Chapters I dedicate this story to my mother. I hope she never reads it.
Chapter 1
Maud Pie was traveling to Rok-kon. For the fifteenth time in a row she was going to be attending the largest convention for geology enthusiasts and their relatives (i.e. guardians) in all pony inhabited lands (and possibly the universe).
The convention has always been held in a small mountain village called High Haven. Located in a remote valley, it's a tranquil, sleepy little cottage for fifty one weeks of the year. During the remaining week and a bit it is a crowded festival town, full of ponies who argue about layers, densities and crystal structures, while struggling to express emotions properly and being generally uncomfortable, as well as various attractions that appeal only to the aforementioned ponies. Panels about innovatory igneous rock classification methods? 'Sedimentary (v)alley'? The Crystal Garden? Guess the protolith? Yeah, me neither. But that’s what’s there.
To reach Rok-kon one must take the train. The only train line reaching High Haven travels through almost the entire length of the mountain range it’s located in, which means for most of the journey it rides on an incline so steep, the entire line has been dubbed ‘The Slide’. It also famously goes through the longest rail tunnel in Equestria, passing straight through the base of Mount Loom. The train spends almost fifteen minutes in the tunnel without any load, and hundreds of convention attendees lugging their merchandise with them almost triples that time.
As the train moved towards the entrance of the tunnel at the pace of stalagmite climbing to meet a stalactite, Maud Pie was looking out the window to admire the young extrusive igneous rocks, barely touched by the tooth of erosion, resting majestically on the side of the mountain. There were still two more stations left before High Haven, but all one could see there were some boring, nearly extinct coniferous trees, found only in that valley. Why would anyone bother with something that can stop existing entirely within one's lifetime? It's just a waste of time. Rocks will outlast all of us and deserve everypony's respect for that single reason. Not that it's the only reason to respect rocks.
The magical lamps that light the train while inside the tunnel flickered on. Their light, completely unnoticeable while in bright daylight, was a sure sign the train was about to enter the tunnel. Maud noticed that fact only through their faint reflections in the window, as she was enjoying the last glimpses of igneous she was going get in the next few hours. The train's lamps were unfortunately nowhere near bright enough to light the walls of the tunnel, to despair of many of its passengers, turning what should be a relaxing experience deep in the safety of earth's womb into a torture of knowing, that something exciting is out there, but you are not allowed to see it.
-Excuse me, is this seat free? - A quiet voice asked.
Without ever seeing whoever asked, Maud looked at the seat in front of her, where a stallion slept with his face covered by a newspaper, snoring from time to time. She did not look at the seat next to him, as he slouched into it a bit and shifted her view straight to the seat beside her. There she saw her tail intruding ever so slightly on the seat's designated space. She removed it and went back to delighting in the view from the window.
She did not look directly at the pony who asked, but she did manage to see his T-shirt with a very telling 'Gneiss to meet you!' on it, with a lovely banding pattern all over it. It was obvious he also was attending Rok-kon, possibly to try and 'shed the crust'.
-Thank you! - he said, quickly realizing he won't get a verbal response, and sat down keeping as much distance between himself and Maud as possible without it looking weird - I had a seat lower in the train - he added, feeling a need to justify his intrusion - but I had to go check on my attuned almandines in the baggage car. They really shouldn't be anywhere close to those lamps - he looked up to the ceiling and gave said lamps a very concerned look - They didn't let me inside, but promised to check...
He had more things to say, but was interrupted by a loud, booming voice demanding the attention of every passenger. The owner of the voice must have really known what he was doing, because even Maud turned her head slightly to listen.
-The crew of this train would like to request our passengers to, under no circumstances, put their heads, or any other body parts, outside the windows, or even open the windows at all while in the tunnel - For inexplicable reasons, many ponies loved to experience the rush of air from a moving train directly on their face. Even some pegasi indulged in this practice. One would think they'd be used to that already - We know the ride through the tunnel can be rather dull - the conductor continued speaking - but we assure there is nothing but darkness and rocks outside.
The speech has obviously not been adapted for the current passengers of the train, for many of whom rocks can be a good enough reason to risk serious injury, or, in some cases, even death. Luckily for the rail company, they aren't the kind to break the rules. Or break anything whatsoever. And they were especially not the ones who broke the famous across all of Equestria stalagnates in the Southern Dragon Caves for a bet. No, no, definitely not them.
As the conductor was thanking everypony for their attention and cooperation, a pegasus walked by, carrying a large package between her wings, and asked:
-Is this space taken? - she motioned to the seat next to the sleeping pony with her head.
-I just got here… - muttered the freshly arrived unicorn and looked towards Maud.
-It's free - said Maud, this time not even bothering to inspect the space. The train was about to go dark and the view out the window was nearing its at-some-point-hot-as-magma climax.
-Wonderful! - said the pegasus and threw her package under the seat with seemingly little care for its contents, which were heavy judging by the thudding sound it made hitting the floor. She sat down and sighed - I had to carry this thing up the mountain on my back because the baggage car was full of rocks! They said they wouldn't be able to fit anything more in there no matter how hard they tried - she shook her head in disbelief - Next year I'm just flying over the mountain and mailing the gift a week earlier, the trains are getting worse and worse every year...
At that very moment the train entered the tunnel with a loud woosh, the normal sounds accompanying a train ride changed their tone completely and everything started looking pale in the dim light of the lamps. Maud turned her head away from the window and started staring at the space in front of her. It looked like she was reading the newspaper covering the stallion in front of her, but she already did that hours ago. The newspaper's front page was trying to convince her that the Princess of the Moon was not only not reformed, but also responsible for the recent changeling attack on Canterlot. Maud had to admit that the staggering amount of self-destructiveness on display, as the claims were made completely invalid, no matter how much conclusive evidence could have been presented in the related article, by the fact that they shared the front page with the following sentence: 'My husband was a batpony weredragon!', intrigued her on a level she thought was impossible for something made out of paper. It's a good thing her father would never allow the newspaper to exist within the bounds of their farm, or Maud might have even considered subscribing to it for the chance of this sensation occurring again.
For a few moments, nobody around said anything, but as the conversations around started picking back up, the freshly arrived pegasus cleared her throat.
-So - she said - since we are going to spend quite a bit of time with each other in this romantic lighting, how about we introduce ourselves?
She looked around with a friendly smile to see if anyone has anything against it. The unicorn didn't say anything, but might have had the facial expression of a pony who just got kicked in the stomach. Might have - it was too dark to know for sure.
-Sure - replied Maud, with a voice perfectly devoid of enthusiasm. She then went on to stare at the pegasus with her face equally lacking of any hints of support for her idea.
-I'll start then! - she continued, louder than necessary, thrown off a bit by their reaction - My name is Rain Shadow and I'm going to visit my family in Galloping Brooks! And you? - she pointed to the unicorn with an encouraging smile.
-Uh - he groaned. He looked to around in a desperate search for help. Unfortunately, the only other ponies around were either asleep, or Maud, and the dark interior of the train car offered little in terms of a distractions. He let out a resigned sigh and reluctantly introduced himself - My name is Red Beryl. Friends sometimes call me Bixi. I am going to attend Rok-kon in High Haven - he sounded tense, but he still managed to deliver the joke about having friends perfectly. He quickly turned to Maud, as if he was playing social hot potato.
-I'm Maud Pie - she said - You might know my sister Pinkie. I am barely containing my excitement about getting to attend my favorite convention, the Rok-kon.
-Look at you, making friends before even getting there! - Rain Shadow clapped her hooves together - I assume this isn't the first time for either of you?
-Yes, I've been to one before, two years ago. I wanted to go last year too, but something came up and I couldn't… - Bixi hung his head low.
-Aww that's too bad. And how about...
-I've been to all of them - Maud interrupted her.
-All thirteen of them?! - Bixi's eyes widened.
-All fourteen - Maud replied - They started counting at zero - Bixi's eyes and mouth all turned into the digits she's just mentioned when she said that - I assume this isn't the first time you're visiting your family?
-No, no it isn't - Rain Shadow chuckled - I visit them a couple times every year for as long as I can remember. But I only started noticing you con goers like four years ago.
-Rok-kon has been growing faster than stalagmites in a limestone cave under a river - replied Maud very poetically.
-Wow - was all Rain Shadow had to say. Despite Maud simplifying the matter significantly, that mountain of a metaphor flew right over her head - Can you tell me why that is? I don't want to be rude but I really can't imagine anything interesting somepony could do there? - she looked at both of them and quickly realized just how rude she'd just been - I mean, maybe if you tell me what your favorite parts are, I'll be compelled to come over next year? How about you start, Maud? - she turned her head towards her, relieved she saved the situation.
-My favorite - replied Maud, but not before all of that relief evaporated from Rain Shadow's mind - are the quizzes.
Seeing the surprise on Rain Shadow's face and already recognizing that Maud is unlikely to elaborate, Red Beryl took over:
-Rok-kon has almost ten different quiz panels! - he sounded different than the first time he spoke, his enthusiasm for the matter was very clear - They start at simple ones for little fillies, where all you have to do is guess whether a rock is sedimentary, igneous or metamorphic. Other get more difficult as you have to be more and more accurate. For the master quizzes, you can't do certain things when identifying the rock. The hardest one only lets the participants smell and taste the rocks. They can also listen to the sound of somepony else hitting the rock with a wooden hammer
-It's actually a gentle tap - interrupted Maud.
-Well, I don't know, I just read the description and decided it's not really my thing - admitted Bixi - So I just went to wander the vendor area instead. I still had some bits left...
-Wait a second - it took Rain Shadow a moment to fully realize they were serious - First thing, that's gross. Second thing, how can you even recognize a rock by tasting OR smelling it?!
-First - Maud answered - the rocks are washed in special rock cleaning solutions, created specifically for the purpose of the quiz. They do not harm the rocks or the ponies who might ingest them. You can smell what kind of liquid was used for cleaning. Or taste the salts that are in the rock. Or use your tongue to check its structure - she turned her head towards the dark window - I prefer it to looking - she added after a pause.
Having heard all of that, the pegasus started to not feel very well on her stomach. A rock is a rock, and no amount of scrubbing and bathing will make it clean enough to, by the sound of it, lick them like they are rock candy or something similar. She quickly tried to change the subject.
-How about you, Red Beryl? What is your favorite?
-Oh, Celestia, I don't know! There's so much I guess the quizzes were cool - as he said that something did an acrobatic flip inside of Rain Shadow. She almost managed to hide it on the outside. Almost - I really liked the volcano panel, even though I didn't really learn anything new from it. The rock concert was surprisingly fun, I don't usually like such loud noises... The food stalls had some delicious and exotic stuff... What else - he muttered - Oh! I know! - he raised his hoof in triumph - it has to be the cosplayers!
-What - Rain Shadow, whose head was still full of visions of blind folded ponies very methodically licking exotically colored rocks, struggled to imagine what Rok-kon cosplayers would look like - What do they cosplay as? - she was so desperate to get rid of the mental image of rock 'tasting' she suddenly became very interested in anything else anypony ever did. Anywhere, anytime.
-Well - said Bixi, blushing a little - there was this one pegasus who dressed as white marble last time I was there. She had such beautiful wings... - his eyes became empty for a moment as he daydreamed - I almost asked her about her name! - he added proudly.
-Her name's Heavy Cloud - said Maud, still staring into the window - She’s gypsum this year.
Bixi looked at her and his ears perked up as she spoke the name, but as soon as he heard 'gypsum' he looked down with a really conflicted expression on his face.
-Sedimentary - he muttered to himself - Oh well - he said louder, raising his head back up - I'm sure she can make it work!
-I'm sure she will - assured him Rain Shadow, still fighting against the nightmares of unconventional rock identification - You said you went to the vendor area. What can you buy there? T-shirts? - she said and looked at his shirt.
-You can get shirts there - he said dismissively, not noticing her look - but mostly the place was full of the craziest possible applications of rocks, gems, and minerals imaginable. I can tell you what I brought this year, if you want an example - he offered with a coy smile.
-Sure! - encouraged him Rain Shadow.
Red Beryl straightened his back, cleared his throat and started talking with a much more confident voice than before. His pride made him sound like a skilled speaker. This either wasn't the first time he told this to somepony, or just not the first time he has ever said it out loud.
-I've been working on this little project for a couple of months. I used some ancient unicorn magic to attune a cluster of almandines to emotions.
-Emotions?!
-Yes! - as he spoke, his confidence grew slowly and he ascended into lecturing - I found this old book my mom bought before I was born and read about emotion magic in there. Most of it was super complicated stuff about affecting the emotional state of ponies depending on their age, gender, race, social position, eye color, natural mane style and preference in ice cream, but the part about just sensing them was pretty straightforward. So I decided to make a little 'thing' that would use gems, specifically almandines, as they were mentioned in the book as very fitting for that task, to show emotions with the objectivity only magic can provide. It turned out the attuning part was the easiest. It was finding enough compatible gems and testing out all of the emotions that took the longest.
-What emotions are we talking about? - to her own surprise, Rain Shadow was genuinely interested.
-The book said the five basic emotions are: anger, fear, joy, sadness and surprise.
-Surprise?
-Quite surprising, isn't it - he smiled in the characteristic 'I've made this joke too many times' way - It's the neutral emotion caused by the unexpected. Its beauty is in how self- explanatory it is. I told you about this emotion, and here you are feeling it as a result! Of course, surprise is usually combined with the other emotions, but that depends on what caused the surprise. But being told about the existence of the emotion is a pure surprise, as you don't really feel any particular way about it, it was merely unexpected. But I wasn't really sure about surprise at the start so I decided to work on it last. I started with joy, which has to be the most common emotion in Equestria. As I said, the attuning magic wasn't really that complex, testing and adjusting the glow resulting from the emotion being detected was the real challenge. I quickly realized testing for joy is really hard, as I would only really feel it after the test was a success, and I had to feel it for the test to succeed, a textbook paradox. Same would be true for surprise probably, I would be really surprised if it worked first try for example. I really should have started with any of the other three, it would be really easy to feel them before the spells started working. I'm sure I'm not the only one getting angry, or sad, when the thing they are working on isn't working. And don't even get me started on fear...
His monologue was interrupted by familiar woosh and blinding light pouring in through the train's windows. Rain Shadow has found herself with her mouth slightly ajar. She never thought about emotions in that way before and now her mind was ever so slightly blown off its hinges.
-Wow. Time flies by when you talk about interesting stuff - she said. Everywhere in sight ponies were peeking through windows and looking at each other surprised - It seems I am not the only feeling like the tunnel got shorter recently - she added, raising an eyebrow.
Thrown off by the surprisingly early end of the cozy mood, the ponies in the train car were slow to pick up their conversations. Red Beryl was trying to remember where he ended his story, Rain Shadow was thinking about a witty joke about the shrinking tunnel to tell her family in Galloping Brooks. And Maud? Maud was looking out the window, at the solid wall of ancient, moss-covered tree trunks outside. There really was nothing interesting to see out there.
A minute or two had passed, when the door towards the end of the train burst open and a pegasus in a conductor's uniform started flying up the car. Even though flying inside the train required some impressive wing gymnastics, it was still much faster and easier than climbing up the train, even though at the moment the incline inside was nowhere near close the steepest it gets on The Slide. And going outside is probably illegal when the train is in motion so don't even think about it.
As soon as he reached the doors on the opposite end, a second conductor appeared in the ones he just came through, a whizzing earth pony with an impressive mustache glistening with droplets of sweat, making his way up the train slower with each step. Despite barely being able to breathe after galloping up the mountain for over half of the train's length, he still had enough strength to huff out a quiet 'Stop the train!' every couple steps. The eyes of everypony in the train followed him with strange fascination as he traversed its length.
The moment he reached the top door, a loud scream could be heard through them, coming from the front of the train: 'We've been robbed!' It traveled down the train with an accompanying echo of shocked gasps. Seconds later, the train ground to a halt with a loud screech. The journey to Rok-kon just got significantly longer.
Chapter 2
Maud Pie walked slowly into the tiny office. As the door closed behind her, it cut off the hum of many conversations held with little regard for the severity of the situation. The Emerald Pines Police station hasn't been this busy in quite a while. And probably never before has it been so full of oddly dressed ponies coming from all over Equestria, many of whom were so excited to finally meet their friends, in a lot of cases for the first time since a year ago, that they practically forgot the traumatic experience they just had and acted in ways, that, while varying wildly, could all be described as inappropriate for the situation.
The train robbery that has taken place no more than an hour before had to be one of the more mysterious ones to ever be committed. Two entire luggage cars have vanished into thin air inside the tunnel. The tunnel and the surrounding area have been searched thoroughly and nowhere has there been even a hint of the stolen belongings or cars, or them being moved anywhere. The rails in the mountains do not branch, so they couldn't have been just pulled away somewhere. No magic has been felt by anypony on the train or in the town, and it would have been noticed if someone used it to hide such a huge object.
Baffled, the entire local police force, consisting of just seven part time volunteers, has resorted to documenting what was stolen while waiting for reinforcements. They were about to have the longest day in their lives.
One of those part time volunteers was sitting at a desk in front of Maud Pie. An older stallion, with a large mustache very efficiently obscuring his lips, making it hard to tell his mood. On the desk in front of him laid a single sheet of paper, which he was skimming through quickly as Maud entered. He finished before she reached his desk and put the document he was reading on a small pile of papers on his right. Then, from a stack to his left, so high it could have been a part of a Tartarean punishment, he grabbed a fresh one.
-Please sit down - he said, pointing to the chair in front of the desk, not even bothering to raise his head to look at whoever he was speaking to.
Maud, being herself, took quite some time to get onto the chair, impersonating all the best things a tectonic drift has to offer. But mostly the speed. Pretty much just the speed actually, seeing how no new continents were formed.
Despite the station being as busy as it was, the office was disturbingly quiet. The sound must have been magically dampened to facilitate interrogations, a feature that probably has been of no use to anypony using the room until today. The only sounds in the office were the axiomatic ticking of the clock on the wall, reminding the poor officer of the constantly contrarian nature of time, the quill scratching the paper as he was writing down the date and his name on it and the hoofsteps of Maud spaced so far apart, the illusion of time slowing down has reached its all time high.
Sergeant Blueberry Strudel, his name clearly visible to anypony interested on the door of his office, was the local baker, who used the free time a pony of his profession would have in a town as small as Emerald Pines to help the local law enforcement forces. Everypony knew old Blueberry and his delicious pies, and he knew most of them too, which is enough to be a perfect police officer in a town with practically no crime and only occasional issues that need help from officials. Most of his time on duty has so far consisted of naps that compensated for the sleep lost due to having to deliver baked goods for a town's worth of breakfasts every morning.
And now, faced by dozens of ponies he has never seen before and will probably never see again, Blueberry Strudel has embarked on a journey of self-discovery. First of all, he discovered he absolutely hates paperwork. Secondly, he learned that when confronted by a lot of paperwork, he becomes a philosopher. As time went on, his thoughts would gravitate towards more and more bizarre ideas regarding the perception of time in an environment deprived of joy. Last, and probably most relevant to the outside world, he discovered he is really prejudiced against outsiders. The normally jolly and friendly Blueberry, whose presence would often be considered the only upside in cases where he had to assist anyone while performing his duties as a police officer, turned into a passive aggressive, mean, grumpy old pony with no regard for the feelings of others. But don't take my word for it. See how he handles Maud.
Speaking of her, the chair has just announced her long awaited sit down with a creek, which sounded loud only because of how silent the room was. Officer Blueberry cleared his throat, with his sight still glued to the form in front of him, he began the 'interrogation'.
-Alright - he said, trying to sound as professional as possible - I will now ask you a number of questions you should answer truthfully. The information gathered will be confidential and only used to solve the crime that has taken on The Slide this morning and, if applicable, to return any stolen belongings to you. Do you understand?
He looked up at Maud for the first time. She looked back at him the same way she has done ever since she was born. They locked eyes for several units of time, the perception of which differed drastically between them. But let's not get into that now. Sergeant Blueberry reached deep into his reserves of self-discipline and broke the impasse.
-I am going to need a verbal confirmation before we can proceed, miss - he said, his inner struggles successfully hidden below a thin layer of professionalism.
-Yes - Maud replied, her will to cooperate buried under a layer of stoicism thicker than the planet's mantle.
He twitched, causing his mustache to move like a butterfly about to set aflight, but quickly decided that that was confirmation enough to continue.
-I'll also need your signature on this form after we're done, but let's not worry about that now. Let's start with the questions - he adjusted the paper in front of him - your first name?
-Maud.
-Last name?
-Pie.
-Any middle names?
-Multiple.
The pony naming conventions varied wildly depending on regions, families and even time of the year, and as such even the 'Last Name' field on the form would sometimes cause trouble. Blueberry Strudel sighed and just put a line through the field meant for middle names. No point writing them down if the pony doesn't care to give them to the police. After sacrificing a moment to think about how rarely he gets to bake or eat blueberry strudels, he moved onto the next section.
-Alright - he said. So far so good - What is your current occupation?
-I am a rock expert - at that moment, Maud's face was very specifically not showing any pride. Officer Blueberry, who wasn't into the subtleties of absent facial expressions, rolled his eyes. It wasn't the first time he heard that today, and he had a feeling it wasn't the last either.
-Un-em-ploy-ed - he syllabicated under his breath, loud enough for anypony to hear, but quiet enough to be able to dismiss any accusations. He smiled under his mustache. Again, it wasn't the first time this has happened, and nopony said anything yet. Nowhere near to make up for the hours he was going to spend sitting at that desk, but a little fun nonetheless.
-Where are you traveling from? - he swiftly moved on.
-Pie Family Rock Farm.
-And what station is that?
-Pie Family Rock Farm - Maud was adamant.
Officer Blueberry rubbed his nose, took a deep breath and leaned on the desk to look down at Maud.
-Look, Miss Pie, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the train you came on does not stop on such a station. I'm pretty sure no train does.
-They do if I need them to.
This has finally… well, not awoken, but disturbed the inner detective of Blueberry Strudel. He's been napping in the back so far, and now he kicked in his sleep. Or maybe he fell of his chair and was now laying on the floor, drooling and snoring. Regardless, this godmother like talk has spiked his suspicion. It got him thinking, if you are feeling generous.
So far, the mare in front of him was acting rather suspiciously all things considered. Unclear statement regarding honesty, holding back on giving the full name, an extremely nondescript address, a fake job? Combined with a complete lack of any emotion? Everypony knows it's easier to show nothing than to act convincingly…
But on the other hoof, would a criminal capable of vanishing half of a train while it’s in motion commit such rookie mistakes? No way. She must just be one of those weird ponies who don't know how to act around strangers. And train drivers have friends too, maybe her family really has a deal with somepony that lets them get the train to stop near their farm whenever they need it?
He caught himself staring into her eyes again, with his mouth slightly ajar no less. Her face looked so empty, as she stared back at him completely motionless, he felt like he is being sucked into the empty void that was behind it. Despite sitting in a chair quite comfortably, (he did not remember sitting back down after raising earlier) he felt like he was falling.
He shook his head to get rid of the feeling that gravity has changed its pull to be parallel to the ground and pointing right into Maud's eyes and looked back at the form in front of him, seeking support from it. And support it provided, letting him know he was doing the thing he recently learned he hated the most and wasting time thinking about nonsense.
He shrugged, and wrote down what she told him before. Luckily he still remembered what it was, otherwise it would have been really embarrassing, having to ask her again after staring at her with his mouth open for Celestia only knows how long.
-And you're going to…? - He asked as if nothing happened.
-The Rok-kon.
-Full duration and then back home?
She nodded once in response. He nodded back slowly as he wrote her answer down. He could feel his mind rattling inside his head, as if it was a fistful of shattered glass. The day was only starting and his mind was already completely broken, thanks to Miss Maud Pie and her laconic responses. Disturbing the peace of mind of a police officer on duty in such a major way should be illegal.
-Alright - he said, once again wrestling his mind away from unrelated matters - Last thing. - and possibly the worst, he thought to himself - Did any of your belongings get stolen today? And if yes, please describe them in detail - who knows what she could be hauling to that convention. Blueberry has had some crazy stuff described to him in this room in the last hour. And in terrifying detail too! It’s one thing to collect rocks, another thing to arrange them in a specific, and seemingly illogical order, and another thing completely to remember every single detail about every single characteristic of said rocks, down to their exact chemical composition, with precision up to five decimal places. He braced for impact.
-No - seeing how his eyes widened to dangerous size even for a pony, she added - I've got all my stuff here - she patted a small saddle bag she had on.
Well, maybe some of those weirdos aren't crazy hoarders with literal tons of stuff traveling with them, thought Blueberry and breathed a huge sigh of relief while putting lines into the empty space on the form as he was instructed to do almost two decades ago, when he first started volunteering. He was almost done with her.
-Great! - he said, genuinely happy, partially for her, but mostly for himself - Last thing I've got to ask you is, is there anypony we can contact in case you are unreachable? We probably won't need to, but it can't hurt.
-Hmm - Maud put her hoof to her chin in a very theatrical gesture. This made Sergeant Blueberry panic a little. What if this mare was actually an actress, who was just playing a role all this time and they'll have to go through the whole procedure again filling out her real data? Oh Celestia! But before he started pulling his hair out she said - I guess my sister Pinkie Pie in Ponyville could be trusted with that.
-Pinkie Pie is your sister?! - he exclaimed in shock. Everypony knows Pinkie! And them being related explained a lot. He didn't know she had a sister but seeing how she was just as weird, only in a completely different way, it made perfect sense - How's she doing? - Suddenly Maud Pie wasn't a stranger anymore. He could feel his mind reassembling itself as the world started to make sense again. The sound of unshattering mind matter was almost audible in the room.
-She's being herself - There might have been a hint of fondness in her voice.
-I guess that's the best way to put it - Blueberry laughed, writing down 'Pinkie Pie' on the side of the form. He didn't feel like adding any balloons - Well, that's us done here. I hope you have a nice day, despite what happened in the morning.
Maud nodded and started walking out. Every single of her steps screamed 'How are you doing this Pinkie?' The phrase 'everypony knows Pinkie Pie' has reached a new high today. Literally, considering the altitude of this town.
Right outside the door, Maud bumped into Rain Shadow. No surprise considering the queue was ordered, more or less, based on the order of sitting inside the train, starting from the engine.
-Hi again, Maud! - she said - I see you managed to get done with this quickly too - she paused briefly, but quickly realized who she was talking to and kept speaking - I've been to this town before a couple years back. Not much to see here really, but they served great pancakes not far from here. You wanna go grab some?
-I'd love too - Maud replied, looking her right in the eyes.
They were in a small corridor, with an array of doors on both sides leading to small rooms just like the one Maud had just left. As they started to walk towards the main hall of the police station, where a long line of waiting ponies ended( or started, depending on how you look at it), two ponies walked into the corridor, one of whom exchanged a friendly nod with Maud. Those barely noticeable gestures of courtesy slipped Rain Shadow's notice, as she was working overtime maintaining their current conversation.
-How was your 'interviewer'- she smirked, happy how well she managed to articulate the quotations - Mine was a bit sleepy.
Querying Maud was a bit like working in a quarry. With each strike, you only get the tiniest bit of rock, but you keep doing it over and over again, either hoping you'll strike gold or for the thrill of possibly causing an avalanche. In a way, a conversation with Maud Pie was not only hard work, but also an extreme sport. And pegasi love extreme sports. Some even are ok with working hard!
-Mine seemed unstable - being Maud was a bit like having a lot of family members overseas and having to mail them presents. You want to pack as much meaning into a package as tiny as possible to avoid massive shipping costs without offending anyone. If it can fit into an envelope and still makes them happy, you did a good job. If you count the words to meaning ratio, Maud was one of the best speakers to ever live. If the percentage of meaning the listener understood is taken into account however, she was rock bottom in the rankings. Just the way she likes it.
Immediately outside the corridor the queue started, snaking out through the entrance and off into the distance. Four ponies away from entering the corridor stood Bixi. He was fourth when Rain Shadow entered, but a couple of ponies managed to maneuver their way in front of him, claiming they are in a hurry. Bixi spend the time performing a mental exercise of trying to think of what they could be in a hurry to do. So far the only thing he could think of was 'not being in a queue'. A careful examination of the town would have to be conducted for the exercise to yield additional results.
-Ah, look who's still here! - said Rain Shadow while walking up to him - We must have been there even shorter than I thought!
-What do you even do there? - Bixi did not have an encounter with the police before, and was continuously getting more nervous as it got closer to being his turn. It was quite a roller coaster of emotions for him seeing how often he got cut off. At this point, his eyes were wide and legs were shaking.
-Ah you know, nothing special. They'll ask you your name, address, where you were going and so on - she waved her hoof dismissively - And - she added after a second - they'll obviously ask you what you had on the missing train cars.
Distracted by the important conversation waiting for him right around the corner, fully knowing he is no good at conversations, Bixi almost forgot about his loss. His ears perked up, his face changed in a momentary glimpse of anger as he thought about the ones who did this to him, only to get stopped by reality a moment later. All of his body flopped down, with all of the emotional qualities of a deflating balloon.
-Five months of my life were in there - he muttered.
Surprised by how hard it hit him, Rain Shadow didn't know what to do at first. Her friend instinct kicked in quickly though, and soon enough she had her front leg around his neck.
-Don't worry - she said reassuringly- If you describe your… uh…
-Attuned almandines.
-Yeah, those. Thanks Maud. I'm sure they'll find them in no time, if you describe them as well as you did it to me, with maybe a bit more focus on the appearance. And maybe skip the name, just tell them what it is.
-You sure they'll find it if I do that? - Bixi raised his head, tears welling up in his eyes.
-I am! - she answered, putting in all the confidence she could find in herself - Listen, me and Maud were going to get some pancakes a bit further up the main street. You should come join us once you're done and tell us how it went. Something sweet is sure to cheer you up!
-O-ok- he stuttered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath - I'll see you there - he said with much more confidence.
-Great! We should get going Maud, no need to make this place any more crowded than it already is.
She started leaving, stopping after a couple steps to look back at Maud, who took that time to look around and judge exactly how crowded the place was. She decided that a single orderly line and an occasional passing pony or two is hardly too much for the police station to handle, but made no comment.
***
Only a couple dozen ponies managed to free themselves from the snaking coils of the queue so far, most of whom were still hanging around the little plaza in front of the Emerald Pines' police station. The Rok-kon attendees gathered into smaller or larger groups, with most of them either looking up into the sky or staring straight into the ground. No, they were not avoiding eye contact, they were either admiring the rocky mountains or the stones the town's main street was paved with. One or two enterprising locals were going around serving refreshments to the ponies in the line. They quickly realized that shouting and making an overall strong impression on a potential customer had an effect opposite to the one they intended for, as many of those waiting went silent and forgot about all of their needs when someone was invading their personal space, even if only with their voice, effectively making it impossible to sell anything to them.
Despite the Rockers (as they are sometimes called, if the need for a name arises) not being the loudest of ponies, or even ponies one would ever call lively, this was the busiest this usually tranquil place has been. Even the oldest citizens of Emerald Pines were in agreement about that being the case. It was also the first time in history they ever agreed on something, but nobody pushed their luck as far as asking them if they are willing to agree with that statement as well.
Here's another interesting fact about this whole situation: nopony told anypony to actually form a queue. All that was said was they were all required to come by the police station so that the crime that took place can be documented properly. And since almost everypony on the train was eager to register for a convention, a line has formed practically on its own. An impressive display of crowd instinct. Who knew crowds had muscle memory?
All this fascinating stuff has slipped Rain Shadow's notice however, as she realized she actually didn't remember anything from her visit in this town other than the pancakes she had. In particular, she had no clue where she had them. She combed through her memories as she walked up the main street. She recalled flying along the street, as it was a quite steep uphill climb and no sane pegasus would ever walk rather than fly in such a situation, if they could ever avoid it. Which she couldn't do right now, as she was accompanied by Maud Pie, who walked at a snail’s pace. A pace, that, apart from being a really uncreative metaphor, made one not save any energy by flying, no matter how steep the road is. The one other thing she remembered was that the pancakes were delicious and came with a staggering selection of toppings, a piece of information that was not only not helpful at all, but also made it much harder to focus for her hungry self.
As they went further away from the crowd, Rain Shadow started to get a little nervous. Every single building seemed effectively the same to her. It was as if every single one was built, or designed, by the same pony, something not out of the realm of possibility in a town this size. Similar in size and color, devoid of any street signs or numbers, they offered little information to an outsider. And being from a similar town herself, Rain Shadow knew well how annoying strangers can get. Every single one of them asking for directions to the same place, when the only answer you could possibly give is 'Go along the only street there is, you can't miss it'.
So she went along and, shockingly, didn't miss it. Above the door of one of the buildings there was a sign. It consisted of a wooden pole, with 'THE' carved in it, and a pan attached to the pole with two short chains. On the pan the word "CAKE' was painted.
-Celestia have mercy on us - Rain Shadow said to herself - It's a pan pun.
-Stupendous - commented Maud.
Rain Shadow looked at her, with a raised eyebrow. Maud turned to her and explained:
-I found that me commenting very positively on jokes and puns tends to strengthen the effect they have on ponies.
-I guess it does - Rain Shadow smiled, impressed by Maud's conversational prowess - Let's go inside, I'm starving.
Chapter 3
The Pancake did not serve exclusively pancakes, but they were definitely its main source of income and were widely agreed to be the best item on the menu. Nopony in Emerald Pines ever made pancakes. Why would they, if they could just go to The Pancake and buy much better ones. Soon, The Pancakes chef will be the only pony in town knowing how to make pancakes, making the two generation long plot to monopolize the pancake industry in Emerald Pines a success.
Even the interior design of the place seemed to be pancake themed. Light wooden walls and furniture, round tables and chairs with round seats, paintings depicting exclusively flat, circular objects, round windows looking at the back yard with a round pond (no fish in it, presumably due to round fish being too hard to come by). The candelabras hanging from the ceiling were actually cartwheels with candles on them. Even the plates were flat and round, if you can believe such a thing.
In preparation for the inevitable wave of hungry, involuntary tourists, the owners called in all friends and family, who were adding tables to the back yard and scouring the town in search of eggs, milk, flour and sugar, but otherwise the place was very quiet, with not a single table taken yet. A calm before the storm no doubt.
Keeping in mind Bixi was supposed to look for them soon, Rain Shadow picked a table right in front of the entrance. Mere seconds after they took their seats a young female unicorn with her hair braided into a ponytail and tiny flour freckles all over her face, came over and said cheerfully:
-Hello and welcome to The Pancake! - she gave them menus - We have the best pancakes under Celestia's reign, but we also have a full lunch menu, if you'd like something else - She smiled at them. If the other sings weren't present, one could tell by how genuine and energetic she was that the cataclysm was yet to strike this place. Nopony can stay this happy and innocent after serving pancakes to a significant part of a convention. Even with everypony coming in slowly due to the queue, it's going to be quite an endurance run. Rain Shadow, who worked some shifts at her aunt's candy and souvenir store when entire trips of little fillies came in, was happy that she got to experience this pony before all of that takes its toll on her.
-It'll be pancakes - Rain Shadow said, abandoning her apocalyptic visions. She glimpsed at the menu, saw that they still served what she had the last time she was there and said - The Chef's Special for me.
All the menu said about the Special was that it is 'The best thing you ever had and more'. If Rain Shadow’s memory served her right, that was a rather accurate description, at least when it comes to pancakes.
-Great! And for you? - the waitress asked Maud.
-Same, but double - Maud didn't even bother looking at the menu, or the pony asking, instead she was playing with her pet rock by pushing it in circles on the table. Inexplicably, it seemed like she was trying to catch it and it was escaping her grasp.
-I don't know miss, The Special is really big...
-Yeah Maud, if I remember right that would be larger than some fillies when they get their cutie marks.
Maud looked up at them and said:
-I could eat a Caledonian mountain.
Having no response to that, and not exactly feeling like discouraging someone ordering more, the waitress cut any potential discussion by smiling even wider asking:
-Anything else?
-Nope, we're good.
-Great! - the waitress noticed Maud was back to playing with her rock and didn't bother asking her separately - We are working at one hundred percent right now so your orders should be ready in just a couple of minutes - she said, striking a very official looking pose. Rain Shadow has never seen somepony this proud of a quickly made stack of pancakes. At least not before the pony who is making said stack even knew they were going to make it.
As the waitress trotted away happily, Rain Shadow took a look around. She had a couple of minutes to kill, with an empty stomach aggravated by the perspective of soon to be consumed food and the characteristic smell a place like this wouldn't be able to get rid of in a million years, and the only distraction being a very one sided conversation with Maud. Unfortunately a quick survey of her surroundings presented no alternatives to trying to chat with Maud; The Pancake had no customers, as all of the locals fled to avoid the hungry tourists, and all the tables and other furniture were cleaned to a shine, offering no food for thought.
Starved in more ways than one, she turned back to Maud, who was still playing with Boulder, stoically pushing him around the space where, hopefully soon, her plate will be. The characteristic sound of stone scratching on polished wood, joined after a moment by the sizzling of pancake batter, has launched her back to her childhood, to a moment where a silly game involving rocks has caused her to be as hungry as she felt right now.
Longer ago than she would like it to be, little Rain and a bunch of her friends were practicing throwing rocks at a target. And there probably wouldn't be any problem with that, if they weren't a group of pegasi throwing rocks at a cloud, which one of them sculpted into a proper target. They even calculated that most of their projectiles should hit a bare rock wall, hurting nopony. What they didn't consider, was that the stones they launched would bounce of the wall, chipping it and shattering themselves, bombarding old Thunderclop's house with something only a little short of an avalanche.
As a punishment they had to clean his house, and they wouldn't get to eat before they did. The house was a mess even without their help, so she went to bed hungry and exhausted that day. She swept rock shards and pebbles from the floor for hours...
-Who ordered the single special? - a voice asked.
Rain Shadow shook her head.
-That would be me - she said. She got so lost in her memories she could almost feel her neck hurt from all that work. And she absolutely felt the gut twisting hunger. As soon as the pony placed her plate in front of her, she took a large bite from it, leaned back in her chairs with her eyes closed to enjoy to the taste and savor the feeling of quickly dissipating stomach pain.
Meanwhile the pony who served her said to Maud:
-The Double will take a bit longer, but I promise it's worth the wait, you know.
-It's fine - Maud was ready to wait for the mountain she said she could eat to come to her - It should take twice as long.
Rain Shadow opened her eyes and what she saw confirmed her suspicions. Unless the waitress aged several decades since she took their order, the pony who served the same order was a close relative of hers. She looked almost exactly the same, had a very similar voice and a very similar, though a bit more worn out, smile. She turned back to Rain Shadow and asked:
-So, how are you liking our little specialty?
-It's even better than I remembered.
-Oh, so you were here before? - Rain Shadow confirmed with a single nod and she continued - It's such a shame what happened to you, you know. Is it true that half of the train has been stolen without anypony noticing?
-I see the rumor train is going full steam ahead already - Rain Shadow said with a smile - Surprisingly, that's not that far from the truth. Two carriages full of baggage were stolen inside the tunnel and nopony noticed until the train saw the light of day again.
-Oh goodness, that's awful! So many things went missing in that tunnel lately I knew something crazy must have happened to have everypony talking about it again, you know. Old Granny Heckletrott didn’t get her shipment of apples earlier this month and...
-Wait - Rain Shadow raised an eyebrow - you're saying this isn't the first time things were stolen from the train?
-Oh no. Bags and suitcases have been disappearing in there for months, you know.
-And the police aren't doing anything about it?
-They were, you know - she waved her hoof dismissively - But nothing they did helped. Until now everyone was sure it was a gang of pegasi lifting the bags from the train, you know, since they vanished without a trace every time. I don't know how many pegasi it takes to lift a train car, but I don't think that theory holds any water anymore, you know.
-Yeah, I can see why you'd think that - Rain Shadow pondered for a moment - I assume none of the stolen baggage was found?
-I'm afraid that is the truth - the pony frowned - If your things were taken and you can't pay for the food we can work something out, you know.
-Thank you, we are fine luckily. But I know someone who lost something very dear to him...
At that point a pony walked by her, carrying a plate so stacked with pancakes and other goodness only an earth pony could have even lifted it. As he entered Maud's field of view, Rain Shadow thought she almost noticed a small spark of emotion in her eyes, not enough to even be sure it was there, let alone tell what it was, but a spark nonetheless.
After setting the plate down in front of Maud, the pony wiped the sweat of his brow and said:
-Unfortunately I don't get to make The Double Special very often, so every time I do make it I am surprised with its size. Remember - he added looking straight at Maud - there's no shame in not eating all of it. You really don't want to regret ordering this - he smiled.
Maud looked at him, her eyes not ones to know regret, and simply started eating. The pony, having served thousands of meals in his life, recognized she doesn't want to talk, wished them a good day and turned around to walk away.
-Honey, let's let them eat in peace - he said to the other pony.
-Of course, of course, but I haven't asked them about the thing yet, you know.
-Do it quick then - he replied, rolling his eyes - I think I spotted more customers through the window.
-Sure, sure - she said and turned towards Rain Shadow - I actually meant to ask you about my niece. She's the one who took your orders - she clarified, seeing a confused expression on Rain Shadow's face - it's her first time helping us, you know.
-Really? She was really well prepared then. The only reason I could tell she was new to this is her smile. It was like I was her friend, you know? But I'm sure she'll learn.
The pony didn't know how to respond to such feedback and just stood there trying to think of something to say for a moment, but luckily for her, she was quickly bailed out by somepony calling for her from the kitchen. She smiled and said:
-Have a good one, you know.
She nodded at Rain Shadow and then at Maud and started to walk away when Maud said:
-I know.
The pony's face blanked for a moment as her mind hung up on Maud's claim to knowledge, but it was quickly dismissed as she smiled and trotted away to the kitchen. She also has worked in this business for quite a few years and learned how to handle a tough customer. And in this case it meant letting them handle themselves.
Left alone, the two hungry ponies went ahead and started eating. Sitting opposite each other at a round table, with their mouths constantly full, they had no choice but to stare at each other or into their plates. Maud elected to do the latter, and began to systematically empty her plate at the pace of a moving glacier, which is the fastest speed you'll never notice.
On the other side of the table Rain Shadow decided to see, if the way Maud eats matches up with everything else she has learned about her so far. You can learn a lot about a person by the way they perform such mundane tasks as consuming food, and besides, you can ask any granny and they'll tell you watching someone enjoy their meal can be much more enjoyable than having said meal yourself. Though Rain Shadow did not feel like becoming an old lady just yet and wanted to enjoy eating herself as well.
The way Maud Pie ate might be the closest thing to a cosmic constant in this world, where all of the movements in space are effectively dependent on the quality of an alicorns alarm clock. She worked in cycles, each one a perfect replica of the others - first she would lower her head to take a bite, start chewing as her head raised back to the default position and lower it again as she was ready to swallow, which occurred somewhere along the way. None of that happened too quickly however, and the majestic pace of the entire process made it easy for ponies around her to perceive what was happening as a force of nature at work, slowly eroding a serving of food, especially as the states the food found itself in between sometimes looked bizarrely akin to the works of wind or flowing water, twisted and held in place by some mysterious, difficult to comprehend forces.
Rain Shadow found herself almost hypnotized, quickly discovering, that the certainty that each time Maud began to chew, she will stop doing after exactly the same amount of time, with the jaw movements being perfectly identical, makes her feel relaxed and, in some weird, mystic way, protected. The slow, repetitive movements entranced her, somehow making this not only the best pancakes she ever had, but also the best time she ever had eating anything. Trying to match the rhythm of Maud, her heart slowed down and her muscles relaxed. Without noticing, she slouched in her seat, the comforting sight of The Perfect Eater combined with large intake of sugar making her feel warm and fuzzy inside. She was as close to falling asleep at the table as it is possible in the middle of eating a massive stack of pancakes herself.
Similarly, Maud seemed to be completely lost in the process of eating, not changing her pace as the only thing that could stop her, which was the food running out, slowly crept closer and closer.
But Rain Shadow was not allowed to experience what happens when the unstoppable force of Maud meets the immovable object of nothing, as a group of chatting ponies walked in through The Pancakes main door. Their conversations, and, luckily incomprehensible, jokes pierced the bubble of peace and quiet that has formed around Rain Shadow's head, making her jump up to sit straight again and look around slightly confused. Their arrival also reminded her that they were in fact waiting for somepony, so, squinting slightly due to inexplicably feeling like she has just woken up, she began to scan the newly arrived group for familiar faces.
Fortunately, the group quickly dispersed, splitting into groups of three and four, and taking over the far corner of the restaurant. As they went away, Rain Shadow spotted the pony she was looking for. A unicorn trying to look as small as possible, with his ears laid back and looking nervously around, growing more and more visibly distressed as he wasn't finding what he was looking for. As soon as their eyes met all of that stress disappeared from his appearance, his overwhelming relief visible even in the way he walked over to their table and how happily he rested his behind on the chair next to them.
-So, how did it go, Bixi? - Rain Shadow asked.
Bixi lifted himself back up a little and looked at her, not sure what she meant. His mind was still completely occupied by the hell of being possibly forced to ask for directions in a town currently so crowded with outsiders, most ponies on the street would be as lost as he was, so he would just have to keep asking and making more and more of a fool of himself.
-What did go how? - he asked, trying very hard not to think about the last five minutes of walking along a street, trying not to look lost in case someone wants to help him.
-What were you about to do when we last spoke?
-Oh, right - he said after a spell - It honestly went way better than I expected. Luckily I have a pretty good memory so I could answer all of their questions pretty easily - he smiled coyly - I was a little afraid when he asked me what I had on the stolen train car - he added - but I think I managed to describe it pretty well! The officer didn't ask me any questions and was writing all the time so I'm feeling rather optimistic about this whole thing! It might turn out to be a fun little adventure after all.
-Yeah, sure! - Rain Shadow, being one conversation with the local ponies ahead of him, wasn't so convinced - Speaking of turning this into fun, maybe you'd like to eat something? These pancakes are absolutely amazing! Right, Maud?
Maud was stuck staring at the post-apocalyptic landscape that was occupying the space in front of her. Once lush and capable of feeding multiple ponies, it had been ravaged by some cataclysmic event, left bare and blindingly shiny. A mountain turned into a plain of glass. The scale of destruction was staggering.
-It's great - she said, realizing some input was expected from her.
-See? Even she liked them, and I'm pretty sure there were no rocks in there.
-I don't know - Bixi murmured, while looking over his shoulder at another group entering the restaurant - I think I'll pass, I'd rather be a bit more hungry for these delicacies you're trying to sell me.
-I'm not selling anything. You, however, are missing out on a real treat. A real delicacy, as you've aptly called it - Bixi shook his head slowly, with a weak smile - Ok, ok. What do you want to do then? We have at least a couple of hours before the train leaves and I've already done everything I wanted to do here - she pointed at her empty plate.
-We should go see the tunnel - said Maud almost instantly.
-What tunnel? - Rain Shadow wondered.
-The train tunnel of course - Bixi instantly understood what Maud meant - I'd love to go take a look at it too. You don't get too look at a cross-section of a mountain every day.
-I guess you don't - admitted Rain Shadow - If my sense of direction serves me right, and it is yet to fail me, that path should lead you to the tunnel - she pointed through the back door, where, behind the perfectly circular pond, the forest started and a small clearing was visible.
-And what about you? You're not going with us? - asked Bixi, trace amounts of disappointment detectable in his voice.
-Don't worry, I'll go see the tunnel with you. I don't know why but I kind of want to see it now. But I'm going to fly back to the train station and see how much time we have to spare first. We wouldn't want to miss the train, would we?
-Definitely not! - Bixi shuddered at the very thought of that - We'll get going then. It's not that far away I think, maybe we will manage to get there before you!
-Sure, we can do a little race. Just don't get lost in the forest, I have feeling there won't be too many volunteers willing to search for you.
***
Living in a town where the only tourist attraction is the train station (it reliably attracts tourist for at least as long as it takes the train to depart again), is not only tough, but probably also your fault. With just a tiny bit of creative marketing and applied gossip you can turn even the most mundane landmark into a five star tourist trap. It's not like some pony from Canterlot is going to travel across half of Equestria to visit a town he read about in a tourist guide, see that the fabled "Circle of Featherstones" is literally a bunch of rocks arranged in a circle, and come back home to inform every pony he or she knows about what a scam they were the subject of. No pony from Canterlot would ever admit to getting tricked by a bunch of highlanders, no, they would tell their friends what a great time they had and recommend the trip to them, only to smugly ask them how it was once they inevitably get disappointed too. And nopony wants to admit they didn't like something a friend of theirs recommended they did, so they will pretend they loved it and recommend it to all of their friends in hope of getting some revenge.
But then again, maybe you don't want that type of ponies in your little cozy town. They'll only ever come once, but you might think it's still too much. You might think it's not worth it. You might even be right!
Maud Pie and Red Beryl were walking through the pine forest surrounding the town of Emerald Pines, enjoying the fresh air and the perspective of delving deep into the rock flesh of mountain. The aura of palpable excitement surrounded the two ponies. In the cool shade cast by the mountain, chilling shivers of anticipation were quaking their bodies. This inexplicable agitation demanded elaboration.
-Do you think we'll see anything unusual in there?
-What is unusual?
-Well... - Bixi stuttered - You know, anything interesting.
-Rocks are interesting - Maud stated - We will find rocks in that tunnel.
-Sure...
After a long moment of silence, during which Bixi lost all hope for an 'interesting' conversation with Maud, she continued, as if such pauses were natural.
-It was built using magic, so the builders have already found anything obviously valuable. I do not know of any unusual findings in there, and I would if there were any. However, the walls of the tunnel were cut cleanly, meaning there will be sights of indescribable beauty all around us once we get inside. A unicorn excavator might know how to carve out a tunnel and not make it collapse, but the glamor of slumbering magma, gently tucked in by the tectonic drift after it did its part in shaping Equestria, eludes them. For them, a cluster of iron rich olivine is just a dirty wall. They might respect the force of a million tons of rocks above their heads, but the power equivalent to a billion toiling ponies below their hooves is something they are not only ignorant to, but also unable to comprehend on even the most basic level of elements pressured into forming an involuntary union by the sheer weight of the world surrounding them. How can something that is happening everywhere since the start of time be considered unusual? We are about to enter the most spectacular museum of all time, one that was made by nature itself. We will be admiring the lustre of minerals, the purely incidental patterns formed by millennia of movements so minuscule, our meaningless bodies are absurdly inadequate in comparison. We will be looking at rocks. Rocks are interesting.
The silence after that tirade lasted almost a minute, not even the birds daring to interrupt it.
-Wow - was all Bixi managed to respond with - You sure know how to make someone want to do something. I'm ready to look at rocks!
-Me and my sisters have a thing for manipulation.
They walked a few more steps, when Bixi stopped, looked all around them and said:
-Are you sure we're going the right way? I can't see the train tracks anywhere and all these trees look the same. They're even covered in moss from every side, and the sun is hidden behind the mountain tops, how am I even supposed to know what direction we're heading?!
Maud stopped as well, and for the first time really looked at the trees surrounding them. They were all pines, and their trunks were indeed covered with moss up to the height of several ponies, where the living branches of the trees started. The ground was also covered in the same moss, making the entire landscape look monotone and confusing, as everything as far as the eye could see looked pretty much the same. Considering this was the northern side of a mountain and the sun never directly reached the ground in these parts, the low level of vegetation was not out of the ordinary.
The mare slowly walked to the nearest pine, and looked closely at the moss covering it. She then ran her hoof over it, causing a surprisingly glassy, loud crunching noise. She than raised her hoof to her nose and smelled the bits of moss that stuck to it.
-These are not emeralds - she announced, as confident as always - I smell iron.
-Emeralds are green, not red, so there shouldn't be much iron in them - Bixi agreed - but why would there be any emeralds on the trees here?
-The town is called Emerald Pines. But these look like peridot crystals - the disdain for whoever named the town was so absent from Maud's voice, the remaining void sucked in some of the light from the surrounding area. Or maybe it was just a cloud temporarily obscuring the sun.
-Wait, is this really not moss? - he asked and touched the tree trunk himself. And instantly jumped away - It's sharp!
-Yes, crystals do that sometimes.
-But why are all these trees covered in them? This makes no sense.
-Magic - explained Maud. It almost sounded like she was upset about that being the reason.
-Lame - Bixi shared her sentiment.
They moved on, both quietly wondering what sort of magic anomaly they found themselves in. Soon they found the train tracks, carved into the hill they were walking on. The face of the mountain was clearly visible not far away.
They were getting close to the tunnel. From where they were, it looked like a mouth open in utter shock, the impression only strengthened by two perfectly round holes carved above it symmetrically on its sides, performing the role of eyes open in morbid surprise rather admirably. The sight must have been truly exhilarating every time the train came out of the tunnel.
-There you are! - said Rain Shadow, landing right beside them - I barely made it on time it seems! I forgot how hard it is to fly after a heavy meal - She was breathing heavily and covered in sweat - Let's say I won, considering I could have landed a couple meters further ahead and be there first.
-Won what?
-The little race we were having of course! - her voice sounded odd, as if she was trying really hard to not pant heavily while talking.
-Oh, right. I've kind of forgotten about it - he turned to Maud - We could have won if we didn't spend time looking at peridot moss.
Rain Shadow blinked twice, as her mind decided to discard his statement due to multiple instances of nonsense.
-Let's get going! - she said cheerfully.
A few meters to the right of the tunnel entrance, a small shack leaned against the rocky mountainside. A minuscule building by any means, it was only as wide as its inconspicuous door and stuck out even less from between the rocks. Even with the ground in front of it heavily trodden with fresh hoof prints, it looked all but abandoned with a thick layer of moss on its slanted roof.
Without changing her course, as if she was going there from the very start, Maud headed straight for the shack's door and opened it slowly, causing it to cry out a metallic scream of pain of long atrophied flexibility of its hinges. The little closet was stacked top to bottom with various tools and equipment, be it for maintaining the train tracks, climbing the mountains or picnicking. It had everything a pony visiting these parts could need, including the lamps required to be able to fully appreciate the inside of a mountain. Maud grabbed a lamp for herself and headed towards the tunnel. Bixi soon followed her, levitating one close to his head, but Rain Shadow hesitated, looking worried at the ground.
-I guess these are from the police searching the tunnel earlier?
-Who else would they belong to? - said Bixi over his shoulder - Come Rain, we don't have unlimited time.
-Sure, sure, I'm coming. I just don't want to bump into anypony in a dark tunnel, you know.
The three ponies walked into the gaping mouth of the mountain. The cold darkness swallowed them reluctantly.
Chapter 4
The tunnel piercing the heart of Mount Loom was one of the greatest achievements of Equestrian engineering, stretching several miles and having been carved using exclusively top of the line stone cutting magic. Ever since the connection was established, a gust of wind has been blowing through it, the air flowing upwards with an almost constant speed. There are many theories as to why that's the case. Difference in air pressure, difference in temperatures, inability of changing the air flow first established during the initial breakthrough, magic. Some think it was intentionally created to aid a train's climb up and to slow down any descending ones, another ingenious invention of unicorn engineering. Others claim it's just a local magical phenomenon. The idea, that using the local aura to aid your undertaking is a sign of ingenuity seems to elude some of those.
Regardless of what the origin of the current of air flowing through the tunnel is, it is without a doubt, that its presence makes traversing it on hoof a rather unique experience. The cold air gently pushing against one's face has been compared before to the feeling of pushing against a black, silken curtain. The feeling is ruined should one choose to bring with themselves a source of light, an act so unimaginably barbaric somepony has tried to ban it. The ban's proponent was a very dedicated pony, but a misguided one, as they pushed for it so hard it ended up being decided by Princess Celestia herself. And this is where the misguided nature of their fervor becomes apparent. Why would anyone think Princess Celestia herself would ban light, under any circumstances? Suffice to say, by carrying lamps into the tunnel Maud Pie, Red Beryl and Rain Shadow broke no laws, just a single pony's already broken heart.
The magic used to carve the tunnel was so cutting edge, the floor of it had to be intentionally made rougher, as to avoid ponies slipping down its entire length after one false step. The walls however, remained as smooth as the rocks they were carved from allowed it - not quite silky smooth, but not quite pumice either.
The little expedition into the dark heart of the mountain was led by Maud, who walked slowly right by the rock wall, holding the lamp in her teeth and occasionally slowing down and pushing her face against the rock as if listening if it had something to say. Two steps behind her followed Bixi, who quickly stopped admiring the mineral composition of the place to instead marvel at Maud's incredible technique. Closely behind him walked Rain Shadow, busy enjoying the wind in her feathers.
Sensitive from months of tinkering with his device, Bixi started sensing something emanating from the direction of Maud. Could it be, that she was expressing an emotion? He focused on the sensation.
A bond seemed to have been forming between Maud and the rock surrounding them. The bond, being of emotional nature, had a flavor even a novice such as Red Beryl could detect. The tight space between Maud's face and the smooth surface of volcanic rock seemed to be full of one particular emotion. It was a happy emotion, without a doubt, as it had the same flavor as most pony towns have. But there was also a more elusive element to it. Surprise perhaps? Was Maud surprised by something? Bixi looked around, paying closer attention to the rocks around them. While being this deep inside a mountain is not something ponies do every day, most ponies at least, nothing around seemed out of the ordinary. Just igneous rocks in their mostly virgin state. Could it be that it wasn't Maud who was the origin of the emotion? Could it be that it was the mountain itself who was pleasantly surprised? Maybe the mass of rock was delighted to finally be fully understood and appreciated by somepony, so much so it emitted an aura of surprised joy? Is that even possible? Is Maud really that good?
Maud suddenly stopped, a subtle change of pace in her case, which prevented her from blowing Bixi's mind even further. An act of self sabotage, if anything.
-What's up? - asked Rain Shadow, annoyed about no longer being able to walk and glide at the same time.
-This wall is funky - explained Maud.
-Funky? - Rain Shadow had trouble imagining how a rock wall could ever be called anything even close in the meaning to the word "funky".
Maud just pointed to the wall with her hoof, encouraging her to see for herself. Rain walked over and carefully put her cheek against the smooth surface.
While funky is not even on the list of words she'd use to describe the sensation, she couldn't deny its accuracy. It felt as if there were strands of hair, or maybe a root, coming from the wall and going deep inside her body. But not in a painful way. In a weirdly stimulating way. Like the wall was her friend and was telling her she could do anything she wanted. She quickly pulled away, because right then all she wanted to do is to not be encouraged by a wall.
-Do you have any idea what this is? - she asked Maud.
But Maud's face was much closer to a regular stone wall than the one that was right beside her.
-It's magic! - announced Bixi, who quickly investigated the wall behind Rain's back.
-Great detective work, Shadow Spade! - she mocked him - Now if you told me what kind of magic it is, that would much more helpful.
-Well... - Red Beryl was clearly preparing for a highly informative monologue - This mountain has an abnormally strong natural aura. If you think about it, you can probably realize that you are feeling slightly better than the circumstances would dictate. I know I barely mind losing my project at the moment, and normally I would be freaking out pretty hard. This part of the wall, however, is clearly anomalous even for the heightened magical potential this place has. Such pockets of magic are rare, as natural geo-magic usually flows in veins, and this one feels very much focused. But! Even though everything points to it not being unicorn magic, the spell cast on this wall was intentionally woven into the natural aura of the mountain, which leads me to believe this is illusory magic meant to hide something inside, or perhaps beyond this wall of, what looks like, basalt.
-Wow, Shadow Spade, you've managed to actually impress me! Now, if this is a magical wall hiding something, can you unhide it?
-Me? - he pointed to himself - no way - he laughed, shaking his head - it would take someone with proper magical education days, maybe weeks to remove this spell. This is some complex stuff...
-Ok then, let's say this isn't a wall, it's a secret door. Can you open it?
Bixi opened his mouth, closed it, raised one of his eyebrows and then looked at the wall. His horn lit up briefly and the wall in front of them started slowly pulling away from them, withdrawing into the mountain's body. Without making any sound, it moved to the right and revealed a vast, dark cave that was hidden behind it.
The cave, gaping in front of the ponies just as the majority of their mouths was agape, was almost as wide as the tunnel they just traversed. Several dark silhouettes loomed in the distance, subtly implying another source of light was present much further into the cave. It was hard to judge just how big the silhouettes were, but from where the ponies were standing at least one of them seemed absolutely massive.
-Nice! - exclaimed Rain Shadow, breaking the stunned silence, and walked into the cave.
The other two followed a couple steps behind her.
-Who's Shadow Spade? - Bixi asked Maud in a voice quiet enough to be masked the echoing hoof steps of the mare in front of them.
-Sounds like a card game - Maud shared her insight.
Bixi quickly veered to the right, and started looking at the magical rock door he just opened.
-I don't get it - he muttered a couple moments later, unheard by anyone.
Meanwhile, further into the cave, Rain Shadow reached the first dark object. It turned out to be a massive pile of brutally disemboweled and then mercilessly discarded suitcases and saddlebags. Dresses and fancy hats were strewn across the cave floor, with clear signs of ponies stomping on them multiple times. Bits were sprinkled across the ground, seemingly originating from a purse that has been opened and then cast away with great force. Rain picked up one of the bits in case they were chocolate coins. They weren't, but she kept it for later anyways. She moved on, walking by trampled glasses, smashed saddles and ripped open toiletry bags to finally reach the big, shadowy figure hidden further away from the door.
It was an entire cargo train carriage, looking suspiciously familiar, with an avalanche of packages coming out of its side door. Most of the packages were ripped open, and somepony must have searched all of them looking for something specific, as both completely empty and full boxes were present. The full ones were in many cases simply filled with rocks, while the empty ones were without exception filled with air.
Not really sure whether they were actually looking for this or not, Rain Shadow walked forwards a couple more steps, enough for the light of her lamp to reveal there was another train car behind the first one, an almost identical looking one, with the exception of the open door. The second car seemed untouched, with only a few items scattered on the cave floor around it.
Rain Shadow put her lamp down and turned around, feeling a strong need to consult her findings with somepony else. As she turned, she almost bumped noses with Maud, who was standing right behind her.
-I think we found the stolen baggage the pancake pony was talking about - she said.
Maud slowly moved her head around, looking at everything around them, as if she needed another look to confirm this outrageous idea.
-Looks like it - she admitted.
-You know what - Rain said, stepping back - I'm gonna fly back to the town and inform the police. You guys stay here and keep watch or something.
-Sure - Maud sounded very watchful.
Careful as not to step on anything, Rain Shadow trotted back to the entrance to the hidden cave.
-Keep the door open! - she told Bixi, who nodded and kept muttering to himself about weaving rocks and reality together.
Left effectively alone with a large quantity of personal belongings, Maud started to inspect the items lying around. Despite them being clearly the stolen baggage, there was a non-trivial amount of money simply lying about, while there were other goods obviously missing. While finding which items are missing from a collection one sees for the first time can be considered rather tricky, Maud decided to give it a go anyways.
Starting with the part she knew best, she decided to inspect the conspicuously empty packages from the cargo train car, as they were most likely to belong to con attendees, a rather single minded bunch she happened to know in depth. Outside of t-shirts literally nopony would ever want to steal, Rok-kon attendees mostly carried two kinds of goods with them. Rocks, which were clearly still in their boxes, and gemstones, cunningly replaced with air. Maud moved on deeper into the cave to see if the missing gems weren't just hidden further away.
Beyond the second train car the piles of baggage became more orderly. Rather than being spread across the floor, they were swept to the side, and seemingly compacted. They formed a thick layer of clothes and traveling supplies, which, if left alone, would form a rather fascinating mineral. Since the thieves picked, understandably so, the bags belonging to more well of ponies, Maud has almost instantly dubbed the would-be mineral 'snobium'. It was most unfortunate that she was unable to witness the process of that mineral forming, but she did have a train to catch.
The layers of potential geological delights ended where the tunnel, so far mostly straight and constant in width, narrowed and turned sharply. It was clear, that beyond the turn there was a source of light and, possibly, a tourist attraction, as a distant and distorted by echoes voice kept talking in a manner similar to that of a tour guide describing a particularly dull object. Maud, who would have loved a tour of the place, without hesitation started walking towards the voice.
She did not hurry, however, as there was still much to experience along the way. The cave floor, for example, was raw, natural rock, almost unspoiled by pony hooves. Impressive, considering how much traffic processing all the bags lying around must have caused. Maud was so impressed, she stared at the ground for most of the time she walked towards the voice, now sounding much less like a tour guide and much more like a teacher about to lose their patience. It has to be said staring at the ground was the default state for Maud Pie, but this time the reason she did it also validated looking just about anywhere else around her.
She almost got close enough to be able to make out the words of the lecture, when the sudden change in her surroundings forced her to stop. The cave around her suddenly turned from regular, dull stones, fascinating in their own right, into shiny, almost blinding in the light of her lamp, minerals made out of mostly crystals. Finding crystals deep inside a mountain is not unusual, except these ones seemed to have grown on top of the other rock.
Maud's mind instantly jumped to the trees overgrown with peridots outside the train tunnel. These crystals weren't peridots, but there were some structural similarities to the way they've grown on the walls. It seemed there was a crystal infestation happening and nobody had bothered to inform her.
Similarly to the ones in the forest, the crystals on the ground bristled with tiny needles. Somepony has walked on them before, clear hoof prints visible as patches of crushed crystals. They did it a few times, back and forth, as recently as it took those crystals to form. Maybe it was today, maybe it was a thousand years ago. Probably today though, as the voice Maud could hear probably belonged to them.
As Maud got closer, the teacher transformed again, this time into an angry construction overseer. His words became quite clear.
...and wrap the one on the left in some cloth, it needs to be in the dark. And this one, yes the green one, fifth from the bottom, should have an organic connection to all the zircons around it. Organic. Do you know what that means? It means made out of a plant. A copper wire is not organic, you imbecile. And you! I told you to connect that bit of lapis to the others with the golden chain, and what did you do? Stare at it for an hour! Just do it, for Celestia's sake! And when you're done, align all the diamonds so that they form an octagon. No! That's not lapis, you sad excuse of a properly developed mind! That's a diamond! Yes, one of the ones I just told you about! No, don't do that now! Finish the rest first!
It kept going and going, not quite a monologue, but rather an extremely one sided stream of communication, with some insults towards the receivers intellect thrown in from time to time. Impressive in both its length and the scope of what it must have been dealing with, the constant flow of instructions accompanied Maud as she took another turn and entered a large, egg shaped cavern.
The cavern looked a lot like a geode, except way too big to be one. It was so similar to an egg, the more sensible comparison of a drop or stretched bubble did not come to mind easily. All of its walls were covered with thick layers of crystal, similar to the ones in the corridor leading to it. None of that, however, was what one would notice upon entering the cave, for the object in the middle of it was a real show stealer. If somepony asked her to describe what she saw, Maud would have no idea where to start, or even where to end.
Perfectly in the middle of the eggy shape there was a large, irregularly shaped crystal pillar, slowly pulsating with gentle light. It was hard to see exactly how big it was as it was tightly surrounded by an intricate web of various gemstones, held together by sometimes the most bizarre bindings. There were definitely some belts and ribbons in there, a lot of what looked like horribly disfigured jewelry and at least one bicycle. The bicycle has been disassembled, its parts spanning all across the odd construction, which formed a sort of scaffolding all around the crystal pillar, covering almost all of its height, maybe two or three layers away from reaching the tip. Two pegasi were busy flying around the monstrous construction, adjusting its parts and adding new elements to an already unbelievably complex design, all while a visibly annoyed unicorn kept releasing a deluge of new instructions upon them.
Maud did not really know what to do about her discovery, so she just kept on walking forwards. Through pure coincidence, that put her on a collision trajectory with the loud unicorn, who now went on a tirade about the quality of eyesight of the two pegasi accompanying him. He was so into it, it wasn't until one of the pegasi looked over his shoulder and then motioned to his winged friend to do the same, that he even noticed something was wrong.
-What are you two looking... - he managed to blurt out, but upon seeing the mare behind him he quickly changed his tone - Hello there, friend! - his friendliness was quite authentically fake - How did you get here? Are you lost? - the concern in his voice was not fake at all.
-I'm spelunking - she answered, her eyes glued to the apparatus erected by the three ponies.
The unicorn smiled, noticing she couldn't resist staring at his unfinished masterpiece.
-You look like a pony who can appreciate true art - he said with a smile - I can show you around if you'd like - he proposed still smiling - We are deep inside Mount Loom - he continued, practically without pausing to let Maud give an answer - in what could be called its heart, if something as inanimate as a mountain could even have one. Unusually strong magic is coursing through its crystalline veins, but this strong magic doesn't seem to actually accomplish anything - it sounded like he has rehearsed this part, bringing back the idea that he could have been a tour guide - There is a powerful aura here, centered around this here enormous crystal core, ready to be used. The problem, of course, lies in the fact that there really is nothing around to use this power on, this being the almost exact middle of the mountain, and it's probably safe to assume a mountains magic will not appreciate any attempts at trying to move it away from the actual mountain. So I decided to construct this little installation of mine, which uses an intricate web of carefully hoof-picked gems to redirect the magic emanating from the core into a feedback spiral that, if arranged perfectly, should make it so that any spell cast on the core itself is reflected in a radius around it. The size of the radius, if my calculations are correct, should be large enough to encompass all of Equestria, and quite a few of the surrounding lands on top of it. Of course, if the arrangement is not perfect, there could be holes in the coverage, or maybe even spots where the magic is distributed unevenly, incinerating some areas and leaving others unaffected, both being an effect completely undesired by me. But there is no need to worry, perfectionism is one of my many curses, the others include being a misunderstood genius and... What are you doing?
It turned out Maud was not interested in what he had to say after all, because who would want to listen to a tour guide with an ego? Instead she decided to take a closer look at the "installation" on her own. She was close to one of the several particularly densely packed parts of the monumental construction when the unicorn finally realized she'd been ignoring his lecture.
She raised her right, front hoof, turned her head around to look the unicorn straight in the eyes and said:
-Your crime, grand theft - she said, slowly - your punishment, failure.
She pushed her raised hoof into the dizzyingly complex network of stolen jewelry and other private belongings surrounding the crystal pillar, causing the entire construction to collapse like a house of cards, even making a similar, if much more metallic, sound.
The unicorn stood there for moment, completely motionless, his mouth open as wide as it is possible without conscious effort. It took quite a few seconds for his mind to process what has just happened and decide how to react. It then decided to just do what it always does.
-Why are you two featherheads just standing there?! - he yelled at the two pegasi who landed on the floor behind him and were also staring at the destruction completely motionless - Do something! Catch her!
The pegasi looked at each other. They didn't really understand why he wanted them to catch somepony who was standing completely still, but before the unicorn had time to get even angrier Maud mercifully turned away and started leaving the, now much messier, cave.
The winged ponies sprung into the air, glided towards Maud and grabbed her as tight as creatures without claws can. Unfortunately for them, easy to apprehend was not a quality that can describe Maud Pie when she is moving. Slow, maybe. Deliberate, probably. Inevitable, if you're feeling dramatic. But stoppable? Not really.
So Maud kept moving, now with two more bodies, two more heads, four extra wings and eight additional legs attached to her back, but at a pace completely unaltered by her sudden change of appearance. The pace allowed the unicorn to angrily stomp around her, mumbling something about having to do everything himself.
-Where in Equestria do you think you're going? - he shouted at her, standing right in front of her.
Maud might have not spent that much time outside her family's rock farm, but she knew that trampling is not something other ponies appreciate being subjected to. So she stopped before the unicorn. Somehow that sudden lack of motion has caused the two pegasi to lose hold of her and they flopped to the floor besides her. They slowly picked themselves up from the floor and positioned themselves behind Maud, creating a triangle of ponies around her.
Meanwhile, the unicorn seemed to struggle to find a way to articulate his thoughts. The pegasi were already bracing for another diatribe by him, expecting this one to be particularly juicy. But instead, he started screaming right into Maud's face. Pure vocalized frustration poured from his mouth, causing the two pegasi as well as the fluff inside of Maud's ears to all flinch. Several seconds into his scream, something shattered in the pile of metal and gems surrounding the pillar in the middle of the cave. When he finally stopped, the echoes kept going for a long, ear ringing while.
-Who are you?! - the unicorn bellowed. - Why are you doing this?! For what purpose?! - he was clearly trying to induce an existential crisis in Maud. An interesting, if rather ineffective tactic.
Overall, his unconventional approach to situation has had an effect probably exactly opposite to the one he desired, as several voices, at first easily mistaken for echoes of the thoroughly vexed unicorn, could be heard getting closer and closer to the only entrance to the cave.
-Guard the door! - the unicorn ordered his hench ponies upon realizing the echoes were unusually creative and ran towards the crystal pillar.
-I don't see a door here, do you? - asked one of the pegasi after the unicorn moved away.
-Nope - answered the other, but not before quickly scanning the cave.
-Good. I was half expecting a door to suddenly appear somewhere around here. It would make just as much sense as calling this a door - he pointed to the corridor.
The sound of multiple galloping ponies was overwhelming for the trio standing in front of the acoustic amplifier that was the tunnel leading to the cave. At first it felt like they were just around the corner, but then the source of the sound seemed to be getting closer for several more seconds.
-So… - said the one who spoke first - how do you think he imagines us guarding this 'door'?
-I don't know what he had on his mind, but how about we try do it from over there? - he pointed in the vague direction of 'not here'.
They moved away, leaving Maud still standing where she was first stopped by the unicorn. She wasn't paying attention to what the other three ponies present in the cave were doing - she was listening to her own hooves. They were telling her about how a large group of ponies running fast deep inside a mountain can cause a sensation similar to a seismic event happening several kilometers away. Her hooves are real fun at parties.
Fun times were over soon however, as the entire local police force barged into the cave. Accompanying them was a bright flash, and the loud sound of shifting rocks, as if a thunder strike has caused a rockslide the very moment they entered the cave. The freshly arrived ponies quickly assumed the facial expressions and poses characteristic to ponies about to be turned into mashed marshmallows by a several tons of rolling stones.
Maud was not one to look back at the sources of loud noises and bright lights, but the group of immobilized by fear police officers in front of her made it impossible for her to walk away from it, so she was left with no choice but to investigate the source of the commotion. Besides, her party hooves were completely absorbed by supporting her weight, and they would have not been able to maintain focus if anything unusual happened so close by. One of Maud's greatest and only fears was that one day she will fall over because her hooves will forget what their only real job is when some seismic anomaly happens on another continent and they get really excited. What a day that will be.
She turned around and instantly she had to admit, that the sight in front of her could make quite an impression. In the middle of the cave stood four giant, weirdly shaped and slowly moving towards them creatures made out of rock. They stood oddly vertical, on only their hind legs, and seemed to have no front legs, but instead had weird, wing like formations on each of their sides, which they flailed randomly and with majestic slowness of a being made out of rock. They slowly crept towards the crowd behind Maud, sweeping the space in front of them with each step. Even though they only swept through empty air so far, it looked like had any matter been in the space in front of them instead, the end result would have been the same, that is, the space would end up completely empty.
That was definitely what terrified the pride of Emerald Pines, but for Maud it was just a really odd scene. The creatures were made out of rock she could not recognize, meaning that it probably did not exist, which was also too porous for their knees to be able to support their weight. They also quite clearly had no eyes or ears. A rock does not need such organs, but that meant that their menacing movement was just clueless, random convulsions. Most rocks don't move not because they can't, but because they have no way of knowing that they should.
Having surmised all that, Maud started walking towards the giants, at a pace that should make them think she is one of them should they have a way of actually perceiving their surroundings.
Behind her, the volunteer law enforcers have stayed completely petrified. With four rock monstrosities slowly closing in to them, they could not do anything other than slowly opening their eyes wider and wider, which had the benefit of keeping the ratio of their field of view occupied by them the same despite them appearing larger and larger as they came closer. The poor ponies could not force themselves to go any closer to the creatures, and as it is nearly impossible to turn on the spot with four legs, they just stood there, the embodiment of terror, their bodies growing tenser with each passing second.
Maud has almost reached the first giant, but instead of getting a closer look at it, she just walked past it, paying no mind to its enormous appendage swinging dangerously close to her head. She has had already set her sight on something else.
Standing knee deep in the rubble left over from his latest big project and leaning with his both front legs against the crystal pillar in the middle, which was now pulsating at a much faster rate, stood the unicorn. The light emanating from the pillar exaggerated the expression of extreme concentration on his face into something comically unrealistic, and caused the droplets of sweat running across it to sparkle subtly. Additionally, his entire body had a sparkling aura of primal magic around it, which all together made him look like some sort of a princess.
Maud walked right up next to him and leaned in so that her face was right next to his ear.
-Boo - her delivery was so incredible, the unicorn opened his eyes and looked around in confusion.
-What... - he muttered. As he did, a wet pop could be heard in the cave as the four rock creatures vanished. Almost immediately after, the sudden release of tension knocked over all of the police ponies who were still standing paralyzed where Maud has left them. The pillar lit up brighter and so did the aura around the unicorn. His eyes opened wider as the wild, mountain magic went straight into his head and he blacked out.
The day was saved.
EPILOGUE
Late evening of the same day the late train has finally arrived at High Haven. Rok-kons opening ceremonies have been postponed until the next day, and instead a massive "Drinks on Rocks" party was hosted.
Due to the fact that over half of the attendees were late, registration has been reopened. Sitting at the reception desk was the con chair herself. She put another name down in the attendance book and raised her head to look at the next pony in the line.
-Maudie! - she exclaimed, overjoyed, and leaned over the desk to hug her with the strength of a thousand whales - How was your trip? - she asked just as she did the previous fourteen times.
-Uneventful - replied Maud, as that was how she had found it.