Starlight Glimmer Summons Saitama
One-Punch Man saves the day
Author's Note
I honestly found To Where And Back Again pretty boring, especially compared to the previous two finales. So here's how I would have solved its problem.
One-Punch Man saves the day
Discord teleported Trixie, Starlight, and Thorax right outside the changeling hive where the Mane 6 and Princesses were being held. "That's odd", Discord commented with a surprised grimace. "We were supposed to go inside the hive. What's with this place?" He then created a flying pig which flew towards the hive, only to disappear seconds later. "My chaos magic isn't working! Let's try this again." He then summoned a ring of friendliness pellets around the hive, which floated toward it but also disappeared. He started staring into space as a result.
Starlight commented "Is this anti-magic?" before releasing a small ball of light which also disappeared seconds later. "It is. None of us is equipped to handle this! Let's just go home."
Trixie, unable to think of anything, looked down in the dumps. She suggested to throw in the towel. Discord created one and threw it at her request. "That's not what I meant! We're not supposed to be the ones rescuing the Mane 6 and Princesses!" She turned around and started to walk away, only to stop after Discord's reply...
"But Fluttershy, a very important pony to me, is being held in that hive! We can't just ditch her for something we're not equipped to handle!"
Thorax said "Queen Chrysalis' throne neutralizes all changeling magic near the hive. Does any of you know a way to destroy it? You're so dependent on your own magic that if it's neutralized, you don't have any means of mass demolition."
Trixie made some suggestions. "DJ-PON3's Bass Cannon could do in the throne. Octavia could stick a lightsaber cello into it, and lightsabers can quickly cut through anything except another lightsaber. Lyra could use a golden super-fist to smash the throne. All Derpy needs to do is sit on the throne and it collapses. And Maud could tear it apart with her hooves, her strength being pure muscle. But where are they when you need them?" She called for help...
But nopony came. None of the aforementioned ponies wanted to be in the boring season finale.
Starlight replied "Well they're not coming to help us anytime soon. They're having a day off, fighting a more exciting epic battle than us right now. But let's go with something related to the Lyra part. I can summon someone who CAN handle this", stepped back, and opened up a portal. Out stepped a bald man with a white jumpsuit and cape, and red gloves and boots. "You three, this is Saitama, the main character of the popular anime called One Punch Man."
Trixie commented, "What is anime, and how's he going to destroy the throne? I've never seen something like him before."
"Anime is Japanese animation. We're American-Canadian animation. Saitama's show isn't called One Punch Man for nothing. He takes down almost anything with one punch. Key word is almost. Boros and Garou are the two main villains to withstand more than one punch from him and force him to fight seriously. That's how strong they are, but Saitama still wins."
Saitama replied, "I've trained so hard that for anything to stand a chance against me, it has to be as strong as Boros and Garou. Where is that super-powerful enemy you're powerless against? It just needs one punch from me, and it's gone."
Trixie pointed at the changeling hive. "The enemy is deep inside that hive. You're our only means of destroying it. It neutralizes our main form of defense - our magic." She then started firing fireworks above her after Saitama jumped from her position to the hive's front door. "Wow. Anime characters can jump as far as they want to. The Great And Powerful Trixie needs to be an anime super-heroine herself! Great and Powerful martial arts skill, explosive special effects, deep storytelling, and over-the-top dialogue!"
As a result of the fireworks, all the changelings in the hive ran out, avoiding Saitama as he made his way to the throne. "I guess they aren't strong enough to fight me or slow me down." While some changelings did attack him, he just brushed them off like fleas, continuing to walk without a scratch on him. "Dam. Now where is that thing that subdued the pony who summoned me?" The downed changelings then led him to the throne. "That's odd. They gave up their aggression very quickly."
Upon reaching Discord, the other changelings stopped to hear some puns from him. "I thought I was beside myself, but it was one of you! *Ba dum tss* And you guys are the easiest to bug!" The changelings angrily approached him, only for him, Starlight, and Trixie to all magically hold them in place.
Thorax walked up to the changelings, flashed his shiny wings, and said, "Now now, no need to fight. Since Spike has shown me true friendship, I haven't had to feed off any love. After our friendship, my wings started glowing and I've been feeling whole. I cannot hold on to my love anymore." He then held up a Save button.
You reach out to your fellow changelings. Their hooves shake for a while. Attack decreased. Your fellow changelings are sparing you.
The changelings all held up Mercy buttons, signaling that they no longer wanted to fight. "Then don't! Now let's start sharing it too! The Queen has been starving us, and we are ready to serve you and be whole too. You are our new king."
YOU WON! 300 gold and 0 EXP awarded.
Back in the hive, Saitama reached the anti-magic throne that kept Starlight, Trixie, and Discord out. Queen Chrysalis was sitting on it and trying to force choke him. "This throne rendered the strongest ponies in Equestria powerless. What makes YOU thin-" Saitama effortlessly broke free of the force choke, and introduced the throne to his fist, causing the throne to crack before Saitama jumped out of the hive. "MY THRONE!" The throne started exploding repeatedly, culminating in a huge sphere of light that was visible from space, completely vaporized the hive, left a huge crater where the wasteland surrounding it used to be, and sent Chrysalis herself flying to who knows where. The cocoons the prisoners were held in got vaporized for them, leaving them completely unharmed.
As the throne was destroyed, the Mane 6 and Princesses signaled glowing horns and flapping wings. The now-freed Twilight congratulated Starlight for summoning Saitama. "Wow, your friend totally saved us all. This 'anime' he's from sounds really good and I've got to get into it. Let's just summon him again the next time an ancient evil sets out to destroy Equestria. Those instant-win friendship blasts are getting boring real fast, and I heard that many anime and 'Tokusatsu' heroes just fight said ancient evil really really hard and it eventually just dies. Let's train like your friend so that we can save the day better!"
Within a week of the resulting training with Saitama, ponykind was now made up of colorful killing machines who could dismantle literally any threat to Equestria by hitting it repeatedly with their hooves and custom-forged weaponry. All anti-magic was trivialized, and the instant-win friendship blasts were disposed of like used tissue.
THE END
