Twas the Eve of Hearth's Warming...
Twas the eve of Hearth’s Warming, and all through the town,
All the ponies were smiling, with nary a frown.
Everyone was laughing and in a fine mood,
With drinks, and candies, and lots of good food.
Foals huddled by fires, wrapped in blankets tight,
As their elders told stories of the first fateful night.
Everyone was jolly and filled with good cheer,
Except for one Anon, who smelled of cheap beer.
He was all by himself, locked up in his home,
Where he brooded and pouted and drank all alone.
He sat in the dark, his mind all muddled,
As beer after beer he gulped down and guzzled.
He downed each bottle, only to wince at the taste,
But the discomfort did little to slow his quick pace.
He had just finished his sixth and reached down for one more,
When suddenly there came three knocks on his door.
At the noise he did stiffened; his face became grim.
There was only one pony who’d be there to see him,
This late at night, with weather so cold.
If he opened that door, he knew what he’d behold.
A mare of yellow coat and pink mane,
Who visited each day, come hail, snow, or rain.
She always came calling, with some stupid guess,
And just the thought of her now brought him much more distress.
Grumbling to himself, he rose from his chair.
“I wonder what she wants now, that stupid little mare.”
Across the room he stumbled, his footsteps unsteady,
For he had drank half his supply of beer already.
He finally managed to find the door with great care,
And he threw it wide open to shout at the mare.
But instead of Fluttershy, he found instead strewn,
Upon his doorstep the Princess of the Sun and the Moon.
Their faces were red, and they giggled quiet gamely,
As they swayed back and forth in a manner ungainly,
With their flanks on the floor and their hooves in the air.
Their crowns were gone, and their chests were both bare.
As the door opened, they looked at the man,
And with a drunk smile, Luna quickly began,
To cheer and to shout, though her words were quite slurred.
“Ah, there he is,” she practically purred.
“Oh, Anon,” Celestia said with snort and a smile.
“We finally found you, though it took us a while.
“We were looking for you all over the town,
“Luckily Pinkie told us where you could be found.”
Anon stared at the mares, his mind all befuddled,
As they stared back at him, large grins on their muzzles.
After a moment, he finally slumped and sighed,
And opening the door, he motioned them inside.
“Get your flanks in here,” he said through his teeth.
“And Luna, kindly stop eating my wreath.”
The mares didn’t need to be told more than twice,
And they slipped inside out of the cold and the ice.
They glanced around blankly as he slid the lock in place,
Then Celestia said, with a sad look on her face,
“Where is the fire? Where are the treats?
Where are the streamers and decorative sheets?”
“You’ll find none of them here,” Anon said with a scowl,
And the sisters could see that his mood was quite foul.
“I haven’t celebrated the holidays in over three years,
“But if you’re looking for drink, I have some more beers.”
Luna looked sad; in fact she looked quiet forlorn,
But not Celestia, who quickly lit up her long horn,
And in a flash of light and a jingle-like sound,
Festive things became to appear all around.
There was a tree in the corner, and streamers down the halls,
And wreaths and garland appeared on the walls.
Candles appeared, with their flames all a’flicker,
As Celestia danced around with a whinny and a nicker.
In short order his home was covered in tinsel and lace,
And a merry fire was roaring in the proper place.
It was so brilliant, and the dark all but disappeared,
As Celestia stood there, grinning from ear-to-ear.
“There we are,” she said with a drunken half-giggle,
And diving on his couch, she began to wiggle,
Under the blankets in front of the roaring fire.
Anon just stood there, trying to figure out what had transpired.
“Where did this come from? What have you done?”
“Oh, Anon,” she giggled, “don’t ruin the fun.
“My sister and I have watched you each year,
“As you sit all alone and drown in your beer.
“That’s no way to celebrate such a wonderful night,
“So my sister and I are here to make everything right.”
“Tis true,” Luna added with a lopsided grin,
“For I too know about the sorrow that lies deep within.”
“You two are crazy,” Anon huffed. “I’m perfectly fine.”
Celestia then pouted and held up some wine.
“Please, Anon,” she said, her lip all a quiver.
“Will you at least let us help you kill off your liver?”
Anon stared at the bottle, and tried to debate,
Whether or not he was in the right state,
To deal with these ponies; they could be quite tricky,
But eventually he decided that he couldn’t be picky.
And company was company, especially tonight,
So with a sigh, he nodded and said, “Alright.
“We’ll do things your way, but just so you know.
“If either of you try something, you’re out in the snow.”
“Why, Anon!” Celestia cried with a startled gasp,
“We would never do something so vulgar and crass!
“We’ve just come to help you celebrate the holidays proper.”
And with that, she quickly pulled out the stopper.
They drank of the wine and partook in the treats,
Even as snow slowly continued to blanket the streets.
And soon enough a smile appeared on Anon’s face,
As the sisters helped him escape depression’s embrace.
The trio laughed and they joked, through the dark winter night.
Chatting and singing in the soft fire light.
They snuggled down deep in blankets so warm,
Ignoring the snow that outside did storm.
They spoke of past experiences, of friends they had known.
The sisters told of the days before they had taken the throne.
And Anon had too, tales of his past,
Which he had shared with no one, but now revealed at last.
It was just about nearing a quarter past four,
When Luna suddenly started to snore.
She had fallen asleep, right there on the rug.
With frosting on her lips and eggnog in her mug.
Celestia and Anon both watched her with smiles,
As they continued to work through their candy stockpiles.
Slowly the fire began to fade until only embers remained,
And that’s when Anon smile slowly began to fade.
He looked at Celestia, with her coat all so white,
And he thought about what had transpired that night.
So as the embers and the burnt logs did sputter,
Anon leaned back and said in a mutter,
“Thank you Celestia, for all that you’ve done,
“But all of this stuff… you’ve clearly overdone.
“I’m no one to waste such time and such flair,
“Your efforts tonight would have been better spent elsewhere.
“I am not all that special, no not in the least,
“Yet you come here bearing good drink and a feast,
“The likes of which I have never had before!
“So tell me Celestia, why did you knock on my door?”
Celestia was quiet for quite a long while,
But when she did answer, she did so with a smile.
She unfurled a wing, and pulled him in close,
Til a scent hit his nose of lilac and rose.
“My dear little human,” she hummed in her chest.
“When it comes to how you’re feeling, I know it the best.
“For hundreds of years I have been all alone,
“Celebrating the holidays in my room on my own.
“I’d stare up at the moon, and the face it did bear,
“And I’d think of my sister, who was trapped up there.
“Together we suffered in our own special way,
“Her during the night, and me during the day.
“We both know the feeling of sorrow and hopeless grief,
“So that’s why we came to you tonight, bearing relief.
“For this is a lesson we both learned too well on our own;
Nopony should ever have to suffer the holidays alone.”
With that she yawned, and laid down her head,
And promptly fell asleep, using the couch as a bed.
Anon just sat there, the Princess’s head in his lap,
As the embers before him quietly continued to pop and to snap.
He stroke her mane gently, his touch was so light,
And as he felt himself begin to drift off for the night,
He whispered softly, with his eyes full of tears,
“Thank you, Celestia, for the best gift I’ve had in years.”
And with that he snuggled on down into the blankets warm,
Where he would stay until the dull light of the morn,
Awoke the trio and brought with it a horrible headache.
He cared little now though, as that was Future-Anon’s fate.
And with that the small party came to an end,
But with all three of them now the closest of friends.
And with that, I think I’ll put this book back on the shelf.
Merry Christmas to all, and go fuck yourself.
