Trialby Even Evil Has StandardsChaptersCourt is now in session/Opening StatementBridle Gossip: Breaking & Entering and RacismWinter Wrap Up: Animal AbuseOwl's Well That Ends Well: Negligence and IncriminationInterlude: Party of One, Boast Busters, Best Night EverSwarm of the Century: Property DamageCourt is now in session/Opening StatementPONYVILLE SQUARE The town certainly was a sight for sore eyes. Buildings were ram-shackled. The sky was a dark red with nary a cloud in the sky. Ponies were out and about, looking at the strange sight before them: In place of the fountain was a large dock, like a stage. Several feet from it was a VERY large podium. For some reason, there was a set of buffers that ended a piece of track coming out of the refurbished Town Hall. Off to the side were 12 seats, 2 rows of 6, occupied by several sinister looking jurors, Chrysalis among them. In between the terrified crowd and the dock were several shackled ponies and one dragon. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Big Macintosh, Cheerilee, the Flower Trio, and Spoiled Rich all had manacles on their hooves. Even little Apple Bloom, Babs Seed, and Diamond Tiara were the same way. Rainbow Dash, her parents, Fluttershy, and the current Wonderbolt roster were also the same way, with the addition of wing braces, Scootaloo being the same as her friends. Rarity and Shining Armor were also the same way, but with rings on their horns as they had no wings, Sweetie Belle the same as her friends. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight Sparkle, the four princesses, were in all of the above. Finally, Spike had his hands handcuffed behind his back. Sitting to the right of the prisoners was a green skinned human man dressed like a British lawyer. He had a question mark for a face, the dot serving as a mouth, the hook serving as a nose and uni-brow. He had no eyes. Out of Town Hall came another man dressed in red and black with a long white wig, six claw like fingers, and lips that would make Edward G. Robinson jealous. He strode up to the podium and announced in a raspy yet loud voice, "Court is now in session. The Ponies and Dragon of Equestria vs ", here he gave a snide chuckle, "Anvilicious. The bailiff: Mok Swagger (that's me). Our prosecutor, Anon E Muss. Our fair jury. " Here, he looked to the 12 jurors who were more than eager to bump off the convicts and weren't quiet about it. "Rip off their hides!" yelled an Australian poacher. "Let my dogs have them." growled a big, burly, balding loan shark. "Drain them of their emotions!" screeched Chrysalis. "Stare mercilessly at them!" yelled a yellow stallion with bits for a cutie mark. Everyone looked at him. "What?" Mok cleared his throat and continued. "And last but not least, our fair judge: Diesel!" A door on the track coming out of the Town Hall rose open and a black BR 048 diesel shunter with a devious looking face oiled up to the buffers. He blew his horn and yelled "GUILTY!" Anon rose to his feet indignantly. "I object! I'm suppose to give a few statements! Not like it will change the verdict anyways." he muttered. Diesel smirked and said, "Objection sustained. Proceed counselor." Anon walked to the middle of the podium and the convicts and began. "They say that Equestria is a place where friendship knows no bounds. That a stranger is welcome with open hooves. That every denizen is safe under the guidance of their precious, prissy, pony princesses. Well, I call Bolshevik! There are a bunch of instances where a stranger is shunned because he/she is different. That "fair" Celestia isn't as friendly that she let's on. That Twilight Sparkle thinks that the best way to teach a lesson is to arrange events behind a pony's back. That the Wonderbolts promote less-than-honorable qualities in recruits." "Can you prove these statements, counselor?" asked Diesel, although he knew what the answer was. "Yes," answered Anon, "I call Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily Valley to the stand!" Author's Note Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride. Bridle Gossip: Breaking & Entering and Racism"Mr. Smith!" boomed Diesel. "Bring the 3 forward!" A tall black suited man with shaded along with 2 clones, dragged the mares on to the dock. Anon walked up to them. "What are your reactions to seeing something you don't understand?" "Well,-" started Rose, but was cut off. "OH THE HORROR!" shrieked Daisy and fainted. "Guess that sums it up," grumbled Anon. "So that's it? Scream and run?" "Well..." said Lily which was an answer of itself. "It never occurs to you that said strange thing might be friendly, but doesn't have any friends because he/she is being shunned because he/she is different?" Neither of them answered and hung their heads, ears drooping. "I thought so. No further questions." Mr. Smith and his clones dragged the mares off the dock. "I now call the Elements of Harmony to the stand." "Bring them forward." Mr. Smith and a few more clones dragged the six to the dock (Rainbow Dash made it difficult). "What the hay do you think you are?" demanded Rainbow. "Undo these chains so I can pummel you!" Diesel blew his horn. "Order in the court! I have the power to have you immediately incarcerated, Dashie so sit down and shut up!" He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Proceed." "So you think zebras are enchantresses?" "I use to." answered Pinkie Pie. "I even have a song about them." "And if you sing it, I'll see to it that you're institutionalized." retorted Anon. "And what she was doing when you first saw her?" "She was diggin' in the dirt," said Applejack. "And wearing that horrible cloak!" shuddered Rarity. "So what if your friends shunned you because your method of farming was different and they thought your dresses were horrid?" inquired Anon. They started to retaliate, then changed their minds when they saw his point. "So you chase her away into the forest where you come to an array of odd plants. And when she tells you to beware of them, what was your reaction?" The Elements were stunned. Fluttershy just barely managed to speak. "R-Rainbow Dash f-figured she was placing a c-curse on us." "H-How...?" Anon turned to one of the jurors. "Oh doctor, can you call in the source?" A man in a red jacket got up and whistled. A dark purple blob came up with a crack of lightning. It began to take form filled with gears and it's green white pupiless eyes and a white mouth. "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, may I present the Time Eater! Show us the 'curse'!" The Time Eater waved its hand a gear shaped wheel appeared. In the center of the wheel appeared the scene of Zecora "cursing" them, followed by the poisoned jokes along with Twilight literally judging a book by its cover. Then the wheel vanished. Anon stroked his chin and turned to Twilight. "Granted her help wasn't so close, but sate my curiosity. You were a unicorn at the time. Unicorns dabble in magic which involves necromancy, love potions, and yet you denounce curses which is done by unicorns?" "Of c-!" started Twilight then froze then blushed. "Kinda hypocritical when you think about it." "Yes it is." replied Twilight sadly. "Now we go to Zecora's tree where the first thing you assume is that she is committing cannibalism on little Apple Bloom and that she really is the one behind the 'curse'. While I get the fact most of the trespassing and vandalism was because Ms. Dash had upside down wings, it was no excuse for the rest of you to barge in and accuse her of 'cursing' you. What evidence did you have to back that up?" Weren't my wings, Twilight's horn, Rarity's mane, Pinkie's tongue, Applejack's size, and Fluttershy's somewhat cool voice enough?" demanded Rainbow. "But was only a hunch that she did it enough?" "Hey we were seeing something we didn't understand!" But did Zecora deserve all that?" All six hung their heads and said in unison, "guess not." "No further questions, Your Honor." Mr. Smith and his clones the mares off the dock. "Foreman of the jury, have you reached a verdict?" asked Diesel. A bald man with slits for nostrals, a white pallor, and wearing a black robe stood. "We find the defendants Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily Valley guilty of racism in the third degree. We find the defendants Twilight Sparkle, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Rarity Belle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack guilty of trespassing, breaking and entering. Here are the sentences." He produced a piece of paper and levitated to Mok. The balliff cleared his throat and read: "The defendants Roseluck Daisy and Lily are to wear collars that will give them a little zap whenever they have their little oh the horror moments. The collars will come off by themselves after one of two moments: That these 3 have learned their lesson or when they haven't, the latter of which will beep, signaling that they need to be institutionalized. Now the other 6 defendants are to stay away from Ms. Zecora for a month. They will communicate using Spike the Dragon and Apple Bloom, the only 2 to be reasonable during that fiasco." "Proceed." said Diesel. Another man in black, this time with a hood and wrinkly face, got out of the jury box, walked up to the Flower Trio and slipped red collars on their necks. "Now release those 3 and continue with this." ordered Diesel. Mr. Smith his clones obliged and the 3 mares trudged away. "I now call Ms. Twilight Sparkle and Applejack to the stand." said Anon. Author's Note This was done via phone and formats vary depending on what device is used. Winter Wrap Up: Animal AbuseAfter Twilight and Applejack we're led onto the dock and free to speak, Anon proceeded. "You both know the ins and outs of Winter Wrap Up, correct?" "Correct." They answered. "You both do your own thing: Applejack is in charge of the sowing of crops and Twilight is the brains behind the whole thing." "Got that right fer me." said Applejack. "I wasn't always the organizer." said Twilight. "But I guess it'd defeat the purpose of telling you something you already know." "True. I do know that you were desperate to fit in, so desperate that you would break the rules." Twilight hung her head. "It's true. I was getting so desperate that-" she trailed off, thinking it was pointless to continue. But Anon rolled his hand. "I believe Ms. Applejack deserves to hear it from a friend." Twilight obliged. "Every time I took part in a task, I would fail. I'm not one to take failure lightly. So the more I failed, the desperate I was. Then when I failed the crop task and Applejack yelled at me, it only reminded me of how much of a screw up I was up to that point." She sounded close to tearing up. "I began to feel like I couldn't do anything right." Applejack's jaw fell open. She felt like she had gone a little overboard that day, but she didn't think the circumstances were THAT bad. "A'm sorry, Sugarcube. Ah was just so mad that you made that mess of all our hard work. You were just trying to find yerself a place in all that mish mash. Can ya forgive me?" "I do." And they nuzzled. Anon cleared his throat "No further questions for Ms. Applejack. I thought we agreed to use moments like that for interludes. But I have some for you, Ms. Sparkle." After Applejack was seated, Anon turned to Twilight. "During your times as Celestia's student, did your studies cover dragons?" Twilight thought for a moment then said, "Not as much as I should've." Anon gave her a very flat stare. "You mean all those times that drakling has been your assistant, you never once considered his health?" "Hey I did study dragons a few times to know about their health?" "Then you know dragons are cold blooded." "Yes!" "Then why did you leave him stranded on a plate of ice during Winter Wrap Up?" "It was a joke!" Anon held up a sign of read "a joke?" Then he walked over to Spike. "How did it feel, waking up to some bitter cold water?" Spike shuddered. "It felt very very cold, like the inside of an ice cube. I thought I was going to die the moment I went out." Anon turned right around and looked pointedly at Twilight who looked distraught. "Dear Celestia," she whispered. "I could've killed Spike." She buried her head, bursting into tears and muttering, "I could've killed Spike." "Has the jury reached a verdict, Mr. Foreman?" asked Diesel. "We find the defendant Twilight Sparkle guilty of animal abuse." He then passed the sentence to Mok who read: "Princess Twilight Sparkle is to spend the rest of her days in her castle studying dragons and is forbidden to leave there until she knows enough so she won't potentially kill her assistant." "Leave her on the dock," said Anon, "this next one involves her and the little dragon too." Author's Note The interludes are going to be like a recess. Here Anon will ask ponies questions that aren't serious enough to warrant a conviction. Four people have added this story to their favorites. Not that I'm flattered, but did any of you actually read this and not favorite it because of what's on the tin? This story hasn't been on her for 12 hours and already there's 2 dislikes. Are you being negative about it already? It feels like you're not even giving it a chance. Owl's Well That Ends Well: Negligence and IncriminationOnce Spike was on the dock, Anon started. "Twilight, do you recall acquiring an owl?" "Why yes. Owloscious is his name." "Spike, what do you recall feeling about this... Owloscious?" Spike hung his head and began. "When it was just me and Twilight, it felt so good because she was always there for me and I was there for her; she'd want something and I gave it to her. Then when Owloscious came along, it felt like he was always there. When she'd want something, he gave it to her. The more that happened, the more jealous I became. Then along came the burnt book. The sole reason I never said anything about it was because Twilight is so OCD that she can't even keep calm when one measly book is misshelved and panics when ONE little part of a simple plan goes wrong. After which, I wanted to make it look like he killed a mouse. I'm sure you know the rest." Twilight also hung her head. "The excuse of being with Owloscious because of Spike's bedtime was a pretty good excuse. Looking back, though..." "You know Twilight," said Anon, "we think about neither the consequences of our actions nor the severity of said consequences, until we do the deed. Sometimes, they're too big to fix, mostly to the point of unfixable." "Has the jury reached a verdict, Mr. Foreman?" asked Diesel. "We have, your honor." said the foreman. "We find both defendants not guilty." The convicts were shocked. Anon looked over the 2 on the dock. "Don't get your hopes up. There's still more to come." Diesel cleared his throat. "I declare a recess for half an hour. During that time, the accused shall be free to speak. After that, the gags go back on. Court adjourned for half an hour." With that, he tooted his horn and reversed into his shed. Author's Note Up next: Anon offers suggestions on how to keep a party pony from a party long enough and discusses the girls' first triple G. A quick address: An excuse to address issues of the show . Isn't that the point of Accusation Fics? To address issues of the show that we the viewers feel are left unresolved and act as our own canons to so that either the guilty party receives their commuppance, said issue has a better ending than the show gave it, or both? Interlude: Party of One, Boast Busters, Best Night EverAnon took off his wig and scratched his head. "Man, that itched. How do those Brits stand it? Grin and bear it?" He walked over to the convicts who looked at him with mixed emotions: some where hostile, others were frightened, others were indistinguishable. "Hey, none of this would be happening if any of you had those issues resolved in a better way." Celestia continued to stare at him angrily. "I care about my little ponies and would help them with any problem." Anon smirked. "Prepare to eat your own words, Tia. Now I suppose you all are wondering why I'm taking part in this." "Eyup," boomed Big Mac. "He speaks for all of us," said Shining. Anon scratched his head again. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. I'm from a world where Equestria isn't unknown. Over there, it is the center of stories that are suppose to teach kids-or rather foals-how to act as better friends and better ways to handle problems." "Suppose to?" asked Cheerilee. Anon took a deep breath. "Some, uh, lessons were handled the wrong way. But we'll cover those later. Now can I speak with you 6 privately?" The Elements looked rather reluctant. "Certainly not!" snapped Shining. "I will not stand by and let you cor-" "Oh give it a break , princey," Anon fired back, "name one time you had listened to your sister and actually did something about it." Beat. "Exactly. Now we'll discuss that later, but in the mean time," he surveyed the 6 mares, "why don't you tell me what the purpose of a surprise party is." Pinkie Pie literally sprung up and spouted off at rapid speed, "The-purpose-of-surprise-a-party-is-to-give-your-bestest-friend(s)-a-surprise-that-will-lead-them-to-have-the-bestest-times-of-their-lives!" "Correct," said Anon, "now Ms. Pie, how hard would you think it'd be to keep a surprise party from you?" "Super duper hard! Nopony keeps a party from me!" "Yet these 5 did," Anon waved his hand over her friends, "and we all know it was no easy feat, especially with you being the pony of honor." "True blue," agreed Pinkie, "they got me good." "Especially when they-or rather Spike-convinced you that it was a goodbye party becuase they didn't want ot be friends anymore," finished Anon. Pinkie's friends immediately looked at the little dragon who was beginning to wish he was incarcerated than face the stares they were giving him. "Spikey, why would you say such a thing to Pinkie Pie?" demanded Rarity. "I...I...I didn't know what to say!" protested Spike. "She had that crazy look in her eyes that said if I didn't answer, something would happen!" Tears built up as he said, "my life began to flash before my eyes!" Rainbow Dash coughed, "Yeah, when I came to get her for the party, she had Gummy at a table with all these inanimate objects and was talking to them while giving them her own voice." "Surely it couldn't have been that bad, could it!" asked Rarity. Rainbow Dash gave her a flat stare. "You were replaced by a ball of lint, I by a pile of rocks, Applejack by a bucket of turnips, and Fluttershy by a bag of flour." Practically, everypony that was involved started to look sheepish. "Yeeeeeah," mumbled Twilight, "Maybe we could've handled keeping it a surprise." "YA THINK?!?" screamed Anon. He calmed himself, then turned to the Time Eater. "Maybe it's best if you see for yourself." "Wow," said Applejack, "Ah don't think any of us knew that you cared for friends THAT much." "Yeah," added Spike "I'm sorry for saying that they didn't care about you Pinkie." "Aw, I forgave you when we had that party," answered Pinkie Pie. "Considering the circumstances, the easy forgiveness is warranted," said Anon, "although why didn't you just ask Pinkie Pie to help set up a party for an anonymous pony that made them "Pinkie Promise" to not to reveal anything until the party was completed and THEN reveal that she was the Very Important Pony?" Silence followed as the Mane 6 and Spike considered his words. Pinkie Pie was the first to react, and when she did, you could hear a glass window break to smitheernies; the rest weren't too far behind. "You're kidding me." "Weeeeeeel, I probably would've found out a lot sooner if they did that," tittered Pinkie Pie. Anon scratched his chin for a moment, then sighed. "I suppose so. Well, it's not like I can't exactly charge you for scaring the life out of some of my friends, just like I can't charge you 3 big mouths for damaging public property." Rainbow Dash seethed in fury. "And what is that suppose to mean?" "it means that show ponies all boast, sometimes they don't mean to sound like a school filly showing off her ribbons." Applejack looked at him. "What does that have to do with anything?" Anon looked back. "You are a competitive pony, right?" "Right." Then he turned to Rainbow Dash. "And you never miss a chance to answer to a challenge?" "Hay no!" Then he turned to Rarity. "And you..?" "Only when it comes to fashion." "Right... Anyhoo, what would your reactions be if someone told you that they were better than you?" "I'd lick 'em till they'd eat my dust!" snorted Rainbow Dash. "Works for me," put in Applejack. "Gross but hear hear!" finished Rarity. "Just like you did with Trixie." snarked Anon. "Hey-" started Rainbow Dash. "Is for horses," retorted Anon. Then he got up in her face. "And so is 'magic shmagic. Boooo!' What the hell, Rainbow? You were becoming friends with unicorn who was studying magic at the time. No wonder Twilight became a scared pony." "I'll have you know that I was justified!" snapped Twilight. "I didn't want to be seen as a show off!" "You were going to teach Trixie a lesson in a magic duel, not kill her. Ponies like Trixie show off because that's part and parcel of the show gig. Circus barkers and ringmasters do it all the time, they yell about how great the shows, then 'show off' what they've been shouting about. Does that make them a show off?" Once again, they considered his words. Pinkie Pie answered for them. "Of course not, silly. They're just doing their jobs. I've been to enough circuses to know." "And I've been to enough fashion shows and tailored to enough celebrities to know what you're talking about," added Rarity. "So yer saying-" started Applejack. "That when Trixie was boasting, she was either trying to earn a few bits and/or make ponies smile, albeit in her own way." The mares looked sadder still. "And if I'm not mistaken, your attitudes is what made Twilight think that showing off made one a bad pony and was the same thing as bragging." "Isn't it?" asked Twilight. "We'll, it depends on how he/she is showing off," explained Anon. "If he/she is standing up to a bully," here his eyes flashed towards 4 certain fillies, "and not rub it in there offender's face, then he/she is just standing up for his/her friends. Although, considering how some ponies were making sound like you had to 'show off', your behavior was a little justified. But let's digress to another topic. I can't have you 3 doing community service in Ponyville for being loudmouths, but I can have 2 ponies with the same voice do community service in Canterlot." When that was said, he turned his eyes on Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. "But what did we do?" ask Fluttershy. "I'm sure you 2 and the rest learned about how dreams don't really come true, ponies having different versions of partying, yadda yadda, fine print, boiler point. Fluttershy also learned that animals run from strangers, right?" Fluttershy nodded meekly. "I just wanted to be their friend. I don't know why they'd run from me." Anon looked at her. "Have your animal friends told you nothing about Fight or Flight?" "What?" Anon palm smacked his forehead. "When an animal feels cornered, it's instinct will be either to run or fight back, i.e Fight or Flight. When the Canterlot animals saw you running, they didn't know you and turned tail was the first thing that came to mind." Fluttershy hung her head. "Oh that would explain a lot." You're sanity slippage helped a lot," he deadpanned. "But what did I do?!? demanded Pinkie Pie. "Not everyone appreciates being told to play something they're uncomfortable with. Nor do they appreciate being forced to dance out of the blue. Ponyville doesn't extend to the whole world so your shenanigans won't be passed off in the blink of an eye. Heck, in one instant you were almost arrested." "WAS NOT!" "So that wasn't a cop that told you the store was closed so soon after you got into the face of a cool and possibly scarred him for life, prompting the mother to call said cop?" Pinkie started to answer defiantly...then considered saying "Ok, I'll give you that." "Considering it livened up the party, we'll let that one go. But ah just one more thing," rasped Anon. He turned to Rarity. "Blueblud- Blueba- Blueby-" he smacked his chin- "Blueblood knows he's a jerk because it's his 'Fight' instinct." "What?" "Every place has gold diggers, Rarity. You aren't the first mare wanting to get all cozy with him because of his title. The first ones he let down gently, they didn't take it lightly. I suspect he was probably tired of the whole 'fall in love with prince for monetary gain' shtick. Now let us commence with the trial." Author's Note Just Swarm of the Century and that's it for Season 1. Come Season 2 and I'm going to have some fun. Swarm of the Century: Property DamageDiesel blew his horn. "Court is now back in session. Call the next defendants." "I call Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy for Property Damage." rasped Mok. Mr. Smith and his clones dragged the 3 aforementioned mares to the eight of the stand. Anon started with Fluttershy. "Now you come to meet a Parasprite. However, you've never seen one before so you're first reaction is to take it home?" Fluttershy nodded. "It looked so cute and I love cute animals." "And the only reason you couldn't return it was for that reason." "That and it was hard to tell which one was the original after they multiplied." "I'll give you that last one," said Anon. "But the fact remains that the whole incident could've been avoided if you knew what happens when you take an animal from it's natural habitat." Not giving her chance to answer, he slid over to Twilight and said, "And now you, Celestia's former lapdog-" "Hey! I am not her lapdog!" Anon looked Kubrick -aly at her. (For you read on, did you ever hear about the Kubrick Stare?) "What would you do if a human being punched Celestia in the face?" "I'd teach him a lesson, alongside my friends!" answered Twilight. "Until he went unconscious and nearly died?" "Well uh-" "Or never minding the fact that Celestia can take her of herself and suffer VERY minimal damage?" "Well uh-" "OR taking into consideration of what said human was going through, i.e being forced from his home, his friends, his family, and having no way to go back." Twilight's ears folded back. "Well uh, when you put it that way..." "So when you heard that Celestia was coming for a visit, you, a mere student at the time, decided to use a spell on them without considering the consequences...at all." Twilight opened her muzzle to object...and Anon literally zipped her...lips shut. Twilight could still breath through her nose, but couldn't undo it with a muted horn. Anon grinned. "I've always wanted to do that. Now you know how it feels to be on the receiving end." After channeling the laugh of the woodpeckers, he scooted over to Pinkie Pie and said, "And last, but not least, we have the skewered priorities pony." "My priorities were NOT skewered!" snapped the pink pony. "My priorities were to get the Parasprites out of Ponyville! I tried to tell my friends but they wouldn't listen!" "True, but did any of your statements involve any hint of knowing how to get rid of the Parasprites? Like 'Hey! I know how to deal with Parasprites!' or 'I've dealt with these bugs before so I know what to do!'" Like Twilight, Pinkie Pie started to say something...but this time, she decided against it and her mane deflated a little. Anon smirked. "No further questions." "Has the jury reached a verdict?" asked Diesel. "We have, Your Honor," answered the foreman. "We find all 3 defendants guilty." He levitated a paper over to Mok. Mok read, "The defendants Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy are hereby sentenced to cleaning up Ponyville every Sunday for the rest of their lives." Diesel blew his horn. "Case dismissed." Anon turned to Mr. Smith and his clones. "Leave them up there. Bring the dragon, the other 3 and Sunbutt. We're going to find out just hit slipped Twilight's sparkly mind about not having to send weekly reports." Author's Note Formats may vary. I've seen/read one too many times when Twilight abuses the "zipped lip" spell and isn't remotely sorry for it. Someone comment with a video of the Joker laughing, cuz we're heading for the juicy stuff!
Court is now in session/Opening StatementPONYVILLE SQUARE The town certainly was a sight for sore eyes. Buildings were ram-shackled. The sky was a dark red with nary a cloud in the sky. Ponies were out and about, looking at the strange sight before them: In place of the fountain was a large dock, like a stage. Several feet from it was a VERY large podium. For some reason, there was a set of buffers that ended a piece of track coming out of the refurbished Town Hall. Off to the side were 12 seats, 2 rows of 6, occupied by several sinister looking jurors, Chrysalis among them. In between the terrified crowd and the dock were several shackled ponies and one dragon. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Big Macintosh, Cheerilee, the Flower Trio, and Spoiled Rich all had manacles on their hooves. Even little Apple Bloom, Babs Seed, and Diamond Tiara were the same way. Rainbow Dash, her parents, Fluttershy, and the current Wonderbolt roster were also the same way, with the addition of wing braces, Scootaloo being the same as her friends. Rarity and Shining Armor were also the same way, but with rings on their horns as they had no wings, Sweetie Belle the same as her friends. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight Sparkle, the four princesses, were in all of the above. Finally, Spike had his hands handcuffed behind his back. Sitting to the right of the prisoners was a green skinned human man dressed like a British lawyer. He had a question mark for a face, the dot serving as a mouth, the hook serving as a nose and uni-brow. He had no eyes. Out of Town Hall came another man dressed in red and black with a long white wig, six claw like fingers, and lips that would make Edward G. Robinson jealous. He strode up to the podium and announced in a raspy yet loud voice, "Court is now in session. The Ponies and Dragon of Equestria vs ", here he gave a snide chuckle, "Anvilicious. The bailiff: Mok Swagger (that's me). Our prosecutor, Anon E Muss. Our fair jury. " Here, he looked to the 12 jurors who were more than eager to bump off the convicts and weren't quiet about it. "Rip off their hides!" yelled an Australian poacher. "Let my dogs have them." growled a big, burly, balding loan shark. "Drain them of their emotions!" screeched Chrysalis. "Stare mercilessly at them!" yelled a yellow stallion with bits for a cutie mark. Everyone looked at him. "What?" Mok cleared his throat and continued. "And last but not least, our fair judge: Diesel!" A door on the track coming out of the Town Hall rose open and a black BR 048 diesel shunter with a devious looking face oiled up to the buffers. He blew his horn and yelled "GUILTY!" Anon rose to his feet indignantly. "I object! I'm suppose to give a few statements! Not like it will change the verdict anyways." he muttered. Diesel smirked and said, "Objection sustained. Proceed counselor." Anon walked to the middle of the podium and the convicts and began. "They say that Equestria is a place where friendship knows no bounds. That a stranger is welcome with open hooves. That every denizen is safe under the guidance of their precious, prissy, pony princesses. Well, I call Bolshevik! There are a bunch of instances where a stranger is shunned because he/she is different. That "fair" Celestia isn't as friendly that she let's on. That Twilight Sparkle thinks that the best way to teach a lesson is to arrange events behind a pony's back. That the Wonderbolts promote less-than-honorable qualities in recruits." "Can you prove these statements, counselor?" asked Diesel, although he knew what the answer was. "Yes," answered Anon, "I call Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily Valley to the stand!" Author's Note Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Bridle Gossip: Breaking & Entering and Racism"Mr. Smith!" boomed Diesel. "Bring the 3 forward!" A tall black suited man with shaded along with 2 clones, dragged the mares on to the dock. Anon walked up to them. "What are your reactions to seeing something you don't understand?" "Well,-" started Rose, but was cut off. "OH THE HORROR!" shrieked Daisy and fainted. "Guess that sums it up," grumbled Anon. "So that's it? Scream and run?" "Well..." said Lily which was an answer of itself. "It never occurs to you that said strange thing might be friendly, but doesn't have any friends because he/she is being shunned because he/she is different?" Neither of them answered and hung their heads, ears drooping. "I thought so. No further questions." Mr. Smith and his clones dragged the mares off the dock. "I now call the Elements of Harmony to the stand." "Bring them forward." Mr. Smith and a few more clones dragged the six to the dock (Rainbow Dash made it difficult). "What the hay do you think you are?" demanded Rainbow. "Undo these chains so I can pummel you!" Diesel blew his horn. "Order in the court! I have the power to have you immediately incarcerated, Dashie so sit down and shut up!" He inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Proceed." "So you think zebras are enchantresses?" "I use to." answered Pinkie Pie. "I even have a song about them." "And if you sing it, I'll see to it that you're institutionalized." retorted Anon. "And what she was doing when you first saw her?" "She was diggin' in the dirt," said Applejack. "And wearing that horrible cloak!" shuddered Rarity. "So what if your friends shunned you because your method of farming was different and they thought your dresses were horrid?" inquired Anon. They started to retaliate, then changed their minds when they saw his point. "So you chase her away into the forest where you come to an array of odd plants. And when she tells you to beware of them, what was your reaction?" The Elements were stunned. Fluttershy just barely managed to speak. "R-Rainbow Dash f-figured she was placing a c-curse on us." "H-How...?" Anon turned to one of the jurors. "Oh doctor, can you call in the source?" A man in a red jacket got up and whistled. A dark purple blob came up with a crack of lightning. It began to take form filled with gears and it's green white pupiless eyes and a white mouth. "Ladies and gentlemen, mares and stallions, may I present the Time Eater! Show us the 'curse'!" The Time Eater waved its hand a gear shaped wheel appeared. In the center of the wheel appeared the scene of Zecora "cursing" them, followed by the poisoned jokes along with Twilight literally judging a book by its cover. Then the wheel vanished. Anon stroked his chin and turned to Twilight. "Granted her help wasn't so close, but sate my curiosity. You were a unicorn at the time. Unicorns dabble in magic which involves necromancy, love potions, and yet you denounce curses which is done by unicorns?" "Of c-!" started Twilight then froze then blushed. "Kinda hypocritical when you think about it." "Yes it is." replied Twilight sadly. "Now we go to Zecora's tree where the first thing you assume is that she is committing cannibalism on little Apple Bloom and that she really is the one behind the 'curse'. While I get the fact most of the trespassing and vandalism was because Ms. Dash had upside down wings, it was no excuse for the rest of you to barge in and accuse her of 'cursing' you. What evidence did you have to back that up?" Weren't my wings, Twilight's horn, Rarity's mane, Pinkie's tongue, Applejack's size, and Fluttershy's somewhat cool voice enough?" demanded Rainbow. "But was only a hunch that she did it enough?" "Hey we were seeing something we didn't understand!" But did Zecora deserve all that?" All six hung their heads and said in unison, "guess not." "No further questions, Your Honor." Mr. Smith and his clones the mares off the dock. "Foreman of the jury, have you reached a verdict?" asked Diesel. A bald man with slits for nostrals, a white pallor, and wearing a black robe stood. "We find the defendants Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily Valley guilty of racism in the third degree. We find the defendants Twilight Sparkle, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Rarity Belle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack guilty of trespassing, breaking and entering. Here are the sentences." He produced a piece of paper and levitated to Mok. The balliff cleared his throat and read: "The defendants Roseluck Daisy and Lily are to wear collars that will give them a little zap whenever they have their little oh the horror moments. The collars will come off by themselves after one of two moments: That these 3 have learned their lesson or when they haven't, the latter of which will beep, signaling that they need to be institutionalized. Now the other 6 defendants are to stay away from Ms. Zecora for a month. They will communicate using Spike the Dragon and Apple Bloom, the only 2 to be reasonable during that fiasco." "Proceed." said Diesel. Another man in black, this time with a hood and wrinkly face, got out of the jury box, walked up to the Flower Trio and slipped red collars on their necks. "Now release those 3 and continue with this." ordered Diesel. Mr. Smith his clones obliged and the 3 mares trudged away. "I now call Ms. Twilight Sparkle and Applejack to the stand." said Anon. Author's Note This was done via phone and formats vary depending on what device is used.
Winter Wrap Up: Animal AbuseAfter Twilight and Applejack we're led onto the dock and free to speak, Anon proceeded. "You both know the ins and outs of Winter Wrap Up, correct?" "Correct." They answered. "You both do your own thing: Applejack is in charge of the sowing of crops and Twilight is the brains behind the whole thing." "Got that right fer me." said Applejack. "I wasn't always the organizer." said Twilight. "But I guess it'd defeat the purpose of telling you something you already know." "True. I do know that you were desperate to fit in, so desperate that you would break the rules." Twilight hung her head. "It's true. I was getting so desperate that-" she trailed off, thinking it was pointless to continue. But Anon rolled his hand. "I believe Ms. Applejack deserves to hear it from a friend." Twilight obliged. "Every time I took part in a task, I would fail. I'm not one to take failure lightly. So the more I failed, the desperate I was. Then when I failed the crop task and Applejack yelled at me, it only reminded me of how much of a screw up I was up to that point." She sounded close to tearing up. "I began to feel like I couldn't do anything right." Applejack's jaw fell open. She felt like she had gone a little overboard that day, but she didn't think the circumstances were THAT bad. "A'm sorry, Sugarcube. Ah was just so mad that you made that mess of all our hard work. You were just trying to find yerself a place in all that mish mash. Can ya forgive me?" "I do." And they nuzzled. Anon cleared his throat "No further questions for Ms. Applejack. I thought we agreed to use moments like that for interludes. But I have some for you, Ms. Sparkle." After Applejack was seated, Anon turned to Twilight. "During your times as Celestia's student, did your studies cover dragons?" Twilight thought for a moment then said, "Not as much as I should've." Anon gave her a very flat stare. "You mean all those times that drakling has been your assistant, you never once considered his health?" "Hey I did study dragons a few times to know about their health?" "Then you know dragons are cold blooded." "Yes!" "Then why did you leave him stranded on a plate of ice during Winter Wrap Up?" "It was a joke!" Anon held up a sign of read "a joke?" Then he walked over to Spike. "How did it feel, waking up to some bitter cold water?" Spike shuddered. "It felt very very cold, like the inside of an ice cube. I thought I was going to die the moment I went out." Anon turned right around and looked pointedly at Twilight who looked distraught. "Dear Celestia," she whispered. "I could've killed Spike." She buried her head, bursting into tears and muttering, "I could've killed Spike." "Has the jury reached a verdict, Mr. Foreman?" asked Diesel. "We find the defendant Twilight Sparkle guilty of animal abuse." He then passed the sentence to Mok who read: "Princess Twilight Sparkle is to spend the rest of her days in her castle studying dragons and is forbidden to leave there until she knows enough so she won't potentially kill her assistant." "Leave her on the dock," said Anon, "this next one involves her and the little dragon too." Author's Note The interludes are going to be like a recess. Here Anon will ask ponies questions that aren't serious enough to warrant a conviction. Four people have added this story to their favorites. Not that I'm flattered, but did any of you actually read this and not favorite it because of what's on the tin? This story hasn't been on her for 12 hours and already there's 2 dislikes. Are you being negative about it already? It feels like you're not even giving it a chance.
Owl's Well That Ends Well: Negligence and IncriminationOnce Spike was on the dock, Anon started. "Twilight, do you recall acquiring an owl?" "Why yes. Owloscious is his name." "Spike, what do you recall feeling about this... Owloscious?" Spike hung his head and began. "When it was just me and Twilight, it felt so good because she was always there for me and I was there for her; she'd want something and I gave it to her. Then when Owloscious came along, it felt like he was always there. When she'd want something, he gave it to her. The more that happened, the more jealous I became. Then along came the burnt book. The sole reason I never said anything about it was because Twilight is so OCD that she can't even keep calm when one measly book is misshelved and panics when ONE little part of a simple plan goes wrong. After which, I wanted to make it look like he killed a mouse. I'm sure you know the rest." Twilight also hung her head. "The excuse of being with Owloscious because of Spike's bedtime was a pretty good excuse. Looking back, though..." "You know Twilight," said Anon, "we think about neither the consequences of our actions nor the severity of said consequences, until we do the deed. Sometimes, they're too big to fix, mostly to the point of unfixable." "Has the jury reached a verdict, Mr. Foreman?" asked Diesel. "We have, your honor." said the foreman. "We find both defendants not guilty." The convicts were shocked. Anon looked over the 2 on the dock. "Don't get your hopes up. There's still more to come." Diesel cleared his throat. "I declare a recess for half an hour. During that time, the accused shall be free to speak. After that, the gags go back on. Court adjourned for half an hour." With that, he tooted his horn and reversed into his shed. Author's Note Up next: Anon offers suggestions on how to keep a party pony from a party long enough and discusses the girls' first triple G. A quick address: An excuse to address issues of the show . Isn't that the point of Accusation Fics? To address issues of the show that we the viewers feel are left unresolved and act as our own canons to so that either the guilty party receives their commuppance, said issue has a better ending than the show gave it, or both?
Interlude: Party of One, Boast Busters, Best Night EverAnon took off his wig and scratched his head. "Man, that itched. How do those Brits stand it? Grin and bear it?" He walked over to the convicts who looked at him with mixed emotions: some where hostile, others were frightened, others were indistinguishable. "Hey, none of this would be happening if any of you had those issues resolved in a better way." Celestia continued to stare at him angrily. "I care about my little ponies and would help them with any problem." Anon smirked. "Prepare to eat your own words, Tia. Now I suppose you all are wondering why I'm taking part in this." "Eyup," boomed Big Mac. "He speaks for all of us," said Shining. Anon scratched his head again. "I'm not going to sugar coat it. I'm from a world where Equestria isn't unknown. Over there, it is the center of stories that are suppose to teach kids-or rather foals-how to act as better friends and better ways to handle problems." "Suppose to?" asked Cheerilee. Anon took a deep breath. "Some, uh, lessons were handled the wrong way. But we'll cover those later. Now can I speak with you 6 privately?" The Elements looked rather reluctant. "Certainly not!" snapped Shining. "I will not stand by and let you cor-" "Oh give it a break , princey," Anon fired back, "name one time you had listened to your sister and actually did something about it." Beat. "Exactly. Now we'll discuss that later, but in the mean time," he surveyed the 6 mares, "why don't you tell me what the purpose of a surprise party is." Pinkie Pie literally sprung up and spouted off at rapid speed, "The-purpose-of-surprise-a-party-is-to-give-your-bestest-friend(s)-a-surprise-that-will-lead-them-to-have-the-bestest-times-of-their-lives!" "Correct," said Anon, "now Ms. Pie, how hard would you think it'd be to keep a surprise party from you?" "Super duper hard! Nopony keeps a party from me!" "Yet these 5 did," Anon waved his hand over her friends, "and we all know it was no easy feat, especially with you being the pony of honor." "True blue," agreed Pinkie, "they got me good." "Especially when they-or rather Spike-convinced you that it was a goodbye party becuase they didn't want ot be friends anymore," finished Anon. Pinkie's friends immediately looked at the little dragon who was beginning to wish he was incarcerated than face the stares they were giving him. "Spikey, why would you say such a thing to Pinkie Pie?" demanded Rarity. "I...I...I didn't know what to say!" protested Spike. "She had that crazy look in her eyes that said if I didn't answer, something would happen!" Tears built up as he said, "my life began to flash before my eyes!" Rainbow Dash coughed, "Yeah, when I came to get her for the party, she had Gummy at a table with all these inanimate objects and was talking to them while giving them her own voice." "Surely it couldn't have been that bad, could it!" asked Rarity. Rainbow Dash gave her a flat stare. "You were replaced by a ball of lint, I by a pile of rocks, Applejack by a bucket of turnips, and Fluttershy by a bag of flour." Practically, everypony that was involved started to look sheepish. "Yeeeeeah," mumbled Twilight, "Maybe we could've handled keeping it a surprise." "YA THINK?!?" screamed Anon. He calmed himself, then turned to the Time Eater. "Maybe it's best if you see for yourself." "Wow," said Applejack, "Ah don't think any of us knew that you cared for friends THAT much." "Yeah," added Spike "I'm sorry for saying that they didn't care about you Pinkie." "Aw, I forgave you when we had that party," answered Pinkie Pie. "Considering the circumstances, the easy forgiveness is warranted," said Anon, "although why didn't you just ask Pinkie Pie to help set up a party for an anonymous pony that made them "Pinkie Promise" to not to reveal anything until the party was completed and THEN reveal that she was the Very Important Pony?" Silence followed as the Mane 6 and Spike considered his words. Pinkie Pie was the first to react, and when she did, you could hear a glass window break to smitheernies; the rest weren't too far behind. "You're kidding me." "Weeeeeeel, I probably would've found out a lot sooner if they did that," tittered Pinkie Pie. Anon scratched his chin for a moment, then sighed. "I suppose so. Well, it's not like I can't exactly charge you for scaring the life out of some of my friends, just like I can't charge you 3 big mouths for damaging public property." Rainbow Dash seethed in fury. "And what is that suppose to mean?" "it means that show ponies all boast, sometimes they don't mean to sound like a school filly showing off her ribbons." Applejack looked at him. "What does that have to do with anything?" Anon looked back. "You are a competitive pony, right?" "Right." Then he turned to Rainbow Dash. "And you never miss a chance to answer to a challenge?" "Hay no!" Then he turned to Rarity. "And you..?" "Only when it comes to fashion." "Right... Anyhoo, what would your reactions be if someone told you that they were better than you?" "I'd lick 'em till they'd eat my dust!" snorted Rainbow Dash. "Works for me," put in Applejack. "Gross but hear hear!" finished Rarity. "Just like you did with Trixie." snarked Anon. "Hey-" started Rainbow Dash. "Is for horses," retorted Anon. Then he got up in her face. "And so is 'magic shmagic. Boooo!' What the hell, Rainbow? You were becoming friends with unicorn who was studying magic at the time. No wonder Twilight became a scared pony." "I'll have you know that I was justified!" snapped Twilight. "I didn't want to be seen as a show off!" "You were going to teach Trixie a lesson in a magic duel, not kill her. Ponies like Trixie show off because that's part and parcel of the show gig. Circus barkers and ringmasters do it all the time, they yell about how great the shows, then 'show off' what they've been shouting about. Does that make them a show off?" Once again, they considered his words. Pinkie Pie answered for them. "Of course not, silly. They're just doing their jobs. I've been to enough circuses to know." "And I've been to enough fashion shows and tailored to enough celebrities to know what you're talking about," added Rarity. "So yer saying-" started Applejack. "That when Trixie was boasting, she was either trying to earn a few bits and/or make ponies smile, albeit in her own way." The mares looked sadder still. "And if I'm not mistaken, your attitudes is what made Twilight think that showing off made one a bad pony and was the same thing as bragging." "Isn't it?" asked Twilight. "We'll, it depends on how he/she is showing off," explained Anon. "If he/she is standing up to a bully," here his eyes flashed towards 4 certain fillies, "and not rub it in there offender's face, then he/she is just standing up for his/her friends. Although, considering how some ponies were making sound like you had to 'show off', your behavior was a little justified. But let's digress to another topic. I can't have you 3 doing community service in Ponyville for being loudmouths, but I can have 2 ponies with the same voice do community service in Canterlot." When that was said, he turned his eyes on Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. "But what did we do?" ask Fluttershy. "I'm sure you 2 and the rest learned about how dreams don't really come true, ponies having different versions of partying, yadda yadda, fine print, boiler point. Fluttershy also learned that animals run from strangers, right?" Fluttershy nodded meekly. "I just wanted to be their friend. I don't know why they'd run from me." Anon looked at her. "Have your animal friends told you nothing about Fight or Flight?" "What?" Anon palm smacked his forehead. "When an animal feels cornered, it's instinct will be either to run or fight back, i.e Fight or Flight. When the Canterlot animals saw you running, they didn't know you and turned tail was the first thing that came to mind." Fluttershy hung her head. "Oh that would explain a lot." You're sanity slippage helped a lot," he deadpanned. "But what did I do?!? demanded Pinkie Pie. "Not everyone appreciates being told to play something they're uncomfortable with. Nor do they appreciate being forced to dance out of the blue. Ponyville doesn't extend to the whole world so your shenanigans won't be passed off in the blink of an eye. Heck, in one instant you were almost arrested." "WAS NOT!" "So that wasn't a cop that told you the store was closed so soon after you got into the face of a cool and possibly scarred him for life, prompting the mother to call said cop?" Pinkie started to answer defiantly...then considered saying "Ok, I'll give you that." "Considering it livened up the party, we'll let that one go. But ah just one more thing," rasped Anon. He turned to Rarity. "Blueblud- Blueba- Blueby-" he smacked his chin- "Blueblood knows he's a jerk because it's his 'Fight' instinct." "What?" "Every place has gold diggers, Rarity. You aren't the first mare wanting to get all cozy with him because of his title. The first ones he let down gently, they didn't take it lightly. I suspect he was probably tired of the whole 'fall in love with prince for monetary gain' shtick. Now let us commence with the trial." Author's Note Just Swarm of the Century and that's it for Season 1. Come Season 2 and I'm going to have some fun.
Swarm of the Century: Property DamageDiesel blew his horn. "Court is now back in session. Call the next defendants." "I call Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy for Property Damage." rasped Mok. Mr. Smith and his clones dragged the 3 aforementioned mares to the eight of the stand. Anon started with Fluttershy. "Now you come to meet a Parasprite. However, you've never seen one before so you're first reaction is to take it home?" Fluttershy nodded. "It looked so cute and I love cute animals." "And the only reason you couldn't return it was for that reason." "That and it was hard to tell which one was the original after they multiplied." "I'll give you that last one," said Anon. "But the fact remains that the whole incident could've been avoided if you knew what happens when you take an animal from it's natural habitat." Not giving her chance to answer, he slid over to Twilight and said, "And now you, Celestia's former lapdog-" "Hey! I am not her lapdog!" Anon looked Kubrick -aly at her. (For you read on, did you ever hear about the Kubrick Stare?) "What would you do if a human being punched Celestia in the face?" "I'd teach him a lesson, alongside my friends!" answered Twilight. "Until he went unconscious and nearly died?" "Well uh-" "Or never minding the fact that Celestia can take her of herself and suffer VERY minimal damage?" "Well uh-" "OR taking into consideration of what said human was going through, i.e being forced from his home, his friends, his family, and having no way to go back." Twilight's ears folded back. "Well uh, when you put it that way..." "So when you heard that Celestia was coming for a visit, you, a mere student at the time, decided to use a spell on them without considering the consequences...at all." Twilight opened her muzzle to object...and Anon literally zipped her...lips shut. Twilight could still breath through her nose, but couldn't undo it with a muted horn. Anon grinned. "I've always wanted to do that. Now you know how it feels to be on the receiving end." After channeling the laugh of the woodpeckers, he scooted over to Pinkie Pie and said, "And last, but not least, we have the skewered priorities pony." "My priorities were NOT skewered!" snapped the pink pony. "My priorities were to get the Parasprites out of Ponyville! I tried to tell my friends but they wouldn't listen!" "True, but did any of your statements involve any hint of knowing how to get rid of the Parasprites? Like 'Hey! I know how to deal with Parasprites!' or 'I've dealt with these bugs before so I know what to do!'" Like Twilight, Pinkie Pie started to say something...but this time, she decided against it and her mane deflated a little. Anon smirked. "No further questions." "Has the jury reached a verdict?" asked Diesel. "We have, Your Honor," answered the foreman. "We find all 3 defendants guilty." He levitated a paper over to Mok. Mok read, "The defendants Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy are hereby sentenced to cleaning up Ponyville every Sunday for the rest of their lives." Diesel blew his horn. "Case dismissed." Anon turned to Mr. Smith and his clones. "Leave them up there. Bring the dragon, the other 3 and Sunbutt. We're going to find out just hit slipped Twilight's sparkly mind about not having to send weekly reports." Author's Note Formats may vary. I've seen/read one too many times when Twilight abuses the "zipped lip" spell and isn't remotely sorry for it. Someone comment with a video of the Joker laughing, cuz we're heading for the juicy stuff!
