly. A magic circle appeared in front of his nose; scarlet runes and intricate patterns woven together into a disk of eldritch power. The dragon prince reared his head back, and Wrath shifted her posture in preparation to dodge.

Kamikazan let out a roar, and a beam of bright red flashed across the sky. Rather than spearing any of the pegasi harassing him, however, it angled downward, aiming toward the nearby mountain. It slashed along the train tracks, and a series of bright pyres flared from under the passenger cars waiting on the mountainside.

“What in the-“ Wrath gasped in surprise at the sight, and then her expression shifted from shock to fury. “You scaly coward!”

Kamikazan smiled as screams started coming from the train tracks. “Oh, don’t worry; I aimed under the train cars. You still have several minutes before the ponies inside are roasted alive, which just MIGHT be enough time to rescue them! Or you can pester me with more of your silly fireworks. Your choi-.”

The dragon prince was cut off by another lightning bolt striking him in the nose, and his vision once again exploded into a blur of bright light while his ears rang. Wrath promptly twisted about in the air, diving toward the mountainside.

“Don’t just float there, get moving!” she shouted angrily at her subordinates. “Chimes, Shear, start from the end of the train! Hawks, keep watch in case the lizard tries to cook us while our backs are turned!” She pumped her wings harder, shooting in front of the other soldiers. “Take out the windows and get those ponies out of there!”

Twilight gasped and pushed herself upright, the roar of the fireball still echoing in her ears. Her legs stung from being singed and one wing ached from where she had landed on it awkwardly, but the Princess was far from defeated. The fireball had detonated early rather than following its trajectory, catching her off-guard, but it had also spared the Princess from the worst of the damage. Her horn still stung from the blast, but it also thrummed with fresh charge as she searched for a target on which to vent her anger.

The shine of a magical aura came from the corner of her eye, and Twilight did a double take. Her pouch was floating away among the flames still clinging to the grass, its broken strap already burning away. A flash of purple magic stopped it, and she heard an aggravated grunt come from the opposite side of the blast zone.

“You have impressive magical talents, Miss Sparkle, but your tactical awareness is lacking!” Blood Rite shouted. The stallion was mostly obscured behind the flames and smoke that was coming off the detonation, but could at least see the pouch from his angle. His horn pulsed with a halo of white, occasionally flashing crimson seemingly at random. “Alone, you could never beat me.”

Twilight growled through clenched teeth as she felt the magical aura around the pouch slowly overwhelm her own telekinesis. The pouch quivered in the air, the flames slowly crawling over its exterior. “Too bad for you,” she spat. “I’m not alone!”

“Got it!” Spike shouted, diving through the fire and grabbing the pouch.

Rite recoiled in surprise, and then his eyes narrowed at the dragon sprinting through the burning grass. “Right. You even have your own dragon, don’t you?”

A magic ray slashed toward his head, and Rite was forced to direct his energy to deflect it. He dashed back to the trees for cover, shouting as he went. “You merely delay the inevitable!”

“I’m going to BEAT the inevitable!” Twilight countered, galloping in the same direction while firing another magic blast from her horn. It cut into a tree, and then Twilight had to create a screen before a trio of magic missiles came screaming back at her. Detonations of eldritch force burst around her, ripping apart nearby branches and gouging out tree trunks. Her horn flashed in response, the energies singing while more formations of heat and force spun into projectiles.

Spike gulped as he heard the whine and boom of the magic battle behind him. He was crouched behind a tree, covering from the combat and wondering if there was something useful he could be doing aside from being a conveniently fireproof gem-bearer. The pouch had mostly burned away in his claws by now, leaving the artifact behind and unblemished from the flames. What was he supposed to do now?

I can run for it, obviously, but if Rite wins there’s no way I’d beat him to Canterlot on foot. Maybe if I try to flag one of the pegasus soldiers? Are they still okay? I haven’t heard a lightning bolt in a while! Did Kamikazan get them? Wait! Over there! There’s another pony!

To Spike’s surprise, he spotted an unfamiliar unicorn galloping toward him through the trees. Initially he was relieved, thinking that perhaps the mare could help either by aiding Twilight directly or by giving him a ride out of the area. That relief faltered when he suddenly recalled seeing this pony before: in the train, where she had been spying on him and Twilight.

While her behavior in the train didn’t necessarily make her an enemy, it did make Spike suspicious, and that suspicion wasn’t helped when she sped up and lowered her head. “Hey, wait! Stop!” he shouted.

She did not stop, and Spike yelped as he was struck by a hoof and knocked aside. The MacGuffin Stone bounced into the dirt, and a green magic aura quickly enveloped it. The unicorn mare slid to a stop, floating the artifact over to herself, and then took the gem in her jaws.

Twilight turned her head at the sound of Spike crying out, ignoring the blooms of crackling red energy against her barrier. “Spike? Wait, who…?” Her eyes narrowed when she saw the mysterious mare seize the MacGuffin Stone. “That must be Swan Song in disguise! Ponyfeathers!”

Blood Rite likewise had stopped to check on his target, and an angry grimace crossed the stallion’s face while his horn pulsed once again. “That is NOT Swan Song, nor is it any other ally of mine.” His horn’s aura started to grow, the energies blazing brighter and brighter, but his concentration broke when another magic blast struck him in the side, nearly knocking him over. “OW! What are you doing?! She’s getting away!”

Twilight noticed that the mystery mare had turned around and was racing into the forest now, but her concentration remained fixed on Rite. “If she’s not on your side, that’s good enough for me! We’re a short flight from Canterlot and I can detect the MacGuffin Stone at will! I’ll deal with her later!”

A spear of purple light blasted toward the sorcerer, who vanished with a silvery flash. Rite appeared in front of the escaping unicorn, causing her to veer away with a distressed whinny.

“You won’t get away from GAH!” Rite staggered again as another magic blast took him in the side, singing his coat. The sorcerer had passive magic defenses that blunted much of the force of Twilight’s magic and protected him from any number of other sophisticated spells, but after only a few direct hits those barriers were sapping his magic reserves and physical endurance.

Rite stood up straight again, only to see what appeared to be a winged lavender missile diving toward him, surrounded by an oscillating purple glow. Twilight Sparkle released a wordless battle cry as she cut through the air, forelegs outstretched and horn ablaze.

Rite’s horn flickered. In that moment, he had precious few options, but his power was not yet spent. The sorcerer had magic that could stop the mare. Not safely, but then the alicorn was, ultimately, an enemy. His blood grew hot as time seemed to slow to a crawl.

His will faltered, and the moment passed. Twilight crashed into him, sending the stallion flailing through the underbrush. He struck a tree with a pained yelp, and the glow around his horn winked out as his vision exploded into stars.

Twilight’s breath heaved as she stood facing the stunned sorcerer, her wings spread and her horn crackling with energy. After he failed to get up she switched spells, and bindings of glowing violet appearing around Blood Rite’s twitching body.

“I… I did it!” the Princess said breathlessly after Rite’s legs were bound together by threads of magic. “I actually beat Blood Rite!”

“Yes! Great! Good job!” Spike was still dusting himself off after getting trampled, and he pointed a claw off to the side. “We should probably stop that random unicorn thief now.”

“No,” Twilight said firmly, shaking her head. “It’s more important that Rite is captured. Like I said, I can hunt down the MacGuffin Stone anytime, so-“

An explosion bloomed in the direction Spike was pointing, instantly tearing apart a dozen trees and burning a fresh crater into the middle of the forest. A shriek of pain was barely audible over the fireball’s roar, petering out into a miserable whimper. The sound of massive wings flapping came from above once the other sounds had diminished, leaving no doubt as to the source of the conflagration.

“Ah. Right. Him.” Twilight’s ears flattened against her head. “I was kind of hoping that the soldiers could draw Kamikazan away for longer than that.”

Spike groaned and started running toward the blaze. Twilight galloped after him a moment later, although she doubted they’d be able to arrive in time.

Sure enough, Kamikazan was landing by the time Twilight and Spike got close enough to get a good look at the blast zone. The central pyre had receded, but there were numerous small fires scattered about on the scattered wood and underbrush. Smoke was everywhere, and as a result Twilight couldn’t see the MacGuffin Stone or the unicorn that had taken it.

She could have closed her eyes to check the artifact’s direction, but Kamikazan at least seemed to know exactly where his target was. The dragon prince lowered his head toward the ground, and then suddenly swept his wings forward. The smoke and flames in front of him were instantly blown away, revealing a glittering gem and a curled up black body.

“Wait a minute… that’s-!” Twilight gasped in surprise at the sight of the MacGuffin thief. At first she had assumed the dark coloration was due to burns, but upon further inspection that was clearly not the case.

“How interesting,” Kamikazan rumbled, keeping one eye on the lavender alicorn. “I wonder what the changelings thought they were going to do with this little trinket.”

Indeed the body on the ground was a four-legged insectoid creature with a sharp, pointed horn, a pair of thin, featherless wings, and a carapace ridden with holes that obviously didn’t come from the fireball damage. In fact, it looked like the creature hadn’t been hit directly by the blast, although it had apparently been close enough to be knocked over and stunned silly.

Kamikazan reached down into the dirt, his massive claws taking up the fist-sized gemstone with surprising care and dexterity. “Celess, Rite, the lesser Princess, the pigtailed fool, and now even the changelings… so much strife over this little jewel!” He opened his upraised hand briefly, glowering at the artifact. Then he closed his fist again and shrugged. “But I suppose I can’t talk as if I’m not involved, can I?”

“I still don’t know what you’re planning, Kamikazan, but you don’t seriously think you can trust Blood Rite, do you?” Twilight asked. “He wants to depose Celestia and remake Equestria in his own image! I’m pretty sure being enslaved by an angry dragon isn’t part of that image!”

Kamikazan looked annoyed at the question. “You may be right, actually. But there’s only one way to be sure, and I will stop at NOTHING to make Celestia mine! The sorcerer challenges me at his peril!” Then he snorted in amusement. “And what chance would the pitiful unicorn have against me if he couldn’t even best YOU?”

“Way to kick a stallion when he’s down, your Highness,” came a tired voice from behind Twilight.

The young Princess jumped in surprise and whirled around, her horn already buzzing with magic. Rite had evidently freed himself from his bonds - unsurprising, given that Twilight hadn’t had time to neutralize his magic abilities - and was limping through the forest toward his draconic ally.

Twilight didn’t hesitate, firing a magic shot at the sorcerer the moment she had a good fix on his location. Rite’s horn lit up in response, but rather than defending himself or firing back, he teleported some twenty feet away to reappear in front of Kamikazan. “Thank you for your assistance in this matter, but we should escape before more soldiers arrive,” he said, craning his neck up to look the dragon in the eyes.

Rite probably expected Twilight to stop attacking him once he was right next to the dragon prince, but he was mistaken. Another magic bolt struck him in the side, pitching the unicorn onto the ground with a pained yelp. Kamikazan couldn’t contain a chuckle, and he clamped his free hand over his jaws to contain his snickering. A moment later another magic blast struck his other hand - the one containing the MacGuffin Stone - cutting his chortling short.

“I imagine you think you’re going to stall me long enough for your winged friends to come back around and find us,” Kamikazan mused while the alicorn charged toward him, “but no.”

Kamikazan opened his jaws, and a billowing wave of fire descended on the oncoming pony. Twilight squeaked in surprise and shifted her magic focus, stumbling to a halt and raising a barrier just in time to block the inferno.

“It’s time to go, sorcerer,” the dragon growled while his body was consumed in bright light. After a few seconds the mass of glowing energy popped, leaving behind Kamikazan’s smaller hybrid body.

Rite said nothing, pushing himself up while his horn crackled anew. Kamikazan stepped forward to stand between him and Twilight, regarding the mare with lofty disdain.

“I can hardly fault you for properly serving Celess at great risk to your life, but I offer you a warning, mare: The next time you think to oppose me, I won’t abide by Rite’s foolish sentiments for equine life,” Kamikazan opened his palm, leering at the MacGuffin Stone before smirking at Twilight again. “Farewell.”

Blood Rite and Kamikazan vanished in a puff of silvery white magic, mere seconds before a lightning bolt crashed into the spot where they’d stood.

“Tch! Did I miss? They couldn’t have possibly dodged that, could they?”

General Wrath swooped down on the scorched clearing with a pair of pegasi soldiers holding formation behind her. She briefly made note of Twilight Sparkle, who appeared to be laying on the ground with her eyes squeezed shut and her hooves over her ears, and then continued scanning the combat area. Eventually her gaze settled on the changeling, and her eyes narrowed to slits.

“A spy. And it’s still alive. Seize it,” the pegasus commanded, jabbing a foreleg at the shapeshifter. Immediately the two soldier with her descended on the body, blades gripped in their teeth.

The changeling twitched and started to get up, but the armored ponies landed in front and behind it before it even regained its footing. The hapless drone promptly fell down again, releasing a miserable whimper.

Wrath dropped down to the site of her last lightning bolt, landing and taking several seconds to scan her surroundings. After she was confident that she couldn’t see any signs of her targets, she finally turned to address Twilight Sparkle.

“I’m guessing the target escaped via teleport somehow? If that even was the target. I’m not sure precisely what happened, but I’m pretty sure the lizard didn’t fly out of the area,” the General asked irritably.

“WHAT? I’M SORRY, WHAT BLIZZARD?” Twilight shouted. Her ears were still ringing from the thunderclap, and her vision hadn’t completely recovered either.

Wrath’s muzzle scrunched up in embarrassment, and then she sighed. “Right. My fault. I really hate this side effect of the Blitz Boots.” Then she took a deep breath and spoke again. “PLEASE FOLLOW US! WE’LL DEBRIEF YOU BACK AT CANTERLOT!” she shouted, carefully enunciating every word.

“OH! THANK YOU,” Twilight turned and gestured to Spike, who was watching from the relative safety of the non-burning trees. “COME ON, SPIKE! WE’RE GOING!”

The dragon assistant rushed out from his hiding place and climbed on Twilight’s back. She spread her wings, and after a brief wave of vertigo passed, Twilight and Spike took to the air. The pair of pegasi were airborne a few seconds later with the changeling buzzing along beside them, connected by a chain that was secured through one of its hoof-holes.

Wrath took another moment to review the battlefield, and the General couldn’t repress a grimace. She didn’t quite understand what had happened here yet, and strictly speaking her objective had been to drive the dragon away to begin with, but somehow this felt like a loss.

“Wretched lizards,” the armored mare grumbled, finally vaulting into the sky herself. “FORM UP AND WATCH YOUR SIX, PONIES! LET’S SOAR!”

Ranma Saotome had a lot of bad dreams.

Usually, those dreams revolved around being trapped in awkward situations as a girl or being surrounded by cats. Occasionally, though, he ended up in nightmares more meaningful and harrowing. These sorts of dreams often involved a disastrous loss to a powerful enemy (or, more embarrassingly, a weak enemy with a key technique or unexpected advantage). The feelings of helplessness - or worse, the shame of an avoidable failure - tended to weigh much more heavily on the martial artist than his age old traumas.

As Ranma gazed despondently at the blazing ruins of Nerima, he was pretty sure it was going to be one of those dreams.

The Tendo Dojo, where he had been a houseguest for almost two years, burned. Its much-abused timbers collapsed bit by bit, and the building shuddered. The building had been subject to years of intense damage and hasty repairs, and it showed in its final moments. It seemed to crumble at twice the rate of the other structures on Soun Tendo’s property, and its pyre burned higher and hotter as well.

Ranma sat on the edge of some unknown stranger’s roof across the street, quietly watching the destruction of the only place he had ever thought of as home. The sun loomed in the cloudless sky above, its profile larger than he ever remembered. There were no people, or animals, or even cars in the streets. Just Ranma and his old city.

“You could have saved them if you were any good.” A gruff, familiar voice said from behind him. “Hell, you didn’t even have to actually defeat the clowns. All you had to do was not be so damn gullible! And you failed. As usual.”

Genma Saotome walked up next to Ranma, scowling down at the burning dojo. The man wore his usual white gi, with a bandanna to cover his bald head and wire-rim glasses. His hands gripped the cloth belt around his waist that contained his considerable girth, and he was barefoot.

Ranma didn’t look up at his father. He raised one hand, grimacing when he saw that the MacGuffin Stone was gripped tightly in his fist. He let go of the gem, but it didn’t fall. It stuck to his palm, adhering more tightly than any glue.

“Pathetic. All that work to bring you up as a martial artist, and for what?” Genma sneered. “What was all my effort for, boy?”

A vein popped up on Ranma’s head. “Well Pop, I’m pretty much the only thing that survived the end of the world. That’s something.” He dropped his hand with the MacGuffin Stone and craned his neck back to look at the sky. “They could’ve done worse for the last human on Earth.”

“Last human? Bah! You don’t even have that anymore!” Genma snarled.

Ranma blinked, and then raised his hand again. Or rather, hoof. The MacGuffin stone was still stuck there, of course, wedged uncomfortably in the soft inner frog.

“Oh, don’t give me that! You turn into a panda!” Ranma snapped, his ears flipping down.

“I can change back!” the elder Saotome growled.

“I might be able to eventually! Get off my case, old man!” Ranma jumped up onto all fours, his tail sticking straight out behind him.

Genma crossed his arms over his chest, sneering at his son. “Just look at you now. Heir to the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts. Everything I taught you, everything I worked for, all of it wasted!”

“It isn’t wasted!” the stallion retorted hotly. “I’m still a martial artist! I still defend people!”

“You defend horses, not people!” Genma shouted back, “and you’ve let them down too! You can’t even do THAT right!”

Ranma jumped at his father with an enraged snarl, swinging a foreleg for the elder Saotome’s face. Genma spun out of the way, avoiding the flying hoof and turning around in time to grab the cursed pony by his braided tail.

“H-Hey! Let go of me!” Ranma flailed angrily as he was held upside-down, unable to reach his tormentor with his relatively short legs.

“You could have countered that at ten years old back when you had hands,” Genma chided, glowering at the stallion. “Martial arts is for men, not ponies! It would have been better if you’d burned with the rest of humanity rather than shaming your family with-GAH!”

Something struck Genma in the back, knocking him to the roof’s surface. He dropped his transformed son, who landed lightly on his front hooves and then leapt backwards to get some more distance. Once Genma recovered, both Saotomes took a moment to search for the source of the interference.

A pyre flared up near the edge of the roof, blasting sparks into the air and depositing… something onto the tiles. It too was awash in flames, although it shifted to form a discrete shape: A relatively small, four-legged shape, with eyes of bright white embers.

“I suppose this is where you get your horse girlfriend to fight for you,” Genma sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wonder which it will be? The snotty blue one or the preachy purple one?”

Ranma bristled. “I don’t need anyone’s help to take you down, old man!”

“But for the record,” the flame-shrouded pony interjected, “Trixie is the snotty blue one.”

Ranma flinched in surprise at hearing the illusionist’s voice, and then flinched again as an explosion of light came from her horn. His surroundings melted away into a blur of white, and his other senses followed.

Genma was gone, as was the Tendo dojo, the conflagration in his hometown, and the blazing mare with a familiar voice. Pale whiteness stretched out in every direction, like a flat, endless plain covered in snow.

Or perhaps ashes.

Ranma looked down. The MacGuffin Stone was sitting there between his hooves now, apparently having detached from him during the bizarre transition.

“Honestly the fat dead guy had a point about you letting us down, but it’s not like you didn’t try hard enough.” The gem pulsed with every syllable while Trixie’s voice filled Ranma’s ears. “Even you can only do so much. You’re not going to save everybody.”

Ranma grimaced, leaning down toward the gem. “No, I can! Just give me another chance! I always win!”

“If you always win, you wouldn’t need second chances,” the gem seemed to sing, taunting him. “You don’t have to be the hero, you know. What’s the point of putting your life on the line fighting dragons and sorcerers and doom cults anyway? Why do you care?”

“I just do! I do care!” Ranma shouted, almost pleading as he leaned down toward the gemstone. “I can beat all of them! I have to!”

“Why?” The MacGuffin Stone twinkled, and for a moment Ranma thought he saw Trixie’s reflection smirking at him from behind its gleaming exterior.

“Because it’s a martial artist’s duty to protect the weak! This is the right thing to do!” Ranma announced hotly.

“Nobody gave you that duty. Nobody who matters anymore, at least. Is that the only reason you suffer so much?”

Ranma cringed. “Well, that… I… I want to help you! It doesn’t matter why!”

The artifact pulsed with arcane light. “Then why did you leave?”

Ranma’s face darkened. He didn’t answer the question.

“It’s going to be all right. You’re not alone anymore.” A new voice came from behind him, and Ranma felt a fan of feathers lay over his back. “You might have made a mistake. Or maybe it was the best choice under the circumstances. Either way, you don’t have to face the consequences alone. Havoc…”

The voice was indistinct but decidedly feminine, and Ranma turned his head to see who it was.

“It’s time fer dinner,” Applejack said.

Ranma bolted upright, nearly hitting Applejack in the nose. She released a startled whinny, stumbling backward, and for a few tense seconds both of them stared at each other in shock.

“… Did you say dinner?” Ranma asked, having the decency to blush.

“Uh… Yeah. Wasn’t sure if ya were hungry’r not since ya been sleepin’,” the farmer drawled. “Ah take it yer up fer eatin’?”

Ranma nodded his head rapidly and hopped out of bed. Applejack eyed the martial artist warily, clearing a path toward the hallway.

“Ya were kickin’ and moanin’ a bit ‘fore ya woke up. Bad dreams?” she asked.

“Eh, I’ve had worse. At least there were no cats,” Ranma grumbled. “Also I got to see my pop for a bit before he was consumed by flames. It’s been a while.”

“Sounds awful. Let’s go eat.”

Princess Luna and Celestia sat in grim silence within Celestia’s study. Across from them stood Twilight Sparkle and General Wrath, the latter of whom seemed considerably more upset than the former. Spike stood behind them, quietly twiddling his thumbs while the equine soldier fumed.

“That wretched, back-stabbing, cowardly… URGH!” Wrath’s wings quivered angrily, leaving a few azure feathers drifting down to the carpets. “Rebellion and treason is bad enough! But now he’s teaming up with dragons and changelings?! And this mule thinks he can just pop in and attack our citizens less than a mile from the capital?!”

“From what I can tell Blood Rite wasn’t working with the changelings, no. But, well… the rest of that seems accurate, yes,” Twilight said. “Particularly the last point. He really can just pop in and attack us at will, apparently.”

“And in that respect I give my heartfelt thanks to you for your efforts, General Wrath,” Celestia said. “Rite has troubled us for some time, but this is the first occasion that Equestria has managed to intervene directly.”

“For all the good that did!” Wrath spat, her ears pinned back in shame. “Not only did the traitor and the lizard get away, but they took the blasted artifact, to boot!”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Twilight insisted, hanging her own head. “The MacGuffin Stone was my responsibility, not yours. There were safer ways to get it to Canterlot, but I didn’t think Blood Rite would attack on the way!” she groaned. “Which I really should have! He can sense the MacGuffin Stone as well, so he can tell when it’s on the move!”

“He can? How?” Princess Celestia asked.

“Those of us who have interacted with the artifact have some sort of… connection to it, apparently,” Twilight explained. “That’s actually how I tracked Ranma down; because I was trapped in the gem briefly, I can tell what direction it’s in whenever I think about it.”

“So THAT’S what that is!” Luna interjected, sounding alarmed.

“Luna? You have this connection as well?” her sister asked.

“Every time we discussed the artifact I would feel… something tugging at my attention. I didn’t dwell on the subject for very long…”

“The best way to use it is to simply close your eyes and think about the MacGuffin Stone. Then you can get a clear compass heading,” Twilight explained, squeezing her eyes shut. “It doesn’t give any other hints as to its location, like how close it is, but it gives us a direction at least.”

“Aye, you’re correct,” Luna agreed, grimacing with her eyes closed. “The beacon lay south-by-southeast! This means we may pursue Blood Rite wherever he goes!”

Wrath slammed an armored hoof into the floor and snorted hotly. “Princess, I request permission to deploy a hunting wing! I’ll track that mule down and deliver him to you personally!”

“You have my permission, General,” Celestia began, “but you will not be enough. We may have a heading now, but Rite is very clever and surely aware of this ability. He will not let you corner him so easily. You’ll have to take somepony with you who possesses this ‘MacGuffin sense.’”

“I volunteer!” Luna and Twilight shouted at the same time.

Celestia looked exasperated. “Even with a guard escort, I can’t let either of you lead the way directly into Rite’s lair. We know that he wants to capture a Princess and that he has a powerful ally in the dragon prince. It’s out of the question.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “But we’re the only ones with a MacGuffin sense. If it’s not going to be one of us, who’s going to do it?”

“There’s one other pony of whom we’re aware who has an extensive association with the artifact,” Celestia said wryly. “Conveniently, this pony also has wings. I think. I still don’t quite understand the extent of Havoc’s abilities.”

Wrath clicked her tongue and Luna nodded along with Celestia’s decision. Twilight’s jaw fell open in surprise.

“What? Ranma? Why Ranma?” the youngest Princess asked.

Celestia seemed slightly surprised at the question. “Aside from the fact that he isn’t a pony that Rite needs to complete his plans, he’s faced both Rite and Kamikazan repeatedly in the past and won, hasn’t he?”

“Well, yes, of course. But why would he do it?” Twilight asked. “Ranma would be perfect for tracking down Rite, except that the only reason Rite got the MacGuffin Stone is because he gave it up. And he gave it up because he doesn’t care about it anymore and doesn’t want to deal with all the problems it generates, like having to fight sorcerers and dragons for it.”

Wrath frowned. “I’m not crazy about enlisting a pony who was a major enemy of the state just twenty-four hours ago on an important mission, but surely no Equestrian would refuse such a task from Princess Celestia herself.”

“Ranma Saotome is not an Equestrian,” Twilight said flatly. “He’s an ancient warrior displaced through time by magical means who was fighting off pony soldiers just last night.”

“Are you saying he wouldn’t help us?” Celestia asked.

“I can’t say for sure, but I feel confident in that assessment, yes.” Twilight creased her brow. “More to the point, given the situation, why should he? Rite doesn’t threaten him or anything he cares about. Ranma has already done tremendous damage to Rite’s efforts and stopped him from victimizing Equestrian Princesses. Twice! And then the moment he gives the MacGuffin Stone over to me, Rite immediately steals it back! Why would he let us have it after that? Even if he agreed to track Rite down he'd just keep the gem this time!”

The others seemed appropriately perturbed by the explanation, if not also taken aback to hear it from Twilight.

“Didn’t Princess Celestia give this guy a pardon? Shouldn’t he be more thankful? The Princesses don’t absolve just anyone of arson!” Wrath asked with a huff.

“Please, don’t get me started,” Twilight grumbled back. “The short answer is no, he does not feel indebted to Equestria for ceasing its pursuit of him.”

“Although he feels real indebted to you,” Spike mumbled.

Celestia didn’t miss the aside, and she took a step toward her student. “Twilight, if you ask him to take this on as a personal favor, do you think he’d accept?”

“A… personal favor? To me?” the smaller alicorn asked.

“Yes. If it’s a matter of friendship, then-“

“NO!!” Twilight shouted, causing the other mares to recoil in shock. The purple mare clenched her teeth and spread her wings partially, looking as if she was about to pounce on somepony. “Are you being serious?! You want me to use my friendship with Ranma to manipulate him into doing our dirty work for us?!” Wrath could swear she saw Twilight’s horn spark briefly.

Luna seemed completely stunned by the outburst, but Celestia quickly regained her footing. “I am requesting that you ask Havoc for a favor, as a friend. He is in a unique position, and possesses skills we do not. There is no deception or manipulation here,” she said sternly. “I realize that you feel responsible for this and you’re quite sympathetic to Havoc’s feelings. I’m not asking you to betray that. But this is the best solution available to us.”

“Also, while I admire your devotion to the whole ‘friendship’ shtick, we may well be talking about the future of Equestria, here,” General Wrath interjected, eyeing Twilight. “If I had to burn a friendship to protect the royal family, that’s not a hard decision to make.”

Twilight glowered at Celestia for a few tense seconds, and then sighed and folded her wings again. “Sorry about that little outburst. You make some good points, but I'm not going to ask Ranma to risk his life again just so I don't have to. If you want him to help, you’re going to have to ask him yourself. Otherwise, I’ll go. Again, the MacGuffin Stone was my responsibility.”

“This is about more than just your ‘responsibilities,’ Sparkle,” Wrath chided. “For all we know this could be a trap specifically to lure you away from anypony who could protect you. Are you really willing to risk handing victory to Rite for the sake of your pride?”

“I would suffer any humiliation to get the MacGuffin Stone back,” Twilight retorted. “I’m refusing to help bring Ranma into this for his sake, not mine. He’s suffered enough for our mistakes.”

Princess Celestia stared silently at her student, her expression inscrutable. Then her shoulders slumped. “I understand. If we cannot get Havoc’s help, then there’s no choice but for Twilight or Luna to go.”

“It should be me,” Twilight said, standing up straighter. “I can handle Blood Rite! If he didn’t have Kamikazan on his side then he wouldn’t have gotten away last time!”

“And my team can handle the lizard,” Wrath growled. Magic sparked around her wings, and Twilight felt a tingle up her spine just from proximity. “We’ll set out right away!”

“You’ll set out tomorrow morning,” Celestia replied calmly. “I want you to be well-rested and prepared. No mistakes, General. Canterlot’s future may lay in your hooves, and my student’s definitely does.”

The pegasus sputtered briefly, attempting to object to the command, but she wilted under Celestia’s stare. “Yes, Princess. We’ll set out once you raise the sun, then.” Wrath bowed, her ears pinned back against her head. “I won’t fail you again.”

“You’re too hard on yourself, General. Had I been in your place, and even known why the attack was happening to begin with, I would have done the same. You saved ponies’ lives today, and that is never a failure.” Celestia gave her a reassuring smile, but it faded quickly. “So… now that that’s settled, I suppose I owe you all an explanation…”

Spike quickly dragged a chair up next to Twilight and sat down, leaning forward eagerly. Twilight’s own expression was more measured, but only barely. Luna likewise shifted position to face her sister rather than standing beside her, as she too had been waiting for this. Only General Wrath seemed uninterested, glaring off to the side at nothing in particular while Celestia gathered herself.

“First… some background. You know that Blood Rite was a student at my school, just like Swan Song. What you may not know - because such records were destroyed - is that in his youth he was my personal protégé, as Twilight is now.”

Twilight nodded slowly. “He mentioned that, yes… so what happened? Why did he turn against you?”

Celestia winced, badly, and Twilight immediately wished she could take the question back. She might have been annoyed enough to challenge her teacher, but this was obviously a very painful memory for her.

“Rite… Rite didn’t turn against me,” Celestia whispered. “I turned against him.”

“Rubbish,” Wrath spat. “The freak had his rebellion plastered on his flank. You gave him MERCY, and he betrayed that!”

If the General’s interjection was supposed to make Celestia feel better, it obviously wasn’t working. The white Princess stared at the floor, a tear crawling down her cheek. “My advisors are… divided as to whether my actions were appropriate. It’s time to tell the full truth, so that you all can judge for yourselves.”

She straightened and cleared her throat again. “Rite was an impressive magic user when he came into my care, as you’d expect. He was relentlessly cheerful and optimistic as well, and had an easy time making friends in the Academy.” The barest hint of a smile tugged at her lips. “Many ponies were wary or intimidated by him due to his name and his skill at magic. But such attitudes rarely lasted long. His good will and charming nature were too much for any but the most stubborn grouch.”

Celestia briefly glanced up at her audience. Luna looked perplexed; Twilight and Spike were fascinated. Wrath was grinding her jaw, staring out a window while her hoof tapped impatiently. “Blood Rite’s one failing, if it could even be called that, is that he didn’t have a cutie mark even as he progressed into his teenage years and completed his courses. There was a great deal of speculation as to why, if I recall correctly, but he for one didn’t care. He seemed uninterested in talk of his true destiny or special talent; he told me that he preferred his future being a blank slate, and he had enough talent in magic that he could hardly ask for any others.”

She fell silent for several seconds, staring up at the ceiling. “Sometimes I still wonder… How much of his destiny is my fault? Our fate is printed on our bodies, more or less, for the entire world to see, but it’s still so poorly understood. If I had tried a little harder, or maybe loved him a little more dearly, or perhaps left him alone entirely, would the result have been the same? Should I have seen it all coming?” Celestia turned a regretful gaze on Luna. “It wasn’t the first time something like this happened, after all.”

Luna squirmed uncomfortably, and a growl came from Wrath. “Your Highness, please refrain from any long tangents. I believe the next part of the story is how Blood Rite almost killed you.”

Twilight’s tail stood straight out in shock, and Celestia grimaced. “That’s overstating the incident, General… but as you say, on to the point.”

The Princess of the Sun took a deep breath. “It happened while we were practicing barriers. When we studied magic, I enjoyed giving Rite practical obstacles and watching him find a magical solution to overcome it. One kind of exercise was creating progressively stronger force barriers that he would have to break or get around.”

“We’ve done those,” Twilight remarked. “You usually put the dome around an old pillow or something or make a screen protecting a raised target.”

“Yes. Nowadays I place the shields protecting inanimate, expendable objects. When I was training Rite I didn’t bother,” Celestia said wryly. “I would sit within the barrier myself, eating lunch or reading a novel as if I were oblivious to the pony trying to break through my defenses. I didn’t fear getting hurt by my students’ exercises, and anyway it discouraged them from trying to get through the barrier with brute force, which is almost never the best solution. So there we were, the two of us: I lounging on a chaise reading the paper beneath a magical dome bubble, and he slowly stalking around me and occasionally casting spells. He wasn’t especially frustrated. We’d had no recent arguments or festering personal clashes. It was no different from a hundred other afternoon lessons. Until… it wasn’t.”

Twilight, Luna, and Spike all leaned forward in anticipation.

“It all seems so innocuous in retrospect, so… pointlessly tragic. I heard him mumble something like ‘okay, well that’s new,' and then a surprised shout. Then the pain hit me.” She shook her head. “A blade of black and crimson was suddenly embedded in the chaise, just above my wing. It had pierced my barrier in an instant, like it was a soap bubble.” Celestia squirmed as Twilight’s eyes widened. “Rite was slack-jawed and pale, his horn still pulsing with unknown power. Very pale, in fact. His mane, which was pitch black then, suddenly sported a shock of white on one side. But the most obvious change was his cutie mark, which… well, it’s as you say. It matched my own, struck through with a blood-red slash.”

Twilight gulped loudly. Celestia stared at the floor, a few more tears dribbling down her cheeks.

“… And? Then what happened?” Spike asked eagerly.

“Exile,” Celestia said weakly. “Blood Rite was blameless. He apologized profusely for the accident and swore he would never use such magic again. He had barely cut me anyway, and he had been the one to call for medical assistance while I was still stunned and terrified at what had happened. He was appalled at his new cutie mark; I had been witness to many great disappointments and setbacks in his life, and never before had I seen him so heartbroken and ashamed. But none of that mattered. Exile. His existence was scrubbed from Canterlot’s archives, photo by photo, line by line, and then the effort slowly extended to the rest of Equestria. We didn’t take any such steps as drastic as erasing memories or imprisoning ponies who spoke of Blood Rite, but the public consciousness mostly cooperated with the purge. In less than a generation Blood Rite, once a celebrated hero of Equestria and Princess Celestia’s talented heir, was all but forgotten.”

“It was, and still IS, an almost ridiculously merciful fate for the mule,” Wrath said, barely keeping a rein on her temper. “Firebrand told me how hard it was to keep his troops from hunting Rite down and executing him. They were furious at hearing he’d be allowed to leave.”

“Oh, how I wish I could blame Rite’s sentence on overzealous protectors who would have taken the law into their own hooves,” Celestia said bitterly, still hanging her head. “But the fault isn’t theirs. When Rite was vulnerable, scared, and needed my support the most, I was too afraid to stand by him. I could have refused to punish him for the accident. I could have overruled my guards’ commands. I could have-“

“You could have hosted a bucking assassin for another decade until some other twist of fate or circumstance turned him against you!” Wrath snapped. “Do you seriously think it’s your fault that he’s on a crusade to overthrow the royal order right now, or might it have something to do with the one-mare hit list stamped on his rear?! This was inevitable!”

“It’s certainly easy to see it that way, isn’t it?” Celestia whispered miserably. “Who knows where else the line might have fallen if I hadn’t sent him away? But I did send him away. I took Rite’s life up until then, his efforts and his prestige, his friendships and his future, and I discarded it. He’d earned that acclaim and his place by my side, but when it risked endangering myself I erased it all. And then I delicately explained that his banishment was an act of mercy while staring at his crushed, terrified expression from behind a phalanx of soldiers. The memory makes me want to vomit.”

Wrath looked like she was about to argue further, but Celestia bent one wing up like a palm, signaling for her to stop. “But those mistakes are long past and we have new errors to reckon with, don’t we? I only have a vague idea of Rite’s plot, but it seems dethroning me is merely part of it. He resents me for my betrayal, but his deeper grudge is with the bonds of fate that have steered him to this path and it seems he intends to do something about it. It’s even possible, in a twisted way, that he thinks this plan of his is an act of defiance against his destiny rather than its fulfillment. But his intentions are barely relevant. The MacGuffin Stone must be recovered so that he cannot complete his scheme.”

“There is, of course, another way to put a stop to his insurgency if we manage to track him down. Permanently,” Wrath said tightly.

“I will not grant permission to kill Blood Rite,” Celestia retorted. Her voice was sad, despite the firmness of her words. “This vile grudge has escalated far enough. If he is disarmed of the artifact, that is enough. He cannot harm me without it, and he has no grievance toward Equestria’s citizens otherwise. You are to recover the MacGuffin Stone, destroy any other weapons he’s constructed, and then leave him be.”

Wrath seethed quietly as she bowed her head. “As you command, your Highness. I assume you’re not soliciting principled objections to this order? I don’t suppose you’d be willing to compromise with a lengthy prison sentence?”

“I am thankful for your guidance, General, but I intend to smother this spark of rebellion, not set another conflagration alight. Stealing away Rite’s ambitions once again will have to be enough,” Celestia said firmly. “I chose exile as his lifelong sentence. I will not have the banished filling my prisons.”

“Wow,” Spike said breathlessly, awed by both the tale of Rite’s past and the grim discussion of his immediate future. “Is there a story like this behind Kamikazan, too?”

“The story behind Kamikazan is that he’s in love with me and I don’t like him back,” Celestia huffed. “Once upon a time he got very angry about it and hurt some ponies over the matter, and for that I buried him in a volcano. The end.”

“Oh. That’s not very dramatic,” the young dragon mumbled, looking disappointed.

Twilight frowned. “If he’s such a belligerent and dangerous individual, why did you send him after Ranma?”

Celestia suppressed a groan. She hardly wanted to revisit this matter now. “I have no excuse, Twilight. I knew Kamikazan wasn’t going to simply leave me alone, so I thought to use his obsession as leverage to solve some other problem. It was distasteful and reckless, and I’m surprised Havoc forgave me so easily.” Then she grimaced. “Also, I can’t help but think it somehow set the stage for Blood Rite to join forces with him. The two don’t have similar goals, and I can’t imagine why one would help the other. Getting the Prince of Dragons involved in the chase for the MacGuffin was surely an error.”

Twilight nodded slowly. She found the admission somewhat unsatisfying, but she wasn’t sure what else her teacher could offer her. Celestia had approached this meeting with an impressive degree of honesty and humility, and Twilight didn’t feel like pressing her any further just because she wasn’t sympathetic enough to Ranma.

“Okay… So I think there’s just one more thing to discuss, then,” Twilight prompted. “What exactly is this special talent that Rite has? What does it do and how can we beat it?”

“It can create magic blades, apparently,” Celestia offered with a tired shrug. “Unfortunately, neither I nor Rite himself had much more idea of what he’d stumbled upon.”

“There are theories, of course,” Wrath interjected. “Firebrand says that there’s a very rare kind of magic that pops up among unicorn populations once every century or so. It doesn’t have a name… or rather, it has several names from dozens of different but suspiciously similar legends. Soul magic, cursed light, spirit sickness, blood magic, lifecrafting…” The General shook her head sadly. “The thread that links all those stories together is that the user possesses some mysterious, inborn sorcery that’s completely unknown to civilization and clearly different from conventional unicorn magic. Aside from being bizarre and powerful, it also draws its energy directly from the user’s life force rather than their mana. The stories usually end in dramatic explosions or desperate sorcerer duels that leave the mystery magic user dead even after they win.”

Luna drew a wing up to her muzzle, rubbing the wingtip across her chin thoughtfully. “I have heard of such stories. There are many wizards who dream of discovering a font of inborn power, suddenly becoming the mightiest of their peers and ascending into legend.” She shook her head. “Of course, such tales are invariably warnings of the dangers of such power and the hubris of its practitioners. Have we any modern, detailed records of such ponies?”

“Sounds like we did until… uh…” Spike trailed off when Celestia winced again. “Never mind…”

“We’re not aware of any other living user of this power,” Wrath admitted. “Firebrand suspects there are a lot more than are indicated by the legends, because if you have this life magic or whatever then your most obvious courses of action are experimenting with it and killing yourself right away in an inexplicable magic accident or never using it again ever and living a perfectly ordinary life, neither of which are likely going to make it into ancient fables. Rite seems to have used it some more since the incident, but not so much to kill himself. Unfortunately.”

Celestia grimaced. “His mane was still mostly black back when he was exiled, and his tail entirely so. I assume the rest has been bleached with the development of this special magic slowly drinking away his life force… Or maybe it was simply the stress of surviving on his own for so long.”

“So we really don’t know anything about it other than it being able to defeat magic barriers, and using it could kill him after it kills us,” Twilight said, grimacing. “That’s less than ideal, but now that I think about it he didn’t use anything especially strange against me during our duel earlier today. He probably isn’t willing to use this power against just anypony.”

“Hay, since it’s related to his ‘true destiny’ maybe this magic only works on Princess Celestia,” Wrath grumbled. “But the upshot is that we’ll be probably be fighting a desperate sorcerer-soldier and his pet dragon with a suicide contingency spell.”

“It will not come to that,” Celestia said, her voice cold and firm. “Rite may well be prepared to throw his life away to end mine, but he isn’t going to kill himself to spite the soldiers trying to foil him. He’s not petty.”

Wrath seemed unconvinced. “I’ll take that under advisement, your Highness, but it would be nothing short of negligent of me not to plan for the worst. Cornered animals are the most dangerous.” She offered a slight nod to the Princess of the Sun. “Will that be all? I have much to do even if we’re not heading out tonight.”

“Yes, General Wrath. You are dismissed. I thank you for your assistance and understanding in these matters," Celestia replied.

With a deeper bow, the armored pegasus excused herself from the room. The Princesses waited until the door clicked shut behind her before Celestia turned her attention to Twilight again.

“Twilight, I will arrange lodgings for you tonight and a supply pack for tomorrow. We’ll see to it Spike is cared for until your return as well.” Even at this stage, after the arrangements had been agreed upon, she felt her stomach flip at the thought of her student being sent along with her soldiers. “… But if by chance you reconsider, my door is always open to you, my student.”

“I’m not going to reconsider,” Twilight said sharply, her voice becoming heated again. “I can do this!”

“I believe in you, Twilight,” Celestia said soothingly. “But you don’t need to prove anything to anypony. The safety and future of the kingdom is my responsibility, not yours.”

Twilight started, surprised at hearing the same line she had used on Ranma earlier that day. “That… That’s true. I don’t,” she said, her tone calming. “This isn’t about measuring up to anypony. This is about the task at hand, Princess. It has to be done, and there’s nopony better than me to do it!”

Celestia grimaced. “I understand. I just… To fight my old student, unfairly banished, and pulled into conflict by the yoke of destiny… I wish there were some other way,” she lamented. “The path you embark on has no happy endings. There’s no great lesson to be learned or bond of friendship to forge during this task.”

“I dunno, maybe you and Wrath can hit it off,” Spike interrupted, poking Twilight in the back of her leg. “She seemed kinda testy, but I think-“

Celestia cleared her throat loudly, and the young dragon quickly shut up. “As I was saying… This is different from the quests I’ve given you before, and I’d hoped to spare you from getting involved entirely. That was naïve of me. But please, be careful. Blood Rite may well have spent decades planning my downfall and I have only the slightest idea what he is really capable of. Meanwhile, he understands Equestria’s security and magical studies like few other ponies alive; he helped design some of it, in fact.”

“That’s daunting, but I think that finding him is going to be the main challenge,” Twilight murmured, closing her eyes briefly and checking the direction of the MacGuffin Stone.

“Why would that be the main challenge? You can check where he is by blinking, can’t you?” Spike mumbled.

“Yes, and he knows it. Blood Rite has proven himself to be nothing if not a cunning strategist, and he still has a network of teleport gates, which means he can still travel faster than we can by air. If we can actually get to him and cut off his escape, then I’m confident we’ll beat him,” Twilight insisted.

Celestia nodded sadly. “Do what you must, my student.”

Twilight bowed and she and Spike started heading for the exit. As her magic reached out and started to turn the doorknob, however, she hesitated. Her horn dimmed and she turned her head back.

“Before I go… I want to apologize for snapping at you earlier,” Twilight said, her ears flipping down. “My objection still stands, but I know you were just trying to find the best solution available.”

Celestia looked relieved at the apology, and a small smile crept onto her face. “I understand, Twilight, and I accept your judgment. I hadn’t considered that he may keep the artifact from us after recapturing it from Rite… despite him doing exactly that up until now.”

“I’m still somewhat confused about that,” Luna admitted. “Is it not of paramount importance that Rite be stopped? What does it matter who owns the gem so long as it isn’t him? I believe it would be prudent to at least inquire if Saotome might help.”

Twilight shook her head. “I just don’t want to pull Ranma into our problems anymore. And putting that aside… well… he can probably defeat any enemy we set him against, but his intervention really does tend to complicate things in unexpected ways. I can handle this mission. I WILL handle this mission!”

Luna still seemed skeptical, but Celestia at last seemed satisfied. “Thank you, Twilight. Now please, get some food and rest for tomorrow. You have a long flight ahead you.”

Princess Luna heaved a weary sigh as the moon finally rose to its place of prominence in the night sky. She stood on her bedroom balcony overlooking the twinkling lights of Canterlot City below, but her gaze kept wandering. Not to the vast expanse of stars above or to the mountains cast against it by the pale moonlight, but to a canvas leaning haphazardly against the railing.

Luna took up the picture in her magical grip, lifting it up in front of her. It was a sketch of Ranma Saotome, one leg extended in a furious hook. The image was crude, and she had left it unfinished. The image of the stallion in valiant combat hadn’t come as easily to her mind recently, and she’d eventually lost interest in the drawing.

A faint squeak and gentle scratch at her shin reminded her that Tiberius was about. Luna looked down at her loyal pet, and then stretched a wing down to lift him up onto her back.

“Such a fascinating creature Saotome is… But it would seem it is simply not to be,” the Princess of the Night said glumly, looking back at the canvas. “It did my heart well to see him again, but he paid me no interest. He was not even conscious to witness what little aid I could offer upon the occasion. Twilight Sparkle delivered him to us. Sister cleared his name by our laws. All I could do was carry him to bed, and the Element of Honesty would not even allow me to stay with him until he awoke. Bah!”

She slumped onto a large pillow left near the railing, letting the drawing fall back into its previous resting place. Tiberius dropped down next to her, nuzzling into her chest fur. “I never imagined that after I convinced Twilight Sparkle to aid my pursuit of Saotome that she would then depart to track him down again after we found him the first time. Is her passion truly so much greater than mine? I’m not even sure she feels for Saotome as I do.”

“Well, why didn’t you try again before she could?”

Luna winced. “I… I wouldn’t have known what to do were I to find him,” she mumbled sadly. “Our first meeting was glorious! A thing of fable and legend! Our second quickly descended into farce. Pride, ignorance, and pure infuriating happenstance combined to sour the occasion. I actually demanded a duel! A duel, against the stallion I intended to court!” She huffed irritably. “Not that I’m dissatisfied with our combat, necessarily, but the idea that… wait…”

Luna suddenly jumped up, her wings spread wide and her horn sparking. Discord was on the other end of her balcony, leaning against the railing with his cheek propped up on his fist. “Discord! What are you doing here?! Begone!”

“Oh, don’t mind me. What were you saying about the combat? I’m listening,” the draconequus replied.

Luna growled, and her horn sparked some more. Discord sighed and held up his hands in surrender.

“All right, all right, if you insist… I just wanted to help, but I know when I’m not wanted,” he said sadly.

“YOU want to help?” Luna scoffed. Her horn dimmed, and she relaxed her stance so that it didn’t look like she was ready to attack the intruder. “With what?”

“With your little problem! I couldn’t help but overhear that you pine for a stallion who has no feelings or even great respect for you. It’s so tragic!” Discord took a step forward, his hands clasped together and a single tear crawling down his cheek. “A Princess in love, pouring her heart out to the ever-silent stars and her pet rat to bemoan her failures! Unparalleled power and beauty, yet you are alone and unloved! Forever, probably.”

Luna’s expression went from annoyed back to angry. “Tiberius is a POSSUM, not a rat! And spare me your false pity! I will not have you sneak into my quarters and mock me, Discord!” said possum scampered atop her head and shook his tiny fist at Discord from behind her horn.

“Don’t lose yourself over a little mild teasing, your Highness. I really DO want to help!” Discord insisted.

“And what, praythee, could you possibly help with in this conundrum?” Luna asked, her eyes narrowed. “Have you some key advice or insight you wish to share that would allow me to seize Saotome’s attention?”

“Well, yes. But that would take too long and be boring. I have a much more direct solution!” Discord slunk closer to the dark Princess, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“What is it?” Luna asked, a bit of nervousness creeping into her voice. “I very much doubt it will matter, but you’ve earned my curiosity, at least.”

“How would you…” Discord drew out the word, tapping a finger against Luna’s royal peytral, “like to MARRY Havoc?”

Luna blinked, uncomprehending. “I… would like that very much, I expect. That is the point of courtship, is it not?”

“Great!” Discord clapped his hands together. “Does Thursday work for you?”

The dark alicorn recoiled, her eyes wide and her mouth agape. “What?! You mean… now?! You would marry us at once?!”

“Well, not AT ONCE at once. We need a day to plan and put out invitations, so the day after tomorrow is best. Princess Cadence would hardly forgive you for not inviting her to your wedding; you know how she is.” Discord started scratching at his chin. “I think a smaller ceremony would be ideal, don’t you? OH! I know, let’s hold it in Ponyville!”

“Hold! You cannot do this!” Luna protested.

“Oh, don’t worry, there’s hardly ever a reservation wait over there. The catering shouldn’t be a problem,” Discord paced back and forth, staring upward in thought. “Rarity will have to pull an all-nighter to have dresses ready in time, but frankly I get the impression she lives for this sort of thing anyway.”

“DISCORD! STOP!” Luna commanded. Once the draconequus stopped talking, she took a deep breath. “What is the meaning of this? How can you intend to marry us so quickly?”

“Well it won’t be me marrying you, really. It would have to be a registered agent of the state to be ‘official.’ And you definitely want it to be official because that makes it very easy to transfer property when one partner dies and though I hate to say it Havoc isn't-“

“DISCORD!” Luna barked again. “My contention has less to do with the minutiae of the wedding planning and more to do with the temperament of the groom! When did Saotome agree to wed me?!”

“Okay, so TECHNICALLY he hasn’t yet. But why wouldn’t he agree? You’re a Princess! And quite a looker, by horse standards!” Discord assured her, grinning and giving her a thumbs-up.

“As you no doubt overheard before interjecting, my feelings for Saotome are unrequited,” Luna huffed. “Even were I to agree to this bizarre plan, it will collapse the moment it requires the cooperation of the groom!”

“No it won’t,” Discord said simply. “So: are you in or are you in?”

Luna said nothing, simply glaring at him. Eventually Discord’s happy grin slipped away, and he offered a sad shrug.

“All right, I get it. You’re not THAT into him. That’s fine. Twilight Sparkle is here tonight, right?” Discord started walking toward the exit, only to find a blue force screen suddenly appear in front of him.

“What?! Sparkle?! Why?!” Luna demanded hotly.

“Well, if you’re not interested, she might be. I probably should have asked her first, really, given that they’re closer, but since you were the one moaning to the sky about it I figured I’d give you first dibs,” Discord explained.

“Do you mean to tell me that Saotome desires Sparkle’s hoof in marriage?” Luna asked. The possibility that Twilight would fall for him had occurred to her, especially as Luna hadn’t been completely forthright about why she’d sought Ranma out to begin with, but she hadn’t really thought that the mousy, book-obsessed pony would interest the strange warrior stallion.

Evidently, neither had Discord. “You’re awfully hung up on whether or not Havoc wants to get married this week,” he muttered.

“It’s of paramount importance to the event!” Luna retorted.

“And I’m telling you not to worry about it,” the spirit of chaos chided, wagging a finger at her. “I’m telling you that if you want, I’ll set you two up to be married in two days. I’ll tell you where and when, and when you arrive Havoc will be there, ready to say ‘I do.’ Honeymoon planning will be all you, of course,” Discord smirked and winked, and Luna’s cheeks flushed deeply. “Or, if you have cold hooves, I’ll go ask Princess Twilight Sparkle if she’s up for some holy matrimony when she gets back from saving Equestria again. Frankly I think she deserves a coltfriend after rescuing your tails so many times, don’t you?”

Luna slapped a wing over her face. “Stars help me, you were simply going to offer her a wedding out of the blue, just as you did to me? What would you do when she refused as well?”

“Well obviously Celestia would be next,” Discord said, shrugging helplessly.

“Sister doesn’t even LIKE Saotome! I suspect she’d as soon see him in irons and sent to the dungeons as kiss him!”

“Probably. But nopony says they have to STAY married…”

Luna slapped her other wing over her face, suppressing the urge to scream. “Why on Equiis are you trying to marry off Saotome in the first place?!”

“He seemed a bit out of sorts the last time we met and I felt a bit sorry for him,” Discord admitted, scratching his cheek. “I thought it might help him feel more at home.”

“That makes no sense!”

“You’re going to have to trust me on that one.” Then Discord appeared next to the dusky alicorn, swinging an arm over her withers and tugging her close. “And if this silly plan just HAPPENS to unite two ponies who are more or less fond of each other in an everlasting union of love or at least a solid weekend of lust, well, I think you’d all be much better for it.”

Tiberius crossed his tiny arms and squeaked something at the draconequus.

“I’m being flippant?!” Discord gasped, looking indignant. “I don’t see anypony else here to even listen to the poor, lonesome Princess! How about a little credit for caring?”

Tiberius squeaked louder, shaking a fist.

“Lower order mammals don’t count, rodent.”

Luna suddenly lifted a wing against Discord, pushing him away. “Enough of this. I have… I have thought it over.” She didn’t meet Discord’s eyes as a blush once again colored her cheeks. “I… desire to marry Saotome Ranma.”

Discord pumped a fist into the air silently.

“So long as you can guarantee that he will be at the ceremony and assent to our union of his own free will, then… then I can think of no compelling reason not to agree.” She gulped, finally looking up into the crimson eyes of the spirit of chaos. “He will be there of his own free will, yes? You’re not going to brainwash him?”

“I couldn’t brainwash him if I wanted to! Enchantments are very precise magic spells, and very easily disrupted by sudden explosions,” Discord explained, holding up a single palm in the air. “I PROMISE that Havoc will marry you of his own free will asterisk.”

Luna’s ear twitched. “What?”

“What?” Discord replied.

“You mumbled something at the end, there.”

“I don’t remember that.”

Luna and Discord continued staring uncertainly at each other. Then Luna grimaced, her ears pinning back again.

“I hope I don’t come to regret this decision, Discord,” the Princess of the Night mumbled.

Discord just laughed, finally making his way to her bedroom’s doors. “Oh, my dear, sweet, hopeless Princess! You’ve chosen love! And there’s not a love story told that isn’t replete with regret!” With an insane cackle, he threw open the doors and skipped away into the dimly lit corridors of Canterlot Castle.

Author's Note

Man I didn't know how I was going to cram an arranged pony marriage into this somehow, but here we are!

Also I hope the cutie mark/past reveal didn't feel terribly contrived and reaching.

Hunting the Fallen

Taming the Wild Horse
a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction
by SFaccountant

Chapter 11
Hunting the Fallen

General Wrath marched across the squadron of pegasi, meeting the eyes of each one with a withering stare. The mares and stallions stared back, unflinching. Each one was armed and armored to teeth; the combination of half-plate, a short sword, spear, and crossbow along with a soldier’s standard travel pack would have strained the average pony to carry over a long journey. The innate magic of the pegasi helped carry substantial loads across the sky as if they were made of paper or cotton, but the mission ahead could require days of sustained air travel, followed by a desperate battle against a cornered opponent. Wrath searched each of her ponies for any signs of lax preparation or uncertainty, looking for any excuse to send them back to the barracks. To her satisfaction, she found none.

Until she reached the end of the line, at least.

Supposedly alicorns grew taller than other mares, but one wouldn’t guess as much from the lavender Princess at the edge of the formation. Twilight Sparkle cut a slim figure next to the equine soldiers even before taking their gear into account. She was wearing her saddlebags and a thin weather tunic, and unlike the troops standing at attention she had a book levitating in front of her during inspection.

“So… did you want some armor or something? I know your talents don’t revolve around physical combat but we’re hunting for rogues and dragons, not going for a picnic.” It didn’t bother Wrath too much that Twilight didn’t display the martial discipline she was used to, and this wasn’t the first time she’d had a charge who wasn’t a hardened warrior, but Twilight’s role wasn’t limited to being their magic compass, either.

Twilight lowered her book and shook her head. “No thank you. My wings aren’t as well developed as yours, especially since I was injured recently. I imagine it’s going to be hard enough to keep up with all of you even with a light pack!”

“Light pack… right…” Wrath tilted her head slightly to look at Twilight’s saddlebags, which were stuffed to bursting with scrolls. “We’ll get a head start by using a mass teleport spell to Coltson, but after that we will have a lot of flying to do. Why are you bringing all those writing supplies, anyway?”

“I plan on checking my heading frequently as we’re traveling,” the Princess explained, flipping around the book she had been reading. It turned out to be a collection of local regional maps complete with travelers’ notes. “If I take enough readings and then see a gradual or sudden shift in direction, then it may help us triangulate his ultimate location or find one of his teleport monoliths.”

“Just to be clear, we only have his direction? That’s how this sense of yours works?” Wrath asked.

“To be extra-clear, the sense gives me the direction of the artifact, not Blood Rite. We’d expect them to be in the same place, of course, but it is possible they’ll be separate,” Twilight explained.

Wrath grimaced. “I hadn’t considered that. That means it’s all the more likely we’re soaring into a trap.”

“For what it’s worth, I disagree,” Twilight retorted, closing her book and sending it back to her bag on an arc of violet magic. “I don’t think this is a trap. Rite isn’t playing a long game anymore. As his plans have unraveled further and further his attacks have become more… aggressive and desperate. He’s looking for an opportunity to strike and complete his objective, not playing for time or whittling away at Equestria’s forces.”

“And what if you’re wrong? What if YOU become the opportunity to strike after being captured by the magic rock?” Wrath asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“He had me before. He didn’t take advantage of it.” Twilight shrugged. “I could still be wrong, of course. My memories of being captured are pretty hazy. But it sure seems like he wants to keep me out of his rebellion as much as possible.”

“Well, then it’s just about time we ruined his day.” General Wrath turned around and spread her wings wide. “All right, ponies! Let’s soar! For Canterlot and Equestria!”

“FOR CANTERLOT AND EQUESTRIA!!”

Celestia caught a glint of reflected sunlight out of the corner of her eye, and she turned her head to the window to watch the formation of winged ponies soar away from Canterlot Castle. She released a tired sigh upon spotting a pair of purple wings among them. In the end, Twilight hadn’t reconsidered. Celestia hadn’t seriously expected her to back down, but she still felt like this mission was a mistake.

“I know you worry for her, but take heart, Tia,” Luna reassured her. She was sitting at the other end of their dining room table, munching on her breakfast (her last meal before bed, typically). “Blood Rite has evaded judgment thus far through careful planning and stealth. Now that his location is exposed he cannot hide from us. Twilight Sparkle will prevail.”

Celestia shook her head and returned to her own meal. “It isn’t just the confrontation that I’m worried about, Luna.”

“Aye, I know. You still feel that this conflict is your fault, don’t you?” Luna levitated her tea cup to her lips and took a long sip.

“Do you believe it isn’t?”

Luna slowly lowered her teacup, looking thoughtful. “Rebellion cannot happen without an authority to rebel against, but Rite’s plot has never felt like a true revolution,” the dark Princess mused. “He seeks no popular support. He brings no message to the masses. He doesn’t seek to undermine your authority, but to physically remove your claim to the throne with some incredible and unlikely magic solution. His plan would - in his view, at least - substantially improve the lives of Equestrians, but rather than make a case for his solution he plots in secret, supposing to overturn the royal order himself and impose his brighter future upon all.”

“He suffers silently far from prying eyes, sure that with enough work and the right magic he can fix everything on his own,” Celestia mumbled. “He was much the same even before he embarked on this ill-fated quest.”

“A testament to ego, not justice,” Luna sniffed. “Blood Rite wouldn’t dare try to explain his better future to the ponies who would live with it to try and earn their blessings. So he plans to bring it about by force, sure that he will be vindicated eventually.” She paused. “That is, of course, being generous and assuming he’s put great thought into his cause at all, and isn’t simply in thrall to his hated destiny.”

“He has. I’m sure of it,” Celestia protested. “These plans of his… they’re too extensive, too grand to be a mere impulse driven by his cutie mark. Rite isn’t simply trying to bring me down, although I’m sure his destiny pulls him toward that eventuality. He has something greater in store.”

“Greater than seizing the sun from Canterlot’s control? I shudder to think of it,” Luna mumbled before biting into an apple.

Kibitz entered the room during the lull in conversation, carrying another plate of pastries and two copies of the Canterlot Sun. “Good morning, your Highnesses!” he sang, cheerfully unaware of the topic that had just concluded. He levitated the plate into place and then turned to Princess Luna with a flourish and a glint in his eye. “And a hearty congratulations to you, Princess Luna! I just heard the news!”

Luna’s muzzle scrunched up, and Celestia blinked uncertainly.

“News? What news?” Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow. The “congratulations” suggested it was good news, and she could certainly use some of that.

“Ha ha ha! Very funny, Princess!” Kibitz wiggled his mustache and then floated the newspapers onto the table, dropping one in front of each alicorn. Each copy of the Canterlot Sun featured the headline “ROYAL WEDDING” in huge block text on the top, followed by the sub header “Beloved Princess of the Night to Wed Violent Arsonist.” Below that was an exquisite portrait of Luna next to a picture of Ranma’s bounty poster.

Celestia stared at the headline silently. After several seconds she levitated her tea to her lips, taking a long sip that completely drained the cup. Then she turned her head and spat it all out in shock.

Kibitz quickly raised a serving platter as a shield against the jet of steaming tea. “Ah. So you weren’t joking. Hmm.”

“What is the meaning of this?!” Celestia gasped, quickly wiping her mouth as her eyes bugged out at the headline.

“Could they really find no other image of Saotome aside from his bounty poster?” Luna griped, her ears falling flat. “And half the associated stories are about his crimes, of which he’s been pardoned! The state of the press these days!” She huffed and pushed away the newspaper.

Luna couldn’t help but feel Celestia’s incredulous gaze burning into her after that, and she cleared her throat lightly before she addressed her sister. “The, ah, gist of the story, however, is true. I am engaged to be married. The wedding is tomorrow."

“When did THIS happen?!” Celestia demanded, standing her forelegs on the dining table and spreading her wings.

“Yesterday,” Luna said. Then she shrunk back slightly. “Well, last night, to be more specific.” Her eyes darted away, suddenly finding a very interesting spot on the floor. “After you went to bed, I think.”

The elder Princess gaped at her little sister for several seconds, and then suddenly perked. “This is Discord’s doing, isn’t it?”

“Oh, sure, blame every little thing on Discord, why not?” The spirit of chaos rolled his eyes and threw his arms up, suddenly entering the room from behind a startled Kibitz. He sat down on one of the many empty chairs around the dining table and huffed as he poured himself some tea. “Never mind that your sister’s been pining over the ruffian for months. Never mind that she’s clearly a willing participant in this union. NEVER MIND that this is an occasion of love and romantic fulfillment that you’re trying to write off as some whimsical prank of mine! Hmph!”

He took a gentle sip of tea, and then put his cup down and started buttering a slab of toast. “Anyway, yes, it was entirely my doing, so what?”

“I knew it,” Celestia groaned, folding her wings and settling back into her seat. “I assume you’re also behind the press catching wind of this event before I did.”

“In my defense, I offered them a real photograph of Havoc, but they went with the bounty poster because it was more ‘eye-catching’ or something.” Discord shrugged and took a bite of toast. “Anyway, invitations were dispatched this morning. The dress fitting is in an hour. I got an early appointment so you could still get to bed by noon, your Night Highness.”

“That’s… surprisingly thoughtful of you,” Luna mumbled, her eyes darting back to her sister.

“Tut, tut! I want this ceremony to be a smooth success as much as anypony!” Discord insisted. “Considerably more than some ponies, technically!”

“Luna, please tell me you aren’t serious about this,” Celestia mumbled, massaging her head with a hoof.

“I… I am,” Luna admitted bashfully. “More serious than Discord is, at least. I realize that this may be some elaborate prank of his, but… but if it isn’t…”

Discord sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye. “Isn’t it beautiful?! The strength of a mare’s love can overcome any obstacle or justifiable skepticism!” Then his expression shifted and he swiveled around to smile at Celestia with his hands clasped together on the table. “Moving on. I have a question for you too, my dear Celestia.”

“No, I do not wish to marry Havoc as well,” Celestia deadpanned.

Discord silently pulled a notepad out of nowhere and flipped through the pages. Then he took out a pen and started scratching over several lines.

“You… You weren’t really going to ask that, were you?” Luna mumbled in growing concern.

“No, no, definitely not. Not at all.” Discord flipped to the next page, tore it out, and then incinerated it with a snap of his fingers. “Anyway, what I was ACTUALLY going to ask was: do you think you could officiate the ceremony?”

“What? No,” the white Princess answered. Seeing the others recoil slightly in surprise, she added. “To be clear, I believe this is all some elaborate joke you’re playing on my little sister, but unlike her I’m not going to be a willing participant in some overcomplicated mockery of her feelings.” She paused to take another sip of tea, and then glowered further at the draconequus. “I will attend this ceremony, assuming it actually occurs, but as a guest.”

“That seems reasonable,” Luna mumbled, only to have Discord interrupt.

“Tia, I’m shocked! The most important, happiest day of your sister’s immortal life, and you’re treating it as a bad joke?” he gasped.

“I’m only going at all in the hopes that it’s a good joke,” Celestia deadpanned.

“Well… I didn’t want to do this, but I suppose I have no choice,” Discord sighed. “You remember that you owe me a favor, right?”

Celestia gasped while she was taking another drink, and then started coughing while she spat up her tea again. Kibitz quickly raced behind her and started slapping her on the back (incidentally moving himself well out of the splash zone).

“She does? For what?” Luna asked suspiciously.

“For helping her with this MacGuffin thing.” Discord smirked at the Princess of the Sun while she caught her breath. “You don’t think I forgot about that, did you?”

“THIS is your favor?” Celestia asked incredulously. “You’re going to make me perform your probably-fake wedding?”

“No, I’m going to make you perform Luna’s definitely-real wedding,” Discord retorted. “Is that a problem?”

The white alicorn’s eyes narrowed. “If I recall correctly, I have the right to refuse this request.”

“You do, but are you really going to do so for something like this?” the spirit of chaos chuckled and shrugged his arms. “Conducting a wedding ceremony for your own sister isn’t THAT objectionable, is it?”

Celestia growled, ruffling the feathers of her wings and puffing up her cheeks. Then, after several seconds, she deflated with a defeated sigh. “Fine. Have it your way. I’ll officiate. I can think of plenty of worse things you could have asked for.”

“So can I, and believe me, I’m very disappointed that I won’t get the chance.” Discord suddenly pushed himself back and hopped up, rubbing his mismatched hands together. “Well then, I’ll leave you ladies to your meal. I have some additional planning to get to!”

“And what would that be?” Celestia grumbled. “Renting a venue? Catering?”

“Oh, no, I already took care of all that. At this point I just have to let the groom know he’s getting married.” Discord strolled out of the dining room, blowing a kiss to the perturbed equines on his way out. “Ta-ta! See you tomorrow at noon sharp!”

Celestia was still gaping wordlessly long after the door slammed shut. Luna quietly went back to her breakfast, a blush coloring her face. Kibitz wondered if he should withdraw; the good news he’d innocently brought up had turned out to be a great deal more complicated than he could have anticipated.

Eventually the Princess of the Sun shook her head, breaking out of her stunned stupor. “Let the GROOM KNOW?!” Her wings suddenly spread out again, nearly knocking Kibitz over. “Havoc doesn’t KNOW? About HIS OWN WEDDING?! The wedding TOMORROW?!”

“Ugh, I know. I can’t believe he’s leaving that part for last,” Luna groaned while dabbing her mouth with a floating napkin. Celestia started sputtering, and Luna quickly hopped out of her chair and trotted toward the door. “Anyway I have to get to that dressmaker. Thank you, Tia! I’ll see you tonight!”

“Luna, wait! Did Havoc-“ Celestia had barely begun to speak before her sister vanished in a burst of shadowy blue, leaving her alone with Kibitz.

“Well… anyway, I hope you all have a nice time.” Kibitz slowly moved to withdraw himself from the room, grabbing Luna’s used tableware with his levitation and carrying them along with him.

“This is wrong, isn’t it? I’m not going crazy, am I?” Celestia asked, massaging her temples with her wingtips. “This morning my student left with a squad of soldiers to hunt down my ex-student who is trying to overthrow me alongside a royal dragon who also wants to be my suitor and they’re teleporting around the countryside to avoid running into a criminal who is no longer a criminal because two nights ago I pardoned him to keep my soldiers from fighting him but not because he was actually innocent and now that ex-criminal is my little sister’s fiancé except he might not know about it?!”

“And you got roped into being the marrying official because you recently risked asking Discord for help,” Kibitz added. "I think that about sums it up, yes.”

Celestia sighed again and folded her wings. There was a long pause while she considered the recent events, and then her eyes narrowed. “……… If this isn’t a prank, it means Luna will have found a special somepony and married him before I did,” she grumbled.

“Well you do keep rejecting those who are interested, your Highness,” Kibitz said. “Sometimes by imprisoning the suitor in grand displays of high magic. Some probably find it intimidating.”

“You are excused, Kibitz,” the white Princess said curtly, pouring herself more tea. “Have Raven meet with me at one o’clock today. It’s been nearly two decades since I’ve officiated a wedding and I need to rehearse. This is all a terrible idea and obviously some kind of crazy scheme, but at the very least I’ll be fulfilling my favor to the best of my abilities. I don’t want to give Discord an opportunity to demand another.”

“As you wish, your Highness.”

Sylvia Hawke was no stranger to rough times. From the days of her youth in the Griffon Kingdom, to her years carving out a criminal niche in Hoofington, to that disastrous weekend when a random stallion had broken into her home and she was brutalized by an enraged magician, the griffon ringleader had certainly suffered her share of shortfalls. Each time she’d bounced back, recovering her health, her status, and her assets to become stronger than before. After Ranma and Trixie had left her family beaten and her gang scattered it had been no small task to reassert control over her fellow roughnecks that had come to see her as a weak and vulnerable leader. The struggle had been vicious, and she’d expended a lot of favors and made more than a few unfavorable deals, but within a month of her galling defeat by the equine adventurers Mayor Hawke was back on top, ruling Hoofington with an iron claw.

So it was especially embarrassing and intensely frustrating when those ponies strolled back into town and once again scattered her gang like so many bowling pins.

The whistle of magical rockets came from outside, followed by the sharp, explosive bang of fireworks. Colored light flashed through the windows, and the terrified screams of stallions trailed off after the noisy cacophony.

Sylvia threw the curtains closed, and then jumped over her desk. Pinned to the wall at the back of her office was a very large crossbow, and next to it was an array of bolts. They varied in type, ranging from small oil-filled capsules atop metal ignition plugs to long shafts of metal sharpened and tapered to a needle point, but they were all nearly as thick as the griffon’s wrist and possessed the stopping power to knock over an enraged minotaur.

Another scream came from outside, followed by panicked wailing and begging. Sylvia couldn’t make out the words or put a name to the voice, which was unfortunate; a great deal of scathing recriminations were in order if she ended up having to reassemble her criminal organization again.

“Go to Equestria, they said. The ponies are so friendly and welcoming, they said!” Sylvia snapped a needle bolt into the crossbow and then pulled back the draw, locking it into place. “You won’t even have to worry about the guards; they’re pushovers! Bah!”

She placed the crossbow on her desk, hearing the wood creak slightly under the weight of it. Then she took careful aim at the door of her office, sweat crawling down her brow and neck.

Several seconds passed with no further sounds of mayhem. The distant wail of terrified, fleeing pony thugs was barely audible in the distance, but she pushed it out of her head. She would probably get only one chance to attack if the intruders headed to her office. It was a lot to gamble, but this situation had escalated much faster than last time and she had fewer options.

Sylvia heard the sound of a hoof tapping on the door to her office. “Hello Mayor Hawke. The Great and Powerful Trixie has an appointment with you,” sang a voice from the other side.

The door shuddered as it tried to open. The bar lock held firm. A moment later a pink magic field appeared around the locking bar and started to slide it out of the way. Sylvia gulped, but kept her nerve; such precise telekinesis use on something the user couldn’t even see was quite impressive, but she hadn’t seriously expected a locked door to delay the ponies for long anyway.

The door unlocked, and then swung wide open. A smirking unicorn in a purple hat and cape stood in the hall, and Sylvia pulled the crossbow’s trigger. The needle bolt flew across the room in an eye blink, plunging into the mare’s forehead.

The bolt stabbed deep into the wall, and the magic mirror it had shot through broke apart into motes of pink light.

“Heh. Works every time,” Trixie chuckled as she stepped around the corner and trotted forward, her horn wrapped in a sparkling pink glow. Another pony followed behind her, its entire body hidden under a cloak and hood matching the star-spangled design of Trixie’s hat and cape. Only a bit of gray muzzle poked out from the hood, bobbing slightly with each step.

Sylvia hissed and snatched another bolt from the wall behind her. At the same time, a pink magic aura wrapped around a different bolt with a knife-edged point and yanked it from the wall. As Sylvia slammed the next projectile into place, the floating bolt swung down and sliced through the crossbow’s drawstring, immediately rendering the device useless.

Trixie regarded the griffon with an impatient stare, her horn still blazing with magic. “Trixie will take her appointment here and now, Miss Hawke. You should be grateful that Trixie isn’t going to knock you out and drag you off first; it’s not as if you showed Trixie the same courtesy the last time she passed through your town.”

Sylvia glanced down at her broken weapon, and then up at the ponies waiting calmly in front of her door. Then she picked up the bolt and hurled it across the room at the cloaked figure.

“Please, stop embarrassing yourself.” Without the superior force of the crossbow to propel it, Trixie’s magic easily slowed the bolt’s path through the air and brought it to a stop just inches from its target. The hooded pony didn’t so much as twitch. Then the projectile accelerated back the other way, spinning toward Hoofington’s Mayor.

Sylvia recoiled with a nervous squawk, falling backward into her chair. The flung bolt struck the wall, bouncing off and landing haphazardly on the floor. A few shredded feathers floated to the carpet, but otherwise the griffon was unharmed.

Trixie shut the door behind her with another pulse of telekinesis, although her horn continued to glow afterward. Sylvia tried to school her features, regarding the intruder with an air of cold irritation.

“I’d hoped the previous time we met would be the last, Miss Trixie. I graciously neglected to send any hitmares after you to cut my losses and prevent any repeats of the last time you rampaged through my home.” A vein popped up on her head. “Yet here you are. To what do I owe this extraordinary displeasure?”

“Just some unfinished business,” Trixie said, glancing around the office. It was generously decorated, but there wasn’t much in the way of loose valuables out in the open; probably a necessity when one worked around a gang of thieves. In the corner of the office, just next to the weapons rack that was mounted on the back of the room, was a hefty wall safe.

Sylvia’s feathers prickled around her head and neck. “Like what? Regretting you didn’t finish off me and my only child the last time you bumbled through here?” Her eyes kept darting back at the hooded pony, watching for the slightest movement. She didn’t recall Ranma Saotome being so quiet last time he was here, but she also recalled that Trixie hadn’t been quite this bold and casually capable last time, either. Certainly the magician had still been arrogant, vicious, and resourceful back then, but it felt like she was dealing with an entirely different pony than the haughty entertainer who had been ambushed in her hotel room not too long ago.

“Oh, no, nothing like that. Trixie isn’t interested in taking your life,” the illusionist said, tsking calmly. “Granted, Trixie thinks Hoofington could probably do with a new Mayor and a cleanup of the local thieves’ guild, but that isn’t any of Trixie’s business.”

“From where I’m sitting, you don’t seem to have many qualms with sticking your snout where it doesn’t belong,” Sylvia sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What, did you forget the last time Trixie was here?” the azure mare asked, blinking her eyes innocently. “Trixie did leave you with a severe concussion before she left, so perhaps you don’t recall sponsoring the bandits who attacked Trixie’s wagon, having thugs kick Trixie’s door down, or using a magic ring to foalnap Trixie from her hotel room. But surely you should remember the ensuing fiasco after you tried to enslave Trixie and held her at knifepoint against Trixie’s bodyguard. Otherwise you’d have a lot of questions as to what happened once you woke up covered in bruises and surrounded by unconscious goons. Trixie DEFINITELY has business to settle with you, Miss Hawke.”

“What do you want?” Sylvia hissed, gripping her armrests hard enough that her talons started to dig into the wood.

“Before Trixie left, you offered - in a moment of terrified desperation - to purchase Trixie’s forgiveness for your transgressions against her,” the unicorn began, sitting back on her haunches. “At the time, Trixie refused. Since moving on from Hoofington, however, Trixie has become much more relaxed about attempts on her life and much less secure in her personal funds. So Trixie will accept your offer now and grant her forgiveness at an appropriately exorbitant price.”

Sylvia was silent for several seconds while multiple feathers on her head and shoulders started twitching and standing up of their own volition. “…… That’s it? That’s why you’re here?! To BLACKMAIL me?!” she screeched.

Trixie winced slightly from the volume, but nodded. “Well, yes. Trixie really would like to resolve her grudge, but that’s a fair assessment. Will you be paying in cash or in kind?”

“I’m not paying you anything!” Sylvia snarled, standing up and slamming her fist on her desk. “Get out! Never set hoof in this town again!”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Are you doing that thing where you enter a negotiation with an obviously unacceptable offer in the hopes that the eventual compromise is more favorable to you? Because Trixie isn’t buying it.”

A slight creaking noise came from above. Sylvia’s eyes narrowed at Trixie, who maintained an undisturbed expression of tired patience.

“I’ve said all there is to say,” the griffon snapped, glaring down at the pony. “Get out.”

“Trixie finds your offer insufficient and must press her claim,” the unicorn retorted. “Ranma, go see what’s in that safe, would you? Hopefully we can resolve this with whatever cash you have on hoof.”

The hooded pony started to move, turning toward the armored door on the wall without uttering a word. Sylvia tensed, and then loudly cleared her throat.

A feral shriek came from above, and another griffon dropped from the rafters to tackle the hooded equine to the floor. A dagger plunged into the pony’s back, eliciting a loud BANG like the sound of a balloon exploding. The griffon rolled across the floor, clutching his target for dear life while his blade searched - unsuccessfully - for flesh to bite into.

“What? What was…?” Sylvia stared incredulously at the pile of objects tangled around her son, Tom Hawke. Tom lay on the carpet in a confused heap, the cloak caught on his talons and one arm wrapped around what should have been the head of the hooded pony they thought was Ranma Saotome. Rather, it was a party balloon with a paper fold attached to it in a shape that resembled a pony’s muzzle. Back where the “pony” had been standing, another balloon bobbed up and down, anchored lightly to a small wooden block. A third balloon was spread around the floor in the form of torn rubber scraps. There seemed to be a small sheet of paper attached to the “head” balloon as well, but neither of the griffons noticed while realization slowly dawned on them.

Trixie snickered behind a hoof. Sylvia stood up straight, regarding the magician with a suspicious glare. Trixie’s horn wasn’t glowing anymore for the first time since she had arrived.

“That was a decoy… You’ve been pulling that thing along all this time! That’s why your horn was active since you broke in! This was all a bluff!”

“You seemed like the type to have more than one ace up your sleeve,” Trixie shrugged. “It also helped scare away most of your thugs outside. A few fireworks and a vaguely stallion-sized shape sent them running for the hills!”

Sylvia threw open a desk and snatched up a dagger, her eyes never leaving the unicorn at the front of her office. “You have a lot of guts, Trixie, and I’ll even admit you’re rather clever! But in the end, your thug is missing and I still have one left!”

“Mommm! Don’t call me a ‘thug!’” Tom complained as he stood up.

“Honey, please, not now! Concentrate on disemboweling the unicorn!”

Trixie chuckled, smirking at the griffons brandishing knives at her. “If you think Trixie is alone, you should probably read that message on the balloon.”

Tom hesitated, and then snatched up the note. He squinted at it, not noticing when Trixie leapt away and huddled behind a chair. Sylvia did notice, and her feathers prickled again in alarm.

“I don’t get it,” Tom mumbled. “It just says ‘Trixie prepared explosive runes today.’”

The citizens of Hoofington winced as an explosion rocked the Mayor’s mansion, blowing out one of the windows and unsettling the entire West wing of the house. The ponies that didn’t count themselves among Sylvia Hawke’s lackeys - many of whom had gathered outside after seeing or hearing the fireworks earlier - quickly scattered. Most of the ponies who did consider themselves subordinates of the Mayor also left, but did so more casually and with exaggerated nonchalance, as if they hadn’t noticed their employer’s home being blown up.

Those few who remained finally fled when the front door suddenly burst open. Trixie emerged from the mansion with her saddlebags stuffed to bursting and a trio of daggers hovering in front of her, but hardly any of the hooligans even waited to catch a glimpse before sprinting away.

The unicorn paused to scan the area, searching for any indication of hidden foes. Once she was satisfied that nopony was waiting in ambush, she let two of the daggers drop to the ground and she began to walk away.

“Well, this proved to be a worthwhile stop. Trixie’s glad she decided to clear up this little grudge after all.” The bits stuffed in her saddlebags jingled with every step, and a few loose coins managed to slip out of the folds and onto the dirt. “It’s unfortunate Trixie couldn’t find those Thief ponies from before so that they could purchase their forgiveness as well, but Trixie’s current profits are just slightly greater than her sense of spite.”

Before she got very far from the front door, Trixie heard another pony galloping up the road. She tensed and started to feed magical energy to the dagger she was still levitating, but then relaxed once she spotted the source: a mare racing up the street while carrying a pack full of rolled-up newspapers.

“EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! ROYAL WEDDING IN EQUESTRIAN BACKWATER! PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT TO MARRY ENEMY OF THE STATE UNDER EXTREMELY CONTRIVED CIRCUMSTANCES! EXTRA!” The newspaper mare rang a bell hanging around her neck while she raced past the mansion, and then flung one of the papers toward the (still smoldering) front door of the Mayor’s house.

Trixie intercepted the newspaper with her telekinesis, drawing it along behind her while she returned to her wagon. “Now THAT’S an interesting headline. What enemy of the state would that be?”

The paper whipped around in front of her, and then unrolled itself in front of the unicorn. Trixie immediately found the portraits plastered over the front page, and her ears pinned flat against her head. “Really, Trixie didn’t know what she was expecting. Of course it wasn’t going to be Blood Rite,” she grumbled, staring at the familiar bounty poster that detailed Ranma’s crimes and reward. “Trixie is somewhat surprised the bride is Princess Luna, though. There’s probably a very interesting story behind that, and Trixie would bet every one of her recently acquired bits that it isn’t written anywhere here.”

She reached her wagon and closed the newspaper. Then she stopped, tilting her head to one side. “Oh, there you are. Trixie was wondering what happened to you. You really live up to your name, don’t you?”

A familiar stallion stood next to her wagon with a single hoof pressed against it. A magic symbol glowed a bright pink on the wooden siding next to his leg, extending a magical aura around his entire body and holding him in place. The pony whimpered fearfully as Trixie approached him, but lacked the muscle control to so much as lower his ears in shame.

“Here, let Trixie adjust the spell so you can properly beg for forgiveness, Mister Wagon Thief.” Trixie’s magic tossed the paper into the wagon bed and then reached out to the stallion, banishing the part of the aura wrapping around his head. “Trixie didn’t really think any of Hawke’s thugs would stop to loot a random wagon among all the explosions and screaming and such, but this is a town of thieves after all!”

“L-Look, I’m sorry, all right? You got me! I’m helpless! Have some m-mercy!” Wagon Thief blubbered, his imagination running wild with all sorts of sadistic imagery. The last two times he had crossed the blue unicorn he had suffered first-degree burns and multiple fractured bones, and back then he’d at least been able to defend himself.

“Well, you did happen to catch Trixie in a decent mood. Lucky you.” Smirking, the illusionist lifted the saddlebags from her back and tossed them in the wagon as well, enjoying the metallic jingle of the coins settling. Then she paused, glancing behind her suspiciously. “Although… Trixie is kind of surprised your girlfriend isn’t trying to help you. The magic trap only had enough power to paralyze one target, but it doesn’t look like she took anything and then abandoned you on your own. Hmmm…”

Wagon Thief sniffled pitifully. “J-Jewel Thief… left me right after you and that pigtailed monster left town,” he admitted miserably. “With me injured and unable to help keep us afloat she had to cut me loose and fend for herself.”

“Trixie is happy to hear that she’s learning from her past mistakes and getting her life back on track,” Trixie said while she started hooking herself up to the wagon shafts.

The immobilized stallion frowned. “That’s not what I said.”

“That’s not what you meant,” Trixie corrected. She finished hooking herself in, and then craned her neck to address the bandit. “But that’s neither here nor there. Trixie will tell you what; if you promise to tell Hawke and her thugs that Trixie left through the west gate rather than the east gate, Trixie will refrain from running you over on the way out.”

“Yes! Fine! Whatever you want!” Wagon Thief wailed.

“Splendid! Goodbye!”

With that, Trixie reached over and gave the hapless rogue a firm push. Wagon Thief tipped over, falling onto his side with a pitiful squeak. Then she was off, galloping at a steady trot down the cobblestone streets.

Trixie didn’t cast so much as a brief glance over her shoulder while she raced away from the Mayor’s house. The streets were almost entirely empty, with windows and doors closed and locked tight; a regular occurrence in bandit-plagued villages, especially when they heard explosions. After several minutes heading East through town Trixie stopped, looked around to check if anyone was watching, and then took a left turn onto a side street and headed North. While she supposed Wagon Thief was just cowardly enough to actually abide by their bargain even after he was safely out of harm’s way, there was no reason to trust the rogue to misdirect any potential pursuers.

Besides, the North road was the quickest route to Ponyville. Trixie had always wanted to see a royal wedding.

“All right Havoc, now that ya’ve split enough wood to last us through Winter Wrap-up it’s time ya learn some proper farmin’. Ah don’t know if ya plan on stickin’ around ‘til the busy season, but if ya do yer gonna have to learn ta buck trees.”

Ranma stood at the base of an apple tree, staring up into the branches and the collection of bright red fruits hanging under the leaves. Applejack and Big Macintosh stood behind him, the latter maintaining stoic silence while the former instructed him.

“The idea is simple: ya gotta kick the tree so that the apples fall down. The technique ain’t simple. If ya just kick the tree as hard as ya can then you’ll just hurt yerself and scuff the bark.” Applejack nudged her head toward Big Mac. “Let Mac show ya how it’s done. Then I’ll run ya through it.”

Big Mac trotted up next to the apple tree and then swung around. Applejack did a quick circuit around the work site, dropping baskets on the ground to form a loose ring. Mac glanced back at the tree for a long moment, and then turned away again.

His left rear leg struck the tree with a solid thump, and the entire tree quivered. The branches shook noticeably more than the rest of the body, dipping low before the fruits hanging on the ends broke loose and tumbled to the ground. Apples rained down from the tree, and the majority of them fell in the harvest baskets. One fruit dropped squarely on Mac’s head, and by reflex he tilted his neck to bounce it into the nearest receptacle.

Applejack nodded in satisfaction, and then turned to her pigtailed tenant. “So, whatcha think?”

Ranma looked left and right at the baskets, and then stared up at the tree for a few seconds. Then he finally addressed Applejack. “What’s Winter Wrap-up? Is that what I’ve been splitting firewood for?”

Applejack sighed, mildly annoyed that the question had nothing to do with the job at hand. “Winter Wrap-up is when we ponies all get together to clear out all the snow and whatnot and start spring. Y’know, to change the seasons.”

“You… You do... what? That’s not how the seasons change!” Ranma retorted, furrowing his brow.

“Havoc, Ah ain’t gonna argue with ya about how the weather works,” the farmer said firmly, scowling at her guest. “However they did it ‘fore the world ended and ponykind took over, now the Princess controls the sun and us townsfolk change the seasons and the weather factory makes the rain. That’s just how it is!”

Ranma ducked his head and he snorted. “I’m pretty sure that whoever controls the sun should control the seasons, too…”

“Then Ah guess the next time ya meet Princess Celestia ya can tell her that she’s slackin’ off. Ah don’t care,” Applejack said, picking up a basket and sliding it onto her back. “Fer now we’re talkin’ chores. Get a basket an’ follow me.”

Soon they had arranged the baskets around another apple tree. Ranma pushed his own baskets into place more or less at random under the apples hanging above, and he couldn’t help but notice that the Apple siblings followed after him to nudge them over several inches. He didn’t know what the difference was supposed to be, and the farmers didn’t offer an explanation; Ranma guessed that optimal basket placement was just something that came with long experience.

“Now, then…” Applejack walked up to the apple tree and laid a hoof flat on the trunk. “If there’s one thing yer plenty good at it’s kickin’ things, so Ah figger you’ll be a natural at this.” She raised her hoof higher and tapped the trunk. “The idea is, ya want the kick to push upward, and spread as much force as possible. Ya don’t want the kick goin’ down into the roots. Besides doin’ nothin’ to get the apples down, it’s also bad fer the trees.”

She turned around, spacing herself about half a leg’s length from the tree. “The other trick to it is a little less… science-y. Ya gotta kick through the bark, into the core of the tree. The bark just eats up the power of the kick and breaks. It’s the wood that carries it upward.”

“You mean like, aim for a bald spot?” Ranma asked.

“That can help sometimes, although hittin’ knots in the trunk usually spoils the kick. What Ah mean is ya gotta hit flat-on and drive the impact deep; don’t let yer hoof spring off. There’s a feel to it that you’ll get used to, but it’ll take a little practice.”

Applejack suddenly lashed out with a back hoof, striking the apple tree lightly. A single branch on the opposite side of the tree started shaking, and a trio of apples tumbled down into a basket while leaving the entire rest of the foliage undisturbed. Ranma recoiled in surprise, genuinely impressed.

“Heh. Ah’m just showin’ off, but it’s the same kinda trick what Mac did.” She trotted away to join her brother. “Give it a try.”

Ranma walked up to the apple tree, staring at it thoughtfully. He walked around the side, then slapped a hoof lightly against the trunk. After a few seconds he walked further around it, and then gave it a little kick again. There was no obvious effect, but the Apples didn’t expect any; they waited patiently for the martial artist to make a proper attempt at an applebuck.

“All right, here goes!” Ranma shouted suddenly, whipping around and jumping onto his front legs. His entire body flashed blue, and his legs lashed out like a bolt of lightning. “HI-YAH!”

The tree trunk barely trembled, but the branches started flailing wildly. The apples broke free in short order and start falling to the ground, although the farmer ponies noticed right away that they seemed to be flying far beyond the placement of the baskets.

“Ha! Got it on the first try!” Ranma smirked.

Then there was a tremendous crack, and the top half of the tree split open as if a massive, invisible axe had fallen atop it. Ranma’s smirk vanished.

“Ah. Um… that… was a practice tree, right?” Ranma asked nervously, a droplet of sweat sliding down his head.

Big Mac shook his head silently. Applejack sighed and walked up to the martial artist, clapping a hoof onto his shoulder.

“This’s why we all insist on calling ya Havoc, y’know.”

Ranma’s ears flipped down. “Sorry…”

“It wasn’t a practice tree before, but it sure is now, so after ya fill up the apple baskets ya can work on yer technique a little more,” Applejack allowed, stepping back to join her brother again. “If ya want some advice on yer kicking style, Ah’d say ya should drop that flashy blue magic thing.”

“That’s not magic! That’s my battle aura!” Ranma said, looking proud again.

“Ah don’t care what it is. Just quit gettin’ it on mah trees,” Applejack said firmly. “Yer fancy human whatsit is great fer knockin’ out dragons, but you can take it easy applebuckin’. We clear?”

Ranma nodded silently, and Applejack offered a tired smile. “Then Ah’ll leave ya to it fer now. When ya think yer ready to harvest a tree without tearin’ it in half, then come get me and I’ll find ya a good ‘un.”

The Apple siblings helped collect the harvested fruit in the baskets, and then departed with their bounty. Ranma was left with the badly damaged tree, left to puzzle out the secrets of magic pony farming. Applejack’s technique wasn’t especially daunting to him; Ranma was experienced with energy flows and impact diversion far more subtle and complex than what she had used to knock the apples loose. But the mechanics of a tree were different from a person, and all his practice as a human was harder to apply as a pony.

“Bah. The tree isn’t going to be very much help for practice like this. I need a new one,” Ranma grumbled, giving it a solid kick with his front leg. One half of the split trunk wobbled dangerously, and the cleft between the two halves deepened. “Or maybe… instead I could come up with some kind of training exercise… something a lot like this but without risking the tree…” he rubbed the back of a hoof against his chin.

He was puzzling over it for several minutes before the fur on his back stood on end. Ranma’s ears perked up and a grimace crossed his face, but he didn’t actually move or respond to the new presence until he heard it speak.

“Ah, I see you’re learning the apple farming trade. And it’s going just as well as I would have guessed! Ha ha ha!” Discord stuck his head through the split in the tree, grinning down at the stallion below. Ranma stared back up, unimpressed.

“You again,” the martial artist grumbled, resisting the urge to give the tree another kick. “What’s up, weirdo?”

“Now, now, let’s not be rude.” Discord pulled his head back out of the cleft. “I just thought you might like a little help, that’s all!”

The draconequus reached down to the part of the trunk where the split began, pinching the bark just under the crack. Then he drew his hand up, like he was drawing a zipper closed. The apple tree duly came together along the split, the wood and bark sealing together so completely it was as if nothing had happened.

“There! Much better! Let’s reload it, too.” Discord pulled open a section of bark like it was the cover of a maintenance panel, revealing an array of buttons beneath. He pressed one and flipped the bark back into place, and then new apples suddenly swelled into existence on the tree’s branches to replace those that had already fallen.

“… Okay, thanks,” Ranma mumbled, pausing to rub his eyes. “Is that all you came here for?”

“Not quite,” Discord said with a grin, leaning against the newly restored tree. “As my new best pony guy friend, I was just hoping you could do me an itsy-bitsy little favor!”

“Why… Why am I your ‘new best pony guy friend?’” Ranma asked suspiciously. It wasn’t that he had anything against Discord personally, even if the spirit of chaos had accidentally blown him up; Discord simply had an air of casual, subtle malevolence to him behind his outwardly cheery persona. It was something Ranma had learned to pick up on long ago when dealing with various unnaturally old and ridiculously powerful people that frequently meddled with his life.

“Well you can’t be my best pony gal friend; that slot’s taken,” Discord explained, “but I’ve often wanted somepony around to talk to about cool, MANLY stuff!” He withdrew an iron barbell out of nowhere and started doing bicep curls as he spoke. “You know: Karate, explosions, the scouring of all human life from planet Earth, baseball, comic books, picking up mares at the wedding tomorrow, that sort of thing!”

Ranma grimaced. “You wanna talk about Earth?”

“Oh, dear no, that sounds terribly depressing. It was just an example.” Discord chucked the barbell behind him. “But back to that favor: you may have heard there’s a wedding tomorrow! I’m helping out, and I need an assistant. I’d ask Spike, but it turns out only Princesses get to ignore Equestrian child labor laws.”

“A wedding? Tomorrow?” Ranma frowned. “Who’s getting married? Anyone I know?”

“Oh, but it’s a surprise!” Discord said with a wink.

“A… surprise WEDDING? There are surprise weddings here in ponyland?” Ranma asked incredulously.

“For all you know, YES!” Discord laughed. “So what do you say? Can you lend me a hoof?”

Ranma stared up at the grinning face of the draconequus. “… Is it me? Am I getting married?”

Discord’s face darkened. Ranma kept staring at him suspiciously. Discord stared back, his eyes narrowing.

Then they both started laughing.

“HA HA HA! Married? You? That’s ridiculous!” Discord bellowed. “You barely know anypony here! How would that even work?”

“Ha ha! Yeah! That is really silly, huh?” Ranma chuckled to himself, but also looked distinctly relieved. “Anyway, it sounds fun but I really have to finish working off this-“

“There will be catering, of course,” Discord interrupted.

“I guess I can ask Jack for a day off, sure,” Ranma quickly revised.

“You leave her to me!” Discord said, walking off toward the farmstead. “You’ll need the whole day, so plan accordingly!”

“Really? Do pony weddings take that long?”

“No, but I have a VERY SPECIAL job for you!” Discord said, cackling to himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Havoc! Ha ha haa! MWAA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAH!!”

The draconequus flew away toward the farmhouse, laughing the entire time in a decidedly unhinged manner. Ranma watched him go, and then glanced up at the newly repaired apple tree.

“Well, he’s a total weirdo, but as long as he keeps fixing up Jack’s trees for me he’s all right in my book,” Ranma said to himself while looking at the unblemished trunk approvingly. He tapped a hoof against the spot that Discord had opened and closed like a hinged panel, but as expected he found nothing there. “Well, whatever. Let’s give it another try!”

With a wide grin Ranma hopped up into the air, turning 180 degrees and landing on his forelegs. Both of his legs lashed out to strike the trunk, but as Applejack suggested he reigned in his battle aura this time.

The trunk quivered more than it had before, and the bark cracked under the impact of his hooves. But when the apples started falling nothing else happened to the tree, and Ranma watched the fruit plummet to the ground with quiet satisfaction.

“Heh. Not quite perfect, but not bad for my second try,” he said to himself, raising a hoof and catching one of the falling apples.

Ranma was going to take a bite, but paused when he noticed something small take off from the apple’s surface and hover in front of him. It was a honeybee. An ordinary honeybee, buzzing in a confused orbit above the apple, in the same way any old Earth honeybee would.

This was hardly alarming by itself, but Ranma became increasingly aware of more buzzing coming from above, along with a series of thumping noises. Then a beehive dropped from the branches and landed in front of him, cracking open on impact. Ranma yelped and jumped backward as a swarm of angry honeybees flooded from the sundered nest, startled and more than a little confused.

“This is some kind of dumb magical prank, isn’t it? There was definitely no beehive in the tree before,” the martial artist grumbled before rearing up on his hind legs. “Whatever, come at me if you want. Just more practice for the old horse body!” Ranma boasted.

Five more beehives fell from the tree and crashed to the ground, releasing hundreds of new insects into the air.

“God DAMN it,” Ranma sighed, turning around to flee.

“Knock knock! Anypony home?”

Applejack grimaced at hearing Discord’s voice at the door and she looked up from where she was making lunch. “Oh, NOW what?”

Apple Bloom was sitting on a stool washing apples in the sink, and she instantly perked up when she heard something banging on the front door. “Ah’ll get it!” She jumped down and scampered across the floor to the entrance.

The yellow filly cracked opened the front door, and then yelped as it was suddenly thrown open the rest of the way, sending her rolling across the floor.

“APPLE PONY!!” Discord said, grinning down at the youngest Apple sibling and spreading his arms wide as if for a hug. “Are you ready for the wedding?!”

Apple Bloom blinked up at him repeatedly, scrunching up her nose. “… Yer a nice monster, but Ah think we should just be friends.”

Discord laughed, slapping his belly and walking past the young pony. He didn’t get very far before Applejack stood in his path, staring up at the draconequus with a calm, if displeased, expression.

“What’re ya here for, Discord? Ya know better’n to stop by just fer lunch.”

“So cold, Applejack!” he replied, gripping his shoulders and shivering while his body turned blue and frosty. “This is an occasion for celebration! Love is in the air!”

The farmer’s apparent mood didn’t improve. “Can ya skip the sight gags and get on with it? Ah got chores to do.”

“Oh, fine. Be that way.” Discord straightened up and clasped his hands behind his back. “I’d like to formally extend an invitation to tomorrow’s wedding!” He flicked his wrist, summoning a folded scrap of paper from nowhere and offering it to the orange mare.

“A weddin’, huh? Is it fer you, or is this some kinda whacky show yer puttin’ on as a big joke?” Applejack asked, cautiously taking the invitation.

“It’s not my wedding, but it’s not a joke, either! Not completely. Like 40% at most,” Discord replied.

Applejack flipped the paper open and then read the contents aloud. “’Applejack, Element of Honesty: You are cordially invited to attend the most holy union of…’ uh… didja mess up the line? There’s a dark smudge over the names of the bride n’ groom.”

“It’s a surprise wedding! You get to find out who the bride and groom are when you’re there!” Discord said brightly.

“Yer makin’ that up,” Applejack said bluntly.

“Of course I am, but that’s not the point,” Discord replied. “Havoc agreed to help out putting the ceremony together. You can show up at the appointed time as a guest, but he’ll need the whole day off.”

Applejack frowned at the invitation, intensely suspicious. “…… Is it Havoc? Is he the groom?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Or the bride? Ah guess he could be either.”

“Wasn’t he a criminal until this week? When did he get a special somepony?” Apple Bloom asked.

Discord stopped smiling and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Applejack. “Look, can I borrow the cursed indentured servant or not? I’m a very busy chaos spirit; I don’t have time to sit around while you pick apart my plans.”

“Ah gotta feelin’ Ah’m gonna regret this,” the orange pony huffed. “Fine, let’s do this. Can’t end worse than havin’ half the Equestrian army rampagin’ through mah fields.”

“You’re probably right!” Discord said with a wink, swiftly turning around and heading out the door. “See you tomorrow!” He didn’t wait for any further response, his tail curling around the front doorknob and tugging it closed while he departed.

Once the door clicked shut, Apple Bloom bounced to her hooves. “There’s gonna be a weddin’! Can Ah come?”

“Naw, you should stay home with Mac,” Applejack advised.

“Awwww! Why?!”

“’Cuz there ain’t nothin’ about this that ain’t sketchy as all get-out,” Applejack snorted. “Ah don’t want you gettin’ in no trouble.”

“But Havoc causes trouble all the time!” Apple Bloom complained. “Why does he get to go?”

“Honestly Ah should probably stop him from goin’ too, but Ah don’t think it’d work,” Applejack grumbled. “Tell ya what: if everythin’ is on the level and nothin’ explodes, Ah’ll make sure to bring ya back some cake. How’s that sound?”

“Okay! Thanks, sis!”

“Yer welcome, Bloom,” Applejack said with a smile. “Now go get Havoc, wouldja? It’s almost lunch time.”

Apple Bloom trotted over to the front door, and then paused. Her ear twitched, and then she turned to face the window. “Does anypony else hear screamin’?”

Applejack frowned, and then walked up to the window.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,” Ranma sprinted by the farmhouse, wailing in terror. A massive swarm of bees trailed after him, creating a fearsome buzz with the sound of their collective flight.

“Aw, horseapples,” Applejack groaned and turned around. “MAC!! Get the hose! We got magic bees again!” She grabbed her hat from the counter and slipped it on, stomping toward the front door. “Bloom, make sure the first aid kit’s ready when we get back, wouldja? Those stings’re nasty.”

Apple Bloom saluted solemnly as her sister charged out the front door, and a lone tear crawled down the filly’s cheek.

Kamikazan tapped a claw against the obsidian pillow of his roost, the talon chipping deeper and deeper into the gleaming black slab in time with his rising irritation.

Blood Rite was out at the moment, apparently gathering “intelligence” for his asinine plot. That left Kamikazan alone to rest and brood, pondering on his immediate future and the chances that it would conclude with Celestia safely in his claws. His ruminations didn’t leave him at ease.

Kamikazan found Rite’s plans absurd and over-complicated, with far too much focus on evasion and the bizarre artifact that he trusted to bring his ridiculous endgame to fruition. It was one thing to overcome the Equestrian order itself; their magical power was formidable, but not overwhelming. To re-order the solar system was simply madness. And then there was Rite’s… other goal.

“Breaking the bonds of destiny, peh! What a pitiful creature,” Kamikazan sneered. He generally thought the equines were weak and feeble-minded for being subject to the compulsions of destiny, doomed to whatever fate that was grafted to their hind leg, but he didn’t think it admirable to try to reshape the natural order of equinity through sheer magical force. Rite had bitten off far more than he could chew.

But then again, so had Kamikazan.

His own temper and arrogance had eventually set him against the very mare he sought to court, as well as needlessly making an enemy of a bizarrely powerful pony fighter. If he was to ever make Celestia his, the only way now was to seize her by force. Blood Rite had taken advantage of his misery and desperation and struck an alliance, but as the sorcerer’s plot advanced the prince’s confidence soured. Rite had confessed that the Equestrians would be able to track them now that he possessed his precious trinket, and yet he was still not ready to confront them! What was the fool waiting for?

A low hum rose over the cracked ground, diverting the mighty dragon from his fuming. His ally had returned.

Rite stepped out of the shimmering portal, his ears perked carefully. A pair of saddlebags lay over his cloak, stuffed near to bursting. Hanging from his neck, suspended by a chain, was a single tin box; it had the look of an amulet, but was obviously designed to obscure the centerpiece of the accessory rather than show it off.

Kamikazan approached the stallion, his vast bulk cracking the layers of rock underneath. Embers leaked from the corners of his mouth, which was a fairly unsubtle indicator that the dragon prince was annoyed. “Finally, you’re back. Do we move now, or do you wish to waste another sunrise drawing little pictures on the rocks?”

Rite grimaced as he stepped down from the monolith that he used to form his gateways. “I see you’re getting restless, your Highness. But the end of our struggle is in sight.”

“In SIGHT! You don’t say?” The great red serpent made a show of looking back and forth. “The ash storms must be obscuring it then, sorcerer! I do not see my future bride here; only the same bleak, lava-blasted doomscape that’s been my prison for centuries!”

“All right, I get it. You’re eager to head into the final phase. Great.” Rite sighed and took off his saddlebags before lifting a flap with his magic. “As it so happens, I’ve found the perfect occasion for our assault. So perfect, honestly, that at first I feared it was some kind of lure for me!” He levitated a rolled-up newspaper out of his pack, chuckling to himself. “That concern seemed unlikely the more I read on the occasion. Of COURSE Havoc would end up as the other half of a royal wedding. Really, I shouldn’t-“

The unicorn was bowled over by a sudden roar of fury, followed by a blast of hot wind that buffeted him against the ground. Kamikazan reared up, his eyes glowing and flames curling around his jaws.

“NEVER!! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!! HOW DARE THAT CRUDE, VIOLENT WRETCH LAY HIS HOOVES UPON MY PRINCESS!!” The ground started to shake around him, and puffs of dark smoke erupted from several large cracks in the rock surface. “A ROYAL WEDDING?! I WILL SCOUR ALL OF EQUESTRIA WITH FLAME BEFORE IT COMES TO PASS!!”

Rite stumbled backward with wide eyes, quickly summoning a shield to protect him from the flames surrounding the royal dragon. “Wait! Stop! Calm down! It’s not what you think!”

Kamikazan snapped his head down, his eyes aglow with magical power. Fire washed over his scales in waves, and the tremors still hadn’t stopped. “SPEAK, EQUINE,” he commanded, his voice booming.

“Havoc isn’t marrying Princess Celestia, he’s marrying her sister! The cretin rescued her from me during one of my earlier attempts to complete my plan! Celestia is merely officiating the wedding! Look!” He levitated the newspaper up higher, wary of how the pages were starting to darken from the surrounding heat.

Kamikazan stared, and his aura slowly dissipated. The ground stopped shaking, and his eyes returned to their usual dark gold while he squinted at the font printed for creatures a fraction of his size. “…… Celess has a sister?” he mumbled.

“Yes.” Rite stood up straight, smoothing out his cloak and grumbling. “I suppose it’s no great surprise you didn’t know; she’d been banished for a millennium. I don’t know if you’d even been born yet.” He snorted. “The Princess of the Sun can be quite… harsh in her approach to incarceration. I suppose I should count myself lucky.”

Kamikazan kept staring at the paper, pinching it delicately between his claws and bringing it closer. “… Princess… Luna is it? She’s… She’s beautiful.”

Rite’s expression fell, and he arched an eyebrow while looking up at the dragon wordlessly.

“… Ahem! But indeed, it would seem the wretch isn’t marrying Celess after all. Good!” Kamikazan raised his head and flicked the paper away, attempting to look aloft and dignified after his outburst. “So then, what is your plan?”

“The wedding is taking place in Ponyville and is expected to be lightly attended for what one would expect for a royal marriage. Assuming the details in the paper are true, it means we have a few hours in which Princess Celestia will be vulnerable outside of her capital. We probably won’t have to deal with too many guards, but of course there are… other obstacles,” Rite admitted.

“The bride and groom,” Kamikazan rumbled.

“Yes. I estimate my weapon should be able to handle them all, but if they should hold it off even briefly Princess Celestia may be able to escape. I won’t be able to pursue her very far,” Rite explained.

“Really? What use is your weapon if she can simply fly away or teleport?” Kamikazan growled.

“I have countermeasures for that, but even my magic and planning can only account for so many outcomes. And not all the complications will be magical in nature... I can only imagine how upset that pigtailed brute will be at having his marriage interrupted.”

“… Will he be upset?” the dragon mumbled. “He’s an odd one. He seemed uninterested in a fight when I challenged him for the artifact, but then flew into an enraged frenzy because I burned some stupid wagon.”

“Us ponies can be fickle creatures, your Highness. Our reactions to certain threats are not always…” At this the sorcerer paused, his eyes narrowing. “… Proportionate. Nonetheless, the plan is set. All that you need to do now is give yourself to the artifact.”

Blood Rite sat down and tapped both sides of the box around his neck between his hooves. The box cracked open, and then a gemstone fell out only to be scooped up on a cloud of misty white magic. Kamikazan’s eyes narrowed at the MacGuffin Stone. The jewel started to glow, and then it flipped around in the air to face the mighty dragon.

“So this is it, then? I’m to be trapped in this… thing until you deign to release me?” Kamikazan growled. “And you REALLY think this weapon of yours will be enough?”

“Your Highness, please, let’s not start doubting now,” Rite chided. “We will never get a better chance than this. You could have spread your wings and flown away at any time rather than waiting for my preparations, yet here you are, staring into the eye of the unfathomable.” His dry lips twisted into a smirk. “Was it curiosity? Desperation? Vengeance? Or was it love that brought you this far?”

“It was love,” Kamikazan answered immediately. “… Maybe SOME vengeance. Mostly love.”

“This means so much more to me than love or revenge,” Rite said, his voice increasingly sharp. “I will free my people from the shackles of fate and the sun from the grasp of Equestria’s royal order. It is all I want; all I have dreamed of since leaving that wretched castle. But if it’s love you’re after, your Highness, then I have to ask that love be enough.”

“And vengeance. Don’t forget that part,” the dragon grumbled. “Upon my emergence I expect to claim Celess, unharmed, and the pigtailed fool, dead and burned.”

“Would horribly maimed be enough?” Rite asked with a sigh. “Honestly, I expect I’ll have to kill him over the course of the attack just to achieve my objectives, but he’s proven very hard to finish off. Besides, wouldn’t you rather end him yourself?”

Kamikazan raised a claw to his chin. “Hmmm... Now that you mention it...” Then he grimaced, remembering the previous occasions of hooves crashing against his skull. “No. Not enough! I want him dead and gone by the time you release me!”

“... Very well. If that is your price, then I shall pay it,” Rite said, bowing his head. The MacGuffin Stone rose upward, floating through the air toward the dragon.

“Good. So... what am I supposed to do now?” Kamikazan plucked the gem out of the air, holding it between his claws. “Do you cast a spell, or... huh?!” the dragon prince recoiled, and the jewel started to glow.

“Yes, so, the trigger for this process is just touching it,” Rite explained with a polite cough. “It will be fine, your Highness. You’ll probably feel your magic energy being drawn into the gem. That’s normal, probably.”

“Guh! This... This HURTS!” the dragon clenched his teeth, and his eyes flashed. “You didn’t say it was going to hurt!”

“Pain is an illusion of the mind, your Highness,” Rite lectured. “Banish your fears and doubts, Lord Kamikazan. Victory is at hoof. By the time you leave the confines of the MacGuffin Stone ALL our dreams shall be realized!”

“Unless you lose,” spat the dragon, wrapping his claws fully around the gemstone.

“What did I say about fears and doubts?” Rite’s horn flashed, and light pulsed in his eyes at the same time. “There’s no going back, your Highness. For either of us.”

Kamikazan groaned, and a deep rumble filled the air as his body began to break apart. It didn’t feel quite like a magical disintegration – another painful experience he had been unlucky enough to endure in the past – but was also distinctly more forceful than a teleportation spell. His senses faded into empty noise, and his vision went dark.

Blood Rite watched as the mighty red dragon dematerialized, coming apart into motes of light and flooding into the MacGuffin Stone. The gem pulsed lightly, and then plummeted to the ground. The sorcerer again caught it with his levitation magic, and it stopped falling to float on a pillowy cloud of sparkling light.

Rite stared at it briefly, tilting it from side to side and studying it. The jewel had a slight red tint to it now, visible only when the facets caught the light at a precise angle. Less obviously, Blood Rite felt new magical strength suffusing the gem. It felt different than before, when Twilight Sparkle had been imprisoned within. More tumultuous and violent. Mana wasn’t supposed to have a “feel” to it, much less a mood, but this energy did anyway.

“I wish I had taken the opportunity to study the artifact in more detail before,” Rite mumbled to himself as he walked toward the cavern where he had made his makeshift laboratory. “There’s still so much we don’t know about this gem. So many capabilities shrouded in mystery and rumor. But it will have to be enough.”

He trotted inside, past the gaping mouth and over the scattered scraps of obsidian stone. The MacGuffin stone floated along behind him, swinging slowly from one side to the other, like it was weaving through a mysterious wind current. Off to one side of the cave lay a pile of large stones: rough-cut marble in varying shapes and sizes, all of them with extensive runic glyph carvings cut into the surfaces. The decorated rock filled the greater part of the cavern, carefully arranged and spread out across the floor.

“Once again, I hold the future of Equestria in my hooves,” the sorcerer said to himself, approaching a particularly large, central stone. “The sun. The throne. The destiny of the equine race. Such incredible power wrought into the very fabric of magic itself. The pillars of this world.”

A square-shaped slot was drilled in the top of the construct, and Blood Rite floated the MacGuffin Stone up over it.

“There’s no going back now.” The gem fell into the hole.

For a long minute, nothing happened. Rite sat in front of the rock, his brow creased.

The boulder shuddered.

“It works... It really works...” Rite mumbled in awe, releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The runes carved into the stone started to fill with light, as if some luminescent liquid was slowly being squeezed into the furrows. “I... I had expected this, and all the other functions of the MacGuffin Stone operated more or less as I had predicted, but still... the research was so theoretical, so... untested. I can scarcely believe it!”

He shook his head to clear it. “Settle down, Rite. You’re not done yet. Not by a long shot. This isn’t even the most difficult technical challenge ahead.”

Arcs of multicolored lightning started to spark from the main boulder, jumping to the other rocks scattered about the cavern. The runes carved into those pieces began to glow as well, and they started to quiver on the ground.

“First, tests. I must make sure everything is working as expected. Then the shielding wards! I couldn’t add them before, but now that there’s a proper mana core to-“

Rite’s rambling stopped when a light turned on behind him, brightening the cavern interior considerably and casting the unicorn’s shadow across the hunks of carved marble. He blinked, and then twisted his head around. A magic symbol drawn on the wall of the cave in chalk was surrounded by a pulsing, near-blinding light aura. Rite spent several seconds staring, and then much of the blood drained from his face. That was the alarm response from one of his magical sentries. Something was approaching.

“No. No, please, not now... is he... already here?”

Rite stumbled over to a rickety table with a cracked glass orb sitting in the middle, his horn lighting up with desperate fervor. The sphere quivered and flashed, and swirls of color started spinning up within. The sorcerer placed his hooves on either side of the orb, his eyes narrowing while he searched the magical fog.

His horn pulsed, and the colors stopped moving and then shifted in new, stomach-churning patterns. Tiny scraps of what appeared to be colored gas formed vaguely discrete images, mostly in the form of dark rocks and lava flows. Some of the magical shroud seeped out of the crystal ball entirely, squeezing out of the cracks and rising into the air. Despite the poor resolution and the damage to the orb, eventually Rite caught sight of movement in the scrying image. His horn pulsed again, and the image broke apart into colored gas again before reforming into larger, clearer shapes.

“... Princess Sparkle?” Rite mumbled to himself. “And... is that a pegasus hunter squad?”

The sorcerer peered closer at the image, his thoughts racing. Having the Equestrian military, apparently aided by a Princess, was not the kind of threat he had been expecting at this late hour. Arguably, they were far more dangerous than Havoc; a single pony could always be diverted more easily and Havoc in particular could be disabled with a single spell if he was unlucky. Twilight Sparkle, was, of course, extremely dangerous on her own as a clever spellcaster, and if he wasn’t mistaken the pegasus in the lead of the formation was some kind of big-shot General.

Still, he couldn’t help but feel great relief that none of the winged equines had a bright red mane.

“Sparkle must be leading them. Blast! She must have figured out the MacGuffin sense after all! Another reason why I wish she’d never gotten involved.”

Rite looked over the rocks arrayed on the side of the cavern. The large central piece was floating now, and the other pieces were slowly being drawn up into the air as the runic markings pulsed with magic energy. The enchantment process wasn’t all that slow, all things considered, but it took long enough that the soldiers would definitely find him before it was complete. And Twilight Sparkle, being able to tell where the MacGuffin Stone was, would definitely be able to interrupt the process.

This would not do.

“I’m actually tempted to just hurl the dragon at them, but I don’t think the good Prince would be willing to cooperate any further after that,” Rite growled, extending his magic toward the boulder again. “I have to relocate. But they’re almost here! Blast, blast, blast it all!”

He began to levitate the MacGuffin Stone up and out of the construct, and the light that filled the various grooves and pits within the runic carvings rapidly dimmed to nothing. The artifact floated out of the repository slot, and a frosty-looking mist poured off of it while electric sparks lashed out from the edges.

“I’m SO CLOSE. I will not be denied now! Not by Sparkle, not by anypony!”

“So this is Flamehearst, is it? Just a random volcanic wasteland in the middle of an otherwise temperate region?”

General Wrath slowed her airspeed slightly while she surveyed the terrain below her unit. The entire ground was an utterly hostile carpet of jagged, dusty black rock. Blades of glassy obsidian jutted out of massive shale boulders, pockets of lava veins vomited smoke into the air, and even the most inviting patches of ground were too rough to easily navigate by hoof.

“I’m not sure it’s ‘random’ exactly, but yes. That’s what we’re looking at,” Twilight Sparkle confirmed, soaring above the soldiers. “I don’t think these formations are normal. There’s definitely an ambient magical effect altering the elemental composition here.”

“Normal or not, I can see why a lone instigator would make his home here. It’s well within Equestrian territory but the ground is almost impenetrable to hoof patrols and even most monsters. Hay, with all the smoke and hiding places down there I wouldn’t bother with aerial patrols either,” Wrath admitted.

“Only a strong command of teleportation magic would make it feasible for a unicorn to live here. And even then I think most would be completely miserable. We can’t exactly rule out that living in this searing wasteland for years contributed more to his desire for revenge than Princess Celestia or his cutie mark,” Twilight quipped.

“I suppose we could just take some extra time to sit down and listen to the traitor’s life story after we safely and gently defeat him in deadly combat,” Wrath said bitterly. “Perhaps read his memoirs while we’re at it?”

“General, you should feel free to gripe about Princess Celestia’s orders to me all you want, but I hope that when the time comes you’ll do as she asked,” Twilight said. After a pause, she added, “Also if we actually DO find any of his journals that would be extremely valuable and we should definitely recover them.”

“As you wish, Princess,” Wrath said solemnly, her eyes narrowing at something in the distance. “Wait... what’s that?”

Twilight needed to search a little longer to find what the pegasus was referring to, as her eyes weren’t quite as keen as the soldier’s. A speck of color was barely visible through a column of smoke ahead of the squad, and she certainly would have missed it if Wrath hadn’t said anything. The Equestrians soared through the column, and then Twilight’s eyes widened.

“That’s it! A magic gateway!” she said excitedly. “We’re here!” After a few seconds, her expression darkened. “Wait... it’s already active!”

“The gate is open? He’s using it now?” Wrath asked.

“Yes!”

“DOUBLE SPEED!! LET’S SOAR, PONIES!!” Wrath’s orders boomed through the sky like a thunderclap, and before Twilight knew what was happening the pegasi were rocketing ahead of her. She wasn’t even sure how they had accelerated so quickly, which didn’t bode well for her possibility of catching up.

Twilight started beating her wings faster, speeding up as best she could, and then she closed her eyes, turning her thoughts to the MacGuffin Stone. The strange beacon in her thoughts appeared, and her heart sank. The direction was far off their current heading, completely different than it was when she had last checked a few minutes ago. Had it already gone through the portal?

A sizzling whistle came from the sky ahead of her, and Twilight opened her eyes just in time to see a tremendous burst of magical light erupt in the middle of the pegasus formation. Bright rays of force shot in every direction, like shrapnel from a grenade, and even those soldiers who weren’t struck flinched away from the flash and noise. Three of them started to fall out of the air, stunned, and the Princess gasped.

“Oh no! Hang on, I’ll save you!” Twilight teleported, crossing the distance with magic that she couldn’t cover with her wings. As soon as she rematerialized, however, she was almost knocked out of the air when Wrath dove past her.

“GET IT TOGETHER AND GET ALOFT, PONIES!!” the General roared, catching one of the stunned soldiers in mid-air and stopping his death dive. The other members of the squad were likewise helping their stunned companions, catching them before their descents turned fatal. “HE KNOWS WE’RE HERE!! SPARKLE, GET DOWN THERE AND KEEP HIM BUSY!!”

“R-Right! On it!” Twilight tilted toward the ground, her eyes narrowing.

Down below, on an obsidian plateau rising from the wasteland of blackened rock, was a monolith supporting a swirling blue portal. In front of the gateway, as expected, was Blood Rite.

Unexpectedly, the sorcerer was not charging another volley of magical energy to swat his enemies out of the sky. Twilight was preparing to teleport again to evade an incoming attack, but instead the stallion seemed to be hurling large rocks into the portal using both his hooves and telekinesis. She didn’t know what to make of it at first, but after a moment the young Princess decided it didn’t matter. She switched her magic focus and fired an attack spell, sending a purple lance of magical power straight for the rebel.

Rite heard the spell discharge and his eyes bulged as he glanced up at the sky. With a surge of desperate effort, the boulder he was currently levitating lifted higher into the air, and the bolt of purple energy stabbed into it. The sheer force cracked the surface and punched halfway into the stone before tearing it out of Rite’s magical grip. The boulder went flying into the portal, trailing wisps of violet hoarfrost behind it.

The sorcerer seemed shocked by the intensity of the assault at first, to say nothing of his cargo being launched to its destination by sheer chance. He recovered quickly, and as Twilight approached closer his own magic started to wind its way through his horn. “Princess, hello! We really must stop meeting like this!”

A lightning bolt erupted from his horn, but Twilight had enough time to shield herself from the blast. The energy cracked against the barrier, and hot-white ribbons writhed over the glimmering purple screen. “Surrender the MacGuffin Stone and it will be the last time, I promise! You can’t hide from me!”

“If you can sense the artifact then you already know it isn’t here.” Rite kicked a boulder behind him, sending it rolling into the portal. Twilight didn’t get a very good look at it, but once it vanished into the shimmering gateway there was only one more of the strange objects left. It was as big as a young pony itself and covered in magic symbols, but Twilight couldn’t imagine what it was supposed to be.

“The MacGuffin is important... but not as important as you.” Twilight’s eyes flashed with power, and she spread her wings wide. “You can’t escape!”

A thunderous boom came from behind the Princess, and a bolt of lightning streaked past her toward the ground. Rite was already preparing a spell, and when the lightning bolt struck the stallion released a whinny of pain and fury that somehow rose above the thunder. He reared up, his horn pointing toward the sky.

Twilight yelped as a massive column of crimson light appeared in front of her, and she was blown back as a shock wave pulsed through the air. Several pegasus soldiers that were making an attack run were likewise knocked off-course, although they handled this disruption much better than the last magic attack. A huge cloud of black dust billowed up from the ground as igneous rock was crushed and swept up into the stream of energy, and an unearthly screech filled the Equestrians’ ears.

Twilight wasn’t able to place the magic type or the exact mechanics of the spell in the time before it seemed to run its course, and after a few seconds the column narrowed to a thread, and then winked out. She stabilized her flight again, and then looked around to check on the soldiers.

“Is everypony okay? Did anypony actually touch that magic pillar?” she asked.

“We’re fine! SOLDIERS, CLEAR THAT DUST CLOUD!!” Wrath commanded, pointing a hoof at the ground.

She started flapping her wings more slowly and with greater strength, her body dipping slightly and then bouncing back up into the air with every beat. The other pegasi started doing the same thing, all of them synchronizing their timing almost perfectly.

It looked like a rather inefficient exercise to Twilight, but after a few seconds there was a substantial rush of air blowing away the dust cloud. Her horn lit up again, and she once again prepared to unleash her magic the moment she caught sight of the cloaked stallion.

The magic faded when she failed to spot her target. When enough of the volcanic dust was swept away that she could clearly see the teleportation monolith, Twilight cried out in frustration. The portal was gone, and so was Blood Rite. The last of the strange rocks he had been moving was gone too.

“Blast! Did he get through the gate?” Wrath asked.

“I think so! It’s possible he’s trying to hide around here, but I doubt it!” Twilight flew down to the teleportation monolith, landing right in front of the structure.

“Spread out! Search every nook and crevice of this place out to one hundred meters!” Wrath called to her squad. “Don’t stray too far from each other, though! If he ambushes somepony we need to be close enough to help!” Then the general landed behind Twilight. “Can you sense him? Or, the rock, I suppose?”

“Yes. Northwest. But that isn’t very helpful to us. The artifact was already through the gate when we found Rite.” Twilight walked up to the monolith and placed her forelegs against it, standing up in front of the magical construct. “I think I have a different solution, though.”

Her horn lit up again, and this time magic started flooding into the glyphs carved into the monolith. “I’ve been brushing up on static-pattern spell tethers! If I can track the mana resonance before it fades, I can rebuild the spell construct within the runic grid and regenerate an identical pattern!”

Wrath blinked repeatedly. “Uh... well, you kind of lost me after ‘static.’ But if you think it would help, then go ahead.”

Twilight shouted something incoherent, and purple light flooded from her horn into the monolith. It seemed to seep into the carved patterns at random, sometimes clinging to the stone and sometimes bleeding off into colored vapor. Where the magic stuck, more energy seemed to be drawn into it and it expanded outwards, filling nearby runes with a violet glow. This continued for several seconds, with Twilight’s expression growing more intense while her brow furrowed.

“Okay... almost there... I think I’ve got it...” droplets of sweat crawled down the sides of her head as the mana flow intensified, and she started to feel a painful throbbing in her horn. This was an extremely intensive and inefficient way to use a magic spell, and the gateway was not a simple pattern at all. Still, it was her only idea for following the sorcerer, and if she let her concentration slip now then she wouldn’t be able to try it again.

“Yes! I’ve broken through!” The monolith was consumed by purple light, and then a small floating circle of bright blue started opening up in the air in front of her.

Then, after a few seconds, the circle rippled and vanished.

Twilight recoiled, blinking in shock. Her magic still clung to the construct, and the runes flickered softly in an activated state. But the pattern was broken. The spell didn’t work.

“... What happened? Why did you stop?” Wrath asked.

“I didn’t! Something else is wrong! The gate was starting to open!” Twilight complained. “The monolith is still active, it’s just... not doing anything!”

“Why?”

Twilight paused to calm herself and tamp down her frustration. “If everything is working on this end, the interference must be from the other side. He must have shut down the other gate somehow when he saw the portal was opening again!”

Wrath snarled, and a few electric arcs crackled around her greaves. “So what do we do? Where is he?!”

Twilight’s horn pulsed, still thrumming with magic. More droplets of sweat crawled down her brow. Possibilities bubbled up in her thoughts; spells, principles of energy, and magic theory collected over a lifetime of study and years of hard experience. The runes in the monolith shined with equal intensity, weaving a bridge through space and time that led precisely nowhere.

Her horn dimmed. The magic drained from the grooves carved in the stone. The gentle, reverberating hum that enveloped the monolith stopped.

“... Northwest. That way.” She stretched out a wing, pointing away from the gateway construct.

Wrath twisted her head about to look where the Princess was pointing. “... So he got away, then?”

“He did,” Twilight admitted, her ears flipping down. “I’m sorry. If... I’d just used the right spell, or... uh...”

“Ponyfeathers,” Wrath seethed, spitting the words through clenched teeth. Then her ears also pinned back. “It’s not your fault, Princess Sparkle. You did far better just now than me and my team. If we hadn't been taken by surprise or had resisted that opening barrage better than we could have cut off his escape.” The pegasus turned to glare at the armored ponies around her, and they shrunk back nervously.

Twilight turned around and pointed a hoof toward a cavern sitting under a series of interlocking igneous spires. “We can investigate his cavern here. It’s probably where he’s been living. Maybe it will help us figure out what he’s up to, but every hour we spend studying it is an hour we lose trying to catch up to his new location.”

“Check the site for traps,” Wrath ordered a trio of soldiers, nudging her head toward the cave. “You decide how much time you need, Princess. No matter what, we won’t be getting back to the barracks tonight anyway.”

“Right.” Twilight watched the stallions trot toward the mouth of the cavern, and then glanced back at the monolith.

“... Do you think he can pull off whatever he’s trying to do?” Wrath asked after a tense pause.

“...... I think it’s possible, yes. He was bringing... something with him. He was successful. I think he has what he needs for his plans.”

“And all we know about his plans is that he intends to dethrone Princess Celestia?”

“We know that he intends to dethrone Princess Celestia AND needs an incredibly powerful magic source to do so. I also speculate, based on his alliance with Kamikazan, that Blood Rite doesn’t intend to seriously harm her.”

“If you think THAT is going to reassure me...” Wrath started to say, her eyes narrowing.

“No, of course not,” Twilight sighed, pausing to shake her head and get some of the ash out of her mane. “I just wish I knew exactly what he was trying to do. All I know is that it requires a LOT of magic. Way more magic than you’d need just for a battle.”

Wrath huffed angrily and turned toward the cave. “Well, let’s ransack this hole and get a move on. I want another shot at that mule!” She stamped one of her greaves on the ground, and a crackling spark ran up the side of her leg.

Blood Rite gasped for air, his legs quivering under him while the light from his horn dimmed. The energy was bright crimson, and it seemed to cling to his horn like a film rather than the magical aura that he and most other unicorns were used to. In front of him was the shattered rubble that remained of his teleport monolith. Behind him was the more orderly rubble that he had desperately moved through the gateway before Twilight could stop him.

Rite’s rear legs gave out, and he fell backwards onto his bottom while sweat rolled down his neck. When the monolith had lit up again and another portal appeared, he had panicked. The constructs were large structures, with the mass of a fairly large tree and a network of protective spells besides, and destroying one had not been a simple matter. The sorcerer’s heart thumped hard in his chest, but each beat came slowly and heavily, as if the organ was struggling.

“This... This is it, then. The end of the line. I can’t even go home anymore,” he whispered to himself. His hoof quivered as he brought it to the tin box hanging against his chest. A shimmering, nearly invisible wave of mana pulsed from the container at his touch, suffusing his body with raw, arcane power. Yet he felt no comfort from the energies.

Rite turned his head to look over his surroundings. It was a clearing surrounded by forestland, with a small tent nearby and a burnt-out fire pit. No supplies, but a reasonably safe area to rest, at least. This was the same monolith he had used for his expedition into the lost ruins within the Everfree forest. The monolith closest to the Equestrian capital. And his only viable staging point for an attack on Ponyville.

“I have perhaps a full day before somepony of the Equestrian royal order tracks me down. Probably less. All my plans, my alliances, and all my preparations have come to this. I’m ready... I must be! There are no other options now!”

He turned toward the pile of rune-carved stones. “Now, then... preparations... we have so much to do, and even less time than I thought...”

Author's Note

So I know it's been a long time since I last updated this one, and I have to apologize for that. As things have gotten kinda-sorta back to normal at work, I'm now in a position to actually write more often. Maybe I can even bring this story to a close before the end of the year! We'll see :twilightsheepish:

Prologue

Taming the Wild Horse

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Prologue

"Sweet Celestia... what the hay happened here?"

Smoke billowed into the sky in a thick, dark column, very nearly blocking out the sun above. It originated from the gutted remains of a large, abandoned homestead. Mere hours ago, the building would have seemed overgrown and ill-maintained. Now, however, two of the exterior walls had been shattered, the roof was shredded, and smoldering coals covered much of the ground around and within the building.

Looking over the carnage was a group of five creatures: a unicorn, two pegasi, and two griffons. All bore the appearance of seasoned mercenaries; the winged warriors all boasted tough leather armor and were loaded down with weapons and traveling gear. The ponies had blades on their legs, while the griffons each carried a heavy crossbow. The unicorn was a rather gaunt stallion with discolored yellow fur under a black cloak and a series of morbid bone charms hanging around his neck.

"Hold on... is that...?" One pegasus crept closer to the devastation, spotting a stripe of bright red amongst the smoke. Once she got a good angle to view the interior of the wrecked house, her eyes widened. "A salamander! That's what did this!"

Most of the others tensed, expecting a sudden attack. The unicorn frowned.

"Is it still alive?" he asked.

"Uh... not sure. It isn't moving. Definitely looks injured, at least." She squinted, watching for any movement. The beast was large, nearly 8 feet long with bright red, rubbery skin, and she didn't have a good enough view to check if it was breathing. "I don't really want to start poking it with a stick to make sure."

The unicorn's horn flashed, and his eyes flooded with green light. "... It is unconscious, but not dead. Seems like it bit off a little more than it could chew."

"You think it got our target?" asked a griffon. The hybrid avian already had his crossbow out, ready to unleash the weapon at a moment's notice. "The wagon tracks we were following definitely stopped here."

"I believe it probably attacked Havoc, yes," the stallion mumbled while looking over the ruins. "This scene fits everything we know of the lout: a reckless brawler who leaves a trail of devastation behind him."

"I kind of feel like this is more the salamander's fault than the pony's, though."

"And I feel like there are too many burnt-out husks in this stallion's wake to grant him the benefit of the doubt. But it doesn't matter." The unicorn’s eyes went back to normal, and then he nudged his head sharply to the side, gesturing to a griffon. "Search the ruins. We'll either find the smoldering remains of the wagon, or the tracks leading away from here. I'm betting on the latter."

"Wait, you really think our mark fought that thing and won?"

"Until I find our bounty lying in a shattered crater as well, yes, that is my conclusion."

"Look at all the damage it did! The salamander nearly ripped the entire house in half! It took a beating in the process, sure, but you gotta figure it got the pony eventually. Probably ate him already, or burned him completely to ashes."

The unicorn shook his head. "It didn't do this."

"Huh?"

"It didn't cause all this damage to the house. The fires, yes; because that's how salamanders fight. They don't plow through walls or try to hammer their foes into submission. They burn them. It's their only tactic." He pointed to the crumbling wall. "This impact was from something else. Like, say, an unreasonably strong pony bucking a three hundred-pound fire monster through it."

The griffon shuddered, her feathers ruffling around her neck. "Well, I guess you don't rack up a 200,000 bit bounty for being subtle. You think we can handle this, Ghastly?"

The unicorn narrowed his eyes. "Don't lose your nerve. A pony who only understands brute force might be able to muscle his way through the Royal Guard, but it will take more than that to escape us."

"Hey! You guys! I found the tracks!" The other griffon soared back to his teammates, pointing down the road. "The wagon went that way! Fresh tracks, too! He can't be more than a few hours ahead of us!"

"So this guy takes down a salamander and then just strolls off like nothing happened? Crazy."

"And yet, perfectly consistent with what we've heard so far," the unicorn mumbled. "We'll need some extra bodies for this one, I think." His horn began to glow.

His teammates cringed and started backing away. After a few seconds, a bolt of crackling green power blasted from the stallion's horn and lanced through the comatose salamander.

The creature spasmed, its tail lashing back and forth several times in reflexive agony. Then a pall of pale, mystical smoke seemed to rise from the comatose beast. Its head twitched slightly, but its eyes never opened.

"Do you REALLY need to do this?" one of the pegasi asked with a grimace. "You know how much this zombie stuff creeps us out, Ghastly."

Ghastly chuckled while his horn pulsed again. "Don't think of it as turning a dead body into a mindless weapon. Think of it... as giving the losing side a second chance!"

Green streams of magical energy floated out of the unicorn's horn, curving and circling seemingly at random. Most of the mana flows dove down into the ground and disappeared, but one of them curled around the deceased salamander before swooping into its body.

"Move ahead on the trail and find our target," the equine necromancer ordered the pegasi. "Come back as soon as you find him, or if you see anypony else on the road. And watch your backs! We don't know if this 'Calamity' pony is with him, or what her deal is exactly, but there's a chance he has flying support."

The pegasi quickly raced off to do as instructed. The griffons moved closer to Ghastly, watching the ground around them uneasily. Patches of dirt started to shift, rising up into crumbling mounds as something beneath the ground struggled to dig free. The salamander twitched once more, its body stirring from the necromantic energies flooding through its devastated nerves. A few seconds later its eyelids snapped open.

"I would guess that this place is the lizard's feeding ground. Lots of leftovers around here," Ghastly whispered with a smile. All around him, mutilated pony bodies started breaking free of the earth, clawing their way to the surface while groaning weakly. "Waste not, want not..."

"Having wings is much more of a pain than I thought."

Ranma grunted and flapped the aforementioned limbs, splashing water over her back. She was floating in the middle of a placid river, treading the water with a brush clenched in her teeth. Her mane and tail was undone, flowing gently in the river current like a long fan of fiery red algae.

"You'd think you could just scrub them, like fur, but no! They get all bent out of shape! I never guessed birds had it so tough," she complained to herself while running the brush over her feathers. Several of the gray quills tore free from her efforts and fell into the water, but Ranma had no idea if that was progress or a problem.

She'd heard that pegasi sometimes "preened" their feathers, but Ranma had no idea how that was supposed to work. She'd never spent much time studying birds, and the concept was generally fuzzy to someone who had only possessed wings for a matter of weeks. Much like flying, actually.

As her thoughts turned to flight, Ranma glanced up at the sky. Then she looked down the river. Her eyes narrowed.

Then Ranma took a breath and dove under the surface of the water.

For nearly a minute, all was still. A blue light appeared beneath the water.

Then a geyser surged upward from the river's surface, blasting into the air at a slight angle. Another one immediately followed next to it, and then another, and then another, each in accelerating succession downriver. The waters surged for over forty feet before Ranma burst from the river's surface, soaring up into the air on a trail of swirling mist.

The cursed pegasus whooped loudly while she ascended, flapping her wings hard and relishing the rush of air. Ranma still felt like her flying was sub-par compared to the average pegasus (never mind the ordinary birds who didn't have to deal with a horse's body), but she had learned a few impressive tricks nonetheless. Her landings had also improved to the extent that she no long had to literally crash in order to stop. Trixie found that to be a ludicrously low bar to clear, but Ranma thought it was pretty good progress for someone who had to familiarize herself with a new body and a new mode of transit for the lesser part of three weeks.

Ranma shifted her wings to glide, stumbling slightly on the transition. Being soaking wet didn't seem to be improving her flight technique any, and her feathers still felt wrong. But she remained defiantly airborne, airing out her damp fur in the late morning breeze.

Suddenly, she spotted a rising spot of light in the distance. It climbed up over the trees, and then burst into a cluster of sparkling red.

"Is that...?"

Several minutes previous to Ranma's flight practice, Trixie lay next to her travel cart along the side of the road. Several sheets of parchment were laid out in front of her, consisting of the many notes she had stolen from Blood Rite regarding his study of the MacGuffin Stone. The gem itself sat between her front hooves, resting atop a small velvet pouch with a loop of string attached to it.

On her side was a ruby. This gemstone didn't have papers sitting next to it, as she didn't really have any notes on how it worked. She did know its name, though, as it was mentioned briefly by the ruby's former owner before said owner was savaged by a thunder spell: the Alchemist's Heart, an elemental magic aid used by General Firebrand. That certainly implied that it was an artifact of considerable worth. So much so, unfortunately, that Trixie considered that she might not want to be seen with it. The Canterlot Royal Guard was fairly jealous of its magical weapons, as Trixie understood it, and she found traveling with Ranma a great enough liability as it was.

On the other side of her was a pot of hot water hung over a fire and a sack of grain for when Ranma returned from taking his bath. Trixie had already washed up earlier, but Ranma preferred bathing separately from his traveling partner for some reason. Probably another silly human hang-up. Trixie didn’t know and didn’t care.

Trixie squinted down at the MacGuffin Stone, as if she was trying to peer into the magical core of the gemstone and the strange, arcane prison that had once confined Ranma Saotome and then Twilight Sparkle. Blood Rite's notes were complex, esoteric, and constantly wandered into the theoretical, but Trixie thought she had learned enough to use the artifact's most unique function: capturing a living creature to be used as a magic battery.

That is, if she ever found occasion to do so. Trixie had Ranma around to fight off mortal threats, after all. Just this morning he had taken down a salamander that had charged in on them while they were sleeping. Using the MacGuffin Stone to handle such threats not only seemed unnecessary, but Trixie wasn't very confident in the magic involved. The one time in the past she'd tried using an all-powerful artifact to get her way it hadn't gone very well.

Trixie picked up the gem on her hoof and held it closer. Even if she hoped never to use it, she felt inclined to test it. But on what? Ranma was right out; if something went wrong, then she didn't want to be responsible for accidentally vaporizing him or trapping him in the gem forever. She wasn't going to use it on herself, obviously. Random woodland critters seemed like a better option, but Trixie wasn't sure that creatures with such negligible magical energy would make good test subjects.

"Maybe Trixie should take the opportunity to use it on the next aggressor that appears to try to murder Ranma," she mumbled to herself. "Plenty of magical heavyweights among them, and it's not like anypony would miss the chumps. It won't be more than a day or so before the next batch of idiots or monsters zeroes in on us."

The sound of hooves hitting dirt came from behind Trixie, and she snapped her head around. A pair of pegasus mares in light armor were drawing short blades from their leg sheathes just a few feet behind her.

"As usual, Trixie’s pessimism fails to keep up with reality," the magician sighed.

Trixie pushed herself upright and turned to face the pegasi, her expression one of mild irritation. "Okay, what is it this time? Bandits? Guards? Assassins?"

The pegasi gave her an odd glance, then looked about for anypony else.

"Bounty hunters, actually," one of them replied, searching the ground for tracks. "We're looking for somepony."

Trixie hesitated. "And that somepony isn't Trixie?" she asked, pressing a hoof to her chest.

"No. Looking for a pony named Havoc," explained the other pegasus, "or any of his associates. We got a tip that he was headed this way, towing a wagon."

Trixie tilted her head upward as two more bounty hunters swooped in above the road. These were griffons, and each one had a crossbow drawn. Great.

"This is Trixie's wagon, and Trixie is alone," the magician said blithely, "so Trixie can't help you."

One of the pegasi stepped forward, her eyes narrowing. "I'm not saying you're lying," she began, "but your wagon's tracks are the only ones fresh enough to be from our target."

"Trixie can't explain that," the unicorn offered with a shrug. "Are you done? Trixie was just about to sit down to eat."

"No, we're not done," scoffed one of the ponies, "not by a long shot."

A rustling noise came from behind her, and Trixie's eyes darted the bushes along the side of the road. She fully expected to see Ranma strolling out into the confrontation as if nothing at all was wrong, just in time to ruin her story of traveling this road alone.

She was mistaken, and not the good kind of mistaken.

"SWEET CELESTIA, WHAT IS THAT?!" Trixie screeched, jumping up in the air. A stumbling pony corpse was emerging from the brush, groaning. Much of its fur and flesh had been stripped away, and the two rear legs were nothing but scorched bone. Yet the body shambled forward in defiance of the mere laws of nature, its eyes glowing softly and fixed on the blue unicorn.

One of the pegasi chuckled. "Oh, don't mind them. The boss likes to use those creeps every once in a while."

"Boss? Creeps? What are you, crazy?" Trixie shouted, stumbling backward. Her hoof knocked the MacGuffin Stone aside while she backpedaled, and she glanced down at the artifact briefly.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't like necromancy either," admitted the other mare, "but Ghastly is a consummate professional, and he pays well."

A griffon continued. "That means that you won't get hurt, since you're not our target. IF the boss decides you're telling the truth."

More zombie ponies shambled out of the brush, and Trixie shivered at the grotesque sight. Even with all her travels and recent exposure to high-level evil magic, she'd never encountered actual undead before.

So many lovely new experiences. Ranma always attracts the highest-quality freaks, she thought bitterly.

Then a gangly unicorn emerged from the woods behind the groaning monsters. He was a stallion, with a tattered cloak and either heavy bags under his eyes or a disastrous application of eye makeup. Judging by his sketchy cult fetishes and glowing horn, Trixie promptly decided he was the necromancer that led the feathered thugs facing her.

The unicorn swung his head toward the wagon, staring at it for several seconds before his eyes darted back toward Trixie. The zombie ponies stood in formation in front of him, teetering back and forth and trembling with agitation.

"You. What's your name?" the stallion asked.

"Rude! You surround Trixie with corpses and thugs, and then you immediately start making demands?" Trixie sniffed. "What kind of vigilante lawman are you?!"

Ghastly blinked. "I'm-"

"But since you asked," Trixie continued, talking right over the other unicorn, "you stand before the Great and Powerful Trixie, magician extraordinaire!" She kicked out her cape and posed, and her hat slid back to reveal her horn. "AND, as Trixie already told your goons, Trixie doesn't know the pony you're hunting for. So you're just wasting Trixie's time."

The stallion waited a few seconds, scowling. "My name is Ghastly, Miss Trixie. I am hunting the pony fugitive Havoc." His horn pulsed, and a rolled-up poster floated out from his robe. It opened in the air, revealing a picture of Ranma.

Trixie stared at the poster. "Never seen him," she said with a shrug. Then her gaze dipped to the number under the picture, and her eyes widened. "Wait, 200,000 bits? What did this guy do?!"

"His list of crimes actually required an entire other poster, and I didn't bring it with me," Ghastly admitted. "What you need to know is that he's extremely dangerous, and he's nearby."

"Well, Trixie will keep an eye out, then," Trixie said, giving another disgusted sneer at the nearest zombies. "Now go away. These things smell!"

Instead of leaving, Ghastly started walking in a circle around Trixie, looking her over with intense scrutiny. The close attention caused a chill to run down the mare's spine. "What are you doing? Trixie said go away!"

"You're not burned," the necromancer mumbled. "Nor are you bruised. You’re not even dirty. How did you manage to knock out a salamander on your own?"

Oh, fireballs. Trixie TOLD Ranma we should have just run away.

Trixie rolled her eyes and waved a hoof at him, slipping instantly into Boasting Mode. "That thing? PLEASE. The Great and Powerful Trixie can handle wandering monsters without enduring so much as a scratch!"

The bushes rustled again, followed by the sounds of snapping branches. Trixie hesitated, but after a few seconds she turned her head to look.

"YEEP!" the mare shrieked and jumped back, her hat bouncing up in the air before landing over her face. This newcomer was another zombie, but unlike the other bodies, it was made from the corpse of a certain territorial monster that she had encountered that morning.

Ghastly smirked as Trixie backed away in terror. "Really? You defeated the salamander all by yourself? I'm very impressed! I'd like to see how you did such a thing!"

"Uh... w-well... yes! Yes, of course!" Trixie stuttered. "B-But, you know, it w-was alive at the t-time!"

"Oh, don't worry. They don't get much tougher after returning from the dead," Ghastly assured the other unicorn. The zombified salamander stomped up behind him, its swollen tongue hanging limply from the side of its mouth. "Go right ahead. Don't hold back!"

"W-Wait!" Trixie shouted, glaring at the necromancer. "Why does Trixie have to fight because you showed up out of nowhere? Trixie hasn't done anything!" The salamander continued slowly plodding forward.

"Well, I'm afraid there isn't much else to do now that we have no further trail to follow," Ghastly admitted with a sigh. "Unless, of course, you have some information that could help us?" He held up a hoof, and the salamander zombie lurched to a stop.

Trixie stared up at the undead monster. Then she glanced back at Ghastly.

Then she turned to face her wagon, and her horn flashed.

"Fine! I'll defeat your stupid monster! You'll regret messing with the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

The bounty hunters all backed away once Trixie declared her intentions. Ghastly retreated behind a screen of his other zombies, while the winged mercenaries all hovered backward until they were certain they were out of danger. The zombified salamander lurched forward hesitantly, and a rumbling groan came from its throat.

They were no doubt expecting a volley of magical projectiles to fire from the mare's horn, or perhaps for her to drop some defensive spell to stop her opponent. Instead, the cart by the side of the road started trembling, and a loud hiss came from under the crates and blankets.

With a sharp whistle, a half-dozen firework rockets shout out of the cart. The glittering projectiles spun wildly in the air, seeming to zig and zag at random while trailing jets of sparks every color of the rainbow. Five of them regardless curved to the ground onto or around the undead salamander, and the pegasi gasped in surprise and wonder as the creature was consumed in colorful explosions of pink, green, and blue. A sixth rocket curved upward instead, spiraling into the air high above the assembled creatures before detonating.

Ghastly looked up at the firework exploding overhead, smiling as the crimson lights bloomed in a huge globe before falling apart into a cluster of flickering lights. "Beautiful..." he whispered.

Then he dropped his gaze back to Trixie. "Useless. But beautiful."

Trixie gulped and took a step back. The colorful explosions had been expended, and patches of the ground had been lit ablaze from the fireworks. The salamander itself, however, seemed completely unscathed. The undead beast continued lumbering forward, its jaws yawning open.

"The salamander is, after all, an elemental creature," Ghastly explained with a chuckle. "While many undead are vulnerable to fire due to the decay of their bodies, I'm afraid this one is fresh enough that it maintains its fireproof skin. Good try, though."

The salamander continued to advance at a sluggish pace. Colorful embers still clung to spots of its body, peeling and bouncing off with every step before fading away into smoke. Its tail swept back and forth, digging scorched furrows into the ground behind it.

"What's wrong, Miss Trixie? Is that all? Surely you didn't defeat the salamander the first time with fireworks, did you?" Ghastly asked with an arched eyebrow. "I will ask one last time: Where is Havoc?"

"Trixie told you, Trixie doesn't know!" the magician shouted as she stumbled backward. "If you guys want to know where Calamity is, then Trixie might be able to help!"

"Calamity? The pegasus?" Ghastly asked, his ear twitching. His horn pulsed, and the salamander zombie froze in place. Then several more rolled-up posters levitated out of his pack and hovered around him. One by one they opened up for his perusal, and the necromancer's gaze fixed on one of them. "Hmmm... 5,000. Not exactly a great payday, but I suppose it's worth letting you go."

The other posters rolled up and floated back into Ghastly's pack. He looked over at Trixie. "Very well. Where is she?"

"Wait for it..." Trixie mumbled.

The other unicorn arched a brow. "Wait for what?"

"KYAAAH!!"

The bounty hunters whipped around at the scream, turning just in time to see one of the pegasi hit the ground. She bounced and rolled, eventually stopping in heap of twitching limbs and scattered feathers. Her short sword fell to the road behind her, stabbing into the dirt by her leg.

Soaring above them, a certain redheaded pony banked hard in the air, curving into a wide turn around the confrontation below.

"Trix, you okay?!" Ranma shouted down. "I was gone for like a half hour and we have bandits already?!"

"They're not bandits, they're bounty hunters!" Trixie retorted sharply. "Three guesses as to what they're here for!"

"Ah. So this is my fault," Ranma mumbled as the griffons took aim with their crossbows, "should have figured that from the beginning, I guess."

The griffons fired, sending a pair of blunt-tipped bolts springing into the air at the martial artist. Ranma rolled in an attempt to dodge the projectiles, but she was still inexperienced with flying and the eagle-eyed mercenaries were on target. One projectile struck her hip and bounced off painfully, while the other grazed her wing and sent Ranma into a tailspin. She hit the road hard, grunting painfully while a cloud of dust billowed up around her.

"Reload! I want her to take a few lumps before we bind her!" Ghastly ordered. His horn flashed brighter, and the zombies lurched in the direction of the road. "Surround her, my servants! Pin her down!"

As the undead sped up into a stumbling trot and the salamander turned toward the road, Ghastly caught a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He whipped his head around, fully expecting to see Trixie trying to launch some kind of sneak attack or diversion in order to escape.

What he saw instead was a large magical gemstone arcing through the air toward his head. He was surprised enough that he didn't manage to dodge the object, and he flinched away when the gem hit his cheek and stuck there.

After a moment, he realized that last part was strange. Gemstones didn't tend to adhere to things. His unease only grew as it began glowing and emitting some kind of soft keening noise. When he felt the magical energy seep out of his horn, Ghastly determined that, yes, he was definitely in trouble.

"What is this? Get it off!" the necromancer growled, pawing at the MacGuffin Stone with a hoof. His panic grew when it too instantly stuck to the gemstone.

"Just a little experiment," Trixie quipped. "Feel free to explain your experience in detail as you're absorbed into the artifact, please. It will help Trixie determine exactly how cruel and dangerous this process is."

"You treacherous mule!"

"Or you can just scream impotently the whole time. Trixie is okay with that, too."

The other bounty hunters remained unaware of their leader's plight, having swooped down to surround the pony they had grounded. The griffons swiftly reloaded their crossbows, ready to pummel the martial artist into submission from afar. The remaining pegasus drew some rope that was attached to her side, prepared to swoop in and bind their prey.

Ranma pushed herself up off the ground and shook herself like a dog, throwing off the dust from impact. Then she turned her head up.

The crossbows snapped back, releasing another pair of blunt-headed bolts at their bounty. The pegasus dropped into a low dive, her rope held loose in her mouth.

Ranma's legs struck like lighting, lashing out like a gray blur. She slapped one bolt away into the dirt, and knocked the second up into the air, sending it spinning over her head. She turned around, briefly wetting her lips while the crossbow bolt fell back down from the height of its arc.

Then her back leg kicked out at the bolt on the way down, striking it perfectly on the back end and sending it shooting straight for the other pegasus.

The bounty hunter barely had time to blink before the projectile smashed into her head, pitching her into a backward somersault. She spun twice before she hit the ground, a lump growing on her temple and her eyes swirling in her head.

While the griffons gaped, Ranma glanced over at the slowly approaching undead. "Geez guys, really? Zombies? You're out-creeping the last evil sorcerer I had to fight." One of the pony zombies got close enough to bite her, and Ranma slammed a hoof into its chest. The monster was sent sprawling into the dirt, tripping up another approaching zombie.

Ranma kicked away another corpse, and then heard the snap of the crossbows above her. She hit the ground in a roll, dodging the pair of bolts, and then flipped herself back upright with her wing. Another undead pony lunged from behind, and it was promptly bucked into the air for its trouble.

Coming up on her side, however, was a familiar-looking reptilian creature. "Wait, is this the same lizard that jumped us this morning? Yeah! I can see where I kicked it in the neck!"

The undead beast lunged forward, and Ranma leapt to the side to dodge its snapping jaws. She kicked out at one of the salamander's legs, and it staggered briefly before swiping at the redheaded mare.

"Don't worry about the zombies!" Trixie yelled. "I got the necromancer! Once he's out of action the dead freaks will fall apart!"

"That's not how it works, you fool!" growled Ghastly. The stallion was on his side now, thrashing painfully while the gemstone attached to his face pulsed with magic. "Getting rid of me doesn't destroy the zombies, it just means they're no longer under my control!" The stallion's body started to glow, and he screamed before his body broke apart into motes of glittering light. The magic sparks immediately sucked themselves into the MacGuffin stone, which gleamed brightly before it dropped onto the ground.

"...... Oh," Trixie mumbled, frowning at the zombies around her. "Oops."

"Grrrrraaagh!" One such undead pony stumbled over to the magician, lunging for her tail. Trixie squeaked and bolted away, galloping in wide circle around Ranma and the salamander zombie trying to squash her.

"Hey! What are you doing, you fool?! Trixie's in danger over here!" Trixie shouted in a panic. Several other zombies that had been converging on Ranma started stumbling toward Trixie instead, joining the first monster that was chasing after her.

"Yeah, okay! I'll be there in a-" Ranma ducked under the salamander's claws, and then bucked the zombie in the throat before jumping over another swipe. "-second! Geez, this thing was easier to stop when it was alive, even with the fire breath!"

The twang of crossbows firing came from above, and Ranma jumped into a somersault before another pair of bolts sailed under him. The missiles struck the salamander's side, cracking the outer layers of scales before bouncing off harmlessly.

"Do you guys think you could stop that?!" Ranma shouted at the griffons. "My boss is in danger, here! Do you want to get her killed?!" She jumped to the side again as the salamander barreled forward, snapping its jaws wildly and thrashing its tail.

"I could live with it," admitted one of the hybrids, snapping another bolt into his weapon.

"Kinda her fault for taking out the boss when he was keeping the creeps under control," reasoned the other one before taking aim at Ranma again.

"Calamity! We need an escape plan!" Trixie shouted while galloping away from the zombies.

"I REALLY wish you would stop calling me that!" Ranma shouted back. She jumped over another lunge by the salamander, landing on the monster's head and then kicking off onto its back. A pair of bolts rained down behind her, nailing the beast in the face.

"Now is NOT the time for that argument! Don't you have a crazy martial arts technique or something that can deal with this?!"

"Well... yes, actually." Ranma spread her wings as the salamander zombie started thrashing about, balancing herself while it tried to lose her. "Thing is, I need some heat for it to work. This lizard isn't spitting fire like it did when it was alive, all the zombies are ice cold, and the dumb half-cat freaks aren't close enough to help."

"Heat. You need heat. Okay..." Trixie glanced over to their campfire as she ran, wondering if the gently burning coals would be enough. Then a bright red spot on the ground caught her eye, and she got a much better idea. "You want heat? Trixie can give you heat!"

Her levitation magic scooped up the ruby that lay in the grass, sending it arching through the air to hover next to her. She skidded to a stop, turning sharply to face the lumbering undead that limped after her.

"Trixie was hoping for a chance to test this gem, too! Let's see what General Firebrand's favorite toy can do!" Her horn flashed, and a magic circle was drawn in the air out of glowing embers. "Oh, wow. That's new," the magician mumbled, frowning. With a shrug, Trixie aimed her horn at the nearest zombie and finished the spell.

With a loud whistle, a white-hot bolt shot out of Trixie's horn and struck the first of the undead, knocking it flat off its hooves. Before the creature even hit the ground the point of impact exploded, blasting it apart in a burst of sparkling pink light.

Trixie flinched away from the colorful explosions, and her ears flipped back from the chain of thunderous booms coming from dangerously close range. The effect of the spell was basically the same as her magic fireworks, and as a result more suited to dazzling crowds than slaying monsters. After the sparks faded, however, it seemed as if the Alchemist's Heart had done the trick; the closest zombies lay on the ground twitching, their bodies ablaze with festively prismatic flames.

Trixie turned to check on Ranma. The martial artist had made her way down the road, leading his opponents away from Trixie and the parked wagon. The griffons continued to fire on her from high above, hovering far outside even Ranma's jumping range and growing increasingly irritated as each volley was dodged or deflected. The zombies lumbered down the road after the pegasus, forming a small mob with the undead salamander at its core. Trixie didn't know what the martial artist intended, but now that she was relatively safe she felt a small, unfamiliar pang of concern for her bodyguard.

"Trixie has a fire spell available! Now what?!" the magician shouted.

Ranma slapped another bolt out of the air, and then kicked aside one of the zombies that trotted out ahead of the pack. "Okay! Shoot it at me!"

Trixie's horn flashed, and the magic circle appeared at the tip. The Alchemist's Heart trembled in the air next to her, flooding her spell pattern with power far beyond the unicorn's typical ability. "You mean, to catch the zombies chasing you?"

"No! Straight at me! Or just above me might be better! I'm not COMPLETELY sure this will work!" Ranma shouted back.

"Hey, are you trying to cheat us out of a bounty or something? We can still collect if you’re dead!" shouted one of the griffons. "What the hay is wrong with you?!"

Trixie agreed in principle with the bounty hunter's complaint, but didn't waste time questioning Ranma. "Get ready for some Great and Powerful pyrotechnics!" the unicorn shouted. Then she fired a series of three fireworks straight down the road at her companion.

Ranma paused, skidding to a stop in the dirt. Then she reared up onto her hind legs, her wings spread wide. She spun once in place, and a pulse of shining blue light broke around the pegasus and spread outward.

The griffons paused, surprised by the sight. Then each of them shuddered as an inexplicable, icy wind whipped through their feathers.

"What? What is this? Did she do that?"

"I kind of have a bad feeling about this..."

The magical fireworks met the wave of wind, and each rocket curved sharply against the cold air, spinning wildly and trailing multicolored sparks behind it. Ranma spun again, and another coil of freezing cold lashed out from her wings. The magic projectiles started circling Ranma in a spiral, caught in the vortex, while the nearest zombies started to collect frost on their bodies.

"HIRYUU... SHOUTEN..." Ranma took one step back, chambering her foreleg. "HAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

Trixie arched an eyebrow as a tornado blasted upward from the road, surging into the sky around a pillar of brilliant blue light. "... That's also new. Lots of interesting elemental catastrophes happening today," the magician mumbled. She had been quite impressed with herself for turning her usual illusionist tricks into dangerous combat spells with the aid of Firebrand’s ruby. It was slightly humbling (and more than a little annoying) to see her bodyguard somehow turn those incendiaries into a full-blown natural disaster.

The griffons were the first to be hit, of course, as they were holding position immediately above Ranma. They were lifted upward by the initial wind surge and sucked into the vortex, flailing in a panic, and then blasted away by several waves of compressed air. The zombies, lacking any particular motivation other than an instinctual need to assault the living, walked straight into the cyclone and were sucked into it one by one. Only the salamander offered any kind of brief resistance to the buffeting wind, but after a few seconds it too lifted off into the sky.

Trixie watched the bodies circle the outer edge of the cyclone for a while, and then she started in surprise once she recognized one of them. She had lost sight of Ranma when the tornado appeared around her, but she had assumed that the martial artist would be somehow protected from her own ability. That didn't seem to be case, and Ranma was being carried along and flung away just like all the other bodies.

"Well... Ranma's gotten halfway decent at flying," Trixie mumbled, watching the little gray dot vanish into the sky, "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"This wasn't worth iiiiiiiiit!!" Ranma shouted as she flailed through the air.

Ranma remembered what had happened the last time she had used the hiryuu shouten haa, and had tried harder to remain in the (obnoxiously narrow) safe zone in the eye of the cyclone. Unfortunately, the last time she had been an earth pony. Pegasi were lighter and had an extra pair of limbs specifically designed to catch wind. Despite Ranma's initial interest at the prospect of having wings, he was generally finding them more of a hindrance than an advantage.

The cursed pony tucked into a somersault as she was launched from the edge of the tornado and up higher into the sky. The cyclone waned rapidly as it lost the mix of cold and hot air, and collapsed into a series of cold snaps. The zombies instantly plummeted to the ground, but Ranma spread her wings and tried to plot her descent. She was moving far faster than before, and not under her own power, but the cursed pegasus figured she could still control her fall and avoid a crash.

"Okay, I think I see Trix. Plenty of open road down there for a landing. This is fine." She tilted slightly to the side, aiming her long dive toward a low-lying cloud bank. "Wow, I got tossed a long way. I hope those griffons are going to survive the crash." The cloud rushed up to meet the transformed pony. "I mean, sure they were trying to capture me, but it's not like OOMPH!"

Ranma struck the cloud face-first, and was quite surprised to find that it was like diving into a pile of soft pillows. Meaning it wasn’t physically painful, but she was plenty shocked that there WAS an impact. She bounced, flailing wildly, and then rolled off the edge of the cloud. Gravity promptly took charge once again, and the martial artist plummeted straight downward without the control of her wings.

She blinked repeatedly, staring up at the offending cloud as it grew smaller in the distance. "What the HELL was that?!" she complained, looking at her hooves. Bits of the cloud seemed to be stuck to it, like little balls of sticky cotton, and those bits slowly peeled away and dissipated in the air as she fell.

Ranma was still staring at the bizarre cloud-stuff when her back hit the first branch on her way down.

"Agh! Ow! Oof! Damn it! Gack!" Ranma gracelessly broke through tree branch after tree branch, unable to find her footing in time to get upright or properly slow her descent. Then she slammed into the ground hard, offering a pained yelp as leaves and dust jumped into the air around her.

"Uuuuugh..." the martial artist groaned. Luckily she hadn't landed on either of her wings, as the impact would have probably broken them, but they had taken a severe beating from the tree branches anyway.

Ranma continued lying on the forest floor on her side and groaning in pain until she heard hoofsteps approaching.

"So. You create tornados now," Trixie said evenly as she approached her bodyguard.

"I can, yeah. Not always a good idea, though, so I try not to overuse that technique," Ranma explained.

"Trixie could see that, yes," the magician drawled. She had the MacGuffin Stone and the Alchemist's Heart with her, and the former artifact pulsed with a strange green energy when she held it up. "Well, Trixie has good news, goodish news, and bad news. The good news is that Trixie was able to test both of the magic gems you stole and make use of them. The goodish news is that none of the zombies survived the fall, and are now splattered all over the road."

"What's the bad news?" Ranma asked before she rolled onto her belly.

"You don't seem to have broken anything important, so you still have to tow Trixie's wagon."

Ranma groaned as she stood up, her legs aching and her wings twitching. "Can I at least eat before we set out again?"

"If you can maintain an appetite with pony corpses pasted around the camp fire, Trixie has no objections." The unicorn turned away and trotted back toward the road.

Ranma followed, forcing herself to match the magician's pace against her creaking limbs. "Hey, Trix?"

"Yes?"

"Are the clouds on this planet... uh... how to put this...... solid?"

"No. Unless you're a pegasus. Then yes."

They walked in silence for some time after that.

"... What? That... I mean... you can't just... how does... WHAT?"

Trixie stopped in place, rolling her eyes. "Right. Trixie keeps forgetting that you're new to this equine thing. Trixie doesn't really have time to explain all the basics, but in a nutshell: pegasi and griffons can walk on clouds."

"HOW?" Ranma asked incredulously.

"Magic."

"I thought only unicorns could use magic!"

"That's practically true, but technically inaccurate. If you'd like, Trixie can lecture you on the difference as we make our way to Fillydelphia."

They reached the abandoned camp fire, and Trixie immediately levitated the pot of hot water into the air and dumped it on Ranma. The pigtailed pony shuddered as two of his aching limbs vanished, and then shook himself to rid his fur of the excess water.

"Okay, so if unicorns can use magic, and pegasi can fly and touch clouds, what can earth ponies do?" Ranma asked, looking down at his hooves.

"Form a rural pony underclass that makes unicorns and pegasi look better, mostly," Trixie replied. Ranma shot her an annoyed look. "What? Most of them are farmers and laborers. It's not Trixie's fault!"

"Whatever, Trix." Ranma started in on the oat sack, quickly gulping down several mouthfuls before pulling his head out again and licking his lips. "That should hold me. Let's get back on the road before the bounty hunters wake up."

"Oh! That reminds Trixie!" Trixie glanced over at the MacGuffin Stone, and then floated it over in front of her. "Let's see... if Trixie recalls correctly - and Trixie always does - the discharge pattern should be...... Got it."

A screech came from the gem as it discharged a bolt of searing green energy angled into the ground. The emerald fireball dug a glowing furrow in the dirt, and then the luminous magic quickly receded. Ghastly lay at the end of the trench, his eyes wide and blinking in shock.

"Wh-What? What just... Where did I...?" He mumbled half-questions while he lay in the dirt, his mind trying and failing to assemble his recent and current circumstances.

He felt a hoof tap his back, and the necromancer twisted his head up. Ghastly found himself staring into the face of his bounty: the earth pony Havoc. Numerous memories crashed into place regarding the recent past, but Ghastly still wasn't clear on how he had ended up lying in a ditch within leg's reach of an infamously dangerous brawler.

"Hey, did you happen to see my clothes while you were in the stone? Red shirt, black pants? Shoes, shorts? Anything?" Ranma asked. He frowned as he looked over the other stallion's cloak and pack. "It let you keep YOUR stuff. What's with that? Is there a trick to it?"

Ghastly didn't understand the earth pony's rambling, and so he didn't bother replying. His horn glowed with eerie light, summoning the magical strength necessary to strip decades from a pony's life in the blink of an eye. Ancient and vile powers surged to the horn's tip, weaving disparate energies into a corrupted web of pure entropy.

Then Ranma slugged him in the cheek. Ghastly's spell fizzled and his head sunk into the dirt.

"Eh. Worth a shot," Ranma mumbled.

"Stop messing around with that loser and help Trixie pack! We don't know if there are any zombie stragglers or other bounty hunting companies on our tails!" Trixie levitated the scattered items into her wagon, hurling blankets and research notes on arcs of blazing pink. Ranma wasted no time helping despite his injuries, tossing the feedbags into the carriage along with the camp's cookware.

Trixie started climbing into the wagon herself, and then a small leather sack flew through the air and nearly brushed her ear. The sack landed atop her blankets with a metallic jingle, and the drawstring loosened enough for the magician to see the glitter of gold bits piled within. Apparently Ranma had found a spare moment to loot their attacker.

"Trixie thought you only took from those who were trying to kill you? These bounty hunters clearly wanted you alive," the unicorn noted while continuing her climb.

A pair of smaller coin bags arched over her head and landed in the corner of the wagon. "They nearly hurt you. That more than qualifies, if you ask me," Ranma grumbled, stepping away from the unconscious pegasi.

Trixie arched an eyebrow and sat down on the blankets. "It is a supreme irony that Trixie earns more money being an accessory to your crimes than Trixie does plying her actual trade nowadays. Trixie never imagined that evading arrest could be so lucrative."

Ranma paused in fitting himself into the wagon harness. "... Is that a compliment?"

"It's not an insult."

"I'll take it." Ranma let the wagon harness fall onto his back, and a painful shudder rolled down up his spine and into his shoulders. He hissed through his teeth, and his left hoof flinched up from the ground. Ranma's ability to suffer deadly impacts and stay mobile was legendary, but those were normally brief, high-adrenaline situations. Having to haul a heavy load while injured was a misery of his younger training days that Ranma had been glad to leave behind.

Training... yeah, okay. Think of this as training. I mean, I have a little blue horse yelling at me instead of a fat old man, but it really isn't all that different from back then, the martial artist thought to himself. He settled against the harness, tensing his muscles against the daggers of pain sure to come.

"Wait a minute," Trixie said suddenly, "hold still."

Ranma froze on command, perplexed. Was she still getting comfortable in the wagon? Did she spot something she'd left behind?

Then he felt a warm fluid touch his back at the base of his tail. He remained still as requested, and the fluid continued dribbling slowly up over his back. Eventually it was passed over his shoulders, and then he felt a towel start to rub over him.

"Trix?"

"This is an herbal balm Trixie keeps in case of sprains or other muscle injuries," the unicorn said curtly. "Trixie doesn't really want to waste it like this since you seem to recover from mortal injuries with little more than quick nap, but it would be bad if your condition got worse and then we got ambushed again." The bottle of balm drizzled the last drops of oily medicine onto the stallion's coat, and Trixie flung it back into the wagon with a gentle pulse of telekinesis. Her magic directed the towel over Ranma's shoulders, and he released a gentle sigh as she kneaded the balm into his joints. "And, of course, the chances of us being ambushed again are something like fifty-fifty so long as Trixie keeps you around. Go figure."

Ranma felt a sudden conflict of impulses. Macho dismissals, sarcastic rebuttals, and abrasive defenses all rushed ahead of his thoughts only to wither away on his tongue. As the pain in his bones ebbed and Trixie completed her ministrations, only one clear response bubbled to the surface.

"Thanks, Trix," the martial artist mumbled. Maybe this is a LITTLE different after all.

"You're welcome." Trixie folded up the towel and levitated it into a convenient gap in her things. "Now let's get going. If we can avoid being held up by vigilantes, lawponies, or random monsters, we should be able to get to Fillydelphia by tomorrow morning."

And so Ranma started forward, towing the stage magician down the road. The path weaved around the broken bodies of twitching undead creatures and the crater left by the sudden tornado, but neither pony paid it much attention. They had left behind much greater displays of devastation and tragedy in the past, and fully expected to encounter worse in the future. Such fatalistic presumption was no longer even a matter of pessimism or fretting about the cruel whims of fate. This was their reality now: a constant, disjointed journey across the Equestrian countryside, pursued by ponies of the state and predators of the wilds as the stewards of an ancient power capable of shattering worlds.

Was this destiny? Some grand confluence of coincidence or manipulation of events from beyond equine comprehension?

Trixie doubted it. She'd never felt so completely detached from her true destiny and profession as she did now. The ever-present pull of her cutie mark was weak and baffled, and her talents had found new purpose in acts of improvised violence and clever diversion that had before been firmly restricted to the realm of "embellished" storytelling. Even her general loyalty to her country and the sovereign Princesses of Equestria had become surprisingly flexible and transitory now that she had come to regularly view Equestrian soldiers as enemies or obstacles. Trixie felt like a mariner on the open ocean, possessing a rudder and full sails but no charts or compass.

It wasn't a bad feeling.

Author's Note

I'm not too proud to admit that much of this chapter was designed around the cover art. Bakki is the best, and it annoys me that I commission great art from him and then struggle to actually use it in-story.
And speaking of art that I commissioned but was finished at awkward and inconvenient times:

Heartbreaker, Skullcracker

Taming the Wild Horse

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Chapter 5

Heartbreaker, Skullcracker

Trixie's brow furrowed beneath her horn. She stared across the mining cavern at the other mare, studying her features. Her eyes lingered on the ridiculously oversized greaves that the bandit queen wore. She looked back and forth at the numerous other rogues who patiently waited behind barriers of wood and iron.

"What the HAY is going on, here?!" she shouted.

Morning Star looked up at the magician, and her expression cooled considerably. She had regarded Ranma with flirty joy and false petulance, but it all seemed to drain away when she was forced to address another mare.

"Ah. You must be the unicorn we were told about. Trillby, or something?" she asked impatiently.

"TRIXIE!" Trixie corrected. "You're standing before the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"Yes, fine. Whatever." Morning Star sat back onto her haunches, and the sound of rattling steel bounced through the cavern. "Why are you here? What do you want?"

Trixie gaped, briefly finding herself unable to answer. She and Ranma had assaulted Star's minions, forced their way into her home, and made little secret of their opinion of thieves and raiders. What did Star THINK they wanted?

"We're here to put a stop-" Trixie began, only for Star to click her tongue and interrupt.

"No," the bandit leader said pointing an armored foreleg at the unicorn, "not 'we.' I asked why YOU'RE here and what YOU want. Not Havoc."

"What?" Ranma tilted his head to the side, confused. This wasn't going at all as he had expected it would.

"Do you want money? Are you here for something that was stolen?" Morning Star asked, her voice sounding increasingly irritated. "If I can throw a sack of bits or something at you to send you out the front door, I will. I'm not interested in you. Take what you want and go away."

Trixie, naturally, was furious at the dismissal. "Trixie isn't going anywhere! You're a brutal, ruthless outlaw and your days of stealing from innocent ponies is over!" she barked. "You can either give up now, or you can find out firsthoof why Havoc's bounty outpaces yours by a good fifty thousand bits!"

Morning Star laughed. This didn't help to lessen Trixie's anger, obviously.

"Oh, my! You really came here to defeat me? Like the Equestrian heroines of old! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Her laughter was like a crystal bell; crisp and high-pitched and almost obnoxiously feminine.

"What's funny about that?" Ranma asked, arching an eyebrow. "You think we can't?"

Star's laughter melted away, and she gazed at Ranma with a smirk. "Maybe you can. More likely you can't. But it's such a pointless question. Why should we fight?"

"Because... you prey on the weak and kill innocents and we hate that?" Ranma said. "Also, we kind of need some money for a thing. So after we wipe you guys out we'll take some of your booty, too."

"If Miss Trixie wants money, I can give her money. I don't care. I just want her gone," Morning Star said with a shrug. Then she fixed a smoldering grin on the martial artist. "But my booty is all yours, Havoc."

"............" Ranma stared in befuddled silence for several seconds, trying and failing to come up with a response to that. Then he turned back to face Trixie, gesturing to the bandit queen helplessly.

Trixie rubbed a hoof against her forehead, sighing in exasperation. "Mother of Celestia, not again..." the magician grumbled to herself. Then she addressed Morning Star directly. "Okay, Trixie thinks she understands what's happening here. Except it's not happening at all. Havoc isn't going to be your stud, much less join your gang of cutthroats. We're here to put a stop to your pillaging, and we won't be bought off!"

"Yeah! Exactly! What she said!" Ranma was reasonably discouraged to realize that Morning Star had been flirting with him, but at least he didn't have to feign interest back this time.

"Why not?" Star asked, pouting. "Why would you want to hurt us and risk harm to yourselves when we could all walk away with something we want, instead?"

"And what about what the townspeople want?" Ranma demanded.

Morning Star blinked. "Who cares? They're a bunch of dim, hapless wretches. If they weren't being fleeced by me they'd just fall under the sword of some other rogue. Or even - Tartarus forbid - end up paying taxes to those royal layabouts in Canterlot." She made a disgusted face. "Ignorant sheep like that aren't worth the effort, Havoc."

"That's not true!" Trixie shouted.

Then she paused.

"To clarify, Trixie actually agrees with all of that, but still finds your behavior indefensible." She tapped a hoof onto the ground. "Havoc, she's just wasting our time. Kick her around a little, would you?"

Ranma bolted into action, galloping head-on toward the bandit queen. He was expecting the other rogues to attack immediately, and was reasonably surprised - and slightly suspicious - when they didn't bother.

"You really want to do this, then?" Morning Star asked with a sigh.

Then she kicked out a foreleg.

Ranma had already been prepared to make an emergency dodge, and he immediately rolled hard to the side. A heavy metal weight smashed into the spot he had evacuated, tearing through the floorboards and kicking up a spray of dust and wooden shrapnel.

The weight was a horseshoe. Specifically, one of the massive, battered horseshoes from the bottom of Star's greaves. It was attached to a length of chain on the middle of the arch, and that chain led across the room and up to Morning Star's front-left leg.

"Nice moves," she cooed, lifting her hoof sharply. The horseshoe flew back to her, its chain rapidly snaking around the metal sleeve around her leg. Then it struck the front edge of the piece of armor, snapping back into position with a hefty, metallic clang.

"So that's what those are for," Ranma mumbled, his eyes narrowing. Trixie was still shocked to see the disguised flail, but the martial artist was quite used to bizarre weapons and his mind was already picking them apart. Weight, range, speed, impact power, and likely weaknesses were all considered in seconds, and then expanded into the most likely counters available in his repertoire of techniques.

"Do you like them?" Morning Star chirped, turning around and posing. "The Heartbreaker Greaves are my signature magic weapon! A set of legendary monster-hunting gear passed down from my father!"

"Magic weapon? UGH." In an instant, Ranma discarded every estimate he'd made as probably useless, and his expression soured.

"Of course they're magic! Even I wouldn't be strong enough to wear them otherwise!" Star laughed, turning her head around to smile at the martial artist. "And I definitely wouldn't be able to do something like THIS!"

She almost casually kicked a rear leg back, and the attached horseshoe flew toward Ranma like a cannon shot. He jumped away, and the iron weight crashed into the floor beneath him and tore a meter-long trench in the floor.

"And another!" Star hopped up onto her forelegs and then kicked out again, sending her other rear horseshoe sailing toward the pigtailed stallion. Ranma dodged again, rolling away before the missile smashed a dining table into little shards of wood.

Morning Star pulled her hind legs back, and both chains flew back to her and snapped the horseshoes into place under her hooves. She fell back onto all fours, and then turned back around with a coy flourish.

"So you see you don't have a chance now, right? You should really just give up. What I'm offering you is a LOT more fun than having your skull smashed open with iron weights!" Morning Star smiled eagerly and then sat down again, fluttering her eyelashes at the pigtailed stallion.

Ranma stood up straight and arched an eyebrow. "Don't have a chance? What are you, kidding me? You think I'm going to back down over some fancy footwear?" He snorted and brushed a hoof against his chest fur. "Lady, this isn't even CLOSE to the most dangerous magic thingy I've had flung at me. I'm not giving up!"

"But whyyyyyy?" Morning Star whined, pouting. "I don't wanna fight! Let's go make out, instead!"

"No! No making out!" Ranma snapped, a vein popping up on his head. "I'm here to bring you to justice!"

"Justice? You? You're a criminal, too!" Star pointed out, frowning. "Hay, your alleged crimes are MUCH worse than mine! Why would you put yourself in harm's way for the weaklings in Venom Valley? Any one of them would put you behind bars if they got the chance!"

"The bounty thing is besides the point," Ranma said, waving a hoof dismissively. "You've been abusing the ponies around here, and they don't deserve that. Taking you out is the right thing to do!"

Morning Star frowned more deeply, tilting her head to the side. "...... I see. 'The right thing to do,' eh?" She stood up again. "Let me tell you a little story about somepony who spent way too much of his life doing 'the right thing.'"

"Will this story be conveyed in a musical number?" Trixie interrupted, much to Ranma's confusion.

"No, I don't really have a head for lyrics. And these guys are TERRIBLE at choreography," Morning Star scoffed, gesturing to her fellow bandits. They all looked embarrassed, their heads sinking and their ears pinning back. Which just made Ranma more confused.

"Anyway, like I said, these greaves came from my father. He was a skilled monster hunter living on the edge of the badlands. Powerful. Capable. Humble. Kind. Just. Everything a hero should be." She sighed, slumping and staring up at the cavern ceiling. "He worked at the behest of the border settlements, driving off threats and occasionally hunting down and destroying nests when necessary. He wasn't famous. There are no statues of him or pretty windows in Canterlot celebrating his victories. He wasn't rich, either. He lived in a small shack in the middle of nowhere, charging the ponies whose lives he saved just enough to buy what he needed but couldn't grow or make himself."

"He sounds like a swell guy," Ranma murmured. "So what went wrong with you?"

Morning Star shot him an annoyed look. "Eventually Father did manage to find a mate and sire me. Mother was... nice, I suppose, but not quite as selfless and spartan as Father. She disliked the life she had taken up. Poor. Dangerous. Isolated. Unappreciated. She wanted Father to use his skills and power to do something more lucrative and slightly less deadly, like bounty hunting or soldiering. But Father had moral objections to those jobs, apparently. Mother was unhappy, but she stayed with him. She still loved Father, despite her difficult life, and it was 'the right thing to do,' after all."

She lowered her head, glowering at Ranma. "Guess what happened to Mother."

"She died, right?" Ranma asked without missing a beat. "I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but you were obviously leading up to that."

"Definitely," Trixie agreed. "It would be a terrible anti-climax if she didn't, frankly. You already eliminated all the less serious tragic outcomes from the narrative. It's just a matter of how and why, at this point."

"Yes. She died," Morning Star said, her ears flipping down and her eyes shifting away. "She was killed while out of the house one day, by some monster Father had annoyed. I don't know much more than that; I was still very young, and all I remember was that Father came home from looking for her in a horrible, sorrowful rage. He ranted and cried, prepared his weapons, and then ordered me to stay home. Then he left."

"Twenty bits says he died too," Trixie interrupted, glancing down at Ranma.

"No way I'm taking that bet," Ranma snorted. "Also, you have all my money, remember?"

"AHEM!" Morning Star cleared her throat loudly, glaring at the two intruders. They fell silent, waiting patiently for her to conclude her tale. "You are correct. Father died too. I eventually went out to search for him only to find him in the middle of a devastated battlefield, completely torn to shreds. There was barely enough of him left to bury, and most of that was stuffed inside of his greaves." She banged one of her forelegs against the other. "Father died a painful death. Heartbroken. Alone. Poor. Miserable. And forgotten. Aside from me, nopony else even knew he died until they eventually came to our home looking for help, only to find a pair of graves out in front. They didn't grieve for him or try to find out what happened or help me, a newly orphaned filly. They left to find someone else to help. Because all my parents' years of doing 'the right thing' was worth nothing to anypony else in the end," she scowled.

"So... that's it? That's why you do this?" Ranma asked, furrowing his brow. "Look, Star, I'm really sorry about your parents, and I get that you had a bad childhood, but-"

"Make no mistake, Havoc," Morning Star interrupted, "I'm not telling you this to explain why I live the way I do, much less to get you to feel sorry for me. Father was stubborn, dim-witted, and unlucky; I know it doesn't always go like that. Some heroes DO get the fame, and the riches, and the stained-glass windows in some fancy royal hall. Good for them."

She snorted, and then hopped down off the platform she was standing on. She landed heavily, and the floorboards shook slightly from the impact of her greaves.

"I don't worry about right and wrong. I'm not like my father," Morning Star continued. "But you? You ARE."

One of the bandits leaned over to whisper to another. "He reminds her of her dad? Yeesh! No wonder she wants him so badly."

A horseshoe promptly crashed through the raider's barricade, and he screamed before he was slammed into a wall. The bandit next to him yelped and jumped back as the chain reversed momentum, pulling the projectile back into place.

The horseshoe clamped back onto Star's armor, and she coughed self-consciously before she spoke again. "As I was saying..." She pointed a hoof at Ranma, who almost jumped into a dodge by sheer reflex. "Here you are, fighting for what's right. Doing good where nopony asked you to. Vanquishing evil with hardly a thought for your own safety!" She started circling the martial artist while staring at him with a pitying expression. "And for what? What has it gotten you? Money? Power? Friends? Mares? Fame?"

She paused. "Well it's gotten you fame, certainly. But I doubt you wanted the kind of fame that comes with a two hundred thousand bit payout for your murderer."

"I was framed! That bounty is all fake!" Ranma groused.

"PARTIALLY fake," Trixie interjected.

"Not helping, Trix!" he snapped back.

"I believe you, Havoc," Star said, nodding at Ranma.

The martial artist blinked repeatedly, confused. "You... You do?"

"Of course I do. Why would you lie to me, a shameless thief and raider, about whether or not you're a criminal? There's no reason for me to care if you're innocent." Morning Star stopped walking around Ranma, and her gaze hardened. "But you know who SHOULD care? The ponies in the town. The bounty hunters. The guards. The royal alicorns trusted by their millions of servants to uphold justice and order in the kingdom that pays them tithe and deference. And how have THEY treated you, Havoc?"

"Not great," Ranma admitted. "I mean, there've been some bright spots, but in general? One star. Would not get flung across time and space to travel this kingdom again."

Morning Star started approaching him. "Exactly. You work. You fight. You bleed. You suffer. And your reward is to be the single most hated pony in all of Equestria. Even Father was luckier, brutal demise notwithstanding; he was completely ignored by those who could reward and help him, but never persecuted. Hay, I exploit and hurt ponies for a living, and they haven't even sent a full platoon after me yet!"

She raised an armored hoof and gently placed it against Ranma's shoulder. He flinched at the contact, feeling the hairs on his back standing up; a sure sign, as if any more were needed, that the greaves were absolutely seething with magic.

"If that's the case, then why bother? Why fight for what's good and right if 'good' and 'right' turns around and plants a spear in your flank at the first opportunity? Join me! Fight for fun and profit! The fat layabouts in Canterlot can't do anything about it that they're not doing to you already!" Her expression again shifted to a smoldering grin. "And I promise, working for me has some VERY pleasurable benefits..."

Ranma swatted her armored hoof away. "No."

Morning Star recoiled, looking offended. "Why not?"

"Same answer as before. Because cleaning up you jerks and closing down this operation is the right thing to do." Ranma's eyes narrowed. "And yeah, it probably won't make me popular or rich or even get Princess Loony to call off the bounty on my head, which sucks, but I'm going to do it anyway. Because it's the right thing to do."

Morning Star backed away, glaring petulantly at the martial artist. "That's ridiculous! What's the point of doing good if you're constantly punished for it? Why be a hero when everypony hates you anyway?!"

"Because I am a hero. I protect the weak and take down the bad guys that hurt them," Ranma said, as if it should have been obvious. "That's just how it is, and everyone else's opinion doesn't really matter much."

The bandit's expression turned exasperated. "Are you being serious?"

"Don't get me wrong; it'd be great if more people actually appreciated what I did, and I hate having my reputation ruined by misunderstandings and random explosions," Ranma admitted with a shrug, "but at the end of the day the only person who has to feel good about what I've done is me. And I have no regrets."

"Not even about all the buildings you accidentally destroyed?" Trixie asked.

"And I only have a few regrets," Ranma corrected, "but my answer is the same. We're not joining your gang. We're not leaving you alone. We're going to stop you, here and now! Right, Trix?"

"Trixie is still thinking it over."

Ranma crashed onto his face, causing Morning Star to wince.

"What?! What do you mean you're thinking it over?!" the martial artist demanded, bouncing upright again.

"Morning Star made a very persuasive case," Trixie admitted, rubbing a hoof against her chin, "Trixie actually does care if she risks life and limb constantly without benefitting. Trixie cares a lot. All this good karma hasn't been very good to Trixie's quality of life recently."

"Trixie!" Ranma shouted, using her real name for the first time in weeks. "We're not joining the gang! Besides, you're getting money out of this fight, remember?"

"Oh, fine," the magician grumbled, rolling her eyes. "Halfway into an explosive assault on a thieves den is probably a poor time to start questioning Trixie's moral grounding anyway." She briefly pushed her hat back far enough to expose her horn. "Morning Star, we refuse your offer and instead propose the following: take off those fancy combat socks and order your stallions to give up! If you do, Havoc won't have to mess up your face before you get to prison!"

Morning Star leapt backward, gaining some distance between her and Ranma. The impact of her greaves shook the floor when she landed, rattling the floorboards and kicking up a shallow wave of dust.

"You're making a grave mistake," the bandit queen warned Ranma, standing up straight. "Don't think for a second that just because I'd rather be rutting than fighting that I'll go easy on you. If you start this, then I'll end it."

"You're not the first overpowered villainess to threaten him for nookie," Trixie scoffed. "No holding back this time, Havoc! Take her out!"

The opening salvo came before Trixie even finished speaking. A horseshoe cut through the air at double the speed as before, spinning on the end of the chain. Tables in its path were ripped apart like so much paper, and even after Ranma dodged aside he felt buffeted by the air pressure alone.

Morning Star pulled her leg to the side, and the chain swept across the room in a wide arc. Ranma rolled underneath it, then jumped upright into a gallop.

"Neat boots!" he taunted, hopping into a flying kick.

Star met his hoof with her own, blocking the attack against the thick, enchanted metal of her greaves. Ranma bounced off, landing behind her, and then had to dodge away before the bandit queen bucked him.

His evasions were successful, but Ranma was honestly shocked that he hadn't landed a hit; he could move faster than most ponies could even track. This mare was actually quick enough to follow and react effectively to his techniques, AND while wearing something like twice her own weight in metal.

Morning Star bucked at him again, and Ranma had to duck before a horseshoe rammed into his face. While chains rattled loudly over his head, he bolted forward while his opponent had her leg extended. Ranma kicked the bandit in her side, and then hopped away just before her projectile returned and snapped into place.

"Is this all the infamous Havoc has to offer?" Morning Star taunted, launching another horseshoe at the martial artist. She hadn't even staggered slightly from the kick to her ribs. "Surely you didn't amass a 200,000 bit bounty just for being hard to hit!"

A vein popped up on Trixie's head while Ranma flipped out of the way of the horseshoe-flails. "Hey! What did Trixie say about holding back?! Stop playing around, Havoc!"

"I'm not!" the stallion shouted back while twisting around the deadly chains. "I mean... well, a little, maybe, but that's not the problem! She shouldn't have been able to shrug off the hit THAT easily!"

Morning Star pulled her horseshoes back, and each of them clamped into place with a metallic crash. "These greaves are more than just unconventional flails. Their enchantments improve my speed and strength, too! They even make my lustrous, flawless coat as tough as stone!"

"Meh. A bit dull, actually. Probably from the bad air down here. Six out of ten," Trixie retorted.

Star flashed a glare at the unicorn, her eyes narrowing into slits. "Boys? I don't think we need a guest audience for this showdown. Show the lady the door, would you? And then show her a six foot hole somewhere out front." She kicked out a leg again, throwing another horseshoe flail Ranma's way.

The stallions whirled about, raising their crossbows to aim at the other intruder. Trixie blinked in surprise, holding an expression of shock while a half-dozen bolts were launched toward her.

The bolts slashed straight through her, sailing into the main tunnel leading up to the mining cavern. The magic mirror vanished, exploding into glowing sparks that rapidly faded to nothing.

The bandits recoiled in surprise, and then quickly started scanning the cavern around them.

"It was a decoy?"

"Where'd she go? She was really there when we turned on the light, wasn't she? When did she move?"

"I dunno, I was watching Havoc!"

"Find her!"

The cavern was, unfortunately, quite large and cluttered. Stalactites, furniture, and stacks of containers provided ample hiding places and spots to cover from projectiles. There were also several tunnels that branched off from the cavern, and even spaces under the floorboard deck easily large enough to hide a mare.

It really didn't help that there was a furious melee going on in the middle of the room, either; Morning Star's horseshoes ripped long furrows in the flooring, kicking up clouds of dust and making a distracting amount of noise. The attacks seemed to be ineffective, too; Ranma stayed at long range, giving him ample time to dodge each attack and relocate.

One of the bandits stumbled when the martial artist leapt on top of him, balancing gingerly atop the raider's back.

"Hey! What do you think you-" Ranma jumped off before he could complete his complaint, and the bandit was promptly struck in the side by a horseshoe-flail. He was knocked clean across the room, screaming, and eventually crashed into a pile of grain sacks in a corner.

"Tch! Stay out of the way, you useless goons!" Morning Star snapped while her chain retracted. She kicked out another horseshoe, sweeping in an arc toward her opponent.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" the bandits froze when laughter came from another corner of the cavern. "You idiots fall for the magic mirror trick every single time!"

The rogues zeroed in on Trixie's voice, pinpointing the source among a pile of barrels partially covered in canvas. Giving the combatants in the middle of the room a wide berth, they galloped over to the supply cache and encircled it with blades drawn.

"Hey. H-Hey, quit it!" Trixie's voice emanated from beneath the tarp while the bandits advanced. "If you think the mirror is the full extent of Trixie's power, you've got another thing coming!"

A unicorn peeled the tarp away with his magic, tossing it aside. Nothing was underneath, except more barrels. The unicorn frowned, but the rest of the stallions started scrambling over the containers, searching for their target.

"Go away! Trixie isn't here!" the mare's voice barked angrily.

"From the barrel! She's in the barrel!" one bandit shouted, rearing back with his sword.

"Um... I don't think..." the unicorn wasn't so sure, but his companions weren't listening. They started hacking into one of the barrels, digging their blades into the hardened, sealed wood. Dark fluid started spilling out of the breaches and onto the floor around them, but a cursory inspection revealed it definitely wasn't blood.

"What? What is this?" asked one rogue, stepping backward and almost slipping on the wet floor.

"It's lamp oil. All those barrels are full of fuel for the lanterns and stuff," the unicorn said, his brow furrowing. "She couldn't be in one of those unless she dumped the contents out and climbed inside."

A bandit stabbed his sword into the top of another barrel, and then pried the lid off. "More oil! Open the other ones! She has to be in one of them!"

"I... I'm not sure that... guys?" the unicorn frowned while his compatriots started unsealing the rest of the containers. They were spilling oil and loose bits of wood all around them, careless of the mess they were making among the supply stores.

One of the fuel barrels was knocked over, dumping its contents into a large puddle over the floorboards. That was bad enough on its own, but what attracted the unicorn raider's attention was a small carved coin sliding through the oil spill and bumping up against his hooves.

He probably would have dismissed it as a loose bit, but a second later Trixie's voice came from it. "Quit it, you idiots! Leave Trixie alone!"

Then a torch attached to the cavern wall lifted itself from its mounting, wrapped in a shroud of pink magic. The raider's eyes shrunk to pinpricks.

"Rrrrgh! Stop jumping around like a flea, you coward!"

Morning Star snarled in a rage while her flail retracted itself, the chains whipping and rattling around in the air. The cavern - which she often considered the "den" of her subterranean home - was now rife with splintered wood, shattered stone, and dented hunks of metal. Her opponent remained untouched; the closest she had gotten to hitting the stallion was when she had blocked his attack directly.

Then again, he also hadn't attacked her again, and it was starting to make her mad. She was sour enough at being spurned and having her home invaded, turning what was supposed to be a happy occasion full of sexy debauchery into a desperate battle to determine her immediate future. But even worse, her opponent wasn't even taking it seriously!

The horseshoe snapped back into place, and Star spun around on one hoof. Both of her hind legs lashed out, and those flails crossed half the length of the cavern in an eye blink.

"WHOA!" Ranma twisted into another dodge, and the enchanted iron passed closely enough to brush by his fur. The air pressure struck him in mid-air - albeit with much less force than the metal would have - and the martial artist stumbled awkwardly on his landing.

The horseshoes snapped back, and Morning Star spun around again. "Are you really the same pony feared by Canterlot's finest soldiers? How did you overcome so many of them? By running away until they got tired of chasing you?!"

"That... isn't completely wrong, actually," Ranma admitted, scuffing the floor with his hoof. "I figure you can't keep this up forever. You're definitely not used to long fights. Then it'll be easy to hand you over to the townsfolk."

"Are you stupid? You DO remember that your little marefriend is being cut apart right now, right?" Morning Star huffed.

"Yeah, well... the thing about that is..."

The explosion from the far corner of the cavern briefly blinded both combatants, and Morning Star stumbled from the sudden noise. Ranma, who wasn't nearly as surprised by the sudden inferno blooming nearby, immediately closed the distance and tried to sweep Star's leg.

His hoof struck metal without budging her leg, and the martial artist had to leap back when Morning Star swiped at his jaw. Whether a from a magical effect or sheer brawn, the bandit queen was almost as tough as her armor. Ranma clicked his tongue and hopped out of range again.

"What the hay was that?!" Morning Star howled, whipping around toward the explosion. She was horrified to see a tower of fire on the edge of the room where the fuel barrels had been stashed. Multiple bandits were galloping around in a panic with their tails or manes on fire, while some lay on the floor nearby, coughing and nursing burns.

"Yeah, that's what happens when you mess with Trix," Ranma chuckled. "So much for your boys cutting her apart. Now-"

"What are you chuckling about, you maniac?! There's a fire! That crazy unicorn is going to kill us all!" Star shouted. "Even if it doesn't spread and burn up everything, the smoke alone will choke everypony to death in here!"

"Oh. Uh... I guess that's true, actually," Ranma admitted, furrowing his brow. "Well, if you give up, then me and Trix will help drag your bandit buddies to safety before that happens. How about that?"

"Shut up, you psychotic cretin!" Morning Star clenched her teeth, and then looked up at the cavern ceiling. "I'm not giving up Metalleus that easily!"

She kicked high, and a horseshoe flew up into the rock ceiling above the blaze. The enchanted iron weight struck rock, crushing the outer layer to gravel and sending a rain of stone down into the flames.

Ranma wasn't sure what that was supposed to accomplish, but as as soon as the chain retracted, Morning Star did it again. And then again. And again. The enchanted flails crashed into the ceiling with an accelerating rhythm, and with each blow more and more stone cracked and tumbled free onto the burning oil, smothering it.

"Yowch!" one fist-sized piece of stone dropped onto one of the wounded bandits, and he yelped in pain from the impact. A much bigger boulder landed right next to him, burying a stretch of fire but coming quite close to crushing him flat.

"Hey! Watch it! You're going to bury your own guys!" Ranma complained.

"Oh, what do you care?" Star growled, kicking out another leg and smashing loose another pile of rock.

"Uhm, well, we care, though," offered a scorched rogue scrambling away from the massive downpour.

"Then get out of the way, idiots! I'm not giving up my home and treasure for you losers!" the bandit queen snarled. She whipped around and bucked up toward the ceiling, launching both rear flails into the air. They punched through the cracked rock and ore, drilling deep into the stone, and then ripped free back toward their user.

Ranma's eyes widened when he saw pony-sized boulders break free of the cavern ceiling, and in an instant he was sprinting across the floor and leaping into the air. He struck the side of one rock, cracking it in half, and then bounced off to slam into another and shove it off into the wall. The martial artist became a gray blur, zig-zagging between the pieces of deadly rubble quicker than the eye could see.

Not that the bandits wasted time watching. The ones who were already on their hooves scrambled for the exit tunnel, wailing in terror. Those who remained and weren't totally unconscious scrambled away from the raining shrapnel as best they could, with some of them simply curling up into a ball and covering their heads to protect them.

Ranma kicked off the last stone to tumble from the breach in the ceiling, breaking it apart and knocking it away into the center of the room. He flipped backward, and then landed lightly atop the pile of stone rubble that had buried the oil spill.

Morning Star had done a good job, putting aside the utter lack of concern for her underlings. The fire had been completely covered, with nothing but a few thin smoke trails leaking from the smoldering rocks. A fair bit of smoke had collected in the top of the cavern, but the room was large and surprisingly well-ventilated; Ranma didn't even feel the urge to cough as he checked around the debris pile for casualties.

"Is everyone okay? Well, not okay, I guess, since most of you were on fire a minute ago, but like, alive?" the martial artist asked.

Several groans came from the floor around him, which he considered a good thing.

An earth pony limped out from behind a shattered barricade, his eyes wide and disbelieving. His fur was badly burned on one flank, and sharp bits of stone had cut into his legs. He wobbled slightly when he stopped below Ranma, but carefully shifted his stance so that he wouldn't fall over.

"You... saved us? Why would you...?" he trailed off, his lip trembling.

"It was the right thing to do, obviously. A martial artist's duty is to protect the weak after all," the pigtailed stallion said with a smirk. He spent a moment buffing a hoof against his chest. "Besides, you're supposed to turn in bounties alive, right? Gotta do this by the book if we want to help the towns you ruined!"

He was still smiling down at the bandit when the horseshoe smashed into him.

Ranma's vision exploded into stars as he sailed through the air, and then spun wildly when he slammed into a stone wall. His teeth rattled in his head from the impact, and he felt the wall crack behind him before he slumped onto the floor with a pained gasp.

However bad he was expecting a direct hit from Star's greaves to be, the reality was far worse. Ranma staggered upright and almost fell over from the sheer pain in one of his legs. Was it fractured? He couldn't tell.

Another horseshoe shot toward him, and Ranma darted out of the way, pushing through the waves of agony. The previous hit had been brutal, but not especially worse than being flung a mile into the air in a tornado or explosion and slammed into the ground. He'd certainly had enough experience fighting wounded, at least.

This time the iron bludgeon bounced and spun, and Morning Star wrenched her leg to the side. Rather than swiping the horseshoe at him, the chain snaked around his foreleg, wrapping tight when the iron arch pulled into place around his knee.

Morning Star twitched her leg again, and Ranma was yanked into the air. She flung him at a support beam, and the martial artist managed to strike it with a kick before impact, deflecting away. He couldn't reorient himself in time avoid a bad landing, however, and he slammed into the floor on his side.

When Ranma scrambled upright and started kicking his leg to get the chain off, Star quirked an eyebrow. "Still moving? My, my, you ARE a tough one."

She snapped her leg back, and the chain started retracting itself rapidly. Ranma was again yanked off of his hooves and into the air, flying straight toward the bandit queen. "If you won't taste my lips, then taste my greaves instead! IRON CRASH!!"

Morning Star spun on one leg, rotating while her opponent was reeled in to leg's reach. She bucked with both legs, driving the armored hooves straight toward his head.

A tremendous clash rang through the cavern. Every one of the other bandits winced, their ears pinning against their heads from the sound. Ranma flew through the air again, this time in a high arc away from the armored mare.

The stallion backflipped, and then landed on his hooves several meters away from his foe. Trickles of blood ran down the side of his head and leg, but if anything he looked smug while he stared at the head bandit.

Morning Star fell back onto all fours as well. She looked back at Ranma and frowned. "That wasn't a clean hit. What did you...?" She glanced at her loose flail; the one that had been wrapped around the stallion's leg. It was lying on the floor around her, and the horseshoe now had a deep dent in the front.

"I blocked your kick with the horseshoe you were using to snare me! Sorry, it's going to take a lot more than that to take me down!" Ranma laughed. Then his legs quivered in pain. One of them buckled, spilling the laughing martial artist onto his side.

"Incredible. Your endurance is nothing short of super-equine," Morning Star admitted. She snapped the loose horseshoe back into place. "But this is over. Even if you didn't take full damage from that last hit, you can barely move. I could finish you in an instant." A grin crossed her face. "Do you want to convince me not to?"

Ranma grimaced. The other bandits started limping out of their hiding spots.

"Whoa, hold on, Boss! The guy did save some of us!"

"Yeah! He's had enough! Let's just tie him up and hand him over to the Royal Guard or something!"

Morning Star raised an eyebrow at the martial artist. "I could go for tying you up. And then maybe we can put that endurance of yours to... better use."

"Pass," Ranma said immediately, his muzzle scrunching up.

Star's expression promptly soured again. "You may want to be more agreeable, Havoc. I don't know why you're so frigid, but a pony in your position can't be choosy."

"It's not happening, lady. Give it up already. Yeesh." Ranma rolled his eyes, which looked slightly ridiculous while he was on the ground and bleeding.

"Well, then... it would seem I'm out of reasons to keep you alive," Star said darkly, walking toward the pigtailed pony.

She raised her armored leg to crush the stallion, and her lackeys suddenly lurched forward. "Wait! Whoa! What about saving us?" shouted one of them.

"Oh, get over it!" Morning Star snarled. "These idiots were the reason you were almost killed to begin with! Are you really going to throw a fit because one of them was too squeamish to go through with it?!"

"He didn't just 'not go through with it,' he stopped the rocks from crushing us!" one of the rogues protested.

"Yeah! It wasn't even his fault! You were the one who broke apart the ceiling!"

Morning Star growled and stamped her hoof on the ground, narrowly missing Ranma's face. "I did that to save ALL of us, morons! And the mine! I already explained this! Besides, that was all the fault of that... that..." she trailed off, her brow furrowing. "Wait... what happened to the unicorn?"

"Trixie has a name, you know! Does Trixie not bring it up often enough? Because Trixie can do it more!"

Several of the bandits looked up from the confrontation in front of them, and their fur visibly paled. Considering that they had already suffered a violent invasion, an oil fire, and a minor cave-in, Morning Star felt her nerves rattle slightly to imagine just what the obnoxious blue magician was doing now.

She turned her head, and her heart leapt into her throat. "You crazy blue lunatic! You're going to kill us all!!" she shrieked.

Trixie was standing on the platform at the end of the cavern with the large brass braziers, where Morning Star had initially made her entrance. On her back, at her feet, and floating in the air in front of the magician were explosives. Not rocket fireworks or mere fuel, either; dynamite sticks, round ball bombs, and black powder blasting charges packed into small barrels were scattered all around her. One such charge floated above the unicorn's head within a haze of pink. The charge's fuse hovered close to the flames of the nearby brazier, close enough that it slowly but visibly darkened from the heat.

"Trixie couldn't help but notice all the hazardous materials you have stockpiled around here! Flammable oils, mining explosives, loose weapons... Somepony could cause some serious damage if they started rooting through your stuff!" The unicorn grinned, and her horn pulsed dangerously.

"Don't you DARE!" Morning Star seethed. Then she turned back around to glare at her terrified underlings. "What are you worthless colts gawking at?! You found her! There's no way that's an illusion! GET HER!!"

The rogues - still beaten, scorched, and bruised - paused to look at each other. None of them had their weapons handy, and they were hardly in any shape to rush the platform. A few of the stallions that were healthy enough to run broke for the exit tunnel instead, fleeing the scene while wailing in terror.

"You... impotent... pitiful... cowardly... RRRRRGH!" Star's fur bristled, and she whirled back around. "Fine! Eat steel, brat!"

The moment Morning Star kicked her leg out, Ranma rammed into her side, taking the bandit queen by surprise. Star hit the ground with the martial artist on top of her, and her flail brushed by Trixie's head closely enough to knock off her hat.

Trixie yelped and recoiled, and the levitation magic around the blasting charge wavered. The explosive dropped onto the edge of the brazier, dipped its fuse into the fire, and then bounced off onto the platform. The barrel-shaped bomb hit the ground and then rolled along its side, and the burning tip of the fuse touched those of several dynamite sticks scattered at Trixie's hooves.

"YEEP! No! Wait! Trixie wasn't serious!" the magician screamed, backing away from the hissing explosives.

"Then why did you show up with a bunch of bombs?!" Star shrieked, swinging a foreleg at Ranma. He jumped off of her, evading the blow and landing a few feet away.

"Trixie was bluffing! What do you think Trixie is, some kind of madmare?!" the magician screamed back, kicking away the blasting charge.

"You tried to burn my gang to death in an oil fire, you psycho! How would I reach any other conclusion?!" Morning Star rolled upright, and then turned to face Ranma. "And YOU! You weren't even able to move a second ago! What does it take to stop you?!"

"Dunno. Nobody's managed it yet," Ranma replied with a weary smirk.

The blasting charge detonated in the middle of the cavern, nearly deafening Ranma and Morning Star from the noise. Trixie mostly ignored the confrontation, flinging away the other explosives with desperate kicks or bursts of magic. Most of the bombs weren't lit, but in her panic she didn't spend the time to check each fuse before tossing it away to a safe distance.

"You idiots are going to blow yourselves up and bury the entire mine! And for what? Those worthless dirt farmers and their decrepit, half-abandoned slum?" Morning Star snarled at Ranma.

"WHAT?" the stallion shouted back. "SORRY, MY EARS ARE STILL RINGING! WHAT ARE YOU-" He flinched when two more explosions rattled the cavern, blasting wood and stone shrapnel into the air. "LOOK, IF YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO SEDUCE ME, I'M NOT INTERESTED!"

"RAAAAAAUGH I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"

With an enraged howl, Morning Star charged the martial artist directly. She reared back a foreleg to bludgeon him, and Ranma spun on one hoof and kicked out his back legs, imitating her own earlier technique. Morning Star caught both hooves in her face and staggered, barely catching herself from falling down.

Another explosion buffeted the two ponies, but Ranma didn't slow down. A spin-kick smacked Star's head to the side, and a sweep knocked her leg aside, forcing her onto the floor. She surged upright again, only for a two-legged buck to strike her chest with enough force to launch her into the air.

"Gah! Quit it!" she shouted, landing heavily on all fours. The floorboards shattered under her greaves, splintering and folding upwards around the enchanted horseshoes. "That one really hurt! What the hay got into you?! You weren't fighting like this before!"

"STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Ranma announced with a grimace. "ARE YOU GIVING UP? RAISE YOUR LEGS IN THE AIR FOR YES, SHOOT A HORSESHOE AT ME FOR NO!"

He darted to the side, barely avoiding the iron flail before it whipped past. "OKAY, THAT'S A NO, THEN! I THOUGHT SO!"

Ranma leapt to the attack, reaching the bandit queen just as her flail did, and with similar force. Hooves struck Star's jaw, neck, and then her side in a flurry of blows that sent the armored mare spinning across the ground. She slammed a hoof against a crate to steady herself, and then launched another horseshoe at her opponent.

Atop Star's platform, Trixie wiped a leg across her forehead and sighed in relief. The explosions had stopped, and in the end she had been unharmed. The same couldn't be said of the bandit den. Scorched holes littered the flooring of the cavern, revealing jagged rock and piles of waste gravel below, while great sheets of smoke gathered in the jagged ceiling. Numerous crates and barrels, thankfully full of supplies other than fuel, lay in ruined heaps next to shattered card tables and wrecked barricades. Many unlit bombs and dynamite sticks were scattered around the room now as well, as Trixie hadn't been very careful throwing them about.

Feeling her immediate situation was stable, the unicorn regarded the fight. Morning Star was in an absolute frenzy, screaming bloody murder while firing the Heartbreaker Greaves again and again. Either her anger or the last few blows to the head seemed to be affecting her aim, though, and the flails kept shooting off-target and carving splintered trenches into the floor.

That was lucky for Ranma, who was barely dodging at half the speed of before. The stallion seemed as casually nimble as ever at a glance, but Trixie could tell that his reflexes were hesitant and he was trying not to put pressure on one of his forelegs.

Could Ranma lose? The question seemed preposterous. Sure, Morning Star had a powerful magic weapon and seemed quite capable in a fight. But Ranma Saotome was a force of nature. An unstoppable warrior from beyond their world, forced into the form of a mere pony by the foolish hubris of malevolent sorcerers. He couldn't lose.

Then again, he asked Trixie along for a reason, and it wasn't to watch him do all the work, she mused to herself, levitating her hat back onto her head.

"Stand still, you blasted mule!" Morning Star snarled, lashing out with her armored hooves at close range.

Ranma galloped in a circle around the bandit queen, and enchanted iron crushed crates and barrels around him into splinters. Chains rattled through the air, tugging the flails back in preparation for the next barrage. In two quick breaths the Heartbreaker Greaves attacked again, blowing past Ranma's head like a cannonball.

A barrel was ripped in two, and a cloud of flour burst into the air all around the martial artist. The horseshoe flail flew back to Morning Star, slamming into place over her hoof, but she hesitated to attack again. The flour was still spreading like a smoke bomb, obscuring that section of the room in a dusty white cloud.

She probably should have attacked anyway, considering her luck so far when aiming properly, but in that moment the opportunity passed. Something burst from the cloud and flew toward her at high speed, and her reflexes took control.

Her armored hooves smashed into the small treasure chest, shattering the reinforced wooden container into little pieces. She was instantly pelted by a spray of golden bits from within the chest, and she flinched away as coins pelted her face. The bits did no harm, of course, but that split second was all the time Ranma needed to close the distance between them.

A flurry of hooves struck once again Star's cheek, neck, chest, and side in rapid sequence, and the bandit queen was sent stumbling across the floor. Ranma jumped after her to finish the combo, but then found himself staring at the bottom of a rapidly approaching horseshoe. His kick met Star's, and the stallion was sent arcing back to where he came from.

"Geez! Magic or not, you sure can take a beating!" Ranma complained as he landed.

"I get that a lot. Mostly at night," Morning Star quipped, turning to face her opponent. "You can buy time with your stupid little tricks and evasions but you won't change the outcome, Havoc. I can tell you're struggling by now. You're going to lose. I'm going to beat you to a bloody pulp, and then I'm going to feed your special somepony to the valley's buzzards."

Ranma tensed. "You're going to feed who to the buzzards? You mean Trix? We're not a couple!"

This seemed to surprise the bandit queen. "You're not? Then why won't you join me? Or at least stay the night for a little-"

"Because I don't like you!" Ranma snapped. "You're a bad pony! Why is this so hard for evil mares to understand?"

"I'm not really seeing a problem here."

"What the hell is wrong with you?! We're still fighting!"

"I'm trying to meet you half-way on this," Morning Star huffed. "This would be so much easier if you would just... what's that noise?"

A crackling hiss reached Star's ears and her sense for danger - carefully honed from years of violence, back-stabbing, and the occasional stallion that got too pushy - went on high alert. Her head snapped around, and her pupils shrank when she spotted a single stick of dynamite rolling toward her with its fuse lit.

Without further hesitation she leapt toward the explosive, planting a leg on the stick and then biting onto the fuse. She ripped it out of the dynamite and quickly spit it out, and then continued spitting and coughing from burning her tongue on the flame.

"Huh... Well, that's one way to disable a bomb, Trixie supposes." Trixie was still standing on the raised platform next to the brazier, another (much smaller) collection of explosives at her hooves.

Morning Star whirled on the magician. "WHAT THE HAY?! YOU SAID YOU WERE BLUFFING ABOUT THE BOMBS, YOU MADMARE!!"

"Yes, well... Trixie was, but that didn't work on you. Trixie can't think of any better ideas off-hoof, so here we are." A round, black bomb the size of a baseball floated next to Trixie on a misty bed of pink. It hovered over to the brazier, dipped its fuse into the flames, and then levitated higher. "Here! Catch!"

Morning Star launched a horseshoe instead, and Trixie flinched badly as a loud impact and bright blue flash came from in front of her. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she only dared to peek again when she heard the magic flail snap back into place on the Heartbreaker Greaves.

Ranma stood in front of her on the platform, a thin aura of blue light seeming to cling to his coat. His expression was carefully neutral, posed with one foreleg - trembling slightly, probably from rather severe pain - raised to parry.

Morning Star gaped, slack-jawed. "You... What did... How..." Then she shook her head. "How are you still standing?! This is impossible!" She clenched her teeth and narrowed her eyes. "Every time I target that mare, you suddenly find your second wind! And you seriously expect me to believe she isn't your lover?"

"That WOULD be your most immediate concern, wouldn't it? Get your mind out of the gutter," Trixie sneered, quickly recovering from her earlier shock. "It may not make any sense to a pony like you, but-"

"Trix?" Ranma interrupted. "The bomb?"

Trixie's eyes widened, and then snapped up at the explosive still hovering overhead. "Oh! Right! Good call."

With a mere thought, Trixie lobbed the bomb in a lazy arc at Morning Star.

Morning Star had to make an instant decision whether to try to outrun the explosion or hit the bomb out of the air. Her instincts pushed her to the attack, and with a wordless shout she launched a horseshoe to intercept the bomb.

It was the wrong decision.

The bomb exploded, blasting the horseshoe back and destroying the chain attached to it. Star barely managed to squeak in surprise before her own flail slammed into her head and threw her across the floor. The magical runes carved into her greaves flashed, suddenly overloaded by the tremendous force, and her vision exploded into stars while she tumbled across the floor. Eventually she slammed into a stalagmite, yelping in pain once again.

The loose horseshoe skipped across the flooring after her, still smoldering, and eventually skidded to a halt nearby.

"Huh... Trixie misjudged the timing a bit, there. These charges must be old; the fuses aren't as reliable as with Trixie's fireworks."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? DAMN IT, I WAS TOO CLOSE TO THE EXPLOSION AGAIN! MY EARS HURT!"

"Oh, hush," Trixie sighed, hopping down from the brazier platform.

Trixie walked up to Morning Star, silently noting the slight, twitchy shifts in the bandit queen's body. Star was still conscious, and obviously struggling against what had to be a serious concussion. That she had only suffered that much damage while protected by anything less than a proper magical force field was incredible; Star possessed inequine fortitude completely aside from the enchantments built into her family heirloom.

"Such a waste of good magic," the magician mumbled as her horn glowed pink. A similarly colored glow seeped around the Heartbreaker Greaves, slowly surrounding the armored leg sleeves and filling the thin, precisely inscribed runes.

Trixie concentrated for a few seconds, and a series of sharp clicks came from the greaves. Trixie's magic pulled the armor off piece by piece, grunting at the enormous amount of energy it took to lift each one.

"These things are ridiculous! There's no way Trixie can even sell them! What kind of monstrous pony could use weapons this heavy?" she said with a grimace. "Besides Havoc, I mean. Assuming they didn't just explode when he put them on. Trixie isn't keen on experimenting on him with magic items."

Morning Star slowly craned her head up to stare at the unicorn. Her vision was still fuzzy, and her muscles were mostly unresponsive, but she still forced her clouded mind to form a sentence.

"You self-righteous... clueless... meddlesome BRATS," she snarled through her teeth. "Even if you win here... you're living on borrowed time. Ponies that go looking for trouble... tend to find it. Rebel... hero... scapegoat... soon enough you all end up in an unmarked grave in the middle of nowhere."

"Trixie isn't inclined to take advice on healthy living from a wanted criminal living in a cave and barely clinging to consciousness," the unicorn retorted. "Now go to sleep, Miss Star. It's a fairly long trip back into town, and you'll want to be well-rested for your trial before you get dumped into a dungeon for the rest of your life."

With an enraged howl, Morning Star surged upright, her body quaking from the sudden effort. She staggered forward within arm's length of the other mare, and then swung her hoof.

She wasn't sure if Ranma seeming to materialize in front of her was because of her hazy perception, or if she was right about her theory that the pigtailed stallion was somehow energized every time his companion was endangered. Either way, her attack was swatted aside with contemptuous ease.

The last thing she saw that day was Ranma's hoof streaking toward her face.

"Next stop, downtown Buckton! This is the final stop until Fillydelphia! Make sure you have all your belongings before exiting the train, please!"

Twilight's eyes snapped open, and she nodded sharply. Then she stood up from her seat. "This is our stop, everypony. Let's get moving!"

"Shucks, we almost made it all the way to Filly! Havoc sure makes good time!" Applejack chuckled before she bit onto her saddlebags and threw them over her back.

Twilight's eye twitched while she levitated her own pack into place. "Yeah... I still think we should avoid calling him that, though. His name is Ranma Saotome."

"Sure, but Havoc is a way better name," Rainbow said, bolting out the train exit. She immediately took to the air, hovering just outside the door. "Even if he really used to be some kind of weird alien monkey from another planet, he's a pony now, right? He should have a pony name!"

"A pony name that makes him sound like a villain?" Spike mumbled, exiting the train behind Applejack.

"It ain't warm n' fuzzy, Ah s'pose, but y'all gotta admit it suits him," Applejack said with a snort. "He showed up in Ponyville fer somethin' like an hour, an' we were down two buildin's and some two hundred apple trees 'fore he left."

Twilight groaned while she stepped out onto the train platform behind the others. "Okay, yes. But can we try to look at this from his perspective? Maybe he is an alien transformed into a pony forever, and maybe he is leaving fear and devastation in his wake. But he obviously doesn't like either of those eventualities! We don't need to constantly remind him by using his obsolete cover identity!"

"Oh, fine," Rainbow said reluctantly. "But what if he says it's okay? Then I can call him that, right?"

"I really feel like it would be best not to even mention it, but sure. Whatever." Twilight closed her eyes. "Now give me a moment to get a heading and work out some sense of distance. It's possible he's somewhere in this town, but chances are we still have a long trek ahead of us."

The small group stepped off the platform and halted, and a steam whistle blasted from the train. Other ponies trotted past them, some disembarking from the vehicle while others loaded up.

"... Okay, his position seemed fixed to the West, same as when the train pulled in," Twilight mumbled. "Given how gradually the distance changed as we pulled up, I'm guessing we're still far away. If he's close, then-"

A terrified shriek suddenly cut her off, and the Princess squeaked in surprise and almost fell over.

"DRAGON!! IT'S A DRAGON!!"

"EVERYPONY FOR HERSELF!!"

"OH CELESTIA, WHY?!"

Before Twilight and her friends knew what was happening, they found themselves in the middle of a veritable stampede. Ponies raced past them in a terrified gallop, either fleeing deeper into town or simply bolting behind any cover they could find. Some leapt behind crates, some dove into barrels, and others shoved their way past the train conductors to shelter inside the train.

One mare happened to get bumped during her panicked retreat, and she spilled onto the ground right below Twilight with a yelp.

"Wait! Hold on! Don't panic!" Twilight reached out a hoof to the random pony, sweat starting to bead on her brow. "Everyone, just relax! He's not going to hurt anybody!"

The mare on the ground was obviously still terrified, but she hesitated and stared up at the purple Princess. "You... You know that dragon? Really?"

"Yes! Don't worry! Spike is harmless!" Twilight's wing spread to the side, wrapping around the back of an equally bewildered and embarrassed Spike. "See? He's a good friend of mine! Spike isn't going to hurt anyone!"

The mare looked over at Spike, and then her eyes shifted back to Twilight with a perfectly incredulous expression.

"Uh... Twi? I don't think they're freaking out about Spike," Rainbow Dash said, her voice sounding strained.

Twilight twisted her head around to ask further questions, but her words died in her throat when a shadow from high above loomed over her. Spike sucked in a breath through his teeth. The mare on the ground screamed again and bolted to her hooves before she galloped away crying.

"Oh. Okay. Yeah. That's concerning," Twilight mumbled.

Kamikazan was hardly the biggest dragon Twilight had ever seen. In fact, between her studies and personal adventures, the serpent probably rated just above average in mass. Unimpressive for a dragon, if not still extremely intimidating to a mere pony.

But there was much more to dragons than just their size.

An aura of flame trailed the dragon's wingtips and tail, adding considerable menace to his suspiciously low-altitude flight over the city. A gentle rain of flickering embers floated to the ground below him, occasionally settling on stone or wood and smoldering dangerously as if in warning. The dragon's eyes glowed a bright white, awash with magic power, and greedily searching the settlement below.

Kamikazan barely took more than a second to pass over the visitors from Ponyville, but a single beat of his wings buffeted the ponies with air so hot it was almost suffocating. Rainbow Dash was pushed onto the ground, and Applejack had to hold onto her hat to keep it from being blasted off.

"Well, Ah guess this is one dragon attacks Ah can't blame on Sow-toh-may," Applejack said, scuffing the ground with her hoof. "Twi, do we gotta wrangle this varmint?"

Twilight was still a bit stunned at the serpent's appearance, but she came to her senses quickly. "Okay, wait... it looks like it's... searching for something. It isn't attacking anything," she noted.

"Well shucks, maybe Ah spoke too soon, then," Applejack said wryly. "That sounds like what that dragonspawn critter was doin' pokin' around Ponyville."

"I don't think..." Twilight frowned and squeezed her eyes shut. "... It's not headed in the right direction. Not exactly. And like I said, I doubt Ranma is actually here in this city. We probably shouldn't automatically try to connect every random turn of bad fortune to him."

"True. He's had enough of that recently," Rainbow Dash added, moving into a hover again. "Uh... so, like... should we do something?"

The dragon had flown quite some distance past them by then, sweeping over the town center while constantly scanning the ground. Kamikazan seemed oblivious to the ponies who ran for cover screaming, his gaze darting from building to building. He passed over the square, and then curved around the taller structure that included city hall.

Suddenly, the dragon pulled upright in the air to shift into a hover, his tail swinging under him and scraping the roof of the building directly below him. He seemed not to notice, and the edges of his mouth curled up into a grin. Then he closed his eyes, swept his wings forward to wrap around his body, and concentrated.

In a flash of fiery crimson light, the massive Dragon Prince vanished from the sky over Buckton.

"... Huh. That could be a good sign. But probably not," Twilight admitted anxiously.

"The, uhm, screaming hasn't really stopped," Spike observed. The shouts of alarm and terror were much more distant now, but still as strong and panicked as ever.

"I'll see what's up!" Rainbow shouted, vaulting higher into the air and then launching herself after the trail of flickering embers.

"Rainbow, wait! It's dangerous!" Twilight shouted in alarm. The pegasus didn't stop, or even slow down. Possibly she didn't hear, but Twilight couldn't tell if that was the case. Nor could she say it would have mattered. "Ponyfeathers! Come on, let's go before she gets somepony hurt!"

"Right behind ya, sugarcube!"

Kamikazan chuckled to himself as screams continued bombarding his ears. He was in his quasi-pony form, not much bigger than any given stallion, and all he was doing was crossing the street. Even still, every equine that laid eyes upon him quaked in fear and fled immediately, such was his terrible majesty.

And their fear was well-deserved, too.

Reaching his target - a single small-ish clay building attached to the edge of a larger complex - he touched one long, curved claw to the front door. The dagger-like talon flashed red, and then the door started to burn away to cinders; first at the point of contact, and then spreading outward in a circle.

"Knock knock," the serpent chimed with a snicker.

As soon as the hole was large enough for him to slip into, he did, leaving the streets and entering the building interior.

Above the smoldering doorway, a small, battered sign was hung up. It said "Madam Kristall's Fortune Telling, Hoof Reading & Tarot."

"Madam, you have a customer!" Kamikazan announced. The entrance led into a tiny lobby, with a second doorway obscured by strings of sparkling beads. Bizarre art pieces and arcane metalworks adorned the walls, giving the office the distinct styling of a professional magic-user.

Some sounds came from the next room, followed by creaking, feminine voice. "A customer? Now? I heard there was some sort of ruckus outside. Is everypony okay?"

"The 'ruckus' has been resolved," Kamikazan declared. "As for everypony being okay or not, that depends largely on your talents, Madam Kristall."

The beads shifted, and an elderly unicorn mare wearing wire-rimmed glasses poked her head through. She had dusty black fur, and a short, wispy mane that was brushed straight back over her head. She didn't seem especially surprised to see Kamikazan, despite his unorthodox body, but her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"... What can I help you with, Sir?" Kristall asked, stepping out past the beads. "Also, do you know what happened to my door? It didn't have a giant hole in it this morning."

"An unfortunate consequence of the ruckus, I'm afraid," Kamikazan said sadly. "As for helping me, I believe you can. I have need of a scryer to locate a certain pony."

"Hmmm... a scry job, is it?" Kristall mused, rubbing a hoof along the underside of her muzzle. "That's one of my more difficult tricks. I'll need an item that belonged to the target. I'll also need to know who this pony is and why you want to find them. I don't lend my assistance to assassins or the like. And then, of course, we'll need to discuss my fee."

Kamikazan chuckled. "I assume your life is worth more to you than the petty fee you charge for your efforts, no? So you find this pony for me, I let you live, and then we can consider the difference in value a bonus for a job well done."

Kristall frowned up at the dragon. "Are you threatening me, Sir?"

"Ah! I see we're finally on the same page! Good!" The dragon prince laughed.

Then he raised a leg and slashed one talon across the adjacent wall. Flames blossomed behind his claw, licking at the wallpaper and threatening to spread. Kristall recoiled, her eyes wide, and Kamikazan finally saw the first slivers of true fear in the pony's eyes.

"I can burn you and your home down in an eyeblink. I won't, because I prefer those who defy me suffer before they perish, but I could! So I recommend you cooperate, scryer." His eyes flashed, and the magic fire suddenly vanished. Wisps of vile-smelling smoke wafted from the divot carved into the wall, and Kamikazan's lips stretched into a malevolent grin. "Serve me well, and I will leave you and your home without further harm. Do we have a bargain?"

"So this is what you're up to, huh? Fine," the mare groused, turning around and stepping back through the bead curtain. "Follow me and have a seat. Let's get this over with."

The next room wasn't much different from the lobby in its decoration, but possessed a small table with a stereotypical crystal ball sitting on it. There was also a bookcase full of old tomes in the corner, and Kristall started scanning the book spines, squinting through her glasses.

"Whether you're paying or not, this sort of spell isn't easy. Finding one pony out of millions requires a focus," Kristall warned. "I assume you have the necessary materials?"

"I know how your craft works, scryer," Kamikazan sneered. "I can assure you, my rage for this pony will be sufficient for your spell."

"If you say so," grumbled the mare. "But I don't want you burning anything because you couldn't provide sufficient focus for the spell. That isn't my fault." She levitated the book onto the table, next to the crystal ball.

"Be silent and get to work," Kamikazan snarled. "There is much that needs to be done, and my patience is short!"

With an exasperated huff, Kristall opened her book and started using her magic to flip through the pages. "All right... Let's begin."

Kamikazan's claw suddenly lashed forward to grab the crystal ball, startling the mare. He clutched the orb within his talons, and then his hand and eyes started the glow. The fur on his back prickled and stood up, and his lips curled into an angry sneer. "The stallion's name is Saotome Ranma. Find him. Now."

Kristall looked disturbed, but after a few moments of hesitation her horn began to glow. Glittering blue light wrapped around her, and the unicorn carefully touched a hoof against the crystal ball.

She flinched immediately, and her eyes flooded with magical light.

"This... This is..." images swirled around her. Old memories, surging emotion, and tiny flickers of fate rejected and forgotten rushed around her perception. This sort of reaction to the spell was unnaturally strong, but not too dissimilar from her previous experiences. With an ease born of long experience, Kristall worked her way through the confusing deluge of information and contextless imagery, ordering certain visions and discarding the rest.

"Well? What do you see, scryer?" Kamikazan demanded. "Can you see him in your visions? The insolent worm who holds the key to my conquest?"

Kristall arched an eyebrow over her still-glowing eyes. "...... I have literally never felt a grudge this intense in over sixty years of doing these spells. And you only knew this pony for what, five minutes? If that? Are these visions accurate?"

"HE HIT ME IN THE EYE!!" Kamikazan roared, nearly knocking the mare over. His grasp on the crystal ball tightened, and a slight cracking noise came from the orb. The dragon snorted and quickly loosened his grip, regaining his composure. "Whatever. You have the spiritual imprint you need. Now FIND HIM."

"Fine. This will do." Kristall's brow creased, and she tilted her head slightly to read off of her spellbook.

The seconds marched on and turned into minutes. Kristall would mumble something softly, and then fall into intense silence. Her face underwent subtle, small shifts in reaction to what she was seeing, but ultimately didn't change much from an expression of tired resignation. Shouts and other forms of ruckus came from outside the building, but both occupants ignored them; the dragon because he was in a hurry to get this next step completed, and the mare because she was in a magical trance.

Finally, almost five minutes later, Kristall's eyes dimmed and she sighed.

"The vision is... clear. Unusually so. I don't think I've ever done a scrying this easy, threats of murder and arson notwithstanding," she admitted.

"I told you. The force of my will is without equal," Kamikazan said with a smirk.

"Oh, it's not that. Your ridiculously potent grudge was surprisingly effective, but there's something else in play, here," Kristall mused, smirking back. "Something about this pony wants to be found. I've never seen anything quite like it. It's quite possible that I could have found him with nothing but a name, although I probably wouldn't have tried that normally." She shrugged. "The pony is in Venom Valley, near an abandoned mine. It's next to an old train track that runs across the valley interior."

"Excellent. I know where Venom Valley is, assuming the maps haven't changed overmuch in the past few centuries," Kamikazan chuckled. "You've done well, scryer. I will keep my part of the bargain, and leave you in peace." The dragon let go of the crystal ball and started to turn away.

"Are you going to fight him?" Kristall asked curiously.

Kamikazan halted. "... Perhaps if he is wise, he will surrender what I desire immediately," he mused aloud. "Under those circumstances, I suppose my elation at having the key to my mate's heart may inspire me to leave immediately, without rendering the fool to soot first."

"According to your memories, the last time he was not wise," Kristall continued. "So you're going to fight him. In that case, I would consider it seeristic malpractice not to give you a cryptic warning that you'll lose."

"What?!" the disguised serpent whirled around, his eyes narrowed into slits.

The elderly mare leaned back in her seat and shrugged. "I have no stake in this affair, of course, aside from some general displeasure at having my business damaged and being threatened. But the visions were so strong that they happened to show a few glimpses of the future. They did not augur well for you."

"Do you know who I am, mare?!" Kamikazan smarled, blasting hot embers from his nostrils.

"I don't, actually. You never introduced yourself. But it's perfectly irrelevant. I'm just warning you. It's... how to put this..." Kristall tapped a hoof against her chin thoughtfully. "... Destiny rushes around this pony like a whirlpool, trapping everypony and everything around him into it and leaving ruin in its wake. It's hard to describe it precisely, but the poor stallion is little more than a walking curse. Finding him in the aether was as simple as spotting a tornado in a placid field. Unwinding his destiny was harder, and rather grim work, at that." She chuckled to herself.

"How does any of that suggest I would lose in battle to a mere equine?" Kamikazan demanded, stamping a foot on the floor.

"I don't know much about you or this stallion you've set yourself to hunting," the unicorn replied with a small smile, "but both of you are far from 'mere equines.'"

Kamikazan looked like he was going to protest again, but suddenly another shout came from outside, this time much more clearly.

"Wait, over here! There's a hole in this door! Don't look right t'me!"

Kamikazan swung his head around, glaring toward the bead curtains. "... Whatever. I have what I came for. I've wasted enough time."

"Thank you for your business. Please don't come again," Kristall drawled while the dragon prince strode into her lobby.

"Aw, geez! How did I miss that?" Rainbow Dash griped, swooping down to hover over Applejack.

Twilight rushed over a moment later, with Spike riding on her back. "Well that's... That's a little small to be a dragon's entry breach, isn't it?"

"Ya think it was just a stray fireball or somethin'?" Applejack asked, glancing around. "Ah don't see no other burns 'round here."

Twilight approached the door to investigate, only to quickly recoil when something emerged from the hole. Kamikazan calmly strolled out in front of the building, surveying the surprised ponies with a silent sneer.

Until his eyes fell on Twilight.

"What is this?" the great serpent asked, his eyebrow arching. "A Princess? I've never seen this one before."

Twilight stared at the bizarre non-pony, taking in the hybrid creature's horns and the claws on its arms. "You... Are you the dragon? We saw one fly over this street earlier..."

"I am! Allow me to introduce myself! I am Kamikazan, King of Dragons!" He grinned, and small jets of flame blew from his nostrils. "What you see before you is a magical hybrid body I use for convenience when in the presence of vermin too easily intimidated by my true majesty!"

The ponies scowled, none too happy at being referred to as "vermin." Spike frowned.

"You're a king? Of dragons? We have a king?" he asked.

"Yes, little one. You stand before your liege," Kamikazan snorted. "Of course, it has been... some time since the reign of my family, and in the intervening centuries it seems my kingdom has been forgotten. Or something. I didn't really check; I've been pretty busy since I woke up." He coughed, blasting a small cloud of dusty soot from his mouth. "Also, there are SOME who would contest that I merely hold the title of crown prince, but those individuals are wrong, and also dumb." His eyes narrowed, once again focused on Twilight. "Now speak, alicorn. Tell me your name and lineage. Has Princess Celestia borne a foal after all?"

Twilight looked shocked at the suggestion. "Wh-What? Me, her daughter? No! I'm Twilight Sparkle! I'm just her student!"

"Ah. And nowadays her students are gifted with immortal bodies? How disappointing," Kamikazan said with a grimace. "The mighty alicorns dilute their majesty with the ascension of lesser creatures to their esteemed class. Celestia, as always, is far too kind to her servants."

"Hey! Watch it, weirdo!" Rainbow Dash said hotly, circling around him in the air. "We're not Celestia's 'servants,' and Twi's not 'lesser' than anypony!"

"Ya got quite a mouth on ya fer dragon royalty," Applejack drawled, tilting her hat slightly while she regarded Kamikazan with a glare. "What're ya buzzin' pony towns and burning down doors fer, Mr. Prince?"

"That is none of your concern, equine," Kamikazan replied with a sneer, turning away and heading down the street. "Now begone; I've more important matters to attend to."

The mares bristled, but as the dragon prince vaulted into the air none of them moved to hinder him. Kamikazan built his altitude above the roofs of the town, and then curled his body slightly before an aura of flame exploded around him. A few seconds later, the massive red wings of his true draconic body spread over the streets, prompting another wave of shouting and needless panic. Kamikazan curved around in the air, and then soared past the city's limits.

"What a jerk," Rainbow Dash said, staring angrily after the enormous serpent. "What did he even want? Did he just show up to give ponies a scare or something?"

"I'm a bit more interested in the existence of a putative draconic royal order, but for now we really should make sure he didn't kill anypony," Twilight admitted.

Applejack was already strolling toward the damaged door, but before she could step through the scorched hole, the door opened ahead of her. An elderly mare stepped out, grimaced at the black-rimmed hole, and then looked up at the sky.

"Excuse me! Hi! I'm Twilight Sparkle!" Twilight scurried in front of the unicorn and gave her an awkward wave. "Do you need any help? Did that shape-shifting dragon hurt anypony?"

"Him? No. He didn't damage anything that can't be replaced," Kristall batted the door closed with a disgusted grunt. "Thanks for checking on me though, dears. I'm sure the local guards locked themselves in the barracks as soon as somepony shouted 'dragon!' Hmph."

"What was that varmint here fer? Ah didn't see him holdin' nothin' when he left," Applejack said, frowning toward the sky.

"Oh, he didn't steal anything. Aside from my time and expertise, I suppose." Krystall glanced over at Twilight, hestitating. "You're Princess Celestia's student, aren't you? The new Princess? Are you here to hunt that animal down?"

"Yes, I'm Twilight Sparkle, but we're not here for anything like that," Twilight assured her. "We're searching for somepony. We just happened to arrive when he did. As long as nopony's hurt, then we should be heading out on our way."

The three younger mares turned away and started to trot off. Krystall's horn flickered suddenly, and she tilted her head to the side curiously.

"This pony you're looking for... would it happen to be a stallion named Ranma Saotome?"

The mares jerked to a stop, and Spike whirled around on one foot.

"What? You know him?!" Twilight asked, moderately afraid of where this conversation was going.

"Not exactly," Kristall chuckled, "but that's what the lizard wanted. It was just a hunch that you were after the same thing."

"Ah knew it," Applejack groaned, shaking her head. "Ah just knew this was all about Sow-toh-may somehow."

"By the way, we call him Havoc," Rainbow Dash pointed out. "Havoc is his pony name."

"We do not call him that!" Twilight protested. "His real name is Ranma!"

"In any case," Kristall said loudly, taking control of the conversation once more, "if you're looking for this lad, then I can help. Using the dragon's magic - and rather obsessive personality - I was able to pinpoint him."

"What? You can tell us where he is?" Twilight beamed, clapping her hooves together.

"Better than that," the seer said with a smirk. "I told the lizard that he's in Venom Valley, but the vision was so powerful I caught a glimpse of where he's going. If you leave now, you can probably head off the stallion while the dragon is still poking around the old mines."

"Yes! Thank you!" Twilight almost jumped for joy, happy that she had a better lead than her MacGuffin sense. "Where can we find him?"

Rather than answering the question, Kristall stared at her door. She reached a leg into the burnt hole in the middle of it, running a hoof along the scorched circumference.

"What a chore to have to clean up fire damage today," the elderly pony said with a tired sigh. "Bad enough that the dragon made me do the scrying for free, but with everypony so jittery from his appearance, I probably won't get any real customers today... Pity."

Twilight stared at the unicorn, uncomprehending. Applejack caught on immediately, however, and started rooting through her saddlebag.

"Yeah, yeah, we know the drill. Ain't nothin' fer free if yer NOT a ten-ton, fire-breathing varmint, Ah guess." She tossed a small bag through the air, and it was caught in a cloud of pink magic. The bag jingled while it hung in the air, presenting a strong clue as to what was inside.

"Why, thank you, dear!" Kristall chirped, grinning. "While I would be plenty happy just knowing that you got to the stallion before said varmint, spite doesn't put food on the table." She floated the money onto her back and then cleared her throat. "Right now, Ranma or Havoc or whatever is rooting around in Metalleus, an old abandoned silver mine in Venom Valley. But it looks like he's already getting ready to leave; I got the definite sense that he stirred up some trouble while he was there."

"Ah can only imagine," Applejack drawled.

"He's heading for a town just a short trip West of Fillydelphia. Lancanter, I believe. I don't believe the dragon will be able to find him before he gets there." Kristall paused. "Or at least, I don't believe the dragon will be able to stop him from reaching it."

"What do you mean by that?" Rainbow Dash asked. "What's the difference?"

"... I'll just give you the same warning I gave fangs a few minutes ago," the unicorn said. "This stallion is a veritable walking curse. Where he treads, devastation follows and destiny itself is rent apart."

"Destiny? What?" Twilight recoiled slightly and furrowed her brow around her horn. "What does that mean?"

"... Hmm, I suppose I can't properly describe it," Kristall sighed. "It's something that hardly made sense even to me as I witnessed it. And I do this for a living." She stepped forward and placed a hoof against Twilight's shoulder. "Just be careful, young one. I know you've seen your share of danger, but... this one is something else."

"I know," Twilight said firmly, patting the older mare's leg. "We've met this pony before. We'll be fine."

"Yeah, he's cool! And if Havoc gives us any trouble Twi can just blow him up like she-"

"THANK YOU RAINBOW DASH WE WILL BE FINE LIKE I SAID," Twilight interrupted through clenched teeth. "Ahem! What's the fastest way to get to Lancanter?"

"You'll be best served taking the overnight train to Fillydelphia. From there you can make the route on hoof, or join a caravan." Kristall backed away, and flashed the mares a crooked smile. "You should go now. You'll need to hurry if you want to save that lousy punk."

"I'm not so sure Ranma will need rescuing, actually, but you're right," Twilight agreed, turning around. "Thank you for your help!"

Kristall snickered and headed back into her shop. "You're welcome, dear... but I was talking about the dragon."

Her magic aura reached out to the broken door, and the fortune teller pulled it shut behind her.

"...... What?"

For the first time in months, laughter and music came from Trotter's Gulch.

It was late evening, and Celestia's sun had long since passed beneath the mountains that straddled Venom Valley. Light poured from the interior of the town's unnamed tavern, along with the rhythmic stamping of hooves and off-key piano music. Hooting and shouting fequently rose above the sound of music, creating a cacophany of joy that had been absent from the bandit-ravaged territories for a long time.

Inside the tavern, ponies danced and guzzled dandelion ale with reckless abandon. Many of them frequently tripped or had coughing fits, reckless in their blissful celebration and heedless of the vile quality of the booze. It didn't slow any of them down; the ponies here knew that their triumph may last only slightly longer than their drinks, and they eagerly took advantage.

In the middle of the room, on a large table, was a pile of golden bits. The payout for the bandits had been quite generous, especially as a few of the veteran thieves had unique criminal records and notoriety beyond being members of the Morning Star gang. Between the broken, impoverished remnants of Trotter's Gulch, the reward would be easy to split across the entire town.

The question remained, however, how the money would best be spent. Would they restore the town or flee it? Hire guards and more bounty hunters? Send a messenger to petition Canterlot for help? None of the ponies knew whether morning would bring aggrieved criminals or their cowardly mayor to their door, and at the moment they didn't care.

"Ha ha HA! And then-AND THEN! I told the guards that the bandits had been defeated by the Great and Powerful Trixie! You shoulda seen their faces! It was priceless!" laughed a stallion, his ale mug shaking as his hoof banged the counter.

"Turns out the mare has a reputation for something other than bandit hunting 'round there! They say she's some kinda shady showpony!" chuckled another. "'Magine that! A stage magician taking on a bandit gang!"

"They didn't even believe us! Started grillin' ol' Bootstrap on what really happened! Hee hee hee!"

"End of the day, though, they had their criminals and they paid out!" the pony crashed his mug against several others, splashing droplets of ale over himself and his friends. "Mighty generous of our conquering hero to leave the crooks to us rather than collecting themselves!"

"I still think we should have turned in Sour Grapes with 'em!" mumbled another stallion, frowning into his drink.

"Don't be daft, colt! He doesn't have a bounty, and we can't prove he did nothing!"

"If he ain't locked up though, what's to stop him from just ratting us out to the rest of the raiders?"

"Are we sure there are any?"

"Look, I'm as impressed as anypony that Miss Trixie and... uh... her friend managed to take down that last bunch, but we all know they're walking into a death trap if they're really trying to track down Morning Star by themselves. I hope those two backed off and got out of town before that prissy tyrant got her hooves on them..."

"Prissy tyrant! HAH! Sounds like their bravado is rubbing off on you! That or the ale!"

Another wave of laughter rolled through the tavern.

And then the door opened.

Only a few ponies glanced over at first, barely distracted from their drinks and chatting, and their eyes widened. A few gasps attracted more attention, and within a few seconds the music unceremoniously halted. Soon all the bar denizens were staring at the entrance, eyes narrowed.

A single earth pony stallion stood in the doorway. His coat was dirty and ragged, and he had bandage wrappings around his head and one knee. None of the civilians recognized the pony, but they had all long since learned to pick out the signs of bandits and thieves among those equines that didn't happily advertise their allegiance.

Putting aside the clear injuries, however, this one also appeared to be unarmed. The new pony's ears pinned back as he looked over the tavern interior silently, scanning the room from end to end. The townsponies said nothing, simply glaring at him silently. A few of them pushed away their mugs and stood up straight, readying themselves to rush the newcomer if necessary.

It was not necessary. Visibly cowed, the bandit wordlessly moved to the side while holding the door open. A moment later a second stallion - also bearing the signs of a criminal lifestyle and recent injury - entered the tavern nervously. At this, all the ponies in the room gasped in shock.

Slung over the stallion's back was an unconscious mare whose visage graced thousands of bounty posters. Morning Star was limp and unconscious, her front and rear legs were bound with rope, and a prominent lump poked through her golden blond mane. Her family's artifact and signature weapon was nowhere to be seen.

"Is... Is that...?"

"There's no way... by Celestia..."

"Okay, fine, it's Morning Star. Does anypony want to explain why a couple of bandits are carrying her in here?"

The confused muttering stopped when yet another pony entered. This mare was bright blue with a star-spangled hat and cape, and her expression of haughty satisfaction was the polar opposite of the smoldering humiliation that came from the bandits. The few townsponies that had seen her before brightened immediately.

"Good evening, mares and gentlecolts," Trixie said with a toothy smile. "Can Trixie leave this with you, by any chance? Trixie has quite a long trip ahead of her and doesn't really need another mouth to feed."

"It's Trixie!"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is back! She did it!"

"She actually defeated Morning Star! Incredible!"

"Let's hear it for Trixie! Heroine of Venom Valley!"

"HIP, HIP, HOORAY!! HIP, HIP, HOORAY!!"

Trixie didn't say anything while the tavern's patrons cheered her on, simply smirking while brushing off a foreleg nonchalantly.

One of the bandits accompanying her frowned, and then leaned in closer to the unicorn. "Hey, uh... you gonna mention that it was Havoc who did most of the work down there?"

"Of course not," she scoffed, lowering her voice so that the cheering ponies wouldn't hear. "Trixie has enough trouble with bounty hunters as it is. If Trixie just announces who her bodyguard is, she'll have even more mercenaries and probably the Royal Guard hounding her within days."

"Hey! Miss Great and Powerful!" shouted somepony from the back.

Trixie spotted the bartender approaching her, and she quickly stepped away from the subdued criminal. "Yes? Did you need something? Trixie will have to leave town immediately, unfortunately, so we won't have time to stay for any festivities or extended compensation. Many of the Morning Star bandits escaped when Trixie attacked their base, and they may be looking for revenge."

"Sounds like a good call. We'll take Miss Star off your hooves, and thank you for the opportunity!" The pegasus stopped right in front of Trixie, briefly giving hostile glances to the injured stallions next to her. "Anyway, I never introduced myself earlier, and I apologize for that; I try not to get too attached to new faces." She chuckled and then swept her wingtips forward to touch her chest. "My name is Sweet Sauce, and I'd like you to have a little something. Why don't we take this outside?"

"Very well." Trixie reared up and then bowed to the crowd of patrons, who responded with another round of whooping and cheering. "Farewell, Trotter's Gulch! Though it pains Trixie to abstain from further fawning gratitude and helping you spend the reward money, the Great and Powerful Trixie must leave you now!"

"Goodbye, Trixie!"

"We love you, Trixie!"

"HIP, HIP, HOORAY!!"

"I want to thank you again for what you've done here. From the looks of things you're profiting plenty from your efforts, but getting rid of these mules is worth a lot more to us than just the knick-knacks that they steal."

Sweet Sauce stood outside her bar, looking up at the wagon that Trixie had trotted into town with. Although it was still packed with supplies as before, now there were several new sacks piled on top and strapped to the sides and back. The defeated bandits meekly walked up to the front of the wagon as she spoke, and then started strapping themselves into a pair of harnesses. Meanwhile, a certain pigtailed stallion laid in the wagon bed in an exhausted heap, snoring loudly.

Sweet Sauce clutched a tall, vaguely cylinder-shaped bag under one wing, and she turned around and carefully placed it down in front of Trixie. "Here. It ain't much, but it's something. After you left I dug through my special stashes that I have hidden under the floorboards. This is the best I could find."

Trixie looked over the bag curiously, then tugged the drawstring loose with a flicker of magic. Within was a tall glass bottle wrapped up in a page of parchment. The parchment was fairly new, and it seemed to be blank on the side currently exposed to view.

"That there is pear wine. Again, nothing special, but it's my favorite and I've been protecting it for a special occasion. Having a 150k bounty dropped off on my doorstep is quite an occasion, so here you go." She chuckled briefly, and then stepped closer. "I also found something else that I want you to have. The boys that left to redeem the bounty brought that parchment back, and I thought that it would be more useful in your hooves than tacked up on my wall."

Trixie hesitated, looking over the bottle, and then used her magic to pull the wrapped parchment loose. The other side, it turned out, was not blank, and the magician flinched when she realized that she was staring at a bounty poster. A new bounty poster, specifically, featuring Ranma's face, his real name, and a revised 250,000 bit reward.

On the plus side, it had "wanted alive" at the top. That was a substantial improvement.

Sweet Sauce smirked and glanced up at Ranma. "That's quite a valuable stallion you've managed to bag, Miss Great and Powerful. Congrats!"

Trixie gulped. "W-Well, it's not that he... uh, that is, the poster doesn't really-"

"Hey now, relax," the bartender chuckled. "I'm no bounty hunter or lawpony. Hay, by now I barely consider myself an Equestrian citizen. I didn't tell nopony, and I'm not gonna tell nopony. And if I hear anypony try to spread any salacious rumors about our Great and Powerful Hero traveling with a dangerous criminal, well, that's just crazy slander, and I'll have to set 'em straight." She winked.

Trixie blinked, and then quickly recovered her earlier haughty expression. "Your discretion is appreciated, Miss Sauce! This is, of course, all a terrible misunderstanding with the law, but Ranma has a way of turning terrible misunderstandings into giant, burnt-out piles of flame and rubble."

"He sounds like a catch, all right. No pun intended," the pegasus said with a grin. "You're gonna want to skip town right quick. With the gang crippled and with some fresh bits in town, we can expect plenty of new bounty hunters and peacekeepers to flood into the area soon."

"Naturally. Thank you for the gift and for your help. And for your silence." Trixie floated the wine bottle up into the wagon bed, and then jumped up next to Ranma. The movement jostled him considerably, but the stallion simply rolled over in his sleep and slumped against Trixie's legs.

She was about to shout at the bandits hooked to the wagon, but then she experienced a sudden and very unusual whim. Trixie frowned, her thoughts swimming, and then turned and called out to Sweet Sauce. "Hey! One more thing!"

The bartender had been turning around to return to her tavern, but quickly brought her attention back to Trixie. "Yeah? You need something else?"

"No, it's... Well..." Trixie pursed her lips, glancing over at the unconscious stallion lying next to her. "... Look, as long as you know about him anyway, and you're not telling anypony, Trixie just thinks you should know..." Her ears turned down, and she flushed slightly. "It was actually Ranma here who beat Morning Star and saved you. Much more than Trixie, at any rate."

"Heh. Yeah, I figured he might have done the heavy lifting. He whupped those local punks before, and he has an even bigger bounty than Star," Sweet Sauce chuckled.

"Yes, but... not just that. It was Ranma who wanted to fight the bandits and help you all, and he talked Trixie into it. Trixie wanted to just pass through the valley while avoiding trouble, and if Trixie had gotten her way... well, HE'D be in better shape, obviously, but other than that, Trixie supposes we'd all be worse off." She shifted uncomfortably and sighed. "So while Trixie deserves SUBSTANTIAL credit and adulation for our efforts in saving you all... Ranma deserves most of it. Or half, maybe. Some, at least. Trixie still did a lot!"

Sweet Sauce arched an eyebrow, and Trixie turned her eyes away, her face burning. For the life of her, Trixie really didn't understand why she'd felt the sudden urge to credit the martial artist. It wasn't as if anypony other than the bartender would ever know, and frankly if anypony did, it would only cause more trouble.

"Well, shucks... that's mighty kind of the infamous rebel Havoc," Sweet Sauce said, causing Trixie to flinch again. "I don't imagine I have much to offer him as a gift that he'd want. So I'll tell you what: next time you two get some private time together, give him a smooch for ol' Sweet Sauce, y'hear?" She winked and turned around again.

Trixie's blush darkened tenfold, and she started sputtering indignantly. "Wh-What? A smooch?! What do you think we are?! We're not a couple! He's my bodyguard!" she shouted after the bartender.

"None of my business, Miss Great and Powerful," Sweet Sauce replied on her way back into the tavern. "My request stands, though."

She pushed opened the door and trotted back inside.

Trixie's face kept burning as she turned to face the road, and she released an irritated snort. "The nerve of some ponies... and after she talked about 'crazy slander.' Bah!"

The only other ponies around who were awake to hear her complaints were, of course, the two bandits strapped to her wagon. When she looked down at the road, both of the stallions were staring up at her with skeptical expressions.

"Aren't you being a little too defensive? It's not THAT unreasonable a conclusion."

"Frankly, I'm not buying it. You two totally seem like a couple. And why else would he turn down Morning Star so easily?"

Trixie glared down at the bandits, and her horn flickered beneath her hat. "Trixie would like to remind you both that the only thing keeping Trixie from leaving you in a broken heap next to your ex-boss - arguably the morally right and just thing to do, by the way - is the inconvenience of having to pull the cart until Havoc recovers. You're becoming quite the inconvenience yourselves."

The stallions cringed, and then quickly turned away.

"Okay! Okay! Mouth of the valley, and then we get to go free, right?"

"I'm sorry! I don't care if you and the monster pony go for hay rides! Please don't turn us in!"

Trixie growled. "Then CAN IT and get moving, you losers! GO!"

The bandit ponies lurched forward, straining against their injuries to accelerate the cart. Soon they were moving at a good clip through the devastated town, and fast approaching the border of the settlement. The cart wheels rattled and the various new sacks and boxes of treasure jingled, which was all barely audible over Ranma's restless snoring.

For a while Trixie endured the ride in sullen silence, glaring at the backs of the defeated bandits and planning out how precisely she would beat them down if they decided to try to turn on her while Ranma was still asleep. Every once in a while, however, she glanced down at the martial artist nestled against her side. Ranma was curled up against her in his sleep, cat-like, apparently oblivious to the vibrations and the numerous hard, uneven objects he was sleeping on.

"Just a bodyguard," Trixie mumbled to herself, snagging a rolled-up blanket with her magic and unrolling it over her back. The other end she levitated over Ranma before letting it go to cover both of them.

Author's Note

Honestly I considered having Ranma get walloped in round one and then get rescued by Trixie and end with them having to beat Morning Star with friendship or something buuuuuut that would take a long time and it's time to get Twilight in on this hot dragon-fighting action.
Also, do you guys remember Blood Rite? He's actually not dead! Spoiler alert!