Human Fanatics V2

by thecanterlottimes

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 2477

MLP... but for Ponies! Welsome to the show of My Mystical Humans!

Earth and Equestria are run parallel to eachother. On earth, people are critizised (and even threatened) for loving a show about magical ponies. So what happens when ponies fall in love with a show about a mystical race known as humans?

A one of a kind fanfiction

UPDATE!!!: I am completly rewriting this, as many bronies have noted that it needed a lot of work. This time, I will put more effor into the story. Thank you for undstanding.

Published 2012-07-03 01:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-09 01:31:24 UTC

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“I've come this far, there’s no backing down now” The earth pony thought, “stop talking to yourself and press the button!”

If anyone were to ask Regal Jewel if he would ever do what he was about to do, he would flat out say “no”. However things had changed dramatically recently. For the better, or for the worse, the future was still unclear. However, one of the last things that was still clear by this point were the words on the moniter, “My Mystical Humans: Humanity is Amazing”. As he clicked the mouse over the ‘Play’ button, the memories of the past few days flashed through his mind.

The day started with the most hated sound in all of Equestria: the alarm clock. To make things worse for all ponies, today was only Monday. Regal pulled the pillow further over his ears, but to no prevail. Once again, the evil device had won again. Feeling around in the dark for the ‘off’, the noise eventually subsided.

“nopony has to wake up this early”, Regal though as he sluggishly felt his way for the bathroom. After several seconds navigating his way through the dark sea known as the hallway, Regal finally found the light switch to the bathroom, and switched it on. His deep blue eyes immediately burned as the pupils quickly shrank. The light was so intense he had to cover his eyes with his hooves until he could manage to look into the room. From the small window at the end of the bathroom he could see that the night still prevailed, but he knew that as summer crept in, so would the earlier sunlight.

Jewel then began to follow his routine like an automaton. Stepping into the shower, he gladly let the warm water cover his bleach-white body. He stood there for several minutes blankly staring at his own hooves, predicting the events that would happen today. After being rushed back to reality by the piercing feeling of cool water, he quickly washed up, and dried off. He then proceeded to comb down his wheat-blonde mane. Ponies had always complimented on his mane, which was an extremely rare tint of blonde, being almost white at the age of fifteen. He shyly accepted the compliments, but always hated the color. If he had the chance, he would change it to something darker.

Regal crept downstairs, avoiding every board of wood that threatened to make a sound. The kitchen was still dark, but the illumination of several digital clocks on appliances helped for Regal to find the next light. The room was brought to life by the flood of light, revealing wood cabinets and counters, which his parents bragged about as being imported woods directly from the Everfree Forest. Instead of a bowl of cereal, of a delicious apple from the famous Sweet Apple Acres like any other normal pony would have, he decided to havehis favorite breakfast: leftovers. Others called it disgusting for having pizza this early in the morning, but Regal didn’t mind.

“Breakfast, the most important meal of the day” Regal chuckled as he waited for the pizza to be heated.

The remaining few minutes before the carriage came to take him to school were reserved for TV. Again, unlike other ‘normal’ ponies of his age, Regal did not enjoy channels such as ETV and POINT. Instead, Regal was content with hearing the events of Equestria from a familiar cast of reporters who informed him on everything from the Discord Crisis, to the successful Running of the Leaves event. The rest of his family was very conservative, leaving Regal to be the unknown outcast as the only liberal.

By 6:50, the carriage had arrived on his street. The land was still shrouded by darkness, but Regal knew that Celestia was in the process of raising the sun, as shadows begun to stretch across the ground. Regal raced to the end of the dirt road to meet the carriage. Stepping onboard, he found a seat closer to the rear.

The carriage took him from his home on the outskirts of the town, onto the main road.
The village of Hoofbury was one of the oldest in Equestria, being almost 1500 years old. However the population had not grown as the ages did. In a town where every pony knew each other, finding exciting new things to do was rare for any pony. The town was also too far from any major city to travel to by hoof, leaving Regal constantly traveling down to the local coffee shop for pleasure. The town itself lay siege to a great forest, which had for many years, provided job for the lumber town. Over the last 500 years, the focus had shifted to agriculture, replacing mazes of woods with seas of crops. Even more recently however, a new source of energy, almost rivaling magic was discovered below the streets: coal.

The carriage had arrived at the High school that Regal attended. The school was one of the most famous in Equestria for being the greatest agriculture school in Eastern Equestria. For this reason alone was why Hoofbury even made the maps. Ponies here were breed for dozens of different agriculture and animal jobs, like farming and veterinarians. The school grounds took up almost two hundred acres of land, but the buildings took up only a fraction of that land. Several local farms had also donated land for the agriculture program. Ponies came from all over Equestria to attend this highly prestigious school. Regal, however, wanted to get away from it. Regal’s cutie mark was earned for being a politician. His debating skills were great, even making the captain of the debate team for a year. The school offered very little in helping his reach his dreams.

Regal hastily trotted towards the back of the main building to where his friends gathered before class. The gathering place was near the end of the main hallway. To Regal’s back was a set of blue lockers, ending at a smaller hallway. Regal was usually the first on to their usual spot because his bus came so early. The first of his friends to arrive was Jeremy, a blue pegasi who had his cutie mark in the art of the languages. They had known each other for almost five years, but seldom met together after school. The next pony to arrive was another earth pony named Cannon. Cannon was a teal pony with a short, black mane. The two were pretty close friends, but oddly shared none of the same interests or classes. Finally, the last member to arrive was Heli. He was a short unicorn, with a blood red dyed mane. Regal was not great friends with him, but the two were nice towards each other. Each of Regal’s main friends shared completely different dreams, each would lead them in completely different directions after school ended.

A few other ponies showed up whom were friends with the three listed before. Regal had no interest in interacting with them , contempt with whom he already had. Every pony knew Regal as a loner. He much more prefered the company of a pencil and paper, than to the company of others at social events. Even around some of his best friends, Regal still felt out of place, like a snow storm in a vast desert.

Then entered the mare of his dreams. She was in the same grade as Regal, but from another town. Alisa was a pegasi who rivaled Regal in height. She had a long, striated, milk-chocolate mane. Her body color was a cream yellow. To Regal, she was the most lovable, kind pony who ever walked the earth, where not even Celestia herself rivaled in her beauty and personality. She walked by every day to meet with her friends who gathered only a dozen feet away. The two were great friends, sharing many stories of their lives together. Regal had always planned to ask her to be his ‘Special Somepony’, but always choked just before.The last time he tried, it ended with two kids on the floor, a carton of milk in his mane, and his lunch all over the cafe floor.

To Regal’s surprise, she stopped in front of him this time.

“Hey Regal”, she began in a sweet, soothing voice, “Can I talk you you for a second?”

"Is she asking ME out?!?!” Regal thought, his imagination running wild.

“Sure” he replied.

The two walked close together over to a side hallway where nopony was. Alisa was the first to speak.

“I have been meaning to ask you this for a while, but I didn’t know how to say this.”

Inside, Regal felt butterflies, fireworks, and pure joy.

“-you know how we have known eachother for a while, and we trust each other with everything”, she continued.

“Yes, what is it you want to talk about?” Regal played along, knowing that it was only seconds away.

“Well... how do you think Jonathan and I would do as a couple?”

Immediately, his heart sank to his flank. The butterflies had died away, the fireworks were doused. All joy that he had bottled up inside for so long, waiting for this moment, had been replaced with misery.

Swallowing down the pains, Regal was barely able to spit out the words without crying, “You two? yeah, I could see that.” Was the only thing he could say.

Regal than forced a smile upon his face. His best friend, however, could tell that something was troubling him.

“What’s wrong?” she questioned?

“oh, nothing. I just...”, he paused, wanting to tell her everything he had felt. How he hated Johnathan since they first met, how he had loved her for almost a year now, “I’m just tired.”

The two continued for several minutes with small talk. All the while, Regal sank lower and lower. Finally, he could hold it in any longer. The flood gates opened, carving paths through his face. His quiet sobbing was quickly noticed by the mare, who attempted to comfort her troubled friend.

“there there”, Alisa said as she held her saddened friend, “Everything will be ok.”

After several minutes of crying on the shoulder of his lover, Regal was able to regain his composure, pried himself away, and returned to his other friends. The others, who had all known that Regal liked Alisa, began to ask dozens of questions.

“what did she say?”

“did she ask you out?”

“Did you say yes?”

“Dude, good job man”

His friends had not seen, nor heard the two ponies conversation. They interrupted Regal before he could speak, which allowed his to further crush his sorrows so that they would not see. Luckily for him, the bell saved him from answering the questions posted by his friends.

The day had begun.

********************

The first half of school was uneventful to Regal, who was still too preoccupied by his lost love to even care to pay attention. It wasn’t until the fourth class of the day, art, where things got...interesting.

Art was the class that Regal hated the most. It wasn’t because he disliked art, just the teacher, who would constantly “critique” the student’s artwork, which lead to her completely altering the pieces. In the end, they would turn out completely different, only fitting the desires of the teacher. He tried every trick he could think of to get out of doing work.

Today, he conducted a mix of walking around the room, and pretending to clean his brushes to get the teacher from noticing his doing very little work. As Regal set back down on the stool to add a few minor brush strokes to his pixelation of a changeling, he overheard a conversation between two underclass mares.

On Friday was an optional seminar in the school to stop bullying. Most kids thought the idea was stupid; at least at their school. With a school population that mirrored the town’s, everpony got along well with each other. A bad year would be if a single fight broke out. However, the students took this as an advantage, opting to go to the event to support others. Regal did not attend, because he was on a field trip to Canterlot. The seminar, however, was extremely emotional. Ponies shared some of their darkest, saddest secrets with the crowds.

The two underclass mares, who both attended the event, were gossiping on some of the stories told. One of these caught Regal’s attention.

“-Yeah, so he really said he watches that?” One of the Mares said.

“A lot of others already knew he watched it, but I guess he finally came out about it. I think it was stupid, it’s practically socal suicide!”, The other said.

Regal buted into the conversation, “Wait, who watched what?”

One of the mares filled him in, “Some senior watches the the ‘My Mystical Humans’ show”.

Regal took this as a chance to relive his sorrows. In his mind, he mocked the senior who watched such a stupid, childish show.

“Haha, what an idiot!”, Regal said, “Just wow, he is going to die alone, nobody is going to date him!”

The mares sensed the fury in his voice as the backed away. Regal had lost it, taking out all of his anger on the undeserving colt. By now, a fire raged in his soul, as the devil inside engulfed his body.

Regal’s cynical ways continued for the rest of the day. He thought of the colt, and things he would say to him (some things which I am not obligated to say).

School had ended, and another period of waiting ensued. Regal stood alone in the sun waiting for the carriage to arrive.The radiation of his fury was too much for his friends, who had fled to another part of the school. Only one pony now approached Regal; it was Alice.
In his mind, Regal turned his anger towards her. If this was any other day, he would have literally slapped himself for thinking such a malicious thought.

“Hey”, Alice said with a hint of anger in her voice, “Did you start those rumors I have been hearing all day?”

The anger within Regal sputtered for a moment, unknowing of what the rumors were.

“What rumors?”

“Somepony told me that one of her friends overheard a conversation that said we were dating”, Alice responded, still angry, “Now Jonathan won’t date me because of what one of your frien said!”

Regal exploded like an atomic bomb on his friend, “Well good! You two would have been a horrible couple anyways!”

Alice’s eyes widened as she took a step back. Her hoof raised and impacted the side of Regal’s face. She then stormed away, leaving a river of tears where she ran.

“Dear Celestia”, Regal thought, “What have I done.”