The Wacky Adventures Of KG
KG drinks to much cider.
Tonight is the night for celebrating you see? My buddy Skentrins(fimfiction user) had just proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes. So I'm buying him and myself a couple of drinks to celebrate. We stopped by the bar at around five in the afternoon. I order us some hard cider and we both swig it done like water.
"Thanks for buying my drinks KG" Skentrins thanked me consuming down another cup of cider.
"Dude it's time to celebrate you can thank me later. Hey bar keep? What do you have that's stronger than this" I shouted down to him.
"Try some AppleJack Daniels. This stuff is strong though so don't drink to much" He said and left us the bottle. I poured Skentrins and I a shot. We both slurped our shots down and finished at the same time. That stuff tasted strong, but it didn't have any after effect. I poured myself another shot and swigged it down like nothing.
After about five more shots and I was about ready to pass out. The walls were spinning and everything. Skentrins put an arm around me and we walked out of the bar. I didn't know about him but I was wasted. No wait, beyond wasted. Like a home made gift from your grandma that you said you liked but actually hated so you gave it to good will wasted. But then the good will down the street closed and all the clothes got thrown away and then some homeless guy used it for toilet paper wasted.
"Dude, are you Ok" Skentrins asked and his voice was all deep and distorted. And his face was all twisted and contorted, eyes were where they shouldn't be and there were teeth growing out of his nose.
What I wanted to tell him was "Dude I should probably go home" But what probably came out was "Dude I can ajfa ewoif *farting noise*" Followed by a drunk laughter. Anyway, we got back to my humble abode. My drunk goggles made It look like the wall paper was melting. He brought me over to my bed and instinctively I crawled in and I fell asleep like a baby.
I woke up to a nightmare. For starters my house was gone and I was on a floating platform that had my bed. Under my platform there were pink and purple anacondas slithering around and trying to jump up and get at me. I absolutely hated snakes. There were some floating platforms that led to my closet. I figured going there was better than staying here on my bed. I gulped and jumped for the first platform. Success! Now just ten more platforms to go. Son of a bitch I actually had to try to do something.
After the first five platforms things started to get more difficult. For starters the snakes were now getting better at jumping and jump up to the platforms and try to bite me. The rest of the platforms were moving back and forth now making me kinda motion sick. I had to carry on though. I jumped to platform six and swatted off the snakes that were getting at me. Platform seven started to rotate in circles when I got to it and it made me so sick that I threw up AppleJack Daniels on top of the snakes. Fun fact for you, snakes hate it when you throw up on them. A bunch of them all jumped up onto the platform and I did my best to swat them away.
Platforms eight and nine just repeated platform seven and when I got to platform ten it was just a hop, skip, and a jump to my closet. I all hope this was worth It. I got to my closet and I opened the door only to find a bunch of AppleJack Daniels bottles that all fell on top of my head. The finishing blow for me was when a snake jumped out of the closet and smacked me right across the face knocking my monocle and myself over the edge.
I screamed at the top of my lungs and shouted "If I die I'm going to kill who ever made AppleJack Daniels!" I fell into the pit of snakes and was quickly consumed by darkness. I laid there for quite sometime before getting up. I was still enveloped into darkness, but I saw a white light at the end of this long tunnel.
"I'm staying away from you buddy. I have seen to many movies about lights at the end of tunnels. I am NOT ready to go to heaven now" I spit in the direction of the light. Then suddenly I felt the ground begin to tremor. I heard a whistle. I turned around to see another light getting progressively closer and the ground shook more aggressively. I began to run towards the other light. I turned around and screamed "Oh fu-" *SMACK* I began to see stars for a bit and I opened my eyes. I was in front of the train. Smushed like a bug to the the train. Well I thought that It was a nice change instead of me doing all the running around. That was where I quickly thought wrong.
The train began to speed up and there was a huge drop off about 100 yards ahead of me. I squirmed around trying to get free but it turns out that the train had secured me tightly to the front. We approached the drop off and we zoomed downwards into a giant pit of more pink and purple snakes. Again I was enveloped in darkness, screaming at the top of my lungs.
I jumped up quickly, and looked around. It was my normal room, snake free room. I looked at the time and it was only nine thirty. I got up out of my bed and stumbled a bit from my hang over. That was the one thing I hated about drinking. Having a hangover is like having an ugly girlfriend that you broke up with still call you asking for a second chance. I walked towards my medicine cabinet hoping to find some pain killers. I opened the cabinet and screamed at what was staring back at me. A pink and purple Anaconda.
Fin.