Fat Stacks... of Booksby Justice3442ChaptersChapter 1Chapter 2Chapter 3Chapter 4Chapter 5Chapter 1Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 1 Looking downwards at the bespectacled off-white Earth Pony, whose brown mane and tail were each wrapped in a tightly knit bun, Celestia reflexively met the awe and anxiety-filled expression the young mare was giving her with a gentle, reassuring smile. As she had been the head ruler of her ponies for almost a millennium, Celestia was quite used to seeing that look and her facial muscles instinctively moved on their own at this point. Though, after all these centuries, Celestia still couldn’t help but wonder if the look had less to do with her royal position and more to do with the fact she was two to three times taller than almost all her subjects and also the fact that her sparkling, pastel-colored mane and tail of green, pink, purple, and teal waved about regardless of the wind conditions, outdoors or in. “Hello, Raven Inkwell,” Celestia greeted in a placid tone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Raven lowered her head into a small, nearly perfect bow, as if the mare had actually repeatedly practiced for this moment. An event which Celestia had no doubt actually transpired. The idea caused the slightest of ticks of Celestia’s eyelids as she quashed the urge to roll her eyes. This was also something she was quite used to seeing, though she had wished her subjects would not put forth quite so much effort to make a good first impression. “Please rise, my little pony,” Celestia said. As Raven rose back up to her hooves, Celestia turned towards a stallion standing next to Raven, a light-tan unicorn, which had both his greying brown tail and mane tied up in ponytails . Like Raven, he wore glasses, but they were small and sat halfway down his muzzle. Additionally, he wore a red coat and sported a gray cravat with a small gold chain attacked that led into a gold-trimmed pocket on his coat. Celestia knew the chain led to a golden watch. A watch, while of likely great use to the unicorn, had rendered most timekeeping tools superfluous to the ruler as she could now track time based on when the unicorn removed the watch to squint at it through his small glasses. The unicorn spoke in an somewhat-aged and very dignified tone, “As you know, Ms. Inkwell shall accompany me over the next few weeks as I explain her potential royal duties and train her so she can fulfill the duties of your previous assistant.” Celestia nodded. “Of course, Kibitz.” Raven looked up at Celestia once more and opened her mouth, a tiny, slightly frightened squeak escaping before Raven closed her mouth as her cheeks went red, and opened it in an attempt to try her hoof at speaking once more. “I…I promise I won’t let you down, Princess Celestia.” Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle gently to herself at Raven’s demeanor. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Celestia said. “If you’ve gotten this far, you have nothing to worry about.” Celestia glanced at Kibitz. “Kibitz, no doubt, put you through a very thorough and rigorous interview process before allowing you to see me, and no pony has ever been rejected during the brief intern period.” Raven’s body seemed to relax visibly as Kibitz gave Celestia a look that was a slight mix of pride and annoyance. Pride, no doubt, at Celestia’s comments regarding how he conducted his interviews. Annoyance, no doubt, at Celestia informing Raven that she was basically a shoe-in at this point. The idea that they could be dismissed likely kept her potential assistants focused, but it also kept them rather tense and maybe just a tad paranoid over the trial period. Truth be told, Celestia would feel much better if her new assistant would learn to relax around her sooner rather than later. Besides, If Kibitz has decided he’s going to conduct himself as a pony with a stick perpetually lodged in his hind-quarters, that’s his business. I won’t have him shoving sticks up other ponies behinds… Metaphorically speaking, of course. She mentally filed Kibitz’s expression under ‘things to ignore and not think about ever again’, a mental file filled with hundreds of years’ worth of disapproving looks from castle butlers and personal assistance, banal complaints from aristocratic ponies, and last week’s several hour-long filibuster regarding why ponies of noble birth should be given a ‘tax’ break based on their natural born superiority. … Celestia mentally grimaced to herself and refiled that last one in the ‘things I’m still trying to forget’ file. With a change that hit like clockwork, Kibitz paused and his horn glowed a brilliant light-blue as he pulled his pocket watch from his coat pocket, floated it in front of his face, and opened it. Squinting through his glasses he looked at the time. Celestia felt her smile grow slightly. Her next appointment was likely to be the highlight of her day before it gave way to predictably tedious and aggravating royal court proceedings of listening to nobles whine. “Well Princess, we must be off to continue Ms. Inkwell’s training,” Kibitz said as the pocket watch floated back into place. Celestia simple nodded. “Of course, please send Twilight Sparkle in as you leave.” Kibitz nodded. Raven looked at Kibitz then up at Celestia with an inquisitive expression. “Twilight is my new personal student,” Celestia explained as if Raven’s expression was a verbally phrased question. “She possesses great magical talent.” “I see,” Raven said with a nod. “I think that little filly has been at your door for a while, now… She was sitting next to a pile of books almost stacked as high as herself, and muzzle deep in a book that looked… well… rather advanced for a pony her age.” Celestia met the comment with a nod. “Good. I’ve told Twilight she could no longer bring stacks of books that towered at a height above the point of her horn, and it’s nice to hear she’s no longer attempting to circumvent my wish by bringing multiple stacks.” “I… um… see…” Raven replied. Kibitz pulled out his watch again and looked at it impatiently. Celestia carried on, ignoring Kibitz’s attempt to cut the conversation short with his body language, “Twilight is a voracious reader and the most punctual pony I have ever met. She would likely sleep in front of my quarters the nights before our sessions if her parents let her.” Celestia turned towards Kibitz and smiled. “Why, she’s even more attentive to timelines than Kibitz here.” Kibitz raised his gaze slightly and lowered his eyelids not so slightly to shoot Celestia a dirty look. He opened his mouth as if to protest, but Celestia caught the briefest expressions of realization and perhaps acceptance come across his face. Celestia smiled internally. Kibitz cannot hope to defeat Twilight Sparkle in a punctuality-off. She is simply the best there is. Raven tittered lightly to herself as Kibitz loudly cleared his throat. “Princess,” he said with a slight bow as his horn glowed brilliant light-blue again and one of a pair of large white doors that bore Celestia’s cutie mark swung open. With a smile and her own small nod, Raven followed Kibitz out of the room. With a brief word from Kibitz, a small-purple unicorn filly practically bounded inside the room, a stack of books nearly as tall as herself floating behind her in a purple aura that matched the glow of her horn. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight said excitedly as the heavy stack of books was dropped with a heavy ‘thump!’ Celestia’s worried eyes drifted to the stack of books which managed to remain upright, then down to the small filly who had launched herself against Celestia’s foreleg and was enthusiastically nuzzling it affectionately. Celestia’s concerns evaporated in a cloud of adorable purple smoke and she lowered her head down to return the nuzzle. “Good morning, Twilight,” Celestia said in a nearly musical tone. She raised her head and shut the door behind Twilight with a yellow glow of her long alabaster horn. She then began trotting towards a doorway, leading Twilight past a collection of comfortable-looking wooden furniture and into a large study with a big wooden desk in the center and high walls filled with shelves that were in turn filled with heavy, hardbound books. Twilight let out a small squeak of pure joy as she looked up at the collection of books in awe, an expression Celestia filed under ‘things to treasure forever no matter how many times I’ve seen them’ with all the similar moments she had shared with Twilight and next to a substantial number of moments involving an orange unicorn filly. The latter thought pricked Celestia’s heart as she made a quick escape from her mental filing system and back to reality. “Now then,” Celestia said as she scanned shelf after shelf, “what do you want to learn today?” Chapter 2Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 2 Twilight began to rapid fire responses, “Oh! How about transmogrification? Long distance scrying? Object mending!” Celestia smiled and allowed Twilight to continue. This was oddly routine for Celestia who had experience with an excited unicorn filly rattling off topics of interest until Celestia stopped her and picked one that sounded safe, easy, and appropriate for a small unicorn to practice without supervision. In fact, this was something Celestia used to do with her previous personal student. A key difference being Twilight usually listed off pretty harmless topics for the most part, whilst her predecessor seemed to home in on things a little filly should probably not know. “…Image projection, emotion project, energy projection… Facial Hair creation!” Celestia couldn’t help but tilt her head ever so slightly. “Facial hair creation?” Twilight smiled widely. “Facial hair creation!” she exclaimed excitedly. Celestia mulled over the oddity of the suggestion briefly. Perhaps there was some practicality to having the ability to magically summon a mustache or beard for disguise purposes? It wasn’t likely Twilight was going to find it particularly useful anytime soon… Still, the idea of the tiny filly running around with a full beard and mustache in some ill-thought-out attempt to pilfer cookies from the kitchen or some other adorable scheme tickled Celestia to no end. “Alright Twilight, we’ll begin your studies in ‘facial hair creation’.” Celestia turned to scan her shelves of books. “Now, where’s Bushy Beards’ Big Book of Bristle Spells?” she inquired to herself. Celestia hadn't turned her back on her newly minted faithful student for more than a few seconds before she heard the tinkle of magic and the ‘thump-thump-thump’ of multiple, hefty and extremely expensive books being haphazardly stacked one on top of another. Just as she was about to turn around, the peppy prepubescent voice of her student rang out "Found it!" The tower of tomes was well over her head. Celestia didn't know whether to be impressed at the speed of the telekinetic sort or terrified that she was about to have a small purple filly with a broken neck on her hooves. Wouldn't that be a fun conversation? "Oh, greetings, Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle. Your daughter? Well, you see there was an incident with a bibliographic avalanche..." Plastering a smile on her face before the terror seeped in, Celestia calmly addressed her pupil, "Thank you very much Twilight, now, would you please come down?" Twilight beamed down at her in triumph that quickly turned into sheepish terror. "Um, I can't..." Celestia couldn’t help but smile to herself despite the young unicorn’s plight. Pursing her lips slightly, Celestia thought for a moment. “Given current events, perhaps we should focus on short-range teleportation or self-telekinesis for now?” she suggested. “S-sure…” Twilight looked at her teacher then down to the floor which must have seemed far, far away from the small filly. “C-can we begin lessons on the ground?” she asked. A mirthful burst of laughter erupted from Celestia. “Of course, Twilight.” With a yellow glow of Celestia’s horn, Twilight was soon airborne and gently approaching the ground. Celestia turned back towards the center of the room as she guided her student downward, placing the small unicorn in front of her. For a moment, Celestia considered letting Twilight’s stacking of the books go without comment, however a mental file marked ‘things you’ve let another little filly get away with that you probably, maybe, most definitely shouldn’t have’ was suddenly thrown onto her mental desk, spilling pages and pages of precocious, but seemly harmless stunts that Celestia had all but encouraged until they had become routine. Celestia took a small moment to clear her head and gave Twilight a maternal smile. “Now Twilight, I know you’re excited to learn, but…” Twilight’s eyes shot open wide in alarm and fright, which seemed a little extreme to Celestia considering the gentle tone she was taking. However, Celestia felt the lightest of touches against her flowing mane as Twilight’s horn blazed purple, the little filly contorting her face as she put forth great mental effort. Celestia turned and this time caught the impressive feat of magic with her eye rather than see its aftermath. Twilight had telekentically caught the lofty stack of massive books with her magic and immediately began to reshelve them. Celestia followed the books with her eyes, noting that Twilight was rapidly returning each to its previous perch before their use as an impromptu ladder. With the final book returned, Celestia herd the dim hum of Twilight’s horn cease followed by a frantic, “I’m-sorry-I’m-sorry! Please-don’t-put-me-into-time-out-in-the-dungeon!” Celestia turned and looked down to see Twilight cowering on the ground, her forelegs covering her face. Slowly, Celestia lowered herself onto her knees and gently lifted Twilight’s chin with a foreleg. With a smile she asked, “Twilight, how did you know where to put all those books away after you pulled them down?” “Oh… I um, I memorized all that.” Celestia blinked a couple times. “I… beg your pardon? You memorized the placement of all those books?” Twilight nodded and stood up. “Yep! I came up with a few quick mnemonic devices! The bottom books I memorized with ‘Twilight’s Mom Likes To Serve Icky Peas’! See, Tide Rider’s Water Manipulation Guide starts with a ‘T’, while Moonlight Dancer’s Tome of Shadow Sliding starts with an ‘M’, and—” Celestia smiled and raised a hoof. “I understand, my little pony,” she said gently. She looked around the room. “How many books do you think you can do that with?” Twilight looked around the room. “I don’t know… I’ve never tried to figure that out.” Celestia’s smile crept upwards as hints of mischief stealthily made their way into the dark corners of her face. “Well then, perhaps a different lesson is in order.” She looked about. “We’re going to need more space…” Her smile grew. “…and books.” Chapter 3Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 3 “No, no, no!” Celestia said to the off-purple unicorn mare with her grey-white mane in a bun. “We don’t need books on construction material. We need to know which books would work best as construction material.” From behind her wooden desk in between a couple modest stacks of books, the elderly unicorn mare looked up at her monarch with a completely dumbfounded expression. A look which Celestia filed under ‘Things I don’t see nearly enough’. Next to Celestia sat Twilight Sparkle, her eyes full of wonder as they darted all over the insides of the sprawling two-story building with its towering shelves full of books and high domed ceiling. However, the librarian was far less concerned with the filly and far more concerned with the words that had come out of her monarch’s mouth. Her mistake, Celestia thought to herself. “You want to use books… as construction material,” the librarian clarified. Celestia nodded. “It’s part of a teaching exercise, you see.” “Oh… um… begging your pardon, Princess Celestia,” the librarian said as one of the books on her desk floated off with a purple glow, followed by another, and another, “but wouldn’t it be more educational to erm, read the books?” Celestia looked down at her student. Twilight was already muzzle deep in a book she had pilfered from the librarian’s desk and had assembled a stack of books next to her that went up to just a hair’s width under the small unicorn’s horn. “Oh, I’m quite certain my student will get to them all eventually, given enough time.” The librarian’s brow tensed slightly. It’s not quite aggravation, thought Celestia. More the look of a pony who’s in a conundrum except the choice has been made for them and they can’t really be blamed for what’s about to happen. “Be that as it may,” the librarian spoke in a knowing and slightly protesting tone, “this isn’t going to be like the last time you came here with your…” the librarian trialed off slightly, her expression clearly that of one who decided she needed to pick her words rather carefully, “…last student, is it?” Celestia shook her head in immediate response, she had already reviewed the file for that particular incident. “No, this will be nothing like the ‘Knowledge is Power Hour’ which actually lasted the better part of a day.” “… And sent over a dozen ponies to the hospital,” the librarian added. She tilted her head downwards slightly while maintaining eye contact. “Yourself and your student amongst them.” “Yes, I remember,” Celestia replied. “This lesson will be safe—” ‘Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump.’ The librarian looked past and above Celestia, a look of concern which drifted a bit towards pure fearfulness, crossing her face. “—ER by comparison.” Celestia turned to see a large, rather unbalanced pillar of books behind herthat started at the floor and went almost all the way to the topmost shelf of the library. This was capped with a triumphant purple filly holding a book almost as large as herself. My deepest apologies Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle, but look at the silver lining here! This large decorative vase full of your daughter’s remains has SO many more options for displaying than a casket would! “Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia shouted in a stern tone. “You get back down here this instant!” Twilight’s triumph once again turned to another ‘t’ word that conveniently ends in ‘error’ as she looked over the sides of the teetering tower of books she was so precariously balanced on. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea!” she retorted. I could have phrased that better. With a canary glow of Celestia’s horn, Twilight and the book she held were taken up in a similar aura that also straightened the wobbling book stack. Slowly and safely, Twilight was returned to the ground at Celestia’s hooves. Twilight set her book on the floor then looked up at her teacher, apology smeared across her face with a small smile of gratitude dribbled on for good measure. Celestia chiseled on a serious expression, not allowing Twilight’s precocious antics to get the better of her this time. “Twilight, that was a very dangerous thing of you to do,” Celestia chastised. Twilight’s smile faded in an instant as she looked up at Celestia with worry that seemingly went to her very core. “I’m sorry, Princess Celestia, please don’t stop being my teacher… I promise I won’t do it again!” “That’s where you’re wrong, my little student.” Twilight’s worry gave way to confusion. “Princess?” “You will do that again, but only after you put all those books away where you got them, are taught a basic teleportation spell, and have a firm grasp on how to create a sturdy foundation before you create impromptu structures of that height, in that order.” Celestia lowered her head down until she was on the same visual plane as her small student. “Am I understood?” she said as she maintained her serious tone. Twilight beamed a smile at Celestia in response. “Yes, ma’am!” she said happily before turning to the towering book stack, which she quickly disassembled tome by tome. Celestia turned back towards the librarian who was currently staring at Twilight in awe. “She… she’s really reshelving the books back where they belong,” murmured the librarian. Celestia couldn’t help but smile with pride. “Indeed, hence why we need more books with a bit more volume to them, if you’ll excuse the pun.” The librarian watched as the pile of books got smaller and smaller, then looked back up at Celestia. “Do you remember the section containing the logs of the royal court proceedings?” Celestia smiled through the wince that instinctively took hold of her. “How could I forget?” “Well, you did take a few rather serious blows to the head that day. One in particular left you out cold on the library floor for quite some time.” “Yes, I remember that as well,” Celestia replied dryly. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight called out excitedly. “I finished putting away the books.” Her warm smile returning to her face, Celestia turned and began trotting towards Twilight. “Very well, my student. Let us begin.” Chapter 4Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 4 After a basic teleportation lesson complete with a few successful trials and a quick perusal of a book on famous towers in Equestria, a new book structure was underway. This one was composed of four pillars that leaned diagonally towards each other forming a base that reached up past the bottom shelf. The base, in turn, served as both a foundation to a slimmer structure that was slowly tapering off to a point which nearly reached the zenith of the domed ceiling, and also as a relatively safe platform for Twilight to review a collection of books in front of her. Each book was either rejected and returned to its position on the library’s shelves, or accepted and added to the very top of the tower. Keeping watchful eyes on the small filly and only occasionally glancing upwards to admire her student’s progress, Celestia sat on the floor with a content smile on her face. “Princess Celestia?” Twilight called out. “This book looks like it has a hole in the front of it… Like it was impaled by a small… horn, maybe?” Celestia grimaced as a painful memory resurfaced from her mental filing cabinet. “Please put that one back and check the next book.” “Alright! …The next book also looks damaged… But this one looks like it has the imprint of a pony’s face? Uh… your face.” A very painful memory. “Thank you, Twilight. Please also return that book and try another.” “Okay!” came the enthusiastically compliant reply. Celestia continued to watch contently. At least until the massive double doors of the library swung open with the unmistakable force of a castle butler that was very upset and disappointed with the current proceedings. Celestia did not budge at all. She did not offer the slightest flinch at the sound of the doors, nor at the hooves which stomped across the library floor, or even the roar of “Princess Celestia!” “Kibitz,” Celestia said, not in the tone of a greeting, but in the tone of a gentle reprimand, “may I remind you this is a library? I’m sure you’re well aware of the proper decorum here.” “Decorum?!” Kibitz raged as he trotted up to the Princess, Raven following behind with slow, unsure steps. “I hardly think you’re in a position to remind me of decorum when you’re once again abusing your position of monarch to repurpose the library’s books for something very different from their intended purpose!” Kibitz cried as he waved a scroll suspended in a brilliant light-blue aura about. Celestia merely nodded. “I hear what you’re saying Kibitz, however I’ll have you know that not a single one of these books are older than myself, and therefore I have seniority.” “Seniority?!” “Furthermore, I myself am a central figure in just about every single book that’s been used to create this structure, so I believe that gives me more than ample claim to how they can be utilized.” “Uh… Princess Celestia?” Twilight called out. “Should I stop?” Celestia shook her head. “No, that’s quite alright, Twilight. Please, continue.” “Okay!” Kibitz let out a long, frustrated groan that he punctuated with a “Fine!” hissed out through clenched teeth. “Well, you’re already late for royal court. The nobles are beginning to get impatient.” “Busy,” Celestia said dismissively as she kept her eyes on Twilight. Kibitz grit his teeth further and glared up at Celestia. “Busy?! With this… this… playtime?!” Raven took a couple steps back as Kibitz seemingly tried to fire electricity out of his eyes at his ruler. Without looking away from Twilight’s enthusiastic ongoing construction, Celestia replied to Kibitz in a tone with just the barest hints of haughtiness. “While I admit this might look like ‘play’ to the untrained eye, I’ll have you know this is, in actuality, a complex and engaging way to help improve my student’s memory, teach her basic construction techniques, and also quash any fear of heights she may have!” “Princess Celestia!” Twilight called from the top of the tower. “I need something for the cylindrical top of the tower and books are the wrong shape!” “How about a scroll?!” Celestia shouted back as the blue aura around Kibitz’s scroll gave way to a canary-colored one and the scroll was floated up to Twilight. “Oh! Good idea!” Twilight exclaimed as she took the scroll in her purple aura. Raven’s eyes flew from the small filly, to her instructor, and finally to Princess Celestia, a look of trepidation constant regardless of which subject they rested on. Kibitz mashed fury and surprise into a clicking, gurgling sound before he regained the ability to speak. “That… that’s your itinerary for today!” “It’ll be much more useful up there,” Celestia insisted. “You can’t be seriously thinking of shirking all your duties for this… this… this Tower of Babel!” Celestia’s eyes widened and she straightened her stance as if she had just been struck by a bolt of realization. For a moment, Raven looked at Celestia expectantly, as if the ruler would suddenly snap out of whatever bizarre bibliomania had come over her. “That’s a really good name for the book tower, Kibitz!” Celestia said, the usual grace and dignity of her voice having all but fled. “Good job!” Kibitz’s jaw dropped. “Don’t you care about your royal duties at all?!” Celestia turned from Twilight long enough to fire off an indignant “Of course I do!” before her gaze dutifully returned to her pupil. “But unless any of the nobles are going to place themselves atop a large, rapidly erected tower of dubious structural integrity which may collapse and bring an untimely end to their lives, I think this has priority.” Celestia paused and added, “Please tell me if that’s the case.” “Well, what do you expect me to do?! Handle all the affairs of state myself?!” Celestia rolled her eyes so hard the sun wavered slightly in the sky. “I’m sure you’ve observed more than enough royal court to placate a few impatient nobles. Besides, you won’t be by yourself.” Celestia took a quick glance at the other pony standing nearby. “Raven will be there to assist you.” Raven’s entire body locked up as she stared at Celestia in terrified disbelief. Kibitz simply stood in shocked silence for a moment. “You’re both empowered to make decisions on my behalf,” Celestia said with a wave of her forehoof. “I dub thee both… ‘Temporary Super Duke and Duchess’ for the day. You two can pick who is which.” With a grit of his teeth and a quaking of his head, Kibitz regained his composure enough to say, “But it’s Ms. Inkwell’s first day!” “Wow, then she just got the greatest promotion in all of Equestrian history,” Celestia said. “Please don’t let all that power go to your head, my little pony~!” Celestia sang out. “Remember who raises and lowers the sun and moon everyday~!” Raven only managed to stammer a few beginnings of sentences doomed to never be completed. “I…er… I’ll do my… Uh… That is…” With an irate sigh, Kibitz turned and headed for the library door, “Come along, Ms. Inkwell.” With one more lingering glance on Celestia and a fleeting look at the book tower, Raven turned and followed Kibitz out of the library doors which she gently closed behind her. “… Are you in trouble?” Though her eyes had mostly stayed on the purple pony, only now did Celestia fully refocus her attention on Twilight. The young filly had finished her tower quite a while before Kibitz and Raven had made their exit and was quietly observing the exchange between Celestia and her staff. The first thought that crossed Celestia’s mind was ‘Of course not! I’m the princess! I can do whatever I want!’ But as the words marched through her mind a rather relevant mental file full of memories of times where Celestia had similarly flaunted her position in front of another young filly came to mind, and Celestia couldn’t help but feel a small pang of guilt as she looked up at Twilight. “Twilight,” Celestia said in a gentle tone. “Please come down here.” Twilight cautiously walked to the edge of the platform she was on and looked down. Examining the ground carefully, she closed her eyes, sticking out her tongue as her horn glowed purple. With a soft ‘pop’ and a ‘pomff’ Twilight was safely on the ground. Smiling proudly to herself, she trotted up to Celestia. Celestia slowly lowered her head so it was once more on the same level as Twilight. “Twilight, no matter what privileges or positions you may hold in your life, I want you to remember that other ponies’ feelings are always important, and you should be mindful of putting others in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations.” Twilight nodded. “Okay.” “Even if you think you deserve a break every once in awhile from the tiresome bickering of the aristocracy.” “Uh, okay.” “And even if one of those other ponies whose feelings you’re trying very hard to consider really needs to learn how to lighten up.” “… Okay.” Celestia raised her head back up and shifted her gaze to take in the structure Twilight had built. “It’s wonderful, Twilight. You should be proud of everything you’ve learned today.” Twilight beamed up at her teacher. “Thank you!” Twilight then looked up, up, and up the height of her handiwork. “I guess I should put this all back and we should finish my lessons for the day, huh?” Though she had steeled herself to agree with Twilight, her final ‘huh’ carried with it the slightest hints of disappointment and these hints began to tug lightly on Celestia’s heartstrings until they were suddenly composing a sorrowful melody. Celestia’s eyes slowly made their way downward as she attempted to regain the necessary emotional clout to confirm Twilight’s question, however she found them getting stuck on a particular book. A book by the title of The Collective Works of Eager Allanite Pony. Slowly, the corners of Celestia’s lips crawled upwards not unlike a spider leisurely making its way across its web. “Light bulb…” she muttered to herself. Chapter 5Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 5 Soon, the impressive tower of books that had taken up a great deal of space in the middle of the library was put away. However, a rather different structure had begun to take its place. This structure was not nearly as tall, raising only slightly higher than Celestia and as long and wide as it was high. In fact, the structure was almost a perfect cube containing the solar princess. A perfect cube save for a small open ‘window’ that was being ‘booked up’ hardback by hardback as Twilight meticulously fit each tome together like a series of bricks. “For the love of me, Twilight!” Celestia cried in an attempt at terror that came off perhaps just a tad too mirthful. Giggling to herself, Twilight lifted another book and placed it in the open space that was quickly disappearing. “Yes,” Twilight replied with a wicked grin on her face, “for the love of, um, you!” ‘SLAM!’ Celestia watched as the doors to the library once again flew open causing Twilight to let out a startled squeak and drop the book she was floating into place. This time Celestia happened to be facing the doors and had a perfect view of Kibitz storming into the library, a haggard Raven Inkwell trailing behind with a distant look on her face. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!” “Oh for Pepper Preen’s sake, Kibitz! Library!” Celestia said. Storming up to the cube prison, Kibitz glowered up at the small opening where little more than Celestia’s amethyst eyes and a few strands of wavy hair could be seen. With an alarmed “Eep!” Twilight’s horn glowed once more. With a small flash of purple and a ‘pomff!’ Celestia soon found her ‘book cell’ contained one more occupant who was huddling at Celestia’s feet. Celestia lowered a wing to comfort the startled purple filly as she continued to look out the small portal afforded to her. “I MUST insist you come to the throne room at once!” Kibitz cried. “Today’s proceedings have been an absolute disaster!” “Well…” Celestia instinctively lowered her head a bit as a devilish smile beamed out from her face with all the power of the sun. “I would, but you see” — Celestia’s smile suddenly went supernova — “I’m all booked up at the moment.” Kibitz attempted to grunt in disapproval, scoff, and, if Celestia was not mistaken, ‘harrumph’ all at once, but the combined actions seemed to jam up in his throat coming out as an angry guttural sound. At once, Kibitz made an about face and began to march back the way he came. “Ms. Inkwell,” Kibitz said in a tone of remarkably even tenor, “please inform the Princess of your statements to Prince Purple Robes.” At the name ‘Purple Robes’, Celestia’s ears immediately perked up. Prince Purple Robes was Celestia’s nephew on her mother’s side, at least 50 or more times removed. Still, the distant link to royalty made the pony a royal pain who no doubt took the absence of herself from court to try to push for some outlandish special privilege of some sort. Guilt assailed Celestia with hurricane strength winds as she took a long hard look at Raven, noting her once professional-looking bun was now almost completely undone and laying limply against the side of her head. The poor pony appeared as if she’d weathered the worst of a heavy storm and looked at Celestia with an expression the Princess usually only saw from ponies who had broken the law and now sat in front of the monarch to await judgement. In a measured and gentle voice, Celestia spoke, “Please Raven, what was it that you said to Purple Robes?” “Well… I… er… I didn’t think he deserved ‘free box seat tickets to all Wonderbolt shows from now until the sun burns out’.” Celestia nodded. “It was quite reasonable of you to deny that request.” Raven swallowed and continued. “Well, when I did he got mad and um, called me a ‘low-bred commoner pony not fit to shine his horse shoes,’ he... erm, then went on in great detail about the many expensive, jewel-encrusted shoes he had.” Celestia felt her left eye begin to involuntarily twitch as she did her best to keep her composure. “I see. Did you remind him that you were a Temporary Super Duchess by order of Princess Celestia, and therefore outranked him?” “No… but Kibitz did…” Celestia grinned and turned her head away from the opening. “That sly dog…” she muttered. “Excuse me, your highness?” “Nothing! What happened next? What did you say?” Celestia said, the slightest hint of anticipation entering her voice. “… Is Twilight Sparkle in there with you?” Celestia looked down at the young filly who stared up at her with wide, wondering eyes. “Yes she is,” Celestia replied. “I, er, okay then… Well, I suggested he take my clipboard...” “… That doesn’t sound bad… or even make much sense.” “…and shove it… in a place.” “Oh.” “…sideways…” Celestia closed her eyes and clamped down on her teeth hard as her entire head began to shake. Oh, if only there were two of me that I might have witnessed that… “I’m… I’m so, so sorry to let you down Princess! I’ll go home! You’ll never have to see me again! Please don’t banish me from Canterlot! It’s my home and—” “You should have made that a royal decree.” “—I’ve lived here my entire life, andWhat?!” “The part about the clipboard,” Celestia said. “I empowered you with a noble rank, if temporarily. You should have made it a decree…” Raven stared at the princess in bewilderment. “Also you’re hired.” Princess Celestia was sure that if Raven’s lower jaw wasn’t firmly attached to the rest of her, it would have hit the floor. “As my new aide,” Celestia clarified. “Not as a Permanent Super Duchess… tempting as that might be to promote you as such.” Raven smiled brightly. “Yes, Princess! I won’t let you down!” Celestia nodded. “I know you won’t, now go home and rest up. Tomorrow I’ll expect you to report to Kibitz bright and early. He’ll be expecting you.” Raven nodded one last time. “Thank you, Princess Celestia! I look forward to working with you!” Raven bowed quickly and did an about face, trotting towards the library doors. “Oh, and Raven?” Celestia called out. “Yes, my princess?” Raven replied as she turned to look over her shoulder. “Bring a clipboard,” Celestia said, tilting her head up so her wry smile would show in the book wall. Raven closed her eyes and smiled wide as she turned and exited the library, closing the doors behind her. Celestia looked down at her student and smiled, allowing a dim glow to emanate from her horn and light up the small confines of the book cube the two found themselves in. “Well, my dear student? What now? Perhaps we can take advantage of our little private, if perhaps a little too cozy, confines here and quietly read a book or two?” Twilight continued to look up at Celestia with an oddly blank expression on her face. “Don’t you need to get back to your royal duties?” Celestia smiled and shook her head. “I don’t think there’s any recovery from a prince being told he should shove a clipboard up his...” Celestia trailed off, looked away, and cleared her throat. “Experience has taught me it’s better to let everypony rest a bit after a day like today and pick things up tomorrow.” Celestia scanned the walls, and upon realizing Twilight had faced all the books with their spines outward scanned the ceiling for a title that might be interesting. “So, is there anything up here that you’d like to quietly read?” Celestia smiled. “Or perhaps something I can read to you…” “Erm, um… That sounds really great and all but…” Twilight averted her eyes from Celestia and hoofed the ground with a sheepish expression on her face. Celestia looked down at Twilight, a look of motherly concern crossing her face. “What is it, Twilight?” “…I kind of need to go to the bathroom,” Twilight murmured. “Oh,” Celestia said. “Me, too,” she added. After a trip to the mare’s room and another round of book reshelving, Celestia found herself walking the halls of Canterlot Castle, Twilight merrily scampering alongside her as they made their way back to Celestia’s private quarters. “So, Twilight? What would you like for lunch? I can have the castle staff make anything for you. Anything at all.” “Grass and daisy sandwich!” Twilight answered excitedly. Celestia smiled down at her student. “You can ask for something a bit more substantial than that.” Twilight paused thoughtfully for a moment, then replied, “Grass and Daisy sandwich with the crusts cut off!” Celestia laughed mirthfully to herself, stopping as Twilight let out another startled squeak and dove behind her legs. “Twilight?” Celestia said looking behind her. “Whatever is the matter?” Celestia looked ahead, the answer becoming immediately clear as Kibitz trotted down the hall pushing a stainless steel cart topped with a silver platter under a silver dome and a cake in a glass dome. “I see.” Celestia smiled. “It’s alright Twilight, Kibitz won’t yell and he’s certainly not going to be cross with you.” “… Really?” Celestia nodded. “Yes, really. Now come out.” Cautiously, Twilight emerged from behind Celestia and stood next to the alicorn Princess. Kibitz stopped his cart right in front of the pair. “Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle,” Kibitz said cordially. “I’ve taken the liberty of preparing lunch for you.” Twilight smiled sheepishly up at the much older unicorn as Celestia favored Kibitz with a dignified nod. “Thank you, Kibitz. Your timing is impeccable as always,” Celestia said. “Now, I’m sure I don’t have to inform you that Raven is now a permanent member of castle staff.” “Yes, I anticipated as much,” Kibitz replied as he removed the glass cake dome from a double-layered cake heaped with white frosting. “I’ve already began preparing for her start as a proper aid tomorrow.” “Perfect. Oh, and Purple Robe—” “Banned from Royal Court for the next two months,” Kibitz informed as he held aloft a plate, fork, and large knife in a brilliant light-blue glow. Celestia let out a sound that was mix between a scoff and a laugh. “You’re too nice.” “Indeed,” Kibitz said as he cut a small slice of cake, placed it on the plate, and floated both plate and fork down to Twilight. Celestia looked down at the plate in confusion. “Kibitz, why serve us in the hall? You know we can take the cake—” ‘SPLAT!’ “—Hwfere…” Celestia said through the two layers of cake which had just been unceremoniously propelled into her face. With a yellow glow, she removed as much of the cake as she could in a single, if rather mushed and haphazard, piece. “On my face is fine… I deserve this.” Kibitz nodded a couple times. “Indeed.” Twilight looked up at Celestia and Kibitz, her surprised eyes now wide and fixed solidly on the pair, though this didn’t stop her from shoveling forkful after forkful of cake into her mouth. “Now, if you currently have no need of me,” Kibitz said as he walked past Celestia and continued down the hall. “I’ll excuse myself.” “Kibitz!” Celestia called out after the unicorn. “Yes, my princess?” Kibitz replied without turning. “You’re the best.” “I know, my princess,” Kibitz replied. Celestia looked down at Twilight, a thick layer of frosting still covering her face. “Well, my little student. Have you learned anything about treating other ponies with respect?” Twilight swallowed a bit of cake and pondered this briefly. “Today I learned that if you’re mean to somepony, sometimes you get banned from activities, sometimes you get cake thrown in your face, and sometimes you get promoted.” Celestia’s smile faded and her eyes drifted upwards slightly. “I suppose today has been rather inconsistent in that regard.” “Princess Celestia?” Twilight began in an imploring tone. “Can we go back to the library tomorrow?” Celestia contemplated this request momentarily. “To read, or to build?” she asked. “Yes,” Twilight replied simply. Celestia pursed her lips as she mentally fished for a file marked ‘Self examples of being a responsible adult role-model’ and opened it to see that it was remarkably barren. “Of course,” Celestia answered. “I don’t see why not.” The End.
Chapter 1Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 1 Looking downwards at the bespectacled off-white Earth Pony, whose brown mane and tail were each wrapped in a tightly knit bun, Celestia reflexively met the awe and anxiety-filled expression the young mare was giving her with a gentle, reassuring smile. As she had been the head ruler of her ponies for almost a millennium, Celestia was quite used to seeing that look and her facial muscles instinctively moved on their own at this point. Though, after all these centuries, Celestia still couldn’t help but wonder if the look had less to do with her royal position and more to do with the fact she was two to three times taller than almost all her subjects and also the fact that her sparkling, pastel-colored mane and tail of green, pink, purple, and teal waved about regardless of the wind conditions, outdoors or in. “Hello, Raven Inkwell,” Celestia greeted in a placid tone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Raven lowered her head into a small, nearly perfect bow, as if the mare had actually repeatedly practiced for this moment. An event which Celestia had no doubt actually transpired. The idea caused the slightest of ticks of Celestia’s eyelids as she quashed the urge to roll her eyes. This was also something she was quite used to seeing, though she had wished her subjects would not put forth quite so much effort to make a good first impression. “Please rise, my little pony,” Celestia said. As Raven rose back up to her hooves, Celestia turned towards a stallion standing next to Raven, a light-tan unicorn, which had both his greying brown tail and mane tied up in ponytails . Like Raven, he wore glasses, but they were small and sat halfway down his muzzle. Additionally, he wore a red coat and sported a gray cravat with a small gold chain attacked that led into a gold-trimmed pocket on his coat. Celestia knew the chain led to a golden watch. A watch, while of likely great use to the unicorn, had rendered most timekeeping tools superfluous to the ruler as she could now track time based on when the unicorn removed the watch to squint at it through his small glasses. The unicorn spoke in an somewhat-aged and very dignified tone, “As you know, Ms. Inkwell shall accompany me over the next few weeks as I explain her potential royal duties and train her so she can fulfill the duties of your previous assistant.” Celestia nodded. “Of course, Kibitz.” Raven looked up at Celestia once more and opened her mouth, a tiny, slightly frightened squeak escaping before Raven closed her mouth as her cheeks went red, and opened it in an attempt to try her hoof at speaking once more. “I…I promise I won’t let you down, Princess Celestia.” Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle gently to herself at Raven’s demeanor. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Celestia said. “If you’ve gotten this far, you have nothing to worry about.” Celestia glanced at Kibitz. “Kibitz, no doubt, put you through a very thorough and rigorous interview process before allowing you to see me, and no pony has ever been rejected during the brief intern period.” Raven’s body seemed to relax visibly as Kibitz gave Celestia a look that was a slight mix of pride and annoyance. Pride, no doubt, at Celestia’s comments regarding how he conducted his interviews. Annoyance, no doubt, at Celestia informing Raven that she was basically a shoe-in at this point. The idea that they could be dismissed likely kept her potential assistants focused, but it also kept them rather tense and maybe just a tad paranoid over the trial period. Truth be told, Celestia would feel much better if her new assistant would learn to relax around her sooner rather than later. Besides, If Kibitz has decided he’s going to conduct himself as a pony with a stick perpetually lodged in his hind-quarters, that’s his business. I won’t have him shoving sticks up other ponies behinds… Metaphorically speaking, of course. She mentally filed Kibitz’s expression under ‘things to ignore and not think about ever again’, a mental file filled with hundreds of years’ worth of disapproving looks from castle butlers and personal assistance, banal complaints from aristocratic ponies, and last week’s several hour-long filibuster regarding why ponies of noble birth should be given a ‘tax’ break based on their natural born superiority. … Celestia mentally grimaced to herself and refiled that last one in the ‘things I’m still trying to forget’ file. With a change that hit like clockwork, Kibitz paused and his horn glowed a brilliant light-blue as he pulled his pocket watch from his coat pocket, floated it in front of his face, and opened it. Squinting through his glasses he looked at the time. Celestia felt her smile grow slightly. Her next appointment was likely to be the highlight of her day before it gave way to predictably tedious and aggravating royal court proceedings of listening to nobles whine. “Well Princess, we must be off to continue Ms. Inkwell’s training,” Kibitz said as the pocket watch floated back into place. Celestia simple nodded. “Of course, please send Twilight Sparkle in as you leave.” Kibitz nodded. Raven looked at Kibitz then up at Celestia with an inquisitive expression. “Twilight is my new personal student,” Celestia explained as if Raven’s expression was a verbally phrased question. “She possesses great magical talent.” “I see,” Raven said with a nod. “I think that little filly has been at your door for a while, now… She was sitting next to a pile of books almost stacked as high as herself, and muzzle deep in a book that looked… well… rather advanced for a pony her age.” Celestia met the comment with a nod. “Good. I’ve told Twilight she could no longer bring stacks of books that towered at a height above the point of her horn, and it’s nice to hear she’s no longer attempting to circumvent my wish by bringing multiple stacks.” “I… um… see…” Raven replied. Kibitz pulled out his watch again and looked at it impatiently. Celestia carried on, ignoring Kibitz’s attempt to cut the conversation short with his body language, “Twilight is a voracious reader and the most punctual pony I have ever met. She would likely sleep in front of my quarters the nights before our sessions if her parents let her.” Celestia turned towards Kibitz and smiled. “Why, she’s even more attentive to timelines than Kibitz here.” Kibitz raised his gaze slightly and lowered his eyelids not so slightly to shoot Celestia a dirty look. He opened his mouth as if to protest, but Celestia caught the briefest expressions of realization and perhaps acceptance come across his face. Celestia smiled internally. Kibitz cannot hope to defeat Twilight Sparkle in a punctuality-off. She is simply the best there is. Raven tittered lightly to herself as Kibitz loudly cleared his throat. “Princess,” he said with a slight bow as his horn glowed brilliant light-blue again and one of a pair of large white doors that bore Celestia’s cutie mark swung open. With a smile and her own small nod, Raven followed Kibitz out of the room. With a brief word from Kibitz, a small-purple unicorn filly practically bounded inside the room, a stack of books nearly as tall as herself floating behind her in a purple aura that matched the glow of her horn. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight said excitedly as the heavy stack of books was dropped with a heavy ‘thump!’ Celestia’s worried eyes drifted to the stack of books which managed to remain upright, then down to the small filly who had launched herself against Celestia’s foreleg and was enthusiastically nuzzling it affectionately. Celestia’s concerns evaporated in a cloud of adorable purple smoke and she lowered her head down to return the nuzzle. “Good morning, Twilight,” Celestia said in a nearly musical tone. She raised her head and shut the door behind Twilight with a yellow glow of her long alabaster horn. She then began trotting towards a doorway, leading Twilight past a collection of comfortable-looking wooden furniture and into a large study with a big wooden desk in the center and high walls filled with shelves that were in turn filled with heavy, hardbound books. Twilight let out a small squeak of pure joy as she looked up at the collection of books in awe, an expression Celestia filed under ‘things to treasure forever no matter how many times I’ve seen them’ with all the similar moments she had shared with Twilight and next to a substantial number of moments involving an orange unicorn filly. The latter thought pricked Celestia’s heart as she made a quick escape from her mental filing system and back to reality. “Now then,” Celestia said as she scanned shelf after shelf, “what do you want to learn today?”
Chapter 2Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 2 Twilight began to rapid fire responses, “Oh! How about transmogrification? Long distance scrying? Object mending!” Celestia smiled and allowed Twilight to continue. This was oddly routine for Celestia who had experience with an excited unicorn filly rattling off topics of interest until Celestia stopped her and picked one that sounded safe, easy, and appropriate for a small unicorn to practice without supervision. In fact, this was something Celestia used to do with her previous personal student. A key difference being Twilight usually listed off pretty harmless topics for the most part, whilst her predecessor seemed to home in on things a little filly should probably not know. “…Image projection, emotion project, energy projection… Facial Hair creation!” Celestia couldn’t help but tilt her head ever so slightly. “Facial hair creation?” Twilight smiled widely. “Facial hair creation!” she exclaimed excitedly. Celestia mulled over the oddity of the suggestion briefly. Perhaps there was some practicality to having the ability to magically summon a mustache or beard for disguise purposes? It wasn’t likely Twilight was going to find it particularly useful anytime soon… Still, the idea of the tiny filly running around with a full beard and mustache in some ill-thought-out attempt to pilfer cookies from the kitchen or some other adorable scheme tickled Celestia to no end. “Alright Twilight, we’ll begin your studies in ‘facial hair creation’.” Celestia turned to scan her shelves of books. “Now, where’s Bushy Beards’ Big Book of Bristle Spells?” she inquired to herself. Celestia hadn't turned her back on her newly minted faithful student for more than a few seconds before she heard the tinkle of magic and the ‘thump-thump-thump’ of multiple, hefty and extremely expensive books being haphazardly stacked one on top of another. Just as she was about to turn around, the peppy prepubescent voice of her student rang out "Found it!" The tower of tomes was well over her head. Celestia didn't know whether to be impressed at the speed of the telekinetic sort or terrified that she was about to have a small purple filly with a broken neck on her hooves. Wouldn't that be a fun conversation? "Oh, greetings, Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle. Your daughter? Well, you see there was an incident with a bibliographic avalanche..." Plastering a smile on her face before the terror seeped in, Celestia calmly addressed her pupil, "Thank you very much Twilight, now, would you please come down?" Twilight beamed down at her in triumph that quickly turned into sheepish terror. "Um, I can't..." Celestia couldn’t help but smile to herself despite the young unicorn’s plight. Pursing her lips slightly, Celestia thought for a moment. “Given current events, perhaps we should focus on short-range teleportation or self-telekinesis for now?” she suggested. “S-sure…” Twilight looked at her teacher then down to the floor which must have seemed far, far away from the small filly. “C-can we begin lessons on the ground?” she asked. A mirthful burst of laughter erupted from Celestia. “Of course, Twilight.” With a yellow glow of Celestia’s horn, Twilight was soon airborne and gently approaching the ground. Celestia turned back towards the center of the room as she guided her student downward, placing the small unicorn in front of her. For a moment, Celestia considered letting Twilight’s stacking of the books go without comment, however a mental file marked ‘things you’ve let another little filly get away with that you probably, maybe, most definitely shouldn’t have’ was suddenly thrown onto her mental desk, spilling pages and pages of precocious, but seemly harmless stunts that Celestia had all but encouraged until they had become routine. Celestia took a small moment to clear her head and gave Twilight a maternal smile. “Now Twilight, I know you’re excited to learn, but…” Twilight’s eyes shot open wide in alarm and fright, which seemed a little extreme to Celestia considering the gentle tone she was taking. However, Celestia felt the lightest of touches against her flowing mane as Twilight’s horn blazed purple, the little filly contorting her face as she put forth great mental effort. Celestia turned and this time caught the impressive feat of magic with her eye rather than see its aftermath. Twilight had telekentically caught the lofty stack of massive books with her magic and immediately began to reshelve them. Celestia followed the books with her eyes, noting that Twilight was rapidly returning each to its previous perch before their use as an impromptu ladder. With the final book returned, Celestia herd the dim hum of Twilight’s horn cease followed by a frantic, “I’m-sorry-I’m-sorry! Please-don’t-put-me-into-time-out-in-the-dungeon!” Celestia turned and looked down to see Twilight cowering on the ground, her forelegs covering her face. Slowly, Celestia lowered herself onto her knees and gently lifted Twilight’s chin with a foreleg. With a smile she asked, “Twilight, how did you know where to put all those books away after you pulled them down?” “Oh… I um, I memorized all that.” Celestia blinked a couple times. “I… beg your pardon? You memorized the placement of all those books?” Twilight nodded and stood up. “Yep! I came up with a few quick mnemonic devices! The bottom books I memorized with ‘Twilight’s Mom Likes To Serve Icky Peas’! See, Tide Rider’s Water Manipulation Guide starts with a ‘T’, while Moonlight Dancer’s Tome of Shadow Sliding starts with an ‘M’, and—” Celestia smiled and raised a hoof. “I understand, my little pony,” she said gently. She looked around the room. “How many books do you think you can do that with?” Twilight looked around the room. “I don’t know… I’ve never tried to figure that out.” Celestia’s smile crept upwards as hints of mischief stealthily made their way into the dark corners of her face. “Well then, perhaps a different lesson is in order.” She looked about. “We’re going to need more space…” Her smile grew. “…and books.”
Chapter 3Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 3 “No, no, no!” Celestia said to the off-purple unicorn mare with her grey-white mane in a bun. “We don’t need books on construction material. We need to know which books would work best as construction material.” From behind her wooden desk in between a couple modest stacks of books, the elderly unicorn mare looked up at her monarch with a completely dumbfounded expression. A look which Celestia filed under ‘Things I don’t see nearly enough’. Next to Celestia sat Twilight Sparkle, her eyes full of wonder as they darted all over the insides of the sprawling two-story building with its towering shelves full of books and high domed ceiling. However, the librarian was far less concerned with the filly and far more concerned with the words that had come out of her monarch’s mouth. Her mistake, Celestia thought to herself. “You want to use books… as construction material,” the librarian clarified. Celestia nodded. “It’s part of a teaching exercise, you see.” “Oh… um… begging your pardon, Princess Celestia,” the librarian said as one of the books on her desk floated off with a purple glow, followed by another, and another, “but wouldn’t it be more educational to erm, read the books?” Celestia looked down at her student. Twilight was already muzzle deep in a book she had pilfered from the librarian’s desk and had assembled a stack of books next to her that went up to just a hair’s width under the small unicorn’s horn. “Oh, I’m quite certain my student will get to them all eventually, given enough time.” The librarian’s brow tensed slightly. It’s not quite aggravation, thought Celestia. More the look of a pony who’s in a conundrum except the choice has been made for them and they can’t really be blamed for what’s about to happen. “Be that as it may,” the librarian spoke in a knowing and slightly protesting tone, “this isn’t going to be like the last time you came here with your…” the librarian trialed off slightly, her expression clearly that of one who decided she needed to pick her words rather carefully, “…last student, is it?” Celestia shook her head in immediate response, she had already reviewed the file for that particular incident. “No, this will be nothing like the ‘Knowledge is Power Hour’ which actually lasted the better part of a day.” “… And sent over a dozen ponies to the hospital,” the librarian added. She tilted her head downwards slightly while maintaining eye contact. “Yourself and your student amongst them.” “Yes, I remember,” Celestia replied. “This lesson will be safe—” ‘Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump.’ The librarian looked past and above Celestia, a look of concern which drifted a bit towards pure fearfulness, crossing her face. “—ER by comparison.” Celestia turned to see a large, rather unbalanced pillar of books behind herthat started at the floor and went almost all the way to the topmost shelf of the library. This was capped with a triumphant purple filly holding a book almost as large as herself. My deepest apologies Mr. and Mrs. Sparkle, but look at the silver lining here! This large decorative vase full of your daughter’s remains has SO many more options for displaying than a casket would! “Twilight Sparkle!” Celestia shouted in a stern tone. “You get back down here this instant!” Twilight’s triumph once again turned to another ‘t’ word that conveniently ends in ‘error’ as she looked over the sides of the teetering tower of books she was so precariously balanced on. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea!” she retorted. I could have phrased that better. With a canary glow of Celestia’s horn, Twilight and the book she held were taken up in a similar aura that also straightened the wobbling book stack. Slowly and safely, Twilight was returned to the ground at Celestia’s hooves. Twilight set her book on the floor then looked up at her teacher, apology smeared across her face with a small smile of gratitude dribbled on for good measure. Celestia chiseled on a serious expression, not allowing Twilight’s precocious antics to get the better of her this time. “Twilight, that was a very dangerous thing of you to do,” Celestia chastised. Twilight’s smile faded in an instant as she looked up at Celestia with worry that seemingly went to her very core. “I’m sorry, Princess Celestia, please don’t stop being my teacher… I promise I won’t do it again!” “That’s where you’re wrong, my little student.” Twilight’s worry gave way to confusion. “Princess?” “You will do that again, but only after you put all those books away where you got them, are taught a basic teleportation spell, and have a firm grasp on how to create a sturdy foundation before you create impromptu structures of that height, in that order.” Celestia lowered her head down until she was on the same visual plane as her small student. “Am I understood?” she said as she maintained her serious tone. Twilight beamed a smile at Celestia in response. “Yes, ma’am!” she said happily before turning to the towering book stack, which she quickly disassembled tome by tome. Celestia turned back towards the librarian who was currently staring at Twilight in awe. “She… she’s really reshelving the books back where they belong,” murmured the librarian. Celestia couldn’t help but smile with pride. “Indeed, hence why we need more books with a bit more volume to them, if you’ll excuse the pun.” The librarian watched as the pile of books got smaller and smaller, then looked back up at Celestia. “Do you remember the section containing the logs of the royal court proceedings?” Celestia smiled through the wince that instinctively took hold of her. “How could I forget?” “Well, you did take a few rather serious blows to the head that day. One in particular left you out cold on the library floor for quite some time.” “Yes, I remember that as well,” Celestia replied dryly. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight called out excitedly. “I finished putting away the books.” Her warm smile returning to her face, Celestia turned and began trotting towards Twilight. “Very well, my student. Let us begin.”
Chapter 4Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 4 After a basic teleportation lesson complete with a few successful trials and a quick perusal of a book on famous towers in Equestria, a new book structure was underway. This one was composed of four pillars that leaned diagonally towards each other forming a base that reached up past the bottom shelf. The base, in turn, served as both a foundation to a slimmer structure that was slowly tapering off to a point which nearly reached the zenith of the domed ceiling, and also as a relatively safe platform for Twilight to review a collection of books in front of her. Each book was either rejected and returned to its position on the library’s shelves, or accepted and added to the very top of the tower. Keeping watchful eyes on the small filly and only occasionally glancing upwards to admire her student’s progress, Celestia sat on the floor with a content smile on her face. “Princess Celestia?” Twilight called out. “This book looks like it has a hole in the front of it… Like it was impaled by a small… horn, maybe?” Celestia grimaced as a painful memory resurfaced from her mental filing cabinet. “Please put that one back and check the next book.” “Alright! …The next book also looks damaged… But this one looks like it has the imprint of a pony’s face? Uh… your face.” A very painful memory. “Thank you, Twilight. Please also return that book and try another.” “Okay!” came the enthusiastically compliant reply. Celestia continued to watch contently. At least until the massive double doors of the library swung open with the unmistakable force of a castle butler that was very upset and disappointed with the current proceedings. Celestia did not budge at all. She did not offer the slightest flinch at the sound of the doors, nor at the hooves which stomped across the library floor, or even the roar of “Princess Celestia!” “Kibitz,” Celestia said, not in the tone of a greeting, but in the tone of a gentle reprimand, “may I remind you this is a library? I’m sure you’re well aware of the proper decorum here.” “Decorum?!” Kibitz raged as he trotted up to the Princess, Raven following behind with slow, unsure steps. “I hardly think you’re in a position to remind me of decorum when you’re once again abusing your position of monarch to repurpose the library’s books for something very different from their intended purpose!” Kibitz cried as he waved a scroll suspended in a brilliant light-blue aura about. Celestia merely nodded. “I hear what you’re saying Kibitz, however I’ll have you know that not a single one of these books are older than myself, and therefore I have seniority.” “Seniority?!” “Furthermore, I myself am a central figure in just about every single book that’s been used to create this structure, so I believe that gives me more than ample claim to how they can be utilized.” “Uh… Princess Celestia?” Twilight called out. “Should I stop?” Celestia shook her head. “No, that’s quite alright, Twilight. Please, continue.” “Okay!” Kibitz let out a long, frustrated groan that he punctuated with a “Fine!” hissed out through clenched teeth. “Well, you’re already late for royal court. The nobles are beginning to get impatient.” “Busy,” Celestia said dismissively as she kept her eyes on Twilight. Kibitz grit his teeth further and glared up at Celestia. “Busy?! With this… this… playtime?!” Raven took a couple steps back as Kibitz seemingly tried to fire electricity out of his eyes at his ruler. Without looking away from Twilight’s enthusiastic ongoing construction, Celestia replied to Kibitz in a tone with just the barest hints of haughtiness. “While I admit this might look like ‘play’ to the untrained eye, I’ll have you know this is, in actuality, a complex and engaging way to help improve my student’s memory, teach her basic construction techniques, and also quash any fear of heights she may have!” “Princess Celestia!” Twilight called from the top of the tower. “I need something for the cylindrical top of the tower and books are the wrong shape!” “How about a scroll?!” Celestia shouted back as the blue aura around Kibitz’s scroll gave way to a canary-colored one and the scroll was floated up to Twilight. “Oh! Good idea!” Twilight exclaimed as she took the scroll in her purple aura. Raven’s eyes flew from the small filly, to her instructor, and finally to Princess Celestia, a look of trepidation constant regardless of which subject they rested on. Kibitz mashed fury and surprise into a clicking, gurgling sound before he regained the ability to speak. “That… that’s your itinerary for today!” “It’ll be much more useful up there,” Celestia insisted. “You can’t be seriously thinking of shirking all your duties for this… this… this Tower of Babel!” Celestia’s eyes widened and she straightened her stance as if she had just been struck by a bolt of realization. For a moment, Raven looked at Celestia expectantly, as if the ruler would suddenly snap out of whatever bizarre bibliomania had come over her. “That’s a really good name for the book tower, Kibitz!” Celestia said, the usual grace and dignity of her voice having all but fled. “Good job!” Kibitz’s jaw dropped. “Don’t you care about your royal duties at all?!” Celestia turned from Twilight long enough to fire off an indignant “Of course I do!” before her gaze dutifully returned to her pupil. “But unless any of the nobles are going to place themselves atop a large, rapidly erected tower of dubious structural integrity which may collapse and bring an untimely end to their lives, I think this has priority.” Celestia paused and added, “Please tell me if that’s the case.” “Well, what do you expect me to do?! Handle all the affairs of state myself?!” Celestia rolled her eyes so hard the sun wavered slightly in the sky. “I’m sure you’ve observed more than enough royal court to placate a few impatient nobles. Besides, you won’t be by yourself.” Celestia took a quick glance at the other pony standing nearby. “Raven will be there to assist you.” Raven’s entire body locked up as she stared at Celestia in terrified disbelief. Kibitz simply stood in shocked silence for a moment. “You’re both empowered to make decisions on my behalf,” Celestia said with a wave of her forehoof. “I dub thee both… ‘Temporary Super Duke and Duchess’ for the day. You two can pick who is which.” With a grit of his teeth and a quaking of his head, Kibitz regained his composure enough to say, “But it’s Ms. Inkwell’s first day!” “Wow, then she just got the greatest promotion in all of Equestrian history,” Celestia said. “Please don’t let all that power go to your head, my little pony~!” Celestia sang out. “Remember who raises and lowers the sun and moon everyday~!” Raven only managed to stammer a few beginnings of sentences doomed to never be completed. “I…er… I’ll do my… Uh… That is…” With an irate sigh, Kibitz turned and headed for the library door, “Come along, Ms. Inkwell.” With one more lingering glance on Celestia and a fleeting look at the book tower, Raven turned and followed Kibitz out of the library doors which she gently closed behind her. “… Are you in trouble?” Though her eyes had mostly stayed on the purple pony, only now did Celestia fully refocus her attention on Twilight. The young filly had finished her tower quite a while before Kibitz and Raven had made their exit and was quietly observing the exchange between Celestia and her staff. The first thought that crossed Celestia’s mind was ‘Of course not! I’m the princess! I can do whatever I want!’ But as the words marched through her mind a rather relevant mental file full of memories of times where Celestia had similarly flaunted her position in front of another young filly came to mind, and Celestia couldn’t help but feel a small pang of guilt as she looked up at Twilight. “Twilight,” Celestia said in a gentle tone. “Please come down here.” Twilight cautiously walked to the edge of the platform she was on and looked down. Examining the ground carefully, she closed her eyes, sticking out her tongue as her horn glowed purple. With a soft ‘pop’ and a ‘pomff’ Twilight was safely on the ground. Smiling proudly to herself, she trotted up to Celestia. Celestia slowly lowered her head so it was once more on the same level as Twilight. “Twilight, no matter what privileges or positions you may hold in your life, I want you to remember that other ponies’ feelings are always important, and you should be mindful of putting others in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations.” Twilight nodded. “Okay.” “Even if you think you deserve a break every once in awhile from the tiresome bickering of the aristocracy.” “Uh, okay.” “And even if one of those other ponies whose feelings you’re trying very hard to consider really needs to learn how to lighten up.” “… Okay.” Celestia raised her head back up and shifted her gaze to take in the structure Twilight had built. “It’s wonderful, Twilight. You should be proud of everything you’ve learned today.” Twilight beamed up at her teacher. “Thank you!” Twilight then looked up, up, and up the height of her handiwork. “I guess I should put this all back and we should finish my lessons for the day, huh?” Though she had steeled herself to agree with Twilight, her final ‘huh’ carried with it the slightest hints of disappointment and these hints began to tug lightly on Celestia’s heartstrings until they were suddenly composing a sorrowful melody. Celestia’s eyes slowly made their way downward as she attempted to regain the necessary emotional clout to confirm Twilight’s question, however she found them getting stuck on a particular book. A book by the title of The Collective Works of Eager Allanite Pony. Slowly, the corners of Celestia’s lips crawled upwards not unlike a spider leisurely making its way across its web. “Light bulb…” she muttered to herself.
Chapter 5Fat Stacks… of Books Chapter 5 Soon, the impressive tower of books that had taken up a great deal of space in the middle of the library was put away. However, a rather different structure had begun to take its place. This structure was not nearly as tall, raising only slightly higher than Celestia and as long and wide as it was high. In fact, the structure was almost a perfect cube containing the solar princess. A perfect cube save for a small open ‘window’ that was being ‘booked up’ hardback by hardback as Twilight meticulously fit each tome together like a series of bricks. “For the love of me, Twilight!” Celestia cried in an attempt at terror that came off perhaps just a tad too mirthful. Giggling to herself, Twilight lifted another book and placed it in the open space that was quickly disappearing. “Yes,” Twilight replied with a wicked grin on her face, “for the love of, um, you!” ‘SLAM!’ Celestia watched as the doors to the library once again flew open causing Twilight to let out a startled squeak and drop the book she was floating into place. This time Celestia happened to be facing the doors and had a perfect view of Kibitz storming into the library, a haggard Raven Inkwell trailing behind with a distant look on her face. “PRINCESS CELESTIA!” “Oh for Pepper Preen’s sake, Kibitz! Library!” Celestia said. Storming up to the cube prison, Kibitz glowered up at the small opening where little more than Celestia’s amethyst eyes and a few strands of wavy hair could be seen. With an alarmed “Eep!” Twilight’s horn glowed once more. With a small flash of purple and a ‘pomff!’ Celestia soon found her ‘book cell’ contained one more occupant who was huddling at Celestia’s feet. Celestia lowered a wing to comfort the startled purple filly as she continued to look out the small portal afforded to her. “I MUST insist you come to the throne room at once!” Kibitz cried. “Today’s proceedings have been an absolute disaster!” “Well…” Celestia instinctively lowered her head a bit as a devilish smile beamed out from her face with all the power of the sun. “I would, but you see” — Celestia’s smile suddenly went supernova — “I’m all booked up at the moment.” Kibitz attempted to grunt in disapproval, scoff, and, if Celestia was not mistaken, ‘harrumph’ all at once, but the combined actions seemed to jam up in his throat coming out as an angry guttural sound. At once, Kibitz made an about face and began to march back the way he came. “Ms. Inkwell,” Kibitz said in a tone of remarkably even tenor, “please inform the Princess of your statements to Prince Purple Robes.” At the name ‘Purple Robes’, Celestia’s ears immediately perked up. Prince Purple Robes was Celestia’s nephew on her mother’s side, at least 50 or more times removed. Still, the distant link to royalty made the pony a royal pain who no doubt took the absence of herself from court to try to push for some outlandish special privilege of some sort. Guilt assailed Celestia with hurricane strength winds as she took a long hard look at Raven, noting her once professional-looking bun was now almost completely undone and laying limply against the side of her head. The poor pony appeared as if she’d weathered the worst of a heavy storm and looked at Celestia with an expression the Princess usually only saw from ponies who had broken the law and now sat in front of the monarch to await judgement. In a measured and gentle voice, Celestia spoke, “Please Raven, what was it that you said to Purple Robes?” “Well… I… er… I didn’t think he deserved ‘free box seat tickets to all Wonderbolt shows from now until the sun burns out’.” Celestia nodded. “It was quite reasonable of you to deny that request.” Raven swallowed and continued. “Well, when I did he got mad and um, called me a ‘low-bred commoner pony not fit to shine his horse shoes,’ he... erm, then went on in great detail about the many expensive, jewel-encrusted shoes he had.” Celestia felt her left eye begin to involuntarily twitch as she did her best to keep her composure. “I see. Did you remind him that you were a Temporary Super Duchess by order of Princess Celestia, and therefore outranked him?” “No… but Kibitz did…” Celestia grinned and turned her head away from the opening. “That sly dog…” she muttered. “Excuse me, your highness?” “Nothing! What happened next? What did you say?” Celestia said, the slightest hint of anticipation entering her voice. “… Is Twilight Sparkle in there with you?” Celestia looked down at the young filly who stared up at her with wide, wondering eyes. “Yes she is,” Celestia replied. “I, er, okay then… Well, I suggested he take my clipboard...” “… That doesn’t sound bad… or even make much sense.” “…and shove it… in a place.” “Oh.” “…sideways…” Celestia closed her eyes and clamped down on her teeth hard as her entire head began to shake. Oh, if only there were two of me that I might have witnessed that… “I’m… I’m so, so sorry to let you down Princess! I’ll go home! You’ll never have to see me again! Please don’t banish me from Canterlot! It’s my home and—” “You should have made that a royal decree.” “—I’ve lived here my entire life, andWhat?!” “The part about the clipboard,” Celestia said. “I empowered you with a noble rank, if temporarily. You should have made it a decree…” Raven stared at the princess in bewilderment. “Also you’re hired.” Princess Celestia was sure that if Raven’s lower jaw wasn’t firmly attached to the rest of her, it would have hit the floor. “As my new aide,” Celestia clarified. “Not as a Permanent Super Duchess… tempting as that might be to promote you as such.” Raven smiled brightly. “Yes, Princess! I won’t let you down!” Celestia nodded. “I know you won’t, now go home and rest up. Tomorrow I’ll expect you to report to Kibitz bright and early. He’ll be expecting you.” Raven nodded one last time. “Thank you, Princess Celestia! I look forward to working with you!” Raven bowed quickly and did an about face, trotting towards the library doors. “Oh, and Raven?” Celestia called out. “Yes, my princess?” Raven replied as she turned to look over her shoulder. “Bring a clipboard,” Celestia said, tilting her head up so her wry smile would show in the book wall. Raven closed her eyes and smiled wide as she turned and exited the library, closing the doors behind her. Celestia looked down at her student and smiled, allowing a dim glow to emanate from her horn and light up the small confines of the book cube the two found themselves in. “Well, my dear student? What now? Perhaps we can take advantage of our little private, if perhaps a little too cozy, confines here and quietly read a book or two?” Twilight continued to look up at Celestia with an oddly blank expression on her face. “Don’t you need to get back to your royal duties?” Celestia smiled and shook her head. “I don’t think there’s any recovery from a prince being told he should shove a clipboard up his...” Celestia trailed off, looked away, and cleared her throat. “Experience has taught me it’s better to let everypony rest a bit after a day like today and pick things up tomorrow.” Celestia scanned the walls, and upon realizing Twilight had faced all the books with their spines outward scanned the ceiling for a title that might be interesting. “So, is there anything up here that you’d like to quietly read?” Celestia smiled. “Or perhaps something I can read to you…” “Erm, um… That sounds really great and all but…” Twilight averted her eyes from Celestia and hoofed the ground with a sheepish expression on her face. Celestia looked down at Twilight, a look of motherly concern crossing her face. “What is it, Twilight?” “…I kind of need to go to the bathroom,” Twilight murmured. “Oh,” Celestia said. “Me, too,” she added. After a trip to the mare’s room and another round of book reshelving, Celestia found herself walking the halls of Canterlot Castle, Twilight merrily scampering alongside her as they made their way back to Celestia’s private quarters. “So, Twilight? What would you like for lunch? I can have the castle staff make anything for you. Anything at all.” “Grass and daisy sandwich!” Twilight answered excitedly. Celestia smiled down at her student. “You can ask for something a bit more substantial than that.” Twilight paused thoughtfully for a moment, then replied, “Grass and Daisy sandwich with the crusts cut off!” Celestia laughed mirthfully to herself, stopping as Twilight let out another startled squeak and dove behind her legs. “Twilight?” Celestia said looking behind her. “Whatever is the matter?” Celestia looked ahead, the answer becoming immediately clear as Kibitz trotted down the hall pushing a stainless steel cart topped with a silver platter under a silver dome and a cake in a glass dome. “I see.” Celestia smiled. “It’s alright Twilight, Kibitz won’t yell and he’s certainly not going to be cross with you.” “… Really?” Celestia nodded. “Yes, really. Now come out.” Cautiously, Twilight emerged from behind Celestia and stood next to the alicorn Princess. Kibitz stopped his cart right in front of the pair. “Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle,” Kibitz said cordially. “I’ve taken the liberty of preparing lunch for you.” Twilight smiled sheepishly up at the much older unicorn as Celestia favored Kibitz with a dignified nod. “Thank you, Kibitz. Your timing is impeccable as always,” Celestia said. “Now, I’m sure I don’t have to inform you that Raven is now a permanent member of castle staff.” “Yes, I anticipated as much,” Kibitz replied as he removed the glass cake dome from a double-layered cake heaped with white frosting. “I’ve already began preparing for her start as a proper aid tomorrow.” “Perfect. Oh, and Purple Robe—” “Banned from Royal Court for the next two months,” Kibitz informed as he held aloft a plate, fork, and large knife in a brilliant light-blue glow. Celestia let out a sound that was mix between a scoff and a laugh. “You’re too nice.” “Indeed,” Kibitz said as he cut a small slice of cake, placed it on the plate, and floated both plate and fork down to Twilight. Celestia looked down at the plate in confusion. “Kibitz, why serve us in the hall? You know we can take the cake—” ‘SPLAT!’ “—Hwfere…” Celestia said through the two layers of cake which had just been unceremoniously propelled into her face. With a yellow glow, she removed as much of the cake as she could in a single, if rather mushed and haphazard, piece. “On my face is fine… I deserve this.” Kibitz nodded a couple times. “Indeed.” Twilight looked up at Celestia and Kibitz, her surprised eyes now wide and fixed solidly on the pair, though this didn’t stop her from shoveling forkful after forkful of cake into her mouth. “Now, if you currently have no need of me,” Kibitz said as he walked past Celestia and continued down the hall. “I’ll excuse myself.” “Kibitz!” Celestia called out after the unicorn. “Yes, my princess?” Kibitz replied without turning. “You’re the best.” “I know, my princess,” Kibitz replied. Celestia looked down at Twilight, a thick layer of frosting still covering her face. “Well, my little student. Have you learned anything about treating other ponies with respect?” Twilight swallowed a bit of cake and pondered this briefly. “Today I learned that if you’re mean to somepony, sometimes you get banned from activities, sometimes you get cake thrown in your face, and sometimes you get promoted.” Celestia’s smile faded and her eyes drifted upwards slightly. “I suppose today has been rather inconsistent in that regard.” “Princess Celestia?” Twilight began in an imploring tone. “Can we go back to the library tomorrow?” Celestia contemplated this request momentarily. “To read, or to build?” she asked. “Yes,” Twilight replied simply. Celestia pursed her lips as she mentally fished for a file marked ‘Self examples of being a responsible adult role-model’ and opened it to see that it was remarkably barren. “Of course,” Celestia answered. “I don’t see why not.” The End.
