The Non-existant Love Life of P.L
Beep This is PL's Answering Machine... things are about to get Batty. Beep
beep " WHY WON"T YOU LOVE ME ANY MORE" beep
beep You have reached Captain P.L. I don't love you, because you are an Ex... what more reason do I need? Beep
beep EVERY REASON, I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, SHE HAPPENED, SHE COMES BACK AROUND, BECOMES YOUR EVERYTHING, AND I'M LEFT IN THE DUST, CAN SHE MAKE YOU HAPPY LIKE I DID!!! Beep
beep You have reached the Answering Machine of Captain P.L. Goblin. My duty has always been, always will be the Thestrals first, and the commands of Princess Luna. If there is somepony to blame, it's our parents for thinking they could put anything between me and my duty. Beep
beep DUTY? DUTY! WHAT ABOUT YOUR DUTY TO ME, ONE WHO LOVED YOU, WHO SHARED A CEILING NIGHT AFTER NIGHT WITH YOU, WHO WANTED CHILDREN WITH YOU beep
beep You have Reached Captain P.L. I am unable/uninterested in collecting your call. Goblin, need I remind you... YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT! Beep
beep IT WAS A FIGHT, A FIGHT, I LEFT TO GO TO MY PARENTS HOUSE, I WANTED TO SPEND THE NIGHT OF SORROW WITH YOU, BUT YOU SAID NO, THEN DAWN DOESN'T COME AND WE ALL KNEW WHAT HAPPENED, ONE FIGHT! Beep
Beep You have Reached the Logical Captain P.L. If you are here to Rant, go find somepony else. I have no emotions. Beep
beep um Pl dear this is former captain Flashwind and, I have a rather drunk, and if don't say so myself, lovely looking thestral mare hanging from my ceiling, it seems my husband found her coming from a bar with a few strange stallions, he has a black eye but isn't saying anything, and she keeps whispering your name beep
Beep You have Reached Captain P.L. I don't care. Go away. Beep
beep Captain PL, this is Former Captain Flashwind,Goblin, rather drunkenly and in pieces, has told me her story, you my dear Thestral are an Absolute Scoundrel beep
Luna sat back laughing listening in on her captain’s answering machine. How she had caught wind of this little situation... well actually she’d been snooping into the dreams of the two. She’d heard from P.L. the entire story. What a situation! Oh What a situation!
Captain P.L arrived back at his home deep within the Dark forest one night during the cold winter. Hearth Warming was rapidly approaching. Landing on a sturdy tree branch, the albino Batpony wrapped his wings about his armored body and shivered. His sensitive ears twitched listening to the sounds of the forest.
Music.
He closed his eyes, a heavy weight settling down into his stomach. His mother was at it again. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself towards the cave battling both the sick feeling, and the frozen winds.
Captain P.L was thirty-eight. He was long past his prime, this he could not deny. And since he had joined the Lunar Guard back when he was actually young, The first words out of his mother’s lips had been. “So when are you going to give me Grandfoals?”
He entered, anticipating the dreaded phrase. She was, in fact there to greet him at the door. Luminance Bright was just as white as he was. Though her’s was more from advanced age, rather from naturally being an Albino. “P! YOU ARE HOME MY BELOVED SON!”
Captain P.L. Tried not to wince as his mother expressed her affection! “Just wait right here! I have somepony I want you to meet.”
That had been the start of that. From there, he found himself married the next day to an emotional, over the top, frilly, undisciplined... mare.
P.L. had been more than ecstatic when on their wedding night he’d been called away. From that point on, over the eight years of their marriage, he’d probably only spent a full day home with her. Maybe two. His marriage was not well known amongst his legion, but Luna had managed to find out after her return, and Goblin’s thankful departure back home to cry into her mother’s wings. The first break of being BEGGED to spend a full day together.
Throughout their long paper marriage, The most they’d ever had together, was a shared fish after a combined hunt... combined meaning he caught it, he cleaned it, and then she complained about the bones.
Beep You have reached Captain P.L. Flashwind, don’t stick your wings where they don’t belong. Or I’ll bite them off. beep
Flashwind slammed down the phone in utter disgust. She gazed up to Goblin, still managing to hang from her ceiling’ how do they do that’ when she rethought the story in her head.
Goblin told her about how they met at a hearth's warming party, how tomorrow they were married at first twilight’s dusk the next day at the insistence of his mothers, how she wanted an engagement period but was ignored. How she spent her days without him tending to a cave without personality, how his allure and handsomeness soon became a worthless novelty, how on her birthday during a combined hunt he didn’t even give her a chance to show him her hunting and proper fish preparing skills. The worst of it was when she finally got the courage to tell him to stay home for the day that turned into a shouting match with him praising duty over her. She told her about the many cold nights, the constant temptation to bring another stallion into her house that never ended up happening, the long pondering looks at Leapers cliff on days remembering he only ever barely kissed her once. The knowledge that he found somepony he wanted that she could never compete against. Before Goblin fully succumbed to sleep she managed a final whisper about how she stopped pretending to be happy long ago.
Author's Note
well's this might become something ^^
lots of props to CowgirlVK everyone