Epic Rap Battles of Ponyville

by Tardis of Dr Whooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random
Length: 1067

Rap battles between either 2 ponies, or at least 1 pony and someone from anywhere else!

I got bored and decided to start something new. This will be something like a place for rap battles! Best of all, YOU decide who goes against who next!!!! Hopefully you'll enjoy the first few! ;) The rules for choosing are, at least one of them has to be a pony (or spike ect) but the 2nd can either be anyother person from the show, or someone from somewhere else completly!!!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-30 12:59:39 UTC

Twilight vs Trixie

Ponyville, seems normal enough. All friendship and stuff. But now, battles are appearing everywhere. They always say the most powerful weapon is your tounge! Well thats EXACTALLY what they use! They face off in....

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF PONYVILLE!!!!!

The mayor of ponyville steps up onto the stage with almost every pony attending.

"Mares and Colts! Today is our first ever EPIC RAP BATTLE OF PONYVILLE!!" The crowd roared with cheers as they all wanted to see who would be facing off who.

"TONIGHT WE HAVE...

VS

"BEGIN!"

Twilight

I'm Twilight sparkle,

I read alot of books,

I can do real magic,

And I have good looks!

You couldn't cast a spell, your out of practice,

I'll win this battle easy like paying off taxes!

Fact is: You're a fraud,

You're nothing but a joke!

You couldn't even open a simple can of coke!

I'll teleport to places and I'll start a petition,

Because we all know that you're not a magician!

Trixe

Oh dear lookie here, it's boring ol Twilight,

I don't see anyone here worth to fight,

You say you're the best but is that really true?

Cause the one who slept with Big Mac was infact YOU!

I'm queen of magic,

And leader of the arts!

You're just a filler who thinks she has smarts!

You may have some tricks but you're in for a shock,

When I take you down, with a magical clock!

Twilight

STOP!

I protest to that pathetic rap!

It takes one book for me to buck your @$$!

Cause I'm magic!

I'M TWILIGHT!

I'm a lovable mare!

So back away now,

Or battle if you dare!

Trixie

HAH! What was that? Just a bad rip off!

I'm sure to win and the whole crowd will scoff!

You hearing this? Cause you're in bad shape,

But I'm feeling glorious, especially with my cape.

I must admit, I can't belive you tried.

If you carried on I might've died!

From laughing that is cause you're just so weak!

Looks like a fairy had a little leak!

I've been casting spells since I started this song!

Because everything you do is just plain WRONG!

"WHO WON?

WHOS NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!!"

Rarity vs Dr Mario

The mayor of Ponyville stepped onto the stage for a new announcement "Mares and colts of Ponyville! Tonight we have out first challenger from another dimension! We can have anyone battle one of us now! So lets start!!!"

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF PONYVILLE!!!!

VS

BEGIN!

Rarity

I'll start of easy, best not make a mess.

If I knew you were coming I'd make you a dress,

OF SHAME!

Thats right, little do you know,

My very own eyes will make your mind blown,

An apple a day should keep a doctor away,

So I better get a bunch and cause you great dismay!

Dr Mario

It'sa me Mario, please get on the stand,

I'll teach you about pain with the back of my hand,

Look at the spot of where you have sat,

You look unhealthy or maby your just FAT,

I went there deary, sorry but it's true,

I guess these facts are too much for you,

You need a new checkup, maby once a week?

I'll have to clamp your mouth shut so you can't speak!

The very point of this is to make you well.

Well thats not happening cause you're going to HELL!

Rarity

HOW DARE YOU! YOU DARE CALL ME FAT?

I'll teach you YA LITTLE T£@T!!!

I'll make a new shirt, from your very own skin,

Yet you wouldn't mind cause thats what you're asking!

I'm a calm mare, I'm sure you can tell,

But you are a doctor so thats why you smell.

I'm posh and I'm pretty and theres nothing else to say,

I should get back to work so please go away!

Dr Mario

NOT so fast little one as you can see,

there's no way that you can beat me!

I destroy germs as if they were a stain,

I'll show you a whole new meaning of pain!

I'm sure you will protest but I'm a good fellow,

Especially when I take out a giant MARSHMELLOW!

Battling me is just not worth it,

Cause after this you're the one to be hit!

WHO WON?

WHOS NEXT???

YOU DECIDE!!!

Author Note: This may be the first and last author note that I'll ever write but I'm just going to say that these first 3 rap battle groupings were picked by my friend Tardis34 (His You-Tube and Devianart name) but now it's up to YOU guys to pick! Who's going against who? Well, it's your choice! (Of course I'll wait for a little bit, after a few posts I'll get my buddy to pick one at random for me!) ;)

Pinkie Pie vs Rainbow Dash

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF PONYVILLE!!!!

VS

BEGIN

Pinkie Pie

I'm little Pinkie Pie but I'm not a filly,

Battling me is just plain silly!

You fly around as if you own the place,

I'll throw mud pies right into your face!

You think your fast,

Well thats a thing of the past,

Cause I got a party cannon,

AND IT'S READY TO BLAST!

Rainbow Dash

Jeez calm down you seem to be stressed,

Not surprising if thats your best,

I'm queen of the sky, and fan of the wonderbolts,

You only attract cakes but repel the colts,

I'll fly around in circles making you dizzy,

Cause it seems your busy being topped up with fizzy,

I fly with my wings and you in a balloon,

But i'm the only one who does a SONIC RAINBOOM!

Pinkie Pie

Whos cares, you can fly,

But you could die,

Even if you do, I'll still be baking cakes,

I'll sabotage you're races by putting in rakes!

You think you're all that but tell me this,

Who was the last colt YOU ever kissed?

You're gonna carry on, cause you never want to loose,

So either stop or go, you're the one to choose!

Rainbow Dash

Pfft, thats it? What a rubbish rhyme,

But now i'm afraid your out of time,

Cause I'll use my tecniques and I'll throw you down,

You may always smile but now your gonna frown,

You are a poofy, while I'm a rainbow mane,

But you lost from the start cause YOU.ARE.INSANE!

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!!!!!!