Lost Little Ponyby PotatoJoeChaptersOneTwoThreeOneCelestia awoke. The simple action was as wonderful as anything in her life. For a thousand years, she’d gone without sleep - it wasn’t necessary to an Alicorn, but it was highly refreshing - but with her sisters return, she’d been able to rest almost every night for a year and a half. But as consciousness filled her brain, she frowned. She knew what today was. And what it could be. It was either going to be one that restored her faith in a particular pony or ratified her unfortunate notion that he was beyond saving. None, the less, it was time to get going. She emerged from bed and called her servants. They entered and immediately fawned over her, which she took as a comfort this morning. Some times their awe and reverence would annoy her, other times it kept her going - and a time or two a week she simply prepared herself for the day. As her flowing mane was brushed out, her chamberlain Orderly entered, eager to start the early mornings task. “ Good morning, Orderly.” she said, greeting the grey earth mare. “ Good morning, your highness.” said Orderly, giving a bow. “ Princess Luna’s night went well and she invites you to breakfast. Your court has three supplicants today whom will arrive at nine.” “ And when will my nephew be arriving?” she asked, trying to sound even-toned about it. “....I do not know.” said Orderly, looking though her ledger. A frown developed on her face as she searched. “ The letter we received did not mention a time. I can produce the letter and re-read it.” “ You may.” said the Princess, standing now. Her servants bowed and backed away, their tasks complete. Celestia was now the regal monarch of the sun, with the crown jewelry and grooming that shown like her star. Glancing outside, she could see Luna’s moon dipping towards the horizon. There was fifteen minutes until she was needed, so she had time to listen to the letter. After the Grand Galloping Gala, the Princess had gone to meet the Elements of Harmony at a local donut shop and had partaken of rather a few of the confections. Intoxicated with hard sprinkles she’d written a rather passionate and rude letter to Prince Blueblood, informing him in no uncertain terms what she felt and what lay ahead for him if he did not change his ways. She hadn’t seen him over the next few days until she had been required to inquire at the Royal House of Unicorns villa to see if he’d simply partied himself to death. She’d been stunned to find it empty of the Prince - but with a number of Royal Guards sweeping it and emptying out a stunning amount of intoxicants. She’d discovered in the end he’d had his own donut machine, consumed as much beer in a night as Celestia felt she consumed in the entire sixth century, and had perhaps deforested the Everfree Forests supply of Poison Joke. She hadn’t even known you could smoke Poison Joke. The Guard explained the Prince had requested it and checked into a rehabilitation facility. She’d laughed. She knew Blueblood - such a grand gesture was a distraction from his new plan to “get blotto”. At least, she’d known that before she’d received a letter from the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Facility the next day. He’d committed to a sixty day program. He’d be kept in the facility where he would have no access to any sort of intoxicant and would be put though a number of physical and mental training programs to recover and break his addictions. “ - upon completion, which is scheduled for the last day of the fall, the applicant will be free to return to his or her home. If you feel your relative may not have willingly entered this program or fear for his or her safety, you are invited to - “ Celestia nodded and as Orderly read. She knew the letter well. She’d not gone to the facility - she’d been busy. She’d not even needed to send anypony to check - the press had found out and had a field day, at least until Discord’s attack. The interest had died off after that, with the whole of Equestria trying to move forwards and forget the episode. “ Thank you - we should proceed to the throne room.” said Celestia, walking by Orderly. Orderly put the letter back in her ledger and followed. ================ The setting of the sun and raising of the moon had gone as flawless as ever, and the Princesses were now seated at breakfast. The Royal Court of Canterlot was a sight at mealtimes. The three noble pony houses heirs - sans Unicorn - the ministers, the captains of her guard, dragons, gryphon emissaries, powerful merchants, minor nobles, all were seated. They spoke and chatted pleasantly, the precursor to a day of work and legislation. The Princess of Pegasi conferred with the Lord of Diamond Dogs about aerial gemstone scanning and the potential for growth of inter-racial work efforts. A three headed dragon spoke with the three different dukes over the trade of silver ore in their respective lands. One of the court mages produced a butterfly out of a napkin for the entertainment of the foal of the Prince of Earth Ponies. It was a warming thing to see. There was unity and fellowship, which she’d cultivated in the court for centuries. It was tragic to admit, but since the departure of Blueblood, things had been better than they had been in years. No insults, no slurs, no shouting matches - there’d been worse ponies in the court, but they were few in number. “ - and so we’ve got the problem of trying to encourage conservation of the damned plant!” laughed the Lord of the Everfree, a old, rough looking earth pony. His duties were to oversee the protection of the forest and it’s plants as a nature preserve would. “ I had to check to make sure it wasn’t Blueblood himself lobbying. Who else would want Poison Joke to keep from dying out?” “ Surely it has some uses.” said the Princess of Pegasi, taking a drink to hide her smirk. There was pride on her face - Celestia felt it was earned. Her house had never “ smoked themselves stupid”. “ Physicians claim it’s good for glaucoma, but I think they’ve sampled their product.” chortled the Lord of the Everfree. “ Speaking of Blueblood - “ It almost hurt that speaking of illegal narcotics was a natural transition to talking of the heir of the unicorns. “ - where’ve you been keeping him these three months, Princess? Last I saw of him a rather fetching apple cake had fallen on him - don’t tell me he drowned in the frosting.” “ He’s been drying his mane.” said Celestia with a little smirk. “ ....and drying out in general.” A number of raised eyebrows met her statement. “ Though, we’ll get to see if it worked. He’s due back today.” said Celestia, setting down her goblet. “ Apologies, sister.” said Luna besides her. Most of the court was now paying rapt attention - the Princess of the Night rarely spoke in public. “ But young Blueblood arrived back in the early night. Our page tells that he was seen entering his villa with haste.” “....hmm.” said Celestia, looking aside to her sister. “ That is...unusual.” “ It ‘tis?” said Luna, looking intrigued. “ We know not of the Prince of Unicorns mannerisms. How would he have comported himself normally?” “ Drunkenly crashing a carriage though a window.” said Celestia, earning a number of laughs from the assembled. “ Followed by making advanced on at least two servant mares and requesting more wine.” Luna looked shocked. “ Sister! You mustn’t joke like that!” said the star-maned mare, looking to the nobles nervously. “ Surely thou would not allow such a thing in the royal houses.” “ I have, unfortunately. It was my mistake and I’ve attempted to correct it - I requested he sober up, and he’s gone off for three months to attempt that. Whether that solves his other problems or not - “ “ Y-your highnesses.” Celestia looked up in surprise. Orderly, with a rather panicked looking Royal Guard, had entered the hall. Orderly was obviously the bearer of ill news, so Celestia rose to greet her. “ I-I am sorry to interup-put breakfast, but there is an incident unfolding on the lawn of the House of Unicorn.” “ Oh, lord, he’s passed out drunk in front of the camera again, isn’t he?” said Celestia, putting a hoof to her brown as she felt her muscles tense. “ N-No, your highness.” said Orderly, shaking her head. “ P-Prince Blueblood appears to be having a garage sale.” Celestia blinked so loudly she could hear it. =========== A short trip took Celestia and her entourage to the villa. The House of Unicorn’s home was a beautiful estate near the palace of Canterlot which shone brilliantly in the sun - it might not have had the architecture of the House of Pegasi or the gardens of the House of Earth Ponies, but the magical enhancements - magically fountains of water, birds which sung in beautiful unison any song you wished to hear, and grass that was as warm or cool to the touch as you wanted it to be - were the envy of the other houses. Today, however, a spectacle that Celestia had never seen in her life was unfolding. The lawn had been covered in tables, upon which the wealth of the family seemed to be spread. There were paintings and statues, hundreds of years of fine china, and clothes from all eras laid out under the sun. Celebrities and commoners, nobles and soldiers, all milled about, making purchases. To Celestia’s horror she saw the wedding gown of Blueblood's mother purchased by the infamous Sapphire Shores who claimed “ It just needs a few adjustments and few hundred more gemstones and I’ve got the perfect outfit for my next music video!” At least Blueblood had gotten a ransom for it. Celestia had to find him and put a stop to this. Whatever he was doing, this could not stand - she’d seen the families collections grow over the ages and wouldn’t let some petulant brat simply hand it over for bits. She forced her way through the throng, making her way to the great oaken double doors to the villa. She knew she was being watched as she levitated the knocker and have three great slams. Several moments passed before an answer came. “ My apologies, I am not feeling well.” came the quiet, but recognizable voice of Prince Blueblood. “ My page will handle all of the transactions today.” “ Blueblood! Open this door!” she commanded, speaking loudly but not bellowing. There was a loud clunk from the other side, stunning Celestia and drawing a number of gasps - had he barred the door? If so, Celestia hadn’t truly understood what an idiot he was. She could lift the sun. What was a little door going to do to stop her? She focused her magic for a moment and threw the doors open. She found Blueblood unconscious in a puddle of his own urine. TwoIt was inescapable. They’d shut down the “garage sale” immediately. Very few items had been sold, though some were damaged in the movement. But the event was notable that there had been a horde of reporters and media ponies there. It was completely impossible to cover up what had happened to the Prince of Unicorns. Newspapers. Radio programs. Letters of concern sent to the palace by those rare few who did not know yet of the Princes unpleasant nature. Celestia had been swamped since the morning by the story, a story she’d been present to witness. Now, under the cover of night, she was about to get some answers as to what had happened. The Prince had been rushed to the hospital but given a clean bill of health - at least, for him. Nopony with six venereal diseases could really get a clean bill of health. But when she’d entered the hospital room to speak with him, his pulse had skyrocketed and he’d nearly had a heart attack. The doctors had told her to stay out while they tried to figure out how to sedate him. It didn’t take her a third time to figure out that the Prince was terrified of her. With such a fact known, she needed to know of the Princes recent actions. Forgoing dinner - it would be an ugly affair, with the other Houses tittering about the indignity of the Unicorn - she’d made her way to the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Clinic. She entered under the cloak of invisibility - it wouldn’t do to simply be seen entering such a place - and made her way to the office of the head doctor, Clear Waters. “ Good evening, doctor.” she said, closing the door and fading into view. The earth mare jumped slightly, though she had been told Celestia would be coming by. “ G-good evening, your highness.” said Clear Waters, standing and bowing. She comported herself, then gestured to several files on her desk. “ I’ve assembled everything we have on the Prince. We have several of our doctors ready to speak of him if you wish, as well as interviews about him by other patients.” “....did you go to this trouble because of him, or because you do it for everypony?” asked Celestia, raising an eyebrow. “ Everypony, my Princess.” Clear Waters was polite but defensive. “ I run the best clinic in all of Equestria because some ponies need it. I speak from experience - in my youth I was addicted to Poison Joke and was in and out of a number of poorly run facilities.” “ I did not mean to cast aspersions.” said the Princess, nodding politely. “ Prince Blueblood came to us in fairly bad condition.” said Clear Waters, turning towards her work. She simply bypassed the earlier hiccup, which Celestia was grateful for. “ Most of it seemed to be stress related. He hadn’t slept in two days and was suffering from heart strain, likely from high blood pressure. This was complicated by his numerous addictions, but he was still possessing of enough mental faculties to check himself in.” “ The first week was rough. The Poison Joke withdrawal hit him quickest, but we were ready. Herbal teas with plenty of vapors were kept available at all times, giving him a mild chemical option. He transitioned into the other withdrawals with relative ease, but his sleep problems continued. Finally, we moved him to a windowless room, which decreased his issues for the first month.” “....is that standard?” asked Celestia, listening intently. “ Unusual, but not unheard of. It seemed to be a recent development as well - we think his eyes grew light sensitive as part of his withdrawal symptoms, but only to natural sunlight.” Translation - He was terrified of Celestia, meaning he was terrified of the sun. “ By the end of the first month he was doing averagely. He’d tried to bribe several guards to get him beer and tried to break into the kitchen to make a donut, but the kitchen incident ended with him stopping of his own volition and turning himself in. Thats a good sign. After which he started the physical and mental conditioning to get him able to function again. He responded well to token therapy - that is where an object is used as a stand in for the craving of ones addiction. We settled on polishing horseshoes after some experimentation - it gave him a little personal pride to finish shining them and was discrete enough to take back into the outside world.” The doctor continued, going over the problems and successes that the Prince had seen. He was having a great deal with his growing agoraphobia and sleeping problems and had gained a lot of weight - a side affect of his body no longer needing to use every calorie to fix the damage of the Poison Joke. He’d taken up long trots at night as a proper exercise to deal with his body and help repair some of the damage of his lifestyle. “ That is where we come to the bad news.” said Clear Waters, indicating a third folder. “ We performed a complete physical on him with extensive testing. I read he is in the hospital, correct?” “ Unfortunately, he had a panic attack.” said Celestia, leaving some details out. “ It pains me to say this, but get used to him being there.” said the earth mare, taking out several medical charts. “ His kidneys barely function. His liver is shot. His left lung won’t do a thing for the rest of his life but become cancerous. His heart muscles are stressed - and his cardiovascular system is stressed by the chemical shift.” Celestia was not surprised - she’d seen the damage other ponies with similar lifestyles had done to themselves. “ I’ve heard of ponies lasting a while like this, but realistically, a decade is what I’d give him.” said Clear Waters with a sigh. She sat back on her pillow. “ I’m sorry if I was to informal - “ “ It was fine.” said Celestia, shaking her head. “ You told me what I needed to know. Do you have any suggestions on how I could help him?” Clear Waters paused, obviously considering her words. This told Celestia that the doctor was more aware of the connection between Celestia and the Prince’s problems than she’d reported. “....leave him alone.” Answers like that always stung. ============= At least Luna won’t go lonely on the castle grounds at night. thought Celestia, frowning as she watched the distant form of a unicorn trot towards the Canterlot Garden Maze. It was the third night since she’d gone to the clinic and the third she’d seen the Prince on a long walk at night. She still didn’t trust him around her sister, remembering some of the looks he’d given Luna. It had been an awkward few days. The media was still enjoying the story, but no new photographs of Blueblood had appeared. He’d sent a letter by way of his page to apologize for the “garage sale”, but had informed her that he was going to sell off his collection of chariots and carriages as an alternative form of money-making. The auction was being planned for the next week and being planned as a rather high-class affair, even if nopony knew what the money was for. Celestia wondered what had gone so wrong. Her thoughts kept going back to that shivering little foal struggling with a fever. It had taken Blueblood a long time to recover from that illness, and he’d never quite seemed the same to her. Back then, he’d been tired and unfocused, which nopony had thought odd. He’d came close to death for a foal. But as time wore on, he became detached. He seemed numb. Now that she thought of it, she had a new hint she hadn’t before - apparently, one of the attractions of Poison Joke was a “pleasant numbness.” He couldn’t have started such a thing as a foal, but one never knew. Foals were tricky. But where would he have gotten such an idea in the first place? It was likely he learned of such things years later. He’d just grown from a detached little foal into a out of control stallion. There was no real rhyme or reason to the progression. She remembered hearing of the day he’d gotten his cutie mark, not long after he’d been sick. He’d been exploring the palace and gotten lost, spending several hours in a map room. When they found him, he was napping, the compass rose evident on his flank. For a few days he’d been the energetic, bright eyes prince again, until that faded back into the little unicorn who sat patiently at dinners and waited. The perfect little foal. Where was he? Celestia turned, returning to the inside of the palace. Inside, dinner had begun, with Luna presiding. Talk of the Prince had died down in court - a rare mention of his nighttime explorations, but that was it - allowing her to have a pleasant dinner. She looked to the Prince of Earth. He was talking with his wife. She looked to the Princess of Pegasi, who was debating the advantages of opening certain high thermal routes to merchant caravans. How had they turned out so well and Blueblood so badly? “ Sister, you are again vexed.” said Luna quietly as a servant brought Celestia soup. “ ‘tis Blueblood again?” “ I shouldn’t dwell on him.” apologized Celestia, testing the temperature of her dinner. It was not too hot, so she ate. “...but I do. There have been a few lost souls over the centuries I could not help and they pain me still. I...am closer to Blueblood than I would like to be. He’s been a detestable boor and for ages, but I still wish to help him.” “ We have been told he has a number of heirs.” said Luna, taking a drink. “ Illegitimate ones.” “ Amongst his crimes, that is the rankest of them.” sighed Celestia, losing her taste for dinner and setting down her spoon. “ You must have known of his affairs for some time, sister.” said Luna, her tone odd. She was probing for information. “ You must have had earlier chances to put an end to things.” “ I....did.” said Celestia, the admittance painful. She was speaking softly, so only Luna would hear. “ But I hoped he would mature. And I chose to believe some of the stories were exaggerated when they reached my ears. A dalliance with an emissaries wife might just be a rumor, a servant mare might have been an exaggeration. He was handsome enough for mares to line up for him at balls, so I’d thought little of those choices at first.” “ What of the mail mare?” asked Luna, swirling her wine her her goblet. Celestia thought for several moments, trying to think of one. “ Ah, we see that not even every instance made its ways to your ears. We have asked around discreetly - some of his less notable ....encounters....never reached you.” “ It seems not.” said the Princess with a pained sigh. “ And that is half the reason trying to aid him is so painful - there is the doubt if he deserves it.” “ We’ve met worse.” “ But rarely have I met a pony with such pointless problems.” said Celestia, straightening some. “ To err is to live. But he....he went past that.” “ It was almost like he was trying to cause a scene.” said Luna, her voice nearly silent. “....ah, you see what I do not.” said Celestia, feeling a flush of shame. Her sister, the less-perfect of the pair, had the wisdom that came from mistakes Celestia would never have. “ What should I do, sister?” Luna gave her slight smile. “ Ask him.” ==================== The night was cool on her coat. The great maze stretched out underneath her as she soared soundlessly above, searching for her lost Prince. She’d taken a favorite disguise of a sunset-orange pegasus mare with a wing cutie mark - she called the form Freedom. It was one of her little escapes, to every now and then change into a common pony and escape into the city or countryside for an hour or two. There was a strange lightness to not being herself. It thrilled her to know that nopony would bow to her if she spoke, to know that nopony would likely notice her if she flew past. She had other forms - a little filly, an aged granny, and others - for many different experiences, just so she could get out every now and then. She only rarely needed such an escape - she was happy with her life as the Princess of the Sun - but it made such a wonderful break. She spied him below, moving though a section of switchbacks. There was no purpose to his steps. When he came to a crossroads, he turned seemingly at random. She swooped closer, watching him grow as she neared. He had indeed put on some weight, but he’d also seemed to gain some muscle - the exercise must have been doing him goon. There was a weariness to his shoulders and his head hung. She’d seen ponies like this before. He seemed to sense her as she swooped down, landing a respectful distance behind. “ Hello.” he said, turning a little. His pupils widened a little in interest. “ A-are you lost?” asked Celestia, using her best Cloudsdale accent. It was brusque and informal and she added slight insecurity to make her seem concerned. “ A bit.” said the Prince, sounding sad. He looked down the channel he was walking on, eyes settling on where it split in two. “ I know the rest of the maze fairly well, so I think if I take a left turn I’ll be out of here in ten minutes. But, I might be wrong.” There was a tinge of hope in his voice during his final sentence. “ Mind if I trot with you?” Celestia asked, walking over. “ If your looking for a handsome Prince, he’s not here.” sighed Blueblood, striding forwards. “ More interested in which way turns out to be correct, actually.” she said with a defensive tone, matching his pace. “ Man, I heard you were a douche.” “ Hm.” said the Prince glumly, taking the left path. “ So they tell me.” They walked in silence for a half minute until they came to a circular meadow, a old fountain splashing under the stars in the middle. “ Knew it.” sighed the Prince. “ Left, left, right, left, and I’m done. Oh well, they’ll change the maze back up again in a few months.” “ You really know this maze.” said Celestia, rather impressed. “ You seen a map of it or something?” she asked, pointing to his cutie mark. “ No, but I rather enjoy being lost.” said Blueblood, walking off. “ And the tragic part of being lost is you eventually get found.” “....well what the hay does that mean?” she asked, trotting after her. Celestia wasn’t exaggerating her words, either - she was genuinely confused. “ I got my cutie mark for being lost.” said Blueblood, taking a right turn. “ I was exploring the palace one day at took a wrong turn. I found my way into the map room where t-the Princess stores her maps of Equestria. I had no idea where I was or how I could get back. I looked over the maps, but they were of the country, not the castle. And then I found it - one just being started. It was blank, save for a compass rose drawn on it.” He stopped at a four way intersection. “ I felt like the compass rose.” he said. It was said to the air, not to her. But she felt he meant her to hear it. “ I wasn’t anywhere. I just was. I knew I’d never be anywhere either - they were never going to find me. I’d been sick not long before then and they’d fussed over me so - they wouldn’t let me go outside for fear of pneumonia, my mother kept her eye on me constantly, and the Guard were instructed to keep the windows closes for fear of a draft giving me a cold.” Celestia remembered that order. She’d given it because it was necessary. Blueblood had been so sickly it could have killed him to catch anything stronger than a sniffle. “ And I was so happy.” said the Prince, looking to the stars. “ I was free. It didn’t matter when I got up, what I said, what I did. Nopony was there so nopony cared. So I laid down in a little sunbeam coming through a window and fell asleep - if I was going to be alone, I might as well take a nice nap so I’d have energy to explore.” He started trotting, choosing the forward path. “ They found me before I woke up. My mother didn’t let me from her side for two years after that - and while she was asleep the servants kept an eye on me. I hated it. It wasn’t until she passed away that I had any freedom. After that I could roam the castle grounds freely. I could take a carriage into town and look at all the ways out of Canterlot. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I actually left Canterlot for a month once.” Celestia stumbled and nearly fell. “ It was a simple trick. I was almost a stallion, so i’d nearly completed my magical training, and P-princess Celestia had assigned me earth ponies as guards. I simply informed them I was going to stay in my study for a day and cast a spell to make the occasional sound of a book being dropped or a yawn. I didn’t expect to get far - half the fun was going to be explaining myself when I got caught. I simply trotted out of Canterlot and into the Everfree forest.” “ You went into the Everfree alone?” Celestia was skeptical, as Blueblood was not exactly known for his bravery. “ I was unaware of the dangers at the time - I didn’t encounter any while I was there, anyway.” he said, his tone a little sing song. He was looking around, taking note of his bearings. “ The first few nights I just lay under the stars like a wayward commoner. I foraged for food, wandered randomly, and just saw what there was to see. The only company I ran into was this water dragon, and he directed me to an easy part of the river he owned to ford. I just wandered. And wandered. Lost.” “ Who caught you?” Celestia was surprised she’d never heard of this, but losing a Prince for a month was something she couldn’t blame the guards for being embarrassed about. “ Nopony.” “ ....so why did you come back?” “ Poison Joke.” laughed Blueblood. “ It’s been all over the news that I’m rather fond of it. Had I my way, I’d have partaken today. It’s my revenge, you see. I’ve it hadn’t cursed me when I walked though it, I wouldn’t have wandered back into Canterlot. I’m not even sure how how I got there - every turn seemed to take me leaps and bounds closer. And then I was back, and the guard ponies still hadn’t noticed.” “....really.” said Celestia, thinking her soldiers were better trained than rocks. “ You see, I don’t do anything.” said the Prince with a sigh. “ So there isn’t anything for me to be missed for. Oh, I could make donations to a magical university or study some ancient enchantment long forgotten, but who cares. There’s this unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, personal student...of...Celestia. She’s ten times the mage any unicorn has any right to be. Why compete against that? I already hate being here. I might as well not put effort into anything that will just end in me becoming even more irrelevant to the world.” “ ...so you like being lost....but don’t want to be irrelevant?” “ No. I like being lost because then, I’m the center of the world.” Even at his most vulnerable, he was self centered. Even at his weakest and most open, he was still flawed. It was like he’d taken the seed of some childish thought and let it grow over him. “ Then what’s with the parties, drugs, and mares?” she asked, walking in front of him. “....boredom, I guess.” said the Prince with a shrug. “ Same as anypony.” Celestia was growing angry. “ You mean to tell me you’ve sired a dozen foals, caused dozens of scandals, ruined the name of your house, all over boredom?” she bellowed, growing louder as she did. “ Did it never cross your mind that you could have told somepony? Did it never cross your mind that Celestia might have-” “ Cared?” snarled Blueblood, glaring at her. “ Like that old mare cares about anything but a DAMN PERFECT COUNTRY! She’s got the whole world under her damn hoof! She’s got everypony trained and bred to do whatever she wants them to do! The Royal Houses are pointless - we live, breed, and die just to be perfect little dolls in her castle!” “ I DON”T JUST WANT PERFECT PONIES!” she shouted, losing control of herself. “ I JUST WANT EVERYPONY TO BE HAPPY! AND EVEN NOW, I CARE! YOU’VE HURT SO MANY, BUT I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU!” The anger in the princes eyes had changed to terror in an instant. He shied backwards, tripping over his own hooves as he backed away, bowing reflexively. “ D-don’t-” She began to call out, but he panicked an ran. He tore down the path of the palace maze, galloping and gasping in breathless terror. Celestia could have followed him - with wings, she was far faster than he. But it was pointless. It would serve nothing. All he wanted was to be lost. ThreeIn the years of Blueblood's tenure, the House of Unicorns had experienced little positive development. Scandals and rumors had been become the norm, with the Prince slowly growing more and more out of control. His disappearance had been seen by many as a relief, his return as a spectacle. But nopony could deny that Blueblood now had at least one good work to his name. The auction had been a monumental success - the tales of the garage sale had prompted many to come by and see what was to be offered. Carriages and chariots, both the Houses’s collection and Blueblood's excessive fleet, were auctioned for charity - in this case, every bit went towards Clear Waters rehabilitation center. The near legendary damages to Canterlot after the last Gala? 16 million bits to repair. The amount donated to the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Center? 83 million bits. It was a sum that seemed a joke. A dozen of the richest dragons would struggle to put together such a sum. It was almost an embarrassment that such a sum could be raised from the House of Unicorns simply selling off a few assets, but nopony could deny that it was a grand gesture. There was, of course, a dark spot on the whole affair. Blueblood had locked himself in his bedroom in the villa, only communicating by note though the mailslot and taking all his meals though the dumbwaiter. He refused to allow any servants or guards inside. The media seemed conflicted on how to report this - here was a pony making the single largest financial donation in Equestrian history and he was a scandalous twit who’d suffered some sort of drug-related breakdown, become a recluse, and if rumor was to be believed, shouted at the beloved Princess Celestia herself in a fit of mad rage. Knowing the truth to the papers guesswork didn’t ease Celestia at all. To their credit, none of the nobles had asked what had happened several nights ago. They’d heard the shouting, but knew it was a tender subject. Celestia had confided in Luna the entire tale, feeling physically sickened by the ordeal. What was worst about the situation is that while she felt more sympathy for the Prince, she felt angrier at Blueblood as well. He thought of the mares he had bedded and scandals he had caused as casually as Discord would think about making it rain chocolate. There was no remorse. No empathy. Not even a flicker of admittance that it could have gone differently. And his reason for it all? He wanted to go play. He was childish. Pathetic. Below contempt. He was a grown stallion behaving like a foal, throwing a years long temper tantrum. It was sick and monstrous at the same time that it made her want to tell him that it was okay, that things would get better. She was at the end of her options. She didn’t know what to do at this point. She knew how to rule, how to care, how to guide. She’d tried all of those things. She’d given him a thousand chances to improve. She had nothing more to give him. Generosity had been his last true chance. Rarity was one of those sparkling gems in the world. She was a mare who wanted it all but would give it up to help a stranger. She was kind and caring but held herself high and pursued her dreams. She worked hard and gave freely. She should have at least shown the Prince what Celestia wanted him to be. Now she served only as a mirror to how much Celestia hated the Prince and she felt horror at thinking she’d once hoped the Element and the Prince would grow closer. Rarity deserved better. But she couldn’t forget that little foal, shivering in the dark. “ Manehattan will be fine, then.” she said, accepting the proposition by the cities mayor for the town to be the center of an upcoming festival. It was her last decision of the morning, with lunch ahead of her. She was hungry. She’d lost her appetite enough lately to make her a little ravenous the last few meals, so she hurried her trot a little on the way to the dining hall. She was one of the first there and took her place. It was midday, so Luna was fast asleep. She would have loved her sisters company. “ Bread and a fresh salad to start.” she said, instructing her servant. “ Then...oh, some hay fries with rosemary and, if there is any left, a slice of that delicious pie we had last night. If not, any pie or cake will be fine.” “ Your majesty.” said the servant with a bow, galloping off. “ Granny! Wonderful to see, it’s been ages, hasn’t it?” Celestia’s eyes bugged. Cantering into the hall past a number of stunned looking nobles was Blueblood, his pose comported with pomp and head held high. His hair was immaculate and flowing, his face smarmy and confident, and his suit tacky and out of date. He took a seat a ways from her and rudely called for the servants, ordering a obscene amount of food immediately. “ Ah, but it shall be so nice to tuck in today!” he laughed, his tone hearty. He sounded like he had months ago, carefree and bold. “ I had a rather busy morning - I had the guards fly me all the way to the Everfree, you know. I suppose I could have gone to one of my usual sources, but Poison Joke is just so much more effective when freshly picked.” “ Prince Blueblood!” shouted Celestia, getting to her feet. From the doorway the rest of the court watched in stunned silence. “ How dare you enter this hall and brag of such things!” “ Ah, but you’d missed it so!” he guffawed. A servant arrived with a candied apple, which he took an obscene bite, chomping it down messily. “ The court had - oh, and the poor newspapers, what would they be without me to keep the front page filled? Nothing, that’s the answer.” “....are you...” Celestia searched for the term. She glanced to a guard, who mouthed it. “ Are you ‘high’, Prince Blueblood?” “ As a pair of griffons in rut!” laughed the prince, apple and caramel spilling on his suit. “ Ah, you’ve ordered fries I see. Mind if I have a few?” “ Why would you do this to yourself, Prince?” Celestia’s anger was boiling over, but she was still trying to keep herself from exploding. “ The only progress you’d made was in cleaning yourself up!” “ And it didn’t do a damn thing - oh, but this is delicious!” Another servant arrived, leaving a tray of imported leaves. “ This should last me a while, so try and keep out of the line of fire, would you?” he said, looking to the servant and giving the mare a little pat on the cheek. “ As I was saying, Granny, it didn’t do a damn thing. I felt like crap, the papers still obsessed over me, and you were just as unhappy with me as you’d ever been. The whole court knew it - you guard your tongue faaar more than that darling little sister of yours!” Celestia could only sputter in shock. “ So, I decided it was all pointless.” said the prince with a sigh, taking a mouthful of leaves and chewing them while he spoke. “ I’ve given up. Take away my title, like you threatened in the letter. No, better yet, tell the Guard they have to take a Joke-head like me into their ranks! Oh, that’ll be a hoot. Better yet, give me the whammy. Give me the big one! SEND ME TO THE MOON!” As he spoke he leapt up, sending the table toppling over and pointing to the sky. He then fell about laughing. “ See, I can’t be what you want me to be.” said the Prince, wiping a tear from his eye as he caught his breath. “ I’m not that pony. I don’t know who this - “ he stopped to draw the letter she’d written him from his pocket with magic, levitating it in front of him. “ - bright eyes foal who listened to your stories of dragons is. I think he died when he had that fever. Then I think his body walked to that map room I told you about and fell asleep. That’s me, the little lost colt who got woken up.” “ What are you trying to do here.” It was not a statement so much as a command for an answer. Celestia was livid, glaring at him. “ I was rather hoping I’d make you mad enough to kill me.” said the Prince in a sing-song voice. A moment later, he’d been turned to stone. ====================== Celestia simply stared at the smug face of Prince Blueblood as he stood on the pedestal in the garden. She’d taken him outside almost immediately. The court, in fear, had fled her presence. It had happened before. But it had never happened like this - if she had to deal with a pony, they were out of control and needed to be stopped. The Prince had set himself up for this. He’s mocked her. He’d mocked Canterlot. He’d spat in the faces of his family, his ancestors, and everything the Unicorns had stood for. He was back to his dangerous bingeing ways. If she’d left him loose, he’d like had tried to have his way with a servant mare or some such thing to anger her more. He was out of control. He was beyond redemption. The clatter of hooves told her that her letter had already been heeded. “ Princess!” cried the ever-faithful Twilight Sparkle, leading the charge into the sun-lit gardens. The other elements of harmony were with her, as was Princess Luna, looking alert and worried. From the windows nearby, nobles and servants watched in curiosity. “ We came as fast as we could when Spike got your letter!” “ Thank you, my beloved student.” said Celestia, struggling slightly to keep her voice in check. “ And thank each of you for coming. I’m afraid we have a rather unpleasant task ahead of us.” “ It don’t involve buckin’ that statue to the dump, does it?” asked Applejack, gesturing to Prince Blueblood. “ No offense, ma’am, but why’d you waste good stone on a rotten apple like that?” “ I turned him to stone in anger.” said Celestia sadly. The mares - even Rarity - gasped. “ And it pains me to say I had a good reason to. The Prince of Unicorns....is beyond my help. You may know of his self destructive habits, but he is quickly falling into being purely destructive.” “....so, are we going to try to help you find the good in him?” asked Fluttershy, looking to the statue. She seemed nervous about staring at it and looked away. “....I-I hope you are.” said Celestia, looking to the ground sadly. “ He is beyond my help. He’s lost and happy there - self centered and proud of it - and in general, rather monstrous. I-I don’t know how to fix him.” “ Well, lets try blasting him with the Elements of Harmony!” said Pinkie Pie excitedly, hopping up. “ That worked with Nightmare Moon - oh, hey, look! She’s here! Hey Moony! And it’s what we always do around this time, blast stuff with friendship!” “ That was my plan.” replied Celestia, smiling slightly. Pinkie had the most bizarrely infectious attitude. “ I’m not sure it will do anything - the Elements are magic beyond my understanding - “ “ And it may harm him worse than anything he could do himself.” said Luna, stepping forwards. “ Sister, are you sure you should do this? However bad he may be....the Elements cannot solve every problem.” “ I-I just can’t think of anything else.” said Celestia, her head falling. She couldn’t hold herself back anymore - she was crying. Frustration and sorrow alike, both emotions dripped from her as she fell to her haunches. “ I just can’t help him. Everything I do makes it worse. And he j-just keeps f-f-falling further away.” “ Sister-” said Luna, nuzzling Celestia to try and comfort her. “ I promised his parents.” she sobbed. “ He was sick with a fever and they were needed for a treaty with the diamond dogs. He was sick and I promised I would take care of him. I could feel his burning, I could feel him struggle so hard to breath. I was so afraid he’d die there, die in the dark, alone from his parents. W-when he didn’t die...I-I’ve never seen anything so sad, so miserable, so weak. When he got better I did everything to help keep him safe. And it all turned out wrong. I kept him alive at the cost of him living. He became this twisted little thing that grew, lashing out in pain, and I promised I’d take care of him.” She fell to the ground, struggling to choke out her words. “ I-I’ve just lost so many over the years. Ponies I couldn’t help. Ponies I couldn’t save. Ponies I ruined. It hurts me, every time I think of them. And Blueblood....he’s never been anything but that shivering little foal in my eyes.” And then, the world was silent.
OneCelestia awoke. The simple action was as wonderful as anything in her life. For a thousand years, she’d gone without sleep - it wasn’t necessary to an Alicorn, but it was highly refreshing - but with her sisters return, she’d been able to rest almost every night for a year and a half. But as consciousness filled her brain, she frowned. She knew what today was. And what it could be. It was either going to be one that restored her faith in a particular pony or ratified her unfortunate notion that he was beyond saving. None, the less, it was time to get going. She emerged from bed and called her servants. They entered and immediately fawned over her, which she took as a comfort this morning. Some times their awe and reverence would annoy her, other times it kept her going - and a time or two a week she simply prepared herself for the day. As her flowing mane was brushed out, her chamberlain Orderly entered, eager to start the early mornings task. “ Good morning, Orderly.” she said, greeting the grey earth mare. “ Good morning, your highness.” said Orderly, giving a bow. “ Princess Luna’s night went well and she invites you to breakfast. Your court has three supplicants today whom will arrive at nine.” “ And when will my nephew be arriving?” she asked, trying to sound even-toned about it. “....I do not know.” said Orderly, looking though her ledger. A frown developed on her face as she searched. “ The letter we received did not mention a time. I can produce the letter and re-read it.” “ You may.” said the Princess, standing now. Her servants bowed and backed away, their tasks complete. Celestia was now the regal monarch of the sun, with the crown jewelry and grooming that shown like her star. Glancing outside, she could see Luna’s moon dipping towards the horizon. There was fifteen minutes until she was needed, so she had time to listen to the letter. After the Grand Galloping Gala, the Princess had gone to meet the Elements of Harmony at a local donut shop and had partaken of rather a few of the confections. Intoxicated with hard sprinkles she’d written a rather passionate and rude letter to Prince Blueblood, informing him in no uncertain terms what she felt and what lay ahead for him if he did not change his ways. She hadn’t seen him over the next few days until she had been required to inquire at the Royal House of Unicorns villa to see if he’d simply partied himself to death. She’d been stunned to find it empty of the Prince - but with a number of Royal Guards sweeping it and emptying out a stunning amount of intoxicants. She’d discovered in the end he’d had his own donut machine, consumed as much beer in a night as Celestia felt she consumed in the entire sixth century, and had perhaps deforested the Everfree Forests supply of Poison Joke. She hadn’t even known you could smoke Poison Joke. The Guard explained the Prince had requested it and checked into a rehabilitation facility. She’d laughed. She knew Blueblood - such a grand gesture was a distraction from his new plan to “get blotto”. At least, she’d known that before she’d received a letter from the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Facility the next day. He’d committed to a sixty day program. He’d be kept in the facility where he would have no access to any sort of intoxicant and would be put though a number of physical and mental training programs to recover and break his addictions. “ - upon completion, which is scheduled for the last day of the fall, the applicant will be free to return to his or her home. If you feel your relative may not have willingly entered this program or fear for his or her safety, you are invited to - “ Celestia nodded and as Orderly read. She knew the letter well. She’d not gone to the facility - she’d been busy. She’d not even needed to send anypony to check - the press had found out and had a field day, at least until Discord’s attack. The interest had died off after that, with the whole of Equestria trying to move forwards and forget the episode. “ Thank you - we should proceed to the throne room.” said Celestia, walking by Orderly. Orderly put the letter back in her ledger and followed. ================ The setting of the sun and raising of the moon had gone as flawless as ever, and the Princesses were now seated at breakfast. The Royal Court of Canterlot was a sight at mealtimes. The three noble pony houses heirs - sans Unicorn - the ministers, the captains of her guard, dragons, gryphon emissaries, powerful merchants, minor nobles, all were seated. They spoke and chatted pleasantly, the precursor to a day of work and legislation. The Princess of Pegasi conferred with the Lord of Diamond Dogs about aerial gemstone scanning and the potential for growth of inter-racial work efforts. A three headed dragon spoke with the three different dukes over the trade of silver ore in their respective lands. One of the court mages produced a butterfly out of a napkin for the entertainment of the foal of the Prince of Earth Ponies. It was a warming thing to see. There was unity and fellowship, which she’d cultivated in the court for centuries. It was tragic to admit, but since the departure of Blueblood, things had been better than they had been in years. No insults, no slurs, no shouting matches - there’d been worse ponies in the court, but they were few in number. “ - and so we’ve got the problem of trying to encourage conservation of the damned plant!” laughed the Lord of the Everfree, a old, rough looking earth pony. His duties were to oversee the protection of the forest and it’s plants as a nature preserve would. “ I had to check to make sure it wasn’t Blueblood himself lobbying. Who else would want Poison Joke to keep from dying out?” “ Surely it has some uses.” said the Princess of Pegasi, taking a drink to hide her smirk. There was pride on her face - Celestia felt it was earned. Her house had never “ smoked themselves stupid”. “ Physicians claim it’s good for glaucoma, but I think they’ve sampled their product.” chortled the Lord of the Everfree. “ Speaking of Blueblood - “ It almost hurt that speaking of illegal narcotics was a natural transition to talking of the heir of the unicorns. “ - where’ve you been keeping him these three months, Princess? Last I saw of him a rather fetching apple cake had fallen on him - don’t tell me he drowned in the frosting.” “ He’s been drying his mane.” said Celestia with a little smirk. “ ....and drying out in general.” A number of raised eyebrows met her statement. “ Though, we’ll get to see if it worked. He’s due back today.” said Celestia, setting down her goblet. “ Apologies, sister.” said Luna besides her. Most of the court was now paying rapt attention - the Princess of the Night rarely spoke in public. “ But young Blueblood arrived back in the early night. Our page tells that he was seen entering his villa with haste.” “....hmm.” said Celestia, looking aside to her sister. “ That is...unusual.” “ It ‘tis?” said Luna, looking intrigued. “ We know not of the Prince of Unicorns mannerisms. How would he have comported himself normally?” “ Drunkenly crashing a carriage though a window.” said Celestia, earning a number of laughs from the assembled. “ Followed by making advanced on at least two servant mares and requesting more wine.” Luna looked shocked. “ Sister! You mustn’t joke like that!” said the star-maned mare, looking to the nobles nervously. “ Surely thou would not allow such a thing in the royal houses.” “ I have, unfortunately. It was my mistake and I’ve attempted to correct it - I requested he sober up, and he’s gone off for three months to attempt that. Whether that solves his other problems or not - “ “ Y-your highnesses.” Celestia looked up in surprise. Orderly, with a rather panicked looking Royal Guard, had entered the hall. Orderly was obviously the bearer of ill news, so Celestia rose to greet her. “ I-I am sorry to interup-put breakfast, but there is an incident unfolding on the lawn of the House of Unicorn.” “ Oh, lord, he’s passed out drunk in front of the camera again, isn’t he?” said Celestia, putting a hoof to her brown as she felt her muscles tense. “ N-No, your highness.” said Orderly, shaking her head. “ P-Prince Blueblood appears to be having a garage sale.” Celestia blinked so loudly she could hear it. =========== A short trip took Celestia and her entourage to the villa. The House of Unicorn’s home was a beautiful estate near the palace of Canterlot which shone brilliantly in the sun - it might not have had the architecture of the House of Pegasi or the gardens of the House of Earth Ponies, but the magical enhancements - magically fountains of water, birds which sung in beautiful unison any song you wished to hear, and grass that was as warm or cool to the touch as you wanted it to be - were the envy of the other houses. Today, however, a spectacle that Celestia had never seen in her life was unfolding. The lawn had been covered in tables, upon which the wealth of the family seemed to be spread. There were paintings and statues, hundreds of years of fine china, and clothes from all eras laid out under the sun. Celebrities and commoners, nobles and soldiers, all milled about, making purchases. To Celestia’s horror she saw the wedding gown of Blueblood's mother purchased by the infamous Sapphire Shores who claimed “ It just needs a few adjustments and few hundred more gemstones and I’ve got the perfect outfit for my next music video!” At least Blueblood had gotten a ransom for it. Celestia had to find him and put a stop to this. Whatever he was doing, this could not stand - she’d seen the families collections grow over the ages and wouldn’t let some petulant brat simply hand it over for bits. She forced her way through the throng, making her way to the great oaken double doors to the villa. She knew she was being watched as she levitated the knocker and have three great slams. Several moments passed before an answer came. “ My apologies, I am not feeling well.” came the quiet, but recognizable voice of Prince Blueblood. “ My page will handle all of the transactions today.” “ Blueblood! Open this door!” she commanded, speaking loudly but not bellowing. There was a loud clunk from the other side, stunning Celestia and drawing a number of gasps - had he barred the door? If so, Celestia hadn’t truly understood what an idiot he was. She could lift the sun. What was a little door going to do to stop her? She focused her magic for a moment and threw the doors open. She found Blueblood unconscious in a puddle of his own urine.
TwoIt was inescapable. They’d shut down the “garage sale” immediately. Very few items had been sold, though some were damaged in the movement. But the event was notable that there had been a horde of reporters and media ponies there. It was completely impossible to cover up what had happened to the Prince of Unicorns. Newspapers. Radio programs. Letters of concern sent to the palace by those rare few who did not know yet of the Princes unpleasant nature. Celestia had been swamped since the morning by the story, a story she’d been present to witness. Now, under the cover of night, she was about to get some answers as to what had happened. The Prince had been rushed to the hospital but given a clean bill of health - at least, for him. Nopony with six venereal diseases could really get a clean bill of health. But when she’d entered the hospital room to speak with him, his pulse had skyrocketed and he’d nearly had a heart attack. The doctors had told her to stay out while they tried to figure out how to sedate him. It didn’t take her a third time to figure out that the Prince was terrified of her. With such a fact known, she needed to know of the Princes recent actions. Forgoing dinner - it would be an ugly affair, with the other Houses tittering about the indignity of the Unicorn - she’d made her way to the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Clinic. She entered under the cloak of invisibility - it wouldn’t do to simply be seen entering such a place - and made her way to the office of the head doctor, Clear Waters. “ Good evening, doctor.” she said, closing the door and fading into view. The earth mare jumped slightly, though she had been told Celestia would be coming by. “ G-good evening, your highness.” said Clear Waters, standing and bowing. She comported herself, then gestured to several files on her desk. “ I’ve assembled everything we have on the Prince. We have several of our doctors ready to speak of him if you wish, as well as interviews about him by other patients.” “....did you go to this trouble because of him, or because you do it for everypony?” asked Celestia, raising an eyebrow. “ Everypony, my Princess.” Clear Waters was polite but defensive. “ I run the best clinic in all of Equestria because some ponies need it. I speak from experience - in my youth I was addicted to Poison Joke and was in and out of a number of poorly run facilities.” “ I did not mean to cast aspersions.” said the Princess, nodding politely. “ Prince Blueblood came to us in fairly bad condition.” said Clear Waters, turning towards her work. She simply bypassed the earlier hiccup, which Celestia was grateful for. “ Most of it seemed to be stress related. He hadn’t slept in two days and was suffering from heart strain, likely from high blood pressure. This was complicated by his numerous addictions, but he was still possessing of enough mental faculties to check himself in.” “ The first week was rough. The Poison Joke withdrawal hit him quickest, but we were ready. Herbal teas with plenty of vapors were kept available at all times, giving him a mild chemical option. He transitioned into the other withdrawals with relative ease, but his sleep problems continued. Finally, we moved him to a windowless room, which decreased his issues for the first month.” “....is that standard?” asked Celestia, listening intently. “ Unusual, but not unheard of. It seemed to be a recent development as well - we think his eyes grew light sensitive as part of his withdrawal symptoms, but only to natural sunlight.” Translation - He was terrified of Celestia, meaning he was terrified of the sun. “ By the end of the first month he was doing averagely. He’d tried to bribe several guards to get him beer and tried to break into the kitchen to make a donut, but the kitchen incident ended with him stopping of his own volition and turning himself in. Thats a good sign. After which he started the physical and mental conditioning to get him able to function again. He responded well to token therapy - that is where an object is used as a stand in for the craving of ones addiction. We settled on polishing horseshoes after some experimentation - it gave him a little personal pride to finish shining them and was discrete enough to take back into the outside world.” The doctor continued, going over the problems and successes that the Prince had seen. He was having a great deal with his growing agoraphobia and sleeping problems and had gained a lot of weight - a side affect of his body no longer needing to use every calorie to fix the damage of the Poison Joke. He’d taken up long trots at night as a proper exercise to deal with his body and help repair some of the damage of his lifestyle. “ That is where we come to the bad news.” said Clear Waters, indicating a third folder. “ We performed a complete physical on him with extensive testing. I read he is in the hospital, correct?” “ Unfortunately, he had a panic attack.” said Celestia, leaving some details out. “ It pains me to say this, but get used to him being there.” said the earth mare, taking out several medical charts. “ His kidneys barely function. His liver is shot. His left lung won’t do a thing for the rest of his life but become cancerous. His heart muscles are stressed - and his cardiovascular system is stressed by the chemical shift.” Celestia was not surprised - she’d seen the damage other ponies with similar lifestyles had done to themselves. “ I’ve heard of ponies lasting a while like this, but realistically, a decade is what I’d give him.” said Clear Waters with a sigh. She sat back on her pillow. “ I’m sorry if I was to informal - “ “ It was fine.” said Celestia, shaking her head. “ You told me what I needed to know. Do you have any suggestions on how I could help him?” Clear Waters paused, obviously considering her words. This told Celestia that the doctor was more aware of the connection between Celestia and the Prince’s problems than she’d reported. “....leave him alone.” Answers like that always stung. ============= At least Luna won’t go lonely on the castle grounds at night. thought Celestia, frowning as she watched the distant form of a unicorn trot towards the Canterlot Garden Maze. It was the third night since she’d gone to the clinic and the third she’d seen the Prince on a long walk at night. She still didn’t trust him around her sister, remembering some of the looks he’d given Luna. It had been an awkward few days. The media was still enjoying the story, but no new photographs of Blueblood had appeared. He’d sent a letter by way of his page to apologize for the “garage sale”, but had informed her that he was going to sell off his collection of chariots and carriages as an alternative form of money-making. The auction was being planned for the next week and being planned as a rather high-class affair, even if nopony knew what the money was for. Celestia wondered what had gone so wrong. Her thoughts kept going back to that shivering little foal struggling with a fever. It had taken Blueblood a long time to recover from that illness, and he’d never quite seemed the same to her. Back then, he’d been tired and unfocused, which nopony had thought odd. He’d came close to death for a foal. But as time wore on, he became detached. He seemed numb. Now that she thought of it, she had a new hint she hadn’t before - apparently, one of the attractions of Poison Joke was a “pleasant numbness.” He couldn’t have started such a thing as a foal, but one never knew. Foals were tricky. But where would he have gotten such an idea in the first place? It was likely he learned of such things years later. He’d just grown from a detached little foal into a out of control stallion. There was no real rhyme or reason to the progression. She remembered hearing of the day he’d gotten his cutie mark, not long after he’d been sick. He’d been exploring the palace and gotten lost, spending several hours in a map room. When they found him, he was napping, the compass rose evident on his flank. For a few days he’d been the energetic, bright eyes prince again, until that faded back into the little unicorn who sat patiently at dinners and waited. The perfect little foal. Where was he? Celestia turned, returning to the inside of the palace. Inside, dinner had begun, with Luna presiding. Talk of the Prince had died down in court - a rare mention of his nighttime explorations, but that was it - allowing her to have a pleasant dinner. She looked to the Prince of Earth. He was talking with his wife. She looked to the Princess of Pegasi, who was debating the advantages of opening certain high thermal routes to merchant caravans. How had they turned out so well and Blueblood so badly? “ Sister, you are again vexed.” said Luna quietly as a servant brought Celestia soup. “ ‘tis Blueblood again?” “ I shouldn’t dwell on him.” apologized Celestia, testing the temperature of her dinner. It was not too hot, so she ate. “...but I do. There have been a few lost souls over the centuries I could not help and they pain me still. I...am closer to Blueblood than I would like to be. He’s been a detestable boor and for ages, but I still wish to help him.” “ We have been told he has a number of heirs.” said Luna, taking a drink. “ Illegitimate ones.” “ Amongst his crimes, that is the rankest of them.” sighed Celestia, losing her taste for dinner and setting down her spoon. “ You must have known of his affairs for some time, sister.” said Luna, her tone odd. She was probing for information. “ You must have had earlier chances to put an end to things.” “ I....did.” said Celestia, the admittance painful. She was speaking softly, so only Luna would hear. “ But I hoped he would mature. And I chose to believe some of the stories were exaggerated when they reached my ears. A dalliance with an emissaries wife might just be a rumor, a servant mare might have been an exaggeration. He was handsome enough for mares to line up for him at balls, so I’d thought little of those choices at first.” “ What of the mail mare?” asked Luna, swirling her wine her her goblet. Celestia thought for several moments, trying to think of one. “ Ah, we see that not even every instance made its ways to your ears. We have asked around discreetly - some of his less notable ....encounters....never reached you.” “ It seems not.” said the Princess with a pained sigh. “ And that is half the reason trying to aid him is so painful - there is the doubt if he deserves it.” “ We’ve met worse.” “ But rarely have I met a pony with such pointless problems.” said Celestia, straightening some. “ To err is to live. But he....he went past that.” “ It was almost like he was trying to cause a scene.” said Luna, her voice nearly silent. “....ah, you see what I do not.” said Celestia, feeling a flush of shame. Her sister, the less-perfect of the pair, had the wisdom that came from mistakes Celestia would never have. “ What should I do, sister?” Luna gave her slight smile. “ Ask him.” ==================== The night was cool on her coat. The great maze stretched out underneath her as she soared soundlessly above, searching for her lost Prince. She’d taken a favorite disguise of a sunset-orange pegasus mare with a wing cutie mark - she called the form Freedom. It was one of her little escapes, to every now and then change into a common pony and escape into the city or countryside for an hour or two. There was a strange lightness to not being herself. It thrilled her to know that nopony would bow to her if she spoke, to know that nopony would likely notice her if she flew past. She had other forms - a little filly, an aged granny, and others - for many different experiences, just so she could get out every now and then. She only rarely needed such an escape - she was happy with her life as the Princess of the Sun - but it made such a wonderful break. She spied him below, moving though a section of switchbacks. There was no purpose to his steps. When he came to a crossroads, he turned seemingly at random. She swooped closer, watching him grow as she neared. He had indeed put on some weight, but he’d also seemed to gain some muscle - the exercise must have been doing him goon. There was a weariness to his shoulders and his head hung. She’d seen ponies like this before. He seemed to sense her as she swooped down, landing a respectful distance behind. “ Hello.” he said, turning a little. His pupils widened a little in interest. “ A-are you lost?” asked Celestia, using her best Cloudsdale accent. It was brusque and informal and she added slight insecurity to make her seem concerned. “ A bit.” said the Prince, sounding sad. He looked down the channel he was walking on, eyes settling on where it split in two. “ I know the rest of the maze fairly well, so I think if I take a left turn I’ll be out of here in ten minutes. But, I might be wrong.” There was a tinge of hope in his voice during his final sentence. “ Mind if I trot with you?” Celestia asked, walking over. “ If your looking for a handsome Prince, he’s not here.” sighed Blueblood, striding forwards. “ More interested in which way turns out to be correct, actually.” she said with a defensive tone, matching his pace. “ Man, I heard you were a douche.” “ Hm.” said the Prince glumly, taking the left path. “ So they tell me.” They walked in silence for a half minute until they came to a circular meadow, a old fountain splashing under the stars in the middle. “ Knew it.” sighed the Prince. “ Left, left, right, left, and I’m done. Oh well, they’ll change the maze back up again in a few months.” “ You really know this maze.” said Celestia, rather impressed. “ You seen a map of it or something?” she asked, pointing to his cutie mark. “ No, but I rather enjoy being lost.” said Blueblood, walking off. “ And the tragic part of being lost is you eventually get found.” “....well what the hay does that mean?” she asked, trotting after her. Celestia wasn’t exaggerating her words, either - she was genuinely confused. “ I got my cutie mark for being lost.” said Blueblood, taking a right turn. “ I was exploring the palace one day at took a wrong turn. I found my way into the map room where t-the Princess stores her maps of Equestria. I had no idea where I was or how I could get back. I looked over the maps, but they were of the country, not the castle. And then I found it - one just being started. It was blank, save for a compass rose drawn on it.” He stopped at a four way intersection. “ I felt like the compass rose.” he said. It was said to the air, not to her. But she felt he meant her to hear it. “ I wasn’t anywhere. I just was. I knew I’d never be anywhere either - they were never going to find me. I’d been sick not long before then and they’d fussed over me so - they wouldn’t let me go outside for fear of pneumonia, my mother kept her eye on me constantly, and the Guard were instructed to keep the windows closes for fear of a draft giving me a cold.” Celestia remembered that order. She’d given it because it was necessary. Blueblood had been so sickly it could have killed him to catch anything stronger than a sniffle. “ And I was so happy.” said the Prince, looking to the stars. “ I was free. It didn’t matter when I got up, what I said, what I did. Nopony was there so nopony cared. So I laid down in a little sunbeam coming through a window and fell asleep - if I was going to be alone, I might as well take a nice nap so I’d have energy to explore.” He started trotting, choosing the forward path. “ They found me before I woke up. My mother didn’t let me from her side for two years after that - and while she was asleep the servants kept an eye on me. I hated it. It wasn’t until she passed away that I had any freedom. After that I could roam the castle grounds freely. I could take a carriage into town and look at all the ways out of Canterlot. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I actually left Canterlot for a month once.” Celestia stumbled and nearly fell. “ It was a simple trick. I was almost a stallion, so i’d nearly completed my magical training, and P-princess Celestia had assigned me earth ponies as guards. I simply informed them I was going to stay in my study for a day and cast a spell to make the occasional sound of a book being dropped or a yawn. I didn’t expect to get far - half the fun was going to be explaining myself when I got caught. I simply trotted out of Canterlot and into the Everfree forest.” “ You went into the Everfree alone?” Celestia was skeptical, as Blueblood was not exactly known for his bravery. “ I was unaware of the dangers at the time - I didn’t encounter any while I was there, anyway.” he said, his tone a little sing song. He was looking around, taking note of his bearings. “ The first few nights I just lay under the stars like a wayward commoner. I foraged for food, wandered randomly, and just saw what there was to see. The only company I ran into was this water dragon, and he directed me to an easy part of the river he owned to ford. I just wandered. And wandered. Lost.” “ Who caught you?” Celestia was surprised she’d never heard of this, but losing a Prince for a month was something she couldn’t blame the guards for being embarrassed about. “ Nopony.” “ ....so why did you come back?” “ Poison Joke.” laughed Blueblood. “ It’s been all over the news that I’m rather fond of it. Had I my way, I’d have partaken today. It’s my revenge, you see. I’ve it hadn’t cursed me when I walked though it, I wouldn’t have wandered back into Canterlot. I’m not even sure how how I got there - every turn seemed to take me leaps and bounds closer. And then I was back, and the guard ponies still hadn’t noticed.” “....really.” said Celestia, thinking her soldiers were better trained than rocks. “ You see, I don’t do anything.” said the Prince with a sigh. “ So there isn’t anything for me to be missed for. Oh, I could make donations to a magical university or study some ancient enchantment long forgotten, but who cares. There’s this unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, personal student...of...Celestia. She’s ten times the mage any unicorn has any right to be. Why compete against that? I already hate being here. I might as well not put effort into anything that will just end in me becoming even more irrelevant to the world.” “ ...so you like being lost....but don’t want to be irrelevant?” “ No. I like being lost because then, I’m the center of the world.” Even at his most vulnerable, he was self centered. Even at his weakest and most open, he was still flawed. It was like he’d taken the seed of some childish thought and let it grow over him. “ Then what’s with the parties, drugs, and mares?” she asked, walking in front of him. “....boredom, I guess.” said the Prince with a shrug. “ Same as anypony.” Celestia was growing angry. “ You mean to tell me you’ve sired a dozen foals, caused dozens of scandals, ruined the name of your house, all over boredom?” she bellowed, growing louder as she did. “ Did it never cross your mind that you could have told somepony? Did it never cross your mind that Celestia might have-” “ Cared?” snarled Blueblood, glaring at her. “ Like that old mare cares about anything but a DAMN PERFECT COUNTRY! She’s got the whole world under her damn hoof! She’s got everypony trained and bred to do whatever she wants them to do! The Royal Houses are pointless - we live, breed, and die just to be perfect little dolls in her castle!” “ I DON”T JUST WANT PERFECT PONIES!” she shouted, losing control of herself. “ I JUST WANT EVERYPONY TO BE HAPPY! AND EVEN NOW, I CARE! YOU’VE HURT SO MANY, BUT I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU!” The anger in the princes eyes had changed to terror in an instant. He shied backwards, tripping over his own hooves as he backed away, bowing reflexively. “ D-don’t-” She began to call out, but he panicked an ran. He tore down the path of the palace maze, galloping and gasping in breathless terror. Celestia could have followed him - with wings, she was far faster than he. But it was pointless. It would serve nothing. All he wanted was to be lost.
ThreeIn the years of Blueblood's tenure, the House of Unicorns had experienced little positive development. Scandals and rumors had been become the norm, with the Prince slowly growing more and more out of control. His disappearance had been seen by many as a relief, his return as a spectacle. But nopony could deny that Blueblood now had at least one good work to his name. The auction had been a monumental success - the tales of the garage sale had prompted many to come by and see what was to be offered. Carriages and chariots, both the Houses’s collection and Blueblood's excessive fleet, were auctioned for charity - in this case, every bit went towards Clear Waters rehabilitation center. The near legendary damages to Canterlot after the last Gala? 16 million bits to repair. The amount donated to the Canterlot Addiction Rehabilitation Center? 83 million bits. It was a sum that seemed a joke. A dozen of the richest dragons would struggle to put together such a sum. It was almost an embarrassment that such a sum could be raised from the House of Unicorns simply selling off a few assets, but nopony could deny that it was a grand gesture. There was, of course, a dark spot on the whole affair. Blueblood had locked himself in his bedroom in the villa, only communicating by note though the mailslot and taking all his meals though the dumbwaiter. He refused to allow any servants or guards inside. The media seemed conflicted on how to report this - here was a pony making the single largest financial donation in Equestrian history and he was a scandalous twit who’d suffered some sort of drug-related breakdown, become a recluse, and if rumor was to be believed, shouted at the beloved Princess Celestia herself in a fit of mad rage. Knowing the truth to the papers guesswork didn’t ease Celestia at all. To their credit, none of the nobles had asked what had happened several nights ago. They’d heard the shouting, but knew it was a tender subject. Celestia had confided in Luna the entire tale, feeling physically sickened by the ordeal. What was worst about the situation is that while she felt more sympathy for the Prince, she felt angrier at Blueblood as well. He thought of the mares he had bedded and scandals he had caused as casually as Discord would think about making it rain chocolate. There was no remorse. No empathy. Not even a flicker of admittance that it could have gone differently. And his reason for it all? He wanted to go play. He was childish. Pathetic. Below contempt. He was a grown stallion behaving like a foal, throwing a years long temper tantrum. It was sick and monstrous at the same time that it made her want to tell him that it was okay, that things would get better. She was at the end of her options. She didn’t know what to do at this point. She knew how to rule, how to care, how to guide. She’d tried all of those things. She’d given him a thousand chances to improve. She had nothing more to give him. Generosity had been his last true chance. Rarity was one of those sparkling gems in the world. She was a mare who wanted it all but would give it up to help a stranger. She was kind and caring but held herself high and pursued her dreams. She worked hard and gave freely. She should have at least shown the Prince what Celestia wanted him to be. Now she served only as a mirror to how much Celestia hated the Prince and she felt horror at thinking she’d once hoped the Element and the Prince would grow closer. Rarity deserved better. But she couldn’t forget that little foal, shivering in the dark. “ Manehattan will be fine, then.” she said, accepting the proposition by the cities mayor for the town to be the center of an upcoming festival. It was her last decision of the morning, with lunch ahead of her. She was hungry. She’d lost her appetite enough lately to make her a little ravenous the last few meals, so she hurried her trot a little on the way to the dining hall. She was one of the first there and took her place. It was midday, so Luna was fast asleep. She would have loved her sisters company. “ Bread and a fresh salad to start.” she said, instructing her servant. “ Then...oh, some hay fries with rosemary and, if there is any left, a slice of that delicious pie we had last night. If not, any pie or cake will be fine.” “ Your majesty.” said the servant with a bow, galloping off. “ Granny! Wonderful to see, it’s been ages, hasn’t it?” Celestia’s eyes bugged. Cantering into the hall past a number of stunned looking nobles was Blueblood, his pose comported with pomp and head held high. His hair was immaculate and flowing, his face smarmy and confident, and his suit tacky and out of date. He took a seat a ways from her and rudely called for the servants, ordering a obscene amount of food immediately. “ Ah, but it shall be so nice to tuck in today!” he laughed, his tone hearty. He sounded like he had months ago, carefree and bold. “ I had a rather busy morning - I had the guards fly me all the way to the Everfree, you know. I suppose I could have gone to one of my usual sources, but Poison Joke is just so much more effective when freshly picked.” “ Prince Blueblood!” shouted Celestia, getting to her feet. From the doorway the rest of the court watched in stunned silence. “ How dare you enter this hall and brag of such things!” “ Ah, but you’d missed it so!” he guffawed. A servant arrived with a candied apple, which he took an obscene bite, chomping it down messily. “ The court had - oh, and the poor newspapers, what would they be without me to keep the front page filled? Nothing, that’s the answer.” “....are you...” Celestia searched for the term. She glanced to a guard, who mouthed it. “ Are you ‘high’, Prince Blueblood?” “ As a pair of griffons in rut!” laughed the prince, apple and caramel spilling on his suit. “ Ah, you’ve ordered fries I see. Mind if I have a few?” “ Why would you do this to yourself, Prince?” Celestia’s anger was boiling over, but she was still trying to keep herself from exploding. “ The only progress you’d made was in cleaning yourself up!” “ And it didn’t do a damn thing - oh, but this is delicious!” Another servant arrived, leaving a tray of imported leaves. “ This should last me a while, so try and keep out of the line of fire, would you?” he said, looking to the servant and giving the mare a little pat on the cheek. “ As I was saying, Granny, it didn’t do a damn thing. I felt like crap, the papers still obsessed over me, and you were just as unhappy with me as you’d ever been. The whole court knew it - you guard your tongue faaar more than that darling little sister of yours!” Celestia could only sputter in shock. “ So, I decided it was all pointless.” said the prince with a sigh, taking a mouthful of leaves and chewing them while he spoke. “ I’ve given up. Take away my title, like you threatened in the letter. No, better yet, tell the Guard they have to take a Joke-head like me into their ranks! Oh, that’ll be a hoot. Better yet, give me the whammy. Give me the big one! SEND ME TO THE MOON!” As he spoke he leapt up, sending the table toppling over and pointing to the sky. He then fell about laughing. “ See, I can’t be what you want me to be.” said the Prince, wiping a tear from his eye as he caught his breath. “ I’m not that pony. I don’t know who this - “ he stopped to draw the letter she’d written him from his pocket with magic, levitating it in front of him. “ - bright eyes foal who listened to your stories of dragons is. I think he died when he had that fever. Then I think his body walked to that map room I told you about and fell asleep. That’s me, the little lost colt who got woken up.” “ What are you trying to do here.” It was not a statement so much as a command for an answer. Celestia was livid, glaring at him. “ I was rather hoping I’d make you mad enough to kill me.” said the Prince in a sing-song voice. A moment later, he’d been turned to stone. ====================== Celestia simply stared at the smug face of Prince Blueblood as he stood on the pedestal in the garden. She’d taken him outside almost immediately. The court, in fear, had fled her presence. It had happened before. But it had never happened like this - if she had to deal with a pony, they were out of control and needed to be stopped. The Prince had set himself up for this. He’s mocked her. He’d mocked Canterlot. He’d spat in the faces of his family, his ancestors, and everything the Unicorns had stood for. He was back to his dangerous bingeing ways. If she’d left him loose, he’d like had tried to have his way with a servant mare or some such thing to anger her more. He was out of control. He was beyond redemption. The clatter of hooves told her that her letter had already been heeded. “ Princess!” cried the ever-faithful Twilight Sparkle, leading the charge into the sun-lit gardens. The other elements of harmony were with her, as was Princess Luna, looking alert and worried. From the windows nearby, nobles and servants watched in curiosity. “ We came as fast as we could when Spike got your letter!” “ Thank you, my beloved student.” said Celestia, struggling slightly to keep her voice in check. “ And thank each of you for coming. I’m afraid we have a rather unpleasant task ahead of us.” “ It don’t involve buckin’ that statue to the dump, does it?” asked Applejack, gesturing to Prince Blueblood. “ No offense, ma’am, but why’d you waste good stone on a rotten apple like that?” “ I turned him to stone in anger.” said Celestia sadly. The mares - even Rarity - gasped. “ And it pains me to say I had a good reason to. The Prince of Unicorns....is beyond my help. You may know of his self destructive habits, but he is quickly falling into being purely destructive.” “....so, are we going to try to help you find the good in him?” asked Fluttershy, looking to the statue. She seemed nervous about staring at it and looked away. “....I-I hope you are.” said Celestia, looking to the ground sadly. “ He is beyond my help. He’s lost and happy there - self centered and proud of it - and in general, rather monstrous. I-I don’t know how to fix him.” “ Well, lets try blasting him with the Elements of Harmony!” said Pinkie Pie excitedly, hopping up. “ That worked with Nightmare Moon - oh, hey, look! She’s here! Hey Moony! And it’s what we always do around this time, blast stuff with friendship!” “ That was my plan.” replied Celestia, smiling slightly. Pinkie had the most bizarrely infectious attitude. “ I’m not sure it will do anything - the Elements are magic beyond my understanding - “ “ And it may harm him worse than anything he could do himself.” said Luna, stepping forwards. “ Sister, are you sure you should do this? However bad he may be....the Elements cannot solve every problem.” “ I-I just can’t think of anything else.” said Celestia, her head falling. She couldn’t hold herself back anymore - she was crying. Frustration and sorrow alike, both emotions dripped from her as she fell to her haunches. “ I just can’t help him. Everything I do makes it worse. And he j-just keeps f-f-falling further away.” “ Sister-” said Luna, nuzzling Celestia to try and comfort her. “ I promised his parents.” she sobbed. “ He was sick with a fever and they were needed for a treaty with the diamond dogs. He was sick and I promised I would take care of him. I could feel his burning, I could feel him struggle so hard to breath. I was so afraid he’d die there, die in the dark, alone from his parents. W-when he didn’t die...I-I’ve never seen anything so sad, so miserable, so weak. When he got better I did everything to help keep him safe. And it all turned out wrong. I kept him alive at the cost of him living. He became this twisted little thing that grew, lashing out in pain, and I promised I’d take care of him.” She fell to the ground, struggling to choke out her words. “ I-I’ve just lost so many over the years. Ponies I couldn’t help. Ponies I couldn’t save. Ponies I ruined. It hurts me, every time I think of them. And Blueblood....he’s never been anything but that shivering little foal in my eyes.” And then, the world was silent.
