Forever and Always

Rarity

Fluttershy breaks our kiss and disappears. Oh no.

Rainbow and I nearly tumble to the floor, because we forget to properly disentangle before chasing after her.

“Shy!” Rainbow calls out as she takes off up the stairs. I completely forget my muddy mess of a self, and take the stairs in leaps.
When I get to Fluttershy’s room, she is exactly where I expect her to be- hiding under the bed. Rainbow is laying on the floor trying to talk to her.

“Shy, I promise. It’s ok.” But Rainbow’s voice is shaking. She’s masking it as best she can, but if she were any less stalwart, then she would be hiding under a piece of furniture somewhere too.

All I can hear is mumbling that sounds like. “I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry.”

Decisions. Decisions.

We have danced around this for far too long anyway. Rainbow Dash needs to be comforted just as much as Fluttershy, and I won’t have either pegasus feeling ashamed. We’re in the middle of a glorious mess, and we’ll just have to start cleaning it up.

I focus on the bed. It’s larger than anything I’m accustomed to teleporting, but I’m confident I can move it to the living room without incident. The magic builds, Rainbow is looking at me confused. Then there’s a pop and thud downstairs. Before she can run, I throw myself at Fluttershy and wrap her in an embrace. Rainbow follows my lead, and cyan wings wrap around us.

Fluttershy is sobbing into our shoulders and apologizing. Rainbow is panicked. I catch her eye and give her a soothing smile. “Everything is going to be alright.” I say to both of them with only slightly more confidence than I feel.

Fluttershy pulls away and looks at us. “Alright? ALRIGHT?”

Well, that’s a tone I haven’t heard in awhile, and certainly never indoors.

I reach forward and kiss her cheek before she unleashes the full force of the anxiety I can see forming in her eyes. “Yes, darling. Everything is going to be alright.”

She collapses on herself a bit. “But I….”

“Did exactly what we wanted you to do.” I assure her.

She stares at me for a moment. I hold her gaze and feel Rainbow leaning forward to kiss Fluttershy gently on the neck. “Yeah, Shy,” she says. “I mean, this isn’t exactly how we planned for it to happen, but it’s still totally awesome.”

Fluttershy blinks and stares at Rainbow Dash incredulously. She knows Rainbow well enough to notice the nervous shake in her voice. Dashie glances quickly at me, and I shake my head. The look was a question. Rainbow’s answers to these situations are physical. She doesn’t know what to say, so her instinct is to kiss Fluttershy. I am certain it’s a bad idea, and if she truly thought about it she would be too. She nods subtly. Then returns her focus to Fluttershy, who is now looking back and forth between us.

“Wh- what,” she’s using her cowering tone now, “what just happened?”

Rainbow gives me another look deferring to me. This is all so confusing. I can’t begin to guess guess what motivated Fluttershy’s behavior downstairs. Rainbow’s reaction is complicated but not surprising. She’s been anxious for this. She’s been trying to plan in an almost Twilight-like fashion for weeks. Rainbow never wanted to approach Fluttershy in a purely sexual way. Neither did I, for that matter. This is not how she wanted things to go at all.

I haven’t begun to process the events downstairs, but I do know that we don’t want Fluttershy feeling like she’s done something wrong. I also know that Rainbow needs some time to collect her thoughts. Otherwise, she’ll be acting totally on impulse all night, and that’s rarely a good thing.

I’m grasping at straws, but a lady must keep her wits about her in such moments. Perhaps it is time to give Fluttershy all the information, so she can start making decisions about how she feels and wants us to handle this situation. She is a grown mare after all, and if I’ve learned anything tonight it’s that there is much about Fluttershy I don’t know.

“Rainbow gave me a look asking if she should kiss you,” Fluttershy stiffens. “I indicated that I didn’t feel that was wise at this point.” Fluttershy relaxes, but not in relief. Disappointment? I’m puzzled.. With that in mind I continue, “I don’t want to cause you more confusion, darling, but if you’d like to kiss Rainbow Dash then by all means…”

Both pegasi perk up before my eyes.

“Really?” It’s Rainbow Dash trying to sound excited, but the veneer is thin. She’s worried and confused.
“Of course, darling,” I answer doing my best to sound soothing. I know Rainbow is about at her limit. I know there is much I don’t know how she’s processing all of this; she is capable of a much greater emotional range than she will ever show. For the moment, I hope that she can find just a hint of her usual brashness. Perhaps it’s unfair of me, but I don’t know what else to do.

“Really?” That’s Fluttershy.

I pull her face to mine gently and give her the briefest kiss on the lips. “Yes, darling. Really.”

I release the beautiful yellow mare, and she turns slowly to a very tense Rainbow Dash. She’s trying too hard. “Dash, darling. Perhaps you ought to try and relax just a bit.”

“Oh, sorry.” Rainbow takes a breath and fluffs her wings, and so does Fluttershy.

Fluttershy has been looking forward to this kiss with Rainbow Dash for such a long time. She wants it to mean something. A quick flick of my ear gets Rainbow’s attention. Thank Celestia, we’ve been together long enough for her to start understanding meaningful looks.

Rainbow Dash

I have no idea what Rarity is trying to tell me with that face. Whatever it is, it’s serious.

Duh!

Serious.

Oh!

She’s telling me to be serious.

Well, DUH! Rares! Of course this is serious! This is only one of the biggest moments of my whole life, and it’s all messed up because this isn’t how things were supposed to go down at all. No pony should be feeling scared or pressured, especially Shy. I shouldn’t be freaking out. I should be focused. This is supposed to be awesome and chill. Flutters should feel safe and stuff, but instead it feels like we are trying to put together a sewing machine in the middle of a hurricane.

Now she’s telling me to look at Fluttershy. So, I look at Fluttershy.

Oh…

Shy looks confused, and scared, and nervous.

I got this. Right? I can do this? It’s cool. We’ll talk later. Rares will make sure we talk later and figure this crash of a situation out, right?
Get it together, Dash.

I lean in a give my oldest friend a soft nuzzle on her neck. It startles her at first, but she relaxes after a second. She doesn’t nuzzle me back though.

Time for a check in.

All the same emotions are on Shy’s face. They’ve just gone from level 75000 to level 25000. Not enough. There’s something else too. I know I’ve seen that in her eyes before, but I have no clue what it is or what to do about it. So...quiet time it is.

Thank Celestia!

We’re kind of in a circle now, so I lay my head on Shy’s back and try to keep all the feelings out of my voice. It’s a lot of mushy confused feelings though. “It’s cool, Shy. Take a minute. No pressure.”

I feel the sigh of relief under my head.

Point Rainbow Dash!

I am trying to hold still, but it’s hard when I’m shaking. Rares and I never did figure out a good way to start this conversation. Sure, having Shy hurl herself into the middle of stuff probably doesn’t count as a good way to start talking, but here we are.

Breathe.

Just let her breathe.

She’s taking forever!

I closed my eyes when I put my head down. It takes all kinds of focus not to cry. It didn’t used to be this hard, but Rares makes it so I don’t hide my feelings so much. There’s no point in trying to hide anything from her anyway. But that means that I’m out of practice. Shy needs my brave face, and I can’t find it.

When I open my eyes, Shy is crying, and Rares is too. They have their foreheads resting on each other. Rarity is whispering something to Shy. Something soothing. It makes Shy open her eyes. They stay like that for a minute, then Shy looks at me.

Ok. It’s go time. Move slow RD. Remember that she’s loved you for a long time. You’ve loved her for a long time. This is your first kiss, don’t mess it up.

Fluttershy

Dashie is being deliberate and careful. It’s strange, but comforting. I can still feel Rarity’s breath on my neck. It’s distracting, but nice.

Dashie picks her head up and asks softly, “Can I kiss you now, Shy?”

Do I want Dashie to kiss me? Of course I want Dashie to kiss me. That’s all I’ve wanted for such a long time, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this. But- is this bad? It doesn’t feel bad right now.

“You- you want to kiss me?”

I’m being nuzzled again. It feels nice, but she didn’t answer and she isn’t letting me see her face.That makes me nervous.

Dashie pulls back and looks at Rarity. As far as I can tell the unicorn doesn’t respond, and Dashie looks back at me. Slowly she reaches a hoof forward and moves my mane away from my face.

“I’m really sorry Shy. I really really want to kiss you. It just wasn’t supposed to happen like this. You know?” She caresses my face my more gently than I would have imagined she could. Then she takes a deep breath. I can feel Rarity smiling behind me. “Me and Rares have been talking about you for months. We both really like you.” My mouth falls open, and she chuckles, “Actually, we liked you before we even liked each other.”

Rarity giggles in my ear, and gives the slightest nuzzle. On the surface, I’m blushing. On the inside two things are happening: Half of my brain is in the middle of a victory dance that would make Dashie proud; the other half is quietly screaming so many questions.
“We wanted to ask you out, but then we realized that we kinda already did that. So, we tried to find another way to talk to you about it, cuz we like you.”

Dashie looks like she’s about to explode or cry. I know she’s waiting for me to say something, but I just can’t. After another agonizing moment of my silence, Rarity lets out a sigh that I don’t understand, so I look at her. She’s smiling at Dashie. Of course, Rarity can see how patient Dashie is trying to be, and how hard this all is on her.

“Why don’t you go outside for just a moment and collect yourself Rainbow? It might be a good thing for all of us to take a little break,” Rarity says with a smile.

Rainbow Dash blushes, but also seems relieved. Rarity knows her so well. Then Dashie looks back to me. “Would that be ok, Shy? I know you might need a minute, and I don’t want you to think I’m mad or something. I just- need a minute.”

I feel awful. I know it’s my fault. I’m making everything hard. Having a little break sounds nice, but… “It- it’s raining.” I say concerned.

“That’s ok. I can dry off before I come back in the house.”

I nod. “Ok.”

Dashie smiles, then gives me a quick nuzzle, kisses Rarity, and walks out of the room. Thank goodness, she didn’t just take off out the window. I probably would be back to hiding in the corner. I hear her walk slowly across the living room and open the door. Hearing the strong, quick beating of wings that can only be Rainbow Dash makes me smile.

I relax into Rarity a little more. Ever since that terrible modeling fiasco, Rarity has made such an effort to be a comforting presence for me. Even with what just happened, I can tell that she’s being careful not to say anything that might make me feel pushed one way or another, and I really really appreciate that.

She shifts a little bit, and I hear a crunch.

“Oh my goodness, Rarity; you’re still all muddy.” Before she can say anything I’ve swept her up like a little bunny and taken her to the bathroom. My heart falls when I realize that the bath is probably freezing at this point. I stop hovering and land softly on the floor, then set her on her hooves. “S- sorry. I can-”

“Allow me darling,” she says gently. Her horn lights up and an aura wraps around the tub. The room gets humid, and I can smell the various flowers and oils I added to the water earlier.

“There. Perfect.” She says kissing me on the cheek again. I feel like I should blush, but I don’t. Something about Rarity makes it ok.

She inhales deeply, “It smells divine. Thank you, darling.”

She walks to the tub and carefully lowers herself in. Her lower half is almost completely brown. I’ve never seen her that dirty for anything less than a crisis of all ponykind. What mattered so much today that she was willing to get so messy? Of course, Dashie liked it, but… something about me was a factor too…. Why would Rarity run through a muddy storm just for me?

Suddenly a thousand little moments with this unicorn are flooding my mind with a combination of excitement, comfort, guilt, and enlightenment. How many times has she reminded everypony to be patient with me? How many times has given Dashie a look reminding her to treat me gently? How many times has she come to the cottage and forced me to go to the spa, because I was so busy taking care of all my animal friends that I forgot to take care of myself?

Rarity

My heart simply aches for Fluttershy. She is so confused. While I am truly and simply grateful beyond measure to be in this luxurious bath, I would much rather be talking through the issues at hoof with her. However, I know that pressuring her to talk won’t yield the results I’m hoping for. It’s best to let Fluttershy process things in her own time (she and Rainbow Dash have that in common).

There’s a little shake of a pink mane, and then Fluttershy is crossing over to me. “I- I’d like to wash your mane, if that’s ok?”

I can’t tell if she’s hiding in being kind, or if there’s something more behind the request. Perhaps she doesn’t know either. Regardless, my mane is a mess, and I’m certainly not going to tell her no. “Of course. That sounds wonderful. If you’re sure?”

She just nods.

There’s a little bowl with a spout on a table next to the tub. She’d been planning this, even if it was for just a moment before all the heated chaos started. Taking the bowl in her teeth, she fills it with water and pours it over my head.

Ahhhh…. Bless you, Fluttershy.

Rainbow Dash

I flew above the storm and just did long ridiculous sprints, trying to wear myself out. It worked. I’m exhausted. I didn’t really let myself think too much. I probably should have, but I didn’t want to. I really don’t feel like getting sucked into the vortex of my feelings right now. Tonight is about Flutters. Rarity and I are going to get Shy on board with all the stuff, and we’ll deal with the rest of the crap later.

Fluttershy is washing Rare’s mane. It could be sexy. Thank Celestia, it isn’t. I couldn’t handle it. Shy’s face is all confused. That sucks. Rare’s is all worried and distracted. I have no idea how to help with whatever is going on in there, so I just grab a pillow and lay on the floor watching.

This is going to work, right? Rares will get out of that bath all in control and with a plan. Fluttershy will start saying all the things she’s afraid of, and we’ll tell her that she doesn’t need to be scared, and everything will be ok. Right?

I don’t know. Fluttershy could totally go all freak out mad at us. Maybe she’ll go all sex-crazy again. I don’t like not knowing what to expect from her. I feel like I don’t know how to be what she needs, because I don’t know what she’s going to do. Whatever she wants is totally cool. Just not sex. I really really really want her to wants us, but I’m totally not ready for that. And I really don’t want to deal being the one to say that.

This pillow is squishy..

Fluttershy

Rarity’s mane is done. She should probably shower after this bath is over. There’s a lot of dirt in the water, so she really isn’t getting very clean. I didn’t think she’d actually run here at a full gallop. In the past year, she’s relaxed a bit about becoming incidentally dirty. It’s kind of adorable. Rarity will look completely uncomfortable, until she sees Dashie looking proud or dumbstruck. Then Rarity is all glamorous regardless of the mess.

Ok. Mane, check.

Shoulders? Rarity carries a lot of tension in her shoulders.

“Um, Rarity?”

“Yes, darling?” She says snapping out of her thoughts.

“W- would you like me to rub your shoulders? Dashie said you’ve been stressed, and I had Aloe teach me some basic massage techniques when Harry sprained his shoulder last spring.” She turns to look at me. Please say yes. I’m not ready to talk about anything yet. Please say yes.

She nods. “That sounds lovely, thank you Fluttershy.”

Thank you, Rarity.

I focus on her muscles, willing myself to ignore all the thoughts. If I let myself think all the thoughts, I’m going to lose what little control I’ve regained since Dashie left.

Where is Dashie?

I look through the door to my bedroom. There’s a blue and rainbow pile on the floor. Of course, she’s napping. I didn’t hear her come back. I hope she didn’t wear herself out too much so she could be patient with me.

She’s so cute. I giggle.

I can’t see it, but I can feel Rarity’s eyebrow raise. So, I point. She follows with her eyes and sighs, “That’s our Rainbow Dash. There’s never a problem so large it can’t be napped in the middle of.”

Our Rainbow Dash?

Rarity feels me stiffen and turns.

All the thoughts. All of them. Sexy, panicked, excited, angry, terrified thoughts.

She reaches for me touching my face, and the world goes quiet again. “Why don’t you go take a break for a moment, darling? I’ll rinse off and be right out.”

Go take a break? With Rainbow Dash? I glance at the sleeping pony on my floor.

“She would be thrilled to wake up and have you there, but if you’re uncomfortable perhaps you could go make us some tea?”

Tea? Yes, I can do that. A few minutes alone might be a good idea.

“Ok. I’ll make us some tea.” And probably something to eat, because I’m sure Dashie is hungry from flying.

“Wonderful. Thank you, darling.” Rarity’s stomach growls. “Oh my. Do excuse me, Fluttershy.”

“It’s ok.” I say sweetly. Of course she’s hungry, she ran all the way here, and then….things... happened. “I’ll make some dinner. I haven’t eaten either.” As if on cue, my own stomach gurgles and we both laugh.

I leave the bathroom, careful not to wake Dashie, and get an immediate reminder that my bed has been relocated to the living room. Hopefully Rarity doesn’t mind fixing that when she’s done.

When I get downstairs, Angel raps on the door to his hutch and I let him out. He’s ready to be all grumpy, when he notices my expression. Then, because he really is just a sweetie, he hops over and gives me a little nudge. I pick him up.

“You saw everything, didn’t you?”

He nods.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure that all startled you.”

He shrugs.

“It startled me.”

His ear quirks to the side.

“I don’t know what came over me.”

He rolls his eyes, then makes an obscene gesture that makes me blush.

“Well, yes. That. But… Why?”

He shrugs again and hops away, depositing himself in the center of my bed, which is taking up most of the floor space in the living room.
I go to the kitchen and busy myself with making tea and a salad, and a few sandwiches. The motions are routine and comforting. My thoughts start to wander.

What did Dashie say?

They liked me before they liked each other. How can that be true? I’m nopony special. And if they liked me then why did they get together? Also, why wouldn’t they say anything to me? That’s where the angry thoughts come from.

They wanted to ask me out, but realized that we’d already done that. No we didn’t. We spend time together, and they look at me, but...well...maybe.

Isn’t that exactly the thoughts that were flashing through my mind when I went all sex crazy? I felt entitled. I felt invested. In my whole life, there has only ever been two ponies I could ever imagine being with. Both of them are upstairs. I never thought they’d want me though. I know they think I’m nice to look at, but they both get so frustrated with me sometimes too. I’d hate to drag them down.
Maybe they just wanted a one time thing?

No.

They aren’t like that. I don’t understand it, but I know that they would never treat me like somepony they could throw away. They never have before, even though that is how I feel a lot of the time- like they could just never speak to me again and their lives would be better for it. I know that none of my friends really need me, but they love me anyway.

Plus, if all they wanted was something physical, then didn’t my outburst set that up perfectly? It wasn’t what they wanted, but they didn’t push me away either. Rarity kissed me. She let me hold her. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I really can’t even remember that kiss. I remember wanting more, but that’s all. Why did she give her horn to Dashie and not me!

I stomp my hoof with that thought, and startle myself.

Why in that moment was I so focused on Rarity? Rarity is beautiful, and glamorous, and confident, and nice. She’s been my best friend for such a long time. Of course, I admire Rarity.

I admire all of my friends, but that doesn’t mean that I’d try and mount them given half a chance.

Wouldn’t I?

No. I wouldn’t.

Whew. That’s a relief.

But I did...with Rarity….

Why didn’t I go for Rainbow Dash?

Because I wanted the horn.

Eeep.

The kettle whistles, and I am thankfully pulled out of that internal conversation. They are still here. I want them here. Dashie is trying so hard to be patient. Rarity is worried and trying to give me space, but she’s excited too. I can tell.

I want this. I want them. I always have. That’s all I know for certain.