Wax Fruit

by PotatoJoe

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Comedy, Gilda, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 9222

Twilight is called back to Canterlot and Applejack goes with.

A one-off story. Princess Celestia calls back Twilight to take over her duties as court magician and Applejack goes with - and gets more of a taste of her govenment than she wanted.

And then she insults Celestia's cooking skills.

Published 2011-11-30 07:53:53 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-30 07:53:53 UTC

Chapter 1

The season was over.

Applejack, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom looked around the farm, pride swelling in them. The trees stretched to the far ends of sight, not an apple on any of them. They’d been pruned for winter and prepared for the frost with fresh mulch. The vegetable fields were put to rest, turned over and fertilized to await the next year. The barn was in fresh repair, the farmhouse’s roof was freshly re-tiled, the barrels were re-sealed, and all four carts had been repaired, greased, and repainted.

They had nothing left to do.

Running a farm was a full time job, but come winter, all they could do was hunker down and wait for spring. The Apple family spent the fall harvesting and preparing for the winter, working hard, long hours. It was worth it in the end - unlike so many other farms, they basically spent the winter relaxing.

True, there was still work to be done - the animals had to be seen to, firewood needed to be chopped, and the years finances had to be gone over, but that wasn’t the same as spending the day ploughing, bucking, carting, and selling. I

“ Well, I think ah’ll be taking the day off to go see mah friends in town.” said Applejack, jostling her shoulders slightly and adjusting her hat.

“ Ah’m gonna go see my friends too!” chimed Applebloom, her young voice full of vigor and life. “ It’s been weeks since ah’ve seen them outsida school!”

“ Ah’ll walk her inta town, Applejack.” said Big Macintosh, smiling as his littlest sister pranced and danced around them in excitement. “ Ah’ve just got to run by the post office.”

“ You must be getting a looooot of mail, Big Macintosh.” said Applejack, giggling a little as the three earth ponies began their trot towards town. Big Macintosh looked away while she teased him and Applebloom began to babble about the things she and her friends were going to try today to find their cutie marks. “ Jes’ sayin’, it seems to me you go to the post office jes’ about every time y’all go to town.”

“ Well, ah do get a lot of mail, Applejack.” said Big Macintosh defensively. “ Ah run most of the farms finances and hafta mail a lot of forms - “

“ Oh, are y’all talking about Big Macintosh’s marefriend?” said Applebloom, skidding to a halt in front of them. Applejack laughed as the blushing draft pony stepped around her. “ Ya is, ain’tcha? That funny mail pegasus with those crazy eyes, ah’ve seen you two on a date, ya know!”

“ Well, tarnation, the cats out of the bag!” guffawed Applejack as Big Macintosh stared straight ahead, trying to ignore her. “ And here ah was thinkin’ that only me and Granny Smith had guessed it. Oh, and her littlest daughter, that little Dinkie Doo - she came by the farm, ya know. Asked why you kept sending her mom flowers. She didn’t want you to stop - ‘parently Ditzy loved them and kept making nice salads from them.”

“....she is mighty handy in the kitchen.” conceded Big Macintosh, letting out a long-suffering sigh. Applejack and Applebloom giggled. “ Don’ go and tease her about it, will ya? Ah’m sure she gets enough of that dating a younger stallion-”

“ Uh, why’s that?” asked Applebloom, looking confused. “ Is the stallion supposed to be older?”

“ Not really, jes’ a little odd.” said Applejack as Big Macintosh looked away. “ Mos’ of the time ponies date ponies real close to their own age - but Ditzy ain’t too much older than Macintosh.”

“ So, when y’all get married, Dinky an’ Sparkler are gunna be like, mah cousins, right?” asked Applebloom, looking focused. Big Macintosh coughed as Applejack laughed again.

“ That’s takin’ it a bit far, Applebloom.” said Big Macintosh, looking at the ground.

“ Yeah, ‘bloom. Macintosh and Ditzy are jes’ dating right now. Don’t worry your pretty little head about that a bit.” said Applejack, ruffling Appleblooms mane with one hoof. She felt that Big Macintosh was getting embarrased, so it was time to move the conversation on - and Ponyville was coming into sight.

“ Well, ah guess ah’ll take her to that fancy hairdresser place.” said Big Macintosh, gesturing towards Rarity’s boutique. “ Sweetie Bell’s still staying there, right?”

“ Yep!” said Applebloom with a smile, prancing ahead. “ Hey! We can get her sister to make you a suit for your weddin’!”

Applejack rolled her eyes as Applebloom ran ahead, a sputtering Big Macintosh following behind. She herself turned towards the Library - she planned on going to see Rarity when she wouldn’t be dealing with her siblings. The trot though town was a pleasant one and Applejack took her time - she usually had to be brisk, but she had a purse full of bits and nothing to do, so she enjoyed herself. She bought a new kerchief - red with a rose pattern, which reminded her of the one her mother had worn - and sampled some new ice-cream flavors a street vendor was selling.

Deciding to never tell anyone how much she’d enjoyed pear-flavored ice cream, she crunched down on the last bite of cone and came to a halt in front of the Library where her friend Twilight Sparkle lived.

Trying the knob, she found it locked.

This was odd. The Library was Twilights home, but she kept it open and functioning as a library at most times. She usually only locked the door at night - and it was hardly early enough to think about brunch. Looking up, she saw that the windowshades on Twilights bedroom were still shut. Wondering if Twilight was out for the day, or perhaps sick, she decided to knock once more.

“ I’ll get it, Twi, I’ll get it!”

Spike’s voice comforted Applejack as she heard the little guy scurring across the wooden floor. Twilight was there - perhaps she was just lost in a book and forgot to unlock the door? The lock clicked and the door opened, revealing the little purple and green dragon.

Applejack immediately could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t hard - when Spike was sad, angry, or stressed, a little whisp of black some would trail from his nose. He noticed her looking and waved it away with one clawed hand.

“ Uh, hey, Applejack.” he said, gesturing for her to enter. “ Glad your here.”

“ What’s up?” she asked, entering. Spike shut the door behind them. The Library was dark - none of the candles were lit and Twilight’s magic wasn’t illuminating anything.

“ Uh, bad news from Canterlot.” said Spike, walking towards the stairs up to the second floor and the living room. “ Just came last night. Old Mrs. Fumblemare passed away yesterday, and, uh, she was the court mage for Princess Celestia.”

“ Was Twilight close to her?” asked Applejack as she was lead upstairs. She couldn’t hear Twilight sobbing, but that didn’t tell her if her friend was or wasn’t grieving.

“ Not really.” said Spike with a little shrug. “ They’d met a few times and worked together a few times, but that was it. The, um, problem is that the Princess needs a new court mage.”

Applejack came to a halt at the top of the stairs.

“ Naw, she can’t be taking Twilight!” she said in alarm.

“ Afraid she is.” said Spike, scracthing his spines and looking at the floor. “ Me and Twi knew this was gonna happen someday - Celestia’s been grooming Twilight for this for years. We just thought we’d have longer - Old Mrs. Fumblemare was old, but she was still pretty healthy.”

“ Hey, Applejack.” said Twilight, entering the hall. She’d looked better, but didn’t look terrible. Her mane was somewhat messy and there was some redness to her eyes. “ Hows the farm?”

“ Done for the season.” said Applejack quickly. “ An’ ah’ve the next few weeks off, so I’ll be here for you every second.”

“ Heh, thanks, but .... you know...I’m not going to be here.” said Twilight with a sad smile. Applejack blushed at her mistake.

“ Ah guess ah, uh, meant ah’d help you move and get settled an’ all.” said Applejack, clairifing. “ Sorry, this is jes’ kinda sudden. When do you go home?”

“ The Royal Guard is sending a chariot to pick me up at noon.” said Twilight, looking away. “ I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I’ve been - “

“ Noon?” said Applejack in shock. “ Hells bells, we need to tell everypony! Ah thought you’d have a few day!”

“ Um, Rainbow Dash knows.” said Twilight, gesturing for Applejack to follow her towards the living room. Inside Applejack found herself surrounded by boxes - it seemed like Twilight had already packaged her life. “ She’s picking up everypony else. You were probably the last on her list, since you live so far outside of town.”

“ Consarnit.” said Applejack, sitting on one of the overstuffed purple pillows. Spike ran to the fireplace and began heating some tea. “ Ah-ah don’t know what to say, Twi. We’re losin’ you this quick?”

“ It won’t be as bad as it sounds, actually.” said Twilight, glancing out the window to check for a sign of her other friends. “ As the court mage I’m going to be allowed to do some more advanced magic and have a much larger supply budget, so I can whip up a teleportation circle in a month or two.”

“ A what?” asked Applejack, reeling a little. Was Twilight more interested in her experiments than her friends?

“ Oh, sorry, I always forget I’m not talking to unicorns.” apologized Twilight. “ You know how I can use teleportation to travel short distances?”

“ Well, yes.”

“ You couldn’t travel really long distances like that - even a close town like Ponyville would be too far from Canterlot. But a teleportation circle works differently - it connects two specific places that I mark with a magic circle - so I can transport between them more easily. When I have one made, i’ll be able to pop back to Ponyville whenever I want!”

“ But only when she has the day off.” said Spike, walking over with two cups of steaming tea. Applejack accepted hers - she wasn’t much for the drink, but Spike made such tea that anypony would enjoy it. “ She’ll have a day off each week and the odd evening here or there.”

“ B-but I will see everypony.” said Twilight with a sigh, sitting across from Applejack. “ Sorry if I got ahead of myself.”

“ No, no problem.” said Applejack, trying to re-assure her friend. “ That’s better than ah coulda hoped for, actually - an’ you don’t have to come back here every week. Ah’m sure you’ve missed Canterlot - “

Twilight looked away from Applejack, guilt in her eyes.

“ - an’ while we’d love to see ya, it wouldn’t be right to take all your time.” concluded Applejack.

“ Who says?” said Rainbow Dash, appearing at the window with Fluttershy. “ Hey, Pinkie and Rarity are coming up.”

“ You made it!” said Twilight, her face lighting up as she opened the window for her flying friends. They entered as Rarity and Pinkie galloped in, Twilights friends assembling around her.

“ Of course we did, Twilight!” said Rarity, sounding concerned.

“ W-we wouldn’t want to miss you.” said Fluttershy with a weak smile.

“ I brought cupcakes - I wrote “Goodbye but come back a bunch!” on each one!” said Pinkie Pie, holding up a tray of purple and pink treats.

Applejack smiled as the party for their departing friend bloomed from nowhere.

===========

At noon, the pegasus movers and the royal escort arrived.

At noon, the first problem of the day began.

“ You’re Twilight Sparkle?” said the unfortunately familiar griffon standing before the four royal guard pegasi. It was Gilda, but this time she was armored in royal guards garb. She sounded both surprised and chagrined, but the chagrin seemed directed mostly towards where a scowling Rainbow Dash stood.

“ Yes.” said Twilight with a nod. “ Gilda, right? You are -”

“ - was Dash’s friend.” said the griffon, her eyes narrowing.

“ N-no, I was going to say my bodyguard.” said Twilight in confusion, looking from Dash to Gilda. “ I remember you from the party, but I don’t really know what happened.”

“ It’s not important.” sighed Gilda, taking out a scroll and handing it to Twilight. “ Anyways, I’ve been assigned as your bodyguard for the next two years. My previous service was with the Hurricane Patrol and Everfree Security Squad.”

“ Wow, I didn’t know you were a cop!” said Pinkie Pie, appearing next to them with a goofy smile.

“ Soldier.” said Gilda with a death-glare that Pinkie Pie missed. “ Would you mind buzzing off? You ruined my last leave.”

“ Oh, okay!” said Pinkie. The pink pony turned and trotted off, making sounds like a bee.

“ Personal problems with your friends aside, I can promise I will do the utmost to keep you safe.” said Gilda, taking a haughty tone. “ My family has served the court as bodyguards for ten generations and only had one failure.”

“....the tapestry incident, I remember reading about that.” said Twilight, flinching. Gilda’s face ticked slightly. “ Well, I don’t think that was really your fault. I look forwards to working with you. Who will be my scribe?”

“ Ironically, you know her as well.” said Gilda with a little scowl. Out of the chariot carriage a familiar blue unicorn emerged, sans-robe-and-wizard-hat. She was now dressed in a blue court jacket and levitating a clipboard, looking awkward.

“ Trixie?” said Twilight in surprise.

“...the showbiz kinda went bust after the incident.” said the unicorn, looking embarrassed. “ So I applied to the court. I filled in for Fumblemare’s scribe for three months after she retired as a temp but Mrs. Fumblemare hired me full time a month ago.”

“ S-sorry to be so surprised, I just didn’t expect you.” said Twilight, reaching out for a hoofshake.

“ I-I prepared a list of other candidates available at the court.” said Trixie, awkwardly accepting the hoofshake and handing the clipboard over to Twilight. “ Lightbeam is the top choice, with twelve years experience as the scribe to the Minister of Weather. He’s available because of a broken wing that’s grounded him until next year, so he can’t help the minister, but he was also looking to transfer out of the weather ministry. I would personally suggest Mossbow. She and I started working at the same time but she’s had a better success record than I have. They currently have her in the Hall of Records, but she’s being squandered there so - “

“ Uh, wait, are you trying to get me to change to a different scribe?” asked Twilight in confusion. “ I haven’t even seen your work yet.”

“ I-I assumed....with the Incident and all....that you’d...”

“ If you were good enough for Mrs. Fumblemare, I’ll have to give you a decent chance.” said Twilight. “ And I was impressed by your magic during the .....”

Applejack was standing and listening, her surprise growing as Twilight slowly took over. As the movers filled the cart with her things she began to go over her schedule with Gilda and Trixie, her tone changing from friendly conversation to a authoritative-yet-pleasant instruction. Soon, she was going over Trixies initial duties, the blue unicorn furiously taking notes. She was to requisition this and that book, provide Twilight with copies of every project that the previous court mage had been working on, see to introducing Twilight to various ministers and nobles....

It had never struck Applejack what kind of background that Twilight had.

Rarity was a city pony, Rainbow Dash was from a weather control background but was looking to go into precision flying, and Applejack and Pinkie Pie were from working backgrounds. Twilight, on the other hand, had been groomed for government for years. Big mean Gilda was standing dutifully at attention - and Twilight was commanding it. Trixie had been here all of ten minutes but was working under Twilight as diligently as Spike. And then there was the fact that Spike and Owlowlcious had always been so carefully kept under Twilights hoof - she worked them hard but kept them friendly to her and happy.

It was no surprise now that Twilight had lead their little group of friends.

“ Now, final things. Gilda, I want a list of potential replacements for if you are injured or killed, both temporary and permanent, on my desk within the week. Recommending relatives is fine if you think they are up to the task. Trixie, I’m going to send Spike with you - you’ll be working together to get my office and organized. He’s been my number one assistant and might have a little trouble sharing duties, but he’ll come around soon enough. He’ll be acting as my page, so you don’t need to fill that position. When you two are finished with that, I want you to focus on the astronomy tower - he’s always been hopeless with the stars and I’ve noticed your background is in illusions and fortune telling - while he works on the enchantry. I’ll be taking the alchemy lab myself - I’ve fairly precise requirements there. Actually, make that a standing request - don’t clean or organize my alchemy lab unless I specifically ask you.”

“ Mm hm.” said Trixie, finishing her notes as Spike, looking a little grumpy, walked up.

“ So....you.” said Spike, standing in front of Trixie and looking up at her. The blue unicorn looked down, meeting his gaze. “ I’ve got my eye on you. No funny business like last time we saw you.”

“ I promise I’ll keep my stories in line as long as you don’t wake any Ursa.” said Trixie, matching Spike’s suspicious glare. “ You wouldn’t happen to be a meat eating dragon, would you?”

“ Please, I’m on a very sensitive diet.” said Spike, sounding affronted as he slapped his belly, which jiggled a little. “ Only the finest gemstones. And cake. And candy.”

“ Never been so much as tempted by a squirrel?” said Trixie, looking like she didn’t believe him. She and Spike glared for a moment, then marched off in separate directions, each muttering about “watching that untrustworthy peon.”

“ Final, final note, could you let Owlowlcious fly with you on the way back?” Twilight asked Gilda, gesturing to the sleepy looking owl. Gilda must have not noticed the bird before and her expression surprisingly softened. “ He’s not used to being up during the day and I’m afraid he’ll get lost.”

“ Don’t worry. He’ll get to Canterlot safely.” said Gilda with a salute. She lead Owlowlcious towards the carriage, cooing to him. “ Oh, whose a sleepy little bird? You are, aren’t you?”

Applejack rolled her eyes as the previously-fearsome Gilda reverted into foaltalk while playing with the puffy-eyed owl.

“...and I guess thats it.” said Twilight, her bolder and more forceful demeanor vanishing as the crowd dispersed. She turned to Applejack, looking sad and afraid. “ I-I guess this is it, Applejack.”

“ Well, not quite.” said Applejack, walking over and putting a re-assuring hoof on Twilights shoulder. “ Ah said ah’d help you move, didn’ ah? An’ with those movers here I didn’ carry a single thing! How about ah come with you ta’ Canterlot for a few days.”

“ R-really?” said Twilight, her eyes lighting up. “ I-I’d love to take you! I can introduce you to my parents and show you my favorite stores and places around the capital!”

“ Well, that jes’ sound delightful, Twilight!” said Applejack, giving her friend a wide smile. “ Ah’ll send a letter to Big Macintosh though Spike later so mah family knows where ah am. They won’t miss me, what with Applebloom seeing her friends and Big Macintosh - “

“ Oh, oh, you’ve heard too?” said Twilight, smiling and giggling.

“ Yep - an’ it’s true.” said Applejack, glad she’d distracted her worried friend. “ He an’ Ditzy Doo are an’ item - not sure how serious, but thats the word.”

As the two friends said their goodbyes and entered the carriage, the world seemed a little brighter.

Having never really been to Canterlot, Applejack was rather excited.

True, she’d gone there during the Gala and to help deal with Discord. But the Gala had only shown her the palace ballroom and the fight with Discord had taken them to the garden maze, after which things were fuzzy for a while.

But this time? She was going to get a whirlwind tour from a local bigwig.

“ Heck, I jes’ realized!” said Applejack in shock, holding onto her hat as she looked out the carriage window. “ Twilight! Where are we stayin’?”

“ The palace, of course!” said Twilight proudly. “ My personal quarters are there - ooh, I hope that they kept my room - and as the court mage I have several rooms set aside for visitors!”

“ An’ who says the govenment ain’t a friend of the common pony.” laughed Applejack, watching at the mountaintop city grew closer. “ Hey! Ah can see that crazy garden!”

“ It’ll be a little bit before I go back to the maze.” said Twilight with a soft laugh. “ I never used to like it much anyways, but after last time - “

“ Let’s just skip it on the tour, shall we?” chuckled Applejack and she drew her head back inside. “ So, Twilight, whats the court mage do, anyhoo? Can’t Celestia jes’ magic up anything she needs done?”

“ Well, yes and no.” said Twilight, pursing her lips. Applejack could tell she was trying to find a way to explain it in earth pony terms, not Unicorn mumbo-jumbo. “ Princess Celestia and Luna are really, really powerful. But moving the sun and the moon take a ton of that power. Nopony saw Celestia outside of Canterlot much because of the focus it takes until Luna came back. Thats one of the reasons we’ve seen her so much. Now that Luna can cover for her, she’s taking a lot of breaks to see her country.”

“ A good vacation after a long seasons always fine.” said Applejack, nodding to indicate she understood.

“ Now, even then, they can’t exert too much magic because they have to be ready for an emergency.” continued Twilight. “ That leaves most of the serious magic to the court mage. If somepony in the court needs to be teleported to a distant land, thats my job. If the ancient scrolls and prophecies need to be decoded, thats my job. If some magical problem is affecting the kingdom, thats my job. And, most importantly, if something was to happen to the Princess - I guess Princesses, now - it’s my job to keep the sun and moon on course while the royal guard try and fix the situation.”

“ You can do that?” said Applejack in surprise. “ Lordy, ah knew you were powerful, Twilight - “

“ I can’t do it indefinitely, like the Princesses.” said Twilight quickly. “ It’d be an emergency. Thats one reason it’s so nice to have Luna back, it halves the chances of something going wrong.”

“....has it happened?” asked Applejack, growing a little concerned. “ History was never mah best class in school.”

“ Only twice.” said Twilight, sounding confident. “ Once, Princess Celestia fell ill and Crystalhoof the Wise had to raise the sun for three days. He...he passed away once the Princess took back over. The magic involved is too powerful for a unicorn, even one strong enough to be the court mage. The other time was when Princess Celestia was missing after defeating the dragoness Rotgut. She was trying to nest near Trottingham and had eaten a number of ponies. Celestia won, but Rotgut used a final blast of fire to send her to the depths of the earth. It took her almost two days to return to the surface. Lady Whitemane only had to raise the moon twice and the sun once - Crystalhoof had to do each three times - so she survived and recovered in a few months.”

Applejack frowned. She wasn’t the most learned of ponies, but knew that most dragons fire just burned things. She’d known about where Twilight had gotten Spike, but had wondered about where Spikes egg came from in the first place.

“ Anyways, it’s not worth worrying about.” said Twilight, notcing Applejacks face. “ It’s happened twice in a thousand years and now we’ve got Luna back.”

“ Well, then, ah’ll jes’ put it out of mah mind.” said Applejack, smiling back at Twilight.

They landed soon and departed, the servants taking Twilights luggage and Trixie and Spike rushing off - racing each other, really - to get to work. Twilight had no duties for the day until she was to be announced at the palace dinner, so she was theoretically free.

Theoretically, it turned out, meant she was incredibly busy.

“ I’ve got to go and introduce myself casually to each of the ministries.” explained Twilight as she lead Applejack into the palace, Gilda following respectfully behind. There was no crowd of nobleponies and guests today, though there were some servants at work and a number of scribes and pages rushing around to their various tasks. “ And the guard captains, the head of staff, the chamberlain, the keeper of the Hall of Records, the head of the Academy of Magic, the kitchen staff - “

“ The kitchen staff?” said Applejack, brow furrowing in confusion.

“ I’ve got to show that I don’t think of them as just servants.” explained Twilight, indicating a maid cleaning one of the stairwells. “ It’s the polite thing to do and if I don’t I’ll find it harder to work with them. I’ve got to avoid insulting them or there could be months of work ahead to repair my standing - and months of slightly off-seasoned soup and weak tea.”

“....an’ your basically doin’ the same thing with the ministries, ain’tcha?” asked Applejack, trying to follow along.

“ Of course - and therein lies the next problem.” said Twilight, leading Applejack up a flight of steps that was three times taller than Sweet Apple Acres barn. A dozen different hallways branched off of it, each full of doors and the sounds of conversation and work. “ I’ve got to do so casually enough to not appear to be currying favor but formally enough not to insult them into thinking I think they are not worth my focus - “

“ - ah, but Twilight Sparkle, who could be insulted by you?”

Applejack forced herself not to grimace at the familiar voice. Twilight turned her focus to an arriving unicorn Applejack recognized with contempt - Prince Blueblood. He was not gussied up for the Gala today - no, today he was gussied up for today. A long cloak, a chestplate with his cutie mark on it, and his famous immaculate flowing hair.

Applejack wanted to buck him right off the side of a cliff.

“ Oh, Prince Blueblood! Its been some time!” said Twilight, going from conversation to royal chatter in an instant. “ I was explaining to my friend Applejack in intricacies of the court of Canterlot - she’s of Ponyville and has never truly experienced the court.”

“ Oh, I know of Ms. Applejack.” said the Prince with what might have been a polite smile. “ If I may have your hoof?” he asked, turning to her.

Applejack awkwardly stuck out a hoof and nearly shrieked with the Prince took it and kissed it.

“ Ah, but we rarely get a rustic beauty like yourself in Canterlot!” said the Prince, his tone full of good faith. Applejack was confused as she took her hoof back, feeling the spot the Prince had kissed. The last time she’d met him he’d called her a commoner and insulted her food. Now, he complimented her on being “rustic”? Applejack was suspicious - after what she’d heard of him from Rarity she didn’t trust his pretty teeth one bit. “ The harvest must be over and the farmlands settled for winter, correct?”

“ Uh...yeah.” said Applejack awkwardly, glancing to Twilight.

“ Fascinating stuff, farming.” said the Prince, turning to Twilight. “ I’ve only even personally seen a farm once myself. Rows and rows of cabages, far as the eye could see - I was on my way to Stalliongrad to inspect the Destriders stationed there and attend the Eastern Tourney. I’ve never had a hoof for it, myself - Granny once gave me a rare hibiscus as a gift and the poor thing wilted almost as soon as I took it!”

“ Oh, but I must be going.” said Twilight, sounding disappointed. “ I’ll be needing to visit the Minister of Weather next - I’ve a personal message I must deliver before I begin my rounds. We’ll see you at the tilt tomorrow, I trust?”

“ Oh, they can stop me from competing, but they can’t keep me from attending!” laughed the Prince, kneeling slightly to excuse them. “ I’ll have Granny save you the seat on her left - that was always your favorite side.”

They departed ways and once they were out of sight down a towering marble hall, Twilight let out a sigh.

“....I hate that guy.” she muttered, leading the way. Behind them, Gilda said nothing, but managed to communicate the same sentiment by clacking her claws aggressively on the ancient tile floors. “ Remember what a prick he was to Rarity? That was surprisingly low on the douche-ometer for him. He can’t stand me either - I’ve had a much better rapport with Princess Celestia for years.”

“....then why were y’all so polite?”

“ Douchey as he is, he’s nopony to mess with.” sighed Twilight, turning down yet another hallway, this time with a ornate cloud-pattern carpet and tapestries of storms and sunsets. Statues of pegasi lined the hall, standing as towering giants that held up the ceiling with outstretched wings. “ He’s witty and resourceful and in charge of the Destriders - thats the unicorn branch of the royal guard - and a monster at the joust.”

“ Joustin’....right, thats the unicorn sport.” said Applejack, looking at the monumental sculptures in amazement. “ Never understood why y’all don’t jes’ go for hoofball like the rest of us.”

Gilda scoffed.

“ Oh, and you’d obviously be for beakball, right?” said Applejack, turning to face Gilda. “ Well, some sport that is - you griffons are so proud of it, but you only play each other in it!”

“....it’s kinda hard for you ponies to play without beaks.” said Gilda, her tone becoming pointed.

“ Before you kill each other in the hall, I’ve got a meeting.” said Twilight, retaking their attention and indicating a door that had an ancient gold placard on it which read “ Minister of Weather”. “ Applejack, I’d like you to tag along today. I’ll be acting as if I’m showing you the palace - it’s a better excuse than just wandering around - so nopony will be able to monopolize my time or be insulted if I leave early. Is that all right?”

“ AH guess ah signed up for this.” said Applejack with a shrug. As Twilight turned, she and Gilda shot each other a nasty glare.

The day was one of the longest and most confusing of Applejacks life. Twilight had to meet with dozens upon dozens of ponies ( and a few griffons, diamond dogs, and two two separate heads of a three headed dragon ) and chat with them, making plans for the future and promising things such as charming hall to warn of the approach of Prince Blueblood or enchant a pen to fill itself with ink. Applejack couldn’t see how Twilight would have any time free for the next ten years with everything she had to do.

Just as strange were the courts guards. The guard pegasi flew about, escorting carriages and patrolling the skies. The earth ponies patrolled the grounds and met in large rooms, pouring over table-sized maps and comparing strategies and plans and discussing designed for armor and fortifications. She only saw the unicorns once - though a window she glimpsed a large field outside where the galloped in formation, drilling as if war was to arrive at any moment.

Each faction seemed to be in cooperation and competition at the same time. They seemed to be working on the same projects while trying to outdo each other, their pride seemingly on the line for things such as delivering a letter or keeping watch over an abandoned hall. The other bodyguards got into a strange competition with Gilda - while Twilight and their charges talked, the bodyguards stood motionless, looking gruff, as if trying to look more protective than the other.

Applejack was glad Big Macintosh had decided against joining the army - he wasn’t one for anything overcomplicated and would likely have been drummed out.

Trixie and Spike returned several times, taking notes from Twilight and returning with letters from other nobles. Other messengers stepped in, introducing themselves and delivering scrolls. Things were signed and read, dotted and summarized, re-sent and initialed with a furious pace.

Twilight took in in stride - No, Applejack thought it was easier than that. Twilight Sparkle didn’t even think of it. It was as natural to her as applebucking was to the Apple family. Twilight Sparkle was born, bred, and raised for this.

It intimidated Applejack.

“ And now we’ve to get prepared for dinner.” said Twilight as they exited the chambers of the Healer Generals office, the last stop for the day. “ I’m famished - what about you?”

“...uh, I don’t think you’ll want me at your fancy dinner, Twilight.” said Applejack, growing uncomfortable - at least, more uncomfortable. She wanted to rest her aching hooves and tilt back a few ciders. Hard ones. Followed by whiskey. “ Mah manners are, uh, bad. And I wasn’t much for the food at the Gala.”

“ Oh.” said Twilight, looking a little saddened by this. “ Oh, you don’t want to make a scene or embarrass me, thats what you mean! You wouldn’t - “

“ Ah kinda think ah would.” said Applejack quickly. “ No offense, Twilight. Ah jes’ aint confortable with all that hobbing’ and knobbin’. It’s got all those fancy rules and customs and, well, ah fed pigs today. I fed them moldy buckets of slop. Ah ain’t meant for Canterlots fancy halls.”

“ Well, come back around eight then.” said Twilight, accepting her friends decision. “ I’ll have my page - I mean, Spike, I’ll have Spike direct you to my offices. I’ve actually got a little surprise for you as a thank-you for coming.”

“ Anyplace around a pony can get a drink and some hayfries?” asked Applejack, returning her friends polite smile.

“....hm....Well, theres the Orange Grill in the Silver district.” said Twilight, thinking for a few moments. “ It’s not like the cafes in Ponyville, but they make their hayfries crispy like you like them and the prices are low - not to say your poor or anything, but - “

“ Nothin’ doin’!” said Applejack with a laugh. “ Sweet Apple Acres ain’t had a bumper year like this year in ages and our bust years are better than mos’ farms bumpers! An’ anyways, I’d forgotten - some of mah cousins, the Oranges, live in town! That’s probably their grill!”

“ Well, good luck!” said Twilight, waving goodbye. She trotted off, Gilda clanking along with her. “ And don’t forget! Be back at eight!”

====

The Oranges hadn’t recognized Applejack, but had met Granny Smith, so they’d welcomed Applejack readily enough. At most any other time in her life, Applejack would have felt awkward with the higher-class side of her family.

Tonight? As she finished her third - and final - margarita, compliments of the house? She felt at home. She’d eaten fru-fru foods, drunk high-falutin drinks, and talked fancy talk, and yet it felt more natural. One of the Oranges had talked about business, not in the “oh, you farm? how quaint?” sort of way, but as a fellow working pony - he’d left the family planation but still remembered it fondly. They talked of the family, old relatives, and the weather.

It didn’t matter that the hayfries were crap. In fact, that was almost comforting.

Applejack sighed as the clock inched its way along, warning her it was time to get going. She didn’t want to get going. She wanted to see Twilight, but not the palace. Perhaps the next day Twilight would be able to show her around town - Applejack would love to see the museums and galleries - but the rest of the night was probably going to be more of that afternoon - walking, talking, and being used as a prop.

As she trotted into the castle and found Spike waiting, two scrolls tucked under his arm, she almost regretted coming with Twilight. She steeled herself as she approached the important little lizard - she was here as a comfort to Twilight, not to have fun.

“ Howdy.” she said, coming to a halt by Spike. “ How was dinner?”

“ It coulda gone better - my uncle Irontail was glad to see me back and let Twilight weigh in on the diamond exchange and finally agreed to settle the inflation rates - he’s been fussing about with details on that for ten years - but when Lord Oakhart proposed a new highway expansion things got a bit muddled - everyone hates his plans and started arguing. Twilight was able to redirect some focus onto needs for the Academy of Magic and got a promise from the head of the Ministry of Education to review their finances. Oh, and Count Blackhoof and Twilight - he’s gross and old, but an alright guy - had a long conversation about the current state of security around the Everfree. He’s been reducing the budget on the Everfree Security Squad but when he heard of the increase in manticore and cockatrice attacks he agreed to increase - “

“ Wait, wait, wait.” said Applejack, shushing him. “ The Mayor’s asked for more funding for security for that a dozen times. Y’all mean to tell me Twilight got it over dinner?”

“....when else would you get it?” said Spike, looking confused.

“....you know, business hours.” said Applejack, gesturing around. “ When we were runnin’ around talking to everybody.”

“ Oh. OH.” said Spike, something clicking. “ Oh, and come on. We gotta be going.” He turned and directed her up another - groan - giant staircase. She followed as he continued. “ That might be how you do things in the real world, but here in Canterlot, it’s all done when we’re eating. See, everyone important is in the same room. That way, everyone can weigh in and complain or help. That means if you have some little pet project and can get enough attention - a fascinating story, a success in the family, a decent scandal - “

“ A decent scandal?” repeated Applejack, jaw dropping a little.

“ You know, a closed-door romance or declaration of blood feud. Something low key but stunning.” said Spike with a shrug. “ Anyways, you get attention, you’ve got like hundreds of ponies - and dragons and stuff - with the ability to make it happen. Like Lord Oakhart - nopony likes his plans. But he brings them up at dinner? He’ll get a few who think it’s a good idea anyways. And Twilight and the Minister of Lunches needed the airtime, so they threw in their lot to shut him up - she’ll be scrying the lands for the best forepony for the job and the Minister will be re-directing assets from the Deep-Core Excavation project to the highway agencies.”

“ Minister of Lunches?”

“ He’s in charge of all the government kitchens activities between nine-thirty and two-forty-five.”

As they walked down another hall, Applejack took the chance to hit her head on a stone column, hoping it would make her forget what she’d just heard so she could keep her sanity. It didn’t work.

“ Anyways, here we are!” said Spike, indicating a long, unadorned hall. “ Decorations go up tomorrow. We’re doing the support columns in scrolls - make it have that magic zazz, ya know? - and the tapestries are on order. It’s gonna be a bunch of the famous unicorn mages from the ages with Starswirl the Bearded front and center. He’s one of Twilight’s ancestors, so it’s important to bring him up.”

“ SO, whats this surprise?” asked Applejack, walking past him. The door to Twilights office - it was the only one of twenty doors with a label, which was done in gleaming, ancient looking gold - opened to reveal Trixie and Twilight. Twilight was in a regal-looking dinnergown - lower key than her gala affair but of the same style, a true Rarity original. “ Wow, Twilight, don’t tell me you ordered a full wardrobe from Rarity already.”

“ No, I did that months ago.” said Twilight, smiling and gesturing for Applejack to enter. “ After the Gala, I was complimented by a number of ponies, so I contracted Rarity to be my personal tailor when this came to happen. Didn’t expect it so soon, but she had a few ready just in case.”

Twilight’s office was still full of boxes, though several desks were already covered in spellbooks and scrolls. One box in particular caught Applejacks eye - it was a silver dress-box with Rarity’s seal on it, but the ribbon sealing it were in the colors of Applejacks coat and mane.

“....don’ tell me your gunna make me dress up.” said Applejack, eyes going wide.

“ ‘fraid so.” said Twilight with a nervous and apologetic smile. “ I had you invited to dessert as my personal guest.”

“.....fine, fine.” sighed Applejack, taking off her hat. She couldn’t weasel out of her friends hospitality for forever. “ Uh, Gilda ain’t around, is she? Ah’ve heard a few things from Dash and ah ain’t comfortable changing with her around.”

There was the clank of armor from above. Applejack spun and looked up to find that Gilda had been waiting on a perch above the door, hidden to sight by visitors. Somepony at Twilights desk could see her, but if you’d just entered the room.

“ Relax, sweet-flanks.” said Gilda, hopping down. “ If it doesn’t have wings I’m not into it. Ms. Sparkle, I’ll be outside.”

“ Thanks.” said Twilight with a nod. Gilda, Spike, and Trixie departed, leaving a blushing Applejack as the door shut.

One change of clothing later and Spike was leading her and Twilight back into the palace depths. This time, Applejack recognized where she was going - the palace throne room. One there they turned into a smaller side-chamber where a number of ponies were already seated at a large, long rounded table. Twilight was lead to a seat on Celestia’s left, with a second pillow beside her for Applejack. On the right of Celestia was Luna, then Prince Blueblood.

The room was made considerably smaller by the presence of the three-headed dragon and a huge diamond dog seated directly across from Applejack. He glared with one white eye at her, but it didn’t seem like he was really directing it at her - more than likely, the glare was the only face he could make.

“ Thank you all for attending.” said Princess Celestia, bowing to the assembled. Applejack was NOT comfortable with having a Princess bow to her, even if it wasn’t truly directed AT her. “ Tonights dessert will be a special one. It will be apple pie made with apples from my personal garden - and I even baked them myself.”

Applejacks eyes bulged as a jovial little murmur went around the room.

As the servants filed in and set the slices were set in front of each seated individual, Applejack felt nervous. She tried not to fidget. She tried to look calm and amused like the assembled nobles. But she wasn’t. She was about to eat an apple pie baked by the princess. With the princesses own gardening and baking skills on the line. Now, Applejack was sure they’d be fine - by any other ponies standards.

But the Apple families standards?

She’d had apple pies that others had raved about and nearly vomited. It was a side effect of being raised an Apple - you knew Apples. You know good and bad and best. You knew how to cook and raise and season and spice them. And you became a gourmet. Soon, you developed little tics - Big Macintosh, for example, had to slice an apple from the widest point on the first slice before mushing it for applesauce or else it tasted wrong. He wasn’t incorrect - when he made applesauce his way, it glittered like the stars themselves had been mixed in. Applebloom had taken to only eating whole apples from the west side of trees - she liked the taste of the evening sun in her apple skins.

Applejacks tic came to her tastes in apple-flavored liquors, but she had some minor ones in pies and tarts.

As the assembled began to easy, she reached for her fork, praying, praying that Celestia had made two slits in the top of the pie instead of three. Praying that she’d used a sterling silver knife when cutting the apples. Not even daring to hope that the apples had been kept at room temperature for three and a half minutes before being sliced.

She took a bite.

It wasn’t half bad for an apple pie. The caramelization had gone well and there was a good play between the flakyness of the crust and the sauce of the pie.

When she spit it out, she hit the diamond dog in his good eye.

“ Well, I never!” said a pink-dressed mare as the assembled ponies gasped. Two of the three heads of the dragon looked shocked - the other, bonneted head had fainted and was being fanned by several servants. Luna looked amused while Celestia had a look of ire on her face.

“.....sorry.” said Applejack, wiping her mouth. More gasps - Applejack realized she’d used the decorative napkin instead of the one the servant pony behind her had been offering. “ A-ahm just used to better pie.”

The room went silent.

“ N-not that it’s a bad pie!” said Applejack in alarm, turning to Princess Celestia while Luna stifled a laugh. Celestia had her eyes closed and her mouth pulled tight, but a bulging vein on her brow gave her away. “ It just had a few problems!”

“...oh, really?” said Celestia, trying to sound pleasant. She sounded like she was preparing a Moon Banishment spell. “ Tell me, what were they? I’d like to avoid offending others palets in the future.”

Applejack felt the color drain from her face.

“ Go on.” said Twilight, poking her in the ribs. “ She’d like to hear it.”

“ F-f-f-f-f-f-irst.” said Applejack, struggling to speak. “ T-the butter used in the crust wasn’t prime.”

“ ....and second?” asked Luna, taking a bite herself and washing it down with a sip of wine. Across from them the diamond dog had finished wiping his face off.

“ Uh, well, the apples were not fully mature. Y’all picked them about three hours early - ya can tell the exact timing if you watch the grass at the base of the tree. It’ll drift slightly east at the exact right time. They wern’t cut right - sterling silver knives, three to six inches in length, freshly sharpened at least two uses before - or nothin’. You also needed to make the slices a little more even - they’re all uneven which ruins the consistency by makin’ the tounge re-adjust to each piece.”

The guests had gone from tittering in shock to silent and Princess Celestia’s eyes were wide, her anger vanishing.

“ Now, the real success was the crust and sauce. You did good by only making two slits for the steam - ah can taste the moisture, so ah can tell - but they need to be at a slightly widening angle from each other. One ends must be at two length apart, the other at one-and-an-eighth lengths apart. Granny Smith could tell you exactly how far - she’s the pie expert. Now, in the sauce you might want to add a little salt, but it was basically right - good sugar, not too much cinnamon, and the caramel was properly distributed where the apple-slices were more even sizes. Uh, I shoulda mentioned earlier, don’t use magic to peel the skin. Sterling silver knife again. It’s a little more work, but y’all can tell when magic is used because it leaves a little tingle in your teeth.”

Applejack then turned to the pie on her plate, taking her fork and knife and dissecting it like a patient in surgery.

“ The most glaring problem is unfortunately the apples. Ah know ya can’t do much after they’re picked, but these didn’t grow quite right. You need a fresher manure on the tree during the mid-to late spring and it don’t taste like you’ve treated the bark to well. That’ll show up in the apple and hurt crops around picking time - if the barks in bad shape it can spread to the stalks which makes them prone to dropping. Not that you used any groundapples in this, but jes’ something to think about. Now, for pruning the end of the year flowers, y’all should use copper-jacketed steel shears. See, these apples grew from fine flowers - even if they were pollinated by somewhat scraggly bees. Might wanta look into getting their queen a bite to eat, ‘cause they were taking a bit too much nectar - but they got the taste of tungsten shears on them. Tungsten's fine for large branchwork, but on the fruit-bearing limbs it’ll ruin the flavor.”

“ Oh my.” said Celestia, glancing to a scribe who appeared to be writing everything down.

“ Next comes the plate. See, these fancy china plates are great for cookies and cakes, but pies don’t benefit from them. Ya want crockware, shaded a level darker and two tints redder than the pies desired crust color. The shine from this china overtakes the sparkle of the liquid sugar and messes with the initial assessment - your tongue don’t have enough time to water because you can’t see how tasty it’s gonna be. This’ll offset the entire thing, no matter how good of a job you do making the pie. Good silverware, though - sterling silver, five parts iron to two steel to three silver, calcium reintroduced during the cooling process via water impurities. Uh, ah guess thats it. Like ah said, y’all need to ask Granny Smith if you want the real assessment. Booze is more of mah thing - uh, I guess I should try the wine.”

The silence was deafening.

===========

“ An’ now ah’ve made an ass of mahself infront of the entire govenment.” said Applejack, her head held in her hooves. She’d collapsed on Twilights desk the moment they’d left dessert. Applejack had done her best to stay invisible during the next hour as the nobles talked of the pie, the spittake, and the qualities of sterling-silver cutlery. Twilight had captured the attention of the Princessess for almost the entire time, but Applejacks ears had been burning too much to hear a word.

“ Um...not quite.” said Twilight, shutting the door behind her. “ Princess Celestia was quite impressed with your knowledge of apples - “

“ Don’ patronize me.” moaned Applejack, not moving.

“ - well, she was. And she’d like you to take a look at the tree in her garden when she’s had a chance to work on it some. Oh, and Princess Luna’s decided to make Sweet Apple Acres the defacto supplier of apples for all events in her honor here in Canterlot.”

Applejack sat up so fast she ripped her dress.

“ What?” was all she could ask as Twilight smiled.

“ Princess Celestia’s always kept the foods close to home - the castle grounds has it’s own farms which provide most of it’s needs. But Luna’s looking to open things up a little bit. She’s already chosen several farms specifically - her sort of seal of approval - and she’d basing it on a rather informal process. See, she likes craftsponies to take as much pride in their work as she does in the stars - “

“ So, what y’all just said is that you used me as a tool in your political games....to further y’alls goals....of helpin’ us sell more apples?”

“ ....uh, kinda, yeah.” said Twilight awkwardly. “ And, um, the local apples just aren’t as good as your farms.”

“ Twilight, ah could kiss you.” said Applejack, sitting back on the pillow.

“ Aaaand now I’m uncomfortable.” quipped Gilda from her perch above.

“ Sorry about....um....all that.” said Twilight, trotting over. “ I just...um...see, if you knew, you wouldn’t have spit the pie. And if you hadn’t, nopony would have noticed.”

“....speaking of that.” said Applejack, sitting back up. “ The, um, diamond dog. Hows, uh, he gunna take that?”

“....well, he’ll probably declare a minor war or something.” said Twilight, giving a shrug. “ But we’ve got plenty of soldiers.”

Applejack sputtered. She was about to freak out when she saw Twilight was laughing.

“ Aw, now ah’m getting a little mad.” said Applejack, a smile cracking on her face. “ Really, what’s he gunna do?”

“ Duke Ripper’s really a sweet tempered old dog.” said Twilight, unstrapping her dress. “ When he’s drunk. And at dinner he had six goblets of porter. He won’t care until tomorrow and by tomorrow, he won’t remember a thing.”

“....you’ve been gone a year, Twilight.” said Applejack in reverent amazement. “ But it’s like y’all never left, ain’t it? You know everypony and every move to make. How do you do that?”

“ Remember when I asked how you got every apple on a tree to fall into a bushel at once, even if they had to fall a little sideways?” said Twilight with a shrug. “ Its kinda like that. Ah can’t explain in, ah can jes’ do it.”

The two friends laughed and changed, looking to spend the remainder of the evening relaxing.