Perchance to Dream

Chapters

2 - Workplace Ethics
3 - A Stitch in Time
4 - Rude Awakening
5 - An Exchange
6 - Testing
7 - I Am not a Dream
8 - Clarity
9 - Office Party
10 - Precise Aim
11 - Heart to Heart
12 - Eyes Wide Shut
13 - A Date!
15 - Spotlight
16 - Lunch
17 - Hot or Not
18 - Pinkie Party
19 - Perfect Punctuality
20 - Seeing Stripes
21 - Preparing for a Journey
22 - Return to Ponyville
23 - Arcane Instruction
24 - Self-Dependance
25 - You've Got Mail
26 - Coming Clean
28 - Business Affairs
29 - Moving Day!
30 - Toy Museum
31 - A Generous Lesson
32 - On the Road Again
33 - Tired
34 - Night Stalker
35 - On the Road, Hard Mode
36 - Pony on Earth
37 - Pony Up
38 - When it Rains
39 - Action in the Back
40 - Alien Visitors
41 - Down on the Ranch
43 - A Treat for the Senses
44 - Second Life
45 - Between Sheets
46 - California Here We Come
47 - Welcome Home
48 - The Truth Unveiled
49 - Group Huddle
50 - Not Home
51 - Overdue Talk
52 - Or Not
53 - Day at Work
54 - Civility
55 - Back To Work
56 - It Begins
58 - The Call
59 - A Great and Powerful Entrance
60 - Just a Minuette
61 - Lost Time
62 - A Swanson Song
63 - New Purpose
65 - Can We Build It?
66 - Can I Have a Minuette of Your Time?
67 - Balance
68 - Assemble
69 - We Can Build It
70 - Family Ties
72 - Spread Your Wings
73 - West to East
74 - First Home
75 - Meet the Family
76 - By the Sun
77 - Nap and Wine
78 - Canterlot Canter
79 - Party Time
80 - Beachside Fun
81 - Under the Sea
82 - Red Sea
83 - Amphibious Exercise
85 - Perchance to Dream
86 - Meanwhile
87 - Search
88 - Simple Hooves
89 - Emergency Recall
90 - Angels of Mercy
91 - By the Night
92 - Dawn
93 - Light
94 - Coming Out
95 - Every Channel
96 - We Interrupt This...
97 - Indecency
98 - Diplomacy
99 - Going Home
101 - How Things Go
1 - Close Your Eyes. Open Your Eyes.
14 - Welcome Back
27 - Time Passes
42 - Home of Horses
57 - Miss Frohein
64 - To Be Human
71 - A Formal Request
84 - Friendship in Darkness
100 - Reflection

2 - Workplace Ethics

I went through the morning rituals; eating breakfast, washing, dressing, coffee, you know the drill. It was Friday! That blessed day that one had to get through before a weekend of winding down. I was looking forward to that. I was also keyed up about that dream. I'd never had a continuous dream, but I'd heard about them.

No time for that though, so I hurried off to work.

I sat down at my desk, flicked the computer on, and grabbed for the mail that had been dropped off for me. "Yeah!" I pronounced as I read the first. One of the many permits I had been chasing through red tape hell had gone through, at last. I pulled up the company email and got to typing furiously to share the news with the rest of the crew.

"Hey, Linda." I looked up to see a female coworker of mine. She was a good girl, a bit of a shy waif, but a good girl. She looked a little embarrassed about something. "That was... a really nice email... But you really shouldn't... There are rules about that."

Before I could ask her much, she hurried off. What was that about? I had an idea how to find out and turned back to my computer and checked the sent folder. Most of it was filled with various job-related things related to getting things moving, except for one that stood out near the top. It was to that coworker, from me. I didn't remember sending her anything. Had my password been compromised? That was serious, so I got to changing it even as I opened the email to have a peek.

Good Evening Sasha,

You glow with a radiant charm that everyone but you can see. Don't doubt yourself for even a moment longer. You are a goddess come from the sky and deserve to know that. Smile. Your perfect other half awaits you, but they need to see you show some of that wonder that hides within you. If you require any assistance, please write me back.

Yours Faithfully,
Linda

I hadn't written that! It had sexual harassment written all over it. It was a small miracle I wasn't already being called into HR right that very instant. Red with worry, embarrassment, and a manic need to fix it, I swapped my password and jammed out a quick email to the tech department to make sure I wasn't being hacked or anything even worse than that email.

"Christ," I sighed out once that was done. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. That wasn't how I planned on the day going.

Thankfully, nothing else horrible happened that day, and I arrived home, a little frazzled, but also relieved. It was Friday, which meant I was free for two whole days!

There was a lot of self-pampering I did to unwind. Soaking in my favorite scent, listening to some music that my coworkers would never have guessed I even considered, and ordering in a feast. There was an Italian place not far away that delivered. Not pizza, god, what do I look like, a college student? A nice big steak with a spaghetti side and a hunk of garlic bread that rivaled even that Equestrian cookie, that was more like it.

Fed, soothed, and almost forgetting my worries, I nodded off on my couch as a movie played.

I was in stone. For a change, I heard something. Someone was speaking, a female.

"--say it's not him?"

"I'm certain it's not, but there is a certain... familiarity. His eyes... I will leave this in your hooves, sister. I can't see to this impartially."

"As you would have it. I have detected no dreams from the statue thus far."

I could hear her tapping on the shell. When awake, it seemed the shell was quite thin and fragile. I heard it break and decided I should stop holding my breath and emerge with a wide stretch, sending bits of rock tumbling to the ground.

Celestia was there, though she colored and moved to flee. "Good morning, Linda. This is my sister, Luna. She will be your company for the day."

Luna raised a brow at her sister before turning to me. She was tall, like Celestia, but not quite matching. "You do have a strong resemblance. Am I correct that you have the mind of a mare, despite your obvious stallion attributes?"

I wasn't sure I liked where her eyes were darting and moved my legs to protect modesty. "Yes, it is. I'm Linda, as I'm guessing Celestia introduced. What's this about company?"

Luna hiked a brow. "You are new to our land. Sister assumes you do not wish to be left entirely on your own. I also had some questions. Do you not dream?"

What a question. "Sure I do. It's right here." I waved a hoof around the room. "A heck of a dream at that."

Luna frowned a little. "I know well the difference between waking and slumber. We are both awake and aware."

Of course a dream would say that. It'd be a creepy dream otherwise. "Sure sure."

Luna rolled her eyes, clearly seeing through my placation. "Be that as it may, you reside within the form of one sister once held quite dear."

A thought hit me. "Were they, you know, a thing?"

"A thing?" Luna blinked. "Oh, a modern saying. Yes, in a matter of speaking... I would chastise you on prying in other's affairs, but this has become your affair." She leaned forward. "Celestia... True Shot tried for much of his life to find Celestia her match, but all sister wanted was for him to turn his arrows on himself, just once. It never happened, and it is far too late to ponder seriously." She shrugged softly. "We were both younger, more foalish. You having his form stirs ancient hurts in her. It is obvious you are not him, but that only makes it worse, in a sense."

That was more intricate in detail than my dreams usually got. So I had the face, and body, of Celestia's unrequited love? That made things awkward. "I'm not trying to hurt her."

"We are both aware of this. That is why Celestia assigned me to be your caretaker. While True Shot was a pleasant friend of mine, I never harbored feelings towards him stronger than that. Let us assume a moment that this is not a dream."

I hiked a brow at that. "Theoretically, sure?"

"Do you have any other dreams?"

That wasn't an awful question. "Since I started having this one, all others stopped. I just dream this one, or I'm awake, one or the other."

Luna wobbled a hoof. "Are you certain..." She ran a tongue over her lips. "Could you not be True Shot, dreaming of being a mare?"

I blinked at that. "One, I'm not even a mare."

"Oh?"

"Female, yes." I nodded. "But not a mare. I'm human."

Luna gave a soft 'ah'. "Well let's put that aside for now. I'm not normally awake at this time of day, but your coming required we at least meet since I do not think I can convince you to come free of your stony shell at more reasonable hours. You are a free pony, where is it you wish to go?"

Was this a test of some sort? "We're in a city, I think? I'd like to see it."

Luna nodded. "Then we shall, or rather, you shall." She yawned widely. "You do not require my company to see the sights, simply keep the castle within view at all times."

She floated over a bag that jingled with coins. "Try not to waste it all right away, and take care of yourself. Celestia would be quite upset to see her friend harmed, be it simply his form or not. I would also recommend you return before returning to stone, for safety."

That was all moving too fast for me. "You're ditching me, like that?"

Luna yawned wide. "Yes, like that. I have other avenues to explore concerning you. We'll meet again." She rose to her hooves. "For now, enjoy Equestria. You have much to catch up on, be you True Shot or Linda, dreaming or awake."

She stepped from the room regally. Somehow, I knew she was pretty, despite being, you know, a horse.

I glanced down when she was gone, reminding myself that it was a crazy dream, and in that dream, I was a guy. Was I trying to work out some odd curiosities? Was I bi?

I had to laugh. Trying to psychoanalyze myself in the middle of a dream of magical horses seemed like a dead end by definition. I picked up the bag with my magic horn without thinking about it and pointed a hoof at it. "See, this is how you enjoy a dream. Let it work and stop sweating the specifics." I could hear that man's voice speaking my words. He sounded like a nice person at least.

I wanted to put that bag away somewhere, and... it happened. It floated up beside me and tucked itself away as if I was wearing a pouch, which I was not. It was gone, like dreams do, just waiting for me to want it again, then it'd be back, I felt certain. I stepped free of the waiting room I started in and wandered through the castle, admiring the art and the horses all dressed like guards and royalty. I was still the least dressed person there. A world of horses, and the human is the nudist? That was an irony to me.

I knew what my first stop would be and found my way out of the castle. The guards nodded at me as I went, but didn't try to stop me, so I was soon out on the streets of... Canterlot, that's right. "Very punny," I said to myself as I wandered down the street, looking around for my quarry.

I didn't find it before a smell reached my big horse nose and made it flare. There was a stand selling food, and that felt like a great idea. I abandoned all thought of clothes and walked up to the pony dressed like an Italian. Typical dream, taking what I had just experienced and working it in. I smiled and pointed at the stand, "What do you have?"

The slightly pudgy pony smiled brightly. "I have a variety of delicious treats, but, for you, I think something special, eh?" His horn glowed as his cart opened on the top and out came a calzone. "Alfalfa with sesame seeds on a seven-grain bread, extra cheese and the best red sauce you ever tasted!"

That sounded good, even if I wasn't sure what alfalfa was. Probably a horse thing, or so I figured. "I'll take it." A coin appeared as if by magic, which I guessed was the case. It went into his money box even as he handed me my calzone.

The smell had my nose twitching and mouth growing damp. With an eager chomp, I began to demolish it. It was hot, but I didn't care. Despite how recently I had eaten while awake, my horse belly was empty and my dream-self was famished. It was full of flavors, both new and old. By the end of it, I was licking bits of sauce free of my snout.

"Liked that, huh? Thank you for your business, sir."

"That was great, thank you." I dipped my head a little, feeling better about life in general. "Say, do you know a good place to get some clothes?"

"I had thought you were, perhaps, a tourist?"

That wasn't far from the truth. "You could say that, but I want to fit in."

"I know the feeling." He pointed a hoof down the road. "Third on the right side. They have all manner of fancy clothes." His head tilted a little. "Say, are you a hunter?"

A hunter? My bow floated in front of me as if to remind me I was wearing it. "Right! Sort of. I'm not hunting now."

"I should hope not," laughed out the Italian pony. "There's fair little game in Canterlot that one is allowed to hunt. Good luck, sir."

I thanked him once more and walked towards that clothing shop he pointed to. On the way, I heard bickering. A glance to the left showed two ponies having a loud argument about something. That seemed sad. This was a magical place, and my dream. Nobody should be arguing in my dream!

Twang, Twang! I hadn't even thought about it, but my magic gracefully grabbed two arrows and fired it right at the ponies. The moment I noticed, I gasped with alarm. I didn't mean to stop them that way!

The mare and the stallion jerked as the arrows struck true. The arrows sank into them and faded away. I felt them reappear in my quiver with a faint rustle of wood on wood.

The stallion's eyes went from an angry scowl to a half-lidded state. "I'm sorry. I'm just nervous, you know?"

The mare turned from accusing to smiling. "Me too. This is a big deal, right? Come on, we can make it through this, together."

They embraced, then did that funny bouncy-walk away. They hadn't fallen into immediate romantics, as I had feared, it just... reminded them of what they had in common. That could have gone much worse.

Huh, maybe being an equine love archer could be nice.

Author's Note

The adventure continues. Linda is in Equestria, without supervision and with no alarm to awaken her after a long week's work. Maybe it's time to make some real typos?

3 - A Stitch in Time

I wanted the door opened, so it did. Its handle glowed a moment to make it happen before I could step inside the clothing shop. A pony was in there, unsurprisingly. He turned towards me with his blue fur and white mane and tail. He opened his brown eyes that flashed a bright blue as he smiled. "Welcome to Royal's Clothing! I'm Royal Pin, and you are a handsome slice of pony perfection!"

He tilted his head at me a little. "I'm not exaggerating. I'd almost think you were carved by a masterpony from marble." He chuckled softly as he approached, his horn glowing and closing the door behind me. "Now, how can I help you today?"

I didn't get too bad a vibe off of him. He seemed genuinely impressed, not falling in love with me or ready to be a creeper. "Hello. I'm..." Did I go with Linda, or True Shot? Linda was both a girl's name, and a human name. This was a dream. I was True Shot while I was there. "True Shot."

He pointed at the quiver on my back. "Oh! It's lovely to run into a fellow archer."

That had me blinking. "You shoot too?"

"Sure do! I was in the last Equestria Games," he reported quite proudly. "I know you weren't, I'd remember a build like yours." He looked me up and down. "And I presume you're here to get some clothes that can match, mmm?"

It felt odd to be being buying clothes sold by a horse that was clearly wearing none at all. I glanced around at the selection to see tons of pony clothes on hangers dangling from long rods all through the store. "You don't hurt for selection."

"I should hope not," he crooned proudly. "Now your size..." He wandered over to a particular set and waved a hoof at it. "Try here."

I walked over to browse the selection. I wanted to leaf through, and my magic cooperated, pushing each bit of clothing aside in turn to let me browse from one to the next. They were all made well, so far I could tell. "Did you make these?"

"Oh, no. I purchase from the best all across Equestria and bring them here for discerning ponies just like yourself." His eyes were a brown shade again as he did a slow turn around his shop. "They're quite nice, yes?"

"Yes." I plucked one out that had a bit of a Robin Hood feel to it. That seemed fitting for the character I had been thrown into. "Is there a place where I can try this on?" I was a little curious about his eyes, but didn't want to pry into it. Besides, maybe it was just my dream being funny? A thought gripped me and I tried to will his eyes to be purple, but nothing happened. Aw.

He did blink a few times and colored faintly. "What a penetrating gaze you have. Just over here." He turned and did that bouncy-walk to a hanging curtain. "Take your time."

I nodded at him and walked past into a reasonably spacious changing room. I hung up my desired clothes before plucking off a piece and... How did ponies get dressed? I tried just wanting to be dressed and the pants came zipping at me. I lifted a leg, then the other, helping them as they wriggled into place. "Unicorns are best horses," I muttered to myself as I was soon clad in the dull-green pants. I repeated it for the shirt/vest and the hat with its fluffy feather landed neatly on my head. A belt was left and casually snaked around me before clinching shut and tucking itself in neatly.

I turned to a mirror and began to look myself over. I was Robin Hood, if he was a unicorn. I reared up onto my hindlegs and my bow snapped into position with my forehooves as if I were holding it, though my magic was doing the holding. I was adorable. I laughed at the image and fell back to all fours as the bow hung itself off of me.

Stepping out, I saw Royal Pin was speaking with another pony, who then walked out with apparent satisfaction. Royal turned back to me and gave a little squeal. "Look at you! You have good taste." His magic plucked and pulled at my clothes, fussing at them just so. "There we are. It's perfect. Do you like it?"

I did, and said as much. "How much?"

"Forty bits," replied Royal Pin.

Bits? Were they really called that? I had to snort even as my bag of money came out and some coins emerged from it, buoyed on my magic. "Here you are."

The color of the glow shifted slightly as Royal took hold of them and tucked them away. "A pleasure. Will you be needing any other sets? It's hardly fitting for a pony to only have one set of clothing."

Was it? I didn't know if ponies usually had more than one or not. Royal Pin was still naked and smiling. "I might be back. Your store is nice." He smiled all the more as I turned for the exit and began walking out.

Royal tapped me on the butt. "Excuse me, sir? I know it's not my place to ask, but are you hurt? You always walk everywhere."

I turned to look at him and just noticed his butt tattoo. It was a safety pin of all things. It had a little heart on it. Why was everything in this world so adorable? "What?"

Royal made the springy-bouncy walk in place. "You never trot."

Trotting! That was what it was called. "Oh!"

He smiled crookedly. "Are you alright?"

I tried to trot as I'd seen others and felt awkward doing it, but I didn't fall over.

He seemed pleased. "Please accept my nosiness. I was just worried for you. You look like you want to move quickly, but walking won't do that. Oh, here I am lecturing you like some foal." He was colored a bit. "I must sound so rude."

"No no!" I hurriedly assured. "Please, can you show me how to trot better?"

Oh the smile that appeared on his face. His magic wrapped around my limbs like warm blankets and he began going over the basics. Walking with his grip on me felt odd, but I was soon bouncing along under his watchful gaze and enthusiastic cheering. "Now, how did a stallion like yourself manage to not know this?" He raised a brow. "No offense, but I feel this is something you should know."

Well, it was true. As a horse, I should have known how to trot. "I'm not my usual self," I said. That was true, right? "Thank you for the refresher. I feel better now." I trotted in place, showing it off. I wasn't perfect, but I didn't feel like I was going to tip right over. "Thank you again for all the help, but I still have places to go."

He bid me farewell, and I trotted out of his store. It was much easier, trotting instead of walking faster that is, and I devoured the distance as I trotted right down the road. It wasn't running, not full running. I saw a few ponies galloping along at full speed. Trotting was like, what, second gear for horses. A comfortable middle ground, that's what I'd call it.

More comfortable with being a horse, I set out to explore the city with my newly-acquired trotting powers. There were performers to see juggling, dancing, or even throwing knives in one case. A pony in a small booth called out to me, offering to see my future.

Most of it, however, was subdued and refined. Most of the ponies walked along with their noses up and eyes closed. They were nobles and acted the part. They were also boring. That withered old crone of a pony offering to see my future seemed much more interesting.

I trotted right up to her and she smiled, revealing a few missing teeth along the way. "Ah, now here's a curious energy. Please, step inside." She waved at the small booth as she grabbed a string in her mouth and pulled, making curtains partially close in. Once I had stepped in, she pulled the rest of the way and we were alone with a bit of privacy. She ducked down and came up with a crystal ball that she set on the table on a fancy pillow. "Now what brings a bright stallion like you to me? Looking for advice winning that mare?" She raised a brow at me. "No... Hmm."

Was she trying to cold guess what I might ask? That would be impressive, but I decided to test her another way. "Can you tell me where I'm from?"

She blinked at me owlishly. "What a curious question. Let's see what the spirits say." She began waving her withered hooves over the ball, drawing out a faint and ghostly glow from within. "Hear our question, tell us what we would wish to know..." A cold breeze made the curtains around us flutter and the glow brightened faintly a moment.

It was magical horse land. I didn't fully doubt she was a magical old horse lady. Maybe she really was talking to ghosts, or something else. Who knew? It was a dream, and it was fun watching her work, so I sat and smiled and waited.

The orb rumbled like a distant thunder storm. "Ah yes, how curious... The spirits are undecided. They say you are from two places, which a pony should not be. You cannot come from two places at once without being two ponies." She raised a brow at me. "Does this make sense to you?"

Huh, that was... actually accurate, but hey, dream. Anything in my dream could, in theory, know everything about me, so I didn't get too alarmed. "That's actually close to the truth. I am two ponies."

Her eyes widened a little. "Truly? What a curious soul to come to visit me today." She ran a hoof over the top of her crystal ball as it swirled with fog and storms. "Then their words ring more true. One is a dead pony walking, a ghost. He walks with kindness, not bitterness, unlike many. He was stirred by the other half who still draws breath. S...she? yet lives, and feels much closer..." She squinted into the orb. "Which are you? Are you both truly? One, dead, the other, alien. Both, a mystery. You come to ask questions, and leave me with more than I started with."

Suddenly the orb filled with white smoke, the storm passed. "Huh... No..." She looked up at me. "Not two, one. A dream. A figment, an echo held by gentle strings."

Well, that was true, right? It was all a dream. "Right."

She smiled at me. "You say that, but I do not see understanding in your eyes. Travel well, lost pony. Keep brightness in your heart and it will all become clear in time."

Author's Note

Our dashing archer pony gets dressed, learns to trot and gets a slightly creepy fortune told. The day's working out great!

Shame about the typos...

4 - Rude Awakening

I woke with a start. Someone was knocking on the door and there I was, sprawled out on the couch. I almost fell right off of it as I scrambled to my feet. Shoot, my dream was just getting to interesting parts. I wanted to ask that old horse questions.

I had the door open to reveal a friend. He was smiling so wide as he thrust forward a present. "I know you don't really celebrate it, but I got you one anyway!"

Aw. "You shouldn't have." I was a little disarmed at the sudden present and reached to accept it. "Thank you."

"Go on!"

He looked ready to explode in excitement, so rather than torture him, I went ahead and got to peeling the present free. Inside was a book, a picture book. '101 of the most adorable cats' proclaimed its cover and I had to snort.

"Like it?"

I wasn't going to trample his feelings. It wasn't what I would have first picked, but it was nice. "Thanks." I offered an arm and we had a brief hug. "Are you running around to all the office? Don't you have your own plans?"

He waved off the objection. "You're looking at it. The family's out of town and left me, so I decided to make my own Christmas cheer by spreading it with others. I got Stephen's next." He produced a small wrapped parcel with that grin of his.

I liked him, as a coworker and a bit of a friend. He was a good guy. "You're something else. I hope he likes it."

"I'm sure he will. Merry Christmas!" He fled towards his next victim and I let the door close gently. Peace had returned.

I set the book of cats down before flopping back on the couch. I really wanted to talk to that gypsy pony. Would she be surprised that I had gone all to stone suddenly?

"I'm being stupid," I muttered to myself. A figment of my dream didn't have to be upset or not at what I, the waking person, did. She'd wait until the next time I slept, because there was no world, her world, while I was awake.

With that worry put aside, I started relaxing, perhaps a bit much. With all the sources of distractions banished away, I settled into a half-sleeping state where my thoughts wandered aimlessly.

I could feel stone pressing coldly against me at all sides and I jumped awake with a faint start.

I wasn't on the couch. I was sitting in front of my computer, my right hand was on my mouse. I didn't remember moving to the computer, but there I was. I looked down at my hand before wiggling it to bring the monitor online. There was a half-written letter on the screen.

Hello and Happy Hearth's Warming Sasha,

I could not say for certain if I return your feelings, but my opinions remain unchanged. You are a wonderful person, a gift from the very fates on the world. Please allow yourself to shine and with that, allow others to realize the blessing of your presence. There is nothing stopping you from finding happiness but your own insecurity. Never taking a shot hurts far more than missing, please gather the courage and realize how much the world has been wait

It cut off right there. "Hearth's Warming?" She raised a brow at the screen. What even was that? And why was there another letter waiting to get her fired? Actually... She browsed to inbox, nothing. She got another idea and clicked on the trash. There it was. Sasha had sent a letter to her first.

Hello,

I'm sorry I acted all spazzy today... I meant what I said, it was a lovely letter. I wanted to ask, and I won't be angry either way, promise, but are you... interested? I mean, god, this is awkward. I mean, it's cool if you are or not. This is between us, as people, not coworkers. I didn't think one of the more amazing women I work with would look at me that way. Do you mean what you're writing?

Ignore this if I'm off base,
Sasha

PS: Happy Holidays, whichever you prefer.

I had to quirk a smile. Sasha was somehow even more nervous in her letter than she had been in the real world. Poor thing... Wait, forget about her, I meant, for that moment. Poor her? What about poor me?! I'm writing letters in my sleep, acting out the horse cupid I play when I'm knocked out.

Even if Sasha wasn't planning to ruin my career with the letter I had sent her, this was a huge can of worms that had been opened. I wasn't interested in her! Not like that! I... preferred guys. My cheeks ran warm as I ran through my romantic history. I'd had about three boyfriends, and a girlfriend through my life. All of them ended for about the same reason. I had work to do, and they either didn't, or they had their own work to focus on, and we drifted apart.

Hell, the girlfriend was from college, and college flings don't even count, right?

Forget that. Why was I typing letters in my sleep?

Now, I probably seem dense to you, but it hit me just then. "True Shot." Was a dead horse typing words for me?

I had an idea and quickly opened a new letter.

Hello True Shot,

Is that you? Are you comfortable? Please stop typing emails right this second! You're making everything a mess, assuming you're not some crazed delusion on my part that'll land me in a padded room. Your horse world is quite nice, and I enjoy having a look around, but, hey, I'm not making things awkward for you. Could you return the favor?

Thanks,
Linda

I stared at the message a moment before I sank back into my chair. There I was, writing figments of my fracturing sanity. I had to assume I was writing those letters. How did I stop me? I pulled the plug on the computer and tossed the cable in my closet, hoping that if I was asleep, I wouldn't figure out how to reconnect the computer. If I did? Well, there wasn't a lot more I could really do besides just not have a computer, and I wasn't ready to do that.

I wasn't in the mood to sleep, so I started bustling around the house. I cleaned. I straigtened, and I got bored.

I was in stone. I sighed softly from inside my thin prison, knowing it meant I had fallen asleep. With a practiced flex, I broke free to find myself in a darkened room.

Luna was there and sat up blinking. "Ah, you listened to my request. Here you are at a much more reasonable hour. Are you well, Linda?"

When had I gotten there? "Did you move my statue?"

"We did." Luna nodded. "Imagine our surprise when a strange mare came to tell us where you were. We brought you here, where you would be safe."

So she had gone all the stone right in front of that seer. "I hope she wasn't too scared."

"Methinks not." Luna lifted her shoulders. "She seemed entirely at ease, but insisted we come to collect you." She hopped down from her bed and approached me curiously. "Your new clothes agree with you."

Reminded, I looked down at my green clothes and smiled a little. They did seem to fit my stallion body. "About that. You know magic, right?"

Luna cocked a brow. "I should hope so."

I pointed a hoof at myself. "Could I be a lady horse?"

Luna frowned faintly. "While not impossible in theory, I fear such a thing might upset my sister. To see... him... as a mare would twist her already knotted feelings. Also, we are ponies, not horses."

"Aren't ponies just small horses?"

"Are not humans a sort of ape?" she returned evenly. "And yet I should imagine you do not refer to yourself as such."

"Touche..." I smiled a bit, the point received. "Ponies it is." I stood up fully, feeling the way my alien body moved. "Being a stallion is a strange feeling."

"I should imagine so, with you not even starting as a pony." She reached out and poked me on the chest. "I trust you are enjoying our city?"

"I am!" I was almost surprised by how strongly I said that, but it was true. My time in Equestria had, overall, been nothing but a delightful time. It was my life back on Earth that was being threatened. "That reminds me. If I did see True Shot, how would I get him to stop something?"

Luna looked quite perplexed, jerking back and perking her ears at me. "He is many years passed." She pointed at me. "Unless you truly are him, in which case I greet you, old friend."

My ears twitched madly at her words. "You knew him well too then?"

"Of course." Luna nodded. "A good stallion, just not one I chased or chased me." She raised a brow. "Are you certain you are not he?"

I gave quite the snort. "You said he was dead, so how can I be him?"

"And yet, here you are. You wear his face, move as he did, and wield his bow as none other could do. I did hear of your... experiment." She smirked faintly. "Those two ponies are thankful, even if they have no idea who they should be thanking."

They knew about that?! After a hot moment of panic, I let out a breath. It was a dream. They knew everything I knew. Information flowing oddly was par for the course. "I didn't mean to, but the result was happy on both sides." Wait. "As no other could do?"

Luna nodded as she reached with a wing, nudging me to walk alongside her as she approached the door. "If any other pony attempted to wield the bow you do so easily, it would teach them the error of their ways." She suddenly snatched the bow, her horn glowing as she spun the weapon in mid air. "May I?"

I gave a little nod, suddenly curious.

Luna snatched an arrow from my quiver, notched it and pointed it right at a batpony that came into view through the opened door. "Duck." She released the arrow and it flew at the surprised guard's face only to curve through the air and come right back at Luna. It struck her dead in the chest and she staggered back a step. "Mmmf, that stings more than I recall it."

The arrow quietly reappeared back in my quiver. I wanted to put the bow away, and it came and tucked itself in against me. "Are you alright?"

Luna nodded. "I'm fine, but the lesson is learned. The bow will not fire for any save True Shot. There is a reason we do not make use of the artifact in this day and age."

The guard that had been fired at let out a breath. "Please don't startle me so, Princess Luna."

Luna smiled at him. "You have faith in me, do you not?"

He returned the smile. "Would that were my last order, Your Highness, I would have accepted it, but I feel I am more use to you in one piece."

Author's Note

The line between worlds grows hazy over Christmas weekend. Is Linda on the right path, or one littered with typos?

5 - An Exchange

I felt like there was something being unsaid between Luna and the guard. Now, in the waking world, I would have let them sort it out on their own. It wasn't my business, really. Who was I to get involved? But this was the dream world, and I was a horse cupid, and Luna had already shot herself, so...

With a soft twang, I fired the bow that had been stowed an instant before then.

The guard did try to duck that time, but the arrow would not be denied so easily. He yelped, then sagged a little. Luna relaxed as well as they gazed at one another.

He sat on his haunches and smiled at her. "When I'm told I'm doing guard duty for you, it's always a special day."

Luna fluttered her lashes. "And why is that, loyal guard?"

His smile spread. "To have the chance to be so close to a pony I hold in such high regard, not to mention a mare of such captivating... everything."

The other guard, who had been silent up until then and practically part of the background, coughed softly and reached a leathery wing over as if to pull his associate away, only to have Luna interject with her own wing. "Tell me more of how we are captivating."

I suddenly got the impression that I was in the way. Those two had plenty to talk about.

I decided to let them have their fun and trotted away with a smile.

I still had bits to spend, and a city of magical ponies to enjoy, and that's what I planned to do.

Later, after enjoying a play put on by eager ponies, getting a second outfit, and being flirted with a few times by mares that thought I was quite the handsome stallion, I felt lethargy begin to creep over me. A glance downwards showed hints of grey coming around my hooves. It was time to go.

I looked towards the owner of the jewelry shop I was browsing. "Could you tell them at the castle to pick me up?" The pony looked confused, but nodded.

I reared up and assumed a ready pose, bow in my hooves, arrow cocked, then surrendered to the sleeping feeling.

I woke up gently. I was seated before my computer, which was on. "Dang it." So much for sleeping me not being able to plug it back in.

Notepad was open with words in it.

Hello Linda,

I apologize if I have upset you. She just needs a little support, which I am glad to give. I am not trying to woo her. My time has long since passed and I am a faint echo given your form to perform a last dance in. You have a lovely, if oddly naked and two-legged, form.

Do you like mine? I get the sense that you do. It's alright. I don't mind. In fact, have you met Celestia yet? She was a dear friend of mine, and perhaps could have been more, but I never had the bravery to approach her. Isn't that a laugh? All those years spent trying to get other ponies to open up and embrace the happiness they could have if only they spoke, just to remain silent towards her for so long.

I must feel like I'm prattling about nothing. If you see her, give her a kiss for me, please. If she still remembers me, that is.

With Much Regard,
True Shot

PS: I finished my conversation. The magic of your world is something else. So subdued, and yet so powerful. I am enjoying my time here and will endeavor to be a better guest.

I shook my head a little, uncertain what to think. Coffee, that's what I needed. I rose and moved into the kitchen just to pause. It smelled of soap, and everything was quite spotless. My guest? He must have been trying to make amends for scaring me before. I let out a little sigh and smiled. It was odd to think about. I had cleaned the kitchen, sort of? It was my body, and his mind.

Him, the magical pony stallion? Was I really accepting that? What was the other logical conclusion? Except... he was dead. Everyone seemed to agree that he was dead. Even he agreed he was dead! Dead for untold many years, by all the impressions I had been given. Even dead ponies don't usually haunt a place, I gathered.

Why me? I frowned at the question. As confusing as some of it was, I didn't want to trade it away. I liked visiting Equestria. I liked Celestia and Luna both. I kinda liked the flirty looks and titters of lady ponies. Heck, I liked having a body that was literally described as 'chiseled'. I wasn't entirely sure I was sold on liking being an outtie instead of an innie.

I hadn't mentioned it before, but nature did call a few times while wearing that furry body, giving me a new perspective on how guys visit the bathroom.

Still, if I was given a blanket choice between throwing it all away or not, I wouldn't.

Feeling somehow a little less shaken, I returned to my computer, coffee in hand. I decided to survey the damage he may have caused with his emails and found he had continued the conversation with Sasha. He talked her through her insecurities and kept trying to be, well, a nice person I guessed. He never made an actual pass at her, which was good! I didn't need a pony cupid wooing ladies through me.

In the end, she promised she would try, and thanked him, or me, for the time. She never knew there was anything odd about the Linda she thought she was writing.

It was as happy an ending as it was likely to be.

Should I reply to True Shot, or whatever it was? I felt like I should.

Hello there,

I'm glad we've figured out how to communicate. How do you even know how to use this? Nevermind, the same way I know how to use a bow, or can master a trot with a single brief lesson. So, you're True Shot? Everyone seems quite certain you're very dead and shouldn't exist, yet here you are, haunting me gently.

Your body is very nice. A little male for my personal tastes, but otherwise a fine example of ponydom. Is that a word? I've met both Celestia and Luna. Did you know Celestia had a flame for you too? She's still driven to distraction every time she sees me as you.

I'm not sure I can deliver that kiss you were hoping for. I don't normally swing that way, even if the mares of your world seem happy to invite me to do just that.

I considered through a heavy sip. It was Christmas eve. Most places would be closing up early. I planned to do a lot of nothing that weekend. There was nothing to distract me.

So, hey, do ponies have a Christmas? You know, winter holiday for gift giving and general merriment?

I quirked a little smile. Considering how many human holidays crowded around the winter, it seemed likely the ponies might have cooked one or two up to ward away the chill of winter with some holiday warmth and good times.

By the way, you said you don't mind what I do, but if you are True Shot, isn't that your body? Shouldn't you care? I mean, I care about what you're doing in my body.

I think that's all the questions I have.

Be good,
Linda

I went about doing what I usually did on that holiday. I put on some Netflix and chilled. All my work was done, for the moment, and I was off, so there wasn't a lot else to do but be glad I had a nice warm house away from the frigid outdoors.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but the cool feel of stone was quite hint enough that I had. I could hear talking. Celestia?

"They brought him in like that?"

I could hear Luna replying, "So it would seem. As ever the looker, is he not?"

There was a delay, perhaps to give Celestia time to blush. "Is he adjusting?"

"He is. He continues to prattle on about his dream world, but it seems clear he enjoys his time here. Perhaps we will win him back."

Win him back?

"We can't cure him without him wanting to be cured, sister. Has he... mentioned me?"

Luna let out a quiet sigh. "I am afraid, while he remains confused, he remembers little. There are hints of him, reminders that it truly is him, but, to answer clearly, no. No he has not."

They were talking about me, clearly. Rather, they were talking about True Shot, who they seemed to have decided was me. Linda was just a fabrication of a long banished soul. A comforting phantasm that let him return to them.

I shivered faintly in my stone prison. I didn't like that idea at all. I had a life! I had a history!

I heard hoofsteps circling me. "This stance of all things... When he was a statue originally, he was chaste and clean."

Luna snorted. "He is a stallion. He has all the pieces to prove the fact."

"And yet, he claims to have a mare's mind? Do you think it... Is he avoiding me?"

"No! Sister, no. He harbors no ill feelings towards you that I can discern."

Holding my breath was becoming a challenge. The faint pocket of air in there was growing stale. I had to break free, even if I wanted to hear more of their conversation.

I gave an almost frantic heave, shattering the stone and sending it spilling to the ground in a shower.

Luna and Celestia both jumped back as I fell to all fours before them. "Hello." Not the most dramatic way to greet them, but it's what I had.

Celestia flushed faintly . "Hello, T--Linda."

Luna nodded. "Good evening. You are waking more frequently." The way she said it implied she was happy about the fact.

I regarded Celestia. She really did hope I would be her True Shot.

But who said I wasn't. To me, it was all a dream, and in that dream, I was True Shot, handsome stallion archer. I tried to accept that reality, standing tall. "Celestia, there's something I've waited too long to tell you."

She blinked once and perked up. "What is that, Linda?"

I stepped forward towards that tall princess. I was larger than most mares, but Celestia was not most mares. She was taller than me still, and I had to lean my head back and push up as best I can to press my horsey lips to hers.

We kissed. Right there, lips to lips.

I heard Luna gasp. I felt Celestia melt. She pressed against me and our magics wrapped around one another, pulling the other into the exchange. It seemed to go on forever, and it was... a lot nicer than I thought it would be. I was kissing a pony princess, and I kind of liked it.

Finally, she drew back, her tongue darting out over her lips as if to taste me. "True Shot..."

I perked my ears at her. "You've waited so long to hear this, but I love you, Celestia. I always have, and it was my deepest regret that I never said so!"

She recoiled, almost stumbling as she fell back. "D-do you mean that?! Tr--Linda? You are Linda?"

"Not here, not now." I smiled. This was pony land. I was a pony, and that was alright. I could live the dream, literally. "I am True Shot, and I'm sorry for all the hurt I put you through, Celestia."

Luna cleared her throat. "Before you two get too involved. True Shot, welcome back, old friend. Have you truly returned to us?"

Had he? "I don't remember a lot of things. I'm willing to be True Shot for now. Is that enough?"

Celestia tensed a moment before she nodded. "More than I ever expected. I... I have to go." She turned and fled from the room on golden hooves.

Luna watched her before looking back to me. "You've startled her terribly, but if you are making this progress, it will be for the better in the end. Speak truly, have you seen your dreams for dreams?"

I blinked at her. "This is the dream, Luna."

Luna frowned a little. "How can I prove otherwise?" She sat and clopped her forehooves. "Ah ha! I know."

Author's Note

Luna has an idea. Is it a solution, or a typo?

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6 - Testing

Luna led me along with an energetic trot full of purpose. "I know precisely what to do," she repeated as she went. "But you have to at least give me the benefit of a chance. A pony can remain resolute on any matter of things if they wish to be. Are you willing to at least entertain me?"

I raised a brow as I went, uncertain she would have much chance. I'd lived all my life, while I'd been a pony for, what, a few days? "I'll hear you out, Luna." That was the least I could do. Luna hadn't been bad to me at all. Of course, she was also a figment of my mind, so maybe she'd find some argument that could get under my skin?

Luna stepped into a small office-like room with a single desk, but a very overburdened shelf full of scrolls and books. "This is the primary census taking room." She settled behind the desk. "I wish to ask you some questions."

Questions? "I thought you wanted to prove something."

Luna's horn glowed as the book on the desk, the largest, flipped open. "I shall. Question one, city and precise time of birth."

I blinked softly, trying to recall that. It'd been a while since I needed that information, and it didn't want to come to me.

Luna could see the confusion written all over my face. "That's alright, question 2, the names of your parents, maiden names please."

"Patrick!" I blurted out almost defensively. That was my father.

Luna nodded. "Last name?"

Last name... Last name... why wasn't it coming to me? Oh. I suddenly relaxed. It was a dream. Facts about the waking world can often become distorted. The brain worked in weird ways. "I'm afraid the dream is fogging up the details."

Luna leveled a silver-clad hoof at me. "Which dream? You certainly did not seem uncertain when you were kissing my sister. What prompted that?"

I blinked at her. "True Shot told me to, and that he did have feelings for her. I wasn't lying."

"The dead do not speak." Luna nodded. "Unless you are the dead. Funny how you recall that information... Let us continue." She flipped the page. "You live at: Please provide specific street address if your city has such."

I felt anger rising in me. Why was she grilling me? "I have a very nice house."

"We are certain you do. Where is it?"

The address didn't want to surface anymore than my parent's names. "Look, it's hard to remember that while I'm asleep."

Luna cocked a brow. "And yet you remember other things just fine? Speak truthfully, how did you meet Celestia?"

"She came in the garden after I burst out of the statue. I tried hiding from her."

Luna nodded. "There are three kinds of ponies, those are?"

I blinked. "Four."

"Hmm?"

"Four kinds. Earth ponies, unicorns, pegasi, and the ones with all three. Five if you count your guards as distinct from pegasi. Do you?"

Luna smiled deviously. "Very astute of you." She tapped at the book. "Where do you work?"

"Stop it!" I drove a hoof into the ground with a loud clop. "I work where I've been working for years. We're about to put the lid on a huge deal and I'm one of the main people responsible for it. If it wasn't Christmas weekend, I might even have stayed at work to get it done."

"Does it have a name?"

Confusion, anger, and a little shame built up in me to dangerous levels. I could hear my heart thudding in my furry ears. "Stop it!"

"What city is it in? What city do you live in?" She leaned forward, her face set as if to deliver the final blow. "What is your own last name?"

"Shot!" I blurted out, a thin line of spittle hanging from my snout. She had literally worked me into a frothing lather.

"Linda Shot?" Luna was calm and collected. She watched me with patience even as I fell apart.

That didn't sound right. Nothing sounded right. "Leave me--"

I sat up like a bolt from the bed I didn't remember going to sleep in. "--alone!"

My heart was racing in my chest. My human chest, and my human bed, and everything else around me was as I remembered it. I slid down to naked feet, my naked legs shaking. It was quiet, too quiet. I hated it, and I loved it. Luna wasn't there, driving me crazy. How dare she! I looked around my bedroom before storming out into the living room.

As if this wasn't real?! I remembered it all! I grabbed a plaque off the wall that declared me employee of the quarter.

Which quarter? I'm not sure what brought on the question, but I started looking at the plaque more closely. It didn't have a year or quarter specified. It just said 'of the quarter', as if there were only one. I dropped it like it was on fire.

"No! No no no no!"

I raced for the phone and got to mashing buttons. It started to ring in my shaking hands. "Pick up, please..."

There was a soft click. "Linda?"

"Dad!" Oh thank all the gods I could name. "Dad, please."

"What's wrong? Linda? Tell me."

"N-nothing, everything! Please... What's mom's name?"

The line went quiet.

"Dad?"

I heard a click.

I drew in a ragged gasp as the phone fell from numb fingers.

Another thought came to me and I raced outside in my pajamas. I didn't care about that, or the biting cold of winter. I had to see it! There, on the front of my house, the number. I knew it was a number. It was clearly a number. Why couldn't I read the specific digits? I gaped at the front of my house, staring at those numbers.

"A lie..." Everything? Everything...

I would have collapsed there on the spot, if not for the biting cold that made me stagger back inside. I slammed the door shut behind me and collapsed against it. "I'm not a lie..." I had a life! It was a long one, a productive one. I had done and seen things. You can't just... suddenly say it's all been fake.

Ding. My computer made a soft sound that noted an email had arrived.

Desperate for validation, I scrambled over to it and clicked on that mail without even looking at the header.

Hello Linda,

I'm afraid the client cancelled at the last second. It's not your fault, but we really needed that client. We're closing up. That was make or break and, well, guess it's break. We'll be sure to report you as a glowing candidate for any future jobs you apply to.

Merry Christmas,
Karl Paolo, CEO

Linda's fingers slipped off her mouse. She was fired. "Merry... Christmas..." It was Christmas, and she was unemployed and out of luck. Well, that, or she was a handsome pony archer that had wild dreams of being a human woman. One or the other. Both were terrifying.

Moisture fell on Linda's shaking hands. She was crying. Why shouldn't she be? No matter which way she sliced it, everything was coming apart.

A new thought came. "I can prove it!" She stood, shaking like a leaf, and approached the kitchen. She drew out her sharpest cutting knife, the sort reserved for big roasts and birds. She watched the light play off that razor's edge. It would only take a single cut, then she'd know... She'd know for sure. All uncertainty would be dashed, washed away in red.

She clenched her teeth and her fingers, blade dancing in her shaking grip. Just one... cut... Suddenly the ringing in her ears she didn't realize was there broke. "What am I doing?" I asked myself, suddenly back in my own body. I dropped that knife on the counter with a little yelp.

"Look, girl, relax," I scolded myself. "Stop... However bad this is, not like that." I closed my eyes a moment, forcing my breathing down, calming my racing heart. "We've been through worse. We'll get through this..." I remembered back when I had to spend practically a whole quarter of college living on the street and/or crashing on couches of friends. It had been rough, but I had made it.

I smiled a little, comforted by the memory. "I'm not a lie..."

With sanity returning, I moved for my computer and pulled up my bank account. I had enough to float a few months without worry. "You're freaking out about nothing." Not nothing, but something we could handle. I was no slouch, and I could get another job, after the holidays blew past. "In... out..." I coached myself, taking slow breaths and centering my frazzled nerves.

Suddenly I was in stone, but only partially. My head was free, and my body was still stone, entirely. I couldn't feel any of it. Luna was there, and a purple alicorn beside her. I tried to escape, but couldn't. I was stone, all stone! I freaked out, but my breath barely came at all. How could it? My lungs were stone!

Luna came close swiftly. "Shh, relax, please, relax. We'll have you free shortly."

The other one's horn was glowing brightly. Was she working on freeing me? I felt like I was half dead, which I sort of was. My vision swam with spots. I needed to breathe and I couldn't!

The magic pressed down, slowly returning more and more of me to flesh as I whimpered nigh-silently.

Just as things began to dim, blessed breath washed into my returned lungs. I gave a croak of a gasp, slumping as I gulped desperately for that air, each and every mouthful.

"W-what?" I asked.

Luna gestured at the other. "Meet Princess Twilight Sparkle, a most talented spellcaster. She has had personal experience with petrification and knew a spell to cure it. She is doing that now."

Twilight nodded a little, but her eyes were focused on me and her horn glowed with magic. She was still working, clearly.

Now that I could feel my heart thumping violently and feel my chest expand and contract in the gentle motions of life, I could try to control myself. I wasn't dying... "Why?" Tears stung at my eyes. It was too much. Everything was too much.

Luna softly tapped at my side. "We had not finished our conversation. I also wished you to meet Twilight. She is a good pony, an avid scholar, and perhaps she can bring to light what has been hidden from us both. Are you well?"

"No!" That much I felt clearly. I was far from alright. "My father hung up on me, my job fired me... You keep asking questions."

Twilight's horn dimmed as the last of me was freed from stone. There was no shell that time. She had restored me completely. "Hung up on you?" she asked. "Oh! I heard that before. You were using a phone?"

I blinked at Twilight. How did a magical horse know about those sorts of things. "Yes?"

Twilight bobbed her head. "We have those, but they are far less prevalent than in the human world. Luna said you believe you're a human?"

Author's Note

Maybe Twilight can help us get answers? She'll at least point out the typos for us.

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7 - I Am not a Dream

While Twilight looked like she was ready to compare notes, I was feeling far less chatty. "Put me back," I said in a dead tone that I'd never heard myself use before. It felt as dead as I felt in my chest. Nothing was right.

Luna tilted her head. "From what you--"

I picked up a little container of ink I saw on the desk and hurled it at Luna with my magic. It bounced off her shocked face as ink flew everywhere, splattering her already dark fur. It struck the ground with a little metal noise before it came to a rest. The room was silent.

Twilight blinked softly. "Are you... alright?"

"No!" I wheeled on her. "I'm very far from alright! I want my life back, right now. Send. Me. Back."

Luna's horn glowed as she began clearing away the ink. "All evidence points towards your human--"

"No." I clopped a hoof. "Bring me one of those books right now."

Twilight grabbed a book with her magic and pulled it over. "No throwing, alright?"

"No throwing," I accepted, then took the book with my own magic and unfolded it. I stared hard at the first page, reading it purposefully, or I would have, if any of the letters made sense. The more I focused, the less sense it made. It was words, I knew that much. It was just like the front of my house.

"I have a new theory." I sat up, a new calm descending on me. "Either both worlds are a dream and I'm in a coma somewhere, or neither are. "Put me back now." I felt calm. It was an unnatural calm. I was losing it, and I could feel it, and didn't care.

Twilight shook her head. "I don't know how to do that. The only things we have capable of petrification are wild cockatrices, and the Elements of Harmony, and we don't have that, and it only works on bad ponies, which you are not, from what I've been told. Besides that, even if we did do that, there wouldn't be any guarantee you would transition to... wherever you were."

Luna gave an uncertain smile. "We're getting off-topic. Why do you suggest that? I can say with reasonable certainty that this world is no dream."

I gave her a glare. "What makes you the expert?"

Twilight coughed softly, but it was Luna who spoke, "I am the princess of the night, and dreams are my domain. I regularly patrol them for the sake of my people. I would say that give me some credence towards knowledge on the matter."

"Oh." I frowned at her. "Alright, great. Then you tell me, Miss Expert, why can't I read this?" I pointed at the book accusingly. "I bet if I specifically try, I won't be able to read anything, anywhere."

Twilight raised a hoof. "Maybe our written languages are different?"

"No." I shook my head. "It's not 'alien', it's nonsense jumbles that change if I so much as glance away. The numbers on my house did the same thing. I know they're writing, but I can't read them."

Luna frowned softly. "Perhaps you are injured?"

I grunted with building frustration. "My entire life is injured!" I took a shaking breath. Lashing out at them wasn't helping anyone. "Look, please... My life wasn't a dream. I know it wasn't. Please accept that."

Luna was still a moment before she nodded. "Very well. As hard as it is to hear the words of a scared mare issuing from the snout of a departed friend. I accept this, for your sake. You deserve to not have your world denied."

Twilight smiled suddenly. "Can you tell me about your world?"

I blinked at her. Why was she so happy? "Wait, didn't you say something about a 'human world' before? You already know about it?"

"Bits and pieces." Twilight wobbled a hoof. "I've only visited a few times, and never for very long. I will say that the human world is no dream." She glanced at Luna and back at me. "Can you tell me about yourself, as a human?"

She believed me. I felt tension melt from me. I think I liked that purple pony. I began to describe the job I had as the grease between the wheels. I got all the red tape out of the way to make projects move forward, and I was good at my job, or so I thought. I worked out contracts, investigated local laws, and followed all relevant news to keep us on track. It was hard work, but work I enjoyed. I had several great coworkers, some of them even good friends. I described how one came by my house in the middle of all this just to wish me a happy holidays and give me a little gift. It had been so nice of him.

"He does sound like a nice pony." I blinked at Twilight at that wording and she chuckled nervously. "Person! Person, sorry. So, you, you're named Linda, right?"

I could see Luna tense, but I nodded at Twilight. "Right. Linda F--"

The world fractured. I could hear a knocking on a door. I could feel my pony body stiffen unnaturally. I was caught between worlds, and it sucked a lot. I couldn't really move either body. I could hear Twilight say something in alarm. I could feel magic on me. I could hear that knocking getting louder.

With effort, I raised my hand and my hoof at once. I said... something. I couldn't tell what it was. I was slowly standing up. Twilight said something. Luna said something. That knocking wouldn't stop!

I was standing. I could see the front door. I struggled to it, each step slow and painfully disjointed. Human bodies and pony bodies do not move the same way, let me tell you.

My hand settled on the knob. My pony hoof met no such thing.

Suddenly it was clear again. I was a human woman holding a doorknob. The pony world fell away.

Heaving loudly for breath, I wrenched the door open almost angrily.

A police officer stood there, blinking at me. "Is everything alright, ma'am?"

Of all the people, I did not expect that. "Rough holidays," I muttered, glad I could understand him, and speak. "What's up?"

He gave a little smile. "Your friend's been trying to reach you and thought you might be hurt."

Suddenly poking his head out from behind the policeman was Kevin, the friend that had brought me the gift. He looked quite relieved. "Linda! Sorry for calling the cavalry. I didn't know what else to do."

The policeman tipped his hat. "And here he is. I trust you know him?"

I smiled. "Kevin..." I had forgotten his name to whatever madness this whole thing had infected me with. "Please, come in. I'm alright, officer, thank you."

Sticking around long enough to peer around and see nothing looked smashed, or maybe sniffing for drugs, the policeman did eventually retreat, leaving me with my friend.

"Linda, I tried calling you, no answer, and I knocked, nothing. I had a terrible feeling. Like..." He was fidgeting and looking nervous. "Jesus, listen to me. You're probably fine."

I had to laugh at that. "N-no... A lot of things, not fine. Thank you." I hugged him tight. "What's my last name?"

He started with surprise. "Is this a test? You are Linda Frohein, a name I always thought was cool. You're an amazing part of my team, and I respect you, as a person, and a professional." He glanced and saw the cat book. "Hey, did you like it?"

I let him go from my frantic grip. "That gift was one of the nicer things I got this weekend. Look..." It was time to do some fact checking. "Look, I'm going to ask some questions that sound crazy and stupid, but, please--"

"Hey, it's alright." He led me towards the chair that rested at the counter between the kitchen and the living room. "Look, you're obviously way frazzled. I'm not here to judge, honest. I mean who am I to talk? At my coworker's house on Christmas, stalking her a little creepily." He gave a nervous little laugh. "So, go ahead."

"R-right..." I took a moment to just breathe, and he went off to start making some hot cocoa. By the time he returned, I felt ready to ask the first question. "Were we just fired or not?"

"W-what?" He gave me the cup and pulled out his phone. I could see him pulling up his email. "Huh, if we are, this is the strangest termination letter I ever got." He turned it so I could see, but it was all gibberish to me. I couldn't relax and 'let' the words be words. I was still in a dreaming state of some kind.

"What does it say?"

He looked baffled. "Are you alright?" I gave him a look. "Right right, forget I asked. It basically goes on about a great year. The client's given the final approval and I, at least, got a big fat bonus. I can't imagine you didn't too. What do you mean fired?"

I didn't know what to believe anymore. But Kevin was there. Blessed Kevin. At least there was one bit of stability. "Could you go check on my computer?" I pointed to the machine that I didn't dare approach that moment. I sipped at the hot chocolate and felt warmth spread through me. I hadn't had that particular treat in some time, and it brought a little smile to my face.

Kevin tro--jogged over to the computer, waggled the mouse, and got my email up in a snap. "Oh, you were just reading it? Same as mine, ya know, minus the name. Heh, figures they'd send a congratulations as a form-letter." He tapped the screen. "They gave you more of a bonus than me, pfft, figures."

My life hadn't fallen apart? Maybe... I could wait to try calling my father again. "Would you like to hang out?"

"Hmm?"

"For Christmas, you know, as friends." I gave a bit of a smile. "I don't want to be alone right now."

He gave a laugh that had a little bitterness in it. "I can feel that. Why do you think I came over?" He saw my remote and snatched it. "Got Netfix?" As it turned out, I did, and soon we were enjoying some Christmas specials.

I was still confused about so many things, but I felt better. Kevin wasn't a lie, and I wasn't either. I'd get through this, somehow.

Author's Note

Things get real? Maybe.

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8 - Clarity

While the shows were pleasant enough, I could see Kevin was nervous about something. Did he think I was nuts? I couldn't rightly say he'd be wrong to think so.

I couldn't stand the uncertainty. I had too much of that already. "Kevin?"

"It's my fault."

What? "What?"

He stood up. "I'm not Kevin. Nice guy, but I'm not him."

I didn't need this! "Who are you then?" I asked with a weary noise.

"Someone who should have known better." Kevin gave a sad little smile. "You know me as True Shot, and I've been bungling this whole thing up."

I sat up straight. "You!"

"Me!" He smiled a little more. "I'm supposed to be dead, and I should start acting the part instead of torturing you. I didn't mean to, I swear... I just thought I could do a few little last things, but that's not how it works, and you've been paying the price."

"So, there is a Kevin, right?" Oh please let there be.

"I took his image, to relax you, and explain this to you..." He paused a moment. "He did come over before, to give that book. He is a nice guy, but I'm not him. I'm going to go now and stop messing with your head, or your life."

"So, Equestria?"

He blinked. "Oh! You can have it. I don't really have dibs on that body or that life. Though, hey, enjoy it. I'd be a bit happier knowing there's another merry archer in my place, helping ponies open up."

"But is it a dream?!"

He shrugged. "From where I'm standing, everything is, but hey, I'm dead. Dead people are terrible perspectives for that kind of question. Equestria is just as real as this world, good or bad. Enjoy both lives and help others enjoy theirs. That's all anyone can really do."

I pointed to the phone with a shaking finger. "What about that phone call, and the email getting fired?"

He shook his head. "I shouldn't be here, and you were my host. The more things I did, the worse it became for you. I'm hurting your mind and, what, spirit? I shouldn't be here, and soon I won't be. Those were echoes of what could be and what you feared, but they weren't real. You are loved. It's a bit early to say, but I think you're a pretty great person too. That's why I'm going to get out of here and let you get on with life."

Was the nightmare really ending? I gave a choked half-laugh. The idea of it being over was exciting, but I was tired on a deep level. "Wait." He perked up. "I gave Celestia that kiss for you."

That smile. It was so bright I couldn't see a moment, then he was gone. "Live well," echoed his voice, his real voice. I knew that voice, since it was my voice when I was in Equestria. He had moved on to wherever dead people moved on to.

I felt something release inside of me, some terrible coiling that I hadn't known before. I passed out. It was a dreamless sleep. I slept like a statue, and perhaps I did just that. It amused me to think of myself somehow snoring inside a shell of stone, kept alive by whatever magic let me slip back and forth. It was the deepest sleep I'd ever experienced, and it was blessed.

I awoke to a gentle tapping. I opened my eyes to see darkness. I could feel the statue around me. I was in Equestria, and a pony. "Yes?" I asked. I had no idea how long I had been out, but I felt better.

"Are you alright?" came Twilight's voice. "I've been hesitant to attempt the depetrification spell after that last..."

"I'm alright." I squirmed in that prison before giving a powerful flex of my pony body, shattering the stone to bits around me. I was in a library of some sort in the middle of a circle of odd diagrams. Twilight was there but no others. "Everything's alright," I assured, and it felt that way. The uncertainty had fled from me with that sleep. "Good morning."

Twilight smiled. "Good morning. You look better than before." She glanced at my rump. "Oh! You've gotten your cutie mark!"

I turned to look back at my flank to see a picture of a bow across a larger pink heart. It was adorable. "Why is everything in this world so cute?"

Twilight blinked at that. "It is? Well, I'm glad to hear you're in better spirits." Her horn glowed as her magic swept the stone bits away. "I apologize for before. My spell clearly had a very negative reaction on whatever cycle you're in. I'll research a bett--"

"No." I shook my head at her. "Just leave it alone. I'll visit Equestria by night, and that's alright."

Twilight started a little. "Are you sure?"

I took a slow breath. "I'm more certain than I have been for a little while now." I stepped forward and planted a smooch on her forehead just beside her horn. "Thanks."

Twilight lit up red. "Y-you're welcome." She took a half-step back. "I should tell Celestia and Luna, they both wanted to know if you woke up." She half-turned away from me. "Before I do, I don't suppose you'd be willing to talk more about the human world?"

I smiled at the curious unicorn. "Go tell them. We'll get together later and chat about the wonders of humanity."

She gave a squeal of excitement. "That's a promise." And off she galloped.

I was alone. I sat on my haunches and looked over my sleek stallion lines. As ponies went, I was a looker. I was also a stallion again. So it was. I was 'born' a stallion, in this world, just as I was 'born' a woman on earth. Why fight it? But I wasn't here to woo ladies, oh no. True Shot had made a final request, and it was a kind one. He wanted me to bring light to others.

With a thought, my bow unslung from me and swung around to float before my eyes. I pulled at its string gently as if practicing drawing it. I couldn't make two people fall in love, that was not my power. I could make two people who had love admit it, and that was certainly power enough.

There was an issue. If I had slept long, it might be time for work, and I hadn't set my alarm or anything. I couldn't let my human life suffer for the sake of frolicking with the ponies, as adorable as they were. But how did I go to sleep?

The door opened to admit Celestia. She had a reserved face, clearly uncertain. "True Shot? Linda? I fear you have me at a loss, but I hope things are better now?"

I dipped my head at the princess. "They are, a lot. I need to check in on my other half, but I think everything's alright now." I hopped up to my hooves. "I'm just not sure how to do that."

"You need to sleep?" came the voice of Luna as she entered not long after. "I can help with that."

Right! "I forgot that in all this... I'm not running from either of you, promise. I will be back, but I have to take care of both ends."

Luna smiled at that. "So you have properly determined this is not a dream then?"

"Oh, it's all a dream." I waved a hoof at her. "Life is but a dream is a bit of philosophy smarter people than I made up long ago. I'm just in the unique situation of having two of those dreams, and both seem... lovely." I smiled, a real smile. "I can't abandon one for the other. Please, send me off and I'll be back, promise. And, to be clear, here I am True Shot, and that's not a bad thing to be."

Celestia quirked a little smile. "But are you truly?"

"He said so."

She started at that. "He did?"

Luna shook her head. "He is dead."

"He is, and he's back to playing the part, but..." How to explain... "It's alright. Everything is going to be alright."

Luna shook her head, clearly not convinced. "Get your sleep. It pleases us to know you are feeling better." Her horn glowed gently, and I felt lethargy building. Stone began to creep up along me from my hooves. I felt a childish impulse and stuck my tongue out at them and crossed my eyes. Hopefully I would freeze just that way.

I awoke on the floor in a disheveled mess. I scrambled up and grabbed for my phone to check the time. Shoot! I barely had enough wiggle room to cram down a snack pastry, get dressed, and emerge from my home in a hurry. I stopped suddenly and turned around to look at my house.

Yes, my house was 289. It always was. I laughed softly as I got to hustling to my car and getting off to a busy day of work, or would it be? With the holidays and the client signing off on the last line, it might very well be a week of mostly celebration. That wouldn't be bad either. Either way, it was my life, and I felt ready to live it.

Author's Note

The nightmare is over, and this feels like a good spot to break this chapter.

Now we can get to more peaceful exploration of Linda's life without the universe peeling apart at the edges along the way.

True Shot has passed on peacefully. Was he a good pony?

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9 - Office Party

Linda stepped off the elevator to have a party hat popped on her head.

"Linda's here!" came a voice that inspired a chorus of cheers.

That answered that. Work was not a very high priority that day. I gave a quirk of a smile and was ushered into a room with a bottle of cheap wine in a box, chips, dip, and happy faces all around. Kevin was there, smiling with the rest.

So was the boss, chatting it up. On seeing me he waved me over. "Linda, good to see you! That was a close one. I didn't want to worry the rest, but if you hadn't finished the last permit when you did, the client was getting fidgety. We were afraid for a moment there they'd back out on the last second." He swigged his cheap booze as his voice lowered. "We might be having a very different meeting otherwise. I'm glad you're on the team."

I felt a chill crawl along my spine, remembering the email that never was. A glimpse into a world that could have been? "You can count on me."

"I know I can." He smiled. "Now listen up, people, enjoy the party, but I want to see people back at their desks in the hour. Let's put the bow on this gift for the end of the year before we head home!"

There was a mix of cheer and grumble, but it was work, and we had to work. I shared pleasantries with the others, but moseyed over to Kevin specifically. "Hey."

Kevin smiled. "Hey! Hero of the year. How'd you like the book?"

"This weekend was a bit... crazy." It was the truth! "I'll give it the proper looking at this evening, promise. It looked adorable though, so thank you." What was with my life and throwing cute things at me?

Kevin clapped me on the shoulder. "No rush. It's not a gift if you're forced into it. Did you get a bonus like the rest of us?" He raised a brow. "A stupid question, I know. I bet yours is the biggest here."

I waved that off. "Let's not compare sizes."

He snorted at that. "I didn't know you'd make that kind of joke. You feeling alright?"

I blinked, thinking back on it. I was usually very proper on the job, so that joke was a bit out of my usual comfort zone, but what was 'comfortable' had changed a lot since the last week. "Sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"It's alright, promise." He put his hand over his heart. "It's actually kind of nice to see you open up a little."

Had I been a shut-in before? With the perspective of True Shot, that almost felt silly. But I wasn't True Shot, right?

"You alright? You look spaced out."

"Just thinking." I smiled at Kevin. "Say, there's this movie--"

"Are you asking me out?" He looked stunned at the idea.

"If you do--"

"Yes."

I let out a little breath. "Good, after work? Let's head over and see what's playing."

"I'd love that."

Did I really just ask Kevin out? I suppose I had. I did like him, and I think he liked me back. I was just... so focused on work, and avoiding being 'improper' there before. It wasn't like either of us reported to the other. He did marketing, for Christ's sake. The only regulations he had to worry about were obscenities in media.

Shit. When I was seated at my desk, I looked up a different policy. I pulled up the company's site and quickly browsed over to the HR section past our gateway and checked for workplace romance. There were rules about that.

No hooking up with supervisors, alright. That was basically universal. No hooking up with people of significantly higher or lower title, supervising or not. Alright, we were in the clear there. The usual cautions and recommendations, but nothing seemed to stand in the way. I relaxed a little, knowing I hadn't just broken a company rule in my daring action.

I got back to work, finalizing. It was the process of crossing the ts and dotting every i and checking them all over again. It wasn't hard, just tedious, but also the worst place to make a mistake, so I took my time to get it done right. I set the folder gently in my outbox and smiled. My work, at least, was complete. The company would reap the benefits of that lucrative deal, and I could enjoy my bonus, and a date.

Life was looking up.

At least until Twilight appeared on my monitor, smiling brightly. "Hello!"

I almost fell out of my chair in shock before glancing to the door of my office to make sure no one was there. "What the hell are you doing here?" The two dreams were supposed to be separated! Was I losing it again?

"You promised we could discuss humanity in further detail. It took quite a bit of doing, but your statue serves as a fine focus for finding you. Is now a bad time?" She looked so innocent, entirely unaware that her presence could even cause an issue. "I must confess, I didn't think you'd be so close to a scrying pool."

Scrying pool? "That's my monitor you're in." I reached out and tapped the glass lightly, which she didn't seem to feel, but she could see it. Poking her nose made her eyes cross a moment following it.

"Monitor? Please tell me more." A quill levitated into view with a heavy-looking scroll at the ready. "I have so many questions!"

"Look, this is my work, and there's an official policy against having guests in here."

She started. "Oh! I didn't mean to break any regulations! Here." She pulled out a button and... bonked it against the inside of the monitor to little effect. "I didn't think that through entirely. I hardly expected the pool to be solid on your end. We'll talk when you next wake up, alright?" I nodded quickly, then she faded away, leaving my computer alone.

I sank in my chair, took a slow breath, and got through the day without anymore invading ponies. Twilight was as cute as most, cuter in some ways, but I didn't need her in my office.

"Hey, all finished?" It was Kevin. "I checked what movies were rolling, wanna see that Hawaiian one? Looks cute."

I remembered seeing an advertisement or two about that one. "Sure, that does sound nice." I was on my feet, and we strolled out the door.

"Look who has a date," came a female voice. It was the office secretary. I knew her, but not terribly well. Cindy? Her voice was teasing, but her smile seemed sincere. "Have fun, you two."

We wished her a happy holidays, and were out. We both had a car, so we got into our separate vehicles and met back up at the theater. It had actually been quite some time since I last saw a movie outside my television, so I let him take the lead to get us inside. I didn't let him pay for my ticket though. We were peers, and I was a moderate feminist. That is, I thought everyone should be equal. He didn't have to buy me, and I wasn't buying him.

Enough social politics.

He got a big tub of popcorn and an equally large soda and soon we were seated in the dark. We shared the food and watched the movie. It was a cute movie, thumbs up there. The only problem was me. I felt like I should do... something, but every idea I had I waffled on instead. I knew Kevin fairly well, but I didn't want to come off as someone desperate, or easy.

In the lobby, he held out his hand towards me. Was he going to shake goodbye? That felt... formal... I reached for his hand though.

Then he grabbed mine and pulled it right up to kiss it with a little smooch.

My cheeks lit right up like a virgin and I laughed at his boldness. It wasn't fair, a guy who did that was brave and commanding. A woman who made that a habit was a cheap floozy. Society, right? Still, it was hardly the place to examine social justice. "If I didn't already know you."

Kevin chuckled softly. "Good thing you do. Not a bad movie, right?"

"No, very nice." My mind was ticking away rapidly, then it hit me. "Hey, Saturday, you have any plans?"

"Hmm?"

"New Years." I smiled. "Any plans?"

"Nothing specific," he admitted. "You?"

"I was thinking, if you wanted, maybe come over, watch the ball drop?"

He said yes, cementing my second date. Why had I been so shy before?

Social contact wasn't a terrible thing to be avoided at all costs.

I retreated to home, happy with the day, and life in general. I stopped to look in a mirror. "You were alive before, but you weren't living," I scolded my reflection. "Let's give living a chance, alright?" That reflection was not the woman I knew a week before. She looked more than content, but... "Nothing like a near-death experience to make you enjoy life."

Author's Note

Things are looking up for Linda, I think. Well, besides the living typo that is a curious Twilight Sparkle.

This can only complicate things...

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10 - Precise Aim

I felt the cool press of stone and knew I had slipped into the pony world. It had lost most of its edge at that point. I listened, but heard no clip-clopping or talking going on around me, so I went ahead and busted free.

I was True Shot once more. Taking a quick inventory, I made sure everything I had from before was still there.

"True?" It was Twilight. She approached the room from a balcony above. "There you are! I thought I heard you waking up. Do you prefer True? Celestia thought you might."

That was a good question. "While I'm here, I'm True Shot." I pointed the bow at her as if I were going to shoot her, but no arrow was notched. "But only while I'm here."

"That's quite alright." She dashed away, only to emerge through a door on the same floor. "I've been quite eager for your return." A scroll appeared beside her, unfurling a bit. "I have so many questions."

"You wrote them all down?"

"All of them." Her magic winked and the scroll was allowed to unfurl completely. It went on and on and on, unrolling all across the floor. "Are you ready to begin?"

Oh dear god! That was a bit much. "How about you get a few questions each visit?"

Twilight pouted a little, but a nod quickly came. "First, a personal question." She thrust a hoof at me. "You are clearly a female human. You said as much and I saw you in the human world. You have mammary glands, an obvious tell." She nodded to herself as if proud of her observation skills. "But you are a stallion here. Are you experiencing any disorientation or other mental trauma as a result?"

I blinked at her. I was expecting all sorts of questions about humanity, not myself. "Pardon?"

Twilight raised a hoof to her chest. "I've been on the other side, partially. I've been a human. It's confusing and a little scary. You've been through a lot and I just wanted to be sure you were alright."

Was she really just checking in on me? That was sweet. I smiled at her. "It was pretty rough, but I feel better now, promise." Even if I had a deep voice that was smooth as butter. "So is that really your first question?"

"Oh, well, yes?" Twilight tilted her head a little. "If you're sure--Second question! What was the nature of the scrying pool I was staring out of? It clearly was not water."

I shook my head a little. "It was a computer monitor, to see--"

"Oh! One of those!" she cried, a quill scribbling busily. "I've used one of those before. You simply must tell me how they work."

"Twilight." She focused on me. "I want to go out and enjoy my day."

She blinked at that. "Oh! Yes, alright, one more question then, when is the best time to contact you in the human world?"

Never would have been a lovely answer, but also rude, and likely to be ineffective... I considered quietly a moment as she almost bounced a little in place. "What day of the week is it today? And was I out for about half a day or not?"

Twilight nodded quickly. "A fair estimation. You did not appear to be operating at a slower or accelerated speed when we spoke, so I do think that isn't a problem. Things are not so synchronized when dealing with my friends in Equestria High. Why does the day of the week matter?"

"Because we have things called 'weekends'," I explained patiently. "I can't assume they are when yours are."

"Ah, logical. Spike!"

A dragon came rushing into the room. He was small, bipedal, and saluted Twilight. "What's up, Twi?"

She smiled at him. "Fetch the calendar, please?"

"On it!" He dashed off, just to come back in a hurry with a new scroll.

I was more curious about him that instant. "You're a dragon."

"Yes I am!" he said proudly, puffing out his chest. "I'm Spike, a dragon. And you are True Shot, right?"

I nodded in kind. "That's exactly right." The urge rose and I glanced between Spike and Twilight. I accepted the calendar even as my bow slid free. Neither suspected a thing before I was already drawing back an arrow. Twilight barely got out a gasp of alarm before she was struck. Spike was hit just moments later.

Why had I shot them? It just felt right and I was curious to know what their relation really was.

Spike smiled at Twilight a bit dreamily. "Have I ever told you how grateful I am to have you?"

Twilight leaned in and nuzzled him gently. "It was a little rough starting out, but you really are my number one assistant. Nopony ever could replace you."

"Do you mean it?" He hugged her tightly. "You're... like a big sister!"

Twilight's cheek colored brightly. "I... never... thought of it that way before, Spike. I..."

Spike kissed one of her cheeks. "Sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

Twilight shook her head quickly. "N-no! No! I'm glad... Spike you are a wonderful dragon and a dear friend and... I never thought of it before, but I suppose you are like a little brother. I've always focused on the big brother I have legally." She gave a little laugh.

They seemed absorbed in their conversation, and my question had been answered. I hoped I had helped them see through the blocks they had and trotted out of the room, only to feel something tugging at my tail.

I looked over my shoulder to see Spike had hurried after me. "Hey! So, uh... can you, uh, do that trick whenever you want?"

"The arrows?" I asked. "That's my talent." I gestured with my snout at my cutie mark.

"C-could you shoot me and a certain, uh, p--"

Twilight yanked Spike in the air with her magic. "Ah ha! Thank you, True Shot, but that will not be required. Spike, you'll have to do that on your own."

"Aw! Why?!" He fussed as Twilight trotted away with him, leaving me alone for the time.

I was free of meddling princesses!

"True?" It was Celestia, approaching down the hallway. She was hurrying just a little, which seemed to make her guards nervous. "You're back."

I smiled at her gently. "I am," I confessed easily. "Good to see you."

"And you as well." She leaned in and touched nose to nose. "Are things settled now?"

"They are." But they weren't, really. Celestia was a pony that loved me, or at least True shot, which I was only... partially? Sort of. I shook my head. It was its own world. I had accepted being True there. "Did you have something in mind?"

"I did." She turned back down the hallway. "If you would accompany me, I have some formalities to conclude. After that, I would like to walk with you."

I fell in with her, matching her even stride. Her composure had returned. "You've suffered terribly. Are you certain everything is alright?"

"I was... a child screaming from a nightmare, but that's passed, and I'm awake now." Awake by realizing both worlds were wonderful dreams that I wanted to enjoy. Earth, Equestria, both were worth living in.

Celestia cocked a brow. "You must be feeling better. You don't wax poetic on your off days."

She led the way to a door where the guards moved to flank it. One of them opened it for her. "Announcing Princess Celestia and her consort, True Shot."

Consort?! I was hardly an expert in such terminology, but didn't that mean a lot more than 'friend'? I rushed to catch up with Celestia as I had frozen in surprise a moment. I was about to ask her about it, but I saw there were other equines, zebras to be specific. They looked important and were decked in many golden and silver rings around their necks, in their ears and on their legs.

The female of the couple stepped forward and dipped her head. "Today you have surprised us well, Is this the consort you wish to tell? We thought this day would never come, who are you that has enchanted the sun?" She was looking at me towards the end of that.

Celestia extended a wing, blocking my view and the zebras' of me. "We'll speak more of him later. I'm afraid we should focus on the task at hoof for now."

The zebras both nodded as Celestia's wing lowered back down and they began discussing something deeply political about trading and... I understood it. It was familiar to me, the red tape chaser that I was in the human world. They were discussing routines, policies, and regulations to get something done without breaking any rules.

I raised a hoof. "Excuse me."

All three of them looked at me with surprise. "Sorry, it's just that I think I might help?"

Celestia shook her head. "It is good of you to want to participate, but--"

The male zebra raised a hoof in kind. "We would like to hear his thoughts, a new set of eyes to undo the knots."

Celestia quieted. I was on the spot, but I had asked to be, so I stood tall and began to work through the problem as I saw it. It seemed more of a logistics issue than a regulatory one, and one that could be solved with a careful application of both.

The female nodded. "That is a fine notion. I move that we put it to motion."

Celestia softly cleared her throat. "Very well put. Yes, if you both agree, we'll have this matter properly written up. You know where to find my secretary?" They both nodded and trotted from the room with pleased expressions.

The sun princess turned towards me as soon as they were gone. "True Shot did not have a head for this sort of thing, but then... you're not him, are you?"

"I am me," I replied honestly. "I have accepted being True Shot, but I am me."

Celestia gave a faint smile. "Somepony new, somepony familiar... I must apologize for how you were introduced. Zebrica tradition would have you waiting outside if you were much anything else."

But... "Is that what you want?"

Celestia colored ever so faintly before it vanished under a wave of centuries of self-control. "We need to... speak more. I was hoping today would be the day for it, if you will oblige me?"

I wanted to see the whole world, but I also wanted to get things straight with Celestia. In the end, I followed alongside her as we walked towards the exit of the castle. We had things to discuss.

Author's Note

We resume!

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11 - Heart to Heart

As I followed along Celestia, I felt her magic nudge at my bow. "You must be more careful with that."

She knew? "How did--"

"You just confessed." She smiled gently. "I trust there was no harm in it?"

"No! No, just two friends reminded of how important they are to each other," I assured as I caught up from my stunned delay.

"You are like Cadance, were she male, and less restricted." She smiled over her shoulder. "It's dangerous, but in an exciting way. You know you could cause a great deal of drama with that gift of yours, if you are not very careful. You don't want that, I trust?"

"I don't plan on being a somewhat hilarious super-villain," I assured as I trotted beside her. "You sound very relaxed for how you're giving big warnings. Are you worried or not?"

"No." She paused and turned to me. "I feel no darkness in your heart. If you do cause trouble, it will be in error, not malice." She leaned a little closer. "I'm not worried about that, in the long run. You'll learn how to properly wield your tools. The question that..." She glanced to the left where a guard stood quietly. "Let us retire."

Retire? "Where did you have in mind?" She had an intense aura around her. She was powerful and wise. It was like I was a child before a goddess. The way she moved and the way she spoke... every motion hinted that I was in the presence of someone worthy of a little awe.

A little part reminded me that she was also a mare, and finely shaped at that. That confused me a little. I mean, alright, I was a horse too, but that didn't mean I was quite 'there' yet. I didn't 'identify' as a male horse yet, so having my... body? My spirit? Whatever it was, it was gently nudging me in the metaphorical sides and pointing at her while making wolf whistles. I 'knew' she was pretty, and yet, she was a horse. I was confused, but drawn. I followed along with her.

"Celestia?" She looked towards me as she walked. "You're the queen, right?"

She shook her head. "Princess. A Queen professes to have nothing above her. I am not that proud. My ponies control themselves. Every town and city has its own leadership decided by the people, be it a mayor or otherwise. While I do set the most basic laws that persist all through Equestria, I do not control them directly, and I'm quite alright with that." She looked back at me, her gaze sharpening. "Does that bother you?"

I felt my cheeks suddenly burn hot. "N-no! No! Nothing wrong with that. I was just learning." She was a literal pretty magical pony princess. She also wanted me? I wasn't completely sure of that, but she had been fairly straightforward about it. Her and her sister... "How did you--"

She held up a hoof as her horn glowed and opened a door large enough for her frame easily. "Let us make ourselves comfortable." Inside was a dining hall. There was food spread out, but it was clearly meant for fewer ponies than the first I had seen. There were only two wide chairs, across from one another, and Celestia settled in the far one. "Just the two of us."

I felt like I was being carried along, and I didn't like it. It was my dream and my life! It was time to act. I willed the door shut gently, and it closed. Then I imagined the chair lifting up into the air and floated it towards the bemused Celestia. I set it down just around the corner from her and strode towards it purposefully. "There's no reason for us to be strangers."

"I should think not," she agreed as she plucked two small cups from the table and began filling them with hot liquid. Tea? "I am aware of your... difficulties. You are not True Shot."

"Yes I am," I argued. "I have accepted that."

She smiled a little. "Have you truly? Prove it."

How would I do that? I looked her over even as she lifted her cup to her lips and took a soft sip, waiting for me to act.

So I did. I leaned in and gently kissed her long neck. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."

The cup fell, spilling tea across the table though it didn't shatter. Her cheeks went a rosy hue as she quickly got to cleaning up the mess she made and righting the cup. "True Shot?" Her voice sounded so hopeful, and yet so doubting. "What about... your human life? Did you not... Are you not?" She started to frown.

"That is then, this is now." I smiled at her. Somehow, her being off-guard made me feel more confident. "Celestia, I am True Shot. True, I may not remember everything I should, but that is me." I settled into that chair and found it was quite comfortable. "I may be your True Shot even. Let's explore that."

Celestia shook her head slowly. "You are a puzzle..." she trailed off. "One I find myself eager to solve." She pointed at the table, cleaned with her magic. "What would you like to try?"

I turned my head to look at the selection and spotted that delicious nutty-buttery thing I had tried before. I reached with my magic, willing it to come closer, and it did.

Celestia hissed. "How can you have so many of his mannerisms?"

"Hmm?"

Celestia pointed at the stuffed pepper in my grip. "Those were his absolute favorites."

I blinked at it. "I had good taste." I chomped into it and gave a little shiver. Ponies knew how to cook! Or, at least, those working for Celestia did. "Have you tried them? They're amazing!"

Celestia glanced left and right before she opened her graceful snout and I felt heat burning in me at the sight. Why was that so stimulating? Regardless, I floated the pepper over to her and watched her teeth slowly sink into it. "Mmm, quite nice, True. Try this." She grasped the pepper in her own magic and set it down, then plucked up something that looked kind of like chocolate with sparkles cooked into it.

It smelled fine, so I bit.

Ugh.

I spat it out in short order. "It's too sour! I'm sorry, Celestia. I'm not trying to be rude."

She quirked a smile. "Your tastes are entirely unchanged...

I had passed another test? "Well, one thing." We could dance around the subject for months, or I could get right to the point. "You never told me that you had feelings for me, then I died. Well, I'm back, and I didn't forget what I was told."

Celestia suddenly stood up. "We should talk again, later."

"W-what?" She was already walking away. "Celestia!" She opened the door smoothly and trotted through it, taking a sharp right even as I scrambled to my hooves.

I was still getting used to them, and being in a hurry didn't help as I half-tripped getting out of the chair. By the time I got over to the hallway, she was long gone.

There were two guards posted outside the door and one of them prodded me with a hoof.

Agitated, I wheeled on him, but I saw he looked concerned and it defused me nicely. "What's wrong?"

"Sir... I don't see the princess rattled very often. Whatever you did, please don't do it again."

The other guard nodded in agreement.

That was actually kind of sweet. They cared about their princess, like good guards should. I smiled gently. "I'll do my best, promise. I don't want her hurt either."

They nodded before they returned to pony statues. Not as good as I did whenever I went to sleep, but a passable imitation.

I left them alone and got to trotting for the entrance of the castle. If Celestia was done for the day, I still had a city to explore and enjoy!

"True." It was Luna. She walked out from a side passage and joined me. "Might we walk with you?"

I had no reason to refuse her, so I didn't. "What's up, Luna?"

"So casual." She smiled a little. "You scared my poor sister badly. What did you say to her?"

"I tried to deal with what's between us directly." She raised a brow. "That's it, really. I just brought it up and she walked out."

"Did she?" Luna gave a soft snort. "You haven't lost your touch, True Shot, or whoever you are under that pelt. I have not forgotten the trauma you so recently suffered. I know the truth of it, in part. Are we simply a dream to you?"

"Yes," I replied simply. "But so is the other side. Two wonderful dreams that I am blessed with."

Luna blinked softly, but kept up. "A very curious attitude to have. Are you then convinced yours is the only mind?"

"Hmm?" I frowned in thought. "I didn't even think of that. Do we ever really know that? Regardless, whether you are a 'mind' of your own or just my own playing back at me, I can't know, and I choose to assume you're worth treating as a person." I circled around in front of her with a quick trot. "You are Luna."

She stopped and stared at me for a pregnant moment. "I am..." A smile touched her lips. "That is, perhaps, a mature stance, or perhaps a dangerous one. So long as you have respect and peace in your heart and wish well on your fellows, then I suppose your philosophy is of little direct harm." She raised a brow then. "I do have one other concern among many... You're not sleeping. When you become a statue, you are simply gone. I cannot find your presence. No pony can live without any sleep at all, and you live constantly without rest."

I considered that even as I turned away from her. "Sort of true, and sort of not. I think that's biological."

"Biological?"

"My body, in the other dream, is sleeping soundly. In fact, when it's bothered, I'm pulled right over instantly." I began descending the stairs towards the city. "I'm getting my physical sleep. The rules of this are a bit odd, but it seems straight forward. I don't feel tired, not anymore. Not since we got this straightened out. I'm True Shot, and I have a pony world to explore!"

Luna caught up with me easily. "Are you certain then?" I nodded. "Then allow me to be your guide. I will keep you safe, when you become stone."

I blinked at that. "Won't that make Cel--" I suddenly sat up in bed.

Author's Note

The dream continues! The original hirer for this has given me leave to continue as I see fit, so here I am, dispensing whimsical typos.

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12 - Eyes Wide Shut

I jerked awake to the droning noise of my alarm. Ugh, Monday... I threw off the covers and sprang to my feet. It was an odd thing. Since I wasn't really 'asleep', I didn't feel nearly as tired waking up. Sure, I had to remember I had naked human feet instead of clip-clop horse hooves, but other than that, I was moving around like I had been up already.

Which I was? Technically?

I frowned at the thought a little. Was this all good for me? Maybe I should check to be sure, or so I thought to myself. I had a simple breakfast and was out to my car in no time at all. While I was driving to work, I broke a law and checked my email on my phone on the way. There was my bonus, fat as promised.

There was also a few news snippets. My company had done well for it--

I slammed the breaks as someone cut ahead of me. I let out a slow breath, heart racing from the near collision. "You have to watch where you're going," I chastised myself before resuming my journey. I kept my eyes on the road and soon arrived at work without killing myself.

I settled at my desk and reached for my inbox that had a few papers in it just in time for my monitor to power itself on.

"Is this a bad time?" asked a familiar voice. Twilight was there, smiling at me. "I don't mean to intrude, but we never finished our conversation on when was a good time."

Another voice came from the door to my office, "Are you playing games?" It opened to reveal Kevin with a big grin. "I didn't think you were a pegasister."

Pegawhatnow? In a panic, I slapped the off button on the monitor, and Twilight faded away with a disappointing pout. "Hello, Kevin."

"Hey Linda. Don't hide it on my account." He put a hand on his chest. "I watch it all the time with my niece."

Watch what? "What are you talking about?"

"Hey, look, if you're shy about it, forget I said anything." He waved it off as he came closer. "No reason for an adult to be shy about watching cartoons. Some of them are worth it, and some of the 'adult' shows are bullshit anyway."

I shook my head a little. "Look, you're confusing me. What show?"

He reached right past me and pressed the button to the monitor. Twilight wasn't there. It was just my desktop. He seemed disappointed about it. "I heard it, Twilight Sparkle?"

He knew that name?!

He also saw my surprise. "Ah ha! I knew it. Seriously, don't be so worked up about it. It's cool. Were you watching an episode or do you have some kinda sound package going?"

"Back up a step." I held up my palms at him. "Start from the start. What show?"

"My Little Pony?"

"And that's involved how?"

"You're being serious?" He sounded confused at my, well, confusion. "Alright, so, purple horse, loves studying things, horns, wings if you're past season 3."

He was describing Twilight pretty well. "She has a dragon friend?" I venture.

"See! What, you never saw the title? What were you doing, pirating it all?"

Oh god. My other life was a television show?! What did that mean?! I would figure it was my mind playing tricks, if I had seen the show myself, but I hadn't.

He seemed to notice my discomfort. "What's wrong, Linda? I'm not here to get on your case, promise."

Wait, perhaps I could turn this around to my advantage. "Say, Kevin?"

"Yeah?"

"Mind if I pick your brain about the show, later, after work?"

"Heh, that sounds like the Linda I know. I'll let you get back to work, but sure, after. We'll compare notes on brightly colored horses if you want." He gave an off-salute and was soon back in the hallway, leaving me to my solitude.

I closed the door just to be safe.

"Is it clear?" asked Twilight, who was again on my screen, tilting her head at me when her eyes weren't darting around curiously. "Did I hear correctly? He knows about me? How?"

Oh joy, I had them on both sides. I settled back at my desk. "Twilight, I do have work to do." I grabbed my inbox papers quite pointedly and shuffled them.

"May I assist?"

I arched a brow. "I doubt you know the legalities of this world nearly as well as those of your own. This requires my specific attention."

One of the papers wrenched itself from my grip and plastered itself against the monitor. "This one isn't about legalities at all. It seems there's a new branch opening and your manager is interested in having you there. Moving expenses are included with acceptance as well as assistance in finding a new house. Do you know a place called 'California'? I thin--"

I peeled the paper off the monitor. "I can read it myself, Twilight. Thank you." My cheeks had gone red with a mix of what news she had just spilled for me and the fact that I was having this conversation with Twilight in my office! "I have to think about that, but that can wait until later."

I got to reading the other papers, which were little things I could handle swiftly, and did. Twilight, however, didn't go away. Sure she tucked herself into the corner of the screen, but her eyes were focused on the words I was producing and reading. She was my copilot as I read and replied to emails and browsed the web to fact check things. She seemed fascinated, and it was almost adorable having her there. So long as she was quiet, it wasn't all that bad.

At least until there was a rapping on the office door and I jumped in surprise. "Who is it?"

"Me," replied my boss before he pushed open the door without waiting any longer. "Did you get the memo about the new branch? This is a big opportunity for us all. If we can hit the ground running, we can get a foot in on Silicon Valley. This will make or break things, and with you there, I know it'll go the right way."

I glanced worriedly to see Twilight watching and listening, but thankfully not talking. "This is a big decision. Is there a deadline? Actually, why couldn't I e-commute for most of it?"

He put a hand on my shoulder. He always did that when he wanted to be super serious. "We need faces, not just telepresences. How we present ourselves is going to be important and I want you there on the ground floor."

I knew that tone of voice. I could say no, but he would talk me into it. I was doomed. I could see myself falling under the urging and I wouldn't say no.

But I wasn't the same lady he hired. I smiled at him. "Well, I could do it, but this is going to throw a lot of things off..."

"We can take care of it."

"I'm hoping you can." I stood up from my wheeled chair. "Let's start with housing. You mention assistance, but this isn't an easy area. Get me a house, before I show up, and I want it to be mine."

He paled. That was no small sum of money I had just effectively asked for. Good. Either he'd change his mind, or I'd get a house out of it. Either way sounded like a win to me. "Let me check the numbers..."

He retreated as I smiled at his back. Oh wow that felt good! I never threw my boss off his balance so well before! "Thanks True Shot," I whispered to myself as I sat down.

"I don't see True Shot here, besides you," commented Twilight, her ears perking. "I thought you had accepted being True Shot?"

"It's complicated." I waved her off a little. "True Shot is who I am in your world. Here I'm Linda. Still, both are me, and there's no stopping both from being part of the other. Since this started, I've felt more confident and daring. It's harder keeping things a secret when I could just say something. That's True Shot."

Twilight nodded at me a little. "Very interesting. We have to discuss this later. Luna will want to hear about this." She stood up on my screen. "I should talk to her--"

"Wait!" She did. "Don't go kissing and telling, Twilight. Just because I tell you something doesn't mean I'm alright with you telling the world."

Twilight settled back down. "Do you mind?"

I considered that a moment. Sure I was tempted to just say 'yes!' but as I pondered it, I realized there wasn't much I said that I wouldn't tell Luna just the same. "I... suppose not, but ask first. Private conversations are just that, private."

"I've learned my lesson about secrets," she said as if it were a very solemn thing. "If you tell me not to say something, I won't unless it hurts you or somepony else." She hiked a brow. "I should let you get back to work, and I'll talk to Luna. Be well, Linda."

"Take it easy, Twilight." I wiggled a few fingers at her even as she faded away, leaving me to continue my day's labors.

Author's Note

Kevin is a brony! Sound the alarms!

This must be a typo...

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13 - A Date!

I was dressed up nicely, had a subtle scent in, and I heard him knocking. I bounced towards the door and pulled it open to see... Kevin, looking miserable. "Kevin?"

He nodded a little. "Sorry. I was trying to not be a wet blanket on this, but I really can't get the smile going right now."

This wasn't like him at all. He was always so peppy and energetic. Did someone die? "What happened?"

"Work stuff." He tried to wave it off. "Look, I just didn't want to leave you hanging, waiting on me. I'll get over it, eventually. Just not tonight, right?"

I was not accepting that! "Look, sit down." I guided him towards a chair, thinking about how he had comforted me when everything was falling apart. Sure, he had actually been True Shot, still, the reflection felt strong. "Sit down and relax. I'm not hurrying you. Want a drink?"

He let out a weak little chuckle. "Something strong, if you don't mind." He wriggled, getting comfortable.

I fetched a bottle of something mid-range. I didn't want him sloshed. I poured out two glasses and gave him one. "When you're feeling ready, spit out what's wrong."

He eyed me a moment before he took a pull. "You look nice. Shit, here I am making you get all dressed up, just to leave you hanging."

"You can start making up for it by telling me why." I crouched down to be on his level as he sat. "I won't laugh, promise."

He chuckled at that before he took another sip. "Yeah, sure, alright. You hear about the new branch?" I nodded. "Boss wants me there, no excuses. Boom, cross the country with nothing but orders to find a place. What do I do? I mean, I could just quit, sure." He heaved a sigh that implied he didn't think quitting was a very good idea. "Look, I know... we're only recently starting to talk, but that's part of it. I... God this will sound stupid." He drained half his glass before going silent a moment. "Look. I talk a big game, but that doesn't mean I live up to it a lot."

That made a bit more sense, still... "So you'll get a lousy apartment for a while, right? California's not that bad, is it?"

He arched a brow up at me, eyeing me like I just declared cheese was a fine building material. "I don't know anyone out there. I don't know how to apartment hunt." He stood up suddenly, making me almost tip with surprise, but I was soon standing with him. "Alright, confession time. I still live at the family house, alright? I'm another big fat loser at the older end of millennial."

I couldn't help but glance around my own house. Did it burn him to see me handling my affairs well enough to have all that? "They asked me to move over too, you know."

He perked up, some hope igniting in his eyes. "You'll be there too?" He was smiling a little. "Maybe, I dunno..." He started to sink again.

"It's not a hundred percent yet," I warn, holding up a hand. "I played every card I had, and it'll get me settled nicely, or I stay here. One or the other."

He snorted faintly before he took another sip. "You have that kind of pull. He knows if it wasn't you busting your ass for him, the last deal would have been for nothing. I mean, hell, I hear the client was just about ready to back right out when the final pieces fell into place." He put the glass aside. "I don't have that."

I wanted to argue that, but it was kinda true. He wasn't bad at his job, but he wasn't pivotal either, and yet... "So why did he insist you move over?"

"Huh?"

I rolled a hand at him as I brought up the glass with the other, sipping. "If the boss thinks you're worthless, why would he bother moving you? He obviously thinks you're important to the new branch."

He went quiet a moment before he nodded. "Well, heck, you're right." He smiled a little. "There's no reason to pay the moving expenses for the janitor when he could just hire another one there."

I slapped him on the shoulder lightly. "You're no janitor. Stop playing yourself down." I moved towards the kitchen. "I want to help..."

"But?" He trailed after me like a lost dog.

"But it's not sure yet."

"What'd you ask?" He moved to my side. "Was it that big?"

"Bigger." I stopped and faced him. "I asked for a house."

He would have spit up his drink if he was still nursing it. "Holy shit! You don't play for halfs."

I gestured around. "Hey, it took me a while to get this one, and I don't plan to downgrade to an apartment, alright? The way I see it, condos aren't much better. I either stick with this one, or I get a new one, and that's that."

He gave a little chuckle at that. "Right... right, so... Hey, if you do get that house..."

Was he trying to ask what I thought he was trying to ask? It was kind of charming to see him struggle to say what was on his mind when it seemed so obvious where he was going, but did I want what he was offering. He was a nice person, sure... But...

Somehow, he could see me thinking about the question he hadn't asked and clammed up a moment before he fought through the block. "Linda. Can I be your roommate? I mean, if it works out. We don't have to be... more than that. Just colleagues sharing space."

"Colleagues that were just about to go on a date," I reminded him with a bit of a smile. My hand swayed past a counter and left the half-filled glass where it touched. "I'm not a teenager anymore. I know how this is going to work. Either A: We work out and become an item, or B: Things get awkward really fast as we try and fail and end up stuck together trying clumsily to respect each other's space." Even as he began to frump, I tapped him on the shoulder. "Look, it's not settled yet. Let's not make plans that may not pan out at all."

"Yeah..." He straightened his jacket lightly. "Look, sorry. You were expecting a fun night and here I am stomping all over that. I think I just needed to talk a little. Are you still up for getting something to eat?"

That sounded lovely, and I said as much. "I recall you promised to share notes about brightly colored horses."

That got a laugh out of him, genuine sounding. "I swear, you already know it. I'm just going to give you a refresher." He grabbed my coat off the hook and offered it to me. "I know a good place. Want to both take a car?"

That was a measure of trust. But I was feeling confident. "Let's take mine, I drank less." Half a cup should have put me well within limits, even if there was no 'safe' limit according to most cautionary tales. "And I don't plan on more."

"Hey, me neither. I just needed to take the edge off that moment." He fell in with me and soon we were on our way to get something to nibble on.

It was much later that I arrived home with him. Our bellies were filled, and I knew a little more about the pony world, even if I couldn't ask all the questions I wanted to without sounding odd about it. The food wasn't bad either, even if it struggled to compete with royal pony options.

"So, uh," he started. "Why the sudden interest?"

"Funny thing." I smiled at him. "It just, you know, 'clicked'."

"You'd be surprised how many bronies are in that camp." He glanced at his car in the dim light. "Well, I should be going. We both have work tomorrow. Thank you, for everything. You really helped keep my head on straight."

"And brony is?"

He blinked at me. "We went the whole night without explaining that?" He laughed a little at himself. "So, yeah, that show was not aimed at adults like you or me. Some people online started calling themselves bronies, and it stuck. So that became the generic term for 'older than the target audience fan of My Little Pony.' There've been a few movements to make a more unisex term, but nothing's stuck as well as brony. Technically, you are one, woman or not."

Brony... Maybe in my dreams. "Thanks for the nice time." I reached for his hand. He twitched ever so subtly. I was sure I would have missed it normally, and I blamed it on True Shot, but I could read him like a book. He was sad I had gone for a shake instead of a hug or a kiss. Well, there was a surprise coming. I took firm hold of that hand and kissed the back of it in a reverse gender role parting. "Until next we meet."

He colored. Was it surprise, excitement, or maybe confusion? I couldn't exactly peg it, but it affected him. "Y-yeah! Take it easy. I'll see you tomorrow." He walked off to his own car and I retreated into the warmth of my home. I had a dream to enjoy, and some ponies to talk to.

Author's Note

Linda is feeling in control of her lives. What could go wrong?! Besides offering to become roomies too quickly. That would be a typo, right?

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15 - Spotlight

With the attention focused squarely on me, I rose up to my hooves. I felt like they wanted me to say something, so I did, "People of Equestria, it's a great pleasure to be back among you all. Please give me some time to regain my bearings."

Regain, that was a bit of a white lie. Still, they seemed to buy it, with clopping hooves and soft stomps on the floor of what seemed to be of approval.

The stallion seated beside me leaned over. "Is it true you once shot three dragons in the heart without reloading?"

Gah, I certainly hoped not, unless... "I simply let them see the tie that brought them together."

The stallion made an appreciative, if somewhat puzzled, noise, but his attention slid back down to the front.

I wasn't bothered until recess was called. I stood up again to make my retreat to find a trio of mares smiling at me just a touch too widely. They were also dressed just that touch too fancy. They smelled a bit too strongly of perfume. Yes, just about everything about them was just one step too far.

"Sir Shot," one of them called, beckoning me closer with a subtle hoof gesture. "Have you but a moment?"

I was spared from having to make an excuse by waking up.

I glanced over to the clock and saw I had woken up a few minutes early. But it was only a few minutes, so there was no point in trying to go back to sleep. I slid from bed and got to greeting the day. Bathed, dressed, ate, not always in that order.

Celestia was pushed out of my head for the moment. I was awake, and that had its own problems to worry about. Would my boss have an answer for my outrageous request? Would it be yes? Would I help Kevin along the way? Would that be smart?

I hadn't even noticed when I'd gotten into my car, and that bothered me. I cast aside worries of the future and focused on the immediate to drive safely to work.

I pulled into a spot close to the building. Lucky! I slid out and trot--walked briskly to the entrance. The air had just a little nip to it, nothing to really complain about, but enough to hasten me along inside to the warmth within.

The secretary gave me the subtlest odd look as I went by. Had the boss mentioned my request? I couldn't know, and it wouldn't have been right to ask, so I didn't and strode past her to my office. I settled down and conjured my email to start the day of sifting and doing when I noticed one lonely folder in my physical inbox.

I flipped it right open and saw it was a new project. I let out a little breath. Sure, most people would grump a little at new work, but being given a new task meant things were getting back to a sort of normal. I had work to do, and got right to it. Look up this permit, fill in that form, and look up who can get it filed with the greatest speed. The process had become, in part, standard for me, but that was due to practice. I wouldn't wish the job on anyone untrained.

A soft knocking came from the door an instant before it swung open, revealing the boss looking quite severe.

I tensed at the sight. I had a feeling this would be an announcement, one way or the other. "How can I help?" I swiveled my chair towards him, giving him my full attention.

He kicked the door shut easily as he walked up to my desk. "So, I hear you and Kevin are getting along."

I thought I was tense before. I was wrong. I was as still as the statue I was some of the time. "What brings that up?"

"As it turns, that might be the answer to two questions." He put his hands on the desk, looking into my eyes. "He's scared shitless trying to brave the real estate market out there without a support network, and what do we have? Someone who's getting a house who's already his friend." He straightened out. "Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting you two become related. In fact, I'd suggest against it, that gets awkward, but once you see what I found for you, I know you'll agree you'll have the room for him easily."

On the positive, he had just said I got my demand, and from the sound of it, it was a nice place. That was... good, really good in fact. On some level I felt like complaining would be almost insulting in the face of such a payout. "Can I see?" That seemed safe enough. I wanted to see what sort of place I was getting to make sure he wasn't playing it up.

He waved to the computer. "Check your mail, should just be showing up."

Well, alright then... I swiveled back to the monitor and pulled up the email fast. There was an unread mail from the HR department and I opened it up. There was an intense amount of legalese explaining how the purchase of the house would be considered income on my part, taxes, etc. etc. But then, there it was. The house looked...

"Lovely." Four bedrooms, two baths. One floor, but plenty of space. The garage had been modified to more interior space, but parking on the street wouldn't kill me. It looked quite nice. The only catch remained, did I want to share it with Kevin?

I swiveled back away from the screen to see the boss with a big grin, waiting for me to agree. I held up a hand. "I'm going to need to take care of the house I have right now, arrange for moving my things--"

"So, yes?"

I let out a slow sigh. "If it doesn't work out, what do we do then? I don't want to kick a friend out onto the roadside with nothing, not even in a state he has family in."

He slapped me lightly on the shoulder. He did that with everyone. "So keep it clean and professional. You two get along fine in the office, keep it there and there shouldn't be issues. He'll be paying rent, mind you. We might have negotiated that for you." He pulled a folded bit of paper out of his pocket. "This'll help pad your pockets and help pay the considerable taxes you have coming next year."

I accepted the paper and glanced at it. The price was high, but that was for here, not California. I had to look up what the going rates were there. I assumed it was reasonable though. Well... "If he pays his part, we can keep that nice and simple."

"I knew I could count on you! When will you be ready? We have a new lawyer handling the paperwork on that and he estimates about a month until it's ready for you to move in and all the forms are properly signed. You'll get the papers as needed, of course."

A month? "That should be long enough to get things in order. Did you already tell Kevin?"

"Just about to. Thanks for being you." He turned and walked out like he owned the place, which he did.

I let that tension escape with a heavy gust of air.

"What happened?" asked Twilight.

I looked up to see her peeking at me just above the task-bar.

"Is everything alright?" She rose up into proper view. "That's your employer, correct?"

"Correct," I agreed with a little smile. "How long were you listening?"

"I came just as you started looking at that house. What interesting architecture! It looks very nice. He's buying it for you?"

I returned to the current project. Just because I was going to be moving didn't mean I was off of work. Twilight kept glancing at the words I created, but her eyes were largely on me. "This must be a big day for you. You look frazzled."

"Is it that bad?" I pulled a mirror out of my desk and took a moment to straighten things out. "More unexpected than anything else. I'll be moving with a co-worker of mine that will become my tenant. It could get awkward, or it could become a wonderful thing, depending on how it swings."

Twilight nodded a little. "I had to move for work before. Princess Celestia kicked me right out of my nice, safe, library and sent me to the middle of nowhere. Some little town called 'Ponyville'." Twilight was smiling as she said it. "I thought it was the worst thing ever. I was so angry and confused and a little lost. All the ponies were new and a little terrifying..."

Hearing of the colorful pony's trials made me smile a little. "What'd you do about it?" I asked as I worked busily.

"Well... at first--"

Spike suddenly butted in on the screen. "She was a big baby and threw some amazing tantrums."

"Spike!" Twilight colored. "I may have been a little out of my element, but I did come around, and I met some of my best friends there. You really have to meet them eventually. In fact, I had meant to ask if you would be opposed to coming with me. I know Princess Celestia just announced you to Equestria, and that's going to get you in the limelight for a while." She leaned closer. "You can escape in Ponyville, in my castle. It doesn't even have guards. Nice, quiet, and out of the way. It's right next to Ponyville, so you can meet some new ponies, it just won't be the huge press that Canterlot is."

That actually sounded like a pleasant enough idea, but... "What would Celestia and Luna think?"

Twilight clopped her hooves eagerly. "I already talked to both of them. They both agreed to it."

I wondered a moment if Celestia was trying to avoid me. Still, maybe just a little time to digest it would do her some good. "Alright. Let's see Ponyville."

Twilight hopped up to her hooves. "Excellent! I'll have your statue brought to the train and you'll wake up at the new castle without having to wait on the train. I'll be extra careful, don't worry."

That brought up a question. "Twilight?"

"Hmm?"

"What would happen if something damaged my statue while I was away?"

"Well..." She looked shifty. "I couldn't say with absolute certainty, but I'm loathe to experiment and find out, considering the possible ramifications."

Spike, who was still sharing the screen, rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just have him hold something silly next time and break it off?"

Twilight blinked. "That's a great idea! If you hold something delicate and easy to remove without harm, that should suffice." She looked back at me from when she had been looking at Spike. "With your permission, of course, Linda." She lightly tapped Spike on the head. "And 'he' is a 'she' right now."

Spike stuck out his tongue. "I'm going to stick with True Shot. Not like we get to really hang out with his other half here." He gestured out at me. "Ponyville has some interesting places to see!" he suddenly exclaimed. "I'll show 'em to ya when you get here." He bounced off the field of the screen.

Twilight shook her head a little at him before returning her gaze to me. "I'll get out of your mane. See you when you wake up." She faded away gently, leaving me to the glories of my blank desktop and the email I was still typing away despite the conversation I was having with a brightly colored equine.

Author's Note

You know, I avoid Ponyville in a lot of my stories, but we're going home!

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16 - Lunch

A knock made me look towards the door just as Kevin opened it a crack. "I'm about to go get something to eat, wanna come with?"

I didn't normally do a lot of lunches with company, but we did have things to discuss, and I bet he knew it. "Alright." I logged out of the computer and rose smoothly. "You suggested the last place, this time's on me."

He didn't argue, and soon we were walking out of the building. Almost the instant we were outside, he relaxed a little. "They did it... You did it! Did you ask for this? You're the absolute best!" He had turned to face me and his expression was one of immense relief. "I'll be a good roomie, promise! God damn! A house in the Silicon Valley? That couldn't have been cheap."

I had seen the numbers. Nothing like a seven figure bonus... "It wasn't," I agreed. "I'll be sure to earn every penny."

He laughed at that. "Anyone else, I'd think they were talking big, but I know you. You'll get the branch up and keep it running smooth in no time at all. Jesus... It's hard to even take in." He was rubbing behind his head as he walked alongside me towards my car. "You do know, there's no way the boss plans on you hiding behind a desk."

"What?"

He rolled a hand at me. "He wouldn't move you out there to fill out the same forms you could fill out here just as easily. He wants a face, and he obviously thinks yours is worth buying a house for. You're going to be rubbing elbows with people, directly, or he's a total idiot, and I don't think he is."

That made too much sense. There wasn't a single legal hoop I couldn't jump right where I was that would suddenly get easier by me being in California. The, uh, old me, would have been scared, at least a little, but I felt a heat in my chest. It was a challenge, and one I felt almost eager to meet. I wanted to see who he wanted me to work with. Someone important? One would think so. "This means we must have a dramatically important client lined up."

"Apple?" asks Kevin as he held my own door open for me in a silly display of deference. "Google?"

"Could be Adobe, AMD?" I sank into my chair and waited for him to get in before resuming. "Maybe even Lockheed? We can't say, but if he's willing to uproot this office for that one, it has to be big." I slipped in my key and got the car moving smoothly. "No point trying to guess now. I'm sure we'll be told when we get there, or soon after. It may be buried under a pile of non-disclosure agreements."

We rode in companionable silence until we arrived at the sandwich shop I preferred. It was close to work and not too pricey. I could afford a little pricey, but I'd never gotten into the habit of wasting money.

After ordering and finding a seat, Kevin looked across the table at me. "Change of subject, if you don't mind?"

I didn't. "Go on." Not like I wanted to do heavy business talk over lunch, really.

He nodded. "So... who's best pony?"

I almost coughed up my food as I burst into laughter. "Seriously?"

"Everyone has their pick." He smiled as he took a bite out of his own food. "Go on."

Well, I had only met a few of them... "I like Celestia's motherly attitude toward all the other ponies. I like the way Twilight geeks out about almost everything."

He nodded a little. "Huh, not a lot of folks immediately go for Celestia, but she's cool, yeah. Shame they never tell us much about her."

They didn't? "What do they show?"

"Almost nothing." He shrugged. "She's more of an ornament than anything else in most episodes. She does have a playful side with practical jokes when she can get away with it. She enjoys cake and a good party."

Parties?! "Party?"

"It was only one episode, but she seemed very eager to join in the dancing at the second Grand Gala." He sat up a bit. "How do you like her so much if you never saw the episodes that had her in it?"

"Oh, uh, she made a strong impact on me, from what little I saw. Maybe it's all just me romanticizing things." I picked up the tea I had ordered with it and sipped lightly. "So, who's your favorite then?"

"Turnabout is fair play," he admitted. "Of the Mane Six, I'd go with Rarity."

I realized a critical error just then. I still had no idea who most of them were. "What about them do you like?" That seemed a safe question.

"Well, she's a creator, and a public figure. I can relate to that." He smiled as he ate. "She feels like the one that'd understand the struggles of marketing, even if she would rather be making a physical thing, in the end."

That was a hint... "So, you're going to be my tenant." He tensed. "We should set some ground rules." I pulled out my phone and pulled up some pictures of the house. "It's one story, have you seen it?" He hadn't, so I flipped the phone over to he could see them. "It looks like a nice place," I continued. "I want to keep it that way. I don't know your personal habits, so..."

He put up his hands defensively. "Hey, I make my messes at other people's houses for them to clean up." He had a joking air as he said it. "Seriously though, I'll clean up after myself. This place looks big for one person."

I huffed faintly. "Good thing there will be two at least, right?" I tucked the phone away. "Rent is due on the first of the month. We're both professionals, and I know how we get paid, so let's just have that done and not even be part of our lives. Check preferred. Utilities, I'll cover Garbage, Water, and half of electricity."

He seemed taken aback slightly, but quickly recovered. "That seems fair. I assume you're also covering upkeep, assuming I don't break anything wantonly?"

I nodded at that. "Something breaks on its own, it's on me. You break it, we have words to share." I sipped the tea. "Now, the trickier affair..."

He sucked in a breath. "You want to call it off?"

Really, no, I didn't. I'd have liked for things to work out like a fairy tale, perfect and wonderful, ending with us dying happy and old together, holding hands. Alas, that was the real world, and not a fairy tale... "It could make things very complicated..." I didn't like it. From his expression, however much he tried to hide it, he didn't either. We'd be close together, and yet an infinite distance apart. "It's the mature thing to do."

"Yeah..." He knew it was true. It didn't make him like it any more than I did. "I should... get going."

"I'm almost done, I'll--"

He held up a hand. "It's alright, Linda. It's not far. I could use the walk. Thank you, again. This means so much." He made his departure, walking off back towards work.

He didn't like it. Neither did I. Being an adult sucked sometimes. I chewed thoughtfully on my lunch as I mused over it.

I awoke to the cool, almost comforting, embrace of stone pressing on me from all directions. I didn't hear anything, so I broke free to find I was in a new place. The walls were a purple-kind of crystal. There were rows of books, and I was alone on a little wooden platform. "Twilight?" I guessed, but it felt a safe one. "Twilight?!" I called out for her, stepping down from the little platform and moving towards the door I could see.

With a sudden crackle-pop, a unicorn appeared. It wasn't Twilight at all. The mare went just a little pink. "She was not joking about you." She put a hoof over her mouth. "Oh, sorry. I'm Starlight Glimmer, and you are True Shot, right?"

If this many mares gaped at me, it seemed a forgone conclusion that I was a steaming hot slice of stallion. I wasn't precisely sure how to take it, but I decided to smile at the new mare. "Nice to meet you, Starlight. Are you a friend of Twilight's?"

Starlight bobbed her head as she approached. "I'm her student."

She has a student?! "What are you learning, magic?"

"Actually, yes, but no..." She tilted her head. "Have you heard the idea that 'friendship is magic'?"

I had, only recently. "Sure?"

"Well she's teaching me both, friendship, and magic." Starlight sat in front of me. "One lesson of which was to greet you and show you around. So, True, welcome to Twilight's Castle! I hear you'll be rooming with us for a little while?"

I nodded at that. "She moves quickly. I barely gave her permission this afternoon and here we are."

Starlight smirked at that. "When Twilight decides she's doing something, she can be very efficient. This way." she trotted past me towards that door I was aiming for before. With a twinkle of her horn, it opened. "Do you know much magic? Your cutie mark implies your talent has more to do with that bow on your barrel."

I moved to follow her quickly, trotting to match her pace. "I haven't learned any magic besides grabbing things and moving them around."

Starlight suddenly stopped and I almost crashed into her. "You don't even know how to glow?"

"Glow?"

She pointed a hoof up at her horn as it began to glow gently, then brighter and brighter by the moment. "Most unicorns learn this trick while they were still a foal."

I looked up awkwardly at my own horn, not glowing at all. I imagined it glowing, and nothing happened. I made a few funny noises as I tried to make it happen, but it seemed to not be as easy as grabbing things was. "How?"

Starlight smiled gently. "Looks like I've gained a student of my own." She sounded just a bit too eager at the sound of it. "I'll have you using that horn of yours better than ever, don't worry. For now, let's finish our tour." She turned away and got to trotting, pointing out each room as we went past them. We seemed to be working our way downstairs as she went, until we arrived at a large open room. "And this," She swept a hoof towards a large table. "Is the Cutie Map! It can detect friendship problems all over Equestria and send the proper ponies to fix it."

"It looks like a table..."

Starlight pointed at the chairs. "It only activates when they all sit in the proper chair, or when it detects a problem. I hope you get to see it, it really is quite a sight."

Author's Note

This chapter, man. Should I mark it mature? It has some deep adult situations. I don't wanna get in trouble.

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17 - Hot or Not

As amusing it would be to keep guessing about it, I decided to cut to the chase. As Starlight arrived in the kitchen and seemed to be getting a drink of water, I moved up beside her. "Starlight?"

"Yes?" She turned to me, sipping her glass.

"This will sound awkward, but it is what it is. Rate me on a scale of one to ten in physical appearance."

Starlight blinked at that with obvious confusion. "Are you attempting--"

"No! No." I waved a hoof. "You're a student of Twilight's. Us becoming involved sounds like a drama waiting to happen."

She looked relieved and mildly upset at the same time. "Yeah..." She shook herself free of whatever spell she was under. "If you want my frank opinion..."

"I do, please."

She set the glass aside with a nod then took two steps to be directly in front of me. She reached out a hoof and pressed it on my chest. "Your musculature is extremely defined. On one hoof, that isn't typical, on the other, it leaves no doubt that you are well... constructed." She raised her brows in unison. "You're a walking advertisement for a gym or workout pills. Your voice is smooth and inviting, and you walk confidently." She nodded as she stepped back. "If I were a superficial mare, I'd give you an easy eight."

Superficial? "And what do you give?"

Starlight reached for her half-filled glass of water with her magic. "Well, you asked me, that's minus one point. You are also my student, minus three points. That leaves you with only four points out of ten. Sorry, guess we're not becoming an item."

I smirked a little even as I agreed with her reasoning. It was much the same reason I had given. "That's alright. We can be friends. So where's Spike?" I glanced around, but no glimpse of the small dragon was forthcoming. "He said he'd show me around Ponyville."

"He's probably in his room." Starlight set the glass down after one last pull. "Back up the stairs we go." She broke into a lively trot and led the way through the many purple-pink hallways. "If you get lost, don't feel bad. It took me the longest time to start memorizing where things are. This should be Spike's room." She raised a hoof and clopped the door lightly. "Spike?"

"Yeah?" came a familiar voice before the door opened a crack and his face peeked. Once he saw me, he quickly opened it the rest of the way. "True! You're awake!" His eyes moved over to Starlight. "Hey, showing him around?"

Starlight gave a nod. "He's my student now. He barely knows how to use his horn, let alone any magic."

Spike hiked a brow at that. "Did you talk to Twilight about that?"

"I can learn magic?" Maybe I was a little distracted. "Besides picking things up, I mean."

Starlight quickly nodded. "All unicorns can, but most just don't bother. They're happy with their talent and leave it at that. Telekinesis and light are the farthest most go. It's not like they can't learn, and it is learning." She tapped her chin lightly. "Actually, scratch that. Some unicorns really don't have enough magic, but from what Twilight tells me, I don't think you're one of those. We'll find out!"

Spike held up a claw. "Hold your horses, Star. We should make sure Twi's alright with this before you rush ahead or she's gonna be really mad."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "If you insist, if only because I know you." She leaned in, lowering her head to his level. "If I don't, you'll rush off and tell her, like any good Number One Assistant would." She returned her look towards me. "I'll check in with Twilight, you and Spike go have fun."

Spike watched her go and stuck out his tongue at her. "Don't worry about her. She's just used to getting her way." He pulled his door shut behind himself and stepped further into the hallway. "It's time to show you around town! In fact, I think the only reason you didn't meet one of Twilight's friends is because you were a statue at the time. She has a sixth sense for new ponies."

I fell in line with him, but he was walking at the speed of a little bipedal dragon. That was not very fast. I willed him right off the ground and onto my back. "Point the way," I advised. Soon we were moving much more swiftly as I trotted down the stairs. Fair warning, trotting down stairs is as horribly unbalancing as it sounds, and I had to stop a few times to make sure my hooves were in the right place along the way. Thankfully we reached the bottom without any unexpected falls.

With the stairs of doom behind us, we were soon at the main doors. They were a little heavy, but nothing too bad, and the natural light outside spilled in, though it wasn't too much of it. It was night, just as it had been in the human world when I went to sleep. The moon was high and pretty, stars twinkling.

Downhill, I could see a cozy-looking village with lights in most windows. "Is that Ponyville?"

Spike bobbed his head and leaned around my neck. "Sure is! Some places'll be closing up, but I know where there're some places worth visiting."

Small town, sleeping at night. Seemed reasonable enough for ponies or humans. I was eager to meet the ponies of that town. I doubted they would be the same as those in the city I had begun in. "Spike, what are the people of Ponyville like?"

Spike hiked a brow. "Oh, uh, well they're pretty nice, overall. They can be a little shy if they don't know you at all, but that won't be a problem for the first pony I'm taking you to. She loves meeting new people, pony or otherwise. She can come off a bit... strong, but she's all heart, promise."

We arrived in the town. The lighting was low enough that it muted the colors, but I could easily see the place would be much more colorful at noon, not that I knew a way to visit during noon, which upset me a little. By the design of how my 'condition' worked, I was doomed to be an eternal night owl, or stallion.

We were approaching a building that looked like a giant gingerbread house when a voice called out from the side of the road, "Hey Spike, who've you got there?" I turned to see the source and saw a green unicorn perched on a bench in an odd way for a pony. The pony right beside her was laying down in a much more equine fashion. The normal one was shaking her head a little.

Spike waved a few fingers. "Hey Lyra! Meet True Shot." He waved down at me.

Lyra flashed a big smile. "You went and got yourself a new ride? I bet Twilight's super jealous." She hopped down easily to the ground and approached. "Hey there, True Shot. I'm Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. That lovely mare behind me is Sweetie Drops."

Sweetie colored faintly. "You don't have to introduce me quite like that."

"Alright, that nagging nag is BonBon," corrected Lyra just before she was struck in the head by a hurled bit of candy that Sweetie was apparently hiding. Lyra was laughing it off. "Good aim as always!" She turned back to me. "Forget me. She's a great pony and I'm just messing with her. Nice to meet you." She offered a hoof towards me.

I reached out one of my own and we met with a soft clop. "Nice to meet you, Lyra. You live here, I assume?"

Sweetie pointed off. "We live just over there, above my store. Do you like candy?"

Well, as a human I would avoid them, but as a pony... "I'd love to try some."

Sweetie pulled out a candy and waved it. Lyra seemed to get the clue quickly and snatched it from her just to pass to me. I took it in my magic grip, unwrapped it, and popped it right into my snout without delay. Mmmm... "A hint of cherry, and something else. It tingles a little."

Sweetie bobbed her head. "A little fizzy powder mixed into a berry blend. Don't chew it, it's more fun to suck it down."

I pointed back at Spike. "Can he have one too?"

Sweetie produced another, which Spike caught out of the air. "Thanks, man." He popped his in and we were both enjoying the tasty treat.

I nodded to her. "We'll have to visit your shop, when it's less dark out."

Lyra rolled her eyes. "It'd be silly for you to go there now, with her right over here. Hey, where ya headed?"

Spike pointed past my head towards the gingerbread building. "Sugarcube Corner! Pinkie has to meet the new pony."

"Oh, no doubt," agreed Lyra. "I'll be keeping an eye open for the party invite then." She walked back to the bench and hopped up beside Sweetie. "Have fun!"

Pinkie? "Is she pink?" I asked as we resumed our journey. The candy was still slowly dissolving into a delicious tingly mess in my mouth.

"Pinkest pony this side of the Crystal Empire," assured Spike. "You'll see for yourself. Just be ready, she can be a bit, uh, loud."

Loud? I put it aside as we reached the door. The place still looked open. I could see light coming out, and a little 'open' sign dispelled any doubts. I willed the door open and a bell jangled.

The oldest horse I'd seen so far looked up at me. I'd put him somewhere in pony 30's or 40's? "Hello there and wel-- Oh, hello Spike. Who's your friend? I don't think I've seen him before."

Spike waved energetically from my back. "Hey! This is True Shot, and I wanted to intro--"

A dramatic gasp cut off the statement and my vision was suddenly filled with pink with bright eyes in the center. "Oh my gosh! Hello there! Are you a friend of Spike, because that makes you a friend of mine and that's great! What's your favorite color? What's your favorite flavor of cake? Why didn't Twilight tell me you were coming! I'm totally unprepared!"

Spike hopped right on top of my head and slid down between the pink pony and myself. "Easy there, Pinkie. This is True Shot. True Shot, Pinkie."

I gave a thoroughly-amused smile. She was... I'm almost embarrassed to keep describing every pony I met as adorable, but she was! Equestria, land of cute things. "Hello, Pinkie. It's nice to meet you."

Author's Note

Nothing like an evening stroll through Ponyville with a draconic tour-guide. Far less frantic than Canterlot, that's for sure.

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18 - Pinkie Party

Pinkie bounced up and down with clear excitement. "Hey, anypony ever tell ya you have a, whattaya call it, statue-eesk--" She did pronounce it that way, I swear. "--kind of look?"

Spike hopped down lightly to the ground. "That's because he is one of those half the time."

Gee, thanks Spike. Still, it was true. I nodded at Pinkie. "I heard you like meeting new people?"

She bounced towards me. "You too? You sound happy to meet me and that makes me happy! So, about those questions? I have to plan a proper pony party!"

Mr. Cake, who had introduced himself in a lull of Pinkie's excitement, gave a little chuckle. "Pinkie, let the new pony have some space."

Compared to everything else going on, I found Pinkie's antics endearing. "Don't worry about it. How do ponies party around here?" Did they play pin the tail on the donkey? That would have been too much.

She gave the biggest grin. "Well, before, I would just go all out! But I've learned my lesson." She gave a suddenly somber nod. "Which is why I'm asking all kindsa questions. I want your welcome party to be something special to remember."

Aw. "That's very kind of you." What sort of party did I want? "You know, honestly, I want to be surprised. Throw me the party you think I want to have, and I promise I'll enjoy it."

Pinkie squealed and was gone in a streak of pink. I never saw a pony move so quickly.

Spike shook his head a little. "I think you're gonna regret that." He suddenly smiled too. "Or have the best day of your life, one or the other. Pinkie isn't one for going in halfway on these things." He elbowed me lightly on a foreleg. "Well, that's Pinkie down. You gave her permission to surprise you, so you won't see her coming until streamers are raining down on your head."

I gave a bit of a smile, imagining my future, startled, self. "Did you have other places to check out?"

"Oh yeah! You have great timing." He scaled up onto me swiftly. Now, I remind, I was born a human. Feeling something scramble up your body is a little disquieting, even if I knew I gave him permission to do just that. He arrived on my shoulders and got comfortable. "Octavia and Vinyl are giving a duet! They almost never do that. It should be starting soon."

I followed the direction of his pointing claw and we stepped free of the store with a final, "Bye!" offered to Mr. Cake. I trotted carefully along the dim street towards a much brighter plaza up ahead. There were ponies gathered around in front of a stage. I spotted Lyra and decided to wander towards her, at least until Spike gave my mane a bit of a tug.

"Over there." He pointed to a different part of the crowd. I didn't see what he was pointing at, but I veered as commanded and weaved through the crowd of equines until a voice came at us clearly.

"Hey Spike, who's your new partner there?" The pony that had spoken had a stetson on. She was orange with the brilliant eyes that many ponies seemed to share. "Reckon ah never saw 'em." Beside her was a white pony with purple mane and tail done up in soft curls.

That other pony nudged the first. "Don't you recognize him?"

"No?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's True Shot! Princess Celestia just announced him to all of Equestria! Applejack, you simply must get off that farm of yours more often."

Spike was snickering on top of me. "That one's Applejack, and the other's..." He cut off with a love-weary sigh. "Rarity..." He leaned in. "If you, you know, happened to shoot her with one of those arrows, I wouldn't be upset or nothing if you hit me next."

So that was Spike's crush. "Have you tried telling her how you feel?" I whispered back to him.

"Once..." Spike rubbed behind his head. "Uh, anyway! Hello, ladies!" He hopped down between them. "I'm showing True Shot around."

Rarity ruffled Spike's headfins lightly. "And you thought to expose him to modern culture with Octavia's divine melodies? Excellent idea, Spike."

While Spike was floating off with delight, Applejack was looking at me. "Yer an awfully strong-lookin' pony, fer a unicorn. What's yer talent?" Her eyes darted towards my flank. "Archery? Match makin'?"

I had to smile. "Both, actually." I settled down beside them. "Nice to meet you both. You're Twilight's friends, right?" I had heard the names from Kevin earlier. Rarity was his favorite, I didn't forget. I felt the littlest twinge of guilt. If I could show him Rarity, I would.

Applejack nodded in reply. "Some of her best." She tipped her hat forward a little. "So how'd ya get inta town? Ya stayin' close by?"

Rarity nudged Applejack lightly. "He's staying at the castle." She pointed up the hill into the darkness. "With Twilight and Starlight and Spike."

Applejack raised one brow with a skill that showed she'd performed the gesture many times. "They ain't gettin' into nothin' improper, I hope?"

I coughed softly. "N-no! I'm a gentleman."

Rarity blinked softly. "Is that an old saying? Darling, these days we say 'gentlecolt'. You are simply adorable!"

Oh, now I was the cute one? I nodded at Rarity lightly. "Thank you, sorry. Seriously, I don't plan on making any moves on either of them. One is my host, the other my teacher."

Applejack suddenly laughed. "Since when was Starlight a teacher? Ah mean, besides doin' exactly what she wants."

Rarity snorted softly. "That's not very nice, Applejack. She's been trying really hard to be a good pony, and if she wishes to take on an apprentice, I hardly see the harm of that." She looked to me. "What is it she's teaching you, anyway? Advanced magic?"

A blush swept up into my cheeks. "How to glow, to start."

Applejack didn't get it. Rarity did and looked scandalized. "Oh dear! Goodness. Such a... stallion as yourself, unable to glow? Well, I'll trust in Starlight to see that rectified in short order."

Spike looked between Rarity and me. "I'm helping him get comfortable."

Rarity gave Spike a little hug, returning him to a state of paralysis. "Such a good Spikey-Wikey you are. I know I can trust you to see our new friend around safely."

Applejack smirked at the sight, then pointed a hoof up onto the stage. "They're about ta start."

I looked up to see a refined mare on her hind legs, holding a cello and the bow in a way that would have made physicists scream. Across from her was a unicorn mare with a full DJ system set up around her, throwing off my guess of what level of technology ponies had.

Those were not two playstyles I expected to see together, but there they were. The DJ pony was bobbing her head to some unheard beat, and the other stood as still as I was when I was--

I woke up. I was never so angry to wake up. "God damn it," I cursed as I smashed the alarm. I really wanted to see that show! It wasn't fair... I had a second life filled with magic and wonder and I couldn't really start to enjoy it.

I took a slow breath, then started my day. There was nothing for it but to handle what was in front of me.

It was when I got home that I went to take care of it, or try. I sat down at my computer and did what many people in that day and age did when they had a question, I asked Google.

I started researching lucid dreaming, how to control dreams, and things relating to that. I found techniques and ideas. Some of them contradicted each other, annoyingly, but research was not a new skill for me and I started compiling them and rating them based on how often they came up, the credentials of who did the talking, and other such things.

Sure, I had worked the entire day, but I launched myself at the project with equal burning fervor. It was several hours later that I had a printout of my findings in my hands and I was flipping through them, trying to put them to work. I closed the blinds, which I usually never bothered to do completely. I did everything, but that was less than half. A lot of it, apparently, had to do with how I thought when I was asleep, and some things would just have to be practiced.

I wanted control over my pony life, and to stop living it for just a few hours at a time. Was that an unreasonable request? I didn't think so.

The phone suddenly began to ring and I hurried over to snatch it up. "Linnie?" It was my mother on the line.

"Hey, mom. I wasn't expecting you."

"There are bad times to call your daughter?"

"You know I didn't mean it that way, how's it going?"

"I just wanted to invite you over. Your cousin's having a big bash for his anniversary and we're all invited."

"Oh? Lovely, when?" I knew which cousin it would have to be. Not my favorite, but family's family.

"A month from now. I know you like warning for these things."

A month? Oh. "That reminds me... Mom, I'm going to be moving soon."

"Moving? Where?"

"California."

"California?! Why so far away?"

"Work. My boss needs me out there. Hard enough to buy me a two million dollar house."

"Sweet Jesus..." The line went quieter a moment before I heard mom shouting the news to father. She returned to the line. "What're you doing with the house you already have?"

"I was going to sell it."

"Sell it?! Your niece is just getting out of college soon. She could really use a place..."

Oi vey. I put a hand over my face. "I have to pay taxes on the new house, not to mention this one."

"You can rent it to her," insisted mother on the phone. "You know she's a good girl."

Renting, to family. That never bit anyone in the butt before... I wanted to growl, but that would hardly help. "I'll consider it, no promises."

"You do that. I know you're a great Auntie."

I rolled my eyes even as the conversation began to slide to other topics. Mother had gone full mental blackmail on me. If I sold the house, I would feel like a heel, and if I didn't, there was a good chance it'd all explode on me later.

Great.

I tried to shove it all out of my mind for the moment. I had horses to dream about. They didn't worry about real estate.

Author's Note

Oh my, more mature themes. The adult situations just don't quit around here.

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19 - Perfect Punctuality

I felt the gentle, but firm, embrace of stone. I was in the pony world. I could break free, but I didn't. I centered myself and tried to think as the things I had read taught me.

It was quiet and still, but I heard something. I twitched an ear in the confines of my stone prison and heard another faint shuffle.

Someone was nearby, but I wouldn't be able to see who until I broke out. Just as well. Even as relaxed as I was forcing myself to be, the air was growing stale. I gave a firm twist and broke the shell, just in time for a loud pop and colorful confetti to rain down on and around me. I blinked cluelessly, distracted from shaking free the stone as I became even more of a mess.

"Surprise!" shouted Pinkie as she sprang out from behind a shelf, then suddenly there were other ponies everywhere! It was like the whole town had come.

Twilight was there, looking a bit sheepish. "I hope you're alright with this?"

Rarity was also there, and began picking the debris clean of me as a feather duster came in to assist in the matter. "Darling, poor thing, ambushed in such a state!"

Pinkie bounced towards me, already launching into a welcoming song. I could have been annoyed, but, no, compared to human struggles, it was just funny in the end. Laughter erupted from me in deep bellows as I sank to my haunches. "Thank you, Pinkie, everyone. Do you do this for every new person?"

"Each and every one!" agreed Pinkie. "As if there's a pony not worth being happy about." She produced a slice of cake from seemingly nowhere and held it out towards me. "Try it!"

I willed the plate it was on up over to me and gave it a nip. It was like I sank my mouth into a huge wad of bubblegum, but it was cake. Bubblegum cake, without any artificial after-tastes. I looked up from the cake to the grinning pink pony. "Is this one of your favorite flavors?"

"How'dja know?!" She exclaimed with obvious surprise. "I like a lot of flavors actually, but that one's good. Like it?"

I did, and took another bite, to Pinkie's satisfaction.

"Hello," came a new voice and I looked up at a dark red mare with flowers on her flank. "Welcome to Ponyville. You're just visiting, I'm told? I'm Cheerilee, a teacher of the foals here. Nice to meet you."

I let the plate float away and hover. "Hello Cheerilee. It's always nice to meet a teacher. There are only a few people as important in our life."

She managed to blush through her already reddish fur. "O-oh? Don't flatter me so." She tried to wave it off, but I could see she was affected. "I'm not that important."

"Yup." A large stallion stepped in on the conversation. He was red too, like an apple, rather than the champagne color of the mare.

Cheerilee tittered softly. "This is Big Mac." She waved at him lightly. "Who's maybe a little jealous of a new stallion making me blush."

I gave Big Mac a light smile. "She's all yours. I just wanted to compliment a teacher on what they do. It's a noble profession." Maybe more noble than being a lawyer, but I was satisfied with my work, and my pay. In a totally fair world, maybe our salaries would be swapped, but that wasn't happening and I was greedy enough to not bemoan it for too long.

"Ayup," he agreed, seemingly calmed down by knowing I wasn't trying to chase the mare. "Pleased to meetcha." He offered a hoof that I met with a solid clop. With a final nod, he wandered away.

Twilight and her friends came in next. "Hello there. I hear you met Rarity and Applejack."

Rarity smiled. "You gave us quite the start, suddenly going all to stone like that, dearie me, that must be quite trying."

Twilight gestured to a yellow pegasus. "This is Fluttershy." Then to the more colorful pegasus. "Rainbow Dash."

"I'm Pinkie!" declared Pinkie with her usual glee. "Now we're all introduced."

Then I spotted something new and curious. She wasn't as brightly colored as all the other ponies around. She also wasn't a pony, not entirely. She was clearly a zebra, stripes and all. She also had African-style gold bands on her legs and neck. It was... I liked it.

I pointed to her. "Who is she?"

All their heads turned at once. Rainbow shrugged softly. "Who? Zecora? Hey, Zecora, come over here!"

Zecora perked her ears and wandered closer. "For what reason do you yell? Are you introducing me as well?" She looked me up and down. "A stallion cut from stone, even here he stands alone. Something curious I do smell, but what it means I cannot tell."

Twilight cleared her throat lightly. "Good evening, Zecora. This is True Shot. True Shot, Zecora."

I nodded to Twi and the zebra. She held herself differently than the ponies. She felt more... mature? I felt more like I was speaking to a peer. Most ponies I felt I was speaking to a well-meaning and adorable child. Celestia made me feel like the youth. Zecora, whom I had just met, immediately had me looking her straight in the eyes on more equal terms. "Nice to meet you. What do you do? As a profession, I mean."

She canted her head just faintly. "You ask what it is I profess, there are many things I could confess. I work with mysterious brews, and sometimes I am here to provide a clue. And what of you?"

A triple rhyme? I supposed it wasn't technically breaking a rule. "I'm a l--" No I was not. I was True Shot. I quickly stopped and restarted. "Sorry, I'm not really employed yet, but I'm good with this bow and love helping ponies understand each other better."

Fluttershy poked me lightly. "Do you hunt?" She sounded mildly terrified of the answer.

"Not animals," I quickly assured. "These arrows don't hurt anything, not directly at least."

Applejack blinked softly, but Rainbow was faster to speak, "So what do they do?"

I willed the bow to a ready position, nocking an arrow as it went. "Two ponies struck with these feel the need to speak truly about what they mean to each other. It can help cement a relationship, or, I suppose, quickly prove where a false one is trying to hide."

Rarity gasped, a hoof over her mouth. "You'd best be careful with that, darling. You could cause no end of mischief with it were you to fire it indiscriminately. "

Rainbow got a cocky grin. "I can think of a few ponies I wouldn't mind being sure about."

Applejack shook her head up at her colorful friend. "Whoever you're thinkin', stop. It ain't yer place to go pryin'."

Rainbow thrust a hoof at Cheerilee and then over to Big Mac standing closeby but not engaged directly. "C'mon! You aren't the slightest bit curious to know what the real deal is?"

Applejack reared up just to cross her forelegs. "Ah ain't curious enough t'go pryin' into m'brother's business any."

Twilight coughed into a hoof lightly. "We're not here to violate any boundaries, right?" She looked towards me.

I felt... I had an urge. I wanted to shoot them both and dispel the romantic ambiguity. It was literally what I was made to do. The arrow in my bow pulled back, but was released to fire wildly into the air as ice-cold water splashed right into my face.

All eyes turned to Zecora as she put down her cup. "Our stallion was about to transgress, I hope my actions did not distress."

Rainbow snickered softly. "I wanted to see what would happen, but his face when you got him was good." She offered a hoof towards Zecora, but the brohoof was not returned that time.

Fluttershy moved in front of me, taking up most of my vision. "You shouldn't do that." She sounded far more sure than she had before. "It's not right."

I felt chastised and I hung my bow back on my side. "Sorry." I wasn't afraid of her, but I didn't want to make her upset either. "Just a flight of fancy."

Pinkie tilted her head "More like a flight of an arrow." She plucked the arrow out of her rump. I didn't remember aiming at her, and wondered why the arrow hadn't vanished as normal. Thankfully, it didn't seem to have actually hurt her. She hoofed it back to me and I put it back into my quiver.

The party proceeded smoothly, with many ponies coming up to say hello to me.

One of them, a filly with pink fur accompanied by another filly with silver fur, eyed me quite critically. "So," spat the pink one. "I hear you're friends with Princess Celestia."

Was she nervous of me, or a brat, or something else? I wasn't sure. "I am, but let's not let that get in the way of being friends."

The silver one nudged her. "I told you, DT, he's not like that."

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

DT thrust a hoof at me. "You may have been a big shot back in your day, but it's our day now. My daddy owns this town."

I raised a brow at that. "The ponies I've met don't seem the sort to enjoy being 'owned'."

DT took a step towards me. "Don't try talking your way out of this! I--"

I was certain I would have brushed the little kid off, but I had a hunch. She was threatened. She was lashing out. I scared her, and her loud words were her way of defending herself. I gave a gentle smile. "What's your name?"

She flushed red across the face. "I am Diamond Tiara! And you--"

"A lovely name," I quickly interjected. "Ponyville is lucky to have you."

Her fury fizzled in confusion. "W-what?"

Her friend tittered softly before offering a hoof. "I'm Silver Spoon. Nice to meet you, True Shot." I reached and accepted her greeting with a gentle clop. She nudged Diamond gently and pointed at me. Soon I had a second little clop for the collection.

Diamond let out a heated breath. "So... why are you here, anyway?"

"Just visiting," I replied truthfully. "I'm not sure when I'm going, but I will go back to Canterlot. Still nice to meet you both."

The words seem to put Diamond at ease and she wandered off. Silver, on the other hand, came closer and started circling around. "You're like a painting!"

Warning sirens went off. Here was a filly that was too interested for such a little pony. "I think I heard Diamond calling for you."

"What? Really?!" She dashed off into the crowd. She'd forgotten all about me for the moment, thankfully.

Author's Note

Welcome to Ponyville!

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20 - Seeing Stripes

When the party was over and most of the ponies went home, one lingered despite it being Twilight's castle. Zecora stood before me with an appraising look. "You have yet to explain. Is this a matter arcane?"

Twilight was cleaning idly with her magic. "It's a bit of a long story."

Zecora glanced towards Twilight, then back at me. "I have time to hear a tale, especially one that is told well."

I lifted my shoulders a little. Hanging out with the mature mare felt like far from the worst thing I could be doing. "Alright, have a seat and we'll go over the basics." She did so, and I began giving her the story much like I'm giving it to you right now.

She held up a hoof when I started to become frazzled and confused. "Caught between two worlds is no laughing matter, more than enough for a psyche to shatter." Her exotic eyes narrowed slightly. "Have you taken a step from one or the other, to continue to balance, your mind may smother."

I perked an ear at her. "I was very confused back then, but not so much now. I'm handling my affairs on both sides nicely, I think. My job in the human world has me moving and shaking, but my dream time is my time, and I have no issue spending it with all of you." I spread my hooves wide a moment. "I wake up feeling like I got enough sleep."

Zecora looked towards Twilight. "If it would not bother, I will examine this forefather. Pony of ancient times, will you endure my rhymes?" Her eyes had returned to me. "I will endeavor to make it worth the time, We'll get an answer, hopefully before bedtime."

Twilight shook her head a little. "I trust Zecora, but it's up to you, True Shot."

Well, if Twilight trusted her, I wanted to be around her. A small bit of me tugged gently, asking why I was attracted to a striped not-horse lady, but it wasn't a loud enough concern to stop me from rising up to my hooves and following after Zecora.

She led me away from the town, into a forest nearby that felt a bit creepy, especially in the dark, but I didn't want to look like a wimp, so I kept my worries to myself and held my bow in my magic grip. Would shooting a monster slay it, or get me hugged to death, or something else? I really waspern't sure.

"Mind your step." She pointed to a patch of blue flowers. "There are hazards before my doorstep. That flower will pervert your form, The curse will remain until a special bath restores the norm."

I danced away from the flowers nervously. Pervert my form? "Are you being dramatic?" I skirted around the patch, giving it a wide space as I kept up with Zecora.

Zecora smiled gently. "Once I was too dramatic in my warning, The ponies regretted it come the morning. A touch of chaos, a lingering trait, Such pretty flowers are simply bait." She accelerated as a hut came into view. It practically screamed African, with voodoo masks hung up and odd herbal scents coming from within. She nudged the door open easily and held it for me.

I heard a hiss. I didn't even look to see what it was. I rushed away in a frightened gallop, only to trip and fall. I looked back to see this crazy rooster... dragon... thing? It had beady red eyes and was staring at me. More worrying than that, my hooves had gone to sleep. I mean, they were turning to stone, and it was spreading up my legs.

"Begone, begone foul chicken beast! This pony will not be your feast!" Zecora came rushing in with a lit branch and waved it wildly at the creature, scaring it away into the underbrush. She glared after it a moment before turning back to me. "I fear I've been a terrible host, To be so lacking at my post." She returned to the hut and back quickly without the torch.

"What was that thing?" I asked, voice shaking with shock.

"A cockatrice, very dangerous." She did not complete her rhyme. Instead she nuzzled under me, hefted me up with considerable effort, and got to quickly walking back to the hut. She heaved me onto the clean floor inside even as she kicked the door shut behind her. "I confess I am curious, that is if you are not too furious. Will your curse dispel the stone, Is it enough to break it alone?"

I looked down at my half-petrified legs. I was in no real condition to do much about it. "What would you do if it didn't?"

Zecora waved a hoof at her shelves of herbs. "A cure is here, of this I assure, I will make you well, you can be sure." She trotted off and returned with what looked to be a dream catcher. She waved it over me as she sang an odd little song in a language I did not know, not that I knew many. English had served me well enough.

"Is that to fix this?" I asked, squirming a bit. It was uncomfortable having my legs all bunched up as they were.

"In a way, that is the case. Your other side I must face. Tell me the name of your other self, be they pony or something else." She set the device on a hook and sat beside me. "Of your best interest, I do act. Trust me with this, this one fact."

The rhymes were cute at first, though less so while being forced into being a statue again. "No offense, but do you have to rhyme every time."

"Yes," she declared in clear opposition to the very answer she gave.

I smirked a little at that, but nodded. "Linda is my name."

"Linda is a curious name. Are you a stallion or a dame?" She started fetching various herbs and tossed them into a small bowl where she began grinding them up. "Please be patient, this is as fast as it can be. With a little time, you will be set free." Smoke puffed up from whatever she was cooking up there.

I managed to roll over with some effort onto my belly, my legs awkwardly pinned under me. "These days, a little of both, not that I've done much as a stallion worth the title besides the experience of going behind a tree."

Zecora raised a brow, but it turned into a frown. "I see... The ways your eyes did wander, my flank you did seem to ponder."

My turn to blush was upon me and I glanced away. "Sorry. I didn't mean to stare." Stupid stallion body!

Her frown eased to a smile as she came back, holding the bowl in her teeth. "Let's get you fixed, make you well. There is still a story you have to tell." She set the bowl beside me and dipped a hoof in. It came up with a coating of blue gunk. She tipped me over easily from my precarious position and began rubbing the blue stuff against my legs. "Sleep."

I felt suddenly quite the opposite. I was wide awake. My legs tingled before they came free of their prison and I pulled them the rest of the way out. Soon I was standing with a relieved expression. "Thank you, Zecora."

"Hmm. My theory did prove true. When your other sleeps well, you're free to be you." She pointed at me. "D--

I cut her off. "Wait? You just cast a spell or something on my body in the, uh, waking world?"

Zecora nodded. "This much is true. The mixture was for the other you."

The idea that magic could reach across was... actually suddenly not that surprising. Twilight had grabbed the paper from me before. Sure, she couldn't pull it through the screen, but her magic was clearly working across whatever barrier stood between their world and my native one.

"Well, thank you, for fixing that." I waggled a free hoof, stretching a bit. "Would that have messed up the whole thing, do you think?"

"I do." She nodded. "If you were completely stoned, any return to here would be postponed. Until cured, there you would remain. Your pony life would forcibly abstain."

That... made sense. If I was forced into being a statue, then I'd be out of luck until that was fixed, just like being forcefully un-statued was an equally traumatizing yanking across worlds. I regarded Zecora with building curiosity as she put her bowl away and tended to the fire under a huge cauldron of purple fluid that dominated the center of the room.

"You are not a pony." She turned towards me. "Not zebra, donkey, or even a mule. What manner of species do you call true?"

So, I began to explain what a human basically was. She didn't seem nearly as surprised as I would have expected.

"Twilight has spoken of your race, She has been to your world with grace." Zecora gestured at me. "Do you think yourself pony or human? You stand as a horse, but were born a true man."

"Woman," I corrected. "While I am here, I am True Shot, a pony."

Zecora gave a soft murmur. "And so you feel the urges and drives of your pony body, to awaken and find new morals to embody. Your words are clear, but your eyes do not lie. Tell me clearly, are you bi?"

I coughed and turned red. What a question! "I've experimented before," I awkwardly deflected. "I prefer straight, but what is straight when you're a stallion?"

She opened her mouth, but I never heard the words. My alarm dragged me away from the conversation to face the next day as a human.

I rubbed my still warmed cheeks. That had strayed a bit too close to things. I shouldn't have even been looking at any horse that wasn't Celestia, anyway.

That thought made me groan. Why was I perfectly alright thinking about Celestia that way? Visions of her imposing majesty flashed through my mind as I ate breakfast. The love there, if there was any, wasn't blocked by my work. Of course, it was just as equally blocked by her work. She was a princess, and was trying to be a good one. I wondered if she thought being romantic would compromise her ability to be a mother to all her ponies.

My cellphone rang and I snatched it out of my purse. "Linda speaking?"

"Hey, sis!" It was my cousin. "I hear you're moving all out to Ca-lie-for-nigh-eh! Ready for the trip?"

I smiled a little. Not being within an easy commute of him was one mild comfort. I didn't hate him, of course, but he could be trying. "I'm as ready as I'll get. I do have things to do, including getting to work."

"I won't keep you long, but will you be there, for the party?"

"I'll be there, even if it means flying back just for the occasion." I didn't imagine mother would let me live it down if I missed it. "I can stay at mother's house a few days."

"She'll love that! She hasn't had one of us bothering her for a while. Maybe show her what it's like long enough for her to stop asking for it." He laughed and we said our goodbyes before the call ended.

I had work to get to.

Author's Note

Zecora asks pointed questions until the stallion cheats his way to freedom.

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21 - Preparing for a Journey

I put my attention on the human world that day. I arranged for movers to come once the date was finalized to haul my things across the country. I told mother my poor niece could move in, but there wouldn't be much there. I had no intention of leaving all my furnishings behind. They had memories, and, darn it, I was keeping them.

Kid was getting a whole house to live in. She could buy her own stuff. I'd leave some behind, mind. I saw no reason to take my bed along, for instance. I could buy a new one cheaper and easier than moving it. I was also leaving a big heavy dresser behind. I did like it, but not that much.

I also started to look around the house I'd be moving into. I found the local stores I'd be heading to. Grocery store, shopping district, movies, all of those things I'd have to wander around and search for if I waited until I was there to check the maps. The house wasn't too badly located between things. There was even a school not too far away, if I had a kid, which I didn't.

None of that exempted me from work, nor did I ask for it to. I was getting things done, forms signed, and research completed. Some of it seemed related to the new branch. None of it, however, hinted at who the new client was. It still had to be something big. Something worth blowing two million on without much reservation.

My work-filled musing was interrupted by a knocking. Kevin poked his head in. "Any word on when we're doing the move? How do you plan to get there?"

"A plane?" I ventured. "I suppose I could drive, but I'm not sure I'm up for that."

He shook his head. "What, gonna give up your car? Look, we can make an adventure out of it." He pulled out his phone and showed it to me. There was a map displayed showing the route from where we were to where we needed to be, with dots along the way. "We can see the sights along the way, have fun with it! We both have a car we'd rather keep. Maybe you can afford to grab another, but I sure as hell can't."

I felt a smile forcing its way out of the corner of my mouth. "You want to make this into a road trip vacation?"

"And why not?" he countered. "Besides, if we rent a trailer, we can handle moving things ourselves at the same time and save money."

I hadn't considered that. "You car is bigger than mine..."

"Right, I'll take the trailer. We get to see some interesting things, and it'll be a test ahead of time to see how well we can get along without murdering each other." He spun the phone back to himself and pressed the screen a few times. My phone buzzed softly in reply. "I sent you the directions. We'll head out together and get to see our new house together. It'll be great, promise."

I found myself smiling all the more. That was more the Kevin I enjoyed being around, positive and cheerful. "Alright, fine. You talked me into it. The moving service wasn't cheap. If we can handle it ourselves, that's a win. And, no, I'm not rich enough I just buy cars for the fun of it."

He looked happy at my agreement. "Alright then! Better get back to work." He left, and, of course, that's when I remembered a reason not to do that.

I didn't want to put all that wear on the car... The cost of having the car shipped would be less than the wear...

But I had already said yes. I frowned in thought, considering the options.

"Something wrong?" It was Twilight.

What did a magic unicorn know about moving? I decided to find out. "I'm moving a considerable distance and just agreed to drive with a friend of mine, but realized afterwards I'd rather have my car shipped than drive it all the way over there and put all those miles on it."

Twilight looked as predictably confused as I expected, but an answer did come from her. "Why not use his car?"

"How did you know they were a he?"

"I had a fifty percent chance of success," said Twilight with a proud expression. "Oh, yes. I assume you're safe? You didn't come home and I suspected you must have woken up. Zecora's taking care of you?"

"She is, about that..." I rolled a hand. "Fifty percent? I saw a lot more mares than stallions when I was there."

"Humans are not ponies," stated Twilight. "From my experience, at least, the ratio seems far closer to even. Was I wrong?"

Well, no... "It varies a little depending on the culture and place, but, basically, yes." I raised a brow and did a quick Google search. "Huh, turns out some cities are just as skewed as what I saw."

Twilight smiled. "We vary just the same. Some places are closer to even than others." She reached out and tapped the screen from the inside. "We are very alike, really."

I wasn't sure I was willing to agree with that. "So what do mares do, with the odds of finding an available stallion being so low, by the numbers?"

Twilight's brows raised together. "Most just don't worry about it, while those that do marry have large families more often than not. Some mares have other mare roommates to keep them company." She rolled a hoof. "I never tried that, myself. I mean, I have five fantastic pony friends, a Number One Assistant, and more responsibilities by the day. I never really worried about it."

Of course, Twilight was a shut-in and didn't worry about relationships much. She must have noticed my expression because she suddenly looked more defensive. I lifted a finger. "Sorry, just distracted with that move and work of late." I pulled up a form I had been working on and resumed the labor of getting it done properly. "But you did inspire an idea about the moving to keep it simple without sharing a car."

"Oh?"

"Instead of renting a trailer, we can rent a whole truck. I can drive that, let U-Haul worry about the wear and tear."

Twilight clearly heard a few words she didn't know. "U-Haul?"

"A company that specializes in renting moving supplies, including whole trucks." I pulled up the U-Haul site on another monitor. It was adorable watching Twilight literally walk from one monitor to the other to look at it. She reached out and tapped at the window, trying to make it scroll, but that had little effect. Having mercy, I scrolled it down for her.

"Your economy is clearly advanced," she said in a complimentary tone. "You can rent movers, but entire wagons with such advanced machinery inside too? Hmmm." She turned back to me. "I should stop bothering you for today. Good luck in your work, and see you tonight, alright?"

I waggled a few fingers at her before she popped out of existence. Twilight was a nice pony, and I had a nice workload, which I put my mind back onto fully.

It was around lunchtime that I ran into Kevin again. "Hey, looking forward to it?"

As good a time as any, or so I felt, so I mentioned, "I won't be taking my car. I'll just rent a moving van and drive that. Your car won't have to haul a thing and my car won't get miles on it. I'll have the car shipped over."

He looked surprised a moment, then his smile returned. "Hey, great idea! But if you're doing that, why not get a trailer on it? We can haul my car along and we both save on miles."

That... wasn't a terrible idea. "You're paying the rental cost on that."

He put up his hands. "I figure I'm paying half the total rental cost. We're moving my stuff too, right? If you're willing to get the truck, we'll get a big one and take turns driving."

That seemed fair. I offered a hand. "Sounds like a deal." We shook on it, and the day continued.

When the day was over, I didn't feel like going straight home, so I detoured to this little Italian place I liked. I wondered a moment if I'd find anything quite like it. I supposed I wouldn't. No two places were exactly the same. I smiled a little. "I'll find something just as nice for different specific reasons." I headed inside to where the waiters knew my name and was seated in my favorite place. They knew what I wanted, but I cut them off. I was going to do many new things. I decided it was a fine time to start breaking habits.

"What's today's special?"

The waiter seemed surprised, but he bounced back from it quickly and started running down the specials. They were things I hadn't tried before.

That day seemed like a fine day. I took the second on the list.

It was great.

Author's Note

A day mostly mired in the mundanity of adult living, I dare say. No drama here.

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22 - Return to Ponyville

I awoke to soft murmurs and the sounds of something being dropped into water. I had a reasonable guess what it was and broke free to be sure. Yep, there was Zecora, stirring a mixture in that cauldron. Without a word she came right up to me and snatched one of the stone pieces and, with a toss of her neck, sent it flying to join the mix. "I had a feeling you would soon deliver, I needed some petrified stone, just a sliver. Now my potion will be complete, I hope you don't call me a cheat."

She needed a bit of my stony run-off for a potion? I could think of far worse crimes. "If it's helpful." I stretched out before coming closer to see inside. The liquid in the cauldron had turned a dark maroon shade, like Cheerilee's fur. "What will it do?"

"It will help other ponies." She tapped her ladle against the side. "To cure petrification without more ceremonies. You are not the first, and alas, likely not the last. There's little reason to not be ready for the task."

I nodded a little as I took a sniff. It smelled a bit salty and with an oddly meaty undercurrent. "If it can help someone not be a statue forever, you have my full support. Oh, good morning, by the way."

"Good evening you mean." She pointed out the door where I could see the dimness of the late afternoon.

Was time sliding? I had awoken in the morning, the night, and then, early evening. "How long was I a statue?"

Zecora pointed to where the remnants of my stony self still sat. "You made an interesting ornament for about a day. I'm afraid this is not the place for you to stay. Hurry back to your studious host. Your destiny is not here in this outpost."

I was being clearly dismissed. I considered fighting it, maybe talking with Zecora more. Part of me wanted to get to know her better. Far better... Too much better. I shook my head clear of those thoughts even as I saw her smirk a little. She could see right through me. I gave a little dip of my head. "Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure to meet you and visit. Your home is lovely, and I hope we get to talk again."

Zecora set her ladle aside. "You are polite, but not very subtle. I may take you up, should I desire a cuddle." She strode past me and opened the door.

Right through me... With a burning blush, I walked out. "I hope I didn't offend. Have a good day, Zecora."

She nudged the door closed most of the way. "Your presence was not unwelcome, perhaps some day my way I'll beckon." Click, it was shut.

I had been shot down, though gently. Perhaps that was just as well, seeing as I had a horse princess that already had dibs on me. Why was I so interested? I mused on it as I trotted through the forest quickly. I didn't want to be caught by any more crazy dragon-birds.

Thankfully, I emerged from the forest before it got totally dark. I was beside a cottage with chickens that did scare me a moment, but they were normal chickens.

There was a pony outside with a lot of animals. I knew that pony. "Fluttershy?" I wandered closer.

She looked up and saw me. "O-oh! Did you just come out of the Everfree? You should be careful, it can be dangerous in there, especially late in the day." Her eyes fell to my bow. "Oh! Were you hunting?" The animals all seemed to be looking at me then with judging eyes.

"No, promise," I quickly swore. "I haven't used it the whole trip. I was with Zecora."

Fluttershy seemed to relax. "Oh? She has an interesting house, doesn't she?"

I looked over at Fluttershy's cottage. It was lovely and homey. "Yours is just as nice, in a different way. It looks quite comfortable."

Fluttershy tinted red a little. "It's where I feel most comfortable." She stood up and began gesturing to the animals. "These are my friends, besides the others you already met. I was just saying goodnight to most of them." A small white rabbit suddenly thumped her in the leg and she looked down a moment. "And this is Angel Bunny. He's mine specifically."

"A pet?" I asked curiously.

"I'm not sure I'd use that word specifically..." She looked nervous and Angel was, somehow, giving her a pointed look. "But we care for each other."

It was... dare I say it? Yes, I did... adorable. "You two go together nicely. I should get going to Twilight's so she doesn't get worried about me."

Fluttershy pointed the way through the town towards the castle/tower in the distance. "Please be safe, it's getting dark."

I walked on past her and entered the town proper. It was like the evening I had met Pinkie Pie and missed that concert.

"Hey," came a new voice.

I turned to see one of the ponies from that very concert. Her head was still bobbing, and I saw she was wearing headphones on her big fuzzy ears. "Hey." She stepped towards me. "You're that stallion that went all rock hard for my jam, right?"

I felt an awkward smile spread on my snout. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

She waved it off with a hoof. "S'all good. You scared a few ponies, but we got past that." Her eyes wandered over me, though it was hard to pick out through her glasses. "I wanted to meet you. I'm DJ-Pon3, but you can call me Vinyl."

I immediately worried. Had I drawn another mare? Or was that just the way Vinyl acted? I decided to just assume the best. "Hello, Vinyl. I'm True Shot." I pointed up to the castle. "I'm staying with Princess Twilight right now."

"I heard." She nodded somehow in perfect rhythm with the bobbing she was already doing. "What's up with the rock thing? That's a pretty cool trick, but I can't imagine it's convenient."

I shook my head a little. "You can say that again. I really wanted to see your show!"

She smiled, a warm and genuine smile. "You don't even know who I am."

"Vinyl Scratch," I provided. "Besides that, a musician. I wanted to hear what you and that other pony were going to play. I admit, I'm not normally big about music, but that one 'felt' exciting. I'm sad I missed it."

Vinyl reached out and put a hoof on my chest. "Huh, guess I was wrong."

"As usual," came a new voice with a British accent. The other pony stepped into clear view around a house. "Hello, True Shot. I pray you forgive our impertinence." She dipped her head towards me. "I am Octavia, and it is good I wasn't wrong about the impression I had received. You struck me as a true fan, not one simply ogling us."

Vinyl snorted softly. "I was so ready to blow you off hardcore if you made a pass at me, and Octy here woulda owed me."

"But that didn't happen," noted Octavia. "So it is you who are indebted to me. Still, this is quite rude, please accept my apologies. We meant you no harm."

I was a little surprised. The idea that the cute ponies could try to lure someone in showed more maturity of a sort than I would have given credit for, though it was also a bit disarming to know I was being led to make a fool of myself. Still, I had avoided the trap, and maybe made two friends? "Well, this is a surprise." No lie there. "Are you two friends then, outside of professionally?"

Vinyl tossed a leg over Octavia and drew her tight. "We go way back!"

Octavia gave a slightly strained but accepting smile. "Fate itself has seen to it, it seems. And what of yourself?" She raised a brow faintly. "Is it true you are a pony from the distant past?"

"What? No way!" Vinyl released Octavia to come at me and start looking me over with new eyes. "Did all ponies look like those old statues? Radical."

I backed a few steps away from Vinyl. "Easy there. I'm a pony, just like you." Mostly? "You heard about the announcement, I gather?"

Octavia nodded just so. "My best clients are in Canterlot, so it behooves me to be mindful of the going-ons there." She glanced at her friend and then back at me. "Are you adapting well? I should imagine it's quite the frightful transition."

Vinyl bobbed her head quickly. "Oh yeah, how far back are we talking?" She stepped closer again. "Is this like crazy witchcraft?" Her horn glowed as she plucked the headphones off her own head and popped them down right over my own ears.

I started as a lively techno mix filled my senses, but it didn't last long as Octavia reached right in and snatched the headphones away in her teeth. "Vinyl! That is no way to treat a guest. You apologize this very instant."

Vinyl took her headphones back, or tried. Her horn was glowing and the headphones tugged, but Octavia had a sure grip. "Aw, c'mon, give 'em back! Don't be like this, Octy!" Still, the mare was not releasing them. "Awww, fine." She turned back to me. "Hey, look, sorry, alright? I just wanted to share my music with you. It was nice, right?"

"It was unexpected," I replied truthfully. "Not bad though." I smiled a little. Those fuzzy ears on my head were not just for decoration. "You should lower the volume a little. You'll hurt your hearing."

Octavia looked quite pleased. "I've tried to inform her of this very matter countless times, but I should doubt you'll have any more luck than I."

The headphones slipped free as Vinyl gave another mental tug and they settled back onto her head. "Hey, I like hearing... my music." She stuck out her tongue at the both of us. "You're alright, True."

Octavia rolled her eyes before focusing on me. "It's been a delight to meet you. Perhaps we can do so again, when it's not so late." She nudged Vinyl along and the two began to wander off.

I offered a quick goodbye of my own before trotting off towards the castle. It had grown properly dark by the time I arrived at those large doors and gave them a knocking with a hoof. "Anyone home?"

There was silence for a time before they cracked open to reveal Starlight. Her expression brightened right up on seeing me. "Oh! My student! I thought you were lost or something." Under her breath I heard her say something about my leaving her. "But here you are, all safe and sound, come in, come in." She stepped out of the way.

I wondered what insecurities Starlight might have had as I came into the warm interior and the door was shut behind me with Starlight's magic. "Good to be back. Sorry I was gone for such a long time. I wasn't planning on it, but my... condition is not nearly as reliable as I'd like it to be."

Author's Note

Welcome to your home, take, uh, 3?

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23 - Arcane Instruction

Starlight led the way into one of the many libraries that dominated the tower. "We'll start with the basics, glowing. You have to have that basic grip on your horn before you even consider moving on to real magic." She spun around suddenly. "Not that what you're doing isn't real magic, I mean." She raised a hoof to her face. "Sorry, I'm messing this up!"

I reached out a hoof to her shoulder. "Relax, Starlight. I'm here and listening. What do we do first?"

Starlight took a little breath before she nodded with regained confidence. "Right, you're here." She smiled at me. "Go ahead and have a seat here." She pointed to a small pad on the ground. She waited until I had done so, then gestured at her face. "Close your eyes and try to block out your body except for your breath, and your horn."

I closed my eyes and breathed softly. "How do I--"

"We're getting to that, promise." I couldn't see her, but I could imagine a nervous smile on Starlight's face. "Keep your eyes closed and wait."

There was a long moment of silence before I felt something touch my horn. I started and that got a yelp from Starlight. "Stay still," she hissed from just a bit above me. "Focus on the feeling. You have to learn how to feel your horn properly."

I tried to calm myself and relax. Starlight wasn't out to hurt me. I just had to relax, right? I still shivered just a little when I felt it again. It was warm and wet. Was that her magic? Wait, no... The longer I concentrated on it, the more I could feel more precisely what was going on. That texture... "Are you licking me?" My voice carried my surprise without disguise. "I am not a popsicle."

There was a soft clopping noise. "Very good. You've passed the first test. Now you're feeling with your horn. Try this." She brushed a hoof gently along my horn, and it went on and on just like that. She'd do something and expect me to identify it without peeking. I was starting to wonder if part of it was just her enjoying touching me. Still, nothing too untoward happened besides that lick.

Her voice lowered to just in front of me. "You passed that with flying colors. I hear some students can flounder in the tactile stage for weeks. Now don't get a swollen head, many others move on just as fast as you are. It varies from unicorn to unicorn."

I opened my eyes to see her smiling face. "Is that it then for lesson one?"

She shook her head. "Well, no, it could have been, but since you've passed that so quickly, why not push forward?"

I didn't feel tired, so I nodded quickly. "What's next? Also, were you flying?"

Starlight's horn began to glow and she lifted from the ground gently, hovering. "A little trick I worked out. I can't promise you'll get to that level, but we're going to try, alright?"

I reached out a hoof and waved it under Starlight, then over her. My investigation made her grin. Oh, that grin. It was so very smug. She was clearly very proud of her magic.

"Don't worry about that for now. You're in the basics." She landed gently. "And you're doing great! Alright, now that you can feel your horn, it's time to focus on the inside. Now... There are two ways we can proceed. The slow and boring way, or the fast and maybe a little invasive way."

"Invasive?" I raised a brow at her. Was it more invasive than being licked? "How invasive are you talking?"

Starlight pointed up at my horn. "I can use my magic to reach right on in there and tickle the parts you need to focus on, so you can learn what they feel like more easily. Poor unicorns without unicorn mentors have to figure it out themselves. That can take weeks, months, even years. If you trust me, we could be done much faster."

I gaped at her a little and the world as a whole. It was like learning breathing techniques from a teacher that could rest a hand on your lungs and heart directly, without surgery. "That... sounds amazing, unbelievable, and a scootch terrifying."

Starlight lay a hoof over her own heart. "I swear, as your mentor, I will be gentle and careful. If you have this trust in me, we can proceed."

Did I have that trust in her? We hadn't known each other for that long. Still, she was a unicorn of talent, enough to be Twilight's, a princess, student. "Let's make one thing clear."

"Hmm?"

"We do this right. It's not a contest."

Starlight bobbed her head. "Yes, right. I'm not trying to hurry you, True. We can do it the slower way if you'd rather?"

I was not a woman, er, stallion used to waiting when the option of moving faster was available, so long as that faster route wouldn't lead to complications down the road. "Let's do it, just be careful."

Starlight gave a little clop of joy before she settled herself on her haunches and reached with her glittering magic for my horn. I could see those sparkles pressing in at the tip, which felt pretty darn strange, let me assure you. I tried to stay still as best I could as I felt it pressing down and around in a spiral.

"Can you feel that? That's where your magic goes." I felt her press at one of the walls from the inside. "Learning how to channel and make magic flow along very specific patterns is how you'll advance to more and more complex spells." She stopped pressing in and seemed to be exploring. "I'm no doctor, but everything feels alright in here. That's good! Any scarring along this channel or other malformations can lower your potential as a wizard for life."

Oh, that made me feel so much better about having her in there, but I stayed still, terrified that any sudden movement may cause untold damage.

She pressed past that spiral and the resistance seemed lessened. "Ah, here we are. We're in the cranial-alicorn cavity." I felt her magic brush gently against something. "There's your thaumaturgical gland, where your magic is made ready to use through your horn. That's where we'll focus right now. I'm going to give it the littlest squeeze."

She did, and my muscles went tense. Light sparkled around my horn for a moment as a shiver ran through me from fuzzy ears to equally fuzzy tail. "Dear god!"

"Dear whatnow?" Starlight tilted her head. "I want you to express magic on your own now." She gently nudged that organ but didn't squeeze again. "You can feel it now, yes?"

I was acutely aware of the bulb in my skull, but making it twitch was another thing entirely. We spent what felt like hours with her nudging, brushing and even squeezing. It had me squirming and making the funniest little noises, but slowly I got my horn to glow dimly. I was making that muscle move.

Starlight withdrew gently from my horn and nodded. "Now, the boring part, practice. You're going to have to keep doing that until you can make a nice, clean, enduring light. Once you've done that, you're officially a mature unicorn, at least magically speaking." Her eyes roamed over me. "You're already quite mature in other ways..."

I tapped a hoof on the ground. "About that..." I could be coy or dance around the issue, or I could just ask. "Are you interested, Starlight?" My cheeks warmed at the asking, yet it still felt right to do. I blamed True Shot, the original.

Starlight coughed into a hoof. "I already told you where we lie." She rose up to her hooves and turned away. Her tail flicked dismissively. "You are my student. Keep practicing." She vanished in a bright sparkling.

None of that specifically said 'No, I am not interested in you.' I shook my head a little. Looking up at my horn, I willed it to glow and it gave a sputtering performance before settling into a dim little shimmer. I would get it to be brighter, that I promised myself even as I started walking. What was the use of magic you had to stay perfectly still for, anyway?

"Oh, True Shot!" Twilight was trotting down the stairs. "I'm glad to see you're alright. How was the visit with Zecora?"

I smiled at her before I focused on my horn, getting a brief flare up of brightness before it sputtered, spraying sparks for a moment.

Twilight blinked with wide eyes before she sat on her haunches and gave a clopping. "Oh! You're learning magic, yes, I remember that. Starlight must be doing a commendable job if you're already up to glowing." She pointed at my horn. "Don't try to force it past your comfortable level, or you'll get that sputtering effect. However did she manage it so quickly?"

"She did it the fast way," I replied as I moved to walk with her. She had stood up and resumed her journey.

"Fast way?"

"She reached into my horn."

Twilight cringed and stopped dead. "I'm... glad that worked well, but many schools forbid that, for fear of the student's health. Did Starlight make it clear the risks involved?" She shook her head, concern in her eyes. "A little shortcut could mean being magically crippled forever, if either of you did the wrong thing while she was operating."

I felt a cringe coming on as well. "She had." Sort of. She had impressed it was invasive, but not so much how risky the world at large considered it. "Well... we're past that now, right?"

Twilight took a small breath. "Yes. Just, in the future, let's not hurry this along at the expense of our health or long term potential. Still, congratulations are in order." She resumed walking and headed into the kitchen. "If this were human school, you've just entered high school. You're a young adult, just learning to really walk. Don't fall for the trap of thinking you can break into a sprint just yet." She pulled a jar down and popped it open easily, revealing cookies. She floated one over to me and I took it from her magic into my own. "My special supply," she said with a warm smile. "Spike knows not to touch these." Twilight took one for herself and put the jar back where it came from. "Speaking of which, me and the girls have to head out in a few days, royal business. I trust you'll be alright with Spike?"

"Sure, Spike's a great dragon. You're not taking him with you?"

She shook her head quickly. "Afraid this isn't one for him." She tapped her chin. "He likes to have a 'guy's night', and, well, you are one of those, so he may invite you. Have fun with it."

It was true, I was one of those. Hanging out with Spike sounded like a dose of sugar of the good kind. "If he invites me, I'll be sure to attend." I gave the cookie a nibble and found it crumbled just right, melted on my tongue, and had a delightful blend of flavors and butter that danced before being swallowed. "Mmm, you ponies are too damn good at cooking!"

Twilight laughed softly. "You can blame the Cakes for that one. They made that batch. Pinkie usually does my baked goods, but she was out the last time I went in for a resupply. Ah, yes." She produced a small bag from nowhere. "Your stipend." She floated it over and I accepted it.

Peeking inside, I saw a nice collection of bits of various denominations. "Why do I get paid, by the way? I'm not doing anything."

Twilight shook her head. "On the contrary, all citizens of Equestria are entitled to a minimal-lifestyle stipend for pursuing their destiny." She pointed at my flank. "You eagerly chase after yours, so you qualify. You also qualify for a few other things, so the stipend is raised just a little."

I blinked softly. Equestria was socialist? Thinking about it a moment, that seemed less surprising. Colorful, adorable, ponies would not have a society that didn't take care of each other as a priority. "What about ponies that have useless destinies?"

Twilight rolled her eyes lightly. "While some do seem of dubious value to society as a whole, we welcome everypony that puts their heart into it. Surprising innovations can come out of it, not to mention happy neighbors are easier to live with. It's a net gain for the country, overall. I'm still curious what the pony who loves large jars of jelly will ever accomplish, but the small stipend to keep him safe and fed means he isn't hurting anyone, spreading disease, or otherwise being a negative influence." She pointed at my cutie mark again. "Yours is much more direct. Managing and facilitating healthy relationships is of obvious benefit to society. Your stipend would increase if you made your services more directly available. For instance, opening a storefront."

Author's Note

Oh, oops! I got carried away. I thought I was still under 2k words, and here I am. The typo is size today.

Hey, I mention these a lot, but we're close to the end of the month, so it would be a great time to join the patreon so I can get to working on your story next month!

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24 - Self-Dependance

I tried to digest what I had just been told. I was... on pony welfare?

The idea burned me! The fact that it did was surprising, and yet not. On one hand, I was a magical pony in magical pony land, so I shouldn't have been so self-conscious, on the other, I had finished many years of school and many more than that climbing ladders in my profession, not to just be on welfare, magical pony or not.

The money that tinkled in the bag Twilight gave me felt... somehow dirtied. It was pity money, even if I knew it wasn't given out of that kind of heart. They were just kind ponies trying to be kind to one another, still...

There was only one way I could use that money and restore my suddenly bruised feelings. I fixed Twilight with a look and she tensed.

"Is something wrong?" she asked. "I double-counted it, and had Spike recheck it in case. It should be the proper amount."

I waggled the tainted money lightly. "How do I start making my own money?" I figured it would take money to get money, but spending it for that, for getting out of welfare, that felt like the proper use for it.

Twilight smiled. "Oh, goodness. You are a driven pony. I can't recommend it just that quickly, however."

"Why not?" There was a little acid in my tone that I didn't expect and I tried to calm myself. "I've had jobs before."

Twilight nodded. "I've been witness to that, yes. That doesn't remedy your critical lack of knowledge of society, our society." She sat on her haunches. "I propose we visit three friends of mine that should be able to help."

I blinked. Three? "That's a very specific number."

Twilight raised a hoof. "First is Rarity. She owns a store of her own and can give you the ins and outs on retail commerce."

I bobbed my head. Of course. "She sounds like a good start."

"I'm glad you agree." Twilight looked quite pleased. "Next is Applejack. She runs her family farm with Big Mac and Granny Smith and all of them can give valuable insight into the supply side of things, though I imagine you're more likely to pursue a more retail setting for your specific talents, it's still valuable knowledge."

Was I really getting an economic rundown in magical pony land? Why did that sound like great fun?! "Alright, good call. Who's the third?"

Her hoof lowered to point towards Ponyville through a wall. "Pinkie Pie. She is gainfully employed, unlike the other two, and can give some insights on what it's like to be a worker in Equestria. You may wish to put your talents to work in an already established business, and understanding what that means, your rights, and the expectations could be quite useful."

I gave a slow blink. I hadn't expected Pinkie Pie. "Alright... What about Fluttershy and... Rainbow Dash." I felt bad for almost forgetting her name. "Do they have jobs?"

"Fluttershy lives largely on the stipend. Her job, while valued by society, is not one she can reliably charge bits to any specific one pony, so she gets a comfortable but modest amount to continue seeing after the well-being of the animals. She does get a bonus when she averts an immediate disaster, but, mostly, she just lives simply." Twilight looked upwards. "As for Rainbow Dash, she is employed, like Pinkie. She actually has two jobs, but... I would not rely on her to give sober economic advice. She's a mare of action. Talking about the specifics of bit movement would have her asleep in under ten seconds flat."

I had to ask, "But you'd trust Pinkie to give calm advice?"

"Surprisingly, yes." Twilight gave a proud smile, though it was not for herself. "If you ask Pinkie for help, she will focus. She wants to see her friends happy, and you are one of those now. She's also very happy and proud being a baker, and asking about it should keep her interest nicely."

I felt a little warm and happy at being told I was Pinkie's friend. It was a nice little thing. I reached for Twilight and tapped her on the shoulder. "I hope she isn't the only friend I've made since coming here."

Twilight's smile widened. "I should hope not!" She turned in place a moment. "Now what did I come in here for..." She clopped a hoof against her own head. "That's right." She wandered out of the kitchen and I followed after her curiously. She opened a room that led into a study with, of course, more books. She plucked one with magic. "I'm still studying your condition. I can't imagine it's easy living two lives like this."

Was it hard? I tilted my head a little. "I... am glad for the chance. I like this second life, and the first. Both are complicated right now, but that just means I'm not bored. But! If you're looking, can you figure out a way for me to not wake up spontaneously in the middle of things? That part is the annoying part."

Twilight pointed at my hooves. "Like right now?"

I glanced down to see stone slowly rolling up my form. I was waking up, gently. "At least this time I have warning," I sighed out with a smile. "I'll be back, Twilight." I tried to relax and take a natural position, and the stone overtook me.

It was dark. I pulled the covers down a little and glanced over at my clock. Ten minutes before the alarm, by the look of it. If I trained myself to consistently wake up before it went off, I'd always have at least a moment's warning before I froze. That was a mild improvement.

It was time to greet the day! I slipped out of bed and began the rituals that would see me to work.

Author's Note

So, this time I feel the need to cut it right there and outright ask you, my reader, do you want to see more of True's adventures in financial independence?! Or is this barking up a tree no one wants to see? If not, it fades into the background.

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25 - You've Got Mail

I was at work, doing what I was paid to do. As it turns out, construction near churches has been a thorn in the side of development for quite a long time. Entire buildings have been constructed that could topple over in a stiff breeze just to avoid being in the way of a church.

It was my current job to make sure our project would not meet the same sort of publicity fate. I bounced between regulations and plans, fired off emails, and made phone calls to pull it together. Of course, I wouldn't be doing the building. Heck, our company wasn't doing the building, not directly, but it was my job to make sure that could go through without friction.

One of the less flattering names heaped upon me was a very practical one. I was the lubricator. They applied me to where two things might rub up and chafe and I made sure everything glided smoothly.

"You look occupied." It was Twilight.

"I am," I confessed, but I didn't quite have the heart to banish Twiight. "What's up?"

She became my companion, watching the work I did and asking little questions here and there. She even spotted a typo for me just before I could hit send. "Thanks." I smiled at her as I corrected it. She looked so pleased with herself. A living spellcheck, that was handy.

"Say, don't you have princess things to be doing?" I wasn't trying to tell her to go away, I was genuinely curious.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You'd think so, but the map seems to love choosing my friends. I have nothing specific planned for today besides continued research into your condition. Next time, we should try the experiment Spike proposed."

Spike proposed? Ah, it came to me. "You'll have roses around?"

"Roses?" Twilight blinked.

I flashed my teeth a brief moment. "So I can strike a pose as I go."

"Oh!" Twilight burst into a giggle. "Yes, right. I'll get those before you arrive."

There was a knock at my door, but no delay before Kevin came in. "Linda, have a moment?"

I snapped my eyes over to him and swiveled my chair. "What's on your mind?"

He stepped briskly to my desk. "Sorry for barging in. It's not that critical. I was looking into what we'll need for the trip. He held his hands out. "We can get the huge one with plenty of room and it doesn't even need a special license. Have you driven anything that big before?"

I hadn't, and said as much, "No, but this feels sudden. Aren't we settled on that?"

The noise of an incoming mail, along with a little equine squeak, came from my computer.

Kevin was not deaf, alas. He glanced to the left, where my monitors were and caught a glimpse of a tail flipping off the screen. He smirked as if he had put it together. "You got one of those desktop buddies?"

A reasonable excuse, and one I took. "Oh, yes. Just a little program I installed, for fun."

I hoped that would set things over, but then, wouldn't you know it, Twilight peeked back in and looked around.

"Aw, cute," complimented Kevin. "Where'd you download it? Does it have the rest of the Mane 6? I have to have that."

I tensed faintly. "Oh, just something somebody emailed me." I gave a hopefully convincing laugh. "No idea where it originally came from."

Twilight perked an ear between the both of us, watching.

"Does she look around randomly or what?" He reached for my webcam and gave it a prod. "Hello there, Twilight."

"Hello," replied Twilight.

He blinked, surprised a moment before his smile grew. "It's listening? That's fantastic! You're an amazing program, Twilight."

"Thank you," she replied as my chest pounded. "I am a program," she said in a not entirely convincing way. "Do you want me to check your email for you?"

"Uh... You can do that?"

"That is what programs do, isn't it? Oh! Do you want to 'surf'? The web is a fascinating place." Twilight bobbed her head.

He was getting suspicious. I had to act. "Well! I have to get back to work, Kevin, and so do you."

Kevin crouched down a little to be more even with the monitor. "Hold up. Where are you from?" The last he asked of Twilight.

Twilight pointed up at a text file that was sitting on my desktop. "I'm from here," she lied, badly.

He snorted. "Right... Who made you?

"Humans, of course." She nodded, looking confident in her reply.

Ugh, it was all going downhill, and quickly. "Kevin..."

He reached a foot behind himself and nudged the door closed. "Look, whatever you have here... I'm not here to bust you."

An exasperated sigh forced its way free. There was a good and growing chance Kevin would notice, eventually. He was going to live with me, for Christ's sake. "A secret is only assured with two people, you know the rest."

Kevin put up his hands quickly. "Woah, easy there, Linda. I'm not your enemy. And that... is actually Twilight?"

"I'm a program!" insisted Twilight, not seeming to quite grasp that the gig was thoroughly up.

I put a hand over Twilight's image as if that would help somehow. "It's complicated!"

"Tell me." He backed up a little. "I mean, not right now." He glanced through the blinded windows of my office. "We both have work to do, but, seriously, fill me in, maybe over lunch? I'm not here to rat you out, promise."

"Can I emphasize any harder how important you not talk to anyone, no matter how much of a friend they are?" I sank back into my chair, defeated. "If you want to meet Twilight, be good."

He made a boy scout salute, then fled.

Twilight put a hoof behind her head. "Sorry... I thought..."

"What were you thinking!?" I was angry, I admit it. "Why didn't you just stay off the screen once you were already off? I could have been in the clear."

She had the humility to dip her head. Her ears went down and her tail hung limp. She looked so miserable I couldn't stay angry at her, even if I was! I was so annoyed. I just couldn't keep scowling at her. "Look, it's..." I huffed. "It's too late to cry about now. What do you plan to do with another human that you can't actually meet?"

Twilight perked right up at that. "Oh! Will we meet properly then? Will I be allowed to ask him a few questions? Not that you haven't been anything but forthright, but a second opinion and perspective would be invaluable!"

I steepled my fingers and leaned towards the screen. "He will want to visit."

Twilight tilted her head. "He can't. It's not even possible at this time." She reached forward and tapped the monitor from the inside. "Computer monitors make poor mirror portals." She perked her ears suddenly. "Even if we had one of those tuned to your world, he'd become a pony if he came here."

I gave a slow blink at that. "Would he turn back when he went home?"

Twilight quickly nodded. "Mirror portals work both ways."

I gave a little chuckle at that. "I don't think he'd be that upset then, if it was only for a little while and he knew it."

It was time to explain some things... "So, you may not have noticed, but he recognized who you were right away."

"I meant to ask about that." Twilight sat on her haunches. "Did you tell him about me?"

"He's told me more about you than the other way around," I assured. "You exist here, in this world, as a fiction."

Twilight's big eyes gave the slowest blink. "Come again?"

I could have explained it to her, or... It was just a quick search later and soon she was staring with a combination of awe and horror as the first episode of the series played for her.

I let her do that as I got back to work. I had things to get done and, like most of my life, there was a time limit.

By the time the show was over, I hit send on the last email I could for the moment without a reply. "How'd you like it?"

Twilight looked like she was reeling. "It was... strangely accurate, and wildly off all at the same time. If his opinions of me and Equestria are fashioned solely off such productions, he's going to be in for a few surprises." She turned to face me instead of the inactive video. "Still, thank you, for showing it to me. About him, is he a good person?"

I shrugged a bit. "He's not a saint."

"What?"

"He's not perfect, but he's good, I think." I felt self-conscious on judging him. "He hasn't done wrong by me, and we'll be sharing a house in not very long, if you recall."

Twilight brightly smiled. "I do, and this is great! If he's aware of my presence and doesn't mind, then I can visit you in a less cluttered environment when you're not so busy."

I smiled faintly, Twilight's eagerness infecting me. "Speaking of that, I think it's time to get some lunch. You be good, Twilight."

"Until later, Linda." She faded away.

I rose up from my chair and headed for the door. There were things to do, lunch being high among them.

Author's Note

Kevin's part of the cool kids club now. Yay!

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26 - Coming Clean

Work was finally over. It had been a busy day with frustratingly little progress. Still, there was some progress. The pieces were as much in place as they could be for the time, and the office was closing up. Besides, I was tired and ready to go home.

And there was Kevin. He was just outside. "Hey, Linnie!" A little nickname there. "Let's get something to eat, maybe talk?"

Dinner sounded great, but... "Maybe it would be better if we actually ate at home, all things considered."

He looked disappointed a moment before he got it. "Oh! I'll meet you at your place, sure. Dinner's on me!"

We moved for our cars even as I waved it off. "We can split the bill, but thanks for the offer." I didn't feel right accepting that, considering I'd soon be charging him rent. "See you there."

A short jaunt across a bit of highway and we were at my house. I had the door open with a quick twist of the key and I waved him in.

Inside, he was already tapping at his phone. "I have an app for this."

That hardly seemed surprising. What wasn't there an app for? "Let's keep it simple." I sat on the easy chair and turned it slightly to face the sofa. "We have things to chat about."

Food was ordered, then he sat down across from me. "So... I've been thinking." His fingers remained still. He wasn't a stranger to communication, and he wasn't looking aimless or meandering with nervous fingers. "First, we're going to be around each other more, and I think trust is an important thing."

"Alright." I couldn't argue that, but it felt like a dead end.

"So... I didn't come in randomly." I raised a brow at him, and he continued. "I've heard you talking a few times. Your office is far from sound proofed. The others probably thought you were on a phone call, but I heard Twilight. I had to see what it was, so when I heard you chatting again today, I--"

"--You came rushing in," I finished for him with a little sigh. "I see." I frowned a little, but it eased away. None of what he had done was, inherently, a crime. Perhaps a touch rude, barging into my office, but there I was in clear violation of the rules. I had no real leg to stand on to be angry at him. "And now?"

He smiled. "Now I... get to meet Twilight? Can you call her, or does she just decide when she shows up? I mean, how'd you even meet her?!"

"The latter." I stood up and went for a glass of water. "It's complicated." I considered whether I should mention I visited pony land in my sleep, and decided against it, for the moment. "She comes when she wants to. She's very curious about our world and how it works."

"That is, pardon the French, fucking amazing." He stood up and followed after me, taking a glass as well. "You realize that makes you the ambassador between two entire worlds, right?"

Oh boy... "Let's not go down that road. She's not trying to open any grand--"

"Have you asked?" He tipped his glass at me. "You're so used to making what other people want done smoother."

I hadn't asked, but... "Even if she did, which I still doubt, what would I do with it, besides being laughed at?"

He went quiet a moment. "Can she come here?" he queried just before the doorbell rang.

The food had arrived. We paid up and sent the delivery man on his way. As I sat down in the dining room, I shook my head at Kevin. "So far as I know, no. Before you ask, that goes both ways. Twilight said without a mirror portal, whatever that is, it isn't happening."

"That's canon?" He raised a brow. "If they have those, can't they make one pointed in the right direction?"

I had no idea, and admitted as such. "What even is a mirror portal?"

So he told me. While he did so, he casually flipped on Equestria Girls on my TV, which had Netflix built in and ready to go.

So we watched some of that as we ate, and I had some idea of how Twilight saw people, though... "She mentioned the video she saw of her wasn't a hundred percent accurate."

He shrugged at that. "The fact that it's even recognizable is, itself, a miracle beyond calculating. So, yeah, there's a mirror portal. Pony goes in, human comes out, and vice versa. Everyone comes out looking right for the world they're going into." He put his fork down. "Sorry, but, really, this is happening?"

Kevin sounded excited, and I couldn't entirely blame him. "Let me repeat, no one. Not your best friend. Not your mother. Not your dog."

"I don't have one of those. I have a cat?"

"Don't tell them," I said harshly. "You've watched enough movies to know how it goes. You tell just one person, suddenly everyone knows. Can I trust you to handle this like a state secret?"

He gave the smallest nod. "Y-yeah, so... You just talk to her?"

I gave a smile at that. "I've met the others."

He slapped down a hand. "All of them?!"

I counted on my fingers as I went. "Well, Twilight, Spike, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash--"

"Jesus." He stood up. "Jesus Christ... Can... can I meet them too? They can all pop up on your monitor?"

I thought back quickly. "With Twilight's help. I can't make any promises for them, but we can ask Twilight, next time she visits. Look, for now, relax. I know that's basically the opposite of what you feel right now, but, really, relax. This will be a lot easier to tackle once we're settled in." Something bothered me. "Didn't you say you watched for your niece?"

"Ssssorta?" He gave a sheepish smile. "Don't get me wrong, I do watch with her, but maybe also without her? I like it, alright? Besides, this is real now!" He started cleaning up the clutter of dinner, one point for him. "Look, I'm serious. Like you said, I've seen enough movies. How about we both be adults and not mess this up the dozens of obvious ways we could mess it up, alright? She clearly knows and trusts you, so you're in charge. I just want the chance to be a part, that's all." He put the trash in the trash and the dishes in the sink. "No crazy blabbing or backstabbing."

That sounded comforting, but it didn't put it all to rest. There were too many variables. "So, in theory, let's say Twilight did get a mirror working. What then?" I rolled a hand at him. "We both have lives here. I don't plan to give mine up, and even implying we might have such a thing to the world will end that life quickly, possibly violently. So what would you even do with it?"

He lifted his shoulders a bit as he washed dishes, another little point for him. "Have the best vacations ever? Are they as cute in person? She looked a bit more like a horse than she did in the cartoons."

I almost blew my story. I caught myself. "That would require us being in the same room, instead of looking through a screen. You saw her. Besides, aren't they horses? She's just not a cartoon cutesy horse." A thought occurred. "Would you want to spend a weekend on hooves?"

"I think only a coward would say no to the chance to try it." He shrugged. "Not like I couldn't hop back to the human world when I was tired of being on all fours."

Only a coward? "I imagine a lot of people would hesitate before making that call. Having your body change is a classic horror trope for a reason. It's no small thing." I felt a little silly giving that speech, leading the double life I was leading. "What we see in the mirror is one of the anchors of our lives."

"Anchors are made for drawing up once in a while." He turned off the water and wiped his hands dry. "Look, we're doing that right now. I don't like it, but I'm doing it. We're leaving most of what I, at least, knew behind. Compared to that, a weekend of being a horse sounds charmingly novel."

I decided to stop grilling him about that part. It matched what I had predicted, by and large. "Kevin... Let's do this smart."

He smiled at that. "I plan to. Thank you, Linda, for not freaking out. I want to be a part of this, a good part, promise." He tossed the towel he had used into the laundry basket. "So, boss, what's next?"

What was next... That was a great question. "Right now, nothing. You go home. I stay home. This gets paused until we do the move. We successfully relocate, and Twilight will probably come to visit at our new home. That's likely the best time for you two to meet, and we can plan from there."

"Right!" He thrust a hand at me and gave a firm shake when I met it. "It's a plan. I will pretend nothing is happening until then, even if I'm freaking out a little on the inside. Just promise me we will handle this, and I'll keep myself waiting until then, okay?"

"Okay." I let out a little breath and smiled. "I bet this wasn't what you were expecting to be a part of."

"Not complaining." He held up a hand. "Only the waiting part, but not complaining. I'll do right by you, and Twilight." Suddenly he was hugging me. It was a firm hug, and his hands never went to places deserving of a slap. "Thank you!" He released me just as quickly, thankfully. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

We said our goodbyes and off he went, practically bouncing in his steps. He was excited, and there was plenty of reason to be. I couldn't blame him for that. I just hoped he would keep his word and we wouldn't fall for the obvious pitfalls along the way.

"Is he gone?"

I spun to see Twilight on my television screen, looking at me and glancing towards the door. "I didn't want to interrupt your meeting."

I closed the door and locked the deadbolt just to be sure. "I didn't expect you here."

"I thought I'd try, but I did it while standing away from the pool, so my reflection wouldn't immediately show." Twilight came closer, dominating the screen. "This one feels different. Is this a computer?" She reached forward and tinked on the inside of my LCD.

"It's about the same thing, just not connected to a computer," I assured.

"I was wondering why the moving picture seemed to dominate the screen. You normally had it in a corner while you were drafting your correspondence. Was the meeting successful?"

I caught Twilight up on things as I tidied up and prepared for winding down and bed. "I'll see you in person, Twilight."

"Looking forward to it." She faded away.

Author's Note

Mysteries illuminated, and the plot proceeds!

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28 - Business Affairs

In the human world, I was keeping things straight. I was putting all my affairs in order to be able to leave my house with confidence. The power and other utilities would be cut off until someone else needed them. The moving van was booked and would be ready to go on that fateful day. I was getting work done, and talking to Twilight sometimes, but, mostly, it was a waiting game.

"Linda, big news," it was my boss. "Paperwork just went through. You're clear to go. Anything else standing in the way?"

His tone told me that he was not ready to accept 'yes' as an answer, but that wouldn't be an issue. I smiled gently. "I've put everything in order. We have a move date planned and we'll be over there and ready to work."

"You're moving with Kevin? Huh, guess that works. You two getting along better now?" He suddenly waved it all away. "Nevermind that, none of my business. Great work on the Samson case. We should be able to close that before you even go." He turned to go. "I'll email you the address of the new branch, but that's for your eyes only, oh, Kevin will get one too."

I was alone, and got back to work. The email showed up and I quickly google mapped the address. It seemed a perfectly fine spot, and it didn't seem like getting from my new home to there would be too arduous for a daily trek, which was fantastic! I read somewhere that commuting is where the average American gets most of their stress in the average day. I wouldn't be one of those.

That night, I burst free of my statue to find Twilight smiling at me, with Applejack just beside her.

Applejack tipped her head. "Howdy. Don't mean to ambush ya just as yer wakin' up n' all, but ah hear ya want the full report on what it's like t' be a farmer."

I shook the rock flakes off of me. "Not exactly that. I wanted to learn about commerce in Equestria. Twilight suggest I learn about the source of goods, say your farm, the running of a retail outlet, and what it's like to be a worker."

Twilight quickly nodded. "That's a fair summary. I was just asking Applejack about it and you woke up."

What timing! "Well, I don't want to impose, but if you can, that'd be appreciated."

"T'ain't nothin'," assured Applejack, trotting past me towards the door. "Let's git on over to th' farm and ah'll show ya around and go over th' basics." She looked over her shoulders. "Ya look strong enough, fer a unicorn. One rule, no magic. Yer gonna be helping the earth pony way."

I hadn't realized I had signed up to help at all. With an awkward smile, I trotted after her. We came down from the castle, through the town of Ponyville, and onwards towards her farm. There were apples everywhere, and some other things.

"This here's the pig pen!" She gestured at it as we walked past it.

What did ponies need with pigs? I had to know. "So, pigs? What do you do with them?"

"With them?" She turned to face me. "Feed 'em, wash 'em. Take care of 'em, really."

I blinked softly. "Why?"

"Someone's gotta," she replied with a nod. "What else would they do?"

I looked back at the pigs, then back at Applejack. I was baffled. "Can they talk?"

Applejack looked like I had asked if the sun had big ears. "Say what now? No of course they can't talk none, 'less yer Fluttershy. She can talk ta critters just fine. Now, don't get me wrong. They're right smart, but they don't talk none."

"So... it's just an act of charity then? It doesn't help your farm make more money?"

"Mostly." Applejack nodded. "A tradition running back to the forming of Ponyville! We're big on tradition 'round these parts. Now let's get a move on. Already took care of 'em earlier, so we don't gotsa worry 'bout them right now." She turned away from the pigs and got to trotting and I fell in behind her. "Now our main crop, as you may'a guessed, is apples." She waved a hoof around at all the apple trees that surrounded us in nearly every direction. "Here, try one." She lashed out a hind hoof and seemed to just tap a tree.

A single apple feel free and with a whip of her hat, Applejack caught it easily, then slung it towards me. I caught it with my magic and pulled it in close. It smelled like the very definition of apple. It had a bit of sourness around it, just a little tang. I sank my teeth in with a loud crunch and relaxed a little as delicious apple flavor filled my mouth. It was just right. Not too sweet, not too sour.

Applejack smiled at my reaction. "Good, ain't it? Hadda feelin' ya were a sweet n' sour type."

I took another bite before asking, "You have different kinds of apples?"

"Sure do." She bobbed her head. "These sweet and sours are no good for cider, f'instance. We have different orchards for different kinds of apples. Some are really good fer pies, f'instance."

I looked around curiously in the wonderland of apples. "How many ponies do you have working these fields?"

Applejack lifted her shoulders, an act a real horse could not accomplish. "Most of th' time, it's just me n' Big Mac, though Granny helps where she can, and Apple Bloom is gettin' better at it. She's still a youngin', 'course, but she's bein' responsible."

So many trees! "You can handle this with two ponies?!"

"Well, if it's a really good year, we call the family fer help. The Apple Family's mighty big." She wagged her brows at me. "We're a traditional earth pony family, so we tend to be fruitful." She waved at the closest tree. "Get it?"

I did get it, and colored faintly at the images the joke conjured. "Big Mac's your..."

"Brotha. Apple Bloom is mah sister. Granny's, well, she's Granny. It's right in th' name."

For a moment I thought Big Mac and Applejack were married, and Apple Bloom could have been their daughter. "Where are--" Even as I asked it, I realized I was walking right onto a minefield. "I mean, where do you make that cider you mentioned?"

Applejack brightened right up. "We keep th' supplies tucked away fer cider season, make it up nice n' fresh for everypony. It's one of our busiest times ah th' year and where we make a lot of our bits." She led the way towards a barn and headed right on inside.

There I encountered another surprising thing. Cows. It got worse when one of them smiled at them quite plainly. "Well helloooo there," she said, drawing out the 'oo' at me.

Applejack tipped her head. "Howdy, Mooriella."

Mooriella was looking at me specifically, her eyes moving up to my horn and fixating there. "Mornin'. Did you bring him to help us?"

Applejack blinked. "Huh, didn't think a' that, but that ain't a bad idea. How'd you like to help milk the cows?"

Oh the expression I must have had. I was going to milk a cow intelligent enough to talk?! "Is... that proper?"

Mooriella leaned over the side of her stall. "Proper? I'm ready t' burst, dear. The bucket's right over there. I hear unicorns can do it gently."

The other cows were taking notice and gossiping among themselves. It seemed they all wanted to try being milked by a unicorn.

Applejack grabbed the bucket and held it out towards me. "Well, sounds like they're set on it. Ya can use yer horn, jus' no magic magic, ya get?"

I gave a stiff nod as I picked up the bucket with a thought, hovering it in the air. "I'll do my... best." I did not plan to do that. I had no intention of milking anything that could ask me to, or not to. And yet, there I was. Applejack opened the stall and Mooriella walked out peacefully.

"Be gentle," she reminded, tail flicking.

That phrasing! There was nothing about the entire situation that didn't make my blush all the worse. It wasn't as if I didn't know where milk came from. I took a little breath and tried to calm down. So it was a talking cow, so what? She wanted to be milked, and I could do the milking. I knew how it worked, in theory. I just had to stop being a baby about it and get it done.

I slid the pail into position and sat beside Mooriella and the bucket. I imagined grabbing her teats and giving a gentle squeeze and pull, like I'd seen on television enough times. She gave a sharp moo! in reply and my mental hands yanked away. "No, sorry, you just surprised me," she assured. "That feels very different from when Applejack or Big Mac does it."

Applejack looked like she was holding in laughter. "Don't be scared none. If they ain't happy, they'll say so, jus' listen."

Right, talking cows, they would say something... I reached for her with my magic and gave another little pull at just one that time, and some milk squirted out. I had done it! I pulled at the one beside it, then the third and the fourth and soon got a little pattern going that was filling the pail steadily.

Mooriella had a happy look on her face and her eyes were closed as she swayed faintly in time to the milking. She was clearly having a good time. I wondered just how good it was for her, but I wasn't going to ask. I focused on getting the job done and kept right on going until the flow of milk slowed.

"All done," declared Mooriella before I could. "Thank you, dearie. You're good at this."

Applejack grabbed the pail's handle in her mouth and pulled it away. "Go on back inside." Mooriella walked back in and the door was closed before Applejack moved to dump the bucket into a large bin where I could here it splashing against other milk perhaps? "We'll sell this later t'day down at th' market." She pointed to the next cow in line. "Git to it."

The initial shock of milking a talking cow had worn its course, and I got to the next one without issue, and the one after that. As I produced pail after pail of milk, I asked, "So, these make more sense. You help the cows in trade for their milk, right?"

"Somethin' like that." Applejack nodded. "Seems a fair trade t' me, and we've been doin' it fer ages. It works for us Apples, it works for the cows."

With all the cows handled, we were able to mercifully proceed. She showed me the cider making equipment, the apple bins, and she kept me busy. As many facts and figures as I could get, she made me pay by bucking trees (I had no hope of doing it as well as she did) and pulling carts (that seemed so much lighter when she was doing it) and generally slaving the day away on the farm.

By the time the sun grew heavy and Applejack called it quitting time, my body was on fire with the aches of a day's efforts in a body not nearly accustomed to such extended labor.

I was ready to limp my way home to Twilight, but that wasn't happening.

"Ya plumb crazy. Ain't no one puttin' in a full day ah work and not gettin' somethin' for it. It's time t' enjoy Granny's homemade cookin' and ah swear ya won't be sorry fer it." She swatted me on the back and led me along.

So I had food. It was good food. My god! Why was all the food in Equestria so darn good? I made sure to thank Grandma Smith and say hello to Big Mac and Apple Bloom, and it was a pleasant dinner all and all.

A day well spent.

Author's Note

A day down at the farm! And True learns that the cows seem quite happy to have a unicorn around. That's... good, right?

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29 - Moving Day!

The day had arrived! My car was scheduled to be picked up and carried off to our new house, so I couldn't take it with me, so I ended up summoning a taxi with one of those new apps, Luber or Ubyft or whatever it was. I was dropped off at the U-haul and with a swipe of the credit card and a few signed forms, I was allowed to step aboard the massive van.

Did I mention it was large? Because it was! I never drove something so large before, so I took it nice and easy and soon coaxed it out onto the highway. I drove over to Kevin's to find he had moved a lot out of his house and was piling it out front. When I drove up, he waved eagerly.

I hopped down and joined him. "Taking half the house?" I teased.

He snorted light-heartedly. "I wish. This is most of it. Pop open the back and get down the ramp and we'll start loading up. Did you get your stuff or are we heading there next?" He moved around the back of the van and spotted the trailer hooked up there. "Ah, right, gotta get my car up on this."

We worked together and got the trailer unhooked and separated so we could bring down the ramp and start loading things.

It took some work, but I felt oddly energetic through the whole thing. That related to another odd thing. After that day I had slaved for Applejack, I woke up physically sore. Sure, I was mentally there and didn't feel 'tired', but I was sore. There I was, picking things up and moving them that I was fairly certain I would have been complaining about before ponies came into my life.

It wasn't as if I had become a weight-lifter or athlete. It was just that I could do it without huffing and puffing like a woman my age who didn't exercise nearly enough should have been doing.

We got all his things loaded up, closed the door and rolled up the ramp. Even as I worked to get the truck and the trailer back together, Kevin was gazing at his house. "Gonna miss it, huh?" I had a feeling that was what it was. "Need a minute?"

Kevin drew a deep breath. "It was my parents' money that got me in here. They covered the first and the last, and they co-signed way back when, when my credit wasn't so hot." He smiled a little. "College, ya know?" He turned from the house. "Sorry, just being emotional. We got stuff to do. You want me to take the wheel back to your house?"

I took him up on his offer and slid up into the passenger seat. Soon we were off.

Loading my things took longer. I had more things, and I wasn't pre-moving before anyone got there. We moved furniture, my computer, television, and all other matter of things out one at a time until we had that poor van practically full of things. I might be losing a house. "--But I'm not losing my things," I finished out loud. "We have the map up?"

Kevin flipped out his phone and pressed a few buttons before a cheerful British voice started giving directions. He pulled a wire out of a pocket and connected it to the phone. "Have battery, will roll. It'll help avoid traffic along the way too. I didn't have one of those chargers that connects to the car."

That was a good idea. "If we see one at a truck stop," I suggested as we loaded ourselves into the truck. It was time to go.

Our grand little adventure had begun. It had a lot less manticores and crazed dragon chickens than Equestria could offer, but there we were, leaving our roots behind to find a better life in the grand unknown. It was an adventure, and I was content to have it.

While I was busy giving myself a silent talking up, it seemed Kevin was going the other way. I could see he was bottling it up and trying to not show any of it. If not for my True vision, I was fairly certain I would have missed the tells. "Can we pull in to use the next restroom?" I asked, though I had no need for it.

He made an affirmative noise and soon we had pulled in beside a gas station, but I didn't hop out. Instead I put a hand on one of his. "It's alright to be upset."

He tensed.

"It's also alright to have feelings. You don't have to turn in your man card."

A smile came at that. "You're too good, Linda." He flopped back in his seat. "It's just all hitting me at once, and I feel stupid for feeling bad in the first place. I'm an adult. Adults move sometimes."

"But not always so far," I argued. "It's not a crime to feel off. Look, let's trade spots and you can just... feel for a while. Don't bottle it up like it'll go away if you ignore it."

So we did that, and I was in the driver seat, making the van push forwards. "So, what's our first stop?"

He started, then a little smile came. "Oh shit, I almost forgot the plan." He swept a finger over his phone. "The first one's still a few hours out." The phone cheerfully started giving new directions. "Locked in. I think you'll like it."

Thinking about our first stop seemed to bring him around, and his energy improved dramatically, just to take a sudden twist. "Linda, thank you, again."

"Hmm?"

"About the whole Twilight thing. I know you don't have that much reason to confide in me. So, thanks."

I gave a bit of a smile in kind but kept my eyes on the road. "You got yourself in, don't forget. What was my other option, really? Pretend you were crazy so you'd look harder? Let's be adults about this."

"Right, adults." He shrugged a bit. "Maybe it just doesn't even occur to you as an option, but there were a lot of things you could have done, starting with just getting me thrown out onto the street, as if the boss wouldn't side with you in an instant if a choice had to be made."

It was true, I could probably have done that and gotten away with it cleanly. "But you don't deserve that, and that would have been wrong to do in the first place."

He nodded at that. "See, you're too good, so, thanks, really."

"Is this a bad time?" Twilight was on the windshield, looking between the two of us. "Hello, Kevin, Linda."

My fingers clenched at the wheel to keep it straight despite the surprise. "While driving is not the ideal time--"

"--Hey Twilight!" Kevin wriggled a few fingers. "Jesus, wow... It's really you."

"I am me," she agreed, nodding. "Where am I, speaking of?" She glanced left and right. "Are we moving?"

Kevin and Twilight chatted quite happily. She grilled him for information on how cars worked and strange minutiae on how the highways worked, and he asked about her, magic, and the other ponies.

Twilight's horn glowed and Kevin's phone lifted from his lap. "And this, I've seen these before. It's a portable phone and computer, is it not?" She ran her magic across it, but couldn't activate it, which seemed to bother her a little. "It only reacts to fingers, not magic, or hooves. I've tried before."

Kevin could not look happier, even if his phone was half-stolen. "Here, let me." He took the phone back from her grip and had it on in short order.

Twilight leaned towards the 'camera', taking up more of the windshield. "Is that a moving map? How ingenious! How do you ever claim to not have magic is beyond my understanding. You live in a world packed with it in every direction!"

"Twilight, dear." I gave a forced smile. "It is against the law to take up the windshield while a vehicle is in motion."

She started in shock, ears perking right up. "Oh! I'm so sorry!" She fled off 'camera'. "Is this better?"

I let out a breath. "Much."

Kevin tapped his phone. "We should take a little break. Is there some way we can tell you when we're available?"

Twilight paused. "I've been considering that, but nothing concrete, yet. Have fun, and I'll see you later, Linda."

The hazy view of nothing blinked away, it was clear.

"Later?" asked Kevin. "Take the next exit, but what did she mean by that?"

Ah shoot...

Author's Note

It's GAR--MOVING DAY!

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30 - Toy Museum

I stepped down from the van and looked at where we had landed. A toy museum? I smirked a little. "Are you making fun of me?"

"I'm making fun of both of us," he assured. "Shall we take a peek at the ancestors of the ponies?" He waved the way.

I was happy he wasn't prying more, at least at that moment, and we headed inside.

There were all manner of toys already spread out in glass cases to see before we even got into the exhibits properly. It was like a child's wonderland just at the register to get in. I produced a credit card and paid for both of us.

"Don't forget to visit the gift shop," encouraged the thin man at the register with a fake smile. It was clearly a job to him, and maybe one he wasn't entirely invested in. Either way, I nodded at him and moved past, Kevin beside me.

It wasn't the busiest place, which gave us plenty of room to roam freely from one display to the next. It was charming and amusing. I wasn't ever really the biggest toy person around.

Then we found the pony room.

It had ponies from their first appearance as strangely uncanny valley horses to their more modern appearances, generation by generation. There was Twilight Sparkle, wings unfurled and head held high. "It isn't exactly right," I groused a little as I looked over her toy form. "But what toy ever is?"

Kevin nodded in agreement. "The, uh..." He glanced around, likely to see who was around. "Real one, you know, she's a little more horsey. Closer to gen one." He pointed at the uncanny valley horses. "Without being so odd looking, or pudgy."

"Gen one?" I raised a brow. "You're really into this, aren't you?"

He colored a little. "And you aren't?"

"I was dragged in, kicking and screaming." I said in placid tones. "I'm serious. I was a mess at first, but I've gotten used to it."

"Enough to enjoy little chit-chats with the princess during work hours?" He inclined his head at me.

"Enough for that," I agreed with a smile. "She's an excellent grammar and spelling check."

"Your own magical editor?" He crouched down to peer at some of the others. "If she can do, you know--" He glanced again. "I'll save it for later."

Our conversation would probably sound odd on any security camera, though with us literally fleeing the state, I doubted much would come of it. Still, better safe, right? I let the discussion die quietly and we moved from the horse room on to the Lego room and beyond. It was charming, but not specifically for me. I didn't regret the peek though. "I wouldn't have come here."

Kevin blinked. "Upset?"

"No, the opposite." I smiled. "Thanks for suggesting it. I would have drove right on by without a thought." The way out was, of course, through the gift shop. I spotted an adorably chibi keychain of Princess Celestia and I didn't resist it. I snatched it up and plunked it down on the counter.

Kevin blinked. "She really is your favorite, huh?"

I gave a wee smile as I extracted her from her prison of cardboard and plastic and soon had her added to my key ring. "Thank you," I said to the cashier, and off we went. We hopped back into the moving van and got back on the road. We had many hours ahead of us before we'd be at our new home.

"So," started Kevin as we went. "About Twilight. Was she being coy? Do you two meet up a lot more often?"

"Yes," I replied truthfully. I still wasn't sure I wanted to get into my visits to Equestria. "I consider her a good friend, even if we're still learning about each other."

He made a little gesture at my new keyring ornament, "Have you met her? I assume you have."

"Yes." I saw no reason to lie about that. "She's a very..." I trailed off, suddenly unsure of which word to use. "Remarkable? Motherly, mischevious, cunning... wonderful, pretty--"

"She really did make an impact," he cut in with a smile. "Pretty though? I mean, they're adorable, but still, horses, right?"

Oh, there was a minefield. If he saw them as utterly alien, then any talk of any amount of attraction would be deviant by far, at best. I didn't feel up to traversing it. "The way her mane does that colorful swaying thing? It's very pretty."

"Oh! Yeah." That seemed to disarm the situation nicely. "Does it look even better, you know, in real life instead of a cartoon?"

"It does," I agreed. "You can see every shade of the rising and setting sun in it. It's like it's changing. I'm not sure if it's based on her mood or something else. It's subtle, but there, and amazing."

He took a breath of obvious awe at the very idea of it. "How often does she visit?"

"Basically never," I replied truthfully. "Twilight's the one that's burning with curiosity about our world."

"So, uh." He rubbed behind his head. "Sorry. I'm sure you want to talk about more than just this pony stuff. What are you looking forward to in California?"

So we began to talk about where next we'd be, and visited another little tourist trap along the way. As comfortable as a plane, no, but it was enjoyable for other reasons. The day went past amiably and I found myself not regretting the time spent. Getting to know Kevin wasn't the worst thing I could do, and he seemed like a decent person.

It was getting late though, and we were both tired. He spotted a motel and we pulled up to it. We got a room, with two beds of course, and got ready to recharge for the next day. There was plenty of driving left to do.

The feel of cool stone had become quite comforting, but I heard talking going on. It was too far away for me to hear the words, and curiosity demanded I break free. Shaking the bits of stone to the ground, I trotted through the castle to the map room where Twilight and her friends were gathered.

Rarity shook her head. "Honestly, darling. They were asking for help learning about Equestria economics and you made him your errand boy for the day?"

"It weren't nothin' like that! I taught him plenty o' things, and he was fine good at playin' a part too." She puffed up proudly. "He's rugged enough fer a unicorn."

Rarity rolled a hoof. "And how is that going to help him make use of his talents? He's a matchmaker, darling, not a farmer. He needs to have an office, or even better, a little store!"

Fluttershy had spotted me entering and pointed, drawing the eyes of the others.

Twilight smiled brightly. "Ah! Welcome back."

"Good to be back," I replied. "Thank you for the information, Applejack." Sure, it had involved a lot more work than I planned, but I did get some information out of it. I looked to Rarity. "Are we next?"

She smiled radiantly and was about to speak when Pinkie dropped out of nowhere between us. "Oooo Oooo Me Me Me! I'll show you all kinds of things, and you won't have to cart around any barrels of apples, Pinkie Promise." She made an odd gesture with her hoof, ending with poking herself in the eye. "You'll have tons of fun!"

Twilight cleared her throat loudly enough to draw eyes. "While I appreciate that both of you are eager to--"

"Hey, why didn't you ask me?!" questioned an irate Rainbow Dash."It isn't like I never touched a bit before or anything."

Twilight raised a brow. "Do you want to be a teacher?"

"Well, no... Still! You should have at least asked." She crossed her forehooves and slumped down with a pout.

Rarity sat up, a hoof at her chest. "Well it hardly seems like a question. Our handsome stallion here wishes to share his talent with the world, and he won't do that by laboring in the fields--" She glanced at Applejack. "--or working for somepony else." She looked to Pinkie pointedly. "No, what he has needs his own space, and privacy for himself and his potential clients. True Shot needs lessons in procuring such a place, advertising his business, and other such things that neither of you are experienced with."

"Hey," pouted out Pinkie. "I'm good at advertising..."

Rarity raised a fine brow. "Have you forgotten what occurred when we were trying to assist that darling little eatery in Canterlot?"

Applejack took off her hat just to cover her chest with it. "Now see here, sugarcube. While ah don't argue none that what ya have to share is the most specific to what he's gonna do, there ain't no harm and a lot t'be gained by learnin' more. Let him see it from all sides."

Pinkie slid up beside me as if she had been part of the floor a moment earlier. I started with surprise and fell back half a step, but she followed easily. "Just a day. It'll be tons of fun and you'll learn stuff and then Rarity can do her thing, promise."

There was a brief window of opportunity and I took it. "Pinkie, thank you. I know how to bake, but I was--"

"You do!?" She looked joyous at the news. "That's great. You're gonna have the best time ever!" She grabbed for one of my forelegs and pulled me right off of them, flopping to the ground. "No laying down on the job, silly."

Rarity's horn glowed and Pinkie was removed a few feet. "I think True has made his desires clear. If he wishes to join you after I show him what he needs to know, he'll inform you."

Pinkie pouted, but the argument died.

Twilight nodded. "I'm glad that's settled. Now then, we have a diplomatic meeting--" There was a groan around the table. Twilight frowned a bit. "We are public figures and we have a job to do, for Equestria. The Diamond dogs near Manehatten are asking to speak and we're to give them that audience."

"Excuse me," came a small voice. Fluttershy was next to me as I sat up. "You know... you don't have to go into business."

I blinked at her. "I don't want to be a pony on welfare."

"Welfare?" She looked baffled at the term. "You could just help ponies. You'd get enough bits to survive without having to ask anypony for payment. It's much less... stressful."

Rarity heard our conversation and snorted. "Fluttershy, darling, I don't think True Shot here is as afraid of any minor amount of conflict. He's as eager as I am to be paid a fair price for a fair service."

I nodded towards Rarity. "I don't want to rely on the Equestrian government to live, especially not when I have a marketable skill waiting to be used." Part of me really wanted to poke ponies with arrows, so hey, a bonus, right?

Fluttershy melted at our opposition. "O-oh, well, I... just wanted to make sure you knew."

Author's Note

Day one of the moving adventure, complete!

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31 - A Generous Lesson

Rarity led me out of the castle, heading back towards town. "Now that those distractions are out of the way for a moment," she practically sang, "We can get right to business!"

And that's when she began to literally sing. For sake of simplicity, I won't try to write out the exact patterns and rhymes that were used, since I don't even remember them at this point. Just bear in mind that she was singing the whole thing, even going so far as to produce illusions at the right time. Other ponies even hopped in as needed to join in.

It was bizarre, if charming in a strange way. You'll just have to use your imagination on that one.

"Now the most important thing to consider is location!" She glanced at me out of the side of her eyes. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, you already have inroads in Canterlot. Twilight tells me that you'll even be headed back there after this visit. Now, I imagine you're a little scared, darling, but don't be!" She waved a hoof at her store.

"Now this is my place of creation, the start of my empire! Here, cradled in the safe bosom of Ponyville it grew quietly until it was ready to explode across Equestria!" I could see from the smile on her face and the manic tone in her voice that she was quite proud of her accomplishments. "You wouldn't think it, but if you keep your eyes on the prize and never stop reaching, anything is possible, dear."

I tried to ask how she bought the land, but the song had no room for non-musical little me.

"As a fine provider of a unique good, you must remember to value yourself." She circled around in front of me. "Nopony else can do exactly what you do! You are not 'one of many', and you shouldn't feel bad assigning a price appropriate with that fact." The song took a detour as she sang about how there were many farmers that could grow fruits. She even pointed out other Ponyville citizens with various plants on their flanks. One of them, with a carrot cutie mark, stuck out her tongue and snuck in a little reprise about not being so caught up about it.

"Don't mind them, darling. They're jealous of our burning talents." She flashed a bright smile and danced onward. She began going over how to order supplies, how to manage one's books, and how to contact local media outlets to advertise events, including, "Opening your store!" She sang that part. She sang all the parts, but that part was long and melodic.

It was the most catchy catch-up I'd heard to commerce in a while. I tried again to ask about the real estate.

"Glad you asked. Right this way!" And onward we went, her singing the path forward towards the center of the town and the largish building, at least compared to those around it, resided.

A distinguished mare with white hair was there to greet us and joined in the song without any prompting. It was magic, pony magic. They began to go in a chorus about how real estate worked in Equestria, which seemed fairly simple. Provided no one else was occupying a space, one could pay with bits, fill out the form, and take up proper residence there. If one moved on and wasn't making active use of the land, it could slide back into availability should someone else come asking for it, so the idea of owning land 'just' to own it didn't seem to really be as much a 'thing' for ponies.

"What about renting space in a larger building?"

On the song went, but it wasn't as long or grandiose. It seemed renting was, by and large, unregulated. Ponies just made deals among themselves and that was that.

"What if someone wasn't treating their tenant well?"

The song suddenly stopped. Every single pony in sight seemed baffled at my question.

Rarity leaned in close. "How do you not treat a tenant 'well'?" That wasn't a song. I had ruined the tempo thoroughly.

I gestured upwards with a hoof. "What if there are leaks that need to be fixed, and the landlord or lady is slow about doing it?"

Rarity tilted her head slowly. "Why wouldn't you just fix it yourself, darling, or get somepony else to do it?"

Mayor Mare regained her smile. "It is true that, in some districts, a pony renting their property to another has specific responsibilities. In most, renting a property is just like borrowing someone's furniture. If it gets a break while you're borrowing it, it's considered your responsibility, not theirs, to repair it. Now, you could make arrangements with the pony in question while you're making the initial agreement, but that would be between the two of you, not a matter for legalities."

Being a landlord in Equestria sounded like the easiest thing in the world! "Why don't more ponies just rent out their land if it's so easy?"

Rarity had that one. "That's simple, darling. If it's a single family residence, then you aren't really using the property. Rent it out for too long and that family could just lay claim to the whole thing, pfft, like that. If it's a large thing, well, for one ponies from a place like here--" She gestured out at Ponyville. "They'd not appreciate being so cramped, so there's no market here. In Canterlot or Manehattan or any other such true metropolis, that does happen. Of course, should a pony let their building fall apart, less ponies will want to live there, so some upkeep is required of the landowner if they want a good return on their investment."

I shook my head. Most of that wouldn't be directly useful to me, except possibly renting land. I had learned don't expect much from the landlord/lady. It was basically my space, for better or worse, to be returned in good condition when I left.

"So what is the equivalent of the town hall here in Canterlot?"

Mayor Mare gestured up at the city on the mountain. "The castle, of course. I'm told it can be quite daunting, but there are countless government offices squirreled away in there, waiting to be consulted."

Rarity trotted past me towards the door. "I'd like you to meet two lovely friends of mine that run a business closer to what you have in mind."

My brows raised together. "Huh? Who?" I was following her along as she walked.

"Oh, you'll love them, and we can relax after that busy day of learning. Why, I think they'll just eat you up!"

I silently hoped that was a play on words. "What sort of business do they run?"

Rarity gestured dramatically. "A spa!" There it was. It was a somewhat conical and pointed building, with multiple points. The sign showed a pony with eyes closed and mane and tail as flowing as Celestia's ever could be.

"A royal treatment?" I ventured from the similarity between the pony and their rulers.

"Exactly! Welcome to Ponyville Day Spa! Why, it's one of my favorite places." She trotted on inside with a little titter. "Aloe!" she cried on seeing a pony at the front desk.

The pink pony with deep blue mane and tail came out to greet her. "Rarity!" she returned with equal zeal and they hugged fondly. "Welcome! And who is this?" She leaned to look past Rarity towards me. "Have you finally found the stallion to steal your heart away?"

Rarity colored at the implication. "Nothing so... romantic dear. Aloe, meet True Shot. He's a celebrity from Canterlot, looking for a nice relaxing time, and some advice about his own business."

Aloe trotted past Rarity towards me. "Hello and welcome. I am Aloe. My sister and I run this spa."

"I help!" A white pony poked his beefy head out of a doorway a moment before sliding back out of sight.

Aloe's expression turned wry a moment. "He does. Now, are we going for the full treatment today?"

"I couldn't imagine any less for us," agreed Rarity with a firm nod. "While you're at it, you can tell True here how you handle your clients. He wants to be a matchmaker and relationship counselor."

Aloe's eyes widened, lashes fluttering. "Oh how delightful! This way."

And so began my luxuriating spa treatment. She told me about how she tried to tailor the experience to each pony, and some of the tells she employed to see how stressed a given pony might be. "Mostly, you have to always have your eyes open and your ears pricked. Your clients will tell you what's wrong, but not always in the most direct way."

The massage was delightful, and strange. Muscles that were still new to me were singing happy songs of relaxation and I felt almost drowned in the alien symphony even as I melted into the massaging table.

"What a classic figure you have," she complimented, even if it was a compliment I'd heard many times before. "Mmm, what's this?" Her talented hooves gently rubbed around my horn. "Have you been doing a lot of magic?"

"Relatively?" I was still learning the basics.

"Now you'll need to trust me. Do you trust me?" She looked into my eyes with her bright blue ones. I nodded and she smiled. "This will feel strange, but good in the end." She pressed her hooves against either side of my horn and pushed, hard. It hurt like hell a moment but then something popped.

I woke up in bed, starting straight up. It was still quite dark.

I slowly laid back down, trying to calm myself. A glance at the clock showed there were several hours yet in the evening, or morning. I needed that sleep. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I started counting my breaths and heartbeats like I had read to get into a good pattern. Slowly the world began to slip away.

"I don't know what happened!" said a panicked Aloe.

"We can't show this to Rarity," came a similar but different voice.

I burst free of my new shell, making both mares shriek in surprise. They were twins? Aloe was pink with blue mane and tail. The other was blue with pink mane and tail. Both had blue eyes and both were traumatized. I put out a hoof. "Calm down, please. I'm alright. I should have mentioned that earlier, but that happens when I'm not awake."

Aloe shook her head quickly. "I... see... are you feeling better?"

Given a moment to consider it, I did. A tension I hadn't noticed before was gone in my head. It was like a mild headache had been abated. "I do, thank you." I settled on the table as the other pony began brushing the stone away.

"Hello, I am Lotus, Aloe's partner," she explained as she worked.

Aloe nodded. "Get back to Rarity, she's likely wondering where you've gone."

Lotus nodded. "Good luck with him." She trotted off and away.

Aloe flashed a grin. "That isn't the first time I've made a stallion as hard as rock, just never so literally." She brushed the last bits of stone away. "Now where were we... Ah yes! Trouble clients. If a pony becomes loud and belligerent, remember that it is your business, not theirs, but it is also your reputation that makes you. If at all possible, you want a customer to leave with a smile, but there always comes a time--" As she spoke, she got back to her soft massaging, relaxing me into a soupy mess at her skilled touches. "You have to learn where that line is. It will take time and practice, just keep an eye out for it and be prepared."

I appreciated her attention, and her advice. I considered visiting her again if there was time while I was in Ponyville.

Author's Note

Nothing like surrendering to the bliss of Ponyville Day Spa.

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32 - On the Road Again

We got ready for a new day. I felt like a million dollars. Did massages translate over, or maybe just being so relaxed? Either way, I felt limber and stress-free as I practically bounced towards the van.

Kevin had a bit of a smile as he followed. "Travelling really agrees with you. Those beds weren't that comfortable, were they?"

Shoot. "I'm just keeping a positive spirit about the whole thing."

"You're succeeding. You can have the first driving shift." He hopped up into the passenger seat. "I'll navigate us towards some breakfast before we put in the major miles."

I took my place without complaint. "I'm in the mood for eggs." I smoothly pulled the van out of the parking lot and our great journey continued.

We admired a cave to break up the monotony, and it was a sizable one. I hadn't ever visited one like it and admired the colors on display in the various minerals in the wall. We got to disobey any diet we were on with road food provided as we went, but such trips were not the time to be completely strict about such things.

I was in stone. I had fallen asleep while Kevin was driving along. I heard a soft bell, then a sort of fwoosh I'd learned to associate with magic.

"Did it work?" came a muffled female voice. It was Starlight. "True? Are you awake?" She rapped on my head and broke right through the stone.

There was no point not breaking free, so I shook off the rest of the rock to see I was seated beneath a bell with wires running down to a pedestal I had been placed on. "You can tell when I wake up?"

"Twilight and I thought it up," said Starlight with some pride. "It's not nearly as complex as you likely think. We just used our heads. Ponies are not as heavy as rock, so as soon as you get lighter..."

I got the gist. "So it goes off when the weight goes down."

"Precisely. Consider it also a True Shot burglary alarm, in case somepony tried to make off with my student." She rolled her eyes. "I'd have a few words for such a pony. So! How are you? Aren't you up early? This is the shortest petrification period we've recorded so far."

I raised a hoof to my cheek. "Well I hadn't meant to go to sleep, it just happened. We were just driving and I got bored, and--"

"You alright, Linnie?" I was suddenly awake and Kevin was talking to me.

I felt a rush of emotions. I was embarrassed to be 'caught', even if it was natural to nod off on such a long trip. "What? Just took a little nap is all."

"I thought you were talking to me." He shrugged. "I didn't know you spoke in your sleep, but I guess I was pretty beat last night."

I tensed a bit. How much had I said? "Oh, well..."

"No big deal," he assured, eyes on the road. "Two more hours, then maybe grab some dinner?"

That sounded like a better topic. "That sounds great. Any other tourist spots on the way?"

"Not on this leg of the trip."

I didn't want to sleep again, not with Kevin right there, and knowing I had made some interesting noises. I worried a little about Starlight and hoped she would understand.

I resisted all urges to sleep until we actually bunked up at a new motel for the night and crashed into our beds, ready for some real rest after a day of being locked in a van. The bed wasn't the softest ever, but compared to the seat, it was good enough.

The bell rang softly outside my stony shell. I didn't even bother waiting, I just wriggled and broke the stone away even as Starlight appeared.

She landed lightly and nodded. "There you are. Are you back for longer than a second this time?"

I nodded quickly. "Back, for real this time." My eyes darted around. "Twilight also awake?"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Miss Princess is staring at stars at the moment."

"Then why isn't she staring at you? You're the best star in the area." I had meant it as a little joke, but the moment it finished escaping me, I realized how it could be taken as so much more.

Starlight went a bright red and pivoted in place away from me. "I hope you're ready for lessons!" she said in a strained voice. "We have plenty to go over..."

I wanted to apologize, but there wasn't an obvious way to do so that I saw. Instead I followed after her. "What are we going over today."

"Tonight," she corrected. "Let's see you glow to start." She opened a door with magic and stepped inside a smaller room. It was lined with books. That seemed common in Twilight's castle. "Go on."

I focused on making light and it came. In fact, it came easier and smoother than before. "Huh... Aloe and Lotus really do know what they're doing."

Starlight blinked at that. "What did they do?"

I pointed up at my glowing horn. "She pressed down near the base of my horn until something... gave, and a headache I didn't even realize was building went away."

Starlight's expression darkened a little before a bright smile returned. "She's quite knowledgeable, for an earth pony. I can only presume she's had special training in unicorn anatomy." She circled around me slowly. "That glow is good. Now, blink."

I blinked.

"Not that blink!" She thrust a hoof up at my horn. "Make it go out, then back, as quickly as you can. Show me your control."

I crossed my eyes a bit as I snuffed the light, then tried to resummon it. The first time went well enough, but as I snuffed it again, I could feel things getting... backed up for lack of a better word.

Starlight put a hoof on my shoulder. "Relax. Feel that? That's what happens when you try to get magic to move more precisely than you're able. Practice can improve that, but it's important to recognize it and avoid it in the future. Let it get too backed up and you're in for one trip to pain city." She walked past me, tail swaying lightly. "Understand?"

I did, and said as much. "Am I ready to learn a spell?" I was a little excited to do that.

That got a smile on her lips. "You remind me of somepony..." She sat down. "Well, let's see how you handle this one. It's one of the earlier ones I learned." Her magic glowed and pulled a book down from the shelves. "It's a cleaning spell. All you need is cleaning supplies, and it does the rest." She gestured and a little closet opened, revealing sudsy water, brushes, mops, and other things. "I was hoping today would be the day."

I glanced over at the supplies before looking back at her grin. "Alright... how do I get to work?" I willed the mop to dunk itself in the bucket. That wasn't hard.

Starlight gently bopped my horn. "We're not using brute telekinesis, oh no." She floated the book over and it had strange writing in it. "I want you to read this."

"I can't," I said bluntly. "This is not in English or any other language I'm even aware of."

Starlight nodded. "Stop trying to read it, and read it. Let it soak in. Just admire it like a painting until it clicks."

I gave her a squint before trying to look at the page and relax. Maybe it was like one of those 'cross your eyes just so' puzzles to see something in three dimensions I could never do. Whatever it was, I owed Starlight a try and I stared... and stared... "Should something be happening?"

"Relax."

Being told to relax was remarkably unrelaxing, but I tried, and got bored. My eyes started to slide off the page and my mind wandered and suddenly... there it was. They meant something. I had no idea what they meant, but they meant something. I felt my bulb of magic itching in my skull and could feel it in my horn. "What is this!?" I squeaked out in surprise, and the feeling faded.

Starlight looked overjoyed. "You saw it? Excellent." She snapped the book shut. "You're better than one unicorn I know."

I blinked at that. "Which?"

Starlight waved it off. "Don't worry about that. He's a dear stallion, but he's more of a reader and less of a doer, in the end. Still, a valuable example. He had considerable magical reserve, but he couldn't do magic, not the spell you just saw a glimpse of. All that, for telekinesis, poor-- Nevermind that!" She opened the book. "Back to looking. When you feel that itch, I want you to scratch it. Let your magic flow along right where that itch is like it was a soothing cream."

And so we did, and I made quite the mess. The first time I tried that spell, the mop surged into motion and knocked the soapy pail right over. Brushes flew randomly and much more of a mess was created than had been fixed. Despite that, Starlight was full of praise and encouragement.

Then she had me do it again. And again... and again...

It felt like a dozen or so attempts had been made. I was tired, sore, and had a headache. "One more time," she insisted with clenched teeth.

With a sigh, I stared at the page and closed my eyes as I felt the magic flow up. I was too tired. That had perhaps helped me. I didn't have enough energy to get in the way of where things wanted to go.

I heard a little giggle and cracked open an eye to see a mop dancing along, cleaning dutifully. Brushes were hard at work on the very mess I had made. I was too surprised not to ruin the whole thing. Everything crashed to the ground, but I had done it!

Starlight quickly repeated that fact as she hugged me right around the neck. "I knew you could, my student." She flashed a big smile. "Now aren't you glad you got a good teacher, hmm?"

She was fishing for compliments, and not even very gracefully, but I obliged. "Thank you. Your lessons are really paying off."

Starlight's horn flashed and all the mess was sent away. "You can relax now. I have somepony to talk to!" She vanished with a bright fit of sparkles, leaving me in the suddenly quiet room.

I was too beat. I looked around for a bed, failed to find one, and staggered out and around until I managed to find my own room. With a smile I collapsed on the bed.

I awoke. I was still sore and headachy, and it was time to get up. Damn it all to hell!

Kevin was watching me as he had the morning before. "Huh, these beds didn't work out for you?" I muttered something vile in response. "I'll take driving first this time."

Author's Note

The road-trip continues!

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33 - Tired

I quickly learned a valuable lesson. Sleep patterns were important, and if I was on a trip where that was less than likely, I would be well-advised to avoid stressing myself in pony world.

That day I kept nodding off, slipping between worlds like a drunken ice-skater and feeling about as graceful. I finally sank into a real sleep after breakfast was sleepily nibbled at and we were back in the van. Kevin, bless his soul, didn't complain about my lack of helpfulness and I sank into a dreamless coma.

Allowed to rest, I was in neither world. I was asleep, truly asleep. The sleep of the dead with no dreams to bother it.

At least until I felt cool stone and knew I had woken up in the pony world. I heard a soft bell chime. It wasn't nearly as fun having that thing there. I smirked a little as I got to breaking free of the stone shell in time for Twilight to come trotting in. "Good morning, True. Your friend said you'd be along any minute."

I froze a moment. "W-what?"

Twilight tilted her head. "I came to visit and he was operating the vehicle and said you were sleeping. I could see you doing so, but you were still a statue. I asked about that and--"

I applied my right forehoof to my face. I hadn't told Twilight specifically not to speak about it... so she had.

"Did I say something wrong?" Twilight looked innocent and clueless.

"In the future," I said with a wry smile. "Let's keep these things quiet. I hadn't told him about... this." I waved around the room.

"Oh!" She colored quickly. "I thought he was... I mean we were talking..."

"It's not your fault," I assured her with a little sigh. "I'm not angry at you, but I bet I'm in for an interesting conversation later." A thought occurred to me. "You could talk to him if you wanted, right?"

"You're physically present, so yes. I have nothing of his to focus on, but you were sleeping just beside him." Twilight tilted her head. "Did you need to?"

"Need to, no, but..." I looked back over myself. He was going to find out everything, if he hadn't already asked a thousand questions. "We should go ahead and clear the air, so to speak."

Twilight gestured to follow and got to trotting. She led the way to a room with a big bowl of water in it. "Here we are. Now..." Her horn began to glow and an image of Kevin appeared, driving along quietly.

He started a bit. "Oh, hey Twilight!" He looked quite happy to see her, but that turned to puzzlement as I stepped into view. "Who's your friend?"

"It's me," I said. The odd part is that I could see... me... the sleeping human me, and I even heard her mutter the words in a slur under her breath. "Linda, or True Shot, as I'm known here."

Kevin glanced across at my sleeping form and back at me. "You've officially... made this day about as strange as it could be. Are you as manly as your voice suggests?"

A fierce blush overtook my cheeks. "Yes."

"So when do I get a turn?"

Twilight tilted her head. "We're still not certain how or why Linda, or True Shot, does what they do. It's deeply fascinating, but I'm afraid I could make no assurances that we could replicate the phenomenon."

"But you're looking into it?"

Twilight's ears went up. "If you're willing to be a test subject, that would be very helpful! Perhaps we could get a pony to swap places with you, though I'm afraid what will happen if two living subjects are used."

That sounded like trouble... "We shouldn't be too fast."

"Wait, Linda's pony is dead?"

"For centuries," agreed Twilight. "It's allowed her to be in full control. We're unsure what caused it."

"She's a zombie?" He hiked a brow.

I scowled at the pond. "I'm not a zombie! Actually, I'm more like a gargoyle. When I'm asleep here, I'm a statue."

"Bad ass," complimented Kevin as he steered. "Going to refuel the van. Want me to wake you up for lunch, or too busy having fun as pony cupid?"

Had Twilight told him about that?! "Cupid?!"

He shrugged a bit. "Your arrows have hearts on them. It's adorable."

Oh god, another person to spew the word adorable. I laughed at it all. "You haven't seen nearly enough of this world. Everything is cute."

Twilight perked an ear. "Huh? There are many terrible and vicious things, but we try to keep them out of everypony's way."

"I want to see more." He raised his brows together. "So... hung like a horse huh?"

The blush came rushing back even as I narrowed my eyes a little. "Now that's none of your business."

"I presume that's a yes."

Twilight glanced between us. "I'm not familiar with that turn of phrase. Can you explain it?"

I pointed at her while looking to Kevin. "Well, you made this mess, go on. Explain it."

It was his turn to color and look awkward. "I have to go gas the van." He slipped out of view hurriedly.

Twilight shook her head slowly then turned to me. "You clearly know its meaning. Kindly?"

Oh, great... "Well, you see..."

By the time Kevin got back, Twilight was a cherry color in her cheeks. Her fur did nothing to hide it.

Kevin buckled in and got back to driving. "You told her, didn't you?"

I snorted like the horse I was. "Thanks..."

Twilight shivered and snapped free of her funk. "Your people have an... odd view of equines. Though I suppose that shouldn't be too surprising, given your world's lack of diversity. Only one intelligent species? It must be so lonely."

Kevin shrugged as he drove. I nodded instead. "Maybe a little, but we have plenty of ourselves to deal with. We have pets, if we want."

Twilight shrugged in a noncomittal way. "I used to have a pet... Do you?" She glanced between Kevin and me.

"Not me," reported Kevin as he pulled onto a highway. "I've considered a cat a few times, but never went for it."

I stuck out my tongue a little. "Nor I. Hey, Kevin. I just wanted to, uh... come clean."

He was quiet a moment. "You know, it was getting a bit... odd."

"Odd?"

Kevin nodded. "You said the oddest things in your sleep. I listened last night, uh, to some of it. Hell, it's almost a relief that you just have dreams of being a magical pony prince."

I fluffed up a little at that. "This isn't a dream!"

"Yeah?" He reached over and flicked my ear.

I woke with a start. Twilight was suddenly sitting next to a pony statue. She sighed softly. "Well, I guess I'll see you later, Linda."

"W-wait!" I sat up and composed myself. "I had meant to tell you, Starlight--"

"Taught you your first spell." Twilight smiled brightly. "She couldn't stop telling me about it. She's so proud of you, and herself for teaching you. You've made her very happy."

Kevin glanced aside at me. "You can do magic? That's pretty... does it work here?"

Twilight blinked. "I would be very surprised." She thrust a hoof at me. "As a human, she lacks a horn to channel magic through. To my knowledge, humans also lack the required organs for collecting and storing that energy."

I considered that a hot moment. "But has a human tried?"

Twilight gave a bit of a wry smirk at that. "When I first became a human, I tried to open doors just as I walked, pow, face first into glass."

Kevin snorted softly. "I remember that."

That caught Twilight's attention. "You saw that?!" Her cheeks started to color again. "That wasn't my proudest moment..."

"You did fine." He waved it off with one hand. "I'm pretty sure I'd be walking around like a drunk toddler for a lot longer if I were suddenly a pony. You adapted pretty quick, all things considered."

"T-thank you." Twilight dipped her head. "It's quite strange to think my adventures are known in other realities like that." She smiled a little as she sighed. "I suppose it's really true. We're all stars of our own stories."

Kevin waved the idea off. "My life isn't that interesting."

But mine... "Huh..." I wiggled a few fingers out the window, in case there was some unseen camera out there. At least I could amuse the watchers with some fourth-wall nodding. "I can only hope I make for an interesting story."

"I dare say you do." Twilight nodded. "I should get back to work, and set you--" She tapped the statue. "--back on your pedestal. Talk to you both later." She faded away.

Kevin drove quietly for a few minutes before he rolled his shoulders. "So... when were you going to tell me about this?"

Great... "After we settled in and I felt safe to do that? Look, it's like I said before, let's avoid the cliche bad endings, alright?"

"Yeah... So, do you care if I try to, you know... If Twilight can set it up, I want to try. That sounds epic."

Ultimately, I didn't, but... "Don't harass her. She is a princess and I try not to monopolize her time. She'll work on it though. She's curious, and she isn't the one to ignore curiosity."

"I can only talk to her when she calls us, so she's pretty safe." He pulled off the highway. "Time to grab some lunch, which you're awake for."

"Thanks to you."

"Yup." He parked the van carefully, bloated thing that it was. "Now you get to eat. No need for thanks."

I rolled my eyes at his humor and hopped free of the van. That nap had really helped and I felt less like mildly warmed roadkill. We got some vittles and saw the sights before we were back on the road. Horse things to the side, the trip was progressing smoothly. I just wanted it to finish that way.

Author's Note

He knows! A typo that couldn't well be avoided.

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34 - Night Stalker

Several days later, I was awoken with a start as something fuzzy and altogether bizarre felt like it was just... emerging from my forehead. I'm not afraid to admit that I gave quite the yelp at the time.

Kevin was roused instantly and the room was bathed in light as he slapped a hand down on the light switch, revealing... a horse. A specific horse. Starlight was in our room.

She looked between us a moment before she settled on Kevin. "There you are. My student, I've learned how to visit you!"

Kevin blinked blearily. "Uh... Hey, a pleasure to meet you, but I'm Kevin and I'm pretty sure you're looking for Linda." He pointed over towards me.

I shook my head slowly. "How did you... do that? I had just gone to sleep."

Kevin yawned at that. "Just? It's been a few hours."

"Which is exactly the right time." Starlight nodded. "You seemed to enter a state that puts you between worlds. I presumed that was when you got true sleep, but it also made you a perfect bridge between worlds. Who needs mirror portals with you around, my..." She squinted a little bit. "I thought the tales of you being a human mare were a joke between you and Twilight."

I let out a strained laugh. "Afraid not. I've been that way since birth." I pulled the blanket up as I sat up properly. "How do you plan to get back? You can't stay here."

"And why not?" She raised a brow at me. "I want to see your world. It sounds beyond interesting." Her eyes traveled to the lamp. "Electricity. So, I hear your people rely on it the same that ours might use magic? Show me some electrical magic!"

Kevin put his feet on the ground. "Before we get into that, can I...?" He reached with a hand.

Starlight looked perplexed. "Can you what?"

"Can I pet you?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Buy a mare dinner first. Straight to petting..." She turned to me. "Is he your mate?"

I quirked a half smile. "No, a friend. He didn't mean anything sexual by that. To remind, there's all of one intelligent species on this planet, so when we see pretty inhuman things, the urge is to pet and stroke, not to flirt."

Starlight raised a brow all the higher. "Well I am intelligent, so you'll have to earn that privilege."

Kevin only laughed, not seeming too put out by the rejection. "That's the answer I'd expect from a house cat that could talk. Well, welcome, Starlight."

Starlight blinked, then focused on me. "Did you tell him about me?"

I held up my hands. "I wouldn't dare. I'm not a gossip. However, things are different here. He knows you. He knows your past."

"Like that time you used to control an entire town through brainwashing cult leadership."

Starlight went red, her composure shattered into pieces. "Y-you know about that?!"

"And your coltf--" Magic sparkled around his mouth, silencing him.

Starlight was breathing heavily and forcing a smile. "That's... quite enough. You've proven your ability. Now tell me how."

So we decided to give Starlight several answers at once. We set up his phone so we could all watch it as the episode that introduced Starlight to Twilight, and to us, the audience, began to play.

Starlight shrank a bit as she watched. "Was I really... that mean? Ugh... Looking back on your past can be less than... pretty. I was so loud..."

I tried to give some comfort. "If your current self sees your past self that poorly, that means you've grown up quite a bit since then. You should be proud. Besides, I'm pretty sure everyone has things in their past they're less than proud of."

Kevin was far more curious. "So... you're a big time spellcaster, right?"

Starlight's ears went up. "Of course." A confident smile returned to her face. "Are you impressed? I'm new to humans, but I think I can tell. Your electric magic is something else, but you've never been witness to true unicorn magic." Her horn began to glow softly. "Was there something you wanted to see?"

Kevin looked surprised as he grabbed a shirt and slipped it on. "You sound more like Trixie right about now."

Starlight's glow went out. "You know her too? Do you know everypony?!" Her eyes darted to the inactive phone. "I suppose with that device, you do... She is a dear friend. I suppose I shouldn't be too shocked that I picked up a few of her mannerisms along the way. A little showmareship."

I let out a thunderous yawn. "Look, it's, uh..." It wasn't exactly nice to see her, not in the human world. "It's late."

Starlight glanced around. "Curious, that. Our worlds are not nearly as close as the ones bridged with the mirror portal. They stay in sync, while yours does not."

That was all very fascinating, but... "Can you go home?"

"No." She saw my alarmed face. "Not until you go back to sleep, of course. You are my portal." She thrust a hoof at me. "A very small one, I should add, though that's not your fault."

Kevin shook his head. "How are you going to... go into her while she's asleep without waking her up?"

That was a point. "You coming out is what woke me up." I put a hand to my head. "A pony escaping my head is not a subtle event. Is one going back in any less of a violation?"

Starlight frowned with obvious thought a moment before she lifted her shoulders. "Perhaps there are flaws to my plan."

Kevin burst into laughter. "I think it's a bit more serious than that. You're stranded in an alien world."

"Hey, Twilight managed it once without totally freaking out. I'll do the same." Starlight puffed herself up.

I had to point out the differences, "Twilight was a human at the time, not a colorful pony. She was a kid hiding out in highschool. She also had a friend with her."

Starlight pointed at me. "And you're not a friend now, my student?"

I smiled a little. "Yes, you are. We'll both try to help, of course, but we need to get some things straight."

Kevin raised a finger. "Starting with the fact that you cannot be seen."

Starlight faded from view, her voice speaking from the air, "Will this suffice?"

Kevin clapped his hands together. "Just like with the changelings!"

Starlight blinked back into existence. "Does that thing show... intimate moments? You've seen far too much of my past!"

I waved a hand quickly. "Nothing like that. Those shows are meant for, uh, human foals to watch, so anything that would be considered alarming to them is mostly left out."

Starlight nodded. "Ah, curious. Why would my adventures be considered a foal's tale?" She blinked. "Right, only intelligent species, nevermind."

Kevin slowly laid back down. "Well, we have to get some sleep. Stay here, Starlight. You'll be coming with us for now."

The light was extinguished and we settled down, and I got lots of sleep, is what I would like to say, but would be a lie.

Just as I nodded off, I felt something brushing against me and snapped away to find Starlight kissing my forehead. She squeaked and fell back onto her haunches. "Blast it!" she cursed as vilely as a pony might.

I was grumpy and tired, mostly tired. I grabbed her as she squawked and pulled her into a hug. With the blankets snug around us, I tried to go back to sleep.

I found myself in stone and let out a quiet breath. Starlight had let me go to sleep properly. Renewed and ready, I shook free of the stone to find a worried-looking Twilight staring at me.

"Have you seen Starlight?"

I blinked at her, surprised. "You know?"

Twilight let out a little sigh. "Don't tell her, but I've gotten in the habit of checking once in a while through her notes. I found her spell, to hop through your dreaming state to reach your world, and now she isn't here. Did it work?"

Well, so much for that being a mystery... "I'm holding her, back in the human world."

Twilight sagged. "I'm glad she's safe... but she shouldn't be there!"

"I'm aware of that." I looked back over myself and returned the gaze to her. "We'll take care of her as well as we can, but she can't get back."

"Can't, or won't?" She raised a suspicious brow at me.

"Can't." I raised a hoof to point at my head. "She comes and goes through my forehead. Coming she woke me up. She can't go back since it would wake me up before she got moving."

Twilight winced faintly. "I can't imagine that was a subtle sensation. Are you alright?"

I nodded at that and started to walk. "I am, thanks. She didn't cause any harm other than waking me up. We'll have to figure out a different way to get her back here, where she belongs." The clip-clop of my hooves was soothing in a way, and I kept walking to hear them. "Is there anything we can do from here?"

Twilight fell in behind me. "I'll have to fully decipher her spell and then get to finding an answer. We may end up making that mirror portal after all, just to get her back."

That brought up something. "About that, if she's already a pony and takes a mirror portal to Equestria, what happens?"

Twilight shrugged. "Hay if I know, but we may end up finding out. Hopefully nothing, since she's already in an ideal form for Equestrian living. Worst case, we end up with a human Starlight... Who can't do magic... and would have a meltdown." Twilight clopped her own forehead with a hoof. "I'm going to hope that doesn't happen."

My pony belly made a loud reminder that it liked being fed as much as my human one and I veered towards the kitchen. Spike was already there. "Hey True! I'll toss on some more for ya." He was making pancakes and started making more without any prompting.

I smiled at it and nodded to Spike. "You're a real treasure, Spike."

Spike grinned with obvious pride as he worked. I wasn't sure if he was told often enough how amazing of a person to have around he was.

I turned to Twilight. "We can't do anything about it now."

"You can't," she agreed. "But I can. I'll get on deciphering the exact workings of that spell. For now... well, enjoy yourself. You'll have to deal with this when you return to your world. Please, keep her safe." She winked out of sight with a few sparkles.

Spike rolled his eyes. "I get the idea she isn't going to eat most of hers."

"Probably not," I agreed stepping up to see Spike preparing breakfast. There was a small bowl of strawberries, so I stole one, willing it to my mouth, only to have a wooden spoon suddenly strike me across the snout.

Spike was glaring at me and snatched the strawberry back. "It'll be ready soon, True."

"Sorry." I settled to watch him prepare breakfast. "Huh, you're good at this."

"Hmm?"

"Cooking. Have you been cooking a while?"

"Oh, sure." He gave a thumbs up. "For years. Twilight's pretty awful at it. She'll study right through meals if you let her, so there I am, making sure she gets refueled." He slid a perfectly golden pancake onto a pile. "Speaking of which, I'll take hers to her. You can start now if you want." He moved to gather up three plates all at once.

I didn't see any good reason to let him do that. "I'll take mine." I willed one to lift away carefully and soon had it securely in grip as Spike dashed away with his own and Twilight's.

I settled at the table and got to enjoying what Spike had made, syrup and strawberries included. Mmm. It was just as tasty as it looked and soothed the hunger within me.

Author's Note

Starlight... I think this counts as a typo.

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35 - On the Road, Hard Mode

When next I woke up in my human body, Starlight was there. She was awake, and was watching me, but hadn't tried to wriggle away or otherwise disturb me. "Are you really True Shot?"

"Why would I lie about that?" I sat up and slid back. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not particularly." She frowned a little. "Are you..." She rolled a hoof. "Twilight mentioned human mares are strangely shaped." Her eyes dropped from my own to my chest. "It must be so strange, having your, ahem, breasts on display at all times, foal or not."

I cocked a brow at her even as I threw my legs over the side and slid to my feet. "It's how we're built, so it can't be very 'strange' for us. The odder part from my side is how I can instantly tell a mare and a stallion apart, aside from size. True's body seems to fill in the rest. Stance, scent, I couldn't say where exactly, but it seems obvious before a pony ever opens their mouth."

"I'm sure Twilight would have a term for that." Starlight shook her head. "So... If you are a mare by birth, why were you so eager to court me? Is this--"

Kevin returned from the bathroom, a curious look on his face. "Excuse me?" He got to getting dressed in a fresh shirt. "What sort of adventures have you been up to, exactly."

Oh great... "Look, in the pony world, I am a pony, a male one, and I haven't done anything besides."

Starlight's eyes became half-lidded. "Not for lack of effort." She waved a hoof lightly. "Honestly, the only thing you haven't tried is one of those arrows of yours. Is that cheating?"

"One, yes. Two, it doesn't make any feelings, it just makes ponies face the ones that are already there." I noticed as I said it that Starlight was looking more and more nervous, and it hit me. "Which are already there," I repeated and she pulled the blanket over her form with a twinkle of magic. "Starlight..."

"You are my student! This is not right! You're a mare too! Double unright."

Kevin shrugged. "If two ladies want to kiss, who am I to say no?"

I rolled my eyes at that. "Not helping."

"Sorry." He came over and put a hand lightly on Starlight. "Hey, calm down. No-one here is trying to pressure you one way or the other. Let's just keep you safe and get you back home."

Starlight peeked out from under her covers. "You're just saying that," she spat with some venom. "I can hear your thoughts, judging me..."

"I am," admitted Kevin as he crouched to be on her level. "You are an adorable pony, with powerful magic, who is scared and off-balance. I want to protect you and help you, however I can."

Starlight gave a slow blink. "When did I become adorable?" Her cheeks went faintly red. "I mean, nevermind... Thank you." She suddenly scowled. "But why would you find me cute in any way? You saw what I did, did you not?! I destroyed my own world in countless different ways! You should be scared."

"I'm not," assured Kevin. "You made mistakes, and you learned your lessons. In the end, no one really got hurt, so I'm not holding that against you."

I gave Starlight a pat, since it looked like a fun thing to do and I agreed she needed comfort. "We have plenty to face in the present, so let's leave the past back where it is."

She grabbed my hand with her magic and pulled it to her chest. "It's not fair. Pretend you were hit with an arrow as well. What are your true feelings?"

I could tell Starlight was in a delicate place, with how she was wildly careening in the conversation, to say nothing of the way she held herself, the tension I could feel under her fur and even her magic felt taut. "There are many things I can say. You're sharp as a tack." My eyes wandered over her face, must of the rest of her still hidden. "I like the way you carry your mane." The comment made Kevin snort for some reason. "You're a terrific mare and an awe-inspiring wizard."

"But you are not interested." She let go of my hand. "That may be for the best. I... Yes. Are we moving?" She threw off the blanket and hopped to her hooves. "We are on a journey, are we not?"

She had tossed the issue aside. On one hand, that couldn't be healthy, on the other, we did need to move. "Hey, Starlight, can you pretend to be a person? A human, that is."

Starlight frowned thoughtfully. "That is not a spell I've studied. Invisibility will have to do." She faded from sight. "Pick me up and carry me to where it's safe. Moving while this is going is very difficult."

Kevin reached out to where there seemed to be nothing and soon was holding... nothing in his arms. It was a very curious pose, but nothing worth calling the news about. "Alright, got her, let's head out."

So we did, piling into the van. He set her down between us carefully and she faded back into being, looking around the truck curiously. "So this is that vehicle Twilight had mentioned. We have similar devices, but they're just that, similar. Most are powered by ponies, dragging, magic, or with the magic of flight. Yours is... powered by what?"

I buckled myself in and got to turning the key. "Hear that? It's an engine, powered by ancient plants and plankton."

Starlight scowled. "Are you serious? Plants?" She turned her head to face the engine before she shook her head. "Your world has plenty of magic of its own curious design."

Kevin's hand came down on her head and pressed it lightly out of easy view of the road around us. "We don't need anyone spotting our colorful guest, even if I'm glad to see her. So, what's it like, being a pony?"

Starlight blinked up at Kevin. "What's it like, being a human?"

"Point... Well, welcome to Earth. You caught us on a long trip to move across our country, America that is."

"A-mare-ih-ca?" Starlight cocked a brow. "I thought you said ponies don't exist here."

Kevin laughed at that. He seemed to be having a good time with it. "That's just good luck. It doesn't mean mares at all. We have horses, which are larger than ponies, and not very intelligent."

"Ponies never evolved in this world?" She tapped at her chin. "Curious."

I cocked a brow at that. "Ponies have evolution as a concept?"

"Certainly." She nodded. "The idea that certain species can change over time, sometimes creating whole new species or entirely abandoning an old form. Ponies are still evolving, in fact. They say we have entered the fourth great evolution. I wonder what we'll look like in the fifth... Though I suppose I won't be around to see it."

Kevin just about lost it, bursting into howls of laughter that confused both Starlight and me. I reached a hand over and gave him a nudge. "Share the joke?"

He waved it off. "Remember the museum? There were four generations of ponies."

Ah. Then I got it. That didn't help poor Starlight. "Is anypony going to fill me in?"

I let Kevin, who pulled out his phone and began showing off the generations of ponies.

"Wildly inaccurate," she declared as she watched them. "But not entirely. Our worlds are clearly related, even if distant."

"Hello?" Twilight had joined us, though she hadn't put her face into view. "Is Starlight there?"

Starlight went rigid and flopped to the ground bonelessly at the same time, somehow. "Tell her I'm not here."

I rolled my eyes and was not about to do that. "Hey Twilight. She's afraid to talk to you right now."

"Starlight, come here. Now is not the time for foalish antics." I could hear Twilight clop a hoof. "Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine." Starlight peeked her head up to see the shimmer of Twilight's magic. "I don't see you."

"It is against human regulations for me to be in the way of their view of their roads while the vehicle is in motion. A very sensible law that I am trying to honor. There you are! Are you alright, Starlight?"

"I just said I'm fine." Starlight smiled a little. "Thank you for checking."

"How could I not? You're not just my student, Starlight. We're friends. I'm investigating different ways to get you home, so do as Linda says."

"Who."

I raised a hand briefly. "Yo."

"Oh..." Starlight frowned a little. "She's my student."

"And she's the one that knows you and the world you live in. I had to take some advice from Spike when I was freaking out in the human world, now's your turn. Oh, hello Kevin. I'm sorry for ignoring you. You're in good hooves. They're both good ponies and will do everything in their power to keep you safe."

I nodded faintly in the direction of the hazy glow that was Twilight. "We'll keep her intact while we move. You can reach me, so we won't be out of touch."

"That's exactly what I'm counting on." I heard her sigh. "This would have been less awkward if it was a mirror portal. Then you'd just have a new human to worry about instead of a literal alien."

Kevin reached over and put a hand on Starlight's head, earning a brief glare, but not being pushed away. "We'll do everything we can to keep her safe."

"Are you waiting for your turn?" replied Twilight in a fit of uncharacteristically keen character study.

Kevin went a cherry red at being caught so easily. "Well... I mean... It's just the right thing to do, not that I doubt either of you wouldn't help me out if I was stranded in Equestria."

Twilight's face peeked in. "You'll get your chance, but I have to finish rescuing Starlight first. Please, be safe." She faded away.

Starlight repelled Kevin's hand with her magic easily. "You really are a touchy person. So, Kevin was it? Do you have a last name?"

Kevin shrugged a little. "Davis. Kevin Davis."

Starlight raised a hoof to point at herself. "And I'm Starlight Glimmer." She looked towards me. "And you... are True Shot." She sounded quite vexed at the idea. "It seems I'm in your care for now. I will... endeavor to not be any further of a burden than I already am."

We had been driving a while, and hadn't had breakfast. It was time to fix that. "Starlight, we're going to get something to eat. What do you like? You'll wait here in the van and we'll bring you back some breakfast." I cringed faintly internally at the thought of how more awkward it would have been if I wasn't a successful professional. Just imagining some poor college student suddenly having an alien thrust upon them made me wince in sympathy. "Ponies like eggs, right?"

Starlight's ears went up. "Eggs are nice, over easy please. What else do they offer?"

Kevin could see where I was headed to and offered other options, "Well it depends on if you like meat or not."

"What kind of meat?" She frowned. "Go ahead and tell me you eat horses."

"No! No, Christ, no. They have pancakes, bacon, sausages, salads with and without meat--"

"That's a lot of meat." Starlight raised a brow. "Are you carnivores?" Her magic grabbed Kevin's lips and peeled them up and down to expose his teeth.

Kevin laughed even as he swatted at her magic. "Cut that out. We're omnivores. We'll eat anything basically."

I nodded in agreement. "Name a thing, some person's tried it before, and someone else probably likes it."

"Rocks," she challenged.

Kevin pointed at her. "Joke's on you there. I know some ponies like rocks, and, yes, there are people that like clay."

Starlight. "Did your device tell you that?" She looked doubtful. "I'll be checking with Twilight, later. Look, I'm in an alien world. I'm already on an adventure, surprise me. If I don't like it after a taste, I'll let you know, so maybe a sampler tray if they have that?"

I pulled the van in to rest and soon had the key tucked away. "Sampler tray it is. Now you be good and stay low, no matter what. If it's not too hard, be invisible."

She shook her head. "That's a quick trick, not a long-term spell." She hopped down to the floor and half hid under the seats. "Nopony will spot me down here. Go on."

Author's Note

Oh, oops. I thought to check my words and saw I blew past the goal. Hopefully this typo will not bother anypony.

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36 - Pony on Earth

Thank all the various gods, Starlight stayed put and we got back as quickly as we could with food for us all. We ate our to-go boxes in the van, though I'm not afraid to admit that both Kevin and I were more curious about how Starlight would like the meal than on finishing our own. It wasn't like any of it was new to either of us, so we ate on auto-pilot while watching her and explaining what things were.

"This?" She was pointing at a slice of bacon and we told her as much. "And what..." She sniffed. "What animal is this from?" She paled a bit when told. "Pigs aren't the smartest things around, but they're far from... stupid." She nudged it curiously. "Still... I suppose crying for it isn't going to make it come back, so..." She lifted it with her magic and into her mouth it went.

Starlight chewed thoughtfully for a quiet moment. "Salty..." She swallowed. "Not awful, but I wouldn't order it myself. I never met many pigs myself, still..." And on she went. She did draw the line at beef. "Nope! Cows cross all the lines. They're hoofed, and talk, wear clothes. There's really just no way I can justify turning cannibal on them unless I was starving." Her eyes were already on the french fries which she gobbled without moral issues, on to the varied vegetables, and she slurped down the cola we had gotten her without delay. "Mmm, most of it was quite good." She sat up and wiped her snout clean with a napkin and her magic. "A little sweet all around, and there's this odd aftertaste I can't place, but I'm not starving anymore, so it'll have to do."

Kevin gathered up the trash and hopped out quickly to toss it all away. While he was gone, I showed Starlight how to buckle in properly. "It's for safety."

"Safety?" She eyed the cloth strap. "It barely covers me. Unless I sit up like you are, I doubt it's going to make much of a difference." She arched a brow. "I doubt you want me doing that."

That I had to agree with. "We'll work with what we have."

Kevin slid back into position. "Onward!" And on we went, pulling out onto the highway and continuing our trek west as our forefathers had done long ago, seeking their fortunes. Ours just involved a lot less dead oxen and failed river crossings.

Starlight's head began to rise as she sat up and peeked out of the windows at the scenery going past. "Don't you get nervous with all those other carriages that go past? Most of them are even larger than this one, and I thought this one was plenty large enough."

Kevin shrugged softly. "You get used to it. So long as everyone follows the rules, we're pretty safe. Say, Starlight?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't have a human spell, but you know a lot of other spells, right?"

Starlight turned to Kevin. "You should know the answer to that."

Kevin tapped his fingers together lightly. "Yes, but that doesn't mean I want to assume, or be rude. Besides, I've only seen little slices of your life, not a play by play. I don't know exactly what spells you know or not, and I bet some of them you have to get out of a book before you do them."

"True enough..." Starlight nodded. "I didn't bring much magic with me, but there are plenty of spells I have dedicated to memory, like this one." She lifted a precious inch from the seat. She was still wearing the seatbelt, and pushed against it as her horn glowed and she hovered there in defiance of gravity. "Ta da..."

Kevin looked quite delighted, and I might have smiled a bit too. It was different seeing it in... the human world, versus in ponyland. The clash of realities made me tingle a little. It was odd, and out of place, but in a way that almost made me want to giggle like a girl. We were living the dream.

He was more focused. "That's pretty amazing, but what else can you do?"

She hiked a brow. "I can make a variety of shields, which I hope will not be required. I can... Look, you saw it. You know I know how to fight." She settled back on the seat. "I'm not here to fight though."

I made a little calming gesture with one hand as the other kept the van pointed straight down the road. "I don't think he's trying to imply that, are you Kevin?"

"'Course not. I'm way more curious about the other spells. Like can you turn things into other things?"

Starlight hiked a brow. "Twilight actually has more experience with transfiguration than I do, but, yes, I know a few. None of them seem particularly useful right now though, unless you want birds."

I had to ask, "Birds?"

Starlight nodded. "Certainly. I can turn things into viable bird eggs. It was one of the tests Twilight had given me."

Oh... the implications... "You can make life, just like that?"

Starlight tilted her head. "And you can't? All this magic you're surrounded by and that trick is beyond you? Very curious..."

Kevin clapped his hands, drawing her eyes. "That's just it. What we do effortlessly would give ponies fits, and vice versa. We are the solutions to each other's problems."

It was my turn to raise a querying brow. "And just how do you plan to get those keys to either lock? Ponies are happy in Equestria. Bringing humans to them would almost assuredly result in tears. There is no happy ending here. Let's be rational about this before we end up in one of those cliche endings I was warning about before."

Starlight shrugged. "I'm already here, but, from the sound of it, if I jumped out and proclaimed I had all the answers, it wouldn't go over well."

Kevin gave a little shrug. "Sorry, not trying to upset the cart. Just thinking, you know, if we could..." He sat up in his seat. "I'll be happy enjoying my little slice of pony. Thanks for sharing, Starlight."

Starlight smirked faintly and a beam of light ran from her horn over Kevin, head to toes and back again. She turned in place to face me and did the same odd scan. It tingled where the light hit.

"Exactly what are you doing?" I dared to ask. "I'm driving this van, I remind. Unless you want to verify how fast we're traveling the hard way, using magic on me isn't a good idea."

"Yes yes." She waved a hoof. "I was just looking. I had a theory, but testing it will require some... testing."

Kevin peered at her with wonder and suspicion in equal amounts. "What kind of testing?"

Starlight flashed the brightest smile. "The kind I feel you would be quite willing to help with, if you like unicorn magic so much. You did say you wanted to see some transfiguration, did you not?"

I put up a hand. "No, thanks. I already get all the transformations I need every night."

Starlight waved a hoof at me. "I wasn't asking you, my student. I was asking Kevin." She was watching him rather intently. "I think I can see it..."

Kevin was looking more and more nervous. "See what?"

"You're the kind of pony that gets a thrill out of a unicorn willing to take command." She sat up straight. "I once raised an entire town to be that way. You know that, don't you?" Her nose twisted a little. "You probably also know I freaked out when they asked me to do it again after being away... But I never did wrong by you. If you want that..."

Was Starlight honestly propositioning Kevin to be his dom? I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the idea. Kevin didn't look much more certain, and he was glancing at me, probably waiting for me to either laugh the whole thing off or set Starlight in her place. I did neither. "This is between you two. I spend my nights as a pony. If I turned around and told you two whatever you wanted to do was wrong, I'd feel like a heel. Just keep it quiet and don't blow our cover with it."

Starlight looked quite pleased at my permission. "I'll be gentle with him, True Shot." She prodded Kevin with a hoof. "Now before we get too far, I bet you're thinking of all sorts of depraved things, well, stop it. We've only just met and I hope you don't think so little of me that you think I'm looking for that out of you."

Oh the laugh he made. It was obvious, to me, he was thinking exactly that. "No! No... So, uh... what do you have in mind?"

"That's a secret." A slender journal slipped from her fur and floated before her as she began scribbling in it. "A secret I'll work on while we move. I won't be ready to try it until this evening at the soonest, so you'll just have to imagine what it could be until then."

Author's Note

What is Starlight plotting, and let's hope there are no typos in whatever she's writing down.

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37 - Pony Up

At the end of the day, I was tired and went straight to bed. Kevin had dragged Starlight in, invisible, to our room.

As I lay there, ready to slumber, I heard them talking.

Starlight spoke in slow assuring tones, "Now you just trust me. You've seen my magic. I'll be very careful." I heard her tapping a book, maybe her journal. "I have two theories, and I'll let you decide which we investigate tonight."

"Two?" I heard Kevin adjust on his bed. "Which two?"

Starlight was quiet a moment. I imagined she shrugged. "The way I see it, the main issue is that I can't hide as a human. To do that, I need mastery of the human form. To do that I can either spend years studying human anatomy, or I can get my hooves dirty and reach in there."

That conversation was not helping me sleep. The last time Starlight had said something like that, it was to perform a dangerous, though successful, operation on me. Should I have stopped them? They were both thinking adults. "Remember he has to drive tomorrow," I muttered under my breath. I had driven most of the day, which did not help me be coherent or want to be awake.

"Of course. So... Would you like to experience that pony life you were asking about, or..."

I nodded off and didn't hear what she said, as worrying as it might be.

I heard a bell jingle as stone pressed against me from all sides. I shook myself free as Spike entered the room and waved at me. "Hey True! Twilight's busy in her office, as usual. She's been beside herself since Starlight ran off."

I nodded at him. "Hey Spike, good to see you." I reached out and gave him a little hug. "Sorry about that. I know it's not exactly my fault, but I still feel bad for being involved."

Spike waved it off. "They're both crazy unicorns. They'll sort it out, probably with magic. I just have to keep Twilight from running herself too ragged, ya know?"

With magic... "Spike, do you know how transformation magic works?"

He shrugged. "Idunno. I've seen Twilight turn things into other things plenty of times, even her friends. Like one time she gave Rarity these big amazing butterfly wings." He sighed with not-subtle fondness. "She's pretty good at it."

I felt the need to correct, so I did, "She's pretty good at all magic, right?"

"Well, not all." Spike rolled his eyes. "There are some spells she's still not so good at, even being a princess and all. Like age spells."

I blinked at the idea. "Age spells exist? How has your society not completely..." Spike looked lost. "I mean... Alright, can any unicorn, ever, at any time, cast that?"

"I guess?" Spike shook his head a little. "Probably Starswirl."

"Then why isn't he still alive, if he can make himself younger on command? If he can do that, why wouldn't he train another pony to eventually do the same, then another, and another, and eventually you have a whole country of unaging horses."

Spike seemed to get where I was going and gave a little shudder. "One, kinda glad that didn't happen, just saying. Two, nopony knows exactly what happened to old Starswirl. Heck, I only know of him because Twilight loves the guy, like a hero I mean. Enough about that." He waved the topic away. "You wanted to do some shopping?"

Ah, right. I had mentioned that last time. "I want to start shopping for a place to work. I think Canterlot is where I should be."

Spike produced a book from behind his back. How did creatures in Equestria do that? No idea, but there it was. He held it up at me. "Good luck with that. Space is at a premium up there. Rarity had to wait years before she could get her boutique."

Huh... "How big is it, her store that is?"

He held his hands as far apart as they could go. "Even bigger than her house here."

I nodded. "I figured. I don't need a large space. Heck, I could end up just renting an office in a larger building along with other professional types. It shouldn't be nearly as hard." I did accept the book and we walked along. "Thanks for being a help, Spike."

"They don't call me--" He jerked his thumbs at himself. "--the number one assistant for nothing. Speaking of that, why not try out your skills here in Ponyville?"

I wasn't sure of the idea. "I don't have an office here either."

He shrugged. "Yeah, but it's a lot easier to get one, besides, who says you need one? It's just to test. Go out and set up a little booth in the marketplace." He saw I was looking uncertain. "C'mon! I'll help you." He got to jogging and I followed behind as he led the way down from the castle.

Outside, I could see it was about mid-day. The sun was high and shining warmly on us. Spike raced ahead of me with a burst of speed. I accelerated to a trot, but as I turned the corner to see him again, I stopped.

He had done it, another bit of Equestrian magic. In the instant he was out of my direct sight, he had a little stand all set up for me. It was like a kissing booth, though it offered romantic advice. "H-huh... wow, Spike. I didn't know you were a carpenter."

He shrugged softly. "You pick up a few things. Go on! Lemme know how it works out." He pointed at me, waved, then got to jogging back up to the castle.

He trusted me to try it. Well... what could the harm be? I moved in and sat behind the booth and gave a smile, awaiting my first customer.

"Hey!" It was Vinyl, popping in out of nowhere in particular. "Look at you! Look at this!" She reached out and tapped the sign. "Is this real? Romance advice? Get out!"

I nodded at her. "Good to see you, Miss Scratch. I help ponies see eye to eye."

Her brows waggled. "Even in the dark with the lights turned out, right?" She laughed as her head bobbed to whatever tune was playing on her headphones. "Well, go ahead, show me."

Show her? "Do you have a particular pony you want to try with? This isn't something that works well with one pony."

"Huh, point there..." She tapped her chin once before she turned. "Hey, Octie!"

"What is it?" Octavia emerged from the mild crowd of the market, bearing a basket of apples. "Why do you insist on--Oh, hello there. Mister Shot, was it?"

I nodded at her. "True Shot. Nice to see you again... Do you have a last name?"

"Octavia Melody," said Octavia with a smile that seemed charming without trying. "Octavia will suffice. Now, were you calling me here just to say hello, Vinyl?"

Vinyl thumped my sign. "Did you see this? He's a love doctor."

Octavia peered at the sign, then up at me. "Fancy that..."

"Exactly! I want him to try, with us."

Octavia raised a brow at her. "I was not aware we had that manner of relationship."

"We could!" Vinyl was all grins. "Can't hurt to check." She fished out some bits with her magic and slapped them down. "Hit us!"

I accepted the bits, but looked to Octavia. "Are you alright with this?"

Octavia settled on her haunches. "I should doubt a little conversation will hurt too badly. Go on."

Conversation was not exactly what I had in mind. With permission given, the bow felt almost itchy at my side. I drew it and a heart-shaped arrow. "These are not love arrows. They will only make you say what you feel, not make new feelings."

Vinyl bobbed her head, looking ready, but Octavia suddenly looked nervous.

I was in the thrall of my talent. Octavia hadn't said she wanted to stop, so I didn't. "I want you two to look at each other." Vinyl fixed her gaze on Octavia while Octavia's eyes darted here and there, constantly washing over Vinyl but never staying on her.

I pulled an arrow back and shivered faintly. Why did that have to feel so good? I put one in Vinyl's rump, making her squawk. Octavia gave a more sedate little grunt.

Her eyes stopped wandering.

The two stared at one another, gazing into one another's depths.

I felt it was my turn. "Vinyl, what do you feel about Octavia Melody? Go ahead, tell her."

Vinyl leaned forward. "I think she's the yang to my yin, ya know. She keeps me balanced, and I'm so glad she's here." She reached out a hoof and pulled Octavia closer. "I worry sometimes I'm annoying her, but I'm not trying to, I swear! I..."

Octavia brushed Vinyl's hoof aside. "You do annoy me. You vex me. You run me ragged and leave me wheezing for breath." She looked away, then back. "And I keep coming back... You don't let me hide. You pull me out into the light. No matter how down I feel, you're there with that goofy smile and a terrible joke."

Vinyl gave one of those goofy smiles. "I love you."

Octavia put a hoof to her face, though she was smiling in turn. "I love you too, you big filly." She kissed Vinyl's cheek, then trot past her. "Now let us depart. There's plenty of shopping to be done, and you're not helping."

Vinyl gave me a wink. "Thanks." And she raced off to keep up with her friend.

That had gone... well, I decided.

Another pony had seen the performance and ambled up. "My turn!"

I perked my ears at the mare. "Who are we testing your feelings for?"

She tilted her head. "I want to find my special somepony. Can you do that?"

Could I? I considered the task before me. If I couldn't, that would limit my clients quite a deal. "Well, let's try." She clopped her hooves with joy. With a loud twang, I shot her right in the chest.

"Ow!" She rubbed the spot where the arrow had been. "I thought that only works with two ponies?"

"But there are two, we just don't know who the other pony is, yet. I want you to think about what you want out of a relationship. I want you to be honest, with yourself. The other pony, today, is you."

"Me?" I felt a tingle, and I think she did too. Apparently my ruse was going to work. "Me..." She sank to her haunches. "I really want to be shaken from my comfort zone by a pony willing to do that without being mean or dangerous. They should be social and insist I come with them to parties and things, maybe shows... They should respect my work schedule, and I would respect their interests. They should tell me about them, and listen when I talk about mine." She spread wings I hadn't noticed a moment earlier. "Oh! A pegasus, for sure. I want to fly with them, whoever they are..." She suddenly snapped out of it. "W-wha?"

"That was you, talking about you." I nodded softly. "Now you have an idea of what to look for."

She gave a little smile and set a few bits on the counter. "I was hoping for something more concrete, but it's a start... thank you. If I find a stallion, I'll bring them by."

She was about to leave, but I put out a hoof. "Fair warning, if the stand's gone, I went off to Canterlot."

Her brows rose together. "Canterlot? Wow. Good luck!" She waved and trotted off.

Author's Note

True Shot starts doing as his cutie mark says, and he kinda likes it.

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38 - When it Rains

I woke up with a languid stretch. My first day of work had gone reasonably well. Not perfect, of course, but I felt good about it, and most of the clients brave enough to try me agreed. I was smiling as I sat up, just for that to be wiped away.

Starlight was leading another pony in slow little steps. "You're doing great," she told the mare. "One and two and three and one and..."

For just a moment, my mind flailed trying to figure it out before the obvious came crashing on me. "Did you just turn Kevin into a girl pony?"

Kevin(?) squeaked in surprise and fell right over in a gangly bunch of alien limbs. "O-oh! Hello, Linda!" She sounded like Kevin, a little, enough that I could recognize him, but I put that up to the fact that I knew it was him before hand. "Um... mad?"

Was I mad? "Assuming she can put you back on two legs before we drive, no." I put my feet on the ground and stood up. "So, why a mare?"

Starlight had the answer to that one. "I'm more familiar with them." Her horn glowed and she helped Kevin up to her new hooves. "Reversing this shouldn't be a problem, but it has yielded valuable information that I plan to use going the other way."

Kevin bounded towards me in a clumsy gait that wasn't quite a trot. "Look, I'm a magic pony!" She had soft aqua-green fur with two tone blue/red mane and tail. She looked quite happy about life in general. "Starlight said if everything works out, I can try being a pegasus next time."

I had to ask, getting myself together as I did so, "So, mare? I know I'm in no situation to even raise a finger, but isn't that bothering you a little?"

Kevin shrugged. "I'm in a room of women I respect and have already shot me down. My prospects of 'living it up' as a guy is currently minimal." She stuck out her tongue a little. "Besides, it's just for fun. It's like putting on a really awful-looking hat for giggles."

Starlight came up beside him and gave a light nudge. "Are you implying that females are bad accessories?"

She turned red. "I didn't mean that and you know it!"

Starlight leaned in. "That's good. Nothing's forcing me to turn you back."

Kevin took a step back. "I'm sorry! Seriously, Jesus..." She looked around the room with her big eyes. "Everything's different as a pony."

Starlight heaved a light sigh. "That means it will all be different as a human. Something for me to look forward to, but if Twilight managed it, I will too." She clopped a hoof down and looked quite determined. "How was your sleep, True Shot."

"That's Linda," I reminded, holding up a finger. "So long as I have two legs, Linda. Four, True Shot, but since you asked, everything went well."

"You looked very happy this morning. Did something happen?" She raised a brow.

"I started my business. I shot ponies with arrows, but only if they asked, and made some ponies happy, one pair cry, and a few ponies consider things." I was in one piece, relatively, though I was considering a shower. Being on the road was no excuse to be stinky... "You two already freshen up?"

Kevin was doing a slow circle on herself as if chasing her own tail. "I should get a pony name..."

Starlight raised a brow at that. "I don't plan on getting a human name. What's wrong with Kevin?"

"Or Linda," I tossed in there as I made my way to the bathroom. "I'm going to sh--" I paused mid-word as Kevin rushed right past me and did a quick little spin to face me at the door. "Or not? Kevin, shoo."

She shook her fuzzy little head.

Starlight's horn began to glow and picked her straight up. "She asked you to move, Kevin."

Kevin squeaked and began to flail. "I'll never get another chance! Linda, can you wash me?"

I gave the slowest blink. Had he, er, she, just asked that? "What?"

She found her balance, hovering half a foot in the air. "I'm a pony. Washing a pony isn't so strange, right?"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "If we're making this a communal bath, fine, we may as well all get clean."

What did I do to deserve this? I let out a little half-laugh. "Look, you're still a guy under those long lashes. You want to see me naked."

Kevin frowned a little. "I've seen naked women before. I'm not a teenager." She rolled her oversized eyes. "We both have the internet when we want random naked people. I want this." She tapped her own chest. "I'll be good, promise."

There were a thousand reasons to push him/her aside, but Starlight had trotted right underneath Kevin and was already getting the water going. I either joined them, or waited. "Is that tub even large enough to consider it?"

"It's surprisingly roomy," reported Starlight before I heard her hooves touch ceramic. "It'll be cramped, with the three of us, but not impossible."

And so that happened. I'll spare the details, this isn't one of those stories, but we managed to take a tight-fitting but pleasant enough washing experience. I washed them, they washed me. It was, literally, a good clean time. By the time we emerged, we were all ready to grasp the day. I still kicked them out to get dressed in peace.

By the time I came out, Kevin was back to being Kevin, and dressed. I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. I was sure this would be the time to run into one of those cliche bad ends."

Starlight looked baffled. "Transformation is cliche? I thought you said it was completely impossible with the magic of humans?"

Kevin did get the idea. "Linda's talking in a literary sense. It would have been a cliche for someone transformed by an alien to have it go wrong, one way or the other."

"Ah." She shook her head. "For not having magic, you certainly do entertain the thought sufficiently." She looked up at Kevin with a confident smile. "So, how did you like your time as a mare? Can you answer what it's like being a pony now?"

Kevin was struck by the question, lapsing into thoughtfulness as I gathered up what we would be bringing with us. "It feels warm. The fur tickles just a little, which I bet you eventually tune out. Not having fingers kind of sucks, and it feels like my arms go on forever. My eyes... Everything looked different, and I had a wider field of view that kept throwing me off. My ears--" He reached up to tap his human ones. "It was kind of crazy to have directional hearing, for things to literally get louder when they were turned towards the sound, which they liked doing on their own."

I moved for the door. "Time to go invis, Starlight. Grab her, Kevin. You take first drive duty today."

And so we went, devouring more distance and getting closer to California. While we went, Starlight seemed quite busy. She kept checking her notes and muttering to herself. "If Sunburst were here..."

I had heard that. "Hmm?"

"Oh, um, a friend. A foal-hood friend, a unicorn. He has exceptional talent with theoretical magic, but limited practical skill. He would have this spell together by now, then look to me to actually cast it." She made a scratch with a pen we had gotten for her the day before. "This self-inking quill is quite a delight. I'm telling you, you have so much magic. Just like our ticklish fur, you just get used to it after a while."

Kevin gave a little chuckle at that. "It's true though, it does tickle."

Starlight pointed her pen at him. "I'm sure I'll feel dreadfully cold at first, but I will have to get used to that as well. How you manage being so very naked..."

"Let's stay focused." I pointed at her journal. "So what, exactly, do you plan, becoming a human?"

"Precisely. To complete this disguise, we'll need some clothes. Being a human without clothes would just draw more attention of the wrong variety, I imagine, considering how timid you were about the bath this morning."

Kevin held up a hand. "I hope you're not sore about that. It was all in good fun."

Good fun... "We all got clean and nobody made any strange moves, besides the whole thing in the first place." I tried to set the whole thing aside. "I noticed Kevin didn't have a cutie mark."

Starlight lifted her shoulders as she wrote. "He hasn't found his life's purpose, at least as a pony. It's probably for the best. Gaining his mark mid-transformation could make reversing it more complicated. At the least, he'd probably keep the mark." She paused and tapped her chin with the pen. "Good thing you tend to cover your flanks anyway."

I smirked at the idea of Kevin getting a magical tattoo for the rest of his life. "Would that do anything, besides make for awkward conversations at the beach?"

Starlight hiked a brow. "To be honest, I don't know. It may do nothing, or... a lot. Who could say until we try?" She looked towards Kevin. "Do you want to try that?"

Kevin shook his head as he started towards an exit. "Let's get some lunch, and we can pass on those experiments until we get somewhere more steady than a U-Haul across the country."

"Precisely what I thought." She jabbed her journal with the pen. "I want to come with you, let me try this."

I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. "This is another spot where we could mess up in an easily predictable way. Rather than you trying to transform here in the front, I motion we slip into the back where we can close the door and keep any light shows from drawing all the wrong kinda of attention. Speaking of which, Starlight, what will you wear?"

Starlight pointed at me. "You have more than one set. I can borrow one of those, can't I?"

"I... there's no promise we'll be the same size."

Starlight's brows lowered. "Says who? I'm the one deciding that. Your idea is good, so you'll carry me into the back, and I'll have you right there to make sure I get the dimensions right. I'd want to have the target species there anyway without full comprehension of the anatomy involved."

I reached out and gave Starlight's nose a thwip, which got quite an expression as she covered her snout with her hooves. "Calm down, princess. You're not in charge here. Kevin, you grab us something to eat while we give this a try."

Kevin looked ready to complain, but I wasn't having that. "You had your daily dose of nude women. Let Starlight have some privacy."

Author's Note

It's time to get some lunch! And maybe make human Starlight? How many typos await in this new spell?

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39 - Action in the Back

I pushed down the door, sealing us in the gloom of the back of the van. Starlight's horn lit up, banishing the gloom away as she set her little spell book aside. "Shall we begin? I learned this spell from Twilight, really. It's technically usable without study, but I prefer to hedge my bets."

I gave the briefest chuckle at that. "You were just messing with Kevin, weren't you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe a little. He enjoyed it and I know the type. He would have fit in nicely in my old town." She thrust a hoof at me. "Unlike you. You don't like not being in charge. Even when you aren't, you're always looking for a way to turn the situation around. I've been watching you, my student."

I bumped Starlight up a mental notch for perception. "This isn't going to become a fencing match, I would hope?"

Starlight cocked a brow. "I should hope not. Only one of us even has a weapon. Let's start." Her horn began to glow with a weaving spell. She ran a thin line over me before she let out a soft breath. The glow swept over her body. "Here goes..."

She floated into the air, buoyed by her magic as the glow increased to a glaring light. Moving to the back had been a wise move, I felt. Her legs began to shed their fur. Her legs extended, reaching towards the ground as their shape changed as if made of warm wax to fit that of a human. Her hooves split down the center, then branched, becoming fingers. Her cute little ears withdrew to the sides of her head and lost their fuzz even as her snout pulled back in to a more human face. Her tail drew back into her and she began to gain the curves of a healthy female adult. Her exposed skin changed in color tone suddenly, perfectly matching mine.

The glow faded away, leaving us in dark. "Did it come out right?"

I couldn't see to be sure, so I pulled out my phone and got it to glowing. There she was, a naked but properly formed Starlight. She still had her mane style on her hair and her cutie mark was emblazoned proudly on her hips. "How do you feel?"

Starlight reached out a hand, then the other. She patted herself down lightly, running fingers over her long legs. Her hands raised up and she might have become bewildered a moment at the idea that she had breasts in entirely the wrong place. "I think everything's in the right place, for a human. It's... colder than I expected. Can I have some clothes?"

I left the phone where it could shine light for the both of us and quickly fought my way through the piles to get to my clothes. I dug out some informal wear and tossed her a bra, t-shirt, panties, socks, pants, and shoes. "Do you know how to put all that on?"

She didn't, but she was too proud to not get to figuring it all out. To her credit, she almost got it right... "Those go under the pants," I offered while trying my best to hide the expression that wanted to burst free.

A sudden knocking on the back door had both of us jump in surprise.

"It's Kevin, everyone decent?"

When given the all clear, he pushed the door up, then paused. "Huh... Wow, not bad, Starlight. You're... like Linda's sister."

I hadn't considered that, but who does, really? I never met sisters that weren't twins that didn't think they looked different, and even then some times. Still... "I bet that's because she used me."

"Precisely," agreed Starlight as she sat on the back edge of the trailer and nursed on her soda. "It's nice to be able to be in plain view without being terrified. I just have to get used to... this."

Kevin hauled himself up to join us. "Hey, Linda, how did you get used to being on all fours?"

I took a bite of my egg-burger. "I cheated. Near as I can tell, I was time-sharing with the ghost of the pony I was switching with, and we got a bit of each other all over the other. I could fire his bow, and walk, and basically live right, and he went and started enjoying the wonders of email."

"Email?" Starlight snatched some fries and gobbled them up. "What's that?"

I pulled out my phone from where I had just tucked it away and turned off the flashlight I had left on. "Here." I showed her the list of email I had waiting. "It's like regular mail--"

"But electric," finished Starlight with a smile. "Your lightning magic is something else, allow me to repeat. Now what is this about pony ghosts?" She raised a brow. "There isn't any such thing, so far I'm aware."

I could only shrug at that. "Real or not, he was there for me." I didn't dare mention he had approached me looking like Kevin with kind words while I was losing every marble I had. "He's a part of me now. He went off to... whatever ponies do after they die."

"Nothing." Starlight shook her head.

Kevin blinked at that. "Ponies are atheists?"

"Athiwho?"

I held up a hand. "Do you believe in any higher power?"

"Higher power? Oh!" Her face lit up. "You're talking about Harmony. Twilight's a big believer, and I must confess it's hard to argue it when you look at her life. If there is a Harmony, it's clearly looking out for her and her friends."

Kevin pointed at her between bites of his own food. "You're one of her friends."

"True..." She took another bite but didn't swallow for a long moment. "Things taste different, though I suppose that's to be expected. I wonder if meat tastes better now..."

The idea that ponies were happy with simple oblivion had unnerved me a little, not that I was particularly religious, still... It clashed with the pastel innocence I had associated with ponies in general. "You don't have anything after death at all, no theories?"

"Not really?" Starlight frowned a little. "All the more reason to make sure your life is good the first time through, it's all you get. Now that's enough morbid talk. Now that I can explore this world without immediately causing a panic, I want to do just that! You mentioned you had planned to see interesting places and I can only imagine my presence has fouled that up, well, no longer. I'll come with you."

Kevin's doubtful expression brightened to optimism. "That sounds great!" He pulled out his own phone and got to tapping at it. "The next stop's actually an alien hot spot, ironically enough. I couldn't resist stopping through some Area 51 kind of places."

"Area what?"

I patted Starlight on the shoulder. "Kevin is going to bring us to a place where the people like to talk about aliens they didn't see, while we bring an alien we did see. Earth only has one species at the top, so we're lonely and always looking for others, even while we're terrified of what will happen if we do find something out there."

Starlight shrugged a little. "That sounds a bit silly, but fun. I'm up for it." She hopped down, and crashed. They flopped right down to her hands and knees in a graceless display. "Oof! Hang on, I got this..." She climbed back up to her feet, wobbling. "Practice is the only cure."

Kevin slid down with less flopping involved. "Your turn to take out the trash."

Pfft, fine. I got to gathering up the debris and hurried off to the trash with it so we could get on our way. When I got back, Starlight and Kevin were in their places. She was all buckled in and looked like she belonged there much more than a colorful pony would. Just that hair... It wasn't as if a person couldn't dye their hair that way, but it was so bright and vibrant.

Women would kill for such perfect lines and bold hues. Not me, on the other hand. I was happy with what nature gave me. I pulled the door shut and buckled in and off we went towards our next little adventure.

Our journey was interrupted by the faint haze that we all recognized as Twilight's presence. "S-starlight?" We couldn't see her, but she could clearly see us. "You're--"

"--Human," finished Starlight. "How do I look?"

Twilight was silent a moment. "You look fine, Starlight, but what happened? You didn't cha--"

Starlight cut her off, "--I used the same spell you did."

"Oh! Oh. I didn't even know you read that one. That's a complex spell, congratulations. Well, good news. I... went ahead and informed Celestia of what's going on and she's authorized a visit to the mirror portal storage. She says there are a few that aren't tuned yet. I'll borrow one and we can get it aimed at this world."

Kevin got a little grin. I knew exactly why and reached across Starlight to give him a poke. "No visits to ponyland until we've finished settling in."

"That would be wise," agreed Twilight. "We'll want a nice stable location to aim at. Most such portals are attuned to solid immobile objects, but not always. For easy example, all the portals in Equestria use literal mirrors, which can be moved. It's safer, on our end. We can control our side of the portal, and we always know where we'll end up."

Starlight leaned forward towards the windshield Twilight sorta-occupied. "We're going to explore some human cultural exhibits."

Twilight sputtered before she appeared, her face dominating the windshield. "What?!"

The wheel wavered with surprise before Kevin recovered. I took a soft breath. "The law, Twilight."

Twilight backed away quickly with a squeak. "It's just... I want to see this! Starlight, as my student, it falls on you to take diligent notes, at least, please!"

Starlight wriggled her new fingers. "I can't promise, seeing as I haven't had any experience writing with these and I can't use magic right now."

Twilight's sad cry echoed across universes. "Please at least try... I should go. Good luck." The haze that was Twilight faded away.

Starlight gave a little laugh. "That was entirely worth it." She dug out the pen I had lent her. "Seriously though, I'll try to get some notes down for her. She's adorable and I don't plan to let her down on purpose."

Oh god... "Did you just say adorable?"

Starlight blinked. "Huh, not the word I would typically use. She's adorkable is what she is." She got to clumsily making scrawls with her human fingers.

I reached over and put my hand over hers, showing her how to move her fingers to hold the pen properly. It was more interesting than staring out the window at least.

Author's Note

We're on the road, with someone we can actually be seen with. Yay!

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40 - Alien Visitors

Starlight stepped free of the truck with only a little help before she did a circle in place. "You really can feel the sun against your skin, can't you? It's... odd, but nice."

Kevin and I were giving relieved stretches for being freed from the moving van.

Before us was our destination. It had a huge fake alien with a bulbous head on top, waving hello. Behind it was a UFO made out of scrap metal. A sign proclaimed we had found 'The next best thing to Area 51!', which I doubted, but was amused enough to want to see more. "Kevin." He looked over. "Thank you, again. I would have missed all this if not for your idea."

He gave a thumbs up. "It's too easy to get comfortable in your safety zones."

Starlight reached for the sky a moment as her eyes wandered curiously. "Now, I may have some experience, but I'm still not quite up to the task of proper note-taking. Can I ask either of you to lend a hoo--hand?"

Kevin produced his phone. "Even better. I'll video the whole thing."

"Video?"

So Kevin showed her, turning the phone towards her as she blinked. He flipped it around and repeated the video he just made of her startled reaction. She burst into laughter. "Oh! I know that spell!"

"It's not a spell. It's--"

Starlight waved it away. "Yes yes, your lightning magic. Very good though, that will do nicely."

I moved towards the entrance. It seemed we were the only ones there at the moment, gauging from the empty parking lot. "Let's cut down on any talk about magic or spells, especially here. St--" I frowned. Was Starlight a good name? Actually... "Congratulations, you're a hippy now."

"What?"

I went back to the van and dug around until I found the wreath of flowers I had won at some company function. I threw it over Starlight's head and it draped about her shoulders perfectly. "A hippy." I threw her a peace sign. "Like, far out, peace and good vibes, man."

Starlight blinked softly. "Like Fluttershy's friend?"

Kevin burst into laughter. "Yes, exactly her! She's the hippiest pony I know."

"I can do that..." said Starlight with a frown before she half-lidded her eyes. "This place is, like, totally messing with my energy fields."

I nodded. "Perfect. Welcome to your first human attraction, Starlight." I let her wander ahead and leaned towards Kevin. "Fluttershy's friend?"

"I'll show you later," he assured even as he worked to get an image up.

And there she was. She was the image of pony free peace and love. She was amazing. "Wow." Beneath her was the title, Tree Hugger. It was a perfect name for a perfect stereotype.

"You two coming?" Starlight had her hand on the door's handle. "Let's see what's inside."

We hurried to catch up and headed inside. It was not air conditioned and was stuffy as a result. Simmering in baking clear ovens were various artifacts from alien sightings and supposed alien encounters.

The guy at the counter was more enthusiastic that day. "Hello! Are you two sisters?" He looked between Starlight and me. "We have a sister discount."

"Then we're sisters," declared Starlight without hesitation, taking the advantage she could get. She reached over and hugged Kevin to her side. "And here's our brother. You have a family rate?"

The man laughed. "You're a cold one, but we do." He pressed a few buttons on his cash register. "Welcome! Be sure to visit the observatory up top. We've had no less than five sightings this year by guests like yourselves. You ever see a UFO?"

Kevin moved to pay for that stop, surrendering his card a moment before we got three alien-themed tickets.

Starlight had already found a knick-knack. A necklace with a classic grey alien head, big eyes staring. "This totally fits my chakra," she proclaimed. "Can I have it?"

Swipe, went my card as I bought it for her. "Consider it repayment for the lessons you've been giving."

"Oh, we're hardly finished with those." She adjusted it, but seemed put off with how it hung. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "How do human females deal with anything hanging when they bump into things on their chest?"

Kevin snorted out a little laugh but had the sense to remain without words.

I put a hand around Starlight gently. "Just like ticklish fur, it's just a thing we get used to."

We roamed the site, scoping out the various curios they had available. The highlight was the 'authentic' alien under glass, half dissected. The plaque read that it was straight from Area 51. I doubted it immensely.

A new, but familar, voice spoke suddenly, "Does it give you the heebies?" It was the clerk from the front. "Figure it would, seeing one of your kin done up like this."

I arched a brow. "Excuse me?"

He hiked a thumb. "Don't take it the wrong way." His hand moved to give the vulcan sign. "I come in peace, and I hope you do too."

Starlight glanced left and right before she pointed at herself. "Are you calling me one of these things?"

"Are you some other kind of alien? That's cool too!"

Kevin put himself between the boy and Starlight. "Ease up there. This is Starlight. She's not an alien."

"Starlight... What a perfect name." He looked dream-struck. "I've seen her moving around. That's a human suit, right? This is so amazing!"

It was all going downhill uncomfortably quickly... "Look, we just want to see these kooky displays you have, then we'll be on our way."

"Is that the way hair normally looks for your people?"

Starlight reached up for her hair. "Is something wrong with it?"

That only made him smirk as if he had more evidence. Suddenly, Starlight stepped forward, looking deep into his eyes. "Alright, you figured it out."

His eyes went wide.

"But I need you to keep this a secret." She leaned in, nose almost to nose. "Keep this a secret and we will reward you."

"Y-you will?!"

Starlight gave a slow nod. "Oh, of course. We aliens have lightning magic beyond your comprehension, and others beside. You be good, and we will come back and reward you. But, for now, we're on a mission."

Kevin looked to me, but I wasn't sure if I should get in the way. The boy was being manipulated by Starlight quite well.

"W-what kinda mission?"

"A great migration," spoke Starlight honestly enough. "Here, to remember this by." She dug into a pocket and produced a single golden bit and pressed it to his hand.

He gasped with amazement. "I-I can't!"

Starlight tilted her head faintly.

"I know how this works." He pressed the coin back to her. "If I have that, the cops'll be busting down my door. No, um, you keep that, uh, good luck, alright?" He scooted off like he had narrowly avoided something dire.

Kevin shook his head as he stepped up. "Well, that was interesting. Maybe it's time to get a move on?"

We all agreed and it was back to the van to continue our great trek. That hadn't gone ideally, but it could have gone much worse still. "Starlight." She looked to me. "In the future, let's not go handing out physical evidence of our passing. You are an alien, after all. I promise not to hand any ponies any confusing artifacts either."

Starlight waved it away gently. "I had that poor little foal wrapped around my hoof, er, hand. He would have barked like a dog if I had asked nicely enough." Her eyes were on the passing roadside and they suddenly lit up. "A pony farm? What is that?" She pointed at the sign as it went past, bumping into me along the way.

Kevin, the one driving at that moment, helpfully supplied, "a pony farm is where they tend to raise and make available ponies, small horses. Not like you, Starlight."

Starlight rolled a hand. "Can we see it? I want to see what, uh, we look like. It'll be like witnessing ancient history and Twilight'd explode if I didn't get some evidence of that."

I could imagine Twilight's plaintive cry if we just passed it by. "We'll get the next one, I promise." I began tapping at my own phone to find the next horse or pony ranch anywhere along the route we were headed. "There's one just three hours ahead, a full on ranch." A few taps pulled up more details. "Full size horses and little ponies. That looks like a more interesting stop anyway."

"Starlight?" Kevin's eyes were on the road even as he talked. "Do you need to renew your spell or anything?"

"Good idea. When we get to the ranch, I'll stop in the back and do just that. We don't need sudden pony ears sending people into a panic."

I reached and flicked Starlight's little alien necklace. "The irony of you wearing that is getting to me."

Starlight just grinned at that a moment. "Delicious, isn't it? I figured since it was so clearly seen as fake, wearing one of these will make most ponies even less likely to think I'm strange."

We stopped for food before the ranch. There, Starlight ordered a traditional cheeseburger. "It's not any of the cows I know," she said to us, though it sounded more like she was rationalizing it to herself more than anyone else. "They're like the horses, right? They never evolved." It was a strange thing watching her taste it, then devour it when it apparently appealed to her human tongue.

Kevin shook his head. "So what kind of burgers do, uh, people back home tend to have?"

"Hay burgers are popular." Starlight licked her fingers clean, then grabbed at some napkins and got to wiping clean. "Fish burgers aren't bad either. I saw you had those, fish burgers that is. Not a single hay burger in sight."

I felt the urge and did not resist it. A quick search on the internet revealed the answer. "Hay is not toxic to humans, but is also not really digestible. It's just fiber to us, without all the gut bacteria that grazing animals tend to pack, like horses."

"Bacteria?"

Kevin shook his head. "That's a more complicated tale than we should probably get into. Suffice to say some animals can enjoy plants, and others are more limited. You wouldn't feed a pet cat hay, right?"

"I suppose not..." Starlight's musing expression brightened. "That makes sense enough." She picked up her own trash and even reached for me. "It's my turn."

I wasn't complaining and let her grab it all up. "That's nice of you."

Kevin hiked a thumb at the van. "I'm going to go gas up." And off he went to get that done.

I watched Starlight as she dumped things away. She was getting better at moving her human body around by good leaps and a steady stride.

Author's Note

That was an interesting little visit.

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41 - Down on the Ranch

When we pulled up into the parking lot for the ranch, one thing jumped out at us. This place actually had customers, or at least a lot of workers. There were plenty of cars in that lot besides ours.

Starlight hopped out, covering her head with her arms. "Already starting to pony up, as Twilight used to say. Be right back!" She hurried around to the back.

"What'd I used to say?" asked the sudden shimmer of Twilight's presence.

Kevin made a placating gesture. "So you told her about the girls in Equestria High?"

There was a brief delay. "Your knowledge of my life is still unnerving... It's a good thing you've shown yourself to be a pony with good intentions thus far. What about them?"

I undid my buckle and stretched upwards. "She's reapplying her human spell, and we're about to visit a horse ranch."

"She is taking notes of all this, I hope?"

Kevin flipped his phone out and pulled out a video of some of the things we'd seen at the last stop. "I'll be sure to get some good footage from here too."

"What a clever idea! I should have thought of that... It's easy to forget the magic of other races. Well, I won't keep you. Tell one of my quasi ancestors hello for me." The glow of her faded from the windshield, and we stepped out into the warm sun.

Starlight was there, looking less worried about showing off her equine attributes. "Is that them?" She was looking at a few horses milling around in a field in the distance. One was grazing on grass while another two seemed to be playing and cavorting. "They're not that different."

Of course, they were also very far away. "I imagine your tune will change once we get close to them. A horse and a pony are not the same creature."

"Not by a long shot," agreed Kevin as he looked around. "That looks like where we want to go." He had found the building that looked like the office and we headed over there.

Starlight's nose danced. "It's difficult to remember they're... animals."

"So are we," I countered. "We're just more polite about things."

The office had a distinct 'wild west' theme going on, clearly for the enjoyment of the guests, such as ourselves.

When we entered, there were two cowboys chatting about something. The younger of them, perhaps in his mid-twenties, waved the older off and turned to us. "Welcome! Now this looks like an interesting sight. No offense but none of the three of you look like you're serious equine handlers."

Starlight put her hands on her hips. "Appearances can be deceiving. I've handled more equines than I bet even you have."

"Oh ho! Some fire, that's good. You'll need it when they throw you to the ground. Are you here for riding lessons, trail hikes, just to browse, or are you signing up for a full vacation?"

I wasn't sure if I was entirely comfortable with his rough and tumble attitude. "Excuse me, but what kind of place is this?"

He lifted his shoulders. "That depends on who you are. We try to tailor the experience for the guest. If you're new to horses, we can take it light and easy. On the other hand, we pride ourselves on offering small group sizes and advanced hikes for those that are comfortable. We won't get up to a full gallop, afraid there are a thousand liability issues, but we won't have you head to tail at a snail's pace if that's not your speed."

Kevin let out a relieved chuckle. "You had me worried a second there."

"Why?" Starlight hiked a brow. "I want to see the horses, if you don't mind?"

"Just looking, riding, short, long?" asked the man. "Come on over here, we'll sign you up for something little missy. You said you have experience with horses?"

"Certainly," said Starlight with confidence. "Walking, trotting, cantering, galloping, I've done all of those."

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Easy there, Starlight. We're just visiting for today, so no extended packages. I think a tour of the pasture and the stalls would be more than enough, really."

"Starlight?" He set down the brochure he was about to show. "Well, if it's just a tour, we can do that. Fifty a head for a private, spontaneous, little tour. As it turns out, I have the time free today, so yer in luck there."

Out came the card. A car trip was not a cheap alternative, do not be fooled by anyone who says otherwise.

Starlight had her eyes on the prize, or rather the horses she could see through the window. "How do we begin?"

"We do what many cowboys have done through the ages, we walk." He grabbed a length of rope and some gear that looked liked it was for a horse and got to moving out the door. "This way." He led the way across the gravel to where it turned back into grass, moving directly for the horses closest to us. "Hard to miss you eyeing them. You want to say hello?"

Starlight got quite the grin as she danced ahead. "I do!" Her eyes only got wider as we came closer and closer and it became clear those horses were massive creatures. One of them trotted up towards us. It was a mare. I knew that instantly. I blamed my pony half.

She gave a little querying wicker. The oddest part, I understood it. Not like words. Horses did not have words. But I knew she was basically curious about us. She was relaxed and seemed to be alright with our presence.

Starlight looked over the great mare. "You are a large one, interestingly built..."

"Interesting?" Our host sounded confused. "She's a classic is what she is. One of our best." He reached up and patted her on the side of the head and the pony returned the affection with a little nuzzle and began sniffing at him hopefully. "Sorry girl, no sugar cubes today. Yer on a diet." She snorted with disappointment, then looked back at us.

Kevin stepped closer with less certainty. "Hello, girl. Does she have a name?"

"Black Zephyr," offered our host.

Starlight reached up and made her own little nicker of a noise. I could understand it as well as the horse. She was basically just greeting it, saying she was peaceful. Again, there were no words there. Emotions were all that were conveyed. Emotions were enough, and the horse allowed her presence. Soon Starlight was giving that horse a gentle hug. "This is amazing..."

"You say you're trained, and you have her relaxed like a pro, but you look like you're surprised by the whole thing." With a sudden vault, he was on the other side of the fence. "I'll get her tacked and we'll see how you do." He slipped the bit into her mouth and soon had the rest of the bridle in place. He grabbed a saddle that was resting on the fence and tossed it on the horse on top of a cushioning blanket. "Now, she's a good girl. You treat her nice, she'll take you for a smooth ride.

Starlight tilted her head a little. "Do we need all of...that?" She gestured at all the bits of leather and metal that made the horse ready to ride.

He blinked at Starlight like she was from outer-space. "How else are ya plannin' on riding? Did you have a pony as a girl or something, rode it bareback? You musta been spoiled something else. That ain't even good for the animal. No, here we don't do that." He hiked a thumb at the saddle. "If ya were trained on a pony, she may be a bit tall fer you. Can ya get up?"

The first obstacle was the fence itself. Starlight pulled herself up and almost fell right over the top. Fortunately, our host caught her before she could crash to the ground and had her back on her feet. He was laughing at the whole thing. "Ah'm gonna hope you ride better than climb. Here, let me help you up."

He offered a spot for her foot, then hefted her right up onto the horse, and almost off the other side, but Starlight grabbed on tight and pulled herself straight with a loud sigh of relief. From atop her mighty perch, she looked around with a grin like a giddy little girl.

"Watch it, ya look like a real greenhorn." He grabbed Black's reign and passed it up towards Starlight. "Get her into a little walk."

Starlight did not pull the reign. She reached forward and patted Black on the withers and head, making those quiet little sounds. She was giving some impression of movement, but it wasn't making the horse go at first until Starlight did, half by accident, give the proper tug. "She's very well trained..." commented Starlight with an impressed tone.

Kevin was videoing the whole thing as Starlight led her equine ancestor in a slow circle.

Another of the horses, a gelding, came prancing up to Black Zephyr and nipped at the mare without warning. Black gave a loud whinny of annoyance and looked ready to nip back at the male. Our host was moving to intercede, but Starlight was talking them down. Not actual talking, of course, but she was.

It was impossible for the host to not notice. "Where did you learn to deal with horses? Ya don't know how to handle the reigns, but calming them down, that you got down pat. Shoot, I hearda people just talking to 'em, but ah ain't never seen the like up close before. I usually just give 'em a quick swat across the nose."

Starlight bristled at that. "Why would you hurt one of them?"

"It don't hurt them none," he assured. "Horses can be physical and violent creatures. Ya just saw it fer yerself. A nip like that could have one of us hurt real bad, but to a horse it's just annoyin'. Some of 'em react best to a quick show of what they did not bein' appreciated none."

Starlight shook her head. "Well I don't plan to hit Black Zephyr here. She's a perfect mare. Aren't you? Yes you are." She spoke like a proud parent to their child and began stroking the horse along its mane, fingers dancing to scritch at the hide beneath the fur. "Where do you get them from?"

"Get what? The horses?"

"Yes. Where are they from?"

He raised a brow. "We breed 'em. Ya see, when a daddy horse and a mommy horse--"

Starlight colored a bit. "Y-yes, I know where foals come from. So all of these horses are foals of other horses you've had?"

By that time, I had found the way into the pen that didn't involve hopping the fence, but I didn't charge in there. Those were horses, real horses. I didn't quite trust myself to just wander among them and assume everything would be fine. He had invited one of us to go riding, not all three of us.

"Most of 'em. We got a stud on loan, but the rest are all ours."

"Stud on loan?" Starlight looked perplexed at the very idea. "Why would you want to borrow one of those?"

"Why not?" He shrugged. "He's got good genes, a real champion lineage. He'll help our mares make good foals. We're hopin' to win a few tournaments if we keep at it."

Starlight looked ready to object, but, to her credit, she swallowed it. "Thank you for letting me meet her."

He helped Starlight reach the ground and gave Black a fond pat on the side of her barrel. "She's a good girl. I wouldn't trust any other mare more than her to treat a guest right." He turned to Kevin. "You wanna go next?"

Kevin started with surprise, as if he hadn't actually considered try it. "Oh, uh, I'm the cameraman."

He didn't take a no that easily. "Come on. One of the girls can hold that a second while you give it a try. We'll take it easy, promise."

I offered to take over camera duties, if only to see him in there, and soon he was up and over the fence. Starlight was grinning at him as he came, "Just take it easy. She knows what she's doing."

"That's pretty good advice. You're not jumping or doing anything tricky. A horse knows how to walk, just let her do it and don't fall off." He helped Kevin up onto Black. "Now take hold here." He offered the reigns. "Failing that, grab the saddlehorn and keep your balance, but that shouldn't be an issue."

"I... god this is high..." Kevin was led along by the cowboy. As they went, his nervousness began to melt bit by bit. "This is kind of amazing."

"Ain't it? How 'bout we try a little faster?" With his own little nicker, he swatted her side and asked her to go into a canter, and she did faithfully, jostling Kevin in a new way as she circled the field with him.

The host came back to us, leaving Kevin to go for the moment. "I think he has it for now. So, what brings you hereabouts, just like horses?"

I nodded as I kept the phone directed at Kevin. "That's a fair way of putting it. We have a kinship you could say. We wanted to see them up close, instead of in pictures."

"What, a power animal kinda thing?" He raised a brow. "You're not the first, believe me. Most of 'em freak out once they realize what a horse really is. Still, yer posse seems to be handling it just fine. Wish all my tours were this smooth." He gave a sharp whistle and all three horses, including Black, turned and began ambling over to him. He petted each gently on the snout. "Alright, that's enough circling the field. Ya wanted to see the stalls, right? We'll take them in with us. It's about time to switch out the horses."

I hadn't gotten a chance to ride, but I wasn't really complaining about it. Watching them had been more than amusing, and I was ready to move on to the next stage in the tour.

Author's Note

Oh... oh my... I thought I was far from the goal, nope, far overshot. I hope it's liked!

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43 - A Treat for the Senses

And so there we were, at Coyote's Grill and Saloon. It seemed our trip was destined to enjoy some Western aesthetic, and I was alright with that. The air was thick with the smell of smoke, the kind you get from roasting meat, and the meat itself. The waitstaff all looked like they could wander onto a period-piece show without causing a stir, and we had a nice spot by the window.

Kevin was looking comfortable, and I was with him, but Starlight looked just a smidge nervous. "How do you do it?" she asked, cocking a brow.

He shrugged. "Do what, eat an animal?"

"Not that." She rolled a hand. "I've done that before, but a whole place where that's the point, where you can smell it... It's... strange, like being next to a murder in progress. I mean, sure, intellectually I know they're not going to hurt me, or anyone I know, or even anyone I'd recognize properly as a 'person'..."

I reached across the table and put a hand on hers. "You're a vegan trying meat for about the first time. I've read that can be an awkward time. If you don't like it, don't hesitate to say so. We're not here to force you."

Offering a way out seemed to relax her. "Thanks, but I'll make it." She winked suddenly. "Imagine Twilight's horror if I just let this go past without getting a full report?"

"Hello there," came the voice of our waitress as she slid up to the table. "Welcome to Coyote's Grill, where we have all kinds of meat, but no road runners, sorry."

Kevin snapped his fingers. "Shoot, my dreams, destroyed."

Starlight didn't grasp the sarcasm. "Are you out of them?"

The waitress laughed softly. "There ain't any road runner farms around that I know of, so we're just plain out of luck. Nice hair, missy. I really dig the colors."

"Oh, well, thank you." Starlight was blushing a bit and smiling at the compliment. "This is my first time at any place like this, so I'm really not sure what to get."

"You can't go wrong with the Texas-Certified Ribeye! It's big enough to satisfy a horse and tastier than most anything else."

Starlight blinked softly. "That sounds... nice, sure, I'll try that?"

"How would you like it prepared?"

I cut in there, putting out a hand. "Well done." I didn't want to take any chances with her magically altered pony guts. "I'll have one of those too, and let's get a big order of fries and a salad for the table."

Kevin raised a finger. "Who am I to go against the crowd?"

"Alrighty, one Ribeye for the lot of ya, all well done?" Kevin made a lowering gesture. "Medium well for the gentleman. Anything to drink?"

I kept it simple. "A water's fine."

"Sprite," piped Kevin with a smile.

Starlight wasn't so sure. "What are the options?"

The waitress snagged the menu and flipped easily to the drink section. "We got all kinds of things to wetcher whistle."

Starlight peered at the selection and I could see she was falling quickly into choice paralysis. I raised a finger. "She'll have a Sprite too."

"Alrighty then. I'll have the appetizers and drinks out first, just a moment." She took our menus and wandered off.

"That's one of the sodas, right? Which kind?"

Kevin made a wriggly motion, likely trying to imitate bubbles. "Clear, lemon-limey. I like it."

"Sounds nice. You two didn't have to get what I'm getting, you know. I'm sure you have your own favorites already."

Kevin waved it off. "Nah, one of the better slices of meat, and there's something nice about sharing something, even if it's just a choice of plate."

I smiled at that. "That's a really sweet way of thinking about it. He's right." My eyes returned to Starlight. "We're sharing something, together. I feel like we've grown closer, as friends."

Kevin looked suddenly dodgy.

Starlight surprised me by noticing, and even acting on it. "What's wrong?"

Kevin threaded his fingers on the table. "Nothing. We settled this before, and I won't be 'that' guy."

I had a pretty good idea where he was headed. "You know it's the right thing."

"Y-- Do I?" He leaned back in his seat. "Look. I'm one hundred percent going by your word. You don't want something, I don't want to push it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, right? We're getting along just fine."

Starlight glanced between the two of us. "Did I miss something?"

I could spin an awkward deflection... Or hope Starlight was an adult. I decided on the latter. "We were dating for a short while. It was fun."

Starlight cocked a brow. "Didn't work out?"

Kevin sighed. "Not the way you think. We got tossed across the country and now she's my landlady and she's trying to avoid awkward conversations later."

Starlight got a grin suddenly. "Looks like the awkward conversation found you anyway." Her eyes went to me. "Look at you."

"Me?" I started. "What?"

She lifted a fork to point it at me. "Getting involved with ponies, breaking the heart of your own stallions here. You are quite the player, aren't you?"

I felt heat rising in my cheeks. "It's not like that! I'm not even--"

"Should I inform Princess Celestia?" Starlight leaned forward. "All the rumors are quite thick around that. Have you two... you know...?"

Kevin colored. "You've been with Celestia?!" He went awkwardly silent, realizing he'd just raised his voice. Fortunately, not many people were paying him much mind.

I held up my hands. "I would answer that, but honestly, it's neither of your business."

Starlight leaned back. "Perhaps not, my student, but I don't see a lot of other reasons for you to spurn him." She hiked a thumb at Kevin. "You two get along well enough. If you're not saving yourself for Celestia, and I'm not entirely certain how that works with you, what are you doing?"

"Here we are." The waitress was back and set out drinks for us and a big bowl of fries for the table and an equally large bowl of mixed greens with some jars of dressing to go with. "Let me know if you need anything at all!"

We thanked her and Starlight snagged a fry. "This I know." She got to chewing with a pleased expression.

I wasn't quite as much in the mood with the conversation we were just in the middle of. "Look, Kevin, this could turn out--"

"Yes, it could." He took a few fries himself. "A lot of things could go wrong. But if you don't even try, what's the point? I'll be cool if we take the shoot and it goes off-course, that's life, right? But just never taking it, it's like we already missed without trying."

"Now you sound like an inspirational poster." I let out a little breath as I finally gave in to peer pressure, taking a fry myself. Not bad.

He quirked a smile. "That doesn't make me automatically wrong. We can go as slow as you want, or even stop, your call. Hell, I know who wears the pants in this relationship."

Starlight cocked a brow. "What does fas-- That's a figure of speech, isn't it? Are pants the traditional garment of leaders?"

My dour mood was shattered by our alien visitor. I laughed even as I answered. "That's about right, yes." Heck, I was wearing pants that day. Jeans to be specific. "Starlight, have you been in a relationship before?"

She colored faintly. "Once... But I hardly think it counts."

Kevin looked intrigued. "Why not?"

"It was... during my low period..." She served herself some salad and scattered some vinaigrette over it. "While I owned the town, I was the most eligible mare there. I had a few offers... I took one. It was... It was fine, for a while. We didn't have that much to bond on, and I let it go."

I spied something and frowned a touch. "He was too far below you."

Starlight flinched. "I hadn't thought of it like that, but maybe that was part of it? I wasn't in a good place at the time. There wasn't room in my heart for friendship, let alone true love. I hear he's got a new marefriend now. I hope it works out well for him."

Kevin put a hand on the table. "Don't throw that at me. We're not direct reports or anything. I do marketing, you're legal. Unless we literally get the same job at the same place, someone's going to make more than the other. That's just how that works."

I cracked a smile at him. "And in this white picket dream of yours, would you be the one that stayed home and watched the children?"

Kevin looked stunned, stung even. "Woah, that's skipping ahead a little there."

Starlight looked between us. "Have you two...?"

I shook my head. "We haven't more than kissed, Starlight, not that this is your business." I spied the waitress returning, burdened with food, and smiled. "And it looks like lunch is officially served."

Author's Note

All that and we don't get to watch Starlight nibbling on steak? Hax! Typos!

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44 - Second Life

As it turned out, Starlight was alright with the food when she didn't focus on where it was from, especially interspersed with greenery and potatoes as she went.

The conversation moved away from relationships and on to food and the trip and how long it'd take to get to California. Kevin slid his phone onto the table. "We're making great time, relatively. We'll be crossing the mountains in not too long and from there we get to enjoy Californian traffic, which I'm told is a special level of hell."

"It can't be that bad," I scoffed, to which he immediately swiped over to a page detailing all the ways driving in California can be 'fun' and what special treats await those who dare. I scanned over it, amazed. "I stand corrected."

Starlight clasped her hands together. "When we arrive at your new home, it will be nice to be myself again for a while."

Oh, right, there was that... "You'll want to avoid all windows and not answer the door while you're doing that."

Starlight waved it off like it was nothing. "I understand and I'll be careful." She waved a finger back and forth between us. "Now about your issue." I tensed. "I saw that. We're not sitting on this. You want to claim to be an adult, we face our problems head on." She smiled with the look of inner-vindication. "Someone once forced me to do the same. I hated every moment of it, but it worked out in the end and I was grateful, so consider this passing it forward."

Kevin prodded what little was left of his steak. "Alright... if Linda's open for it?"

They were both looking at me. Lovely. I bought some time. "Let me ruminate on it a little. This is a new idea, all over again. Tomorrow we'll 'face it', alright?"

That seemed to settle them, for the moment. We paid for our meal and continued our journey Westward.

That night I awoke in a new place, or was it an old place? I felt the snug grip of the stone and heard the soft bell of the stand I had been placed on.

"Announcing!" came the sudden sharp voice of a pony. "The arrival of True Shot!"

I started in surprise, then began to shake myself free, only to see there were a lot of ponies watching me. I was back in court, being stared at by what I guessed was most of the nobility in Canterlot, plus Celestia.

Celestia sat atop her throne, looking regal as ever. Her horn lit up and lifted me from my stunned mess over to a seat. "Good that you could join us. We were hoping to make use of your unique perspective."

I was set down next to another stallion who tipped his floofy hat at me. "Afternoon."

I nodded in return as I shook free the flecks of stone. "Hello."

"There are those," continued Celestia, "that think we should be much more strict in how we handle those coming and going from our kingdom."

A clop came from the benches and I saw a refined mare stand. "It's unacceptable that we don't even know who's a citizen or not! And if one of them breaks a law, who do we even report them to afterwards? It's unacceptable."

Oh... How timely. I was brought before a discussion about how to deal with troubling foreigners. I raised a hoof.

Celestia smiled at me. "True Shot, you have a thought?"

"Well, first, I just want to be sure this is actually a problem." There were gasps of indignation, but that hardly surprised me. "Do we have any record of how many crimes are committed by non-citizens vs citizens?"

Celestia's horn began to glow as a scroll floated up beside her and unfurled. "As it turns, I did have such documentation produced while preparing for this hearing. Creatures that are on vacation or business trip are, by and large, law-abiding. The most common disruption comes from differences in law between their home nation and ours, and is usually resolved peacefully."

I rolled a hoof. "I gather some people just walk into Equestria."

She let out a sigh. "This is true. Equestria's borders are far too wide to reasonably even consider trying to--"

"You haven't tried!" complained the mare from before. "You just see a large job and assume we can't do it. Is moving the sun the only troubling thing you can handle then?"

Noises of shock and alarm rippled through the crowd, some surprised anyone would say anything like that about Celestia, others murmuring timid agreement.

Celestia spread her wings. "It is not I who makes your laws, that is why this is a discussion. As a discussion, I would thank you to show some manners befitting your station."

I rose to my hooves, a scowl over my chiseled featured. "As I was asking, do we have numbers on the behavior of these undocumented visitors?"

Celestia's head turned back towards me. "By all reports, most, but not all, come peacefully. I should like to think that most people on this world, pony or not, prefer peace to the alternative. Equest--"

"Listen to her!" barked the mare from before. "As if we hadn't been stomped by some foreign centaur thing not that long ago."

Kevin had showed me that one, just as an example of when the show could abandon all fluffy roots and go wild. It was hard to forget. "Would having a border station have stopped him? I doubt that. You are trying to solve supernatural problems with mundane means, and that isn't going to work."

She turned to me directly. "And what would you know? Some forgotten relic of ancient time, you know nothing of modern governance or its solutions."

That mare... She was quite a piece of work, but she wasn't entirely wrong. It wasn't like I was trained in governmental anything. Still, in for a penny... "I have watched a country pour seemingly endless funds into protecting its borders and patrolling its streets for the 'foreign menace'. It is a war that never ends. It only drains the wallet and demoralizes everyone involved."

"Fine," she practically spat. "I'll play along with this ridiculous prattle. What would you have us do, savior of forgotten days?"

Shoot. A solution... "Well... If we want to assume most people are here for nothing more malevolent than finding a job or seeing the sights, why don't we just encourage them to be documented? Greet them with a warm welcome and usher them into the system with kindness instead of trying to keep them out like sand on a beach."

Celestia's face became approving. She clearly liked the idea. "That sounds like a very pony idea." There were some murmurs of agreement running across the crowd. "There are ponies in most major cities that take great joy in greeting strangers. We could train them to document and properly integrate lost souls into Equestrian society."

The mare looked incensed, but sank to her seat with a thump. The others around her were too busy discussing the specifics of the forming initiative for her to not see her case had been lost that day. She shot me a withering glare a moment before she turned up her nose.

After court was adjourned, Celestia approached me. "I must apologize. That's twice now I've put you on the spot, yet, twice now you've risen to the challenge admirably." She leaned in close, eyes on my level. "Are you trying to impress me? It may be working." She smiled radiantly and turned away. "I requested you be brought back from Ponyville and they put you on the next train despite you being asleep at the time. I would have preferred you were given some warning, but Twilight said something about you being unreachable at the moment."

I began to walk alongside her. She was larger than me. I had to take notice of that. She was maybe thirty to fifty percent bigger than me, but then she was bigger than most ponies. She was a horse among them. "I would have liked that too, but here I am."

"Did you enjoy your visit?" she asked. "I hear you mean to earn your own living. That's very like you... You did not enjoy accepting gifts without reason before..."

I had passed another test without trying. "I don't need to be on pony welfare. I have a talent I can use, so I'll use that, and maybe make some ponies happy in the process. That'd be nice, right?"

"It would," she agreed.

She sounded like she wanted to say more, but she didn't. My bow itched lightly and I remembered Luna's words. Celestia had waited years to feel the prick of an arrow and be forced to speak clearly the feelings she kept bottled up. Besides that, I wanted that ambiguity dispelled. Did she like me? Did she like like me?

Even as I mused over that, my bow floated free and an arrow was drawn back.

That was when I was tackled. A guard was on top of me, roughly pinning me to the ground. "I have him, your majesty. Are you alright?"

Celestia reached and gently tapped the guard on the back. "Let True Shot up, he's harmless."

I scrambled back to my hooves the moment I could. Part of me was quite peeved at being tackled, but on the other, er, hoof, I was wielding a bow beside their princess, so I likely deserved worse.

Celestia looked amused by it all. "Were you going to shoot me?" she asked. "Who would you see if I was compatible with?"

I gave a big horsey smile. "There's only one way for you to know."

"Playing coy?" She went silent a moment, then nodded. "Do not make me regret this."

The itch became unbearable. She had given permission. It was time to fire! I drew an arrow back almost without thought and she gave a soft gasp as it pierced her supple pelt. I sent another flying almost straight up, to turn around and land right on my own back.

Everything faded away. Everything, that is, but Celestia. She was the only thing left.

Celestia looked at me, becoming equally lost. I was her everything as she was mine. "You confusing stallion," she breathed. "You dance in the skin of my old friend, but I know you are not he. You wear it well... too well. You are everything... Everything I thought I wanted... Is this right? Is this... What would he say?!"

I was shocked, my heart thundering in my chest. "I... spoke to him."

She was on me, almost taking her turn to tackle me to the ground. "What did he say? You will tell me everything!"

Her magic pulled at me, but I didn't want to be anywhere else but near her, so she needn't have tried as I moved with her to a more private place.

We had so many things to discuss.

Author's Note

Welcome back to Equestria! Now let's get you a green card.

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45 - Between Sheets

I was there, sitting on Celestia's bed. It smelled faintly of her where soft perfumes and soaps had failed to entirely remove the hint. Of course, there was also a Celestia on it at the time, so that might have been skewing the results.

"What did he say," she asked. "You must be honest."

That addendum brought me right out of my happy place. Of course I would be honest, but why would she say that? Unless... "Are you not affected?"

Celestia recoiled just faintly, barely a hint. "I must know, the truth of it. If... he would be... Please, tell me."

I could hear little traces of emotion in her words. She really wanted an answer, and I had little reason to withhold them in the end. I reached out and put a hoof on her chest, an act that was so much more innocent among ponies. "He helped me, even if he was the cause of the problem. I think he found peace, and was able to pass on. He told me that ... I told him that I kissed you."

Celestia went tense at that. "And his response?"

I smiled. It had no hope of matching True's expression of utter peace before he had faded away. "He looked so... content, fulfilled, and he faded away. I think... he was happy that he finally got you that kiss you had deserved long ago."

Despite her training, a trail of moisture dropped from one of her eyes. "True Shot..." Her horn glowed as she whisked the moisture away. She was recovering, quickly. "You are not him," she stated firmly.

"I'm not," I admitted. "I am me, and I hope that isn't a bad thing?" I perked an ear at her even as the other went off to the side. "He said it was my life to have. I haven't lied to you yet, and I don't plan to start." Despite that, I moved to step down from the bed. "I won't insist on being here."

Celestia's golden magic surrounded me and gently lifted me right back onto the bed. "Then what do you see?" She pointed at herself. "When you look at me, what do you see?"

The sudden turn of the conversation had completely ruined the arrow's effects. I wasn't feeling compelled to speak, but I still had little reason to try to deceive Celestia. I only had myself in the way, though that was plenty enough for many people. "I see a mother of an entire nation who isn't even divorced. She never had a husband, but not for coldness. You are a goddess to your little ponies, so where can romance come from?" I was rambling a little, I'll admit.

Celestia returned the chest tap. "Are you here out of sympathy then?"

I considered that and quickly decided I wasn't. "To be honest," She perked up. "You annoy me." She frowned. "You put me in tense situations and test me constantly. My every move is something to be weighted, considered, and judged upon. You are also a very kind ruler, caring of your people. You are also large and pretty." The second more confirmed by my new senses, but she did have human aspects that I could agree were finely shaped. She had lovely eyes, and her mane was enchanting. Her hips were inhuman, but large and broad, promising...

"And now you're leering," She pointed out, shaking me out of sizing her up physically. "For being born a mare, you are easily attracted to the form of another. Was that your leaning before you came here?"

Did Celestia just ask if I was gay? "That question has become amazingly more complicated since this began. I still prefer the company of those of the opposite sex of whatever I have. It's not that I never experimented, I'd be lying if I claimed that."

She leaned forward, the sweet scent of her breath washing over me. "So then you would not be offended then, should I request you express these feelings you have as a mare would another mare?"

What was she... oh... The briefest laugh escaped me.

She didn't find it funny. "I am not ready to enjoy the company of a stallion just yet."

I waved a hoof at her. "This is a sudden jump. We should get through the dating step before discussing how to use this bed." I tapped on the soft mattress. "But, just to set your mind at ease, it was my opinion as a human that it's better when the female leads the way in these things and that opinion has not changed."

Celestia rose from her seated position. "You are correct, of course. That was inappropriate of me to even ask."

I could see her closing up on herself, and moved to wedge a hoof in there, metaphorically. "So we're dating?"

She blinked at me. I had gotten that hoof in, and she was stuck, realizing that door hadn't shut as she had planned. "I... If you thought you were being examined before, once word gets out that we are courting, that attention will make all prior seem tame in comparison. You will be beset on all directions."

That much seemed very true, on the other hand, er, hoof... "I'm never going to be 'just another stallion'. You've already made sure of that. We've come this far, let's give it a try." I rose up to stand but didn't step off the bed. Instead I approached her as she watched me intently.

I leaned in for a kiss. Her lips were trembling, her body tense. She wasn't refusing though, most importantly. I felt the silken touch of her lips.

I blinked my eyes open to see Starlight standing over me as a pony, looking down at me. The profanities that coursed through my mind were many and thick. "Starlight... give me a reason that I shouldn't be angry with you."

"She's awake," called out Starlight before looking at me. "It's time to wake up. Don't be angry at me, I'm just the messenger." She hopped down from the bed easily. "You were mumbling more than usual. Was there something going on in Equestria? Is everything alright?"

I felt my cheeks warm as I became quietly glad that I didn't outright speak what I said in Equestria. "I just had to talk to Celestia."

Starlight blinked at me. "Did she come to Ponyville?" I shook my head as I got to prepping for the day. "You went to Canterlot?! When? Our lessons are not complete!" She sounded quite upset about it, following after me as I got ready for the day.

"I didn't ask to go," I assured her. "I woke up in the middle of court, and the day only got more interesting from there."

Kevin emerged from the bathroom. "All yours." He hiked his thumb behind him as he went and I hurried off to take my turn. There would be no communal bathing experiences that day.

Soon we were piling into the moving van, Starlight back in her human form, and off we went, heading for California.

"So, Celestia huh?" Starlight was looking aside at me. "What'd she need?"

That got Kevin's attention, but he didn't say anything, so there I was, with both of them waiting for my reply.

"There was this big talk about undocumented foreigners."

Kevin burst into laughter. "You're joking, right?"

Starlight was less amused, and more confused. "I didn't know that was a problem."

"It was, and the ponies were in quite the tizzy about it." I gave a little shrug. "In the end I suggested they just welcome the new folk with a big smile and then document them properly, so everyone's kept track of, without any of the hostility."

Kevin gave a soft 'huh', "Well, that doesn't sound too bad. So, what, Equestria doesn't have a job market to protect?"

Starlight only looked more confused. "Job market?"

That was not my favorite topic, but it kept attention squarely away from the time I spent with Celestia alone, so I happily moved along with it. "A job market. Alright, let's say you're Pinkie Pie for a moment." Starlight laughed at that. "Just pretend. You know how to bake, you want to go bake for somepony, and you don't have the Cakes there yet, so you start looking for a job, right?"

"Right?" She clasped her hands. "There isn't a market you can go to 'buy' a job."

"It's a metaphor. The number of available baking jobs is the market. Now if some donkies come in from out of country and they're willing to bake for less bits, then maybe they get all the baking jobs, meaning there aren't any left for Pinkie. That would be a job market problem."

"That'd never happen," scoffed Starlight. "I get the idea, in theory, but you're forgetting how ponies work." She tapped the side of her head. "We are herd creatures. We like being around things that look like us. Same tribe best of all, but another pony is almost as good. If a baker wants to succeed, he'll pay the extra for Pinkie because she'll bring in more customers and more loyal customers, than a donkey ever could."

Kevin glanced aside. "I did not expect that, but that's awesome. From a marketing perspective, that would change things. I mean, it does kind of apply to people, but on other levels, not so much? People like seeing other people of the same basic ethnicity, but we don't have other sentient life to compare against, and sometimes people react well to fictional creatures."

Starlight blinked. "You have fictional characters baking cakes? I want to see that."

"No! No, in advertising."

"Oh!" Starlight smiled with understanding. "That's different. Drawings are not the same as real ponies. Hmm, bet there's a spell to do it though... Imagine that, a cartoon greeting people who come into your store..."

I rolled my eyes at that. "Possibly amusing the first few times, but it'd be just a gimmick in the end, especially if others caught on and played copycat."

Starlight's attention slid to the front. "We're ascending. Are these the mountains you mentioned? They're very nice, as mountains go."

As if on cue, the haze of Twilight's presence appeared. "Linda?"

"Right here." I waved from the passenger seat. "What's up, Twilight?"

"Oh, good. Celestia said you vanished at the worst time and we were worried something might have happened."

Yay... "I'm fine," I assured. "We're getting close to my new house."

"That's fantastic news," came Twilight's eager voice. "I'm ready on this side when you're all settled in. I trust Starlight's being good?"

Starlight squinted at being spoken about. "I can hear you, you know."

"She's been an angel," I promised.

Twilight surprised me by not being surprised. "That's great to hear. Have a safe trip, and I'll talk to you when you're either on this side or in your new home."

Author's Note

That wasn't awkward at all. How do we deal with these typos of life?

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46 - California Here We Come

When we officially entered the state, it wasn't nearly as spectacular as some immature part of my brain required. There was a border to cross at least. A friendly-enough guard was there to make sure we weren't bringing any pests or other invasive species into California. All three of us were wise enough to not mention the most foreign of species we had with us.

He inspected and searched and even scrutinized, but we weren't carrying much that fell into the living or edible categories, and he found nothing alarming. "Nothing personal," he assured. "California's a heavy agriculture state, we don't need new pests tearing through things. You look good. Enjoy your stay!"

"We're here for keeps," assured Kevin as we pulled away with friendly waves.

Starlight gave a little shrug. "Boring, but straightforward. I thought you said I should be concerned about the attention of law-enforcement here?"

I glanced at the rear-view mirror and the shrinking image of the inspection station. "He was looking for bad food, plants, and things like that. They don't train him to look for aliens. Most aren't. So long as we don't do anything really ill-advised, we're fine. The biggest problem would be if he asked for your identification."

Starlight put a hand on her chest. "I am Starlight Glimmer. That's not so hard."

Kevin snorted in a fit of laughter. "They'd want more than the name you gave." He reached into a pocket, the other keeping the van moving straight. He produced his ID and handed it to Starlight. "Here."

She held it up curiously, felt it with her fingers, then flipped it over. "Everyone has one of these? This wouldn't be too... hard." She flipped it back over and held it up. "Give me an hour, tops, when I have my horn and we'll have this settled."

I did not like the sound of that. "Even if you imitate it perfectly, on the physical level, the numbers it shows are all stored elsewhere and whatever ones you make up won't stand up to scrutiny."

She extended a finger upwards. "Be that as it may, I don't plan to be under scrutiny, and having one of these that can pass casual inspection is a step towards that. We won't give them a reason to look harder."

Kevin seemed impressed. "You are a little too good at this."

Starlight smiled, pleased with herself. "Wherever you are, there are rules to the game. If you don't like them, you change them. The trick is in doing that without causing a commotion. I'm not likely to get a real one of these." She waved the card lightly. "So this is the next best thing."

I wanted that card, but I wasn't a unicorn, so it didn't just float over to me. "Be careful with that. We'll have to get new ones for California, but until we do, that's what we have, and getting started without that is a pain in the butt."

Starlight gave a soft noise. "So this isn't valid for here?"

Kevin lifted his shoulders. "It works fine, but if you're not just visiting, you're expected to get a local version."

"Well, I am just visiting, am I not? I'll use this one. It will match better with our cover story. I'll be an alien, just not that much of an alien." She flipped the card over, then tucked it into a pocket. "I'll return it once I've made my copy."

My phone suddenly began ringing with the melodic little jingle I had selected. Starlight looked curious, but was quiet as I fished it out and swiped to answer. It was my boss, I could see that before I did so, but that was auto-pilot. It was only after the call connected that my thinking brain realized who I was speaking to.

"Linda? What's your ETA? Everything going smoothly?"

"Hey Boss," called out Kevin.

"That Kevin? Am I on speaker phone? Nevermind, I guess that means things are alright?"

"Everything is alright," I assured. "We are officially in California. We could make it to the new house if we do a marathon drive today, which I'm seriously considering to get it over with."

"Fantastic idea. I want you in on the office tomorrow. We need to hit the ground running. I know you're both curious about what you've been hauled across the country for, and tomorrow is the big reveal, so get to your house, settle in, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Well... crap. He didn't wait for a reply. The call was ended.

Starlight saw my discomfort. "Not as you planned?"

"Not even slightly," I sighed out. "GPS says we'll get there late at night, then we'll get not enough sleep and be right at work the next day. Far from what I had in mind, but I don't get to say no on this one." I tossed the phone onto the dashboard. "Let's focus on getting there and get what little rest we can."

"Sorry." Kevin tapped at the steering wheel as he went, looking quite sheepish. "I guess maybe I should have let you fly."

"I'm a big girl," I assured. "I can make my own decisions. Besides, the trip was great." I put a hand on Starlight's shoulder. "We got to show our magical guest around, see all kinds of interesting things along the way, and even get to know each other a little better. I'm not going to let work retroactively make it a bad decision at the last minute. We'll keep our eyes on the road and push on."

Starlight's eyes wandered towards the steering wheel. "I could drive for a while, to give you two--"

"No, thanks." Kevin smiled nervously. "If anything happened, that would be an immediate cause to check your identity thoroughly. Not to mention you don't know how to drive."

"It doesn't look terribly complicated." Starlight crossed her arms. "You just keep that pedal down there pressed to go faster, and use the wheel here to tell the wagon which way to go. Done."

I felt an easily avoidable bad end coming on. "Starlight, I know you could do it. You're a smart woman, clever and adaptable. Neither of us doubt you. You could do it, just, please, don't. We'll make it, and thank you for offering, that was nice of you."

Kevin quickly agreed, "Bet you'd have this thing under control in no time, but let's not risk drawing the wrong kind of attention. Even the smallest deviation while driving one of these things can get you the wrong kind of attention, and they will check that ID, and fake ones will not cut it, period."

The traffic began to get thicker as we pressed into the state. The hazards that we had been instructed to avoid were starting to crop up. It was another world, full of drivers that seemed to live under their own rules. We played it safe as we adapted and sweated out the few close calls we had. None of them were actual accidents, just moments of heart-pounding nervousness.

I had been hoping to take a nap or two on the way, but I was too worked up.

For lunch, we gave Starlight a break and we all had a big salad of various types and dressings. She didn't say so, but I was pretty sure she was happy with a meal that didn't test her resolve. She still ordered a batch of fries to go with it. A guilty pleasure? Either way, we ate up and got right back on the road.

Though more populated, the stretches between cities weren't that different. Long reaches of roads with little too special to see on either side.

Kevin sighed from the passenger seat. "If we weren't suddenly in a hurry, there's a thousand interesting things to see on the way."

"Don't worry about that." I smiled as I kept things straight. "We live here now. We'll have time to go see things."

Starlight suddenly got a sly look. "Because you two are going to become special someponies."

Oh god. "Now isn't the--"

"--There is never a 'good' time," countered Starlight before I finished. "This is a time. Tr--Linda. Do you like Kevin?"

Ugh. I was being relationshipped by a magical horse lady. I could have tried to deflect her some more, but she would be there. He would be there. She wasn't wrong. There was no 'right' time for that kind of chat.

I sighed. "Yes. Kevin is a very nice person."

Starlight's brows lifted together. "Nice is one thing. Do you find him physically attractive?"

Kevin looked quite awkward at that, even if I could only see him out of the corner of an eye. Still... "Yes... I always thought he was a looker, long before we ever got to know each other."

Starlight got quite the grin. "Then I see no reason for you not to proceed. You are both mature adults. If it doesn't work out, deal with that like adults, instead of hiding from the possibility." She leaned closer. "Like foals afraid to try a new food."

The sublime burn of her statement made me grip the wheel of the van in a deathly vice. I wanted to lash out at her, but that was an immature desire. I stomped on it, mentally. She wasn't wrong, just being a bit acidic in the delivery. I counted to ten in my head, perhaps 3 or 4 times before things started to settle. "Thank you, Starlight."

"My pleasure." She tapped Kevin on the shoulder. "Your turn."

He let out a little laugh. "You still owe me that flower-tasting date."

Starlight blinked. "What?"

"I said you'd get to watch me struggle with pony foods."

Another blink. "Huh, so you did... When Twilight gets that portal up and going, I'll give you a tour." She peeked over at me. "This brings up another topic I know you'd rather avoid."

"Can we not do two in a row?"

"Afraid not." Starlight shook her head. "Kevin, Linda here leads two lives, which you are aware of, yes?"

"Yeah?" he asked uncertainly. "What about it?"

I knew where this was headed. "What Starlight said is right. I have two lives. I go to sleep, on to life two. I wake up, back to life one. Kevin, I am currently romancing Celestia." There, I said it. If he hated it, our 'thing' would be over before it even began. That would be neater than a sloppy breakup for sure.

There was quiet in the car.

"Really?" he finally asked. "I understand you're a stallion in there, but Celestia? How'd you pull that off?"

That was not the question I expected. "You're not jealous, disgusted, offended?" Or a thousand other words.

"Jealous, yes, a little. I mean, I'm not, god..." He put a hand behind his head. "I'm not sexually attracted to horses. But if you are one..." He squirmed to a new position. "I'd take the chance if I had it. I'd be lying if I said not."

"Right, so... you're alright with a potential girlfriend who is very much a male sometimes and might be doing depraved things with a magical pony princess?"

"Good luck?" he said awkwardly. "Let's put it this way. Those are your dreams. If you get angry at someone for what they dream, that's pretty messed up. So long as you keep things straight between us and aren't sneaking smooches while you're in the same reality as me, we're cool."

Author's Note

Stop being so adult about everything guys! You're gonna get us bumped to Mature by the mods.

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47 - Welcome Home

We powered through the state. We saw basically none of the sights and only stopped when hunger demanded it, or a bladder was fit to burst. It was already dark. The roads were quiet, and our heads hung a little. We were tired and ready to collapse.

But there it was. The house that I had seen as a picture was before us as a darkened structure. It was all ours. I dug out the key with a tired smile. "Let's have a peek at what will become our new home."

"Isn't it already?" asked Starlight as she hopped free of the van and wobbled with fatigue. "You own this, right?"

Kevin knew where I was going. "It's a house. Until we start making memories here, it's not a home. Hey, they got your car here." There it was, parked in the driveway and he gave it a little pat. "Good to see that worked out."

I was equally happy to see it, but I wanted to see the inside of the house more. I marched up to the door and slid the key in. It took a jiggle, but I had it unlocked and threw it open to reveal a darkened interior. Right... "We're going to have to get the utilities turned on."

Starlight stepped up gingerly beside me. "You have to summon the lightning magic?"

"Basically, yes. Do ponies not have electrical lighting?"

"Oh, yes." She nodded quickly. "I was thinking more wondrous things than that." She stepped forward into the darkness, feeling around as she went. "Can you do that?"

Could I? I pulled out my phone and got to doing a bit of research. It seemed PG&E serviced that area, so I gave them a quick call. "Hello?"

I talked to a kind enough operator that took down all sorts of information, did a credit check and more, but in the end, she said something that lightened up the day. "This address has remote turn on capabilities. Please make sure that any unsafe appliances are..." She went through a clear spiel she had gone through dozens of times before. "Your power should be on in under an hour. Thank you and I hope you enjoy your new home."

Kevin was taking things in from the van, unloading the lighter things as I dealt with red tape. "Any luck?"

"They can turn on the power without sending anyone out."

Starlight laughed at that. "Tell me again how you don't have any magic. You're so charmingly jaded."

Click! Kevin tried one of the light switches and we were bathed in blessed light. "Huh, that's service. Want to help move some of the heavier things?"

Oh, right, we were moving. Ugh... "To be honest, I want to pass out, but sure, let's at least get some softer things moved in so we can sleep on not-the-floor."

"I'll help," volunteered Starlight. "It's dark, could I, you know, go pony? A little magic of the unicorn variety would speed this right along."

Part of me tensed immediately. Something would go wrong. Something... "Let's avoid any magic where people could see it. We have no idea how curious the neighbors are and there's no reason to find out."

Starlight waved it off. "Fine, then I'll just help make things a little lighter but not actually lift anything. Just two people moving heavy things, nothing unusual there."

I was too tired to argue that. "Alright, but stay inside."

Her spell unwove and she collapsed to all fours, her clothing flopping all around her in a pile. Or rather, my clothes! Again, too tired to raise a fuss. She stretched out, naked and happy. "It's good to be normal again." She trotted close to the door and sat down. "Go on. I'll help as subtly as I can, promise."

Out we went, grabbing a couch near the entrance of the van. A faint glow surrounded it. It was barely anything. It was like a glow in the dark toy that was about to go out, but the difference was uncanny. The couch went from heavy and awkward to light... and still awkward. We held it as we walked to the house as if it were a long piece of cardboard instead of a solid bit of furniture. Once we got inside, Starlight's horn began to glow brighter as she took it from us and set it down in the living room. "We can move that later," she waved back outside. "Let's get the rest inside."

When did she become in charge? It didn't matter. I wanted to get it over with and get some sleep. With the help of our arcane visitor, we got things inside in about an hour, when it had taken so much longer to get it all loaded up. Having the bits and bobs reduced to 1/10th their weight did that.

When the van was completely emptied and Kevin's car rolled off the hitch, we let out a muted, tired, cheer.

I closed the door and flipped the deadlock. "Tomorrow, after work, I'll return the van."

Starlight looked shocked. "You're going to go all the way back!?"

Kevin had to laugh. "There are offices all over, including by here. We'll take it there. So long as you return it to a office, it's all good."

Starlight blinked slowly. "Wouldn't one of them eventually run out of vehicles then?"

I shrugged. "Too tired to google that, but I bet they just have to ship them around sometimes if a given office is running low."

"Huh..." She looked around the house. "You do have a nice place, but you only have two beds."

Oh... Shoot. I didn't want to be bothered, but having her sleep with Kevin felt wrong on a variety of levels, so I'd have to suck it up. "Come on..." I made a mental note to grab a futon or something later. "Unless you can get comfortable on the couch?" Please?

Starlight trotted over to the two couches in the living room, looking between them before she hopped up onto one and sprawled over the cushions. "This will do for tonight. Get your sleep."

I thanked the ten Buddhas and we all finally got some blissful sleep.

I heard the bell faintly, but I never even became aware enough to do anything about it. I was bleary and tired and... awake.

I sat up in bed, cellphone beeping angrily at the fact that it was time to get moving. I did not want to go to work that day. And yet, there I was, getting dressed. Fun Fact, the water had to be turned on too and I hadn't done that, so shower? Nope. We weren't getting any of that luxury.

Starlight followed us around as we got ready for work. "Can I come with you?"

I stopped in my tracks. "There is no reasonable way I can explain why you'd be there."

Starlight pointed at me. "People said we look like sisters, why not go with that? I'm a relative that lives in the area and stopped by unexpectedly."

Kevin patted Starlight's fuzzy head. "We shouldn't be bringing our family to work unannounced and without much reason. You'd get Linda in trouble."

I pulled my purse into place and felt reasonably ready to try and suffer through the day. "We'll be back as soon as they let us. With any luck, they won't be too deep into things and it'll be mostly briefing. You be good. You can listen to some music on the computer there." I pointed over to it. "We haven't got Internet service yet, so you're out of luck for today." Ugh, there were so many little things we had to take care of to make it a proper home.

She pouted, but she didn't try to pry much harder than that, and we were both out into our cars and zipping down new roads to our new office. I had thought the place I had come from was a city, but this place was a step up. Still a few steps down from, say, New York City, but there were more people, and more cars. Getting there was a lot slower than I was used to, but thankfully it wasn't far.

The new office was nice. Smaller, surprisingly. It was three floors up. It had an elevator at least, though it wasn't technically required.

As it turned out, our company didn't even own the whole building. We just had a lease on most of the second floor, which is where we got off, Kevin and I.

"Linda!" came the excited voice of my boss as he came over quickly. "Kevin! Good to have you both here. Let's not mince words. There's work to be done." He clapped us both on the shoulder. "So let's get to it. Linda, I had your computer and desk brought over, your office is right here." He waved to my place. "It'll feel like home in no time at all. We have an important client showing up in..." He looked to the clock hanging in clear view. "About two hours, so get to reading up. I need you ready."

He took Kevin away, talking excitedly about something more up his alley, and there I was, alone at my new office.

I wanted a nap, but there was no time for that. I slipped into my office and closed the door, quietly happy for the relative quiet and peace. There was my desk, and even my chair. I sank onto it and tension fled me. It was like I hadn't moved across the country at all. It was my chair, my computer, my desk... I was home...

I heard a little bell and jumped in my seat. Had I nodded off? I quickly got the computer on and checked the email to discover there was plenty to go through. I had a novel to soak in and little time. I was home, and home meant work. I threw myself into it.

Author's Note

The great road trip of '17 has come to an end. Back to work!

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48 - The Truth Unveiled

A little chime on the computer told me it was time. I locked it, stood up, and strode purposefully from my new office. I was in the zone. I was ready to tackle this project. Fatigue was entirely forgotten as I moved with that singular purpose down the hallways to where the meeting was scheduled to take place. I was not successful by being late, ever.

The room had a number and little else. I rapped the back of my hand on it. No answer. I opened it to reveal a sparsely appointed room. There was a single small table in the center with three chairs on one side, and one on the opposing side. Which side was I sitting at? There was only one person I was to speak to that day, so I made a choice and sat on one of the three. It wouldn't be hard to move if I was proven wrong.

Ah, there she was. She entered with two severely-dressed men, which had me switching sides quickly. Oops.

She smiled thinly. "A pleasure to meet you, Miss Frohein," spoke the director that Linda has just briefed herself on. She strode to the table with much the same purpose I had earlier and slid into the center of the three seats. She was flanked by the men quietly. "Don't mind them. They're just security."

Security? "We should be secure here, I'd hope."

"As do we all." She gave that thin smile again. "We have much to discuss, Miss Frohein. Thank you for coming such a long distance to reach us. We understand this was quite an inconvenience on your part, but there are only a few places equipped for this specific matter of investigation."

Investigation? That was not in my briefing at all. I thought we were discussing a potential merger. This was not going as I had planned at all. "We're... investigating the potential barriers to the merger, I imagine?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." She leaned forward, forearms on the table, fingers twined from one hand to the other. "Let's dispense with some of the... small lies. Every bit of intel we have says you are the key to our research. Your employer was paid quite a handsome fee to ensure your arrival." She pulled up a slim briefcase from the floor and slid it onto the table. "I should start by saying that you have committed no illegal acts, save one, which we are willing to forgive for your cooperation."

I had read enough books. I could guess where this was going. "You work for the government, or a shadowy business that works for the government, I assume?"

"Astute." She popped open the briefcase. "Yours is not the first case, though most were, at their respective times, dismissed as the ravings of a damaged mind." She pulled a single sheet free and slid it across to me. On it was a photograph of a horse. Not just any horse, a blue horse, with large eyes and wings. It was a pony. "I trust you know what this is."

It wasn't a question. They knew. They knew everything, somehow. I considered the options. I could try to be cagey. I could lie like it was going out of style. There... were few happy endings in either direction. If I worked with them, I was an asset, possibly a valuable one. "Is he alright?" I tapped the picture.

"I'm fine," said the guard on the left. With a flare of flames, he was gone, and the blue pegasus was seated in his chair, still wearing the severe tuxedo, glasses, and earpiece that the man had been. "Thanks for asking."

The women glanced aside at him, but did not seem startled. I was startled! I'd seen ponies. Heck, I saw them transform before, but not like that. He had no horn, so how was he even doing it? "You have a pony... on the payroll?"

"We have." She drew the picture back. "He's been quite the source of information, and loyal beside that. He's our first true alien to be nationalized. He is a citizen. Show her."

He drew out his ID. It displayed his human self. His name was 'Simulacrum'. What a name...

"So... What is it you're hoping to get?"

"Using Simalacrum, we have been monitoring the country for similar patterns. Pony 'magic' is a specific spectrum of radiation. It can be detected." She pulled a metal rod from her case and twisted it on. It made a few odd clicks, like a Geiger counter. She waved it over Simulacrum and it got a little more excited. "When he changes, it gets much louder for a brief period of time. Now, you." She reached across the table with it. I didn't fight it. It began to click and chirp as she waved it over me. I was radiating pony 'magic'.

"You gave our agent quite the scare."

Who? "Who?"

"The young man at the alien spotting attraction. That coin your associate attempted to hand him made his detector go black." She saw my confusion. "Field agents are given sheets of paper, like a litmus test. The more they are exposed to this radiation, the darker it gets. He avoided coming into contact with it, and reported the incident."

I cringed at that. "She wasn't trying to hurt anyone."

"We are certain she didn't. This radiation is harmless, so far as research has uncovered. Unless actively being directed, it does very little to anything." She steepled her fingers. "Your guest has been very polite, please tell us about her."

Oh... Oh... "Look, she just wants to go home. She isn't an invading alien or even breaking laws."

"She's broken one." The woman raised a finger. "She is an illegal alien. We could fix that... Tell us about her." She folded the suitcase shut. "I've seen the same movies, read the same books. I'm sure you're worried we're here to harm her, but that's not the truth. We are authorized to make judgments outside the direct supervision of the executive branch. Our mission is to apply the laws fairly to unusual would-be citizens and other foreign nationals."

"Does that apply to just ponies?"

"That's on a need-to-know basis." She raised a fine brow. "I'm sure you understand that. Under the current president, there's considerable pressure to have things... changed, but let's not get too mired in politics. Your guest?"

I let out a heavy sigh. This was not the way I planned to spend the day at all. Still, lying wasn't going to help. They knew her... "Starlight. Her name is Starlight Glimmer. She's a kind soul, curious about the world."

"And she's from their world?"

I put my hands on the counter. "As am I." She started. I surprised her, and that felt good in a petty sort of way. "I am the first dual-citizen. The sovereign of their nation knows me on a first name basis."

She frowned sharply. "You have a means of moving from one country to the other? You use it daily?"

At first, that surprised me, but I quickly reasoned they were probably looking for whatever Equestrian magic radiation was. I must have been putting it out every time I fell asleep. "Yes. It's not a voluntary action."

Surprise flickered across her features again, but she was back in control. "Not voluntary?"

"I... transition when I fall asleep. I lead two lives right now. In one, Linda Frohein, lawyer. In the other, True Shot, relationship counselor."

Simulacrum flashed a fanged smile. "You're a pony? Of love?"

The woman, Director Swanson, held up a hand to silence him. "There's no law against that," she said simply. "So long as you obey the laws of both lands, you are free to come and go. However, that means you are uniquely equipped to give us information to handle this better. We have little doubt that there are other members of their country scattered across the world. If you can help us deal with them, you would be doing them, and your country, a service."

I glanced towards the guard who was still silent. "Pardon, but is he one too?"

"No ma'am," he gruffly replied.

She nodded. "Simulacrum is uniquely adapted. Now, we don't want to entirely disrupt your living conditions. You are still employed, with the same title and responsibilities. Consider us a little authorized moonlighting. We will correspond with you, and you might help a lot of people."

There she was again, trying to appeal to my sense of goodness, maybe a little patriotism in there. "What's the pay?" I asked bluntly. If I hadn't committed any crimes, then payment should be standard.

Simulacrum seemed to approve, his grin growing wider.

Swanson produced a small envelope from a pocket. "As I imagine you have guessed, your new residence was not entirely launched by the benefit of your employer." She set the envelope within reach. "We are prepared to make an offer. Do you accept?"

I slid the envelope closer, popped open the flap and pulled free the slender slip of paper inside. It was on a formal header. Everything looked proper. I was being offered forty thousand a year as a consultant. As a lawyer, that wasn't a high-paying job, not at all, but the listed responsibilities were simply to 'disclose information'. It said any additional duties would be compensated for. I tapped that clause. "What other 'additional' duties, and how much?"

She shrugged lightly. "For example, if one of their citizens is disoriented and lost, we may need someone familiar with them to help settle them. If you succeed in sending Miss Glimmer home, access to that technology may be required. If this becomes a full-time position, the option to renegotiate is included."

I read over it. As it stood, it limited my weekly hours to ten. Ten hours a week for 40k? That wasn't nearly as bad. Still wasn't a lawyer's pay... It wasn't bad, mind. "Benefits?"

"Pension, medical, dental, vision. You would be an employee of the United States, with all the benefits thereof."

And downfalls. I had heard about the times people in similar positions were screwed when Washington decided to play with the budget. "Can I think it over?"

Miss Swanson stood up. "This is where I make a threatening posture about this, but this isn't a spy novel. We really do want your help, and you are a law abiding citizen. However." That brow went up. "Harboring an illegal alien can get you up to five years in prison. I trust you are perfectly aware of that. You are also aware that your guest is not a citizen. You are guilty. I doubt many judges would see it otherwise."

I was starting to really sweat. They had me. There weren't a lot of ways I could claim I didn't know Starlight was an alien. I had already given up that option in the conversation we already had. "But if I go along, this goes away?"

"Oh, not entirely. If we simply brushed it under a carpet, it would be waiting to cause trouble down the road. No, you would be prosecuted, found guilty, and sentenced. The gravity of that sentence would be severely reduced." She pointed to the paper I still held. "Consider it community service."

Simulacrum glanced aside at Miss Swanson, then me. "Do you know what I am?"

I didn't, and admitted as much. "A spellcasting pegasus?"

"Huh." He went quiet.

"Consider it. You have my number. Please do not leave the state before giving me a reply, and don't take Miss Glimmer out of the city or you will be guilty of alien smuggling in addition to harboring." Swanson made a gesture to come along to her guards.

Simulacrum became a man again in a rush of flames that didn't harm the chair he was seated on. They both stood up.

Like that, they left. I slumped against a wall. Had the whole thing with my boss being an extreme lie just to get me out here? How much did even he know? Should I tell him? Should I ask? Questions stormed through my mind. Life had just gotten considerably more complicated.

Author's Note

Well, shoot. Is this good news or bad?

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49 - Group Huddle

I moved for the door, half expecting it to be locked and a crackly voice to mock me for thinking I could leave, but, no, it opened easily. I walked down a hallway without opposition. My boss clapped me on the shoulder as I staggered past. "I don't know what you told them, but they ate it up! They said they'll be back next week. That's your job until then. You close this client like I know you can."

I looked at his smiling face. He really had no idea, or he was a far better liar than I ever gave him credit for. "It's my number one priority," I said truthfully, having a hard time imagining focusing on much else.

"I knew it wasn't a mistake to bring you here." He turned away. "I have to get this office in order. If it wasn't for that client, I wouldn't have bothered. The damned valley is too competitive on space alone, forget the rest." He was mostly talking to himself at that point, wandering off and stressing about logistics.

Ah, logistics. I missed wrestling with them. Could I get the office in order instead of... this? No? Damn...

I retired to my office, slumped into the chair, and rested my head in my hands. Everything felt thick and horrible. I tried to take slow and measured breaths. I had to get a grip on myself.

I don't know how long I sat like that, but the most timid knock came from the door. I glanced up. "Who's there?"

"'s me." came Kevin's tiny voice.

Did they do him over too? "Come in." My voice became more confident. Somehow I felt better. I could be strong for Kevin. He sounded like he needed it. As bad as I felt, I knew what options I had. He wasn't a lawyer. He had to have been scared witless.

Kevin scooted inside and pressed the door shut silently behind him. "Tell me they talked to you too."

"They didn't request I not disclose that, so, yes, they did." I sat up. "I got the impression being indiscrete about it would be being a poor sport, but you're involved."

"Are they going to grab Starlight?"

I felt a fresh wave of cold run through me. There I was, lamenting my own life, and I hadn't even thought about our guest. "I didn't get that impression. If she stays in the house, she's fine." Okay, it was time to take stock. "They have us. The only 'out' is to say we were forced, somehow. If we made Starlight out to be a monster we were afraid of, everything we did was, basically, in defense. It also throws Starlight to the wolves. I couldn't sleep with that option."

Kevin shrugged. "Not that they'd believe it. We weren't looking menaced, or acting it, or anything."

I waved it away. "She's a magical pony. If we wanted to, we could say she mind controlled us, but I don't want that. So we're guilty. If we fight hard enough, it gets worse."

"Worse?" He raised a brow. "How does it get worse?"

"Easy. Add smuggling. One for every state border. One count of lying to the California border patrol. No, we go that way, we lose. I could make it a huge mess." I gestured wildly, it helped calm me. "I could call newspapers and stations and be as loud as I can. Then they drag us away. Best case scenario, a combination of appeals and public pressure eventually gets us out. We'd still be spending time in jail. Our lives would be dashed. Depending on how they interpret it, they could take most of our things along the way. Smuggling's a nasty charge." I was speaking the facts, but it wasn't helping Kevin. He was going more and more pale.

I raised a finger. "Or. We move with them, and take them for what they're worth."

"W-what?" He put his hands down on my desk with a slap. "They don't want anything out of me but answers to questions. What am I getting?"

Ah, he wasn't as valuable... "You're mine." I reached and grabbed his hand. "They won't hurt you."

The shock of the contact seemed to upend his thought-train. He went a little rest, but mostly looked confused. "What?"

"First, they either have both of us or neither," I stated firmly. "Secondly, they need to pay more. A lawyer does not work for $70/hour."

"They offered that?!" It was clearly a very satisfying number to him. "Wait, for what? Linda, don't leave me in the blank here. They're giving you a job?"

I put a hand on my chest, the other still holding him. "I'm a dual-citizen, and a horse some of the time. They want what I know, and they want me to act as a go-between."

"You're an ambassador?!"

I blinked at that. "I'm not relaying messages from either government, so no. More like a friendly face at the border. Apparently ponies ending up here is not an entirely new thing. There's at least one more."

"Did they show you a picture?" He sank down to a knee to be equal with me. There wasn't another chair in the room.

I pondered a moment if I should give away Simulacrum. It seemed... rude. "I saw him. A blue pegasus. Not one I saw on the show before. Forget that. It's a serious proposal. We've shoved a foot into this, it's not coming out clean."

The door suddenly swung open, revealing the boss man. The words he was about to say were aborted as he surveyed the scene. There was Kevin, on a knee. We were holding hands.

He suddenly started to back away. "Excuse me..."

I let go of Kevin's hand and threw up both of my hands. "It's not... Look, I need him."

That was so the wrong phrasing. He looked mortified. "Um..."

"For the case," I amended. "I need him to close the deal."

Kevin scrambled up to his feet. "Y-yea. We were just going over some of the emails and there aren't any other chairs in here."

"Oh!" Boy did he look relieved. "We have plenty. They're just all in the damn closets. Kevin, with me." He waved away and led Kevin off to fetch a chair.

I slumped back a moment before I waggled the mouse and went to check my mail since I had said I was checking on it. There were new emails from the director waiting for me. She hadn't waited long.

It was a pleasure meeting you today. I apologize if I ended on a sour note. I'm used to dealing with far less savory characters than you. Allow me to re-emphasize that I wish to work with you and that you would be a valued member of the team.

PS: Kindly keep the sensitive details to yourself. You are permitted to mention you've been offered a position with us, and that it will not interfere with your current position.

I frowned a little at the email, and moved to the next. It had an image in it, and instructions to promptly delete it after viewing it. Some security. I was far from IT, but I knew the setup we had wasn't rated nearly high enough for government secrets.

With a soft grumble, I pulled up the image.

It was a foal. He or she, I couldn't tell from the quality of the picture, sat beside a window, looking out. There was pain in those eyes. They didn't look starved, and they weren't chained.

They were still a kid, stuck on a world that wasn't their own. The reason for giving me that picture seemed obvious. This was exactly the kind of pony I would be helping.

It wasn't fair...

That didn't mean I had to accept a demotion in salary over it.

I hit the reply button and got to typing.

Director Swanson,

You seem to be a professional, but you lack a bit of, shall we say, bedside manner? Along those lines, I have a request. If I agree to join your endeavor, I'm bringing someone with me. Kevin, to be specific, who I'm told you already met. He knows ponies about as well as I do, and would be quite eager to help them. He is willing to work at the agreed-upon rate of $70/hr, 10 hr/wk.

Onwards to the second matter. My education and experience commands more than that paltry sum. I'm afraid I must ask for at least $140/hr. Should you agree, I will bring my full legal experience to the table. Otherwise, I'm afraid we have little to discuss. Special circumstances or not, we are both professionals and I imagine you would not accept an offer for less than you know you could accept in good conscience.

Dutifully,
Linda Froehein

The rest of my usual signature was ready, and I left it alone. I smacked the send button with a sense of satisfaction. They'd either pay up, or I'd be off the hook, likely without too many hard feelings, or so I hoped.

Kevin and the boss returned and a chair was set across the desk from me.

I waved the boss closer. "I have some news."

"Oh? Is it about the client?"

"Exactly so." I smiled. "I think I have them in the right position. I went ahead and asked for the sale. If they take me, they're going to want both of our services." I gestured at Kevin. "It shouldn't get in the way of our usual business."

"Close the sale," he said firmly. "You do what it takes. If we have to let you out once in a while, so be it."

I wanted to know so badly exactly what they were offering him and the business. What deal was I closing as far as he saw it? "You got it. Kevin, you're with me on this."

"Right." He nodded firmly. "Let's go over the details."

"I look forward to hearing how it went." He tipped the hat he wasn't wearing and slipped back out.

"So..."

I turned the monitor towards Kevin, showing that foal whose picture I had not yet deleted.

Kevin gasped in surprise. "If that's a photoshop, it's a damned good one."

"That's who we have to help. You'll take $70 an hour, right?"

He sputtered.

"I thought you would."

He suddenly grabbed my shoulders. "I thought I was going to jail forever, and you're telling me I'll be being paid obscene amounts to help ponies?"

Obscene? Hardly... "They haven't accepted my proposal, yet. We have to wait for that. If it goes well, you become a government employee. You can keep a secret, right?"

"We just took a cross-country tour with a magic talking alien."

I lifted my shoulders. "I'm just saying. No talking about it, ever, unless we're told to. This is not for fame."

"I'll take the money," said Kevin with a smile. "What's up with the pony kid though? They look sad."

That I didn't know...

Author's Note

Panic levels are lowering. How many typos lurk in her proposal?!

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50 - Not Home

There was little resistance to my heading out. I had accomplished what I had been summoned for, and they didn't seem to need me badly enough to stop me from going home. I was exhausted. Can you blame me on that?

I was thankful I was leaving early, avoiding rush hour traffic, and pulled up to my new house. There were no police cars or other vehicles around. I counted that as a small blessing, but it proved nothing. Kevin's car was not there. They must have not been so kind with him.

I quickly made for the front door, slipped in the key and made my way inside.

There was Starlight, scribbling in a book with her magic. She looked up when I entered and smiled. "Welcome back. Ugh, today's been so boring, you have no idea. I'm glad someone's back. Why isn't Kevin with you?"

They hadn't bothered her, or so I quickly decided with some relief. I reclaimed my key and shut the door behind me. "The situation's changed."

She heard the serious edge in my voice and set her book aside. "Finally, excitement. What's the news?"

I pointed at her. "They know you're here, and by they, I mean the local government. They aren't moving, as you likely already know, but they are aware, and are using the fact that I knew about it against me."

Starlight hiked a brow. "Your government is far more strict than Celestia. You aren't in trouble, I hope?"

"That depends." I moved to crash on a couch. "I think I may end up helping other ponies that wash up here, on Earth, this planet." Did ponies call their own world earth? That would have been funny. "As for you, it means little, on second thought. No showing off as a pony, kindly. This hasn't been released to the public, so no need for panicked reactions."

"Hello?" came a muffled female voice.

Starlight and I glanced around.

"Linda? Starlight?"

It was Twilight. I got up as quickly as I could and searched for her voice. "Where are you?"

"Right here."

There she was. I turned the flat screen we had facing a wall around and there she was, in glorious 4k high definition. "There you are! This doesn't appear to be the vehicle. I assume you've arrived then? Is everypony safe?"

Starlight waved a hoof at her teacher. "Everything's alright, mostly. I've been spotted, but nothing bad is happening."

Twilight frowned. "I'm glad it's under control." Her eyes turned to me. "Linda, you gave Celestia another scare. Your bell went off, but you didn't wake up."

It had been a long day and I barely remembered the time. Bell? There was a bell... "I was exhausted last night, and still am. Maybe I half-woke up?"

Twilight nodded softly. "Proper sleep is important to anyone. I'll tell her you're alright. Have you picked a spot for the portal?"

Right, portal... "I haven't had a chance to even think about that. Give me a week to settle down before we go making any permanent decisions."

"Starlight?"

She waved a hoof at the idea. "I'll live. I'm not in any danger, and there are things to study and explore at least."

Twilight suddenly gave a devilish smile. "And you get to skip out on your lessons."

Starlight suddenly looked cagey. "What? No! I've been on an extreme course with two new friends who aren't even ponies." She pointed at me. "Tell her I've been good."

I couldn't help but smile. "Starlight has been a good g--filly. She's tried our culture with an open mind and been good company the entire way. I don't begrudge her being here."

Twilight seemed pleased by that. "That's great news. Oh! Here." She held up a curious cube and bumped it against the screen. "Right. Can you go get a puddle of water? Any reflective surface that isn't solid. Tell me when you're ready."

I suddenly realized. "I don't have the water turned back on. Dear God, Starlight, are you alright?"

She shrugged softly. "You had some bottles of water. I hope you don't mind that I took liberties with them."

I let out a little breath of relief and dug out my phone. "With any luck, they can turn it on remotely too, let's find out."

One long call later, I was scheduled for activation, but we still had no water.

While I was doing that, Starlight took the bottle she had been nursing and just poured it out into a bowl. "It's not large, but here we go."

Twilight vanished, only to reappear in the tiny surface of the bowl. "I think I prefer the other screen, but this will work for..." She shoved the cube object through with her magic and it splashed free of the water. "It's not suggested you try to move living things through this way, but for this, it's perfect."

Starlight picked up the cube. I was still on the phone at the time and just watched with curiosity. She swiveled it this way and that in her magic. "What is it?"

"Quite simply, a signal. Depress the indent on the side." She pointed, already having hopped back to the larger television screen. "Go on, try it."

Starlight reached out a hoof and tapped the button.

A loud 'clang' sounded through the screen and Twilight brought up another cube. "They're connected. When someone presses one, the other makes that noise. If I want to contact you, I'll press mine, then wait for the return before trying. If you want to reach me, be in a good place and signal me and I'll either appear, or return the signal, which means I'm not available at that moment."

Starlight flashed a grin. "Not as elegant as their lightning communicators, but a significant step in the right direction."

When I finally hung up on the water company, I huffed with relief. "We're getting water, but not today. While we're turning things on, it wasn't fair that you had to sit in an empty house with nothing to do."

"I'll let you handle settling in. You know how to reach me now?" I nodded. Twilight smiled and faded away.

Starlight gave a light toss with her magic, lobbing the cube into my hands. "I imagine she wants you to have it."

I examined it then. It was made of dull-grey metal. It was little more than a box with a button on one side. It was painfully simple, but it did the impossible. It talked across dimensions. "Did Twilight make this herself?"

Starlight shrugged at that. "I bet she made the insides. The outsides, she probably got some help."

It was small enough to tuck in my purse, so that's where it vanished into after I tested the button carefully to make sure it wouldn't be accidentally pressed. It needed a good solid shove before it even started to move. There would be no accidents from just jostling around.

Then it was right back to the phone! A quick search showed Sonic to be a fine provider of internet in the area, so I quickly ordered through them. "That's not instant either."

Starlight pouted. "Does that mean tomorrow's going to be another terrible day?"

Did it have to be? I was currently a reigning goddess in my office... "No."

Starlight brightened. "You look like you have an idea."

"I'm going to tell the truth in an untruthful way." I pointed at Starlight. "You're coming with me tomorrow. You're related to the client I'm currently assigned to, which is entirely true."

Starlight tilted her head at that. "There's another pony, and they're related to me?!"

"Not that kind of relation." I let out a tired noise. "They're the ones that want me to help them help ponies. They likely want to talk to you anyway, so I'm not lying in saying you're involved with them. That gets you in and explains why you're around, assuming you're alright being a human tomorrow?"

"I'll take that over sitting around here," she agreed easily. "Next topic, food. There isn't any. I trust you can fix that?"

I was the worst host ever. "I'm so sorry!" Just imagining poor Starlight, bored, sipping on her bottle of water, hungry, alone... It was like she really was a refugee desperately trying to avoid danger.

I wanted to go to bed, but that simply was not an option. The house had a fridge, and it was operating. We just needed food! "We're going shopping."

Starlight perked up. "For food, I assume? What sort of place did you want to eat at?"

"Here." I shook my head. "We're home now, my new home. It's time to start buying food to make here. You know how to cook, right?"

"Sure. I'm no expert, but I manage." She shrugged. "You want me to be human, I assume?" My turn to nod. Her horn began to glow and she rose up on two legs, shedding her fur and becoming that special kind of human naked instead of pony naked. "Let me get dressed."

The door opened and in came Kevin. He sagged back against the door, unaware of Starlight's presence a moment before he looked up. "Hey Lin--Starlight, why are you naked?"

Starlight put her hands balled up at her hips. "I was about to fix that!" She had no sense of decency about that. She didn't seem embarrassed, just annoyed at Kevin's question. "Welcome back. We were about to go shopping for food to make."

Kevin looked to me. "You told her everything?"

"I did, and she's coming with us to work tomorrow. She's of vital importance to the client's case, after all. Water and Internet are scheduled for activation, but for today, we have to rough it."

Kevin let out a tired laugh. "I'm more worried about the status of my pillow. You're lucky the boss let you go. They had a full day of work ready for me."

One thing bothered me... "Why did they drag you here?"

"Huh?"

"He had no reason to. He could have hired advertising slash marketing out here with a lot less stress. He said he brought us for this case, ultimately." I pointed a finger at him. "That means they had some reason to name you before this even started, and I want to know what that was."

Kevin looked clueless. "I led a fairly boring life, or did, then ponies, ponies everywhere. I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. Stressful? Yes, but I'm glad to be part of your life, and happy to have them in mine. Still, not a damn clue why they'd point me out, since I wasn't involved with them until after our great road trip. I mean, hell, when I spotted Twilight that time, we were already locked in for moving."

Author's Note

Is this a mystery, or a special form of typo known as a plothole? You know I won't leave it there.

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51 - Overdue Talk

We had food in the fridge, with plenty of water stocked to tide us over until we could stop living like savages. The house felt just a step closer to being a place I could call home. I felt... accomplished. Sure, we still had so many questions, but my fatigue was greater than even them, so I rest my head to sleep, and asked Equestria my soul to keep.

It obliged me.

I awoke to the soft bell and the feel of cool, comforting, stone. I missed being able to relax and listen a moment for hints of conversation, but I knew whoever was there would be aware I woke up. Stupid bell. Twilight, sometimes you are too clever...

I shook free of the stone to find myself parked at a table. Celestia was already at the same table, sipping tea and nibbling on a cookie. "Good morning," she called. "And it is, morning that is. You're really with us this time, I hope?"

I glanced around the large room. It was finely appointed and glittering. The food smelled great and my belly reminded me that I would like some. "Good morning," I echoed. The fatigue had faded from me, and I assumed I hadn't been disturbed while I was sleeping, but I wondered how close it was to waking time, in the human world. I hated not knowing. "Celestia, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to just abandon you like that."

"I know you didn't." She reached with a wing and brushed my side. "You live a troubling life, but I could say much the same. Twilight mentioned Starlight had been spotted, and they are aware of her pony status?"

That shook me. Twilight... She was adorable, and a pain at times. "She has. Actually... It seems ponies on my world are not as impossible as I thought it was." Talking about my 'waking' life while I was True Shot felt somehow wrong, just as talking about True Shot while I was Linda felt off. I kept things sane by keeping them seperate, but this was not a situation where that would be wise. "My government wants that portal, to send ponies home, but I doubt it ends there."

"Oh? If you have lost ponies, getting them home would be a high priority," she agreed. "I'm glad they see it the same way, but what more would they want?"

Oh god... "With the current administration, I imagine they'd want firm control over the comings and goings of it. Then they'd send people through to see what's there. They'd get a good look at your fertile fields--" She blushed. "--the other kind of fertile fields, dirty mare." I rolled my eyes. "Your mineral wealths. Given enough time, I bet they'd check for oil and uranium deposits. End result, if it looks easy enough to take, they'd make up a reason to come and take it."

Celestia stiffened. "You come from such a warlike place? You didn't give the usual... signs."

I let out a weary sigh. "On our world, our nations are kept in a sort of... balance, by each other. We have weapons enough to destroy the entire planet a few times over, and fear that anyone will start using them keeps everyone else from using them. On the other hand, what they do here won't be known by the other powers, and if they don't see a reprisal worth talking about among the colorful ponies..."

"The... entire world you say?" she asked, restrained fear in her voice. "You have... brought grave news. I thought we would be able to talk of more pleasant things, but I'm glad you brought this to my attention. It would have been a disservice to my little ponies to put this off even a moment." She stood up from the table. "Are they threatening you?"

"No." I stood up to stay at approximately her level. "I mean, they did, but that was just posturing. I'm fine. They want me to work with them, actually, to talk with the others and help get ponies where they belong."

Celestia shook her head slowly. "I have no objection with that, but it seems we will need to prepare a... show of skill for the first humans to pass through. More than that, we must make the first move."

First move? "You don't mean to attack, do you?"

"What?" She recoiled. "No. I refer to politics." She thrust a hoof at me. "You are singularly the best qualified. You are clearly a child of your world, yet you eagerly embrace this world. You are stuck between them. You love both, do you not?"

I nodded stiffly. "I don't want either to hurt the other. What am I qualified for?"

"You can be our spokespony. Not the last, but the first. One who can explain our world and speak on our behalf, but also who can bring their needs and desires to my ears directly. An ambassador."

Oh... Well crap. "That usually goes two ways."

"Hmm?"

"Ambassadors. If, and I didn't say yes, I were to try to approach the United States and proclaim I was ambassador from a country they knew nothing about, I see two problems immediately. First, they'd need to know, without doubt, that such a place existed, was large enough to recognize as a nation worth talking to, and then they'd likely want to have one of their own ambassadors here, to speak their opinions, make their demands, and so forth." My mouth felt dry. I was sinking deeper into a hole that had no bottom that I could see. "If I made a demonstration large enough to convince them, the entire world would likely know."

"That would be good, would it not?" asked Celestia. "They would all take an interest, and that balance that kept them from rash action would come into effect."

I sank to my haunches. I needed time. "Can I think about it?"

"You may." She stepped forward and leaned in. She pressed her forehead to mine, angled so our horns did not poke the other. "I cannot force you, nor would I want to if I could. You must do as your heart bids. If you take this task, you will be a hero to Equestria, less flamboyant than Twilight's tales, but no less important."

"I think I want to see Canterlot today." I rose back to my footing. "I want to see Equestria."

Celestia gestured for a door. "You may. Do you desire company?"

Part of me did, but... "I think I need space to think." If felt an urge and did not fight it. I suddenly darted forward and kissed Celestia on the cheek. "Wait for me?"

"Waiting is a skill I have," she said, a sad smile on her face. "Go."

I suddenly didn't want to. I wanted to grab Celestia and hug her until everything else went away.

That wasn't a very mature thought, and I knew it. It wouldn't solve a damn thing. "I'll be back." I trotted out and away, the door opening at my mental willing.

I trotted easily through the castle. The guards mostly ignored me, though some nodded as I went by. I wasn't an unknown there.

I emerged into the bright light of the outdoors, as Celestia had made, raising the sun earlier. I gave a soft chuckle, wondering what strange celestial events would cause the sun to be needed to be raised manually in the first place. The very idea was quite silly to what science I did know, yet there it was, and it worked for this world. I would be better tasked with figuring out why, instead of questioning the fact before me.

Wandering the streets of Canterlot, I breathed in the fresh scents, smiled at the people that went past, and for the first time in a few days, just enjoyed living and breathing. I remembered my wish to open a relationship counseling office and sighed deeply. If I accepted the task of being an ambassador, there would be precious little time for that.

Or for being a lawyer, come to think. By day, I would be a visiting ambassador. By night, a returned one, sharing what I had learned and keeping up to date with what Equestria needed. There would be no room for my old position. A little smirk played over my furry snout. There would scarcely be room for the Director and her wishes. Still, I'd see her. As an ambassador, it would fall on me to handle and assist exactly those sorts of things, even if just to help.

It was a mess. It was also my life. I could mope and whine, or I could take it in my hands... I lifted a hoof. That would have to do. I had to be the one deciding what I did, not just casually accepting what others demanded of me, no matter how nicely, or not.

With a sudden flash, Twilight was beside me. "There you are!" Her wings were unfurled. "We have so much to go over. Are you about to wake up?"

I glanced at my hooves again, but they seemed unchanged. "So far I can tell, no. What's wrong, Twilight?"

She folded her wings back to her sides. "What's wrong? You know the answer to that. I signaled you and got Starlight. She told me you were asleep so I hopped over to Canterlot Castle, where Celestia brought me up to speed and told me you had gone wandering off. You tell me, what's wrong?"

Oh the many ways to reply to that. "Ever have the world set on your shoulders unexpectedly?"

She gave a wry laugh at that. "You're talking to an expert." She extended one wing and pointed a hoof at it. "I didn't ask for these. I didn't ask to save the world over and over, and here I am. So... yeah... I've felt that before. I have and it stinks a little." She set a hoof on my chest. "But I did it. I'd do it again."

I was talking to a local hero. I smiled a little. "How did it feel, the first time?"

"Terrifying. The second time, also scary, but I had friends... You have friends too, don't you?" She canted her head a little. "Kevin seemed quite ready to be at your side."

"But he's a he." Twilight squinted. "Look, at least in part, he's hoping for romance."

Twilight shrugged. "Does that make him not a friend? The happiest married couples I know count each other as their best friends. Most of them were that first, friends. Then they became that and more. Hay... I'm jealous a little..." She tapped at her cheek. "I never really made time for that, and if one of the girls approached me for anything like that, I think I'd pass out. The one time I felt my heart prick up like that... I was on an alien world, being a slave to my immature hormones at the time for a male that was too young for the thinking me to even consider!" She let out a loud sigh. "Nevermind me and my romantic life. This is about you."

Author's Note

True and Twilight discuss the weight of being counted on. What should True/Linda do? Which path has less typos waiting for her?

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52 - Or Not

Twilight suddenly perked her ears. "You know, there is another option?"

"Yeah?" She had my full attention. "What?"

She shrugged. "We have control over this whole thing. We put the mirror among our more... dangerous collection and be ready to close it if things go poorly. Have you seen how large the mirror is?"

I hadn't, and said as much.

She held out her hooves. "On a good day, maybe two ponies could squeeze through at a time. If it's anywhere as dangerous as you suggest, then we just shouldn't have it be open except when we want it." She thrust a hoof at me. "Say, when you give us the specific go-ahead, preferably in your current form so no outside force can be actively pressuring you."

I sank to my haunches. "Can you do that? I mean, opening the portal exactly when and for as long as you want?" I felt silly asking, why couldn't they? "So we could get ponies back home, without opening the way for random human tourists."

Twilight flashed a bright smile. "Except the ones we like. Kevin's still waiting to visit, is he not?"

He certainly was. I felt better about the whole thing. Maybe I was just getting worked up over nothing. "Thanks, Twilight. I was getting carried away on a tide of unexpected events keeping me thoroughly off-balance."

Twilight waved it away. "Usually it's Spike helping me recover from a freakout. It's nice to be able to return the favor for a change. It happens to the best of us. Now that we've settled that." She turned in place. "Want to get something to snack on? Teleporting that far is a draining effort."

I wasn't especially hungry, but hanging out with Twilight seemed like a fine idea, so I followed after her. While we went, a question came to me. "You know Celestia, right?"

Twilight twitched an ear at me. "Princess Celestia? Of course. She is... was... my mentor. What about her?"

"Have you ever thought about her wishes, as a mare, rather than a princess or teacher?" I spoke purposefully and clearly, knowing I was touching on what could be a sensitive topic.

Twilight stiffened. "N-no, not... really?" She quirked a smile. "I know she has interesting thoughts. She enjoys cutting loose when she can, but that's not really my speed. Have you... seen me dancing? It's a shameful display, as fun as it might be."

I tried to envision what dorky pony dancing would be. "I'd like to see that, if you're ever up for it. But Celestia..." I leaned in and lowered my voice, "I like her."

"We all like her," said Twilight in a charmingly innocent way.

"Like like her." With the pressure of the portal abating, other thoughts had resurfaced. "Would you be angry if I asked her to be my girlfriend?"

Twilight froze dead a moment before slowly turning to me. "I..." She swallowed heavily. "That's a friendship lesson I haven't had yet... So long as you are honest with her, and she is with you, then... I would want you both to be happy." She gave the most nervous smile before pointing ahead. "We can eat there. They serve the best oat spaghetti I've had in Canterlot."

Oat spaghetti? Why not. It was a grain. I imagined it could be made into spaghetti without issue. The specifics were well beyond me. I was not a chef. I followed Twilight inside and we filled out bellies and talked about a lot of nothing that terribly important.

"So, about Kevin," she suddenly detoured the conversation. "He is aware he will become a pony on arrival? The only world-travel that doesn't have this issue is how Starlight got stuck in your world, so he can't come that way."

I bobbed my fuzzy head. "I think he's looking forward to it, provided it's a visit and not an immigration."

"I just wanted to be sure." She smiled a little, her snout messy with bits of sauce. Fine eating habits were clearly not part of Twilight's training. "I don't believe so, but has he ever experienced species dysphoria?"

I didn't know what that was, but I could guess. "You mean feeling he wasn't the right species?"

"Precisely." She looked pleased that I had figured it out.

"Not that I know of?" I gave a shrug, a motion I was sure normal horses could not accomplish. "He never mentioned it, but I've only started getting to know him, really know him, over the last few weeks."

Twilight pointed a hoof at me. "Well, you seem to be safe. You're not only comfortable in different bodies, but you're seeking a romantic partner that doesn't match your trained phenotype by quite a wide margin." She chomped what looked like a meatball but I guessed had no meat. "I'm almost jealous, but then I remember when I did the same thing. Are you sure it isn't that, not your body talking and your brain just following along?"

She was basically asking if I was being led around by my genitals. Bigger and better people than I have fell for that trap. I couldn't refuse the possibility, not without living in denial. "Maybe a little. She does... She's pleasing to the senses, but there are parts of her I like outside that?"

"Like, sure. Everyone likes Celestia." She slurped up a few strands. "But there's a difference between like and like like. Now, I'm not trying to say you're doing anything wrong. As I said before, so long as you're honest with each other, I wish you both the best, but... that includes being honest with yourself."

I sat up, trying to face that question, but how? I decided to go over what about Celestia made her a person worth approaching that way. "She is tall."

Twilight blinked at me.

"I want a romantic partner to be larger than me. As a woman, that wasn't as hard to come by. As a stallion..."

Twilight gave a soft 'ah'. "That's a physical thing though, isn't it?"

It was, and I frowned. "She's kind, knowledgable, and patient, all good characteristics for anyone."

"And reasons to admire her as a princess, but are those what you seek specifically in a romantic partner?" she asked as she grabbed a napkin with her magic and got to dabbing herself clean.

That was a question that seemed much harder to answer when just put to me like that. Did Celestia share any of my hobbies? It seemed unlikely. Did we share tastes in music? Also unlikely. She wouldn't get a single pop reference I made. She was, in fact, an alien... A pretty alien, sure, but... "Oh..."

Twilight reached a hoof and rest it against me. "Yeah... I'm sorry."

"But she deserves a person."

Twilight perked. "I am no expert on... that, but that seems like a bad reason to make someone your special somepony."

She wasn't wrong, even if my emotions angrily claimed she was. "Why are alicorns all female?"

"Oh! Well, I've done some research on that." She brushed the food aside suddenly and a sheet of paper popped into existence. "Alicorns require the magic of all three tribes, ultimately. Females, by default, have that. A mare can support a child of any tribe safely and encourage its growth." She was busy showing pony anatomy on the sheet, tapping as she went. "A stallion, on the other hoof, only produces a single tribe's magic, whatever one he happens to be. The leap for a stallion to become an alicorn is, thusly, much higher. Considering how few alicorns we have in general, it seems to be of no great surprise that males, while not technically impossible, are just vanishingly unlikely."

I blinked slowly at the dizzying array of pony innards being offered. Twilight really knew her stuff when it came to that. "I... see..." I didn't, entirely, but I grasped the important part. There would not be a stallion alicorn for Celestia to bond with, likely ever, but at least not for a long time. That sucked. "Thank you, Twilight. You've been very helpful."

"Anything for a friend." She waved the waiter over and soon surrendered a small bag of bits towards him. "Did you want anything else?"

I huffed softly. "I'd like..." That's when it hit me. I was right in True Shot's hooves. I wanted Celestia to have a true companion. I loved her, in a sense, but knew I wasn't really 'the one' for her. I had truly become True Shot...

Twilight must have seen the epiphany and horror flow over my face. "Are you alright?"

"I just saw a ghost." Of a sort. I shuddered from my ears down to my tail. "It's a lot to digest, and I have a lot in there rattling around. Thank you, again. You've been nothing but good."

We stood up and walked out of the moodily lit eatery out into the bright sun of the mid-day Canterlot. She glanced down. "Time to go. I'll make sure you're safely brought back to the castle."

I looked down and saw the grey stone creeping up along my legs. "I never have enough time to look around."

Twilight flashed a smile. "That may change when we get the portal working. I'm actually dying to know what happens if you go through it. Will you become True Shot, or a pony reflection of Linda Frohein? We simply must--" Stone had overtaken me as she excitedly spoke.

I sat up in bed. I was rested, if mildly annoyed. There was so much to go over...

Starlight poked her head into my room. "Morning! Today we go to your work, do we not? I've selected an outfit for the occasion."

She was still a pony. "How do you plan to wear it like that?" I asked as I slid to my feet off the bed and started preparing for the day. Ugh... We needed water! I was happy that they'd be coming later that day and getting that turned on. Life without water was barbaric at best.

"Easily fixed." Starlight vanished into the bathroom and came out quickly, dressed and appearing as a human. She had selected one of my business attires and looked quite the proper business lady. "How does it look?"

I smiled. It was like I had suddenly gotten a sister, and she wanted to be just like me... It was adorable. "You look perfect. Kevin?"

He emerged from the kitchen, a platter in hand. "Breakfast's ready."

He was making breakfast? My estimation of him increased. I went to claim my share. "I'll take Starlight with me and we'll meet at the office."

"No problem." He had his own smaller plate that he was picking at. "They'll give less odd looks if you're the one bringing Starlight in. How was pony land?"

Author's Note

The tension is dialed back a few steps. World war three this isn't.

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53 - Day at Work

As I came into the office, I saw the secretary at her desk. It wasn't the old one that had given me odd looks. The new one smiled and wriggled her fingers at me. "Oh, hello there! You're Miss Frohein, right? Who's that with you?"

Starlight peeked out from behind me. "Hello. I'm Starlight Frohein."

Oof. I hadn't meant to keep that fib going. "She's needed on the big case."

The secretary smiled broadly. "Oh! Hank won't stop talking about that. If she's here to help that, then she's welcome here." She offered a hand towards Starlight. "Nice to meet you. I'm Sally."

Starlight went for it, but balled up her fist and bounced it off Sally's confused fingers.

Sally took it well though and burst into musical laughter. "I never did a fist bump before. You're full of surprises." She reached for her papers. I had something for you, Linda. Can I call you Linda?"

I had a feeling I'd like Sally. She had a good attitude. "You may. What do you have?"

Up came a slender collection of paper in a manilla folder. "Here you are."

I accepted it even as Starlight tried to peek over my shoulders. "I'll give this a look over. Thanks."

"Any time."

I led Starlight off to my new office. "Welcome to work. Here is where I jump through a thousand legal hoops and keep others from getting stuck in a thousand bits of red tape behind me."

"Why were you so scared of the law then?" asked Starlight with a grating innocence in what could easily be taken as a barb.

I tensed. "When I do my job right, no one comes into contact with that law. When we do, it's not my job to pull us out. Contracts, regulations, requirements, that's where I thrive. Once we're down to litigation and enforcement, you're pulling me right out of my comfort zone."

"The laws of the land must be dizzyingly complex if you can, quite comfortably so far I've seen, live in a corner of it." Starlight shrugged as she kept pace, and even grabbed the door for me. "After you."

I slipped past her and gestured to the second chair that was still there. "Get comfy. I have to review this and whatever email showed up. It'll be nice when we get the internet working at home." Sinking into the chair, I popped open the folder. Unsurprisingly, it was from the director. It was a welcome packet. It went over the terms of being in their organization, asked for a cancelled check and a copy of my ID. It was... charmingly banal, as if I were accepted to work anywhere else in the world. Forms to fill and the like. They weren't going to pay me what I asked for, which made me annoyed.

Negotiation tip #1, if you give the other person what they want without resistance, you make them feel like they should have asked for more.

It had a second collection of papers inside labeled for Kevin's filling out, and a third... for Starlight? The pay rate was high. Not as high as the ransom I charged, but higher than Kevin's. We hadn't discussed that...

"So..." I began, looking up at Starlight who was looking at me with bursting curiosity. "Ever want to work for a bunch of aliens?"

"What?" She tilted her head faintly. "Wait, they want to hire me?"

I leafed through the pages. "I can only assume that includes becoming a properly documented citizen, or things would get complicated, fast." I frowned with thought. "Of course. They want to hire you, then sponsor you."

"Sponsor me, as in giving bits?"

I had to laugh. "They're offering a lot of those, American bits that is, but I actually meant legally." Now immigration sponsor forms? That I knew. I also knew they weren't doing it quite right, wait, no, this was fine. You could petition for a non-resident alien worker just fine. I just didn't normally work at that angle, but it was entirely legit. I just wondered what documentation they expected from Starlight. "But is that something you want? To stay here, that is, instead of going home."

Starlight lifted her shoulders. "Can I quit when I get bored? Does it mean I can be a pony instead of having to hide like this? Say yes to those two and it sounds like it might be fun to try. No on either and eh..." She folded her arms. "Especially the first one. I'm not looking to become anyone's slave, no matter how well paid." She suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. "Besides, what use are your bits back on Equestria?"

That one I actually had an answer for. "They wouldn't be, but you could buy things with them before you left."

That made her brighten. "Good point. Mmm, sure, provided they don't mind me cutting and leaving when I get tired of it, which I will."

A knock came from the door before it cracked open. "Hey." It was Kevin. "All clear?"

"Come in." I waved him in as he scooted inside, then held up his collection of papers. "Congratulations. You're one bit of red tape away from being an agent of the United States of America. I hope your history's clear, since I did see something about that. I haven't given it a thorough read-over, so look but no signing yet."

He took it quickly and began flipping through it. "Holy shit."

"What?"

He tapped the page. "Top Secret clearance? Isn't that... well, top?"

I hiked a thumb at Starlight. "Oh man, I wonder what huge secret they may want us to be a part of. It could be anything..."

Starlight reached for her packet and tried to decipher it, but it was clearly beyond her and she quickly put it down. "I'm trusting the two of you to make sure this is done properly. Now, this aside, do you have other work you should be doing?"

That was a fine question. I woke my computer up and dove into the email. Junk, junk, junk, yes, no, hell no, yes, definitely yes, let me research that, no, yes. They were a lot of quick questions with quick answers. Then came one from the boss man. Apparently word that the deal was closing had already reached his ears and he was beyond excited.

It made me wonder again what exactly he was seeing from his angle. What was being offered to the company that put him in such a good mood? I decided to find out. I hit the reply button and asked just that, point blank. I noted we were on the right path to closing the deal, but the specifics of the payment between the two companies had not been made clear to me and routed through the financing department. I asked for a heads up, just to be sure I wasn't promising anything that'd cost the company money in the end.

Kevin was leaning forward a little. "You have that look."

Starlight nodded in agreement. "You can tell when she's on the hunt. Everything alright?"

"Everything is fine." I sat back. "This--" I waved over the folder and papers that came with. "--This has become our job for now. Until the deal's sealed, they're not giving me a lot of other work I can't bang out almost instantly. I do have one question here that I need to look into, but I don't predict that needing more than half an hour to be sure."

Kevin adjusted his footing from one leg to the other. "So what am I doing right now?"

"What you usually do." I tapped the paper. "I'll go over this with a fine-toothed comb, for all three, to make sure there's nothing in there waiting to bite us in the ass, beyond what we know we're dealing with."

Kevin departed, not entirely satisfied, but I didn't blame him for that. It was a huge step for him. It was a huge step for me! I had the advantage of approaching it with some measure of knowledge.

There was something that bothered me. "Time to write a letter."

Starlight gave a musing 'hmm' of a sound. "Who to?"

"The director, the one that seems to be in charge of this." I got to typing. "Getting security clearance is a lot of things. Fast is not one of them. How quickly does she expect us to even think about starting this, assuming it all goes smoothly?"

"And the odds of it going smoothly?" asked Starlight in a skeptical tone. "Let me answer that, close to zero."

"I can't wait to see what the military review of your paperwork says when they see your nation of origin." I felt a smile coming on, imagining some poor military desk jockey, not that far from myself, having to deal with a paper that appeared to be filled out by a mad person with little notes saying those parts were verified. "They must have gotten this to work once at least."

"Why do you say that?"

"They had a pony with them." I described the blue pegasus and how he changed.

Starlight stiffened. "They had a changeling with them?"

"What?"

Starlight paused to think. "Major event, major event. Do you have an episode where I save the kingdom from a bunch of them? That was pretty important. Did they make an episode about that?"

So, there I was, at work, looking up My Little Pony episodes. It was for reference, seriously. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I performed serious research into a children's television show. While it played, I returned to leafing through those papers. They needed some serious research. Nothing could be assumed...

"There!" Starlight jabbed a finger. "See?" She pointed to where Twilight and her friends had been standing and turned into insectoid creatures that were busy talking to a floating green window.

"So that's a changeling? They're... bad?" I mean, sure, they were in that episode. But that would be the same as assuming any given movie was an accurate depiction of any race ever.

Starlight folded her arms. "Maybe. We don't even know if it's a pre or post evolution changeling. Still, if he's shapeshifting, like that? I feel pretty safe saying they're a changeling, and I'd guess pre. If he's loyal to their Queen, he's bad news. If not... Well, he's a person, I guess."

I liked to think my government was doing its job. Ideally, a battery of psychological exams required to have security clearance would dig up if the applicant was being dodgy and reject them. That was, alas, an ideal situation. We were far from one of those. Hell, we had someone rather famous have clearance for a record-breaking short time before being outed as a spy. We lived in interesting times...

"Let's take this slow and easy." I sat up. "I've tossed the ball back into their court. Until then we research, we learn, and most importantly right now, we live." I reached and set a hand on Starlight's. "We'll get through this."

Starlight burst into a smile. "Look at you. I'm not a lost little foal. I know this is an... interesting situation, but it's alright. I'm an adult." She sat up tall. "I'll handle this with you. Kevin's the one you should watch out for. He's so far in over his head, I can see him drowning."

Despite her tough words of bravado, I felt they were just that, a false front of confidence. She was nervous. Then again, I'd think she was crazy if she wasn't at least a little nervous.

Author's Note

Paperwork, legalities, and streaming episodes of MLP at work! Wait, is that last one a typo?

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54 - Civility

The best part of the day? Oh that was easy. It was going home with a bored but still relieved Starlight, and having the installers show up not long after. Water, precious water, and the wonders of the Internet were brought to us with smiles. We were living in modern times again!

Starlight clapped her hands softly before she turned the sink back off. "Wonderful. You don't know how much you miss it until it's gone."

Kevin was hanging up the TV in the living room carefully. "It'll be a lot less boring around here, now that we have Internet."

"How, exactly, does that work?" asked Starlight as she wandered off towards the bathroom. She returned clad in fur, with my clothes all folded up in a bundle, floating beside her.

I claimed those. "Explaining the entire Internet would be quite a task," I explained as I dropped the clothes into the hamper for later washing. The house had come with a washer and dryer, which was nice. "Suffice to say that there are a variety of... productions available there."

Kevin powered up the TV and sat on the couch with a remote. He pat the spot beside him. "I'll show you how to work it."

Starlight bounced up next to him and listened intently as he went over the buttons. Almost immediately afterwards, her magic snatched the remote and she got to browsing. "These are all productions? There are so many of them! How do you even start to choose one?"

I let them bond. I had papers to keep sifting through. I had pored over them during the day, looking for traps and twists. I had to research terms and double-check everything. Accepting a secret bid from the government was no joke! It also made this above-board. That was comforting, in a way. There was no 'secret' way to get actual clearance. If they shoved us through the proper channels to get it, then we're on the books, and not just some shadowy presence operating without the blessings of anyone else.

Of course, there was the fact that I was, literally, an agent of a foreign power... I put a hand to my head as I got back to reading over everything. I would be honest. They would turn me down if they wanted, but that wouldn't be my fault. If I was honest, then I haven't committed anything wrong.

That night, we ordered in pizza and watched some scary movies that even Starlight started seeing the humor in after we assured her none of the people on the screen were actually being hurt. We gasped, laughed, and had a good time of the whole thing. A quality evening, especially compared to the usual night back at my old house that would have me alone. I was starting to get used to having company, and I liked it.

We were all getting ready for bed when a phone call came in. "Linda? It's Mom."

Oh, lovely. "Hello, mother. I made it all safe and sound."

"Great to hear, but I wasn't worried for you. You could handle a little trip," she said confidently through the phone. "How's the new neighborhood? Is there really avacado on everything?"

Not everything... "The neighborhood's nice, so far I've seen so far. What's up, mom?"

"The old house, it's still under your name, right? We're going to need it starting next week if that's alright. I still have a spare key."

That was fast... "There's not a lot of furniture left," I warned. "And the services are cut, so you'll have to turn them back on."

"We can handle that. You'll be coming for the party, right?"

I realized I actually had a really good excuse for that. "Sorry, work has gotten really intense."

"Who's that? Do you have someone over?" She had heard Kevin speaking to Starlight. My mother gasped dramatically. "Do you have--"

"--No, mom. He's a tenant."

"Oh..." I could hear the disappointment in her voice. "Wait, are you gay?" I went red. "Now don't be ashamed if you are. I'm not like that. Is that why you ran off to California? I expect to be invited to whatever wedding you have."

I groaned inwardly. "Mother, the lady you hear is a friend, not a friend friend. They're both involved in what has me so busy at work though."

"Well bring them along if you have to, but can't you make it?"

I had too many complications in my life. "I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to do that right now. Sorry. You can use the house though."

"Thank you for that, dear, but if anything changes, you let me know."

We exchanged love yous and I hung up gratefully for it being over.

"Who was that?" asked Starlight, looking up at me. "That was a person, right?"

"My mother."

Starlight perked her ears. "You are so lucky, being able to call your family like that. If I wanted to talk to my parents, I'd have to make a day trip out of it, ride over, and see them in person."

Why didn't I feel lucky? "Do you get along well with your family?"

Starlight tensed faintly. "It's complicated..."

I quickly waved it off. "It's alright. It usually is. I get jealous of people who are just happy with theirs without any asterisks."

"Asterisk?"

"Complications."

Starlight gave a soft ah before she pointed to the closest bathroom. "It's available so you can get ready for bed. I'll see you in the morning."

I took up her offer. Oh how I had missed a hot shower. I felt the weight of the day being washed clean of my body and savored it. I emerged clean and refreshed. The house was becoming a home, and I liked it. I couldn't help but smile a little. There were a lot of things I was liking about how things were turning, even if there was a lot of other complexities.

I turned in on a nice and soft bed. Sleep quickly came for me, and I awoke in the grasp of stone. I shook free without delay. Thanks to the bell I could hear, there was no reason to do anything else.

Imagine my surprise when I could see and there was Celestia practically snout to snout with me. She even had a few flecks of abandoned stone across her front. "Good afternoon, True."

I jumped back a step. "Oh! Were you waiting for me?"

She nodded as her magic brushed the stone flakes off. "There are important matters to discuss. Let us begin, if you are ready? I do not mean to ambush you, True. It can wait if you prefer?"

It was far too late for a more sedate entry into Equestria. "Go on. What's on your mind."

She gave a wan smile. "Many things. Let us begin with your ambassador-hood."

"About that." I raised a hoof. "Twilight brought up that we should likely just keep the portal heavily restricted. She said that was possible."

Celestia nodded in agreement. "A wise suggestion, but that does not preclude offering a hoof of friendship. Are you willing to be that hoof?"

Ugh, how did that even factor into what I was already doing? "I'm not an ambassador. I'm not sure I would be any good at it. They have me lined up already to become an agent on 'their' side, helping to manage ponies that end up there."

Celestia's ears lifted. "Is that what inspired your idea of official greeters before? You are to become one, for the humans? That sounds delightful."

I hadn't thought of it like that, but... "In a way, that's exactly what they want me to be. It isn't where I got the idea, but it just worked out that way. I can't do that and be ambassador."

Celestia nodded softly. "Very well. We'll have to get another pony then. There is something you can do, with your newfound position. You can ensure that they enter the country with all due process and are shown how to begin diplomacy."

Oh... sure... "Hold that thought. I have to finish getting the position. Equestria seems to be light on paperwork, at least around you, but--"

Celestia seemed to understand before I even finished. "Officials beside myself create veritable mountains of paperwork. If you think Equestria is immune to that, allow me to correct that. Neigh, I understand this." She leaned closer suddenly, her sweet breath rolling over me. "I can be patient. I will be content knowing that you will act when possible."

I remembered the conversation I had had with Twilight before. "Celestia, is this possible?" She looked confused. "I'll grow old, and die."

She let out a slow breath, just as sweet as the first. "You will. I know not how long that will be, but you will." She gave a ghost of a smile. "But won't we all? What is the purpose of avoiding it?" She rose up to her full height. "I am asking too much of you. You occupy a fragile position, balancing between your homeland and ours. It's not fair that I complicate it with advances."

I stiffened and suddenly barked, "No!" I think we were both surprised by my outburst. "No, I mean... I'm an adult." I've said that a lot recently. "I can make my own decisions."

She reached up and set her hoof on my nose. She smelled nice. "And being an adult, you will accept mine. True Shot, find your own purpose. We will be friends, but I fear not more than that, but there is little to regret in friendship, and I welcome yours."

I suddenly knew exactly what Kevin had felt like. Celestia was taking the high road, the one neither of us really wanted to take. "You are a wonderful woman, Celestia. You deserve a man that can focus on you entirely and spend more time reminding you how lovely you are."

Celestia quirked an ear and a smile. "I presume that to be mare and stallion, but I appreciate the thought." She kissed each of my cheeks. "You are a lovely stallion, but not mine."

"Celestia." She paused in turning away. "You say you want to be friends, but we haven't been, not really. You don't know me all that well, and I know almost nothing about you. None of that is right." I walked up to her, circling back to be in front. "If we're going to be friends, let's be real friends."

Her smile was radiant, but most of her was, come to think of it. "That is about the best response to this decision I could think of. I would visit you, but I hear you already have a pony there, besides, Equestria needs me here, and we need not disturb the human nation by having a foreign noble appearing without warning. When Twilight gets the mirror portal situated, I would like you and your friend to visit me, knowing you will not suddenly be taken from me, at least not by stone. We will speak of things and learn of one another, as friends should do."

Author's Note

Linda is friendzoned, and ups the ante by demanding real friendship out of it. That's a legal move, right?

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55 - Back To Work

Celestia had other important matters to get to, being the ruler of her people. I didn't stop her from going, and I took the chance to get some fresh Equestria air.

I wasn't allowed to enjoy it for overly long as an excitable mare came bounding towards me. "You're True Shot, right?"

I looked her over swiftly. She wasn't dressed in anything, which told me she was likely not one of the snooty nobles. "That's me. How can I help?"

"I heard from a friend in Ponyville," explained the mare, almost bouncing in place. "You can make ponies fall in love, right?"

"Not so much." I tried to wave the idea away. "I can make two ponies look at each other and face the truth of things, for good or not." I had thought I had abandoned the idea of my practice, but it seemed business was coming to me. "Did you need any help?"

She bobbled her head. "Two friends of mine. They keep flirting, but only when the other's not paying attention, then they get sad. It goes back and forth and back and forth and it's driving me crazy to watch! If you can make them stop trying to posture and impress and just look at each other, that would be great."

My bow tingled in that itchy way that I had learned meant I was being tempted to follow my purpose. I wanted to shoot those ponies and clear the air between them. "I can help, but it's not a charity." Even if I really did want to shoot them.

The mare didn't seem put off. "Oh, that's no problem. If it gets them to stop going through this over and over, it'll be worth every bit." Her horn glowed as a bag of bits floated into view.

We negotiated a rate quickly, with a bonus for basically ambushing them without them seeing me. The mare clopped her hooves eagerly. "Thank you so much! Put an arrow in either of their stubborn flanks and they'll at least be done with it." She turned and trotted off, seemingly content.

The targets were two nobles. One Fancy Pants and another Fleur Dis Lee? They both sounded relatively fancy from the descriptions, but the mare had been quite vocal in defense of them when I mentioned it.

"They're both sweethearts! They care about ponies, big and small." She was quite adamant about that. "You better be nice to them."

So I had my task, and was paid in advance. Ponies were trusting, but it wasn't like humans didn't charge in advance more often than not, though we had so many more laws about that sort of thing. I started musing how best to ambush the two. My patron, who hadn't given her name, had mentioned a few good places where they tend to either frequent or walk past.

I decided I wanted the least busy of the locales. They apparently walked past a pet shop every day in a part of town that wasn't very filled with ponies much of the day. According to the patron, Fleur often liked making faces at the puppies and talking about how she wanted to have one but didn't know she could put in the time and energy to do it properly, so she hadn't.

I gave her half a point for making the responsible decision to not adopt if she couldn't put in the time a pet required. Heaven knows I had opted out of a cat or a dog many times for just the same reason. I was far too busy and occupied to give them back what they needed to be healthy and happy. It wasn't enough to fill their bowls.

There was a ladder leading right up where I needed to be. That seemed almost too convenient. Fate? I wasn't quite willing to pencil it up to that, but I also wasn't complaining as I scaled the ladder. Let me note, a horse climbing a ladder? I felt so very odd, but I managed it. My hind hooves could stand on the rungs and I wrapped my fetlocks around each as I went up step by step. It was slow and I was worried I'd fall and break something, but I made it. I had a feeling if a 'real' pony did it, they'd probably just fly right up there without even stressing how impossible it was. Darn ponies.

My bow hovered beside me without me thinking about it until I saw it there, floating. "Sometimes I wonder if you have a literal mind of your own." The bow did not reply, but it felt... good in my mental grip. It wanted to be fired, I felt, and I wanted to fire it. Intelligent or not, our relationship was a beneficial one.

So, there I was, surveying the street beneath me while trying to be subtle. I felt like the most colorful spy ever. A horse spy, of course. Or... would that be more of an equine assassin? Yes, with bow out and ready, I waited patiently for my prey. I would end their lives in a flash. Twang twang, two arrows, two kills. I would shatter the life they knew. Hopefully it would be for the better.

I heard the clip-clop of hooves and felt my ears turning towards it without being asked. A peek showed the targets. Fancy Pants, who had no pants to speak of, and Fleur Dis Lee, who had a fleur de lis for a cutie mark. Of the two, I had to give Fleur higher marks for being honest with her mark. I knew that was childish. Fancy Pants was likely very fancy, despite his lack of pants.

Like clockwork, Fleur gravitated towards the display, gazing with a bright foalish expression as the puppies in the window. They seemed just as happy to see her and they began exchanging happy noises at each other. Fancy Pants stood beside her with a kindly smile, but he seemed to be being patient with her, in a good way. He had no special interest in the puppies.

They were standing still. My chance had come. I drew out and arrow, had it ready, and fired twice with the speed that came not from me, not personally. It just happened as I decided that was the right time. Even as I ducked back low, I decided I really needed to practice with the bow and be able to fire it without leaning entirely on my instinct, as well trained as that was.

I heard the yelps of two struck ponies and dared a peek.

Fleur was looking at Fancy in surprise, as he was at her. They were falling into each other's eyes and I smiled. My aim had been as true as my name, and they were lost in one another.

"You're the best brother I could ever ask for," sighed out Fleur.

What?

"And you are the finest sister any stallion could be blessed with." They hugged tightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," defended Fleur hotly. "Every stallion I meet wants one thing, and you know what it is."

Fancy huffed out a weary sigh. "Hanging off of me can't be sending an opposing signal, sister."

"On the contrary." She smiled at him. "They see me with you and don't even try. You're my shield, brother. You keep them away from me."

I slumped a bit. I had not been expecting that...

"If I am to be your shield, sister, then I will stand proudly." He stood tall. "None shall offend you in my presence."

Fleur smooched him on the cheek. "I could not dream of a more perfect brother. It must be such a chore... However will a mare approach you if they see me at your side at all times?"

Fancy gave a sudden cough. "It's no trouble at all." He glanced away.

Fleur approached him, perhaps goaded on by the arrow. "You cannot simply say that, brother. Tell me the truth."

He bit at his lower lip a moment before letting out a faint sigh. "I have no interest, sister. I enjoy the finer things in life. Fashion, a good race, fine wine, helping others to lead full lives. I have no interest in romance. You are my shield, sister. You keep them away." He was echoing her words back at her.

She flinched before she smiled a little. "We have much to discuss, but it's unseemly for us to do so here in an alleyway with the puppies as our witness. Thank Destiny for placing us both where we were needed and beside what we needed." She hugged him gently, and they strode off, side-by-side, so very content with the presence of the other.

I was not sure how to feel about it...

Was that heartwarming, or disturbing? I really wasn't sure. They weren't doing a thing wrong, in the end. They were two non-sexual ponies using one another to scare off anypony else that wanted to approach them. Was that bad? It didn't matter that they were siblings, considering they didn't do more than a hug or a kiss. In the end... it wasn't my business. I had no right to cast judgments down on them like the creepy stalker I was being. I wished them both the very best and got to climbing back down to street level.

My job was complete.

I trotted through the clean streets of Canterlot towards a specific place. I knocked on the door and it opened almost instantly. There was the mare. "Already? You're almost faster than I am," she exclaimed with a bright grin. "Oh, I never said my name, did I? I'm Minuette, now tell me everything that happened."

I wasn't so sure about that. "Nice to meet you, Minuette, but what they said was for their ears, not yours. I'm not a spy."

"Oh fine, just tell me they're done flirting."

Right... "I don't think they are, but they aren't getting sad about the results. It's... a game. They both know the rules and they both play it. They're fine, really."

"Really?"

"Really." I nodded softly. "I don't think they plan to take things any further than they already are, and they're both happy."

Minuette tapped her chin softly. "Huh, well, you did what I asked and got an answer, even if it's not the one I expected, so thank you very much, True Shot. I'll be sure to tell my friends you're in town. Are you planning to stay here?"

"I come and go," I reported honestly. "But ask at the castle and if I'm there, they can find me. I don't have an office yet." I might not ever get one, but I felt no need to mention that. "I enjoy helping ponies though."

"A pony after my own heart." She fluttered her lashes at me. "So what say you give us a test run, huh? You can poke me with one of those arrows and make me confess all my burning desires."

I blinked at Minuette. "Do you have those?"

"No." She was grinning. "But it's fun to think about." She suddenly hugged me tight and bounced back. "Thanks again!" And she shut the door with a glowing horn.

Ponies...

Author's Note

In this chapter, nothing involving Earth occurs at all!

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56 - It Begins

Later, back in the human world, I arrived at work with Starlight. I gave her a tablet to play with and she was gleefully exploring all its various functions and the big thing called the Internet while I checked on my mail.

And there it was. A reply from our potential employees. I had submitted our paperwork with every I dotted and t crossed, even if it made it sound like at least one of us was a looney. Nation of Origin: Equestria, sure.

The email didn't include a rejection. Instead it advised that our backgrounds were being investigated, and asked for all the contact numbers and addresses we could provide of anyone we've been in contact with for the last five years. Ugh. That was a lot of people for me. My job basically was contacting people. I did not look forward to that.

Starlight saw my soured expression. "Something wrong? Oh shoot!" Her tablet made a sad noise. "Got distracted and died." She set the tablet aside. "What's wrong?"

I swiveled the monitor so she could have a peek. "They want the contact information of basically everyone I've talked to in the last five years. That's a long list."

Starlight lifted her shoulders. "I hope they don't expect one from me. My friends don't have any contact information that would do them any good."

I pointed at her, then myself. "There's us, to start, and you should include those. You'll write down what you have and be honest. So long as we do that, the worst we get is denied."

A knock came from the door before the boss man entered. "Linda, really? I don't--Oh, hello there." He nodded towards Starlight, then refocused on me. "They're telling me you're going to be set up with security clearance! Tell me this is true."

"It is?" I said in an unsure way. "Why?"

"That opens more doors for us. That means you become our bridge to landing government deals." He was grinning something fierce. "How soon before you get it?"

I let out a little snort thinking about it. "Assuming we're lucky, a few months. These things are not fast, you know that."

"Can't say I've had a lot of experience with them," he admitted. "Do what you have to do." His eyes wandered to Starlight, who had resumed her tablet game. "Are you in this?"

She looked up at him. "In what?"

"Are they getting you clearance too?"

"Yeah," she admitted easily. She was appraising him. "I don't work for you, however."

"What do you do, exactly?" His attention was fully on her. "We might fix that."

She made a little pout as the dying music played on the tablet. She set it aside for the moment again. "I'm afraid that's a secret. It wouldn't do to give me security clearance if I was quick to talk about them, hmm?"

He looked suddenly unsure. "Was..." If I had to guess, he was weighing if it was a joke or not. "I'll leave that there for now. Linda." He was looking at me again. "We do have a few emails that could use your eye as soon as you're done with the security stuff." Then he was gone, door closed behind him.

Starlight rolled her eyes. "He is amusing, but got me killed. Stallions, am I right?" Her expression warmed into a smile. "Give me the paper and I'll get to writing."

I could do that, or... I grabbed her abandoned tablet and got her over to a place where she could tap things out. "Here, just touch the letters on the bottom and you can write with it without needing a paper or a pen."

She tried a few random letters before she nodded. "Now that's useful. I'm on it." She sat back in her chair and began pecking away, producing names and addresses, for what good Equestrian addresses would do.

I decided to handle the emails before starting the clearance questions, as that could take days or even weeks to fully assemble.

I heard a soft 'clang' from my purse and didn't remember what it was. Digging for it discovered the cube that Twilight had sent me. Right. I pressed the button in the side.

"Hello," came Twilight's voice. She was in the monitor, beside my email window. "I see the device is functioning properly. Is Starlight here?"

"Right here," volunteered Starlight, though her eyes were on the tablet.

"Great. I just wanted to check to make sure you were alright, and to see if there has been any change in the situation. Have you decided on a good place and time to put the portal?" The latter part of that had her looking back at me instead of in the direction of Starlight's voice.

I shook my head. "There are plenty of equally good places in my new house, but let's hold off on that until this is settled."

Twilight nodded. "If Starlight is okay, then there's no specific rush."

"I'm fine," reported Starlight distractedly.

Twilight glanced towards the voice. "What is she doing?"

I decided to play interference. "Your timing is actually good." I saw her perk up and look back at me. "I'm being asked for the names, addresses, and contact information of everyone I've talked to recently, and you and other ponies would qualify, even if there isn't any good contact information. Could I get some addresses from you, starting with you, then other ponies?"

Twilight's horn glowed as a clipboard appeared beside her. "I would be delighted to help. Let's start with mine..."

And so I was given the address of every pony I had run into. I also found out that Twilight was actually friends with Minuette and she was quite happy to hear I had helped her.

"We have to get back together again. I'd love to catch up." Twilight was smiling brightly. "Can you believe I let her fall out of my life for a while? She's such a chipper pony, like Pinkie, really, without the sweets."

"And the unexplained powers?"

Twilight waved it off. "She has those, though they're a bit more explained. Did you see her cutie mark?"

I hadn't looked, and admitted that.

"It's an hourglass, and her magic's shown in it. Besides being a talented wizard, she has mastery over the flow of time. She does it without even realizing it half the time. Don't ever try to race her anywhere."

I wondered at the implications of that, but we finished off the list of every pony I knew the name of. "Thank you, Twilight." A thought came to me. "If it comes up, are you alright with being interviewed?"

Twilight's ears went erect. "By human authorities? It would be an honor to serve as an ambassador for ponykind, even if only for a single interview. You'll have to ask Princess Celestia for permission, I can't speak for her."

I hadn't asked, but I understood the sentiment. "We have a direct line, so I'll put down that they can talk to you if they want to."

Twilight looked uncertain. "Is it wise to tell them?"

"It's either tell them or wait for them to find out on their own and use the fact that I didn't tell them against me. If they say things you don't want to hear, you're the one with control anyway. You can end the call."

"I can," she agreed. "Just be safe, alright? That goes for you too, Starlight!"

Starlight made a little noise of affirmation, her eyes on her game.

Twilight gave a huff. "I see she's enjoying herself. I'll let you get back to work. See you later, Linda."

I gave a wave softly at her. "Take care, Twilight." She faded away and I got back to the email work I had. It wasn't anything major, and I worked intently to get it out of the way to get back to the arduous task of chasing down phone numbers and contact details of every person I had dealt with. Ugh, no small task.

It was growing close to closing time, around four o' clock when my office phone began ringing sharply. I snatched it up even as I was surprised. I wasn't expecting any calls.

"Miss Frohein?"

It wasn't a voice I recognized, and the caller ID wasn't helpful. "This is she. How can I help you?"

"Hello, I'm calling to schedule an interview concerning your security clearance evaluation. Is now a good time?"

Jesus, already?! "That was fast," I let out.

"Has it? I'm just a receptionist, they don't tell me more than I need to know, and I know you're to be scheduled at earliest convenience. We have an opening... Tomorrow at 15:00, is that acceptable?"

It was during work hours, but I doubted my boss would even flinch if I told him I was going to be off doing an interview for this. "That works." I glanced over at Starlight. "Alone, I gather?"

"Just you," agreed the receptionist. I heard a paper being rustled around. "Yep, just you. I was asked to ask you if you have the contact number for one Starlight Glimmer? Preferably a cell number."

"She doesn't have one of those, but she is right here."

"It's my lucky day," said the receptionist without enough conviction. "Can you have her call this number --" He repeated the number. "Extension 245, that'll route her to me and we can schedule her appointment."

"Actually, is there anyway we can go in together? I'm her transportation"

"Let me see." There was a pause. "If you don't mind waiting, I can schedule her in at 17:00."

I saw Starlight handling the wait less gracefully than I, shame she'd have to wait at least as long as I did in the end. "We'll do that. Can you give me the address I'm supposed to be at?" I typed down the address as it was given and saved it as an appointment on my calendar, thanked the receptionist, and hung up.

Starlight was looking at me curiously. "Something happen? I heard you talking about me."

"We have an appointment to be interviewed." I shook my head a little. "This is where things start to get really interesting, since we'll be dealing with people, not forms. These are people who likely won't be convinced you are a pony at first glance."

Starlight waved a hand down herself. "Should I show them?"

"If they ask for it specifically..." I glanced off and back. "But if they threaten you, you have magic, right?"

"If they try anything funny, I'll be home before they are."

That was a short term answer at best. I let out a sigh. "Be nice, be polite, and don't rise to any bait they may throw out to get a reaction out of you. Be honest, and emotionless. Just facts."

"Just facts." She shook her head. "I feel like I'm suddenly in a bad spy novel. I'm just going to talk to them."

Author's Note

If only you knew, Starlight. Bad spy novel... Give me some credit!

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58 - The Call

The lunch was messy, which was largely the point. I wouldn't have selected it myself, but my recent friends had developed a habit of dragging me to places I wouldn't think of, and it usually didn't turn out too badly.

I broke the news to some disappointment. I left out the why of it. It was a secret, of course. There was no good reason to tell him about the whole Equestria thing, and relatively few happy possible outcomes from bringing him into the fold on that.

"Does this mean the deal's off?" he asked, looking haunted.

"Not necessarily." I held up my hands placatingly. "I'll get out an email to them and see what we can do. I wouldn't call it quits just yet."

And that's exactly what I went to do, leaving my fretting boss behind. I hadn't thought of it from that angle, and I should have. If the deal did fall through, it would be a significant loss to the company. They had sunk significant time and resources into opening a new office, and the project I was spearheading was supposed to be the first real profits from the venture. If I failed to close that deal...

I let out a little breath as I closed the door behind myself. Starlight had her face in her tablet, playing some kind of game. She did look up at me as I crossed the office. She must have noticed something was up. She set the tablet down and pointed at me. "So, what happened?"

"That obvious?" I sank onto my comfy chair. "If this all goes bust, it could leave the company in dire straights. I have enough savings to surf along to the next opportunity, I wager, but there are a lot of people who don't have that luxury."

Starlight pursed her lips as her fingers drummed on my desk. "Well, there's... not a lot we can do right now. Tell that Director lady and see what she wants to do about it. If she wants us that bad, she'll think of something. It's not like we did anything wrong."

Oh, would that not doing things wrong were enough to get ahead... "I'll try." I had my email up in a snap and got right to typing.

I regret to inform that I was denied the security clearance. My dual-citizen nature disqualified me before we got much further in,
but I received the impression every additional detail was another reason to not proceed, so far as the interviewer was concerned.

I paused, looking at the words. I felt a growing sense of irritation. Filling out all those forms hadn't been a brief task, or an enjoyable one. So far it had borne no fruits. Depending on how she replied, it may never. Still, that was my job. I filled forms. I made things happen...

Despite our denial, we are willing to proceed. You simply cannot reveal any classified intelligence. There is work waiting to be done,
and we are eager to get to it.

That felt more proactive. But what if ponies in general were classified? Well... too bad? I already knew about them. I lived with one of them, for god's sake. I glanced across at Starlight, who had resumed swiping at the pad eagerly. No, not much could be told to me about ponies that I wouldn't already know or would find out on my own.

Ding. An email had arrived. It was from Kevin.

Did you get grilled yet? They asked me a million questions! No word on if I'm in or not. Let me know!

I had to laugh, so I did. After all that, he was the closest to getting the security clearance. Why not? He wasn't an alien, or a dual citizen, or much of anything remarkable. He was just a marketing guy. My presence was likely the biggest minus on his application.

I quickly added a note to the email I had been drafting, informing them that Kevin was still in the running, then sent it on its digital way through the complex web known as the Internet.

"What's so funny?"

"Kevin wasn't disqualified. He's still in the running."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Figures. Good for him. At least we'll know what's going on with the other ponies, right?"

"Not... exactly." I pointed towards the door. "If it's all classified, then he would be sworn to not share that information. I'm not going to ask my friend to break the law, especially that one. We could both get in huge amounts of trouble."

Starlight frumped at the news. She sat up in her chair and fidgeted a moment. "Well... guess we have to wait and see."

A thought came to me. "Hey, have you taught magic before?"

Starlight blinked at that. "That's a sudden topic shift, but yes, I have. Why?"

"I was curious if I was your first or not."

Starlight waggled fingers at me. "Oh no. My dear friend Trixie was the first. Mind you, she knew basic magic, just not anything advanced enough to be called a true spell outside her cutie mark's talent." She sighed gently. "I wonder how she's doing... It's been a while since we spoke."

"Is she good now?" I asked curiously even as I, driven by curiosity, began to do a web search on her. She came up quickly. She looked like a magician. "She didn't know magic?"

Starlight leaned in to see what I saw. "Oh, yes, that's her, done as one of your cartoons at least. She's good at illusions and fanfare, but only of the sort that's good in a show. Parlor tricks. She wanted to advance from that and since we were good friends, she asked me to mentor her. I did, and she drove me crazy, but we did it." She let out a slow sigh as she sank back in her chair. "I miss her."

"So I was easier?"

Starlight cocked a brow. "You waited for me to finish explaining something before rushing in and doing it, so, yes, you get points there. Don't get me wrong. I love Trixie, and she has talent, she's just impatient to shine." Her expression became one of fond remembrance. "You should have seen her the first major spell she accomplished. She just couldn't stop showing it off, and that smile. It really made her week."

Love? "Were you two... in a relationship?"

Starlight missed the implication entirely, sailing over her head. "Of course. Several. We're best friends, and she was, and technically still is, my student." She tapped at the tablet lightly. "I bet she'd get as much of a kick out of one of these as I do." I was going to ask her a question, but she kept right on talking, "We've been adventuring partners before, and I've been her assistant for her magic show, so, yes, we've had a lot of relationships."

"Right," I said as a space came to fruition. "It sounds like you two have been through a bit together."

"I miss her," sighed out Starlight bluntly. "Next tim... Actually, you can contact her!" She brightened considerably. "Press the button, call Twilight!"

I considered that. There was no reply from the Director yet, and no other email that needed my immediate reply at the moment. I saw no harm in it, so I pulled out the curious cube and pressed the button in the side. Somewhere a reality apart, I imagined the 'clonk' bell going off wherever Twilight had placed her cube. "Now we wait. She either shows up, or rings the bell back, which means she's busy."

Starlight clapped her hands lightly. "I hope she's there. If Trixie's nearby, she can get her and we can talk at least."

Twilight appeared a minute later. "Hello? I think this is the first time you were the one starting one of these."

I smiled at the princess on my computer even as it struck me just how bad of a security risk giving me clearance would be. They had probably done the right thing in rejecting me, as I thought about it. "Twilight, good to see you. Starlight was--"

"--Is Trixie there?" butted in Starlight, suddenly crouched beside me and grinning at Twilight.

Twilight blinked. "Actually, yes. Once I told her what had happened to you, she refused to leave until you were returned."

Starlight's expression fell. "Aw! Poor girl, she must be so worried. Please, get her."

Twilight pointed at me before her hoof went behind her head. "Before I go running off to do that, was there anything else you needed, Linda?"

"I called for Starlight here." I gave a bit of a smile. "You'd best get Trixie before she explodes."

"Right, right." Twilight turned to the left and trotted out of view. "One moment," came her voice, retreating away.

Starlight was almost giggling with anticipation, and she was not disappointed.

A blue pony popped into view on the computer. "Starlight!" She mashed her face up against the back of the screen, her face distorted against the flat surface. "Is that really you? We missed you!"

Starlight rushed up to almost do the same, but a quick grab of her shoulders kept her from knocking my poor LCD screen right over. "Trixie! It's been too long."

"It feels like a hundred moons have gone by," said Trixie in a petulant tone, backing away from the screen enough to see her properly. "When are you coming home?

Starlight let out a groan as she spread her arms wide. "First, how did you recognize me?"

Trixie got a coy and confident look. "As if the Great and Powerful Trixie wouldn't recognize her best friend, even while criminally bald." She glanced off and back before leaning in towards the screen. In a loud stage whisper, she confessed, "Twilight might have told Trixie before she got here, but we can keep that a secret."

Starlight giggled at that. "I'll never tell." She pointed at her chin. "And this is an example of what can go wrong when you cast spells without thinking it completely through."

Trixie tilted her head a little. "Were you trying to teleport? That's still a tricky spell."

Starlight quickly shook her head in reply, waving her hands to emphasize. "Not that, not exactly. I wanted to visit Linda here." She gestured at me. "So I went and hopped through dimensions... and got stuck."

Trixie's eyes shone. "So that's what that spell was. Trixie was very curious but couldn't quite piece it together. Why would anyone want to hop into a statue. That was silly, she thought, but now it makes more sense."

"Wait." Starlight started to look nervous. "You saw the spell?"

"How could she not?" Trixie shrugged. "You left it beside the statue when you vanished, wide open to the spell you used. Trixie thought you might be really inside the statue, but Twilight assured Trixie this was not the case. Now she understands!" She clopped her hooves together. "Trixie will fix the spell and rescue you, leave it to the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"Wait, no!" It was too late, Trixie had galloped off with a manic smile and a set heart.

Author's Note

I'm sure this will resolve itself, right?

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59 - A Great and Powerful Entrance

We all arrived home, safe and sound. We had food, like civilized beings. What surprised me was that Starlight wanted to try her hand at human appliances.

"It's not like I never cooked before," she assured as she grabbed a pan and set it on the stove. "Your equipment is so... sleek." She carefully twisted the knob to conjure the heat. "And no actual fires to be seen. That's much safer."

Kevin was there, watching Starlight go about things with as much wonder as I had. "Everything is where you need it?"

"Where did you put the, ah." She pulled out a package of eggs and set them beside the stove. "I have this all in hoof."

So we had a dinner that was like breakfast, but when was breakfast ever out of style? As soon as the food was prepared, Starlight returned to her usual fuzzy self and we had a perfectly enjoyable and relaxing evening. As roommates went, both Kevin and Starlight were nice to have around. As if to emphasize that, Kevin took care of the dishes afterwards.

While he was cleaning, he told us about the interview. He left out the specifics of the questions, but he explained how they pressed him with the same question from different angles, likely checking for deception. "I just stuck to the truth. It seemed the easiest way."

Starlight pointed a hoof at herself. "Did they ask about me?"

"That's confidential," he half-sang, and we let that go.

All tucked into my bed, I felt... confident. Sure, life had gone strange, but it wasn't a bad strange. We were handling it all responsibly, and getting things done. It wasn't even that bad. I liked how things had turned out, overall.

I faded off to sleep, but never arrived in Equestria. It felt like an instant, and a dreadfully familiar sensation was coming from my head. There was a pony coming out of it. Panic surged and I gave a girly shriek of surprise. The pony echoed the sentiment as she wriggled free, her tail tickling against my face before she turned around, adjusting her huge conical hat. "The Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived!" she declared with a self-confident smile.

"Trixie!" It was Starlight, standing in the doorway with a frazzled look. "I didn't tell you to come here."

"You did not tell her not to come here," Trixie returned as she hopped down from the bed. "So this is where you've been hiding. You should not worry Trixie so much in the future."

I put a hand to my head, which seemed to be whole despite a pony having emerged from it. "I'm starting to feel like a god."

Trixie peeked over her shoulder at me. "Trixie would think a god would not be so surprised."

I put my feet on the ground, sitting up to face our new 'guest'. "It's a myth. Having one's head split open and a new being popping out is not outside the realm of possibility with them."

Trixie looked uncertain. She leaned in towards Starlight. "So, what have you been doing in this strange place? Trixie is glad to see you."

"I'm happy to see you too, even if you are stuck now." Starlight threw her forelegs over Trixie and hugged the blue pony tight a moment.

"Maybe you are stuck, but Trixie plans better than that!" She said confidently. "Trixie can return whenever she wishes."

Huh? "How?"

Trixie reached into her flowing cape and pulled out a rock covered in glitter. "She left one just like it back at home, and rocks will never wake up when you're using them."

Starlight blinked softly. "Linking items is very advanced magic."

"Do you doubt your student?" Trixie wriggled her nose then set the rock down. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order!"

"Everything alright?" Kevin asked, appearing at the doorway. "Holy fuck, Trixie?"

Trixie puffed up at her name being called. "Even in another world, the Great and Powerful Trixie is famous."

"Are you kidding? You're easily one of my top five ponies." Kevin was looking quite pleased indeed, a grin on his face.

Trixie blinked softly. "You have a list? Why is Trixie not at the top of it?" She leaned forward. "Who is #1?"

Starlight prodded Trixie. "Focus, please. You were showing us something?"

"Ah, yes! Behold as Trixie penetrates the flimsy barrier between worlds!" Her hat lifted up in a glow and her horn shone underneath it as she lowered it to point her horn at the glittery rock. Magic engulfed it and the room almost... breathed? It was like everything expanded a moment before contracting back into place. The rock was still a rock.

Starlight raised a brow. "Did it work?"

"Of course it worked," claimed Trixie as she raised a hoof and brought it down on the stone as if to step into it, but she just ended up with a hoof on the stone, standing on it. "Maybe if..." She tapped at it, then flipped it over and tapped the other side. Nothing was happening. "Trixie does not understand..."

Starlight set a hoof on Trixie's back. "Making two things linked and keeping that link working between worlds is an act of great magic. Even Twilight would consider it a sizable task."

Trixie grunted with annoyance. "But she followed all the steps!" She picked up the rock with her magic and hurled it in frustration. It sailed majestically before it bounced on the carpet.

Kevin rubbed behind his head. "So... you're staying for now, Trixie?"

"She has little choice," grumped Trixie. "She will grace you all with her presence." She smiled up at Kevin. "And perhaps you will tell her how you know about her?"

I was feeling tired. I hadn't gotten my sleep. "Great. Trixie, you go with Kevin. You two can catch up. I'm going to bed. We can figure out arrangements in the morning."

With them banished from my room, I could get some sleep.

Now, this next part, I didn't see personally, I mean, how could I? But I did ask about it, and Kevin eventually did share it. He may be sworn to secrecy for the USA, but what he did with Trixie didn't qualify for that.

So, Kevin led Trixie to his room. "You know, I always thought you were treated unfairly the first time you went to Ponyville."

Trixie blinked at that. "You know about that?"

"We have so much to share." He led her to his own computer and pulled up the episode in short order. "Your world is a cartoon here." He hit play and Trixie gaped at the image, its sounds and motions dazzling her.

"You have... interesting magic. It isn't as Great or Powerful as Trixie's... but still interesting." She reared up, her hooves resting on Kevin's desk as she peered at her cartoon self. "Why do all the ponies have such huge eyes?"

"It's drawn that way, to make them more adorable and child-like."

"Ah," breathed out Trixie. "Trixie remembers this time. It did not go exactly as this magic shows, but close enough. She was humiliated." She sank back to her haunches. "Why would you watch this and decide you like her?"

Kevin reached for Trixie, and she gave him a look. He decided to abort the move. "I guess I liked what I imagined you could be. You seemed like an interesting person to me, and I wished you were given a fair chance."

"Trixie might have been... a little aggressive at that show... She has learned from her mistakes." She suddenly smiled. "Are you hoping to see some of Trixie's magic?"

"Don't do anything too grand." Starlight had arrived, walking in without being invited. "We need to keep our presence subtle. This world thinks we're just figments, and we're not here to correct them."

"But Grand is what Trixie does!" complained Trixie with a little pout. "She has mastered making things disappear. Perhaps you would like to see that?"

Starlight nudged her friend. "You don't know this house well enough to send things flying through it. That should wait."

Trixie grunted at Starlight's restraining words. "Fine then. What magic should Trixie demonstrate?"

Starlight tapped her chin thoughtfully as Kevin looked between the two. "Why don't you give him a light show?"

"An excellent idea." Trixie sprang up onto her hindhooves, balancing quite well as she threw out her forehooves wide. "Behold!" Laser lights of different colors scattered across the room and danced as little fireworks exploded around her. "Few can claim to have gotten a personal showing from the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Kevin made a lowering motion with his hands. "Easy on the fireworks. There are laws about those."

Trixie came down to her haunches, stunned. "Why is everything so restrictive!? How is Trixie supposed to give a proper show?"

Starlight leaned in and whispered one word to Trixie.

Trixie suddenly grinned. "Give Trixie something you do not mind losing."

Kevin glanced around his room, considering the options. He grabbed a pen that was on his desk. That seemed safe enough to lose. "How about this? What are you planning to do?"

"Behold!" She zapped the pen, and suddenly Kevin was holding an ornate teacup with Trixie's face on it, smiling at him. He laughed at the absurdity of it, and for not realizing what she was going to do ahead of time. "Uh, just checking, but if you had missed with that?"

Starlight rolled a hoof in the air. "You would be a teacup. I would have fixed you, promise."

Kevin set his new teacup down beside his keyboard. "For now, maybe we should get some sleep?"

"Trixie is not tired."

"I am," said Starlight, agreeing with Kevin. "Come on, I'll show you where I sleep."

Trixie went with her friend, both trotting free of the room.

I woke in stone and heard a soft chime. I shook free of the stone and saw a letter on the floor.

Trixie apologizes but she has caused no harm. Your statue is perfectly safe and sound, but she recommends you secure it better in the future.

I blinked at that. What kind of thief leaves a note after sneaking into a place? I willed the letter to tuck itself away for later and emerged into a hallway of the castle. I was back in Equestria, and I had no specific thing I had to get done that moment. I was free to be me, True Shot. I lifted my bow into view in my magic and considered it a quiet moment. Maybe I would explore some relationships...

That idea became less certain when I stepped outside and found it was evening. Still, better than night? I trotted down the stairs, a motion that still seems like it should be far harder than it is, and took off into Canterlot, eager for a little adventure of the pony kind.

Author's Note

A grand entrance is made. Trixie can only improve the situation.

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60 - Just a Minuette

"True!" came the cheerful tone of my former client. Minuette vanished into the building she had spotted me from through a window and came rushing out onto the street with scarcely a delay. "There you are. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find you?" She stuck out her tongue, still smiling despite her frustration.

I hadn't been lost, from my viewpoint. "Nice to see you, Minuette. Did you have another love question?"

"Oh, there you go, assuming." She tapped me on the nose. Even as I recoiled, she darted in and planted a smooch on the end of my snout. "Always thinking about love. You should watch out for that."

Was I? Well, in a manner, I was. "I was just checking if you were hoping for professional assistance."

"I know that, I'm just teasing you." She looked me over quickly. "You're so focused on everyone else's love, you'll never find a special somepony for yourself."

I opened my mouth to argue, but the truth of it settled on me. The original True had succumbed to exactly that. He busily flitted from one pair to the next, helping them out, and never finding himself a pairing. Except... my life had become... full. As much as I wanted to let go and just be a pony for a while, I couldn't ignore my human side.

Minuette's eyes never left me. "Did I strike a nerve? You seem to be really lost in it."

"Hm?" I came back to the present. "Sorry about that. So why were you looking for me?"

"Why shouldn't a mare look for her new friend?" She rolled her eyes. "Hanging out with friends is one of my favorite things to do, but every time I asked at the castle, they said you weren't available. How are you 'unavailable' so often? Helping that many ponies?

Would that it were true. "It's... complicated."

"Try me." She bounced in place. "I'm no simple-pony, it can't be that complicated."

"If you insist." I shook my head. "How deep do you want to go?"

"That question could be taken a lot of ways," sing-songed Minuette. "Are you secretly a time-traveling alien?"

I blinked softly. "Sort of?"

"That was a joke." She nudged me with the end of a hoof. "Right! Right? ... You are a time traveling alien." She started bouncing all the more. "What kinda alien are you?! Are you from the forgotten past or some unknown future? This is amazing! I never met an alien before. I mean, time-traveler, sure, but alien, that's new!"

Wait... "You've met time-travelers before?" I was gaping at Minuette. "How did that happen?"

Minuette snorted and waved it off emphatically. "Hello, you're speaking to a unicorn who's specialty is time. How could I not run into a few time-travelers? Don't ask me about them specifically though. Most of them don't want to be talked about." She leaned forward. "I'd rather hear about you. What kinda alien are you?"

I settled to my haunches and glanced around a moment. "I don't quite feel right talking about this in the middle of the street. Do you have a better place to chat?"

"My place," she sang and began trotting home. "Are you going to make me swear to secrecy? You time-travelers drive me crazy! You have such amazing stories and you won't let me tell all my other friends about it."

I scrambled back to my hooves and trailed after Minuette. "Does this happen a lot?"

"Not a lot a lot, but enough to see a pattern." She rolled her eyes as she went. "Look, it's cool. If you don't want me to tell anyone, I won't. I'll be annoyed, but I won't tell anypony, promise."

Minuette was a pony that could be given clearance, for pony things. I chuckled softly at the thought even as it raised the more evident question. Was my situation a top secret? Should I be hiding what I am? Ponies seemed accepting people. Maybe I should come out, lay the cards on the table. "Would you believe that I spend most of my waking hours as a human being?"

"Human--What?!" She spun around to face me. "The big biped things? Naked except for a mane, no tail? That sound right?"

That was not the most flattering description I had every heard. "Mostly right. You've heard of them then?"

Minuette willed her door open and stepped inside. "You kidding? Twilight told me all about them, said she was one for a while. I didn't quite get it, but they sounded interesting. Wait!" She spun again. "Did you come through a mirror like she did?"

I walked past her to not be standing in the street. "I've heard of those, but no."

"If not mirrors, how?" She closed the door and trotted past me in turn. "I'll grab some tea and cookies, you keep telling your story. I wanna hear every word!"

I watched her wander off towards the kitchen and decided to settle on a cushion she had laying around. "I got mixed up with a long dead pony by means of a statue constructed of him. His spirit came into my body, and my spirit slipped into his statue. He moved me around while I animated his statue."

"Statue!?" She came back with a kettle and two cups and set them down, starting to pour out tea with her magic. "You do look kinda... statuey, no, statue-like?"

"Statuesque?"

"That's the word!" She thrust a hoof up with joy, then gestured after a cup as it floated over to me. "Drink up. You're not really a statue, right?"

I shook my head at that as I took hold of the cup with my own magic and took a sip. It was delicious. Did ponies know how to make things that weren't tasty? "Thank you, and I don't think so? Not while I'm awake at least. If I fall asleep, I will turn back into a statue. Just bring me to the castle if that happens, alright?"

"Roger wilco." She looked off long enough to grab a package of cookies that rapidly flew over to join us. "So now you're a pony and a human?"

"That's a fair assessment." I accepted a cookie and dipped it in the tea before chomping it. Mmm. "It gets worse."

"Worse?" She leaned in eagerly, eyes shining. "Tell me."

"I'm a, uh, mare. When I'm a human that is."

Minuette gave a sudden loud giggling. "Oh wow! That explains so much! You kept giving off these little hints. I thought you were, you know, just a girly stallion."

I felt insulted, even if I couldn't put a finger on why precisely. "I'm not girly." Not while I was True Shot, eligible bachelor!

She shrank back a little. "Oh there I go, letting my mouth run faster than my brain. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything bad by it."

"No, no, it's alright."

She wasn't listening. "You're a stallion's stallion! I mean--"

"It's alright, Minuette." I reached and placed a hoof on either of her shoulders. "Thank you."

Her worried expression brightened into a bright white smile. "Quite welcome. So, uh, enjoying being a pony?"

"When I think about it, I'm reminded how many things are... not where they should be. How many sensations I feel I shouldn't, and others I should, but don't." I sat up tall. "I'm an alien, but to answer your question, I think I do like it. Not enough to trade away my human life, but I enjoy the visits."

Minuette's voice suddenly became robotic. "Greetings alien life form." She burst into giggles. "So what's your human name?"

"Linda. Linda Frohein."

"Huh, that does sound like a mare's name, but you can't tell from a name alone. What does it mean?"

Amusingly, I had checked that once before. "Soft, tender, beautiful."

Minuette tilted her head. "You are soft and tender I think, but you're more handsome than the other thing. Guess I'd have to see you as a human to get the other part. Was that the whole name?"

"The last one's just a family name. It doesn't mean anything that I could find anyway."

"I'm sure it did at some point." Minuette tilted her head. "Maybe it got changed over time?"

I hadn't thought of that. "You may have a point there."

"Enough names though. You're True Shot right now, right?"

"Right." I smiled at her. Minuette's smiles were infectious. "Well, there you go, my deep dark secret."

"Well, now I feel like I should trade secrets." She tapped at her chin even as she chewed at a cookie held in her magic. "But I don't have a lot of secrets that are actually mine to give away."

"It's alright," I gently insisted. "You're being a fine host and a friend."

She smiled so wide a little squeak came from her stretched flesh. "I'm glad to hear you say that. I was afraid you'd just see me as a client and not as a friend. You know, some ponies really get hung up on that, but I don't see it that way. Just because somepony pays me for something doesn't suddenly make them not a friend."

Was Minuette really that eager to make friends? "Not meaning any offense here, but we don't really know each other. Why are you so eager to be friends?"

"I need a reason?" She arched a brow at me. "Besides, how can I get to know you if I don't try? Now I know you're an alien, and that's pretty cool! I'm a unicorn, but you already knew that. I guess you're a unicorn too? Sometimes?" She reached for my horn. "Can you use it?"

"I've only learned a single spell," I confessed.

"But you learned a spell!" gushed Minuette. "That's further than many, believe me."

"What about you?" I pointed at her. "Do you know a lot of magic?"

"Well..." She rubbed behind her head, looking awkward all of a sudden. "I don't want to brag..."

"Go ahead. You know more than me, and that's alright. I just barely started being a pony."

"My specialty is time." She pointed at her rump where the hourglass rested. "Magic that's related to it comes naturally. I soak it up like a dry sponge, nom nom nom!" She made exaggerated chomping motions. "I've learned other spells too, mind you, but it's not as easy as time spells."

Author's Note

Minuette, Canterlot's Pinkie Pie.

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61 - Lost Time

It was at that moment that a question that had been plaguing me came back. "Minuette?"

"Hmm?" She nudged the box of cookies beside her. "Want another? They're tasty aren't they?"

"They are," I agreed. Not that most Equestrian food wasn't delicious. "But that's not the question. You see, when I go to sleep in the other world, I come here, right, but I come here at different times each and every time. It's annoying to say the least. No one knows when I'll pop back exactly."

Minuette's cheerful expression fell to serious consideration almost instantly. "Cross dimensional," she muttered under her breath, her jaw working as if other words were coming. "There are a thousand theories." She hopped up to her hooves. "But nopony actually had a multi-dimensional pony to work with before, so it's all hypotheses and less proven theory." Suddenly she giggled. "Thank you for trusting me. I accept the job!"

Job? "Come again?"

"You want me to fix this, right?"

Oh. "If you can, that would be great. Just be careful about it."

Minuette waved a hoof lightly. "Of course, of course. You love both of your worlds and I don't want to take you away from either. There are lots of possibilities. For instance... In theory, we could split your perception."

That sounded alarming. "What would that entail, exactly?"

Minuette sat on her haunches and put her hooves together. "Right now you're all together. You're either there, or here." She brought the hooves apart. "But we could change that, make you here and there at once. Then you would live both lives, go to sleep at the same time, everything. One mind, two bodies."

"That... sounds incredibly confusing. Would you want to deal with two lives at the exact same time?"

Minuette shrugged. "I've done it before once or twice. When time's really crunched, I split up and go off in two directions. I guess it would be confusing for a not-time pony..." She huffed softly. "Alright, next idea in the form of a question. When would you like to be here?"

That was easy. "If it's a choice, I'd rather wake up here in the morning and go to sleep in the evening, then wake up back in my original world in the morning, repeat. Instead my visits here are always shorter than my time home, er, my first home." Was Equestria a home? Part of me wanted it to be one, but not the only. I still liked being a human, and a lawyer, thanks.

Minuette's eyes wandered down over me, then her head tilted. "That's odd."

I glanced down, following her eyes, and saw the grey of stone coming over me. Oops. "I'm waking up."

"May I study you while you're gone?"

"Be sure to let Celestia know," I cautioned, not wanting them to worry where I was.

"I will, and I have a friend that'll help me out with this." She put a hoof on my chest as it grew firmer. "You're in good hooves. You did right by me, it's only fair I return the service."

As the stone swept up over my face, the last thing I saw was Minuette running her hoof over me, exploring. Then, I woke up.

I sat up in bed, refreshed as if I had just been dreaming instead of living a whole other life. Speaking of that, I decided I should get that started. Sliding from bed, I started to greet the day.

Trixie was seated beside Starlight in the dining room, both sipping coffee and chatting. Kevin was making food.

Upon seeing me, Trixie aborted her conversation. "Trixie would like to accompany you to your work."

Starlight put a leg over Trixie. "I'll help her hide. I don't want to leave her here, it's boring."

Kevin shrugged as if he had heard their plan earlier, but failed to dissuade them.

A question came to me. "Trixie, you're a spellcaster, right?"

"Trixie is a great and dazzling one, yes." She gave a prim nod. "She must give you a demonstration, later. Why?"

I rolled a hand. "So are you going to transform yourself into a human?"

Trixie colored a little. "Trixie needs... Trixie will try!"

"No!" barked Starlight. "Not this again. You will try when I say it's time to try. I love you, but I'm not budging on this. Let me handle this, for now."

Trixie frowned severely. "You do not trust Trixie?"

"I trust Trix--you to learn it properly. I'll show you after we get back from work today, and tomorrow perhaps you'll do it yourself. I know you can do it, with some practice." She leaned in then. "In fact, I bet you'll pick it up faster than I did."

Trixie was easily mollified at the complimenting words. "Trixie will master the spell without a problem. For now, she supposes, she will trust you, Starlight."

"I'll make you into a pretty human, at least as far as they see."

Trixie tilted her head a little. "Trixie cares more about being Great and Powerful, but being easy on the eyes assists in this, so please, do proceed."

It was just at that point that I realized that I had agreed to take Trixie on by not specifically disagreeing. I considered the options. Did I want her in the house, possibly trying to be 'great and powerful' out of the sight of anyone that could keep her under control? No... taking her was likely the best course of action. What would the director think? "I'm becoming a veritable spring of ponies."

Breakfast was devoured, showers taken, clothes put on, and I was ready for work. I emerged from my room to find a new woman.

It was Trixie. It didn't take long to figure it out. She was wearing her wizard's hat and cloak proudly. She was also... pudgy. That struck me as curious. "Looking good," I complimented somewhat emptily and Trixie danced off, pleased.

I went for Starlight. "Why is Trixie so... round?"

Starlight hiked a brow. "I thought humans liked round."

I blinked, when had that come around? "Round in a few specific places, though tastes do vary." There was one easy way to explain. I raised my hands to my chest. "Human males tend to focus on here." Down went the hands to my back end. "And others back here. Those are the two most popular places to like 'big'. Some like big everywhere, but they're not as common as the first two."

Starlight's eyes fell to my chest, then glanced down at her own. "Are we not pretty then?"

Ouch... "I'm large enough," I said in a defensive hiss, blood rushing to my cheeks at the scathing burn delivered by a pony that had no idea how much it had hit. "I'm not a model, it's true, but I'm not flat either." I rolled my eyes. "Scratch that, some models are flat. People are strange. Are you two ready for work?"

Starlight pulled out her tablet and waved it at me. "Do you have another one of these?"

I did not, but... "When we get there, I'll let Trixie borrow my phone. It's not as large of a screen, but it'll do until we get another tablet."

Starlight hiked a brow. "So long as you're alright with her putting things on it. Now that she's here, I want to play a few games with her that claim they're multiplayer. That means we can both play, right?"

I imagined several screens of apps cluttering up my poor phone. "Can you try to keep it to, maybe, six apps? And, yes, that is what that means."

Kevin's voice came from the front, "I'll meet you there." And he was gone.

It was me and the two magical ponies hiding as humans. One, my sister. The other, a pudgy power house dressed up like a wizard. Why... "Do you have to wear that?"

Trixie glanced up at her hat and back at her cape. "Why wouldn't Trixie wear this?"

Starlight held up her hands placatingly. "Let her have this. I've seen worse already."

Welcome to California. We had seen some oddly dressed people. "Alright, but where we're going is not really a place for magic shows."

"Trixie has been told." She gave a dramatic bow. "She will be a Great and Courteous guest."

I shepherded them out of the house and into my car, and off we went. Trixie's eyes roamed over human civilization with curious eyes. "You were not joking. They have so much magic... And their inventions work so smoothly. A lesser pony might be terrified."

Starlight gave a little snort. "But not you, of course."

"Of course," she agreed. "Do they do magic performances in this world? Maybe with that lightning magic you were speaking of?"

Actually... "There are people who put on shows with lightning. They can play songs with it while being struck with bolts of electricity." I'd seen a few videos of it. "It's not the most practical thing, but it looks very interesting."

Starlight leaned in from the back seat. "Magic is not always about 'practical'. Trixie would know. If it captivated the audience and stirred the imagination, it did its job well. She would like to see this lightning display."

I made tepid assurances, should I spot such a performance, we would see it. "When we get to work, Trixie, you are here to help on the case I'm currently mixed up in, which is true. I'll be informing them of your arrival, and they may want to see you. Likely not today, but..."

Trixie lifted her shoulders. "Trixie will say hello to them. Do they like displays of power?"

"You should probably avoid that around them."

"If she must."

I pulled in at work and we all piled out of the car. I could see Trixie was stumbling in her walking, but she was hiding it as best she could. She was a proud person, that much was obvious.

I put a hand on her shoulder. "That was a very brave thing you did."

Trixie blinked. "Hmm? What was?"

"Trying to rescue your friend." I squeezed gently. "I'm sure she appreciates the attempt."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "I would have been happier if she just stayed home and waited for me."

Trixie pouted a little. "She couldn't just rest idly while her friend was in mortal peril on an alien world! Trixie had to act, so she did."

"What's done is done." I started for the building. "We move on."

The secretary started when we all came in off the elevator. "Oh, good morning, Linda. Who's your friend? Oh..." She pointed towards my office. "There's someone already here to see you." She leaned closer. "It's the client!"

The client? There was only one person who qualified for that title...

Author's Note

We'll leave Minuette to her devices for now. It's working time! Which is like clobbering time, with better pay and less medical bills.

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62 - A Swanson Song

I opened the door to my office to find Director Swanson seated in the guest chair, facing the door, and us. Her carefully composed face took the appearance of Trixie in stride. She was silent as we entered, but once the door was closed behind us, she rose. "Pleasure to see you all this morning." Her eyes were on Trixie. "We haven't met. I am Director Swanson."

Trixie looked mildly confused, but focused on her showmanship. "A pleasure to meet you, but the pleasure is truly yours, to meet the Great and Powerful Trixie." A handful of sparkling glitter exploded upwards at the announcement, and I felt a little bad for the janitor that would have to clean it up.

I decided to try to disarm any misgivings, "Trixie came looking for Starlight. She's not here to make trouble, promise."

Starlight had a less forgiving expression, brow arched. "You don't look surprised to see her."

Swanson stepped aside and gestured for the chair as if Starlight or Trixie might want it. "I had hoped to bring Miss Frohein onboard directly, but that failure doesn't make her any less of a matter of interest."

Trixie accepted the seat, plopping herself down and holding out a hand towards me. Right. I dug out my phone and placed it in the waiting hand. She giggled with her loot and began tapping away, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room.

The way Swanson had said that... "I'm being watched."

"That you are. Cleared or not, you are the one with the information. As a loyal American, we trust you'll share it with the proper authorities?"

Free information? Basically not a thing. "We have an agreement already in place. I haven't received my payment" Swanson wasn't nearly interesting or adorable enough to pay for information with her presence.

"I feared as much." She crossed her arms. "You do realize, witholding information is another potential concern..." She suddenly waved it away. "Let's not play the posture game. We're both professionals. Here." She gave an underhanded toss of a flash drive.

I caught it, but didn't move to do anything with it right away. Smart people didn't shove strange flash drives into their computer as a first instinct. "And this is?"

"A revised contract. You'll be coming aboard as an outside informant." Her eyes darted to Starlight and Trixie. "Ideally these two as well. It will come with a working visa, so you'll stop breaking the law and start being documented."

Starlight rolled a hand in the air as she set the other on her hip. "So we're still getting paid, right?"

"Of course," assured Swanson easily. "It would be a crime to assume you'll work for free." She leaned forward towards Starlight. "It would seem the method used to gain access to America works reliably." Her eyes darted to the occupied Trixie before returning to Starlight. "Does it work in reverse?"

She was implacable, though I couldn't fault her, not really. She was doing her job. Trixie proved to be the one with the answer, even if her face never left my phone. "That's an answer you'll get after we've reviewed that contract."

Starlight flashed a bright smile. "That's the truth of it. We're sorry for our unconventional methods. We're not trying to cause trouble."

Swanson wiggled a few fingers at me. "Kindly do so quickly. I have a project pending that I want you present for, today if we can swing it."

She sounded impatient, and I didn't like impatient government workers. It was a good part of my job to make sure that never happened. I slipped in the drive and there were two files awaiting review within. One for me, and one for non-nationals, AKA Starlight and Trixie. I got right to reviewing.

While I worked, Starlight looked Swanson over. "So... You're like a Royal Guard, right?"

Swanson gave a little restrained laugh at that. "I've never heard it put that way. I'd think the military fits that title better, if any. America doesn't have royalty. No kings in this land."

Trixie asked without looking up, "What about princesses?"

"None of those, either," agreed Swanson, sounding amused. "We are a republic."

Discussion flowed naturally to what a republic specifically meant, but I tuned into the contract. It seemed clear. It had clauses calling for secrecy, to no surprise in general. Non-disclosures everywhere.

One part jumped out at me. "What's this about 'recovery of foreign nationals'?"

Swanson aborted the conversation she was in. "To put it simply, you are not to attempt the removal of any foreign citizen in our care without our direct permission. There are due processes to be obeyed." Her eyes darted to Trixie. "So we'll follow the rules. If you determine a way to return them to their native country, we can then investigate ways to do that properly. Until then, they are not to be moved."

A vision of the foal that had been shared with me came to mind. Swanson didn't want us grabbing one of those little ponies and dashing off with them. That seemed... fair. "I trust that doesn't include Starlight and Trixie?"

"If they sign on, they'll be properly documented and not subject to these clauses, being legally present and permitted to move as they please. Did you see anything else you had questions about?"

Trixie set down my phone. "And if we don't agree?"

Swawnson let out a soft sigh. "I'm trying to avoid threats, but I can't think of a way to say this that won't come across as one. If you don't become part of the project, you become a subject of it instead. You are a foreign national, undocumented, with no reasonable way to deport you, with the ability to cause mass panic with your presence. We would have to secure you."

Her eyes moved to me. "And don't think we've forgotten your situation. You're in a delicate position, one that could change two worlds at once. That sounds dramatic, but you're the only direct point of contact the entire country has with a new foreign one. I feel I should point out that this is not a secret just I hold. Your file has been making the rounds internally."

There was absolutely no way that was a good thing. Even if I shook off Swanson, there would be others behind her. My life was basically over. Not in that dramatic death sort of way, but the life I knew was gone, replaced by another. Welcome to being an adult. I signed on with Swanson, or invited greater examination and possible reprisals from her and others. As part of the project, I would have a place in the machine, and would likely be left alone.

That was a lousy choice. While I grappled with it, Trixie had resumed playing a game. Starlight was chatting with Swanson. Listening to the two was fascinating, just from the tones of their voices. The two were verbally sparring for information, perhaps a little dominance? I couldn't be sure, but most of my attention was on making sure the contracts were as clean as I could hope for.

That reminded me of something. As I swept back and forth over the document, reading obsessively and checking and cross-checking, I asked, "What about Kevin?"

"I should think you know." She crossed her arms before they went to her sides. "He'll be your contact, presuming you're onboard."

Oh... That was priceless. "He's my superior?"

"In this project, yes. He has clearance, you do not. I trust this won't cause issues?"

Starlight got the humor of it as well and burst into the laughter I was having internally. "This will be good for him, or at least see if he can handle it without it going to his head." She clapped Swanson on the shoulder. "We'll be good for him."

Swanson gave a mildly forced-looking smile. "See that you do. He may have to make decisions you do not immediately agree with, but if you trust him, and us, please follow directions."

That didn't sound shady at all... Of course, it both was and was not. We were jumping into the deep end of red tape heaven, or hell. "How fast do you need this completed?"

"Now would be ideal. I've already secured permission to take you all off-site to where it starts."

No pressure. I waved Starlight and Trixie over, and soon our signatures graced all the proper lines. The files were printed out and emailed and that was that. We were government employees. A position considered enviable at one point, but that point had receded into the past.

Swanson looked genuinely pleased. "Welcome to the project. I'll get the paperwork mill running on getting your visas mailed to you, in the meanwhile..." She fished out two little booklets, handing one to either of them. "These are temporary passports, properly stamped. They are your identification and should be used as such any time you are requested to provide them."

Even Trixie found that odd. "Why do you have one for Trixie? She just got here."

"You're an interest," repeated Swanson. "Your arrival was already known." She flipped open one of the little books. It looked a bit bare as passports went. "Yours does not have a photo, we need to remedy that immediately, but other than that, it is legally valid."

Starlight crossed her arms. "So how long have you been spying on Linda?"

The room became quiet a moment. "As soon as the warrant went through," confessed Swanson. "It wasn't an ambiguous case."

I imagined it wasn't. Permission to spy on literal aliens? What court would say no? "That's enough about that." I pushed away from my desk and rose to my feet. "Let's get going."

Swanson nodded as she moved for the door. "First, that photograph, then, we introduce you to the project properly. Kevin will be there. He's already enjoying the tour."

Trixie passed my phone back to me as she joined the departing line. "Trixie has not had a job, not like this. She usually works for herself. This is a new experience, but she will rise to it in an Astounding way."

Starlight gave a brief little chuckle as we left. "Can't say I've had much experience either, but this isn't a normal kind of job."

The secretary gave a friendly wave as we went past. "Good luck," she almost sang out. I hoped she never became jaded.

As it turned, Trixie ate up modern photography technology. Once she understood what was going on, she worked that camera eagerly and was sad when the photographer insisted he had plenty of shots to work with. "But she was just getting started. You haven't captured half her amazing sides!"

Starlight ribbed her friend lightly. "All your sides are amazing sides."

"Trixie cannot argue this." She gave a helpless shrug. "It's a curse, but one she bears with dignity."

Author's Note

Welcome! The curtain gets to be pulled back a bit and we get some answers, dang it. What questions do you have? Post below. I read every comment, so you may influence what information gets discussed in the next chapter.

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63 - New Purpose

We drove out of the city, up into the hills. Trixie and Starlight were both curious and eager to see everything while I worried about what I was getting into. Worrying or not, I was doing it, so I kept focused on the road ahead of me as best I can.

"How many do you think they have?"

"I'm not sure. If it's a lot, you'd think we would have already heard about it."

I wasn't paying attention to who said what, just following Swanson's dark car.

It figured that wherever we were going might not have an address I could put into Google.

"At least Trixie's badge of citizenry looks nice." It wasn't hard to figure out which one of them that was.

A hand landed on my shoulder, a gentle touch. "Are you alright?" asked Trixie.

I started with surprise, multiple. I hadn't expected to be touched, nor did I expect Trixie, of the two, to ask that question. "Oh, uh--"

"Trixie understands. You are being asked to perform. When she was young, she had to face that fear to become the showmare she is today. Even now, she gets scared sometimes." Her hand squeezed lightly. "You have a big advantage. You're not alone."

"Yeah," piped in Starlight. "We're with you every step of the way. Oh! Trixie, did you know Linda here is learning magic too, when she's a unicorn that is."

"Really?!" Trixie exclaimed with excitement bubbling. "How far have they gotten? Can they make teacups?"

I could almost feel Starlight's smirk without looking. "She hasn't reach transfiguration yet, but she did cast her first spell. It isn't nearly as flashy as the teacup spell, of course, but she did it."

Trixie's hand withdrew from my shoulder to clap in polite applause. "Trixie will have to show you her magic, real magic, when we have the chance. Welcome to the club of wizardry."

We arrived. It looked like a small village tucked away in the mountains. A village with a big fence and high security. As we approached by the one road in, each car, Swanson's and my own, was stopped and checked. They checked our ID and had a look over everything. One of the two guards had a wand of some sort, that crackled like a geiger counter. The car had nothing that interested them.

At least until they waved it over us. I made it crackle a little. Trixie made it squeal once they reached her head. The guard frowned at her. "Miss, can you remove your hat?"

Trixie grabbed for her hat, holding it to her head. "She will not, thank you."

Swanson came walking up. "What's the issue?"

"Radiation detected," reported the guard. "They're all putting it off, but she's--" he hiked a thumb at Trixie. "--out of normal protocol."

I raised a finger. "I presume we're talking about that 'special' radiation and not gamma waves?"

Swanson looked annoyed at my question, and ignored it. "They're with me. Everything's alright. It's part of an experiment we're conducting today."

"This will be documented," noted the guard as he returned to his station. We were clear to proceed.

Swanson waved towards a parking lot. "Go ahead and get your car settled and we can begin the tour."

With the cars set in their proper place, we began hiking into the village together. Swanson was leading the way, "The guards know just as much as they need to know, so kindly don't go over anything with them. Their main function is to prevent unauthorized humans from entering, or allowing any ponies to be smuggled out. I doubt Miss Lulamoon is smuggling a pony under her hat."

"That would be a trick," agreed Trixie, but she didn't specifically deny it, I quietly noted.

Starlight's eyes wandered across the two story houses we were passing. "So, where are the ponies?"

"They are instructed to remain in a specific part of the town, to minimize visibility." Swanson gestured ahead. "This isn't as dramatic as Jurassic Park, but welcome to Ponyville."

Starlight and Trixie both burst into laughter. I had the dignity to hold it in, instead asking, "Who decided on that name?"

Swanson shook her head even as she continued her march. "Someone else. What's wrong with the name?"

Starlight recovered, following after us. "Oh, nothing. It's just... That's the name of the town we live in."

Trixie nodded. "Trixie does not live there, but has visited enough times. This place does not look like Ponyville."

And yet, it had ponies. As we crossed another intersection of houses, they came into view. There were three in sight. One pegasus with their wings bound and two earth ponies. They appeared to be chatting. One of the earth ponies was much smaller than the others and quite familiar. It was the foal that was shown to me before.

They saw us as we saw them. There wasn't much to stop it. They looked at us curiously, but didn't move to approach.

Swanson didn't stop her walk. "They're nervous. This is one part of several that we want you here. Being in contact with others of their kind will help considerably."

Trixie shrugged as she went. "Why can't they have the badges of citizenry too?"

Starlight nudged her. "I can answer that, because they can't stop looking like ponies. None of them are unicorns."

"Precisely so," agreed Swanson. "Good afternoon," she called out to the ponies as we came into chatting range. "I trust everything is going alright?"

The pegasus nodded. "Any... progress on a place to fly? My wings are getting a little... I want to fly."

A quick idea jumped into my head. "Why not just tarp a large area to allow for private workouts?"

"Not secure enough," flatly denied Swanson. "Construction on a gymnasium is planned, and you'll be given full freedom to exercise and be unbound within it."

The foal, a colt, approached us with his big curious eyes. "You seem different."

Trixie squatted down to be on his level. "Hello there, colt. Have you heard of the Great and Powerful Trixie?"

The colt's eyes shined. "A friend of mine saw her!"

Trixie was pleased. "And now you have as well! We have come to help you."

The colt struck the ground with his little forehooves in an applause. "Are you taking us home?"

Trixie suddenly looked less sure. "That is beyond Trixie's powers, but she will help here."

The larger earth pony was peering at Trixie. "Trixie's a unicorn, not a human."

Trixie stuck out her tongue at the mare. "Trixie can be whatever she wants, because she has magic."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "She has magic friends."

"That too."

Swanson turned to me. "There are others. Can your friends stop hiding as humans, just to prove their claims?"

Starlight put a hand at her hip. "Her 'friends' can be talked to directly." With a shower of sparkles, Starlight released the spell that held her in a human shape and fell to all fours in ill-fitting clothes. She wriggled her way free and her magic quickly folded the clothes in a neat pile. "Ta da."

All three of the ponies were gaping. The little one charged at her and sat down to clop his little hooves together. "Oh wow!"

The pegasus tilted her head. "It's good to see friends, but what can you actually... do?"

Swanson shook her head. "Today we meet everyone. Do you know where the others are?"

The pegasus pointed to one of the buildings. "The others are watching television. They're bored."

The colt shook his head. "Running River's not bored. She's in love with the thing!"

The earth mare gave a smirk at that. "I can't argue that. She can't get enough human plays, and there seems to be an infinite number of them."

I found a hand gravitating towards the colt. I gently mussed his soft mane and scratched behind an ear. He seemed to like it. "So how many are here?"

"Roughly a dozen," answered Swanson in an officious tone. "That number may change. If things go ideally, this will be the center point of all such activity. Now, let's discuss your company." She gestured for me to follow, so I did, even if it meant leaving warm fuzzy ears behind.

"You probably think we have a lot built. I'm going to banish that illusion." She threw open the door to one of the houses, revealing... a lot of nothing. It was a facade, and not even a very secure-looking one. "We need this village built, all of it. Dozens of buildings, that gymnasium I mentioned, and others. It's a considerable project. Your company has a pedigree of making sure such projects are done in a timely fashion, and you need to be here for other reasons. I think you see where I'm going."

I glanced back to see the five ponies (if you include Trixie and Starlight) chatting amiably. "So you want me to head this project? To remind, I'm a lawyer. I'm not usually the one leading the contractors."

"Neither of you are," agreed Swanson. "But you are connected with those that are. You two will make this happen."

"Linnie!" Kevin called out, approaching at a brisk jog. "Hey, welcome!" He was dressed much like Swanson was. Was that a uniform for them? "What have you been told?"

Swanson smiled at that. "Good question. You're already getting the hang of it. She knows the ponies are here, and met a few." She gestured to where the chat was happening amongst equines. "I just informed her of the project I want you two to lead to get this place fully operational."

Kevin clapped his hands together firmly. "I can't wait to get started. I've spent so long telling other people to trust us and our builders, it'll be nice to be on the ground floor as it happens for a change."

A thought bothered me. "How will we get these contractors in here and working without compromising the secrets that you don't seem ready to have blown yet?"

Swanson lifted her shoulders. "The ponies will be relocated during workdays. Leave that to us. There is another matter we're hoping you can help us resolve."

Somehow, I didn't like the tone of that. "Yes?"

"You have contact with the other country, Equestria." She gestured to the conversation. "It would be a poor first move to keep their citizens hidden from them. We want to provide pictures and documentation of the ponies we have to see if they have been reported missing and to assure them that they are safe in our care at this time. We would hope, at minimum, such courtesy would be extended to America were the situation reversed."

Author's Note

The wheels are turning.

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65 - Can We Build It?

"Let's head back," I spoke to my phone. It was on the dashboard in the middle of a call on speakerphone.

"Alright, I'll meet you at the house," came Kevin's tinny voice.

"I'm not ready to call it a day, yet. Let's bring this project to work and get them started."

"I already emailed the basic specs."

Starlight looked surprised. "Look who's taking charge."

I nodded, unsure, but happy. "Good thinking, but I'd feel happier going over it, in person. This is the most... personally involved project I've been in."

"I'm heading home. I don't want to say what shouldn't be said. If you want to handle that part, fantastic. Good luck."

That reminded me. "What exactly should be talked about?"

"Not the ponies."

That part seemed obvious... "So we just tell them it's just a regular town out here?"

"It is one. Its residents might be odd, but that's not their business."

Trixie leaned in from the back. "So long as ponies are allowed to modify things, our things aren't that different from human things."

"That's the spirit."

I wasn't quite as certain about that. "Are they going to let ponies near hammers, saws, and other tools that can easily double as weapons in the eyes of paranoid caretakers?"

"Well, they could... No..." I could easily imagine him trying to think of ways to make the tools safe, but a safe saw wasn't a saw. A safe hammer was not a hammer. There wasn't such a thing as a 'safe' carpentry tool.

"Ultimately, the ponies are prisoners," I sighed out. "They're being confined to a specific place and their freedoms are severely restricted even within it."

"Hey, they're trying to take care of them."

"Yes, it's a very nice jail. It's still a jail. It's our job to make it the nicest jail we can. Hey, jails can trust inmates to handle deadly tools in specific places, I'll try to suggest a workshop area to help with morale."

I heard his sigh over the speakerphone. "That may work. Look, you want to make this better? Stop tip-toeing around and do what you can."

"What I can?"

"You are the contact. Get the right people talking to each other. You may not want to be the diplomat, but who the heck else is going to do this? Think of it as a project. You get people talking, make sure laws are followed, and get the project done. This is right up your alley if you stop overthinking it."

Starlight rolled a hand. "He has a point. You are the literal halfway point, but you aren't alone. I know more about the pony side of things, and I've had a good bit of exposure to the human side." She leaned in, looking at me with her face that still looked like a sister. "I'm your mirror."

"Trixie makes a Great mirror as well." Trixie huffed softly. "She knows of ponies and humans as well."

Starlight glanced back at her friend. "Trixie, I love you, but you have a... unique perspective."

"Everything about her is unique," she agreed. "How is that bad?"

Kevin laughed through the phone. He could hear the exchange easily. "See you back at the house." The call disconnected.

I tried to focus more on the act of driving, even if there wasn't a lot to see once we were away from the town-to-be. "So, what do you two think?"

Starlight lifted her shoulders. "I don't see what the confusion is. We need to talk to whoever your princess is and get them in contact with our princess and make things nice and official."

"America is not matriarchal," I pointed out with a raised brow. "It's pretty deeply patriarchal, in fact."

Trixie snorted behind us. "No wonder you are so uncertain. A stallion doing a mare's job, just imagine it." She leaned in, head poking into view. "Or is your prince more like King Sombra?"

Starlight must have seen my confused expression. "Ancient evil king that mind controlled his populace."

"That... isn't too far off, though ours uses slick words to convince desperate people that he has what they want. America is a democracy, which means we can get what we deserve, for better or worse. Your timing couldn't be much worse." I slapped the steering wheel in frustration. "And you're telling me I should march across the country and talk with the guy. I don't see that ending well."

Trixie shrugged. "We could take a train there. How long would that take?"

Not hard to find out. I reached out and broke the law messing with my phone as I drove. I quickly prompted Google. "Train ride from San Francisco to Washington DC." Boop, the results came up quickly. "Wow. A week by train. No, if I wanted to go, I'd go by air."

Starlight leaned in to see what was on the phone. "Hot air balloon?"

"Oh no, jet plane." I was amused at the idea of lazilly drifting towards DC in a balloon. "Much faster. We'd get there in the same day. But that's besides the point. I'd need an appointment if I even wanted to dream of it, and they'd be nightmares." I shuddered softly. "I can ask Swanson about it, but with the way things are going, he probably won't even want to see me anyway."

Trixie tapped me on the shoulder. "Is he busy? Our princess is often busy with various affairs. This is important though. You just have to impress on him the magnitude of the event." She flung out a hand past me. "It's not every day you have another country eager to open ties." I could somehow feel her smile. "And this human world is blessed with Trixie's presence."

I wanted to laugh, but my mind was in darker places, considering the options. I could play along, helping them make the most comfortable jail as possible for the ponies we had. I could go rogue and flee to the most visible place possible. Starlight and Trixie would both be willing to show off their alien nature if prompted. Trixie was likely eager to do it without prompting.

One flight purchase would get us to the UN, where we could try to argue our way to the floor. Or...

I had a thought, but I saved it for later.

We arrived back at work and piled out of the car. Trixie reached for the sun above. "She is glad to be done with the driving. You don't need your phone anymore, right? She can borrow it?"

I surrendered it to her and headed inside. Starlight was snickering at her friend as she went.

The secretary gave a big smile on seeing us. "Welcome back! The boss hasn't looked this happy in a while. He's been in a storm of phone calls."

"I have time for her." Oops, there he was. "Welcome back, Linda." He threw his hands out wide. "And with your new friends. Kevin wired over the basic specs and it's a hell of a project. They want us to basically build a town out of almost nothing, and in a rush. The cost of that, to them, will be quite a sight to behold."

No bad time to fish, I decided. "So this is the big project you brought me here for, right?"

"As if there's doubt. One hundred percent worth it, right?" He elbowed me lightly. "We can both retire on this money, not that I plan to call it quits here. We do well, we might be considered for other big projects, and I'm all over that idea."

Starlight rolled a hand. "So you have everything you need?"

He paused, taking in Starlight. "Some time you're going to have to tell me how you're involved in this. The secrecy around this project is driving me wild, but still worth it. I'm lining up the contractors right now. They want ASAP service, and I plan to deliver. Linda, have you done the prelim legal check?"

I raised a brow. "That sounds like something to get started on right now. I had a feeling there were things needing done before I could call this a day. I need to check if the area is anywhere near any other official town limits and see what the process is for California for declaring a new one, which I have a feeling our employers want." All the better for being able to set local laws and regulations. Remaining entirely off the map seemed unlikely, and if you weren't going to try to be entirely black, hiding as a boring little place worked far better. "I'm on it."

I led the way, Trixie and Starlight trailing behind. They took seats and began toying on their devices as I got to work, and there was plenty to be done to make sure the project went smoothly. There were also other matters I wanted to look into, so I did.

It all involved ponies, so I didn't feel too bad chasing this other not-directly-related project as I went. I glanced up at the two. "Do either of you know the population of Equestria?"

"Millions?" ventured Starlight. "Why? I never saw the numbers before. We have wide stretches of nothing, but some incredibly dense places."

I clacked away at the keyboard. "A country has a difficult time being recognized if it's too small. I'm going to need some specific numbers, both in size and population. GDP would also be helpful."

Trixie looked up from her game. "GD-what? Trixie has not heard of this. Is this a human thing?" She shook her chubby cheeks. "Perhaps you would be better asking Twilight. She likes facts and figures."

Starlight nodded in rapid agreement. "She's the perfect pony to ask about that. If she doesn't know herself, she'd know where to look to get it. Seriously though, what are you up to?" She leaned over the desk, trying to peek at my screen.

I casually minimized the window. "I'm checking what paths are open to us. We have a problem." I let out a little sigh. "Part of being a country is being recognized by other countries, and there isn't a single country on this planet that would sign off on Equestria, seeing as they have no idea what it is beyond a children's fantasy."

Trixie clapped her hands together suddenly, making me jump. "Then we should show them. Something flashy and brilliant that they can't ignore. It is fortunate that you have Trixie by your side to perform Great and Powerful feats of magic!"

Starlight rolled a hand. "If I tell you that's a bad idea, will you listen?"

Trixie pouted at that. "Only because it is you." They shared a smile, then both looked to me. Trixie nodded at me. "So what is the plan?"

Author's Note

Is there a plan? How would you handle the situation?

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66 - Can I Have a Minuette of Your Time?

There was stone holding me gently from all sides. I couldn't remember if I had fallen asleep at the office or had staggered home to rest. It had been an intense day doing what I do for a profession. I had been digging through laws and making things happen while triple checking what we could do and had to do.

I gave a shake and broke free of the stone. I wasn't back at the castle at all. That might explain why I hadn't heard a bell go off.

"True?" came a female voice before Minuette trotted into the room. "Ah, that was you. Welcome back!"

I smiled at her. I liked her upbeat attitude. "Glad to be back. Anything change while I was gone? Do the princesses know where I am?"

She gave a firm nod. "I trotted myself up there myself and let them know I was taking care of you. But let's forget that." She waved it away and her horn glowed as a chalkboard rolled into the room on a stand. "I have exciting news! I did some brain teasing with Twilight, you know her right? Me and her go way back and she was already working on your problem, so we slapped our noggins together." She tossed her head as if pretending to knock it against something. "Bonk, just like that, and we got to thinking."

I was stretching. I was refreshed as if it were morning, as I tended to feel when I arrived in Equestria. "And what did you come up with?"

She reached out and tapped me on the noggin just below my horn. "Everypony needs to sleep. You're not an exception. That's where your missing time is."

I blinked at that. "Sleep?"

"Exactly as I said." She nodded with confidence. "We're 80% sure you get your sleep before you come to Equestria fully. The times where you haven't gotten enough sleep, you appear fatigued on this side. There was even a time you didn't finish the transition, because you were too tired." She sat down on her haunches and raised her head, a pointer slapping some figures on the board. "So we're pretty sure. You go to sleep as a human. The link between Earth and here gets stronger, but your mind gets cozy between worlds, catching some major Zs. Once you're all renewed, then you come on down through that tube and pop, here you are."

That made some sense, but... "What about the time differences? Why do I seem to come at different points of the day?"

"We are talking about different universes." She flashed a grin. "A little time sliding is the least you should expect. So! Now time for personal questions." She leaned in, grinning. "You're a mare where you come from, right?"

"Yes," I answered uneasily. "Why?" I wasn't sure I was happy with the way she was asking that.

"So, what's it like?"

"What's what like?"

She shook her head. "Being a pony. Being a stallion. You weren't either, so you're in the unique position to actually say what being either is like. If you ask me, what can I say. 'I'm me, it's what I always was." She wrinkled her snout. "Not very interesting, but this isn't 'you'. This is still new and exciting and you know the differences, so out with it!"

I wasn't sure at first how to approach that. Minuette's innocent optimism disarmed me a little from thinking she was being malicious, just curious. "Being a pony is certainly different," I confessed. "Being on all fours, walking differently. When I think about it is when I feel the most alien." I took a slow step. "The muscles that make a horse move are not the same that let a human walk around. The more I concentrate on it, the more I can feel these strange muscles working to let me move. Every step is a strange thing. I constantly want to use hands I don't have to hold things that I can't, outside of magic."

Oh lord. "That brings us to magic. What I wouldn't give to be able to snatch something across the room as a human, but there I have hands, which work pretty well, I'll tell you that. Now if I had both, that would be the ideal situation."

Minuette rolled a hoof. "Sounds to me like having one or the other is reason enough to not bother with the other." She hopped up to her hooves. "And being a stallion?"

"That's a bit private." I didn't feel confident speaking to what felt like an adorably energetic child about anything related to... that.

"Aw, come on. I won't laugh, promise." She put a hoof to her chest. "We're friends. You can trust me."

"What do you know about stallions?"

She burst into titters. "They're ponies, just like mares. They tend to like rough and tumble things, but that's not a rule. There are mares that like rough and tumble and stallions that like emotional or pretty things, and they're not wrong for doing so." She waggled her brows at me. "The only core difference is that stallions are outies and mares are innies. Oh! And mares have a shot at being princesses. A reallllllly tiny chance, but hey, a chance."

Right... I gave a slow nod. "So you know where baby ponies come from?"

Minuette just flopped over laughing, kicking out her legs. "I'm a college graduate, silly face. Of course I know how that works. You really are a card." She rolled over onto her belly. "Do I really look that young to you? Hay, I've had a coltfriend or two before... It never lasted that long. I wear poor stallions out, but it's fun while it lasts." She flashed that perfect-white smile. "Are you offering?"

Oh dear. A blush erupted in my cheeks against my will. The horse parts of me said that Minuette was a fine mare. Well-shaped, fit, and healthy. On a purely physical level, my body agreed with the idea being put forward. On a more mental level, I wasn't so fast to leap for it. "N-no, I mean, not that there's a thing wrong with you, Minuette. I don't think there's room in my life for any romance right now."

Minuette's smile broke, becoming a concerned pout. "That sounds serious. What's wrong? See, I have my serious face." She waved a hoof in front of her snout, somehow managing an even more grave expression. "Tell me what's going on."

She was silly, but also sincere, I decided. I sat up and I told her. "Some ponies have fallen into my world. My government has rounded up all they've found and put them in a special little place, like a prison-town. It's not a bad place. No one there looks like they're being abused, but they are captives. The pegasi have their wings bound. I didn't see any unicorns, and part of me wonders if they're having fits with how to keep a unicorn properly held. They, the humans, are scared of the ponies and what they can do and represent."

Minuette shook her head slowly. "You're a human, and Celestia didn't throw you anywhere special. I mean, look, you're here with me. You've wandered the city, and Ponyville. Why are humans so scared?"

I gave a sad smile at that. "Ponies wear their fear on the outside. They see something scary, they run from it. If they learn it's not scary, then the matter is dropped. Like Zecora."

"I know her." Minuette bobbed her head. "She's a special kind of pony, a zebra. I always meant to visit her land someday..."

"Right, humans are different. Our fear lives inside of us. We see something that scares us, we might not run away. We may instead act to make sure the scary thing can't hurt us. Chasing it away, locking it up, attacking it. We don't like letting scary things be. It's... complicated." I sat back a little. "Honestly, the ponies are being treated quite well, all things considered. We've done worse to fellow humans in the name of 'national security.' It's my job to make sure their jail town is built quickly, well, and without breaking any of our rules."

"You're a construction pony?!" She perked up with surprise. "I never would have guessed, and a mare construction pony... well, I did just say there's nothing wrong wi--"

I waved a hoof quickly. "No no! I'm a lawyer."

"Oh!" She let out a breath. "Alright, that makes a little more sense. But why's a lawyer making buildings?"

"I won't be building it, physically." I rolled a hoof as I thought over it. "I have to make sure it's done properly. Think of me in more of a management position."

"That works." She nodded. "It sounds, to me, like you're doing your best to make everything work. You care about those ponies, right?"

"I do," I said easily. "This may sound odd, but ponies are... cute. I see them and I want to protect them instinctively. I don't want a single one of them hurt."

Minuette flashed that bright smile. "Am I cute?"

Oh god... "Yes?" That got more giggles from her. "You have a cute personality too."

"You'll be surprised to know I get that from more ponies than just you. But I have a question." She waited for a nod from me before continuing, "Where are the humans? If there aren't any, that means something right there. More likely, there has to be a few, so where are they?" She trotted off towards the kitchen. "The way I see it, and I'm no political mare, but the human country has all the cards. They have the ponies. If Equestria had some humans, that would change the game."

That was something to investigate. I moved for a window at an idle walk. "I'll ask about that, but let's put that aside. Did you find anything to help my personal situation?"

"Oh, yes!" She came trotting back in, two cups of coffee floating with her. "It's so simple you're going to love it! All you have to do is get more sleep, either home or here. Have you ever actually gone to sleep here?"

I tilted my head at her as I willed the cup over. The glow on the cup become a combination of ours before she let go and allowed it to come to me. "I hadn't, no. I was never here long enough to feel tired."

"Do it anyway." She bobbed her head and sipped from her cup. "Mmm, did you want any sugar or cream?"

"Black is alright." I sipped from the coffee and found it... was not what I expected. It tasted like slow-brewed coffee, sweet and without any acidic hints. "Did you make this yourself?"

"Of course." She sat beside me. "It takes time, but that's one thing I'm good at. I almost feel sorry for ponies that have to plan this out a day or two in advance." She sipped from her cup. "Mmm, just the way it's meant to be. Oh right! You! Sleeping." She bobbed her head. "Go to sleep earlier, and try to get a nap while you're here, and your time will be closer to even."

Author's Note

Minuette delivers some information, ideas, and company. She's a good pony!

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67 - Balance

While getting a nap was a fine enough idea, I had other things to do. I set the cup of coffee down gently. "Thank you, Minuette, but I think I should get to work."

"Going to look for the humans?" She turned for the door. "I'll come with. I'm curious what happened to them myself."

I hesitated a moment, but thought it through. She was a friend of Princess Twilight, so she wasn't a nobody. She had powerful time magic, though I hadn't seen the full measure of it. If she wanted to help, why argue it? So far, she had been dependable enough, and nice to have around. "Alright. I was going to go to the castle first and ask about it, see if we can't dig up any leads."

She ambled along beside me as we headed out towards the castle. Was she another 'interest' for my newfound stallion interests? No. No she was not. She was cute, but I was quite occupied with life at the moment to be worrying about 'that' kind of thing. I could worry about boyfriends and girlfriends after my life stopped being a political drama. If that was ever going to happen.

At the castle, the guards waved us past, and we found the princess of the night was the one in attendance. Luna seemed happy to see us. "Good that you're back," she started with a smile. "Any news?"

"Good to see you too." I gestured to Minuette with a hoof. "This is Minuette. She's helping."

"Charmed." Heads were dipped at one another politely.

"Now, about humans." I sat down on my haunches. "Myself not included, the odds of my being so very special that I'm the only one seems unlikely."

Minuette bobbed her head. "I wasn't going to say anything. I mean, if you wanted to be special, who am I to pop that bubble?" She giggled softly. "So, hear anything about it, Luna?"

Luna raised a hoof a few inches before it came back down lightly. "I haven't heard of humans, not specifically, but there are always rumors and reports of strange beasts. It can be difficult to sort through them." She inclined her head at me. "I mean no disrespect, but what would a human be to a pony?"

I didn't fight the smirk that came free. "A strange beast, much the same that the human world fears when they see ponies. Can we narrow down the reports at least?"

Luna pointed before moving. "I will show you to the records, but I am afraid I have other work to do this evening. The night will not guard itself, I'm afraid."

Minuette beat us there, somehow. She was standing beside the door when we arrived, smiling brightly. "They wouldn't let me in." She jerked her head towards the stoic guards.

"As well they shouldn't." Luna nodded. "But now they may." Her eyes were on them. "They are permitted entry. Good luck in your research, and thank you, for your efforts for those ponies. I hope they are returned safely soon." She trotted away, presumably to 'guard the night', however one did that.

Minuette made a grand sweep towards the door. "After you, my prince." She giggled softly.

I decided to take her at face value. She was joking around. A dip of the head, and I went past the guards into the cluttered disaster. Scrolls, piles of parchments, and cubby holes for cubby holes greeted me as I looked around the intimidating mess. Where was a search engine when I really wanted one?

Minuette bounded in after me and peered around a moment before her specialty struck. "They're at least chronological."

That was good. I went to where Minuette pointed and saw things as recent as that day. Reports and sightings of all kinds of things. Some of them had names. Chimeras, hydras... a beholder? It seemed a lot of monsters lived in this world alongside the adorable little ponies. How on earth did they survive? It did make sense that they would go big or go home, with densely populated cities where one was relatively safe from being chomped on. But... Ponyville wasn't a dense city, and it seemed to do fine.

I shook my head free of the distracting puzzle. I had a task! "Look for things with two legs, that's an easy start."

"Roger wilco," chimed Minuette, ever cheerful, and we both got to work digging through the papers.

Unicorn magic made it easier to sift through the dense mess. I didn't want to imagine doing it with hooves or mouth.

"Here!" Minuette thrust a glowing scroll in front of me. "Suspicious, I think."

I took it from her magic into my own and unfurled it to give it a look. It came from a town called 'Hollow Shades'. "Where is that?"

Minuette shrugged. "I haven't been there myself, but I hear the bat ponies are from there."

Bat ponies? Terrifying, or adorable. Considering the world I was in, I decided cute was more likely. Hopefully, if there was a human involved, they agreed. Dated just a few days prior, a foal reported seeing some 'strange slender creature with two legs'. It had fled when she spotted it. It could be a human, or a thousand other things... "Keep looking."

And there it was. Far more damning. There apparently was a section for it, which amused me. Apparently ponies falling in love with strange creatures was a thing that happened often enough to make space for it. Marriage announcements. Within I found the tale of an earth pony stallion that had found love in the form of an exotic creature. 'She has two legs, two arms, and ten clever fingers that know how to make me melt. She is mostly naked of fur except on top of her head, and where her limbs meet her torso. She is helpful, intelligent, and we love each other,' it described. A human female, a woman, had gotten married to a stallion.

I set the scroll aside. "That's one confirmation."

"And I think I have another." Minuette thrust a small bundle of parchment towards me in her magic, but the papers pulled back as soon as they went forward. "Uh oh. Hey, do you mind if you take a nap?"

"What? But we have work to do."

"You'll thank me later."

I was asleep.

I was asleep as a stallion. I dreamed of galloping across grassy fields. I met other ponies. It was happy, and simple, and fragmented as dreams tend to be. Then I suddenly ran right into a human. It started me awake.

My eyes snapped open to find I was still in the document room. Minuette was picking her way through diligently. A small pile was arrayed beside her. She perked an ear at me. "Have a nice nap?"

"Did you magic me asleep?" I stood up, still shaking the sleep from my eyes.

"I did, please don't be mad." She pointed at my hooves. "You were starting to slip, and now you're still here. See, it worked! Also! Look!" She hefted up the stacks with her hooves. "I have plenty of material for you."

There was a problem with that... "How can I know how much time went by in my, uh, original world?"

"I suppose you can't." She tilted her head one way and then the other. "Oh, right! Twilight said you tend to snap awake whenever something bothers you over there. Since that didn't happen, no alarms must have gone off or friends come knocking, so we're alright?"

Did that mean I actually spent some time resting after visiting normally? It had to. "Huh, if that's true, it means there won't be any warning. I'll just flash-freeze when it's time to wake up."

Minuette nodded. "Less warning, but more time to enjoy yourself. A fair trade, right? Just don't do anything risky." She laid a hoof on the stacks of scrolls she had dug up. "Reading is pretty safe. It looks like it's been going on for a while. You're not the first, or the last."

Alright, so I wasn't all that special, but... "That means ponies have been falling onto Earth for a while, likely just as long." How had it been kept a secret? What were other countries doing with ponies that appeared among them? "How many?"

"Not a lot." She shrugged. "I count maybe a dozens spread out. Of course, these are just the ones I found."

Which meant a lot more likely came, some not even to the country of ponies. "Just another strange monster..." I shook my head. "I think I'm happy being a horse in horse land."

"Aw, don't be like that." Her horn glowed as the marriage announcement floated into view. "It looks like some of them found happiness."

That was reassuring in a way. "Some of them probably want to go home. Some of them are happy here. We need to find some of the former if we want a bargaining chip."

"Right." She spread her hooves and the pile split into two. "Which is why I was already doing that. These are the happy ones." She tapped one pile. "And these are unknown or specifically unhappy." She tapped the other. "And since you're going to be busy going home in too soon, I'll get on this. It'll be me and the girls on our own adventure! Twilight thinks she can corner all the excitement? Ha! I bet Lyra'll get a blast out of this."

That got me a little curious even as I eyed through the pile of unhappy potential-human guests. "Does Twilight go on a lot of adventures?"

"Just about everyone around her." She stuck out her tongue, blowing a brief raspberry. "Except me, but that changes! You've brought the adventure to me, and I'm going to make the best of it." She clopped her hooves with building excitement. "We're going to find some humans! I'd already be running off, but that would be kind of rude while you're still here and all." She suddenly grabbed one pile in her magic. "So whattaya want to do until you head back?"

On one hand, I kind of wanted to review those piles. On the other, I had just spent a whole day... reviewing digital papers as a human. Maybe I had reviewed enough for a moment. "If you do find a human, how do you plan to approach them?"

Minuette raised a hoof and waved it energetically. "I'll say hello, of course! I'll ask Lyra to bring some of her marefriend's candies with her. That'll break the ice in no time flat. Have you tried one of Bon Bon's bon bons? Mmm, to die for!"

She would handle it like a pony, and I saw little wrong with that. "Before you rush in to shake hooves, be sure they're alright with you coming closer. They may be scared and alone, and that is when any creature, human or not, can be dangerous. Make sure they know you mean no harm, and only come close when they give the alright and no sooner. Let them decide how close you ever get, and if they decide against it, respect that. Come back another day, offer, but never force. You can leave the candy behind as a gift."

Minuette tilted her head. "That sounds like trying to make friends with a wild animal."

I felt my mouth tugging a bit in one direction. "We're all wild animals, especially when we're lost and scared. You know you mean no harm, but they don't, so don't assume they'll react well if you just spring up on them. Assume they're as timid as the most timid rabbit ever, but with teeth like a bear."

"Timid, fierce, right." Minuette slowly nodded. "I'll be extra careful and make sure any human I meet knows I'm here to help."

"That goes for your friends, too."

"Oh, right!" Minuette giggled. "That would be silly, going in all quiet and suddenly Lyra charges in, fwoosh! I'll be sure to tell them."

Author's Note

Task Force Human Hunters is ready to engage. A step in the right direction, or a typo ready to unfold before us?

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68 - Assemble

On some level, it had felt like I was in Equestria 'too' long. Not that I was complaining. If I still woke up when the alarm went off, this was exactly what I asked for. I followed after Minuette as she hurriedly grabbed for things and threw them into a set of saddlebags. She popped an explorer's cap onto her head, giggling all the while.

"Have you met any of them? Now's a good time for it! Lyra's even in town right now, what luck!" She clopped her forehooves together then made for the front door.

I was carried along on the wave of Minuette's excitement. I almost mean literally. We got across town in what felt like no time at all and she was knocking on a door. "Lemon!" she called out. "I've got a surprise for you!"

A curtain opened up on the second floor, allowing a yellow unicorn to peek out down at us. She started in surprise, and the curtain fell back into place. Minuette was bobbing her head. "I told her it was a surprise."

The door swung open with a glow. "Minny! You have a coltfriend?!"

Minuette gave quite the snort that broke out into renewed laughter. "No! Silly. Lemon, this is True Shot. He's given us an adventure for the good of all Equestria!"

Lemon glanced between the two of us. "What kind of adventure are we talking?" She pointed at me. "Is it safe for foals?"

Minuette lost it. She fell to the ground, a ball of giggles.

I took a step forward. "I won't be going with you, if that helps. You'll be finding and helping an alien species that is lost and scattered through Equestria."

Lemon's eyes went wide. From behind her, a mint-green pony emerged, Lyra. "What's going on out here? Did you tell a really good one when I wasn't around to hear it?" She was looking at Minuette's prone form. Her eyes darted up to me. "Oh, hey True! Nice to seeya again. What brings you up to Canterlot?"

"I could ask the same," I countered. "Nice to see you too."

Lemon Heart looked surprised. "Oh, you both know him? Now I feel like the only one left out. Did you hear? He wants to give us an adventure."

Lyra snorted. "I don't swing that way." She fluttered her lashes at me. "I'm kidding, what's up?"

Minuette fought her way to her hooves, "We get to be human hunters!"

Lyra blinked softly. "Like the things Twilight talked about?"

"Exactly!"

Lemon tilted her head. "She wasn't just making it up? Aren't they supposed to be on the other side of that mirror thing she was talking about?"

Lyra rolled a hoof. "Obviously not, or we couldn't hunt them. Are we capturing them?"

Minuette waved her hooves wildly. "No! We're... ambassadors, sorta. We need to find them, gently, make sure they're alright, and bring them someplace safe."

The three mares were amazing to me. They clearly had a bond and were hashing out the details quite nicely without me being involved. I almost felt like I didn't need to be there, but watching them gab excitedly was entertaining on its own level. "You mentioned other friends?"

Lyra pointed off into the city. "Do you mean Twinkleshine and Moondancer? Twinkie may be at work right now, but Moondancer isn't too hard to find."

Lemon snapped to attention. "Then it's time to gather them up."

Minuette copied the stance. "Taskforce Human Hunters, trot out!"

With a shared war cry, the mares went marching down the street. Almost as an afterthought, the door to Lemon's place slapped shut with a glow of magic.

I was left behind. I could have chased after them, but they were ready to set off. I would have been a third... fifth wheel. I let them start on their grand adventure, just hoping it wouldn't go sour in any way they couldn't handle.

Instead, I returned to the castle. I had some breakfast, though not with either of the princesses. I did ask about that, but the guards were not forthcoming with where either was, specifically, except to note that Luna had retired already.

In the end, it was just as well. I faded from Equestria, gazing out across it from a window. It was a pretty place, but so was home. I had to be true to both.

Author's Note

Short chapter? Booo! I have Jury Duty today, alas. I will work hard to ensure there is no typo of justice on my watch, so I have to cut short my ongoing story about a lawyer... irony overwhelming!

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69 - We Can Build It

Life became busy, mostly with things I could easily mistake for mundane. I escorted our two guests to work, and we got right to work overseeing how to get things done. The preliminary legal work was the most comfortable for me, and boring for the ladies. As for township, the requirements were a bit vague and I went chasing after the specifics and making phone calls to get those wheels turning. It seemed I could get a town declared without too much difficulty, but then it would need a charter to be anything more than a formality as part of the county.

Population also mattered, and I doubted we could count the ponies just yet, seeing as they were being hidden.

It was a side project, one I chased while going over the requirements of the project, namely building ordinances that were specific to the county. Until and unless we did set up an official charter for the new town, we were beholden to all county regulations, and I didn't plan for that to be where we went afoul.

California, as a state, was far more strict about what could be built where and how compared to back home. The county had a few other rules to add to the pile, and I was gathering them all together into a list of requirements for the task ahead of us. If I couldn't mount some ill-advised but well-meaning rescue of all the ponies, I would at least make sure the houses they lived in met or exceeded all regulations.

"Look what Trixie made." My work suddenly came to a rough halt as something was thrust in front of me. It was the tablet I had picked up for Trixie to enjoy. It had writing on it. Not any normal writing. I recognized it swiftly. It was a spell.

"How did you... get a spell on the tablet?"

"She what?" Starlight looked up from where she had been busying herself.

Trixie looked mightily pleased with herself. "Once she learned how to draw on it directly, it was no trouble at all. Sure, she had to make use of some of the more advanced tools this device had to draw it correctly, but it is done!" She put down the tablet in front of me. "Go ahead, review it and tell Trixie how well she did."

It... looked like a spell to me. I was trying to get in the right mental space to 'see' it properly when the tablet was yanked away by Starlight. "Trixie! What spell even is this?" She turned it around to have a look at it, then let out a groan. "Really, this one?"

"What's wrong with that one?" Trixie folded her round arms. "It's one she remembered so, she wrote it down."

Starlight put the tablet back down on my desk. "That's very nice and all, but what good is it? Hay, we can't even cast spells right now, and even if we could, we both know that spell." She threw out a hand wide. "What are you thinking?"

While they were arguing, I gravitated back to my work. It seemed ultimately harmless, and there was plenty to get done.

"Maybe you cannot cast spells, but that does not mean anypony else can't."

"What do you--You didn't."

I glanced up to Starlight giving Trixie a nasty glare. "She didn't what?"

Trixie turned away. "Trixie did nothing wrong. Why are you even looking at her like that?"

Starlight reached and snatched the pointed cap from Trixie's head, or tried. It lifted a few inches before it began to glow and set itself down firmly. "You did! You get rid of that this very instant!"

Trixie wheeled back around, dancing away awkwardly. "You can ask Trixie to be naked, but you cannot ask her to be without magic without forcing her. She has been very good. Not a single spell that has gotten us into trouble." She extended a hand palm-side up. "Has she not? She has been good. Do you not trust Trixie?"

The pieces came together rapidly. "So... you have a horn."

Starlight let out a grunt of frustration. "Yes, she does. No wonder that guard's wand went crazy around your head. Trixie... Becoming a chimera is very advanced and tricky. You could have hurt yourself, or worse."

"But she did not," reported Trixie with a self-pleased smile. "She did it and it works. Are you not proud of Trixie?"

Starlight's sour face turned a little into a smile. "Yes I am, but that doesn't excuse you. If someone or something knocked your hat free, you'd cause an instant panic."

Trixie raised a finger. "How little faith you have in Trixie. Very well, behold." She took off her cap and revealed her blue horn poking free of her hair as if it belonged there. There was a plastic strap running down either side of her head. "See? Trixie can claim the horn was fake, and she has these too." She brushed her hair to reveal fake pony ears. "She noticed humans like ponies, at least the cartoon ones. The disguises were not hard to find."

Wait... "Did you take my money?" I couldn't imagine anywhere else she'd get any.

"No!" She defended hotly.

Starlight was not impressed. "Kevin's then?"

"Maybe..." She waved the argument aside. "That is beside the point. Trixie has taken all precautions, has she not?"

I was amused on some level, curious on another. "First, put your hat back on, and keep it on. I don't want to test that disguise of yours. Second, so you can actually cast spells?"

"Of course." Trixie glanced around the room before settling on my cup of pens. She snatched one. "Teacup!" And lo, a teacup was born. She set it down lightly. "See?"

That only raised more questions. "Humans aren't... built for magic."

"Says you." Trixie stuck out her tongue lightly. "They have most of the parts. So close, so far. Close enough for Trixie to make use of."

Starlight threw her hands wide. "Trixie, I am so annoyed, but... impressed." Trixie looked entirely too pleased at the praise. "How did... you not kill yourself doing this?"

Trixie's face soured into a pout before recovering. "She consulted the great oracle, the 'Google'. It had many answers to Trixie's questions. She did her work and this is her reward." She leaned towards Starlight. "And now that she can write spells down, maybe if you ask her nicely, Trixie will share how to be a unicorn-human?"

Starlight glanced up at her head, as best she could see herself. "I don't usually sport a big pointed hat the hide it in even if I thought that was a good idea, which I'm far from convinced about."

Curiosity was strong. "So, Trixie." She looked towards me appraisingly. "Does the size of the horn equate to power?"

"That would be... interesting, but that is the opposite of how it works. Being strong in magic can encourage the horn to grow larger, but having a larger horn does not inherently enhance one's abilities." She flashed a smile. "Trixie did not fall asleep during all of Twilight's lessons."

Starlight huffed out a sigh as she crashed back into her seat. "You have the most selective hearing I've ever encountered. Linda, why are you asking about horn sizes?"

I leaned forward a little. "If they can be minimized, preferably beneath the hair line, even just a bump if possible, then the risk of causing a panic diminishes. No one is going to call someone out over a lump on their head."

Trixie's nose wrinkled. "If her horn was just a bump, that is a bit too far. Magic would become very difficult, even for Trixie."

"But possible?" I asked.

Trixie's teeth clenched a little before she let out a sigh. "Yes, it would be possible. Like using this--" She grabbed the tablet from my desk. "--with hooves. Awkward and slow, but not impossible.

What if I could use the spells I learned in Equestria right there on Earth? That... would be really cool, but... Another thought crept up. "They're watching for that."

Starlight perked up at that. "Who's watching for what?"

I gestured in a vague circle. "They, the people we're working for. They know what pony magic 'looks' like and can detect it. If we start using it, they will notice, and likely not be very happy with us, since they are not yet sure what it can and can't do and how hazardous it might be to humans."

Starlight rolled a hand. "Well, that's easy to test. We can use some magic around some humans and after nothing happens to them, we're done."

"Yeah.... That wouldn't cut it. Any medical test would need to be exhaustive and, more importantly, extended. We're talking years, starting with animal tests before they even let us consider putting an actual human to the test."

And then it hit me, right where my horn would be. "And I just found the unicorns." Both looked at me with confusion. "They're testing them, right now. I could be wrong, this is a baseless guess, but it would make sense. They're conducting tests on how native life, starting at the bottom and working up, reacts to Equestrian magic. You two." I pointed two fingers from the same hand at either of them. "Are an exception, likely only because you're involved from another angle and... relatively secure. I'm going to go on a limb and guess the other unicorns don't know how to pretend to be humans."

Trixie folded her plump arms. "So they're afraid of her magic?" She smiled suddenly. "It is right to be a little timid around something so Great and Powerful, but there is a limit. Trixie's magic is to amaze and excite, not harm others."

Starlight reached out and took her friend by the arm. "I know that, and you know that, and Linda knows that, but do they? They're playing it safe. I mean, I can't entirely blame them, but I really would like to know those unicorns are alright."

Trixie looked to me. "So ask them. We would like to visit and meet the unicorns. It isn't right that they are kept away from the other ponies, even if the unicorns of Canterlot seem to enjoy it that way." She rolled her eyes. "What harm is there in requesting?"

"First issue, that is likely classified information." I put my hands on my desk. "They let us see the town and the ponies there because we had to know that to make the town properly. The number, location, and state of the unicorns is not a 'need' to know."

Starlight released her friend and turned to me at the desk. Her hands rest on it across from mine and she leaned in at me. "Unless you requested assurance of their safety as a representative of Equestria."

Author's Note

Why is everyone pressuring Linda to assume that mantle? She's a lawyer, not a diplomat! Did someone typo on her resume?

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70 - Family Ties

They were bad influences, my sister and overweight cousin. I meant Starlight and Trixie, of course. It was still something to think about once in a while, remembering that they had used my appearance as the template for their own. Regardless, they wanted to know what was happening with the unicorns, and they wouldn’t let up the pressure on me to find out. It didn’t help that, ultimately, they weren’t wrong. I was about the only person who could both ask and relay that answer onwards.

If Kevin put out the question, he might be told, but would then be expected to keep it a secret. I wouldn’t even dream of trying to twist his arm about it. Getting him into severe legal trouble was not on my itinerary. Especially under the then current administration, I doubted any known ‘leakers’ would fare well.

I reached for my phone to make a call about it when it started to ring. I hated when that happened, made me jump every time. The caller ID on the phone said it had nothing to do with the government. It was my mother. “Hello?”

“Linda!” came an excited voice. “I heard through the grape-vine things are calming down at your office. Can you make it?”

“To...?” I had forgotten about it completely.

“To? Your cousin’s anniversary party, of course.”

“Who is that?” asked Trixie.

“Who’s that?” echoed my mother. “Did you really run away and find a girl? I don’t care, bring them along.”

Ugh... “I’m not sure who told you things were calming down...”

“Don’t you worry about it even a little bit. Just come over and say hello to the family, and bring your girlfriend with you.”

Even if I wanted to do that... I was pacing thinking about it, hand clutching the phone too tightly. I couldn’t leave Starlight or Trixie behind in good conscience. “I’d have to come with at least two.”

“Two?” Her voice managed to drip with curiosity in just one syllable, a talent. “If they’re friends of yours, they’re already family, so bring them both if it means you’ll be there. Look, stop searching for reasons to say no. I don’t make demands very often, but be there, Linda. It’ll mean a lot. He’s not expecting you to break away from work for him. Prove him wrong and show you care.”

I wanted to scream, but adults did not scream because their family made requests that one be... familial. “I’ll ask if I can take some time off...”

“Fantastic!” She had won the argument and she knew it. She knew I would be coming. She knew it as surely as the sun would rise.

I hung up after a round of good-byes and slumped into the nearest chair.

Trixie hadn’t left. She followed after me, watching me quietly a moment before she waved at the phone that hung limply from one of my hands. “You have not told her who that was.”

Right. “That was my mother.” I sat up. “She was reminding me that I’m expected at a family function, and you’re invited.”

Trixie’s expression brightened to a smile. “Do you need entertainment? She can bedazzle your family with a little demonstration of her skills.”

Starlight’s head poked right out of the hallway into the back. “Who’s showing off what skills now?”

She had learned the keywords of her friend, good. “Starlight, this involves you too. I’m being dragged back home to a family party, and you two are invited along.”

Starlight rolled a hand. “Well, we’ll go with you, of course, but you aren’t using this as an excuse to not find out what’s happening with those unicorns, are you?”

“I was just about to do that...” I lifted the phone back up from its limp position. “But we aren’t going to drive this time.”

“If we aren’t taking a car, how are we traveling?”

Trixie waved out in the general direction of the car. “It is fairly fast. Are we going somewhere it can’t fit?”

“We’ll fly,” I cut to the chase. “On a plane.”

Trixie looked baffled, but Starlight was the one that spoke first, “You want us to fly with a straight line?”

I had walked right into that. I quickly pulled up an image of a passenger craft and flipped the phone around so they could see it. “We’ll be inside one of these. We’ll wait patiently for a few hours, then be where we want to be.”

Trixie put her hands on her hips. “Starlight said it took days to make your trip with the car, and it’s not slow. How fast are one of these ‘planes’?”

How to put that. “Well, about ten times faster, give or take?”

Starlight let out a low whistle. “If you had that as an option, why drive a car at all? Why not fly to work? Hay, why drive so far instead of flying when you were moving here?” She crossed her arms with sudden suspicion. “Is it safe?”

Trixie waved it off. “Don’t be a coward.”

Starlight simply raised a brow.

Trixie gave a nervous laugh. “She is trusting in Linda. If she thought it was a bad idea, we wouldn’t be going, right?”

That surprised me. Trixie had faith in me? That was... kind of nice actually. “It’s as safe as anything can be. I didn’t fly since Kevin offered to drive instead, so we drove together. Flying isn’t free, and he couldn’t just shrug it off on his budget.”

“My ears are burning.” Kevin emerged from his room. “What’s going on?”

Starlight waved towards me. “We’re going to a family function, apparently.”

My hands went up. “Hold on. I said I’d see if I could even get time off.”

Kevin rolled a hand upwards as he walked past. “You can. You basically never take vacations. Go ahead, I can keep things going.”

“I don’t plan to drop it cold.” I waved my phone at him. “That reminds me, I was about to make a call before this all came up. One way or the other, I’ll still be on the case. I can’t just put this down, family obligations or not.”

Trixie followed after Kevin, both heading into the kitchen. Starlight stayed with me. “Go ahead. I mean, it is about the unicorns, right?”

I rang up Director Swanson, deciding not to argue the fact that Starlight had predicted what the call would be about. She picked up on the second ring. “Good evening, Miss Frohein. Do you have news?”

“Yes, and a question.” I walked for the sake of walking, moving towards the television while ignoring what was on it. “I’ll be heading back home for a few days for a family event, but I’ll be available through telepresence and continuing the project.”

“I appreciate your work ethic. What was the question?”

“Unicorns. Namely--”

“We can’t discuss that over this line. I’ll visit. Before I do, I can tell you that you’re asking about something I am not authorized to speak on.”

“If I was a random citizen.” It was time to take a stand. “As a representative of the Equestrian government, it is well within my ‘need to know’ to at least get confirmation that--”

“I’ll visit and we can discuss that more securely. Have a good evening.”

The phone made a little beep as the call disconnected.

Starlight was staring at me. “Well? It didn’t sound like you got to say very much, though I do approve of the direction you were going.” She wriggled a few fingers as she sat on the couch. “Don’t tell me, she didn’t say much.”

“That obvious?” I slipped the phone away and sat beside her. “She said she’d talk in person.”

“Anything to delay it.” Starlight leaned forward, arms on her knees, head on her hands. “But we won’t let her. This isn’t an idle fancy. Twilight would be very disappointed in me if I went and didn’t follow this through. I’m with you on this, a hundred percent.”

“What exactly is your relation.” I made a back and forth motion. “Between you and Twilight, that is. You seem to respect her quite a bit.”

Starlight got a wry smirk, her eyes rolling. “She’s a smart cookie, a little neurotic, but I think that comes with the package. Ultimately, she is my mentor, but I’m not her student, not strictly.”

“Strictly? I figured you were or you were not?”

“I graduated.” She smiled a little with the memory. “But that doesn’t make her suddenly not my mentor. She didn’t throw me out, and I wasn’t hurrying to leave. There’s a lot I still don’t... get, and I’m happy to take my time with someone I can trust.”

“But you’re not with her,” I pointed out. “She’s a world away.”

Starlight’s confident mien cracked. “I do miss her... but we can’t really do anything about... that. You’re a good person too, really, even if you’re not a pony full time, but look at me? Can I claim that?” She waved her fleshy fingers. “We’re home and here I am, still naked. Maybe I’m getting too used to this.” She slumped back in the couch. “Thank you, by the way. I know all this Equestria everything is not what you would have picked to do when this first started.”

Kevin returned, Trixie at his side, talking animatedly about some kind of magic trick she had in mind. He waved at us as he moved to the other couch. “This doesn’t look like your kind of movie.”

I glanced up at the television I had been ignoring. It was not my kind of movie. Some cheap slasher fic. How did it even get on? “I wasn’t watching it.”

Starlight fished out the remote from a breast pocket and had it off in a flash. “My bad.”

“As Trixie was saying, she will drop down from the ceiling on wires as the pyrotechnics flare to brilliant life! The crowd will be stunned as the music hits its climax, and only then can the real show begin!” Her hands were moving quite animatedly, as if trying to paint a picture of her proposed display. “Not a single person there will be able to hold in their gasps of amazement as she turns their world upside down!”

Kevin put one arm around Trixie and squeezed. “That sounds great. You can do all that without magic?”

Trixie wrinkled her nose. “Not all magic needs... magic, and Trixie is trained in stage magic, possibly even more than unicorn magic. She will craft illusions of splendor without a single bit of it, this she promises.” She put a hand over her heart a moment. “So, what do you think?” She was looking at Starlight and me pointedly.

I had one immediate question. “Who are you trying to perform for?”

“Why your family, of course.” Her smile was radiant. “This reminds. You need to tell her what the occasion is exactly so she can tailor the event for it. They will be dazzled by this Great and Powerful performance!”

Starlight caught my glance. “Go with it. Telling her not to will just make it awkward.” A hand rolled. “Go on, tell her what it’s about.”

“It’s an anniversary,” I confessed. That was when I realized I didn’t remember what number exactly. I would want to know that. A text to mother should clear that up.

“Which one?” asked Trixie predictably. “there are so many traditions depending on which number it is. Trixie will not be embarrassed by using the wrong theme.”

Kevin nudged her pudgy side with an elbow. “I doubt human traditions are exactly the same as pony ones.”

“So you would think, but Trixie bets it is not that different.” She leaned back, arms folded under her chest. “Just tell her which number it is and she will consult the Great Oracle to be sure. Have no fear, Trixie does not foul up presentations.”

Starlight’s shoulders lifted. “If there is anything that Trixie does take seriously, magic shows rates pretty high. Just remember that there’s to be no actual magic in it.”

“Not a drop,” agreed Trixie, almost vibrating with eagerness to perform.

Author's Note

Hey, remember that family event soooo long ago? It’s back.

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72 - Spread Your Wings

We woke early the day of the trip. I had figured promoting them to fall asleep on the plane would be better than them fidgeting the entire time, even if that was a classic way for parents to handle children. Ponies were children, sort of. They had that naive innocence and that was what made them adorable, in part.

"Why are we moving--" Trixie's words were interrupted by a thunderous yawn. "--so early?"

"Since it was last minute, my options were limited." A half truth there. "Besides, leaving early means we arrive during the day instead of late at night." That much was true.

Starlight was a pony and working her mane with a brush. "Trixie, did you pack everything last night?"

"Almost..." She was a human and was still tossing things into her bag. "She thought we'd have more time!"

I glanced to my two pieces of luggage to check and my purse. I was as ready as I ever would be. "Trixie, how do you have so many things?" I moved to join her and hopefully help.

She shrugged helpfully. "Kevin likes shopping with Trixie, and she sees nothing wrong with it, so we--"

Starlight cut her off with sudden laughter. "Oh, please tell me you're either using him for everything he has or that you're serious." Trixie's confused blink was enough for her. She collapsed in fits of laughter. "You really don't know..."

Trixie put a hand on Starlight's fuzzy head and pulled her friend's face up to look at her. "Tell Trixie what you mean."

Starlight sat up on her haunches. "Right right. Kevin, very obviously might I mind, likes you."

"Who doesn't like Trixie? There's so much there to like." She looked so smugly confident.

Starlight's eyes rolled. "More than that. Trixie, Kevin wants to be your coltfriend."

"I--Oh..." She had been surprised enough to use a word she rarely did elsewise. "But... if he wanted that, he should have said so."

Starlight let out a loud snort. "Welcome to being alive. Ponies, or humans, don't always say exactly what they mean."

That was charmingly mature for a pony. "She's not wrong," I added. "Kevin does seem to have an interest in you." As strange as that felt, knowing Kevin had wanted me not that long before... but that was already pushed off the table, by me no less. I... couldn't hold it against him, and I was not angry about it at all.

Okay that was maybe a little lie I kept repeating to myself. I had no right to be upset. If Kevin and Trixie worked out, great for both of them. "Do you like him?"

Trixie frowned in thought as she pulled the zipper closed on her luggage. "She hadn't thought about it that way... Besides, she is a pony, and will go home one day. Unless he will come, then how will that even work?"

Starlight rolled a hoof. "If you invite him, he will come. I don't have a shred of doubt. If we had put up the portal earlier, he would have already tried Equestria out by now."

Trixie's tongue peeked free. "Then Trixie will consider, but she was not looking for a coltfriend. She already has a marefriend and that's enough friend for her."

The implications... I glanced between Trixie and Starlight as we all brought our things to the front. "So, are you two...?"

Starlight shrugged even as she trotted towards the bathroom. "Friends? Yes." She vanished out of sight and a bright flash of magic emerged as she ditched her hooves and tail in favor of spindly fingers and subtlety. "But you're asking more than that."

That was the thing about Starlight, she lacked just a bit of that innocence that most ponies had. Still, I wanted to know. "Right. So are you two romantically involved?"

Trixie went a sudden beet red. "What?!"

Starlight looked much more amused than scandalized. "We are very close friends, but we're not 'that'. Not that I say no if she's feeling lonely and wants a hug."

Trixie stammered and looked away, struck speechless, which was a new condition for her so far as I knew it.

Starlight went up behind her and hugged her gently. "There's nothing embarrassing there. We are friends, not 'friend friends'. We understand how the other feels and we're happy to help the other, but we're not... What's the word for it..."

She wasn't thinking of Trixie sexually, that was all I needed to know. "And that goes both ways?"

Trixie gave an inarticulate squeak. It was all I was going to get out of her until she recovered.

"For what it's worth," spoke Starlight into her stunned ear. "I won't stop you from getting a coltfriend."

Trixie fled, dashing back into her room with a cloud of smoke to cover her face of flustered horror.

That seemed like a fine time to order up a taxi. A few taps on the phone was enough to get one coming towards us. It seemed the bay area had more people driving for such services, and one would grab us up in just a few minutes.

Starlight leaned back against the rear of the couch. "She'll get over it, but at least now she knows the score and can at least choose to act responsibly. Whether she will or not is her choice."

Trixie emerged, her composure returned. "How soon do we depart?"

Starlight gestured at me. "A few minutes. Let's take our things out."

That was a good idea, and I joined in rolling all our various suitcases outside into the darkness of morning. The air was crisp and the neighborhood was relatively quiet. It was easy to forget, for just a moment, that we were in the middle of dense city life. The car rolled up. I remembered when taxis had distinctive colors, or even logos, but no, this was just someone's car who agreed to drive for the company, so it looked like anyone else's car.

The driver was a smiling dark-skinned gentleman that helped load up all our things. He had us to the airport with no fuss, and helped unload us when we got there, which was good. Both Trixie and Starlight were busy gawking at the sights to be had even at the entrance terminal. There were more people there than they usually saw, piling into the airport. There was noise, especially that of planes coming and going. I made sure to give the driver a healthy tip on that app. I did not miss the days of carrying cash.

We each took hold of our own luggage and got to rolling inside. I led them to the check-in for our carrier and we soon had a ticket for each of our suitcases as they were taken from us and sent away on a conveyor belt.

"Have a nice flight," wished the attendant that had helped us. "Enjoy America!" She had seen that neither Starlight or Trixie were American citizens. Their passports made that clear, but it also made it clear they were permitted to be there.

Starlight adjusted the purse at her side. "We're liking it so far. Have a nice day." We all waved as we proceeded towards the security check. Starlight hadn't needed a purse, nor Trixie, until now. They wanted their tablets, and the chargers to go with them, so there we were, three women, three purses. Perfectly standard, there, if one discounted the bright colors of the hair of my companions.

Trixie saw there was a line that was much longer than the one we were entering. "What is that one for?"

"We have priority security," I explained.

And it seemed to click right away. "Of course, as if they would make Trixie wait any longer than she had to."

Starlight was rubbernecking around, looking at everything. "There seem to be a lot of guards."

They called for the next in line, which was us, but they wanted one at a time. Still... I took Trixie by the arm and nudged her forward. "My apologies, she's still new at this."

The security guard, thankfully, looked more bored than annoyed at the two of us being there at once. He held out a hand expectantly. "Boarding pass and ID, please."

Trixie looked confused, which worked nicely. "He means your passport."

"Oh! He should have said so." She produced her passport with a flourish as I got out her boarding pass.

He scanned the pass and looked over the passport. "Refugee, huh? Hope things get better."

Trixie looked all the more confused, but nodded. "Trixie is here, things can only improve."

"Good attitude." He gave the passport and pass back. "And yours?" He was looking at me. He took mine when I offered them and passed them back without fuss and I waved Starlight up.

"She's with us," I explained. "Give him your passport."

Starlight fished out her passport and surrendered it. He glanced between Starlight and I. He didn't say a thing, but I wagered he thought we were related. That didn't clash with the unspoken story we had woven, and he let us pass towards the body scans. That's when I realized something... "Trixie?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me you don't have a horn right now," I hissed in a whisper.

She blinked softly. "If you wish her to say that."

Ugh... "Make it go away."

Trixie crossed her plump arms under her chest. "Why?"

Starlight casually stepped on her friend's foot. "Do it. Look." She pointed to where people were standing in the scanner and it ran over them. "Now."

That was good observational skill on Starlight's behalf. I made a note to myself to thank her later even as Trixie grumbled and got rid of the thing that would have caused us no end of trouble.

They had us remove our shoes, priority or not, something my companions shared their grumbles about.

"They want her to take them off just to put them back on again? She doesn't get it." Trixie dropped her lost shoes in a small bin and put it on the rollers before advancing into the scanning chamber, or tried. The guard there put a hand across.

"Could you take off your hat? It won't fit."

Trixie huffed as she wrenched it off. There was no horn to display, but there were two fake ears. He held out a hand. "What?"

"It has to go through there." He hiked a thumb back at where her shoes had gone. "You'll get it back afterwards."

Trixie submitted, but not quietly. "She does not understand this at all. You should be happy that Trixie is even here." She stepped up into the chamber.

"Hands up," ordered another man on the other end. "And stand still."

The chamber did its sweep and she was allowed to step free. Predictably, it found a few potential issues and the pat down began as they pulled things free of her. Lots of things... I had already arrived, smoothly, on the other end as a pile of things began to form.

"Ma'am, you are aware none of this is allowed on a flight." He nudged the pile. "There's no way I can just pretend this didn't happen." And out came a pad. "You're getting a fine."

Trixie's eyes went wide. "A fine?! For carrying her work tools?"

"Work tools? What even is half of this?" He peered at the collection. "Is that an explosive?"

"A smoke bomb," she corrected and I gave a little laugh, trying to interrupt.

"I'm really sorry. This is her first flight. She's not trying to cause trouble. Let me have that fine and we'll take care of it. Sorry for the holdup."

Starlight had a hand to her face. "Take it all, she doesn't need it."

"Doesn't need it?! How is Trixie going to put on her show without her tools?!"

I put a hand on her shoulder as she heaved. "We can get new tools when we get there, but none of that can be on the plane, least of all in our pockets."

"Ma'am," spoke the guard. "This is a criminal offense." My heart chilled. "You will be contacted." He ripped off a slip of paper and handed it to her.

Starlight could apparently see my reaction and let out a long sigh. "Good job, Tricks, you're a criminal."

"But she did nothing wrong!" She protested even as we got her moving forward. They were at least letting us proceed. That was, itself, a miracle. They had every right to bust Trixie right then and there and cancel our trip. I was confused at that and did some quick research.

"Turns out," I explained as we hiked towards the gate of our plane. "They can't actually finalize a thing until the case is reviewed, so we're free until then, since all we're potentially guilty of is TSA violation. Even the fine isn't final until then, so, let's put this behind us for now and try to enjoy our trip."

Author's Note

A Great and Awkward start to the trip, I dare say. They almost avoided trouble there, getting her to ditch the horn, but Trixie is Trixie. As if she'd go somewhere without smoke bombs.

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73 - West to East

Fortunately, once we were past security, it was smooth sailing to reach the gate of our plane. Others were waiting about patiently. Some were getting things to eat, or shopping for various little trinkets. Trixie surprised me by asking first, "May she take a look?" She was pointing at one of the shops. "Since she is here, she wants to see what they are selling."

I pulled out my phone to glance at the clock. "We have time. Starlight, want to stay here or come with us?"

Starlight moved to join. "Shop or sit, easy choice. They sure have a lot of things on this side they said you couldn't bring on the other side."

Sharp. "This is considered a 'sterile' area. Everything here has been double checked for safety."

Starlight's shoulders lifted. "Do people cause trouble that often?"

I kept an eye on Trixie as she sifted through the collection of little toys and things that proudly proclaimed that one had visited California. "No, it's actually very rare, but when it does happen, it's a big deal, and so here we are."

"Trixie likes this one." She held up a bear that was sitting on its haunches. It was wearing a shirt with a golden C on it. "She did not know you had talking bears. Did you not say only humans?"

"I think that's a mascot." I reached and turned it around to see the tag. Yep, college mascot is what it read. "We don't have talking bears, but we do like pretending."

"If you had more things than one, you might have to learn to accept more." She moved towards the cash register with her desired purchase.

I let her go, turning instead to Starlight. She seemed to be browsing a magazine. "Your friend," I said to her as I came closer to see what she was reading. "She can be insightful once in a while."

"Mm? Trixie? Only when she's not trying, more often than not." Starlight gave a bit of a smirk. "Still love her. Is she buying something." She was looking over as Trixie was doing just that, exchanging dollars for the bear. "A gift from Kevin, do you think?"

That was the only answer I could think of... "It's not mine. I've become plastic in my spending habits." I knew I had no dollars on me, just cards. "Do you think... she's going to try things out with Kevin?"

Starlight flipped her hair with a toss of her head. "I think Trixie honestly had no idea Kevin was trying to woo her. So far as I know, she never had a romantic partner, which is in Kevin's favor. Trixie gets curious at times, so... Yeah, I won't be too shocked if things are tried."

Trixie returned to us with a bouncing step. "Trixie has defeated the ursa." She gave the plush a squeeze. "Take that, home wrecker." She stuck out her tongue at it in defiance of some act I did not know of. "She feels better already."

Even as humans, ponies were adorable. It was part of their nature, it seemed, minus when they were busy getting themselves into legal trouble. "Starlight?" I looked to her. "Did you want to grab that?" I pointed at her magazine.

She lifted it into view, it was a computer magazine. "If you don't mind buying it. I'm curious to read more, even if this is denser than some of Twilight's favorites. They assume the reader already knows quite a bit, but a challenge while we're waiting sounds better than being bored."

I wasn't going to deny Starlight a magazine. "Of course I don't mind. Let's handle that and get back to the gate."

We purchased the magazine and got back to the boarding area. We were well on time. It wasn't long before they called those with priority, like us, to board. We were led up into the first class area of the plane. Before we got there, the girls stopped just outside the plane, getting a chance to see it up close.

"Is this your first time flying?" asked a steward with a smile.

"On a plane, yes," replied Starlight, confusing the poor steward.

Trixie stepped forward. "She is ready to be flown."

"Right this way." We were led to our seats, side by side.

That brought up a question. "Which of you wants the window seat?" I could go without, and I imagined they would want to look.

Trixie looked to Starlight, who shrugged softly. "Well, if nopony else is hurrying, Trixie will be magnanimous and take it." She slid across and settled in her seat. She wriggled a little as if getting comfortable. Starlight took the center and I had the aisle. The seats were comfortable.

Long before any safety speeches began, I went over getting their seat belts on. "It's just like in the car."

Starlight gave a little snort. "If the plane crashes, I doubt these little things will be much help." She clicked it into position despite her words.

Trixie was taking advantage of her window seat to peer about the airport from the vantage offered. "The planes come and go like bees..."

I pulled out a tablet of my own and logged into the plane wifi. One VPN connection later and I was securely connected to work. I got to checking mail. There was a piece from Swanson.

Good Morning,

I have been informed you are taking the two persons of interest out of state today. Thank you for informing me of that beforehand. Please keep a short leash on both of them. I hope you all have a pleasant, but unremarkable, trip. Included is a list of names and identifying marks of the unicorns. The deceased has been marked as such.

Identifying marks?

Starlight had been quietly reading over my shoulder and apparently saw the question on my face. "Probably their cutie mark. Let's see them."

I scrolled to the bottom of the mail and saw there was a pdf awaiting a peek. I opened it and up came six pictures. They looked like cutie marks. They were not photos. No fur was visible, just black and white outlines of what the marks should be. Under each was a name. I glanced around and saw, in the first class area we were in, there was some amount of space between our group of seats and the others. "I want Twilight to see this."

Starlight nodded in agreement. "Let's just be careful she doesn't get too excited."

Actually... "I have an idea about that." I pulled up a chat window, then fished out the interdimensional doorbell and gave it a push.

"Hello," came Twilight's voice before her head popped up from the bottom of the monitor. "Nice to see you, Linda, Starlight."

"Trixie is here too."

"Oh, I didn't see you. Hello too, Trixie."

I moved the chat window over Twilight, so she could be taken as a chat partner. "We have a list of names and cutie marks of the unicorns here, six, one deceased."

Twilight winced at that. "Oh... Well... let me see them."

I directed her towards the still open file and she turned to the side to look them over. A quill and parchment appeared beside her, scribbling the information down rapidly. "I'll get this to Celestia." It was only then that she noticed the seats behind us and things beyond that. "Where are you three?"

Starlight leaned in a little, a cocky smile on her face. "We're about to experience a wonder of human technology. Did you know they can fly faster than a pegasus?"

Twilight blinked with wide eyes. "I... did not know that..." She brought up two hooves to clop. "Take notes."

"We should go," I cut in. "They're about to do the safety drill."

Twilight waved as she faded from view.

The safety speech was nothing new. Trixie began to peer up at where the masks would come down, in theory, but they didn't come no matter how hard she stared.

The plane lurched into movement, taxing along the ground towards the takeoff strip. Trixie stopped looking up and practically plastered her face on the window. The bear in her hands got fresh squeezings as she giggled with a noise that sounded both excited and a little nervous. Starlight, on the other hand, seemed much calmer about it. She was reading that magazine I had got for her.

With the two of them handled for the moment, I turned my attention back to my screen. I hammered out a quick thank you to Swanson, then a new tablet slipped into my view. It was Starlight's. "Please."

Oh. I took it and got it online through the airplane, then passed it back to her. "Does Trixie want hers set up too?"

"Mmm?" Trixie turned on her name being mentioned. "Does she want what?"

Starlight was more direct about it, snatching Trixie's purse and pulling the tablet free. "Linda's going to fix your tablet."

"She didn't know it was broken." Trixie looked confused, but didn't fight Starlight handing the tablet over to me. I had it online quickly and passed it back. "Thank you, she guesses." She looked back out the window. "This plane is... safe, yes?"

The plane choose that moment to start accelerating. We were pressed back into our seats as the engines roared with the power of modern technology. Starlight gave a little giggle. "I see," she said under her breath. I wondered what she saw, but was distracted by Trixie's less seasoned response.

The plush was getting squeezed tighter and tighter by the moment. "It's safe, yes?" she repeated, eyes wide. She wasn't looking out of the window anymore. She was looking directly ahead and breathing quickly.

It didn't take too much to realize she was scared. "It's alright." I reached across Starlight to take Trixie's hand, just to have mine taken instead. Trixie grabbed and squeezed firmly. She was trembling. "Everything will be alright," I spoke as gently as I could. "People fly countless times a day without a problem."

"People," hissed Trixie. "They are not Trixie. Trixie... is..." She squeezed harder. "She is fine! Really..." She was clearly not fine. "She has faced worse than this..."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Like shooting yourself into the mouth of a hungry manticore?"

Trixie let out a choked laugh. "He was a friend, and... Trixie had you."

Starlight's hand joined ours, fingers wrapping about the both firmly. "You still have me."

Trixie's tension ebbed a little, only to come back as the plane left the ground behind and began ascending rapidly through the air. "She... still has you..." Her eyes closed. "She can do this... She can do this..."

Starlight gave both our hands a squeeze. "Of course she can. What would the Great and Powerful Trixie be, being intimidated by a metal bird. Hmmph. You've dealt with so much worse than this. This is just another chance to show how amazing you are."

"Y-yes, amazing." Trixie smiled a little. "She is that... amazing ponies don't... get scared." It was obvious she was still scared, but she was fighting it. They say bravery is not the absence of fear, but acting despite it. If that was true, Trixie was being very brave. "Thank you, both of you."

The plane started to even out, and with it, Trixie's breathing. She calmed bit by bit. Though she still held our hands, she dared to pry open an eye. She peeked out of the window and let out a loud gasp. "Wow..." The hand came free as she turned to look. "Everything looks so small..."

Starlight leaned back towards me. "Don't tell her, but I've already tried flying really high before. This isn't new to me."

I gave her a thumbs up with my reclaimed hand and settled back in my seat. It wasn't long before attendants came by with offers of drinks and snacks.

One of them smiled at Trixie. "Miss, is this your first flight?"

Trixie glanced around. "Why, did she do it wrong?"

Author's Note

The flight begins! No drama in this stage of things besides a short-lived moment of panic, reasonably handled I think.

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74 - First Home

"You did just fine," assured the flight attendant. "I apologize, but I couldn't help but notice. I think you deserve a little something special."

Trixie's eyes lit up. "She will not decline generous tokens towards her amazingness."

Fortunately, the attendant seemed to think that Trixie was being funny and gave a soft laugh as she produced a small flight pin with a dramatic flourish. "For performing so well on your first flight, your wings." She held it out towards Trixie as if the little trinket were valuable.

Trixie was enthralled, taking the act at face value. "Trixie is proud to accept." Her hands came in to gently cup the hard-earned pin. "She will care for it."

The attendant was soon on her way to service the rest of the plane, but the joy she had brought didn't fade with her passing. Trixie was practically bouncing in her seat. "Starlight, did you see? Look what she has earned?" She held it up practically in Starlight's face. "Even they see how worthy Trixie is of greatness."

"Yeah, practically princess already," replied Starlight in a dry tone.

Trixie was oblivious. "Oh, she wouldn't go quite that far. If she were a princess, then when would she be able to tour the world, giving mind-shattering performances to adoring crowds?" She ran her fingers across the small wings, clearly in love with them. "Still, it is nice to see others think she could be."

Peace was ours. With Trixie not only calm but happy, Starlight and I could work and play in peace. I had nothing better to do, so I continued my work, chasing legal rabbits back to their den and digging them out if I had to. It seemed everything was coming together for the pony village to proceed without anything getting in the way. It helped that their ambitions for the size of the town was small. Still, it was a town. You don't get to make towns without paperwork.

I was brought out of that work with the soft sound of another attendant. Oh, it was the same one. Once she saw she had my attention, she smiled. "What can I get for you today?" She was holding a plastic card with three meal options. They all looked fairly acceptable to me, so I let the other girls take a pick.

Starlight reached across me to point at the pasta offering. "I'll take this, thanks."

Trixie nodded. "She will have the same. She doubts Starlight would have poor taste."

Starlight smiled at the kind words. "Aw, thanks."

Well, we were two for three. "Let's make it one for all of us then."

Soon we all had a plate of pasta, but it wasn't a one-course meal. At least if someone wanted to pay for the top tickets, you got something out of it. Some bread with butter, a dessert, drink, and a small dish of vegetables went with it. We were all contently nibbling for a moment before Trixie sat up.

"She doesn't understand. Is the food a bit... bland to anyone else?"

I raised a finger. "That one I can answer. This high up, we lose our sense of smell and taste a bit, so everything is a little blander than it would be if we were on the ground."

Starlight let out a breath. "I wasn't going to say anything... I mean, it looks tasty, but then you eat it and the horrible truth comes through." She let out a little laugh and resumed her meal. "I'm gonna have to try nibbling while flying when I get back and see if it works the same."

"Do they fly that high?" I asked. "We are very high up. This entire plane looks like a tiny toy with how high it is."

Starlight glanced towards the window. "We aren't that high, are we?"

Trixie waved at the window she sat beside. "See for yourself. We are... unfortunately high." She nibbled at her food. "It is not bad. Trixie was just surprised before, but it is acceptable." She must have liked it well enough, as she continued to chip away at it and didn't look sour.

Starlight, on the other hand, wanted a peek. She leaned over her friend a little to get a better look out at the sky. "Oh wow..." With wide eyes she beheld the earth so very far below. "This is higher than we normally go..."

Trixie glanced towards the window, but her attention was more solidly on the feast she was intent on devouring. "Is it? Trixie has not flown before."

Starlight flopped back into her seat. "By a lot."

Uh oh. I put a hand on her shoulder. "We're safe."

"Y-yeah..." She picked up her drink and took a swig. "Yeah, I know..."

She might have 'known' but her feelings were still feelings. I then had a thought. "Wait, you weren't... I mean you don't have wings."

Trixie almost coughed up her food in the grip of the sudden bit of laughter. "Starlight is too amazing to let that stop her. She is almost as amazing as Trixie, almost."

Starlight's eyes gave a roll. "Mag--" She cut off and cleared her throat. "We can talk about that later." Her attention slid back to her food and she distracted herself with it. "Thank you, Linda. I know you didn't have to bring us, but I'm glad you did."

"Indeed, Trixie is also happy to have a chance to show off her skills." She clasped her hands together. "Her first showing here. The world will never be the same."

I hoped that change would be entirely good. The rest of the flight went by smoothly, at least until hour four and change. While I was trying to stay busy and productive, I saw the girls were getting restless. Even their tablets were losing their lustre. Trixie was leaning against Starlight, talking to her about little nothings, and Starlight looked terrifically bored. Perhaps her boredom is what kept her from lashing out at Trixie. Talking was better than silence.

An idea came. "Give me your tablets." I held out a hand. They both looked wary of giving up their precious toys, even if they weren't doing much with them, but they timidly surrendered them. A few finger swipes later, and I had a game for them. "Here, a game you two can play with each other."

Starlight blinked at the idea. "Wait, there are games that work that way? How?" She accepted her tablet back and peered at the start screen for Minecraft. With some coaching, I had them both in a shared world of blocks.

Trixie stuck out her tongue. "This one's paintings are not nearly as detailed as the others." She shook her head slowly. "She does not... Oh! Starlight! There you are." She could see another person with Starlight's name.

Starlight spun around until she saw 'Trixie' and smiled. "And there you are. So what's the goal of this game?"

"Whatever you want. Most people try to build impressive things, but you could hunt monsters, mine, whatever tickles your fancy." I tried to get back to my own work, but watching the two explore the game was distracting.

Trixie let out a loud giggle. "She punched a tree in half, but it's still floating. That's very silly."

Starlight found the jump button and bounced around wildly. They were getting a lot of nothing done, together, and they seemed pleased with life in general.

This changed when virtual night came over their land. The skeletons chased after a squeaking Trixie. Starlight tried to fight them bravely, then experienced her first death. They learned the night was no friend of theirs.

They didn't give up though. By the time the plane began its descent, the two had managed to construct a home for themselves. It had nice glass windows and stairs and a picket fence. They were safe inside their well-lit home when the sun sank.

"Trays up please," instructed the attendant, forcing all three of us to pout as we put away our various electronic devices and prepared for landing.

They both flinched when the plane touched the ground, jolting as the brakes began to decelerate the great vehicle. We had made it. We were whole and well and despite some odd looks when Trixie made an outburst, we hadn't driven the plane insane, so victory all around.

Trixie had affixed the pin on her clothing, wearing it proudly as she disembarked the plane, with us behind her. This did not stay for long, as she had no idea which way to go and I took the lead to get us pointed towards the baggage claim. We soon had our luggage in our hands. With a summons through my phone, we had a driver ready to deliver us away from the airport and towards our ultimate destination.

Now, if you thought that was my old house, you would be incorrect. It was basically abandoned, pending a family member moving in. We went to my parent's place. They had a sizable two-story house that reminded me that I had been born into privilege a little. It wasn't a rich person's house, no. It was a middle class dwelling, but that middle class made going to college not only affordable but expected, so I went, and became a lawyer, and you know most of the rest.

Before we could even wheel our bags to the front door, it opened and admitted a smiling female woman in her seventies into the sunlight. She beamed at me. "Linnie!" She rushed to me and we met in a big hug. No matter how much she annoyed me at times, I loved my mother. Cheeks were kissed, and she turned her attention to my companions, expression going from delighted to appraising. "So these are the mysterious voices I hear seducing my Linnie."

Starlight went a bright red, but Trixie did not. She laughed instead. "If Trixie was seducing Linda, than she would already have a new lover."

It was mother's turn to color. "Oh my. I suppose I started that." Her eyes darted between the two. "Wait, are you two?"

"Yes."

"No." Both replies came instantly. Trixie and Starlight glanced at once another before Starlight cleared her throat. "I am Trixie's friend, nothing more."

"She is Trixie's best friend." Trixie nodded her head, only for her hat to be caught in mother's fingers. "Hey!"

Yoink, off went the hat. Fortunately, Trixie had not regrown her horn. "You don't need that inside, dear. Now you are Trixie?"

"I'm Starlight," offered Star with a thumb hiked at herself. "Nice to meet you, miss..."

"Call me Sally," said Mom. "Any friend of my girl's a friend of mine." She dared go in for a hug, and Starlight accepted gracefully. "You three will be staying upstairs, let me show you."

She turned and strode with purpose inside.

Trixie gave a soft snort into a balled fist. "Your mother is very friendly, Linda."

I waved off the half-compliment. "She's sweet as a kitten, until she wants something from you."

Starlight gestured at Trixie. "Like your hat."

That was when Trixie realized Mom had fled with her hat in hand. "Ooo, sneaky... Trixie will require that back. A magician's hat is an important part of their act." She got to moving towards the house.

The inside was a blast of nostalgia delivered first to my nose. The house had 'that smell'. You know the one, I hope. That one that didn't change from when I was a kid. It brought memories of my childhood long ago. "Linda," came the deeper tone of my father. He looked happy to see me, and I returned the favor. We embraced. "Where have you been? It's far too long since your last visit. I swear, you get a doctorate and you're too important for your family."

I was ready to debate that when he saw the two ladies coming in behind me. "And who do we have here?"

Author's Note

Meet Linda's family! They're happy to see you too.

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75 - Meet the Family

Starlight took the initiative, spreading her hand with fingers pointed at herself. "I am Starlight Glimmer and this is Trixie Lulamoon."

A sudden high-pitched giggle came from the right. A glance revealed it to be one of my nephews. The rest of my family was more... fruitful... than I had been. Tod, I recalled his name to be. He came rushing forward towards the new guests. "Are you furries?"

I could see Starlight and Trixie were both a bit baffled by the question, and took quick action before interesting answers resulted, "no, but they do love the show."

"Still counts," Tod retorted. "S'ok, I like it too. Nice cosplay!"

Father shooed Tod away. "That's not how you greet a guest. Sorry about that. I'm Harold, nice to meet you both." He put out a hand towards them.

Trixie placed her hand in his. "Trixie looks forward to amazing you."

Dad looked so very confused, and I wasn't too far behind him. Was Trixie waiting for a kiss on her hand or what? That was no shaking stance. Fortunately, Starlight gently nudged her out of the way and came up to give a real shake. "Trixie marches to her own drumbeat. Speaking of that, she really wants to put on a performance at the party."

"What sorta show?" Father asked, uncertain about the third person speaking odd-behaving lady that he had just met.

Trixie's hands went wide. "The greatest you've ever seen! She will amaze and delight with acts of astounding magic." She looked in her element then, speaking of her show. "Trixie never leaves an audience wanting, and what better way to mark the day as a special one."

I rested a hand on Father's shoulder. "She's been looking forward to it for a while. It should be a good show, and harmless, and free."

"Well, if it's free..." My father had a frugal bone or three. Appeals to saving money usually worked well. "Welcome to castle Frohein. If you need anything, just let us know."

Mother's head peeked in from the stairs. "Are you coming?"

Ah, right. "This way." I got the girls moving, hauling our luggage up the stairs after my mother and following her into what was once my room, turned into a guest room it seemed. It was done up nicely, but it only had one bed, a twin at that. There was a futon mattress on the floor, likely dropped for this particular emergency. Still... "Well, looks like you two have to decide who gets which."

Trixie moved for the bed and sat on it as if she belonged there.

Starlight tapped a foot on the ground. "I seem to recall someone promised a favor after being rescued from an explosive green thing that was chasing her."

Trixie cringed. "You wouldn't..."

Starlight raised a brow silently.

"Very well..." Trixie rose from the bed. "To her savior." She gestured at it. "But this makes us even."

Mother was baffled into a snort. "Dare I ask what 'green thing' we're talking about?"

I shook my head as I answered, "I got the two of them into Minecraft on the flight over. It was a bonding experience."

"Never did quite get that game," she admitted as she turned away from the two back for the door. "Dinner will be on in about half. I'll give a shout."

Her absence was apparently all that Tod was waiting for, since he slipped in so fast he almost crashed into her. "Hey! So what are your real names?"

Starlight smiled at Tod, eyeing the clearly young boy. "I thought we already said that."

He shook his head violently. "No way. That's just your 'costume name', c'mon! What's your real name?"

Trixie flopped back on the mattress, getting a feel for it. "Trixie is Trixie, that is what she always has been."

Tod swung towards me. "Tell your friends to playing pretend," he hotly protested, throwing his hands down.

Starlight lifted her shoulders. "It's not our fault or problem if you don't believe us."

Out came his phone. Why did someone that young need a phone? I felt old even asking it. Everyone got a phone. It was practically included with your social security card, it seemed. I saw nothing good coming from it and made a grab for it, but he was younger and faster and danced away easily. Flash! He took a picture of a suddenly starting Starlight. I managed to yank it away before he could get Trixie. "Tod! That's just rude." I tucked the phone into a pocket. "You can live without this for a while."

He made a few angry sounds, but I tuned him out and he fled from the room, likely to appeal to some other adult.

Starlight stood up from the bed. "That was a picture, right?"

Reminded, I fished out the phone and casually deleted the picture. One problem nipped at the bud. "Yes, it was."

Trixie's pudgy hand waved from where she was laying down. "He has seen the show and is amazed at how similar we look."

Starlight nodded. "I'd put money on that bet. I assume we are... keeping it up while we're here?"

I could see the waggle of her brows in suggestion and it clicked quick enough. "Yes. I hope that isn't too big of a deal?"

"I'll cope." Starlight waved it off. "Go ahead and give the kid his phone back. Not like pictures of us really mean anything anyway. People dress like this, I've seen it."

Trixie suddenly sat up. "She has seen it as well. People of all sizes, even male or female! She did not know she had such an adoring fanbase on another world, but she thinks she is alright with the idea. If dressing like Trixie makes them feel better, than they are welcome to try, but there is only one true Trixie, and she will outshine the rest."

I smiled at that as I headed out of the room. I found Tod talking to his father, trying to get a sympathetic ear from the man that seemed not entirely convinced. He saw me though. "Linda! It's been a while. You have Tod's phone?"

"Here you are." I surrendered it to him. "He was taking pictures of my friends without asking. Nice to see you too." I gave him a half hug that was returned. "How are things?"

"They're working me good," he said with a laugh. "But I got time off for this, so I'm trying to enjoy it. Tod, no more of that. We don't take pictures without asking."

"Yes, Dad..." He accepted his phone back and took off with the energy of youth.

"Did they promote you to manager yet?" I asked.

"Oh, uh." He looked quite cagey suddenly, and I had a good feeling that did not happen.

"Don't worry about it."

"Easy for you to say." He sighed out, slouching a little. "You're a big lawyer. Compared to you..."

"Don't do that." I put a hand on his shoulder. "You're you, not me, and that's alright." I squeezed lightly. "You have a great family, something I don't have."

He laughed a little. "You could get one if you wanted."

I gave him a shove at that. "Why do married people always think that? Romance is a lot trickier from this side of the field. It just looks simple once you're in. Anyway, I mean it. You're doing fine."

"Thanks, Linda." He glanced towards the stairs. "So, hey, people are talking about your guests. Are you, uh, related? I mean... it's legal now... so...?"

Oh god. "No! No... Besides, both of them?"

He shrugged. "Who am I to judge? Are they related related? I swear they look a bit like you."

"You weren't even there?"

"Sure I was." He gestured to the living room where a big television was playing a movie. "I was in there, saw the lot of you come in. I figured I'd give you a moment to park your luggage before I ambushed you."

"Thank you for that." I considered a moment. "So, ready for the anniversary?"

He gave a nervous laugh at that. "Ready or not, here it is. I can't believe we've been together so long..."

I hiked a thumb at where Tod had gone. "Living proof just ran off. How're his grades?" That was a thing adults asked about family's children, right?

"Oh, he's going alright," he answered tamely. "Mostly Bs. So, hey, California?"

"Yep."

"What's it like?"

I felt a smirk coming on, but did my best to suppress it. "Despite the rumors, there is not avacado in everything."

"Never really tried that," he admitted with a shrug. "Any good?"

"It's alright." It was small talk, possibly the smallest I've had in awhile. It was... comforting in a way. We were just two adults talking about nothing. The fate of people's lives did not rest in our back and forth. No jobs would be gained or lost in it. Neither us were secret aliens from another world. Just two cousins, chatting about nothing. "Some people there really do love it to pieces, but I don't think it's that good."

"Food's on!" came Mother's cry from the dining room, and that is when the great migration began. People poured in from all corners of the house. Some of them I hadn't seen in so long I couldn't immediately remember when the last time was. Polite talk came from older and younger members of the family as we filled up the table with hungry souls. There were about five young ones, enough for a 'kid's table' just for them.

Trixie and Starlight were scattered around the table, neither sitting by one another, or me. Trixie was beside the cousin I was just speaking with. "So you are the groom, are you not? Trixie will make your special day extra fantastic with her amazing feats!"

I couldn't pick out his reply among the excited chatter that was going on, only for it to suddenly cut off. Mother was on her feet, calling for order. "Now, this is the first time the whole family's been together in too long. I'd like to thank Linda for coming across the country to join us." Polite clapping sounded as people nodded and made little noises of approval. "Of course, if she hadn't gone chasing that hollywood dream, this wouldn't be needed." Laughter rippled across the table. "She brought two friends with her." Mom gestured to Trixie and Starlight. "They'll be joining us. Trixie here is even promising a performance during the party. Dear, do you mind if I ask what sort of show it will be?"

Trixie spread her hands as best she could while wedged between people. "It will be a performance of magic and amazement! She will bend your perceptions and challenge your knowledge of reality itself!"

"Oh, a magic show, how nice." Mom nodded, seeming satisfied with the description. "Enough of that, you're all starving, so let's get to eating." A cheer of agreement rose up as people said their thank yous and complimented the chef on her work.

The food was good, and the conversation was nice, at least until my uncle pointed a fork at me. "So what made you run all the way over there, anyway? Some big time fancy business?"

Well, actually... "That's not a bad description. My company was given a contract to build an entire town." That much wasn't a secret. "It's a huge project."

Soft noises of amazement came as a result. Uncle wasn't entirely convinced. "What, are you building it yourself?"

"No, but I did have to see it personally." Also not a secret. "It's a fascinating project, and one I mean to see through."

Uncle's wife nudged him. "Don't pester her. She's doing it for work and she takes pride in what she does. You should be try to be half the worker." She gave a big smile at me. "You just keep at it. It sounds like they really value you. Did I hear right, that they gave you an entire house for moving out there? I might be tempted with an offer like that."

Agreement seemed to be in the majority as people talked about wishing they were paid in houses for their work. The meal continued.

Author's Note

Family time! It's all so... amazingly mundane. Not a bad mundane, I hope.

Written for my fans on atreon and you could have your own story done too!

76 - By the Sun

I awoke in the snug confines of stone. I had collapsed onto a soft place not too long after dinner and was sent to Equestria. Such was my life. I didn't begrudge it. I heard a bell ring. Had I been returned to the castle?

With a firm shake, stone fractured and rained to the ground around me. I was in a small room. There was a table with a rolled and sealed scroll on it. "True Shot," was written on the side, making it clear who it was meant for. I willed the scroll over and unfurled it, breaking the red seal.

Good morning,

I am aware it may not be strictly morning when you awaken. Twilight shared the list of names and marks of the unicorns being kept in your world. Some of these were cases of some notoriety. This resolves what happened to them, but re-opens what should be done about it. Their friends and family are being informed of the fact that they are safe and whole. Of the death... we could at least confirm that they were gone. It was a small comfort, but I thank you for it. I would ask for their body's return, but that was some time ago. Provided it was taken care of in a fashion deemed proper by your people, we will let that lie.

The time for inaction has passed. While the earth-ponies and pegasi are being held in uncomfortable but reasonable conditions, the unicorns' true fate is uncomfortably unknown. This is not an acceptable situation for any of my little ponies. I understand that this puts a great deal of pressure on you. It is no small thing I ask, but it seems clear that to not ask is to fail my people. Can you extract these ponies, return them to Equestria? Working with Twilight, this should be possible.
You need only bring her to them, and she can handle the rest.

Depending on when you awaken, I will be out and about, tending to my ponies, or resting. Feel free to inquire of me to the guards.

Hoping,
Princess Celestia

I set the scroll down gently on the table it had come from as a heavy sigh rolled through me. Doing what she asked would mean becoming an instant criminal, facing punishment unlikely to be gentle. I would be vanished without trial, branded a terrorist and that would only be the start. It would all be illegal, if our country had been working properly, but that protection for the accused had weathered away over the years. Let us trade a little security for a little freedom. Soon we ended up with neither.

Besides that, was it the right thing to do? It was a gut reaction by a worried leader, and those could end up being... poorly thought out. I was sure Celestia meant the best, but meaning the best and doing the best were not always the same. I trotted for the door, willing it open as I reached it. The sounds of a busy castle reached my fuzzy ears as I peeked left and right.

A guard saw me, which was not hard, since he was standing at the very door I was peeking from. "Hello, sir Shot. A Minuette has been looking for you."

I brightened at that. That could be good news. "Oh, great. Where is she?"

"She said she would be at her residence, sir. Do you know where that is?"

"I do, thank you." I dipped my head then broke into a lively trot towards the exit of the castle. An update on her progress could change things quite a bit, and I wanted to hear it before considering Celestia's request further. I emerged into darkness. It was apparently night in Equestria. I considered if I should go to her house anyway. For that matter, why did the castle sound so lively if it was night? I turned to one of the sleepy-looking door guards. "Excuse me, why all the activity so late at night?"

The guard snapped to attention on being spoken to. "An emergency meeting has been called concerning the lost ponies, sir Shot."

My ears flipped against my head without my thinking about it. I was torn between rushing to that meeting, or seeing what Minuette had learned or found. If I just rushed in there, there was a good chance someone in there would react poorly to my sudden presence, especially at such a heated and emotional time. I was not a pony, not truly, not where it counted. I decided to let them govern themselves for the moment. "Please tell Celestia that I wish her well, saw her letter, and am checking on things."

The guard nodded and I resumed my trot. I carved a hasty path through the moonlit city, breaking into a full gallop as I went. There I was, enjoying a family occasion while Equestria was suffering. I felt guilty a moment before I slowed a little. Should I be? It was... complicated. Formally, I had no reason to think I owed them much, but... when was life, or emotions, formal? I liked them, even the scared or mean ones. I wanted well for the ponies. Heck, I didn't forget that I had harbored a cross-gender crush on their leader for a while... I wanted them happy. I didn't have to, but I wanted to.

I rapped on Minuette's door with a hoof. "Minuette? Are you there?"

A light came on upstairs. Had I woken her up? I heard things rattling around, some steps approaching. "Coming," came her sweet voice before the door swung open to reveal her mid-yawn. "Truey! There you are. You sure do like to hide at times. Look!" She stepped to the side and swept a hoof back at a small boy, a human boy. "His name's Akum. Say hello, Akum."

Akum was a young, maybe five or so year old asian child. He looked bleary like Minuette, and hid behind her a little, assuming she would protect him from the big stranger, that being me.

Did he speak English? Did... Did ponies speak English? "Hello Akum. Are we saying your name right?"

Akum blinked softly. "You are first to ask. My name is Ah Kum."

It was like Akum, but different, and I imagined that difference was important. I tried saying it correctly. "Nice to meet you, Ah Kum. I am True Shot. Are you alright?"

"I am well," he said shyly, still using Minuette as a shield. "May I go home?"

Minuette reached back and pulled the boy towards her front. "We're working on that, Ah Kum. True Shot here is the main pony in charge of making that happen."

A question came to me. "Ah Kum, do you know what country you are from?"

The boy shook his head a moment before something seemed to come to him. With a smile he reported, "Middle! Middle middle!"

He was Chinese. We had a human, but a Chinese boy was of limited bargaining value with the American government... but it... "There are ponies in other countries," I said out loud.

"Wha?" Minuette hugged the boy against her chest. "You're good with foals, he seems happy now. I'm sorry I woke you up, Ah Kum."

"You are nicest kirin I ever met." He returned her hug. "Miss my parents..."

Minuette gave a powerful pout. "Can we get him home? His folks must be worried sick."

Whereas mine were sleeping a few rooms away, unaware that I was visiting an alien world. "If we can... Is he the only human you found so far?"

Minuette shook her head. "The other girls are still searching. I decided to take Ah Kum somewhere safe and comfortable. Hauling a foal around while we hunted just seemed like an awful thing to do. Then I wanted to tell you about it, but you weren't awake at the moment."

"Probably a good idea." I gave Ah Kum a hopefully comforting smile. "We'll get you home as soon as we can, Ah Kum. Minuette will take care of you until then." At least language was not a barrier. "Minuette, is there anything else I can do to help?"

"Besides get him home?" She tilted her head. "Twilight knows all about crazy portals, maybe ask her?"

She did seem like a key piece in it all. "Shame I can't call her as easily while I'm here as I can while awake."

"You're awake in both places, remember? Speaking of that, don't forget to take a nap." She looked down at the child that had nodded back off in her grasp. "I should get him back to bed. Let me know if there's any news, alright?"

We exchanged waves, and she closed the door. Not long after, the light flicked off and her house was entirely dark. I assumed sleep had returned to them. I was left wondering what to do. I could have gone back to the castle to see if that meeting was still going on. A small part of me wanted a return of my first few days in Equestria, exploring it without much responsibility. Those days had already come and gone.

As an ad-- My thought was interrupted by a soft hiss coming from my left. I glanced towards the alleyway to pick out the shape of a pony snout barely peeking into the gloom of the darkness, not close enough to the streetlamps. "Hey, big, tall, and armed. C'mere."

The voice sounded female. "I have what you want."

I gave a whickering snort. "I doubt that."

"Doubt if you wish." The female took a step free, revealing her tall and slender form. "I've seen what you're hunting for, the hu-mans."

Oh, I wasn't being clumsily propositioned? That was... good. "Who are you?"

"Nopony important." She waved the question away. "Just the answer to your problems. You want the hu-mans, correct?"

I felt a setup coming. "At what price?"

She smiled. Her teeth were just a little sharper, more jagged than I would have assumed. "Straight to business, very well. I don't want much." She approached, each step slow and calculated. I wasn't certain of it, but I had a hunch she was trying to look appealing. My body quietly informed me she was succeeding, but it was a muted effect, with my mind and body still at odds. "Just a friend."

"Friends come in many varieties." I appraised the mare as best I could as she approached. "What sort are you looking for?"

"Oh, nothing too tawdry... Think of it more of a business venture. You have the right ears already bent towards you. I want to whisper a few things their way."

How was it I kept being pushed towards playing an intermediary? I had spent my life being the grease between cogs, but they were often unfeeling cogs, without faces. Rules that didn't care who you were, just how you did things. It felt different when every single step involved an actual thinking person and their opinions, emotions, and ambitions. Try as hard as I might, I would be a diplomat. "Who's ear are you trying to reach?"

"Let's not get mired in specifics just yet. Tonight, we're here about your problems, not mine... Mine can wait just a little while longer." She was nose to nose with me, looking me in the eyes intently. "I can locate half a dozen of the hu-mans for you at a moment's notice, if we have an agreement. All I ask is that you listen. That is hardly an... unreasonable request."

Six people? That sounded promising. She must have seen the hope on my face as her disarming smile returned. "I'm not lying. Just give the word and I'll have them brought where you and your friends can find them."

I wanted some space, and suddenly she was nudged back a few inches. I had pushed her on accident. "Oh, sorry," I quickly stammered out.

She arched a fine brow high. "A stallion with poor impulse control? How delightful... Consider it. I'll return later." She turned to leave without another word.

Author's Note

Who is this mystery mare? Don't we have enough actors on the stage, dang.

Written for my fans on atreon and you could have your own story done too!

77 - Nap and Wine

I returned to the castle. A room had been set aside for me, and it was there I went. Since I had started napping in Equestria, it seemed it had become part of my 'cycle'. It just felt right, and as much as I wanted to crash that emergency meeting, sleep felt like a thing I wanted more. I settled on the royal bed and nodded right off.

Did I mention I could dream in pony land? I did that time. I had a family of little ponies, and a wife. I never got a good look at them, and it didn't matter within the scope of the dream. It was enough that they all existed. One of my foals had gotten a bad grade or something and we had a family meeting to encourage them. I couldn't tell you what words were used exactly, but that's how dreams go sometimes, right?

It ended with hugs and kisses and promises to make it all better.

I was pretty certain I had other equine dreams, but that one was the one I remembered when I woke up. I looked around for a clock, but ponies did not keep them at hand at all times in all places. Time was different for them, it seemed.

Slipping back to my hooves, I got myself straightened out, then headed for the door. I noticed I didn't turn to stone if I napped in Equestria. That meant... something? I suppose it meant my mind didn't actually leave that fuzzy body when I took a nap like that.

Opening the door, a piece of paper dropped from it in front of me. It had Celestia's seal. I must have missed her, a fact that annoyed me.

I willed it up and open and got to reading.

Good Morning, True Shot

I heard you were awake last night and came to find you sleeping again. I didn't wish to disturb you, but I simply must know your thoughts. This matter cannot be allowed to fester any longer than it already has. My little ponies are looking to me to see it resolved, most wishing for a peaceful end, and some less so. We should not let irrational voices win in this matter. From what you have said and shared, any actual conflict could result in terrible losses for all sides involved.

Besides, that is not the pony way. That is not the way I wish to show as being remotely acceptable. If I am asleep when you stir, ask for Luna.

Best Wishes,
Princess Celestia

I set the letter aside and poked out into the hallway. There was a guard there, as there always was. "Hello."

"Sir," he replied with a faint nod.

"Which Princess is awake currently?"

"They are having breakfast together, sir."

What fortune! "Can you show me the way? Celestia said to see her immediately."

The guard got right to it, walking purposefully as I followed. A little question niggled at me. "Say, how do you all look so similar? Do ponies who look like that tend to join the guard, or?"

He looked over his shoulder. "I'm not allowed to answer that, sir."

A secret? That ill-fit in the image I had created for Celestia. I didn't pry though. I could ask Celestia if it was that important in the end.

We arrived in a dining hall. Both of the princesses were there, and both looked exhausted. The guard nodded to me and went back towards the room he had been guarding without word. I approached the table. "Good morning, both of you."

Celestia's face brightened as she saw me. "True, good to--" She paused to let out a great yawn. "Please, excuse us. Luna has finished her shift, and I had mine extended uncomfortably."

Luna nodded lightly. "I would normally be planning what cushions I will use to sleep, but with sister this tired, I am forcing myself to stay awake a little longer."

"I heard of the meeting." I slid into a wide-bottomed chair close to them. "Sorry I didn't attend. I wasn't sure if I would really help there, and I had something else to check on."

Celestia raised an ear at me. "Something else?"

Luna sat up. "I trust you will be sharing that with us?"

Sharing or not sharing information was one of the key factors of my life it seemed. "We found a human, a child. Before you ask, they're not from my country. My world, sure, but not my country."

Celestia's head canted faintly. "Does that matter?"

"The United States government's reaction is not going to be the same. They won't go out of their way to ensure the safety of another country's citizen, and China--"

"What?" they asked in unison.

"Another country." Seeing them nod in unison in response was amusing. "China is so large and... I have no real contact with them to even inform them of the situation... Ultimately, I would vote to just return the child as quickly as possible. He won't help get ponies back, but that brings up another fact... If he's here, there's no reason at all to think ponies can't end up where he's from, which means there are ponies scattered across the globe, which... means this is more complicated than I had thought."

Luna's nose wrinkled as she shook her head. "That cannot be."

"How not? It seems less likely that it isn't so."

Luna rolled a hoof at me. "And yet, your world is ignorant of our people's reality. If they were scattered across the world, this would seem vanishingly less likely." She plucked a wine glass that was filled with orange juice from the table with a glowing horn. "Look at this. If I poured from the top here, I could spread it far and wide without much effort." She turned to show the narrow end. "If it came from the other side, especially without the base, the same tunnel could drop a much smaller area. Would that not explain what we are seeing?"

Celestia's hooves came together in a light clopping applause. "Clever thinking, sister. Though, I imagine we are speaking of things entering, rather than leaving... Actually." She sat up taller. "You may be onto something... If this is the rough shape of this phenomena, it means that the humans will be dropped in a wider area, across the world..."

"Or at least perhaps larger than Equestria," I ventured. "That reminds me, how large is your world?"

Luna waved away the question. "That won't help us. Let's, for the moment, assume ponies are being dropped in a relatively restricted area, your country. It would help if we knew where that place was. I should think your contacts would know where that is."

Celestia reached suddenly, placing a hoof on my shoulder. "I must apologize... I must have sounded a little... forced last night. Please, I am aware you are not truly a citizen of mine, and even if you were, I am no dictator. You are within your rights to refuse me."

Kind words, but I felt something there. Celestia was being kind on purpose. She was the ruler. Her word was law. She could insist. She was just choosing not to. She was a dictator, just a gentle and benign one.

Luna's eyes rolled. "That is all very well, but let us focus on the matter at hoof. True Shot, you are our contact. What can be done? The unicorns must be verifiably safe and being treated well. Preferably, we would be given leave to evacuate our people. The fact that we aren't is annoying me increasingly. Why are we--"

Celestia put out a hoof in front of Luna. "It is more complex than you are envisioning, dear sister. We do not--"

"--I do not care," spoke Luna bluntly. "Let us address the matter directly and be done with it."

The two were exchanging tired and frazzled looks, so I changed the topic. "There was a mare that said she knew where several other humans were." That had them look towards me. "There was something... interesting about her. She said she wanted to be heard, and was willing to use me as a mouthpiece to get those words across, to you two, likely."

Celestia lowered her head to rest on a hoof. "Can you tell us anything about them?"

I described the mare, slender, tall, attractive, and with sharp teeth.

"Sharp teeth?" Luna frowned faintly. "That is a distinct marker. Did they have wings?"

They did not, and I said as much.

Celestia glanced at Luna and back to me. "Did she strike you as... manipulative?"

"Yes." I sat up a little. "I didn't feel threatened, but she obviously wanted something and was willing to use me. That much was quite clear."

Luna clopped a hoof down on the table. "Do you think?"

"I do." Celestia nodded. "I did not think she would be so... bold."

All the pronoun games were annoying to me. "And she is...?"

Celestia lifted a hoof. "No one you should be concerned about. If she wishes to be heard, that is a step in the right direction. I will hear her."

Luna licked over her snout. "I'm not sure I agree there. You should be concerned. Be careful with that one. If she is who we believe, she could be dangerous."

Right... "Can I have a name and some background? There are enough mysteries in my life."

Celestia and Luna shared a look before Celestia nodded. "We have no proof it is who we fear it is, which is why I would prefer to not say..."

"Chrysalis," spoke Luna bluntly. "Her hive was recently reformed, but she remains at large with a fair portion of her people."

"Hive? People?" There was so much I wasn't being told. Then it clicked. I saw that episode. That Chrysalis?! Wait... "Reformed?"

Celestia let out a sigh, low and long. "They struggle still with their new identity, but they are on a good path towards cooperation and growth. Chrysalis refused a hoof of friendship and swore revenge... I would not hold it against her if she put it aside."

Luna smirked a little. "I would laugh, in private."

That got a glare from Celestia. "They are shapeshifters. The mare you saw, if she is one of them, was not showing her true form."

I got to thinking of other mares that struck me the same way. There was one. "I think she tried to approach me once before, but Spike was there and it didn't go the way she was hoping."

Celestia smiled. "That she didn't get violent about it is hopeful..." A yawn broke her expression. "Come, sister. We have things to attend to. True, you're welcome to eat and enjoy yourself. Thank you."

Luna rose to her hooves. "Consider our words. Your are our most direct line, but not our only. Failure to act means we will be forced to do so instead, and I feel you would rather that be avoided."

Celestia cast an irritated look, but they both left.

Good cop, bad cop. Both wanted me to be their savior. Both were likely willing to take action if I fell through, one way or the other. They wanted to save their ponies. Could I blame them? Well, yes. Of course I could, but was it a bad blame? I nibbled at the food they had left behind. Their discarded breakfast was tastier than most of what I actually ordered on Earth. I blamed it on being new.

I hadn't turned to stone after eating. I was still free to explore and enjoy Equestria, but where did I want to go? I could try to find that mare, Chrysalis? I could roam the streets of the city and just take in the sights. Lord knew there was plenty to be seen that I hadn't seen yet, but taking time to sightsee in the middle of the crisis felt... wrong.

I could combine the two, however.

Author's Note

Some mysteries get some light shone on them. Are we moving in the right direction?

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78 - Canterlot Canter

I ambled through the streets of Canterlot at a lively canter. There were ponies to see. Some were busy trying to look refined, but others were smiling. I focused on the latter, they were more fun to approach. But I was not there for either of those. I had my eyes out for a particular female. Trick, the female could, in theory, shapeshift.

Could she become a he? If so, my search might have been entirely hopeless. I put aside that thought and trusted that, even if male, they would give off the same 'vibe'. Besides, it was the best use of my time at the moment I could think of. If only there was a way to signal them...

That's when I stopped and put a hoof to my head. I had just had the stupidest idea, but could it work? Maybe.

I asked for a paper and a quill and a mare produced both. "Here you are." They could be so nice at times. I thanked her and got to scribbling before I passed the quill back and trotted along with the paper floating over my head.

"Subtle," spoke a familiar voice a few minutes later. There she was, as I had seen her last. She slipped free of the Canterlot crowd. "You've made up your mind then?"

I rolled up the paper that read simply, "I want to talk," and tucked it away in a bag. "I wasn't sure that would work, but it did, hello again."

She flashed her teeth, sharp still. "Hello yourself, stallion. I trust you did not call for idle chit-chat?"

I shook my head quickly. "No, I wouldn't waste your time like that. We're both busy people. Let's start with a question. This does not disqualify you, mind. Celestia and Luna have already agreed to hear you." She perked up at that. "But are you Chrysal--"

She slapped a hoof over my snout. "Discretion! And no..." She stepped back a little. "I work with her though, so not a bad guess. Of course, I don't plan to prove or disprove that, so assume I am if that makes things simpler."

Fair enough... "So long as you plan on dealing straight with me, I don't care if you are or not, in the end. I do want those humans."

Her horn glowed softly. "Then you just have to follow this tail." She turned and started walking off. "A thing you're adept at, I'm told."

I scowled as I followed her. "I'm a virgin." At least, as a pony. Not that I hadn't been tempted, but still!

"Good to know," she said in a sing-song way. "Still, really? Are you even trying?" She weaved down into an alleyway. "Alright, let's get my side of things out of the way. I'll arrange for the hu-mans to be found."

"No." I thrust a hoof at her. "We're not at a level of trust to simply assume you'll make people appear."

She paused a moment before nodding. "You're shrewder than I gave credit for. Very well. I'll turn over one right now, as a sign of good faith, the others will be given once our message is delivered."

That was starting to sound more like a hostage situation than I liked, but screaming that would likely sour the whole thing. "So, how did you find them?"

She shook her head. "They stand out. Once we noticed the first, we started keeping our eyes open for others, started a little collection... We've been treating them nicely, promise." She sat on her haunches. "I dare say a few of them are perfectly happy where they are."

"I will need their names and pictures, please, even if they prefer to stay where they are." I pulled out the same paper I had from before, but I had no quill. "Have something to write with?"

Her eyes rolled as she pulled out a scroll of her own. "Now you're being rude. Don't you even want a name?"

"I don't think you'll give one," I admitted. "You know mine."

"I do," she confirmed. "And you're right. I suppose I'm teasing." She unfurled the scroll. "Names."

I quickly got to counting. Fifteen! "Wait, didn't you say closer to half a dozen before."

She held out the scroll in her magic towards me. "That's how many we're turning over. But you said you wanted a list, whether or not they're coming."

The glow of the scroll shifted as I took it from her magic into my own. "That's fair. Are the others happy then?"

"Oh yes, very." She raised a hoof to her chin. "Most prey resist being held, but they seem to enjoy it."

I very much did not like the sound of that! "Are they being harmed?"

"Not your concern. Here is the missive." She produced a second scroll. "See that it reaches their eyes directly, no intermediaries."

I took the scroll, but my eyes were on her. "About the first?"

"Follow." She was back on her hooves and walking in no great hurry. "Would you rather a large one or a small one?"

What a choice... "Does the large one look like it has a small one in it, by chance, a female?"

"Perhaps." She flicked a tail back at me as she walked onwards. "You want the pregnant one then?"

I wanted them all! I bit back a hasty retort though. "Yes... that would be a nice start. Have you... harmed her?"

"Oh, we don't hurt anyone." She looked over her shoulder back at me. "Not physically, not usually..."

Oh, that was comforting. "I gather you are one, a changeling then?"

Her upper lip pulled back in a brief sneer. "I don't think I need to answer that. She stopped in front of a metal door and rapped on it three times, paused, then four more times. "Bring out the heavy one," she shouted through it. "Before you get funny ideas, we'll have moved shop before you can get anyone back here." She turned back towards me. "I'm on the level, and I hope you are as well."

"You're not giving the best impression." I watched her carefully. "But let's take this one step at a time."

"Good attitude." She kicked the door without facing it and it opened. "Here you are, one hu-man."

From the darkness came a woman, staggering as if shoved into the light. She was as pregnant as I had feared. She was a light brown. Hispanic? Maybe hispanic... She had mousy brown hair and wore a simple t-shirt and jeans that did a reasonable job of covering her bloated form. "You don't need to shove," she spat with a bit of an accent that quickly confirmed my theory.

I nodded at the irritated woman. "Hello. My name is True Shot and I'm here to help."

"Like I've been helped so far." She looked less than pleased about things.

"Don't mind her." The mare that had led me that far waved it all off. "She's yours. Make sure that gets to the princesses, and you get more. Ta ta." She waggled a hoof at me, clearly expecting me to just... go.

Which was exactly what I planned. "I'm sorry, let's get you somewhere more comfortable. Can you walk?"

"I have legs," she assured, taking a step towards me. "But why should I go with you?"

"Because I'm offering shelter, food, some privacy, and a chance to get home." I counted on my hoof as I went, which was decidedly ineffective.

She gave an uncertain look towards the changeling(?) mare. "If it means we're getting out of this place, I guess I won't complain too much."

I turned back to the castle. "This way, I'll take you to the castle, where you'll be taken care of."

"Castle?" She looked where I was looking and saw the castle. "So are you going to tell me where in the good god's name I am?" She was following despite her angry words.

"Welcome to Equestria, land of ponies," I glanced sidelong at her. "Which you may have guessed in part."

"A little," She wobbled a hand. "So... you one of them bugs?"

"I'm stranger than that... Part horse, part human. My human name is Linda."

"That..." She seemed to cut herself off. "Why do you have a human name?"

"Because I go back and forth every day." We emerged from the alleyway and ponies started staring with wide fearful eyes. They didn't do anything rash, but they kept some distance. I stood as tall as I could. "She's with me and means no harm."

"Oh," they said in a chorus of tones, the tension deflating. Was it that easy?

A little foal came trotting up. "Hey Mister Shot! What is that?" She pointed right at the lady.

The lady's nose wriggled a bit as her hands went to her hips. "My name is Susan, little one."

The filly blinked with wide eyes. "Oh wow! Are you a minotaur? You look funny for a minotaur, and those already look f--" Another pony, presumably her mother, snatched her up and whisked her away, apologizing.

Susan shook her head at the parting ponies. "You don't seem nearly as surprised to see me."

"I am, but in a different way." I led her along, cutting a path with my own bulk. "Are you alright? Did they hurt or abuse you in any way?"

"No, they were... mostly fine... Tell me we're eating solid food wherever we're going."

"Solid?!" What had they been feeding her? "Yes, that at least." We were just reaching the steps of the castle, the sun on my back, cool stone beneath my hooves. It was a fine day to mount a rescue, which I felt I was doing fairly well. "Have you been here long?"

"About a month." Susan reached over and ran a hand suddenly over my back. I hadn't felt a human hand petting me like that. It was... ticklish and electric at the same time, especially when she gave a pet down my spine. Was that why dogs like petting? It was also just a bit put-offish. It was my space, dang it.

I sidestepped, and almost fell over trying to do it on stairs. "How... far along are you?"

The reaching hand fell to her gravid belly. "About half a year? I'll get bigger before I'm done."

My teeth clenched a moment as I resumed guiding her. "Do you have a husband, or a family waiting for you?"

"I... probably had... a boyfriend." Her tone was bitter. "I doubt he waited this long with no sign of me. He probably figured I ran off somewhere. I can't even blame him."

We were approaching the guards and I moved ahead to speak to them first, "Hello. I've brought a human with me, her name is Susan." Susan raised a hand and offered a little wave. "She's of interest to the Sisters. Where should I house her for the moment?"

"Sisters?" came Susan's curious and cautious voice from behind me as the guards murmured to one another a moment.

One of them saluted and spun around, starting to lead the way. We fell in behind him.

Susan's eyes were on the walls. "What art... Look at those windows..." She reached out to pet a passing unicorn as she had with me.

The noble-looking mare gave a surprised snort and danced away. "Well, I never!" She turned her nose up as high as it went and stomped off angrily.

I slowed down to be beside Susan. "Did the others let you pet them? You should ask before you reach, just like with people, really."

Susan lifted her shoulders. "They seemed alright with it, but okay. I'm not trying to be an ass about it." A snort drew her attention to where a donkey was standing. But... she didn't seem to get the pun entailed in the situation. "What?"

I quickly moved between them. "Forgive her, she's new and didn't mean any harm by it."

The donkey muttered something, but trotted off down the hallway.

Author's Note

We have two hu-mans to deal with, and one of them is almost ready to lay eggs. There is no way this can end well, I imagine.

Hu-mans lay eggs, right?

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79 - Party Time

With Susan settled at the castle, I could relax, but it had been quite a day, and I felt the stone coming. I returned to the platform they usually put me on, my hoofsteps sounding funny as they became stone on stone. It was fortunate that the magic involved seemed to allow some motion before it all settled in. I sank to my haunches, raised my head, and closed my eyes.

I awoke in what felt like no time at all, rising from my bed to hear the mutterings of others. Trixie and Starlight were sitting on up on their beds.

Trixie spotted me first. "Good morning, Linda. We trust you slept well?"

"Interestingly, at least." I started the morning rituals, with that extra nostalgic tang of being in my childhood home. As I prepared for a new day, I explained my adventures from the evening before, meeting the changeling and rescuing Susan.

As Starlight slipped past me for her turn in the shower, she gave a little poke. "You should call Twilight, fill her in."

Tod's laugh announced his presence. "Is she another furry?" he asked excitedly as he came into clear view from around the corner. "Does she dress up half as good? I wanna see her!"

That seemed a fine excuse. "Yes, she is furry, since the day she was born, I bet she'd claim."

Tod seemed quite pleased at the admission. "Cool! See, it ain't so bad. Don't know why people get all up about that." Starlight closed the door rather than answer. "Do they stay in their outfits all day? The shower will make her dye run, right?"

"She uses waterproof stuff," I lied boldly. "Don't you have things to do?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, but no. This house is boring and your friends are the best part of it. I'm not bothering them that much, right?"

I considered that before pointing back to my temporary room. "Knock first, but I bet Trixie would be happy to see you."

"What's her real name?" he challenged.

Truth seemed the winning answer there. "If you call her anything but Trixie, except maybe 'The Great and Powerful Trixie', you will annoy her."

"That's a bit deep for roleplaying." Tod's voice seemed to hover between being impressed and worried, but off he went to find Trixie.

I fished out the Twilight Signal from the purse just in time for mother to arrive.

"Dear, there you are. Be ready to head out at ten." She reached and fussed with my clothing in a way that only parents and spouses were allowed to do, picking at the literal nits she could find.

"Ten?"

"Yes, Ten." She took a step back to give me a more general viewing. "It's not often I get everyone together, and I plan to make the most of it."

"What are we doing?" I had just dressed, so I didn't expect too much to be out of place, yet, but leave it to a mother... I was only mildly annoyed when she came in to fuss some more.

"We're going to be 'old school' about this, as the kid's say. We're having a little picnic on the beach. We'll talk and--" She had not stopped working at me. "--eat and be a family."

Beach, alright... "I didn't bring a swimsuit, and I doubt Starlight or Trixie did either."

"Speak for yourself," came Trixie's confident tones. She approached with Tod beside her. "Trixie is prepared for all situations!" She produced a one piece suit from a pocket and I just had to wonder, could a magic pony figure out how to hold things on their person in that same way they did as a pony when they were a human? I supposed Trixie, of anyone, would figure it out.

Tod withdrew behind Trixie, but mother spotted him easily. "Tod, are you bothering our guests?"

Trixie waved it away. "He's just a fan of Trixie, which she understands. She was showing him a few tricks, but he will have to wait to see the rest, for Trixie performs for crowds, not for solo performances. It would be a crime to deny the world her magic!"

Tod made a disappointed sound, but stepped forward. "I wanna see the rest."

"And you will," assured Trixie. "At the party."

Mother led Tod away, giving me some space. Still... "I suppose I don't have to go in the water..."

Trixie met eyes with me. "You do not fool Trixie. Shall we consult The Oracle and find some?"

And so was the morning. I didn't need Google's help. It was my home town and I hadn't been away that long. I went and got a bathing suit for myself and Starlight, then got picked up from the store to meet the rest of the family at the beach. It was a warm day, not a hot one. I liked it. I was dressed in my own one piece suit, feeling... How to describe? Being a lawyer meant that being reserved was at least part of the job duty, especially in fashion. You dressed formally, that's just what you did.

There I was, showing off more skin than I had in years in full view of the world. I kept telling myself I was being silly, but that didn't make the heat in my cheeks go away no matter how much I mentally complained.

A hand came down on my shoulder, it was Starlight. "You alright? I see your family." She pointed ahead where a large blanket was spread out and the family rested on and around it, at least those that had not run off into the water to play.

"I will be," I promised even if I didn't sound sincere to myself. "I just haven't been to the beach in a long time."

"It's just like anywhere else, really." She plucked at her own suit. She had managed to find one that matched her hair, which seemed to be an important thing for ponies. "I'm not used to these clothes either, but they're not... that bad. Did you ever get a chance to talk to Twilight?"

Right, distraction. "I'll go do that, tell them I'm on the way."

Starlight gave a thumbs up and we parted. I looked around and saw that the bathroom was a single person model, which would work perfectly. I quickly slipped inside and locked the door. The Twilight Signal was brought to bear and I pressed the button firmly.

"Hello?" came from the mirror in there. Twilight was sitting in it, visible from the chest up. "This isn't one of the normal places. Is something wrong?"

"No emergency." I waggled a few fingers as I turned to her. "We have two humans located and secured in Equestria, but I have a feeling neither belongs to my country. Luna seems to think ponies aren't being scattered over the world, this world, but I'm not sure I'm sold on that."

Twilight tilted her head to the left. "What are they like, and where are they?"

"Minuette has one," I said as I counted on a finger. "A little boy, er, colt. He seems cute and harmless but very lost and eager to go home." I moved to the second finger. "The other is a woman, a mare, halfway through a pregnancy at that. She's friendly, watch out for petting. She's at the Canterlot Castle right now."

Twilight's wings popped out. "Minuette?! When did she get involved in this? Nevermind." She seemed to force her wings back down. "I'm glad she's helping. I'll pay a visit to them both and see what I can learn. Perhaps there are traces of whatever magic pulled them here. Pregnant you say? How could you tell?"

I have never blinked so hard in my life. "How could you not tell?" I retorted. "She was swollen." I put both hands at my belly and pantomimed the growth expected during the miracle of child making.

Twilight glanced off and back at me, her head shaking slightly. "Ponies don't get that much larger. That must be uncomfortable."

That brought up so many questions, but then... they went away. If a pony could tuck away a thousand objects into nowhere, keeping them close at... hoof, why would a foal be that different? To learn more, I'd need to be a scientist with a bunch of willing pony subjects to try to figure it out. I was not, so I pushed the query free of my mind for the moment. "Your people are blessed, Twilight. Back to the points at hand, you're welcome to visit them, just be mindful that they're both lost. Be easy on them."

"I will be extra careful," she said as she raised a hoof in a salute. "Being diplomatic is one of many roles I have as a princess."

"Did someone say diplomat?!" Pinkie dropped down from above, literally hovering over Twilight's head. "I'm one of those! I mean, I'm an ambassador, which is like a diplomat, right?"

I pondered what series of events led to the hyper pink pony becoming an ambassador of anything even as Twilight pulled her down to sit on the same level. "Pinkie, this is no joking matter."

Pinkie recoiled. "What? I take my ambassadorship seriously, Twilight." She crossed her hooves. "I have a one hundred percent success rate."

"You've only been on one mission." Twilight's eyelids came down halfway as she gave Pinkie a look.

"That was successful," she countered with a raised hoof. "One hundred percent." She gave a firm nod at that. "Don't worry, I'll help. Just take me with you and we'll have this sorted out in no time at all."

Twilight shook her head with a smile. "Well, we have this under control then. We'll check up on the humans you found and give them a proper welcome to Equestria and maybe figure a few things out. There isn't a lot you can do, unless you can talk to whatever kingdoms they do come from?"

If Susan came from Mexico, which I had not confirmed, that felt actually... easier than most of the other options. "I need more information before I can start planning that out. If you can, ask Susan what country she's from when you're there. Do it politely, of course. I doubt she'll consider it much of a secret. Don't bother with the boy, he's too young to even have a good grasp on the concept. In fact, keep the questions to him to a minimum."

Twilight frowned at my advice. "But we need more information..."

Pinkie huffed. "If he's just a colt, asking him a bunch of questions will just get him upset and us nowhere. You can't go chasing colts around, Twi."

Twi's eyes widened slightly. "Pinkie, phrasing. Alright, alright. We'll focus on the adult, the mare. Hopefully she will be a willing source of details. We have to start solving this problem instead of just learning how deep it goes."

Pinkie tilted her head. "Twilight, have you ever seen a pregnant human before?"

"Can't say I have," easily confessed Twilight.

"I wanna see one." She clopped her forehooves together. "I got to see Misses Cake go through it, the fun parts and the less than fun parts and everything, except the very last part. The doctors wouldn't let me watch. How lame is that?"

"Very... lame," said Twilight, clearly holding back her true feelings on the matter. "Thank you for checking in with us, Linda. We're on the case." Both she and Pinkie snapped to attention as the image faded, leaving me standing in a bathroom.

As if conjured by the vanishing, a knock came from the door and a female voice called, "Everything alright in there?" That's when I remembered I was hogging up the only woman's bathroom for some distance. I was really testing out those blushing muscles as I pocketed the cube and got out of there so the other ladies could have their turn, likely not talking to extradimensional princesses.

Author's Note

We're back in the human world! Those naps are working though, giving us more time to enjoy being in the pony world. We should keep that up, right?

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80 - Beachside Fun

It was time to put all thoughts of ponies aside, aside of the two that were doing their best to not be ponies, they were alright. Hot fried chicken and cold deli sliced sandwich meat for sandwiches were in easy supply, along with a variety of drinks and any number of family members that were eager to make small talk while trying subtly (not that subtly) to dredge out the details of my life.

"So," started my father in that tone that told me clearly he wanted to ask something awkward. "You and those other two girls. You live together?"

"We are not a gay commune," I said with a finger twirl.

"Trixie tries to be," declared my round friend as she sank down beside us. "Happy performers get better reactions, or so she is told."

Dad guffawed at the innocence displayed. "Was that a joke at my expense?" But Trixie was looking genuinely confused. He backed off the topic.

Starlight waved from closer to the water. "Come on, who goes to a beach to not go in the water?"

That sounded more fun than awkward questions and I stood up. From up there I could see most of the adults were happy just lazing in the sun. I was not. Maybe I could blame it on Equestria, but moving felt like a better idea. "Are you joining us?" I asked father, knowing he'd likely turn it down, but it was polite to ask. He did not surprise me and I got to walking briskly across the soft but uncomfortably hot sand.

I heard Trixie laugh beside me as she caught up. "She will come with you two. That looks like fun."

Tod waved excitedly, already half in the water. "Hey, Trix, wanna play?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Why is it she seems to draw the young male fans? Such is the price of stardom." She wandered towards Tod, accepting his invitation.

That left me with Starlight, who looked quite amused. "Trixie is going to get stomped, let's not be witnesses to it." She grabbed for a hand and pulled me towards the water. "C'mon."

"Hold yer horses." I pulled back to stop her and moved at my own pace. The water lapped at my toes, quite cold compared to the heated sand that was touching them just a moment ago. It wasn't a bad cold per se, but I wanted to get used to it. We waded out until it reached our midsections when Starlight suddenly stopped and reached down.

She came back up with a shell. "Look what I found." She rubbed over its rough surface with her fingers as she turned it about slowly. "I never saw one of these in their 'natural' environment."

I stepped in closer to give it a look. It wasn't anything like those picture perfect models they had for sale at gift stores. It had pits and grooves and many imperfections that made it... real in a sense. "That's a nice one. Do you plan to keep it?"

"Nah." She let it drop right back into the water. "This outfit doesn't exactly come with pockets, and humans don't get those built-in for Celestia Knows Why reason. So, you any good at swimming?"

The thought immediately came to me. "Are you? I mean... like that?"

She lifted her shoulders. "Only one way to find out."

"Yes, in a pool, not in the ocean!" I said a little louder than I first intended. "Seriously, you could get hurt."

She gave me a shove. "Well, at least one of us should enjoy it, mother."

I huffed at the barb. "You are a friend, and I don't want you to be hurt."

"Yeah yeah, I get that, and I'll be good, promise, but really, go on. I want to see how different your swimming is from mine."

She meant human swimming, but, again, I could not imagine the not-clear waters of the sea were ideal for the purpose. Still, who was I to deny that harmless request? I did know how to swim, and I proved it by dunking beneath the gently rolling waves and cutting through the chilly depths of the water.

It had been quite a while since last I swam. It came back easily, and I remembered why I used to like it. The feel of moving around the depths was relaxing in a way and I did just that for a while, losing track of everything but the movements needed to keep moving. Swimming takes the entire body moving in harmony to do right, and I felt that. My lungs started to complain that I was not a sea creature and I started for the surface.

I felt the water flow free as my head broke the top and hit air. I drew in a greedy gulp of air as the rest of me began to tread water gently to keep me from sinking back. That was when I noticed I was much further from the beach than I had originally intended. How had I swum so far, so fast? I peered at the beach, which I felt sure was still the same beach, but I was far enough out to make figuring out which people were which difficult. My heart began to hammer in fear. I was far past any depths I had gone before.

I felt something nudge against my left hip and I'm not afraid to admit I might have squealed in terror. It nudged again. Whatever it was, it wasn't sharp. If it was an attack, it was a very ineffective one. I tried to calm myself. For all I knew, it was a bit of sea trash bumping up against me that I was freaking out about. I reached cautiously for it and whatever it was nudged right up against my hand.

It was alive. It was alive and nuzzling my palm. It felt furry. Was I being rescued by a seal? Seals didn't do that, right? A seal would rather bite me than be that close to a human, right? I didn't know that much about oceanic life, but there was something furry and soft saying hello to my hand.

Everything suddenly went dark. Whatever it was had wrapped itself around me and gave a powerful yank, submerging me with barely time for a squeak. Why hadn't I worn goggles? That would have helped just then. Trying to see was fruitless, and painful. Whatever it was, it held close to my thrashing form, furry form pressed close to mine before its lips found mine. I felt its tongue. I was being french kissed by some monster that would drown me. It was insane, and it was happening.

I kept my lips closed tight and tried to push it away, but it was stronger than I was. My lungs were screaming. All that effort was not helping with holding my breath and I had barely started to breathe when it all happened. It squeezed me tight and I finally opened my mouth just a little. I was not rewarded with slimy monster tongue. Sweet air came instead. Whatever it was, it was somehow breathing air into me through our kiss.

My thrashing died a little. Was I being rescued by a mermaid instead of a seal? That was... I just didn't know. A lot of 'can't be's had already happened in the last few months. I reached out in the darkness, feeling whatever was holding me instead of fighting it. That shape... Its upper portion was that of a pony, I felt sure of it. Its arms ended in hooves that rested on my back, holding me close to it.

It didn't seem to mind my exploration, so I kept going, noticing that it stopped being a pony right around the hips. There were no hind legs. It had a powerful tail instead with a fin at the end. My touching it seemed to prompt it to slap against my hand lightly as if I had tickled it. I'd found a pony, a sea pony. Sea ponies were a thing? It was hard to argue the evidence in front of me.

The sea pony seemed to notice that I had stopped thrashing and its grip loosened a little. It nuzzled against me, still feeding me air through our enduring kiss. Whoever they were, they were affectionate at least. That did not make it that much less scary. They nudged my lips closed with their own and pulled back, leaving me to hold my breath a moment as they did... something. I still couldn't see. A slimy wetness descended over my head and I could feel dryness.

I opened my eyes and saw my head was engulfed in a bubble. I had been given a magical air bubble... "Wow." I could see out of it clearly and beheld the soft greens and blues of the sea pony. I felt sure she was a she. I blamed that on my pony side. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," she spoke back, bowing in a soft of bending, floating as she was. "Land ponies should not swim this far away from land."

"I got a little careless," I admitted as I looked her over. She was everything a mermaid should be, if you were a pony. The pony side of me seemed to agree with her easily. "But I'm not a pony."

"Not a regular one," she easily agreed. "But I'm not a regular one either. I can feel it in you. You are a pony, tell me I'm wrong."

I couldn't do that, at least without lying. "I'm a little pony."

She clopped her hooves together. "I knew it. I'm so glad to run into another. It gets very lonely... Why did you swim so far away? Were you looking for me? That's very nice of you."

I pointed up at my magic bubble. "How long will this last, and how is the air not getting stale?"

She tilted her head as if that were a silly question. "Until you go back to land. You should be safe. It's tricky making those, but they last." She circled me then with all the agility of a dolphin. "You smell like a stallion, sound like a mare. Which are you?"

Oh boy. "A little of either, assume mare."

"Oh that's good... I get shy around stallions... but you were scared and lost and I couldn't just leave you." She came up behind me and hugged me. "My name's Wave Bell. What's yours?"

Opportunity suddenly flashed in my mind. Wave Bell was not a known creature. I could rescue her without inciting any negative backlash from the government. Heck, if she never touched land, she was, at worst, teasing nautical laws and not actually an illegal immigrant just yet. Removing her would break no laws. "I'm Linda, and I think we could get you home."

Her face brightened. "You mean besides the ocean?"

"Your ocean, instead of this one," I corrected. "I need a dry place, do you have one of those?"

She reached out a hoof towards me. "This way." As soon as I took hold of it, she began to swim in powerful waves of her tail. She made my swimming seem clumsy in comparison as we descended deeper into the water. I hoped quietly as we went that my family wasn't freaking out in whole new ways about my absence. I'd be back, after taking care of a little foreign diplomacy, or so I planned.

The water got darker as we descended much further than I had any right to go. I wondered if the pressure would cause problems, but the bubble didn't get any smaller, and I didn't feel dizzy or otherwise impeded. Well, my ears did start to get plugged up, so there was some pressure involved. A big yawn cleared that up, popping loudly as it equalized. "How far is it?"

"Not much further," She promised as she turned and grabbed me with both hooves. "I keep forgetting land ponies don't do so well this far. Hold on." She clung tightly as her tail propelled us both into the depths.

Author's Note

Call upon the Sea Ponies, when you're in distress.
Helpful as can be ponies. Simply signal S-O-S.

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81 - Under the Sea

I could feel her swerving around things that I couldn't make out. Fish? I presumed fish. The bubble around my head shrank and I started to feel some of that pressure that water was known for, and it... I don't think I could properly explain how trippy and scary that was. My heart was thumping, but not exactly the normal way. It felt a little confined. All of me did. It was a hug with no start and no end.

"Almost there," she promised, but she had promised that before, and I was becoming less sure of how 'almost' almost really was.

My world turned around in a way that was hard to see, let alone define. Everything swirled in darkness before water began to run free of me. The bubble popped almost comically. We were in a dry place somewhere deep under the surface. I could still feel that oppressive pressure, but I didn't feel like it was killing me... yet. "Where are we?" I couldn't see her, or anything else. I could feel smooth metal under my shaking hands.

"Where I take naps," she spoke from the darkness. "One moment." I could hear her movement. A wet slipping and hooves against metal. Was she dragging herself? Dim flickering light spilled out, destroying the darkness. "Ta-da!"

I looked around, jaw hanging free. We were in what appeared to be a sub. We were in a nuclear sub... "Oh fucking hell..." I swore artlessly. I was trembling with a new sense of horror that only grew worse when I saw what I didn't want to see, a skeleton of some former crew member, bits and pieces fallen to disarray from where it had been fastened to a seat that was turned upside down.

"This is... not... right," I got out as I rose to my feet, my legs feeling like they didn't really want me doing that.

"My old home was better," she agreed, seeming to miss any other objection I might have had. "You said you could get me there?"

Right, focus... That's when I realized I didn't have my purse. No purse, no wonder cube. "Damn it." But... there was hope. "I don't have my caller with me, but I did just vanish. There's a really good chance one or my two friends will try using it, which will make the person who could help us appear near me."

She clopped her forehooves together as she settled into a curled and relaxed position. "Then we wait? We can do that."

Sure... we would wait in some crashed sub that could be leaking radioactive junk everywhere. That sounded... great. What was it even doing so close to shore? Of course, who was to say how close to shore we were at that point? Wave Bell had swum like a torpedo through the water, and I certainly had no landmarks to try to compare with. For all I knew, we were miles away from where we had started.

"Are you alright?" She had noticed I was having a nice quiet panic attack. "Oh! Are you thirsty? Land ponies can't just drink sea water, right?" She gestured at the hole we had entered from. It was perfectly round, which told me it was designed to be there, rather than being a jagged scar of whatever accident caused the sub to sink.

That made me think a little. "It can't be..." If it was nuclear, so much more effort would have gone into recovering it. There were not-nuclear subs, right? It wasn't a thing I had much reason to look up before that moment. "N-no, I'm... not thirsty."

"Are you sure?" Wave leaned forward a little, looking up at me. "You look like you could use a drink." She tapped at the metal with a hoof. "At the least, you should rest with me. You look tired."

Tired was the opposite of what I felt. Despite that, I sank down beside her. I had meant to sink to my rump, but things gave out as I touched the ground and I flopped onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. The back of my head bounced painfully against the floor, leaving my vision swimming a moment as I curled in pain.

Wave wrapped around me, making soft noises a moment. Her left hoof slipped under my head and cradled it. "Poor thing, you really are... What's wrong? Can I help?"

That's when a realization dawned. "I'm being silly. Even if they don't use the caller, we'll be alright."

"Alright?" She tilted her head. "I don't understand. Are you alright?"

"I am." I held out a hand as I slowly sat up. She helped me get upright, sitting properly. "I am. Sorry... Worst case scenario, I eventually fall asleep, and then I'll be able to reach the one that can help us both."

"Both?"

"Yes... both." I sighed slowly, trying to regather my wits. "If she takes you back to Equestria, that leaves me in a boat under the sea, or maybe ocean, and there is no way for that to end well... I'm going to have to go with you unless she can... just magic me back to land. As lovely as that sounds, I don't think she can do that."

"Oh..." Wave did not sound or look like she got it entirely. "But then you'll be in another ocean. How is that better?"

I smiled at that. "I doubt Twilight will bring either of us to an ocean, not directly. You'll have to suffer on dry land a little while she brings you home. She's a land pony, a princess."

"A princess!" She sat up at that. "You didn't say there was a princess involved. Wait--" Her eyes narrowed. "--You also said she's a land pony. Princesses are sea ponies."

"She's a princess of the land ponies," I said, unable to keep a little laugh from my voice. "It's nice to know sea ponies have princesses too. I hope they're just as nice."

"They are! I think?" She lifted her shoulders. "I don't know how nice land pony princesses are."

"Hello?" came a faint voice from the circle of water.

I knew that voice and practically scrambled to bring Twilight into view. She was hazy and faded, but she was there. "Twilight! I am so happy to see you right now."

She returned my smile, though her relief wasn't close to mine. "Where are we? The magic seems to have a hard time reaching here."

Wave Bell slipped close, peering where I was and seeing the pony. Her ears went upright as she reached for Twilight. "Hello there! Who are you?" She made contact with the water and it rippled, distorting Twilight's image.

"Oh, hello there," came Twilight's equally distorted voice. "Please don't do that. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and you are?"

"Wave Bell! Linda was just telling me about land princesses." She withdrew her hoof from messing with the water. "That felt funny. Did you do something to the water?"

"It is a contact between our worlds," explained Twilight. "Please don't touch it, it's dangerous. Linda, what's going on?"

"We are deep underwater," I started out with a sigh. "Wave Bell here hasn't actually set foot on American soil yet, so I was hoping we could get her home, but didn't expect the dry land we would find ourselves would be... here."

Ding! The bell that sounded when I pressed the side of the cube to signal Twilight went off. Twilight glanced off camera. "That's been ringing constantly. It isn't you?"

Oh... "That means Starlight or Trixie realize something is wrong and they're doing what they can. They can't tell what's happened, just that I went out swimming and never came back." There was some hope there... "I'm going to pray they made up an excuse for my family about why I might not be there. I don't need more people panicking about this."

Twilight frowned softly a moment. "I... don't have anything that serves as a link to either of them as I do you, Linda, so I can't contact them so easily. We're just going to have to trust they do the best they can. Why don't you and Wave Bell was it? Why don't the two of you just go back to land?"

Wave Bell waved as her name was called. "There's a lot of land."

I wanted to swear, but I held it in that time. One point for me. "Can you get us back to where we started?"

"There's a lot of land there... I didn't memorize any of it. It all looks the same to me. It's not like I had a friend there." She leaned in close to the image of Twilight. "You're going to get me to Equestria?"

Twilight put a hoof to her head. "Linda... This is a poor idea. Even if I get you two back here, then we're abandoning Starlight and Trixie, to say nothing of all the other ponies. A portal here, under the water, is not going to do us much good. I understand where you're coming from, and it is a solid notion, but the execution... I can't stand by this."

"You won't bring me to Equestria?" Wave Bell's face fell with sadness.

I put a hand out in front of her. "Calm down, we're talking. Twilight, give us some options."

"Go back to land?" She fixed eyes with Wave Bell. "Can you get Linda back to land, any land? Anywhere that's not underwater."

Wave Bell bobbed her head quickly. "I can do this." She grabbed for me and I went rigid, realizing what she was planning. I did not want to find out, the hard way, what trying to use a water scrying pool to transport a living thing, two living things at once, might cause.

"Stop!" I barked and gave her a rough shove.

She stumbled back, confusion and hurt showing on her face. "But... I'm just trying to help."

"And you will, promise, but nothing alive should go through that while Twilight is there."

"Is that what she was trying to do?!" squeaked Twilight, sounding horrified. "I'll check in every ten minutes or so until you're somewhere safe and we can decide what to do from there. She faded away, removing the option of anyone diving through her image.

Wave Bell wagged a hoof at the empty pool, her tail slapping the ground. "All clear. We can go now?"

"Almost. Can you get a bubble on me before we get in the water? But more importantly, I need need you to come up slowly, probably slower than you've ever swum before."

Wave Bell looked baffled at the request. "But don't you want to be on land faster? You sounded like you really wanted to do it quick. Why wouldn't we do it quick?"

"It's... complicated... but my body is not meant to go from high pressure to low pressure." I was no diver, but I'd heard of the bends before. "If we do it too fast, then I could get really badly hurt, or even die. We don't want that, right?"

Her eyes went wider than any creatures should be allowed to. "Oh no! No no! I don't want to hurt you. Are you already hurt? Is that why you were all dizzy before?" She rubbed her hooves together, looking around fretfully. "I really messed this all up... I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright, Wave Bell." I forced a smile that I didn't feel on the inside. I was stressed out, not feeling chipper. "Let's get to land, nice and slowly. Once you get my head above water, then you can be as fast as you want, but getting to the surface, take it nice and slow." I took one step and then another, walking in a circle around the cabin. "About as fast as this."

"It'll take forever... But if that keeps you safe, than that's how slow we go." She gave a firm nod. "You're safe with me, Linda."

Author's Note

Not every idea is a winner. This one gets an E for effort, and that's about it, I think. We've made a new friend at least, right?

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82 - Red Sea

Wave Bell had me back in the coldness of the water, with no light to speak of. I could feel it moving around me at a much more sedate pace than we had first arrived in. She was holding me close, a single source of warmth in a sea of cold. Not rushing manically, I had time to appreciate the feeling of isolation, of alienness the dark sea provided. I couldn't say I favored it much.

I gave my ride a good hug. She was the safe place. Wave returned the gesture, her hooves at my back. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I assured as I tried to make out anything that wasn't Wave in the darkness. We were going upwards, I hoped. I couldn't be absolutely certain of that. It was just darkness and more darkness, with Wave pulling me along slowly. Humans floated, right? So I should want to go upwards, but whatever sensation that was, it wasn't powerful enough to orient me at that moment. I could blame it on being a little freaked out.

The gloom began to fade and I couldn't help but look around as best I could. The forms of schools of fish and larger fish were flitting shadows among the background, but at last I could see them, and that was a boon, at least I thought so until I picked up the shape of something coming at us from behind Wave. I could see it over her shoulder. I gave her a pinch on the back. "Something's behind you!"

She glanced over her shoulder, and the world became even less distinct instantly. She was slicing through the water with a startled squeal. "It's that jerk," she hissed in my ear as she went. "Your oceans have the meanest things in them, I swear."

Mean? That was hardly the adjective I expected from what I thought could have been a shark or something. I held tight to the rapidly swimming Wave Bell. "What is it?"

"A dolphin, a real character. He always picks on me!" She banked to the... left? I think it was left. "Of course he shows up when I'm trying to be slow and careful. Are you alright?"

We didn't seem to be darting up out of the water, which was good. "Just keep the ascending under control and we're fine. Still, a dolphin? I thought they were just cute little things."

"Cute?!" Her tongue emerged from her snout. "Anything but. They're mean bullies is what they are! They like to gang up t--" She cut off as we collided with a fish, no, mammal. It was another dolphin right in front of us. It clicked and squeaked. "Like... that." She back-pedaled away from the second, but the first had caught up with us in the delay. "I am the worst host ever..."

There were two of them, two dolphins. They were circling around us in wild orbits. They were... dolphins. It was really hard to be instinctively terrified of a dolphin. I had been raised to think of them as charming little creatures of the sea.

I decided to try taking this into my own hand, literally. I reached out towards them. "Hello there. Aren't you two lovely little things." I tried to keep my voice calm and welcome. Maybe they'd react differently to a human then they had to the clearly nervous Wave Bell.

One swam forward and nipped at the water near my hand. I flinched away as it clicked and swam in closer. Was it testing me? I couldn't be sure, but I decided to up the ante. As it swam so very close, I reached out and gave its belly a little rub. That got quite the series of noises from it, but it didn't immediately bite a chunk out of me, which I was willing to chalk up as a success.

The other dolphin curled around and suddenly nuzzled the arm that had pet its friend. Did it want petting too? I wasn't of the mind to deny it.

"What are you... doing?" asked Wave, watching with palpable confusion as I began to pet and play with the dolphins. "Why aren't they being mean to you?"

One of the dolphins rammed into her, butting her with its round head as if to command silence from her. They didn't seem to like her. Maybe because she looked like a dolphin done wrong? I was only guessing, of course, but they seemed at least alright with a human. Of course, they were still two wild animals with sharp teeth and there I was, playing with them. They could hurt me severely at any instant, and there wouldn't be a lot I could do about it. I tried to keep that intense dread from showing in my actions.

I was hoping they would get bored and go away. Alas, they were quite happy to keep on playing. They nudged Wave back to get me free of her and they were starting to move me around the water like a curious pool toy, nudging me this way, that way. They would nuzzle, chirp, click, and I quickly got the idea. They were not playing with me as a peer, I was just another toy for them. A toy they had stolen from Wave Bell, possibly to their great satisfaction.

"I have to go," I tried saying, even if I knew dolphins didn't speak English, or any other language outside their own that I knew of. "It's been fun. We'll have to do this again." I gently pushed one away, hoping the meaning would carry through. What came back was a forehead as it rammed into my side in a painful charge. That had not worked.

They clicked their unknown dolphin words at me. Were they demanding obedience? Were they just talking to each other? How could I know? The noises suddenly grew in agitation as a form darted through the darkness, grabbed me, and kept going. Wave Bell had made a move.

"See, toldja they were big meanies." She sounded like she was scolding me. "You alright?"

"That's a popular question today." I gave her a hug, glad to be away from the dolphins. "I'm fine, are they following?"

She looked back over her shoulder. "I don't see them, guess they got bored." Her swimming began to slow down as she angled upwards towards the faint light above. "I'll get you back to land. We sea ponies take rescue operations super seriously."

Thankfully, no other curious, or hungry, sea life came to greet us during our ascent. The light become clearer and I could start to see what the life around us looked like. It was a wonderful splash of living colors. I had nothing else to do but admire it, so I did. It was a lovely scuba experience, minus the actual scuba. That pressure eased as we went, slowly ebbing away as Wave pushed persistently towards the surface.

At last, my head was pushed up above the surface. Wave was under the water, holding me up. I looked around wildly, trying to get my bearings. Water. There was water in all directions. "How far out are we?!"

Wave's grip slacked as she slipped up above the water with me, holding me in a light hug. "Oh, no land here, but we're at the surface, so you're safe now, right?"

"Safer," I allowed. "Thank you for that, but we do need to get to land. Do you know what direction that'd be in?"

She spun, taking me with her as she did a quick three-sixty in place, then she thrust a hoof up into the air. "Look! Bird!" There was a seagull, sailing along the currents of the air. "It has to be coming or going from land. If we follow it, we'll eventually get there."

That hardly seemed like an ideal plan, but I didn't have a lot of other ideas, so I just nodded. "Keep it in sight. I don't think those rest in the water, so we should be on the right track, eventually."

We followed the bird, skimming along the water's surface. The bubble popped, but I had plenty of air to choose from, so I wasn't upset about that.

That was when the bird landed. It landed quite peacefully, bobbing on the currents. It took a nice drink of salt water which was apparently just fine for it.

"I don't think following it is going to... work."

Wave pouted as her idea went bust. Alright, then we just have to get to looking. If we don't find land, there could be a boat or something. Anything at all, right?"

"A boat is going to be much more awkward," I confessed, imagining trying to explain to any given boat how I had ended up so far from land. I was saved by a mermaid, that's what I could tell them. "Not a lot of other options but to get searching." The sun was getting heavy in the sky. That meant we had been out there for an uncomfortably long time. My family was probably freaking out in whole new ways. How many others were involved?

Fear gnawed at me as we searched for land, any land. Sure, if we picked a direction and stuck to it, we'd eventually hit something, but that wasn't the ideal way by far. I desperately wanted to have my phone, in a waterproof case. A single flick of Google and the mystery would have been busted. I'd not only know where I was, but how to get where I wanted to be. I missed technology, but there I was, basically naked, being towed around by a clueless sea pony.

"Linda?" came a horribly distorted voice.

We both turned to see Twilight's deformed form reflecting from the water, vast and faint. "Hello? Where are you?"

Wave giggled with joy. "Hello! Wait, you're in... a lot of water. Are we in trouble being in the water?"

"I don't... think so..." Twilight tilted her head. "It was quite a challenge getting this to work on such a large surface, but I don't think anything could go through this. To be safe, don't come any closer. Is Linda there?"

"Here," I waved for what little good it could do, raising my hand out of the water. "We're lost at sea, but at the surface now."

"I can see the sky. Alright--" The interdimensional paging bell went off. "--They are still trying to find you, I can only imagine. Poor Starlight... She must be worried. You're both alright, I hope?"

"As alright as we can be." A meeting with random dolphin bullies and lost at sea hardly qualified as what I would normally label as an 'alright' day. "Can you point us towards land, by chance?"

"My knowledge of your world's geography is limited, to say nothing of my current view, which happens to be of assorted clouds. But! I thought of an idea that should get you pointed in the right direction." The other half of the signal box came into view, Twilight's. "This is linked to the other one. So if I just do..." Her horn began to glow and a light erupted from her box. "Follow that! I'll check in later and keep checking in until you're safe. Good luck, Linda."

She faded away and Wave spun about to face me. "You're right, she really is a nice princess. Now we know which way to go, so let's get swimming." She took a firm hold of me and began shooting through the waves with her full speed. With a direction in mind, there was nothing that could slow her down. It was what I imagined people felt riding on a jet ski, except mine was warm and snuggly and smiled a lot.

Land came into view and we both let out a shared sigh of relief. The end of our journey was coming. "I'm going to duck down a little," she said as she sank beneath the waves with me on her back. I could feel her undulating powerfully, propelling us towards that blessed coast.

Author's Note

That could have gone better, but it could have gone so much worse too.

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83 - Amphibious Exercise

As we drew closer, I could barely make out people, and it was the wrong kind of people. Or the right kind, depending on how you looked at it. They weren't beach partiers. They were emergency crew, likely summoned by my own family. Red and blue lights warred for attention from what had to be several emergency vehicles that had been summoned to find some trace of me.

I ducked under the water and gave Wave Bell a squeeze. I couldn't talk without a bubble, alas.

Fortunately, she seemed to get what I was asking quickly and soon remedied that fact. "What's wrong?" she asked after she got a bubble around my head. "We're almost there."

"We are, and I'm glad for that, but things are complicated." I pointed up along the beach. "Let's take a right, go up until you can't see those glowing colors, then come up."

She tilted her head like a confused dog. "Well, alright... But that isn't the way you want to go." She pulled me close and got to swimming loyally, going despite her obvious reservations. "What are those lights? Are they monsters?"

"More complex than that. They are people looking for me, and if I just emerge from the water like nothing happened, they will be very confused." I let out a huff that steamed the inside of my bubble. "I need to make this work, somehow, without giving you away."

"You can't give me away," she said with a merry laugh. "I don't belong to you, silly."

I was quiet a moment, just processing that failure in communication. "I don't want them to know you're here. I also don't want to lose you. We promised to get you to safety, back to Equestria, and I meant it."

She squeezed me tightly. "Thank you! I mean, your ocean's not bad bad, but compared to mine, it could be better." We ascended up out of the water into the gloom of evening. There were no lights in sight. "Here we are, safe from nasty mean lights."

That was a step, but hardly the last... I seperated from her and started to paddle towards the land, just for her to come swooping up, grabbing me, and pulling me towards the shore. "You swim slow!"

I gave her a little nudge. "Be that as it may, I don't want you seen. Wait here until I call for you."

She released me from her warm grip. "Well, alright. If you need any help, you just have to call." She shook from top to bottom. "But I need help too."

"I didn't forget." I gave her a final hug and kept going until my feet could actually reach the sandy ground and I could start walking up onto the beach.

Cold. The dripping water on my body did nothing to help, and I didn't have a warm cuddle-pony to ward away the chills. The more of me came free of the water, the colder it became. By the time I was completely free, I was shivering fiercely. "N-now... Twilight?" I had no way to summon her specifically, just hoping and waiting. She said every ten minutes. It couldn't be too long before she appeared.

Thankfully, she did not disappoint. A faint shimmer appeared in the water of the sea. "Hello?" came her distorted voice. "I can't tell, are we closer to land?"

I leaned out over the portal. "I'm right here."

"Linda! You look... cold. Are you alright?"

No... "Let's get Wave Bell home before we worry about that."

"Right. Where is she?" I couldn't see Twilight, but I imagined her looking around for hints of the sea pony.

"Right here!" sang a new voice suddenly as Wave emerged from the depths beside the image. She was laying in the water, barely covered by the lapping waves. "Can I go home now?"

"Setting up a mirror portal would be cumbersome and this isn't the ideal place. Wave Bell, do you trust me? I need to do something to you before I bring you over. It will be uncomfortable, but should get you here safe and sound."

Wave's ears danced. "That sounds a little scary, but if it gets me home, then yes. Linda said you were a nice princess."

"Aw, thanks... Alright." Twilight came into view. "Stay perfectly still." She lowered her horn, pointing it at Wave. Magic flowed through the portal, striking Wave. She made a most uncomfortable noise before she vanished. An instant later, a little miniature of her lifted into the air, held by Twilight's magic. It looked like a little stone version of Wave Bell.

"You... made her into a toy?" I gaped at it as it floated over Twilight's picture.

"I did. Non-living objects can pass through, as we've demonstrated. I will return her to normal once she's on this side, and after I've done a complete check for imperfections. It won't be fast or easy, but it means she'll be here." The statue descended into the water and landed on Twilight's uplifted hoof. "Now go. You look terrible." The bell went off twice in rapid succession. "And I think Starlight and Trixie are probably losing their minds, to say nothing of your family. Get back to them."

Her image faded as I barely got in a shivering wave at her vanishing presence. I was left in the dark, shivering with cold. At least I had done what I set out to do. I turned towards where the lights had been. I needed to get back to them. There was really only one way. I put one foot in front of the other, quivering as my legs might have been, and got to moving like humans normally did instead of being carried around by a sea pony.

In the dark, I missed things. My foot, alas, did not miss them. A fresh pain rushed up through me as something cut into the flesh and I yanked the abused foot away from it in shock. I felt moisture running along the skin there. I was bleeding. Oh crap, I was bleeding. I went to the bottom of the ocean to just die on the beach!

Panic surged, heart pounding as I tried to examine the injury, but the lighting was only getting worse by the moment. I could scarcely see a thing. There was no other option. I could cry, which I was already doing a little, or keep going. I put down the injured foot, putting more pressure on the front where it wasn't cut. I had to keep going.

"I won't... lose it this close to the end." My pace slowed to a crawl as I put each foot down ever so carefully to not repeat that mistake. I didn't want another new hole. Step by shuddering step, I pushed onwards. It was cold...

I slumped to my knees. I was failing. I was going to freeze to death on what was once a scorching hot beach. Of all the insane things I had done recently, to be done in by hypothermia on a public beach was... It was stupid. I hated it.

I forced myself back up, a choked sob escaping me. I hated it! I didn't want to die like that. I took another step forward, wondering how it had all jumped on me at once. Was all the abuse of the journey just catching up with me? Had I lost track of time? I didn't know. It didn't matter. All I knew was that I was in a very bad place.

I staggered forward for what could have been hours, but probably wasn't, before my legs seized and I toppled over into the sand. I was, on some level, grateful that it was sand. It wasn't as bad as many other things I could have fallen on. I couldn't stay there. I couldn't... I punched at the ground once with a grunt of pain and frustration as I got to climbing back to my feet, but that felt like too much. Maybe crawling? I could manage that.

How far away did that blasted sea pony drag me away from the lights?! I should have been back already. I should have been safe, worrying about awkward excuses instead of literally dying. I sank into the sand. I needed a rest. Just a little... I passed out.

I heard a bell go off. I was in stone. I wasn't freezing. I was a horse. A chill ran through me. I was either very dead in the human world, and had passed over full time, or I had been rescued. There weren't a lot of options in the middle. The fact that I had no way to know which it was terrified me. I shook free of the stone and saw I was in Twilight's castle, not Canterlot's. When had I been moved?

"He's awake," came a young male voice. Spike's. He came in through the door from the hallway. "Hey there. You alright?"

"I... don't know." I shook loose bits of stone. "Do you know how long it's been since Twilight last talked to me?"

"A few hours?" He shrugged lightly. "She was pretty worried about you, but you look alright, besides, you know..." He gestured at my face. "You look freaked out."

"Spike..." I sank to my haunches. "I don't know if I'm... alive."

"You look pretty alive to me," said Spike, voice dripping with a little snarky edge. He stepped up and put a hand on my chest. "Warm, feel a beat. Yep, alive. Congratulations! Why wouldn't you be sure of that?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to slap Spike at that moment or just hug him and never let go. Was both an option? "Spike, I did not lay down and go to sleep. I passed out with severe hypothermia. That's a pretty good recipe for never waking up again." I didn't do either, in the end. "I... might... be stuck here, forever. I..."

"Is that bad?" he asked with an arched brow. "I mean, you seem to like it around here anyway."

"That is not how that works!" I shrieked with my masculine throat. "I have a life! I have friends, a job, a family! God, I've... ruined their party entirely.... I had ambitions... have! Have, I have them." I was shivering almost as badly as I had been before. "I'm not dead. I'm not dead... I was rescued and taken off to rest and recover. I'm sleeping peacefully in a bed somewhere, maybe with some IVs and a machine and goes beep beep in a dark but warm room and I'll wake up and laugh this whole thing away!" I was lost to hysterics, not even breathing as I rambled.

"I mea--"

"I am not dead!" I bellowed at him so loudly my throat hurt from the effort. I sank to my belly and the world was lost to tears. "I'm not dead," I mumbled out, starting to curl up on myself.

A new presence entered the room, but I was barely aware of it. I could distantly make out that Spike was talking with someone who was responding, but it just didn't matter. I wasn't dead, damn it. I wasn't... I kept repeating the fact to myself, hoping to convince the universe, perhaps. If I said it long and hard enough, it had to be true, right? That's how that works! I was not in a good place.

A hoof came down on my side gently and started to rub. There were no words, just slow and gentle petting.

My sobs were choked and miserable, but I did relax, just a little. I wasn't alone, at least. A clawed hand joined it. I was a mess, but I had people around me that cared.

That didn't make the situation go away, no, but it was something. It would just have to do for the time. "I'm not dead..." I was almost angry at myself for not thinking of something new to say, but it was all that came to me.

It was all that mattered.

Author's Note

Humans are really not designed to do what Linda has done. This does void her warranty, we're afraid.

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85 - Perchance to Dream

I was tired, exhausted from my emotional ride. Spike led me to my room, not by walking, but by nudging me along from above. I was being guided like a horse by a rider. On some level I wondered if such things could ever catch on, but it never seemed hard to figure out what direction he meant with the presses of his feet against my sides. "Spike?"

"Yeah?" He slid forward until he bumped into my neck. "What's up?"

"Thank you." I wanted to give him a little pat on the head. I hoped my unicorn magic made it happen. "You are the best little dragon I know."

He gave a little chuckle at that. "I'm the only little dragon you know, but I'll take it. Feeling any better?"

"I hear you never really do..."

"I... can understand that." He hugged me from behind. "Hopefully we'll find out you're fine and this will be a completely awful little chapter we can move past. If... it's the worst... you're not alone at least."

"Yeah..." I turned back to him as we reached my door. "I'm not up for it, but I'm... Thank you, Spike, really."

He slide down from me to the floor. "Yeah yeah, I get it. Don't even worry about it."

"But I am worrying about it." I put a hoof on his nose. "Someone should worry about you sometimes."

His cheeks warmed. "W-what? I'm fine."

"I'm not sure you are." I leaned in close, my hoof returning to the floor. "After I get some sleep, if you want to talk, just talk, let me know."

Spike hiked a thumb at my rump. "Already feeling your cutie mark?" His tone was jesting as he said it, a sly smile on his face.

Fixing relationships was my... calling, as a pony. Was this a relationship thing? "This is a friend thing," I decided out loud. "But right now, it's a sleep thing. I'll talk to you later, Spike. You're not alone either." I left Spike with a parting wave and stumbled into my room. It was nice that door opened themselves for me, so long as I thought about opening them as I reached them. It closed behind me with an equally simple thought, and I flopped over onto the comfortable bed.

I thought going to sleep while wound up would be hard. I was wrong. I was pulled right away from my stallion body into somewhere else.

It was dark. Something wasn't right. I felt a presence. It was warm and friendly. Concerned? It was dark...

I couldn't talk, or move, or even open my eyes. Did I have eyes? Was I breathing? I couldn't tell. It was dark.

I wanted to move. I wanted to say something, to scream. Anything but... nothing. Nothing was all I got. It was dark.

I jerked awake. The darkness of the room unsettled me, but I could make out the curtains and wanted them open, so they slid open for me, letting the light spill in and chase away darkness I didn't want to deal with. I was breathing hard. I didn't feel as exhausted as I had when I first flopped onto the bed. I let out a slow sigh as I slid free of the bed and rose up. I could feel my alien body moving at my command.

The knowledge that I could be stuck with it for a while, maybe forever, made me more aware of it. I raised each hoof in turn and tried to get a look at each. Then there was the fact that I wasn't female. That wasn't hard to see. I couldn't have even been some soft effeminate male. No, there I was, a literal chiseled masterpiece of masculinity. I laughed, a short strained noise that I stopped almost as soon as it began. I was a stallion, better get used to it...

I snorted softly as I put all four hooves on the ground and lifted my bow instead. It felt... familiar, and I held it close to my front in my magic. It felt nice to hold, like an old friend. It had no complex needs for me, just to shoot some ponies and make them spill their secret feelings for one another. I gave a soft laugh, thinking back over the ponies I had already shot with it.

A thought came to me. "Does it work on one person?" The bow seemed almost confused at the question, and so was I. The little bursts of empathy from the bow, snatches of emotions, were hard to explain. Was it a living thing? It felt like it in some limited way.

A knock interrupted my thoughts. "Who's there?"

It cracked open and Spike poked his head in. "I thought I heard you, so, uh, just checking in."

Twang! I hadn't even thought about it. I put an arrow right between his eyes, oh god! The arrow sank into his skull and vanished, and he didn't instantly die.

Spike squealed with alarm, but didn't seem to be hurt. "Warn a guy, would ya?!" He had a hand over the spot he had been shot, rubbing it. "What brought that on? Rarity isn't even here." He let out a love-struck sigh, thinking of his fair unicorn lady friend.

I had to shoot someone else. It was a maddening itch. Well, there was only one other person around. I turned the bow at myself. Was this a good idea?

The bow agreed. It tingled in anticipation. Firing it was always a good idea.

But I was more than the bow. I lowered it a few inches, resisting its call. "Are you alright, Spike."

He slipped into the room and closed the door behind him. "It was just surprising, is all. I'm fine." He gave a thumbs up. "You shouldn't point that at anypony you don't plan to shoot, uh, like yourself?"

I dropped the bow, or so was the idea. It was still drawn tight. The arrow fired from the falling bow and poked me right in the belly. I let out a deep grunt as it faded away.

"Oh..." Spike took a step back and ran right into the door he had finished closing. "Look, uh, I don't..." His eyes glassed over and he sagged, a feeling I could imitate easily. "Oh..."

We were in thrall, but we still needed a little nudge. "Spike."

"Yeah?"

"I worry about you. You're a good person."

"Oh, uh, thanks." He rubbed behind his head. "I admit, I was worried a moment, uh, you know... I'm a taken dragon, besides, you're, uh, not a mare, uh, right now..."

"Taken? You have a girlfriend?" My ears perked right up. "That's great news."

He smiled, but it fell almost as quickly. "Well, you... know... it's... I mean... I'm still trying to woo her. She's a high class lady. She needs proper wooing first."

Oh, Rarity. "Maybe I could help." Oh god, what was I saying?! "I know a thing or two about dating." Arg! Maybe I had more experience than him, but still!

"Wow, would you?" He looked so happy then. "I want to sweep her right off her hooves!"

"Well, what have you tried so far?"

Spike tapped at his cheek before he took a step forward, same finger thrust in the air. "I've always been available to help her and show how awesome I am."

"That's good, but not specifically romantic." I tilted my head at him. "Have you given her some poetry about how you feel, or some flowers and told her you love her?"

He went darker than ever before I had seen him. "N-no!" He could not lie, in this conversation we were having. "I'm g... go..." He was trying to lie.

"Spike, you have to be direct. Tell her. She either accepts it, and you get what you want, or she spurns it, and you will hurt, but you can move on. This halfway thing is just setting yourself up for that hurt to be worse and worse the longer it goes." I closed the distance and put a hoof on his shoulder. "If she turned you down, her loss, but you deserve the truth."

"That's easier said than done! I mean, she's Rarity! She's the most enchanting unicorn ever... She has stallions drooling over her every day..."

"Which is why just being helpful isn't going to cut it." I plopped down on my haunches in front of him. "She can get a helpful stallion whenever she wants. What makes you stand out?"

"My... awesome physique?" He flexed for me. It was adorable, and sad.

"Spike, as someone who is a, you know, mare most of the time, no. Just, no. I care about you, I really do, but no. You may grow into a huge and fearsome dragon some day, but you are not there yet. Muscles will not bring the ladies calling. What else do you have? Besides, she's a classy lady. Would she ever fall for someone just for their muscles?"

"I guess not." He sagged. "I don't know then. What do I have?"

I put a hoof on his chest. "You have you. That will be enough, or not, but you have to believe you are enough first. Offer her that: not 'Spike the handydragon', not 'Spike the muscly dragon', just 'Spike, the dragon who loves you very much.' She either takes it, or doesn't, but you'll have made your honest bid."

Spike was quiet for a long moment. "What if she... says no?" His voice was so small, vulnerable. I wanted to grab the little guy up and hug him forever! "What if she doesn't even want to talk to me after that!" Tears were starting to escape his big eyes. "What if--"

So I did grab him. I grabbed him in my magic first, but that quickly moved to my arms, hugging the little reptile tight. "If she never wants to talk to you again, that makes her a crappy friend. If she says no... that's her right, and you, being a proud and noble dragon, will accept her decision, with respect."

He made the saddest little sound, so I just hugged him tighter, as if squeezing hard enough would just make the problem go away. The magic of the arrows faded away. I didn't feel compelled to speak, so I didn't. I just sat there with Spike.

He squirmed a bit and I let him hop back to the ground. "Uh... thanks?" He gave a big fake smile. "But, you know... that was just... the arrows, right?"

I frowned at that. "We may have been nudged, but we didn't lie. Spike, tell her, for better, or worse."

He wrung his claws nervously. "But I'm just... 'Spikey-Wikey'... She... I mean..."

"She will never stop thinking of you as a helpful friend and not even a potential romance if you don't force her. You owe it to yourself to just ask." I rose up to all fours. "I can't do that for you. It has to be you, Spike. You. Anyone else and she'll brush it right off and keep doing as she's doing."

"I don't want to make her, you know, uncomfortable."

My brows fell. "She's already making you quite uncomfortable. Relationships are like that. It's a saying where I come from 'The truth will set you free', but that's only half the story. I know... what you're afraid of. It may be that way. She may... turn the whole thing down, but even then, you'll be free. It will hurt... so bad, but you'll be free to grow, to open your eyes to others." I suddenly laughed. "For all you know, there's some mare giving you little eyes, wondering why you never notice, because you're focused so squarely on Rarity. Win or lose, you have to get past this. Either start building that relationship or moving on."

The image of some foal closer to Spike's age batting her lashes at him while he daydreamed of Rarity made me give a masculine chuckle. "I believe in you, Spike. I just want you to start doing that."

How did I get from existential dreadful nightmares to giving Spike relationship advice? I wasn't sure, but I preferred this to that by a large degree.

Author's Note

We interrupt this moment of terror to speak earnestly with a young dragon.

You could have your story written by joining the atreon!

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86 - Meanwhile

Of course, I was not there to see or be part of this, but I learned about it later. This is what was going on while I was playing matchmaker.

Trixie crossed her arms as she rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Twilork. Trixie swears, sometimes she wants to tweak her right on the nose until she realizes how annoying she is at times."

Starlight's chest swelled with air as she slumped down onto the desk she was seated at. "Look, let's take the positive side of this. We know Linda is alive, sorta. Worst case, she's back in Equestria."

Trixie moved her hands to her hips. "That's great for her, or him now, she supposes, but that leaves us here."

"Twilight could reach us." Starlight sat up, composure returning. "If she could reach us, we're alright... We just have to avoid doing anything... stupid."

"Trixie does not do stupid things, so we should be fine."

Starlight leveled an even glare at her friend. "I love you, Trixie, but that was a lie."

Trixie grabbed a purse that had been abandoned, Linda's purse. "She thought to grab this before everyone finished freaking out. At least we will not go hungry."

"We don't exactly have permission to be using any of that."

"Do you think Linda wants us to be destitute? Besides, if we didn't have the signal, where would we be? Trixie was entirely justified." She fished out a wallet from within the purse and flashed one of her cards at Starlight. "With this, we can get what we need."

Starlight peered at it suspiciously. "I've seen her use those before. She has to sign for them."

"So sign it with her name." Trixie shrugged. "What's the problem?"

"What if they don't beleive we are her?"

Trixie poked Starlight right in the center of her chest. "Remember what everyone has said? You look like her, could pass as her sister. If you use her identity card, who will know if we don't tell them? We won't buy anything fancy, just what we need when we need it. If we do it responsibly, then she will not complain."

A sudden noise made them both jump before they realized it was the sound of Linda's phone. They exchanged a glance, silently asking one another what to do before Trixie made the call for them and pulled out the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello," came a stern female voice, Director Swanson. "Please put Linda Frohein on the line."

Starlight's teeth clenched. "Hello, director. We can't do that right now."

"Miss Glimmer?" There was a pause. "Update me."

Trixie wriggled her fingers. "Well, she's a little..."

Starlight attempted to shove her hoof in Trixie's mouth. Alas, she had a hand, and hands in mouths felt strange on both ends, not to mention it didn't fit as perfectly as hooves tended to. She pulled her moistened hand back, grimacing in disgust with her tongue extended. "It's complicated..."

"Complication is my line of work. No editing, no revision. I need a status report. Where is Miss Frohein and what is her condition?"

Trixie smacked her lips. "You taste... interesting."

"What?" asked the voice on the phone.

"Sorry, she was speaking to Starlight. We don't know where Linda is, exactly."

"What do you know?"

Starlight took a slow breath. "She went out swimming too far, but she made it back to land, but fell unconscious on the beach, from what she told me."

"She told you that she passed out?"

Starlight put a hand to her face. "Yes, she did. Did I mention it's complicated? She's still out there, somewhere, and we don't know where."

"But she was able to inform you of this."

Trixie glared at the phone. "Didn't Starlight just say this? Why ask questions if you don't listen to the answers?"

"I called to ask her to look into something for me. Perhaps you could explain what would cause a sudden spike in equine radiation in the area?"

Starlight looked around nervously, but that was not an emotion Trixie was feeling. "Equine radiation?"

"Magic," spoke the director flatly. "There was a burst of it. I wanted her to look into it since she was there and was the most convenient contact I have in the area."

Trixie snapped her fingers. "Why didn't you say so? She imagines a pony being turned into a statue is probably a lot of magic."

Starlight grabbed the phone. "Gotta go, bye!" She hung up the phone and threw it across the room with a frustrated cry. "Trixie! You don't need to say everything that comes to your mind."

"Trixie is fairly certain she does." She rolled a hand. "Besides, is she not a figure of authority? Trixie would be making trouble if she didn't say what she knew. Didn't you ask Trixie to not make trouble? Which do you want?"

The phone rang from where it had landed on the ground. Trixie waved at it. "Well, now what do you want to do?"

Starlight bit at her bottom lip as the phone gave a second ring. With trembling fingers, she snatched the thing off the ground just as I started its third call. "Hello?"

"Miss Glimmer, please do not do that again."

Starlight sagged. "Sorry, ma'am."

"I am given to beleive that you are concerned with Miss Frohein's well-being, is this not true?"

"Yes, ma'am." Starlight glanced towards Trixie as she held the phone to her head, not sharing the call. "Look, we're doing what we can."

"On that I can verify you are incorrect. If Miss Frohein is in danger, than I need to be appraised of the situation, for her benefit. You are capable of communication with her?"

"Not exatly. She, and Twilight--"

"The princess?"

"That's the one." Starlight smiled a little. "You know her?"

"Please, continue. What can they do?"

"They can call us, like you did on the phone, only without a phone."

"And they did, not long before I called you."

"Er, yes. How did you know that?"

"We have our ways. Next time she makes contact, getting her location is our number one priority. A beach was mentioned. Were you present? Can you give me its address?"

Starlight lowered the phone slightly. "I can ask. Wait here, alright?"

She set the phone down and hurried from the room.

Trixie glanced after her friend before picking up the abandoned phone. "This is that 'Director', yes?"

"Hello, Miss Lulamoon. Imagine my surprise when I was informed one of our watchlist was put under investigation for Homeland Security violation."

"Home? Trixie was harassed at an airport, not in anyone's home." She huffed softly. "They weren't even in the right place? Incompetents!"

There was a pause. "Miss Lulamoon."

"You can call her Trixie the Great and Powerful."

"Miss Lulamoon." The voice held little humor. "Your friend, Miss Frohein, appears to be in danger. I need you to be serious."

"Trixie is entirely serious." She leaned back in her seat, a leg swinging through the air. "But there is nothing for her to do right now. Do you have a suggestion?"

"I do. You are capable of 'magic' as you call it, are you not?"

"Trixie is quite good at it." Trixie gave a prim nod as if affirming a clear fact. "What do you require?"

"Can you find Linda Frohein with it?"

"She... never learned a spell to find people, she admits." Trixie frowned at a weakness in her arcane mastery being pointed out. "She would find one, but there are no good libraries of that sort in this entire world."

Starlight suddenly snatched the phone back from Trixie, having entered moments prior, unseen by the inattentive, if great, magician. "Miss Swanson?"

"Miss Glimmer, welcome back. Did you get the address?"

Starlight named the beach. "I didn't get the address, but that's a start, I hope?"

"That's fine. We can look that up. Thank you, Miss Glimmer. With Linda out of contact, you and Miss Lulamoon are the closest operatives of any kind I have to the situation. I'm going to do what I can from here to get a thorough search of the area, but it may not be that simple. A rogue alien may be involved, and, if the patterns remain true, they are likely a magic user."

Starlight's face hardened. "You want me to look for any unicorns in the area then?"

"Exactly so. They may be acting in Linda's benefit, or not, we can't know. If they are holding her, even out of benign intent, they could be preventing her from reaching proper medical care. The people I can summon will be law enforcement and emergency medical. They don't understand you, magic, or your people at all. it would be best if they don't have to. My hunch remains just that, but time is critical. I need you back at that beach, doing what you can to help locate Miss Frohein. Do you understand me?"

"Since I have you here." Starlight plucked the card Trixie still had. "We have Linda's cards. is it alright to use them?"

There was a pause. "Did she... authorize your use of them?"

There was a dictionary wedged between the words there, and Starlight could feel their presence. "Um, yes."

"Good. Just sign with your own name. If asked, tell them that you were authorized to use the card. If they balk, then move on. Do this and you will cause less trouble."

"Right, my own name... We should get moving. She isn't going to find herself."

"While that would be ideal, it seems likely not. Good hunting, Miss Glimmer."

"Bye." Starlight pressed the hangup button and turned to Trixie. "We have to go."

"Go where? And give Trixie her card back."

"It's Linda's card." She tucked it into a breast pocket and grabbed the purse to go with it. "And we're going to search for her."

Trixie looked up as the door to their room slipped a few inches shut. "Who is spying on Trixie?" Rapid footsteps implied retreat. Trixie hopped up to her feet with agility in defiance of her rounded form. "You won't escape so easily!"

"What?" Starlight watched Trixie take off in a bolt and followed behind at a more sedate pace. "Where are you running off to?"

Trixie arrived at a closed door and raised a hand as if to bang on it, but it turned into a light knocking.

"Go away," came a male voice.

"That is no way for a fan of Trixie to speak to her. Open this door now."

Starlight arrived just in time to see Tod peeking out of his room. "Tod?"

"You're not... cosplaying, are you?" asked the teen.

Trixie put her hands on her hips. "This is not a costume. This is Trixie's astounding outfit. Now, why were you spying on Trixie, and why did you run away?"

Starlight slid in, putting up a hand in front of Trixie. "I don't think that's what he means." She gave Tod an unseasy smile. "Is it?"

"Can you find auntie Linda?"

Starlight crouched slightly. "I hope so. We're going to try."

Trixie pushed the door open with far less tact. "Tell Trixie what you mean, right now."

Tod hopped away from the door in surprise, his eyes widening a moment. "Don't curse me or anything."

"Trixie wouldn't curse a fan, but a fan doesn't keep secrets from Trixie either, so what will it be?"

He came to a quick decision. "You're not just a lady pretending to be her."

"Trixie does not need to pretend to be herself, that's silly."

Starlight gave a nervous little laugh. "Well, that much is true. Look, Tod. Linda is in trouble, and we want to help. Now isn't the time to scream or panic."

Tod gave a little nod. "I'll help."

Starlight frowned at that. "How can you help? You're just a kid."

Tod's expression darkened. "Look, this is my home town. I know how to get around better than either of you. I mean, at first it was kind of cute, but you two really don't know much."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "If you wish to be Trixie's guide, than she will accept, out of care for her fans."

Starlight's face drew into a grimace. "Trixie!"

Author's Note

Trixie sure does like to write checks without knowing her balance. This was written in an airport and on a plane. I hope it serves! :heart:

87 - Search

I emerged from Twilight's castle into the light of day. The sun felt wrong. So did the ground underneath my wrong-feeling hooves. The air was sweet, and wrong. The entire world seemed just a little off. The chirps of the birds were melodic and rang clearly. I could hear excited squeals and found the source.

It seemed to be lunch or recess at the local school. The foals were playing and frolicking joyfully. I could see the forms of many ponies enjoying the wrongness. It wasn’t wrong, of course. I knew that, intellectually. So what was off?

It was me.

I was here to stay for awhile, maybe forever. The body that is me might be dead, but me, that un-scientific definition, was right there, in the body of a pony. Twilight had conveniently vanished. Why was she avoiding letting me know?

I wanted to be sure, one way or the other, that I was living or not. That wasn’t an unreasonable request, right? Maybe she already saw… Maybe she saw my bloated corpse somewhere and was afraid I’d finish melting down if I saw it.

Maybe I would.

I had arrived in town. I could scarcely remember the walk there. I had just kept walking, one hoof in front of the other, letting my gifted body manage itself.

“Hello,” came a voice to the left of a mare. “Darling, you look quite under the weather. I know that expression.”

“Do you?” It was Rarity. She was looking at me with obvious concern. We were scarcely friends. Did I look that bad? “I’ll be alright.” I couldn’t promise that.

“You’re not fooling anypony, dear.” Her horn lit up and she gave me a tug. “This way, dear. We’re going to break that tension, and you’re going to tell me all about it, and we’ll share a good cry together.”

I blinked before starting to follow the white unicorn. “Do you offer to share tears with every stallion that looks sad?”

“Oh heavens no, but you are no ordinary stallion, are you?” She looked back over her shoulder. “I have a good feeling a proper cry is on the menu, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’ve cried pretty well today.” The argument sounded lame even as my lips formed the words. “I’m not sure it will help much.”

“That bad? Darling, that just means you need more, and a friend to share the problem with is always a plus. Maybe something sweet too. A little ice cream always helps clear my mind when things are at their worst.”

I had seen that episode; Rarity sprawled over her drama couch, sobbing wildly, stuffing herself with cartons of sweetness. I couldn’t help but smile a little at the memory. I knew more about her than she knew about me, on consideration. “Rarity.”

“Mmm?”

“May I tell you about my other self, the one that isn’t a stallion?”

“I was hoping you’d offer that.” She approached a building that advertised itself as a spa. “Today we are two mares who are going to be pampered by the two best ponies for the job in all of Ponyville.”

I could feel parts bumping around that did not belong on a mare, but I appreciated the thought. A ticklish thought grabbed me. “Rarity, if I’m… stuck here, what are the odds some magic could be used to at least let me be a woman again?”

“Woman? Oh, a mare?” Rarity gave a little shrug. “Twilight would be the expert there, darling, but I’d be surprised if she couldn’t dig something up. Let’s put that aside and start with why you feel stuck.” She walked up towards the counter where a bright pink pony waited.

“Rarity! A pleasure to see you as always.” She had an adorable little accent. “Who is this handsome stallion you have brought with you? Have you found the special one?” She was looking me up and down approvingly. "This is the second time you have brought him, isn't it?"

Rarity deflected the notion with a titter. “I should be so lucky. No, my friend here, True Shot, is in need of your services, and I plan to accompany him and continue our conversation. We have heavy things to discuss and I think your touch could help lighten it.”

With a rhythmic clop, another pony that looked like a mirrored clone of the first emerged. “Together, we will gladly help.” They introduced themselves, Aloe and Lotus were their names even if I had met one of them previously, and took us to some massage tables that appeared rigged for equine anatomy, which made sense, given what we all were.

It was not what was shown on the cartoon. We stepped up onto them, our legs snugly held. I thought it would be uncomfortable, but once I relaxed, the table supported me in all the right ways, especially after our caretakers adjusted it to match my shape perfectly.

Then the massage began. She was merciless in finding tension, and an angel at banishing them away. Her hooves felt like the softest touches despite hooves being such hard things, at least until she decided some deep tissue needed reaching, then she just reached in, or so it felt, and got to work. Every part of my body was exposed to her, despite any amount of flesh in the way.

Rarity sighed a sigh of utter contentment. “I can see it’s already working on you, darling. Now that you’re relaxing, start from the top and tell me what’s happened.”

So I did. I couldn’t figure out a reason to hide it from her. I told her about swimming, and the sea pony, and the return trip and Twilight and possibly dying on the beach. “The worst part, the absolutely worst part is just the uncertainty.”

“I should imagine…” Her words were like a gust of air. “I can scarcely think of that hovering over my head. No wonder you looked so dreadful, dear, poor thing.”

“That is an amazing story,” noted Aloe, my massage therapist. “Is it true?”

I huffed in a snort, annoyed by the question. “Would Rarity be with a liar?”

“I suppose not.” She swatted my rump, making me jump. “It is time for a steam bath. You two can continue talking there before we move on.”

Rarity trotted past me. “A curious defense, darling. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I do deal with some… interesting characters. Now were I Applejack, that statement would hold more certainty, mmm. Let’s go.”

We strode forward to speak about my human life, the one I hoped to reclaim.

Starlight gave a triumphant cry as she pressed an icon on Linda’s phone. “Found it.”

“What’d you find?” asked Tod curiously, Trixie matching the expression as both leaned in to see what she was doing.

It was the app that allowed Linda to call for a ride. “Best part, no signatures required. We can get to the beach without any hassles.” Starlight tapped furiously at it. “Tod, do you know the address of this house?”

“Sure.” He took the phone when offered and quickly entered the house’s address before passing it back. “I hope she’s alright.”

“So do I.” Starlight pressed the final button. “They’ll be here in a few minutes, let’s wait outside.”

The three left the bedroom and started for the stairs. It was smooth sailing until they reached the living room, where a few adults, including Linda’s Mother, sat. She noticed them quickly. “Where are you all going?”

Trixie gestured in a direction that likely didn’t match where they were going. “She is going to try and find Linda. Waiting will only get us so much.”

Linda’s mother looked almost guilty. “Oh… You really are good friends. Tod’s going with you? Do your parents know?”

“No, we don’t,” came another voice in the room. His father emerged into sight. “You don’t have to humor him if he insisted on coming.”

Starlight shook her head as her hands rose together. “It’s no problem. He knows the area better than either of us, and we’ll keep an eye on him.”

“And we won’t go in any water.” Trixie smiled dazzlingly.

“Yeah, don’t…”

Starlight nudged Trixie before moving for the door. “Our ride will be here in a moment. Here’s to hoping she just turns up any minute now, but we’re going to try our best.” A thought occurred to her and she lifted Linda’s phone into sight. “We have her phone, so call us on that if you need to reach any of us.”

They gave communal calls for luck and the group escaped into the front yard. Starlight pocketed the phone away. “I’m actually glad we ran into them. They’ll know where we are and how to reach us, and nobody’ll be worried about any of us.” She hiked a thumb at Tod. “Especially you.”

Their UberLyft car arrived and whisked them to the beach where it all began in short order. Starlight jumped when her borrowed phone made a loud chime after they had arrived. It was asking how their ride was. “I guess it was alright.” She pressed the three out of five star rating.

The app told her it would avoid matching her with that driver. She blinked in confusion. “I thought 3/5 was ‘okay’, not bad.”

Trixie peered over Starlight’s shoulder to see. “Humans have a strange system of ratings. He complimented Trixie’s hair. He receives 4/5 according to her. She would consider a five if he recognized Trixie.”

“Humans?” Both girls turned to look at Tod. “Right… Uh, so, here we are. How are we finding Auntie Linda?”

Trixie stuck out her tongue. “She has learned quickly and may have omitted a fact from what she told that director person.”

Starlight brightened. “I know that tone. Tell me what wonderful thing you have waiting for us.”

Trixie reached up and adjusted her pointed hat. “I may have learned a trick or two I said I did not.” She pulled out a stone from a pocket. “Behold!”

Tod peered at it doubtfully. “It’s a rock?”

“Not any rock.” Trixie looked completely confident, arms crossed and stance sure. “This one will guide us where we need to be.”

Starlight suddenly remembered and clapped her hands. “That’s the one that’s been through Linda, isn't it?”

“Exactly, and unlike living things, it still remembers.”

Tod kept his thoughts to himself.

Starlight reached for the stone. “Fantastic! Let’s get going.”

Trixie drew it away from Starlight. “Exactly one of us is ready to do that, and that one is Trixie. Let her handle it.” She lifted the rock up and did a slow turn with it extended. It glowed faintly as she did so, becoming only faintly dimmer or brighter as she went. She homed in on the brightest direction and began to walk forward. “Linda awaits!”

Tod couldn’t remain silent and tugged lightly on Starlight’s sleeve as they went. “Mmm?” she asked. “What’s up?”

“Are you a pony? I mean, that’s pretty cool if you are. I won’t tell anyone.”

Starlight let out a nervous little laugh. “W-what? Me? I’m pretty obviously a human. See, fingers.” She wriggled her fingers at Tod. “A complete lack of fur, no tail, no horn. No ponies here.”

“I wasn’t born yesterday.” Tod stepped up towards Trixie. “She, look. You can trust me.”

Trixie glanced to the right where Tod was walking alongside her. “What reason have you given for Trixie to have any trust in you, eavesdropper?”

Tod had the dignity to pinken at the accurate accusation. “You two were acting weird since I met you… Then Linda vanishes when she’s swimming with her.” He hiked a thumb at Starlight. “I thought maybe you knew something… And you do!” The thumb turned into a pointing at the rock Trixie was holding. “Look, I love Trixie, she’s great.”

“She is,” easily agreed Trixie. “But she thinks you are just saying that. You have not seen Trixie perform much.”

“You helped save Equestria. Isn’t that enough?”

Trixie stopped dead in her tracks. “What?”

“With Starlight.” He loooked towards her. “Is Discord here? Man, he’d fix this all in a flash!”

Starlight groaned at the idea. “Or double the problems. He’s a bit of a loose cannon. He means the best, but still…” Then she realized what she was saying. “Which I know from watching the show.”

“And not because you are pretty obviously Starlight and Trixie?” He gave Trixie a light poke on her closer arm. “Why are you fat? You weren’t fat as a pony.”

“Trixie is not fat!” She put her hands on her hips, rock pressing into her form. “She is bountifully curved in just the right way to attract the human eye.”

Tod went quiet a moment. “You’re, um, pretty.”

Trixie’s expression recovered. “She thanks you for noticing.”

Starlight stepped between them. “Enough. Fine. We are what you think we are, now kindly be quiet about it. You’ll just get Linda in more trouble. We’re here to find her, right?”

Author's Note

Written on a plane back from Bronycon. Ha-ha! The con failed to make me late on any updates. Linda and her friends make progress in their own different ways. Rarity gives comfort and guidance in one of my stories, as she has grown the habit of doing.

88 - Simple Hooves

Trixie walked with a determined stride, her stone held out in front of her. "Trixie cannot wait to find this other and then she will best them in a display of magic."

Starlight hiked a brow as she followed along. "Why are you assuming they will be hostile?"

"They have Linda." Trixie shrugged. "How friendly can they be?"

Tod hopped up onto a guard rail they were going past and walked along it. "Maybe they're taking care of her? Also, other what?"

Starlight spoke through clenched teeth, "other unicorn, of course."

"Oh." Tod hopped down, sneakers striking the dirt of the path they were walking along. "Are they hiding as people too then?"

Starlight wobbled a hand. "Maybe? They've hidden this long."

"Do you miss being a pony?"

Trixie grunted at that. "Don't even get her started. She is looking forward to stretching her legs, all four of them. How do humans even make it through a day without a tail? It is beyond Trixie's understanding."

Tod got a lopsided grin as he considered it. "What's it like, you know, having a tail?"

Trixie glanced aside at him before returning her attention to her tracking efforts. "Trixie could not have said before, until she didn't have one. It is a comforting presence. Trixie feels like she is being an... like she has no expression, or at least only half of one. She can smile and frown and these fingers are not bad at it, but they are not what she is used to."

Starlight lifted her hands in a grand shrug. "I hear you there, Trix. Always wearing clothes? That might work for some ponies, but it was never my style. Always rubbing and touching, ugh."

Perhaps Tod took a moment to consider the two of them without clothes, because he began to blush a little as he went quiet.

"Time to get off the path." Trixie's rock was pointing left right off of it. "She will lead the way." She stepped off into the underbrush with the other two following behind. "Trixie will admit, she thought of this from Twilight's work. The link between things is a powerful thing, is it not."

"Don't sell yourself short." Starlight put a hand on Trixie's shoulder. "This is just what we needed, when we needed it."

Tod hustled to be just beside them. "Is Twilight here too?"

Trixie glanced aside at Tod, suspicion in her glare. "Why?"

"Just curious!" He held up his hands placatingly. "You're a better wizard anyway."

Trixie's expression lightened into joy. "You are more perceptive than Trixie had originally thought. Mayhaps once this is finished she can show you some real magic."

Starlight waved a hand between the two. "Let's not get to counting our chickens before we even have the eggs, alright? Trixie, can you tell how close we are?"

"It can't be far. She took one more long step and stopped. She circled around and came back a little step before she lowered the stone towards the ground. "Here? Trixie is confused..."

Starlight frowned at the spot in the ground. "Is she buried, or is that rock of yours broken?"

Tod looked around at the thick gathering of trees that surrounded them. "She's down, you think?"

"Trixie is certain of it." She pocketed the rock and pointed at the same place. "That way, that's where she is."

Starlight dropped to a crouch before hitting the ground on all fours and patting at the ground in a searching pattern. "Well, either there's some way in there, or we have to get digging, which is it going to be? It looks like normal grass and stuff to me."

Tod shuddered from top to bottom. "Look, if we dig and find, you know, her dead body or something, I'm not afraid to say I will scream like a little girl."

Trixie lifted her shoulders. "We cannot help Linda if we don't find her. One way or the other, we will find her. Trixie does not fail to do what she sets out to do." She huffed softly, crossing her arms. "So you'd better start digging."

"You're not?" Tod looked at the ground skeptically. "I didn't bring a shovel.

"Fortunately for you, Trixie is a master of transmutations!" She waved at a long stick that became a shovel with a sparkle of magic. "Ta da!"

A new female voice spoke, "What are you?" All three spun towards it to see the furry snout of a pony peeking out from some bushes. The same snout retreated quickly on their quick motion. "Stay back!"

Starlight smiled a gentle expression at the new pony. "Relax, we're not here to hurt you, just find and help our friend. You've seen her, right? This tall--" she held up a hand even with her own head, the two about the same height. "We look like sisters."

"Are you sisters?" The snout emerged a few inches. "How did you do that magic? Only unicorns can do that kind of magic." The pony had a reddish/brown coat and her eyes were large and emerald.

Tod was barely breathing. He probably wanted to rush the actual pony, but, to his credit, he controlled that urge.

Trixie glanced left and right before she leaned in and tipped her hat just so, revealing her horn. "To start, she is a unicorn."

Tod squeaked, but managed to keep himself mostly quiet.

The pony sagged. "Oh... Oh! Wait, does that mean you know how to escape?"

"Escape?"

Starlight shook her head. "She means getting home, to Equestria. That's a project in progress. Come on out of there, we're all friends here."

The mare's nose danced softly before she took an uncertain step forward. With her head clear of the bushes, it was obvious she was no unicorn. No horn hid in her blue-ish mane. "I... have your friend. I'm trying to take care of her."

Tod lit up. "You have Linda? She's alright?"

"N-no." She shrank back. "I'm doing what I can, but she's badly hurt."

Trixie spread her hands in a grand gesture. "Then bring her to us. We'll take care of her."

Starlight nodded quickly. "Please, and thank you for keeping her safe."

Her ears pinned against her head. "I shouldn't have even moved her as far as I did. I don't... think it was best, but leaving her on the beach seemed worse. I don't want to move her, at all. I... can show you how to get in, but it's barely big enough to squeeze her in, flat. You won't fit, not as whatever you are."

Trixie suddenly fell forward, hitting the ground on four hooves, her tail giving a strong swish. "Trixie is fine going like this." She squirmed free of her human clothes, though her cape and hat remained.

Starlight glanced aside at Tod. "Are you willing to keep watch up here?"

"Can't I go with you?"

"Not like that you can't. She just said so."

"If you can go human, can't you make me go pony?"

Starlight considered things to argue, but Tod looked quite eager to go. "Don't... tell Linda, alright?"

"Alright! I mean, not like she'll be listening right now. Make me an awesome pony, with wings and a horn!"

Trixie burst into musical laughter. "Already eager to be a princess? You pick one tribe and you enjoy it. It's more than you had before anyway."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Tricks is right. Pick one or I'll pick one for you."

"Pegasus."

"Nope." Starlight fell to all fours, squirming free of her clothes in her original form. "Last thing we need is a kid deciding he really wants to fly right now. Trix, do it."

Trixie gave a giddy giggle. "Thank you for letting her have the pleasure." Her horn began to glow brightly and engulfed Tod. The teen fell to the ground with a startled bit of pain. "Relax. It hurts less if you just go with it. Trixie has this under control."

Tod vanished into his clothes as Trixie watched him. "She has a clear image in her head. He will become a fine little stallion." Trixie advanced on the lump of clothing and smiled. "Behold! Tod, the pony!" She helped extract him, producing a lanky pony in the years between foalhood and adulthood.

"I..." He reached up a hoof and stopped, peering at it. "Oh, right..." His tail gave a twitch and that distracted him, making him curl up on himself to see it. "I'm yellow? Orange tail? Am I a unicorn? How do I do magic?!" He reached up as he had meant to start, poking around on his head.

Starlight shook her head. "Looks like Trixie made an earth pony out of you. There's no time to teach you how to do magic anyway." She turned towards the new mare. "I'm Starlight Glimmer, this is--"

"--Trixie Lulamoon." The mare was smiling a little. "I saw her perform once."

Trixie looked quite pleased at being recognized. "What magnificent performance did you have the luck of seeing?"

"I was on vacation to Las Pegasus. You were quite a sight. If I'd known it was you, I wouldn't have been so scared."

Trixie's ego inflated with every word. "Well, you do now. She will take care of everything!"

Starlight rolled her eyes as she approached. "She means we will take care of things. Let's get going. The sooner we can get our hooves on Linda, the better. Humans have a strange way of doing everything, but they know their emergency medicine. We have to get her to them as quickly as possible."

Tod staggered after the others, getting used to having hooves and how to move them properly. "I'm a pony," he said to himself as he went, as if amused by the very idea of it. Could one blame him? I was pretty amazed the first time myself.

"But.... moving her?"

Starlight and Trixie shared a glance before Trixie cleared her throat. "You are now in the presence of two of Equestria's greatest spellcasters! We can move her without harm, we assure. Simply lead the way."

"Well... alright. I'm Night Star, nice to meet you all."

"I'm Tod, and I'm a pony!"

"Yes you are," she agreed with a raised brow before turning away to retreat into the bushes she had emerged from. She led the way to a small hole that looked like a narrow fit even for a pony and began squirming inside.

Starlight took her turn next. "How did you get Linda in here? Especially if she's hurt so badly?"

Night's ears fell limply. "I did the best I could... I saw her there... she was really bad... I nursed her." She pointed back at her cutie mark that showed a few stars with hearts scattered. "I was a nurse to start.... Back in Equestria, I was Night Heart. It... doesn't feel right to have that name, not here..."

Trixie squirmed in after Starlight. "All she can see is Starlight's tail."

Tod likely had a similar view, but had fewer complaints.

After wriggling forward, all the ponies popped out into a slightly more spacious little cavern where I rested. It was like a coffin of dirt, with a human laying there, looking half dead.

Night trotted to my side and leaned in, ear perked. "Still breathing... that's good... I've done what I can. I... keep her warm and safe... I feed her what I can... She's..."

Starlight strode in towards me. "She is a mess, but she is alive. We can fix this."

"Do you know a healing spell?"

Starlight raised her brows in unison. "You really are desperate. You know there's no spell for that."

Night sagged. "I can hope... What do you plan to do?"

Trixie stood as tall as she could in the confined space. "First, we get her out of here. We appreciate your assistance, but she isn't going to get much better in here."

Starlight nodded in agreement, but Tod moved in and let out a gasp. "Is she alright?!" He was at her side in a flash, tripping over himself to get there. "Fucking hell, she looks bad."

Starlight's eyes half-lidded. "I would say 'no, she is not 'alright'.' Let's get to work."

Author's Note

We found a Linda, and a new pony. We're all ponies! Except Linda... sorta?

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89 - Emergency Recall

A faint musical beat made all the ponies present perk their ears. Tod shook his head quickly. "That's my phone. I left it outside."

Starlight sighed as she turned to my unconscious form. "Let's focus on the present. We'll be making a phone call soon, but now is not it. Trixie, time for some precision magic."

"I can do precise." Trixie gave a prim nod as she circled around be to be opposite of Starlight. "Where are we sending her?"

"One step at a time. Let's just get her on the ground just above us, nothing fancy. We can move from there." Starlight reached out and set a hoof just barely on my chest. "We're on the case."

Night crept towards the exit of the cave. "I'll wait above and let you know if everything works right, or not."

Tod was after her quickly. "I'll help," he piped, though how he planned to help, I couldn't say.

Neither Starlight or Trixie stopped him. They faced each other and their horns lit up with magic. That magic wrapped around my unfeeling form in two competing colors that slowly fell into harmony, flowing smoothly around one another instead of butting and wrestling. "Just above, still laying on the ground," instructed Starlight. "Let's make this smooth."

"Trixie was born ready for smooth magic." She wore a cocky smile and sat up as tall as the limited headspace allowed. "She is ready when you are."

"On the count of three..."

"That was quite the tale, darling." Rarity walked beside me. We were both clean, groomed, and thoroughly worked over. "I can't even imagine it. The not knowing part, certainly the worst. I mean, one way or the other, you could do something, but right here, in the center." She tapped a chin as her eyes wandered over the city. "I'm afraid this goes beyond my usual means of coping, so I'll just ask: What is it you'd like to do?"

I felt air escaping my lips in a silent sigh. "Rarity, I appreciate it, I do! That was nice, what we just had, but your company was especially comforting. Thank you, for letting me just be... me, whatever 'me' happens to be, which even I'm not sure of right now. Right now, I'm True Shot." I nodded with building certainty. "Right now. I may not be in the future, or I might just snap out of it right--"

"--Darling..." She pointed down at my hooves with a trembling limb.

I looked down and saw stone running up rapidly along my legs and tensed. "Am I waking up?! Did I finish dying?!" My heart thundered violently in my chest. I was facing possible death and I was freaking out. "What's going on?!" I mean, what was I hoping? Rarity couldn't know, but that didn't stop me from freaking out.

The stone's progress cared little for my worry. The beating of my heart suddenly died in my ears as my chest was cast in stone. "Help me," I got out in a pathetic mewl before I was completely taken.

My form vanished under the combined efforts of Trixie and Starlight. In front of Night and Tod's eager eyes, I appeared. I was not placed gently on the ground as planned. I was an inch above it. Gravity was not to be denied, and soon that inch vanished. My form limply hit the ground, going somewhere between a mile an hour or two. Were I healthy, it would have been reason to go 'Oof' and little more.

Tender systems protested the treatment as loudly as they could. I was dragged free of the pony world. I was awake, if only barely. Everything was dark. I still couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't talk. It was that nightmare all over again. There was a vital difference. I could hear, and there were things to hear.

I heard two sets of hooves approach. Hooves were good, right? I tried to hold onto that idea. Hooves were good. If there were hooves, I couldn't be in that bad of a place.

"Aw man, Linnie..." Was that Tod? Why did I hear hooves and then Tod?

I felt something furry nudge at one of my arms. I wanted to react. I must have, because I heard a gasp, a female gasp. "She's alive," spoke a new voice. "Thank Celestia. This is more movement than I've--"

I didn't hear the rest of it. As the aches and pains of the small drop began to level out, my mind sank back into the dark depths. My body was not ready to have a mind occupying it just yet, so it tucked me in to rest, and I was gone.

While I might have gone away, my body was still there. Night carefully arranged me into a more comfortable position as Trixie and Starlight emerged from the hole and trotted over to rejoin them. Tod wheeled on them with the biggest, possibly cutest, when I imagine what an angry pouty little stallion-colt would look like, face. "You were supposed to do it gently!"

Starlight strode right past him, towards Night. "How is she?"

Tod only became more angry for being ignored, but faced Trixie instead of Starlight. "What happened?!"

Trixie held up a hoof at him. "We did the best we could. Trixie is certain she did her part perfectly." She flipped her hair. "Regardless, the task is complete. Linda is here. We need only signal for help and see that she is picked up by proper human doctors and we've done what we set out to do."

Night waved at her. "She received a shock from being dropped. Thankfully it was... a relatively minor one, and she's already passed out. I hope it wasn't overly painful for her. I don't have anesthetics on me... How do we get help?"

Starlight turned to where she had left her clothes. "I have that one handled. She plucked out my phone from her pocket and pulled it through the air over to herself. "Ta da! With this, we can call anyone we want and talk to them as if they were standing right next to us. No magic, pfft, humans are crazy."

Tod noticed what Starlight was doing and perked an ear at her. "Do you even know the right number to call?"

"Wouldn't it be in her..." She began scrolling wildly through my contacts. Strangely, I had none called 'Doctor' or 'Hospital' I didn't often need to talk with either such entity. "Huh..."

Tod rolled his eyes. "Good thing you brought me." He marched right up to the floating phone and... "I don't have fingers..." Not that he didn't try to work it with his new hooves, but the touch screen proved quite awkward to work with them. "Alright, fine, just click that." He pointed to the dialer. "Now 9. 1. 1. Then this." He pointed to the green call button. "Let me do the talking."

Starlight did as she was bid, calling emergency services. "I hope you know what you're doing." Still, she had enough trust to go that far, and go quiet.

"911. What is your emergency?" asked a male voice from the phone.

"Hello. I found my aunt and she's unconscious and looking really bad. I'm calling on her phone. Can you please send help?"

"Stay calm, I'll send help right away. Can you tell me where you are?"

Tod listed the beach they had started from. "But we've walked a good way away from that. We're in some trees. I think she needs an ambulance really bad. She's pale. Breathing, had a pulse, but not good, please."

"We'll be there as soon as we can. Please stay on the line until emergency technicians arrive. Is she having any trouble breathing? Is she bleeding?"

Tod looked me over quickly. "We've bandaged up the bleeding, so she isn't anymore, but she was." He looked at the other ponies for help, but they just kinda shrugged.

Night stepped forward. "Excuse me, I'm a trained nurse."

"That's great," said the operator with obvious relief. "Can you give me a full report on her condition? Is she stable?"

Night began speaking in the language that mostly only other medical professionals know. "She is stable," was the one part that was obvious and important. "She is still in dire condition."

"I'm glad you're there. Kid?"

"My name's Tod."

"Hello, Tod. Your aunt will be just fine. You're in luck, having a nurse on the scene so quickly. ETA is four minutes. Just stay calm, keep her warm and stationary, and we'll get her to a hospital for treatment."

"Thanks..." He backpedaled away from the phone. "We can't say hello to them as a bunch of ponies," he whispered harshly at the others. "I mean, I wouldn't mind showing this off to some people, but random ambulance drivers, nah."

Trixie cancelled her spell with barely a flash. Tod was suddenly a boy, his fur falling out and fingers returning. He was a teen on all fours, rapidly turning red. "Give me a warning!" He scrambled for his clothes and struggled to get them back on as quickly as possible.

"Is everything alright?" asked the operator on the phone.

Trixie, stifling her giggles, nodded at the phone even if it wasn't watching her. "Oh, yes, everything is under control."

Night took the phone from the air, held in her hooves as she circled me and sat down with it. "I'm here and will stay with you until help arrives."

With the phone out of easy listening distance, Trixie and Starlight nodded to one another before they began to work their magic, becoming their more rounded human forms under the glittering blanket of their arcane power. Poor Tod got a fresh round of blushing as he witnesses two naked and attractive females come into being. Then again, maybe poor is the wrong word to use. He was a teenaged male. He might have liked the show, but he had the decency to spin around and face the other way until Starlight put a hand on his shoulder and told him it was alright.

He turned back around, nervously chuckling. "Alright, so... about her?" He hiked a thumb at the earth pony that remained. "She can't just... you know."

Trixie shrugged her shoulders. "Well, since only one of us has the common sense to keep her horn, that falls on Trixie to make happen." She wriggled her fingers. "Behold!"

"Wait!" Starlight's cry went unheard as Trixie worked her magic over Night. Night, not expecting it, gave quite a squeal as her body began moving in ways she had never known before. It was slow and painful as Night struggled against it, bones popping one by one as if they were made of stubborn legos instead of the smooth transitions that had happened when the target knew what was going on and at least tried to relax through it.

Night was, at the end, sprawled across the ground, crying softly. She was also human, but she was far from a happy one.

"What's going on?" asked the operator who likely heard the most terrifying things over the line. "Anyone there?"

"Jesus fucking christ..." Tod moved to snatch the phone off the ground. "Everything's alright, mostly."

"Hello, Tod. Can you put the nurse back on the line? Is she alright?"

Tod glanced at the shivering and disheveled form of Night. "She needs a bit of a break... How can I help?"

Starlight shot her friend a glare before sinking down beside Night. "I'm sorry about that. We need to get you dressed. Humans get very particular about naked humans for whatever reason."

Night pushed up, laying on her side, propped up on an elbow and breathing heavily. "Never... ever do that again..." Her eyes fell towards the arm that was propping her up and she rolled up into a position more similar to a pony on their haunches than a human sitting down. "Oh... You really did it." She lifted a hand and turned it slowly in the air, her fingers curling and uncurling a little spastically. "Unicorns are terrifying at times..."

Author's Note

I think we're sliding in towards a resolution here, no?

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90 - Angels of Mercy

By the time the ambulance came, Night had been dressed as a human nurse. She rose to meet the men that were rushing towards the scene. She stood firmly with a smile. "Gentleponies, over here!" She waved them closer.

Starlight nudged her new friend. "Nix the 'pony' part."

Fortunately, the emergency responders seemed far more interested in the unconscious form on the ground rather than any odd verbal ticks. They had me up on a gurney in a flash. One of them ran off with me while the other spoke to the others, "We'll have her in proper care in a flash." He gave the address of the hospital. "You can meet us there. Everyone else alright?"

Tod looked after my retreating form. "We're alright, just make sure she's taken care of."

"You got it." And off he went, hopping into the ambulance moments before it sped off with me aboard.

"Jesus fricken Christ!" I was in stone, shouting through it.

"Darling?"

I shook free of the stone to see that I was in Rarity's boutique. Her magic reached to start plucking stone away from me and tossing it aside. "Dear, welcome back." She smiled radiantly. "I thought... well, no matter. I've never been happier to be wrong before. That was a very short nap, do you know what happened?"

"I'm alive!" I pounced her. I hugged her so very tightly. "I'm alive!" Little else mattered more than that for a moment before it clicked. "And Tod is so much in trouble."

"Tod?" Rarity pat my back lightly. "Darling, a little room please. I'm quite happy to hear that, don't get me wrong. Just to make sure, do you mean you've learned something new, or are we happy that you're here, right now?"

I released the poor mare and stood up. "Both? Both is good... I think things will be just fine, back there, and I'm here. I'll be able to go home soon, relatively."

Rarity rolled a hoof. "This is good, but you have some questions to answer now."

My ears lifted almost on their own. "Mm?"

"Personal ones." She had a mother's smile. "This could happen again. Why, it could happen either way, come to think of it. You have two very nice lives. With luck, the end of one just means you're down to one nice life." Her eyes roamed over my form. "But will you be ready to move forward, should you have to?"

"You're not wrong." I lifted a hoof at her. "That doesn't make that something I want to deal with right this moment. On this side, I've started making friends, but I have no outright obligations just yet. If I just up and vanished, Equestria would keep right on going with barely a notice."

Rarity shook her head. "By that metric, few of us really have much to worry about. Unless it's a princess we're talking about, the world is going to keep going, with or without us. It managed before us, it'll manage after us, I suppose." She flipped her mane as she turned away. "That feels like a cheap answer, in the end. It's not about the world. It's about those friends you've already admitted to having. It's about the small things. Why... you've already started making those kinds of little changes in people's lives that don't feel little, to them."

I followed after Rarity, my eyes lingering on her offered rump. Why did ponies have to be so naked all the time? "Are you? One of those friends, that is."

She spun around to face me. "Darling, I do not do afternoon crying sessions with random strangers. That would be a curious habit indeed. There's much about you I don't know, but that's just another facet of life." She suddenly burst into musical laughter. "Why, I didn't even know Twilight had a brother for months after meeting her. Poof, just like that, invited to the mystery stallion's wedding. Friendship does that. I wouldn't mind learning more about you, and it will come in time."

"That's obvious on reflection." I sat down in front of her, keeping her eyes easily. One advantage of being a pony, sitting didn't really change where your head was until you laid down. "I'm a little frazzled, but... compared to before, so much better... I should see about those friends, starting with Celestia. She must be worried."

Rarity's face erupted into a radiant smile. "I was hoping you'd say that." Her hooves shooed me away. "Go to Twilight and she'll get you on your way, lovercolt. Give her a big hug for me, and maybe a kiss, but don't tell her I said to."

I put Rarity squarely in the 'good pony' column mentally as I stood up. "I'm on the way. Thank you, again. You've been great." I fled from her shop, hooves thundering on the dirt in my wild gallop. I had a place I wanted to be.

"I've decided." All eyes turned towards Night. "I'm Night Heart."

Tod gave a single clap. "That's good... Uh, so, those clothes?"

"Magic," confirmed Trixie. "We should get her some real clothes."

Starlight flipped out my card, the little minx. "Fortunately, we have this. Before that, Tod?"

"Yeah?"

"Call home, tell them Linda's alright, on the way to the hospital, the full report."

"On it." He fished out his phone and got to calling. "Dad? I'm fine. Oh, sorry, I was away from my ph--Dad... Dad... Linda's alright, dad! Yeah, we found her. She's on the way to the hospital right now. No I'm not joking around. Seriously, about that? Yeah, they're here." He held out the phone. "He wants to talk to Starlight."

Trixie huffed with building indignance. "Why would he not request Trixie?"

Starlight rolled her eyes as she took the phone from Tod. "Thank you. Hello?"

"Starlight? What's going on? Is Linda really alright?" His voice was tense with worry with a hint of hope. "Are you all safe?"

"We're fine, promise." Starlight waved a hand through the air despite it not being seen. "Actually, while I have you on the line, we've picked up... a bit of a new friend. Is it alright if she stays in our room until we get things straightened out?"

"A new, what? That's not really my call. This isn't my house. Look, you're sure Linda is alright?"

"Absolutely. She was just carried off in an ambulance. She's in rough shape, but she'll be fine."

"God... What happened?"

Starlight's eyes half-lidded. "I'll be glad to give everyone an update, at once, so I'm not repeating the story a thousand times. For now, we have to take care of a few things, but do tell everyone that it worked out. Tragedy averted."

"Linda's safe!" came an excited cry through the phone, forcing Starlight to wrench it away from her ear a moment. "Thanks, really, all of you. Can you put Tod back on?"

Tod accepted the phone when offered. "Yeah? Uh huh." He gave the address of the hospital. "I'll stay with Linda's friends. Uh huh... See you later, Dad." He pressed the hang up and slipped the phone away. "Alright, that's taken care of."

Starlight fussed with my phone, pulling up the ride summoning app. "Let's get to a clothing store and get Night Heart properly outfitted for surviving the human world."

Tod slid over beside her. "So, what's it like?"

"Being human?" She tilted her head at him. "It feels very strange. I keep thinking I'm about to fall over." She looked down towards her feet. "How do you balance on these, and only two of them? The wind feels really cold against my skin. Humans have that naked thing down better than a pony ever would." She smiled at Tod, her hands clasping together. "But you know that. You're a human too. Was it like that too, your first time?"

Tod looked at her blankly a moment before it struck. "Oh! I'm not a pony. I mean, that was pretty cool, but nah, this is the real me." He waved a hand over himself. "Nice to meet you, Night Heart, right?"

Night took a little step back. "You're... a human?"

Starlight waved at Tod. "He's on our side, don't worry. He was human along with the rest of us when you first found us."

"Well, yes, but then you all became ponies and I just thought..." She let out a little sigh. "I was making assumptions. I'm sorry. Tod, nice to meet you." She offered a half-curled hand towards him as if unsure what to do.

Tod balled a hand into a fist and bumped it gently against hers. "As cool as wearing a magic outfit is, we should fix that."

Trixie rolled her eyes, arms crossed. "Yes, we should. Trixie is being forced to hold several spells up at once and that is tiring, even for one as Great and Powerful as she is. One less would be appreciated."

Starlight pointed as she began to walk. "The car will meet us here, then we'll start getting this handled. Onwards!"

Tod shook his head as he followed. "Going clothes shopping with a bunch of girls, and I'm entirely alright with this."

Twilight perked up on my arrival. "True, good to see you. Are you... feeling any better?"

"Yes. How do I get back to Canterlot?" I looked off in the direction I thought it was. "Celestia knows things are wrong, right?"

"She does." Twilight's wings fidgeted a moment before she spread them wide. "Sit down, close your eyes, and let me handle this." She trotted over to my side. "You're a large passenger, but I should be able to handle this just fine."

I closed my eyes. "I trust you, but what are we doing?"

"As complex as transportation between worlds can be, within the same world, especially to places you're familiar with, it isn't nearly as difficult." I felt one of her wings wrap around me. "So we'll be in Canterlot in just--" I felt a static jolt and the scent of ozone filled my nose a moment. "--a moment. You can open your eyes now."

I did so and found we were in one of Celestia's waiting rooms. There was no food on the table as there usually was. They must not have been expecting us to just pop into existence, how thoughtless of them. "You are a miracle worker, Twilight."

Twilight colored faintly. "I've practiced that one. You go talk to Celestia, I have other things to do." She raised a hoof in a salute of sorts before she vanished in a shower of sparkles back to where she had come from.

"If they can do that, why bother with the trains?" I pushed open the door out into the hallway and encountered a guard.

He looked surprised to see me there. "Oh! Sir Shot, a pleasure to see you."

I nodded at him. "Nice to see you too. Do you know where C--Princess Celestia is at the moment? I have an update for her."

"She's in the western garden." He pointed the way. "She should be available for the next forty minutes."

That was delightfully specific. "Thank you for keeping such good track. She must appreciate it."

He gave a firm nod. "Always a pleasure to serve her. If only we could do more to ease her burdens. Enjoy your meeting, Sir Shot."

I trotted purposefully through the winding halls of the castle. I didn't know my way, specifically, and just tried to keep oriented with the direction I had been pointed in.

It worked, sort of. I started hitting dead ends and began testing doors. I discovered a bathroom, a training area, and several libraries. Annoyed, I willed the next door open perhaps a bit roughly. It banged against the opposing wall, startling the poor pony inside what seemed to be another library.

"True?" The large mare turned. I had found a princess, but it was the wrong one. "True Shot, good to see you." She rose up to her hooves. "We have things to discuss."

Author's Note

The plot proceeds! Clothing, lunar meetings, family updates!

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91 - By the Night

Luna extended a wing towards a cushion near herself. "Come, join me. I have heard worrying tales of your well-being. Perhaps you could dispel them, or at least explain them."

I hesitated only a moment before I moved to join her. I wanted to find Celestia, but brushing Luna off to do that seemed like entirely the wrong way to do it. "That's why I'm here, to catch everyone up. I imagine Celestia also wants to know?"

"She... is preoccupied." Her tongue wove deceit poorly. "We can speak, pony to pony." She nodded at me as her eyes roamed over my form. "I am aware you are not always as such, but that may have changed? You would be welcome here, should you choose, or must, remain. It would be most unbecoming of us to not offer as much, considering how faithfully you have served our cause thus far."

"I don't think I will be stuck." I noticed the table in there was not bare of food like the one I had teleported into and willed a large apple over to take a crunch out of it. Mmm, pony food is good food. "Not today. I was found, on the other side. I think I'll be fine, after whatever is needed to get my body back in order." I paused then, the words I had just spoken echoing back to me internally. My body, not 'me'. Well, I did have two of those, bodies that is. I was 'me' in either of them, right?

Luna extended a wing around, brushing my side gently. "I know this sounds difficult to accept, but what you are feeling... I have experienced before. The sensation of waiting to have my life. Of not being truly... alive. To wait to breathe is a terrible thing." Her lips gave the faintest smile. "Though I suppose that to be banished to the moon is not as distant as you, traveler from another place entire. Tell me, do you favor Equestria?"

"It is a good place." I nodded at her as I took another bite of the crunchy apple, savoring the juices that exploded with each munch. "Filled with good people, ruled by good people. What's the rest of your world like? Is it just as nice?"

Luna lifted her shoulders. "Would that I could claim that it were true. Some countries are marvelous places, others... are a work in progress. My sister has made it her long life's duty to make Equestria a shining example to all others. I think she hopes they will follow after the nation she has forged... Sometimes that works, often it does not." Her wing withdrew. "Tell me true, do you still fancy my sister?" I couldn't tell if she had said my name or was just speaking in that mildly odd way she did at times. "Do you still wish to be her stallion, knowing just a little more of her and her world?"

I had passed the love smote stage of any relationship. "If it works out, I wouldn't be sad, but I'm not chasing her like a confused puppy. We have more than enough on both our plates to keep us busy right now."

"Too true." Luna's horn glowed as a rolled up scroll emerged from behind her. "We put out feelers to those other nations you had the good fortune of mentioning." The scroll unfurled, becoming ridiculously long. "It seems we are not alone in losing citizens, though certainly not all of these can be proven to be related to our own, there is a reasonable chance some of them could be. While sister speaks of diplomacy, I feel that is too slow and inefficient for the task at hand."

I could feel tension rising through me. Those were not calm words. "Look, we don't want to start a war--"

"--and we will not." Her face split into a calm smile. "How can there be war with an enemy that cannot hope to reach your shores? No. I suggest we end this with a great finality." She set the scroll aside in her magic and drew out a map of earth. Where had she got that from? "With one great spell, we put everypony, man, diamond dog, dragon, minotaur, and everything else where they belong."

"You could do that?" I felt stupid even saying that. They were magic horses. Who's to say what they could or could not do? "Even if you can, what about people on either side that want to be there?"

Luna brought her hooves up and clapped them together. "Any humans on this side will be given leave to come and present themselves. We can ward them from the spell. Ponies on the other side are more difficult, but, should we wrench them here and they object afterwards, we could send them back far more easily than rescuing all the others who are stuck. The needs of the many win out over their inconvenience, and that is all it would be, in the end."

That's when I saw it. I saw how we were headed towards a possible tragic ending. "And if it all just goes horribly wrong and we end up with one world instead of two? You're talking about a globally spanning spell, no, more than that! It has to go over two worlds, then just grab and swap wildly between them!" My voice was a little tense, I'm not afraid to admit. There were so many potential problems. "What if we end up with one world with everyone dumped on it together? What if we just end up shredding one, or both, worlds? How can we be remotely sure no one will be hurt or killed in this... titanic effort?"

Luna gave a slow nod, a thoughtful hmm escaping her. "We will check, double check, and double check again everything we do before we do it. The best minds in Equestria are working on it this very moment, and when they feel completely sure, only then will we proceed." She lifted an ear. "The only issue they have voiced concerns with are more mental than physical."

I felt a chill run through me. "You'll end up with more people like me."

Luna poked me right in the chest. "You were the inspiration for this spell. The way you slide back and forth with minimal energy was the key to devising such a large effect. That aside, it is just a worry that some consciousnesses might splinter, residing in both worlds much as you do. They are working to minimize and hopefully eradicate that, but you should hardly be surprised. You are not a unique being, and anything either of us does, someone else could copy."

So, there it was. They wanted to smash a big red reset button rather than slowly work through the governments of the world. "What does Celestia think of this idea?" I noticed I wasn't holding the apple anymore. I had eaten the entire thing. Oops. "Which side of the divide will I end up on?"

Luna let out a slow breath. "You haven't pieced it together? I thought you were a learned person, True Shot."

A challenge? I frowned at her. It was no time for... oh. "Shit." She nodded at my cuss. "You won't let people be split."

Luna sat up. "How can we? If we permit it, the humans will find a way to us. They have shown they are clever. This goes double for those they already... know." She was looking at me quite pointedly. "You will need to pick a side. I hate to use tired lines, but you're with us, or against us, and never has that been more true. Even should you try to be neutral in this, you will be used by your own people to get to us, eventually."

Night's eyes were wide as she did slow circles, almost toppling in the process. "It's so large, and full, and..."

Trixie put a supporting hand on her shoulder. "They have very complete clothing stores." They had found their way to the nearest, largest, clothing store. While people milled around them, ignoring them, Trixie pressed in close to Night. "Isn't it exciting? We will make you into a new you. It's like magic, with less... magic."

Tod came jogging up with a long flexible ruler. "I asked them for something to get her measurements."

Starlight accepted the tool. "Very nice. Stand still, Night, and we'll find out what sizes Trixie gave to you. You don't look like a Linda Sister."

Trixie rolled her eyes at that. "As if Trixie would be so boring as to keep doing the same thing over and over again. She made a pretty one. Not as pretty as Trixie, of course, but serviceable."

Night smiled awkwardly at Trixie as she spread her arms and tried to stay still for Starlight's measurements. "Thanks, I think... Am I... pretty?"

Tod turned away suddenly, which only got a laugh out of Trixie. "That means 'Yes, but I am way too scared to say it.'" She slapped Tod on the back. "You aren't going to have much luck if you're afraid to speak your mind."

He whirled on her. "I was taught to--"

Trixie put a finger on his lips. "You were taught wrong." She leaned in, voice lowering, "If a mare asks if she is pretty, the only answer is 'yes'. You can consider other ways of saying it, but this is a fact, if you wish to live a long and happy life."

He went pink and took a halfstep away. "Well, you're pretty."

Trixie flashed a bright smile. "You have mentioned this before, but you are free to say it as often as you wish."

Starlight pressed the limp ruler against various parts of Night, getting her measurements. "Trixie is stuck on big..." She rolled her eyes. "At least she put it in more strategic places this time."

"Mm?" Night's eyes followed Starlight as best she could while keeping still. "Did she do it wrong?"

"Oh, no. You're just heavy here." Starlight gave Night's chest a little poke. "Not to mention the other end. You are very attractive, at least if the magazines we've seen are a measure, which I'm certain is what Trixie used." She wrapped the ruler around Night's chest, getting her bust measurement. "Yep... Alright. I have all I need to get you into something. This way." She took Night's hand and led her towards the women's department.

Trixie noticed them leaving and she and Tod hurried to catch up. "She suggests something bright to highlight things."

Starlight paused and looked back at Trixie. "Are you giving fashion advice?"

"And what is wrong with Trixie doing that?"

"I didn't think you knew... nevermind. Alright, something bright. Why bright?"

"She has dark skin. Dark skin with bright clothing will work well." Trixie nodded with authority.

Tod glanced between Night and Trixie. "Why is... she dark?"

An annoyed grunt came from a lady standing close enough to hear Tod and she stormed away with entirely the wrong impression.

Trixie shrugged. "Everyone else here is about the same color. Trixie thought that was boring. Humans have other colors, so she gave her another color."

Night had wandered off while everyone else was talking and was running her fingers over clothes on a rack. "These look quite nice..." She pulled a bright orange suit free of the selection and held it up to herself.

Starlight moved swiftly to her side. "That looks fantastic, let's just check its measurements."

Tod got to discover that a dress was just the start, not the end of any female's wants, pony or human. Night adorned herself with bangles and bobs and once she got going, didn't stop until she had arranged a full wardrobe for herself, leaving poor Tod to carry it around the store. That part, at least, he knew well enough from sitcoms.

At least the end result was worth it. Night did a slow turn for her new friends, showing off her new form, dressed properly in cloth instead of magic. "How is it?

Author's Note

Sudden picture is sudden. Some people are having fun shopping while the fate of worlds is being discussed. Priorities!

92 - Dawn

I stood up, my face becoming a mask of composure. It was a talent one developed as a lawyer. "This is ill-advised. The potential harm is greater than the benefit, especially since the 'price' being asked for otherwise is simply patience."

Luna rose, her great wings spreading. "Patience? Has your government even begun this process? What, pray tell, are we waiting for?" She brought down a hoof with a low clop that echoed about the room. "They will not act until forced, and this does not even begin to consider all the rest of your fractured people." She stopped suddenly. "I'm getting carried away. I understand that you wish for a peaceful transition..." She glanced away from me and back. "It is not a poor ideal."

A knock from the door had us both jump and turn. It opened a moment later to reveal Celestia.

She stepped in with a mild nod. "Here you are. I was told you were coming to the garden, but it seems you were captured by my sister." She inclined her head at Luna.

I wanted to rush to her with tales of what her sister was up to, but I felt literally running screaming would be hardly ideal. "We were just talking about the whole situation." I raised a hoof and turned it palm-side up. "Slow vs fast."

Celestia perked an ear at it. "Ah, yes... I had hoped to speak to you first on that." She joined us at the table and sank onto a seat with a soft sigh. "I presume she has told you of the 'fast' way then?"

Oh. So she already knew about it. That was good, and awful, all at once. "She has, and it sounds like a thousand bad endings waiting to happen."

"Mm?" Celestia looked to her sister, sharing a look before she returned her gaze to me. "That is a curious turn of phrase. Care to explain it?"

Where to start... "My life has become very... interesting, like a story that I'm not even the star of, but a story. I've been trying to avoid bad endings as best I could, and we've tripped over a few possibles without landing in them. None of them rated quite this high." I set my hoof back on the ground and rejoined them at the table. "Look, let's assume everything works perfectly. You wrench everyone back to the world they were born on." I tapped the table. "You'll end up missing some if you go by that measurement. I find it impossible to believe no one on either side hasn't found love or what passes for it. So, alright, you don't care and just go by race, which means you wrench families apart." I spread my forehooves to emphasize the idea. "But that's their problem, right? Ponies and mythical creatures on one side, humans on the other."

Luna nodded softly. "This would be the goal, yes. We would withdraw entirely from your world, abandoning it to the wider cosmos."

Celestia perked an ear at me. "Have you found love?"

I had not been expecting that question. "I am laughably bad at that hunt, double so for having that hunt being my literal destiny in this world." I quirked a smile as my bow lifted from my side. "Just like the original, I will help countless others find what I can't find myself. That's besides the point. This isn't about me." I set the bow down on the table with a thought. "I am just one person. This is something that can... will... affect billions."

Celestia perked at my words. Any hope that I had struck the right chord faded quickly with her words. "Billions?"

Luna shook her head. "Have you not been listening to Twilight's reports? She has spoken of how dense their populations are."

Celestia paused a moment. "I... thought they covered less of their world. A single culture, with so many..."

She sounded a bit overwhelmed. I raised a hoof. "A single culture is far from the truth. We may be one species, but one culture? No. We have as many languages as ponies have colors, for one. Again, beside the point."

Luna frowned. "That is not beside the point. The longer we allow this connection to persist like this, the more risk we place all the world, our world, in. Should your people become motivated to war, it will quickly become a costly one. There will be no winners, only sorrow and loss."

Celestia sank a little under the weight of her thoughts before she sat up tall, recomposing herself. "True, you are, as ever, a clear shot in your words. Our plan is too risky."

Luna slammed her hoof on the table. "What?!"

"This mass exchange is too risky." She nodded slowly. "But keeping the connection carries equal risk. These loose threads must be severed." She looked at me intensely. "Even if we should wish to continue dealing with your people, the leaks must be stopped, immediately. No person should travel across that divide without our knowledge and control."

I grit my stallion teeth. "Are... I mean, of course you are... You're telling me to pick a side."

Celestia's lips curled into a faint smile. "I am afraid that is so. I presume you would wish to return to your home, your people, your profession. I can hardly blame you."

That would be the wisest course of action. I never claimed to be the wisest person. I didn't want to give up on the pony world. I didn't want to give up anything. I liked my life, my lives. It was selfish. There were people that would be hurt by True Shot simply ceasing to exist, and I was one of them.

"Or, perhaps, you wish to divest yourself and join us full time?" Celestia's voice was laced with hope. "You would be welcome here."

Luna rolled her eyes with a good-natured snort. "You would be welcome between the sheets of a certain diarch, if you didn't scare her."

Celestia had the decency to color faintly at that. "There are still complications there. It is your choice, True, but a choice must be made."

Luna leaned forward. "From what I have been told, this could be a simple matter. If you join us, your other side simply does not awaken. Those around her will hardly be surprised. Sad, surely, but not surprised."

Live, or die. That was the choice being given, but it was being asked twice, and saying to live in either way meant dying the other way. Damn it...

I had walked that tightrope. I had balanced my life. I had done everything right.

But it wasn't about me, was it? I quirked an ear with a new thought. "Could I be in both places, separately?" They both looked confused. "I mean, is there enough 'me' to live here, as True Shot, and to go back to being Linda Frohein, not connected. Just two people, two worlds, who shared a time together." I tried for a smile, but the expression failed to hide the sorrow in me. "Both sides would miss the other... but at least we'd know the other side wasn't erased... That would be less awful."

Celestia glanced to Luna, who nodded. "You would be diminished in part, but such could be done. You would truly be two people then, with the connection severed and no longer serving as one of many bridges between our worlds."

The princess of the sun rose to her hooves. "This is very brave of you. I will leave you in Luna's capable hooves. Linda or True, whomever I speak to next, know that I do appreciate this sacrifice... Besides--" She suddenly smiled. "--there will be more." She strode from the room, not explaining her words.

"Come, we have ponies to speak to." Luna stood up, waited for me to follow, and began leading me through the castle.

With Night Heart dressed, Starlight nodded approvingly. "Alright, let's head back."

Tod perked. "Where to?" He sounded like he was hoping for more adventure.

Starlight would have to dash those hopes. "We're heading back to the house. They must be very worried about you, and everything else."

"They won't be there." Tod shrugged emphatically. "They'll be at the hospital, trying to get word on how Linda's doing."

Trixie shrugged. "Trixie is very tired. They won't all be there, and she doesn't care if they are. She wants a nap somewhere where she can... let go."

Tod threw down his hands, open with palms showing. "That's not the house right now, with people on edge. If you're already using Linda's card, she probably won't mind if you get your own space."

Starlight didn't grasp the idea. "What, you want us to buy a house? She has that much money laying around?"

Tod looked quite amused at where Starlight's thoughts had gone. "I was talking more like renting a room in a hotel or something."

Night pulled at her clothes, fidgeting with them as her eyes roamed the strange new world she had become part of. "I'll go where you say to. I can't even pretend to know where I would go on my own, except to hide and hope for better."

Trixie yawned widely, a hand covering the gesture poorly. "Yes, hide, sleep. This is what she's saying."

Starlight submitted to the peer pressure. "Alright alright. Tod, call your parents and let them know we're alright. I don't want to add foalnapping to my list of crimes." She pressed at my phone, summoning a car to take them away to theoretical safe haven.

Tod fished out his own phone. It didn't take long before someone picked up. "Hey dad. I-- No! I'm alright. We're..." He trailed off, likely listening to his father speak. "I'm fine, promise. Oh..." He put a hand over the phone. "Hospital says Linda is still in trouble." The others made sad noises as he lifted the phone back up to his ear. "Yeah, I told them. No, I'm not doing anything that weird. They decided not to be a pain and are getting a hotel room. Yeah? Look, they're nice people, but they need someone around with a clue. Yes, they can hear me. No, I don't care that much."

Starlight snatched the phone away from Tod in a sudden motion. "Hello? Starlight here."

"Starlight, is Tod being a pain?" He sounded pained and frustrated.

Starlight smiled gently into the phone even if she couldn't be seen. "He's been a complete gentleman. He's not wrong, even if his phrasing could use help. He's helped us get around. We're keeping an eye on him too, promise."

"Look, he's my problem in the end, you don't have to babysit him."

Starlight hiked a brow. "He's not a problem. He's a good kid."

"I'm glad someone thinks so." He let out a strained laugh into the phone. "God, this is all getting to me... Please don't tell him I said any of that, he doesn't deserve that. It's me, not him. Fuck, here I am ranting to some woman I hardly know. Look... Just keep an eye on him. He's probably better off having a good time than sitting around worrying about Linda."

"We'll all try to relax for now. There's nothing to do until Linda recovers anyway." Starlight looked at Tod with new concern.

"Yeah, guess that's true... Do you have a charger for the phone?"

Starlight dug around and fished out the cord. "Right here! Linda was very clear about how important this is, besides it's just like my tablet."

"Yes... it is?" He sounded confused about something. "Look, you're Linda's friend, right?"

"Of course." Starlight turned to look down the street. "That's why we went looking for her. She's a good person, and a good friend."

"Take care of Tod for now, please. I'm in no proper state to do it right. If it gets too much, drop him off, I'll understand."

"Will do, bu-bye!" Starlight clicked the hangup before tossing the phone towards Tod. "Your father is lacking in confidence."

Author's Note

All the typos are coming home to roost it feels.

93 - Light

I was led through the hallways of the castle. I was led by serious princesses that planned to take serious measures. There was no happy ending here. It was one of many bad endings, and I was doing a terrible job of avoiding it.

I could accept it, be cut in half, and end it. I would be Linda. I would be True Shot. I would not know the other side. So far as each side would know, the other world was dead.

What if I didn't want that?

"True?" It was Celestia. "Are you well?"

No! "I'm fine." I had to think of something. If that link was so much trouble, maybe it was a tool that needed using instead of fearing.

I needed to get to the human world, to act there, try to avoid this. I'd felt that link before. Every time I started to slip from the pony world, it came onto me, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. I just had to...

Luna opened a door to somewhere I wasn't paying attention to. "Soon you will know proper peace. No more living in such an unideal fashion. Are you looking forward to enjoying full days and nights, to lay your head--True?"

Her voice was becoming distant. I heard Celestia say something excitedly, but couldn't make out the words.

I woke up.

I sat up suddenly in a hospital bed. Lethargy tugged at my motions. My body really wanted to go back to sleep, but I wasn't having it. I got out a groan and heard shoes hitting tiles.

The door to my hospital room swung open suddenly. Several doctors were swarming over me. One of them was trying to encourage me to lay back down, and that was about the last thing I wanted to do. I waved him away with a scowl. "No, I'm fine!" I wasn't fine. "Bring me my phone."

"We don't have your phone. Would a landline get you to calm down?"

Ugh. "It'll have to do." I sat back on the headboard of the bed, still sitting up. "How broken am I?"

"Now that you're awake, your prognosis is much better. We..." His voice was fading, much as Celestia's had done. I could feel it, the link. I was being pulled back.

Suddenly I was back in the hallway, my body trapped in stone save for my head. I had been forced back by being unpetrified, in part. Just as the last time, being part stone was a horrible sensation. I couldn't breath. My heart wasn't beating. I could barely get out pained little grunts. Celestia and Luna stood there, their horns glowing in unison. They were busy working against the stone I had become.

The wave of flesh swept out slowly, beating back the stone and giving me freedom. I slumped forward when I could, wheezing for breath. "I said... to never do that again..."

Celestia sat down beside me. "We are sorry for any discomfort that may have caused, but we need you here to proceed."

Luna was already speaking to some other pony that looked like a technician or doctor.

It didn't take a genius to see where they were headed. It was a place I had no interest in being.

"No."

"No?" Celestia inclined an ear at me. "No what?"

I reached for that feeling and pulled, trying to force myself so deep and far and fast that there would be no pulling me back unless I asked for it.

It was my body, and my life. I would make my decisions.

Something pulled loose. I felt like I was falling down an infinitely large waterfall. I could see nothing, yet I could see many things. Visions of life, both human and pony, danced before unseeing eyes. I couldn't tell which I was anymore. I was adrift.

I snapped awake in a familiar hospital bed, but it was wrong. I wasn't sitting up the way I had before. My ears twitched. My ears should not be able to twitch. I was a horse. I was a pony, on the wrong side of the divide. I gave an awkward little laugh, deep and masculine. I was True Shot. My bow had come with me, arrows alongside it.

It was all wrong... And yet... it meant I couldn't be pulled back. There was no statue to force into motion, if I was that pony. Where was Linda? I was Linda. Where was her body? I couldn't know. Maybe she was inside? I raised a hoof to my furry chest, wondering if a human female slumbered within my equine form somehow.

The door swung open. Some of the doctors were the same as before. They didn't make it far before they noticed their patient had changed. Things were awkwardly quiet.

I raised a hoof and gave a little wave. "Please don't scream. I'm harmless."

"Jesus Christ," stated one. "Where is Linda Frohein?"

"You're looking at her." I knew I didn't look, or sound like her. "I'll take that landline you were offering before, please?"

"Shit..." It was one of the doctors that had been there before. "It's really... Get a phone." He waved away. "Look, how? This is a publicity stunt for someone, right?"

I slid to the floor, hooves coming to rest on the tile. On the upside, my pony body had not been abused. I felt healthy, just the wrong species. "I am Linda Frohein. I can give social security, all my passwords, and any other information to confirm my identity. Right now, I need to start making phone calls, please. Thank you for taking care of me. I'm grateful, and expect a big bill." There was no way emergency care would be a small bill. "Does my family know where I am? Do you have their number?"

A nurse pointed past everyone else at a phone attached to the wall. "Dial 9, then the full number." In a quieter voice I might have missed if not for big horse ears, she whispered, "How in the hell is a horse going to dial? You're all going to explain what's going on, I hope?"

I willed the phone out of its cradle and it hovered beside my head as I got to dialing my parent's house quickly. It rang twice before a click told me someone had picked up. "Mom? Dad?"

"Who is this?" Sounded like my mother.

Right, sudden call from an obviously male person would be confusing. "It's a long story, but this is Linda, promise. I'm awake and need a ride home. I just need a promise for you to not freak out when you get here."

"Linda? Who's the greatest hero of all time?" She sounded suspicious, which she had every right to be.

I knew the test she was giving though. "Only the Shadow would know that."

She laughed a little strained laugh. "Linda, really? Honey, we're coming. What happened? Nevermind, we're coming." The phone went dead. I held the phone in my will a moment, considering my next move.

A hand touched my back, making me jump. The doctor who had done it hopped away, hands up and face showing obvious fear. "Woah woah woah, sorry, not trying to surprise you, uh, Miss Frohein?"

"Look, I'm fine." I hung up the phone. "I mean, relatively. I'm healthy... healthy as a horse." I gave him an equine smile. "I need to make a few more calls, please. I'll call if I need a thing at all. My ride's on the way. Do you need me to fill out any paperwork before I go?"

The call to the banality of paperwork seemed to have worked. Most of them left, murmuring, and my exit paperwork was brought for me to fill out. I imagined my writing coming out on the paper, and a pen moved to oblige me, completing the form even as I dialed on the phone.

That one answered before the first ring. "Yes?" It was Director Swanson. I could have tried to avoid her, but I was tired of running. The problem had to be faced.

"Director, I know this sounds like the wrong person, but this is Linda Frohein. I am healthy and alive, but also... it's a touch complicated."

"Complicated is the standard. More details please, but not here. This is hardly a secure line."

"I'm standing in a hospital on four hooves." I rolled my eyes lightly. "The top is blown on this can of secrets. I would be shocked if dozens of pictures haven't been taken, samples collected, and more beside that. I am calling to inform you of that, and to let you react. My suggestion, and you are free to disregard it, start making up a spin on this before others do it for you."

"I will contact you shortly." The phone went dead.

With a soft sigh, I hung it up and focused on the form, filling it out entirely. It was important. I needed a trail. I needed to not be easily vanished. With a completed form, I trotted out into the hallway. There I was, a pony, clip-clopping down a hospital hall. A door cracked open on my left and I peeked to see a small face peeking out at me. I smiled at him. "Hello there."

He waved a little hand at me. "Are you a magic pony?"

"In fact, I am." I nodded at him and ruffled the top of his head without approaching. "My name is Linda. Nice to meet you."

"That's a funny name for a boy pony." He emerged from his room. He looked to be somewhere in the low-teens. "No offense..."

"That's alright." I nodded at him patiently. "We magic ponies sometimes have funny names."

"Can you give wishes?" Oh, how his eyes lit up with little boy fantasies.

"Not quite that kind of magic pony." I laughed a little, sitting on my haunches facing him. "If your doctors are alright with it, I can give you a little ride."

Tucked safely in a hotel room, they all let loose. Tod was surrounded by mares. They were sprawled out on beds, relaxing and recovering from their day of adventure. Trixie was rubbing her head between her hooves. "I really need to be more careful about how much magic she uses all at once." She frowned. "She isn't even speaking properly. At least we won't need clothing spells."

Starlight waved a hoof lightly. "None of that, but we still need to keep Night hidden from human eyes at least."

Speaking of Night, she was looking at the television. Tod had showed her how the remote worked, and she was clumsily channel surfing with wide eyes. "You have so many productions right at your beck and call without delay." She changed the channel. "How do you even pick one to watch?"

Tod gave an emphatic shrug. "Turns out, we're a bit numb about them at this point. We just watch what we want, sometimes not even finishing it." He leaned back against the bed he was against. "Why am I the only not-pony in this room?"

Starlight stuck out her tongue at Tod. "We are all as our mothers made us, pony or not. Why, that eager to have hooves again." She waggled a hoof at Tod.

Trixie groaned. "Just don't ask her to do it. She is tired, and hungry. Can we get some food?"

Night shook her head, looking Tod over top to bottom and back. "You're a perfectly fine, um, human was it? Kinda like a minotaur a little..." She sat up onto her haunches. "Nothing wrong with that."

Tod was about to give a likely awkward reply when his phone started ringing. "It's dad." He answered it. "What's up?"

"Linda's awake. We're headed to the hospital to see her. Everything alright?"

"She's awake? Great!" He put a hand over the phone. "Linda's awake." The room gave a communal cheer. "We're just relaxing right now. Should we sit tight until you guys get back at least?"

"Um, yeah, good idea. See you later, sport." The call disconnected and Tod tossed the phone aside. Hanging out with actual ponies seemed like not a bad way to spend a day.

Author's Note

While Tod and the girls are enjoying the day, it seems Linda has taken charge of things in her own narrative. Can this end well for her, er, him?

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94 - Coming Out

"Woah, hold on there." It was a guard, looking at me like I was some amazingly odd pet someone let loose.

I waved the exit papers at him, held in my mental grip. "I have to turn these in at the front desk. Can you point the way?"

One could practically feel his worldview being shattered. "Is this a prank? Uh..." He pointed the way I had already figured out from wall signs. "That way?"

"Thank you." I walked past him with a calm clip-clop. I had no reason to cause trouble, but being seen was good. I needed to be seen, and not as a monster. Rounding the corner, I approached the front desk to the alarmed faces of the administrators seated behind the desk. "Here are the forms." I placed in front of them as if that were a perfectly normal thing for a unicorn in a hospital to do. "Is there a computer around with an internet connection? I can get my medical insurance information."

The man raised a finger slowly to point to the very obvious public terminal. I needn't have asked, but I wanted to.

"Thank you." I dipped my head at him before walking along to the terminal. My purse wasn't there, along with my phone not being there. I could only hope at the time that my friends had gotten it instead of it being simply lost. I pulled up my insurance's site, jammed in a user and password, and soon had my information. "Can you write this down on the form?" I called back to the still confused souls at the desk. "Group number..." I recited all the pertinent details. It would still be a bill, but it would be a smaller bill. Hirrah for medical insurance.

"Anything else I need before I wait for my ride?"

The female of the group slapped her hands down on the counter. "That's it! You're like from that show, with the little ponies!"

I gave her a gentle smile. "Celestia is best pony."

She burst into giggles. "Ohhh, I love that show. I haven't seen it for a while, but, wait, are you... a Hasbro stunt or something?"

I shook my head. "About as real as it comes. I suppose I would be better as a guide pony than anything else, but nope, it's me. Where should I go to report a dramatic appearance change, for paperwork?"

She sank back down into her chair. "How... extreme of a change?"

I considered that. There was no law that would cover simply not being human. There was one at least... "Gender reassignment. I was a woman when I entered this hospital, as I'm sure it was recorded. I'm not one now." I had little doubt she had seen proof of that while I was working on the computer. "I am a male. My birth certificate will need updating, then I'll have to go about updating my driver's license."

The guy looked over at the girl. "Is, uh, that serious?"

"Does he look like he's joking?" She pulled a pad closer to herself. "That's above my pay grade, but I can get the wheels turning. I'll see if a doctor's available right now."

"What's a doctor needed for?" I approached her with perked ears. "I'm healthy."

"As a horse," she stole my joke without shame. "However, we do need to verify your new gender. It's the law. Whoever sends in that letter has to swear to it, and they won't do that without seeing it for themselves." She picked up a phone and with a quick exchange, set it back down. "They'll be right with you. It shouldn't take long to confirm you one way or the other."

I clip-clopped over to a set of seats. There was one adult and one girl. Parent and their kid? It seemed likely. The kid was staring at me, while the adult was trying to avoid being obvious about it with limited success. Turns out human chairs are not really made for pony relaxation, so I just sat in front of them. "Hello," I said to the child. "Not feeling well?"

The girl smiled with a newfound joy. "You really can talk... Are you a nice horsey?"

"Very nice," I assured. "Just waiting my turn, like you are."

She bobbed her head and looked up at her father(?). "Can I pet him?"

He cleared his throat and looked to me. "Is it alright?"

Points to him for asking me instead of assuming. "If it will make her happy, I would be delighted." The more people that saw me and could swear I was there, the better. Besides, making a girl smile was a nice thing. Positive of being a horse, I was fairly sure no creepie crawlies she had would matter to me.

She hopped down from her chair and ran straight at me. In a flying tackle, she hugged my neck tight to herself. She was about as tall as I was, though I was a lot longer. I reached up a hoof and gave her a gentle patting. "What's your name?"

"Cindy, what's yours?" She hopped back and circled around, trailing a hand along me as she went. That was ticklish.

"Linda Frohein," I replied. The more people knew my name, also better. "A pleasure to meet you, Cindy."

An obvious doctor strode in, doctor's labcoat flapping with the motions. "Linda Frohein?"

I perked up. "That's me." Rising to my hooves, I nodded to Cindy. "Looks like I have to go. You be good."

She waved energetically, pouting that I had to go, but not stopping me.

The doctor turned away and marched. His motions were a bit stiff. Clearly he did not expect to be leading a pony around. I trotted up behind and to the side of him. "Just consider me a patient like any other, which I am."

"Right... Here, please." He waved to a small examination room. "Hop up onto the table and lie down."

It was a fairly typical padded examination table, sheet of paper included. I was not going to lay on it flat as a human, ponies were less built for that. I hopped up and laid down on my side facing him. "I think you can see that I am verifiable male."

"Can you get on your back?" He set aside a clipboard and closed the door. "It shouldn't take long. For thoroughness, your full name and date of birth?"

I rolled over, my hooves going straight up until I tried relaxing them. As it turns out, ponies have much more flexibility than normal earth hoses. My arms and legs could flop off to the sides or even fold straight with my body, so on my back I was, exposed and ready for a looking over. "Linda Frohein." I gave him a date of birth and tossed in hospital of birth while I was in there. "Do you need a social?"

"Couldn't hurt." He put on some latex gloves and casually inspected, quickly verifying that I was about as male as any equine could be. "Did you... come here reassignment? Your operating doctor really should be doing this."

"I didn't, but here I am. I was female yesterday, and on arrival to the hospital. You've likely seen the paperwork."

He obviously had, but he didn't say as much. I will say that having your various bits handled felt... I couldn't say bad or good. New, different. Some part of me would have been happy for him to be much more thorough, but I was already on a timer and my mind was occupied thoroughly with not ending up in a black lab somewhere. "All done?"

"Linda Frohein, you are male." He returned to his clipboard to make a few new notes, his gloves coming off along the way.

"Good." I sat up, hopped down and trotted right to the front counter. "I will be suing the hospital."

That got them to jump, good. "I came in as a female member of the race homo sapiens. I'm leaving as a male of a different species. This is clearly not the treatment I would have authorized. If the situation were reversed, would you not? Before you offer, no, I don't want reconstructive surgery. Just inform your lawyer. If you want to take pictures for their use, proceed. I'll be doing the same."

There was more to do, so much more. I went to the nearest public phone. Thank god they had one in the hospital. I dialed up my lawyer. Yes, lawyers have lawyers. Smart ones do, at least. "Hank? Been a while. Have I got a case for you."

"Hello, who is this?"

"Linda Frohein." I rattled off a number I knew only he would know. "I've been gender and species re-assigned without consent. It's all documented. I don't use the sue word often, but this is the time."

"Holy christ on a stick, is that really you, Linda?"

"Yes. I remember the time you had to borrow my notes in college to pass that test on precedents and the proper research thereof. You wouldn't recognize me right now, but I am still Linda." I gave him the name and address of the hospital. "I've been verified male. I'll have to have my documents updated. Can you help get that moving?"

"You know I'm on your side, but, Jesus, how? Wait, did you say species?"

"You're talking to a small horse." I rolled my eyes, a smile on my face. It was ridiculous, but I had to create all the paper trail I could. "When I get my phone back, I'll start sending you pictures. Just, please, get started as quickly as possible. I'll pay for the rush job." I saw a familiar car pulling in up front. "My family's here. You can contact me at my parent's house. You still have their number?"

"It really is you... I mean, yeah, I have that. Look, I'm on the case."

"I knew I could count on you. Talk to you later." I hung up the phone with my will and waited by the door to the outside world. I didn't quite have the confidence to go trotting across the parking lot.

Night clopped her hooves with a happy smile. "We should play a game." She reached over and snatched a fry, munching it down quickly. "Now that we've had something to eat."

Trixie inclined an ear at Night. "What manner of game did you have in mind?"

Night's chipper expression wore slightly as she struggled.

Tod sat up. "Well, if I wasn't here, I'd imagine a bunch of girls would play truth or dare."

Starlight grinned at the idea. "And why does your being here stop us from doing that? Truth or dare, are you in?" She pointed at Night, who gave an uncertain nod. She pointed at Trixie. "Do you dare?"

"As if Trixie could be so easily scared." She stuck out her tongue. "Just be prepared, for what goes around, comes around."

Starlight nodded to Tod. "Looks like truth or dare it is. Since it was your idea, I'll let you go first."

Tod grabbed a discarded can of soda. "Alright... If we're playing, we should do it right. You put this down between everyone and it'll decide who gets asked next." He gave it a spin and around it went, slowly stopping on Trixie.

Trixie beamed. "Of course it would pick Trixie. Why wouldn't we have a Great and Powerful start to the show? Go on."

Tod was less certain. "Okay, Trixie, truth... or dare?"

"Trixie wishes to see what you dare would be." She rolled a hoof. "Hit her with the best you have. She can take it."

Author's Note

That wasn't -quite- 2k, but it also felt like the perfect break point, so that's where I slice it! What do you think of Linda's strategy?

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95 - Every Channel

I decided to back away from the door a little. Spotting a unicorn staring at them just inside might slow them down, or so I figured. A nurse approached hesitantly with a bundle of papers. "Here you are... sir?"

I took them with a thought. "Thank you." They were the discharge papers. I scanned quickly. Admitted for blood loss and other medical jargon. Is now... male and healthy. Great, perfect. I folded the paper and tucked it just under my bow.

My mother, father, and cousin were marching on the building with hopeful expressions that were laced with concern. I would have been too, if I were on the other side. I took a slow breath, waiting for them to come inside before I stepped out with a little clip-clop. "Mom, Dad, Cousin. Hello."

All three came to a stop. Mother was the first to react, "Dear god in heaven, what did they do to you?!"

Dad squinted. "You're telling me this is our little Linlin?"

My ears fell without my asking them to. "I stopped being a 'little Linlin' a while back, dad, but, yes, I am Linda Frohein. I don't suppose you have my phone with you?"

My cousin shook his head. "My boy and your friends have it, actually. They're the ones that found you. They didn't mention, you know, this?"

I smiled at that. Great, my phone wasn't lost. "I'll call them then. For now, we have to get moving. We are on a time table and every moment makes a difference. Can I count on you three to be on my side?"

Mother frowned at me. "As if you need to ask. Look, let's get out of here. Just being in a hospital where this kind of thing can happen makes me nervous." That didn't stop her from stepping up towards me, reaching with shaking fingers to examine my snout. "Does it hurt?"

"No, it even comes with a few perks, but we'll cover that later." I nuzzled her hand, which she seemed to like. Who doesn't like horse nuzzles?

Father was already moving for the door. "Let's get moving. I want answers, and I know you. I won't get a word in until you get what you want."

Bless his heart. That was exactly what I needed. I rose up and followed, with my mother and cousin trailing behind. That was when mother noticed what was clearly evident. "You really are a... man?"

"Stallion?" offered my cousin in an attempt to be helpful.

I looked over my shoulder. "Mom, tell me you have my birth certificate at home."

"In the drawer." As if it were extremely obvious which one. "You need that?"

"And my identification, preferably. We'll have to call the girls to see if they have that."

We emerged into the light of day. People gaped and scrambled out of the way of the horse emerging from the hospital. Good, the more the merrier. I didn't talk to them, but I kept talking with my family. Let there be more people seeing a magic talking horse. There was no going back and hiding, so forward at full speed was the safest course. "Dad, do you watch the news?"

"Once in awhile, why?"

"Happen to know where the closest station is, physically?"

Cousin fished out his phone. "Nothing Google can't answer for us, but why?"

I loved my cousin, I really did, but perhaps there was a reason he didn't get that promotion. As we marched across the parking lot, I turned my head towards him. "You don't think this is newsworthy? Lawyer found near dead at the beach, wakes up with with a sex swap? I think it is."

Dad pulled open the door on his side of the car. "Not mentioning being a horse?" He slid inside without waiting for an answer.

As it turned, ponies could squeeze into cars and sit like people did. It wasn't the ideal for comfort, but I could, and did. I was in the back with my cousin, with Mom and Dad taking the front seats. I had opened the door with a thought, and closed it much the same. Mother had noticed, I was sure, but didn't say anything just yet.

"Found it." He was holding his phone up. "Closest major station."

Dad pulled the car free of its spot and started towards the road. "Linda, you want to do that now, or get home first?"

"Drop me off. You and Mom go get all of my documents and come back for us."

My cousin got the hint. "We'll do what we can. You really want to start screaming?"

I smiled at that. "In more ways than one. It's not every day you wake up as a stallion." Come to think, for me, it was every day. I didn't need to mention that.

A short drive through town had us in front of the news station. I willed the door open and slipped out onto the sidewalk. "Thank you, all of you. See you all soon."

"See me right now." My cousin had scrambled out the same door I had opened. "Let's go."

That reminded me. "Can I borrow your phone?" He surrendered his and I gave my lawyer a call. "Hey, it's me again."

"Linda! Look, I'm doing the research and there just isn't even the start of a legal code for species reassignment."

"Forget that. Focus on what there is precedent for. Sex change and disfiguration. Those are both facts. I went in a woman, came out a male that looks nothing like what I started as. I'm borrowing my cousin's phone, so I can snap a few shots and send them your way. I have the discharge papers, I'll send a snapshot of that too, it has the pertinents."

"They have the details on the discharge? Great, that'll make this a much simpler case."

"Let me send it all to you, so expect them. Thank you for being there."

"You know I'm in your corner."

He hung up and I got to snapping pictures of the discharge papers on each side, then I gave the camera back to my cousin. "Time to show off your photography skills." I gave an equine smile. "Be sure to get my good side."

He looked quite uncertain a moment, but soon had his phone up and I could hear pictures being taken. "Do you want some from, uh, that back end?"

"I did say the good side." I shook my bare bottom. "Go ahead."

As he circled around me, I could see people were staring, pointing, and otherwise ogling us. I was a unicorn, with a bow. I had been floating things with a glowing horn and now I was posing for photographs. A news van pulled up and parked right where my parents had been a moment before. This was not too surprising, considering we were in front of their building, but I couldn't help but smile at the timing.

A female reporter stepped free of the van. She was not rushing for me. She looked as confused as everyone else. She was probably coming back from something and didn't expect me to be there. She caught on though and waved her cameraman over and pointed at me. Soon I had another recording device capturing me in all my chiseled equine glory. Good. I decided to escalate.

Approaching that secretary on three hooves, the last raising to wave at her, I called out, "Hello there."

I could see her fingers clutching the microphone she had just gotten into place all the tighter. "We are... here, in front of the studio, with..." She held out the microphone towards me. "Care to introduce yourself?"

With pleasure. I leaned in towards the microphone. "Hello. I am Linda Frohein. Less than twenty-four hours ago, I was a woman. Now, I am not."

I could see doubt and confusion play across her face. "You'll excuse my doubts, but our viewers undoubtedly share them. You appear to be a... horse."

"Whatever I am, I am Linda Frohein. My parents are retrieving my documents right now. They are human, just as you are, and I am. This isn't about... that, not specifically. I am sueing the treating hospital. Under their care, I have had my sex changed and have been disfigured severely, both without request." I pulled free the discharge papers and held them up, floating there in the air in my magic. "Here are the papers, as written and signed by the hospital itself."

She reached forward hesitantly. She didn't want to touch the magic glow, but she didn't want to let go of such obvious evidence either. I set the paper down on the ground and it stopped glowing. She seemed more comfortable plucking it up then. Her eyes quickly scanned for the most important bits. A most unwholesome swear emerged from her. "Thank fucking Christ we are not live right now." Her eyes moved to my cousin. "Sir? Are you with her?"

"She's my cousin," he replied with a smile. "I'm here to support her." He held out his phone where I could see it and I got to sending all the pictures to my lawyer without taking it. I could press the buttons without 'holding' the phone, so I didn't bother. "We just picked her up at the hospital before we came here."

"How are you... feeling?" She smiled awkwardly. "Are you in any pain?"

I shook my head. "I am perfectly functional. I am clear of mind and completely mobile." I lifted each hoof one at a time. "This isn't about that kind of injury. I presume you would not wish to awaken looking like me if you were taken to the hospital for an unrelated condition. Now I need to update my driver's license and deal with coworkers, friends, and even family not recognizing me when they see me. This is unacceptable."

"Unacceptable is the minimum." She waved to her cameraman. "Would you care to come with us inside?"

I looked to my cousin. "Wait for Mom and Dad and escort them inside when they get here, alright?" He nodded, and I passed that nod to the reporter. "Let's go."

Tod considered his options. He had to give Trixie, pony Trixie, a dare. Horribly inappropriate options likely went through his mind, but he settled on something more appropriate. "I'd like to see some magic, do something I couldn't do, a real show of magic."

Trixie laughed softly. "Is that all? That is something Trixie happens to specialize in." She looked around the room before settling on the remote. "Teacup!" With a burst of magic, they had a teacup remote, with its sides and bottoms made of fine porcelain, but its top still plastic and holding the buttons it needed to function. "Ta da!" She looked down to the spinner and grabbed the can in her magic. "Now she gets a turn." Round and round it went, stopping on Night Heart. "Ah, our newest guest."

Night smiled nervously, ears quivering up and back in her failed attempt to look brave. "A-alright?"

"Truth or dare?" challenged Trixie dramatically, a little cackle to go with it.

"O-oh, um, truth." She bobbed her head. "Truth please."

Trixie stuck out her tongue. "Oh, fine, take the boring way out. Mmm, what was your first kiss? We want details."

Night's ears fell. "D-does family count?"

All the heads that were not hers shook. Trixie rolled her eyes. "Of course not."

"Alright, so, first kiss..." She sat up on her haunches. "There was a colt in school. He stole it. He was trying to prove to his friends that he could kiss, and I was the lucky mare walking past at the time. So all of a sudden, there's a colt attached to me." She became more red by the moment. "I shoved him away so hard, the poor thing bonked his head on a bench and passed out. The other colts panicked and ran off, leaving me with their unconscious, bleeding, friend. I was angry, but not that angry. I couldn't just... leave him, so I did what I could and..." Her blush got worse by the moment. "That was how I got my cutie mark, helping a stupid colt not die from kissing a filly without asking."

Author's Note

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96 - We Interrupt This...

As bizarre as my case was, I had written proof, and physical proof. I was clearly not a robot of some kind, which they did check. Once walked into the studio, we were quickly approached by other curious souls, and soon I had hands and fingers prodding, poking, petting, and otherwise being very invasive. They were not being easily convinced just by looking, and that was fine. I was sure they'd been subject to a thousand hoaxes a month, so I tried to be patient with them. Let them be as touchy as they needed if it meant that many more people sure I was a thing.

A severe-looking man with an equally serious frown approached the group. "Break it up! Just got a call, this is fake." He waved for people to make their ways. "Everyone back to their posts."

Really? That was what she had gone with as a defense? My horn glowed as I reached for the man's belt and casually undid it and gave his pants a yank. I made absolutely no attempt to be subtle. Some of the people around me looked over when I started glowing, and those same people gasped with amazement when I depantsed what was likely their boss.

I stood up. "I was a woman just yesterday, now I am a man. This is without doubt and thoroughly documented. I am making legal motions to seek proper justice. As an acting lawyer myself, I am not in the habit of spouting verifiable falsehoods." I leaned forward a little as he scrambled to get his pants back into position. "That gets you fired as a rule."

"Mother Mary! Why aren't we already live?" demanded the reporter I had come in with, one of her hands at her hips. "We should already be going. Do you think no one out there had a camera? They'll be posting pictures before us."

The boss, his belt back in working order, scowled, as seemed to be a favored expression of his. "You are some kind of... freak, but all you talk about is your sex change?"

"I'll gladly answer all your questions if you get that camera going." I gently smiled, tail swaying as I settled on my haunches. "I'm here to give you a story. Are you taking it?"

"No one will believe us!" He threw a pen to the ground where it bounced impotently. "We'll be a laughing stock of the industry!"

I pointed a hoof back towards the street we had come from. "Then why not record out there. Let random members of the public see the interview, or even come up and try to 'disprove' me, so long as it doesn't involve violence." I cringed at the thought of some lunatic approaching with a knife. Ponies were pretty sweet, but I was pretty sure candy would not spill free from me.

The newroom was becoming a chaotic mess. One of them pulled out a smartphone and pointed it at me and the reporter I was with. "Forget this, we'll go live on social media if we have to."

The boss threw his hand in front of the phone. "No! Fine, go ahead. We go live!" That set in motion a whirl of activity as people got to work. I was soon back out in front with the reporter as the usual broadcast was cut inside and soon there I was, smiling at the camera, live...

"We're here in front of our studio--" She waved a hand across the front of the building. "--with a very special bit of news. This is--"

"Linda Frohein," I spoke clearly.

"Hello Mister Frohein." She nodded at me. "Can you tell us what happened?"

"That's 'Miss' Frohein. Until the proper legal paperwork is complete, I am registered as a female, which I was just a day ago. I awoke on a hospital bed as you see me, disfigured beyond recognition." I put a hoof to my chest. "I came here because I want it known that I am still Linda, and I intend to resume my life."

"Do you mean to undergo further reconstructive surgery to undo some of the... damage?"

"Thank you, but no." I shook my head firmly. "I will remain as I am, and that's fine." I waggled a hoof at her. "These are not ideal for typing, but this makes up for it." I tapped my horn gently. "May I show you?"

"Please, go ahead." The reporter was leaning in with a smile. She wanted to see it. That was fine. Let them all see it.

I glanced around for a good target. Someone had left a newspaper in the trash, good enough. I willed it to lift up and hover over to me before unfolding it.

"That's... fascinating." Her eyes darted between my glowing horn and the equally glowing paper. "But I'm sure my viewers at home would like to see something not so easily faked."

"I picked a newspaper for a reason." I willed the paper to be a crane and it began folding up into one. "Anyone who wants to check can see that the writing on the paper is both real and consistent. It is far more complicated than any other simple shape and will be easy to spot if it is fake." I brought the crude crane towards her. "Now touch it, rip a piece off and throw it aside. We'll pick it up later. We're not here to litter."

She took a firm hold of its neck in one hand and ripped with the other, beheading the poor crane, but the rest of it kept floating. She released the head and it fell to the ground in a flutter. "Do you possess other abilities since this event?"

"I gained the male ability to not need to sit down." Potty humor, classy, but I wanted to keep the mood light. "But, I imagine you're more interested in these feats." I tapped at my horn.

A man walking past paused and looked over at me. His eyes dipped to my rump. "Holy shit, it's a pony!" He hurriedly approached, ignorant or uncaring of the camera. "I don't recognize you."

The reporter hiked a brow at the man. "Pardon? We're filming here, please."

I held up a hoof. "Hold on a moment, please." I smiled at the man gently. "I am a human. I woke up this way earlier. You seem to have some knowledge on the subject, what am I, physically?"

That was when he realized he had bumbled right into a newscast. "O-oh, well, you see... Um... You're a pony, like a 'my little pony' pony? You have the cutie mark and everything! Oh wow, you're even floating things." He noticed the floating paper I still held. "Do you know any other spells?"

"Spells?" The newscaster was getting interested. "Yes, please show us that."

I remembered the spell from before, back at Starlight's hooves. I didn't have any cleaning supplies with me, so I just hoped things would work, somehow. I focused on it, my magic getting brighter. From within the studio a thump was heard. We all looked over to see a bucket with a mop on it bouncing against the door. Someone inside opened it and allowed their escape.

The bucket rushed over and set down as the mop jumped free and got to work cleaning the sidewalk with limited success. Several smaller brushes jumped free of the bucket and joined in, becoming a riot of cleanliness in view of the camera.

"So, uh--" The man was watching me as much as the magic on display. "You're an archer?" He could see my bow and arrows, not that they were hidden.

"They came with the rest of it." I shrugged softly. I felt no need to get into how the arrows worked at that moment. An idea struck my and I tilted my head to the side, an ear going up. "Excuse me, but I have a little itch, could you?"

I soon had a stranger scratching me around the base of my offered ear. It was a funny sensation, but not a bad one. More importantly, it drew other people. The youngest were easiest to pull with the promise of pony petting. While some were held back by concerned parents, I soon had two children, a girl and a boy, gushing questions and petting. They were adorable, but I was using them in a way. The more people were physically interacting with me on live television, the better.

The reporter cleared her throat. "So, your legal actions. What is it you hope to gain, in the end?"

My parent's car pulled up a short distance away and I saw Mother and Father spill out. Mother came hurrying up with a collection of papers in her right hand. "Linda!" That's when she noticed I was being recorded and she slowed.

I waved her forward. "Meet my mother, who has my vital records."

The reporter turned right to her. "Excuse me, are you willing to answer a few questions?" When she nodded, the reporter put out her microphone. "How are you certain that this is your daughter?"

Oh, Mom did not like that question. "If there was even a shadow of a doubt, I wouldn't be here. I know my daughter, and she is not a liar. If she says she woke up a horse, well, damn it all, that's what she did." She moved over to my side and put a hand down on my head, my horn going up between two of her fingers.

I felt like I had just been claimed. It wasn't... a bad feeling. I mean, she was my mom. If anyone in the world had the right to say 'Mine!', it was her. Still, right on local news. I couldn't help the fierce blush that ran through my cheeks. I had good family, that much I was sure of.

The reporter had followed the movement. "So, are you a local?"

"Born and raised," replied my mother. My father came up beside her, nodding.

I raised a hoof. "My job called me out to California, where I've been living the last few months."

The presence of my parents spooked off some of the other petters, and I was down to just the girl who was messing with my tail. I couldn't see what she was doing, but she was doing something. The interview was going well, I decided.

Night span the bottle to determine who she would get to challenge. As it span around and around, Trixie continued surfing through channels before she blinked and dropped the remote. "True Shot!"

Everyone turned in unison. There was True Shot, being interviewed with some other people on television. Tod hopped up to his feet. "Auntie?!" There in the ticker bar beneath the broadcast, it reported that the pony on the screen was 'Linda Frohein'.

The bottle landed on Tod, but everyone's attention was on the television.

"I'm not asking for any sudden actions." Linda put a hoof on her chest. "I just want it to be clear that I am still Linda Frohein. No matter how odd I look, I am an American. I plan to go back to work like any other American. I'll drink Starbucks, like any other American, pay my taxes, watch TV, and follow the laws like anyone else."

Starlight hopped up to her hooves. "What the hay is she doing?!"

Tod shook his head numbly. "I think she's... I dunno, but it's big." His eyes darted down. "Sheesh, this isn't a local station." That got blank stares from all the ponies. "It means everyone in the country could be watching this!"

Starlight pointed at the door. "Should we join her?"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "As much as Trixie would love to be witnessed in all her glory, she feels that would be... hasty."

Starlight sank to her belly. "Was I just slowed down by Trixie? This is truly the end of days."

Trixie stuck out her tongue at Starlight. "Trixie says wise things all the time, you just have to listen."

Author's Note

The wheels of media have begun to spin, and they are quite rapid indeed.

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97 - Indecency

I noticed a few smartphones were out, snapping pictures and taking videos no doubt. Some of them were broadcasting to the web, good. The more angles, the more people, the better. My mother suddenly tapped me on the head. "You must be exhausted from all this. Shouldn't we be getting you to somewhere to... recover from all this?"

In a sane world, that would be exactly what one would do when one wakes up another species, sure. This was far from ideal. "I'm ready to continue. I have to. Who has my phone again?"

My cousin raised a hand. "It's with your friends and my son. Should I get them over here?"

The interviewing newscaster put a hand to her ear a moment. "Excuse me, Miss Frohein? Would you be willing to submit to a proper medical examination?"

On one hand, that could be great for my case. On the other hand, if Director Swanson had put in a call for it, that was literally my ticket to possibly-permanent jail time. "I'm still a little shaken. I would prefer my family remain with me at all times. If they can come with me, I suppose that isn't an unreasonable request."

My cousin moved in beside me, flanking me with my mother. "We're here for you."

That reminded me. "Where is your wife in all this? Tell me she at least knows where you are."

"She's... We can talk about that... later." He looked patently uncomfortably. Damn it all. Had I ruined my cousin's marriage? He didn't deserve that, and poor Tod. Damn it. One fire at a time, right.

I rose up to my hooves and nodded at the camera, then the interviewer. "Where are we going?"

"The closest would actually be where this was said to occur."

That was a red flag. "You'll fo--"

Father cut in, "They just made my daughter into... this!" He waved a hand at me for proof. "You want us to go back there? There is no way in hell."

"I'm a doctor," came a new male voice. Emerging from the crowd came a well-dressed man wielding a small briefcase. "It was hard to not notice the growing crowd. If it's acceptable, I would be happy to verify, or disprove, this."

I looked between him, the Italian-appearing doctor, and our interviewer.

She seemed to be talking on her headset, nodding. "My heads are telling me that they can't authorize a payment for a medical person they have no prior arrangements with outside of a clinic or hospital."

He waved a hand. "I want to know just as much as everyone else." He waved to the murmuring crowd. "Blood tests will require payment, but not to me. I'm not outfitted for blood drawing regardless." He nodded to me. "Miss, may I?"

I was to be examined on the sidewalk? That was to my benefit in the end. I nodded firmly. "Go ahead." I didn't sound like any miss, but we knew that."Need me to do anything?"

He pulled out a little mallet, little more than a rubber ball at the end of a metal stick. "I'm going to test some reflexes to start. Just relax."

As it turned out, I still had human reflexes in most of the places he tried, layered on top of some equine ones. Imagine my surprise when he basically pet my back with the tips of his fingers and I felt my spine bending down against them. He could make me turn this way and that and I giggled. It was like being tickled. He pulled out a tuning fork and struck it firmly against his other palm before pressing it to various parts of me to see if I could feel anything before pressing it to the next part. He checked legs, along my barrel, and even my tail.

My cousin looked skeptical. "Why do you have this stuff just walking down the road? I can't imagine a doctor needs this on a sudden call."

He slipped the tuning fork away. "I saw this on television, I admit, and came to see it with my own eyes."

That made more sense than random luck. The interviewer smiled brightly. "You watch us all the time?"

"All the time," he agreed as he nudged me to lay down on the sidewalk. "Now, I'm no veterinarian, but your anatomy isn't quite right for a horse, or a human." He ran a hand over my exposed side.

Mother folded her arms. "Well, Mister Doctor, that makes sense for a person that is a horse now don't it? It'd be even more bizarre if she did have all the horse parts in the right place."

The interviewer suddenly raised a hand to her ear and turned to the camera that panned off of me. "We're getting something to protect Miss Frohein's decency."

Oh. Right. Naked, on live TV. That was a thing that I was. I had the decency to blush since it had been brought up. That got the doctor's attention. "How..." He leaned in to peer at my cheeks, which is not a place I'm used to people staring at. It only got more interesting when he started brushing them to get to the bottom of how I blushed through fur.

A secretary, or a lady who looked like one, came rushing out of the station and threw a blanket over my back half, returning my decency. She was out of there in a flash. That's about when I felt a hand where no hand uninvited belonged. I snorted like a champion racer and twisted to see the doctor was casually examining my altered sexuality. "Excuse me?"

"You said you were female, as of twenty-four hours ago, correct?" He drew his hands back, apparently satisfied with whatever he found. "I can't find any scar tissue."

I waggled my ears about before focusing on him. "One, I'm covered in fur, that's going to make that harder. For two, it's not my job to explain how any of this happened." Not that anyone would accept 'magic' as a valid reason. "Actually." I rose to my hooves, my blanket hanging from me. "My next stop is the DMV." Everyone suddenly looked at me like I had said something crazy. "What? I have my documents. I am getting an updated identification. I'll get a new license when I go home..." Oh, right, I had a flight to take. "Actually..." I turned to Mother and Father. "I think I'm ready to go home now. I have to get ready for a flight."

That should be fun.

Trixie tilted her equine head. "It sounds like she's going home."

Starlight hopped to her hooves, but the leap kept going. She landed on human feet. "We should be there too. Tod?"

"Ye--" His reply was cut off as he noticed Starlight was naked, human naked. "Yeah?" He had turned away from her. "We're heading back?"

Starlight nodded firmly. "I'll call for a ride. It's time to get everyone back together, I think."

Trixie let out a weary sigh. "Hold on a moment, she will get you back to travel-ready." She lowered her horn at Night, and soon they were both bipedal and getting dressed.

They were soon out to catch their ride and get on their way home.

The interviewer rolled a hand at the doctor. "So, what have you found?"

"It's not mechanical." He counted off a finger as he spoke. "It's not a well-trained horse. Whatever it is, it's here and very real. I couldn't tell you what 'it' is, human or something else, but I can very that 'it' is not being faked by any means I can easily determine. Miss Frohein's case defies easily explanation. I would very much like to see a full chem panel and x-rays, but we're not getting that."

Both of them looked towards me, but I was hurrying away with my family. Horse ears are great for snooping though. I had them both turned back to hear them.

That stopped once I slipped into the car and sat like a person--human to make room. "Thank you, all of you, for standing by me."

Father got the car in motion, pulling away from the media. "So, now you're going to tell us what in all the bloody hells is going on?"

Mother nodded. "Please. We're ready to stand behind you, hon, really, but that works both ways. Tell us."

Cousin reached over and ran a hand down my side. I think he wanted to pet a pony as badly as anyone else. "Are you alright?"

"No." I smiled in my equine way. "But I'm surviving, as a pony, a male pony." I wasn't sure how much I could say without complicating their lives. "I can't be sure it was a thing the hospital... did specifically, but that's where it happened, and it's the angle I have to follow until it's set in stone that I am Linda Frohein, legally."

Father let out a grunt and slammed an open palm against the rim of the steering wheel. "Bloody hell! This is not even on the list I expect to go wrong at a hospital!" He drove along, but he was clearly angry. "The hell happened? I mean, at the beach. You were gone, just like that."

"That's not a bad summary." I let out a sigh that had a bit of a nicker in it. "I was washed out to sea, but I fought my way back with the help of a..." Crap...

They noticed my hesitation. Mother reached back around her seat and her hand landed on my left knee. "Whatever you tell us, stays with us. Just tell us."

"It's going to sound patently insane."

Cousin laughed, a single strained sound. "More than my cousin, the lawyer lady becoming a horse that probably has a bigger dick than I do? If you can top that crazy, you deserve a prize."

I could hear hurt there. What had she said to him? "Alright, full disclosure." I leaned back against the seat I was crammed in. "I am not the only equine in America, of the sort that can talk. I'm legally forbidden from going into details. I met one though, in the ocean. She was a fish horse, adorable really. She got me back to land, but by the time I got there, it was dark, getting cold fast, and I cut myself on the trip like a big idiot."

I could see Father's fingers drumming on the steering wheel. "Riiight? Look, you know how impossible that sounds, right? I mean, if there wasn't a horse in the backseat..." He was stressed. It was obvious, and could anyone blame him.

Mother's hand remained, squeezing me gently. "Linda, dear... We're on your side. You've been there for us, for the family. This isn't exactly what I had in mind as the payback, but life rarely asks our opinion before flinging its nonsense at us. We'll get through this."

I smiled at that. I loved my mom... "Thanks. I meant what I said though. I plan to get on that plane. I have to. If they let me on, it's just another tick in the box of 'I am legally Linda Frohein.' I have to try."

"But you'll be so far away..." Her hand withdrew a little. "Especially at a time like this. Not everyone will be understanding."

I'd settle for not being shot on the way to get a cup of coffee. On the plus side, horses are not predators. More people would be amazed instead of immediately prompted to self defense at the sight of a four foot tall pony trotting around. "I have friends. Speaking of those, where are they?" I imagined Trixie and Starlight, alone for so long. "Tell me they're al--"

"Hello!" Twilight's voice was coming from the windshield that was lightly shimmering but not impeding sight. "Linda, are you there?"

Poor Father almost crashed us all into the nearest solid object.

Author's Note

The story proceeds. The gears are turning and things are happening. We are coming close to make or break, I feel.

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98 - Diplomacy

The car rocked with the sudden jerk my father gave it, but he righted himself quickly. "What the hell was that? It came--"

"Pardon me," spoke Twilight. "I didn't mean to alarm anyone."

I raised a hoof from the back. "Everyone, meet Princess Twilight Sparkle. You can't see her at the moment, but she's all the horse I am."

"We're not horses." Twilight sounded mildly offended at the idea. "We're ponies. Nice to meet you all. Sorry for intruding, but I really can't wait to speak to Linda. Wait, that wasn't Linda's voice. True? But, how?"

I cocked a fuzzy brow at that. "Better question, how are you reaching me if there isn't a statue to use?"

"You did leave something... Namely your human body. It's very hurt, and asleep. We're taking care of it as best we can, but I hadn't realized you had literally swapped places. That seems so obvious on reflection, hmmm. Either way, your human body isn't stone, so we can't just... unstone it, not that they should have done that!" I could hear an angry hint in her voice. Perhaps she did not approve of that method. "Look, I saw what happened last time we did that. Are you alright? I'm calling as a friend, not a princess. Are you okay?"

Mother slapped the dashboard. "Hold on there. You need to bring us up to speed. We're tired of chasing blindly behind, and this is sounding crazier by the moment." She held up a pointer at the dimly glowing glass. "Let's start with 'your human body'. You have Linda?"

"Who is this? Yes. We have her, and she's safe. I'm so sorry the princesses, er, the other ones, got carried away. That wasn't right."

Cous' leaned forward in his seat. "Twilight Sparkle?"

"Oh, yes. Have you seen me in your media? They got the voice eerily spot on, even if my physical features are inaccurate in proportions." She cleared her throat, still not visible. "I suppose introductions are in order. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle."

"Patrick Frohein," reported my Father.

"Sarah Frohein," added my mother, they both sounded formal.

Twilight gasped dramatically. "Are you her parents? It's an honor to meet you both! Wait, I heard one other voice. What is your name, sir...?"

"Just her cousin, Roy Frohein." His smile was awkward. "I didn't expect... this."

"Tell me about it." I heard Twilight sigh gently. "You're all in a car, right? Are you going to be somewhere safer to speak shortly?"

Father nodded. "We're just pulling into the driveway now." He slowed the car to a gentle stop and pulled the key free. "So, what's going on? How do we get our daughter back?"

"I'm happy to report that you have her right now, just in the wrong body. As for how to switch that back, I think she, or he, has a better idea of how to do that than I do."

Knowing my body was on the other side, I did. I just had to... switch back. Was that something I could do on command? I did it the first time. Why not again? "Right... not now though." All three of my family members turned to look at me like I was crazy. "Look, there are important things going on that need this splash I'm making. It goes beyond just me. Twilight, tell them what we were working on before this all fell apart."

Twilight cleared her throat before she came into view. There was the magic purple horse across our windshield. "Members of our nation are currently being held prisoner by your own. We've been working to secure their safety, well-being, and ultimately recovery. The going has been slow, but I feel we are making progress." She brought up two hooves just to spread them. "Things became more complex when we realized that ponies may be being thrown far wider than just your country, and even if we do secure an extradition agreement with your country, we would have to negotiate fresh with every other country."

Roy rolled a hand towards me. "That's pretty messed up, but doesn't explain how she became a he."

Twilight's head sank a little. "That's a whole other story. I'll let Linda, or do you prefer True Shot right now? I'll let them tell you that story." She perked up. "Allow me to say that she, or he, has been a great help to Equestria, that's my country, and we are very glad to have him, or her, them. We're glad to have them as a friend and a citizen."

Mom undid the door on her side of the car. "Can we take this inside? I need a little more room to breathe."

A thought came quickly. "How many others are gathered about?"

Dad undid his door. "It's long past the time of secrets, Linda. Let's break the news."

Twilight smiled in at us. "I'll hop to a new reflective surface in five minutes." She vanished.

Everyone spilled out of the car. I fell to all fours, as was my new natural state. With a soft clip-clop I trodded towards the door and my incoming doom.

"When'd you get a horse?" called a new voice.

We all looked over at a neighbor that had spotted me. It wasn't time to play pretend, so I smiled at him. "Nobody owns me, but nice to meet you." I dipped my head and scurried inside away from his confused expression.

"True!" came a familiar female voice just an instant before I was being hugged around my fuzzy neck by an ecstatic Starlight. "It's so good to see you! But why are you... you know..."

Trixie cocked a brow. "Why are you a pony right now? Does this mean we can go back to being ponies?" Eyes turned to Trixie, including members of my family that were not 'in' on it. "What?" She waved a hand at me. "You see one pony, another's that surprising?"

Well, that was the pony out of the stable, so to speak. I had curious family members poking at me while others questioned my friends... plus one? I hadn't yet met her, and soon she was a pony just like Trixie and Starlight. There were four ponies in the house and the family created a constant buzz of conversation, not that I could even start to blame them.

A ring reached my ears. It was my ringtone. "Who has my phone?"

Tod fished it out and held it up. I willed it closer and it flew across the room before wide eyes to reach my face as I answered. "Hello?"

"Misses Frohein, I presume?" spoke Director Swanson.

I felt everything run cold. "Hello," I said as neutrally as possible. "How can I help you?"

"You've done more than enough." I heard something being put down on the other end. "I will not be pursuing you."

My ears lifted. "Oh?" I wanted to know much more than that, but the more I said, even in questions, the more I gave away. I let her be the talker.

"I've been fired. This conversation is between two private citizens."

Fired? I... didn't want that. I mean, I wanted her to not throw me in medical prison forever, but It wasn't anything personal. "If it matters, I thought you did your job well."

There was a silence for a moment. "Thank you." A little laugh escaped her. "Perhaps I'll use you as a reference."

A wry smile spread over my equine lips. "I would speak well of you, Miss Swanson."

"Misses."

She was married? "Pardon. I... hope things work out."

"It's my fault." I heard something small being put down, her glasses? "Ever since I met you, I tried to strong arm you. A gentler touch would have yielded easier results, and less terminations. You've won, Miss Frohein. You won. Your little publicity blitz has erased the idea of secrecy from the entire program."

There was something there. She was hurt, on some deeper level that went beyond a financial misstep. Oh... "Are you the breadwinner in your--"

"He tends the house," she cut off. "Not that it's any of your concern at this point. You won. They'll make it a big publicity thing, practically hurl new identification at you when you get home. You win. You get the happy ending." She was ranting at that point, her anger bursting free. "No one will know or care about me, and maybe that's just what I deserve!"

Maybe it was being a pony. Maybe I was soft before then. Either way, my little equine heart was breaking. I didn't want to leave my nemesis broken. The thought of her suddenly without a safety net, collapsing with her family... "Can I help?"

"Can you help?" She sounded shocked. I heard another voice. The phone was put down. She was arguing with someone else. Maybe her husband?

The phone was picked up. "Linda?" I knew that voice!

"The changeling!"

"I have a name," replied the voice in a good natured way. "If you want to help, really want to help, tell me."

She was... "Are you her husband?"

"Do you?"

I glanced up to see my family had become engrossed in chatting with Twilight, who had taken up the hallway mirror and was chatting in return. It looked friendly, even if many of my kin were confused by the whole thing.

"If it doesn't hurt anyone, yes."

"Safe answer. Look, you have a way home, that much is obvious. You know how to get there, and you've gotten yourself back and forth, with your pony posterior intact. Get us there."

Was I being asked what I thought I was? "Is this what Swanson wants? She seemed fine being a human woman."

"I'll help her adjust. She won't be alone, and she won't have a... history following her. Can you do it or not? Get us there, and we'll be out of your mane."

This all felt so very extreme. "Can't she restart here? How bad is--"

"She made a lot of enemies chasing after your sudden gallop. She thought she was on top of it, she wasn't. It was her mistake, but it won't just go away, so I'd rather we did. I've enjoyed the cushy husband gig, helping out once in awhile but mostly just there. I'll be the provider now." I heard Swanson's loud squawk. "She'll learn to be loved." His voice dropped. "I'll learn to love. I'm willing to do this, will you help?"

Well, damn... "Your call was didn't include the number. Give me it, I'll save it, and call you as soon as I know what I actually can do."

"You're a good pony." A soft chuckle came through. "I knew that the first time I saw you. Sorry for putting the fear in you." He gave me his number and I saved it like I said, and we hung up.

I felt... empty. It was a victory, but where was the cheering and where was the sense of it? I didn't feel like I just bested great odds. I felt like I got my way by screaming louder and better than the competition. Yay me...

Tod sat down on a chair next to me. "What's wrong?"

I glanced over at him, but said nothing.

"You're going to make me say it." I said nothing. "Why the long face?"

Oh god. I put a hoof over my face and he chuckled. "No, really, what's wrong? That phone call looked rough."

Should I tell him? I didn't feel like keeping anymore secrets. "That was the lady that would have thrown me in a dark box forever. Turns out she was fired. I... win. No one is after me."

"That's good, right?" He looked me over. "Being a pony is odd, huh? I got to try it out once before. It was cool."

I perked an ear at that. "You did, huh?" I smiled a little. "Did your tail tickle your bottom?"

"It did!" He burst into laughter at that. "I guess 'real' ponies stop feeling it after a while."

I asked him how his experience as a pony went, and he told me, and how they found me, and what it felt like to be a pony. It was nice, just talking to Tod, listening to his adventure. It was... good to hear someone other than me had a touch with the impossible.

Author's Note

Please move your tray into the upright position as we come in for our landing.

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99 - Going Home

I heard tense female notes. A peek revealed that Roy was speaking to his wife, who looked unhappy. I turned my ears towards them and it came into clarity.

"Look, I..." She slumped a little before jerking upright. "You know."

"You said we'd restart, do it right after the party."

She waved a hand vaguely around. "What party? Everything has gotten more and more insane. I'm glad you all are putting up a unified front, it's nice, but it's just another hair on the back, and I think this camel's done."

He looked miserable, though I was fairly sure he was trying to control himself.

My bow suddenly itched fiercely. Shooting them would drive right past the layers of crud between them and get to the heart of the matter. I could save their marriage! I pulled the bow free and put an arrow in the closer arm of either of them in a flash.

They squeaked with surprise before the arrows faded into them.

Her eyes half-lidded. "I don't love you," she suddenly confessed. "I want to. I want to, but I just don't... I feel like we're just going through the process, for appearances, for Tod, for each other... For anything but ourselves."

"I don't want to be alone," Rod confessed. "It's hard work. I just want someone there for me."

"I can't be that person," she replied with a sad tone. "I can't."

"Was it all a lie?"

She smiled a little at that. "I loved you, for years... But that fire went out. I meant what I said when I said that vow."

"The vow was supposed to be forever." He drew back half a step, going silent a moment. "But... I'm being a heel if I insist on you staying where you aren't... happy."

My interference had just made their breaking all the cleaner. That was not my goal. There was nothing I could do about it though... I crept away before I made a further mess of that.

The party was thoroughly cancelled.

It was time to go home. I gave and was given a hug by either of my parents, but no kisses. I suppose I might have been slow to smooch a gender swapped alien that had once been my daughter. Well-wishes were given, and we departed. I was a pony. The rest were humans. There was a problem. I pointed at the new human. "She doesn't have identification, or a ticket. How do we get her home?"

Starlight raised a hand, wriggling her fingers. "Oh, that's easy. She's not coming like that."

"I'm not?"

She shook her head. "Afraid not. This may tickle a bit." Soon we had an adorable pony doll. It was Night, as a pony, as a plush. Starlight hugged the new toy close and we made our way to the airport. Night got no vote in the matter. I made a quiet mental note to make up for the unannounced magical tomfoolery.

The driver was surprised to see me, but in a good way. "You're that horse!" He was very polite, really, offering to adjust the seat for my comfort and making sure I was belted in before the questions came. I spent the entire way explaining what being a horse was like. Trixie and Starlight were poorly hiding smiles when we stepped out onto the airport terminal.

People looked over as we made our way inside. Some people recognized me, some didn't. Both talked about it loudly, with some explaining to others what I was. I tried to pay them little mind but an occasional smile and making sure to be polite. I was a face for ponykind, all of it. I had to make sure it was a good face.

When I checked in my luggage and presented my identification, the counter helper peered at it and me. "You don't look like this," she pointed out fairly accurately.

I dug out my hospital release forms. "I've been in an accident. Legal actions are pending, and I can't update my identification until I get home." I pointed at the ticket. "Which is where I'm going. I have alternative forms of identification if it would assist? Credit cards, birth certificate, social security card?"

She glanced past my equine face to the line and back at me, clearly uncertain. A coworker tapped her on the shoulder. "He's that horse, let him go home."

"Oh." She handed my ID back to me. "Um, have a nice flight?"

The TSA agent was less confused and more alarmed. "You, woah, stop right there." When I stopped, he seemed pleased. "Good girl." He looked past me to the rest of the line. "Who's horse is this?"

"Do horses typically wear pants?" I asked with a cocked brow. "I have a boarding pass."

"Horses are not permitted on planes." He didn't sound like he was thinking it through much.

"Horses are entirely legitimate passengers if they are assisting a ticket carrying passenger." I raised a hoof to point at myself. "Being a ticket carrying passenger, can I go now?"

"Who... are you assisting?"

Starlight stepped forward. "He's my guide pony."

"One... moment." He made a quick call on his walkie talkie, and got an answer back just about as fast. "Yeah, go ahead." He sounded doubtful of the whole thing, but he wasn't stopping us. A victory!

Standing on two legs as a pony is awkward, but just because I was equine didn't mean I got to skip the scanner, so up I went and balanced awkwardly until they finished checking me for anything more unusual than my fur coat and fuzzy ears. Coming back to all fours, I bonked my nose on the glass. Why hadn't anyone designed these things to be pony friendly?

Trixie didn't have any explosives on her. That was nice...

We arrived at the gate to be intercepted by one of the airline employees. "You're boarding first, as a kindness for your unfortunate trip."

I wasn't born the day before. They wanted to get the pony out of the airport as quickly as possible. I had been seen by enough people. Any point I was trying to make was made for that leg of the journey. "So long as my friends can come with me." I waved a hoof at Trixie and Starlight, and soon we were all boarded and seated in the first class seats I had purchased what felt like years before.

As it turned out, laying back in a human chair wasn't nearly as bad as balancing on hind legs. I blamed it on not having to support myself. The cushy chair was fine for laying on. The flight attendants treated me like anyone else. I think falling back on their regular proceedings was helping them, and I wasn't giving them any reason, besides appearance, to deviate from that. I had no special requests. I was just a pony in first class. Nothing special there.

Partway through the flight, I felt my tail being tugged on. I barely had to turn my head. Eyesight is different for horses. I could see all around me. The trick was that I wasn't used to it, so I tended to focus on what was closer to the center of my vision. There was a child that had escaped their parent and was casually inspecting my new limb. I thwipped her little face with the tail and she sneezed at the ticklish sensation before darting away to the sound of her alarmed mother.

Neither Starlight nor Trixie were as awe struck as their first time. They focused on each other, playing various games together. I considered a nap, but couldn't relax enough for it. I dug out my phone and got to work. It remained a bit surprising to me that unicorn magic worked on touch screens, but I had no complaints. I thought my words, and spent my time productively as we soared through the sky.

Departing the plane was a whole other matter.

I stepped free of the boarding bridge, first off the plane. Flashes blinded me instantly. Cameras were clicking wildly. An official-looking man approached with a smile. "Welcome back, Linda Frohein. We hear your trip to the East Coast was... eventful."

That was one word for it. "Hello." I wasn't sure what else to say to the stranger or the many others that were watching us. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here for you." He produced an envelope and offered it towards me. "Your new identification."

I took hold of it in my magic and tore it open curiously in the twinkle of my horn's influence, the flashes picking up to capture the act. Inside was a Californian driver's license. It had all of my details, updated with what the hospital had recorded. There was a picture of me, as a pony. It had my name. It was official. I was Linda Frohein, the male pony. I fought against the smile that wanted to come free. "Thank you." I glanced at the mob of reporters and stepped to the side to let other people get off the plane behind me.

Starlight smiled at the man. "That's really thoughtful of you."

Trixie nodded. "Trixie takes back what she said earlier."

No one asked what Trixie said earlier. The man gestured ahead. "Are you still fit to drive?"

I nodded quickly at that. "I should be good to go from here."

"Good. If you suffer any other symptoms, let us know. You're the first known case of this awful condition, but likely not the last."

Condition? My ears went up at that. "Pardon?"

"Spontaneous Equine Disorder, or SpED, as it's being called." He nodded severely. "Fortunately, it's not contagious, but there is no known cure for it. We'll be in contact, have a safe trip home."

He didn't try to follow as we went forward, but the reporters were another story. They crowded close and bombarded us with questions. Amusingly, being hounded by them wasn't a first for me. I had been in a few higher profile cases. The trick was to keep moving. I wasn't entirely silent though. If they asked a reasonable question, they got a reasonable answer.

Yes, I felt fine. No, I wasn't in pain. Yes, I would go back to work. No, I didn't want special treatment. Yes, I could pick things up just fine, they just saw that.

We grabbed our luggage and left them all behind. I was home. California. My new home. New, old, it was still mine, and I was glad to be there. I was done with traveling for the moment, or planes, or family, or all of that. I wanted to curl up someplace dark and forget the world existed for a little while.

Arriving home, I went straight for the door and had it unlocked in a jiff. I threw it open and stepped forward and almost crashed into someone I had forgot in all of the everything that had gone on. There was my roomie. My once-maybe-lover was giving me a wry smirk. "Welcome home. Hey Starlight, Trixie."

They returned his little wave, but his eyes were on me, not them. Kevin and I met eyes for an awkward moment. I broke it with a soft snort. "How's the house been?"

"It's good." He stepped aside. "So, you're a pony now?"

"Pretty completely." I walked past him. "I thought I was on vacation, but work followed me along."

"I know that feeling." He sat on the back of the couch. "I got a promotion."

Trixie clapped her hands as she came in. "Congratulations! At the building business?"

"Nope." He shook his head. "You're speaking to your new contact and head of the facility you're building."

I turned to him. "They... put you in charge of the ponies?"

"And changed the mission." He pushed up to his feet. "We were never holding aliens, that's stupid. Just some Americans with this new disease that you've gone and shoved into the spotlight. I've been authorized to have the way back to Equestria opened where they can reach it, and they can leave. Those that don't will be properly entered into the records."

Starlight raised a brow. "And the unicorns?"

"Same deal. If they want to go, they go. If they stay, they pay taxes like everyone else. No more freeloading."

Author's Note

Kevin gets a promotion, yay!

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101 - How Things Go

It couldn't be that simple, of course not.

We were invited back with open arms to place a permanent exit point for the ponies, and most went for it without hesitation. A load of unicorns arrived to be sent back as well.

A quick tally showed there were two missing. I asked about it. "I can't answer that," replied Kevin with a little shrug. "They're safe, and they had the same choice as the others."

What had they offered, to get them to stay, to help them? Ultimately, however, it really was past my control. I had done as I was asked to and gotten the ponies home.

Night dipped her head at me. "I can't wait to go back and return to being a nurse." She wasn't a doll anymore. I had treated her to a day out just for her. We saw a movie she wanted to see, My Little Pony, perhaps unsurprisingly. She claims they got the details all wrong, but she had enjoyed it. "Thank you, for all of this." She pointed a hoof up at me. "If you're ever in Equestria, look me up. I owe you a day out in return." With a smile that echoed her relief, she vanished into frame we had built for the purpose.

It seemed 'we' humans liked our border security too. The frame could be collapsed at a moment's notice, closing the portal. The Equestrian side, I was told, was equally rigged to only permit one person at a time and be deactivatable easily.

"She will miss you." Trixie offered a hoof towards me. "But she is certain you will miss her more, then come looking for her. Equestria will be there, if you change your mind."

Starlight cocked a brow, standing beside her friend. "I don't think she needs our permission. You could go back anytime you wanted, couldn't you?"

I had no assurance we weren't being watched, and I decided to err on the side of safety. "I haven't since I became a pony full time." I gave both an equine hug, and off they went, back to the life they had put on hold to join me in my adventures.

After some research, Swanson's problem seemed quite straightforward. With her married, quite officially, and an open invitation for ponies to vacate, there was nothing stopping them from just leaving if they wanted. She had a passport, as is proper for crossing national borders, and there wasn't much else to it.

Not that they saw it that way at first, but I played lawyer for her. She was well within her rights to accompany her husband back to his native country, and eventually they agreed. They slipped through when I wasn't even there, so I didn't get a chance to say any goodbyes. Maybe that was for the best?

It's a funny thing. I don't even feel angry at her anymore. I hoped she found happiness. Equestria seemed like a fine enough place for that end, if she avoided any mythological creatures with a bad attitude.

"True." A princess had come to visit my screen at work, but it wasn't the usual one. Celestia looked at me with a sad little smile. "Twilight assisted with reaching you... I just wanted to say--"

She was suddenly knocked aside to make room for Luna. "We are sorry for our behavior, but even with your bold actions, this matter is not settled. We have begun returning humans we find that wish to be returned, but there are more, outside Equestria, and outside your 'America'."

Celestia nudged her sister aside gently. "What my sister says is true, but I am glad we have made our first step towards peace. The ponies you have helped return are overjoyed, to speak nothing of their friends and family."

Luna nodded quickly. "Which is precisely why we must repeat this performance."

Celestia frowned. "We weren't going to bring that up now!"

Luna rolled her eyes. "He is not simple-minded, I am certain he had already guessed."

As it turned, I had. I smiled at the two. "Let me finish the company's big project. They still want that town built, half because they already budgeted for it and the government isn't fast. After that, we'll see if we can't round up some international ponies."

Celestia reached a hoof towards me, hitting the screen with a faint tap. "You are... welcome back. We won't do that, not again... You don't need to hide from us."

Luna frowned a little. "Your body remains. It appears to be in good repair, but you don't visit it. Have we frightened you that badly?"

Yes. They really had in a way. "I'm fine," I lied plainly. "Let me do my job, then we'll see about yours."

Luna nodded and wandered off, leaving Celestia behind.

Celestia smiled thinly. "I suppose I cannot blame you, but I am happy that our hasty action did not turn your heart away from doing what is right by so many others. You protected my little ponies, and for that, I am thankful." She tilted her head faintly. "Are they treating you well? You are one of few ponies in an alien land. It must be bothersome."

"It is." I resumed typing then, clicking the keys with thoughts. "But it's not all that bad. I have a g--marefriend now."

Celestia's ears went straight up. "Are they a mare?"

"Human," I replied. "She doesn't seem to mind her husband having a fur coat and a tail." Or, perhaps, she just liked ponies, and a well-paid one that didn't leave the toilet seat up was extra points. She was great, really. We had other things going besides her like of equines. "And you?"

Celestia's expression fell into that careful neutrality, though I could see some faint hurt there. "No rest for princesses, alas. There are things to be done, and hunting a temporary distraction is not high among them. I wish you and yours well, Tr--Linda? Do you still go by Linda?"

I nodded at the screen as I hammered out my email. "It's my legal name, and I'm not feeling the urge to change it. A horse named Linda isn't any odder than most other names." I hit send with a satisfied smile, another fire put out. "Being a pony isn't so bad, now that I have proper legal protections." It was a privileged statement. A poor person in my shoes, I did have shoes, they slip on and off easily and are adorable! Where was I? Right, a poor person would have seen the entire situation far differently.

"And being male?" Celestia raised a brow. "You were born the other way, haven't you said?"

"And now I am not." I raised a hoof to my chest even as I continued checking my mail. Multitasking reached a new level as I grew more talented with my magic. "I'm a pony, and I'm mostly alright with that. My wife certainly doesn't mind my being male."

Celestia blushed faintly at that. "I should imagine not..." She glanced away and back. "I could not speak with certainty, but children seem unlikely. Does that bother you?"

I imagined my wife's smiling face. "If... it did happen, I think she would squeal with joy, and also be scared half to death. If not, well, we continue doing as we have been. I will do my best, as a husband, or father, or both." What would a half-pony look like? Would we have satyrs or centaurs or some other strange mixing of species, if it's possible at all? I couldn't say it was or was not. How many chromosomes did ponies have?!

I shook away the thought. "It was nice catching up with you, Celestia."

She returned the sentiment, and faded away, leaving me to work.

"Sorry to bother you." I was at home, and Twilight was on my television, smiling quite nervously. "Oh, Misses Frohein, hello there." She waved a hoof amiably.

"Susan works fine," she assured, looking quite interested in the royal pony. "And you are Twilight Sparkle. You're even cuter 'for real'."

Twilight giggled at that, blushing a little. "Thank you, but, Linda, I need to talk to you. It seems a human child with a relation to you has snuck into Equestria, and he has no interest in returning. If they were an adult, that would be another matter, but I am very certain this--"

A colt poked up from beneath Twilight suddenly, entering our field of view. He was that gangly between phase between colt and stallion. "Hiya Auntie!"

"... Tod?"

Tod bobbed his equine head. "Uh huh. Look, I'm a unicorn like you." He pointed a hoof at his little nub of a horn. "Must run in the family!"

"Does your father know where you are?"

He looked guilty.

"Twilight, I'll call him and tell him what's going on, promise. Keep Tod safe."

Twilight nodded quickly. "Of course. Any cousin of yours is welcome. Besides, he's been quite friendly, if a little rambunctious, as one expects of a colt his age."

Tod stuck out his equine tongue. "How was I supposed to know--"

Twilight put a hoof on his lips, silencing him. "I already forgave that, just, let's... not do that again." Her eyes returned to me and Susan. "You two take care, and I'm glad I was able to reach you quickly."

She faded away and I had a father to call. It seemed my life was unlikely to become 'calm' ever again, but it wasn't a bad one.

I was pretty alright with it.

I would be an adult. It just happened to be a magical stallion adulthood, and that was just fine.

Author's Note

I'm going to put a little ribbon on this right here.

If it helps, Kevin totally gets a mare, eventually. Kevin and Linda never become a thing, but both are happy and friends, and that's not a bad ending I don't think.

I do hope you enjoyed this journey with me, and now it's time for me to head to Texas.

1 - Close Your Eyes. Open Your Eyes.

Hello there. My name is Linda, and this is my story.

I checked my alarm one last time. I had important things to do the next day, and didn't want to be late. Confident that all was in order, I snuggled in under the covers, closed my eyes, and was out like a lamp.

But not for long, I discovered. No sooner had I nodded off than I found myself suddenly conscious. Conscious and trapped. I was being firmly held all over. I couldn't breathe! I tried to pull and heave, to little avail at first, but suddenly I heard a loud crack and blessed air reached my frantic mouth.

A thin shell of stone began to fall away from me, tumbling to the stone dais I was standing on with my hooves... why did I have hooves? I held my altered arms out in front of my face as details began to come to me. One, those were legs, not arms. Two, I had a snout poking out into my vision.

I realized I was far from my bed and paused my self-examination with a sudden sense of danger. I was out in the open. I was also some kind of animal, from that first glance. A hooved animal, I had to guess, what with the hooves and all.

Looking around with a building sense of panic, I could see there were other platforms. Each had a statue of a horse on them, many holding something as if their hooves were actually hands. Some looked happy, some pensive, and one of them... was me?

I looked down at my horsey chest and saw dark blue fur. I was not made of stone. Did the other statues have horses inside of them?

I heard a faint clip-clop. Something was coming! I hopped down off my platform on alien legs and almost fell over for my effort, but managed to hide in time for another living horse to wander in, wielding a rake.

The rake was quite odd, seeing as the horse wasn't holding it at all. It just floated along and moved on its own, glowing gently as it did so. Magic? I was in a land of magical horses, of course. It was just like that show my niece had mentioned that time. My Pretty Horse? Something like that.

That horse wasn't paying me any mind. Maybe I was hiding well enough, but he just wandered along, raking leaves and tidying up the garden, at least until he arrived at my platform and gaped up at the missing statue there. "Princess's gonna be mad," he muttered to himself before turning to trot away in a hurry.

Princess? Was she a good princess, or the evil kind? If she could get angry... she could still be either. Would my presence be welcomed, or horrifying? Forget that! I didn't sign up for adventures in magical horse land, or to become a horse. I held out a hoof to look it over, then twisted to give the rest of myself a going over. I had a light cyan tail that I could move after staring at it and concentrating. Great, that was... fantastic.

I lifted a rear leg and took a peek, just to practically fall over. I did not have the parts I was expecting. In hindsight, that had been silly of me, since if I was a lady horse, the parts I was looking for would be pretty much behind me, not under me. Second, those were not lady parts at all. I was hanging, like a horse. Like a stallion to be more specific about it.

Though unrelated to my gaining of masculinity, my brain skipped, just putting together another piece of things. "That horse talked," I said out-loud, confirming that I, too, could talk despite being a horse.

Perhaps it was the panic, but my thoughts were jumping around without much in the way of a smooth pattern. I suddenly thought of all the other statues. Most of them were holding something. Where was my thing?

I hopped up, my forehooves supporting my on the edge of the platform as I peered over the top. There, a bow, and a quiver. How on Earth did a horse make use of those?! Well, they were... mine? I guessed anyway. I reached out a hoof and couldn't quite reach, which is when I felt a warmth in my forehead.

I glanced up and went cross-eyed focusing on a growth I had up there. A horn?! "I have a fricken horn?!" Two horns, technically. I had a horn above and below, lucky me. I laughed sardonically at my little joke before the quiver from before bopped me right in the nose. It was glowing like the rake the gardener was using. Was I doing that?

I held out a hoof and imagined the quiver sliding into place, and it did, just like that. I giggled, even if it was lower than I was used to, more of a chuckle really. I was a magical horse in magical horse land. I was a pretty pretty unicorn stallion, the fantasy of many doe-eyed little girls, come to whisk them away to a land of fantasy where they could be pretty pretty princesses and live happily ever after!

Bonk. The bow had bumped up against me. I was really scatterbrained in the shock of it all and must have taken the other half of the set. I only noticed then that the arrows had hearts at the end instead of lethally sharp points. Was I a statue of a love stallion? Could I make people fall in love? That would be...

I sank to my haunches, the bow falling over me and hanging awkwardly. It was too much.

"Are you certain?" came a mature female voice.

"Sure as the sun in the sky," replied that gardener from before.

I should have hidden, but I was too busy overloading on everything, so I mostly just sat there while a very large white horse with a flowing mane of brilliant shades came in beside the gardener.

They spotted me there. I did have the sense to try to hide, but only after already being seen, which made it quite a useless gesture as I scurried behind the platform clumsily.

The large white horse nodded to the gardener. "I will take it from here. Have somepony come later to clean this mess, please."

I could hear the gardener walking off, then the large horse coming closer. She had wings, and a horn. Did I have wings? No. No wings, just the horn.

"True Shot?" she called gently. "Is that really you?"

Who the hell was True Shot? I sure didn't know.

"True?" She slowly circled the platform and I scurried to keep it between us, panicking. It didn't keep up for long, however. Her horn glowed and it felt like I was being held in the warmest blanket. She lifted me up gently. "True Shot! But... how? This... Are you alright?"

I was dangling there in her magic. Her voice was kind, her expression was concerned. Even her magic felt benign and gentle. I started to feel a little silly fearing her as I had. She had the answers I needed. "I'm sorry," I said in my new stallion voice. "I'm not 'True Shot'. My name is Linda, and I have no idea what's going on."

The large horse flinched, looking immeasurably sad for the briefest instant. "I see... Linda? Is that not a mare's name?"

She could see that I was not a mare, what with me dangling there in front of her. "Y-yeah, a woman, specifically. I wasn't--"

My alarm went off with the the loud grating buzz that I had purchased it for. I sat up like a bolt, panting. I thrust out a hand. Yep, hands...

Had it been a dream? It had to have been...

I had things to do, so I tried to focus on them. I finished writing up the grant paper that was only a day away from deadline. I had some meetings with important people. I had places to go.

And yet... the dream refused to leave me. It had been so... I could smell things, feel things. It was so... It was as if I had been there. That was, of course, ridiculous, or so I had decided. I shoved it all as far from my mind as I could, soldiering through the day and getting all the things done that were expected of me.

But, eventually, it was time for bed again. I wasn't so quick to fall asleep. What if I had that same dream? What if I didn't wake up?

I snorted at that thought. That was getting silly. It was just a dream. I really had to grow up. I also really had to get some sleep. I had another day, blessed Friday, before I had any days to myself. So, more sleep, less freaky dreams.

Resolved, I settled in, closed my eyes, and was suddenly trapped again.

The urge to panic wasn't as strong. Was I a statue again? I gave a firm heave and the shell broke, allowing me to slowly free myself. I could see that I had been petrified in the same position that I had been in when the large horse had been holding me. It was morning again in that magical place. Had they had a day in the time I had a day?

There was a scroll placed on the stand. As I brushed off bits of stone with a hoof, the scroll lifted up and came closer because I wanted a look at it. I unrolled it with a thought. The writing was... not English, but I could read it anyway, as if I could hear that large horse speaking in my head. Maybe this body knew the language enough to translate it? Was that even remotely possible? About as possible as becoming a transgender magic horse, I supposed.

Hello Linda,

I am aware that this missive may rest forever unread, but if you do return, please know that you are not unwelcome here if you come with peaceful intentions. I am Princess Celestia, and the form you reside in is True Shot, a dear friend from long ago. He... passed, as all good ponies must in time, and I had this statue constructed in his likeness to keep his memory alive. I never believed it would become the host of another. If you are reading this, look around until you see the large castle, that is mine. Travel there and bring this scroll with you and the guards will allow you entry. We have much to discuss, if you are willing.

My magic rolled up the scroll with barely a thought as I circled around until the large castle came into view. It was right out of a fable. The fable I was living. So, I was her old friend. Her old, dead, friend, come back to life. That was kind of creepy. Wait, she said he died of old age, but she didn't seem old. That was odd.

I had two basic choices. Wander off, or take up Celestia on her offer. Of the two, Celestia seemed the smarter choice. She was offering answers, and she seemed like the nice kind of princess. I hopped down from the dais and began slowly walking towards the castle, even if that meant... a hedge maze.

It gave some time to think, just meandering through there. I used to have a nice maze in a park near where I lived. I'd walk it for hours, thinking about things. That wasn't any different, and I thought, and felt my new body. The play of alien muscles was exhilarating and disconcerting all at once. I was a stallion, and not a poorly-shaped one, so far I could tell. I felt powerful, and able. I also had a bow and some heart arrows of unknown intent.

I emerged from the hedge maze to find other horses. Some wore gleaming golden armor and stood at rigid attention, while others were dressed in expensive-looking fineries and walked around with an air of self-importance.

I suddenly felt quite naked, being the only one in sight that wasn't wearing something and I doubted my quiver counted for much. I looked around nervously, but none of the other horses seemed very alarmed by my presence, though they clearly saw me.

One of the guards approached. "Excuse me, sir. The hedge maze requires permission to wander. You shouldn't be in there."

I jerked back to the present. "Oh, yeah. Here." I floated over the scroll.

The guard looked confused, but accepted the scroll in his hooves and unfurled it quickly. His eyes scanned rapidly. "I see. This way, please." He turned away and began walking. It wasn't the walk I did. It was bouncier, and faster. I hadn't learned horse gaits. It wasn't a gallop, I was sure of that. What was it? Whatever it was, I tried to imitate it with clumsy success, and we entered the vaulted halls of the castle.

The guard spoke over his shoulder as we went, "Princess Celestia is attending court. You can wait for her here. If you require anything, simply ring the bell."

'Here' turned out to be a small waiting room, which seemed fitting enough for waiting. There was art... everywhere. The halls had art. The windows? Also art. Even the table, filled as it was with cookies and tea and other treats, also had bits of art on it. The candle set in the center looked exquisite. There was no doubt I was standing in a place meant for royalty. And horses.

"Thanks," I mumbled, a bit overwhelmed. "Say, could I ask a few questions?"

"Yes, sir?"

Sir. Right, I did have those parts. "Where are we?"

The guard blinked owlishly. "This is Canterlot Castle, part of the city of Canterlot, capital of Equestria."

Equestria... how... horse like. "And you are?"

"My name, sir?"

"No, what are you?"

The guard peered at me like I was a little out there, but he did answer, "I am an earth pony, part of the Celestial guard." Predicting my next question, he pointed at me. "You are a unicorn pony."

I looked back over myself. A pony? Well, a pony was mostly just a small horse, right? "So... Celestia's a horse then?"

The guard flinched faintly. "Please do not refer to Princess Celestia as a horse. She is a pony."

I held up my ha--hooves. sitting on my haunches to not topple over in the act. "No offense intended, promise."

"If you require anything further." He pointed at a bell on the table, nodded, and did his jumpy-jog out of the room.

I was alone. I also had a lot of delicious smelling treats. Well... It was just a dream, so eating a little wouldn't mess with my diet, right? I wanted one of those raspberry-filled cookies, and it hopped up and floated over to my open mouth. My teeth came down on it and I let out a soft moan of delight. It was delicious, light, and melted against the tongue. It was everything I wanted a cookie to be!

I had another before serving myself some of the tea to wash it down.

As I availed myself, I almost didn't hear the door opening. I glanced over to see Celestia stepping in.

She nodded at me. "Linda, I presume?" There was a faint hint of hope there.

I had to dash it. "Yeah, sorry." I wasn't her 'True Shot', nor could I ever really be.

Celestia shook her head. "No, it's alright. You have done nothing wrong." She reached out and tapped at my quiver. "Do you know what this is?"

I did not, and shook my head. "Not a clue."

"They were just stone replicas, but I... The original set was an artifact won by True Shot. When fired at two ponies quickly, they would be drawn towards one another. If they were of compatible inclination, the magic would reinforce it and love would blossom swiftly. If not, a harmless conversation." She nudged the quiver again. "I would urge you to caution with them. I could not say for certain if whatever magic has allowed you to inhabit True Shot's form has also endowed them with life."

They were Cupid's Arrows?! "Doesn't it hurt somebody, you know, being shot with literal arrows?"

Celestia gave a wan smile at that. "They pinch a little, but the sensation passes quickly."

How did... Oh. "He shot you, didn't he?"

Pink spread across her cheeks faintly. "He had it in mind that my perfect companion was out there, somewhere, and strived to find it. He was a pain in my flank, quite literally." A soft sigh echoed forth from her large lungs. "I miss him." She leveled a gold-clad hoof at me. "Let us speak of you. Linda, yes? Welcome to Equestria. What do you intend?"

What did I intend? That was a big question. "This is the craziest dream I ever had."

Celestia blinked at that. "This is no dream from where I sit, but I suppose anypony asked in a dream would say much the same. I would encourage you to treat it seriously, especially if ever you are tempted to use those arrows. You mentioned you were a mare before coming here?"

"A woman," I corrected. "Human, homo sapien, which is a really cocky name when there are other talking species around come to think."

Celestia gestured over my form. "And here you are, a stallion of ancient repute. True Shot is a legendary figure, though few are learned enough to consider the story deeply. Foals are taught he will appear like a faerie to bring true love's touch with his magic arrows." She smiled. "In some, he is a pegasus, others, a unicorn, and others yet, an alicorn."

"Alicorn?"

She spread her wings even as she indicated her horn. "Those of us who have both horn and wings. We are the royalty of Equestria. While dear True Shot was a wonderful soul, he... Well, to start, he was a he. Stallions do not easily cross that barrier. In fact, none have in recorded history."

Magical ponies were sexist? "Well, I'm not really a he."

She raised a brow. "By most definitions, you certainly are, though if your heart and soul are female, who knows." She lifted her shoulders. "Do you intend to take up his work? We have a princess of love now. You could be competing with her."

I had to laugh, so I did. "Seriously?"

"Quite. Her name is Cadance. She is quite kind, and would likely enjoy meeting you, but she lives far to the north, in the Crystal Empire." She started suddenly. "I... see our time is running out. I'm glad we had longer to speak today."

What did she mean? I followed her eyes down to my hooves to see they had already gone grey. I was turning to stone, smoothly and quickly. It didn't hurt. It actually tingled pleasantly now that I knew it was happening. Did that mean I was waking up? "See you tomorrow?"

"Be well, Linda, heir of True Shot." She bowed her head, and everything went dark.

I roused from sleep more naturally. I was up before the alarm had a chance to snap me awake. I had another day ahead of me, and got to meeting it. Crazy horse dreams would have to wait until the evening.

Author's Note

Let's start a new story!

Linda has been given a special gift, several if you think about it. Now what should she do with them?

What would you do?

Like, hate, please lemme know.

See a typo, pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck!

Done for one of my loyal atrons.

14 - Welcome Back

I woke up with the cool feel of stone against my fur from all sides. I heard something quiet, scratching of sorts, I thought. I flexed and burst free of my stony shell, sending bits of debris tumbling down. It always amazed me that it didn't make more of a mess in my pelt when I did that.

Revealed, Twilight was seated at a low desk, a quill in her magic. She had to have heard me, but she was still writing.

"She's busy," came Spike's voice as he walked in with a tray of teas. He set one beside the consumed pony before facing me. "Want one?"

That sounded nice, so I nodded and took one with a thought. "Thanks, Spike. How are things?"

He set the tray aside after claiming the third. "I had a feeling you'd wake up about now. Things are alright, but you're hanging around all the big important ponies too much." He tilted the cup at me. "You need to get a more grounded view of things."

Was that little dragon really trying to sound all mature and helpful? That was adorable. Why was everything in Equestria so cute? I smiled down at him and willed him up. Spike let out a surprised squeak before he landed on my back. "Alright, point the way."

He seemed all the more surprised. "Really?"

I could only assume he didn't always get his way. "Really. Let's be fast before one of the princesses notices I'm awake." I turned and trotted out into the hallway, glancing left and right. No sun or moon pony gods in sight, so on I went, making good my escape from the castle.

Spike grabbed hold of my mane, which didn't hurt as much as I would have thought it would. With one claw he pointed. "Wanna check out The Belfry? All the bats hang out there, they're cool, if a little creepy."

Creepy? Equestria could do creepy? I doubted it, so I had to see it. I accelerated into a lively canter and the Belfry came into view. How did I know? Well, there was a line of bat ponies waiting to get in. They had little fangs that protruded from their cute little snouts. They had the most adorable little tufts on their ears. Sure, they had slit eyes, but so did cats and that didn't stop me from thinking cats were cute too.

I moved to join the line, and the pony in front of me, a bat pony mare, turned to look at me over her shoulder. "Aren't you a classical slice. Did Celestia lose a statue in her garden?"

Was it that obvious? "Funny thing..."

"It was a joke." She smirked a bit. "You must be new around here." She turned to face me, and spotted Spike. "You, uh, have a dragon, uh, right there?" She pointed at her own back with a wing as if she were pointing out a bit of food in my teeth.

I had to laugh, so I did. "This is Spike. He's the one that suggested I come here."

"Yeah!" cried Spike. "We're gonna see the sights!"

The mare raised a brow. "You do know he probably dragged you here because they wouldn't let him in."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Spike looking sheepish. Busted. "Spike, how old are you, exactly?" I turned to look at the mare. "How old do you have to be to come here?"

She shrugged. "You look fine." The way she said that seemed to have implications that went past age. "He, on the other hoof, looks like a kid."

Spike tapped two claws together, his pointer... claws? from either clawhand. "I'll be good, promise."

Aw. I wasn't about to shoot Spike down. "Don't worry about it. I'm your big brother for tonight."

He suddenly hugged me around the neck. "Thanks! Twilight'd never just 'hang out' at a place like this. I mean, there was this one time Discord tried, but that was game night!" He raised a claw. "There's a time and a place for all things, right?"

I had no idea what half the things he had just said were, but I'd heard of Discord. Voiced by John De Lancie! And... that's all I remembered. A fan favorite, for what that was worth, which I imagined to be very little while standing in the world itself. "Well, tonight is the right time and place to have some fun." I nodded at the mare. "Do you come here often?"

"I would if you were around." She was giving all the signs that she was interested. Considering we hadn't even got into the bar, I was a little wary.

Was I that handsome of a horse, or was something a bit amiss? Besides, I obviously had a passenger with me. It wasn't like I was going to ditch a kid like that to take her up on the offer.

I tried to just let it slide. "Spike says this place is very popular with..." I rolled a hoof. "Sorry, I'm a little new. I don't want to shove a foot in my mouth. What's the proper term?"

She flashed a grin, fangs exposed. "How polite! You wouldn't believe how many ponies just assume we're bats and don't even give it a second thought." She threw her head towards the castle we had come from. "We're lunar pegasi, named after Luna. Have you met her?"

I had, and admitted as much.

She seemed surprised. "You really are..." She raised a hoof at my bow that hung off of me. "You know how to use that? What's with the heart arrows?"

Spike suddenly grabbed the bow. It was easy to forget he had fingers, and he was pulling on the string. "This thing's amazing!"

"Amazing, huh? Why's that?"

Spike grabbed an arrow out of my quiver and I grunted. There was no happy ending in sight and I grabbed for him with my magic, but he jumped down from my back and fired it at the mare. Spike was not me. The arrow curved smoothly through the air and plunked him right in the heart. He squeaked and dropped the bow, but the arrow faded quickly and he didn't seem hurt.

I reclaimed the bow and set it back on my side. "Spike, that bow is for my use only. Besides, that's not responsible."

He rubbed his chest a little. "It wasn't responsible when you shot me and Twilight, but you did that anyway."

It was true, I had. "Sorry." I dipped my head. "It all ended alright, didn't it?"

Spike waved it off. "I'm just saying, why can't I have a turn?"

The mare cleared her throat. "It's about our turn. So does that do anything besides poke ponies?"

The temptation was there. I could feel the arrows were primed. I was pretty sure it'd be harmless. Once I had set my mind to accepting the idea, the bow was out and firing almost instantly.

The mare jumped in surprise, but it caught her in one of her extended wings. Her eyes widened before they sank halfway, looking at Spike, who was looking back at her with equal intensity.

Spike nodded at her. "You are a pretty pony, but my heart is already sworn to the most captivating unicorn in all the lands," he said dreamily. "Oh sweet Rarity, her charms only remind me all the more of your perfection."

I blinked at that. He must really be fallen hard to be thinking of her even when prompted to speak his mind on the other mare.

The lunar pegasus shook her head a little. "You're in my way." She pointed a hoof at me. "I'm supposed to get him to come with me and you're ruining the whole thing!"

The effect faded with the sharpness in both their eyes returning. She went a dark red, trembling with fury. Without a word, she flapped her wings and flew off in a dart.

Spike scratched behind his head. "What was all that about?"

My arrows had more uses than I had originally thought... "Trouble... Spike, would you be too mad if I called this little adventure off?"

"Aw..."

"Sorry, but I could turn into a statue at any time, and I suddenly don't feel so safe." I turned away from the club and started walking back to the castle. Spike hurried to catch up and climbed easily onto my back. It was kind of weird having someone ride me like that, but he wasn't very heavy and it didn't slow me down at all, so I let it slide as I had before. I was a horse. Horses give rides. It's only natural.

As I trotted into the front gate of the castle, a guard approached me. "Sir True Shot, the princesses left orders to ask you to report to court when you returned."

Court? "I don't know where that is." I gently plucked Spike up with my magic and set him aside. We met, claw to hoof in a friendly gesture before he wandered off. "Show me where that is?"

He led the way with a formal walk, guiding me down new hallways until we arrived at a large set of double doors that were already open. Beyond them I could see a sort of indoor amphitheater with rows on rows of well-dressed ponies seated facing the front where Celestia sat on an elevated chair and other ponies were speaking just before her.

The guard pointed to an empty seat, then departed. The meaning seemed clear, so I quietly walked over to it, squirming past the other courtiers to settle on the spot that was available. I wondered what Celestia wanted to talk about. Maybe they were going to chastise me for wandering off without their permission, but we had never established I needed any. Hmm.

Below, the pony was discussing the need for education reform in Canterlot. Something about districts being too large and the unreasonable distance students had to travel to arrive in crowded classrooms. It was a classic debate. It was a little saddening to know ponies had the same problems.

Celestia seemed like a much nicer face to deal with than most politicians in the human world. She promised to review the proposal and consult with experts about its feasibility, and the petitioner was dismissed.

Celestia coughed into a hoof. "I must breach decorum. We have a matter of history with us tonight." She gestured right at me. "Joining us, I present True Shot, the legendary archer, whose tales of romanticism and heroism still are whispered with awe."

Have you ever had every single eye in a stadium turn towards you at the same moment? That was me. I tried to smile a little, forcing it. "Hello..."

Author's Note

Pony life couldn't stay nice and simple and adorable? Clearly this is the real typo!

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27 - Time Passes

Things were settled, in a way. We were in a holding pattern, and nothing exploded. Twilight left as she said she would, and I was left with Spike, Big Mac, and... Discord.

"We have a new player?" he asked, adjusting his very Robin Hood like cap.

Spike gestured at me. "Yeah, hope neither of you minds. Meet True Shot!"

I nodded to both of the newer ponies, if Discord could be called that. "Nice to meet you. So, this is like Dungeons and Dragons, right?"

Discord cocked a brow. "With half the trademarks."

Spike and Big Mac looked baffled at that, but I was intrigued. "You know what that is then?"

Discord shrugged. "I don't have time to keep track of all the nerdy activities everywhere." He leaned towards me, eyes traveling up and down. "Now aren't you an interesting... thing. We really should start a support group." The area was suddenly different, all four of us seated on little folding chairs. Discord stood up from his. "Thank you all for coming to the petrified survivors!"

I burst out laughing. "Thank you. You were stoned once as well?"

"Twice." He held up two fuzzy fingers. "They couldn't keep me down."

Spike hopped free of his chair. "Glad to see you two are getting along, but we should make True's character." He hiked a thumb at Discord. "He's already playing an archer, so we don't need one of those. What do you wanna play?"

I pouted faintly a moment, but only a moment. It was a game of pretend. I didn't need to pretend to be an archer when I already was one. "What are the options?"

Spike began rattling them off. Now, I hadn't played much of the game myself, but I had a basic idea, and it didn't sound all that different. I remembered a thing my college friends had told me. "You don't have a healer."

"Nope," agreed Big Mac.

Spike clapped his claws together. "You wanna be one? That'd be great!"

That seemed a fairly safe start. "Sure. Those are clerics, right?"

"Wha?" Spike and Big Mac looked confused.

Discord snorted. "We don't need a source of clerical errors, Truey."

Spike dashed off to the big table and came back with a blank sheet and a quill. "So you'll be a medic." He scribbled busily. "Unicorn?"

"Are you all playing what you are?" I asked curiously, glancing between them.

Big Mac suddenly looked flustered. "Nope."

I tried to guess what he was playing. "Are you playing a mare?"

He managed to go more red. "Nope! A unicorn."

Spike produced a little playing piece that showed Big Mac as a little cartoon with a horn and a floating sword beside him. "See?"

I nodded at the piece. That was less severe of a disconnect than cross-gender, not that I had even one leg to stand on regarding that, considering. "Well, I'll give that a try. I'll play a mare, and an earth pony."

Spike blinked with wide eyes. "Huh, alright." He wrote down the details, then... somehow, produced a little figure that looked like a gender flipped version of myself, without the horn. "Here you go!"

Discord rolled his eyes. "Are we playing the boring way?"

I looked between him and Spike. "There's a boring way?"

Spike returned to the table and set down the sheet and the new and old figure. "Discord's kinda good at magic. When he wants to, he can make the game alive! It's pretty amazing, but I thought we'd start you slow."

I blinked at that a little. "You're kidding." A second reality in my second reality? How deep could it go? "If it's more fun, I'm up for it."

With a snap of his fingers, Discord made it so.

I was not True Shot anymore. I felt smaller, and I didn't see a horn in the top of my vision. Peeking back revealed the softer lines of a mare. I was also standing in a grassy field where the others had also transformed. Discord had a full archer's kit, bow included. Spike looked liked an adorable little wizard, and Big Mac was fully armored with a sword on his back.

"Wow," I breathed out with a softer pitch of voice. I started at it before giving a female titter. I really was a mare. "Alright, so how do I do the healing thing?"

Big Mac seemed faintly put off, but didn't say anything. Spike picked up on it and waved at me. "It's a little complicated, but True's had experience on the, uh, other side before. She's fine." He bounced over to me and hopped up onto my back even more easily than he had when I was a stallion. He flipped open a saddlebag I hadn't noticed I was wearing and pulled out a roll of bandages. "Here you go!"

I willed the bandages to float over... nothing happened. Right, earth pony. I gave a sheepish smile before reaching with my mouth instead and holding it awkwardly. "Ready." I was amazed my words didn't slur more than they did. Pony magic, I decided.

"Good thing," said Discord, suddenly sounding serious. "I hear trouble approaching." He thrust a finger as several... huge game pieces appeared with goblins drawn on them. "To arms!"

Spike raised his staff and zapped one of the figures with an arcane bolt of power, sending it scurrying, but there were plenty more behind it to clash with Big Mac as he charged forward. Arrows were raining from the sky and it felt like complete bedlam.

I saw Big Mac had taken a few blows and decided I should do what I signed up to do. I broke into a gallop to rush up behind him and... How did those bandages work? I mean, I knew how a roll of gauze worked with fingers, but in my mouth?

I light bopped him with the bandages. Amusingly, that seemed good enough. "Thanks," he muttered before wading back into the thick of the battle. I had helped! It was a silly little thing, but I felt proud of myself, until two of them bounced on their round platforms towards me. Well, shoot.

Glancing behind me, I saw Spike was busy blasting other things. I decided to try to handle things on my own. It was a game, right? Why act scared. I reared up and lashed out a hoof, knocking one of them over.

It also made Spike fall right off me with a thud and a grunt of mild pain. "Hey!"

"Sorry."

The other goblin leaped at me, but fell short, several arrows poking out of its flat back. Discord gave me a thumbs up.

They were routed and fleeing. The battle was won.

I smiled with relief. "That didn't go too badly."

Big Mac nodded softly. "Nope."

And so the game continued. We made our way to a big tower that supposedly held some crazy artifact that would help save 'Schmarity'. I got to bop people on their boo-boos with my roll of bandages when I wasn't busy bucking at things that got too close. Ultimately, it was a lot of fun.

At the end of the session, Discord banished it all away and poof, I was a stallion again. Big Mac was an earth pony instead of a unicorn. We had traded places, in a way.

Discord and Spike shared some good-byes before Discord folded up on himself and vanished.

Big Mac looked like he wanted to talk, but he wasn't. He kept glancing at me and away, but no words came, so I decided to help. "Thanks for the game, Spike. I'm going to walk Big Mac home."

Spike looked slightly baffled. "Huh, alright." He shrugged and resumed cleaning up.

Big Mac looked even more nervous, but didn't turn me away as we walked out of the castle. Once outside and away from other ears, I reached out and gently nudged him. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothin'..."

I smiled gently. "That's a big nothing you have weighing you down. Go on, I won't get angry." I couldn't imagine anything he could say would be worth being angry about.

"Nope."

"I won't laugh," I tried. "Promise. Just between us."

Big Mac glanced away and back. "It's..." He stopped again.

We were still walking slowly towards his farm, but it would take a while to reach it. "Look, I can see you're nervous. It's alright. I won't tell another soul without your leave."

"Yer jus' sayin' that."

I flashed a grin. "What would Sir McBiggun say?"

Big Mac quirked a little smile in kind. "He would hold you to yer word." He looked away again. "What's it like?"

Like? "To be a mare?"

He shook his head and thrust a hoof up at my horn. "Ta have magic."

"I'm new to it myself." The answer seemed to confuse him. "It's nice. I can pick things up, use this bow." I turned to point with my snout at the bow at my side. "Being an earth pony was a different kind of nice. I felt powerful, like nothing could get in my way for long."

He smiled a little. "Ain't nothin' special."

I reached out and nudged him with a hoof. "I bet you could knock me over without even trying."

He went red. "Ah wouldn't do that."

"Because you have manners, not because you can't." I nodded lightly. "You're a good pony, and don't let anyone tell you different."

Big Mac went quiet a long moment. "So... ya been..." He went quiet again. A stallion of few words, but clearly he wanted to discuss something. "Other side?"

I remembered Spike's words quickly. I sorta wished he hadn't said that, but that cat had long since left that bag, and getting the feline back in wouldn't be practical. "I've been a woman before." I left out the part that I still was one more often than not.

He looked me up and down. There I was, a pony Adonis, with hopefully a less tragic end in store. "Huh..."

I had a feeling he had his doubts, but I wasn't sure how to prove anything, or if I even should try. "But that's just me. This is about you." I poked him in the chest. "What's on your mind?"

"Nope." I had hit a wall. He spoke all he was willing to speak that evening and he trotted off in a hurry.

I let him go. We didn't know each other that well that I could insist he keep going with any amount of confidence. It had taken some bravery on his part to even get that far. He wouldn't appreciate it, but I was proud of him and I gave a smile at the fleeing stallion. "You're a good pony," I repeated to the evening air before turning and walking back to the castle at a relaxed clip.

Author's Note

That chapter just flowed right out of me. It ended at the right spot too. Did you like it and all its emotional typos?

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42 - Home of Horses

The first thing I noticed as we entered the stalls was the smell. I was of two minds of it. On one end, it reeked of... animal. It wasn't overwhelming. They kept their place tidy, but it was the home of their horses and it would smell of them, like it or not.

On the other hand, I was a horse too, sort of. I could smell stallions, mares, and geldings that didn't quite smell like either. I couldn't tell much more than they existed in that space, but they were there. I glanced to Kevin, but he seemed ignorant of such things, as most humans should be. Was I still human? I decided I was, just with a tiny little extra added on. It wasn't time to have identity crises over being able to sniff out a horse.

Starlight was looking around with wide eyes until she locked onto a horse in a stall and hurried towards them. "Is this all the space they have?" She was checking out the ten by ten'sh space and the large animal that occupied it. She was a mare and nickered at Starlight with mild suspicion.

Our host came up beside Starlight. "They don't need much more than that, missy. Alright, confession time. You were raised with a little pony in your backyard, weren't you? That's literally the only way this comes together."

"Well, yes," said Starlight in a confessing tone. "I was raised with ponies. Why... I feel a certain... identity with them. These horses are far from ponies, but the kinship is there."

"Uh huh." He gestured at the mare. "This here's Abby. Come here, Abby, say hello." He lightly tapped the fence of the stall and made a little clicking noise of his own. Slowly, the mare did approach and he gently patted her on the bridge of her nose. "She's a shy one, but once she warms up, she loves company."

Something teased at me. Something spicy but so very subtle. Something that made me warm inside. Something about Abby, specifically, though I had no way to pin it down.

Starlight, on the other hand, had no such problem, and no restraint about it. "Well hello there, Abby." She reached and stroked the mare gently, only to yank it back when a nip was incoming. "Poor thing, horses don't handle their estrus very well."

The man stood straight. "What? She isn't scheduled for another week." He cocked a brow. "Wait, you bred ponies? How could you tell?"

Alarms went off in my head, and I decided to play the hippy card. "It's a talent of hers," I said, stepping in. "It freaked her parents out just as much, but it was a useful one, for the ponies."

Starlight nodded. "Of course." She didn't argue, good.

The man shook his head. "That's a hell of a talent. We'll have her checked out later to be sure. It'll save us some money if she's already receptive."

Starlight glanced around. "Where's her coltfriend?"

"Coltfriend? Her last colt's already big enough to be separate."

"Not her foal, the one you, um..." She rolled a hand helplessly.

Kevin spoke up, "The stallion."

"Oh, right!" He pivoted in place. "Just this way. As you can see, we take pride in a clean and friendly environment for our horses. We love them, each and every one, and we want them to be happy and healthy. But they aren't here just for fun either." He waved at the horses we went past, females and geldings. "Draft, racing, or riding, they each have a purpose. They do their job well, but they're part of our family. Now the stallion here," He gestured at a white and brown specimen. "He's not part of the family. We're renting him. He'll be helping Abby make stronger racers."

Stallion, for sure. I knew it even if I hadn't just been told. Somehow, the horse seemed to appraise me much the same way. The way he stood, the noise he made. He wasn't that happy to have me there, little odd stallion that I sort of was. I kept my distance, hoping the others could visit without incident.

Starlight looked over the massive horse with an appreciative nod. "He is quite the, uh, horse. What's his name?"

"Ace," replied our host. "I'd let you meet him, but he wasn't that well trained for personality, and that isn't why we have him, so we'll stay on this side of the fence."

The stallion went and displayed that he had all the attributes that a stallion should have. His attention was on Starlight, ignoring me once I stopped trying to come closer.

Starlight's expression was a mix of wonder and disgust. I figured it was about the same as seeing a well-hung ape of some sort leering at me. I wouldn't be all that thrilled either.

The host stepped to block the view somewhat, laughing. "And horses will do what horses do. Let's hope he keeps up that spirit when it's time to do his job." He gently shooed our group away from the amorous stallion. "Now I'm going to lead some of the mares out to the pasture we just came from. Would you, Miss Pony Princess, like to lead one? I wager you'll handle it just fine."

Starlight recovered nicely, smiling. "May I?" Soon she was holding the reigns of one of the heavy draft mares. "She's huge!" breathed out Starlight as she pet the immense beast along the side.

"She's a gentle giant. Don't startle her and she'll follow you anywhere." He was leading a slender mare and I ended up with a spotted gelding. "Just follow me and we'll let them stretch their legs."

We walked in an orderly line out of the stalls and on towards the pasture. We could see other ranch-hands were already gathering up the horses there and were leading them back towards the stalls. As the two trains of horses passed, the naughty gelding that had nipped at Black before went for a taste of me. He nosed and nipped at my shoulder. With the clothing in the way, it was more surprising than anything else. He hadn't bit nearly as hard as he could have if he wanted. It was a teasing motion, not an attack. Perhaps he wanted to show how dominant he was, but there was little chance for that as he was led away.

We led our own horses to the pasture and our host was quick to free them to graze and wander. "Good job all around. It's not a glamorous job, but letting them get some space helps keep them healthy. Their stalls are also part of that. Horses are shy creatures." I saw Starlight's brow raise. "They like being snug and safe sometimes."

Kevin flipped his phone towards himself. "Thank you for the tour, but if we want to stay on schedule, we should probably head on."

The host tipped his hat. "If you ever find yourself this way again, do stop by." His eyes went to Starlight. "You have a genuine talent there, Miss Starlight. If you're ever looking for a job, consider ranching."

"I'll keep it in mind," lied Starlight. "Thank you for the tour."

Soon enough we were piled back into the moving van and back on the road. Kevin was in the passenger seat, and it was my turn to drive, so I guided the van onward towards our destination. "So, Starlight, what'd you think?"

"I think it's uncanny..." She frowned a little. "You can see it in their eyes, so close, yet immeasurably distant. Horses are not ponies. They're built wrong, but that's only because they fall right into that curious place where you can only focus on how wrong it is. Thank you, for taking me." She crossed her arms. "I'm glad I got to see it. Kevin, you captured it all on your device?"

"Got it," he assured. "I'll share it with Twilight when we're not on the move."

"She'll be glad to see it, and have a thousand questions, I bet."

A question came to my mind. "So, Starlight? Do ponies have an estrus?"

She went red even as she laughed. "Do humans?"

Kevin answered before I did, "Nope."

"Really? So a human mare can become with foal at any time then?"

I tapped at the steering wheel lightly. "Not so much. They have to have an egg at the right place, and the lining... It's complicated, but no, not any time."

She lifted her shoulders. "So you become fertile at a certain time. Is it seasonal, yearly, monthly? Whatever it is, how is it not an estrus?"

The car went quiet. We had no good answers for that. But we did have... The Internet! Kevin was busily looking it up. "Huh... The main reason they're called 'menstrual cycles' instead of 'estrus cycles' was that people thought women gave no signs that could be seen when they were receptive, but studies are showing otherwise..." He swiped his finger across the phone, then started laughing. "Oh god..."

"What?" Starlight was reaching for the phone, but Kevin was keeping it away. "What did you find? Do humans have estrus or not?"

Kevin saw that silence was not an option. "Women who worked as exotic dancers received considerably higher tips while they were fertile."

Starlight got an expression of cocky vindication. "There you have it. We are all mammals. Now can we stop acting like foals about it? We all do it, it isn't that big of a deal. We're thinking creatures and can make decisions. It's not like we're... base animals, ruled by our needs."

As amusing as that conversation had gotten on some levels, I decided to veer off in more ways than one. "So who's hungry? You feeling adventurous still, Starlight? I see a steakhouse up ahead."

"What kind of steak?" asked Starlight innocently before it hit her. "You're testing me, aren't you?"

Kevin nudged her from the other side. "You can't go wandering through the heart of America and not try it."

"I don't know what your country has to do with it.." She sighed loudly. "But I won't refuse your local traditions, this once, just to try it, I suppose."

I couldn't help but turn a smirk as I drove. "And that has nothing to do with your human tastebuds telling you that meat can be really tasty."

She went red and didn't argue the fact more than a petulant grumbling as she shrank on herself.

"Don't be like that." Kevin nudged her again. "We're not making fun of you. Look forward to my expressions when you take me out to taste test flowers."

She rose up, blinking. "You don't eat flowers normally?"

Author's Note

Humans, Ponies, Horses. They all have their similarities, and their differences, hmm?

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57 - Miss Frohein

We arrived at the large and nondescript building. It could have been an office to just about any company. It had nothing particularly special about it. Work had let me off without a moment of hesitation once I said what it was for.

Starlight leaned her head off to the right, looking the building up and down. "No name?"

There wasn't any name, just an address. "Looks like a generic office building that could have multiple businesses inside."

I stepped free of the car and glanced around the parking lot in a slow sweep. There was nothing that gave much of a hint of anything unusual going on. Maybe I should have stopped looking? After all, it really wasn't anything unusual. Security clearance was only exciting due to movies and media.

This was the real world. I was about to be asked a lot of boring questions. "I'm scheduled first," I noted to Starlight. "So your first job will just be waiting for me."

Starlight rolled her eyes. "You must be nervous. We went over that already and I can handle a little downtime." She wagged the tablet that I had received for Christmas one time and never really used all that much. It had become hers. "I have distractions."

We stepped into the building side by side through the glass double doors and filed into the elevator that was just letting out a gentleman in his 50s, from the look of him. A short ride carried us up to the fifth floor where it became tunnels. Narrow hallways that wove through the building. There were signs that pointed us in the right direction at least, and we stepped into an open door into a small receptionist area.

The receptionist of the day was a slightly younger male than the first we saw. Maybe 40s? "Hello. Do you have an appointment?"

I nodded. "Linda Frohein."

"Frohein..." He clicked at his keyboard. "Here we are. I need you to fill out these. I'm glad you arrived early." He pulled out a clipboard filled with forms and set it out in easy grasping distance on his desk. "Miss Glimmer?"

Starlight perked up. "Yeah?"

"Your appointment requires much of the same paperwork." Out came a second clipboard. "Some notes have been made. Please be mindful of them."

Starlight cocked a brow as she accepted the clipboard and began skimming it. "I'm getting the special one?"

"They don't fill me in on the whys, Miss, just the whats. Turn the pad over when you're finished." His eyes settled back on his screen. We were dismissed.

I gestured for Starlight to sit beside me and I began attacking the form with the provided pen. Much of it went over what I had already given. Were they making sure I was consistent? No point in trying to analyze the meaning when there was a good chance that there was none, just an endless maze of red tape. "If anything confuses you, Starlight, don't hesitate to ask."

Starlight was making her own marks slowly. "I have plenty of time to figure it out before it's my turn anyway," she said confidently as she seemed to jump around the page, to my concern.

"Why are you skipping around like that?" I leaned over to get a peek at what she was doing, to see that large portions of her paper were already marked over with thick black marker. "Oh." It seemed they already knew some questions were not going to have answers they could act on in any meaningful way.

The image of a pony sitting up, her phone ringing. She picks it up and is asked to confirm details about Starlight. That seemed unlikely.

I refocused on my own sheet, determined to get it out of the way. I preferred computer forms over paper ones, given the choice. I imagined I was far from alone in that. I liked typing over holding a pen. Still, that didn't mean I couldn't do it, so I did.

"Miss Frohein."

I looked up to see a new female standing at a door leading further inside. "We're ready to see you."

I rose to my feet, clipboard tucked under an arm. "I'm not quite finished."

"You can complete the survey after the interview. Leave that here." She gestured at the receptionist. "This way, please."

"Good luck," chimed Starlight as she continued with her own forms. "Hope it's as boring as these papers."

At first brush I felt irritated at that curious blessing, but as I moved to follow the lady to my interview, I realized it was a good one. A nice, boring, interview with no surprises. That would be perfectly fine.

She opened a door to a room that looks amazingly familiar to the one I had been approved by the Director and her friends in. It was an interrogation. Lovely. "Will you be joining me?" I asked of the lady that had guided me that far.

"I will be the one asking the questions," she said evenly, stepping in only after I had and closing the door. "I've never seen quite so many notes and caveats on a clearance request form before. Your friend's worse, but I know you know that already." She settled on one side of the table and gestured for the seat across from herself. "Let's begin."

I sank into the indicated chair, sitting upright and ready. "Alright. Where do we start?"

She inclined a pen towards me. "Do you have citizenship in a foreign country?"

Well, technically? "Yes."

She rolled the pen. "Tell me about this country, starting with its name and disposition."

"Its name is Equestria." I smiled a little. "I know that sounds odd, but it is what it is. As names go, it's better than 'earth' since it describes who lives there rather than the fact that it has dirt in it."

"Mmhmm." She made a casual scribble. It wasn't nearly enough. I was likely being recorded. "How did you obtain this citizenship?"

Even I wasn't sure of that entirely... "When I'm there, I am one of them, a pony." A brow quirked on her face but she kept her gaze on me, silently bidding me to continue. "As a pony, citizenship seemed to be included, provided I was willing to follow their laws, which are not too onerous."

"And if you were not a pony?" She made another little scribble. "Would your citizenship still be recognized?"

That was a good question. I imagined standing before Celestia as my human self. I couldn't imagine her kicking me out of the country over it. "If I said I was the same person and proved it, I would be allowed to continue as I have been."

"Very permissive border controls..." She set her pen down. "Do you feel America could learn from Equestria?"

Silent alarms went off on my head. That was a leading question, or so I figured. "All nations could learn something from their neighbors."

She gave a non-committal hmm as she picked the pen back up. "You listed three princesses as contacts, all from this nation. How familiar are you with them?"

"Casual friends," I replied. I didn't know any of them that well, even if I had clumsily made a pass at one of them.

"I see." Down went the pen. She drew out a small black plastic box, unfurled it revealing an ink pad. She stamped the paper she was working on. "Denied."

I blinked. "Just like that?"

She set the pad down and crossed the fingers on her hands. "You don't sound that surprised. You are literally petitioning to be privy to national secrets. You are in contact with foreign governments in a capacity to be coerced. Even presuming the benign nature of this country, casual conversation between cleared members and their uppermost governmental bodies is far from ideal. This is an open and shut case."

Rising from her chair, she gathered the paper she had been scribbling on. "I'm sorry for the wasted time. Dual-citizens are basically never given clearance. Your friend, is she a citizen of that nation as well?"

"One and only," I said, standing up. I felt a little numb. I didn't like 'losing', but there weren't a lot of avenues I saw that would get around that roadblock.

"Her loyalty is clearer then, but it isn't to the United States. You can take her home with you. Thank you." She stepped out and was gone. I had failed entirely to get security clearance.

I returned to the front office to find Starlight was still working on her form. She saw me enter and smiled. "That was a lot faster than I thought it would be. I'm not even done."

"Don't bother." I reached for her clipboard. "They disqualified us for reasons they should have known coming in."

Starlight's face turned almost instantly into a scowl. "Really? Why'd they waste our time then?" She did not surrender the clipboard and instead sent it in a twirling arc to land on the receptionist's desk. "Let's get out of here."

I didn't approve of her hurling government property around, but her idea was solid. "Nothing more to do here. Have a nice day." I dipped my head at the receptionist. He looked like he had seen worse reactions before and he didn't stop us from leaving the office.

Once we were in my car, I explained what had happened, "They don't give clearance to people who are citizens of other nations. They have to be loyal to one state alone, and that needs to be the United States, this country. I'm a dual, you're single, but not here."

Starlight strapped herself in. "Makes sense, but they should have just told us that at the start."

They really should have... but... "I don't think everyone is on the same page." I started the car and got us moving. "One person, likely the director, wanted us in, bad, and pushed. She was getting her way until they hit the lady we talked to today, or maybe someone before her that put a stop to it."

Starlight rolled a hand as we went down the road. "So, is that it? Is the director giving up on handling ponies?"

I frowned with thought a moment. "I doubt it... It just means we won't be told half of what we need to be told to do it properly." Another thought struck me and I cringed. "I get to shoot down my boss' ideas for government jobs with my clearance." I grunted as I merged onto a highway. "Just as well, I didn't want to be the only point of contact for clients."

We weren't long in coming close to work again, but I wasn't in a hurry. "It was supposed to take longer than this. How about we get a nibble before heading back?"

"I won't say no to that." Starlight crossed her arms over her front. "If they don't want a great set of people like us working for them, it's their loss."

I smiled at that. "That's a good attitude to have. What are you in the mood for?"

"I may be going native, but I think I want one of those burgers." She sat up and forward. "One of the messy ones, with beans dripping out of it."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Right-o. Some sloppy burgers to celebrate the sloppy life we've run into."

Author's Note

We're back! This story will resume updating 1/4 days.

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64 - To Be Human

Kevin took over the tour as Swanson excused herself. "This place is going to be great, once we get it there," he spoke enthusiastically, a smile on his face and a pep in his step. We had left Trixie and Starlight behind in their chat with the others. "What do you think so far?"

Diplomatic or truthful? He was a friend. "It's right on the edge of thoughtful and terrifying. I know they don't want pegasi flying over any cages they build to keep them here, but keeping the poor pony's wings secured like that is like keeping a person in handcuffs constantly. We don't treat criminals like that."

Kevin rolled a hand. "I agree, which is why we should get to building as soon as possible. I doubt we'll get far trying to appeal to their humanitarian side when they already have a plan worked out. As soon as we get a gym up, our feathered friend will be free to get their wings out whenever they want, for as long as they want."

We were approaching a small one story building. "Here's where most of them live for now. It's nothing glamorous, but it's up to us to change that and give them some comfort." He depressed a few keys on a pad by the door quickly and had it opened with a loud click.

I wondered about that. "How do the ponies get in and out? They don't use that little keypad, do they?" I couldn't imagine any pony but a unicorn being comfortable with it.

"They knock, usually." He opened it to reveal the dimmer interior. I could hear something playing inside and some voices talking. "They watch a lot of television, with varied levels of interest."

I glanced aside at the metal panel and its small buttons. "We'll have to make doors fit for pony use. Maybe pedal driven? Something they can step on to get it working." I was working on idle theory. "They don't have fingers, remember?"

"You'd think that'd slow them down." He lifted his shoulders. "I've seen ponies work small things before. Couldn't say how, but they've managed. If they knew the passwords, I'm pretty sure they'd get it into the console."

We emerged from a hallway into a larger living area. Several ponies were sprawled across a large couch. One pegasus mare with bound wings was closer to the television, eagerly shouting at the screen as if it would react to her entreaties. "Don't go in there!" she insisted. "No! Stop!" The slasher in the film appeared behind his victim. "They never listen..."

A slightly plump earth pony stallion rolled a hoof. "Then why do you keep asking?"

The pegasus stuck out her tongue. "Because it's fun. Sometimes they do listen." Her eyes darted over, noticing Kevin and me. "Oh! Hello Kevin, who's your lady friend? Where's Swanson?"

Kevin gestured to me in a grand sweep. "Say hello to Linda Frohein. She'll be joining us and helping to make this place better."

That got some curious looks. The pegasus hopped up to her hooves and trotted towards me. "You don't look like the others."

"I'm not like the others," I agreed, crouching down to be more on the pegasus' level. "You are Running River, right?"

Running flashed a big smile. "My reputation proceeds me. Nice to meet you, Linda. So what's your favorite?" She pointed back at the television.

My favorite show? I rattled off a few dramas I tried to keep up with. "And you?"

"Oh, I can't decide! I haven't seen even a little bit of what's in there." She gave a little giggle. "I feel like I could watch forever and still not catch up." Her nose twitched gently and she tilted her head left and right. "You feel different than the others. There's something about you..."

One of the smaller ponies hopped down from the couch and joined us. "She's not wearing what they usually wear, maybe that's it?"

I held up my hands. "These are just my usual professional clothes. Nice to meet you both though." I extended a hand.

Running met the hand, placing her left forehoof into it. "Nice to meetcha! Have you talked to other ponies before? I swear, there's something..."

The smaller pony tilted her head left and right. "I think I see what you see." She leaned forward. "Are you here to help?"

Kevin spoke up suddenly, "We both are."

The smaller one waved him away. "You're like Swanson. There's something different about her." She pointed emphatically at me.

I had a few theories... "I've seen Equestria."

That got their attentions. Their eyes focused on me and ears pricked up as if waiting for me to continue.

So I did. I saw no reason to hide these things from them. "I've been to Canterlot, and spoken to Celestia." I left out that I had attempted to court her. "Kevin is serious. He wants to help you all as much as I do, so please cut him some slack."

The smaller mare looked Kevin over again. "Have you been to Equestria?"

Kevin shook his head and waved a hand in the negative. "I've talked to Princess Twilight before, at least."

This got confused looks on their face, but Kevin reacted swiftly. "Were you all lost before Twilight Sparkle ascended to princesshood?"

The rotund pony turned to the conversation. "Twilight, Really? That little bookworm?" The other ponies didn't seem to even know who she was, and a discussion broke out about her identity.

Running looked to me. "How did this Miss Sparkle become a princess?"

I waved off the question. "I appreciate that you trust me, but Kevin can answer that a lot better than I can." Then, a thought. "Actually." I pulled up my purse and fished around for the cube. A strong push and I knew, a world away, a bell had sounded.

It only took a few seconds for Twilight to suddenly pop up on the screen, looking around. The other ponies gasped and pointed with various levels of amazement. "Hello? Where are we, Linda? And why are there other ponies here?" Her eyes settled on them in kind. "I'm being rude. Hello. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you all."

A chorus of hellos came from the assembled herd of ponies. I wriggled a few fingers in greeting. "Thanks for coming so quickly, Twilight. These are ponies that have managed to become stuck here before we had even met. Most of them don't even know you."

Twilight perked an ear. "I may be a princess, but my face isn't as known as Celestia's. I'm not surprised when somepony hasn't heard of me yet. She had a lot longer to become as well-known as she is." Her eyes swept over the room. "You said some of them do?"

The plump pony nodded. "Hey Twi-Twi," he called. "I haven't seen you since Kindergarten."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Oh! That voice! Is that really you?"

He gestured at himself. "I've let myself go a little," he said with some embarrassment, cheeks warming as his ears went off to each side. "You still reading books like they were about to be outlawed?"

"We used to call you 'Little Hoof'," laughed out Twilight. "You're not so little anymore... Yes, I still read, but what happened? When did you come here?"

"Excuse me," cut in Running. "You know her." She pointed to me. "Do you know him?" She pointed to Kevin. "Also your head is about to be cut off."

Twilight squeaked and ducked down just as the slasher in the show they were watching claimed another victim. Twilight peeked back up before slowly sitting up. "Oh, I'm not actually in this performance. Don't scare me like that." She pointed at Kevin from the screen. "Hello, Kevin. I hope things are well?"

Kevin waved in kind. "Hey, Twilight. We're here to help with these ponies."

Twilight nodded softly. "I trust you two to look after them until we get them home. It feels like we should get that portal operating as quickly as possible. I hadn't realized there were so many waiting to come home."

The ponies started talking, all at once. They asked about Equestria, if a given pony was alright, and begging Twilight to tell so-and-so this-and-that in frantic appeals to connect with their homeworld.

Twilight shook her head quickly. "One at a time, please. I understand this must be very trying for you all. To start, if you could give Kevin or Linda a full list of names of all the ponies there. If you can provide the names of any immediate family and where they live, we'll try to contact them and let them know you're alive and well."

One by one, the ponies stepped forwards to identify themselves. A quill appeared beside Twilight and began noting it down. "Are these all the ponies?"

I hiked a thumb towards the door to the outside. "There are a few outside. We'll get their information for you."

"Thank you for that." Twilight rolled up the scroll she had conjured to write on. "I'll get on this right away. We don't want ponies thinking their friends or family are gone forever.

Kevin pointed at Twilight on the screen. "About that. Is this one way?"

Twilight tilted her head. "Well, I haven't seen a human in Equestria so far?"

I saw where he was going though. "Why would ponies fall onto Earth and not the other way around?"

Twilight had no ready answer for that. "It could... be..." She sounded unsure. "I can only make educated guesses at this point, barely conjecture. If Equestria were a higher-energy destination, then things would naturally flow away from it, to Earth. That would make moving in the other direction more difficult."

"Fascinating," came a new but familiar voice. Swanson wandered in from across the room. "Miss Sparkle, was it?"

Twilight's attention snapped to the new human and worry painted her featured. "Oh, uh..."

"I've been informed of your existence. This is not an indictment."

"That's a relief." Twilight sagged lightly a moment before bouncing into a proper sit. "I'm sorry. I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, but Twilight will do. And you are?"

"Director Swanson," replied Swanson. "I don't have the authority to make any official statements beyond assurance that your citizens are being cared for and held securely, pending proper discussion and negotiations. We don't have pre-existing deportation procedures with your nation." She spoke stiffly and formally, as was her nature.

Twilight tilted her head. "Thank you for that." Her eyes flicked to Running. "Why are her wings secured? Are they broken?"

Running's wings fidgeted in their case. "Not broken!" she piped.

Swanson gestured at Running River. "In order to ensure safety and security, we can't have flying as an option. No structure we build to isolate would survive that ability unless it was entirely indoors."

"I see," said Twilight with doubt in her voice. "I should get to work with what I have. I look forward to speaking with you all later." She winked out without speaking to me directly. I had a feeling she was avoiding something, and I could think of a few potential things.

Swanson was looking at me. "How did you contact her? We have most communication shut down here outside this television."

I wasn't sworn to anything... except being an informant, and she wanted that information. "I can call her when I want to speak to her. She can appear on most reflective or display surfaces. A pool of water, or a LCD screen." I pointed at the TV as I said that. "You said you wanted me to inform Equestria."

"And you have, quickly. Thank you." She moved through the room towards the front door. "You and your friends are free to leave once Miss Glimmer has recovered her disguise. I look forward to updates on the project to begin construction."

When she was gone, I felt a prodding on a leg. Running was there, looking up at me. "You don't feel like a human."

That was an odd thing to say. "I was born one."

"You feel like a pony."

Kevin idly dropped that bomb, "She's been a pony before."

I rolled my eyes. "So have you."

That got him colored. Running glanced at him, then back at me. "You feel like more of a pony... Come back soon, alright?"

Author's Note

An update before I head home from the convention. The plot, it is unveiled further.

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71 - A Formal Request

My boss turned an interesting color when I asked him, but he recovered nearly as swiftly. "Of course, sure... I mean, you're owed enough of it." He glanced away and back at me, so many questions going unasked.

I decided to not let him dangle. He was being a good boss, letting me go in the middle of a huge project he was nervous about. "I won't be entirely off duty. I plan to continue the project. I'll be submitting progress reports and timesheets."

He let out an explosive sigh of relief. "Thank god for the Internet. I mean, you enjoy yourself, but thank you." He clapped me on a shoulder. "When are you going?"

That was a great question that had me snatching out my phone to check. Wow. "Looks... like I'll be paying full price for a plane. I have to get moving basically immediately."

He gave an empathetic laugh. "Family, right? Who else can get you to drop everything and come running? I have one too, I know how it goes." He was already turning away. "Let me know when you get back, obviously. I'll be looking forward to it."

With the recent new income stream, I almost felt guilty knowing the plane ticket would be so small a problem as to be laughable, even with my two +1s. Still, not something to put off a moment longer. I went to my office where the ladies already were.

Trixie looked up with a smile. "We trust everything went well?"

"He let me go," I confirmed as I moved around my desk to get at my computer and immediately pull up a comparison site and get to shopping. Low class, or first class? I glanced up at the two ladies, who were both watching me in kind. Did they know what I was planning? Perhaps they had guessed it involved them. It was their first time flying. I wanted it to be special and as nice as possible.

I booked first class. It included security priority, and I didn't want to subject either of them to airport security any more than absolutely required. "All booked. Looks like it comes with plugs, so we can keep your tablets charged while we're going. You will need your passports. Do you both have them?"

Starlight produced hers first, but Trixie was only moments behind. Trixie popped hers open, showing her picture. "She still thinks this is the least interesting picture they took of her."

I leaned in for a better look. They had managed to get a straight forward shot of her head and shoulders. I wondered how many pictures they had to snap to get her in such a neutral pose. Maybe they got it by luck while she was posing dramatically. "It's a nice picture."

"Do you think so?"

"They had a great subject matter."

Trixie burst into good-humored laughter. "That they did. So Trixie is prepared for this trip? She is not used to traveling great distances without her cart."

"Cart?"

Starlight shook her head. "As a pony, Trixie went everywhere with her cart. It was where she lived and worked."

"This is correct." Trixie sat down as her hands began to work a moment before she stopped. "Use the oracle! She is certain there are crude pictures of it, just as there are of Trixie."

Oracle? Oh, right. I quickly typed "Trixie's Cart" into google, and there it was, both intact and unfolded into a performing stage. "Cute." Like most pony things, it seemed. "That must have been a challenge."

"To pull?" Trixie's smile turned cocky, a subtle difference. "She is stronger than she looks. Pulling her cart is part of her training regimen to keep her fit. She misses it... This time, we will let the cart pull us instead."

Starlight gave a short snort of a laugh. "No wonder more humans seem to get pudgy."

Trixie tilted her head. "You do not like it?"

Starlight realized the mine she had stepped on quickly. "Oh, no, it looks great on you! You pull off the look with class, as usual."

Trixie beamed at the praise. "Your human form is acceptable as well, even if you did copy someone else." She looked over at me. "She swears, you two are too similar."

I was about to object, when a knock came from the door. "Come in," I called. I had no good reason to deny anyone that would be knocking at the office door.

In came a face I hadn't seen in awhile. It was that shapeshifting pegasus, in his human form. "Hello, Miss Frohein."

The other two looked curious. They had never met him, so he was just another stranger. I knew better. "Swanson couldn't make it herself?"

"She couldn't," he agreed, moving to stand in front of my desk. "Things are very busy, thanks in part to you, which we are not upset about. Things are moving, finally." He glanced left and right, to Trixie and Starlight. "I took the opportunity to meet the two unicorns not in our direct care. My name is Simulacrum, and yours?"

Starlight tensed. "Reformed?" she asked in a deeply suspicious tone.

Simulacrum arched a brow. "Well, that proves that nicely. No. I'm not one of... those. I've been on Earth long before that occurred."

I shook my head a little. "Why are we being suddenly mysterious about Equestria? There is no one in this room that merits that."

Trixie tilted her head. "What are... oh!" She leveled a finger at Simulacrum. "Changeling!"

"Subtle," laughed Simulacrum lightly. "It doesn't matter. My master is the United States, not Chrysalis, not anymore." He crossed his arms across his chest. "Can't say I miss her. I've heard some snatches of the great rebellion. Would you indulge me with more information about that? I'm curious."

Trixie waved broadly at Starlight and herself. "You're looking at the two that made that happen!"

Starlight gave out a strained single note of a laugh, a lone 'ha-ah' "Well you don't have to go that far."

"But she will, because it's true." Trixie was looking quite proud. "We did it all."

Simulacrum spied an unused chair where the door would open and snagged one for himself. "Just two ponies? Chrysalis usually isn't that sloppy."

Starlight was shaking her head and waving her hands in a wild attempt to silence an oblivious Trixie that saw nothing wrong in speaking, "Oh, well, Discord was involved too, we guess we should mention."

I put a hand out in front of Trixie. "As fascinating as this is, I trust you didn't come here for that?"

"Straight to the point." Simulacrum fixed me a smile I couldn't take the full measure of. "I like that. It's a great relief, knowing I don't have to walk on eggshells around anyone here. Shame this isn't a completely secure location... Either way, you're poking your nose in about the unicorns, yes?"

I nodded in easy agreement. "I would like their names, pictures, and preferably some assurance of their safety and well-being. An actual visit would be ideal. We've supplied at least that much for the rest."

Simulacrum gestured to Starlight, then Trixie. "Pegasi can be clipped. You bind their wings, and they stay in their pens. Earth ponies, as a rule, same principle. You can handle them like most any other animal or human, keep them confined and safe, for them, for the humans, for everyone. Unicorns... No such assurance. I'm sure you two are quite aware, being one yourself, but most can't do much, but we can't tell what the talents are of any particular unicorn are just by looking at them. How do you keep someone captive that can, in theory, teleport, or shapeshift, or break all the rules humanity knows of the universe? Answer, very, very carefully."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "But they trust a changeling?!"

His grin showed teeth just a little sharper than they should be. "I have sworn my loyalty, and that is no small thing. This is my new hive, and I have no lofty ambitions of working against it. I will obey the laws of it, and help them enforce those on others. But we're not here to chat about me." His eyes didn't leave me, focused. "This is about unicorns. The first one we captured escaped. The second... just about as easily. It wasn't until they got lucky, caught a filly that could barely glow, let alone teleport." He produced a photo from his shirt and slid it across the desk towards me. "Here she is."

The picture was that of a mare, not a filly. It chilled me with the implications. "How long have you had her?" I asked, even if the answer seemed obvious.

Starlight peered at the picture from where she sat. "I think I'm getting an idea what's going on here."

Simulacrum's gaze broke to look at her. "Oh?"

Trixie got a sublime smile. "She thinks she's on the same page. It is little wonder now..."

Why was I the only one being left out?! "Someone want to give me a hint here?"

Simulacrum rose to his feet suddenly. "I should go. A full list of names will be sent. Pictures will require logging into a secure server. That information will be tendered."

I stood up quickly. "They're all safe then?"

He hesitated a moment. "There has been... one fatality. Autopsy suggested it was of natural causes."

My mind flashed with what they would do with a dead pony, especially a unicorn, with no foreign government known about to deal with. I cringed at the imagery of blood and viscera that danced in my mind. They would not let any such specimen 'rest in peace'. Too many mysteries had answers that could be found in its flesh. "I... will need their name too."

"Of course." Simulacrum nodded to each of us and strode from the office with sure steps.

I slumped back into my seat, shaken a little.

Starlight wrinkled her nose. "Not that I plan to go anytime soon, but if something happens, you shove me through a puddle back to Twilight's, alright? Not like corpses care about the side effects."

Trixie's eyes widened. "She does not want to hear her friend even admitting the possibility of ever leaving. You are hereby not allowed to die." She crossed her arms and turned her head away. "Trixie forbids it."

I put up a hand flat towards either of them. "Neither of you are. I won't let it." As if I, a lawyer, were some kind of superhero that could do much about it one way or the other. "Look, what were you two getting excited about there?" I wanted to think about just about anything else. That seemed a valid distraction.

Starlight's expression brightened as she clapped her knees with her hands. "Oh, you didn't figure it out? If that filly's been here for that long to be a mare, and that show you watch is only a few years old..." She rolled her hand as if expecting me to finish it.

"Then ponies predate the show?" I timidly put forward, unsure if that was enough.

"Yes, but we knew that. More than that. The odds that we came here first, but then someone just 'happened' to dream us up, without seeing us? Unlikely." She tapped my desk. "The show is someone telling stories of our world, literally ours. A pony talked to someone and shared stories, and this happened." She flashed a smile. "The show is still being made. The pony is still talking."

Trixie tilted her head. "Wait a moment. If they are... that does not make sense. When they came here, they would stop knowing what was happening, because they would be here, not in Equestria."

Starlight nodded quickly. "An astute observation, which means..." She glanced at me, clearly hoping I'd follow along.

So I gave it my best guess. "Which means there is a pony that can go back and forth already, ferrying information around."

Starlight clapped her hands together. "Probably also able to hide themselves as a human, maybe more than one to keep the secret. This is a guess, mind you. I could be wrong."

Author's Note

This proved to be a heavy chapter. On the plus side, vacation is secured, which puts Linda and her friends on a plane. I'm already looking forward to writing Starlight and Trixie's airport and flying adventure! What could possibly go wrong?

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84 - Friendship in Darkness

I had cried. There is only so much of that you can do, at least in one burst. A hollow sore feeling had replaced it. I felt terrible, but I wasn't sobbing anymore. I had moved onwards into a sullen misery.

Twilight gave a little smile. "Feeling better?"

Spike elbowed her. "Does he look better? Hey, uh... Linda." A little part of me smiled. Spike could be really thoughtful at times. I didn't want to be True Shot right then. "Want something to drink? I bet you could use something."

Twilight tilted her head off a bit at Spike. "Does he have a comfort drink I wasn't aware of?"

Spike shrugged at that. "I was thinking something sweet with a little hint of cider might be just the ticket."

Hard cider? I sagged a little. That actually did sound like a fine idea. "Thank you, Spike." I forced my way onto my hooves, my shivering down to a mild occasional twitch. I had to approach this reasonably. "Twilight?"

"Mm?"

"Can you use me?" She looked baffled and maybe a little embarrassed. "Not like that, to reach back onto Earth. Can you scry with me while I'm awake here?"

Spike was rushing off to get that drink, leaving Twilight tapping the ground thoughtfully as her eyes went skyward. "Well, I don't see why not... Provided you're still... linked." She cringed as she said it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything."

"You did." I huffed softly. "But I'm too tired to care right now. If you can, we can dispel this nice and fast. Just take a peek. I'm either sitting in a morgue, or a hospital bed. Either way, at least we'll know."

I felt Twilight's hoof touching my chest and realized I had started trembling again. "It's alright." She smiled at me gently. "No matter what, you do have friends. You're not alone in this."

Was Twilight a friend? I barely knew her! I barely knew Spike, or any other pony in the entirety of ponyland. They were all extremely kind strangers that had accepted me too easily. No. I was letting myself fall into dark... darker places. I shook it off with a loud equine snort. "Thank you, Twilight. What do we need to get started?"

"I was thinking maybe you should relax first?" She waved a hoof after where Spike had gone. "Let's get you that drink, let you rest and recover a little before we throw any other potential shocks your way."

I didn't feel like sitting down, or relaxing. "Have you heard from Trixie, or Starlight? Are they alright?" Even if I was... they didn't deserve to be ignored. "I don't hear the pager going off."

"Pager?" Twilight lifted an ear. "Oh, that. I put that away. The ringing wasn't telling me anything new and won't until we get this straightened out."

How dare she ignore the girls! Well, that's what I had thought for a moment, but it quickly passed. What she had done was perfectly reasonable. I was the one being unreasonable.

Spike came hurrying back with a mug of something warm enough to be putting off some steam. It looked lovely, and my twitching nose said it smelled nice as well. I sat on my haunches and wanted the cup badly enough that my magic grabbed it from his surprised hands and brought it right over to me. "Thanks, Spike. You're the best." I carefully took a sip, a new taste slid over my tongue. It was like a cider tea. It was warm but wasn't too hot, which meant I had no good reason to hold back, so I didn't, chugging it down rapidly. I sagged with it gone. "That really was what I needed..."

He gave a thumbs up. "No problem. So, Twilight, how are we fixing this?"

Twilight's wings spread partially before folding back, clearly being forced. "That's easier said, Spike." Her tone was also forced. "I mean, that's easier said than done. There... Linda, let me talk to Spike a moment."

She meant alone. Alone was a thing I didn't want at that specific moment. "Go ahead and say it."

Twilight frowned faintly. "If... Linda can't be used as a contact point, Starlight and Trixie are entirely cut off."

"That's not true." Spike was eyeing her like she was missing something really obvious. "You already have that key."

"I... do?"

He waved with a flourish towards where I assume she'd hidden the pager. "You've been avoiding the thing with a link between worlds for a while now? Come on. I can't be the only one that sees that. You can reach them whenever you want. I just figured you just weren't..."

Twilight sank to her haunches, her mane frizzing as if the emotional weight of that realization was destroying her grooming. "Oh... yeah..." She gave a little hysterical laugh. "Of course..." She brought up a hoof to rest her face in. "Of course... Spike, can you get it for me?"

"On it!" He rushed off in a flash of little scaley feet.

I glanced after him before looking towards Twilight. "He can be a clever little thing, can't he?"

She withdrew from her hoof shell. "He really can be." She smiled as she tried to get herself back into order. "I'm lucky to have him. How did I not think of this earlier?! He is right, of course. That cube is a perfect device for this operation. So long as it's in both worlds, we have a link. I suggest we check in on the girls right away, next time it rings, which I doubt will take long."

That was, at least, doing something. I nodded firmly and gave an agitated swish of a tail, which was not a thing I was used to doing. I glanced back at the rebellious limb and it swayed as if to taunt me. For just a moment, making it move under my own power was all that mattered, at least until I heard Spike rushing back.

He burst into the room, the cube held high in his hands. "Here we are!"

It rang out as if in celebration of its arrival. Twilight released a short chuckle. "That didn't take long at all. Let's see what's going on." Her horn glowed, taking the cube from Spike and setting it down before her eyes closed with concentration. A mirror I had succeeded in paying no attention to lit up a moment before an image appeared in it that wasn't the room we were sitting in. Starlight, in human form, was nearby, shaking the other half of the cube. "C'mon! Twilight! Come on..." She slumped, head thunking against the desk she was seated at.

"She's not going to answer." Trixie poked her head in from the left, poking in from out of frame. "We've been pressing that thing all day. Maybe it's broken? Trixie could not say." She turned directly for the mirror, running a hand through her hair, but she saw us, instead of her reflection. Her eyes widened a moment. "Or maybe she will?"

"What?" Starlight looked over at Trixie, saw past her to us, and sprang to her feet. "Twilight! True! Oh, thank Celestia!" She rushed for the mirror. "What's going on?!"

Twilight held up her hooves. "Good to see you too. We were hoping you could tell us that, actually."

Starlight pointed past Twilight, at me. "She went swimming and never came back! At first I thought it was just a crazy human trick, but when I pointed it out to her family, they started getting worried, really worried, and then I got worried, and you didn't answer, and..." She stomped the floor loudly. "That wasn't funny! Where did you go?!"

Twilight leaned just so to get in the way of me and Starlight. "Linda's been through a lot, and we're still trying to figure that out. Are you and Trixie alright?"

Trixie made a dismissive wave of a hand. "Trixie is fine, but she fears the party will be canceled, and then she will never have a chance to amaze all these people with her tricks."

Starlight gave her friend a shove. "Only you would be focused on that right now. Linda!" She tried to look around Twilight at me. "What happened?"

I stepped forward around Twilight. "I swam out too far, and I ran into a sea pony."

Starlight blinked. "Sea pony?" Her hands fell to her side, more confused than upset. "Really? Like a pony fish?"

I wobbled a forehoof at her. "More like a pony dolphin. Very cute." What pony was not cute? I had not seen many. "I got her... Oh! Twilight, where is she?"

Twilight shook her head. "I'm still inspecting her to make sure the transport went smoothly. Better safe than sorry. A minor imperfection in stone is easily ignored, but in a living pony, it can be a big concern. Let's put that aside for the mo--"

"Trixie wants to see." She leaned in on the mirror. "She has not seen a sea pony before."

Starlight rolled her eyes and nudged Trixie back a little. "They just said she's a statue or something. You'll have to wait. Alright, so you got her back to Equestria, good job. So, why aren't you here?"

Spike suddenly landed on my back. He had mounted me like a knight of yore, though he was a bit small for the task. Even as I wriggled, he slid up and whispered into an ear, "It's alright if you don't want to go over that right now."

"N-no... it's alright. I made it back to land. Twilight saw that." My teeth were clenching as I spoke even as I tried to fight it. "I thought I was home free, but it was night, and I started freezing right away, still wet from the water." A hysterical laugh burst from within me. "Maybe I should have just rolled around in the sand until the water was pulled away. Why hadn't I thought of that." I stumbled in place, trying to get control of myself. "A-anyway, if that wasn't enough, I cut my foot on something in the dark. I was exhausted, freezing, and bleeding by the time I..." My tongue felt dry, too dry. I couldn't talk anymore. I couldn't finish that thought. "I'm not dead..."

Twilight extended a wing suddenly, thwacking me right across the face as she barred me from the mirror. "Alright! Well, we're still looking into that. I'm glad you two are alright. Signal me if anything new comes up. Bye!" With a twinkle of her horn, the image was dismissed without time for counter-byes to be given. "Linda, I know you're in... an awkward place right now. You can stop trying to act brave."

Spike patted my withers gently. "Awkward? I'm not sure that's the word I'd use. I mean, I get it... I've had some of those thoughts before."

The idea of it angered and confused me in almost equal measures. "Spike, you are a sweet and innocent thing, so I won't throw you across the room, but how can you, dear resident of this seemingly idealistic world, understand even a fragment of what I feel?"

He shrugged softly. "Well, see... I mean... not exactly like that, but not knowing who you are, where you're going... I can feel that. I mean... I don't even know who my parents were." He sagged on my back. "I'm a lousy dragon, as dragons go... I'm a chancy pony, as ponies go. I'm less than either, but I do my best to make it work." He held up a hand at Twilight. "Before you cut me off, I know you try to be... good, but this is the time for honesty, not pretty words. Not knowing where you are sucks. Not knowing where you're going can be even worse. I can't claim I know exactly what you feel, but I at least know some of the... what, texture? I know it, and I'm sorry you're in that right now." He flopped down on my back and hugged my neck from behind. "I'm here for ya."

At least I had Spike...

Author's Note

Starlight and Trixie are in one piece, that's good, right?

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100 - Reflection

I gazed at the mirror and the equine face that peered back.

"Honey," came a soft female voice. She slid up beside me and put an arm around my barrel. Her hand gently brushed through my fur as she leaned in against me. "You alright?"

"Just thinking," I replied to Susan, who had become my girlfriend, or rather marefriend, she loved being called that. She was a programmer, and a good one, so far as I knew. It was good that we were both professionals. The flood of adoring letters, not to mention the idle threats of violence of many kinds, were mostly from people I had nothing in common with. "I'm glad you're here."

She kissed my cheek gently and tickled an ear just at that spot I liked it. "I hope to be for a long time." She had actually popped the question a few weeks before, but I had insisted, like an adult, that we learn more about one another, and how we cohabitate before making that final plunge. I felt silly thinking about it. I loved her. She loved me. Was I afraid of just accepting a happy thing?

"Come on to bed when you're ready." She wandered off, not to sit in bed idly, mind. She had work, and she would work on it until I joined her, then we would greet the night, together. It was a little ritual between us, and I liked it. Sometimes it was as simple as just passing out next to her, other times we did what couples do. It is a notable difference from the male perspective, just to note.

I looked back to the mirror, focusing. I could see her. Me. I knew I was there. I was in a bed in Equestria, being cared for by competent pony nurses. The pains and aches that had marked my injured form had faded under their gentle company. I could slip right into it, like a familiar and comfortable shirt. I could, but I didn't. I could pull it over, switch places and thrust this stallion's body across, to become a statue without a 'spirit' inhabiting it. I could.

I didn't. I slept like a normal person. It was my life again.

I turned back to my lover with a little smile. "I'll eventually have to help the other ponies. I can't ignore that." I mean, I could have, but I had decided against it. I would do what I could.

"I know that." She held out a hand towards me. "I work online, just like you. We will keep getting our jobs done no matter where our meat-bodies happen to be. I don't care. I want to be with you, wherever that is." She lowered the hand to the bed, patting gently. "Now do I have to get a sugar cube?"

I smirked at the equine humor. "That won't be required, seeing as there is already something sweet waiting for me." I slipped in beside her. She giggled and closed her laptop. We forgot about everything else for the moment and made a physical display of our affection.

Author's Note

I have been thoroughly chastised for leaving some parts unexplained or said, so here we are. Written on a plane, because why doesn't write on planes?! I hope this improves the story.