Equestria's Funniest Heros from Beyond

by Israel Yabuki

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 8051

Twilight and Starlight attempt to try out a magic spell that opens a portal to another world.

It seems like an ordinary day in Equestria after Celestia made a peace treaty with Thorax, the new leader of changelings. Twilight and Starlight decided to try out a rare magic spell that can open a portal to almost any dimension. But when they do, it could end up being either their biggest accomplishment or mistake when they accidentally bring two humans into Equestria. Now their new friends have to adjust to their new in Ponyville while Twilight waits to perform the spell which won't happen for a while.

Rated T mostly for a bit of swearing.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-20 03:36:48 UTC

Unexpected Meeting.

It seemed like yet another peaceful day in the land of Equestria. With Chrysalis defeated once again, and Princess Celestia making a peace treaty with the new and improved changelings, things were really looking up for everypony.

During this time of day, Twilight and her friends were out doing their usual daily routines. Applejack was at home, harvesting apples for the upcoming farmers market. Rarity was designing more clothes with the help of little Spike. Fluttershy was caring for more sick animals and when she was done, she'd enjoy some tea with her best friend, Discord. Rainbow Dash was out and about clearing the sky by order of the princess for it to be a warm and cloudless, sunny day. Pinkie Pie was at Sugar Cube Corner helping out the Cakes with running the shop and preparing for who-knows-what. Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, along with her student, Starlight Glimmer, were just looking through a few books trying to find some books that would spark interest since Starlight had finished up yet another "Friendship lesson" with her bookworm friend/teacher.

So far Twilight and Starlight had no luck on finding what kind of book that sparked interest in both of them. So far, Starlight felt like there wasn't anything good to learn about, even though Twilight's library was loaded with countless books. Twilight, on the other hoof, wasn't planning on stopping her search. Starlight just didn't understand how much of a bookworm Twilight could be. But soon the more she thought about it, the more she began to accept it, especially when she thought it was cute. While Twilight was searching for a book, something caught Starlight's eye when she was just standing near one of the bookshelves. She noticed that there was a strange book that was contained in sealed up by a lock and chains. At first glance, she thought it was creepy, but then she got curious and wanted to know why it was sealed up like this, so she levitated the book off the shelf, which in turn caused the book to rumble. Twilight took a glance at Starlight and immediately became more alert.

"STARLIGHT STOP!" Twilight shouted.

"What's the matter, Twilight?" Starlight asked. "It's only a book, what could be so harmful about it?"

"That's a forbidden book that brings just about anything from any kind of dimension that might exist!" Twilight explains.

"Then how come you have it here in your library, should the princess be keeping it at her castle?"

"She said it was too risky, so she trusted me to keep it out of hooves reach."

"Okay then, but why is it rumbling?"

"It reacts to any kind of magic it comes into contact with and if you keep it going for too long, it'll--" Twilight was then cut off by the book braking through the lock and chains and opening up a vortex. "OH NO!!!" Twilight shouted.

Meanwhile on planet Earth, we focus on two boys by the names of John, a 16-year-old Caucasian boy with glasses, dark brown curly hair and blue-green eyes, and Israel, a 21-year-old Hispanic, with dark brown straight hair (hairstyle similar to Bruce Lee), and hazel eyes, but he mostly spoke English. The two pals were at John's house, playing some good ol' Black Ops on John's PS3.

"Logic, people, logic." John said, as he got ambushed by zombies.

"Hang on, I'm comin' to get ya." Israel said, running past the flesh eaters and reviving his friend. "Okie dokie."

"Thanks." John replied.

The two had lasted a good 7 rounds until finally they were getting attacked by demon fire dogs.

"OH COME ON!!!" John said.

"WHYYYYYYYY?!?!?!" Israel shouted. "Ugh, whatever let's just get this over with so I can use the can."

Then while they were about to start the battle, the TV and the PS3 shut down.

"Are you kidding me right now? Don't tell me there's a blackout now." Israel says in frustration.

"Blackout?! The lights are still on in the house, don't get your pants in a bunch, Mr. Pizza Pizza!" John says.

"Oh, HA-HA Mr. Yo Quiero Taco Bell!" Israel retorted, making both of them laugh. But their laugh was soon stopped by a rumble.

"EARTHQUAKE!!!" The boys shouted. They then headed under the doorway, leading to John's bedroom until the earthquake died down which didn't happen since they soon caught a glimps of a portal popping out of the TV screen.

"Uh...is that suppose to happen?" Israel asked.

"NO!" John shouted.

The guys felt the portal pulling them towards it and tried hanging on for dear life.

"NO FAIR, I NEVER GOT TO ENJOY MY LAST PIZZA SLICE!!!" Israel shouted.

"HEY, WHAT ABOUT MY TACO BELL?!" John shouted.

With those last words, the boys lost their grips and got sucked into the portal...that is...until Israel blabbed out the one line that he knew that John hated the most.

"TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!!!!!!"

After being sucked in, the portal quickly closes up, leaving the house in shambles.

Back in Equestria, Twilight and Starlight were trying to close the portal the book had created. But so far nothing was working. The portal went on for about 5 minutes until finally the girls heard what sounded like male voices shouting. Then all too quickly, the portal spat out John and Israel onto the floor before disappearing and sealing itself shut.

"What the!" Starlight says. "Umm...Twilight, I think it worked."

"No...ya THINK?!" Twilight asks sarcastically.

The two ponies stared at what they thought were "hairless monkeys in clothes." At first glance that's what they looked like, until one of them, specifically John, looked up and saw Starlight.

"WAIFU!!!" John exclaimed, jump up off his back and hugging Starlight. But Starlight immediately got him off with her magic. "Hey come on, don't you want a hug?" he asked.

"Whoa, you can actually speak our language?" Starlight asked.

"Ugh...that's the last time I go crazy on the pepsi and coca-cola." Israel says, sitting up and rubbing his head back and forth. "Hey, John, who in the hay were ya..." Israel paused as soon as he saw John being held in the air by magic aura. He turned and looked to see a pony with orchid fur and purple mane with a powder blue stripe on it. "Ho-ly smokes, we're in Equestria."

"You know what Equestria is?" Twilight asked.

"How could we not? I've watched every single episode of your adventures." John said.

"Wait...watched? Are you some kind of stalker?" Twilight asked.

"No, more like what you call a dedicated brony." Israel says.

"What's a brony?" Twilight and Starlight asked.

"Oh boy...I have a feeling we've got a lot of explaining to do. But before I do that, I only have one thing to ask you, Starlight." Israel says over to the orchid unicorn.

"What?" Starlight asks.

"Will you put my friend down?"

"With the way he's reaching for me, that ain't gonna happen."

"Put him down, I know a trick that'll stop him." Israel then approached his floating friend.

"Like what?"

"You'll see, just trust me." After hearing Israel say this, she puts John down while Israel put his hand over John's shoulder

"What?" John asked.

"BIG MAC X CHEERILEE" Israel shouted.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" John exclaimed, kneeling down on the floor, covering his ears.

"BECAUSE YOUR PAIN IS FUNNY!!!" Israel shouted back with a smirk.

'Well it's effective, I'll give him that.' Starlight thought.

A Warm Welcome

After being accidentally pulled into the land of Equestria, Israel and John began to explain a few details about the "Brony" fanbase community from where they lived. They did their best not to explain certain parts of the fanbase to the girls so as not to freak them out, which luckily helped them feel more relaxed and a bit excited. Starlight was still a bit confused with one thing though.

"So, why exactly did your friend call me "waifu?" Starlight asked. Israel chuckled and explained to her what it meant.

"Well, where we come from, it's sort of a word a lot of guys use when they have a crush on a fictional character, so much to the point that they refer to them as their wives. It's in the "otaku" nature and somehow it made its way to the MLP culture, surprisingly. However there's likely to be more than just one guy who has a crush on the same fictional character." Israel chuckles.

"Oh yeah, sure, THAT'LL keep them from NOT running away from us." John retorted sarcastically.

"Oh, go stuff your face with tacos, "Sonata!" Israel retorted back.

"ME NOT SONATA!" John shouts.

"Boys, stop fighting! Why do you guys do this anyways?" Twilight asks.

"Oh we just like messin' with each other, we don't know WHY, but we don't question it...except THIS guy." John says, pointing to his Bruce Lee hairdewed friend next to him.

"Hey, it's not my fault I want answers!" Israel retorted.

"Answers to what." Starlight asked.

"I'm sure you girls know who Pinkie Pie is." Israel replies.

"Is that even a question?" John asks.

"We know her, she's one of our best friends. She's a bit hard to understand though, but we try not to question it." Twilight says.

"And she's the one he always questions." John says.

Then there was a loud BOOM downstairs near the entrance. The two guys and two ponies ran towards it only for the guys to get tackled by a pink blurr and land smack onto the ground.

"Next time George get bigger box." Israel says out of random, all dizzy.

"Did somepony call my name?" said Pinkie Pie as she stood on top of the two humans.

"Actually yeah, he did" John said, pointing to his dazed pal. Pinkie then let out a gasp and just bolted back out of the castle. "And there she goes again, and I bet I know what's coming."

"What, an angry mob of ponies, the so-called "Royal Guards?" Israel asked, still in a daze.

"No, that was Pinkie Pie. Why would she do that?" John asked retorically

"PINKIE?!" Israel asked, shouting. "Damn it! I'LL GET YOU YET, PINKIE!!!" He shouts, dramatically

"And I thought Rarity was over-dramatic." Twilight quietly says to Starlight.

"I heard that, you cute little bookworm!" Israel retorted, a bit more calmly.

"Well that's a new one. Usually, my friends would just call me egghead, well, mostly Rainbow Dash." Twilight says, blushing.

"He can be a real sucker for pretty mares." John says, making Israel blush. Israel then grabbed his shirt and shook him back and forth and a rapidly fast pace.

"How about you keep your big mouth shut and STOP trying to embarrass me?!" Israel shouts.

"You're the one embarrassing yourself." John says shakingly while laughing.

"Alright you two, that enough! Now Pinkie's over at Sugar Cube Corner and she's planning a welcoming party for the two of you, so if there are no further delays, we should get going." Twilight says.

"Fine, but I'm gonna ask her a few questions, when we get there." Israel says.

"Which'll be pointless." John retorts.

"Big Mac x Cheerilee." Israel says sing-songy.

"NOOO!!! SHUT UP!!!" John shouts, making Israel laugh.

The walk over to Sugar Cube Corney was a bit awkward, seeing as how all the ponies had their eyes locked on John and Israel with uneasy and worried expressions on their face. No doubt, the ponies weren't use to having humans in Equestria, except for one minty unicorn mare who goes by the name of Lyra Heartstrings.

"HANDS!!!!!!!" She shouted, but she was being pulled back by her bestie, Bon Bon.

The guys laughed it off as they knew how obsessed Lyra was with human hands.

Once the guys arrived at Sugar Cube Corner, they opened the door only for Israel to get blasted in the face by Pinkie's party cannon and let out his signature Goofy yell, sending him flying 10 feet away from the door and flat on his back.

"SURPRISE!!!" Pinkie shouted.

"Why me?" Israel asks himself as he gets up. He sprinted back to Sugar Cube Corner. "Why did you have to blast that thing into my face, ya almost took my head clean off!"

"Hey, turn that frowny upside-downy!" Pinkie says with her perky smile and an added squee.

"DANGIT!!! That cute squee gets me everytime." Israel says, placing his hand over his heart.

"When doesn't it?" John retorts, jokingly.

"I say, who and what are you two suppose to be, darlings?" asked a female voice.

'Oh boy, I know who's voice that belongs to.' John says in his mind. He turns to look at a mare with snow white fur, diamonds for a cutie mark, sapphire eyes, and a perfectly curled mane and tail. "Hi, Rarity." he says, waving his hand.

"You know my name? My my. I haven't even introduced myself. I suppose I've made quite a name for myself." Rarity says.

"Same with your friends, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Pinkie Pie." Israel says, leaning against a wall with a cupcake in his hand.

"Well, well, well. I guess somepony has heard of my awesomeness. But then again, who hasn't?" Rainbow Dash says, as she's hovering in the air with her forehooves resting behind her head.

"I'm sure you girls will get the gist of it if I showed you the first chapter of this story." Pinkie says.

"DANGIT PINKIE, HOW CAN YOU BREAK THE 4TH WALL AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!" Israel asks loudly.

"You do realize that you BOTH broke the 4th wall." John says.

"So did you." Both Israel and Pinkie said.

"Okay." John says casually with a smile.

While they were arguing, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but laugh at them.

"This is too rich, I don't know who these guys are, but I bet if they put on a live comedic performance here in Ponyville, it'd probably overthrow Trixie's performance no sweat." Rainbow says, with her forhooves on her sides, trying to hold in her laugh.

"And Trixie is on the subject, why exactly?" John asks.

"Guess the feller in the glasses makes a valid point." Spoke a female country accent.

"Yer darn tootin' AJ." Israel says, but immediately smacks his hand over his lips, keeping it there.

"Did y'all just mock my accent?" AJ asked, slowly closing in on the human without the glasses. " 'Cause if ya did. I won't hesitate to buck ya all the way to Manehatten!" AJ's expression got real tense and a bit mad as she slowly closed the gap between the two.

"No, of course not..."pard'ner" Israel said, but then got wide eyed. 'Oh crap' he thought to himself, as he saw how pissed off she was and he was ready to run for dear life.

"It was at that moment where Israel realized...he bucked up." John says casually.

Suddenly, food started flying everywhere as Israel started getting chased by Applejack outside. Try as he may, he constantly had to maneuver away from her and change directions at the last minute to avoid getting caught in her grasp.

"It's only a matter o' time before I getcha you dog gone side-winder!" Applejack shouted.

"Thanks fer the tip, Pard'ner! Now I'm NEVER gonna stop running!" Israel shouted back.

"GIT BACK HERE!!!"

"NEVER!!!"

John couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Israel pissed off AJ.

"Well at least it's not gonna be boring here. Minus the video games, but hey, at least can enjoy some time away from home, thank go- er...I mean Celestia for that." John says before chuckling.

A Hard Days Work

While Israel was getting the crap beaten out of him by Applejack, John had encouraged the rest of the girls to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show while having some milkshakes and cupcakes. Twilight protested it at first because she didn't feel right watching a human getting beaten, even if he did insult Applejack by accident. But slowly, Twilight found that seeing Israel getting pulverized seemed to make her smile a bit, but she still felt a lot of guilt. Rainbow Dash found it too hilarious to stop, Fluttershy was covering her eyes from Applejack's brutality and Pinkie Pie was just sipping her milkshake, enjoying the show.

Applejack finally stopped after 5 minutes of pulverizing the older human. Israel was covered in bruises and bandages, seeing stars as his eyes started spiraling left and right.

"Why me?" Israel asks himself.

"Serves ya right fer makin' fun o' ma accent. I hope ya learned yer lesson." Applejack says, panting and smirking.

"Youse lucky I'm a guy, otherwise I would've gotten back atcha, "part'ner!" Israel says, still dizzy.

"Ya want me to shut yer yap fer ya fer good? I can do that...if I weren't so tired." Applejack says, glaring

"Here's an idea, Applejack. I know exactly how you can punish him without pulverizing him." John says.

"Who's side are you on, anyways?!" Israel asks.

"The ponies." John replies simply.

"Damn you." Israel glares

"Watch your profanity." John points at Israel.

"I'm 21 years old, I'll say whatever the h-" Israel got cut off by Pinkie Pie as she jumped onto his head, covering his mouth with her forehooves to stop him from cursing again.

"Uh-uh-uh! Remember, our show is targeted towards kids!" Pinkie says, all chipper.

'DANGIT PINKIE!!!' Israel thought.

"Now as I was saying, how about as punishment, he can work at your farm for a whole week. He needs to burn off a few calories from all the pizza he eats, anyways." John explains to Applejack.

"Well, looks like somepony has a good chip on their shoulders. I think I might just do that." Applejack says, smirking at Israel who still had his mouth covered by Pinkie, struggling to get her off. "Now you listen here, partner, startin' tomorrow, y'all are gonna be workin' fer me as punishment fer makin' fun o' me. Do ya have anythang to say?" Israel finally managed to toss Pinkie off of him.

"Yeah, not that I don't like to work, but what if I refused." Israel retorted.

"I'll sick Big Mac on ya." Applejack retorts with a smirk.

Israel then got all sweaty and a bit scared as he knew how tough the big guy can be. He may be shy, but taking a beating from Big Mac would be like getting hit by a freight train. He sighed in defeat and looked at AJ with a more serious look.

"What time do I start?" Israel asks.

"6 A.M sharp." she replies

'6 A.M?! It's like she's trying to kill me! If only Equestria had electricity and if only I had brought my ipod, Playstation, and my 2DS, I'd be easing my boredom...then again, that's what keeps me up at night.' Israel thought to himself. "Fine, I'll be there at 6 A.M sharp." he says to Applejack out loud.

"Excellent partner." Applejack says, with a cute smile.

"John, I swear, when we get home, you're gonna get a good ol' fashion trollin'." Israel says, glaring at John.

"Oh yeah, I'd like to see you try." John says.

"You want to brawl right now? I'll bring it to ya!"

"Come at me, bro!"

Israel and John then got into a brawl making Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie laugh their flanks off.

"It's like watching a fight between a gorilla and an orangatang." Rainbow says.

"Yeah, but who's the gorilla and who's the orangatang?" Pinkie asks.

Twilight intervened and levitated the boys away from each other while they were trying to grab each other.

'Ugh, why did this have to happen?' Twilight asks in her thoughts.

Israel and John were sleeping in their seperate rooms peacefully at Twlight's castle, until Israel's alarm clock went off at 5:30 A.M. Israel then reached for the nightstand to turn off his clock. His third attempt finally shut it up and he woke up with a grunt of disgust.

'Stinkin' John, why'd he have to recommend that?' Israel thought as he stretched himself. He got himself out of bed and changed out of his pjs and put on a black shirt and blue jeans. He went to the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth. It took him 15 minutes to finally be fully ready for his first big job.

Since Sweet Apple Acres was a 20 minute walk from where he was, he had to jog over there. Luckily everypony else was still fast asleep so he didn't have to worry about them freaking out about him. He didn't really give a crap about if he looked scary to other ponies, in fact he might enjoy the fact that he's scary, since he was never feared back on Earth.

He made it to Sweet Apple Acres in 10 minutes flat but he was a bit out of breath from the jog. Applejack came out of the house and saw him near the apple orchard.

"Looks like you made it 5 minutes early." Applejack say, proudly.

"I may act like an ass at times, but when it comes to work or school, I'm punctual." Israel says.

"That's good, now, since ya don't have the buckin' power in yer legs, why don'tcha go ahead and feed the pigs?" Applejack says as she walks towards one of the apple trees.

" 'Kay 'kay." Israel says.

Most of the day went on unexpectedly well, even thought there were a few bumps on the road for Israel. During the time he was working on the barn, he got flattened by stampeding pigs as they feasted on their meals, fell in pig crap, and even had a few apples fall on his head as he was collecting some of the baskets full of apples. AJ's little sister Applebloom couldn't helep but laugh out loud seeing the poor human going through a tough time.

"Quit laughing you little tyke or the joke'll be on you." Israel says.

"Oh come on, mister, it ain't that ba-" Applebloom paused and then started to yell in disgust since she smelt the pig poo on Israel and who could blame her, it STANK!!!

"Hey Applebloom, would ya mind lettin' the big guy do his job he...UGH, dagnabbit, I told ya to watch out with the pig poo, now ya smell like a carton o' decade old apples. Pee-U!" Applejack says, waving her hoof left and right near her face.

"Hey, don't blame me, those warthogs trampled over me like rodeo bulls charging after a red cape." Israel says, trying to wipe off the pig poo from his whole body.

"Well, best ya git all that poo offa ya." Applejack led Israel towards the entrance to the barn and grabbed a watering hoes, turned it on and rinsed him off. There were still poo stains on his clothes, but it washed away most of the stink.

"I don't get it, AJ. Yesterday, you were trying to kill me and now you're being nice to me, even after I insulted you, by accident at that, what made you change your mind?" he asked.

"Well, I figure since I wasn't aware you said those things in my accent by accident, I kinda lost all thought and had it replaced with the uncontrollable anger you felt first hoof. Sorry partner." Applejack says.

"Why are YOU sorry, I was the one who blabbed my mouth first. I did deserve that beating. For the record, the country voice tends to get contagious since I use it a lot where I lived." Both Israel and Applejack then started to laugh.

"Ya know, Israel, you're alright, even though yer rough around the edges. But if anythang, yer kinda funny." Applejack says, giving Israel a playful punch on his arm since he was kneeling down.

"You're pretty cool as well, AJ. But after I'm done with this job today, I'm gonna give John a healthy serving of whup-ass."

"Don'tcha think yer bein' too hard on him, I mean, he is yer friend."

"Yeah, but sometimes, he gets me roped into things I do NOT feel comfortable in. But you know, I think maybe I'm being too harsh, I mean he's still a teenager and I'm a full grown adult. Maybe I should hold off until he's 18 years old."

"Speakin' of adult, how's yer love life?"

"You just cut straight to the point, don't you? I don't got a girlfriend, but I'm not too worried about it."

"Why? Have ya takin' a liking to one of us?"

"Well, I consider Fluttershy a 'waifu' like some of the other bronies, but for now, you and the girls are like friends to me."

"That's alright sugarcube, as long as yer honest. But what in tarnation is a "waifu?"

"It's an otaku term for when you're mentally married to a fictional character. It's 'husbando' for the girls, though."

"So ah see. So Fluttershy is yer waifu? Why is that?"

"She's adorable, kind, caring, and she loves animals like I do."

"That's nice, well we'd better get back to work if we're gonna git all these apples harvested fer the farmers market."

"You got it."

After their conversation, Israel and Applejack started getting back to work. Applejack continued to buck apple trees and Israel collected the baskets of apples and carried them over to the wagon. The progress went on smoothly for a whole hour. Finally, after the day was done, Big Mac took the wagon with him, and Applejack followed him. She waved goodbye to Israel as she left and let him know that he finally had the day off.

Meanwhile with John, he spent some time in the library chatting with Starlight, his so-called 'waifu,' and Spike. They were sharing a few jokes to help break the ice after a stressful day, organizing the books with Spike in Twilight's library.

"John, I gotta tell you, that stunt you pulled yesterday was hilarious!" Spike says, trying to contain his laughter.

"It wasn't a stunt, it was a suggestion. His agony amuses me sometimes." John says to the little dragon.

"Don't you think that was a bit harsh about what you said just now?" Starlight asked. "It's never a good idea to think it's amusing to see your best friend in agony."

"Starlight, just because we fight and we think it's funny, doesn't mean we hate our guts. He knows that I don't mean it and I know he doesn't mean it when he sees me in agony and thinks it's amusing. We've been friends since I was only 8. He's been nothing but fun ever since we became best pals." John explains.

"So how did you two meet?" Starlight asked.

"We started out as neighbors from across the street. I'd invite him over to my house and we'd either fool around with his video camera and post funny YouTube videos and sometimes play video games. We even play with the dogs a lot. There was Maisy, Domino, Zoey, and of course, there was Blue." John says.

"Four dogs? I thought one was too much responsability, since Applejack has Winona." Spike says.

"Still, I think you're pretty lucky to have Israel as your friend." Starlight says.

"Thanks, I bet he's glad we ended up in this world. He likes you guys, but not on the same level as I do, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to brag or anything." John says.

"Even me?" Spike asks.

"Yeah, especially since even he calls you by that cute little nickname Rarity calls you, lover boy." John says.

"What nickname?! It better not be "Spikey-Wikey!" Spike says, angerly.

"Ooh, you're a sharp guesser." John says.

"Why that no-good!!! Just wait until I roast his flank!!!" Spike says, stomping off, blushing.

"Feisty, ain't he?" John asks Starlight.

"You have no idea." she replies back, making them both laugh.

Roasted as a Warning

Spike had taken the liberty of heading over to Rarity's place to discuss about the new guys who got pulled into their world and about a certain human who called him a certain "cute nickname" that certain human called him behind Spike's back. Luckily for Spike, Rarity had finished her orders at the boutique.

"Well if it isn't my Spikey-Wikey, what can I do for you?" Rarity asked.

"Hey, you know those humans who got pulled into our world by accident by Starlight Glimmer?" Spike asks.

"But of course. Why do you ask, darling, have they done something to upset my poor Spikey-poo?" Rarity asked.

"Well, if you want to know, from what that John guy tells me, he told me I was a sharp guesser since I guessed that his friend, Israel, actually calls me "Spikey-Wikey" behind my back, even back where he lives." Spike explains, making Rarity's eye twitch. "If I remember right, I'm usually comfortable with you calling me that."

"Oh he called you THAT did he? Well then, he won't feel so talkative once we're finished with him! So where is he, my little Spikey, so we can get our points across?" Rarity asks.

"He's probably walking out of Sweet Apple Acres after helping out Applejack."

"Excellent, come along with me, Spikey-Wikey."

'I'm never going to get tired of her calling me that.' Spike thought to himself.

Israel was enjoying his walk back to Twilight's castle by humming a few songs to himself along the way such as the english version of "We Are" sung by Vic Micnogna as well as "Summer Without You" by Carl Finch. He felt a bid happy and upset since the songs were all that reminded him of two of his favorite animes "Case Closed" and "One Piece" and he wasn't able to watch them. All of a sudden he started thinking about Fluttershy and her adorable smile and the signature squee of hers, making him stumble and fall flat on his face.

"If this keeps up, I'm literally gonna die from the cuteness, which might not be so bad." He says to himself. He gets back up to continue walking over to Twilight's castle, while along the way, he heard two familiar voices from behind and shrugged it off since it was his favorite dynamic duo, Spike and Rarity. He always knew Spike and Rarity were a cute couple, despite the age difference. But then what they said made him cringe in fear and find a hiding spot. He quickly scanned the area around him and luckily, he found an empty barrel and dived it just barely able to fit inside.

"I cannot believe that human had the nerve to say such something that could upset my Spikey-poo, he's going to get what's coming to him when I get my hooves on him!" Rarity says, irritated.

"How about I get in on the action. I'm gonna roast him!" Spike says.

'okay, I've always known they made a cute couple, but sometimes even cute couples can be scary at times. They can call me a wimp all they want, but if I've learned something back home, it's to never piss off an adorable couple.' Israel thought. 'But what the hell did I do to make them pissed off at me? I didn't do anything.'

"He's gonna regret he called me "Spikey-Wikey!" Spike says.

'Seriously? That's the reason why they're after me? That's why Spike is pissed off? Oh, wait, I forgot, Spike usually only gets called cute nicknames by Rarity. But wait, how did he find out?' Israel thought. He took a moment to think about who spilled the beans, but all too quickly, he already came with one answer.

"DAMN YOU, JOHN!!!!!! Israel shouted, popping out of the barrel, catching the baby dragon's and element of generosity's attention which made him cover his mouth. "Me and my big fat mouth."

"THERE HE IS, GET HIM!" Spike shouts.

Israel made a quick run for it, with the two hot on his tail.

"BO-DOOP, BO-DOOP, BANANA BUS!" Israel chanted loudly as he was being chased.

"GET THAT HOOLIGAN!!!" Rarity shouted.

Over at Sugar Cube Corner, John had arrived and started having milkshakes and a few cupcakes with the rest of the girls, Twilight, Starlight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.

"So, tell us, is there a certain "waifu" your friend has in mind? Surely he likes one of us." Srarlight asks.

"Oh you have no idea how much he likes "The ever cute and adorable Fluttershy." He keeps ranting on and on about wanting to give her a hug every time she's being her cute self." John explains.

"Oh...my." Fluttershy says, putting her hoof over her mouth, blushing a bit. "I...I never knew he like me."

"I can tell he'd give you loads of hugs no matter what you do." John chuckles.

"Sounds like a creep if you ask me. If your guys' world is filled with lots of these "bronies" who like my awesomeness, why does he have a thing for Fluttershy? No offense Fluttershy." Rainbow says.

"N-none taken." Fluttershy replies.

"He's a sucker for cute things. He even acted out his death of cuteness catching a clip of baby Applejack. But hey, he even thinks that all of you are cute as well." John says.

"Aww shucks, he saw me when I was a baby? How?" Applejack asks.

"Well it's no surprise, I can be just a cute bundle of joy considering he watches our show a lot." Pinkie says.

"Cute? How can he say I'm cute?! I'm not cute, I'M AWESOME!!! If I find him, I'll kick his flank!" Rainbow says.

"W-w-was it bad t-t-that I'm c-c-cute?" Fluttersht stutters timidly.

"Really? How come he thinks I'm cute?" Twilight asks.

"Well, first off, Rainbow, he thinks you and what you do is cool in a cute way. AJ, he watches the show a lot. Pinkie, he likes to question your way of doing the impossible, but he thinks your attitude is cute. Fluttershy, no, it's not bad he thinks you're cute, but he feels like he'll die from the cuteness in a good way. Twilight, he finds a bookworm like you to be too "adorkable" for him not to notice. Of course, with you Starlight, he thinks you're pretty cool as well, he just hasn't gotten to know your character improvement." John explains.

"What about Rarity? Does he think she's cute?" Starlight asks.

"Yeah, as a little sister." John says.

"Hmph, well at least he's lucky I'm not going to kick his flank after hearing that I am cool to him." Rainbow says.

Their conversation was then interrupted with galloping hooves and some weird chanting song coming from outside, making the girls and John look outside. What they see makes 4 of the girls jaws drop, John facepalms, and Pinkie burst out laughing.

"BO-DOOP, BO-DOOP, BANANA BUS!!!" Israel chanted loudly, running away from Spike and Rarity still.

"Dang it, Israel. Up to his mischief as usual." John says, unamused.

"What's that song he's singing, it's so funny!" Pinkie asks.

"That's the freaking Banana Bus song he got off of YouTube by this guy named Vanossgaming. He makes funny video game videos involving him and his friend beating the hay outta each other and sharing some laughs with each other. It ranges fromGmod Death Runs, Hide and Seek, Guess Who, Prop Hunt, etc, etc."

"Your friend has a sick sense of humor if he likes this Vanoss guy." Twilight says.

"I like Vanoss too, but then again, in our world, who doesn't?" John replies. "Right now, I think I know what happened to make Spike and Rarity want to kick his, what you girls call, "flank."

"Like what?" AJ asks.

"Spike figured out from an unintentional guessing game earlier at the castle that Israell calls him cute nicknames that only his beloved jewel, Rarity calls him. From what I can see, they both want to beat the snot outta him."

*SMACK*

"YOU FOUR-EYED, MOLE FACE!!!" Israel shouted, double-edging John 5 feet across the ground making him land straight onto his back with a lot of force.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FOUR-EYED, MOLE FACE?!" John shouts, quickly getting up to his feet, adjusting his glasses.

"SHUT UP, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN HOW CHATTY YOU ARE! IN THIS PLACE, THERE'S THINGS YOU NEVER SAY!" Israel retorts loudly, pointing and glaring at his friend.

Israel is cut short by Spike, shooting green flames onto the back of his pants...specifically, his butt. He sees this and takes off running in circles making the Goofy yell.

"I'll take care of this, darling." Rarity says. Her horn then lights up and traps Israel in a magical stranglehold and brought him straight in front of her giving him a nasty glare. "If you EVER call my dear Spikey-poo any of the PET names, I'll do more than just THIS." Rarity then blasted Israel 10 feet away like a rag doll. He lands flat on his face, with his butt hanging in the air.

"Note taken...Ms. Rarity." Israel muffled.

"Well, that's that, who's up for some more cupcakes?" John asks.

"YAY, CUPCAKES!!!" Pinkie shouts happily.

How To Keep Their Mouths Shut

It was 8:00 A.M, John was dressed in his sleeping clothes which was a black short sleeved shirt and thin gray sweats, enjoying a nice tasty plate of Spike's homemade pancakes. Of course, John always knew Spike's homemade cooking was top notch. He sat next to Spike who was also enjoying his pancakes as well as his jewels.

"You want to taste some of these jewels? I don't know much about humans and their diets, but I can guarantee these jewels taste just absolutely delicious if you try them." Spike says with a mouthful.

"I can already guess they're tasty, but if I took a bite out of any of those jewels, I'm gonna have to get some false teeth, and let me tell you, the bill is steep when it comes to dental work." John chuckles.

"So is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a "no," buddy boy. Human's can't eat jewels. They can crunch on stuff like hash browns, cereal, croutons, etc, etc."

"Oh, alright."

Starlight then walks in. "Is there anything else you humans eat that we should be aware of?"

"WAIFU!!!" John shouted with his eyes lit up but then kept himself from losing control and cleared his throat. "Actually yeah, there's this stuff called meat, cooked animal flesh."

"WHAT?!" Starlight and Spike shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!, I OVERSLEPT!!!" Shouted a male voice.

"oh boy, speak of the devil, here comes the buddy of the hour." John says, holding his arm close to his mouth, grinning. He watched as his friend was trying to straighten out his black shirt and blue jeans. "Good morning, sleepy head."

"Come on, man! Why didn't you wake me up?!" Israel shouted.

"I tried three seperate times but you wouldn't get up" John responds with a calm chuckle.

"Just how long does he normally sleep?" Starlight asks.

"Usually 10 to 12 hours."

"What?! That long?"

"Hey, you're no exception, "Sir Snores-a-lot!" Israel says. "Back at home, you're always staying up until 5 in the morning and sleeping for an enitre 13 hours straight!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Boys, that's enough! Seriously, can't you guys just go for a whole day without fighting?" Starlight asks. "Also, don't give me that "guys like to mess around with each other" excuse, it's not going to work this time."

"Ah, he's just a little cranky because he can't have pizza and the fact that he's a heavy sleeper when he's all worn out makes it all the more unbearable when it comes to such a task." John explains.

"Don't make me say shout out that one shipping you hate." Israel says with a devious grin.

"Don't you freaking dare!" John points.

"Then zip it!"

"You know what?" Starlight pauses. Her horn glows and casts a spell on the guys making their mouths disappear. "There, now until you guys learn to get along, you're not going to speak another word."

John just shrugged it off while Israel was shaking his fist, giving Starlight a frustrated look on his face. He tried to talk (or shout at her), but all that she could hear was his muffling.

"Ah, music to my ears." She says.

"Man, this is going to be great. Some peace and quiet." Spike said, leaning back on his chair, rubbing his full belly. "Phew, nothing beats a good ol' fashion pancake and jewel breakfast."

John and Israel then realized one problem with the whole "no talking" situation: How were they suppose to eat? They looked at each other with shocked expressions, sweating nervously. John's stomach slightly growled since he only had a portion of Spike's pancakes, while Israel hasn't eaten anything since he woke up. They ended up muffle shouting in a panic.

"Oops, um...maybe I should wait until you guys have had your fill. But I'm putting the spell back on after you're done." Starlight's horn lit up and made their mouths reappear. Israel bolted over to his seat and began guzzling down his pancakes. John got back to eating his pancakes as well without them saying another word.

"Jeez, he acts like he hasn't eaten at all." Spike says surprised.

"Well, he is an adult. Israel's appetite is way bigger than mine, but somehow he burns off the calories from all that running and walking when he got chased by you and Rarity." John explains.

"Hey, don't forget, I did some walking back home when I was walking back to my house from college." Israel says, before chugging down a glass of water.

"College?" Spike and Starlight asked.

"Yeah. Although, I'm only a part-time college student. I'm planning on getting my associates degree."

"That is IF we ever get back home...which I won't do." John says.

"Well, I don't want to leave this place either, but I still got a promise to keep. It would be cool if our real world and Equestria could form a connection so that I can visit this place anytime, any day."

"Welcome to reality, Israel."

"Sarcastic as always. Do you ever look on the bright side?"

"Mmm, not really."

"Big Mac x Cheerilee."

"GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! I'M GONNA GET YOU!!!" John shouts, tackling Israel to the ground as they start brawling.

Starlight pulled them both away with her magic while they tried to grab each other by the throat.

"LET ME GO...I'M GONNA-" John gets cut off by Starlight making his mouth disappear, making John muffle.

"HA! Serves you right ya-" Israel gets cut off the same way and starts to muffle the rest of his sentence.

"Now that you boys have had your fill, I believe you two should take this time to get along like real best friends." Starlight says. Spike just couldn't help but fall on the ground, laughing.

"These guys are a real riot, they should be in a comedy act." he says.

John had went off with Twilight, Starlight and Spike to gather some quills and some ink in case Twilight had to write a few messages to Princess Celestia in the near future. Israel had gotten a lecture for being late. He was going to get a beating, but with a little help from Starlight "shutting him up," AJ was a bit relieved.

"Starlight, I know you had good intentions, but the least you could do is let John talk." said Twilight.

"Not if he's going to keep bad mouthing his friend." Starlight replied.

'Not my fault he's always pushing my buttons.' John thought to himself.

"Still, it wouldn't hurt to hear more about his life back where he lived." said Twilight sincerely.

"Twilight, we've heard plenty of stories from John." replied Starlight.

"I mean about how he grew up. I already know mostly about his species and how their lifestyle is like."

"Well, I know I want to hear about it." Spike added.

'Not happening with my mouth gone, Spike.' John thought again with an unamused expression.

"Well, maybe by the end of the day, we'll hear about it. But you know, we also haven't heard about his friend's childhood ever since we brought them here." said Starlight.

'He has a name you know. He's not just "my friend" and I don't call you "waifu" all the time.' Thought John.

"Yeah, that sounds nice. The only thing to do is keep him and John from getting into a headlock." Spike chuckles.

"I could try to have them "Pinkie Promise" to not fight until after they've told their stories." Twilight suggested.

'Oh man, I'm in real hot water now! Dear Celestia, GET ME THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!!' Shouted John in his mind.

"Hmm, yes, that does sound like a plan." Starlight said with a devious grin. "You got any problems with that, John?" She turns to the human who's sweating nervously.

'Crap, outdone by my waifu...Well, as long as it's her.' John thought before shaking his head left and right.

"Good, now once your friend comes back from Sweet Apple Acres, then we can hear all about it."

Israel was being chased around the barn by Applejack who's doing this to make him pick up the pace for sleeping in and if he slowed down the slightest bit, she'd either kick him in the ass with her hinde legs, or headbutt him there, which she stopped doing so as not to cause the guy to fart in her face like he did earlier this morning.

'WHY ME?! What have I done to deserve this hellish torture' Israel thought, running away from the cowgirl pony.

"You'd better not stop runnin' partner, or Ah'll literally buck ya all the way to Manehatten!" AJ shouted, as she was still chasing the guy, still hot on his tail.

'Gee, thanks for the pep talk, partner! Where's my type of "Scooby Snack" when I need it most?'

It only took 3 hours to get the work done around the farm and Applejack exhausted every last bit of energy he had. After AJ left for town, Israel then limped all the way back to Twilight's castle. He walked inside the castle to see the Mane 6, Starlight, Spike and John all sitting in a circle laughing with each other, except for John who still had one missing mouth.

'Not feeling talkative, I see.' Israel thought to himself.

"Hey, lookie, it's Fluttershy's admirer!" Pinkie shouted, making Fluttershy blush.

"W-what?" Fluttershy asks timidly and quiet.

'DAMNIT PINKIE!!!' Israel shouted in his mind.

"Come on over and take a seat, big guy." Rainbow Dash says, patting on the cushions next to her. Israel shrugged and took his seat between John and Rainbow Dash.

"Okay, now that everypony is here, first we'd all like to talk to you boys about something." Twilight says. "Since you guys are here, we'd like to know more about how you two grew up when you were both kids." The boys looked at each other, but then got called by Starlight.

"However, you two have to "Pinkie Promise" not to argue until AFTER you told your stories. Can you do that?" She asked.

John just nervously nodded, while Israel just shrugged and nodded once.

"Hmm, doesn't look like the big guy is fully aware of the "Pinkie Promise." Rainbow says.

'I HAVE A NAME DAMMIT!!!' Israel shouted in his mind. He facepalmed himself and gave a casual nod. With that, Starlight's horn began to glow, making both of the guy's mouths come back.

"Now say it, if you please." Starlight says.

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." John says.

"Um...cross my heart...hope to fly...stick a cupcake in my eye...OUCH!!!" Israel says, following John's movements until he hits his eye. "Great, this just had to happen."

"We don't got a choice now, bud." John replies.

"Yeah, no kidding."

"Wow, I can't believe it worked!" Pinkie says with a beaming smile, making Israel back up a bit.

"Okay that's cute, but creepy." He says.

"Alright, now why don't you start off with your life story, John? Then we can go to your friend." Twilight suggested.

"WHY DON'T YOU CALL OUT MY REAL NAAAAAAAME?!?!?!" Israel shouted in frustration, making the others giggle.

"I'll let them know afterwards, hang tough, bud." John says.