The ~SIVA Crisis

The Tower

The Last City

Earth

Later that day, after our exhausting mission to Mars, I sequestered myself in my room, hoping some solitude would do me good. It had been at least six hours since our mission, and I had been incommunicado to everyone, including Paledon. I didn’t want to shun him, but if I wanted to gather my thoughts for later, now would be the time. I’d be a fool to believe he wouldn’t try and talk to me about what happened. Because he would.

It was another dreary evening, with rain falling and splattering sharply against the dark windowpanes of my silent room. I was under an umbrella outside on my patio, replaying the visionary experience repeatedly in my head. Orion felt so real and alive. Like he himself were there and not a mere illusion of reality.

The sound of rainfall was companionable, a welcome change to silence. The constant tapping sound of rain falling on the umbrella and the rushing sound of water made me more relaxed, now that I had a chance to be alone. But the recurring thought of Paledon coming to see me caused me to worry.

Before I could transition to my next train of thought, I heard the sliding door to my patio open. I just knew it was Paledon. Who else would it be?

Footsteps resonated behind me. I felt his gentle touch on my shoulder, then sighed. “Are you ever going to tell him?”

I stopped for a second. It was Pathernax, not Paledon. I glanced back, and he had a countenance of concern. “How can I?”

He stepped up. Leaned against the railing with me. “Do you think he would reject you? Because of your mental state? And your attachment to Orion?”

There was silence between us for a few seconds, then I sighed. “No, I don’t. I think he’d be just as understanding as he always has been. But he’d never be really comfortable with me again, not after he saw me today.”

“What makes you so sure?”

I looked at Pathernax. “I’m unstable.”

Pathernax sniggered, not out of humour but rather out of disbelief. I was lying, and he knew it. “Nonsense. You admitted that you were in love with Orion at one point. How do you think that made Paledon feel?”

“Like shit?” I said, scuffing my words. “I feel like an asshat for saying it.”

“Hunter, what’s going on with you?” Pathernax asked. “Look at me.”

I looked at him.

“Tell me. I know you and I don’t exactly have the best of pasts, but you can trust me. Please.”

“I might be loosing it. My marbles. I had my first psychotic experience earlier today. I woke up to wash my face…when I turned on the tap there was blood running instead of water…but then after closing my eyes and opening them…it was just water. And Orion! I saw him when we were fighting the Cabal in the data store, I—”

“Hunter, Hunter, relax, it’s alright,” Pathernax said, and rubbed my back out of compassion. “You know about it, don’t you?”

I sniffled a bit as I felt tears streak down my face. “Know about what?” I sounded wretched.

“The memory crystal.”

“How do you…?”

“I’m a Warlock. Like I had told you, I know of things you wouldn’t dream of knowing.” He laughed for a few seconds again, hoping it would cheer me up. “I remember that day like it was yesterday. You came to me, asking about quantum physics. I had a vibe that you were trying to unravel the secrets of the shard in the temple. Orion showed you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah…he did,” I said, dazed and confused that Pathernax knew of something so secretive. “How is it that you know all this?”

“That’s not important, right now, trust me. I, too, have been trying to unravel the mysterious entity. So far I’ve come up with nothing to charge the relic you hold. But…I’ve given up on it. For years now. I was the one who placed the relic back in the spot you rediscovered it.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” I asked.

“Because,” Pathernax said, his voice deeper and more serious. “That memory crystal is dark and evil. It makes those who’ve seen its existence suffer their past. Unless you show you’re stronger than it, you won’t ever be free of your mental state.”

“So how did you break free?”

“I’m a Warlock. Our minds are strong and resolute.”

“So now what?”

“Well, stop thinking about it so much. Ditch the thoughts entirely. Forget about Orion. He’s gone. Focus on the now. Focus on Paledon. I’m sure he’s waiting to talk with you. Especially after today.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, shifting my gaze to the City. “I’ll talk to him. I hope he doesn’t shun me. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose him.”

“Then be honest. Remember what I said about a month ago?”

“I do, every bit of it.” A pause. The City was beautiful under the rain. “You ever want to just retire? Live a normal life like those who reside in our City?”

“All the time,” Pathernax said. “I sometimes have these dreams about not being a Warlock, but rather an ordinary man living a mundane life in the City. Being a Guardian is thrilling but dangerous, yet it’s taxing beyond belief. Sometimes I wish I could end it all, you know?”

“Do you really?” I asked, gasping in shock.

“I do. I’ve been around for a long time. I’m old. This may very well be my last service. I’ll find content and solitude when the SIVA crisis has subsided.”

“Where will you go?”

“Not sure yet. Maybe I’ll buy a house in the City. See what life is like there. Befriends with its residents.”

There was profound silence between us again. We didn’t exchange glances or words. The rain had dwindled down to light rainfall, and there was a small opening in the sky; sunlight radiated through it, sending shafts of light downward to us. The skyline was set ablaze by the burning redness of the waning sun.

Pathernax gazed back from the beautiful vista. “Hunter. I’m going to go and let you two talk.” He pulled me in for an unexpected hug. Drew back. “Remember what I said.”

“What do you mean”—I whipped my head around and saw Paledon in the doorway, waving to Pathernax as he passed by—“Paledon…”

He stepped up to me, his face riddled with mixed emotions, none of which I could interpret. At first he appeared angry, then content, then saddened. As he came toward me, my heart raced, and anxiety crawled its way to me. I began to tremble, and beats of sweat formed on my temples. “Paledon, I—”

I was immediately interrupted by a hug. He pulled me close for a warm embrace, under the umbrella, and we didn’t say a single word right there and then. There was a sense of gratefulness so powerful that my muscles were unresponsive. My gaze was into the far distance of the City, unseeing but fixed on some imaginary future it might hold for Paledon and I.

A surge of past events drowned me once again, making me endure this darkness. My throat tightened and a short intake of breath forecast the explosion of dread. Tears streaked my cheeks as I began to heave and cry in my lover’s arms.

All the pent-up hysteria and dread was let loose in a paroxysm of choking and sobbing. Paledon didn’t seem to mind the ensuing silence as he pulled me even closer, held me tighter.

When I composed myself, I drew back and tried to smile. “I never meant to say the things I did today. I’m sorry.”

Paledon chuckled quietly, giving me a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. I should’ve known that you would have a thing for Orion. You know it was only really a dream, in a way. What you saw wasn’t real.”

“I’ve been experiencing psychosis, Paledon. I’m scared.” I paused for a moment to gather some thoughts. “Do you hate me? Do you feel uncomfortable now that you know I’ve finally lost my marbles?”

“What? No! Of course not,” Paledon said, taking hold of my hands. “Hunter…you and I are going to be together forever. Your problems are my problems too. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t plan on ever shunning you out of my life. You’d have to do something really stupid or crazy for me to do that.”

“You mean it?” I asked.

“Of course I do, silly. Now what do you say we put all of this behind us and go do something? Unless you want to talk about it, of course.”

“No, that’ alright,” I said between sniffles. “I need to learn to suppress my thoughts of Orion. He’s gone now. I need to start focusing on the important things in my life. Like you. And if I can’t do that…I don’t deserve you. I’m already pathetic.”

“Don’t talk like that. You’re far from pathetic. You feel. It only makes you more human. You’re not any less of a man for feeling. Sure others might think you’re a whiny bitch that cries a lot, but who cares? You’ve been through hell. Anyone with a past like yours would know and understand the pain you feel. Phrases like ‘Get over it’ aren’t a solution; they’re discouraging. You know, Hunter…I haven’t been exactly honest with you about something.”

“What do you mean?”

“There was someone before you.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah.”

“Her name was Vixen. She was an awoken Titan. I met her the first time I stepped foot in the city.”

“Right after you retired from the Sunbreaker Mercenaries,” I said, paying close attention.

“That’s right. I was signed on her fireteam. She was the leader. At the beginning, though, we weren’t on good terms since we had very different ideas on protecting the City. We hated being around each other. At some point we got in a heated battle. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get my ass kicked. Strikers were a force of nature. Even with my Sunbreaker abilities, I barely prevailed.

“Anyways, after our little battle, I agreed to abide by her laws and ideas. I came to terms with them in the long run. Understood them. Before we knew it, we were dating. I loved her dearly. We didn’t take things to the bedroom like you and me if you’re wondering. We didn’t have the time. But showed our love on the battleground, and the free time we did have was spent snuggling and sleeping.

“In many ways I guess you can say she was my Orion. But you see the outcome to what happened was very different.” Paledon paused for a moment to gather a breath. “She was exiled for attempting to align with the House of Kings. She wanted to control the house to lead an attack on the City. The reasoning as to why was unknown. I was furious because she was a Titan, and we Titans swear on protecting the City with everything we got. We’d die for the people below us.

“I mustered enough courage to say goodbye. I felt so betrayed and hurt…I wanted to tear down the walls of the City just so I could quench the anger I felt. I cried and cried. But I eventually put it all behind me. Then I found you.

“I know our situations are vastly different, given that Orion died out of his good heart, but Vixen wanted to smite the City down out of malice…I just thought you should know.”

I hugged Paledon with all my might. “I’m sorry, Paledon. I never knew.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” he said, embracing the hug. “But she’s somewhere now. Don’t care where, though. All I care about is you.”

I pecked him on the lips. “So what would you like to do?”

“Sleep,” Paledon said. “I’m tired. And I ache.”

“I have no objection with that idea. But how about we go out to eat first? I’d like to eat something before we spent some quality time.”

“I’m game. Show me the way, Hoss.”

As expected, the streets were still cold and grey, thanks to the rainfall. A chilly wind rippled through all who dared to venture outside, sending dead leaves and hair alike into disarray. Most of the stores were open, but the cafés had all moved their table inside and closed their shutters. From behind each door, the warm glow of light beckoned.

But it seemed despite all this, I was just fine where I was, walking beside a certain Titan trying desperately to salvage his hair. “This was an awful idea. Couldn’t we just have something delivered to us? We could have been all warm and cozy in your bed!”

“Just let it go,” I said, laughing.

“I’ll look ridiculous!”

“There’s no one around, who cares?”

With a final, futile attempt to wrangle his hair, the Titan sighed in defeat and lowered his hand. Within seconds, his hair billowed freely behind him. “I look ridiculous.”

“Oh come on, my hair’s going crazy too.”

Octavia gave me a flat look. “Your hair is always neat because it’s naturally spiky.”

I grinned and pushed him gently out of playfulness.

“Hey!” he said, shoving me back.

“Catch me if you can!” I said, running ahead of him.

“Oh, you’re on!”

I ran and ran, using my Hunter abilities to my advantage. We were naturally fast and agile; ironically, Titans were not. I looked behind me to see Paledon keeping a steady pace. As I zoomed through the streets, I made a left turn and kept going. The wind was blowing against my face, making me tear up. My vision was blurred, but I cleared it with a swipe of a hand.

Arms moving rapidly as I ran, I stepped foot in a park; the verdant grass was glistening in the sunset. I was so focused that Paledon drilled me one and tackled me to the ground. “Hey!” I said, resisting his notion to pin me down.

“Gotcha,” he said, and bubbled laughter with me. He swooped down for a kiss and I welcomed it wholly. “You’re so beautiful, Hunter.”

“I look like a zombie that just got hit in the head with a baseball bat.”

Paledon grinned and got off of me, then extended an arm to help me up. I got to my feet and brushed the dirt off my shirt. He extended his hand for me to grab. “You’re one of the most laid-back Titans I know, you know that? Plus it helps you’re a giant featherbrain.”

“Hey! My brain is not made of feathers!” he said, leading me to a place, or so I presumed.

Without thinking, I nibbled on his exposed ear. It took less than a second, but the results were substantial. Paledon stumbled, but I stopped his fall with a swift catch. “Gotcha.” I nuzzled his nose with my own. “If you fall, I’m falling with you.”

We followed another path, specifically back to the road ahead. To my relief, I saw an enticing little diner on the corner of the street. I pulled Paledon with me to have a look inside. It was an older styled diner with red seatings lining little booths, a long bar in the centre from which to order, and checkered floors that gave it a retro feeling.

“What about this place?” I asked nonchalantly.

“I don’t see why not.”

We ambled our way in, our hands still clenched, and a bell chimed as we passed through the door. A wave of warm air struck as we came in. It was like walking outside on a nice summer day. Meanwhile, Paledon immediately set to restore his hair to a semi-presentable state, while I made a beeline for a middle booth that looked out onto the street.

Most of the tables and booths were occupied by other people, who had also decided to take refuge from the weather. My best guess was that there were a blend of Guardians and residents of the City.

I sat down and scooted over so the window was right next to me, intentionally making Paledon choose between sitting beside or across from me; and to my unspoken delight, Paledon sat down next to me and moved close enough so that we’d be nuzzle to nuzzle if we turned to one another.

I could sense that Paledon didn’t want me to be alone. He wanted to be as close to me as possible, just so I could be safe and sound from all my faults and fears. Some part of me questioned why he was so understanding and not oppressive in my behaviour as of late.

To hide my ear-to-ear smirk, I glanced out the window into the darkening street. Rain had shown itself again and tumbled gently on the cobblestoned ground. I was unaware of Paledon’s joy, as he has cleared his throat (nervously) and whispered, “Am I too close?”

The high walls between each booth was enough to block the other patrons from seeing, so I turned back and daringly snaked my hand around his waist, pulling him close for a quick side-hug. “Featherbrain, you can never be too close to me.”

Paledon sniggered and risked a quick peek on my cheek, causing the both of us to break out in barely-stifled laughter. Only the sudden proximity of a waiter broke u out of our mirth. “What can I get the two of you?” he asked, wearing a smirk that said he hadn’t missed a thing.

“Um, I don’t know?” I said nervously. “I don’t actually know what’s on the menu. Any recommendations?” I tried to remain nonchalant as I subtly removed my hand from Paledon’s waist.

“Well, our menus has everything from roast beef to pumpkin soup. Or,” he added slyly, “we have couple’s special that might interest you.”

I looked around a bit then whispered, “Mind if you keep it down a bit, bud? We don’t want the notion of two…err, male Guardians dating if you will.”

“Guardians? Oh, well, anything is on the house for you guys.”

“No, sir. I’ll pay, just like everyone else. Trust me, I got lots of Glimmer to spend,” I said, tittering building in my throat. “We’ll go with the couple’s special.”

“Excellent. It’ll be ready soon!” the waiter said, walking away.

“I’m sorry, Paledon,” I said. “I’m not ashamed of us or anything, it’s just that—”

“Have I ever told you that you like to justify everything you do? You don’t have to,” Paledon said, and took hold of my hand.

I squeezed it.

By the time our meal arrived, the sun had completely vanished from view, cloaking the street outside in pitch-black fog, punctuated by the occasional streetlamp; but our attention was far from the crestfallen weather.

Two bowls of soup were placed before us, bringing an intense, spicy aroma to the booth. Paledon threw caution out the window and dived right in, slurping the soup. Upon tasting it, by the looks of it, he found it was barely hot. He appeared confused by the contrast between the taste and scent.

To me, the taste was odd, but far from unpleasant, strangely similar to my first kiss with Paledon. The thought sent a wave of heat up my neck, which Paledon noticed. “The spice kicking in? Luckily, mine is pathetic.” He spooned another helping into his mouth. “It’s good though.”

“This spice is intense,” I said as I tuck my tongue in a glass of cold water.

“You silly, Hunter.” Paledon nudged me and laughed. “It’s not that spicy.”

“Yes it is. It’s like someone threw in a bunch of curry.”

“Shut up and eat.”

“No, you shut up,” I said playfully. “Seriously though, when you get past the spice, it’s actually good soup.”

“Indeed.”

And so we ate on. We didn’t talk as much as I had hoped, but it was the time we were spending together that mattered.

Soon our bowls ran dry and the diner began to empty—and we decided to take a long walk home, to the Tower.

For a few moments, we ambled in silence, save for the shivering and the slow trudging of feet on the pavement. I couldn’t help but chuckle at how silly we actually were. “If we freeze to death in the middle of the Last Freaking City, I’m going to be so angry.”

“Why? I can just revive you,” Paledon said.

“Heh, good idea.” Paledon moved closer to me, and I enjoyed the warmth radiating off him. “Good ol’ body heat.”

“Let’s go home, Hunter.”

And homeward we did.

It was close to midnight by the time we got back to my dark room. On our way here, we had run into Kabril and Pathernax spending the late evening together, at some teahouse in the City. I promised to inform the team of what was going on with me, despite how difficult it might be, sometime in the upcoming days. We had bade them goodnight, after a few mugfuls of tea and small talk.

Though I never knew Pathernax and Kabril had a thing going. Maybe not. Either way, it was cute and unexpected.

Paledon and I found refuge and comfort and warmth, away from the cold rain, in my room. We were snuggled close to one another: Paledon drew me close with an arm and gently caressed my shoulder. I inched closer to his chest, burrowing my head into it. Neither of us exhanged words; not because we didn’t have anything to say, but because we didn’t have to say anything—that’s how it is between two people that care so profoundly for each other.

I willed myself not to cry. Truthfully, I did consider myself to be pathetic, even though Paledon told me not to think that way. I was weak and vulnerable. I had so many faults and fears that I could turn all of them into an upbeat musical. But Paledon would always be here for me, as would my other fireteam members. I never gave them enough credit, for they were with me for quite some time now, and many of them do care about me.

I’d be eyeless to think otherwise.

In many ways, they were my family, even Pathernax, despite our differences. We were always there for each other. We have history, and that’s something that’ll always be etched in stone.

Soon my world drifted to black, and I found the soft embrace of sleep.