Chapters 'Dear, Princess Celestia,
'I know it's not often, or even at all for that matter, that you get letters from me, but... I just...thought I should tell you, ya know? Get things off my chest and whatnot. So, here I go. I've...done something. Something bad. Something so bad that it haunts me every night, and makes me cry in the morning. It happened quite a while ago, but the pain of it still hasn't subsided. I don't think it ever will. I believe you know what incident I mean? Yes, that one. I...I did such a terrible thing. I hurt so many ponies. I...I...'
By this time, Trixie was crying. Some of it had gotten onto the parchment she was writing on. Even so, she continued.
'I caused so much pain and suffering, all because of some petty jealousy. I was so caught up in beating Twilight that I couldn't see the error of my ways. No, that's not it. I wasn't trying to beat twilight. Not at all. I...wanted her to acknowledge me. To me, Twilight was everything I wasn't.' She was super smart, great at magic, and she had friends. Good ones. Not to say that Starlight Glimmer isn't a wonderful friend. It's just...she's my only friend. I love and treasure her with all my heart but, and this is probably because of what I did, everypony else avoids me. No one comes to my shows anymore, no one visits me, and everypony else has probably forgotten I exist by now. I just want to be accepted.
'That's why I tried so hard to become twilight's rival. I loved her. I adored her. I wanted to be her. I thought that if I could beat Twilight at magic, then she would consider me an equal, and accept me as a friend. But, when she beat me, and especially when she became a princess, I knew that my dream of becoming her equal would never come true. So I gave up, and stopped chasing that dream.
'I had been so scared to admit this to myself that I started treating twilight as if she was below me, when deep down I knew the truth. I would never be as good as her. Every day I chided myself for not just coming out and telling her, but I knew that if I did that, I would be admitting defeat, to both myself and my dream. If I did that, all the work I put into getting her to take notice of me as an equal and to take me seriously would be for nothing. I wanted to stand by her side, to be someone she could rely on when she was in trouble. I wanted...to be with her.
'But sadly, on the day of the coronation, all my hard work went to waste. She is above me now, and I am now and forever her humble subject, simply following orders instead of giving them right alongside her. It hurts, but that is the way it is now.
'Hahahahaha...I suppose you've heard enough of me rambling on about what's past. I hope you somehow see this letter, princess. If somehow it does find you well, please do me this one favor. Tell everypony i'm sorry for what I did and how I treated them, and tell Twilight I love her. Please?'
Your humble subject, Trixie.
Celestia read the letter with a tear in her eye. As she finished it, she put it down on the ground beside her and looked at Starlight Glimmer, the pony who had brought her the letter to begin with.
"This...is a terrible occurrence." Was all she could say, too sad and too exhausted from her grief at losing one of her subjects to say anything more.
"I know princess." Starlight Glimmer said as she trotted up to hug her, receiving one in return. "I know..."
Then, suddenly, an idea came to her. "I'll go and look for her."
Celestia Pulled away from her and held onto her shoulders, looking her dead in the eye. "No." Was all she said.
"Why not, princess!" Starlight yelled.
"She made her decision, Starlight. We cannot, nor do we have the right, to force her to change her mind."
"But she's already apologized!"
"No she hasn't, Starlight Glimmer."
The purple and pink pony stopped, floored.
"What do you mean, princess? The letter..."
"A letter is nothing of note compared to a personal, sincerely given, and face to face apology, Starlight."
"You...have a point princess." Starlight said, defeated. But then she straightened, her face determined. "But even so, I will not allow a friend of mine to just leave without giving herself a chance to make things right!"
Celestia smiled, proud of Starlight's devotion to her friend.
"I understand your sentiment, Starlight."
Starlight's face brightened. "You do?"
"I do." Celestia responded. "Which is why I will allow you to go and find her."
Starlight smiled, but her smile was soon replaced by a frown when she realized, "But how will we find her?"
Celestia only continued to smile. "Do not worry, Starlight. Watch this." With that her horn began to glow. She aimed it at a wall of her castle and fired, releasing a blast of magic that hit the wall and made it turn a red-orange color. Suddenly, it showed a picture of Trixie as she made her way to the ponyville train station, preparing to get on the train.
"Wha- Is that Trixie?" Starlight said, a bit confused.
"It is." Celestia responded. "She is preparing to leave ponyville, and I do not believe she will return once she does."
Starlight stomped her right forehoof. "I can't let that happen!"
"In that case, I suggest you make haste if you wish to catch her before the train arrives." Celestia said, a serious expression present on her face.
"Okay!" Starlight galloped off in search of her friend, before stopping at the castle door to look back at princess Celsetia. "Thank you princess. For everything." She said, before galloping off once again.
Celestia smiled. "You're welcome." She looks at the sky, thinking, 'Go, Starlight. Bring her back to us, safe and sound...'
The Great and Powerful Duo
Starlight Glimmer made her way through Ponyville, galloping in such a hurry that she didn't even bother to watch where she was going. Not that she needed to considering it was nighttime and everypony except her, Celestia, and Trixie were asleep. She had to find her. She didn't care where she went or where she had to go. She would search the entirety of Equestria if she had to. Anything to find her friend.
But that was only if she managed to leave before she got there. Right now Trixie was still in ponyville, so she still had a chance to stop her, to change her mind about leaving, to make her see that there was still someone who cared, that there was still a way to fix things, to make them better. All these thoughts ran through her mind as she sped up her galloping, breathing harder now.
After about an hour, she made it to the station. As she searched around, she found her friend, sitting on her haunches on the wooden planks of the station, waiting for the train.
She ran up to her and stopped in front of her, breathing so heavily that Trixie had to ask. "Are you...alright, Starlight?"
"Oh, sure!...I'm...fine..." Came Starlight's response as she tried to catch her breath.
"That's good and all, but, why are you here?" Trixie asked, confused.
"I came...to stop you...from getting on that train..." Starlight said as she inhaled sharply.
Trixie smirked. "Starlight, i'm glad that you care for me and all, and i'm happy you came all this way for me, but...I've made my decision. I'm leaving ponyville and that's that. ...Nopony even wants me there." She spoke the last line with sadness in her voice, her ears flattening to the back of her head to accentuate her emotion.
"You're wrong!" Trixie suddenly heard Starlight say. She had caught her breath and was now looking Trixie dead in the eyes. "I want you there."
Trixie scoffed. "Of course you do. You're my only friend. Everypony else doesn't."
"You don't know that!" Starlight yelled, now getting tired of her friends stubbornness.
"It's obvious!" Trixie said, matching her friend's tone of voice. "Nopony talks to me! They all just avoid me! They're so angry at me that they can't even look in my general direction! They hate me..."
"Have you even tried talking to them?" Starlight said, making Trixie stop.
"How could you know how they feel about you if you don't interact with them directly and find out for yourself? You can't just presume to understand people's feelings based off your own interpretations of them."
Trixie looked about ready to burst into tears. She hadn't realized that all she's been doing up to this point was avoiding her problems and assuming that people hated her and were judging her without ever taking into account how they might actually feel about it.
She hugged her friend tightly and sobbed into her chest.
"You've been hiding for too long." Starlight said, holding her friend close to her and letting her cry into her. "It's time to come out of hiding and face the light of day again."
Trixie looked up at Starlight, tears streaming down her face.
"Ya know?" Starlight said, finally finishing her sentence properly.
Trixie cried a bit more before saying between sobs, "But what do we do? How do we get everypony's attention so that I can apologize?"
"Leave that...to me." Starlight said, smiling now.
After that, and a bit of yelling from the conductor of the train about sappy reunions and speeding it up, to which Trixie said nothing, sending him on his way with a few bits for his wasted time, the two unicorns returned to ponyville.
Starlight's plan was to put on one of Trixie's magic shows, to which she protested profusely, saying, "That could never work! Nopony comes to my magic shows anymore!"
Starlight simply hugged her tight and said, "Don't worry. They'll come."
Trixie accepted and returned the hug, trusting her friend to help her in her time of need.
After some prep work, the show was ready to start. But once again, Trixie was nervous. "What if they don't like it? What if they throw tomatoes at me?"
Starlight chuckled. "Nopony's going to throw tomatoes at you." Trixie could've sworn she heard Starlight mumble, "I paid them enough bits not to." But she just thought it was the nervousness talking. "Now go out there and do some magic."
Trixie smiled, some of her confidence returning "Alright."
Trixie stepped out from behind the curtains and began her magic show with her usual catchphrase. "Welcome to the Great and Powerful Trrrrrixie's Terrifically Tantalizing magic show!"
What followed was a great show full of bunnies, hats, oats, and disappearing acts. Not to mention saws and boxes. There were thunderous shouts as everypony clapped their hooves together in applause.
Trixie nearly doubled over in joyous tears as she heard the cheers of her audience. This was why she did her magic shows. This was the reason. So she could see the happy faces of the ponies around her after they had watched her performance. Her whole career as a magician was for the purpose of making ponies happy. Without them, she was nothing, so to hear them cheer for her filled her with unimaginable happiness.
Her happiness was increased three fold when she looked down at the audience and saw Princess Twilight and her friends clapping their hooves excitedly.
Then she remembered Starlight's plan and said, "For my final trick, I require an assistant from the audience." She pointed at Twilight. "You there. Come on down!" she waved her hoof in a gesture of "Come on up."
Twilight did so as she made her way across the field and up the stairs to the stage. She stood in front of Trixie, who said, "And now I will....Apologize..." She said as she took off her hat and looked at the audience, sorrow in her eyes.
"Listen everypony. I'm sorry I did all those things back then. I'm sorry I acted the way I did, and I'm sorry I made such a mess in that...incident." She said, walking around and looking at the ponies of the audience, especially snips and snails. Then she turned to look at Twilight.
"I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you and your friends. I'm sorry I said all those hurtful things and treated you so badly. It was wrong of me and I feel so bad about it."
Twilight raised a hoof to Trixie's muzzle, smiling. "No need, Trixie. I forgive you."
Trixie smiled and grabbed hold of Twilight's hoof. The sudden action caused Twilight to blush and ask, "Trixie, wha-what are you doing?"
"Something I should've done in the beginning." Trixie said as she brought her muzzle close to Twilight's and kissed her deeply. throwing Twilight completely off guard and causing wings to flare up in surprise. The rest of the awed had shocked faces as they watched what had just happened.
Trixie broke the kiss, returning to her original position while still holding Twilight's hoof. She looked her deep in the eyes and said,
"Thank you Twilight, for forgiving me, and for giving me the chance to say this."
"Say what?" Twilight asked with an eyebrow raised.
Trixie got closer to Twilight again, causing her to blush as she thought she was going to be kissed again. Trixie blushed as well, saying "I love you, twilight Sparkle."
Twilight just stood there for a moment, processing what had just happened. Then, she smiled, a gentle look on her face. "I love you too, Trixie."
After that, the two of them left the stage, heading home together. Trixie had finally gotten her wish. She was with the mare she loved. And she was happy. Very happy.
A single mare walked along the path that led into and throughout ponyville. Her white and baby blue mane fell into her face and covered up her purple eyes, which were holding back tears. Her steps wobbled a bit as she trembled lightly, nearly falling due to the awkward movement of her sky blue hooves, which matched her coat. She looked around at all the happy, smiling faces, the roaming and laughing ponies, and the bustling town itself, and sighed.
Even among all this cheer and goodwill, she was not happy. It was beautiful, yes, and it made her feel good inside, but she was not happy.
In fact, all the goodness around her did was make her even more sad, because she knew that she would not be able to see it after today.
After the incident with Twilight Sparkle and the amulet, Trixie returned home, defeated and with her pride broken into a million pieces. She had lost to her in the most humiliating way possible. Morally.
Not only had she gotten so jealous of her rival that she resorted to using dark magic, but she put a lot of ponies, including herself, in danger doing it.
Ever since then, she never left her home. She stayed inside her wagon, where she lived on the outskirts of ponyville.
Every day she woke up clutching her bed sheets, sweating and crying and screaming. She had started having nightmares of what she could do to ponyville, and eventually all of Equestria, if she let her petty jealousy get in the way like that again.
Every night she cried some more, thinking of what she did to her fellow ponies and how they all hated her for it.
Even after gaining her first ever friend in Starlight Glimmer, she was still sad.
The nightmares never stopped, and even though Starlight was her friend, she couldn't just burden her with her problems like that. That would be insensitive and rude, in her opinion.
After all the pain and suffering she herself endured from her own actions, she was sick of it all. She didn't want to hurt anymore, to feel sad and to know that she, because of some stupid rivalry that she herself started, could have caused a lot more pain than she did.
She knew she deserved it, but she wondered just how long Luna would punish her, making her relive every humiliating and painful moment of that day.
She was conducting her business at one of the shops in ponyville, as was usual whenever she ran out of food in her wagon. When she was done, and the clerk was paid, she immediately turned in the opposite direction and made her way back home.
She had been looking back over the town and its residents in order to make a decision. Would she leave ponyville, or not?
After remembering all of that, and seeing that not a single pony greeted her throughout her trip, she decided.
"I'm going to leave." She said out loud once she was inside her wagon. She began to pack her things.
