Panda Skies The Mechanical Mechanicist... or an Engineer for short.

by PandaVoltz

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Spike, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro
Length: 14362

Mechanical Thing-a-ma-giggers are always fun, unfortunately for me, mine are mostly illegal.

Mechanical Thing-a-ma-giggers are always fun, unfortunately for me, mine are mostly illegal. See I'm an Engineer, or a Mechanical Mechanicist, which is much more fun to say. Things where going so well, until when the adoptive sister of Princess Twilight, and the unofficial daughter of Princess Celestia, showed up at my house. Her name? *Sigh* Her name was Barb. And the worst part about this entire thing, was that she was hot.

Published 2016-12-13 12:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-24 17:51:30 UTC

Dont...Dont Cross The Wires

I gently grab the red cable, of which is attached to the main power cell, and connect it to the corresponding red node. The problem being is that I have to simultaneously purge the excess energy from the cable itself or the entire thing could explode, possibly causing the area around me to essentially cease to exist. Did I mention that the power cell is nuclear? And that the cell has the explosive equivalent of 72 tones of Equestrian grade military TNT? Or the fact that Uranium is highly illegal, and so illegal that if one is caught with it they are to be sentenced to life in a maximum security prison, all due to how destructive the material is? No? Well now you know.

You might be wondering who I am, what am I doing, and why. Those questions are easy to answer, my name is Panda Skies, and no I'm not a pegasus, nor am I a unicorn. I am an earth pony, the name is ironic i know, and unfortunately for me I never knew my parents because if I did I would've asked them why they would name an earth pony with a pegasus name. Although I'm pretty sure it's because I was a bastard child, and/or because they wanted a pegasus. Which one is true, the world may never know. As for what I'm doing, at least that would include using very hazardous and illegal materials, I am building/modifying a mining drill engine to run on nuclear energy for a private contractor in the Minotaur provenances. As for why? The pay was just too good to pass up, the contractor offered twenty six million bits, and to top it all off he paid half up front. So here I am finally finished with what amounted to three months of hard work, without being disintegrated, exploded, electrocuted, and or irradiated. At least I think I'm not irradiated, I hope not. That would be bad for my health. Not to mention my brand new house, what would the townsfolk think if suddenly that hill way outside of town just vanished in a blinding explosion?

Though just as I was about to get up to grab a drink, I hear the tell-tale sound of the door bell to my house. Of course, just as I was about to relax. And who could it be anyway? I don't know anyone in this town, I didn't even go into the town other than when I had to buy the house. I didn't even go down to buy groceries because I stockpiled about a years worth of military rations, that are actually pretty good in my opinion. So instead of getting a well deserved drink, I walk over to the elevator and press the ground floor button. In case you were wondering, I was in my workshop that is situated five hundred feet below ground. You didn't think I was working with such hazardous materials in my basement do you? Once I reach the ground floor I hastily walk towards my front door that is positioned in my living room. The house itself was on the smaller side, just the way i liked it, it keeps the heating bills to a minimum, not that I really need to worry now that I'm well off.

You could probably imagine my face when I see who is standing there on my front porch; Princess Twilight, Princess Celestia, a multitude of guards, gleaming in their golden armor, and Barb. The unofficial daughter of Celestia and the adoptive sister to Twilight, and to make matters worse for me, other than the fact that I am currently in possession of an extremely illegal substance, Barb was gorgeous. And I am horrible around women, not saying that the two royal figures aren't beautiful, it's just that something about female dragons that makes me all nervous. This is going to be fun. So I kindly invite them in before they had the opportunity to ask, and when they do walk inside, the guards take positions next to the door way. By the time I close the door and turn to my guests, I find them all seated around my coffee table with my recliner being the only seat open. Princess Celestia gestures for me to sit down, so I oblige and take a seat. After about five minutes pass Princess Celestia breaks the silence.

"Panda Skies, do you know why we are here?" She asks in a calm, authoritative tone. I shake my head, "I'm afraid I don't know why, though can I ask why royalty is paying me a visit?" I ask politely, on the outside I (hopefully) look calm, collected, and somewhat questioning, but on the inside I'm freaking out in almost all ways possible. And I swear my answer caused a frown to appear on Celestia's face for a fraction of a second, but it could have been my eyes playing tricks on me. "That is an appropriate question to ask in this instance Mr. Skies, and I think the answer you will find will not be of your liking. The reason for our visit is because a rumor, a very specific one with your name in it, has come to our attention. The rumor being that you are in possession of an highly illegal substance known as uranium, and that you have the knowledge to fabricate a weapon out of it to sell to the highest bidder. Now you can see why we acted solely on a rumor, because if it is true that means you are a threat to our national security, and the safety of those around you. Now, would you kindly explain if these rumors are true? And please, do tell the whole truth, I can tell a half-truth from a full one." When Celestia finished her face had kept the calm demeanor, but her words had an edge to them.

Now I don't know what to do, should I say the truth and take the punishment, try to lie my way out and hope for the best, or try to run for it even though I know I'll be caught eventually? I look down at my hands and sigh, I was just starting to do well, and this was going to be my last contract before I retired. So the question still rattles within my mind, what do I do?

Author's Note

YAY! My second ever story, though I have no idea if I'll continue. I'm not that good of a writer, and this was just a spur of the moment idea. So...Ya. Though I might continue it if this gets some support, and if people like it or not. If people do then i might continue it, and if I don't, and someone else want to, that's fine with me if you just send me a link to the continuation. Constructive criticism is highly encouraged, and I hope you peoples have a wonderful wonderful day.

Well...This Is A Predicament

As I sit here, freaking out internally, on my very comfy recliner, the wonderful question of 'what am I going to do?' still is at the forefront of my thoughts. Did I also mention that three of some of the most prominent political and royal figures are sitting on my couch? No? Well how about the royal guards that seemed to have surrounded my house, because I can see them through the living room windows? Still a no? Well now you know, and the fact that the three figures: Princess Celsetia, Princess Twilight, and the cute dragoness daughter of Celestia/sister of Twilight, Barb, are currently awaiting an answer from me. The question, you ask, is whether or not I am in possession of a nuclear weapon, which I am not! I only have the equipment, knowledge, and materials to assemble one. Not that I would of course, the only problem, or problems really, are that they don't know that I have only made an engine, not a weapon. The other problems being that I have no idea of what to do, the nuclear engine is directly below their feet, and I have, in my mind, what amounts to an army surrounding my house to prevent me from escaping. Its at times like this where I wish I had wings or magic so that I could have at least a chance at getting away, not that I could have though, given that both princesses have magic that, allegedly, is as strong as an entire army. I'm really not liking my odds here. I look over to a nearby clock and... have I been just sitting here ranting in my head for the past ten minutes? I quickly look up and see all three pairs of eyes on me with small frowns starting to appear on their faces. "Mr. Skies, what is your answer? If you continue to be silent I will be forced to allow the guards to search your house, with or without your permission, and to take you into custody for further questioning." The Princesses face had a look of what looked like pity, but her words had a bite to them, and I know that she wasn't bluffing. So I answer with a question of my own, just to help buy me time to think of a plan, even though my mind is about shot right now. I really hope it's because of today's events and not that I have some form of radiation poisoning.

"Before I answer can you tell me how you came about this rumor, or at least who told you? I'm not confirming nor am I denying it, I just want to know." And way to go me, if they weren't suspicious at first, now they definitely are. But at least, I hope, this will buy me time. Though I am legitimately curios on who tipped them off, because there are a lot of people, not just ponies, who would sell me out. Either because they didn't get exactly what they wanted, the end product cost more than originally agreed upon due to unforeseen complications, or just because they wanted the product but didn't want anyone else getting a hold of my services so that they can have the best technology and monopolize on it. This time though, instead of Celestia, Twilight was the one who answered me. "We cannot disclose who sent us the information, not that we could have anyway, the letter was sent via an extremely common messenger spell that had been modified slightly to send to a location rather than a specific pony. Though we can show you the letter if you would like." Well this is just fantastic, not only do I not know who ratted on me, but there is also the fact that it would be almost impossible to track the messenger. But I nod my head and a small piece of parchment appears on my coffee table. I gently grab the, in my opinion, offending paper and begin to read:

To whomever it may concern, I will make this as brief as possible, I have information on an individual who may be in possession of a(n) nuclear weapon, or may currently be in the making. His name, from what I know, is Panda Skies, though that could just be an alias. A tall (about six foot) black and white earth pony whom was last known to have lived far outside of the town of Ponyville to the east. I do not know for certain if this is true, but I urge you greatly to look into this. The only other piece of evidence is that he was last seen in the Minotaur Provence's with the leader of the mining company IronWork Incorporated, Haulk Mauldime, who just so happens to be the nations most successful international mining business, and who also just so happens to be the biggest investor to his nations military research and development organisation known as E.M.T.D or the Experimental Military Technology Department. So please, even if it's just a small search, just please look into it.

Well...this is a predicament, not only does this person know who I am, they also know where I live, who I had made a deal with, which means they had to have been present during the negotiations, and in hind sight I probably should have asked extensive questions as to where this nuclear engine would be used seeing that Haulk is also heavily involved in the military. But Barb decided to break me out of my thoughts, and by the way she looks, she's irritated. "Okay, are you just going to sit there and make yourself look worse than you already are? Just tell us the truth! Unless you think you could fight off two Princesses, a dragoness, and five squads of royal guards who have been specifically trained for years on how to take ponies down." Yep, she is annoyed, though I have to admit the way her cheeks puffed out slightly made her look adorable. The thing that ruined the adorableness was the fact that she's an irritated dragoness, an irritated dragoness with very sharp looking claws that looked more like mini knifes, and I would gladly rather not be on the receiving end of them. So I swallow my pride and ask the only question that comes to mind, the one that might be able to save my ass, in more ways than one.

"What if I told you that it isn't a weapon, but an engine?"

Author's Note

Second Chapter YAY! This one was fun to write, mostly because it's fun to write. Though I have to give thanks to MI34pilot for commenting, the first comment on the entire story, for giving me an idea of what to do with the 'engine'. And also I will be trying to update at least once a week, school and life gets to be a handful sometimes, so I hope that's okay, I'm not that fast of a writer. Sorry...

So, thank you for reading, point out any errors (if there are any), comment to your hearts content (Seriously, I absolutely LOVE comments, there always so much fun to read!) , and have a wonderful Wonderful day!

Well This Is New...

The princesses, and dragoness, looked at me with varying expressions, though all had an air of confusion about them. Princess Twilight looked more intrigued than confused, Princess Celestia was looking at me with mild curiosity, at least I hope its curiosity and not weariness, and then there’s Barb. She is looking at me like I just went insane. I mean, technically I’m not insane, but I do feel like it sometimes due to the ever increasing amount of internal monologs that I’ve been doing lately. Like right now for instance, and it looks like Barb is about to give me an earful, given that her cheeks just puffed out adorably again. “Are you serious? Are you really trying to bribe your way out of this, because if you are it’s not going to work! Nothing you say or do right now is going to let you get away with this, because at the end of the day you undermined the laws that were put in place to keep everypony safe! Not to mention that what you were doing is not only extremely dangerous to you, but if you made one mistake you could have been the cause of so many innocents’ deaths! My friends’ lives could have been ended by one mistake on your part! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED EVERYPONY I CARE ABOUT!” Barb shouted.

When Barb stops her rant she’s holding me up by the collar of my shirt with one claw and the other was currently not even a centimeter away from cutting my throat. The only thing that stops me from having to change my pants, even though they’re brown, was the fact that she was crying. Just seeing her, or anyone, cry was enough to make me do something that could either end well, in a sense, or very bad. She drops me when she notices how close she was to ending me, and that’s when I make my (hopefully good) move. I reach out with both arms and give her the most sincere hug I can manage, all while I say I’m sorry over and over, even though I know that no matter what I do could help console her like a friend of hers would. That thought alone sent another jolt of guilt through me, and the worst part about this is that when I came to this town to start the project, it was under the pretense of it having one of the lowest populations and only one large business. To me the people of the town where just another number, and I knew that it was wrong, and through the whole project I never once thought of how, if the engine was to go super critical, it would affect the families and friends of those who would perish.

When I finish my internal struggle/rant/tirade, Barb and I are both crying into each other’s shoulders, slumped into a kneeling position, with the two Princesses staring at the both of us in shock and confusion. I would be too if I was in their position. Seeing your sister/daughter verbally scold a wanted criminal, almost kill that criminal in the process, then break down and cry onto his shoulder only to have the criminal start to cry as well. Add all that up together and you get a mass of sobbing, confusion, and a one sided feeling of relief to be alive.

Though that feeling was very short lived for me because one moment she was there, in the next I’m being forced off the ground and away from her, only to meet the eyes of what amounted to a literal god. “Mr. Skies, as I loath to admit it, as much as I appreciate you trying to console my daughter, I wouldn’t recommend doing it again unless you’d like to become something to be swept under the rug. And might I remind you that it was your actions that caused her this pain, so in my eyes you have done much more than simply gone against the law. Though unfortunately I must admit that it takes courage, and much of it, to attempt to console an emotionally fragile dragoness.” She puts me down gently, which is really surprising, and turns to Princess Twilight with what looks like a knowing look, I really don’t know because not a word were spoken and Princess Twilight gently ushered the much better looking , albeit still distraught, Barb outside. Though just before she makes it off the front porch, which is still covered in guards by the way, she stops and turns around to look directly at me. We just stare at each other for a few seconds before she mouths ‘thank you’ and hurriedly makes her way down the rest of the steps and out of sight with a, evidently, confused Princess Twilight at her heels.

I stand there for a while, looking at the spot Barb had previously occupied, and wonder about what just happened, and in my head is a very simplistic representation of it, an over view if you will. So I get scolded by a cute deadly dragoness who shortly after breaks down on my shoulder when I give her a hug, only for me to break down and cry like a baby too in front two of the most powerful beings in existence. After that’s all said and done I’m not so subtly threatened to be turned to ash, given a very small amount of thankfulness by said Princess, who is also Barbs mother, who wanted me dead. Only for Barb to say thank you to me? Is it just me or is my life becoming more and more insane by the minute, and should I be worried about these internal recaps I keep having, because it’s been…okay, I’ve been looking at nothing for the past six minutes while in the same room as the Princess, the one who I think doesn’t hold even a grain of respect for me ( I don’t count the whole courage thing. I don’t think she really meant it) alone. She stares directly into my eyes, hers hard and ready to serve justice, and mine only getting wider as I come to a realization. “So, Mr. Skies, we have much to discuss.” I am utterly screwed.

Author's Note

Third chapter thingy, YAY!

...I'm really bad at these, so have a wonderful Wonderful Day!

Criminal...This Is Weird

I am utterly screwed in every way seemingly possible, no matter what I do right now can let the end result be anything other than me being sentenced to life in prison, and not even one of the normal semi-comfy ones. No, the one I’m most likely going to be put into is a maximum security, meaning that I won’t be able to see the light of day. Not to mention that I don’t even get to have a once a month phone call. Though, apparently, Celestia had enough of me being quiet (due to my ever increasing amount of internal monologues) because I’m snapped out of my thoughts when she magically picks me up and puts me on the couch opposite of her. I’m pretty sure that she’s just about had enough of me and wants some answers, if the irritation and, resentment maybe, in her eyes are anything to go by. So I mentally prepare my answers to the almost guaranteed slew of questions I was about to be asked.

“Now, Mr. Skies, I’m going to ask a few questions and you are going to answer them truthfully. Know that honesty will allow this to be much easier than if you try to lie your way out of this, not that you could in the first place. Do you understand?” Celestias tone was of hard set determination to get answers, so I do the only thing I really can at this point, I not in understanding. “Good, at least you can follow simple rules, unlike the multiple laws you have broken. Now, where did you acquire the materials necessary to construct this ‘engine’? And please do try not to miss, or hide, any details.”

At least it was a straight forward question, though I wish she didn’t have that insult in there. “Well, that’s actually a great question. I don’t actually know where the materials came from, you see, after I accepted the business proposition the materials where already stashed within my house with a thank you card. I don’t know how they got it there before I got home, and honestly it kind of freaked me out.” I left out the little detail of the thank you card also being a bank note for the first half of my payment. Though Celestia seemed to pick up on this due to the fact that she has one eyebrow raised with a knowing look. “And the thank you card was the first few million of my payment.” The way I say that was so meek that she probably had trouble hearing me, even though we were only a few feet away from each other.

She’s looking at me still with those knowing eye, though with a smile now. This is very weird and uncomfortable to me, why is she smiling? She shouldn’t be smiling! “Ah, greed is the root of all evil, though I highly doubt you are evil. Evidently, that dose give a partial answer to my next question of why go through with this project but I know that’s not all there was for your reasons. Would you kindly explain to me why, other than the monetary gains, you accepted this quote en quote business proposition?” She still has that smile, and I swear it almost looks smug at this point. That in and of itself is unsettling, at least to me and a touch embarrassing, plus I’m pretty sure my face is just a tad bit redder than usual.

“Heh, your right about that, and honestly it was more because I never really found a challenge in my work when I was employed with legal manufacturers. Anything that they had me build was just too easy in a sense, so I turned to more shady operations for the challenge. That doesn’t mean I had no morals with what I accepted, I have never and will never create a weapon.” I was serious about that last part too, making a weapon was just one of the things I could never bring myself to do. That and give up the names of my previous employers, there’s a special place in Tartarus for those willing to give up another just to save themselves. Not that I could in the first place since I always say not to give any type of name or alias when I go to a meeting, just helps in the long run so I don’t have a slip of the tongue and accidentally give a name.

My main concern right now is the fact that Celestia is still smiling at me! Though it doesn't look smug anymore, if it was in the first place, but now it looks more…something. There is something there that I can’t place, for better or worse I have no idea. “Interesting Mr. Skies, it has been a long while since I have had to see a criminal personally, let alone a criminal like you. One that is willing to break the law for a challenge, but will not cross your own moral bounds, even if it presents a grander challenge. It has also been a long time since just hearing the reasoning behind a criminal’s motive that I already have an idea of what to do with you.”

The way that sounds to me is that I’m even more screwed than I previously was, dose that mean I’m going to be banished to a distant star? Is that even possible? I have no idea, so I’m going to cling to the hope that this will all end without me being incinerated, stabbed, or banished. “Now I only have one more major question to ask you Mr. Skies, though how you answer will determine the amount of secondary questions that will need to be answered. Do you understand?” I’m pretty sure I know exactly what she is going to ask, and to be honest, if it’s what I’m thinking it is, this is going to be difficult to answer. So I nod. “Thank you, now where is this ‘engine’ that you have built, and can you lead my guards and I to it?” I knew it!

Author's Note

Bit of back story this time! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and Comment to your hearts content down below!

And have a wonderful Wonderful day!

Huh...Bye Bye Brain

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I called that question before she even said it, though I did see the question coming due to it being the only critical one left unasked. Though how am I going to fit Celestia, some guards, and me into a single elevator? I mean seriously, the thing can only hold maybe three people at most, not to mention that I really don’t feel like having the elevator cable snap due to our weight. And I’m not saying that the guards and the princess are fat! Just that I would rather not take the risk. I’m ranting in my still aren’t I? I look up and see Celestia with an expectant look, so I nod my head quickly. “Yes, sure, um… i-it’s this way, but, just to make sure, are, uh, you okay with riding in an elevator?”

Why am I stuttering now of all times? I guess the anxiety of the situation is finally catching up to me; my only question is why it took so long. “An elevator you say? I am perfectly fine with riding in one but why do you have one, other than presumably transporting us to the ‘engine’. Would you care to explain?” Well at least she’s not claustrophobic, that’s a plus. “The reason for the elevator is, yes, to take me down to my workshop. The other reason is because I didn’t want to be forced to walk up and down five hundred feet of stairs.” Celestia nods her head, presumably in agreement, but just as she looks like shes about to speak again Twilight teleports right in front of Celestia and I, accompanied with a bright purple light and a popping sound. In an instant I went from standing to air borne, and then staring up at my ceiling. And I did not scream! It was a masculine yelp, there’s a difference.

I pick myself up quickly and see Celestia with a smile on her face, and Twilight was holding a hand over her mouth suppressing some laughter. It was not that funny! Stupid magic, and it’s teleporting nonsense. “Okay, first I’m going to deny that any of what just happened, happened, and secondly let’s get going to the work shop. The elevator is this way.” I quickly walk past the two, still amused, princesses to the elevator door/doors. The actual elevator doors are hidden behind a seemingly normal bedroom door, so I open the first door and hit the ‘call’ button to open the elevator and motion for the princesses, who were still smiling (!), into the elevator. Once they piled in, I walk into the very small space left and hit the down button.

Thank the heavens for some peace and, somewhat awkward, silence. “How far down dose this elevator go Panda?” Or not, of course Twilight had to ask a question. I look at the dial above the doors, we’re only half way there. “It goes down five hundred feet.” I answer it nice, clean, and simple so that I didn’t have to talk more than I wanted to, and just as a deterrent for more conversation I switched on the radio that plays from my personal collection of music because when I’m in an elevator I want some good music dang nab bit! So before Twilight, or Celestia, could ask another question a soft melody started to play. Oh, it’s one of my personal songs. Great.

I would love to get to know you, so you could know me.
A candle lit dinner, made for two,
One for a hopeless romantic, the other for you.

I forgot that I even made this song, though by made I only wrote it, I paid another composer to sing it since he had a deep old school voice, kind of like the singer in the Moonlight Cocktail. I look over to the Princesses to see their reactions, and color me surprised; they both seem to be swaying slightly to the music. Heh, royalty like my music.

A glass of wine, and a flower bouquet,
A round of dancing, to the fifties music I play,
A night on the town, we can go to the park,
Lie under the night sky, and watch the stars.

Again I look over to the Princesses and see Celestia still swaying slightly to the music with a small smile on her lips. As if remembering a cherished memory and Twilight is in what I would almost call a daze, or even a hopeful, boarding on a wanting, look.

I would love to get to know you, so you could know me,
A hopeless romantic, on a love sick spree,
Will you go on this loving date with me,
And make me happy for the rest of my life?

With that last sentence, the song finally came to a close, and right on time too, the elevator just stopped and opened its doors. I walked out of the elevator, thankful not to be in that cramped space any longer. I walk ahead, somewhat expecting the two princesses to be right behind me, but hear a distinct lack of footsteps behind me. So I turn around to see what’s holding them up, it’s not like they had to take off their shoes or anything, and surprisingly neither of them have moved. I don’t think they even know that the music and elevator stopped because they both still have those weird looks on their faces. So I fake a loud cough, and both princesses snap out of their dazes.

Both princesses mutter something but quickly step out of the elevator and into my workshop, and even though both looked like they wanted to ask me something, those questions died when they saw the workshop in all its technological glory. Though the thing that captured their attention the most is the massive amalgamation of wires, pipes, and metal that was the quote en quote engine. “Mr. Skies, I’m going to presume that this contraption is the engine?” Well at least Celestia is strait to the point, so I nod. “Yes, this – this technological wonder that I have created is the engine. I’m going to assume you’d both like to know how this operates.” They both nod, though Celestia looks more intrigued, while Twilight look like she’s in complete awe.

“Okay, I'm going to attempt to explain this is semi simple terms.The engine itself is what I call a Pebble-bed Reactor, or a PBR for short. Instead of having water to cool the quote en quote pebbles, the spaces between the pebbles allow pure carbon dioxide to flow through and cool the pebbles. The reactor itself can reach temperatures of up to two thousand degrees Celsius, but it would never reach the critical temperature due to this designs passive cooling. As for what the engine can do, and the operating conditions it can work under, almost anything. The reactor can be used to turn a turbine to run a machine, or produce electricity via a turbine with the excessive heat produced, and since my design is simplistic it can be used in extreme conditions like sub-zero temperatures and extreme heat. As for fuel consumption, you would have to replace the uranium beads at least once every year, and do a check ten times a year.” You know what? It’s actually fun explaining something like this, you get a sense of pride knowing that you made something that no one else has.

The silence is still going; I guess I kind of broke Twilight. She looks like she just died and came back after seeing some freaky stuff, while Celestia, on the other hand, is now looking at me with a thoughtful smile on her face. That still creeps me out. “I think I know exactly what to do with you Mr. Skies, though I have one question left to ask. Due to your knowledge on this engine, you will not be imprisoned, but you will be put under house arrest until I deem you fit to return to society. Further more you will have a warden, if you will, living with you. But first, Twilight are you sure that you and her are okay with doing this?” Wait, what does she mean by that? And who is ‘her’? “Now for the question I mentioned. How do you like Barb?”

I’m pretty sure my brain died, because it feels like I have no mental functions right now. “ I, uh, I-I mean shes nice, strong, uh, cute. W-wait! I didn’t mean to say that! I meant-uh…” Well, I’m pretty sure if I keep talking I’ll say even more that I don’t want to say, so I just snap my mouth shut in embarrassment while my face is burning. And no it’s not because I got set on fire by Celestia, though when I look up at her she’s just smiling away, while nodding softly. “Well at least you hold good regards for her, though you better keep certain comments to yourself because she’s your new warden, and your new roommate, as the kids these days say.”

Well there goes my brain. Bye bye.

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait! To make up for the long wait I made the chapter longer. And who knew that nuclear reactor systems are difficult to explain?

Also a side note about the song, I actually wrote that, the lyrics anyway. Kind of imagine a slow 1950's song, that's where i got my inspiration for the lyrics.

So comment down below to you hearts content, and have a wonderful Wonderful day!

At Least We're Bonding...I Hope

You know what, when I asked Barb if she had wanted to get something to eat I was expecting her to think of it as a date and turn me down almost instantly, maybe slap me for being an idiot. But low and behold she just blushed, which was absolutely adorable, and agreed. Though she did get to pick the place, it just happened to be a small café just outside of town. She was insistent on saying that she picked this place because it was closer, and she didn’t want a certain mare to see me in town. In my opinion though it was so that we didn’t draw a lot of attention to us, that is if the small detachment of guards, and the small white dome that surrounded my house – that would only allow me out if I was accompanied by Barb or the Princesses themselves – wasn’t suspicious enough.

I have to say, though, this little café is quite nice. The only other thing, or dragoness in this case, that is just as nice or nicer is Barb. She may only be wearing a white tank top and some baggy sweatpants, and pardon my language here, but damn did she make it look good. Wait a minute, why am I justifying my use of vulgarity in my own mind? It’s not like anyone else is ever going to know what I’m thinking. Right? “Um, sir, what would you like to order?” Oh, so now the waitress shows up? Just as I’m about to go on a tangent about parallel universe sub-conscious mind links, really? “Can I get the strongest coffee you have, and please leave it black.” She turns to Barb, who just orders a caramel turtle. Is that even a thing, because it doesn’t even sound like it.

Well, as I busy myself with trying to come up with something to say, that wasn’t me hitting on Barb intentionally or unintentionally, Barb looks to be trying to do the same. I mean seriously she has her muzzle scrunched up with a little bit of her tongue sticking out while almost murdering the ketchup bottle with her eyes since she’s so focused. It’s too adorable not to laugh, so I may have let out a few chuckles…that also got her attention. Crap, there goes a perfectly good adorableness weapon.

Barb just gives me a look that screams ‘what?’, “Nothing, just that it looked like you wanted to incinerate that ketchup bottle with your eyes, it was adorable.” As soon as I let those words out three things happened. One, I blushed and rubbed the back of my head like an idiot for the fact that I basically just flirted with her when I really didn’t mean too. Two, Barb blushed and turned her head away not meeting my eyes, but with what I think is a ghost of a smile, at least I hope it’s a smile. I really don’t know what else it could be. And three, the waitress showed back up with our orders, and thank the deities for that.

I just sat there silently drinking my coffee for a few minutes, or at least I think it’s only been a few minutes, all I know is that it’s been a short amount of time. “So Panda, do you, um, have anymore stories like the one you told me earlier? I-I wouldn’t mind hearing them, if you don’t mind sharing them that is!” Normally I would have said maybe later because the only people that I’m used to talking to outside of my house are business associates, and because I don’t normally like sharing anything. But this is anything but normal, since Barb looks absolutely adorable right now, trying to save face, blushing like no tomorrow – I’ll take that as a good sign, even though I don’t believe in love at first sight. I do, however, believe in acquiring a crush on someone rather quickly, like how I’m crushing on Barb pretty hard for only knowing her for a couple days. Ya, I most likely have a problem. Okay so I definitely have a problem, I’ll work on it later.

And anyway what’s the harm in sharing a few stories? I mean if all goes well and we get along well enough, maybe I’ll be able to put aside my cowardly nature for a time and ask her out on a proper date. I mean we technically live with each other right now, so it can’t be all that bad right? Right? “Well, I guess I could share a few, but you got to share some to just to make it fair alright?”

Barb just smiles, nods, and starts to drink her turtle coffee thing. “Alright, so one time when I was out in the Griffon kingdoms on a business venture I went to a small café for a bit of relaxation, not unlike the one we’re in right now but slightly more rustic. The main difference though, was that this café had a small stage set up for stand-up comedy that was going on that night. Now, I didn’t know that the stand up routines were going on that night, so you can imagine my surprise when a Minotaur climbs up on stage and starts sitting out jokes like they were nothing, he was hilarious! Now, everything was fine and dandy until he points to me in the crowd to come up and tell a joke, because apparently this Minotaur likes to pick out an audience member to come up and tell a joke just to get everyone involved. So I go and clamber up onto the stage, and once he gave me the microphone I said the first joke to come to mind, though I did change my name to Copper while telling it because I’m paranoid and stuff. Anyway, so the joke goes like this. So there I was in school one day, I know I wasn’t the smartest kid in class, and the teacher turns to me and says ‘So, Copper, can you tell us the I before E rule?’ and I say ‘I before E…Always.’ And the teacher looks at me and says ‘What are you an idiot Copper?’ so I say ‘Apperantly!’ The teacher just shakes her head in dismay before saying, ‘no, Copper, it’s I before E except after C and with something like A in Neighbor and Weigh and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!’ and to that, all I say to my teacher is, ‘That’s a hard rule, heh, that’s a rough rule’. By the time I finished that joke I had the entire place going, but I left a few minutes later so that I wouldn’t draw attention to myself.”

When I actually stopped talking, the only other sounds I can hear are the idle chatter going about the small café, and Barbs wonderful laughter. Even though she was trying, and failing, to suppress it, it still sounded amazing. “Well Barb, once you’re done trying not to die of laughter, how would you like to see some of my personal inventions? I tinkered a lot when I had spare time, and seeing that I have a lot of that on my hands for the time being, if you want we could go back to the house and build something?” I’m blushing like an idiot right now, but I don’t care dang nab bit! Because I want to build something, so why not build it with the dragoness that I kind sort of have a crush on? It doesn’t that bad for a plan I literally just made up. “Sure, but I get to pick what to build, if that’s okay anyway.” And now she’s blushing a little bit, I swear by the time we even get home we’ll both be tomatoes. And who can say no to an adorable flustered dragoness, so I say the first thing that comes to mind.

“Absolutely.”

Author's Note

I am so sorry about not having this chapter out last week, I got distracted by my studies, and I know it's a lame excuse but just know that I am sorry for making you guys wait.

Leave a comment down below, I don't care if it's random, constructive criticisms, or just pointing out errors (If there are any). I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it, and have a Wonderful WONDERFUL Day!

Things Are Looking Up...Maybe

“And what dose this one do?” Well I sure didn’t expect Barb to be this interested in my random tinkering do dads, if anything I expected her to just look at a few that were more eye catching, like the hydraulic wood splitter for full sized logs, the white noise generator that blocks any sound, or even the levitating tool bench that uses quantum levitation instead of magic, but instead she’s been going to each and every device asking about what it is, how it works, and even why I made it. To me, as an engineer, or mechanical mechanicist, it’s an amazing feeling to have your work be almost praised, and looked upon with wonder. It’s also a bonus that the person giving me said praise is a wonderful dragoness that I have a crush on, and because the combination of Barb and the praise is just making me feel good in general.

And now she’s asking about a small prototype shield that I made, but never got around to finalizing. “That was a shield concept that I never really got around to finishing to production quality, it’s basic principle is that when a metal object strikes the shield the matrix inside will absorb the force and apply a positive magnetic charge to said object and charge another positive magnetic field around the shield itself to discharge the object back. It was originally designed for the guard, but that was before I swore to not make anything pertaining to weapons. So instead I just kept it down here as a small keepsake because I couldn’t find the heart to destroy it.” Yea, I really can't find it in myself to destroy anything I make, and that dose not make me a hoarder, just someone who cares immensely about technology, and the time and effort put into making said technology. “That’s amazing Panda, just the fact that you can create all of this is awesome. I mean I knew you were smart, but this is something that even my sister would have to actually take her time to understand how it works mechanically, you might be as smart, or smarter, than my sister!”

Now that’s some high praise right there, not that it’s unwelcome, only that it’s a lot more than I was expecting. I mean, being called smart, or even a genius, is, in my opinion, high praise in and of itself, but to be compared to a being that is known for her extremely extensive knowledge? That’s something entirely new, and in my case very flattering, given that I’m just standing here scratching the back of my head awkwardly with my face auditioning for the best tomato recreation. That or it’s trying to set itself on fire, either way my face is red red right now, and yes red red is a real color, it’s red but more red than red. I think. “H-heh, I wouldn’t say that I’m as smart as your sister, I mean she is known almost exclusively for her knowledge and-“

You know I’m starting to think that others just naturally, and unknowingly, make a habit of never letting me finish a sentence that contains modesty, ever. “But it’s true Panda! No one else on Equis could have created an engine that ran on nuclear energy, not only because it’s highly illegal, but because of the amount of research and knowledge that is needed to design it, and pardon my language here, but not only design it but to actually build the damn thing! Panda you’ve done something incredible, highly illegal, and most likely not the best choice, but incredible non the less!” Well, this amount of praise is not something that I was expecting, and now I like her even more, not just because she likes what I build, but because she looks past the fact that I did wrong by the law and created something amazing that no one else would have. I swear, Barb never ceases to amaze me.

Well, that’s a small lie since the look of pure undulated realization, and maybe even a small amount of terror, slapped itself onto Barbs face. “Crap! I forgot about that, Panda do you know what time it is?” The look of terror on her face made it clear that I have the time or else something bad is going to happen. “The clock in my workshop is about three minutes fast, so it’s about seven thirty. Why?” Do I even want to know why? Apparently since I asked, why can never remember to think fully before I speak when it’s not a stressful situation? You know what, I’ll figure it out later, since Barb is almost literally dragging me back towards the elevator. “Because my sister will be here any minute! I totally forgot about her coming to see how things have been going!”

Well that’s a lot to just spring on someone, but I don’t really have long to ponder since we’re already to the front door. Somehow. And Barb opens the door to find…nothing. Huh, I thought that Twilight was almost perfect when it came to scheduling and time frames. “Barb, Panda, you’re a minute late, and you’re coming up from the basement, why?” Ah, there she is, and I did not scream like a little girl, again. Not that it happened before. But Barb did jump and half latch onto me and half extend her claws in a defensive stance. I don’t mind the closeness but this little display really solidifies the fact not to get on her bad side. Now onto to metaphorical elephant in the room, and before anyone else could say anything, “Sorry, sorry we are late, Barb just remembered about the meeting, I was showing her some of my contraptions, we lost track of time, the elevator is slow, and more importantly, how did you get into my house?” You know, I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to that question. Magic, because that is the world's most infuriating, and somehow acceptable answer.

“Huh, is that so? And to answer your question, magic.” Ahh! See what I mean? “But to be more descriptive I used a teleportation spell, and just so you know, officially since this is technically a crime scene, and me being a princess, I have full jurisdiction to come and go from the premises as I see fit.” They really don’t let you read the small print, seriously I didn’t even know this, then again most convicted criminal aren’t given a contract. At least that I know of. I should really ask about the terms and services of being a criminal. “That, and my sister is living here as well. And I know you can take care of yourself Barb if Panda decides to do something stupid, but I can't help but coming to check in to see how things are going, and by the looks of it things are going rather smoothly, which is nice.” This is going quite well in my opinion, even though I’m still flustered at the fact that Barb hasn’t let go of me yet, and her sister is right here in front of us. I don’t even know if Barb realizes that she’s still hugging me, if she doesn’t then she’ll figure out eventually because I’m not going to stop her since she’s warm and the only thing separating me from what amounts to a god. That or she knows that she’s still clung onto me which either means that she is trying to use me as a living shield if Twilight gets mad for some reason, she’s just cold somehow, or she actually wants to be close to me. If the last one is true, that would be awesome, but I’m not going to get my hopes up, and now I sound like some kind of creep. Great.

“But back to the original topic on hand, the visit, or check up if you will. Now I will make this short because I have an awful amount of paperwork piling up from this little fiasco of yours Panda.” She really doesn’t seem to like me, more than I originally thought, if the pointed statement of my name is anything to go by. “And because my best sister and number one assistant isn’t there to help me, and even though your not at the castle helping, Barb, your helping in a much more unorthodox way by keeping Panda here in line. Though I still can't understand why you volunteered for this Barb, but it’s good to see you outside the castle more often.”

And I thought I was the only one who turns into a tomato when flattered, because Barbs scales, whom are normally an amazing royal purple, are now tomato red. It almost makes me want to laugh quietly, but having her sister in here would make it kind of awkward. Plus it would make Twilight even more suspicious than she already is about me, it probably doesn’t help that Barb is still latched onto me like I’m a giant standing pillow. Wow, my life really has gotten weird. “Now there is no questions for this visit, on paper this is just a routine check up of the premises, but unofficially it’s so that I can give Panda some…advise if you will.”

And now I’m afraid, not just because of how she said that with an undertone of malice, but because even Barb tensed up a little. “Barb, would you kindly step into the other room for a small time, this will only take a minute.” And there goes my only metaphorical crutch helping me, as Barb walks up the stairs she turns around and gives me a look the says two things, I’m sorry and don’t do something stupid. Well at least I know she cares. “Now Panda, as you’d expect I care a great deal about my subjects, my friends, and especially my family. And given that you have already put all of them at risk with your little stunt, I will give you one warning, and only one. If you hurt Barb, if I get even the slightest hint you even disrespected her, there’ll be nothing left to sweep under the rug.” Is it just me or did it just get really cold in here, because I’m shivering so bad that I think my knee caps are quaking. “Remember that Panda, if you do anything, I’ll know about it, because when it comes to my family, I know everything.” And with that, and a blinding flash and a small pop, Twilight was gone.

This has got to be one of the most restless, uncomfortable, and terrifying nights of my life. I just keep tossing and turning trying to get comfortable, but in doing so I keep messing up my blankets, which makes me toss and turn even more. Arg! Not to mention that I’m now even more paranoid than I usually am because a head of state just came into my house and told me that I’d be executed if I did one wrong, and that she is always watching. That’s not creepy and downright terrifying, no not at all, definitely not enough to warrant me not being able to sleep for the foreseeable future. But just as I’m about to turn again I hear my bedroom door open. I turn quick enough to almost launch myself out of bed and run from…Barb?

What is she doing here, in her pajamas no less. I mean, it’s nothing revealing in any way, but it’s not exactly modest either being that she’s only wearing an overly long shirt, and that’s all I could see. I just hope she’s wearing underwear, it’s cold up here, and because I don’t want another shower bathroom fiasco to happen. “Barb, what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.” The lighting isn’t the best so all I see is her general outline dip a little bit, almost as if embarrassed. Why would she be embarrassed? I hear her mumble something but couldn’t make it out. “What was that, I couldn’t quite hear you.” Now add concerned to the list of afflictions tonight. “I-I’m really cold, and my room isn’t that warm, a-and I, uh, I had a nightmare.” So she’s her because she’s cold and had a nightmare, what am I to do about it, I don’t know anything about dreams. “So I was, um, w-wondering if I could sleep with you tonight?”

Even though I can't see anything well in the dark I can say for certain that both of our faces are beat read, and even though this is probably the most awkward situation I’ve been in, I couldn’t deny that I wanted to, if my quickening heart, small giddy smile, and overall good feeling was anything to go by. “U-uh, sure, okay. If it make you feel better, I w-wouldn’t mind.” I said that much louder that I thought I would, but I don’t really have much time to ponder since Barb is already under the covers and snuggling up to me with her back to my chest. Wow, she is warm, makes me want to hug her closer, though im not entirely sure if that’s a good idea but a small shiver from Barb makes me have to at least try. So I drape one arm over her and pull her close, earning a small, dare I say, content sigh from Barb. And before I was fully asleep I heard barb mumble something but I couldn’t quite make it out, but in all honesty I didn’t really care since I’m comfortably snuggled up to my crush. And with that final thought I fell asleep to the beating of Barbs heart.

Author's Note

Hey! I'M NOT DEAD ANYMORE! HEHEHE HA!

I am so sorry for the lifetime wait for the next installment of this thing that I'm writing, the reason it took so long, and I'm going to be completely honest, was because I'm lazy. That and because of writers block. I really didn't think this through when I decided to just start writing without a detailed timeline of the entire story. And in hindsight it was a really dumb idea, so now I'm basically winging it every time.

And as a side note: I hope you peoples enjoy the longer than usual chapter, and comment down below what you liked, what you didn't, and what ever the hell else is on your mind this fine day, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever time of day it is for you.

Have a Wonderful WONDERFUL Day!

Well...Time To Pray

That has got to be the most fulfilling, amazingly great night of sleep that I’ve ever had, and this really warm body pillow is the cause of this wonderful sleep. Thank you body pillow, I…wait a minute. I don’t own a body pillow. Then what am I holding onto? I open my eyes to see a sleeping Barb facing me, a small smile gracing her lips as she lied there in blissful sleep. Wow, even my mind has poetic moments, but back to the fact that Barb is in my bed, still, at least. She’s usually up before I am, and that’s saying something because the clock says seven and barb is usually up at around six. I don’t mind that she’s still here, though I do wonder when she is going to get up, but until then I’m just going to lie here contently and snuggle up to my crush.

Speaking of my crush, how am I going to tell her that I like her without sounding like a creep. I say creep because Barb and I have only really known each other for a few days, and say what you will about love at first sight, I don’t believe in it. I do, however, believe that one can begin to like some one enough to ask them out to get to know them better within a short amount of time. And here lies my problems, she may not believe in the same thing, I’m a technically a criminal of the nation, and her sister and mother are very protective if last night was anything to go by. Just thinking about Twilight's little warnings making me hold Barb just a little closer because Twilight now, in my opinion, is terrifying, and that’s all I have to say on that particular topic.

Now, how to tell her? I could do the old trusty method of a small dinner at a nice place and ask then, but I don’t want to be too cliche. I could first ask permission from her mother and sister, but they both terrify me so that’s out. Even though if we do start dating they would find out eventually, Twilight most likely would be the first to know, and the first to act. Now that I think about it, definitely Twilight, Twilight is guarantied to know first no matter what. I guess that leaves me with just asking, that’s going to be fun, but it’s the best plan I got. But now the dilemma is when to ask, and how to say it. You know what, before I start self doubting I’ll ask her the first chance I get, but until then I’m just going to enjoy the feeling of holding Barb close. And it’s a nice feeling indeed, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I wonder when she’ll actually get up, it’s almost eight already, and as much as I love the snuggles, I have to wake her up or it’ll take forever for her to go to sleep tonight. I start to pull away a small bit only to be pulled closer with a small, purr, maybe, from Barb. I start to pull away again and…I cant move. I may have forgotten about how dragons, even young ones, are extremely strong, and now since Barb is a dragoness and using me as an over sized living teddy bear, I’m stuck.Great.

Well, now I have to wake her up just by talking. Good for me. “Barb. Hey Barb. It’s time to get up, we slept in, it’s eight in the morning and I don’t know about you but I’d like some coffee before the mornings over.” Well that was easier than expected because she just opened her eyes and looked at me, almost like she was already awake…huh, I’ll ponder that thought later, I want some coffee. “It’s already eight? Wow I slept better than I thought I would, thank you Panda.” And now she’s hugging me even though she’s been cuddling me most of the night. “It was nothing Barb, but here’s just one little thing.” She just gives me a curios look with a small tilt of her head. That is adorable, but what I’m going to say is really going to kill what little ego I have. “I’m, uh, I’m stuck. Your stronger than me so I cant move. Heh.”

She just looks at me before she seems to realize that she’s holding me in place and lets go. She sits up with a small bush on her face, so I sit up as well, but on the way up I stretch to start getting feeling back into my arms. I sit up fully after stretching and see Barb just staring at me, and not at my face but rather at my chest. Oh yea, I don’t sleep with a shirt, only with a pair of sweat pants. Great, now I’m self conscious of how my body looks. I’m by no means fat, buff, or extremely thin. I’m toned but I’m more on the skinny side, in all I’m just slightly above average, which I am absolutely fine with. But my question is why is she still staring at my chest, so I just give her a questioning look when she looked up for a second. She gives me an awkward laugh, “I didn’t, uh no offence, but I didn’t expect you to be toned or have abs.” Oh, okay then, that’s actually a pretty common thing that I hear from people who see without a shirt on, which is not often but still. “Ah. Yea, you’d be surprised at the amount of physical labor that goes into research, building, and testing. That, and I randomly exercise once in a while, nothing too crazy, just some push up’s and sit up’s.”

Am I bragging a little bit, yes I am. Why? Because I can, and because Barb is still looking at my chest. This isn’t helping my ego much, so before anything else is said I’m going to get out of bed, “Well, how about you go get ready while I go start some coffee? There’s been something I’ve been wanting to ask. Alright?” She nods with a small smile, says a quick thank you again, and out of the room she goes, and downstairs I go for some much needed coffee. That, and so I can come up with a game plan of how to confess to Barb. Wow, even in my mind I sound like a cheesy romance story.

I think for the coffee today I’ll put two full cups of coffee grounds into the filter, I’m going to need this as my version of liquid pride, and because I still need to wake up fully. The idea of a morning without coffee is a tragedy that I pray will never come to pass again, it has happened once and I shall never speak of the terrors of that day. Wow, okay then, my mind went all archaic prophesy mode right there, yet another thing to ponder later. At least the coffee is already starting to brew, but it’ll still be a minute until it has enough for one cup, so I guess now is a good time as any to plan.

Okay, all I have to do is tell her how I feel, that still sounds cheesy to me but back on track, I guess I’ll tell her right after we sit down with our coffee in the living room. It’s a fool proof plan! I think…hope…whatever, it’ll work!But by the sounds of the shower turning on, I’ll have to put my plan on hold for a little while longer, and try not to think about the shower incident and Barbs body… well that didn’t work. I know that when I tell myself to not think about something I immediately start thinking about that thing specifically. It’s not a bad mental image…memory, but I just feel wrong looking at her that way without her consent. Even if it is in my head. Nothing can be easy can it? You know what, I’m going to answer my own question and say no, it’s almost always never going to be easy or simple. Because life is chaos and chaos is life, and…why do I hear laughing after saying that? Whatever, not going to question it. The coffee’s almost done anyway.

And done, finally got done making mine and Barbs coffee. While I like mine just plain black, Barb likes hers with some creamer and a hint of sugar for some reason. I just don’t understand why, she has creamer but she wants sugar with it too? Wouldn’t that make it overly sweet? She boggles my mind I tell you, in good and confusing ways. And I think I hear Barb coming down the stairs, so here goes nothing. I take the coffee mugs into the living room and set them down just as Barb walks into the room, and did she look good. Even though she’s only wearing a white tank top and a pair of sweat pants, they just seem to fit her and her personality. Or it might be because I’m a hopeless romantic looking for anyway to put her on a pedestal, but I digress; she dose look great as always. That and I like minimalist styles.

Now, all I have to do is tell her. Just tell her. I am really not ready for this, maybe Barb will forget I said anything and I can do this later with a better plan than one that was thought up in my coffee deprived mind. “So, Panda…what did you want to ask me, or talk to me about? I'm just a little bit confused.” Of course she would remember, why did I even think for a moment I could get out of this easy? Well, I guess I got to go for broke. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. “Well, I-I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’d like to go out with me because your amazing and totally not because you’re a cute dragoness and I kind of have a thing for female dragons, but then I kept thinking why would someone good like you want to go out with me, a criminal that you’ve only known for a couple of days, an enemy of the country, and I’m going stop rambling before I embarrass myself any more than I already have…heh.”

Now Barb is just standing there with a blank expression and…Is that…is she…she is! That’s a smile! Why is she smiling? I don’t know if that’s a good thing. And faster than I could comprehend I was pulled into a hug that, if it weren’t for me being an earth pony, my spine would have been shattered in half. Luckily, somehow, I could still breath, albeit with some difficulty. Then she dropped me, I don’t know for sure or not but I think it’s because she could hear me struggling for air. I look up to see her still smiling face, and her hand outstretched to help me up. “Yes, Panda, I’ll go out with you, but now what?”

I looked up with a smile, and grabbed her hand. “How’s about we go get some breakfast?” She pulls me up with ease, yet again cementing the idea to never get on her bad side. “I’m in the mood for some chocolate chip pancakes, how about you?” Barb nods, but looks like she’s debating something, and looks absolutely adorable with how her muzzle is scrunched up and her furrowed eyebrows, but before I could say anything she looks at me with a sheepish expression while rubbing the back of her head. “Um, Panda, do you mind if my mom and sister come with us? To, you know, tell them about what just happened….”

Well, her family was bound to find out sooner or later, and even though I was betting on the later not sooner, may as well get it over with. I sigh and nod yes, and Barb just says a quick thank you and, almost literally, drags me out of the door past some now very confused guards. This feels like a really bad case of déjà vu, and now I have to just pray to any deity, that isn’t a head of state, to let me live through whatever madness is about to happen.

And where is that laughter coming from!?

Author's Note

Nothing much for a note this time other than DIS GON BE GUD!

Don't forget to comment about anything and everything! (I lied, there was more to this Authors Note)

Well...This Is Deja Vu

“So, what’s really going on between you two, because I highly doubt this amount of tension, and all around awkwardness, is normal. I would believe it to be normal if it was only from Mr. Skies, given our past meeting, but with you Barb, my own daughter, thrown into the mix, there is something else going on. So would either of you kindly explain?” Huh,well that was fast, Barb and I had only been at the same table with Princess Celestia for a few moments and already she knew something was up. Though I have to admit it could be worse, Princess Twilight could be here for this and immediately send me on a permanent trip to Tartarus, never to be seen again. So I’ll take what I can get, but now onto the dilemma of how to explain the fact that I’m now going out with Barb to her god-like mother. This entire situation is like a major case of déjà vu.

Though before I said anything, I felt Barb grab my hand and squeeze, it brought a small smile to my face, and the simple act gave me enough courage to speak. “Well, Princess, to put it simply, Barb and I have decided to get to know each other better and start going out.” And with that, I was left looking around nervously waiting for a response from the head of state sitting across the table. Princess Celestia was, in all aspects, unreadable, there were no signs of anger, disappointment, anything to help tell what she was thinking, she was stone faced as the Griffons say, and that fact is utterly terrifying to me. That’s just for the fact that she could be thinking of either the most painful way of getting rid of me for good, or whether or not to allow her daughter to go out with a criminal. My hope is on the latter of the two, but my logic, and my fear, is suggesting otherwise, and to run as far and fast as possible.

With a sigh, the Princess looked up directly at Barb and I, shifting her gaze from each of us, never stopping for more than a few seconds. Then out of no where the princess stands up, and walks out of the café without a word, her face still un readable. I, for one, am stunned, and the look on Barbs face basically mirrors mine but with an added emotion; utter disbelief. And in another weird turn of events, that has become the norm for my life as of late, the Princess came back into the café, as sat directly back into her spot across the table, but this time with a look of slight irritation and a small, almost unperceivable, smile.

With another sigh, she looked at Barb and I, “Sorry, I had to step out for a second and process the…situation, and I have only one thing to say. As much as I question the decision you two have made, it was a decision you both came to agree on, and for that I will not judge, rather I will allow this to continue and watch to see if you, Mr. Skies, are good at heart, and to put it simply you must vi for my acceptance. There is no debating my decision, my word is final. And for you Barb, I trust in your choices, do not make me regret this.” Her tone was final, and gave warning, but also contained care that only a mother could have. Barb smiled and nodded, I smiled even though I was terrified, and with that the Princess stood up, but before she left she turned to look at us again, “And as a gesture of goodwill and courtesy, for the both of you, I’ll explain the predicament to Twilight, seeing that she and you, Mr. Skies, don’t particularly get along.” Then with a flash of blinding light, she teleported, frickin magic, it’s cheating I tell ya!

Though I am grateful at the fact that Barb and I wont have to be the first to explain the relationship to Twilight. It would be like looking death in the eye, you just don’t do that if you don’t have to, and this time I wont! So I’m happy, and grateful, that the Princess is going to do that, and because she allowed Barb and I to continue dating. Speaking of dating, “Barb, since we’re here in a nice café, want to get something to eat?” Bar just looks at me with a smile, “Like a date?” I chuckle a little, just for the fact that she knew exactly what I was trying to do, “Yea, like a date.” Barb just laughs and smiles, “Sure, but you’re paying.”

My life is going to be awesome, though I cant shake the feeling that my life adventures and chaos had only just begun…AND WHERE IS THAT LAUGHTER COMING FROM?

Author's Note

Well that's a wrap! I know that the chapter is extremely short compared to the others but after months of ideas, story boards, writing, re-writing, I must have completely scraped over twenty different iterations of the ending, and this is the one that was the best in my opinion. I've never been good at endings, I'm halfway decent (I think) at writing the meat of a story, but not the endings, they always seem...wrong, not right, something just isn't there, and for that i'm sorry that this is the best i could do. BUT in any case i hope you all enjoyed the story anyways, and who knows? There might be more to come in this adventure...

HAHAHAhehe....

Wait... why do I hear laughter?

Settling In With No Complications What So Ever... I Think

Authors Note: This chapter is set a couple of days after the last chapter, and it dose reference this time skip in the chapter, but I thought I would warn you guys before the chapter started.

I don’t even know what to think anymore, it feels like just yesterday I was almost sentenced to life in prison, almost turned to ash, and forced to have a cute dragoness named Barb start living with me as my quote en quote warden. Wait, that didn’t happen yesterday, it happened two days ago. I swear I lose track of time way too easily. I wonder if that happens to Barb. Speaking of the dragoness I really need to stop calling her cute, beautiful, and pretty both in my mind and out loud. Not just because if she takes it the wrong way she could beat me to a pulp, but because of the fact that her mother, and sister, are what amount to deities in both stature and power. It would not be fun to get on their bad sides.

Where is Barb anyway, she had some stuff moved into the guest room earlier today, but after that I haven’t seen head nor tails of her. Not that I was looking at her tail specifically! Well, maybe I was a little, but only for… I don’t know what for. Dose that constitute as a sign that I have a crush on her, or that I’m a horrible pony with little to no respect, because if it is then I am thoroughly screwed. Though I’ll deal with that problem later, probably, but as for right now I need to find Barb. If she went down to the workshop, which I highly doubt, then I need to find her fast, but first I’m going to check the main floors rooms, and the upstairs two little bed rooms. Well, she isn’t in any of the downstairs rooms, so by process of elimination she must be either in her room, or in my lab. So I walk up the stairs and just as I turn the corner the bathroom door opens, and so I found Barb. In nothing but a towel.

The problem, that wasn’t there before now, is when she saw me she started to run, but the towel caught on the door handle. I’m pretty sure the instant the towel left her body, both of our faces became tomatoes, and so now I’m left in the middle of the hallway with an internal struggle of thinking about what I just saw, what’s going to happen if her mother finds out, and what in Tartarus I’m supposed to say the next time we talk. Though I’m not going to lie, she looked nice… dammit!

I sit on my couch, glancing at the clock and stairs periodically for how much time has passed since the…incident that occurred upstairs, and to see if Barb is coming downstairs. I look back at the clock; Barb’s been upstairs for over an hour. I really hope that I didn’t offend her by looking, not that I could have stopped myself, it happened too fast. Though, and I do feel bad for her and thinking this way but, why would she be offended? Again I hate myself for thinking this way, but she shouldn’t be offended, it’s not that she looks bad or anything, she actually looks really nice. And now I’m back to thinking about her body, crap. Well, time to use my best mental strategy I know, so all I do is think orange, monkey, eagle. I do this repeatedly for a while until I hear footsteps descending down the staircase.

Well there she is, now dressed in a pair of baggy black sweat pants and a red t-shirt, but what really catches my attention is the fact that she looks unsure of herself. If how she shuffles oddly to the recliner, and avoids my gaze is anything to go by. Once she sat down, neither of us could meet each other’s eyes or start to speak because…well how is one supposed to start a conversation after what happened without it being awkward? It’s not like I could just say, ‘Hey, I know I just saw you naked and your really embarrassed, but if it’s any consolation I think you look really nice, and I may or may not have a crush on you right now.’ Now that would make things a whole lot more awkward than it already is. So I do the only thing that I can, and have been doing a lot lately. “I’m sorry Barb. About y-you know, what happened, I was just wondering where you were and it was my fault-“

Before I could finish that sentence though, Barb cuts me off. “I-it wasn’t your fault, I shouldn’t have freaked out and ran when I saw you, I..uh might have over reacted a bit. Maybe.” At this point both of our faces are full blown red, but other than that it’s not going as bad as I thought it would, but now all I have to worry about is an angry mother slash deity reducing my entire body to ashes. "And, uh, can we keep what happened between the two of us? If my mom found out…I don’t want to know what’ll happen to us. Especially you, given that your already on my moms, and the law’s, bad side. I, um…heh, don’t really want you to get hurt. I mean, you don’t seem like a bad pony, just extremely short sighted.”

Well color me surprised, or whatever color is used to make someone look surprised, she actually doesn’t want to tell her mother, and she might actually care for me if the renewed blush on her face is anything to go by. “Um, sure, I’m not about to tell.” Seeing that I’d probably be reduced to ash if Celestia did find out. “Heh, this kind of reminds me of one of my encounters while out on the job. I was in a bar in one of the Zebra tribes, and there was a zebra in the back booth getting chewed out by, who I found out later his girlfriends mother, about him seeing her daughter naked before marriage. Poor guy never had a chance when she grabbed him by the ear and quite literally dragged him out because he tripped halfway to the door and she didn’t stop.”

That was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever seen in all of my travels. By the end I was laughing just by remembering it, and Barbs laughter is resonating throughout the house with mine. “Okay I would have loved to have seen that, but-“ Barb was cut off by both of our stomachs sending out a gurgle, telling the both of us that we were apparently hungry, and we both didn’t blush, at all.

So I ask a simple question that could be taken in many ways, “So, want to go get something to eat?”

Author's Note

Haha! Another chapter for you wonderful people!

Now I want to ask a few questions, if that's okay, but I just want to know what you guys think of the story so far, what would you like to see in the future, and what do you think I need to build or improve upon in this story, or if I have errors. Just comment down below, even if it's just something completely random. Those ones are always fun.

And have a wonderful Wonderful day!