I ran through the field with Tia, my older and most beloved sister. We were playing a new game that Tia invented. We have to tag each other and run. It was so fun! She invented it all by herself! Tia is so clever and smart. I wonder if I'll ever be as clever as her?
Probably not...
It came so suddenly I almost fainted. The words echoed through my mind, a dark voice belonging to someone I didn't recognise.
How could you ever be as clever as her? She is older than you... Much, much smarter...
There it was again, a voice that was not my own, echoing through my head and stopping me dead in my tracks.
"Luna!" Celestia came running towards me, but the voice had stopped, as quickly as it had began. I realised I had gone pale and felt very weak.
"I-I'm fine Tia..." But I trailed off. Something strange was happening to my sister. She was floating... Floating up and up and glowing...
"Tia!" I cried out more urgently, the sky was darkening. But it wasn't a bad thing... How could it be? She was flying on her own, her horn was glowing...
She was moving the sun, all by herself.
When she finally came down, she landed softly in the grass next to me and lifted her head. I ran up to her, all strange voices forgotten.
"Tia! Tia!" I cried laughing.
"Wh-what?" She said shakily. I couldn't believe she hadn't noticed!
"You've got your cutie mark! You raised the sun and — and you've got your cutie mark!" There it was, a bright golden sun resting on my sister's flank. Little did I know that this cutie mark would become the reason of my nightmares for the rest of my life.
"I-I got what?" Moving her head slowly, as if afraid it would disappear if she moved too quickly, she looked at her flank.
There was a moments silence. And then -
"I got my cutie mark!" She wept joyfully. I beamed at her. "I really got my cutie mark! Mum! Dad!"
I stood up to follow her but she leaped up and knocked me over to the side. Sure she would help me up, I sat up slowly only to see her galloping away, leaving me on my own. My head hurt from where she had hit me and I thought I was confused... She couldn't have left me, she couldn't have!
But there she was, running away from me, leaving me behind.
For the first time, she had neglected me.
"I got my cutie mark! I really really got it! Mum!" She was yelling, her younger sister completely forgotten.
She does not care for you... She left you, see? She does not need you...
Confused, alone, sad, I sat in the grass until Mum came out and told me it was time for dinner.
It wasn't the first time she neglected me. Our parents were reaching the end of their lifespans. Even alicorns can only live for so long.
Celestia stayed with them as they left Equestria and shut me out, as if I had no right to say goodbye to them. My parents. My mum. My dad. Gone forever, with no chance to say goodbye to me.
She had said goodbye to them, and I had not.
That night, I sat alone in the grass, the same grass I had sat in years before, feeling the same way as I did now. Alone, confused, sad... Maybe a little angry.
I don't know how long I sat there for, watching the sun go down. She was doing it. She was doing it all.
Angry at her, angry at her for feeling that she was more important than I, I stood up in the grass and lifted the moon. It hurt at first, but gradually began to feel more normal as I did it. I was becoming more powerful. I liked it. I liked having power.
I suddenly felt a tingling sensation where my cutie mark should be. It was coming.
My cutie mark was nowhere near as dramatic as my sister's, and that was how I liked it.
The wind whipped at my short blue mane and I could feel it changing. It grew longer and sparkled. A symbol of power.
I looked at my flank and wasn't surprised to see the little moon shining back at me. It felt normal. It felt good.
You can have more power... Yes, I can give you more power...
The voice spoke to me again. It didn't startle me. I didn't jump.
I am called Nightmare... I can help you....
Nightmare... It felt normal.
You can get back at her... You have powers she could only dream of having... I can help bring them out...
I didn't move, just stood there listening to the voice. Finally I spoke.
"Show me."
It was a command, a command for this Nightmare to show who she really was.
Show you? The Nightmare laughed, a soft sound, filling my mind and enchanting me. Yes... I can show you. But you must let me...
I thought. What did she mean by 'let her'?
Finally I gave in. "Yes."
Instantly a lightness filled me. I no longer felt any pain from my sister's betrayal. I no longer felt any grief for my parents. It was bliss not to think, not to feel. I felt nothing, blankness filled my brain.
Allow me to help you... I gave in and felt myself change.
"Yes.. Good little Luna," I hissed. Words came out of my mouth but I didn't speak them. "We shall get revenge on your sister..."
I smiled. What Celestia did was unforgivable.
Nightmare was going to help me.
We were running through the fields, my sister and I. It had been a while since we had done this. She was only young, very young, but we were having fun. I had just invented a game where we had to tip each other. I didn't much like it, but she was having fun.
I don't know how long we were playing for, but I remember the look on her face when she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. She had gone pale and looked... Terrified. She was trembling and staring into space like she had forgotten where she was.
"Luna!" I cried, changing direction and running towards her. She was so pale!
"I-I'm fine Tia..." She muttered, snapping back to reality. But she trailed off as she looked up at me. I hadn't realised it at the time but... I was flying. I was really flying! One minute I had been rushing to help my sister, the next... I was up in the air.
It felt so lovely to be in the air! It just felt... So natural! The wind was flowing through my mane and ruffling the feathers on my wings. I was almost disappointed when I landed.
"Tia! Tia!" Luna came rushing towards me, laughing.
"Wh-what?" I was still shocked from being in the air.
"You've got your cutie mark!" She practically screamed. "You raised the sun and — and you've got your cutie mark!"
"I-I got what?" I said in disbelief. But there it was, a beautiful golden sun resting on my flank. I was elated.
"I got my cutie mark!" I had completely forgotten about how pale Luna had gone, or how terrified she had looked. I had cared only for myself... "I really got my cutie mark! Mum! Dad!"
I leaped up and ran from the fields to show my most recent success to my parents. I completely forgot about Luna altogether.
Looking back, I realise that she had probably been trying to congratulate me.
And I knocked her over and ran off. Just like that.
If I had thought of her, noticed that her thoughts were being corrupted, I could have stopped it.
I feel so ashamed.
I'm not sure if it was just that one incident, but over the years we grew further apart, more distant. We didn't fight, didn't talk. Just drifted apart.
And it occurred to us that our parents were in their final days. We both knew that even alicorns couldn't live forever. But I never thought... My parents... Could just... My parents...
Perhaps I was stunned that they were dyeing.
Perhaps I was already grieving for them.
Whatever the reason, I locked Luna out. To give myself more time with them. I know it was horrible. I know it was unforgivable. And if I could change it... I would. But my teenage self was selfish. I can't help what I did in the past. No one can.
I saw Luna go outside in the grass. And if I had known what was going to happen, I would have stopped her. Talked to her. Apologised.
But I didn't.
And she became Nightmare Moon.
And it was all my fault.
What I did was unforgivable. And if I ever see her again I'll tell her so.
But she's locked in the moon. If she ever comes back... I can only hope that she does.
I'm sorry Luna.
