The Only Chapter (unedited)
Twilight woke up to the chirping of pony birds. Yawning and stretching, she cracked a few joints while getting out of bed, trying to fully wake up. She slowly walked to the kitchen where the smell of pancakes and coffee wafted out from. Twilight entered to see Starlight Glimmer already there with her face firmly planted to the table, snoring loudly. It has been a stressful month for both of them; then again, there are others who were have an even worse time than they were.
“Twilight? Is that you?” Spike’s voice came from behind the kitchen counter as Twilight pulled up a chair, scraping it on the floor.
Sitting down and taking part in the face planing with Starlight, she muffled back to Spike, “Yes, there are only three ponies who lives in the castle, Spike. Now bring me that coffee.” She winced a bit at her own tone. She really shouldn't talk to Spike that way, giving what’s he’s been through; even if he was fine with it.
A purple earth pony with a green mane and tail walked out from behind the counter, balancing a tray with their breakfast on his back. “You don’t know. Maybe Rarity came to see me,” Spike said. Using his mouth to skillfully place the tray on the table. “I’m still waiting for her to say ‘yes’.”
The first thing Spike did after being turned into a pony was to run straight to Rarity and ask for a 'date'. He was the first amongst others to fully adjust to his new body, maybe it was because he’s been turned into a dog before, twice.
It has been a month since Discord cast that stupid, stupid spell. ‘It’ll be hilarious’ were his last words before he snapped his fingers. Twilight, Celestia and Luna, who were in the hall with him, all had tried to stop him, but how can one be faster then the snap of a claw. They all blacked out and according to the furious letters they received afterwards, demanding an explanation, all the other species around the world had fainted at the same time.
The alicorns woke up seconds later to see a pony standing in front of them. The pony was old, so old it was a miracle it was still alive. He was a brown earth pony with a huge white beard and bushy brows. But that was where logic ended. His spine was long, too long for a pony to function normally and the legs were all the wrong sizes. But the most disturbing was his head, with a deer antler sticking out from the right and a blue goat horn on the left. “Why did I do that?” Discords voice wheezed out from the pony’s mouth right before he collapsed on the ground, too tired just from standing up.
Why indeed. It was soon known that Discord has achieved his ultimate goal, bringing chaos to every corner around the world. For he has turned every living creature that wasn’t a pony into a pony. Even though Twilight never dared say it, it was quite amazing to see Celestia’s white face get even whiter when she read through the poorly hoofwritten mail sent to her from every nation; demanding an explanation on why they were all suddenly ponies.
Quitting out of her flash back, Twilight floated her coffee towards herself. “You almost gave her a heart attack; to have an underage stranger rush up to you and confessing their love and asking for marriage. You were lucky I was there or she would have slapped you,” said Twilight sipping on her coffee.
“I wouldn't mind being slapped by Rarity,” Spike mumbled under his breath, taking a drink from his glass of pony milk.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!” Spike quickly shouted. slamming his glass on the table in panic, causing Starlight to jerk awake.
“NO! NO MORE!” Starlight shouted as she bolted up right.
“Morning, Starlight,” Twilight said while she munched on her hey pancake.
“Hugh?” Starlight uttered still half asleep. She slowly shook the sleep away and finally saw who were in front of her. “Oh. Hi, Twilight.”
“Didn’t get any sleep?”
“No,” Starlight replied pulling her mug of coffee to her. “The Crystal Empire has sent us more books, but so far still no headway,” she said cupping the mug with her hooves. Celestia has told all the great minds of Equestria to figure out a way to reverse what Discord has done, since he can’t undo it himself; being turned into an earth pony.
The first thing they did was ask Discord how to turn everyone back, but all they got was, “I don’t know. I don’t even know how my magic works. I just think of something and it comes true. It’s chaotic like that.”
“I’ll help you with it, but it's my turn to help FlutterShy this morning. And since I’ll be near the Everfree Forest, I might go to the Castle of the Two Sisters again and bring more books to help us,” Twilight said after finishing off her pancake. All she got was Starlight waving her hoof in agreement, too tired to say anything.
“Do you think I could go and see Rarity?” Spike asked hopefully.
“No, spike. Help Starlight go through the books. You can see her once this is all over,” Twilight said downing the rest of her coffee in one go, filling her up with energy. Out of all her friends, Rarity might have been the one who’s got it worst; how do you teach a pony with a mind of a cat to stop using the litter box?
“Maybe I don’t want to turn back,” Spike whispered, too quiet for the others to hear.
Standing up, Twilight walked to the doors. “I should be back before noon. And Spike, make more coffee. I think Starlight needs it.” After getting a grunt from Spike, she stepped out of her castle.
It was still chaos outside. Small ponies with wings flying about, chirping in horse voices. It’s amazing how they never knew how much birds poop back then when she sees it now. A small pony with butterfly wings gently landing on a flower, delicately deepthroating the stamen like a-Oh wait, a round fat pony stuck out it long tongue and dragged the ponyfly into its mouth. After realizing it couldn't eat the ponyfly, the ponyfrog spat it out and jumped away searching for other food, leaving the ponyfly dazed and drenched with spit. Looking carefully you can see miniature ponies with antlers walking in a straight line towards to pony-bird poop searching for anything nutritious. It still makes her want to throw up every time she sees it.
Twilight walked past Sugarcube Corner as Pinkie’s scream rang through Ponyville. Guess Pinkie never realized how much Gummy tends to bite her when he didn’t have any teeth.
Walking past all the miserable morning ponies getting ready for work, Twilight finally reached FlutterShy’s cottage. It was her turn to help feed the animals turned ponies for FlutterShy today, for it is scheduled for the hydra to be fed today. It has fallen upon FlutterShy’s friends to help feed this beast due to FlutterShy fainting every time seeing it. But then, Twilight was sure she’d faint if she saw a gigantic four headed pony trying to eat a pony with a scorpion for a lower half.
After feeding the hydra pony; the hey farms must be earning a fortune. Twilight started heading towards Castle of the Two Sisters. She walked past AppleJack’s farm, but she knew they didn’t need any help. Apparently they trained Winona how to applebuck. The only problem they got was that one time Winona when into heat. Rainbow Dash was napping in the tree with pony Gilda at the time when they were woken up by the sound of grunting, she later told Twilight she saw AppleJack tie up Big Mac then lock him and Winona in the barn.
Raiwbow Dash and pony Gilda started dating after Gilda got transformed into a pony. She flew straight from Griffonstone to Ponyville in a day. Upon seeing Rainbow Dash, confessed her feeling; saying she was scared of being regretted when she was still a Griffon. Hearing that Dash proceeded to slap Gilda in the face, saying she was stupid for thinking that way and made out with her on the spot, giving the onlooking clots and fillies a detailed pony reproduction lesson.
Twilight walked past the cow den, or milk pony den would be more accurate now. She greeted Daisy and the others as they happily munched on hey. The cows, like Spike, were the first bunch to accept being turned. And judging by some rumors floating around, they have became quite popular among the stallions with their big udders and lactation; apparently it was just a fantasy for a selected few, but since now ponies with hug lactating udders was a reality, the cows were getting a following that's only growing every passing day.
As Twilight was near the Forest she saw Big Mac applebucking in the field with who must the the pony form of Winona. Winona was a beautiful pony with a brown and white coat, it’d be nice if she’d stop wearing the collar and keep her tongue out, raising and wagging her tail for the whole world to see. Winona was pressing her body against Big Mac’s when Twilight walked by. Upon seeing her, Big Mac’s face lit up with embarrassment. Twilight awkwardly waved at them. Big Mac rose his leg to wave back but stop mid-way, eyes growing big as saucers. Looking to see what the problem was, Twilight saw Winona bend her head under Big Mac and- Twilight decided teleporting to the Castle was better idea.
Arriving at the Castle, Twilight had to take deep breaths to calm her nerves. Thinking ‘I’ll kill Discord once this is over. I’ll kill Discord once this is over. I’ll kill Discord once this is over.’ over and over in her head.
Once Twilight calmed down she walked to where the library was. It was already half empty because they moved half to books to her own castle last week, unfortunately those books didn’t help. Readying her magic to mass teleport the books and herself to her castle, she took a deep breath and-
*Splat*
It seems like some pony birds have decided to nest in the castle judging by the warm gooey substance on her head. Evaporating the poo and sterilizing the top of her head twice, she once again took a deep~ breath. ‘I’ll kill Discord once this is over. I’ll kill Discord once this is over. I’ll fucking kill Discord once this is over.’
Getting ready for the second time, Twilight readied her spell. And before anything else could happen she teleported the books and herself to her own library.
With a pop Twilight appeared in the library with her books neatly piled next to her. Looking forward to seeing her friends working hard to solve the problem, she only got a Starlight snoring and drooling over a open book and A letter by Spike saying he’s going to see Rarity.
‘I’ll kill Discord once this is over. I’ll kill Discord once this is over. I’ll kill Discord once this is over.’
Author's Note
I can know sleep peaceful with this stupid idea out of my head. It's your problem now. Good night.
