Natural Pictures Meant To Woo

Chapter 2

Encounter Around Shot Glasses

“Ugh...” the stallion moaned under his rock hard pillow, stained in saliva, as his dizziness still had a firm hold over him. Still, his hoof was still able to pull away the covers, to reveal rest of his sweating body, although his head stayed hidden.

After what felt like an eternity for him, he just laid there.

Thinking.

Then he merely rolled over on his other side.

“Still too tired...” he muttered, eyes tightly closed, and pulled the cover back.

He closed his eyes-

*BANG*

-to have them dart back open, as the sudden noise rang in his ears. From what he could gather, it had erupted from somewhere underneath him. Less than a second later, it was followed with a tidal wave of laughter and sounded like glasses being banged down on hard surface.

Shoot Off finally was awake.

And first thing he did was to utter a swear.

* * * * *

Back understairs and by the counter Berry Punch let out a pent-up sigh. Just as she had predicted earlier this day, the old doopy stage had given up under the weight of the Friday Night and crashed down, as the huge pile of splintered wood by end of the lounge showcased.

        It had been instantly followed up by a burst of laughter from her nightly customers, as they watched how members of the rookie band, youngsters able to perform solid pieces for couple of bits, weakly stood up and joined in the laughter, ignoring the scratches over their bodies.

        So Berry Punch did what she knew best and waved the players to join her by the counter.

        “Come on,” Berry Punch reached out behind herself, over to the glass cupboards, for couple of glasses and some of her milder liquors, not prefered by the general base “These are on the house,” she said while pouring the drinks down for them, to heal the wounds and hopefully not charge her for them.

        Thankfully everything was fine, as the band instantly lifted their glasses for themselves, so Berry Punch left them be, accidentally leaving two more unopened bottles close by, as she walked away to other end of her working area.

        As she eyed rest of the bar, everything seemed to be fine; it was a full house night once again and everypony was enjoying this environment of chit-chat, smoke from pipes (something Berry Punch herself hated but allowed for the longtime customers), friends meeting up, etcetera. Everypony here was after something, Berry Punch merely was offering safe surroundings for them, away from life waiting outside the flip doors, and garnishings to lift mood up.

        Well...

        Okay, not all are ponies were needed.

        As the mare turned back, just as she arrived to other end, her eyes saw something too familiar, a pony leaning by the counter top.

        “Oh no, not this crap again,” she sighed whilst moving closer to get a better view of the pony. But then her mouth gawked open while her hooves nearly gave up upon her. “C-c-car-Caramel?!”

        The light amber stallion’s head rolled over, blue eyes slightly open past the dark brown mane, as he turned to look at the shocked bartender. He gave her a smirk “Guess you weren’t expecting me yet back.” the stallion then proceeded to rub both of his ears. “And ouch! Don’t shout like that, Berry.”

        But Berry Punch didn’t listen to him “What the hay Caramel?! Aren’t you supposed to be hauling stuff around until ten?” she then turned to look over to the counter, an empty ounce glass and piled up bottles.

        Caramel saw this and snorted “Hope you don’t mind my self service.”

        “SHOOTER?! You mixed a SHOOTER?!” Berry Punch shouted and smacked the stallion across the back of his head, sending him crouching by his stool. But her pummeling still continued “You better have bits to pay up for those ingredients or, May Celestia Have Mercy,I will geld you!” she swore as she laid her last strike on him and backed off, leaning herself on the bare wall, minus some old alcohol advertising poster from time when they were legal.

        But the yellow pony calmly stared back on her eyes.

        “Black Stone fired me.”

Caramel looked away, ashamed of his revelation “Screwed up the last haul, he shouted before giving this,” a tiny bag fell over to the wooden counter, under Berry’s shocked expression “Last pay and telling to get the buck out before he'd have his goons throw me out."

Just then Berry noticed the condition he was in as the stallion moved a bit and showed his lower body, badly bruised up especially around the back and over his Cutie Mark, three iron horse shoes. Nothing too unusual you'd find in work involving hard labour but Berry knew too well these kinds of wounds, too well...

"They also kicked me out of the company barracks, when I tried to get my stuff," Caramel continued and laid himself on the counter before weakly snickering "Well... if nothing, at least two of them won't be having fun with their marefriends for some while."

And they damn sure won’t be drinking in here, Berry thought.

Suddenly laughter rang out and as the two ponies turned to look along the counter. Those youngsters Berry had served were now leaning on each other, talking and cheering now that the alcohol had kicked in. Not that Berry didn’t really expect much tolerance from them.

Caramel snickered at the sight, sounding a bit healthier. “Guess life isn’t that hard on all of us...” he sighed and reached out over to the empty bottles “Guess I should clean these up. At least that’s one thing I can do correctly.”

But then a plum coloured hoof stopped the cream hoof in midway, pushing it down to the wood surface. As Caramel looked up, he saw how Berry Punch grabbed all of the glassware and turned around, not looking at him.

“Berry.”

The violet mare gave him ‘that’ look, enough to make him shut his trap. “Just quit it, Caramel. It's bad enough to see you like that let alone have you act that way.” but she smiled to the colt, who now too did the same. "Just let me give a hoof, will you?"

“Thanks.” Caramel finally said in low-tone and presented his bag of bits to her, the last of his money “At least let me pay up for the shooter.”

Berry Punch shook her head. There weren’t nearly enough bits in that bag to pay up for the fancy ingredients he had used up and what she now needed to stock up on. To her, it was even a miracle Caramel was even able to mix something so complicated up. If nothing, seeing him use his swift hooves would have been enough to allow this pass.

But for a far more important:

Berry Punch took his bits and opened it up “Hmm... Looks like you’re fine.” Caramel breathed in relief. The mare gave him a serious look and dropped the bits down beside the money box.

“In fact so well, you don’t need to pay up for tonight's drinks.”

This left the stallion in turn gawking and his eyes, now fully open, looking at Berry Punch in awe.

“I.. am...” but then he merely turned over and reached out for one of the liquor bottles from her personal stash. “Aha! You really ought to hide these somewhere else, Berry, or a drunkard like me will drink you dry.” As the cork snapped open, so did the violet mare turn away from Caramel, now tasting one of her finest bottles from years of collection.

The things we do for friends, Berry thought and giggled, as she passed by the now nearly drunk band that had began to sing a raunchy song in mixture of baritone and contralto.

But unbeknownst to her, Caramel had just turned to close the bottle and ready to gulp down his first drink just as a cough rang over, halting his bitter drink inch away from the lips.

“Excuse me,” the cream stallion glared to his left, making sure no drop spilled over, to see a cyan stallion, dressed in a dark blue overcoat, standing beside him. “But is this seat here free? Rest of the room’s crammed full”

Caramel looked through rest of the room, only to see that the stranger was telling the truth.

Finally, he shrugged “It’s free, take a seat,” and as the stranger pony, fine in all of his dandy clothes, sat beside him, something dawned on him “Hang on a second, you don’t look like a regular visitor.” Caramel questioned from the fellow earth pony.

The blue stallion leered at him, turning his odd pair of violet eyes on him, but before he got to open his mouth, Caramel already gave an apologetic look “Sorry, but its true. You don’t look anything like a regular customer,” the cream colored pony paused to finally taste his drink. “Ahh, this is the stuff right here... Anyways, as I said, you’re likely either another lost soul looking for medicine to fix you up or passing traveller, a salesman from the looks. I’d guess the latter, as a local wouldn't have asked my permission to sit down.”

Much to his joy, this left the other stallion very much shocked and dumbfounded.

But then, as he was taking a new sip, a snicker.

“You have sharp eyes,” the stranger commented after calming down. “Yet you’re wrong. I’m not some slack-off fraud pony selling pots and pans door to door. I’m actually a resident in this establish-”

His words cut short, as a burst of alcohol shot straight out from Caramel’s mouth, splashing all over the bar section, and he turned to stare at the stallion, coughing last drops from his throat.

“You-*cough*-you’re kidding, right? You’ve gotta be!” Caramel explained whilst lowering his glass down “I mean, nopony has stayed in Snoozin’ Speakeasy, this ‘establishment’ of strong drinks and slow music, ever since the troubles began.”

“Troubles?”

“Don’t ask.” Caramel shuddered before continuing on with a lowered tone, “Lets just say that ever since them, Ponyville hasn’t been the same. For example, this town has been demolished at least twice! Twice too many for Celestia’s sake!” he ended up shouting his last words, recalling just how he had lost his precious cargo to the parasprites.

The overcoated stallion rubbed his jaw. “Well that’s totally opposite to what father said. Well, what father’s friend had said to him. Fucking bricks, only wanting to get a better image...”

Caramel chuckled unbeknownst of what the hay he was talking about, yet Caramel had began to feel some compassion towards this fellow, so what he did was to grab a new glass from the usual place. “Here you go, have one on my tab.” He poured the glass full, just to the edge before handing it over. “By the way, seeing we’re now sharing drinks, name’s Caramel. What’s yours?”

The stallion obliged with a grin. “Name’s... Shoot Off,” he finally said and took his glass for a drink. But at the same time, some very deep alarm bells rang inside of Caramel’s head, enough to get him pause for a brief moment to let his mind do something unthinkable.

Think over somepony who isn't a beautiful mare.

Shoot Off... Now where- I swear I’ve heard that name somewhere, Caramel wondered whilst pouring more liquor for himself. Or was it written somewhere? Have only read those magazines over there. Which by the way reminds me...”

In midst of the pouring the drink, he gazed over to end of the counter, to other side of the wooden slab used to serve drinks. Much to his luck, he found what he was looking for near to him, although way out of range of his hoof.

“Hey Shoot Off, pal, do you see those two piles over there?” The stallion rose from his drink and turned over where Caramel had just nodded, to see exactly two piles of magazines, neatly tucked inside iron frames like the owner feared they’d be stolen. “Grab one copy from the pile that’s closest to you.”

Shoot Off did as told and took one copy.

Yet he suddenly froze up, falling pale as he saw the cover, and his violet eyes popped open.

This got Caramel excited over “Ohhoh, it’s a frisky cover mare, eh?”

But the blue stallion continued to eye the Playcolt magazine and Caramel started to get even more excited, as his imagination got over-

“Holy buck, they got the March mare back didn’t they?” Caramel whispered in disbelief, and as he yet again got silence as a reply, the curious stallion proceeded to forcefully yank the porn away.

Lust filled his eyes as the magazine fiddled in his grasp-

        “Oh boy, Fleur de Lis, prepare to bath in-”

        -only to be yet again forcefully yanked away by a violet hoof of the frustrated barmare.

        “Aw-Awwwwww!” Caramel let out a whimper and saw how Berry Punch waved the magazine in front of his face with her tongue sticking out.

        “Sorry pal, but I ain’t gonna hand this stuff out for free. You know how much each of these is wor- HEY!” the desperate stallion tried to grab it, but got smacked in the head by Berry’s free hoof and he recoiled back to whimpering.

However, at the same time she saw Shoot Off who was taking a healthy gulp from his glass “Oh it’s you mister...”

“Shoot Off.”

“Shoot Off,” the mare paused for a moment, Sorry, didn’t introduce myself back in the morning. Name’s-excuse me for a moment.”

And the violet mare moved both piles of porn down under the counter, away from Caramel who had tried to sneak past her.

“Sorry. Name’s Berry Punch and I’m the owner of Snoozin’ Speakeasy. All this, mind you,” she explained and relaxed her hooves while leaning on the counter, ahead of the drinking earth pony “So what brings you out here to the wilderness, Shoot?”

        This question led to Shoot Off cough up remainders of the liquor out and directly on the not amused mare. “Umm... sorry but I’m here merely on vacation... Not any work or something like that,” the stallion mumbled while Berry Punch cleaned her face and Caramel laughed his flank off. “Maybe relax a bit, look at the scenery. You know, usual vacation activities.”

        Berry Punch, not even after having her face cleaned, wasn’t amused but she didn’t get any further into the subject. Simple bartender etiquette. Instead she nodded briefly before turning round to face the cabinets.

        “Interesting, a vacation.... Anywho, did you enjoy your room?” the mare continued after having taken out a jug of rose juice and poured a mug of it to herself. Back at the stool, her customer lazily shrugged, which had her breath in relief. “To be honest with you, those rooms are not... really taken care of. Just let me know if something happens, or suddenly jumps out of the sink,  and I’ll have it sorted out.”

        The stallion cocked his eyebrow “Pardon me, but jumps out of the sink?”

 “Anyways,” Berry Punch quickly added whilst leaning to the counter, right between the two guys and tasted her own non-alcoholic drink “So, mister Shoot Off, have any plans for your vacation?”

        What she got was silence from the cyan pony. But as she was going to speak, he reached out to his jacket pocket and placed a folded paper on the bar stand. It didn’t take either Berry nor Caramel, who was already feeling the effects of high dosage, too long to see what it was.

        “Well, I was thinking about seeing the local sights. Yes, that does sound like a fine plan.”

        But Caramel took the folded map into his hooves. “Yeah, I won’t get into that statement quite. But I can tell you one thing for sure.” Then the earth pony ripped the map with a swift stroke, then again and again until nothing but shreds remained. “And that is you’ll never find anything with one of these! Buck’s sake, local tourist department was once charged because one ‘showcase’ trail led straight into local hydra cavern.”

        Berry Punch snorted. “However those ponies can only blame themselves for taking pictures of it instead of running away. Poor thing, those flashing lights scared it so much it escaped straight to the Froggy Bottom Boggs.”

        “Meh, at least the thing won’t harm anypony there,” Caramel said and drank the last of his scotch.

        But the overcoated stallion’s right eye was twitching, as he fiddled at the paper shreds. Berry Punch saw this, so she swooped the trash away and down to the bin.

        “But yes, you really shouldn’t be walking around with that. We cannot have you run into pack of timber wolves, now can we? Should that happen, I wouldn’t get paid for your room,” she stated and began to laugh rather loudly.

        Shoot Off grunted and smacked his head down on the wood surface. Caramel at the same time rolled his eyes and was about to pour more for himself from the sudden new bottle on the counter (everypony could agree on one thing, and that is Caramel has the head of a mule, when it comes to drinking).

        But then, an idea sprung to life inside Berry’s head.

        “Say Caramel, you’re out of work, aren’t you?”

        The yellow pony grunted, being unable to catch the imaginary bottle that now floated above the desk. “Really, do you need to rub salt in the wound?”

        “Oh, shut up you martyr. Anyways, you, Shoot Off, don’t really have an idea on what to do, correct?”

        “You... could say so, but-”

        “But listen to me here,” the mare cut in between and smirked before pointing her hoof between the two earth ponies “You two might be useful to one another; you, Shoot Off, could hire our dear Caramel here to act as your guide.”

        “...What?” both of the stallions finally muttered.

        “Now now, just think about it. It could easily work out. Caramel would take you to see whatever might strike your interest. He know the areas around of Ponyville quite well and is smart enough to not lead you straight into danger.”

        Now the two stallions turned to stare at each other.

        Caramel coughed “I... I guess it COULD work out, but-”

        “You get to stay here as long as this deal lasts.”

        “And food?”

        “That, and whatever Shoot Off here will drink.”

        Caramel rubbed his chin for a moment, pondering his situation thoroughly. In the end, however, he grinned in satisfaction of the terms and looked back at the coated earth pony.

        “I agree. But only if you agree, too.”

        “... Well, I do need to-”

        Berry Punch happily clopped her hooves together “This is great! In fact, I think this calls for a free round!”

        “But I already have free drinks for tonight...” Caramel muttered, and then was covered in... pages of mares in provocative positions.

        “You get twenty min-” but the bartender never got to finish as the stallion rushed straight to the bar bathroom “But you better clean up afterwards and not harm the magazine, or you will never clop again!” However she then laughed weakly whilst walking off to get the band members back to stage.

        Nevertheless, in midst of all this happening, the stallion left behind all alone took a long stare at the bottom of his shot glass while constantly swirling the dark liquid in an endless loop.

Just what the buck happened? he sighed mentally and finished off his glass.

A/U: Special thanks for NATOstrike for sorting this crap out for me. I'm in debt!