The Hangover

by SlimeTheDude2

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 3548

Las Pegasus, the city of sin. Three men wake up in their hotel room after a bachelor party they can't remember, and the groom-to-be is nowhere to be found.

Cool Ridge is getting married, decides to have his bachelor party in Las Pegasus. He brings his two childhood friends, Star Fruit and Eclipse, and his brother-in-law, Crash Course. After a night of drinking Starfruit Carambola, Eclipse, and Crash Course wake up in their hotel room with no recollection of what happened the previous night and discover that Cool Ridge is missing. Can they find Cool Ridge before his wedding, or will he be lost to Las Pegasus forever?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-10 22:32:45 UTC

Chapter One

It was a hot day in San Franciscolt. At a large house, a wedding was taking place. "Hey, this is Cool Ridge. Sorry, I missed your call. Say your name and number and I'll get back to you," came out a phone. The woman who called sighed. Her pastel green and brown hair was getting done. She tried another phone number.

"Hi, you've reached Doctor Eclipse, with Solar Dental Industries. Please leave a message after the-" said a different voice through the phone before the woman cut the recording off. She tried one final phone number.

"Hey, this is Starfruit. Leave me a message, or don't. Do me a favor and don't text me, it's gay," said the third voice. The woman sighed again. An older woman walked over the woman getting her hair done.

"Anything, Minty?" asked the woman.

"Nope. They all keep going to voicemail," said Minty. She dropped her phone onto her lap.

"Well, there has to be an explanation." The older woman put her hands on her hips in annoyance.

"Sweetie," started an older man, "It's Pegasus. Celestia knows you can't tell the time in those casinos. No windows, no clocks. They're probably on a heater, and you never walk away from a table when you're on a heater." The man talked while looking at a book.

"You do if you're getting married," said the older woman in an annoyed tone. Minty's phone began to ring.

Answering it Minty said, "Hello?"

"Minty, it's Starfruit," said the voice on the phone. Minty immediately  stood up. Starfruit was standing in the San Palomino Desert, across a dirt road from a parked car. At the parked car were three other men. Starstar was heavily breathing. A small but sizable part of his lower lip had scabbed over. His sunglasses were tinted red. His hair was a pastel yellow with streaks of lime green. The back of his hair was down a very small portion of his neck, while the front was towards the back, showing his hairline. He had stubble growing on his face. There were three claw marks on his neck.

"Starfruit, where are you guys?" asked Minty in a hushed tone. Her voice resonated with anger. Her brow furrowed. "I'm freaking out."

"Yeah, listen." Starfruit inhaled through his nose, creating a sniffling sound. "We fucked up."

"What are you talking about?" Minty began angrily walking away, with the older woman following her.

"The bachelor party. The whole night." Starfruit paused. "Things got out of control, and, uh, we lost Ridge."

"What?"

"We can't find him."

"What are you saying? We're getting married in five hours."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

Two days earlier.

"To the left, a little, and to the back," set a man. He was fitting a suit for a larger set man. The man who was fitting the suit raised his hand closer to the crotch of the other.

"Hey, watch it!... Pervert," yelled the man getting his suit fitted. He had curly purple hair. His bushy beard was also the same color.

"Crash, he's only doing your inseams," said another man. His hair was short and light blue.

"Well, Ridge, he was getting really close to my shaft," said Crash defensively.

"All done," said the man fitting the suit, "you can change now." The man walked out of the room.

"Thanks, Prominence, thank you," said Ridge. "Alright, we need to get started." Ridge and Crash began to take their suits off.

"You know... if you want to go to Pegasus without me, that is absolutely cool," said Crash.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Starfruit and Eclipse are your friends, and it's your party, and..."

"Come on Crash, they love you."

"I mean, I don't want you to hold back because your wife's brother is with you." Crash took off his pants. His underpants had a large hole in the back, showing most of his butt.

"It's not like that," said Ridge. He looked up to see Crash's butt, pausing for a second. "It isn't like that. I already told this. We're just spending the night in Pegasus. Besides, you're my brother now too."

"I want you to know this," began Crash. He spoke in a very serious tone. "Whatever happens, will never be spoken to anybody, ever."

"I got it, but I don't think that we'll need that."

"I'm not joking. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Nothing leaves Sin City."

"...Okay. I got it... Thank you."

"No, thank you." Crash pulls Ridge into a hug.

"I knew it!" exclaimed an old man.

"Dad!" said Minty.

"Oh stop it. I'm just joking. And Crash put some pants on, you got weird legs."

"Yes daddy," said Crash.

"His legs look fine," said Minty defensively.

"No, he has his mother's legs. They're just..." the old man shuttered. Ridge and Minty gave the man looks of annoyance. "Alen! I'm teasing you. You have wonderful legs. Way better than your mother's." Minty closed the door behind her dad.

"Two more days and all this planning will be all over and we'll be married," Minty said.

"I know. Nervous yet?" joked Ridge. Minty pulled Ridge into a kiss. "I don't need to go to Pegasus, it's dumb."

"It's not dumb. How much can one night do?"

"I know... but we should have gone last weekend. I'm... I'm gonna cancel."

"No, you're not. Crash packed his bags a month ago."

"Really?"

"Yup"

"A month?"

"Correct. He's just... excited." Minty giggled. "I can't thank you enough for bringing him."

"It's nothing, he's a cool guy."

"He is not cool, and it isn't nothing. Thank you." Minty kissed Ridge again. Afterward, Ridge went outside to get his car ready. When he walked out the front door, he saw Minty's father.

"Hey Drift, I just want to thank you again for all you're doing this weekend," said Ridge.

"Yeah, it's great. you love us, we love you. Terrific." Drift and Ridge walked side by side towards Ridge's car. "Talk to me about Pegasus."

"It should be pretty mellow and relaxed. Gamble, maybe catch a bit of sun."

"Yeah, some laughs. How are ya... getting out there?"

"We're gonna use my car. Gonna pick up my friends after this."

"The hybrid?"

"Yeah."

"Y'know, when you go to Pegasus," started Drift. He took out the remote to the garage door and opened it. "You gotta go to Pegasus." The door opened to show a silver convertible. It looked like an old build but was in pristine conditions.

"No, Drift, you love that car."

"Well, you're family now."

"You love this car."

"Sweet Celestia, it's only a car. Just, put some amoral on the tires when you get to the desert. Stops the sand."

"Will do."

"Don't let Crash drive, I think there is something wrong with him. And Starfruit too, I just don't like him."

"Understood. In fact, I'll be the only person driving."

"Good" Drift tossed the keys to Ridge. "Remember, what happens in Pegasus, stays in Pegasus... Except for HIV, that stays with you."

The school bell rang. "Hold on everybody," began Starfruit, "remember to bring your permission slips and ninety bits for the Crystal Observatory. You're missing out of a one in a lifetime opportunity." The students stood up and walked out of the classroom, some giving Starfruit permission slips and money. "You really came through Pip," said Starfruit as one student gave him the permission slip. As the final student walked out Starfruit said, "Whoa, Scootaloo, what gives? No planetarium?"

"I can't get any, I'm grounded," said Scootaloo.

"How much you got on you?"

"Like, twenty bits."

"Alright, give that me... and I'll cover the rest."

"Really?"

"Yeah... well, we'll talk about it. But give me the twenty."

"Cool. Thanks, Mr. Carambola," said Scootaloo as she gave Starfruit the twenty bits and walked out of the classroom. After she left, Starfruit took out an envelope with 'Pegasus' written on it. Opening it, he took the money out of it. Then he part of the money in the permission slips and the twenty bits from Scootaloo and counted all of it, and put it back into the envelope.

Outside, Ridge and Crash waited outside the school in the car. "You have to be so close?" asked Crash.

"Why?" questioned Ridge.

"I shouldn't be here."

"Why is that?"

"I'm not supposed to be within one hundred feet from a school."

"...What?" Starfruit hurriedly walked out of the school, putting his sunglasses on. A student walked behind him.

"Mr. Carambola," began the student. Starfruit raised his hand stopping the kid.

"It's the weekend, Sweetie Belle. I don't know you. You are non-existent." Starfruit walked up to the convertible Ridge and Crash are in. "Shit, that's a nice car. Move off the steering wheel."

"No chance," said Ridge. "And don't ste-." Before Ridge could finish his sentence, Starfruit stepped on the side of the car to lift himself up and sat down in the backseat. "Celestia damn it, Starfruit."

"Shut up and drive, before any of these fuckers come up and talk to me." Starfruit looked over to Crash. "Who's this?"

"It's Crash, Minty's brother."

"Oh right." Starfruit's tone turned much happier. "What's up man?" asked Starfruit to Crash. Ridge began to drive off.

"Eclipse, don't forget your rogain," said a female.

"Rogaine, check," said Eclipse. His hair was of medium length. It was red and orange.

"Don't forget to use it top. I can tell when you don't."

"Using of the rogaine, check."

"And call me when you get to the hotel. I don't want it to be like the conference in Canterlot."

"I was the key-note speaker. I was late to the podium."

"Still?"

"Yeah, I know. You're right." Eclipse tried to kiss the woman but she turned her head away. "What is the matter?" asked Eclipse in an annoyed tone.

"I don't know. I just hope you're not gonna go to some strip club when you're there."

"We're going to Ponyville. I'm pretty sure there isn't even a strip club there."

"If there is, Starfruit will sniff it out." The woman sighed.

"It won't be like that. Besides, you know how I feel about that."

"I know. it's just boys and bachelor parties... it's gross.

"Yeah, gross. Why would I risk this, for some scantily clad women?"

"Yeah, I know. The worst part is, that girl, is somebodies daughter."

"I was just going to say that."

"I just wish your friends were as mature as you."

"They are mature. You just need to know them better."

"Paging Doctor Faggot!" yelled Starfruit. Eclipse and the woman sat in silence. "Doctor Faggot!"

"I should go," said Eclipse.

"That's a good idea, Doctor Faggot," said the woman.

"Have a good weekend, I'll miss you." Eclipse tried to kiss the woman again, but she turned her head.

The four of them were riding down the highway, with Ridge driving. Crash stood up in the car and began yelling in excitement. "Road Trip!" He sat down and began pounding on the side of the car. Seeing another car pull up to him he began yelling in excitement at the kid in the backseat of the other car. "Pegasus!" yelled Crash pointing a finger. "Pegasus, baby!" The kid flipped Crash off, silencing him.

"Come on man, just to Appleloosa, everybody is passing us!" yelled Starfruit. He was holding a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Nope, I'm the only one driving this car. Besides, you're drinking," said Ridge.

"I drive great when I'm drunk!" exclaimed Starfruit.

"He is our designating drunk driver," added Eclipse.

"Guys, my dad loves this car more than he loves me," said Crash.

"I left my wife and kids to come with you guys," said Starfruit.

"That's really sweet of you."

"I was being sarcastic. I fucking hate my life. Ridge, enjoy yourself now, cause you'll only be dying on this inside for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, that's why I've managed to stay single all this time."

"Oh really?" asked Eclipse.

"Yeah."

"Good to know."

They stopped at a gas station. Crash was outside, filling the car up with gas and reading a book. He told an old man to walk away when he talked him. "That's right, walk away."

"He's actually kinda funny," said Starfruit. He, Ridge, and Eclipse were inside, buying supplies.

"He means well," said Ridge.

"Is he mentally sound?"

"I think so. He just... odd."

"Should we be worried?"

"No. Not at all. Minty did mention that we shouldn't like him gamble or drink too much."

"What is he, a changeling?" Eclipse walked up behind the two and added one bottle of water to check-out.

"All good with Honeycomb?" asked Ridge to Eclipse.

"Oh yeah. Told her we're driving along the Everfree, and she bought it."

"Don't you think it is a bit strange that you still have to lie about where you are after three years?" asked Starfruit.

"Yep. But trust me, it is not worth the fight."

"So, you can't go to Pegasus, but she can have a bellhop go five inches into her on a cruise line?"

"Okay. Firstly, he was a bartender. Secondly, she was wasted. Thirdly, if you must know, he didn't even cum inside him."

"You believe that?"

"Yes, I do. She's grossed out be semen."

"That will be about three-fifty," said the worker.

"Got three-fifty?" asked Starfruit to Eclipse.

"It says we should work in teams," said Crash, who was reading a book. "Who wants to be my spotter?"

"I don't think you should be doing too much gambling Crash," said Ridge.

"Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling if you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foal-proof system."

"It's also illegal," added Eclipse.

"It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating in the Canterlot palace."

"Pretty sure that's illegal, too," said Starfruit.

"Yeah, maybe after the changeling invasion, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Chrysalis."

"Either way, you gotta be really smart to count cards," said Ridge.

"Oh really? Typhoon, because he basically bankrupted a casino and he was a ratard."

"What?" asked Eclipse.

"A ratard."

"Retard," corrected Ridge.

The four checked into the hotel. "Hello welcome to Sombra's Palace, checking in?" asked the receptionist.

"Yes. We have a reservation under Doctor Eclipse," said Eclipse.

"Okay, let me check that for you."

"Doctor? Eclipse, you're a dentist," said Starfruit, "Don't try to get fancy."

"Not fancy if it's true," retorted Eclipse.

"He's a dentist. So, if somebody has a heart attack, call 911."

"We will be sure to do that," said the receptionist. "So, I have you in a two bedroom suite on the twelfth floor, is that okay?"

"Sounds perfect," said Ridge.

"Actually, I was wondering if you had any villas available," said Starfruit, leaning on the desk.

"Starfruit, were not even going to be in the room," said Eclipse.

"It's unnecessary," added Ridge.

"It's no big deal. We'll share beds."

"If we share, I'm with Starfruit," claimed Crash.

"No," began Starfruit. "We're not sharing beds. How much is the villa?"

"We have one available, and it is forty-two hundred a night," answered the receptionist.

"We'll take it." Starfruit looked at Eclipse. "Give her your credit card."

"I can't," said Eclipse.

"We'll split it," said Ridge.

"Are you crazy?" asked Starfruit, "No, this is on us."

"You don't get it," started Eclipse, "Honeycomb checks my account."

"We just need a credit card on file, we won't change you until you leave," added the receptionist.

"Perfect. Thank you," said Starfruit. "We'll deal with it tomorrow."

"Fine," said Eclipse as he handed the receptionist her credit card.

"Is this the real palace Sombra lived in?" asked Crash.

"What do you mean?" asked the receptionist.

"Did Sombra live here?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

They entered their villa. "Holy shit!" exclaimed Starfruit.

This place is huge," said Eclipse. Crash picked up a jar of almonds.

"Look, free almonds," said Crash.

"No, no, no, no," said Eclipse as he put the jar back where it was.

"Eclipse, what the fuck?" asked Starfruit.

"It's on a pressure sensitive plate, when you pick it up, you have thirty seconds to put it back or they charge you. Those almonds are probably 14 bits."

"Come on Eclipse."Starfruit took a cup and filled it with water. He took the almonds and the cup and made sure they weighed the same.

"If you want almonds, you better put your credit card down."

"Watch this," said Starfruit as he put the cup of water where the jar was, making the plate think the jar was put back. Starfruit handed Crash the almonds. "Here you go, buddy. Alright everybody, pick a room, get dressed, be ready in thirty minutes."

"I just wish you could see this because you would love it," said Eclipse to Honeycomb over the phone. "Yeah, it's so quaint." Eclipse closed the curtains. "No TVs, no phones, only these cute radios." Starfruit and Ridge walked into Eclipse's room. "What else? We met the proprietor. His name is Shadow. Yeah, like Sombra. Well, we have to go to a wine tasting." Starfruit sat down on Eclipse's bed. "Wait, I love you. Bye."

"I'm even going to say anything, it's so embarrassing," said Starfruit.

"Where's Crash?"

"He's downstairs getting something," answered Ridge.

"Good, 'cause I got something to show you." Eclipse took out a ring.

"The hell is that?" asked Starfruit.

"What do you think it is?"

"I think it is a giant mistake."

"I'm gonna propose to Honeycomb at your wedding, after the ceremony of course."

"Eclipse, congratulations," said Ridge.

"Thank you, Ridge."

"It's a nice ring."

"It's my grandmother's. She made it all the way through Sombra reign with that thing."

"Have you not listened to anything I've ever said to you?" angrily asked Starfruit.

"Starfruit, we've been dating for three years. it's just how things work."

"A, that is bullshit. B, she abuses you."

"That was... twice, and I was out of line. She is strong willed."

"You're in denial. Not to mention that she fucked a sailor."

"Hey, he was a bartender," corrected Ridge, "we've been over this."

"Guys, I'm standing right here," said Eclipse.

"Hey, guys, ready to let the dogs out?" asked Crash.

"What?" Eclipse, Ridge, and Starfruit asked in unison.

"Ready to let the dogs out? Like the song."

"Yes, we're ready to let the dogs out," said Ridge, "and Eclipse, congratulations."

"Thank you," responded Eclipse. The four went up to the roof. "I'm just saying that it is clearly marked. We are not supposed to be here."

"If we are paying for a villa, we get to do whatever the fuck we want," said Starfruit. "Just use the cinderblock to hold the door open. The four climbed up to a higher part of the roof.

"How the hell did you find this place?" asked Ridge.

"Don't worry about it."

"Look at the view!"

"You happy?"

"This is amazing."

"Crash, how we doing, buddy?"

"Good," said Crash as he brought a bottle of jager and four shot glasses with him.

"This is good, I'd like to make a toast," said Eclipse, "to Ridge and Minty, may tonight be but a minor speed bump in a happy marriage. Cheers." The four took a shot.

"May I say something?" asked Crash.

"Go ahead," said Ridge."

"Hello, how 'bout that ride in. I guess that's why they call it Sin City. Ha ha. You guys might not know this but I consider myself a loner. A one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Ridge home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolfpack, it grew by one. There were two of... there were two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack, the Ridge joined in later. Six months ago, when Ridge introduced me to you two, I thought 'wait a second, could this be?' and now I know for sure. I added two more people into my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast." Crash took out a pocket knife. The other three jumped back.

"What do you got there?" asked Ridge. Crash then cut a bit of his hand so blood would cut out. The other three winced.

"Blood brothers."

"Crash. Crash, hand me the knife. Slowly." Ridge took the knife from Crash.

"I want everyone to focus," began Starfruit, " want to talk about something, I want to talk about memory." Starfruit began pacing, "Better yet, I want to talk about selective memory. You see, whatever happens tonight, may as well never happened at all. Because this circle is about as far as it will ever go, meaning forget everything." Ridge began laughing. "Ridge, I'm serious, I got a wife and kid." Ridge stopped. "Good or bad, we don't remember so we got nothing to talk about.  Nothing guys! Nothing! Deal?" Everybody agreed. "Perfect. Crash come here, buddy." Starfruit poured four shots. "To a night we'll never remember, but the four of us will never forget." The four of them then drank the shot.

"Chears!" they all said.