Mass Core 3: Thebe Paridigm

There were no day-night cycles on Omega. It was always lit with the same dim, inadequate light. The streets and corridors were always flooded with aliens, both those who chose not to sleep and those who did not need to.

In Starlight’s spacecraft, though, a system of electronic timers had decided that it was night and synchronized the darkness with that on a planet galaxies upon galaxies away. In this darkness, Starlight sat on the empty bridge, her omnittol open and connected to the ship’s systems. Several large projected screens floated in front of her, displaying text in the several languages that she was able to read that described the various supplies that Zedok had purchased earlier that day.

She slowly scrolled through, barely paying attention to the contents, listening to the oppressive silence of the ship around her. Zedok was passed out somewhere in the cargo atrium, asleep. Beri and Jurneu were both working on back-tracing Scootaloo’s mass-jump, and neither of them were on the ship.

That left only Sbaya. Through the ship’s internal sensors, Starlight was able to watch the young asari moving through the ship, slowly drawing closer and closer to the bridge. Then, exactly as Starlight expected, the door slid open and the girl peered in.

“H…hello?” she said.

“Hello, Sbaya,” said Starlight, not turning away from the several large screens that provided the illumination for the entire room. “I suppose you couldn’t sleep?

Sbaya shook her head. “No. The cycles on Parnack are so much longer…and this place. It is not right. There are…” she thought for a moment. “There are no trees here.”

“Unfortunately, no,” said Starlight. “Not on Omega.”

“But why?”

Starlight had not expected Sbaya to ask for a reason. She shrugged. “I suppose they didn’t think they were useful.”

“What about you?”

“Me? I suppose I like trees as much as the next pony.”

“No, not the trees. Are you having trouble sleeping?” She paused. “Or…do unicorns not need to sleep?”

“We do,” replied Starlight. “And I do. At least I do now. I just don’t like to.”

“But sleep is fun!”

“Not for me. I have…dreams. Very bad dreams.” She clicked across a screen, wondering why Zedok had spent so much on produce. “I don’t like the dreams. I used to be able to get away with not having to see them, back when I had the implants and didn’t need to sleep. But now I have to see them every goddamn night.”

“The implants…you mean, from when you were a Core?”

Starlight stopped scrolling, and looked up toward Sbaya. The asari girl actually looked nervous, as if she had said something offensive. Starlight sighed.

“I suppose Zedok told you about that.”

“Some. But not all. Just that your people hurt you, very badly.”

“Hurt me? They did more than that. When I was just a filly, they decided that I was ‘too powerful’. They took me from my parents, strapped me down, and turned me into a machine. They shoved me in a glass tube and used me to power a starship. They would have kept using me, too. Until I died an early, silent, pointless death.” Starlight swiveled toward Sbaya. “But I got out. I was rescued. By your grandfather, and your mother, and their friends…and Jack…”

“But you’re not a Core now. Not anymore.”

“You can’t ‘not’ be a Core. Once you are, you always are. Those scars don’t go away.” Starlight’s eyes drifted to her back, which was dotted with faded surgical scars where her implants had once resided. “But if you mean my implants? Yeah. They’re gone. Along with my biotics. I’m just a pony with horrible nightmares now.”

Starlight leaned back in her chair and stared at the glowing projections. Sbaya cautiously stepped up beside her.

“You know,” said Starlight, “there was a time when all I wanted was a normal life. A chance to be just a regular, ordinary pony. To grow up with parents, to have friends, go to school. Have a lover, maybe get married. No starships, no war, none of this at all.”

“I understand that feeling,” said Sbaya. “The life you describe is the one I have always wanted for myself.” She looked to Starlight. “Is it difficult to achieve, though? I should presume that such a life is the very easiest to live.”

Starlight chuckled humorlessly. “If only…Three hundred years. Three hundred years, and I just never got around to it. All that time, you’d think I would have found a way…but it just slipped through my hooves. All that time, gone.” Starlight took a deep breath, and held back her tears. “I let my best friend die alone. The only person who understood what it was like, and I just left her behind. I just…I just don’t think I’m made for that life…”

“I do not think that is true,” asserted Sbaya.

“What would you know.”

“A lot. I’m only about thirty years younger than you, after all. I may only be a mere farmer, but to me, it looks like your life is not so bad.”

“Tell that to Jack.”

“I cannot, as she is dead. Nor can I bring her back. But Jack was not alone. I met her sometimes, when I was much younger. She made more friends, and she watched your career, if from a distance. I cannot presume to understand her, but I think she was proud of you.”

“Really?”

“Perhaps. And you, as her, are not so alone yourself. You still have friends, no? You have my mother. And surely you have friends on your homeworld.”

Starlight lifted her head. “Yes,” she said. “I have friends there. Some of the Priestesses…a few of the breeders, even if I sometimes don’t get their numbers right, Sunburst, Flurry Heart…and Twilight.” Starlight paused, thinking about the pony who had become her closest associate. She had been at Twilight’s side since the beginning, when Twilight herself had been freed from the life of a Core and ascended to the throne of Euquestria. She was odd, cold, and sometimes awkward, but she and Starlight had grown close over their centuries together. “Yes,” said Starlight. “I do have a friend.”

“See?” said Sbaya, smiling. “Some do pass, as is the way of life. But for those of us who go on, there is more. More friends to make, more life to live, even if it is not the one you intended.”

Starlight thought about this for a moment, then turned to Sbaya. “Where the hell did all this come from?”

“Where? From me. I told you, I am old, at least in a relative sense. For an asari? I am just a maiden. For a yahg?” She sighed. “I have seen a great many beloved cousins be born and pass. My own father, even, but he taught me many things of great importance. This view was one of his, and now is mine.”

Starlight paused, thinking about this and realizing that although it did not fully assuage the guilt she felt over Jack, it did make her feel better somewhat. She supposed that it gave her a small fragment of hope.

Sbaya shifted awkwardly, though, seeming to be on the verge of saying something.

“What is it?” asked Starlight.

“I just…well I…” Sbaya took a deep breath. “I just wanted to ask you if you…want to be my friend?”

Starlight almost laughed. Not at Sbaya, of course, but with the almost teenage awkwardness of the way she asked the question and how nervous she seemed. “Well, yeah. Sure.”

Sbaya seemed almost unduly surprised, and then smiled broadly. “Oh! Thank you. I’ve never had a pony friend before.” She sat down on the floor next to Starlight, and Starlight turned back to her inventory. She had been feeling terrible before, but now, she finally felt just a little bit better.