Leaving The Past, Love The Present
I walked along the bridge leading into town, a small basket of confetti hanging off one arm and a bucket of old photos in the other. The night was very quiet and there was no trace of anyone around. I gave a weak smile when I realized that I was completely alone for the first time in a long time. I hadn't lived with Maud for about a year and a half now since she had graduated finally. My other friends had moved away not to long after, pursuing their dreams.
Where they had moved were still unknown and I often wondered what had become of them. I use to hang out with my friends but after they had moved, I never saw any of the others again. Occasionally, I saw Marble with some guy and the two had become almost inseparable for sometime. I was happy for the two of them, but was jealous as well.
I wished I could have met someone I loved... Well I had, but I couldn't tell him or at least never got the chance. I gave a little giggle, I was so lucky to have these feelings about him and even more lucky to have known him. I stopped and sat down in the center of the bridge and dangled off the side. I saw a flower nearby and removed it from the ground and began pulling the petals off of it.
I had to admit it was a little silly to be doing the 'he loves me,' 'he loves me not' theory... but I couldn't bring myself away from doing it every time I saw a flower in sight. Most of the time, the result of this was 'he loves me not' but I continued to have faith that maybe my luck would change one time. The first time I had done it since I meet him. I had gotten 'he loves me not' everytime. It didn't bother me at first and didn't think anything of it though... just dumb luck.
I had fantasies many times while doing this of me doing this routine and Grill Cheese would appear behind me. He would embrace me in a hug from behind and whisper in my ear, 'he loves me' and plant a kiss on the lips... It was a stupid thing to fantasize about, but it was worth wishing for it to happen. Plus, I couldn't stop myself from day dreaming about it anyway.
I finished removing all the petals from the stem and the outcome was once again, 'he loves me not.' I sighed, as selfish as it was I wished I could have someone care about me as much as my best friends and my sisters had. It was a poor thought, they had treated me so well... but it wasn't enough.
I pouted, I must stop thinking this way... I am so lucky for having all I have. I shouldn't dare want more! Maud wouldn't want me to think that way. I stared at the shaky reflection of the moon on the water below her.
"Pinkie?"
I heard a voice so startling in the silence it made me jump. I turned my head in the direction that I heard the voice and saw him.
"Grill Cheese? What a pleasant surprise!"
He walked over to me and sat down and copied what I was doing.
"What's wrong? Why are you sad?"
I calculated this for a moment, it's not very often he speaks in a serious manner but I had grown accustomed to it because I had been around him all the time.
"I'm not sad, I am very happy!"
He gave me a look,
"I know when someone is sad, and you are right now."
He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, he hated seeing me upset.
"Honestly, Grill Cheese... I'm great! I'm just going over some of my memories of my sis along with my other friends I don't see anymore. I miss them a great deal."
He smiled and wiped away a freshly fallen tear on my cheek. I hadn't even noticed I was crying.
"Let's go back to my place. You shouldn't be by yourself."
I smiled and gave a laugh,
"Oh Grill Cheese, you've always been so great to me... But I don't want to go just yet.. I will come to your house later okay?"
He sighed, he knew where I was going judging by the bucket beside me full of photos.
"Pinkie... you must stop doing this to yourself. She moved out of there ages ago and everyone going back there... It isn't helping. Your only hurting yourself."
I stood up in a instant, my feelings no longer able to be held back.
"You can't say that. I don't mean to be rude but you have no place to say things like that! It's like you when you go and travel around the world, not forming a bond with people!"
His face dropped at this insult, how could I say something so low? I felt awful for saying it and felt even worse for being selfish... I ran off in the direction of town before he could speak another word. I was actually shocked at my outrageous behavior, this wasn't like me. I knew somewhere deep down in my heart that this was just an obsession over what I longed for, but it gave me no right to go on a rampage like I did a moment ago. I felt my hair drop from its usual puffy self to straight.
After a few minutes of relentless running, I reached a house. It looked a little old and almost deserted, but I had come back there many times to keep it clean in hopes of Maud or even on of my friends would come back. I came by twice a week to place old photos around the house to keep it fresh and so the world wouldn't forget the memories we had.
I stopped a moment to catch her breath, still needing some energy to place the pictures. Once I caught my breath, I walked over to the font door of the house and opened it. The door was always unlocked because no one knew it was empty. It was actually crazy that I had even come acrossed it in the first place that one glorious and shameful day I moved in with my sister and my living conditions were discovered.
I gave another weak smile as I recollected on this, such sweet times I had. I sighed and began my photo placement. I began to dust off some of the photos when I noticed a photo album on the little table near the front door. I tried to remember whether that had been there when I came last; I didn't recall it being there. I threw the thought aside and picked up the photo album and sat down on the nearest bed.
I began flipping through pictures of the holidays, birthdays and just some random times of fun. A few tears began falling down my cheeks as the memories starting flowing back into my brain. I had forgotten many of the details about them. One photo in particular stopped me dead in motion, a picture of me and Grill Cheese hugging each other. I had done the same with my friends on the page before but this one felt different. I had been so joyous about doing it... The first time he actually looked calm and peaceful. I had been so excited and happy about this one that I promised myself I wouldn't forget but... I did.
I felt my heart ached as I tried to remember what it was like to be that happy all the time, or at least seem that way. I bit my lip as I attempted to hold back the urge to sob. I hadn't been truly happy in the longest time but still somehow managed to seem that way. My friends had usually seen through this, but since they left, no one could see me and the mask I've put on. It was strange that I had taken little notice to how I felt about anything anymore that I almost seemed to be nonexistent without my friends.
I began to sob, she couldn't keep feeling like this... I had to let him know. I didn't care if I was wrong. I had to tell him what I felt and stop living a lie.
I had always taken it to heart. That one day, I would tell him but felt as though something was stopping me. I didn't care, I loved him. His smile, his personality, everything. After another fifteen minutes of sobbing, I could feel myself fall into a restless sleep.
* * *
I blinked a few times to wake myself up, I figured I had slept through the night. For a split second, my heart stopped when she remembered she was supposed to go over Grill Cheese's house but then I knew that after saying that, he probably hates me.
I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I looked around the room for a moment and noticed that the photo album she had been looking at had fallen to the floor, the pages all bent and disarrayed. I leaned over and picked it up when a small envelope with a heart sticker sealing it shut flew out from inbetween some of the pages. I got off of the bed and picked up the letter, sitting back down on the edge of the bed again.
I looked at the front of it, my name written on it in sloppy letters. I flipped it back over and slid my finger under the sticker, making sure I didn't tear it. I slipped out the contents inside, taking note of my favorite picture of me and Grill Cheese. I found it odd that the picture was in the envelope and that was the page I fell asleep at it. I shook my head and opened the folded letter and began to read it aloud, since no one was around to hear it.
"Pinkie,
I don't know how to begin this so I will simply start out with what I want to say... I adore you and have for the longest time now. I will admit to you that I was hesitant since the moment I met you, but once I began to get closer to you... and when you began to show me what it was like to have someone care that you exist... I began to develop deep feelings for you.
Your smile makes my heart warm every time you bless me with it, your eyes are the most beautiful eyes I have (and will ever) see in my life. I'm not good at this sort of thing but... Pinkie Pie-"
My voice was joined with a male's voice, who seemed to be approaching me from behind. I immediately stopped when the unknown male said my name.
"Pinkie Pie... I love you. Completely. Fully. And forever."
I bit my lip as I began to cry once more, no one had said kinder words to me than Maud was around. I couldn't bring myself to turn around to expose to the kind-hearted boy behind me that I was crying. I felt my body jolt as I was hugged from behind and a chin was firmly planted on my shoulder, as well as a kiss on my cheek.
"Please, stop crying... It's okay now, I'm back and I'm here for you." said the mysterious boy.
I still didn't recognize who it was, so i finally turned in the boy's warm, strong embrace to get the identity of him. My face lit up and began to cry happy tears. I was so happy he was back with me again. I embraced him in the strongest hug I could muster. He returned the hug back and said,
"Don't worry, Pinkie... You won't need to shed another tear from now on... I'll be here for you until the day I die... I love you, and... I'm sorry for not considering your feelings before." With the very last word he spoke, he leaned over and kissed me on the lips... My fantasy has now become a reality.
