(Language is quite strong here)

Mud

Mud is still in most of my clothing, some in my coat.

I'm still in sweet apple acres. Lost and still finding my way out of this shit hole.

Entire place is just like a maze, Damn, this must be acres big I exaggerated.

Smiling at my on joke, I kept on moving. Still thinking on what to do.

Oh yeah! If Applejack encounters a problem. She would go and ask Twilight, or ask assistance with Dash I thought, making my mind up by being careful about stray clouds.

"Hey! Trail!" I said, seeing a trail in the farm. Not really going directly on the trail, but beside it to prevent bumping into someone. And Continued my way.

~~~~~~~~~~

Finally seeing the fences, I also saw the exit of the farm. Scouting ahead, I don't see anyone, or anypony for the matter. So I started galloping as fast as I can, and went out using the exit.

And bumping into a filly.

What's with me and bumping into anything today?

~~~~~~~~~~

"Ow!" She moaned in pain, trying to resist crying.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry! Are you okay?" I asked in concern.

"Ahm Fine mister, don't worry about it. I'm not a foal anymore" She said, trying to reassure the pony who accidentally hit him.. Taking a look at said pony. She saw him covered in mud and dirt, and smelled like sweat.

"Golly mister, you looked like you were rolling with the pigs in the mud puddle after being chased by a timberwolf for hours" She said exaggerating about the fact on how I look.

Well, technically that happened if you think about It I thought

"Well, if you're okay, then I must be on my way." I said, trying to walk away.

"Wait mister, haven't you took a bath today?" She asked in curiosity.

"Well, No, no i haven't, Why?" I asked back.

"Well, you can use our bathroom to clean yourself up" She answered

"Well - " Wait, is it bad to turn down an offer of hospitality? or Is it bad to Impose on someones home?

Should I really take the risk and go back to the home of my pursuer this morning? Or risk a disappointed filly?

Well, I'll have to be clean as possible then, I guess I have to accept it. But in a negative way so that to test if she actually mean it.

"I would, but I don't want to Impose" I continued, rubbing the back of my head with my forehoof.

"Aw shucks don't be like that, You aren't imposing or anything. Besides, wouldn't be good to give someone a little bit of southern hospitality?" She aurgued.

" Okay, I'll go, but I don't really want to abuse this. I'll just do it for today okay?" I said, making our way back to her house.

While near the premises, I kept my guard up by looking out for an apple farmer anywhere. I know that she wouldn't be hear because of work. It is 11 in the afternoon. Also why was she out early? Guess it might be a half - day class today.

"I'm home!" Applebloom Shouted, as I prepared to run.

Hearing no pony, she let me in the house. Went upstairs and said.

"The bathrooms over there, the third door on the right. Can't miss it" She pointed out.

"Okay, thanks" I said, as I went inside. Putting my bag at the side then looked in the bathroom.

Should make this quick before her sister will arrive for lunch Then ran to the bathtub.

~~~~~~~~~~

5 minutes later. I walked out with a wet jacket on me, The mud is still visible but not really noticeable. Seeing Applebloom coloring in an coloring book.

"I'll be off now applebloom, thanks" I said

"Goodbye mister!" She said back

Then I walked out

Then ran using the trail.

~~~~~~~~~~

Now walking in Ponyville, I'm still keeping my out for weather pegasi and an apple seller. Trying my best to find a local hotel or stay in room. Using the sun to dry my clothes while walking.

Not knowing where, or even if there where a hotel in Ponyville. I decided to ask somepony for direction.

"Excuse me miss?" I asked a random mare in the streets. She has a gray coat with a yellow mane.

Derpy?

"Do you know where the nearest hotel is?" I asked her.

She just pointed at the right, at the street she just wnet through. Saying my thanks, I made my way there. Not before giving me a muffin, which I also thanked her.

I just talked to Derpy, Huh? LittleshyFIM be jealous! I triumphantly thought in my head. Then continued walking.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello there miss?" I questioned the mare in the counter.

"Yes sir, how may I help you today?" She asked

"Well are there any rooms for available today?" I asked, she nodded back.

"Yes sir, we do. Are you new here?" She asked all of the sudden.

"Yes I am miss" I answered.

"Then are you planning to stay here? Because if you are then you will have a 3 days free on staying here. One day will be 5 bits while A week will be 15." She said

Just as I thought. I will have to thank a certain fanfiction by giving me this valid information

"Why thank you miss." I said.

"All you have to do is do this paperwork and you'll get your room key" She said.

I looked on the paper and it was all about my personal Info.

Okay, name. Already thought of that, or at least a fake name. Writing down "Blue Snowball". Much like a blue snowball Microphone.

Sounds like a rapper, but It'll have to do Then I saw birthdate

No use lying here, why would I actually I thought, then writing down 25 of May.

Doing most of them by pulling shit out my ass, I signed it with my signature and gave it to her.

"Here's the key to room 112. Enjoy your stay here sir" She said enthusiastically

Going upstairs, finding the room number 112
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Fluff" "Groan"

Finding the room, I decided to hunt the bed the second my hoof touched the doorway. Jumping on the bed and shoving the pillow on my face.

Sigh, Now what? I mean, I got myself a room for three days? Have some apples from Applejack I could have privacy.

"Speaking about privacy" I said locking the door, blocking the window with curtains. Pulling out me laptop, warping myself in my blanket.

"Let's do this!" Rubbing as fast as I can.

...

...

...

"Keep rubbing the bird!" The laptop said, playing rubby bird.

~~~~~~~~~~

"DASH! Stop napping and get your flank down here!" Applejack shouted

"AJ, you've been yelling at me for 10 minutes. What the hay do you want?" Dash replied, looking down. Frustrated about being interrupted from her afternoon nap.

It was afternoon, and the aftermath after the chase infuriated Applejack and she want to ask her friends about who that pony is.

"I just came here to tell you about that blue pony, have you seen that pony? Been looking for him for hours." Applejack asked

"Wait, what pony? Is he wearing some kind of saddlebag on his back with some kind of hood above his head?" She asked for confirmation.

"Wait, that was a saddlebag? huh, I thought that was some kind of style of hi -" Before she finished, Rainbow was already on her face, with an aggressive face. Remembering what he did last night.

"Then let's go find him."

~~~~~~~~~~

"That's a wrap!" I said, after recording the last line on my "Ponyville satire" video.

Just censored most all of the swearing. Because oversensitive assholes are oversensitive.

It's like what? 2 o'clock in the afternoon? I already took the books back to twilight. I mean sure, I didn't read the history of equestria book. That was just for the smart perception.

Seriously though? Who the fuck wants to be smart?

Now to spend the rest of my time making this shit. With no gaming background video. I have just the Idea.

Going to google Images, I searched for the only thing I could come up with.

"Pony Radio logo by a random brony I found in deviant art. No one will sue me unless they know this and me." I said to myself, like I accomplished something. Can't set this up until dawn. All I could do is wait.

Now what the fuck am I going to do with the battery now?

Realization also hits me

Is my fucking wound infected! Shit.

Running to the bathroom then slamming the door closed.

~~~~~~~~~~

"You found him yet?" Applejack asked dash from above.

"Nope, I flew around Ponyville for an hour now. Can't find a coat nor tail of him." Dash answered.

"You think he left Ponyville?" Applejack said

"I think so" Dash stated her opinion

"Drats" Applejack said Indignantly.

"You said it" Dash said with her.

By the by, no pony in Equestria has outsmarted then like that when it comes to speed, strategy and Agility. So it safe to say that their pride is wounded. If you count Trixie but she's a nagging bitch, so not a pony.

~~~~~~~~~~

Night has finally fallen.

Having planed out where to put the projecter, and changed the gauze from my would. I made my move as quickly and as quietly as I Possibly can. Having dark colors surround me, my good old friend darkness of the night helped my by sticking in the shadows as to not be spotted.

"Their minds are going to be blown when they see this tomorrow. I expect so much offended ponies." I said, having the leafy mentality.

Banishing those thoughts, I reach to my destination. A bush on town hall in town square. Remember that big cylinder building you see in the first episode where princess lazy - ass, sun raising, dependent on the mane six horse was? Yes, that place. Not really inside the thing. just the wall. it's a bright yellow so pretty much it can project good. The volume is loud enough for speakers in the laptop and the direction of the light can't be seen because of the sun.

Don't ask me about the lighting and the volume. Equestrian logic man.

Having found that, I shove myself the the conveniently placed bush and plugged my laptop and projector to project what the laptop is projecting to project it in the projector.

That's a mouthful

Having done that, I stayed in the bush and waited till sunrise.

Already slept outside, might as well sleep here. This is a waste of a day for the hotel. I should also get a job too, and some flying abilities.

*Plop* Sleep surrounds me.

~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up at the sounds of ponies going by their lives. Rising up, back on the street with grass and greenery on the bush in my mouth. I quickly prepared my video.

"Let's do this shit" I said as I pressed the play button.

~~~~~~~~~~

Twilight with her list is in the market finding stuff to buy. She always prepared list, because of her OCD. Because she is too lazy to write, she let's Spike write everything and also she also let him check everything.

She IS a good owner

"Okay, Quills, Scrolls, food, Gems? Spike, why does he always write with his stomach. *sigh* At least I am done with my erra -"

Suddenly, the black light in the side of the town hall shined saying, Pony radio with signs of a pony and a cylinder thing with a black wavy thing connected to it. And it said.

Do you want a peaceful and quiet life? Then being interrupted with an annoying pink pony? Do you want to live in a town filled with so much mares, ya perv? Fear not because we have the place for you, presenting PONYVILLE!

What is Ponyville you ask? Ponyville can be found as a insignificant speck in the official equestrian map. Yes, it's that F(Squee)king small, But it is there in the map. I don't know what's up with Celestia, but putting this here is pretty stupid if you're going with enemies easily conquering the small village for blackmail for surrender but whatever. I mean, a town this vulnerable can be a great disadvantage if you count the apple orchard being targeted for food for the troops of an invasion, but since we trust her with all our hearts. We will trust her judgement her, I Guess.

Step right up and visit in this peaceful and humble town filled with unprejudiced ponies? Then come right up! But this is only for ponies. You see, if you're a zebra. Then it's best for you to F(Squee)k off. Because the second we found out we ponies found out about what you really are, the best thing we do here, is to hide.

Because I agree about ponies being the "Most friendlies race in equs", I mean, hiding from a race that is different from yours is totally friendly as all balls!

In this town, you will be greeted by a Pink pony, who is also known as Pinkie pie, nick named a lot of things. For one example is the, I don't give a F(squee)k about what you think about parties, I will drag you to it because I can. Because Pinkie knows how to be a good friend because she cares about how you feel, right? And what's better is that, even if you do decline on her parties, she can go in to your house and make a party in there. Because Pinkie knows that being a good friend means that you can trespass. And she does know that you can't file lawsuits here so you can't sue her for trespassing. right?

This is Ponyville. You are always welcome here

Then it ended, just like that. Leaving ponies' jaws wide open. I, in the other hand, snickered.

Author's Note

I'm not even sure if this is even satire. But okay