Princess Luna Gets A Cat

by Doctor Disco

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 1328

Princess Luna gets a cat!

When Princess Celestia gets Princess Luna a cat, she thinks everything will go splendidly!

She thinks.

Luna doesn't know what to do with it, so she drops it in water!

In water.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-04 18:40:02 UTC

...What Do I Do With It?

“What is this?” Princess Luna asks, looking at the orange whiskered animal in front of her. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

“It’s a cat,” Princess Celestia sighed. “You’re supposed to take care of it as your pet.”

“What need have I for a pet?” Luna asked dubiously. She then points at it as it licks a paw, and turns to her sister, “It’s just sitting there, as if I do not even exist!”

Celestia tried not to facehoof. “They’re cats! Cats do those kinds of things.”

Luna picked it up in her magic and turned it around a few times. It hissed at the sudden disturbance and begin to squirm and wriggle. Luna flinched backward and made a ‘eugh!’ noise. “All it does is hiss and be lazy! If this is all that cats do, then I do not want one!”

“Come on, Luna, it’s your birthday. Give it a shot!” Celestia encouraged, but dropped her jaw as she watched her sister drop it… right into the fountain beside them.

As if on cue, the cat made a high pitched screech before splashing into the forbidden water. “mrrreeeEEEEEOWWWWWW!” it wailed before jumping out and clinging onto Luna’s prone form.

Celestia watched in horror as the cat’s claws came into effect immediately and stabbed into Luna’s skin. “What a useless- GET OFF ME YOU INFERNAL BEAST! AIEEEEEEE!”

Celestia winced as Luna began to hop around, only worsening the situation as the cat began to scratch Luna in an attemp to stay on. “Luna! Stop! You’re only making things worse!” she cried, attempting to take a step forward but reeled back when the cat was nearly whipped onto her face.

“OF ALL THE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT, AND ANY OTHER BEINGS IN EXISTENCE, THEY ARE DREAMS COMPARED TO YOU!” Luna cried ripping the cat from off her form with a forceful bout of magic and tossing it away. The cat cried in even more alarm, before somewhat gracefully landing on all four paws. Luna quickly made way toward the tiny feline and Celestia tried to hold her back.

“Luna, calm down. It’s only attacking you because you dropped it in water! Cat’s don’t like water.”

“Then it’ll have to learn to,” Luna growled as she faced the now-hostile cat.

“Alright you hideous- GAHH!” Luna started before the cat jumped onto her face and began to claw at it viciously.

“GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!” she began to shout and Celestia groaned in annoyance. Little sisters were so annoying.

With a wave of her head, she separated the two who had now cartoonishly gotten into a dust cloud that had the occasional hoof or paw stick out. With another flourish of her horn, both beings were put to sleep.

“And I thought she would love it,” Celestia muttered, floating the two behind her as she began to walk.

Celestia frowned as she watched from inside a double glass room her sister and the cat she had gotten have a stare off. After she had knocked them both unconscious, she had placed them both on opposite sides of a table, and woken them up. Now here they were, narrowing their eyes at each other. The cat had a battle stance, ready to pounce, while she could see her sister occasionally making her horn glow.

“You insufferable animal…”

“Hisss!”

“You wretched feline…”

“Hiss!”

“You horrible-”

“Okay sister, that’s enough,” Celestia demanded as she came into the room.. “The cat has done nothing to you.”

Luna deadpanned and then pointed to the countless bandages on her face and body. “You call this ‘nothing’?!”

“Well, you were the one that dropped the cat in water.”

Luna raised a hoof before humphing. “How was I supposed to know my new animal didn’t like water?”

“It’s a universally-known fact, Luna! Cat’s don’t like water. Period,” Celestia facehoofed.

“If you haven’t forgotten already, I’ve been gone for a thousand years, before we had silly ‘pets’ that attacked us willy nilly!” Luna argued before casting a loathful glance at the cat. She had decided to name it Kyle. For some reason, she hated the name Kyle.

The cat prowled around it’s side of the table. “Luna, say sorry,” Celestia urged, but Luna turned her head the other way, closing her eyes and crossing her hooves.

“Luna. Say. Sorry.”

“I shall not!”

“I won’t let you leave this room until you say sorry to the cat!”

“There is nothing for me to be sorry about.”

Celestia facehoofed. “Then you will stay trapped with her until the time comes when you apologize.”

“What?!” Luna shouted as Celestia retreated and cast an impenetrable shield on the door and the glass. Luna ran to the door and began to bang on it desperately. “Celestia do not leave me with this abomination I will pay you a thousand bits no no no!” But it was too late. The door was closed. She turned around fearfully as she locked eye with the monster that would be her demise. She swore she could see the cat grin evilly and she watched as her life flashed before her.

The cat pounced at Luna.

Celestia watched in horror as the cat made it’s way to attack her sister when the unexpected happened. The cat clung onto Luna fearfully and Luna hugged it back, as they both looked at something fearfully in the room.

“Luna?” she whispered, pressing herself against the glass and looking at the duo.

“I’m sorry, Kyle! I didn’t mean anything of what I did! I am glad to have made your acquaintance as we meet our inevitable doom!” Luna cried in fear.

“Mrow! Mrow meow! Mroooow meow meow! Meeeoooowww!” the cat wailed as it looked like it was crying.

Celestia quickly made her way to the door and thrust it open, wondering what caused them to join together in fear.

“Luna, what’s…?” Celestia began to ask before she saw what they saw.

“BY THE STARS WHAT IS THAT?!” Celestia shouted in alarm as she saw a giant eight-legged spider the size of her head and a hole in the wall behind it.

“Celestia save us!” Luna shivered, clinging onto the cat for dear life.

“Mrowhowhow!” the cat said.

Celestia watched in horror as it scuttled it’s way toward her and she charged up her horn.

“To Tartarus with you!” Celestia shouted before she banished the mega-spider away. She then turned her attention back to her sister and the cat and smiled.

“I’m sorry, cat, for all my wrong doings. Know I did not mean any of what I had done, all but instinctual disgust from my thousand years of absence…” Luna muttered with her eyes closed, rocking back and forth with the cat in her embrace.

“Meow. Mrow meow. Meow mrow meow. Meow. Meow…” the cat murmured, closed eyes as well.

“Are you girls done crying?” Celestia grinned.

Luna and Kyle cracked an eye open before they pushed off each other and recomposed themselves. The cat sat shivering slightly, licking a paw in an attempt to brush off the recent event. Luna whipped her ethereal mane back and took a shaky breath.

“Whatever do you mean sister?” Luna asked, laughing nervously. The cat stayed silent.

“You said sorry to the cat, did you not?” Celestia cocked an eyebrow.

“Absolutely not. It has done nothing for me to say sorry f-for.”

The cat purred in response.

“Uh-huh. Right.” Celestia smirked as she turned around and exited the room. Luna and the cat glanced at each other before looking at the hole in the wall and they both ran after her.

“Sister! Wait for us!”

With one final burst of magic, Luna shut the door behind them and hugged the cat once more. “Nopony speaks of this, got it?” Luna told the cat as she sat it down. The cat shook its head before raising an eyebrow that said ‘What are you talking about?’, and Luna nodded.

“Good.”