Plume

"Why aren't you exited Trevor?"  A familiar voiced asked as Trevor looked down at his plate.

"Blueblood, It's the third time this week I have to listen to these ponies whine about petty issues."  Trevor responds to Blueblood, who's sitting at the opposite side of the royal dinner table.

"But your a member of the family, you have to!"  He pleaded, visibly distressed at the lack of enthusiasm that Trevor showed on his face.

"I'm going to do it, no need to get all worked up."  Trevor slugishly responded as he picked at his salad.

It was Trevor's turn to cover for his Aunt, Princess Celestia, in day courts.  He didn't mind doing it, but it always ended up with one or two ponies thinking they could con him because he is a human.  In fact, he is a rare breed.  The only human in Equestria.  When Princess Celestia found out about him, she took him in, and gave him the title of Prince.  While this was an honor, he only felt more and more alienated from the ponies he ruled over.  Instead of making tons of friends, Trevor always hung around Celestia, Blueblood, and on occasion, Luna.  But this never stopped him... he said he was happy right?

"Only two more weeks 'till Celestia gets back."  Blueblood reminded Trevor as he set his fork down.

"Hey Blue, I think I'm going to get to it early today.  I want to have time to relax afterwards."  And with that being said, Trevor stood up and walked out of the dining hall.

The castle always felt so empty on Saturdays.  Saturdays are usually the days that ponies choose to relax and enjoy fellowship.  It was a complete one eighty for Trevor though, on Earth, Saturdays are always the busiest.  Earth.  The very thought of his home made Trevor cringe.  He left Earth at the worst time possible.  He just got his licence, a steady job, graduated from high school, got a date with a nice girl... things were really looking up...  But he doesn't care to think about it anymore.  The only thing that matters now is this pony land, where colorful horses talk.

The trumpets sounded as Trevor neared the door to the throne room.

"Announcing His Royal Highness, Prince Trevor!  Presiding over day court on the first of Evershire's Evelight!"  A guard yelled as the lined up ponies bowed towards him.  Many of the ponies he had never seen before, but soon he would have to play therapist for them.

Trevor took a seat on his Aunt's throne and motioned his hand for the first appointment.

"Prince, it is an honor to stand in your presence... you are even more handsome than the paintings."  A purple mare states, trying to use flattery to loosen him up.

"Thank you, You are too kind.  What is your name?"  He asks, masking a response he wants to whip at her, but he can't.

"Velvet Cross, your highness."  She bowed as Trevor stoked his small beard.

"Nice to make your acquaintance Miss Velvet.  What brings you to day court?"  Velvet stands back up and looks at him directly in the eyes.

"Well, I was hoping to plead my case on charges."

"Alright, what were the charges, and what's your defense?"  Trevor asks taking out a cigar from a box next to the throne.

"I was accused of stealing.  The Canterlot Art Gallery accused me of stealing a sculpture, that since then has been recovered.  They say I stole a sculpture of Starswirl the Bearded, by Ponardo the Great."  she said as Trevor lit his cigar.

"I see, was the accusing party able to make it today?"  Trevor asks as he puffs a small cloud of smoke.

"well, no... Your highness...  They said they couldn't make it the days I could be in Canterlot..."

"Your case has been hereby put in recess.  It will remain in recess until the prosecuting party can attend a court date.  Velvet, you will be given free transportation to your court date.  Have a nice day." The prince lets out with a plastered on smile.

"Thank you so very much Prince!" The eager pony bowed and trotted out happily.

Although Trevor hated day court, he enjoyed seeing normal ponies in it.  The so called nobles were very much a pain to progress, especially one called Filthy Rich.  Filthy was not technically a noble, but he still was rich.  The princesses have special ways to deal with him in particular, but he still trys to manipulate them.  Trevor sighed as the next pony walked in, with a special swagger.

"Prince Trevor,  Even Question is here to see you sir."  The guard said, announcing the guest.

"Prince, I came here to bring an injustice to your attention.  There is a pony who was wrongfully murdered.  The Fillydalphia guard shot down an unarmed pony.  Forty-one shots were fired on a pony named Darkest hour.  Mr. Hour was walking home at two in the morning when he was mistaken for criminal.  The protectors saw him... And fired forty-one shots.  Nineteen magic rounds struck him, killing him.  I plead this case before you to maybe help numb the pain I am experiencing for losing my friend."  A yellow furred pony states.

"Well, I am very sorry for your loss... But unfortunately I can not see to your case.  Under law four, section three, any crimes commited during the night must be pleaded to the ruler of the night.  If I may add, it seems like there is something unknown to me that may shed some more light on this subject.  I feel like there I more depth to this.  I'm sorry sir, but that's all I can add.  Have a nice day, and don't forget to schedule a night court appointment."  Trevor took another puff of his cigar and nodded his head.

The stallion looked at the prince in frustration and bowed.  His feathers ruffled on his wings as he got up and walked away.  At this point, Trevor started to care less and less.  He knew some ponies would think he was inferior.  It was obvious.  The looks on their faces tell him all he needs to know.  It's quite sad, especially since the princesses have been pushing ideas of acceptance.  Many people don't care for it either, it seems like a curse.

"Sir, I suggest you push these issues to a later date... Princess Celestia is back."  Trevor's personal guard comes up to him and says with intent.

So much for a cigar.   Trevor thought to himself as he sighed, anxious to see the Princess.

"That's probably for the best, take care of it Silver Sword."  With that being said, the guard salutes and walks off.

Trevor took his cigar and took a few more puffs and put it out on an ashtray located next to the cigar box.  He sighed again looking at his nicotine fix being put out.  Celestia is going to flip... again.  Screw it.

Princess Celestia walked though the giant, solid gold doors, into the main throne room.  She stopped walking, lifting her nose to the air.  Trevor saw her smell the air and instantly, a look of disapproval shot straight at the only human in the room.  Without breaking her glance, Celestia walked over to the guard by the door and whispered in his ear.  The guard's look became frightened as he saluted and ushered all the other solders out of the room.  Trevor knew what was going to happen... Celestia was very pissed.

"Trevor. Get. Down. From. There. NOW!"  The Princess yelled at him as she stared him down with a vengeance.

"Your not my mother."  The Prince deadpanned as he picked up his box of smokes and walked towards her.

"I thought I told you not to ever I MEAN EVER smoke EVER AGAIN!"  She yelled almost enraged at the top of her voice.

"Well I'm sorry to let you down, again."  He yet again commented like nothing touched him.

"If you won't respect my rules, you will be confined to your room."  Celestia said, quickly loosing all emotion in her face.  But Trevor knew how angry she was at him.  She hadn't been this angry since he intentionally defaced statues in the Royal Gardens.

"You can have these, it's not like I care anyway."

"Good. I was going to take them.  Also, I'm glad to announce that I personally have passed a law that will ban all tobacco products... effective tomorrow."  Celestia growled as she grabbed the box with her magic.

"Wow!  I'm so proud for the ruler of Equestria!  I heard she's so conceded, that she has to throw a festival for herself annually!  Also!  I heard her ass keeps getting fatter and fatter because she can't resist every GODDAMNED CAKE SHE SEES!"  He yelled back as he started shaking from anger.

"I thought I raised you better than this! But apparently I did not."  She places the box on the ground and incinerated it on the spot.  It sat on the marble floors, burning.  "Go to your room.  Before I put you in a world of pain."  She sighed as she looked down at the burning ashes of the cigar box.

"So you mean exist here?  Cause I've been here for the past five years.  I don't know if you heard, but this place is my personal hell.  Good day, Hitler."  Trevor spat out of his mouth at her as he walked by, exiting to the staircase that leads to the bedrooms.

A guard walks up to him as he enters the staircase, still looking visibly distressed.

"Prince... is it... ok... if we return to post?"  He asks nervously.

"I wouldn't right now, haven't you heard?  Excitement is just a fad."  And with that, he walks off leaving the guards behind him.