Shalalalala don't be shy...
"And then I said, eggnog--are you crazy?!"
His eyes literally rolled in their sockets at this, something that he'd been doing very often when around Pinkie Pie. If he kept doing this, Discord had a feeling he'd get dizzy soon. "Thats...just as funny as the other fifty three times you told me that, Pinkie. They somehow get better each time you tell me that."
Pinkie's giggling was cut short by a suspicious stare from her. "Are you just saying that because you wanna behave for Fluttershy?"
In the most sarcastic tone a Draconequus could make, which was a world record by his standards, he replied with: "Me? Would I lie on Hearth's Warming Eve, Pinkie?"
Applejack trotted by them, balancing a tray of candy apples on her head and sending him a sidelong smirk. "Yes."
"Shut up, or I'll turn you into a cereal box with a Jamaican cinnamon stick on it."
"Heeheehee!" Pinkie snorted a laugh into her hoof. "I get it! Because cinnamon sticks can only be German!"
"...How do you even...?" Discord began to question, but ultimately decided against it in favor of just walking off...Excuse me, he hates walking. I mean floating against all natural law. "You know what? I think I'm in the mood for a bit of chips and salsa, so I'm just going to go to that snack table--Chao!"
He poofed before anything else could be done, and in a heartbeat was in front of the snack table. It held all sorts of pretzels, cupcakes,chips and other edible artifacts from all over Equestria. He set his sights on the likes of a row of cupcakes sitting in perfect order; he snapped his finger and extended his tounge towards the edge of the table. Like a small marching band, the cupcakes walked in a single file onto his tounge and farther up into Discord's mouth. He was hardly able to chew it all when a slightly nasally, feminine voice was heard from behind. "Didn't your mommy tell you not to play with your food?"
"Hmm?" Discord voiced mildly, his head swooping around and laying eyes on the mare that had walked up to him...ah, his favorite little ponypal--Trixie! He could see her flinch visibly from the smile that suddenly appeared on his face, but still hold her cynical expression. "Well, well, well...If it isn't the slightly above average illusionist! Always looking as classy as ever."
Trixie rolled her eyes with a snort, ears flicking with regret at coming over here. "Hmmph. If it isn't the klutzy draconequus. Still tripping over your own paws?" The ghost of a smirk molded her lips when Discord's smile fell ever so slightly. Even Thorax chose to nickname him that for no reason. It was really, really stupid of them to do.
"Let's not try out for comedy here. You'll have me slapping my knee for the wrong reasons." Discord tugged on the suddenly appearing tie around his neck, before he detached it and reattached it as his tounge. "Speaking of funny...I find it odd that you haven't tried seeking out the company of your bestest pal ever?
"If it weren't for you, I would be! She has a severe splitting headache, yknow!" Trixie almost snapped at him, her ears lowering against her head by half an inch. "If only one of these self respecting ponies had volunteered to help Starlight with something as simple as making popcorn, she wouldn't be on so much medicine!"
"Well excuse me, Miss know-it-all, but it's not my fault that kernel popping led to opening other dimensions! They need to refine their instructions." Discord argued calmly and scooped another cupcake in his clawed fingers. "I mean, I should be the one using medicine! Some creature in black came out of the portal and choked me with just air! It was cool, you should've seen it."
"Whatever. Just be careful with my friend. Trixie wants her to live through this Hearth's Warming. " Trixie rolled her eyes, but stopped and peered at the ceiling while doing so. Her eyes widened seconds later, pupils dilated as if she were hypnotized. "W-wha...t...this...can't..."
"Huh? What's wrong with you? Cat got your tounge?" Discord playfully asked, while looking up to see what had caught the mare's attention. His own eyes widened when he saw it, and a loud gasp went into his lungs. "That...that's not possible?! Is it really...?"
Trixie swallowed in fear, her legs trembling tremendously. "Y-Yes."
The Draconequus and the mare both looked back down at each other before leaping back in childish disgust. "Eeeeeew! I can't kiss you! People ship me with Twilight more than you anyways!"
"Yeah! Wait, what?"
"SSHH!" Discord hushed her randomnly and looked around the room; even though there were several ponies in the room, it didn't look as if anypony had seen them. "Okay...it doesn't look like anypony saw us...Move out from under it slowly."
Trixie looked on the verge of tears as she gingerly stepped backwards. " ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh--"
"Keep it together, we're almost--"
"LOOK EVERYPONY, THEY'RE UNDER THE MISTLETOE!"
After making a mental note to kill Pinkie later, the two former villains turned their gazes slowly to see practically all of ponyville staring intently at them. All the color drained from Trixie's face, but she still tried to laugh everything off. "Huh? What is this mistletoe you speak of? Trixie knows nothing about it!"
"Right! Neither do I!" Discord nervously shrugged at them.
"Oh I think you know." Twilight (of all ponies) smugly grinned and pointed at them with a hoof. "And now you have to do it."
"Can't we just save this for a rainy day or something?!" Discord begged, backed up by enthusiastic nods from Trixie. "I'm certain there's better times to do any smooching!"
"Nope! You gotta do it now!" Rainbow smirked.
"Eeyup. " Big Mac agreed.
"You have to~!" Fluttershy snickered.
"Et tu, Fluttershy?" Discord narrowed his eyes at her, but the chanting of the crowd for them to kiss made them snap back open. He swallowed and forced himself to look down at Trixie and the mare did the same with disgust. "Ugh...I suppose we should make this quick, hmm?"
Trixie stepped forward hesitantly. "...Y-Yep."
"Just a quick peck." Discord instructed.
"Right." Trixie agreed.
"Um, okay."
"Okay."
"..."
"...what?"
"Aren't you kissing first?"
"Trixie will not be stooping that low tonight."
"That's funny, because I'm the one who has to lean down to kiss you!"
"Just hurry up already!"
"....*sigh*..."
Discord closed his eyes tightly and tried not to imagine kissing the likes of a self absorbed companion, before he finally leaned down far enough for his head to be near.Trixie swallowed and stared at him for a moment, hesitant to do anything for the longest time. She inhaled deeply and finally planted her lips against his in one sudden movement. The chanting stopped.
Nothing seemed to happen at first, but it was plainly visible that Trixie's tensed shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. Trixie felt the urge to bulge her eyes in shock; why were his lips so soft and warm? It felt like someone had baked a pillow to just the right temperature, and then fluffed it up to be extra inviting. But it couldn't be inviting-- she couldn't possibly like doing something like this. This should've been disgusting to her....shouldnt it?
Discord seemed to have the same internal troubles upon doing this. The feeling was identical to that of the feelings he had when he made his first friend, only the stomach butterflies seemed to be ramming around rather than just fluttering. He didn't know how best to describe Trixie's lips--plump? Thin? Firm? Soft? The only thing that he could say for certain was that they unbelievably warm, like a pillow at just the right temperature and stuffed with the right type of feathers. He knew it was only seven seconds long, but it somehow felt even shorter than that; as if he wanted it go on. But...that simply had to be impossible, though a part of him seemed to disagree. And he wasn't really sure, but he thought he heard a soft whine from Trixie when he pulled away. "Well...*awkward cough*...that was..."
"Um...e-ew?" Trixie questioned rather than stated, her blue cheeks now completely red.
"Mmmmhmmm. That was,uh, totally disgusting." He turned to their audience, who might have gone 'aww' during the kissing scene, with a roll of his eyes. "You ponies have probably scarred me for life yknow! Now if you'll excuse me, I must find the bathroom so I can bleach my lips!"
He was gone with a snap of his fingers, and Trixie found herself blankly staring at the spot he'd been standing in earlier. She blinked far more than anypony would on a regular day and her thoughts returned to the simple kiss again. Her tounge ran along her lips slowly, her hoof pressed against them.
She smiled.
Author's Note
A little Christmas Eve thing I wrote, thought it'd be funny and a little romantic.
Have a Merry Christmas, you readers!
