Forever and Always

Fluttershy

Ok. It’s ok. This is totally fine. Rarity asked me on a date. I said yes. Dashie said it was ok. When I asked again, she said it was still ok. When I sent a bird with a note asking her to drop by the cottage, so I could triple check to make sure it was ok, Dashie left me a message in the sky. There was a small arrangement of clouds. First a butterfly, then “OK”, then another butterfly.

It was something she started doing for me at flight camp. I came back from the ground talking about all the wonderful animals I’d seen, and she would try to make them for me out of clouds. She wasn’t very good, except at the butterflies. Once for my birthday, she filled the sky with butterfly clouds. It made me nervous. Then she made me go for a little flight with her, so I could see that there was only one place where the butterflies were recognizable. That place was my front door.

Suddenly, a rainbow streaks across the sky blasting through the letters of her message, then looping in figure eights around the butterflies making them spin. Watching Dashie fly always makes my heart stop. She’s not the most secure pony I’ve ever met, but when she’s flying there’s nothing that can touch her. Seeing her streak across the sky makes me think that she’s happy, like I am in the mornings when the sun shines and it’s just me and the critters.

Then I hear it.

I love watching her fly, but the take offs and landings make me nervous. That has improved since she and Rarity started dating though. I can’t see her, but I know she’s coming in for a landing. I can hear the beating of wings and a little hum of the Wonderbolts anthem. She’s like any bird, she sings when she’s happy. I brace myself for the impact of her landing, which I’m almost certain will be behind me. But the blunt crashing of hooves on soil never comes. Instead, I’m swept up by a pair of hooves. Like a mother taking a toddling foal for a flight. The difference is that a foal would squeal in delight, and I let out a little shriek of terror.

Dashie just laughs, “Come on, Shy. Come fly with me.”

It’s like a dream. She’s been so stand offish for the past few days, since that night with Rarity. And she’s never just invited me to go flying before, even though I’ve dreamed and dreamed and dreamed of her asking me for such a long time. I nod and she drops me. I fall for a moment. “Open your wings featherbrain!”

Oh. Right.

I adjust my the angle of my wings, so the sudden rush of air won’t break anything. Then pull the primaries out slightly. My wings fill like a parachute, and my fall instantly becomes a glide. Then Dashie flies below me, and beats her wings creating an updraft that pushes me into the sky.

She loops, and turns, and spins. Never expecting me to keep up, but circling back to me every few minutes so our wingtips can brush. I don’t know if she’s showing off, or playing, or practicing, or flirting; which is confusing, but nice.

She soars above me for a few minutes, and a few of my bird friends come to hover around me telling me stories from their days and complaining that I don’t fly with them enough. There’s another brush of feathers and Dashie is next to me. She joined the little flock around me without disturbing any of my friends. In fact, the falcon and eagle that so wanted to be her pet have joined the group too. We stay like that for a little while before she gives the falcon a wink. They gently ride a thermal above me, then Dashie says “Go!” and they’re racing.

I take a little break on a cloud and wait for Dashie to loop back. I see her coming in below me. She doesn’t see me.

Should I?

No.

But, I’m supposed to be letting her get to know the other parts of myself.

Ok. I’ll do it.

It takes a moment, but I use my wings to compress the cloud. I have just enough time to make this work. I give the cloud a giant squeeze and it disappears- a bucket’s worth of water landing right on Dashie’s head.

“Hey!” she shouts angrily, “What’s the big id- Fluttershy?”

I’m tucked back into my mane trying to hide the giggles, but then I realize she needs to see them. So, I poke my head out and stick my tongue out at her.

“Oh. It. Is. On!”

Before I can think that she’s been spending too much time with Rarity, she’s climbing the sky right for me. What little flight training I remember kicks in and I dive away from her. She’s agile, but going too fast, so she simply shoots by a few meters away from me. She flips from climb to dive effortlessly. I could keep diving myself, but I’ll never beat her to the ground. So, I take off for a large clump of clouds. Whatever payback she has in mind, she’s going to have to find me first. I haven’t pushed my wings like this in a very long time, and it feels good. I surprise even myself when I put on a little burst of speed as I enter the cloud-pack.

“Fluuuuuttershyyyy,” Dashie says with gentle menace in her voice. “Oh Fluuuuuttershy!”

I can hear the clouds bursting around me. This is what I get for playing high altitude hide and seek with a weather pony, she’ll have me found in less than a minute. The little puffing sounds of bursting clouds stop, and the world is silent.

Silence is bad.

Silence means danger.

Dashie wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

What if something happened to Dashie?

I’m about to either drop to the ground in fright or go looking for her when a pair of blue wings wrap around me from behind. “Got ya,” she whispers quietly in my ear. I squeak, then relax. I’m just happy she’s ok.

Am I really laying in a cloud with Rainbow Dash? Yes. I am.

Did I really prank her and get away with it? Yes. I did.

Yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!

She nuzzles into my neck. Oh, that’s nice.

Too nice. We’re supposed to be taking things slow. Impromptu play date in the sky? Perfectly acceptable. Impromptu kissing sexy time in the sky? Probably not yet. My wings aren’t being subtle about their disagreement though.

Dashie giggles behind me. Her lips brush my ear as she speaks, “Who knew you were so easy, Shy?”

I blush. “You have no idea.”

I can hear her eyebrow arching. “Tell me,” she says.

It’s seductive, and she’s doing it on purpose. It makes me nervous. “I- I thought you wanted to slow things down?”

She sighs.

“I mean, I-”

“It’s ok Shy,” she cuts me off before I can bumble my through an apology. She doesn’t sound disappointed, and she nuzzles me as she talks. “You’re right, I did ask to slow things down. I still wanna know what you meant.”

“O- ok,” I take a breath. She wants to talk. I can do that. At least I think I can, but “You can’t talk all sexy in my ear like that if you want to have a conversation,” I tell her.

She laughs and kisses my cheek. “Fair enough. Can you handle being held, or do you need space?”

“I think I can handle it. I think I’d like to say this to your face though.” She opens her legs and wings, and I turn so we’re muzzle to muzzle and she wraps her wings around me again. I kiss her cheek before I can stop myself. “Thank you, Dashie.”

“No prob, Flutters.”

There’s a pause that’s only a little awkward. I’m nervous. I don’t know how to explain this to her. I’m not sure I really understand what she wants to know. I suppose that’s as good a place to start as any. “What exactly do you want to talk about Dashie?”

“I….” She pauses and thinks. While she’s thinking I focus on being close to her. When the conversation gets to that point, I’m going to have to ask why she’s suddenly ok with cuddling in a cloud. I thought we might not get to this place for a few weeks, if at all.

“I want to understand why I suddenly feel like I don’t know you at all, Shy. That’s what I want to talk about.”

Oh. So, right to hard stuff then. I’m cowering without meaning to. What if she can’t handle what I have to say. What if she thinks that I’m some sort of deviant? What if she only liked sweet, shy, helpless Fluttershy and finding out that I’m not always like that means that she can’t like me anymore?

No. I know Dashie isn’t like that. I just have to be brave and talk to her. I have to remember that she’s the embodiment of the element of loyalty. She won’t abandon me. I just need to talk to her.

She’s being so patient just holding me while I work through my inner turmoil. I never expected her to be patient. Somehow I always imagined that she’d be rushing me, and I’d be struggling to keep up. She’d be constantly pushing me to be better. I suppose that part is true, but it feels very different than I expected.

Big breath. Here I go.

“I suppose it’s because I thought nopony would want to know all of me. In Cloudsdale I was terrified and helpless. I never had fun, not until you and I started spending time together. That day I found the ground, I also found all these new parts of myself that were confident and happy. I thought that I would never get to feel like that. But I assumed nopony in Cloudsdale wanted to know about that. Most pegasi there can be a bit condescending about ground ponies, and I never heard anypony say anything nice about a pegasus choosing to live on the ground.”

“We weren’t really friends before that day. You were so tough, and it made you happy. You were this pocket of sunshine in a place that didn’t want me. You were so confident. I loved listening to you talk about anything. It took me a long time to feel confident enough about my special talent to talk about what I wanted to do with it, but that confidence came from you: Watching you and listening to talk about becoming a Wonderbolt; seeing you practice everyday; seeing you be brave enough to make mistakes; hearing you talk about how you’d never be good enough if you weren’t willing to fail or make a fool of yourself a few times. Your attitude was my light at the end of the tunnel. We had this dynamic where you did most of the talking, and I liked it, so I didn’t change it even though I was changing.”

I can tell Dashie wants to say something, but she knows that if she interrupts me I’ll lose my confidence and stop talking. I’m so glad she knows me so well.

“I really am shy and uncertain, Dashie. The day I got my cutie mark was the first day I felt confident about anything. It was a long time before I felt the feeling again. I always felt safe with you though, and that was nice. You didn’t make me feel bad for being a scaredy pony. Or if you did it was on accident and you really apologized. You just always wanted me to be better. You were confident for me. I think I hid inside that feeling. Even though I eventually started having confidence of my own, letting you protect me and push me to be better was familiar and safe.”

“I think we probably would have just kept going like that if we hadn’t moved to Ponyville and become Element bearers. But being with my animals everyday, facing dragons and sweet little manticores, even modeling (although I really did hate that) all built my confidence in a way. Eventually I started to realize why I liked our dynamic so much. It kept you close. It kept you invested in me. I worried that if you thought I didn’t need you then you’d leave me, but I was in love with you and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I think I started falling for you the day of the pegasus race. You were just so cute. I remember when your wings started growing. They looked too big for you at first, but they were beautiful. Then you started growing into them, and the cuteness from when we were little became something so different. You were sexy and beautiful. You went from this scrappy little hero to an amazing, confident, sexy athlete and I watched every change happen. I watched your body change, and felt myself responding to what I saw. I wanted you. I didn’t just want to be your friend, but I knew I wasn’t good enough for you. Still, I’d let myself fall when I was flying sometimes, because you’d come help me and if felt so wonderful to be close to you. You mentioned once after I got my mane trimmed that you liked my mane better when it was longer, so I grew it out.

“I-I just...I always wanted you, Rainbow Dash. You were gorgeous and I wanted you. The more confident I became the more I wanted to show you. I wanted to show you that I could be your equal. I could keep up. But I didn’t want to lose you. I kept my fantasies to myself. I practiced keeping my wings under control, which was never easy. That way you wouldn’t have to know and things wouldn’t get strange between us. The more I tried to keep the feelings to myself, the more there were.”

“Then I met Rarity. She terrified me, but in a familiar way. My wings would spring up and my thoughts would drift. I almost couldn’t help myself around her. I told myself that I could do the same thing I’d done with you. I could just keep the feelings to myself. Then you two started dating, and I felt like I was betraying both of you by feeling the way I did. I loved being with you both, and you sought me out, but I didn’t want to feel guilty all the time. So, I just-” This is the hard part. “I tried to shut myself down, Dashie. When the naughty thoughts came, I willed them away. When my eyes drifted over one of you in a way I knew they shouldn’t, then I would close my eyes and try to think about something else.”

“When I saw the two of you together the other night, the dam I’d built up must of broke. I couldn’t stop myself. I think I focused on Rarity, because it felt safer. She never really hid how she thought of me.” I take a breath, my mind is suddenly empty except for one thought. I made it through my whole little speech but now I’ve distracted myself. “Plus, I just really like her horn,” I say my tone more gravelly than I intended.

Dashie has been holding me and listening and playing with my mane. It was perfectly sweet and innocent. My wings had settled down, but now I’m thinking about Rarity’s horn, and they aren’t settled anymore. Of course Dashie notices. She lets me go, and there’s a rush of relief as my wings unfurl stiffly from my sides.

What happens now?

We aren’t done talking, but I’m not sure I can get my focus back. Saying everything I have been holding inside for so long was such a relief, but now there’s this new pressure and I don’t know what to do with it.

My eyes are closed. Dashie lays me back on the cloud.

Oh. I’ve done something wrong. The tears well up in my eyes immediately.

“It’s ok Shy. I’m just gonna help so we can talk.” There’s a smirk in her voice.

She’s going to what?

She kisses my cheek. Then she’s gone. I feel her settle in on the cloud next to me.

What is she going to do?

Oh.

Ooooohhhhh. I understand now.

“Are you sure?” I ask trying to sound like it would really be ok if she didn’t. I mean, Dashie has preened my wings before, but this feels different.

“Yeah, Shy. I’m sure,” she’s using a tone I’ve never heard before. It’s soothing and sexy, but I’m still nervous. She starts pulling primaries back into place. It feels amazing, but I’m still tense everywhere. I don’t know how I feel about this.

“Relax Flutters,” Dashie’s voice is right in my ear. When did she get so close? I’m mid panic attack, mid sexy sexy fantasy, mid freak out. I can’t focus.

“You- you said…”

“I know. I’m not ready for some stuff, but I’m ready for this. Ok?”

“Are you sure?”

She strokes my cheek with a wingtip and I gasp. This like a dream I’ve had so many times. “I’m going to wake up now, right?” She giggles and tugs on my ear, just enough to make it hurt in a good way. I yelp and my wings get even more rigid, if that’s even possible.

“Nope. You’re already awake, Shy. Just distracted.”

There’s a firm tug on my wing.

Yes.

Then a gentle breath blowing at a pin feather before it’s tugged away.

Yes. Please.

Another tug.

“Harder please.”

Did I say that out loud.

TUG.

“Yes!”

Rainbow Dash

Flutters is in recovery. I thought I was the only pony that could cum that fast from so little attention, but she may have me beat. That was fun. The vibe was still off, but it was ok.

We’ll get better at it.

Rares made me think about that. I thought me and Shy would just work. Like Rarity and I just worked. No questions. No weirdness. But that wasn’t going to happen. Listening to Shy talk about stuff made me realize that we had both done it. I hid stuff from her, because I thought she needed me to be strong and awesome all the time. She hid stuff from me because she thought I wanted her to be weak.

Today has been awesome though. I can’t believe she dumped a cloud on me.

“Dashie?”

“Yeah, Shy?”

“That feels nice, but I need you to stop.”

I wasn’t even doing anything, just dragging my hoof up and down her back. I love it when Rarity does that for me. I guess Shy’s more sensitive than I am.

Duh!

“What?” Shy asks, calling me out for my chuckle.

“I just realized that you’re kind of a sensitive pony.” I try to say the words with a straight face, but when she sits up and looks at me with an arched eyebrow….who knew Fluttershy’s eyebrows could arch.

“R- really?” Only Flutters can sound shy and sarcastic at the same time.

“Ha ha, yeah.”

Then we laugh. I haven’t laughed with Flutters like that in...ever.

Iddddeeeeaaaa! (yeah, yeah, Rares and I are adorable).

I run a feather up Fluttershy’s side and she squeals. Full volume, Rarity style, squeal.

Oh no. She wants payback.

I’m outta here.

***

After another half hour of playing in the clouds, which is awesome- I haven’t played like that in forever- we land in the meadow outside Shy’s cottage. We’re both laughing and trying to catch our breath.

“We….we nev...never fin…”

“It’s…..cool….We...can...talk...later.”

“Don’t postpone anything on my account.”

When did Rarity get here?

I check the sky.

Horsefeathers. Shy’s late for her date with Rarity. I didn’t think we were up there that long.

I look at Shy, and she looks like she’s about to cry.

“It’s totally my fault-”

Rare’s waves a hoof. “I’ll not be accepting apologies today darling. I’ve been enjoying a little airshow, and would rather not have the mood ruined with unnecessary guilt.”

“Un-unnecess- but I’m late for our first date?” Flutters is trying to be brave, but she’s crying. Letting somepony down gets to her, she’s still the Shy I’ve always thought I knew.

“Not at all, darling. On my way over I stopped by the restaurant and moved our reservation back. Perhaps I should send a note making it a reservation for three, what do you think?”

Shy is freaking out. Her mouth is moving, but no sounds are coming out. I walk over to her and close her mouth. Then look at Rares. “Thanks for the invite, but I think she’s been looking forward to having you all to herself for a long time. It’s cool.”

I love it when Rares smiles at me like that. Like I just totally did the right thing.

A quick flap puts me in the air. I pick up Fluttershy. “I’m gonna help her get ready though,” I say with a wink and take off. Fluttershy squealing as I put on a sudden burst of speed. Rarity is yelling from her place in the grass, “It isn’t nice to keep a lady waiting while you flummox her date!” She’s totally laughing behind the indignation though.

When did I start saying words like indignation?