We've started an anarchy, as we always do, yet this time I don't feel like I want to be a part of it any longer. The moment we stepped through this school's doors, things have been going further and further downhill for me. Adagio's orders are becoming more strict, like she feels threatened. Aria's teasing has turned even more brutal and more personal because of Adagio, it's all leading up to me feeling hurt. I can't bare to be near them right now, I just can't. I wish things would go back the way they were; the three of us just—I don't know anymore.
I sat on stage in the gymnasium, a mic stand inches to my left behind me. I've slung my legs over the edge of the stage—swinging them back and forth as I stare silently ahead in the large, yet empty room. I don't know why I bothered really; this act I pull around my "best friends". I deal with their shouting, I deal with their fighting, yet they can't deal with me. I'm always the one at fault, I'm always the one who ruins everything... I'm always the one to blame when something goes wrong. This stupid act I pull, it's not me! Sure, they've known me for years—many years, I've practically been like this the entire time they've known me. Yet here I am, on the outside I'm always "Tacos!" but inside, inside I don't know how much more I can take.
I let out a low sigh, crossing my arms over my chest as I continue to stare blankly forward. If anyone saw me, they'd assume I was spacing out. That's never the case, I'm more aware than anyone makes me out to be, I just can't show them though. This whole facade, this whole act I'm trying to keep together. One slip, and I'm back to being the bottom feeder I once was. When did things change, when did I begin to allow myself to be tormented day in and day out with these two. I never wanted for this, I only wanted to be with someone; to call someone friend. Gently biting my lower lip, I bring a hand up to push a stray lock of hair behind my ear. Before I can lower my hand back down though, I hear something. A click-clack of boots coming behind one of the gym's many entryways. The sound echoes, reverberating all around me and I fail to hold back a wince. Regardless if someone saw me like this or not, I still prefer my own company.
Yet I don't move from my spot, legs over the edge, rear on the stage. It doesn't matter anyway really, no one just wants to sit and talk with me. Adagio was too busy thinking ahead for this scheme of hers and Aria would probably just yell at me- "like always" -I mutter out under my breath. I turn my head to where I believe the coming interloper will arrive; their steps sounding agonizingly slow. Everyone else, excluding those... what did Adagio say they were called, the Rainbooms? Excluding the Rainbooms, everyone else is just in it for whatever satisfaction this win would give them. And besides, I'm sure the Rainbooms above all don't want to associate themselves with the antagonists; at least not in the form of camaraderie.
I look back down to my lap, lowering both of my hands and place them over my thighs. Yeah, that's right. I called us: The Dazzlings, the antagonists. It was so obvious, here we were leeching off of anything with negative emotions; we've fed off of so many. We've started wars; with how long we've been here, we've seen the ends of them too. All of that, just for a quick snack. A quick snack! Why was it that we had to feed off of emotions though, we were just fine with whatever meals this world proceeds to come up with. Adagio would never agree with me on that, Aria—well, she'd think of something creative most likely. "Arghh" this is why I prefer to stay in my head; my opinion not only doesn't matter, it just clashes with theirs almost all the time. A door opens a bit off to my left, my head snapping up in recognition to the sound. My eyes were met with someone familiar, but... not?
The girl with the pink, usually everywhere hairstyle, had it down; it looks almost matted to her head. What was her name again, we've spoken once before—Pink something. Her head was low, her eyes haven't noticed mine or caught glimpse of my spot onstage, maybe she was in her head as much as I was in mine. Her head rose several inches, my eyes matching hers in an awkward stare-off before she blinked. A small smile cracked on her face, then growing larger into a near face-splitting grin. It was fake, I could see it in her eyes.
"Hiya! Sonata, right? My friends say we're not allowed to talk, but whatevs! Ooh, what're you doing in the gymnasium by yourself, are you being mysterious? What're ya thinkin' about? Huh?" Her voice was cracking at every high note in her questioning, her hair popped back into the usual mussed-up look it sported before. Though her eyes, her eyes still told all, yet she seemed to be fooling herself. Why didn't I notice this earlier—right, the one time we did speak, it was only a simple hi and bye as Aria drug me away.
Weakly, I grin up to her and give a small wave in return. "Heyya yourself! What was with the mopey face a couple seconds ago?" I was genuinely curious, it wasn't everyday the seemingly most happiest girl in the world looked down. I blink as she fidgets a little after my question, but she still has the fake smile on her face. I turn my head to the microphone behind me before looking back to her, gently I pat my spot next to me. It wouldn't hurt anyone if we weren't seen talking to each other, right? She contemplates my unasked offer and releases a sigh after several seconds of just awkward silence.
"I'd rather not talk about that right now, silly!" Her voice flows in a humorous tone, as if she was trying to keep hold of her act. In a way, it reminds me of, well, me. Nonetheless, she nods and hops right onstage next to me, her legs only inches from mine. I keep my grin up as I turn my head to face hers; blinking as I realize she was at least half a head taller than me.
"Oookaay, well, whad'ya wanna talk about then?" My voice sounded so uplifting, as if I hadn't a care in the world; it truly was the opposite of how I felt. I don't divert away from my little facade; having hundreds of years to train such a thing makes it almost child's play. I pull my hand up to pull that stray lock behind my ear again, it having fallen when I looked for the newest entry in the room.
The pink haired girl twiddled her thumbs over her lap, a processing look flashes over her face for only a second before she looks to me. Tilting her head, she almost reminded me of a cat; those large pools of blue her eyes held. "Well, why were you so mopey-dopey a bit ago?" Her question, rolling off her tongue in a mockingly jovial manner. I blink in surprise as I just thought of her question; she wasn't even looking at me when she entered the gymnasium?!
"I—what?" My tone slips for a second, a hiccup in my own wording as I stumble over what she'd just asked. "Why do you care? Your friends obviously don't." I don't know why I felt the need to be snarky, a bite in my voice as I stare up at the girl. She seems unfazed by the sudden shift in tone, her face with that rock-still smile. She lets out a sort of giggle/snort and I stare are her incredulously; was she stunted or something?
"I care because I can silly!" Her eyes though, they still showed the hurt my one remark caused her. I bite the inside of my cheek, her own response making little to no sense to me—why care when we're not friends? She said it herself, both of our friends don't want any of us communicating. I clench both of my hands into fists over my thighs as I release another sigh.
"That's not a good enough reason." I can only stare, waiting for something; anything other than that damnable smile. It's fake, it's false, it's unreal—it reminds me of my own. Carefully, I release the pressure built between my knuckles as I unfurl my hand. Lowering my head a little, I turn it away from the pink haired girl. I don't want to show this-this weakness, why is it that I'm even bothering with her? Does she want me to uncap everything I've held inside; no, of course not. She doesn't actually care. No one does.
To my surprise, she gently punches me in my shoulder, my attention turning back to her as I blink; confusion likely evident on my face. "There's no 'good enough' reason to care. I just do." Her voice was lower, her smile was dimmer, her eyes were duller. Was that-was that because of me? "Now come on, tell Mama Pinkie what's up." As if it hadn't even happened, her voice jumped up several octaves again; the annoying pitch sounding so oddly comforting. It's like she caught her own hiccup as well.
Before I could catch them, I felt the words leave my mouth on their own will. "I-I don't know—I don't know if I can go through with this." Go through with what? What did I mean by that, the only thing that that could possibly connect with was the—I don't know if I could be a part of this 'feeding'. The Battle of the Bands, the chaos we've caused and are absorbing into our very essences. I don't know if I want to help my 'friends' this time, they know they can't do this without me, but do I want to bare there torment any longer just to help them? "I don't know..." My voice eludes me yet again as I begin to stare down at my dangling feet. In the corner of my eye, I see the pink girl move; an arm wraps itself over my shoulder and I'm taken aback somewhat.
"Then don't, that's the obvious answer." A giggle, the girl giggles at my situation as if it were some joke. It kind of is, really: Idiot siren sides with two others who bully and abuse her simply because she acts differently. Sounds like the startup to a good punch-line. "The only time you should ever do something is when you're sure you can do it. Uncertainty makes us fearful, kinda like how I'm afraid of how tomorrow's going to go. But I'm still doing it, because tomorrows a certainty, it's something I know that's going to happen." Her further explanation only continues to confound me, but at the same time it made sense. Sort of. I bring my arms up and cross them over my chest once more, still looking away from the girl.
"Even with how little sense that made; am I even positive I want to back out? 'Dagi and Aria are going to get really mad at me, especially if I quit on them before this even starts." I shrug my shoulders at the stressed word, thoughts of Aria smacking me on the back of the head flash in and out of mind. Surprisingly, the pink girl's arm around me feels more comfortable, leaning into her with a light shiver. "I don't want them to be mad at me..." Am I—I'm crying, I can feel the translucent liquid being to pool at my eyes and dribble down my cheeks. I was crying in front of a total stranger; a supposed enemy no less. "I don't want them to hate me... I don't want anyone to hate m-me..." Yet I still went on.
Silence follows my short sobs, not an uncomfortable one, but a silence much needed as the girl rubs my shoulder gently. I didn't mean to lose myself in my act over the years. I wanted to show them I wasn't just some taco obsessed moron. I wanted to show them who I was: the real Sonata Dusk. I didn't want to stay that silly little girl, whose dream was to just be with her bestest friends in the whole wide world. Yet that's who I chose to be, to portray myself as, in front of Adagio and Aria. It's who've they've grown accustomed to, it's who they've begun to resent yet still keep around only for her usefulness. I didn't want to be her anymore. Slowly, I feel the girl pull me into her; an embrace, a warm and welcome embrace as she just holds onto me. With her other hand, she raises it to my tear-stained cheeks and wipes away several drops. "Shh, shh... it's okay. It's alright." With how meaningless those words were, I still felt more comfort from them than I originally ever would have thought. A hiccup escapes my throat and I'm forced to push myself deeper into the girl as she continues to hold on to me.
With shaking breaths, I sit next to her; my thoughts all over the place—me, trying to latch on to any that offer the safety this girl has. "I-I don't want—to be the bad guy anymore." A hiccup takes place mid-sentence and I stumble over my words, but I get them through. I sounded so quiet, like a child after a mere scolding. A finger latches itself under my chin and my attention is directed to the pink girl once more, a real smile, though dim, was on her face. A real smile, though dim. Her blue eyes stared deep into mine and she shakes her head, the little real bit of her staying on her face.
"You're not a bad guy, Sonata... you're like... the lesser of three evils, y'know? You're not striving to feed off of others like your so called meanie-friends, you're just striving to stay... you." She lets out a hum after speaking, the finger under my chin moving to push back the lock of hair that continuously found itself dangling on the side of my face. Another hiccup from me and her little smile grows a tad more. "Just think of it as you taking a stand for who you truly are. If you don't want to go through with Adagio's plan, but don't want to get in trouble with either of your bandmates, think of something in between." I'm stuck staring at her as she gives me a playful wink. "You'll be surprised at what you can do." As she finishes, she begins to pull away; a needy groan escapes my lips, but I feel I'm no longer crying. Did I enjoy her companionship?
"Listen, I won't tell the gang about this conversation if you don't want me to. Just know that I'm there for ya if and when you need me, kay 'Nata?" The smallest of smiles cracks upon my face as I hear my old nickname, and I nod to her unwilling to ruin this moment with a hoarse voice. Her smile drops for a moment as she mutters an oh under her breath, an awkward chuckle soon follows from her. "That's right, you don't know my name. Do you?" I watch as she raises a hand to the back of her neck as she rubs it, a cheesy grin taking form on her face as her eyes once more bore into mine. Lowering her hand and extending it out to me, she gives a nod. "My name's Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie! All of my friends do." I freeze at the word friends—did this make us friends? My pupils shrink; if I had an animal's ears, they'd be splayed against the side of my head. Her grin lessens to a less-than confident smirk as she watches me play out my insecurities. "And yes, I consider us friends... do you?" There was a hopeful tone in her voice, underlying her own insecurities; this removed any doubt from my being and I smile to her with my own true smile.
A nod can go along way, but so can a hiccup. Both of which simultaneously happened as I gave the positive answer to her question. She gave a funny look to me, but that was soon replaced with a low chuckle. From the two of us. The mirth that surrounded us soon leaves and we're left in a not-at-all awkward silence, just empty thoughts and smiles. She wraps both arms around me in a quick action that I almost sputter, it was with a blink that I returned the embrace. Yes, this felt right. This felt like friendship.
As much as I wanted the hug to last any longer than it would have, she pulled away; her torso turning to the front as she prepared to hop off of the stage. I watch as she drops herself from my side. Turning her head around to look at me one last time, I see that real smile of hers and I can't help but return it. "Hey, think on what I said, okay? Try taking a road lesser traveled, lesser known. You might be able to pull off both." Her voice was once again the chirpy, happy filled tone that was when she first entered the gym. Yet, it was no longer a ruse, her eyes held mirth and her smile held meaning. "And maybe, when this is all over, we can hang out sometime. As friends, instead of competing band members." I nod as I watch her turn around, a bounce in her step as she leaves me alone to my thoughts.
I bring the palm of my hand up to my cheeks and wipe away whatever rest of the liquid that riddled my face. A question makes itself known in my mind; She herself was down when she'd entered the gymnasium... what held her there? Sadly it was also a question unasked verbally, the door behind Pinkie closing abruptly on its own leaving me truly by myself. I look down to the waxed floors of the gym and ponder over her words. What she'd meant, as I think to myself, I only had an idea. Pushing myself from the stage, my booted feet clicking against the ground, I turn back to the mic stand. Both Adagio and Aria need me, solely for my voice, but what if I didn't try as hard, though made it seem like I was trying my hardest to sing? Would that work? For now though, I will need to try. We needed to be in the Finals if I were to fool 'Dagi and Ari' into thinking we'd lost as a team. I just needed to perform one last act—one last stupid Sonata.
After all, it was the road lesser traveled.
Author's Note
And there we have it, One of Three days to Christmas One-shots!
Yassssss
