An Interesting Day in Court

by Valiant Braveheart

Rating: everyone
Tags: Self Insert, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4260

What does one bored princess do on a slow day in court? She pulls a prank on her sleeping sister, of course!

What does one bored princess do on a slow day in court? She pulls a prank on her sleeping sister, of course!

An HiE one-shot.

Inspired by two image gifs made by forgalorga on Derpibooru. Cover art also belong to said owner.

Published 2016-12-13 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-19 09:47:16 UTC

"Pranklestia" Strikes Again!

It is another boring day in the throne room for me and Celestia. There haven't been any appointments as the royal secretary told us save for one later in the day, so we're just sitting here in silence doing nothing. That is until Celestia breaks the silence.

"Justin, would you like to do something fun with me?" she asks with a smile.

I look at her with a raised brow, then nod since I got nothing better to do as well. So, we were walking down the halls of the castle. Still in silence, I look at the Sun Princess who still has a smile on her face while her eyes are closed. How she does that without bumping or knocking things over I'll never know, but it is impressive for the last five minutes.

"Sooo, what kind of fun do you have in mind, Tia?" I ask curiously.

She opens one eye to glance at me, her smile turning into a smirk. "You'll see when we get there, my little human."

And get there we did, and honestly I don't know why we're standing outside Luna's chambers. Without even knocking she opened the door quietly with her magic and walked in, yet held and wait while turning her head to look back at me. I followed as well. Normally, one would be hesitant doing so, but Luna and I are friends, so I am welcome here even without her permission. Just as long as I don't disturb her at least. It's dark in here, but at the same time I can still see clearly; the room held all the black and blue decorations that represents the night, fitting for the very princess that sleeps under the navy blue covers on her bed. Celestia crouched down in a cat-like position and approached the left side of the bed - impressively not waking the Moon Princess given how loud her hooves clad in golden horseshoes hit the floor outside - while I just walked casually on the right. Luna held a gentle smile on her muzzle, adding to the cuteness factor as she sleeps. Curiously, I watched as the white horn rose up followed by the face of Celestia, that playful smirk remaining on her muzzle as she eyed her young sibling. My eyes widen when an uncapped black marker followed suit next to her, then her smirk turned into a widest grin I've ever seen.

"Tia, what are you doing?" I hissed, gradually tensing as the marker inched closer to its target.

She smiled and winked at me. "Something that will make court a bit more interesting once Lulu wakes up and join us," she whispered back slyly.

Amazingly, the little sister never stirred even as Celestia does her work, and when she finished, we left the room and headed back to the throne room, trying our best to contain our chuckling.

Today is going to be interesting, all right...

So, now we're back in the throne room once more, with me sitting lazily on the steps staring upwards at nothing in particular while Celestia sits on her throne with her eyes closed as if meditating. A minute ago, she told me that this is the time that Luna will join us, so we're playing the waiting game.

We didn't wait long as the large, mahogany doors of the throne room opened wide and in walked the mare of the hour, dressed in her usual black regalia. As she approached with her usual grace befitting of a princess, Celestia raised a hoof to her mouth while I snorted in amusement the moment we looked at her face. A carefully drawn handlebar mustache adorns her snout while a perfect monocle circles around her left eye. Her right eye is also encircled just to make it look like she is wearing mascara.

“Good day, Tia,” the younger sibling greets with a warm smile as she stopped before the steps near me, completely oblivious to our defilement of her face. “How are you doing?”

Celestia, with a low cough, lowered her hoof and returned the smile. “I am doing well, Lulu. Did you sleep well?” It never ceases to amaze me at how well she can hide her true emotions, but I guess it's due to the many, many, many years as princess of Equestria.

“Indeed. None of our subjects had any nightmares last night, so We slept peacefully.” She then turned to me and nods. “Good to see thee again, Sir Justin.”

“Likewise, Princess Luna,” I replied respectfully with a straight face, looking her straight in her beautiful teal eyes and not her marked face.

At that, she stride up the steps and takes her seat on the dais, on her elder sister's right. I turned my head and bit to glance at the latter, noticing her glancing sideways at Luna while chewing the inside of her cheeks, trying her best not to laugh. Her eyes immediately turned away when Luna noticed her staring with a raised brow, and I face forward again while pursing my lips. Celestia and I knew that we are losing this silent battle, and sooner or later Luna will start asking questions.

Thankfully, the doors opened once more and a familiar white unicorn stallion in a fancy gray suit and monocle walked in. Looks like he is our one appointment.

Fancy Pants stopped before the dais and bowed low. “Good day to you, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” he greets formally before straightening up and looked at me with a smile. “And to you as well, Mr. Justin.”

“Hello, Mr. Fancy Pants,” Celestia returned with her own smile while Luna and I nods. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

He opened his mouth to start whatever the appointment’s about when he finally looked at Luna, and I forced back a laugh seeing his eyes widen in shock as whatever words he was about to say hitched in his throat.

“Is everything well, Sir Fancy Pants?” the Moon Princess asked with a tilt of her head. Celestia, however, remained quiet with a knowing smirk.

Her words seemed to snap him out of it as he quickly shook his head and coughed in his hoof, “Er, well yes. A-anyway, I was just about to give you my report on the goings-on in estate affairs as well as a few copies of the paperwork.” His eyes kept darting from Luna to me and Celestia, but most of the time he keeps eyeing the former. He went quiet again as he could see my body shaking with contained mirth.

“Y-yes?” Celestia finally speaks, though I could hear in her tone that she is starting to lose her composure as well.

I thought I saw a metaphorical sweat drop going down the side of his forehead, but he finally answered, “As much as I wish to turn them in now, I fear that I may… have left them at home in my rush to make it here. If by your permission, I wish to return with them at a later time.”

Before any of the princesses could say a word in response, he quickly turned around and briskly walked back towards the entrance. Once said doors closed behind him, I finally lost it and rolled around, laughing hard, while Celestia was giggling into her hoof.

“Pray tell, may We ask what is so amusing?” Luna asks while exchanging glances between us with a genuinely confused expression.

I managed to recover my composure a bit to sit up and look at her with a smirk. "I-I'm sorry, Princess Luna, b-but have you looked in a mirror lately?” I stuttered out, receiving an even more confused look.

“We only put on Our royal attire the minute We awoke. Why?”

Instead of answering, the Sun Princess summoned a hand mirror out of thin air and levitates it to her sister, which she took in her own magic…

So here we are in the corridors of the castle once more, Celestia and I running for our lives while dodging the many bolts of magic sent our way by one angry Mare of the Night.

“Tia. The next time you decide to start another prank war with your sister, leave me out of it,” I said calmly while ducking low to avoid a bolt to the head that smashed into a piece of armor on a stand, which crumbled into dust. Whoo boy!

“I can’t make any promises, my dear human,” the princess laughed before jumping up to avoid a low-flying bolt but maintained her momentum next to me. “But you have to admit this is better than sitting around in court all day, isn’t it?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head yet could not hold back a grin, then we both picked up speed as an angry, Royal Canterlot Voice-filled scream echoed behind us.

“THOU TWO WILL RUE THE DAY FOR DEFILING OUR ROYAL FACE!!! COME BACK HERE AND TAKE THINE PUNISHMENT!!!”

Well, today have definitely become interesting for sure.

Bonus: Luna's Revenge

Author's Note

An extra chapter where our Princess of the Night gets her revenge. :pinkiecrazy:

Bonus: Luna's Revenge

I don't know how, but we managed to put as much distance possible and got away unscathed from Little Miss Temper-In-Blue-Fur thanks to Celestia's quick thinking. Though why she would choose a janitor's closet that would only fit two ponies smaller than her I'll never know. What was once supposed to be a good-fun prank (from Tia's perspective) now turned into one that resulted into running for our lives. Despite that it is slightly cramped, it is better than nothing or worse, getting caught by the Moon Princess; I don't plan on spending the rest of my days on the moon at any time soon nor do I intend to. For Tia, however, I doubt the Sun Princess would have any worries about that since she can just teleport with her magic. Darn Alicorns.

So we're in here for ten minutes (I think) catching our breath while listening for any sound of approaching hooves. We kept our eyes peeled on the door as well as any shadow that pass by, for fearing that if we turn away for even a millisecond it would burst open and our fates would be decided.

"Do you think we lost her?" I whisper to Celestia whose body, to my slight discomfort, is pressed against my back due to the tight space while her head is resting on my right shoulder. Not that I could blame her for it anyway save for her choice of hiding places.

"I don't know," she replied before letting out a sigh while looking straight at the door. "We've been in here for quite a while and we haven't heard anything... yet."

"Can you use your magic to see if the coast is clear?" I asked nervously, starting to sweat a bit due to the room feeling stuffy. Tia, unfortunately, shook her head.

"I'm afraid not. My sister and I are connected to the same magic we use to raise and lower the sun and moon due to us being Alicorns. If I try to cast any spell, she will detect it."

I swallowed a little at that. There were some running outside that passed by the closet just a few minutes ago - whom I assumed was Luna - but other than that, it is completely quiet now. Unable to cope with the eerie silence, I steeled myself and straightened up from the crouching position I was in, Tia removing her head in the process as she understood what I was going to do next. I slowly stepped forward and reached for the doorknob. Turning it, I opened the door a bit to peek one eye out and looked around. So far, not even a guard is in the hallway. With the coast clear I opened it all the way and stepped out, allowing the cool air from a nearby window to hit me which felt relieving after being inside a small, stuffy closet with a pony who is as tall as a horse behind one's back. Celestia followed suit and looked down the hall.

"Well, now that we lost Luna, why don't we head down to the kitchen and grab us a light snack?" I offered while stretching my sore muscles that came with our "impromptu exercise". "I'm sure that we're both a bit hungry after all that running."

"That sounds wonderful, Justin," she says with a smile. "Even though I still have court duties, I don't think going back to the throne room would be a good idea."

I couldn't agree more with her. We were lucky to get away from her at all. However, that luck seem to have disappeared as just when we were about to walk in the direction of the kitchen, we froze in our tracks like deer in headlights by a throat-clearing cough. Slowly, we turned our heads to see the one mare we dreaded to see at this time standing behind us with a scowl on her muzzle, which is now clean of the markings, we noted.

"Uh heh heh. H-hi, Princess Luna," I stuttered out with a nervous smile, yet kept my mouth shut by a glare she gives.

The princess in question then begins to walk in a counter-clockwise circle around us, like a shark to a prey. I nervously glanced at Celestia, who remains quiet and eerily calm as if expecting this.

“So,” Luna begins causing me to jump a bit,” Didst thou two enjoyed thyselves today? Thou enjoy making an embarrassment out of Us by defiling Our face?”

“Actually, I did nothing to you,” I defended while pointing at the Sun Princess beside me, “It was Celestia’s idea.”

“Even if thou did do nothing, Sir Justin, thou still got involved with Our sister’s prank, making thee an accomplice,” she stated as her left eye stared at me stoically as she walked in my sight.

...She’s got me there.

While still encircling us, the younger alicorn continues, “Tell us, dearest sister. What is the one… and only most important rule that we set for our Royal Prank War?”

I raised a brow at this in a bit of confusion. ‘Rule?’ I looked at the princess in question who sat on her haunches with her eyes closed. How could she remain so calm in a situation like this I’ll never know, but I am certain this isn’t the first merry-go-round she’s been in.

Celestia exhaled a bit before opening her eyes to look forward and not her sister who passed around us for the fourth time. “We are not to prank each other during court hours,” she answers.

“Indeed, and what exactly have thou done today?” Celestia went quiet, yet Luna already knew the answer.

“Uh, can someone please tell me what we’re talking about? What rule?” I asked with a frown.

Celestia glanced at me. “When we started our Prank War as fillies, we were to do as we please without restraint, while our parents ruled over Equestria. Lulu and I enjoyed embarrassing one another without worry about what the public thinks, and we still do up to today.

“However, when it was our time to ascend to the throne, we had to make it where we can only prank on our free days and after court hours. We agreed to this rule because the one time around 1,007 years ago we pranked one another around a noble, and that started to spread rumors and caused quite an outrage among other nobles.” She shook her head and sighed. “Needless to say, it was even more embarrassing when the masses started saying we are unfit to be their princesses. It took quite a while to dismiss those rumors and reestablish our image as their rulers.”

“Indeed,” Luna agrees, who we noticed is now standing in front of us.

My frown deepened. “If you made that rule, then why did you go and do it today?”

Celestia smiled sheepishly. “I got a little bored and I may have… ‘forgotten’ about the rule.”

“That is untrue, Tia,” the Moon Princess called her out with a glare. “Thou knew it was against the rules, yet thou went ahead and prank Us whilst We sleep and said nothing while we had a visitor in court, and a noble, nonetheless!” She closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her snout with a hoof while letting out a frustrating sigh. “Dost thou not learnt from thy mistake the last time this hath happened? Had it been any other noble than Mr. Fancy Pants, and with how the new generations of nobles are now, We wouldst be embarrassed for many moons to come. We wouldst never be seen in public for the rest of Our long life.”

I tore my scolding gaze from Celestia to look at her sister with a bit of sympathy. “I did not know about this. If I did, I would not have joined Tia in her pranking. I’m sorry.”

She replaced her hoof back on the ground to look up at us with a stoic gaze. “While thine apology is acceptable, thou will still be punished.”

I swallowed a lump at that. I can only hope that whatever she will do, it won’t be as bad as it will be to Celestia. Luna then stood up and circle around us once more, humming in thought. “Now then. What shall be thine punishment for this?” was one thing I heard from her mutterings. I glanced at Celestia, who remained quiet as ever, yet beneath that mask of calm, I could tell by just the tiniest bit that she is nervous. After living with them for several months, you can see through their so-called “Princess Masks” if you look hard enough.

After what felt like forever, Luna finally stops in front of us and faced us, staring at us hard. I began to sweat a bit after a few minutes of her hard teal eyes boring into mine and Celestia’s. Then, to my growing dread, she smirks before turning about face and trotted off in the same direction we were about to go. Tia and I exchanged nervous looks before we followed suit.

“Uh, Princess Luna? Where are you going? What about our punishment?” I asked nervously, walking behind the princess in question before getting a white-wing nudge on the side from a frowning Celestia.

The Moon Princess turned her head to glance sideways at me before grinning a toothy grin. “Oh, thou punishment and Tia’s will be given, but not this day.” She giggled deviously and faced forward while I gulped again. “Until then, shall we head to the kitchen and grab a bite like thou suggested?”

Suddenly I don’t feel hungry right now…

It is Saturday, five days since Luna confronted us for our punishment. Needless to say I did not get a good amount of sleep the first day; I was so afraid that if I fall asleep, the Princess of the Night would pounce on me and take action. Celestia, when I saw her, fared no better either. Yet Luna, who remained calm and well-rested, have done nothing to us, which did not help with our growing nerves whatsoever, and whenever we saw Luna either at the dining hall, in the throne room or anywhere in the castle, we would keep our distance in case she strikes.

It was on the fourth night when Celestia and I actually thought she may have forgotten about it and we were just getting worried over nothing. That alone did put our minds at ease and on that night we were able to sleep a bit easier, letting our guard down…

I let out a yawn and stretched as I got out of bed and head for the bathroom to do my morning business. After flushing the toilet, I next stopped before the sink and mirror. Keep in mind that the entire time since I entered the bathroom, my head was down and my eyes are still almost closed. So with that, only when I finally looked up at my reflection and saw my face did my eyes open wide in horror and I let out a scream that could shake the castle to its foundations, although I could have sworn I heard a familiar scream doing that instead as well as a few sounds of glass shattering in the distance, confirming that something similar have happened to a certain princess as well.

No words could describe the unbridled fury and utter embarrassment I am feeling right now as I stomped my way down the corridors towards the mess hall with my head down. I had given up after at least tries of using soap and water because all it did was scrub my face raw around the “defecation” that is on my face. There isn’t even a smear out of it. Whatever marker Luna used, she made sure nothing will make it come off, and it is more humiliating that I have to confront her looking like this.
Finally reaching the doors to my destination, I was just about to burst in and give Luna what she is about to deserve when I heard hoofsteps drawing near from other hallway. I looked up and saw Celestia with her head down as well, her once kempt, prismatic mane drooping over to the ground and not flowing like it used to save for her tail, telling me all that needs to be said. She never looked up even as she stopped in front of me.

“You too, huh?” I ask though it was more of a statement than a question, receiving a disgruntled hum in return. “Let me guess: You tried to wash it off and failed because she used a permanent marker. It is so embarrassing that you have to hide behind your mane. Raise a hoof if I’m right.” She did as told and I shook my head. “Surely it’s not as bad compared to what I got.”

Her body shook a little as she let out a dry laugh. “‘Not as bad’?” she repeated. Then, she lifts her head followed by a hoof to flip her mane to the side, revealing Luna’s hoofiwork which caused my eyes to widen and lips to purse as she stared at me. “Then tell me, what could be more embarrassing than looking like a middle-aged stallion, hmm?”

If it weren’t for our current predicament, I would be rolling on the floor with my sides hurting from laughter. Let me backtrack to when I looked in the mirror. What I saw is a large full-rim glasses carefully drawn around my eyes, but what hurt my “man-pride” more is when she added three whiskers on each cheek and a large red dot on my nose. Celestia, on the other hand, definitely got it worse: instead of a simple handlebar moustache she got the full-grown, black beard around her lips that reaches her ears.

“Well, if it will make you feel any better, mine is worse,” I said with a half-smile.

She snorted at that, before turning her head to the door which I was about to enter. With a nod, we both opened and entered to see the Princess of the Night sitting in her spot at the long table sipping on her coffee while looking at a newspaper held in her magic. Only when she heard the door open did she turn to look at us, her face morphing into a toothy grin.

“So, didst thou two sleep well?” she asks casually while we glare daggers at her. “Didst thou truly think that We would forget about thine punishment?” She shook her head and clicked her tongue. “Thou should know better. We said We will carry out thine punishment soon, so We merely waited until thine guard is down. To see thee now with Our hoofiwork brings more joy to Our already starting day,” she says in victory.

Celestia snorted while I growled yet we said nothing as she returned to her drink and newspaper. Just when we were about to take our seats at the table, Luna continued while keeping her eyes on the paper.

“And a quick reminder: save the water and soap. The marker We used is enchanted and it will not wear off for the next four weeks,” she explained making our jaws drop before lowering the newspaper to look at us with a narrowed stare. “Consider this a hard lesson for ‘forgetting’ the rules and payback for Our embarrassment that day.”

With that, she raised the newspaper once more, ignoring the hateful stares we’re giving her. I couldn’t believe this! Celestia have court duties while I… well, it is my weekend off, but we have to be in public while looking like this?! That--! That--!

“Celestia?” I breathed out while looking down at the table, though I can tell I got the mare in question’s attention. “Do you have any more of those enchanted markers?” I asked in a dangerously calm voice.

“Yes. Why?”

I narrowed my eyes while glancing sideways at her. “Because when this is over,” I said in a low tone, not even caring if her sister hears me, “I am giving Luna a whole new makeover when I am done.”

“We heard that,” the Moon Princess calls out.

Note to self: Never play pranks with Celestia from now on.