Rainbow Dash is a Propeller Beanie

by ThePoneDrome

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random
Length: 1092

Exactly as it says on the tin, folks.

Rainbow Dash is a Propeller Beanie.

Inspired by this masterpiece.

Published 2016-12-17 10:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-17 10:40:02 UTC

Wheeeeee!

Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwFALMf7CNw

Wheeeeee!

Exactly as it says on the tin, folks.

“Atten-hut recruits! Move it move it move it! I wanna see you sweat!”

Spitfire watched as numerous recruits struggled to complete the floating obstacle course set in front of them. All of the recruits seemed to vary from ‘participation medal’ to ‘didn’t fly into a cloud’ levels of aptitude. How hard was it to do a few loops, zig-zag through cloudy hoops, and bust a few clouds? This was only the basic course!

Spitfire grimaced. Truly these were dark times for pegasi if these were the recruits she was getting nowadays. The only saving grace of this batch was Rainbow Dash.

Spitfire watched as Rainbow Dash flew effortlessly through the hoops before doing a loop-de-loop. She found herself more than a little entranced by the skillful flying. Rainbow seemed to fly with the grace of a swan, the speed of a lightning bolt, and a tenacity that reminded Spitfire of herself.

Truly Rainbow Dash was in a league of her own.

“Alright maggots, front and center on the double! You too, Wispy!” Spitfire stared at a thin, sea-green pegasus as he yelped and joined the others in a line.

She walked down the lined up recruits, eying the various pegasi one by one. “Not bad but your wing technique needs work, Thunderlane. Raindrops, I think I’ve seen literal raindrops more agile than you! Lemon Drop! How didn’t you see that cloud in front of you!”

Lemon Drop stuttered. “I-I-I—”

“I suppose it saw you flying and decided it was so madly in love with you that it flew directly into your path, eh?”

Lemon Drop squeaked, and Spitfire saw a faint blush upon her cheeks.

Spitfire huffed and continued down the line. When she came upon Rainbow Dash at last, she stopped right in front of her and glared at her.

“RAINBOW! You’re probably the only one here that could tell tail from head! That’s not saying much though... Alright maggots, you’re dismissed.”

Before anypony could move, Spitfire heard a voice mutter something under his breath. She whirled around and pointed her hoof at the group. “STOP! Wispy!”

Wispy froze and winced under Spitfire’s smoldering gaze. “Ye-yes?”

“Have something to say, recruit?”

“I...” Wispy shivered, but spoke with surprising calmness. “Well... isn’t is obvious?”

“Spell it out for me recruit. With your Celestia-given words.”

“Well... look at her! Just look!” He pointed an accusatory hoof at Rainbow Dash. “I mean, she’s not even a she! It’s a hat!”

Spitfire glanced over at Rainbow Dash, trying to make sense of the verbal attack. The mare’s propeller whirred with the fury of a thousand cyclones. The red part of her multicolored felt-body seemed to glow menacingly. A perfectly normal mare if she ever saw one.

“How are you all blind! It’s been two weeks! Two weeks!” Wispy continued, getting rather hysterical. “And nobody’s noticed—”

“THAT. IS. ENOUGH.” Wispy flinched. Spitfire fumed. “I will not tolerate bigotry in this academy. Rainbow Dash is one of the best mares I know, and a hero of Equestira!”

“Yeah, what the heck bro?”

“I can’t believe how insensitive you are!”

“Ungh!”

“B-but...” Wispy sputtered. “Am I the only one with sense around here? That. Is. A. Hat! HAT! A foal's one at that...”

Rainbow Dash zipped past Spitfire and slammed into Wispy. Her propeller hissed into Wispy’s ear as it simultaneously shredded him. Screams tore down the lofty runway.

“OH SWEET CELESTIA! AHHH— “ He never got to finish that sentence, for Rainbow Dash had pile drived him face-first into the asphalt. It took a total of three pegasi, including Spitfire, to break the fight (though Spitfire thought ‘slaughter’ was the more appropriate term).

A few minutes later, meters away from the runway, Spitfire talked with Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, look, I know you’re upset—”

Rainbow’s propeller spun in indignation.

“Look, I get it, okay, hot-head? But you can’t just assault ponies, no matter how much of a flankhole they are.”

Rainbow Dash said nothing, fluttering up and down silently. Then, after a moment, her propeller blades swished the air three times.

Spitfire rubbed her forehead. “Wispy’ll be alright. Eh, hopefully. He might have lost an ear, but we got him to the infirmary in time.” Spitfire let out a small chuckle. “That was the fastest beatdown I’ve ever seen in my life, to be honest. It’s an academy record! Er... don’t tell anypony else I said that, okay?”

Rainbow bobbed up and down.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Anyways, you’re not off the hook Rainbow. I want you doing two hundred laps! Actually, I think it’ll be five hundred! Go!”

As Spitfire watched Rainbow Dash speed off into the sunny afternoon sky, she couldn’t hold back the small smile that had formed on her lips. She reminds me so much of myself, she thought as a small tear of Liquid Pride ran down her cheek.

The door to Sugarcube Corner burst open. Heads turned, and they saw Rainbow Dash swagger on inside.

“Rainbow Dash!” Twilight Sparkle got up from her seat, as did the rest of her friends, and bounded over to Rainbow, surrounding her. “Omigosh! How did it go, did you get into the Wonderbolts?”

Rainbow Dash bobbed forwards and backwards slightly.

“Oh, we’re sorry darling.” Rarity said. “Girls, give Rainbow some space, please.”

Four mares backed up. One frizzy-maned pink pony remained inside Rainbow Dash’s personal space, though she didn’t seem to mind.

“How was it Rainbow Dash! I bet you were the best, because, duh, you are Rainbow Dash! Only the bestest most awesomest flyer in alllllll of Equestria! Going all wooosh, zoooooom, and ka-pow and whiiiiirrrr!” Pinkie punctuated this statement by spinning her arms like propeller blades.

“Pinkie... honestly.” Rarity tutted. Applejack snickered.

Rainbow gave Pinkie an inquisitive bob of movement.

“What can I say?” Pinkie said. “Word travels fast. I know a guy. Nice pile driver, by the way.” Pinkie winked before backing up.

Twilight looked between Pinkie and Rainbow, head tilted. “Do... do I want to know what that was about?”

“Um... probably not...” Fluttershy murmured.

“So, are you going to tell us about flight camp, Rainbow?” Pinkie beamed.

Rainbow Dash’s propeller squeaked and her cap spun in a whirl of colors.

“Excellent! I’ll get the drinks!” Pinkie said. With that she cartwheeled into the kitchen and procured six milkshakes. With drinks in hoof, the five mares reclaimed their seats and listened eagerly to the rainbow speedster's brave tale of her battle against bigotry.