Fitting In

by PotatoJoe

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Spike
Length: 9117

Spike wants to go to school.

Spike wants to go to school. Twilight SUCCESSFULLY casts a spell to help that happen.

Published 2011-11-30 06:07:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-30 05:46:42 UTC

First Day Drags On

Spike was moping.

It wasn’t hard to tell. The little dragon was sitting in a armchair by the fire, his arms crossed, a fang-pointed frown on his face, and most tellingly, a trail of pitch black smoke trailing from his nostrils.

He was so easy to read.

“ Spike, what’s up?” asked Twilight, walking across the library towards where her grumpy little assistant sat. She was levitating a plate of rubies and a mug of boiling-hot chocolate, Spike’s favorite snack.

“ Nothing.” said the little dragon, slumping so that one arm was propping up his head. His eyes lit up a little as the plate and mug floated down in front of him. Twilight walked around as he snatched a ruby and scarfed it down, choosing the large purple sofa facing Spike’s seat. “ Mmhp. mMmby sumbpgh.”

“ Didn’t quite catch that.” said Twilight with a smile.

“ Actually, maybe something is.” said Spike after swallowing a mouthful of gemstone, washing it down with the near molten liquid. “ That’s what I tried to say, sorry. It’s kinda stupid, though.”

“ Well, you can tell me anyways.” said Twilight, sitting forwards. She wanted to appear attentive.

“ I - uh, well, I’ve kinda thought about this for a while, but it’s not like, you know, a for sure thing - “

“ Spike, just spill it.” said Twilight with a fake sigh and comical eye roll. The little dragon chuckled nervously, a small smile gracing his lips.

“ I want to go to school.”

Twilight sat up straight, quite surprised.

“ I don’t really have any friends my age, you know?” said Spike, scratching his spines with a little clawed hand. “ A-and all the foals, they go to school and make friends. It’s not that I don’t have any friends - theres you, and Rarity, and, uh, Pinkie. But I’m...i’m kinda your annoying little brother, like Sweetie Belle to Rarity.”

“ You aren’t annoying, Spike.” said Twilight, standing up and walking over. She gave him a quick nuzzle. “ You do a lot of work and help me keep organized.”

“ Well, yeah, I guess I’m useful.” said Spike with a smile and a chuckle.

“ But, I do understand feeling lonely.” said Twilight, leaning against Spike’s chair. “ We could go talk to Cherilee and see if you could start. I’m sure they’d take you.”

“ Really?”

“ Come on, Spike.” said Twilight with a laugh. “ Cherilee’s a teacher. What kind of teacher turns away a student?”

++++++

“ What do you mean ‘no’?” barked Twilight angrily.

“ Sorry, Twilight.” said Cherilee, standing up from behind her desk. Her classroom at Ponyville elementary was empty, the little wooden desks and fresh hay on the floor shining idyllically in the afternoon light. “ But we can’t take a dragon on into school here.”

“ B-but it’s not like he can’t learn anything!” Twilight said, turning around and gesturing to the posters in the room angrily. “ He can read! He can do math!”

“ It’s not about that.” said Cherilee, trying to calm Twilight back down. “ We’d love to have him, we would.”

“....then, why aren’t you taking him?” asked Twilight with a frown, levitating Spike into the air. The little dragon struggled as she plopped him on the desk between herself and the schoolteacher.

“ Because in elementary school, the sniffles and sneezes travel like parasprites at a picnic.” said Cherilee with a apologetic smile. “ And when Spike starts sneezing, we’d be in a lot of trouble.”

Twilight glanced back at the room - straw floors, wooden furniture, and paper everywhere.

“ Oh, yeah.” said Twilight, scratching a hoof on her cheek. “ That would be a problem.”

“ I am sorry.” said Cherilee, walking around the desk. “ I’m sure you’d fit in, Spike - if Twilight’s been tutoring you you’d have no trouble with the classwork.”

“ Heh, it’s okay.” said Spike, waving her off with a claw and smiling weakly. “ I shoulda known it’d be a problem for a dragon to go to school with ponies. Too bad I can’t just turn into a pony, eh?”

“ OH!” blurted Twilight, far too loudly. Cherilee and Spike glanced to her. “ I’ve just had a wonderful idea!”

++++++

“ This is the second worst idea you’ve ever had.” said Spike, looking down at the magic circle that Twilight was drawing with sacred chalks. The floor of the library was covered with runes and diagrams Twilight had created as part of a very complicated spell.

“ Wha wurs te furs?” asked Twilight, the chalk held in her mouth.

“ Casting that spell on Mister Smartie-Pants.” said Spike with a cruel little smirk. Twilight blushed, remembering the disaster. “ And, if you’ll note, both of these ideas involved magic.”

“ Well, this spell won’t fail.” said Twilight after spitting out the tiny piece of chalk. “ The amniomorphic spell is one I’ve researched thoroughly. It was invented by Star Swirl the Bearded - “

“ Ugh, him again?” moaned Spike, rolling his eyes as he sighed. “ I had enough of his spells with the one that let us walk on clouds!”

“ Which, worked perfectly.” said Twilight with a smirk, taking her place in the spell-diagram.

“ I spent eight hours cleaning up the mess you made!” protested Spike, gesturing around. “ And this one’s way bigger - have you ever mopped blue chalk off of hardwood floors? It stains, so you have to use this really noxious remover!”

“ Tell you what, Spike - if this DOESN’T work, I’ll clean it up.” said Twilight with a smirk. “ And if it does, I’ll help you.”

“....kay.” said Spike, sensing no trickery.

“ Well then, here we go!” said Twilight, focusing her magic. There was a flash as her eyes and the chalk lines lit up which slowly intensified. Spike could feel his body beginning to tingle just as the light became blinding....

....there was a feeling like bathing in pudding.....

....a sound of a duck quacking....

....two quick stomachfuls of butterflies....

.....and the light faded.

Twilight Sparkle had been replaced by a dragon about the size she’d been - which was part of the spell. It couldn’t increase mass, only change it. She was purple scales with darker spines, a bright streak running along one side. She stood awkwardly on two legs, obviously unused to the sensation of being able to stand erect for so long. With a “eep!” and a swish of her tail she tumbled over.

“ A-are you okay, Twilight?” Spike asked, dashing over. His usually silent skittering had been replaced with loud clopping.

“ Yeah, just surprised.” said Twilight, sitting back up. “ I’ve seen you stand like that a million times without a problem and I couldn’t keep it for a second.”

“ Eh, it gets easier.” said Spike, trying to reach to help her up. However, when a hoof stuck out, he remembered he was now a pony. “ Oh, hey, it worked!”

Spike the dragon had been replaced with a unicorn foal with a purple coat and green mane and tail. He reared for a moment as he looked over his new body, laughing as he came back down to the floor.

“ Huh, kinda miss my fingers.” said Spike, looking at a hoof. “ But wow! I feel a lot warmer - it’s because ponies are warm blooded, right? Usually I feel cold all the time so I have to breath fire alot to stay warm. ....Twilight? Twilight?”

Spike looked to his newly bedragoned friend, who was staring at her her hands, flexing the fingers in and out, curling them, and rolling them. She twisted her wrists experimentally as she did so, visibly enraptured with the process.

“ Woah.” said Twilight, binging one hand up to her face and tapping her middle finger and thumb together to make the clawnails clack. “ Woah, I have fingers.”

“ Uh, yeah.” said Spike, cocking an eyebrow. “ Equestria to Twilight. You okay?”

“ I can move aaaaal of the joints.” said Twilight, here eyes wide and sparkly as she made a fist. “ Oooh my Celestia.”

“ Oookay, gonna go get you some tea.” said Spike, turning towards the kitchen.

“ No!” said Twilight, getting up onto two feet. She wobbled before flexing her tail rigidly, giving her a third point of balance. “ No, let me do it - I wanna try heating it with fire like you always did.”

“ Uh, Twilight, your having a little trouble being a dragon so far.” said Spike with a wince. “ Maybe you wait until you’ve settled in before breathing fire?”

“ Fine.” sighed Twilight as they walked into the kitchen. She looked over to the stove and focused a moment to light it.

It didn’t light.

“ Wait, my magics gone!” said Twilight in alarm, putting a hand to her head and feeling the hornless space above her eyes. “ I-I didn’t know the spell will take away my magic!”

“ Well, uh, good thing it only lasts a week, right?” said Spike with a chuckle, sensing a Twilight Sparkle Epic Freakout coming on. “ Right? Wears off after one week, no matter what?”

“ Oh....oh yeah.” said Twilight, breathing a little raggedly. “ Just a week without magic. Won’t be a problem, I can just read. And do normal things.”

Spike took shelter under the table.

“ EEEEEE!” screeched Twilight, running in a circle. “ I want my magic back! I’ve never lost my magic - except for the poison joke and Discord and I really - I can’t do anything - I, I - AAAAAEEEEE!”

There was a crash as the front door to the library was thrown open.

“ Twilight!” shouted Rainbow Dash’s voice. “ I heard screaming! Is everything all right?”

“ No! No no no no no!” shouted Twilight, running into the library and leaping at Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus shrieked and scampered, as from her perspective a dragon with bared fangs and claws had just lunged at her. Twilight landed with a whump as Dash flew to the ceiling.

“ W-who are you?” said Rainbow Dash, looking scared. “ Do you know Twilight and Spike? Did you hurt Twilight and Spike?”

“ Twilight, calm down!” shouted Spike, running in and tackling her. The dragoness was writhing in panic, crying incoherently.

“ Uh....what?” said Dash, looking from Spike to Twilight.

“ We heard the screaming!” declared Pinkie, stampeding in with a ladle held in her mouth like a sword. Rarity followed cautiously behind. “ What’s going on?”

“ Twilight’s freaking out!” shouted Spike, struggling to keep Twilight pinned - he couldn’t grasp her with hooves and he was too enough to weigh her down.

“ Oh, I get it!” said Rainbow Dash, her face lighting up. “ Twilight messed up another spell! Like with that mule doll!”

“ Actually, we did this on purpose.” said Spike sheepishly. “ But, uh, she’s kinda having problems with not having magic. Wait, I got it! Twilight! You have fingers!”

“....woah, I do!” said Twilight, coming to a halt immediately. Pinkie Pie laughed as her friend ceased panicking in an instant, watching her hands with rapt attention. Rainbow Dash choose to facehoof.

++++++

“ So, the amniomorphic spell switches species between two creatures for a short time.” said Twilight, enjoying some near molten tea as she recovered. Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity were assembled in her living room as she explained, Spike the Unicorn struggling to levitate a teaspoon in the background. He was having success - more than the average unicorn colt his age - and was managing to twirl it in air.

“ Short time as in hour, day, week, forever...?” asked Dash, looking skeptical.

“ We set the spell for one week.” said Twilight, setting her teacup in its saucer with a flourish on finger-waggles. She giggled at her growing mastery of the fine appendages. “ It’ll wear off then and we’ll change back. It’s a really safe spell - Star Swirl the Bearded invented it.”

“ Mmm, and he had such magical pedigree I’m sure.” said Rarity with a slight grimace, sipping her more modestly warm tea. “ But Twilight, you should have told us. This is a rather big change and you reacted so poorly. Next time, tell us so we can be on hand to help.”

“ So, can you breath fire?” asked Pinkie, leaning in close. “ Breath some fire!”

“....I think i’ll try that outside first.” said Twilight cautiously. “ Sorry I worried you all.”

“ Eeeh, no problem.” said Rainbow Dash with a laugh. “ It’s pretty cool to know I’m faster than a pouncing dragon. You should have seen yourself, you were all “ARRG”. If Fluttershy’d been here she’d have had a heart attack.”

“ Probably for the best she didn’t come by, then.” said Twilight, watching as Spike floated three teaspoons past her head. “ So, could I get you three to spread the word around town? I kinda want to get a grip on being a dragon before I go outside.”

“ This is awesome!” laughed Spike, revolving slowly as he levitated himself. “ Wwwoooah! Woah, wait, turn around! There, there we go! Ha ha! Hey, lets see if I can teleport!”

There was a burst of light as Spike vanished.

The three mares and Twilight looked around.

A moment later, the lid to the long-emptied teapot on the table popped off “ Hey, uh, guys, had a little problem here.”

“....that’s.....that’s exactly what happened to me the first time I tried teleporting.” said Twilight, raising an eyebrow. “ Spike, I think you might have gotten all my magic.”

“ Really? Cool!” came Spikes voice as the teapot shook. “ Uh, still need some help.”

“ Well, we’ll be off then.” said Rarity, standing as Twilight began to ponder how to get Spike out without breaking the teapot. “ Pinkie, come with, will you? And Rainbow, would you go tell Fluttershy? It’s a long trip to go see her, so if you’ll do that we’ll tell everypony in town.”

“ Right. See ya!” said Dash with a salute, flying out one of the windows.

“ Well, see ya later, Twi!” said Pinkie, nuzzling Twilights spines. “ Ooh, that feels cool. Whoops, sorry!” she said, pulling her head back. She crouched down and picked up something with her mouth, then set down a small purple scale on the table. “ One of your scales came off.”

There was a crash as Spike broke out of the teapot, looking serious as he stood on the short table.

“ Wait wait wait.” said Spike, looking to Pinkie and Twilight, then to the scale. “ The scale just came off? As in, came off came off? As in, it just fell off?”

“ Well, yeah.” said Pinkie, shrugging. “ What’s the big deal?”

“ If it just fell off, that means she’s going to start shedding!” said Spike with concern. “ This is a really big deal! Like, cutie-mark big! The first time a dragon shed its skin it goes though a huge growth spurt!”

“ Uh, how huge we talkin’?” asked Pinkie, inching away as she watched Twilight. The purple dragon had gone ridged, breathing heavily as her panic started to return.

“ Well, up, probably double or triple in size.” said Spike, shying back and running behind Rarity. “ It’s, uh, big change. It’s when a dragon gets it’s wings too - see, if we had wings as babies, we’d get too far from our moms.”

“ And how quickly will this happen, exactly?” asked Rarity, looking nervous.

There was a sound like every spring in a mattress breaking at once as all of twilights scales fell out, leaving a fleshy pink dragon. She began to swell like a balloon in great fits an starts, her hindquarters growing first. Her torso, chest, and then limbs grew as she took on the the more magnified proportions of a juvenile dragon. Two lumps appeared had appeared on her back, then burst into to draconian wings which unfurled across the living room, the gust knocking the books off of the shelves and sending the ponies tumbling headfirst, save for Pinkie, who turned it into a cartwheel. Little scales began to appear all over Twilight, quickly darkening into the familiar purple as her spines lengthen, taking on the appearance on hair.

“ ‘bout that quick.” said Spike, getting up. He focused for a moment and his horn began to glow with magic.

“ Not good not good not good!” gasped Twilight, looking afraid to move.

“........well, see you guys at eight!” said Pinkie with a giggle, trotting towards the stairs down to the enterance. “ I’ve a Shedding Day party to plan!”

“ A party? Now?” said Rarity, standing up and shaking the scales from her. “ Pinkie, this is a disaster! Twilight needs - ooh, these scales are quite fetching really - I mean, she needs our help! Spike, be a dear and gather up these scales, will you?”

“ Uh - one moment!” said Spike, glancing to her as a book flew towards Twilight. “ Twi, that’s Star Swirls book! Look up the spell and see what it says about this!”

“ Oh, these would make the most exotic of buttons!” said Rarity as Pinkie Pie vanished, levitating a number of the scales into a pile. “ Or I could mesh them together for sleeves - the armor looks in at Canterlot this year, and these would be nice and lightweight - oh! Or I could use them for flaking on that jeweled headdress I’ve been working on!”

“ - mass cannot be increased using this spell, for that, turn to ... uh, in the event of drastic change in mass during the amniomorphic event, see section fourteen....” muttered Twilight, flicking though the pages. As she was roughly the size of a haycart this would normally have been a problem, but her deft little fingers could manipulate the pages with ease. “ Ah! Yes! All I need to do is cast a shrinking spell! If the spell ends before I do I’ll just end up a giant pony, but the spell will fix that, and if I do it in advance, I’ll just go back to normal!”

“ So, no worries?” said Spike, looking up at her with relief on his face.

“ No worries.” said Twilight with a sigh, slumping back and letting out a stream of smoke. “ I was worried I’d be stuck as a dragon or something.”

“ Spike, when you shed, would you pass along your scales to me?” said Rarity, tying a ribbon on the bag of scales. She’d cleaned the room of them - and cleaned the torn up room while she was at it.

“ Sure thing.” said Spike. Rarity gave him a smile and trotted downstairs. “ Welp, Twilight, want to go see about me getting enrolled in school for a week?”

“ I think a little prank on Cherilee is in order.” said Twilight with a evil and toothy smirk. A moment later, a similar look crept over Spike’s face.

++++++++

“ Hey, Applejack, you seen Fluttershy?” said Rainbow Dash, flying down into the orchards where Applejack was hard at work.

“ You checked her cottage?” said Applejack, pulling her hat back as she came to a halt.

“ First place I did - but Angle told me she was with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” said Rainbow, picking up an apple and taking a bite out of it. She chewed for a moment before continuing. “ And I figured, with one of them being your sister - “

“ Ah, I know where they are.” said Applejack, looking towards Ponyville. “ They were going to be crusading around the schoolhouse today - “

Suddenly, several shrieks of terror filtered though the trees.

“ T-that came from the schoolhouse!” said Applejack, her eyes popping wide with surprise.

“ I’ll check it out!” cried Rainbow Dash, taking to the air. She was gone in a blur. Dash put on her fasted speed as she flew, her wings beating so quickly they hurt. Another scream took to the air as the schoolhouse began to come into view.

“ No no no! Fluttershy, stop!” shouted the familiar voice of Spike. Dash spotted the commotion - the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Spike, and Cherilee were watching as the yellow pegasus threw around a purple dragon four times her size. With a martial arts scream Fluttershy hefted the dragon into the air and threw it, wrapping the scaled beast around a tree.

“ Aw, crud.” said Dash, slowing down as she Fluttered down next to the gasping, still-in-a-killing-stance Fluttershy. “ Hey, Fluttershy.”

“ Oh, Dash, it was terrible!” said Fluttershy, switching into her shrinking violet voice and posture in an instant. “ I was leading the Crusaders towards the school so we could give Ms. Cherilee a cake we’d baked her when I saw this big, awful dragon pounce that little colt!”

“ Yeah, Fluttershy, that was - “

“ I knew I couldn’t just let him get eaten so I had to attack. Oh, I was so loud, I’m sure I hurt someone’s eardrums!”

“....uh, Fluttershy, that was Twilight Sparkle.”

Fluttershy looked to the dragon, which was lying on the broken tree, Twilight’s Cutie Mark stars spinning around its head and it’s tongue lolling out.

“ Yeah, um, it’s me. Spike.” said Spike, trotting forwards. “ Me and Twilight changed species with a spell and we decided to prank Cherilee.”

Fluttershy looked to him, then to Cherilee, then to Twilight, then to the Crusaders, then to Dash.

“ Oh.” said Fluttershy, looking embarrassed. “ Well, at least I was assertive for once.”

“ Hey, uh, Spike, how quick do dragon’s ribs heal?” Twilight asked weakly.

Blank Slate

“ Hey Twilight! Wake up! I have to go to school!”

Twilight blinked, slowly waking. She sat up and immediately winced as she smacked her head on the ceiling.

“ ....you okay?” asked Spike. The little colt trotted to the size of Twilights overborne bed. The previous day, Twilight Sparkle and Spike had used magic to switch species, part of a rather elaborate and poorly conceived plan to allow Spike to “fit in” for a week and go to school.

Of course, Twilight had to go though wacky dragon puberty almost immediately, growing to the size of the wagon she’d taken to the Grand Galloping Gala. This was the current greatest of her problems - she was a big dragon in a small bedroom - but not the only one. She was now facing a week without magic and had slept on her brand-new wings funny, leaving them tingly and uncomfortable.

“ ....yeah.” she said, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she looked down at the little dragon. She smiled as she saw the eager little look on his face. His eyes sparkled like he was staring at a plate of rubies and the dance in his step was the type only the most excited foal could manage. “ I suppose we should get your lunch packed, shouldn’t we?”

“ C-could I have a peanut butter and amethyst sandwich?” he asked excitedly, galloping around the room randomly. He was practically - WHAM - no, literally bouncing off the walls. As Twilight got out of bed, carefully avoiding the ceiling, she wondered if she’d been that excited to go to school.

“ Uh, ponies don’t eat gems.” she said, nodding to the door. Spike ran out to the top of the stairs, where he turned to wait for her.

“ Oh.” said Spike, looking down. “ Oh, so peanut butter and jelly, right?”

“ And some other snacks.” said Twilight, carefully squeezing though her doorway. She was just the right size to not damage anything if she was careful. “ A few cookies, two apples - “

“ Two?”

“ One for Ms. Cherilee.” explained Twilight with a smile. “ You want to make a good impression, right?”

Had Spike smiled any wider he might had hurt himself.

The morning was idyllic. Twilight and Spike prepared him a lunch, enjoying their newfound methods of manipulation. Spike managed to spill a lot of jelly while trying to levitate too many things at once and Twilight poked a few holes in the apples with her claws, but all in all they got things done. Soon, a knock came on the front door.

“ Hey! Thats the school wagon!” said Spike excitedly, galloping to the front door. “ Yeah, look! Its in front of the library! Hey, Applebloom’s waving!”

“ Don’t forget your lunch!” said Twilight, leaning out of the kitchen and tossing the paper bag to him. He caught it with magic, levitating it into the foals saddlebag they’d picked up for him and zipping the bag shut. Twilight inched out of the kitchen safely and into the hall. “ Uh, you might want to get going.”

“....um....theres, uh, one last thing.” said Spike, kicking one hoof to the ground. “ It’s, um, kinda tradition - at least, i’ve heard it is - that you give me a kiss on the head and hug me before I go to school and I act annoyed about it.”

“ You’re going all out on this, aren’t you?”

“ Look, we switched species. Let’s not skimp on the little things.”

Twilight leaned over and gave Spike a gentle but loving hug, kissing him on the cheek. He returned the hug - Twilight smirked, glad he’d not chosen to protest like he’d claimed he was going to - and trotted outside, getting onto the school wagon. She waved as it raced off, Spike already talking to Snips and Snails excitedly.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, then waving the smoke from the air, Twilight Sparkle looked around.

The Library was in good shape. There wasn’t much checked out and the pile of unshelved books was small - so she had the morning to herself. Usually, she would have taken this time to study a few new spells - but today wasn’t one for curling up with a book on magic.

Procuring several large - and suddenly delicious looking gems - from the cupboard, she sat at the dining table and set down the Eggheads Guide To Dragons.

Like she’d said - not a day for books on magic. Which did not exempt any OTHER books.

She’d began to browse though the book - she’d done so before, but only the sections that applied to Spike. As a baby dragon he was fairly easy to deal with and didn’t have many things to worry about - no wings meant she’d never looked up how dragons fly, no hoard meant no adventurers seeking to loot it, and while he was a little pudgy, he ate a healthy enough diet that he had very few physical problems.

Pausing, she reached for a diamond. It was the size of an apple, so she fiddled with it in her claws, looking it over. As it shone in the morning light she found herself starting to drool. Flinching, she opened her mouth and took a bite.

The crunch was loud and strangely satisfying.

It was like biting into the driest and most flavorful fruit she’d ever tried. Its taste was unlike anything - she guessed she could only describe it as diamond. She found herself devouring the rest of the gem in two messy bites, ravenously chewing and savoring the flavor.

Glancing to the plate, she knew she needed to know what rubies, emeralds, and amethysts were like IMMEDIATELY.

One short and highly satisfying binge later, Twilight Sat back on her haunches, batting her full-feeling stomach. She let out a belch, a puff of pink flame fluttering though the air. She quickly covered her mouth and looked around - then remembered she was no longer a mare. She was a dragon - holding in burps was a bad idea. Spike had once tried that to keep from grossing out Rarity and nearly exploded.

Picking up a crumb of ruby, she turned back to her book, looking for the section on gems. When she found it, it was disappointing, only listing that dragons could eat gems and what types were needed for a balanced diet. She noted a little warning she hadn’t before - that baby dragons should refrain from eating even depleted uranium, comparing it to liquor, and that plutonium was considered a dangerous hallucinogenic. Flipping through more of the book, she found it considerably drier and less useful than she needed it to be - the flight section talked only of the mechanics of dragon wings and fingers were only a footnote!

Fingers!

A footnote!

She clacked her right claw along the top of the table as she shut the book in disgust. This was about about dragons. Not one about being a dragon. Eventually, there were a lot of things Spike would need to know - !

Twilight was a dragon.

She could write the book on being a dragon. She could experiment with the hows and whats of the body so she’d know how to help Spike when he grew. In fact, she could do better than that! She could write a book so that anypony would know what it was like to be a dragon.

She’d seen Spike rub his hands together when he had a good idea, so she took the chance to do just that.

=============

“ Allright, class, for this week we’re going to have a guest student.” said Ms. Cherilee, her students falling quiet, save for the ever-chatty Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. She “ahemed” a few times, eventually silencing them. She then gestured again, indicating the little purple unicorn standing next to her. Spike smiled a big goofy nervous smile.

“ Hey Spike!” said Applebloom, waving.

“ He’s going to be just like a normal student, so treat him as you would your friends!” said Ms. Cherilee. She then gestured to a empty desk in the middle of the room, behind Scootaloo and next to Silver Spoon. “ Spike, that will be your desk.”

“ O-okay!” he said quickly, trotting over and setting his saddlebags beneath it. As he sat, he could hear Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon whispering. He didn’t catch much, but he was sure he’d heard the words “blank flank.”

It hadn’t occurred to him until then to look at his flank. He, indeed, had no cutie mark. It was strange - he’d never wanted one before, but now that he didn’t have one, he felt disappointed.

Class began slowly, with role call and a discussion of what topics they would cover that day. It was strangely familiar to Spike - he’d heard of such things from Twilight when he’d been even younger than he was now. The foals mostly seemed bored and disinterested, barely listening to Cherilee. Finally, they started the first unit of the days lessons - math.

“ Okay, class, let’s start easy.” said Cherilee, taking a piece of chalk and turning to the board. The moment she did, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon exchanged notes with each other and Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell glanced to each other and whispered something. Snips took the chance to take a candy bar out as Cherilee wrote a number of math equations on the board and chomped down on it. “ Spike, we start math with a few warmups. Anypony who wants to give it a try can come up to the board - “

“ Oh! Oh!” Spike leapt out of his seat and ran to the board, drawing a number of laughs.

“ - and give the problems a try.” finished Cherilee with a wide smile. “ Well, aren’t you eager? There are twenty problems on the board. For each one you finish you get one question off of your homework.”

“ 4, 8, 28, 45.5, pi, 0, 18, 10000000, 19, 2^2, X is equal to 9, X is equal to 3Y, 1, 32 canters per hour, nine thirty the following evening, 7, 777, 777.7, and 29.”

Spike had read from left to right, going from problem to problem as Cherilee’s jaw slowly dropped, stopping without answering the twentieth question.

“ Uh, I guess I should have left more than one for somepony else.” said Spike awkwardly, looking down and rubbing his mane.

The class was silent.

=================

Flight was amazing.

Twilight was not soaring with anything that could be called grace. In fact, ‘soaring’ was an abuse of the term. But she was flying - flapping hard, teetering from side to side, and fighting to keep herself from losing her breakfast, but she was flying.

Unfortunately, she’d originally been trying to ascertain how sensitive her claws were and began to fly by accident.

She’d began simply, touching the flesh around the nails and feeling between her fingers. It had raised a tingling sensation on her spike and her tail had thumped a little. Remembering that Spike hated having is paws tickled, she decided to try using a feather to ticking the little pad scales in the center.

She’d laughed so hard she’d breathed fire, her tail thrashing and wings flapping so hard she had taken flight.

Through the roof of the kitchen.

But, she had other things to focus on at the moment. News had gotten out to most of Ponyville of what she had done, but knowing that the local magician had turned herself into a dragon and seeing a dragon, trails of flame and smoke roaring from her mouth, flying across the top of ones village was something completely different.

Case in point - the flower mares were running in blind panic through the market, the carrot cart had been knocked over, sending the round vegetables pouring down a hill and into the busy streets, tripping dozen of ponies, and the Mayor had decided that it was time to try out the air raid signal.

All in all, a memorable first flight.

“ Look out look out look out!” she shouted, her roaring voice betraying her panic as her right wing cramped up. She lost control completely and barreled towards the Barrel store, the poor old pony who ran it fleeing back inside. She flinched, throwing her arms in front of herself and hoping the building was unreasonably soft.

Then, she got the wind knocked out of her as something struck her in the stomach, propelling her past the store and into the back alleys. She landed in an inelegant heap, rolling through several garbage cans and mud puddles.

“ Wow, Twilight, you don’t cause small problems, do you?” The voice laughed and Twilight recognized the small blue shape fluttering before her as Rainbow Dash.

“ Nope.” said Twilight, rolling off her side and sitting up. It was several more seconds until the world stopped spinning and she could focus her eyes. She noted how long it took - dragons didn’t seem to have the greatest balance and their optic nerve wasn’t as quick as ponies, speaking to a less-advanced inner ear and less visual acuity. “ Uh, thanks for saving the store.”

“ No prob.” said Rainbow with a laugh. “ Moment I heard the air raid siren I knew you’d tried to fly. Well, that or it was Scootaloo again, but she’s in class.”

“ Okay, so, lets try....lets try walking.” said Twilight, standing up.

“ Yeaaaaahhhh, put off flying for a while.” Rainbow Dash fluttered over and followed Twilight as she crept from the alley. “ So, uh, what are you up to today?”

“ Research!” said Twilight excitedly, noting Rainbow Dash wince. She lowered her volume. “ Sorry, my lungs are five times bigger than a ponies. I’m trying to learn everything I can about a dragons body firsthand so I can write a book about what it’s like.”

“....you would, wouldn’t you?” said Dash with a sigh, facehoofing. “ Come on, Twi! Have some fun! You’re only going to be a dragon for a week, right? You’ll remember everything and can write the book later.”

“ I am having fun!” protested Twilight, accidentally stepping on a crate and smashing her paw through it. “ Uh, shoot. But I was having fun earlier - I was testing how ticklish dragons are - “

“ Okay, thats already going weird places.” Rainbow Dash let out a little laugh. “ What next after something like that?”

“ Well, logically, erogenous zones and -”

“ Twi, don’t say it out loud!” laughed Rainbow Dash, blushing deeply. “ Nopony want’s to know that kind of thing.”

“ Not quite true.” said Twilight, cringing. “ I, um, did once come across a book of medical speculation on the subject. It was, um....well, you don’t want details.”

The look on Rainbow Dash’s face showed she clearly agreed.

“ Anyways, I was thinking of heading out of town and trying some flying - and some fire breathing.” said Twilight, carrying on into a different and less awkward subject. “ Do you want to come? It could be pretty cool.”

“ Cool? Twilight, fire is was more awesome that just ‘cool’!” said Dash energetically. “ Of course I want to see! Theres this big old elm that I accidentally killed with a lightning bolt last year - I bet it’d go up in flames in a second!”

“ Lead on!” said Twilight excitedly, stepping into another box with another foot with a loud crunch.

===============

“ ....uh.....wow.”

Cherilee looked to the board, which she had covered with equations from her old college physics class - the ones she’d sometimes needed a night to solve. Spike had ploughed through them a miniature living calculator. He stood there, looking proud, while the class quietly chatted and goofed off behind them.

“ I guess living with Twilight’s really paid off.” said Spike with a smile and a shrug. “ Uh, so I should probably let somepony else go.”

“ Um, yeah, you may return to your seat.” said Cherilee, shaking her head. Spike trotted back and sat down, an amused looking Diamond Tiara looking at her. As Spike looked up he saw she’d written his name on the board and put a star by it. “ So, Spike, since you did the best in math this morning - “

“ Hey! We never got a chance!” protested Sweetie Bell.

“ Like we coulda understood any o’ that.” said Applebloom, dismissing her.

“ - you get a star. You can get one for each subject we study before lunch. If you get a second, you get an extra ten minutes of recess after lunch.” continued Cherilee. “ And if you get three, you get a piece of candy as well.”

“....uh, how many are possible?” asked Spike, glancing to the candy jar.

“ Twelve.” said Cherilee with a smile, guessing Spikes game. “ Are you going to try for all of them? I’ll give you something special if you get them all. If you can do that, you won’t have any homework tonight.”

“.....um....could I have something else?” asked Spike. The entire class laughed, leading him to blush.

“ What a nerd!” cackled Diamond Tiara. “ That weirdo librarian who owns you must have really rubbed off on you!”

Spikes eyes narrowed. The other foals noticed the glare, but Diamond Tiara did not.

“ Ms. Cherilee?” he asked, turning and staring at his desk. “ If I get all twelve stars, will you make Diamond Tiara sit between Snips and Snails after lunch?”

A number of the foals looked shocked and chattered with each other. Diamond Tiara looked shocked. Snails didn’t notice anything had happened and continued to try and levitate a booger from his nose.

A sly little smile crossed Cherilee’s face.

“ That can be arranged.” she said, turning to the board. “ Time for geography!”

Spike smirked as he looked to the angry looking Tiara. “ Better hope you get a star. I hear Snails has a crush on you, he might try and kiss you.”

“ You won’t look so smug in five minutes.” said Diamond Tiara angrily, turning towards the front of the room and setting her teeth. Knowing he would, Spike sat back in his chair and thought of the time he and Twilight had made a game of memorizing the atlas of Equestria.

===============

“ So, fire burns.” said Twilight, jotting down the note as Rainbow Dash forced a few more spurts of water from her cloud.

The tree had indeed burnt quickly when Twilight breathed fire on it. However, she had let out a much greater gust than she had expected - it had spread to eight other trees. Then to twenty more.

At the moment they were standing in the ash of roughly a hundred trees, a number of singed and angry looking animals staring at them.

“ ....and thats a bad thing.” continued Twilight, finishing her note. “ So, um, animals of the forest....I guess I need to apologize.”

Various murmurs and squeaks met her, as did a horde of glares.

“ So, I’m sorry.” said Twilight awkwardly, scratching her headspines. “ And I’ll look into getting this fixed. It’ll take a few days, I kinda don’t have my normal magic at the moment. D-do you know where Fluttershy lives?”

The animals turned and made their way away from Twilight into the forest.

“ Good thing we decided to go with fire breathing first.” said Rainbow Dash, bucking the emaciated cloud back into the sky and landing by Twilight. “ Imagine if we’d started with something hard, like not causing a disaster.”

“ Shut up.” huffed Twilight.

============

“ And correct, the end of the Non-Linear Age corresponds with the defeat of Discord.” said Cherilee, giving Spike a wide smile. The colt was leaning back against his chair, his arms behind his head, his face as smug as he could manage.

There were eleven stars by his name. The class was cheering for him, save for Silver Spoon.

And Diamond Tiara? She was in a state of panic that only furthered when Snips began to make kissy-lips at her before breaking into laughter.

“ Now for the last unit, the pop question!” said Cherilee, picking up a book from her bookcase behind her desk. “ It’s a random question that I will choose by opening to a random page in the encyclopedia. Is everypony ready?”

“ Just ask it!” shrieked Diamond Tiara, looking ready to hyperventilate.

“ At what date,” began Cherilee, looking into the book. “ Was the largest meteor shower over Equestria recorded?”

“ HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THAT?” Diamond Tiara yelled so loudly the windows rattled.

“ It couldn’t possibly have been....” said Spike, sitting forwards and dragging his words out dramatically. “ Actually, I pass.”

Applebloom fell out of her chair.

“ You pass?” she shrieked. “ Com’on, Spike, you can stick one to that little harpy!”

“ I don’t feel like being a jerk.” said Spike with a shrug. A number of foals looked disappointed, but Cherilee beamed at him. “ But now that I’ve passed, the date was 346 After Discord on midsummers eve, from three-fifteen to four in the morning.”

“ Correct!” said Cherilee, shutting the book. Diamond Tiara stared at Spike, her jaw hanging open. “ Well, time for lunch!”

The class filed out of the room, save for Diamond Tiara, who was too stunned to move, and Spike, who stayed for a moment by Cherilee’s desk.

“ Uh, Twilight told me to give you this.” said Spike, levitating an apple onto Cherilee’s desk. It didn’t look very good compared to the one that Applebloom had given her, but she accepted it and gave him a smile. Spike turned and trotted out of the room.

Only Diamond Tiara noticed eleven small chalk-outline stars on his flank.

Cake or Death

Considering he had just aced the entire “knowing stuff” part of school, Spike felt pretty stupid at the moment.

Standing in the door to the lunchroom with his lunchbox awkwardly clenched in his mouth, his eyes passed over the room slowly. The foals were assembled at small tables to eat, talking merrily and devouring messily. They all seemed so relaxed and happy.

Spike, on the other hoof, had no idea what to do.

He saw friends, such as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, sitting together. Others did not. There were spaces open, but some ponies, like Snips and Snails, had passed them in such a way that made it clear that they knew they would not be welcome there. Was there some sort of hierarchy? What were the rules - it wasn’t like a restaurant, where you sat where the waiter sat you, you had to know where to sit and where to not.

And Spike had no clue.

“ Nerd.”

Spike jumped a little as a blushing, angry Diamond Tiara jostled past him, Silver Spoon close in tow. They trotted into the lunchroom and took an abandoned table - the other foals had avoided it and Spike could now tell it was reserved for them - before settling into a whispered discussion with several glances at Spike.

That gave him one clue - he was NOT to sit at that table. That left thirty nine others that were still mysteries.

He lifted his right front hoof.

The room changed in an instant. It went from a colorful, pleasant lunchroom to this dark, tense arena where he would be judged and mocked and inevitably trip, spilling his food all over the floor - wait! That was it! Twilight had told him about the lunchroom and how much she’d hated it! She’d never understood any of the politics either and had usually just ate in the hall and hid in the library. There was only one problem with that plan - Spike wanted to try out this “recess” thing that came after lunch, so he wouldn’t be hiding on in the library.

A few moments later he plopped down behind the dumpsters behind the school building, congratulating himself on finding a spot near the playground where he could eat in peace.

Bidding farewell to Rainbow Dash, who needed a nap so she would have plenty of energy for her evening showboating, Twilight Sparkle decided a calming walk was in order. Already outside of Ponyville she decided to angle her path so that it took her to Sweet Apple Acres. She didn’t visit her friends there enough and an apple sounded delicious at the moment.

Journeying though the woods as a pony was not a frightening experience, but if one was alone it was necessary to keep alert. A bad fall could lead to a broken leg, a cockatrice might be on the prowl, or some other danger that a single pony was vulnerable to. But as a dragon, it felt as safe was walking around her own bedroom.

If she ran into hydra? Ha! She’d just set it on fire.

Twisted ankle? She’d fly back to town!

Lunatic with a chainsaw? Unless that was a +2 chainsaw, it wasn’t beating her damage reduction. It’d feel like a feather!

On cue, a lost pinfeather from a bird drifted into her eye, poking her and causing her to cry in pain. Promising herself to leave fewer openings for her legendary bad luck to strike, she set back off towards the farm.

As the wild forest parted and she the orderly trees of the orchards came into view, Twilight noticed she could hear the distant clops of hoofsteps and smell a stallion’s sweat. It had to be Big Macintosh and from the smell of things, he was working hard. As she carefully hopped over the wooden fence, only to have her tail smash it as she landed, she made note of the range and sensitivity of her dragon snout - she was able to pick up that Big Macintosh had eaten apples with cinnamon for breakfast, had a little cut on his right cheek, and had accidentally used Applebloom’s brush a few days earlier - the slight sent of mares hairspray was out of place on him.

“ Hey! It’s Twilight Sparkle!” she called out with a controlled bellow, scaring a number of the areas birds. She sensed Big Macintosh come to a halt. “ And, you know, I’ve turned myself into a dragon, so don’t freak out, okay?”

“ ...eesure.” came the distant reply.

Twilight made her way towards the voice and found a cautious looking Big Macintosh waiting by several bushels of apples. He’d positioned himself by a pair of close together trees and seemed tensed to flee at a moments notice.

“ Uh, hi.” said Twilight a little awkwardly. “ I was out for a walk - well, originally I was flying, but it’s a long story, anyways, I was out for a walk and thought I’d come by and see Applejack.”

“ She’s in town today.” said Big Macintosh, his tone a little strained.

“ Okay, I can tell you aren’t comfortable with me.” said Twilight, backing away. “ Perfectly understandable, I am a dragon, so yeah, I’ll just be going.”

“...uh, miss Twilight, ah wasn’t meanin’ to be rude.” said Big Macintosh apologetically, causing her to stop. “ It jes’...uh, see, if it’s bigger’n me, it usually tried to eat somepony. So ah’m jes a bit nervous because o’ your size.”

“ Okay, alright, I’ll stay low to the ground.” said Twilight, flattening to the ground the best as she could. “ It makes me look smaller, right?”

Big Macintosh’s eyes went wide. And a moment later a struggled snort escaped his nose.

“ Uh, miss Twilight, y’all look mighty silly right now.” he chuckled. Twilight glanced at herself - she’d taken the pose like that of a kitten trying to be stealthy. The cute gesture did not match well with her large and intimidating form. “ ...though, do admit ah ain’t feelin’ quite as nervous.”

“ Okay, pony-dragon relationships need to be considered from a height issue.” Twilight said to herself, making a verbal note to help her remember later. “ Ponies see creatures shorter than them as a non-threat and taller as a predator. Expand on this observation and refine later.”

“ Uh...what?” said Big Macintosh, looking confused.

“ Actually, I can test that now!” Twilight exclaimed, realizing how simple it would be. She raised her neck and head up and crept forwards towards Big Macintosh, who immediately raised a hind hoof defensively and pinned his ears back. She bobbed her head down, looking at him from below - his ears perked back up and his hoof twitched down, his expression softening into a interested smile.

Bob up. Fight or Flight Triggered.

Bob down. Daww, Who’s a Lil’ Cutie Triggered.

Bob up. Ears pin. Pupil dilatation. Adrenal production increases.

Bob down. Playful smile and look of adoration, suggesting tendency to provide treats and belly rubs.

Bob up. Big Macintosh scowls.

“...ah fell y’all might be teasin’ me a bit, miss Twilight.” he said with a little huff.

“...heh, sorry.” she replied, backing off and nervously scratching the back of her neck - she’d picked up that gesture from Spike and could tell why - it was strangely reassuring.
“ Just testing a hypothesis.”

“...if y’all don’t mind, miss big’n scary, ah’ve got some work to be doin’.” said Big Macintosh, turning to heft a bushel of apples. She bobbed her head up and he trotted away skittishly.

Oh, she loved consistent data.

“...well, he’s a geek.” said Scootaloo, looking at Spike as the unicorn foal lay groaning on the ground, a huge lump growing on his head OTHER than his horn.

“ Time out!” called Applebloom, causing everypony on the hoofball field to trot away from their positions to check on Spike. They’d happily invited him to join in his first ever game of hoofball and not a minute had gone by before he’d gotten the ball.

Tripped over it.

And hit his head on a rock.

Gotten up.

Tripped over the ball again. And hit his head on the rock again.

The real moment of failing glory was when he unsteadily had gotten to his hooves, taken a step, tripped over the rock and fell flank-backwards onto the ball, rolled off, and hit his head on the rock again.

“ ...is he gonna die?” asked Sweetie Bell, looking down at Spike. He was muttering something, but it didn’t sound like words. “ Because if he is, we should tell Ms. Cherilee.”

“ Come on, Spike, get up!” said Snips impatiently. He and Snails had been on the same team as Spike and playing against the Crusaders. “ Come on, if you die we have to use Pipsqueak again!”

“ I’ll play if he dies!” called the dappled foal from the swings.

“ Mmmrrrrooofffffeeeennn.” groaned Spike, his eyes little swirls.

“ Well, just goes to show - you can either have brains or a career in professional sports.” said Scootaloo with a sigh. “ But I guess that was pretty obvious - I mean, look at his cutie mark! Who ever heard of an athlete with - WAIT WHAT?!”

Applebloom and Sweetie Bell froze as Scootaloo’s cry rang out into the heavens. The pegasus threw Spike over and pointed at his flank where the chalk outline stars shone dustily against his dark coat.

“ HOW DID YOU GET A CUTIE MARK?” she roared, shaking the concussed colts head. “ Come on, Spike! You’ve been a pony for like two days! Thats not fair! Thats totally not fair! We’ve been trying for years - no, wait, someone told you a trick, right? O-or you figured out a way to cheat!”

“...ah don’t think nerds cheat.” said Applebloom, letting out a long sigh. “...ah guess he just figured it out.”

“ Plees cal mre han anbulace.” said Spike, a little clarity starting to return to him as the violent shaking snapped him out of his stupor.

“ Eh, thats awesome!” cheered Snails.

“ Yeah - the Sugarcube Corner gives you a free cake when you get your cutie mark!” said Snails. “ We should go there after school!”

“...please...call...me...an..ambulance...” Spike managed to wheeze.

“ Oh, right, brain trauma.” said Scootaloo awkwardly, giving a nervous chuckle. “ I’ll go get Cherilee.”

“...and...tell...them...” Spike wheezed, wincing with each word. “ I...want...a chocolate cake with coconut filling.”