Driving Lessons

by Not-Yet-A-Brony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Flash Sentry, Slice of Life, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2148

Flash Sentry teaches Derpy how to drive a car.

In the human world, Flash Sentry teaches Derpy how to drive a car. It goes as well as you think...

Published 2016-12-16 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-16 06:00:01 UTC

Driving Lessons

Morning…

“Adjust your seat and mirror?” asked Flash Sentry.

“Yes,” answered Derpy.

“Seatbelt on?” he inquired.

“Got it,” she affirmed.

Flash and Derpy went over the driver safety checklist as they sat inside Flash’s pony car in the middle of the empty parking lot. They were practicing for Derpy’s driving test which was coming up in a few weeks. When Derpy asked Flash to help her prepare for the upcoming test, he had agreed to help her practice her driving skills. Despite Derpy’s reputation as the class klutz, Flash wanted to help his friend get her driver’s license. As one of the few students in Canterlot High School who could drive, he had decided that they would use his car for driving lessons.

“Now, where do you place your hands on the wheel?” Flash quizzed Derpy.

For a moment, Derpy seemed lost as she tried to recall what Flash had taught her earlier. Her eyes lit up as she remembered.

“The ten o’clock,” she said as she placed her left hand on the steering wheel. “And the two o’clock,” she finished as she placed her right hand.

“Good,” Flash confirmed. So far, everything was proceeding smoothly.

“Can I turn on the radio?” Derpy asked.

Well, almost smoothly…

“No,” Flash answered, “Now you remember which ones are the gas and the brake?”

Derpy paused as she looked down at the pedals and tried to remember which one was which.

“This one,” Derpy pointed to right pedal. “And that one,” she pointed to the left pedal.

“Now remember, they’re very sensitive,” Flash explained, “Just give it a little tap-”

At that moment, Derpy pressed on the gas…

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

…and the car zoomed across the parking lot!

“WHOOOOAAAAAAAAA!” Flash and Derpy yelled in fright. The sudden acceleration caused them to get thrown back into their seat as the car rocketed across the pavement.

“BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE!” Flash yelled.

Derpy pressed the brake, causing the car to screech to a sudden halt. The two passengers lurched forward from the abrupt stop and got thrown back into their seat by their seatbelts. Flash and Derpy sat still in shock, their eyes wide and hearts racing.

Despite the jolt, Derpy gave a sheepish grin.

“How was that?” she asked. Shaken, Flash relaxed after a moment.

“Perfect,” he answered, although his confidence in his friend’s driving skills was beginning to wane. “Now see how careful you have to be?”

Flash then gestured to the front of the car. “And how much closer we are to the dumpsters?”

Derpy looked forward and saw how close they were to crashing into the dumpsters in front of them. Despite the close call, she gave a bright and hopeful look.

“This is actually kind of fun,” Derpy giggled innocently, “Can I turn on the radio now?”

“No!” Flash cried. He then calmed down at the sight of Derpy’s stunned expression.

“Okay,” he said calmly, “why don’t you turn the wheels slightly to the left.”

Derpy proceeded to follow his direction.

“And very gently,” Flash continued, “press down on-”

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

“WHOOOOAAAAAAAAA!”

Again, the car sped off as Derpy pressed on the accelerator. This time, the car went around in a tight circle in the middle of the parking lot. Flash and Derpy yelled and hung on for their dear lives as they spun out of control.

“WHOOOOAAAAAAAAA! BRAKE! BRAKE! BRAKE!”

An hour later…

“Not yet, not yet,” Flash cautioned as Derpy sat beside him. Cars passed by right and left ahead of them.

Flash and Derpy idled at the intersection, waiting for the cross-traffic to open up. After a few false starts and close calls, they had moved on to letting Derpy drive solo.

“Okay, wait for the traffic to clear,” Flash instructed, “and then turn into the left lane.”

Derpy quickly nodded and was about to start just as another wave of cars passed by.

“Not yet, not yet!” Flash winced.

Beside him, Derpy waited in anticipation for an opening to start her left turn. After a moment, the traffic briefly opened up.

“Okay…go,” Flash signaled, quietly hoping that they would survive the turn.

Derpy then slowly started forward across the intersection, just as the traffic quickly approached their left.

“Hurry,” Flash urged with a growing sense of panic in his voice, “Hurry, hurry, hurry-!”

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

Derpy accelerated as she abruptly made her left turn, causing Flash to hold on tightly in the passenger seat. Fortunately, Derpy was able to complete her turn, just barely avoiding the approaching cars as they honked past her. Beside her, Flash sat still in fright. After a moment he relaxed, relieved that they have survived another close call.

“Alright, good,” he breathed in relief, “Good. Well done.”

“Thank you,” Derpy said proudly. She then turned her attention to the radio and turned it on.

Flash looked at her in alarm as music filled the interior.

“Hey! What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

“What? I love this music!” she happily answered. She started to sing along with the music when Flash interrupted her.

“Turn it off!” Flash said sternly, “Concentrate on the road!”

“Why?” Derpy asked quizzically, “You listen to the radio while you drive.”

“I’m an experienced driver,” Flash answered, giving Derpy a stern look. “Turn. It. Off.”

Pouting, Derpy complied and turned the radio off. Awkward silence returned inside the car.

For the next several minutes, Derpy drove without a word while Flash remained alert for any trouble. So far, they did not encounter any further problems as they continued down the road.

However, that was about to change as they approached the next intersection. Flash was just beginning to relax when he saw the approaching traffic light.

“Yellow light,” Flash signaled, expecting Derpy to slow down. However, she was so lost in her own little world that she didn’t immediately comprehend his warning. The car continued going forward at the same speed. Flash’s eyes went wide again as the intersection quickly approached. “Yellow light,” he warned again, “Yellow light!”

This time, Derpy snapped out of her daydream and frantically looked ahead, eyes wide, as she approached the intersection. However, instead of slowing down, she sped up and drove towards the intersection with a determined look on her face.

Flash looked on with impending terror.

“Slow down!” he continued to shout hysterically, “Slow down! SLOW DOWN!”

Despite Flash’s increasingly frantic pleas, Derpy continued to drive the car past the lanes and right across the intersection. Flash cringed and closed his eyes as he waited for the inevitable collision.

Instead, Derpy was barely able to cross the intersection just as the lights turned red. She then abruptly turned the wheel to the right and stopped the car next to the curb. She turned to Flash with a scowl on her cross-eyed face.

“Okay! I’ve just had it with you!” Derpy shouted, “Now if you don’t quit it, I’m going to turn this car around and nobody’s going out for muffins!”

Stunned, Flash gave Derpy a look. After an awkward moment, she smiled and giggled.

“I’ve always wanted to say that!” she laughed.

Unamused, Flash rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Just drive,” he said, which she promptly did.

For the next several minutes, their drive went on smoothly until they reached another intersection. They stopped at the red light.

“Alright,” Flash pointed to the left turn lane, “take that next left turn.”

As the light turned green, Derpy proceeded to make her left turn…

HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

…and drive right into the opposing traffic lane!

Flash and Derpy both stared wide-eyed in shock and terror.

“WATCH OUT!” Flash yelled in alarm, “CAR! CAR! CAR!”

Ahead of them, oncoming traffic honked and swerved to the sides to avoid hitting them. Flash and Derpy screamed at the top of their lungs as they continued down the opposing lane.

HOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Screaming, Derpy wildly swerved left and right as she tried to avoid a head-on collision with the oncoming traffic. Flash screamed as he gripped his seat, his face turning white at the oncoming terror.

After several terrifying seconds, Derpy quickly turned right back onto the correct lane, barely avoiding a head-on collision with an oncoming truck. Settling into a lane and slowing down, she continued driving on, despite being shaken by her near-disastrous mistake.

Derpy turned to Flash with an apologetic expression on her face.

“I’m so sorry, Flash!” she quickly apologized, “I just don’t know what went wrong!”

Flash sat still beside her in shell-shocked silence, his hands gripping the seat tightly and his face pale with terror. They have had one too many close calls with catastrophe. Flash silently hoped that they will be able to complete and survive the rest of the drive without any more trouble.

However, the day would prove anything but that…

Several hours later…

Sunset Shimmer walked towards the entrance of Canterlot High School. She was meeting with her friends for their weekly study group. She was about to open the doors when she heard a clunking sound behind her. Puzzled, Sunset turned around…

Her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide at the sight before her.

Earlier, Flash Sentry had told her that he was going to help Derpy prepare for her driving test. Despite Sunset’s misgivings, Flash was insistent on using his own car to help Derpy with her driving practice. Now, it looked like Flash was going to regret his decision.

Driving in front of the school was the crumpled remains of Flash’s signature pony car. The bumpers, hood, roof, side view mirrors, and doors were torn off; the paintjob was scratched up; the windows were shattered; all four tires were flat and the wheels were out of alignment; motor oil leaked out from underneath; and smoke and steam were coming out of the engine block. What was left of the car was just a barely-functional wreck.

Sunset continued to stare as the car finally clunked to a stop. Flash sat still in the passenger seat in traumatized silence with a thousand-yard stare on his face. Beside him in the driver’s seat, Derpy sat with an excited and happy expression on her face. Despite the state of the car, she looked like she had the time of her life.

“That was so fun!” Derpy exclaimed giddily as she stepped out of the driver seat. She turned back towards Flash, who unsteadily exited the passenger seat.

“Thanks Flash!” Derpy said gratefully, “I’m definitely going to pass my driving test! I’ll see you after school!”

Staring at what was left of his car, Flash could only mumble incoherently in response.

With a smile on her face, Derpy left the scene, happy and excited at the prospect of passing her driving test and gaining her driver’s license.

Sunset watched as Derpy ran past her and entered the school. She turned her attention back to Flash, who continued to stand and stare wide-eyed at his car in mute shock. Sunset approached Flash and stood by his side.

They remained there in awkward silence, staring at the smoldering wreck. After a moment, Sunset turned and spoke up.

“So…” she asked her friend, “How did it go?”

Flash didn’t respond as he stood in shell-shocked silence, his right eye twitching. He was shaken by the many driving catastrophes that Derpy had gotten them into.

In just a single day, they have managed to: enter the wrong side of the freeway and drive between two oncoming semi-rigs; nearly run over Applejack’s favorite apple tree sapling Bloomberg at Sweet Apple Acres; crash through and wreck the front entrances of both Carousel Boutique and Sugarcube Corner; and numerous other driving-related troubles that Flash did not wish to relive…

“Fine,” Flash answered weakly.

His expression – and the wrecked car – told Sunset that the actual experience was quite the opposite. She regarded Flash with both pity and sympathy.

“It could have been worse,” she said, “You could have let Pinkie Pie drive.”

Flash instantly paled at the thought.

“Sunset, please,” he pleaded, “I’m just glad that I’ll be able to drive home safely in one piece.”

Sunset raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“In that?” She nodded towards the alleged car. It hardly looked like anything that could still drive on its own.

Flash winced at the sight before him.

“Well…it’s not that bad,” he said uncertainly, “Just needs a new paint job.”

At that moment, the car made a metallic groan and suddenly fell apart into a heap of scrap metal. What remained of the vehicle then unexpectedly burst into flames for inexplicable reasons.

Flash and Sunset could only look on with wide-eyed expressions. As they both stared at the burning wreck, Sunset wrapped her arm around Flash and patted him on the shoulder in sympathy.

“You, um, want to walk?”

Staring at the burning remains of his car, Flash could only slump his shoulders and sigh in defeat.

“Yes.”

The End