The Spider One-Shot: A Night with the Princess

A Night with the Princess

Peter Parker was skittish. Well, he was always that way. Being the spectacular Spider-Man, this was a given. And ever since he'd been saved from the brink of death by an anthropomorphic amazonian horse goddess, he'd stopped questioning the bizzare adventures his life had thrown his way. The goddess in question was the princess of the dimension he currently resided in, a world of anthropomorphic pony people. They looked like they were straight out of a furry fanfiction, or like rejected characters for Sonic the Hedgehog or Zootopia. The thing that irked Peter most of all was that now, thanks to his spiritual mentor Madame Web intervention of his dying in Mary Jane's arms and Princess Celestia's magic ritual of healing his extensive, fatal injuries had had the uncanny side-effect of transforming him into one of them. Peter had thanked Celestia both personally and mentally that still resembled a humanoid shape. But, the fact that his body had fur, he had a tail, and his head was that of a rather anime-like horse with his chocolate-brown shaggy hair was still off putting to say the least.

''Why am I still going on about that?'', Peter muttered under his breath, the 17-year-old human-teen-turned-colt staring out the window of his seat, snapping out of his thoughts, remembering he was on the Friendship Express, again. Last night, Celestia had asked him to come to Catnerlot to see her. Something about helping to ''alleaviate the turmoil''.

Peter had seen no reason to refuse, considering that he owed a great deal to Celestia, since he had gone to a great deal to save his life. Plus, she's the only chick here I can talk to without falling over my words, as per friggin' usual he chuckled mentally. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hand through his mop-like hair. He switched his thoughts to the week before, after he'd first arrived in Ponyville. And how he'd met the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony on this very train, or more accurately, Pinkie Pie had just popped right in front of him, scared the shit out of him, and dragged him in front of the other bearers. They were all nice gals, all though he knew that he'd gotten on Rainbow Dash's suspicious side with his trademark witty attitude. Then things had, as usual, went downhill, as Pinkie then wanted to, as she did with every new pony...person she met, throw him a welcoming party. And all though he'd asked for a small party, she'd completely ignored his request and invited literally the whole damn town to meet him. And he had been told by Vinyl Scratch, the town's top DJ, this was a normal occurrence. So, Peter followed Rodrick Heffley's advice of not talking to anyone, not looking at anyone, not going to the bathroom, etc. But, he did talk to Vinyl, and like before, met up up with her friends to.

They included Dr. Time Turner Whooves, whom he was convinced was Equestria's Doctor Who, or David Tennant, and his wife, Derpy, who was a mailmare. And then Lyra Heartstrings and Bob Bon, whom were a....ahem, lesbian couple. And Octavia Melody, Vinyl's posh, eloquent roommate, who preferred classical music over Vinyl's techno. And then, as he'd predicted, everything eventually went completely to hell. A loud bang, which had thrown him into an episode of PTSD, had him having a nuclear meltdown, one he hadn't had since his clone debacle back on Earth. And, unlike usual, Pinkie was following him, asking was was wrong, and then her friends followed, and then Lyra, Doc Whooves, and the rest were there. And like that, Peter took off like a rocket under the overwhelming unwanted attention. Ran back to the apartment he'd rented, and finished having a nervous breakdown.

Aaaaaaaaand that's when the Plundervines came invading. For the first time since he arrived in Equestria, it was hero time. Something he knew he could handle. But, he had no Spidey costume in sight, so, with a haphazardly makeshift in the form of a green bedsheet, the amazing Spider-Man was finally back in businuss. But then, like before, things went shitty. Turner, Derpy, Vinyl, Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Octavia, despite having only him once at a party, saw the obviously insane dude in the green bedsheet swinging around the evil-vine-infested town, saving ponies. And instead of doing the sensible thing, and evacuating the town like everypony else, they had the absolutely bright idea to try and do the same. And he was hating it. But, he'd obviously had done a really piss-poor job at improvising a costume with a bedsheet, because they figured his identity out in less than a heartbeat. And no matter how nicely he asked and pleaded, they insisted on staying to help him. Granted, they did save a lot of citizens, even though he'd been having heart palpitations the whole time.

And the night came full circle. He'd met the most oily individual in Equestria. Discord, the alledged and infamous Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, or rather, a weird, Greek mythology version of Q. The guy reminded him a lot of Osborn. And that was always a pleasant feeling. After that, Twilight and Spike came back, apparently asked by her friends to come back to help maintain order. But, at Discord's assholish and sardonic commentary, Twilight went rushing back into the Everfree Forest, but asked Peter to tag along. Which he actually went along with because he knew she could hold her own. So, after finding the mysterious source of the problem, which was a strange force known as the Tree of Harmony, a crystallized magical tree the vines were killing. So, Twilight and her friends were forced to return the Elements' gemstones to the Tree, restoring it to it's prime and eradicating the vines. Turns out Celestia and her younger sister Princess Luna had been captured by the vines, something he wished he'd known before. After obtaining a weird box the Tree had literally sprouted from a flower, they warped back to Ponyville. It was then that Discord stupidly admitted that he'd been behind the whole fiasco. And he'd hadn't told them nor did anything to help stop, excusing it with bullshit about teaching Twilight a lesson about being princess.

Yeah, to say Peter was pissed off at this guy was an understatement. BIG TIME. He exploded. But, he'd remembered Celestia's hands on his shoulders. Her warm, motherly, soothing voice that helped to calm him down. Still, Peter knew one thing for absolute certain. He really didn't like Discord. The dude was a flat-out asshole. But, after bailing out, going back home to collapse into a pile of goo from exhaustion, Celestia came to him. He'd remembered him pouring his heart out to her over the stress of the night, and like before, almost similar to Aunt May or Mary Jane, had given him the ''you are better than you think you are'' speech. And just like always, he'd calmed down. And now, here he was, going back to that angellic woman. He knew without a doubt that he'd want her to be his mommy if he still didn't miss Aunt May terribly.

Peter blew air out his nose as his reminecising had finally ended. He looked out the window and spotted the city on the mountainside he'd found himself in a week ago. Any stress he'd had was melting away. He knew a visit with Celestia was what he needed. He took the travel brochure and read through it, looking at anything interesting he'd missed when he'd first been there, killing time till they'd arrived.

Soon, the train finally pulled into the station. The conductor's voice spoke out through the intercome. Welcome to Canterlot. The capital of Equestria. We hope you've enjoyed your trip and thank you for choosing the Friendship Express. Please grab your possesstions and exit to the right. Peter grabbed his travelbag and threw it over his shoulder. He stood up, stretching his underused legs, and exited the coach car with the other passengers.

(Didn't feel like writing him walking through Canterlot's streeted, cuz I'm fucking lazy, lol, sue me)

After walking through the streets of Canterlot, he'd finally reached the pearly (well, not exactly pearly) gates of Canterlot Castle. The teen marched up to doors. The two tall unicorn guards looked down at him, and Peter smiled nervously back. ''Hey guys, betcha weren't expecting me again, right?'' he chuckled. The stallion on the left actually snorted, his stern expression ever so slightly changing into a bemused grin.

''On the contrary, Mr. Parker. Her Highness is eagerly awaiting your arrival'' he said, his baritone tone calm, almost causual. Peter grinned cheekily, knowing his wit was appreciated by some. The two opened the massive doors and Peter slowly walked in, noticing two other guards awaiting him. ''Right this way, Mr. Parker,'' they droned in the deep voices, reminding Peter of Nick Fury's gruff, intimidating tone whenever he addressed Peter. The two flanked him as they did all visitors to the castle, which still made him squeamish, hoping they wouldn't spear him. They approached the doors to the sanctuary where the Princess resided.  The guards opened the doors and Peter stroded in. He finally spotted her. Princess Celestia sat upon her throne, in all her tall glory. She wore a pale yellow dress, which accentuated her absolutely stunning body, her wide hipes, thick, amazonian legs that could crush sompony's head like a grapefruit, and her H-cupped breasts, that Peter was trying so desperately hard not to pop a bulge at. ''Hello, Peter, I'm so glad you finally made it'', she smiled, ''I trust your trip was pleasant?''. ''Eh, I was long, but better than last time, right?'', Peter grinned mirthily back at her. She raised her hand, signalling the guards to leave the room, which they did immediately. Celestia stood up, her immense height fully showcasing her banging bod. Peter was still trying to figure out if she intentionally tried to look as seductive and sultry as possible to intimidate her students. She walked down the stairs, her huge hips swaying like a model from makeup commercials on Youtube Peter had seen. She finally stood infront of Peter, easily towering over him. ''I've made sure things won't be as...pressuring as last week, dear'', she said smoothly. ''Coolio, Princess C. So, if ya don't mind me asking, what'd you have in mind?'' Peter inquired, scratching the back of his neck. Celestia put her arm over the back of his neck, resting her hand on his left shoulder. ''In time, Peter. Just follow me up to my quarters, it'll be quieter and more peaceful there,''. The two proceeded up the hallway, walking the corridors of the castle, before reaching the doors of what Peter gueesed was her bedroom. She opened the door, nudging the teenage human-turned-colt to go into the room.

Peter walked in, whistling at the surroundings. Her bedroom was mostly purple. There was a